#i also appreciated the captain being referred to as they/them. such a small detail but! it is refreshing

[chaosyippee]

I watched Markiplier in space with a friend! We spent hours on the different possibilities and still did not finish. It was so much fun though! I love the various silly routes and the obvious “do not open the door” though opening it anyways haha. Mark is such an amazing creator. I think he said himself he enjoys these projects and you can tell. He truly shines with this content; I love it! Ahh I am going to run through it and see all the options! I am excited to do so :]

[majorproblems77]

Linked maze updated which means I'm back! :D

Hello Linked Maze fans! :D

Linked Maze returns with scent pt10, which means I am back to ramble about the small details in the comic because I enjoy it!

If you dont know what Linked Maze is, It's a links meet comic. About the links in a maze.... Self-explanatory really, but trust me it's amazing and I love it. It's great! But also for more mature audiences, so do take care and heed the creator's warnings before going in!

Importantly - Linked Maze and all the art belongs to @linked-maze and its artist @frulleboi, this chapter also had a guest artist, so the second page's art is done by @marenwithanm. And thanks again for the permission to do this! I really enjoy making them!

With that out of the way, My timer is set, grab some snacks and a drink of your choice! And lets get started! :D

We begin with the small bean

He looks so happy, okay, I love him

Aww four, just wanted his sword back. Also here to straight up appreciate the detail with the little ticktacktoe on the scabbard of his sword i love him dearly.

Wolfie looks both Done and worried at the same time.

Also, them discovering Sky's sailcloth! I'm so excited about this okay I want these two groups to find each other so bad.

Also, I was interested cause I dont think we've seen the sailcloth in the story yet. So it's fascinating that it's here. I blame Angel, she has shenanigans that I think work for this. Like imagine when we see Sky and he's like the fuck why do you have my sailcloth I've not seen it since I got here, type thing.

Wind taking charge as he should be.

There's a bunch to unpack here, so just give me a moment.

That's not Sky's sword.

That's Twilight's sword.

The wrappings on the blade and the markings we see on it later match Twilight's sword. (From the character reference sheets.)

Do you have any idea how excited I was when I saw this? Then saw Wolfie's face like

Why the fuck is that there?

I think this tells us two things.

Twilight/wolfie is now able to be armed. So he's got the capability to fight without the wolf form now. So he might transform soon!

Angel/ djævel are using the hero items to bring the groups together for some reason.

But now im considering the implications of having these specific items here. Like, Thats an item from a character from some of the major groups that we know off right now.

Twilight's sword(Twilight, wind) / Sky's sailcloth (Sky,wild,Time) / Four's sword (four, warrior)

Was the idea for them to find it, or for just one of the groups to find it so that they could find the others.

Something to think about.

Moving on!

Me too four... me too

Yes it does. He's sat about five feet from you

Look at his guilty face, he know's but he can't say and he's sad about it.

Warrior looks worried, you think he's thinking of war stuff right now?

A sword planted into the ground with an important item beside it... a sword who they dont know its owner. Its owner who to them could be dead?

Twilight is the only one who know's his sword after all.

Good call Mr. Captain Warrior sir!

Again with the sad wolfie ears, they give me life okay I love him.

Good on Wind for being the one to lead the charge, we need a good vibe like Wind to get us through the shenanigans that I'm sure are going to ensue.

Again Twilight is looking towards his sword. When you think he would be looking towards Wind at this point. But his eyes appear to be looking towards the markings on the sword.

I love his shocked face. He's like

I can't track myself...

Totally not me going to be using this reaction when someone asks me to do something.

Wolfie is the real MVP of this chapter let me tell you right now.

I love this lot they are wonderful

Yes, you look to your sword and think about what you've done.

Sniff sniff out the cinnamon roll wolfie, find him!

Oh man, this update was fun, I got so unbelievably excited about the sword like it's great to basically have a confirmation about something that's been rotating around in my brain since we saw it before.

Thanks again for listening to me ramble my way through another comic update! :D

And thank you again @linked-maze for letting me do this, i will be continuing them (as long as you let me:) ) cause this was so much fun!

Thats me done for this update tho, so I'll be headed out!

Have a great night! :D

[layraket]

I haven't done the update analysis the past month, so here it is!

I love the boys going into dungeons, and this update made me very happy!

now that I'm remembering it, they may or may not have gotten the map of this dungeon, if the second option is true its just Twilight guessing from the ruins

and isn't that so cool, this guy literaly is figuring out an ancient structure by just the ruins it left in the future. The photography memory this man has

i know this might not contribute anything but i want to check if i am not the only one that sees each one with a different emotion jksfjkds

left is sad, central is happy and right is angry, idk love when objects has faces

alright there's something happening between Legend and Wind, its clear

They haven't talked that much after their discussion in the Sunset arc, so there might be things that haven't been finished or that we didn't get to see between them

idk he seemed like that img "almost got into a fist fight with a 13 yo" or smth like that

Legend has learned a lot from his adventures, memorizing common dungeon puzzles and how to solve them, maybe he even got this puzzle wrong once, that would explain how he already knows about this problem and that can't be undone. I doubt the goddesses would throw their hero with a manual for dungeons

Also Wild has been very quiet during this update

Time still worries about Twilight, he just recovered from an injury that almost kill him, getting his strength back from that is impressive, but still he isn't sure if his descendant is completely healed

mf moving a whole block by himself if this isn't prove that he got his strength at least mostly back idk what it is

remember when i said that Wild had been very quiet? well

He doesn't know how dungeons exactly work, yes Warriors doesn't either, but Wild is more used to go with whatever solution he can find

The captain follows stragety, Wild follows luck, if there's something that can probably work he will take that opportunity

Although, he knows that maybe in here that will not work, but he still wants to feel useful and learn from this strange area for him

Wind telling him this might mean two things; 1. For the space of the corridor they would just be getting in the way and this is more for technical mobility, or 2. They don't really need their help right now, why bother to offer themselves if they will get told to move from the way?

something that i just noticed: is that a mirror? If so, i feel this dungeon will have some light puzzles, or maybe is just decoration, who knows

This place seems very related to owls, these birds being seen as a symbol of Wisdom, and i have seen a lot of people relating it with the Zeldas

with how things are going and Jojo's words, you all maybe aren't that far from the truth

again, mirror indicating that maybe this is a light puzzle, also that this structure is too similar to Hylia's statue in sksw, maybe is related?

not much to say here. love these two.

its very interesting (at least for me) that Four is the one that we see in this pannel, yes maybe he was the closest and thats why, but if we try to give it a more detailed explanation this might just reference him not trusting the magic that Twi uses to transform, he still thinks that its dangerous and would turn agains't them if they aren't careful

obviously this is where they split, going together will make dificult traverse the corridors with how things went the past update wiht the skulltula

also holy shit can we appreciate the backgrounds? i love the perspective its so cool

alr folks now is time for my fav pannels/parts of the update without further context!

i love when theyre small 🤏look at em

beautiful update im happy to finally share my thoughts i've been having them for a while jksfhdjk

as always art credits to @linkeduniverse!

[everseeking]

Hi! Is it okay to ask for a Levi smutxfluff where he's benched from injuring his leg but it's getting a lot better. His fem! S/o is part of his squad and he gets the report that she was in a life threatening situation but she made it safe and he's waiting for the scouts to return. He waits for them and doesn't know what to feel fjejfjs im sorry this is hella long!!! Also no manga spoilers/references please

 - hello !! thank you so much for requesting ! that’s totally okay and don’t apologize for the length, it helped me out having details :) there aren’t any manga spoilers or references, but there are season 2 spoilers in case anyone hasn’t finished it yet. i hope you enjoy and thank you again for requesting <3

relief

- levi ackerman x reader

- warnings: season two spoilers, nsfw contains smut; hand job, oral (giving), fingering, cream pie, slight overstimulation but not much, AFAB!reader

once again, levi injured his damn leg.

after being temporarily handicapped from his leg injury when he initially fought the female titan, he made a personal vow to never let an injury like that happen to him again. it was a major setback and seriously hindered his abilities. but unfortunately, titans makes no promises.

it was during an expedition, of course, and things were taking a turn for the worst. levi was unaware that his squad would be needed on an expedition the next day, so he kept them up late the night before to polish their skills as much as possible. during the mission, it was clear they could barely keep their eyes open.

levi was extremely stressed out, worrying about his team as well as what he was going to say to erwin later when he yelled at the commander for such a late notice on the mission. for now, the captain had to make up for much of his team's slack. as much as the kids wanted to put up an argument when he flew in and stole their prey, they kept their mouths shut. there was no way they could’ve finished the job on their own and knew their protests weren't worth it, as it felt kind of wrong to argue with someone who was saving their lives.

it was brutal work since he too was bordering onto exhaustion, but levi pushed through and helped his team clean up the last hoard of titans. just when he thought he was in the clear, a titan came up on sasha and tried to grab her. if he had gone any slower to finding her, he wouldn’t have been able to save her. but thankfully, levi was able to use the last bit of his gas all at once to throw himself forward and push her out of the way.

he seriously couldn’t catch a break as this resulted in him getting himself caught in the titan's grip. his blades weren't drawn prior to being grabbed so cutting himself out was impossible. the giant had levi's entire lower half engulfed in its hand. if his second in command hadn’t been there he would have for sure been a goner.

it was y/n’s turn to play hero, as she flew in and swiftly sliced the titan's nape, freeing not only her captain but also her partner from definite doom.

levi wished he could say it was a clean save, but he couldn't deny the bone crunching he heard below him. they arrived back home in one piece with only levi's broken leg to report.

so not only had he injured his leg again, but it was worse than his sprained ankle from the forest. the captain was even more upset when the medics informed him that he had to be benched for six weeks. that meant no physical activity for six weeks. yes, that includes sex.

over the course of his healing, there were many times when he claimed to be okay so he could accompany his team on expeditions, only to be rushed back to bed by his colleagues. many people even urged y/n to nail down the door to her and levi’s shared room in order to keep him trapped in there. y/n laughed off the idea, not even considering it because she knew levi would only feel more tempted to break out. a few nails wouldn’t stop him. the only thing he could say he enjoyed about his time off was having y/n as his "personal nurse," when she wasn’t off with the rest of the team. she still had to stop things from getting too heated every now and then.

“doctor’s orders !” she’d always say as she stopped a heated make out session or after he had tried to pull her into his lap.

when it came to more domestic care, levi hated having her watch after him. he definitely appreciated it, but the last thing he wanted was to be a burden to her. he wasn’t just burdening her with his personal care, but also the burden of the entire team since she would be his replacement for the time being. many times he tried to wave off his partner and tell her he could manage on his own before he finally told her he didn’t want to have to rely on her. he was surprised when she brushed back the hair in front of his forehead to kiss his forehead, whispering that she wanted to take care of him and help him. 

finally, he had reached the sixth week and was ready to hit the sky again. the morning of the latest mission, y/n noticed levi had a bit of a pep in his step as he prepared to venture outside the walls for the first time in a few weeks. she giggled at his poor attempts to get excited since he wasn't the best at expressing his emotions, but she felt a little guilty since she didn't have the heart to tell him that he was once again sitting this one out.

hanji had pulled y/n aside the night before and broken the news to her. she explained that although his road to recovery had been going well, he needed to take one more week to ensure that he was completely healed. it hurt y/n’s heart a little bit to hear this. over the last few weeks she watched her partner practically counting down the days until his return, so she made sure to tell hanji that she wouldn't be the one breaking the news to him.

hanji also knew how restless her friend was and wasn't sure if she would comeback alive after telling him the news, so she waited until the last possible second to tell him. literally, word got around that it was time to make the final preparations before heading off when she pulled him aside and told him.

he was enraged to say the least. he grabbed the front of hanji's shirt and pulled her down to his level as he began to chew her out in front of everyone. the soldiers awkwardly shuffled past the two, definitely not wanting to get involved. it wasn't until y/n came and informed the two of them that it was time to go when he finally let go of her. hanji laughed nervously and decided to give the couple one last minute of alone time as she headed back to her squad.

there was a lot they wanted to say to each other, levi wanting to tell y/n to be careful and y/n wanting to apologize for not telling him sooner, but they both knew this wasn't the time for a conversation. y/n put on a determined face and told him that she would do her best to lead the team in his place, offering him a salute, then headed over to join the others.

levi was super bummed. he waited behind and watched as the horses left to make their way towards the outer walls before he sulked to himself and retreated back to his quarters to finish the less exciting side of his job; paperwork.

it had been a few hours since the cadets had left that morning, so the golden sunlight that was now pouring through levi's windows notified him that they should be back any minute now. he stood up from his small desk and stretched his back that had started to stiffen up from sitting in his chair for the last few hours. many nights had been spent sleeping in the same chair, but he swore it was more comfortable sleeping in it than doing paperwork it in.

he took a look around the room and saw the rays of sun illuminated the dust particles floating through the air. it annoyed him to say the least, as he had yet to find a way to clean the air. for now, he would settle for sweeping the room one last time. just as he was pulling a broom out of the closet, a hard knock came from his door.

"captain levi ?" a young soldier called from the other side. levi was slightly annoyed that he was being interrupted, but he managed to keep the ‘this better be important,’ thoughts to himself.

he placed the broom back in the closet and made his way to the door. upon opening it, he saw the distressed look on the soldier's face.

"what is it ?" levi pryed, not really sure what to expect at this point.

the soldier straightened up and cleared his throat. "the first group from today's expedition has arrived with a report. the rest of the scouts are on their way back now, but i was told to hand you the part of the report that regards the condition of your team." the boy held out the paper in his hand for his superior to take.

levi practically ripped the paper out of the soldier’s hand, causing him to flinch a little, but it was understandable. a million scenarios were playing through levi’s mind about what could have happened. he feared that once again he had lost his entire squad and had to start all over again. it was a pain he never wanted to live through again, especially since his lover was apart of his team this time.

his eyes quickly scanned the clearly hastily scribbled words, searching for words like death, killed, and eaten. the was almost at the end of the page when he realized he hadn’t heard anything terrible yet. eren ended up not needing the use his titan form, mikasa had another impressive kill streak, armin and connie were in a bit of a predicament but got out fine, and jean and sasha were safe too. the only one that had been yet to mentioned was y/n.

in an attempt to distract a group of titans from one of her fellow soldiers whose ODM gear was malfunctioning, y/n l/n used herself as bait. she was successful in saving the soldiers life, but one of the titans caught ahold of one of her gear’s cables and she was thrown to the ground. l/n was found unconscious by armin arlert and she is currently being watched until the group arrives and she can be transported to the infirmary for a full check up.

levi’s heart sank deeper and deeper into his stomach with every word he read. y/n was always putting others first regardless of how dangerous a situation was. she was selfless to a fault. he warned her many times that something like this would happen, but she never listened. her heart would never let her not help someone in need. it was one of the things he loved about her the most.

the awkward shuffling of the messenger soldier’s feet brought levi back to reality. before waving him off, levi asked if there was any more information than what was shared in the report, but he shook his head.

the soldier finally left, leaving levi frozen in the middle of his room. the report was too vague for him to know what to think or do. 

how high was she from the ground when she fell ? did she just get knocked out ? or did she hit her head hard enough to cause internal bleeding ? 

the thought that her current condition could be much different from the report also crossed his mind. y/n was stated to only be unconscious, but she could have gotten worse since. 

there’s no point in pondering the what-ifs, he reminded himself, but it was easier said than done. he moved over to his neatly tucked bed and sat down on the edge of it, resting his elbows on his knees and holding his head in his hands.

he didn’t know what he would do if he lost her. what the team would do if they lost her. before he could fall back into his dark thoughts about his partner’s condition, a large commotion came from outside alerting him that the cadets were back.

with a small stumble as he jumped up from his bed, levi sprinted out of his room to go outside. there were already a lot of people crowding around the carts and horses, so he did his best to slip past them all. the people in the way that had managed to see his face instantly moved aside, not wanting to anger the captain after seeing the intense look on his face.

after making his way to the front of the crowd, levi scanned the area in search of y/n, having no luck until he heard a familiar voice yelling ‘captain.’

his eyes met with eren’s who was waving frantically in order to flag down his captain who was now quickly making his way over to the group.

“she’s alright,” the titan shifter called out over the other voices in the crowd. levi didn’t want to get his hopes up as he wasn’t sure how accurate eren’s words were, but regardless, a wave of relief came over him.

as he pulled up next to the cart they were sitting in, levi also met armin, who nodded in agreement with what eren was saying. the blond opened his mouth to add onto what his friend had said, when he was interrupted.

“where’s levi ?”

hearing his partner’s voice almost brought levi to his knees. the weight of not knowing her condition finally fell off his shoulders. he peered over the side of the cart to see y/n laying on the ground on her back with a white bandage wrapped around her entire head. her face instantly lit up when she saw him.

the girl jumped up and threw herself onto the captain, wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight hug. if this were any other situation he would’ve told her to get off of him, but right now he allowed himself to wrap one arm around her back and placed his free hand on the back of her head, pulling her closer to him.

levi couldnt bring himself to scold her for being too rough while she was injured. instead, he sighed and hugged her tighter.

“thank god you’re okay,” he breathed out against her hair. he felt her smile widen as she nuzzled her head deeper into the crook of his neck.

after the two finally pulled apart from each other, levi immediately took y/n to the infirmary where they confirmed she only had a minor concussion.

the moment they entered their shared room for the night, levi pulled y/n in for another hug. she graciously accepted, wrapping her tired arms around his middle.

he pulled back and brought up a hand to brush her hair away from her face so he could place a soft kiss on her forehead where her bandages previously were.

y/n placed her hands on levi’s cheeks and gently pulled his face down so she could plant a kiss on his lips. levi eagerly kissed back and began taking careful steps backwards to lead her onto the bed.

they now sat on the edge of the bed and kiss turned more passionate, with y/n opening her mouth to swipe her tongue across levi's lower lip asking for entrance into his mouth. he eagerly accepted, greeting her tongue with his own as they made out.

without breaking the kiss, y/n carefully straddled herself onto levi's lap taking extra care to not put too much pressure on his healing leg. however, her plans became a lost cause when he grabbed her hips to meet his. her eyes widened as she felt his bulge between her legs. tension built up in her core as she instinctively rolled her hips forward to grind herself against his clothed crotch.

it was levi's turn for his eyes to widen as a wave of pleasure swept across his body. he broke the kiss to meet his partner's lustful eyes as she recoiled her hips back once again to bring herself more pleasure. he sharply inhaled before kissing her deeply one last time before throwing her off his lap.

y/n flopped down on the bed next to him, laughing, but she took the hint and started undressing herself like he did. once their clothes were in a messy heap on the floor, levi took a moment to pull her head close to him so he could kiss the side of it, worried he had only made her concussion worse when he threw her off of him moments ago.

“are you okay ?” he pressed, lips still against her head.

y/n laughed and placed her hand on top of his that was on the side of her head. “i told you a million times that im okay, my love.”

“and i’ll ask you a million more times just to be sure,” he replied, pulling back.

as he moved away, y/n grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him in for another deep kiss. one of the captain's hands placed itself on the small of her back to pull her closer while the other felt around behind her looking for the bed. once he gripped the sheets, he brought the hand up to the other side of her back and took a step to turn his own back towards the bed, then fell onto it, pulling y/n down with him so she would land on top of him.

he cringed as he remembered her concussion and quickly asked if she was okay, only for her to laugh once again and reassure him she was fine. before levi could ask anymore questions or make anymore quips, she returned her lips to his. their tongues explored each other’s mouths, searching every inch of each other’s caverns.

she pulled her lips away from his to smile at him while she slowed her breathing. the sight alone was enough to make levi fall in love all over again. her messy h/c hair fell perfectly, combined with her eyes filled with pure adoration from looking at him and the goofy smile that was on her lips. no one had ever looked at him the way she had. his eyes tore apart from hers and trailed down to see the rest of her body.

"you're absolutely perfect," he whispered, just loud enough for y/n to hear as he took in every curve on her body. levi thanked the stars that the moon was bright enough tonight to let him see the soft pink hue that spread across her cheeks as he complimented her.

she leaned in close to his ear and whispered "as are you," back to him. each movement of her lips tickled against his earlobe. it sent a shiver down his spine. y/n shifted her body weight so that she was now sitting up and straddling his lap once again. her right hand met his strong chest, then dragging down to his toned abdomen followed by his lower stomach.

y/n scooted back so she could get a full view of  his hardened cock. her index finger traced a straight line from the base of his member to the tip. it took a lot of self control for levi keep himself from shuddering as her nail softly grazed the side of his cock.

levi propped himself up with his elbows. to get a good look at what she was doing. he watched as her hand went back to the base of his shaft and her fingers wrapped around it. she started slowly pumping him, resulting in his breaths becoming deeper. he closed his eyes for a mere second when a new wave of pleasure swept across him that made his eyes roll back in his head.

y/n had lowered her face and began sucking on just the head of his cock while her hand's pace quickened. her cheeks hollowed out from the pressure of sucking his tip and he fisted one of his hands into her hair. he didn't push her head down, rather, he gripped it to stimulate pleasure for her as well as to let her know he was enjoying what she was doing.

she hummed against him and started to incorporate her tongue as she swirled it around his head, which sent yet another wave of pleasure throughout his body. when y/n added her free hand to the mix, using it to fondle his balls, the stimulation almost became too much for levi to stand. he used the fist in her hair to pull her off him and up to his face.

a small dribble of spit leaked out of the corner of her mouth. before y/n had a chance to wipe it, levi was pulling her forward and swiping his tongue against her mouth to lick it off, then planted open mouth kisses down her face and up her jawline until he reached her neck where began to suck her skin and create a few hickeys. she slowly leaned her head back to give him better access to her neck.

she said a silent thank you when she realized the marks were placed just low enough to be hidden by the collar of her white shirt so no one would know a thing the next day. everyone already freaked out enough when they found out y/n and levi were a couple.

without removing his lips from her neck, levi lifted y/n from her hips then moved one of his hands to feel the folds of her pussy. she was soaking wet, so all her had to do was cover his index and middle fingers with his slick before he slowly slid them both inside of her. a low moan came from y/n’s parted lips as levi’s fingers went deeper inside of her. 

he pumped them slowly, reaching deeper each time until he was knuckles deep into her core. when he curled his fingers to hit her g-spot, she had had enough.

“inside of me...i need you inside of me levi,” y/n moaned, digging her nails into his back. levi laughed to himself at how desperate his lover had become from just his fingers. it was clear to him that he needed to avoid any injuries that could put a halt to his sex life at all costs from now on. 

he pulled his wet fingers out of her and gripped his cock, making sure to cover it with her juices that were still on his fingers so it would be easier to push inside of her, then positioned himself with her entrance. y/n moaned once again as his tip rubbed against her folds before sliding into her. she sharply inhaled as his head entered her. levi gave her a moment to signal that she was ready before thrusting deeper inside of her. after a few weeks of abstinence, y/n needed a bit longer to get adjusted.

after about a minute, levi was able to thrust his hips up and push his full length inside of her as she dug her nails deeper into his back. he knew it was payback for him marking up her neck when she broke her hazy gaze to give him a smirk. just for that, he pulled himself almost completely out of her, then thrusted balls deep back into her, hard.

y/n’s hand flew off her partner’s back and onto her mouth to stifle the loud moan that almost escaped. she shot him a fake glare and he returned the smirk she had given him earlier. levi wanted nothing more than to hear her call out his name loudly, but it wasn’t worth the harassment he’d face from his colleagues the next day.

after she had composed herself, y/n removed her hand from her mouth and placed it on her partner’s bicep. he stopped thrusting into her, knowing she wanted to take over. just like he had thought, y/n started to rock her hips so she was grinding on him much like she had done whilst they were still clothed.

the pleasure was much more enjoyable now that he was inside her. each time she rolled her hips forward, his cock hit her cervix. now it was levi’s turn to stifle a moan, as y/n road him into ecstasy. his grip on her hips increased which most definitely left yet another mark on her skin.

the fact that y/n was biting her lower lip also didn’t go unnoticed by the captain. whenever she did this it was a sure fire way of telling him she was close to her release. he wrapped one arm around her back and in a swift motion flippped both of them over so that y/n was on her back and he was hovering over her.

she let out a small squeal at his sudden shift and wanted to scold him for not being careful with his leg, but her words were lost as he snapped his hips against hers. she once again went to cover her mouth to avoid her moans escaping, but levi’s hands interlocking with her own prevented her from doing so. he gave both her hands a quick squeeze before going back to thrusting himself into her. her eyes stayed trained on his, while his watched the way she engulfed his cock. it drove him so crazy she could feel him twitch inside of her. he high was near, but there was no way he was going to let himself finish before his partner.

he focused more on his thrusts, moving his hips better so he would hit her g-spot harder with each thrust. the way he rolled his hips to meet her core finally sent her over the edge. he kissed her deeply as she moaned against his lips while he continued to ride out her climax. even after she had come down from her high, levi kept thrusting into her, chasing his own release.

the overstimulation was enough to send her over the edge again, this time being joined by his own release. he let out a low grunt as he finished inside of her painting her inner walls with his cum.

levi pumped into y/n three more times before he stopped and fell onto her chest, not even bothering to pull out. after six weeks of no sex, their orgasms were both super intense.

“maybe we should wait another six weeks before our next round if it’s gonna be that good again,” y/n teased.

levi’s head shot up so he could see her face. y/n bust out laughing when he finally realized she was kidding. levi rolled his eyes and pushed himself off her so he could slide out of her.

the mix of their juices that escaped her as he unsheathed his cock from her made his member twitch back to life, becoming hard again.

“or i guess we could go again right now,” y/n added after sitting up herself and seeing his hard on.

levi smiled and pushed her back down gently then hovered over top of her once again.

“that’s more like it.”

[aomine-ryo]

Your last ask was seriously funny! We need more of that. If possible, can I request different scenrios where the s/o of the gom gets asked questions by the s/o of their boyfriend's teammate(s) about their night (because reader has a looot of love marks).... this is so freaking specific, im sorry😂😂 if you cant do it it fine, if you do, then i appreciate you and your writings (i love your blog and im also a simp for Aomine)

Aren’t we all a simp for Aomine 😭💕 I really couldn’t think of anything for Midorima and Murasakibara without it being too repetitive and boring so I unfortunately left them out of this one, so I’m sorry and I hope you don’t mind too much!! xx

Scenario: Kuroko, Kise, Aomine and Akashi’s s/o being questioned about their love marks

Kuroko

It was a rather chilly Wednesday afternoon and you were watching Seirin’s practice as you usually would. While you initially came there to watch your boyfriend play, you actually also ended up becoming quite close with Kagami, Izuki and Mitobe’s significant others who also came to watch quite often.

As you watched over the practice while chatting away with your friends, you began to feel rather warm due to the gym’s heating, so you took off the scarf that you’d wrapped around your neck. Not thinking too much of it, you continued with your conversation, only to notice that your friends had their eyes fixated on your neck. “Why are you guys looking at me like that?” you questioned, trying to decipher the strange smirks and nods they shared with each other.

“Y/N, your neck...” Mitobe’s s/o trailed off, getting caught up in giggles before they could finish.

“What? Is there something on my neck?” you asked, beginning to panic as your hand immediately reached for it in the fear that there was a bug on it.

“I’m guessing you and Kuroko had some fun last night,” Kagami’s s/o giggled, causing you to freeze as you came to a realisation of what they were referring to.

You quickly wrapped the scarf around your neck again to conceal the red marks your boyfriend had left the night before. Filled with embarrassment, your averted your gaze and fixated on the boys’ practice to avoid making eye contact with your friends. Of course, they didn’t let you off the hook that easily.

“I didn’t think Kuroko was the type to leave marks, but damn he really went to town on your neck, huh Y/N?” Kagami’s s/o teased, making your face turn red with embarrassment.

“Shut up,” you grumbled, letting out a nervous chuckle.

“So, was yesterday a special night? Or does he always leave marks like those?” Mitobe’s s/o interrogated.

“It’s always the quiet ones...”

“Oh my God, stop,” you said, unable to hold back the giggles from the ridiculousness of their comments. “It was just a normal night okay?”

The two of them shared a look before hooting a long “oooooh,” making you wish you didn’t say anything at all.

“So it’s a normal thing then?” Kagami’s s/o continued, the grins on their faces growing wider and wider.

“I’m gonna pretend like I can’t hear you,” you said finally, looking everywhere but at them. You didn’t lie when you said that though. They kept teasing you, but you just sat there as though they weren’t talking to you.

Eventually, they got tired of it, but they didn’t hesitate to shoot you knowing glares when practice ended and you hurried over to Kuroko to escape them.

“Is everything okay?” Kuroko asked you, when he noticed how much of a hurry you were in to leave.

“Yeah, they just saw the marks from last night,” you informed him, making him blush at the memory of the previous night’s events. “So can we just leave before they come here and embarrass me even more?”

Not wanting to draw any attention to himself, Kuroko agreed with you after letting out a small chuckle. “Sorry about that, Y/N,” he said sincerely, not knowing how he’d respond to remarks if he were in your position.

You gave his hand a tight squeeze and flashed him a reassuring smile. “It’s alright, I’ll let it slide because last night was really fun,” you beamed, causing his face to flush red before the two of you left the gym after exchanging brisk goodbyes with the team.

Kise

It was just another practice day at Kaijo where you were casually chatting with your friends. They weren’t normally people you would hang out with, but you’d gotten quite close during these practices since they were the significant others of your boyfriend, Kise’s teammates. Whilst you considered them friends, they weren’t exactly close enough where you’d feel comfortable sharing personal details about your relationship, so you would often stick to light hearted stuff— which you quite enjoyed because they always gave you a good laugh.

“Y/N, is this the first time you’re wearing a scarf?” Moriyama’s s/o asked you, eyeing the bright blue scarf that Kise lent you this morning.

“Yeah, it is,” you nodded.

“I can tell. It’s really not your usual style— it’s not even wrapped properly,” they continued, giving you a pitiful chuckle as Kasamatsu’s s/o bobbed their head in agreement.

“Yeah, I know. I was trying something new, but I’m not sure I like it,” you sighed, fiddling with the end of it. To be honest, you didn’t even want to wear it. It was only there to cover up the bright red marks Kise left all over your neck the night before. You wanted to cover it up with makeup, but you remembered that morning that you needed to buy a new bottle of foundation because Kise accidentally knocked your old one over while playing around with you and broke it.

“Here let me wrap it properly for you,” Kasamatsu’s s/o offered, shuffling closer to you and taking your scarf off before you had time to protest.

And just like that, you were left bare-necked, with both of their eyes glued onto you in shock as your face flushed red. You immediately snatched the scarf back and wrapped it back out of embarrassment.

“Oh my God Y/N! Your neck was covered in hickeys!” Moriyama’s s/o squealed, making you want to dash out of there.

“So you and Kise got it on last night huh? Go on, give us the details!” Kasamatsu’s s/o urged excitedly as they nudged your shoulder with their elbow.

“Details? It was nothing,” you said nervously, desperately searching your head for a way to change the topic.

“Nothing? Y/N, those marks were plastered all across your neck! He barely left any spots untouched,” Moriyama’s s/o laughed.

“Well, what do you want me to say? We were just messing around,” you shrugged. “Can we please move on—“

“Hey guys,” Kise chimed in, cutting you off with a kiss on your cheek. You looked around in confusion and realised that he was on his water break and began to prepare yourself for what’s to come. “What’re you talking about?”

“Well, Y/N was just showing us those marks on their neck—“

“I wasn’t showing them to you! You saw them against my will,” you corrected as you buried your face in your hands.

“Shhh, seems like you two had fun last night,” Kasamatsu’s s/o giggled.

“Oh those! I kind of got carried away, didn’t I? Sorry, Y/N-cchi,” Kise said sweetly as he wrapped his arms around you apologetically.

“We were trying to get Y/N to spill some details but they’re too embarrassed,” Kasamatsu’s s/o said as you continued to pray that this hell of a conversation would end. You hated how charismatic Kise was sometimes, because it often ended with him slipping into conversations like this so easily and just fuelling the fire.

“Embarrassed? Y/N-cchi, you don’t need to be embarrassed. I left those marks there for a reason— you should be proud of them!” Kise sang as your friends nodded along, a smug look on both of their faces.

“Ryouta please stop,” you whined as he only hugged you tighter.

“But those marks look nice on—“

“Captain! Hasn’t this water break gone on long enough?” You called out to Kasamatsu all of a sudden.

“Oi Kise, get your ass back on the court!” Kasamatsu yelled back in reply, causing Kise to sigh.

“Why’d you do that?” Kise pouted.

“Because I like watching you practice,” you said innocently. “You’re playing a game now aren’t you? Why don’t you go score a cool dunk for me?”

Just like that, Kise immediately lit up. “I’ll score the best dunk you’ve ever seen!” He said cheerily before turning back to your friends. “Take it easy on Y/N-cchi, it’s my fault after all.”

“Yeah yeah, we’re just joking around for the fun of it. It’s not funny if it goes on for too long anyways,” Moriyama’s s/o replied reassuringly.

“Great. Thanks,” Kise grinned. Just as you thought he was going to leave, he suddenly leaned in close to your ear and whispered, “You know, those marks on your neck really do look pretty— I might just make some more later.”

And like it was nothing, Kise strutted off confidently, leaving you with a face that couldn’t be more flustered even if you tried.

Aomine

It wasn’t unusual for you to have marks all over your neck since everyone had already gotten used to it. The first few times the team and their significant others noticed them, there were a lot of questions and reactions, though they were mainly directed at Aomine so you didn’t mind all too much. Of course, you’d still try to hide them as much as you could, but makeup is expensive and to be spending so much on concealing marks that would just appear again within a week or so seemed quite redundant to you. You also tried to tell Aomine to limit the marks to places that clothes could cover, and while he’d agree beforehand, he’d often end up getting carried away and doing what he wants.

It was the day of an important preliminary match for Touou and you met up with the significant others of Wakamatsu and Imayoshi at the stands of the arena after wishing your boyfriend good luck. Upon greeting them, their eyes were immediately directed to your neck— which you expected. You tried covering the marks up with makeup but they were still quite visible. Furthermore, it was the summer so a scarf or turtleneck was not an option— you weren’t going to suffer for something this trivial.

“Y/N, did you even try to cover that up?” Wakamatsu’s s/o asked with a sigh.

“I did! I think I need to get some better foundation, honestly,” you groaned as you took a seat next to them.

“My God, that Aomine really doesn’t quit huh? Even before a big game?” Imayoshi’s s/o asked.

“Somehow he’s even more riled up before games. I really don’t know how he has the energy,” you sighed.

“Don’t act like you don’t like it,” Imayoshi’s s/o said with a smirk.

“Well, of course I like it. Just let me complain, will you?” you joked.

“Haven’t you tried telling him to take it easy with the marks?” Wakamatsu’s s/o questioned.

“I have— many times. But he never listens.”

“Yeah, I don’t think he’d ever really listen to things like that,” Imayoshi’s s/o said.

“That’s just Daiki for you,” you shrugged.

“Well, was last night fun?” Wakamatsu’s s/o asked suggestively, nudging your arm.

“Yeah it was,” you said, beginning to feel slightly flustered as your mind wandered back to moments from the night before.

“Oooh, go on, give us the details,” Imayoshi’s s/o said excitedly.

“No way. That’s only for me to know,” you said firmly. “Besides, I’m way too tired to be going into details anyway,” you added as you let out an exhausted yawn.

“My God, how long were you up till?” Wakamatsu’s s/o asked.

“I don’t even remember— I think it was 2 a.m.?” you guessed, cursing Aomine and his stamina for keeping you up so late.

“Don’t you think he’d be too tired to play today then?” Wakamatsu’s s/o asked.

“He’s an idiot, but he wouldn’t be up so late unless he knew he could handle it,” you replied.

The topic quickly died out once the game began, and all of you were so consumed with it that all of you’d completely forgotten about the marks. And of course, Touou won with a massive lead— with Aomine scoring almost half of the points. He truly was incredible, you thought.

Akashi

You were often very good at hiding marks left behind by Akashi, but there was this one morning where you were in such a rush that you had no time to cover them up. So as you headed to the gym to watch Akashi’s practice like you usually would, he seemed to notice the red spots on your neck. As a smile spread across his face, he took his jacket off and handed it to you.

“Sorry for rushing you so much; I don’t like being late. Here, wear this so you can cover those up for the most part,” he said, eyeing your neck with a look that had no traces of regret whatsoever.

You took his jacket and zipped it all the way up so that it would cover your neck. “Shouldn’t you be apologising for leaving the marks instead?”

“I wouldn’t have left them if I thought I’d have to apologise for it. They look quite pretty on your neck if I’m being honest—I’m just saving you from being interrogated,” he explained coolly as you neared the gym.

“Well, I have a feeling that it’s gonna happen whether I like it or not.”

And just as you expected, when you got to the gym and met up with Mayuzumi, Hayama and Nebuya’s s/os, you were greeted with a few strange looks. “What’s up with the jacket, Y/N?” Mayuzumi’s s/o questioned.

“Oh, Sei gave it to me because I was feeling chilly,” you lied with a shrug.

“You don’t usually zip it up all the way though. It looks weird,” Hayama’s s/o pointed out. You didn’t realise that they were this observant until then.

“Y/N’s probably hiding something under there then,” Nebuya’s s/o said jokingly, almost as if they knew exactly what was going on but tried to pass it off as something humorous.

“What could I possibly be hiding?” you played along, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Nebuya’s s/o said suggestively, still clearly joking.

“Could it possibly be hickeys?” Mayuzumi’s s/o guessed, causing the group to break out into a chorus of hoots as you genuinely questioned whether they had psychic abilities.

“What? Why would you say that?” you laughed, still determined not to give it away.

“I want to say that I did some incredible detective work, but there are still marks poking out ever so slightly from your neck that gave it away,” Mayuzumi’s s/o explained, drawing all the attention towards your neck as the other two tried to spot it.

You let out a sigh, “Alright, you got me. I didn’t have time to cover them up this morning.”

“Let us see them!” Hayama’s s/o said a little too excitedly.

“Why do you need to see them?”

“It’s the prize for our investigative abilities,” Nebuya’s s/o said.

Rolling your eyes, you reluctantly unzipped the jacket, revealing the bright red and purple marks spread across your neck and earning a gasp from all three of them.

“Akashi really doesn’t hold back, does he?��� Hayama’s s/o giggled.

“Sounds about right— it’s Akashi Seijuro we’re talking about after all,” Mayuzumi’s s/o commented.

“So, did you have fun last night, Y/N?” Nebuya’s s/o grinned.

“Well, yeah,” you mumbled, beginning to feel a little embarrassed as you zipped the jacket back up.

“There are a lot of marks though. Is he really that rough?” Mayuzumi’s s/o asked, a slight hint of concern in their voice.

“Kind of? I don’t know. It feels weird talking about it. But he has his moments,” you answered, not knowing how much you should be sharing with them.

“He just seems so cool and collected that I can’t believe he did that much damage, you know?” Nebuya’s s/o explained.

“Yeah I get what you mean,” Hayama’s s/o nodded along as all of their heads turned to take a look at Akashi, who was instructing his team about something.

“Can we please move on from this topic, it’s weird,” you said quickly, not liking that they were all probably thinking about Akashi in a whole different way now.

They were somehow quite understanding of your request and the conversation quickly moved on to a different subject matter so that whatever happened between you and Akashi remained between the two of you— and you hoped that it would stay that way.

[supraveng]

Informant

this is my entry for  #fireflymovieinspo challenge by @firefly-in-darkness​

A/N:  my chosen movie is the Devil Wears Prada, so in this fic the reader is using some of Miranda Priestley's best lines, quotes are bold in the story.  this is also my first gender neutral fic.  

My Masterlist

Summary: Reader is questioned by SHIELD and Avengers, reader is uncooperative and a little shit, but justifiable 

dividers by @firefly-graphics

Being left, in what you could only refer to as an interrogation room, has you on edge.  You hadn’t done anything wrong and you were being held against your will, handcuffed to a table.    When the door finally opened, two people entered, neither one apparently knew how to smile.  

“Y/N L/N, I’m Director Fury, this is” You cut him off before allowing him to continue his polite little introductions 

“I don’t care who you are, I want to know why I’m here”  Both Fury and the woman he came in with stopped and looked at you before sitting in the chairs across from you.  

“So, let’s get down to business then” the woman opened the folder she placed on the table, and pushed a picture toward you.  “We want to know everything about Mr. Curtis Everett”  

Looking back and forth between the two you assumed they had the wrong person and would realize it at some point.  “I don’t know him, can I go now?” pulling on the handcuffs keeping you seated at the table.  

“The faster you cooperate, the faster this will be over” he tells you, acting as if he is annoyed and bored at the same time.  

“Curtis Everett is a dangerous man, we all know that, so if you are refusing to talk to try and save yourself, don’t worry, we can protect you” the woman reaches out to softly touch your hand as a sign of reassurance.  Scanning the two faces across from you, you almost start laughing.  

“So is this the ‘good cop/bad cop’ thing I see in bad dramas?  I never would have guessed that was real” shaking your head at the whole situation. 

“Look, we know he visits you at the diner at least once a week.  And then you visit his office every night for several hours.  What we need from you is cooperation in taking down his illegal activity.  How many offices does he have?  How many people does he have around town?  Who is his second in command helping him stay under the radar?” good cop asks you question after question like she’s about to break open the case of her life.  

You look at her, lean in slightly and give her a small smile “Please bore someone else with your questions” before sitting back and returning to your previous stoic expression.  

There was a knock at the door, causing the two to leave the room, but leaving the folder in front of you.  You assumed this was some sort of intimidation tactic, but you really couldn’t care less.  

This whole situation was a joke, but you weren’t about to let them see how scared you were from all of it.  It was only a minute before the door opened again and in walks Tony Stark and Steve Rogers.  

You tried your best to not provide any reaction, but realizing you had been detained by the Avengers put a knot in your stomach you weren’t sure how to handle.  “Hi, we brought you some water” Steve Rogers placed the bottle on the table, next to the pictures. 

“Thank you, but what I would prefer is to know what charges I’ve been arrested for and to request a lawyer or my phone call” you try to remain calm and ask nicely, maybe they will get you outta here, they are the good guys after all.  

“You aren’t under arrest, so no phone call, no lawyer.  We just need some info and you are free to go” Tony Stark states as if it was the simplest option.  

“Then tell me why I’m handcuffed to this table?” you almost yell, your frustration getting the better of you. The two look at your hands, the handcuffs, then at each other, before Tony turns to the mirror with a questioning look.  

A two way mirror too, it’s like you are in a crappy cop show.   Just then you hear the familiar voice of ‘bad cop’ come through a speaker, “The handcuffs are for our protection, she assaulted several of our agents”  

Your humorless laugh was enough for both Avengers to turn around with the disapproving parent look “I’ve been kidnapped, I have every right to protect myself”  you yell loud enough for everyone on the other side of the mirror to hear.  

Before you can continue, ol Cap looks at you confused “kidnapped?  What are you talking about?” before taking a seat directly in front of me.   

“When you haven’t done anything wrong, taken against your will, and handcuffed, what else would you call it, Captain?” shrugging at his confusion.  

The two Avengers looked at each other again before Tony sighs and leaves the room, returning a moment later with the key to the cuffs.  You were tempted to thank them but decided against it, keeping your stoic expression you gave them a slight nod in appreciation.  

The following few minutes consisted of Iron Man and Captain America explaining to you what important part you are playing in this take down of this Everette guy.  You rolled your eyes and leaned over the table “I don’t know anything, and frankly the details of  your incompetence do not interest me”.  Sitting back in your chair you crossed your arms over your chest “when are you going to let me out of here?”  

"It might not be the safest to go back home just yet" Steve trying his best at getting you to cooperate.  "If you are willing to stay and help us, we can get you a room in the residential area, have some dinner and work through this situation as quickly and easily as possible" he gave you a small smile, oozing with charm and you wondered if he's ever been told no.  

You shrugged "I could eat."   Standing and following Steve out of the room, you could hear Tony arguing with someone, you assumed it was good cop and bad cop but couldn't care less at this point.  

Stepping on the elevator, the two of you were greeted by an automated voice referring to you as Captain and guest, you chuckled before whispering "guess that's better than prisoner."  

Steve tensed up next to you immediately, guessing he heard you and wondering what to do next, but he surprised you by turning towards you.  “I don’t know what transpired to bring you here, and I apologize on behalf of all of SHIELD, but we do need your help and I’m glad you are here” he was so sincere that you couldn’t remain mad even if you wanted to, so instead, you mumbled a weak thanks and followed him out of the elevator once it reached, what you presumed was the residential area.   

There was music playing, people chatting and incredible smells coming from the kitchen.  Everyone seemed to sense your presence and quieted down when you stepped in the room behind their captain.  “We have a guest for dinner” Steve announced, trying to ease your mind of the situation.  “This is Y/N L/N, they are here to possibly help with some information on the Everette investigation.” 

[morganaspendragonss]

holly's august extravaganza day 4: a friend in me

📍 anon - I don't know but I feel like Carlos and Nancy can have such an awesome best friend dynamic. Maybe something sad/scary regarding Nancy happens where she has to make a report at the precinct and Carlos doesn't tell anyone as she made him promise so he starts to just check on Nancy and they just develop this caring, supportive, beautiful, fun, full of banter friendship to the amusement of TK and the 126.

kept this separate from your original ask because i want to keep those other prompts you sent alongside this one for later 😊

ao3 | 2k | hurt/comfort, brief references to gun violence, mostly just carlos and nancy being besties

Carlos has never seen Nancy look so small.

She’s sitting hunched over in one of the interrogation rooms, shock blanket around her shoulders, hands seemingly moving of their own volition to tear the empty styrofoam cup in front of her to shreds. As soon as Carlos had seen her being escorted into the precinct, shaking like a leaf and clutching her coat like a lifeline, he’d persuaded the officer with her to let him take over the case. His association with the 126 is well known so the officer had been reluctant, but Carlos had managed to wear him down, saying that he doesn’t really know Nancy that well.

And it’s—it’s not exactly a full lie. Through their hangs and TK’s stories, he’s coming to see Nancy as a force of nature, a woman who will let nothing and no-one stand in her way, whether that’s out on the field or during a game of Monopoly. But of her personal life, Carlos knows next to nothing; she mentioned a sister a few weeks ago, and TK delights in teasing her about her growing crush on Marjan, but that’s about it.

He needs to make more of an effort, he decides. When they’re anywhere else but a police station.

Carlos knocks lightly on the door to announce his presence before entering the room, sending her what he hopes is a reassuring smile. Nancy visibly relaxes at the sight of him and she drops the remains of her cup, though Carlos doesn’t miss the continuing tremble to her hands.

“Hey Nancy,” he says, sliding into the seat opposite her. “How are you doing?”

Nancy’s lips twitch, the corners barely curving into the beginnings of a wry smile. She breathes out shakily, meeting Carlos’s eyes for the briefest second before staring back down at the table. “I’m not great,” she answers, and for her to admit to that… Well, Carlos suspects it’s not a regular occurrence.

He nods, reluctantly pulling out his notebook and pen, hesitating before flipping to the next blank page. Nancy tracks his movements, resignation clearly etched all over her features. Carlos glances at the two-way mirror—not that it does him any good—then reaches across the table to take Nancy’s hand.

“We don’t have to do this right now,” he murmurs. “If you need more time, just say the word and I’ll leave. Or if you’d prefer to talk to someone you don’t know, we can do that too. Anything you need.”

The sudden tightness of Nancy’s grip is unexpected, as is the flash of panic in her eyes.

“Please, don’t go,” she whispers. “I don’t—” She cuts herself off, shutting her eyes and breathing slowly for a few seconds. Slowly, her hold on Carlos begins to loosen until her hand is slack in his, then she draws both hands into her lap and straightens in her chair. When her eyes reopen, she seems more like the Nancy Carlos knows—strong, confident, assertive—though there’s still clearly an undercurrent of fear underneath it all.

“I’m fine. Let’s do this.”

Carlos bites back an are you sure and settles for clicking his pen, his smile unwavering. “Can you run me through what happened, exactly?” he asks. “Take your time.”

A second or two passes, then Nancy nods, her voice steady when she speaks. “I was restocking the bus at the end of shift. I was alone; Captain Vega was in her office and TK was with the others in the showers—he did try to help but he’d had to go into a fire on our last call to help a patient and the smell of smoke was giving me a headache, so I told him to go.”

Carlos pauses in his note-taking, mentally filing that last piece of information away for follow-up as soon as he sees his boyfriend again. Judging by the amused quirk to Nancy’s eyebrow, she’s fully aware of where his mind has gone, so Carlos clears his throat and motions for her to continue, forcing his thoughts back to the present.

“Like I said, I was alone. I didn’t mind it; it was kind of relaxing, you know? Then this guy appeared from nowhere and pointed a gun at me, saying if I called out or turned on the siren or anything, he’d shoot. I thought—” She inhales sharply, her knuckles going white on the tabletop and her jaw clenching tightly. Her voice sounds different when she next speaks, more controlled, as though forcing each word out. “I thought it was happening again. I thought he was going to take me somewhere, make me his personal pet paramedic, something like that.

“Turns out, he just wanted drugs. I gave him what we had on the rig and he seemed satisfied, so I figured he’d shoot me anyway ‘cause I’d seen his face, right? He didn’t—obviously—but it looked like he was considering it.” Nancy pauses and flicks her gaze up at Carlos, biting her lip. “I think he might have done it,” she admits quietly, “but he got spooked by one of the guys making noise so he just bolted. I’m not sure how long it was between that and TK coming back and finding me. I’m sorry.”

Carlos shakes his head. “It’s okay. We can check the cameras at the station. With luck, that should get us an ID, maybe a license plate if he drove. I think that’s almost everything; just one more question, if that’s okay. Can you tell me what you gave him exactly?”

Nancy nods. “Morphine, Ativan, tramadol… I’d have to check stocks for the exact amounts.”

“We’ll do that, don’t worry about it.” Carlos taps his pen on the pages before flipping his notebook shut and leaning across the table again. “Are you okay?” he asks softly. “Speaking as a friend and not a cop, if there’s anything you need, anything I can help with, let me know.”

She smiles wanly. “I’m okay. I just want to go home and forget all this ever happened.”

“Fair enough. I’ll walk you out to your car.”

Carlos half-expects her to brush him off, but she just nods and allows him to escort her back through the precinct and out to her car. He dithers awkwardly, shuffling his feet as Nancy turns to him, one hand on the door handle.

“Thank you, Carlos. For real. I have the feeling it wasn't a coincidence that you were the one in that room with me.”

The tips of Carlos’s ears go pink as he finds himself caught out. “That, uh… That would not be inaccurate.”

“Well, thanks.” She pulls open the car door and Carlos takes a step back, wanting to wait until she’s safely away to go back inside. Nancy ducks as if to get in, then pauses and straightens again, biting her lip as she looks back at him.

“Hey, Carlos?” she says. “Can you do me a favour and not tell the others? Not even TK. They— They know vaguely what happened, but I’d prefer it if the details and, uh, some of the other stuff I told you could be kept between us.”

He agrees immediately, just grateful that she trusts him enough to handle this for her. “No-one will know any more than they need to,” he promises, which seems to relieve her. She thanks him again, then gets in the car and drives away, Carlos watching after her with one hand raised in farewell.

*

It grows from there.

It’s not intentional exactly, but one text to check up on her soon turns into a steady stream of messages, stories and jokes and even the occasional meme passing back and forth between them. Carlos especially appreciated Nancy's carefully curated collection of dirt on TK, which, as a concerned boyfriend, it is his duty to know. Many a conversation has been spent griping about TK's accident prone ways or sighing over his latest mishap.

Lovingly, of course.

Nancy, 15.48: you’ll never guess what happened this time

Carlos, 16.22: ?

In answer, he receives a picture of a dejected-looking TK sprawled on the floor with Buttercup’s front paws squarely resting on his chest. Buttercup’s tongue is lolling out, a wide grin on his face, and in the background stand the rest of the crew. All of them also seem to have their phones pointed towards TK—probably the reason TK looks so down, as Carlos knows his boyfriend couldn’t be upset with Buttercup to save his life.

Nancy, 16.26: he thought he’d try to teach buttercup some tricks. turns out, dog trainers exist for a reason

Carlos has to stifle a laugh—technically, he is supposed to be working—but his attempt at being subtle is thwarted when his phone repeatedly pings with similar texts and photos from Paul, Marjan, and Mateo. He screenshots the sudden influx of notifications and sends it to Nancy before saving every single photo.

Nancy responds with a laughing emoji and a promise to keep him updated.

*

Not all of their conversations are about TK, naturally.

Carlos, 19.10: I don’t understand why you don’t just talk to her

Nancy, 19.12: i do talk to her. every shift, actually

Carlos, 19.13: Nancy

Nancy, 19.13: carlos

Nancy, 19.14: i don’t even know if she’s into women, alright? it’s not like i can just march up and ask, that’s like waving a banner saying ‘hey, i’m in love with you’ in her face

Carlos, 19.16: Oh, we’re talking about love now, are we?

Nancy, 19.17: can it, reyes

Carlos, 19.20: Noted. Look, take it from someone who’s been navigating gay relationships in Texas his whole life. Sometimes you just have to go for it. Ask her for coffee, test the waters, see where it leads. You never know, it might work out. I mean, look at me

Nancy, 19.24: wow, way to rub your happiness in my face 😑

(Carlos doesn’t find out if she follows his advice, but he does notice her and Marjan showing up to their hangs together)

(Nancy does not appreciate his smugness)

*

Without even realising, they become a formidable team. This fact is highlighted one game night about three months after the incident, when Nancy and Marjan blow into his and TK’s house, a determined glint in both their eyes.

“We’re switching up the teams,” Marjan declares, much to TK’s outrage.

“What? Why?”

“Because,” Nancy continues, “we’re tired of losing to you guys. You’re like, freakishly good at board games and it’s not fair. Plus, we have to watch you both being all lovey all the time when you’re on the same team and it’s exhausting. We want to see you being competitive for once.”

TK pouts, but Carlos just shrugs when he looks to him for backup. “It’ll be fun,” he says, smiling at Nancy and Marjan. TK still looks put out, so he leans in close and half-murmurs, “C’mon babe. How about a prize for the winner?”

TK perks up considerably at the suggestion, and, going by the twin looks of despair on Nancy and Marjan’s faces, they caught both the comment and the innuendo. Marjan groans and Nancy raises her eyes skyward, as if pleading for divine intervention.

“This was a great idea, actually,” TK says, grinning. He quirks an eyebrow at Nancy. “You and me, Nance?”

That seems to shake Nancy out of her silent prayers for strength. “Uh, no. I’m with Carlos.” To emphasise the point, she strides forward and grabs Carlos’s arm, dragging him to the couch. He nudges her gently when they sit, smirking at the disgruntled way she digs into the snack bowl.

“You did say you wanted to see us being competitive.”

“Shut up.”

*

In the end, TK ends up paired with Mateo, and Marjan with Paul. It’s clear from the outset who’s going to win—Nancy and Carlos dominate the board, and not even Paul’s master strategy is enough to catch up with them.

They win by a comfortable margin, fist-bumping in celebration. There’s a general air of bemusement in the room, and when Carlos looks round at the others, he finds four pairs of eyes fixed on them.

“What?”

“Since when have you two been such a good team?” Paul asks, leaning back in his chair and raising an eyebrow.

Carlos shrugs, sharing a smile with Nancy. “Guess we just are.”

[wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse]

Always There (Faramir x Gender Neutral!reader)

Request: I'd like to send a Faramir request! And I thought maybe just some fluff, confessing their love to each other? ~ @midearthwritings

Word count: 2249 (sorry I got carried away, it was fun lol)

Warnings: The teensiest bit of angst, fluff, and kissing?

A/N Alright, I thoroughly enjoyed making this one, I always love me some Faramir! Just for reference, I have not gotten to Return of the King yet, I have only watched the movie, so if something seems to be incorrect, my deepest apologies. And yes, I bent the story to match my thoughts. It’s fine. Thank you so much to @guardianofrivendell for helping me with some scenes! Also, a Quisby is a lazy-ass and a yaldson is the son of a prostitute. I looked up medieval insults and thought they were pretty funny. May or may not be using them on my friends...

Denethor was a quisby, a yaldson. You clenched your jaw, seething with anger. You couldn’t say much, for fear of upsetting the king, no, the Steward. But he was sending his only son left to battle. A battle that he could not win. No one would survive. Wasteful. And he sent the love of your life.

Faramir had always been special to you. When you were younger you were closer with Boromir, but as you all grew up, fitting the molds made for you, things changed. Boromir was always learning policy and diplomacy as his father’s right hand. Faramir was left behind with the lesser jobs, that most would consider unpleasant for someone used to a grandeur life. You bonded quickly, soon knowing even the most minuscule details about each other. And all was well. Until Osgiliath was taken again. With Boromir’s success came more criticism of Faramir. This also led to Boromir sent to a secret council regarding a weapon that could change the war. But Boromir never returned from the mission. He never made it back home. To Faramir and you. 

Denethor took the news horribly, but nothing compared to Faramir. He was distraught, hiding the most of his pain. He only confided in you, how lost and unappreciated he felt. He didn’t understand how those words also hurt you, carving deeper into the fresh wound of grief. He didn’t realize how much you appreciated him, how blind he was to your love. It was all you could do to not unravel then and there, piece by piece. But you held strong, for his sake. He had no one left but you. His father did not care for him. His brother who showered him with affection and praise was gone. It was just you two. 

And now he was gone, sent on a death mission, little chance of making it back. You found yourself in your room, not remembering how you got there. Tears were streaming down your face, slowing down to your chin. You went onto the balcony, luckily one that did not face the battle. It would be unbearable to see it. You curled up, your back pressed against the cool stone. You wished you had told him. Told him how you had felt. You relished the memories you shared with him. Even though he only saw you as a friend, no more. The day passed quickly, but you stayed where you were, hidden. And then, a horn sounded. They were back. At least whoever was left. But there were worse things heading towards the gates. Gondor was under attack.

You rushed to the gates, your thoughts clouded with panic. Only one thought was constant. Where was Faramir? You reached the guards at the front. 

“What happened? Who made it back?” You said hurriedly, seeing no signs of injury in the guards nearby. 

“Only the Captain of Gondor made it back ma’am, he was injured horribly. Taken back to the citadel is what I heard. Hardly going to last the night.” The guard looked at you, concerned. “Are you the one Faramir talked about? I was by his side all through Osgiliath. Pardon me if I’m mistaken, but you like precisely like what he described.”

You bowed your head, cheeks a hint darker than normal. It didn’t matter, he only talked about you as a friend. And besides, he was horribly injured. This should be the last thing on your mind. “Aye, that would be me. But excuse me, I must be on my way. I need to find him.” 

You turned from the slightly bemused guard and walked as quickly as you could without causing alarm. Although at this point, everybody had to have known about Faramir. Everyone except you. You turned a corner, quite distracted, and slammed into someone. 

“Oh, I am terribly sorry I- what on Middle Earth?” You stuttered. A child looked up at you, no, not a child, but he was small enough to be a child. Not a dwarf though. Something completely different. 

“Oh hello there! I’m guessing you have never seen a hobbit before! My name is Pippin, and don’t worry about accidentally running into me, it happens a lot. You look very in distress. What is wrong? Also, I am looking for a friend, so if you happen to see him please let me know.” The hobbit, Pippin babbled. You were a bit overwhelmed from everything you were going through but luckily found the patience to deal with this energetic hobbit. 

“Oh, I am looking for a friend as well, his name is Faramir if you manage to find him. And don’t worry little one, I am just worried for his sake.” You responded back quickly, hoping to move on your way. 

Unfortunately for you, the hobbit had different plans. “Oh yes, I am also looking for Faramir, as well as Gandalf. I saw him being led away, and I heard a mutter about the Steward going insane. I am trying to find him to help. But the trouble is brewing, and the fighting will start soon. I am worried, very worried.” Pippin babbled on as you searched the streets for this Gandalf. 

After a little while, he finally saw who he was looking for. He explained quickly what was going on and why he needed to check on Faramir. 

“Faramir is alive but Denethor wants to burn him. He thinks he's dead. ” Pippin spoke hurriedly, already rushing Gandalf along. 

You gasped. “You did not tell me that Denethor was trying to burn him! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Pippin looked confused. “I didn’t tell you? I could have sworn I did.”

You shook your head, your heart racing even faster than it had been before. To make things even worse, you could hear the sounds of battle. The city had finally been breached. Luckily you were far up enough that the orcs hadn’t reached you...yet. Gandalf was farther ahead of you, and you quickened your strides to match his. He turned and looked at you, his eyes piercing yours. You had the strangest feeling that your mind was being invaded. 

“Patience child. We will stop that lunatic before anything happens. He will be alright.” He turned away again as if he hadn’t said a word. You gaped, it was as if he knew exactly what you were thinking. He seemed familiar, but you didn’t know why. But alas, it did not matter at this moment, and you refocused your mind back on who you were trying to save. Faramir. 

As you hurried along, you tried your hardest to remember. His smile. The dimples on his cheeks. How much fun you two had together. Running through the markets when you were younger, causing trouble, but laughing all the way. How he would be publicly humiliated by his father. How you would be there for him, comfort him, make him happier. The hidden smiles in the throne room, the silent laughter, and inside jokes.

You were quickly brought back to the present as some stone shattered right behind you, showering big chunks of rock. You ducked quickly and grabbed the hobbit, making him run faster. You had to get out of there. Gandalf showed you two through a small alley, and all too soon you had arrived at the top. But Faramir and Denethor were nowhere to be seen. Somehow, Gandalf knew exactly where they were, and took you to a smaller room, that was barricaded. He slammed open the doors as if it were nothing, and you ran right into a horrifying scene. 

Denethor was standing on top of a pile of wood, and Faramir lay at his feet, both drenched in oil. Some soldiers had torches in their hands, and some looked hesitant. Everything drained away, all sound was muffled. All you could see was Faramir, and it was as if he knew you there. He rustled slightly and looked straight at you. His lips moved wordlessly, and you couldn’t move, an invisible force stopping you. 

A scream and then fire engulfed the wood, Faramir was taken from your view. Your feet finally decided to start moving, and both you and Pippin ran towards the pyre, grabbing Faramir before the flames could engulf him. Another screech and then you realized that Denethor had been taken by the flames. He ran off to who knows where, and the guards left quickly, helping to aid in the battle. 

It was soon just you, Faramir, Pippin, and Gandalf. Faramir’s eyes were closed, but his heart was still beating. You cradled his head in your lap, softly brushing his hair out of his face. 

“Gandalf, will he be alright?” You asked tentatively, not daring to even look away from Faramir. 

Gandalf sighed. “With time he will heal. But whether he will heal from the pain in his heart is unclear to me. He has been through far too much, as most have in such times, and for your sake, I hope he perseveres.”

You and Gandalf helped Faramir up, who at this point was able to open his eyes slightly. You both brought him to his room, as the medical wing was a greater distance. Pippin trailed behind like a lost puppy. The poor hobbit had probably never seen such violence in his life. You laid him in his bed, and Gandalf bid a quick goodbye, herding Pippin out. 

It was just you and Faramir. You knelt at his bedside and grasped his hand, waiting, hoping, for anything. More memories ran through your mind. He taught you how to use a sword, to protect yourself if need be. And then on your birthday, he had gotten you a sword of your own, beautifully crafted, and balanced perfectly. It was quite a gift to receive, and you protested, but to no avail. It was in your room, hidden so that no one could take it. You remembered how your hands tingled when he gave it to you, just the slightest brush of fingers. But you were young and naive. 

He stirred, and his eyes opened, looking at the ceiling. Then he tilted his head towards you and looked down at your intertwined hands. You stopped breathing for a second, nervous that you might have overstepped your bounds. 

“I am still alive. What happened with my father? I remember the smell of smoke.” Faramir’s voice was raspy still, and quiet.

You looked away, trying to figure out what to tell him. You were the bearer of bad news this time it seemed. “Your father thought you dead and was going to have you burned. I showed up with Gandalf and Pippin only moments before it was to happen. ”

He groaned and turned away. But he held on tighter to your hand, as if you were his lifeline, the one last thing keeping him there with you. “Faramir,” you said hesitantly, “I-I was so afraid of losing you. I never want to lose you again. I-” You broke off, too afraid to say what was on your mind. He was looking right at you, the ghost of a smile on his face. “Continue, please,” he said. He reached his other hand across his body, softly grazing your arm. 

You smiled slightly, taking in a shaky breath. “I love you Faramir. And I have for a long time. I am not creative enough to give a whole speech about my love for you, but my love for you is worthy of a speech if needed.”

Faramir smiled, the brightest you had ever seen it. “I love you too my dear, more than anything, and I am so sorry I never said anything before. Please forgive me.”

Then he slowly reached his hand up to your face, and you leaned towards him. But you went a bit too fast, and accidentally slammed your nose onto his, causing you both to cry out in pain. You felt like you were going to cry, you ruined the special moment. But then he smiled and started laughing so hard. You were so embarrassed, but you also started chuckling. 

In between breaths, Faramir choked out, “Clearly, neither of us have done this.”

You nodded, keeping back a grin.

He cracked a smile, trying to hold in his laughter. But then he sobered up. “Well, I think we should try that again. Help me sit up?”

You felt even more butterflies in your stomach as you propped up a pillow for him and helped him up. You leaned back to make sure he was comfortable, but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. You laughed again, and he smiled. He traced a finger up your arm and all the way up to the back of your neck. He leaned in first, making an emphasis on how slow he was moving, but you were too nervous to laugh. Softly, he pressed his lips against yours. You barely moved, not daring to. But you slowly melted as he moved his other hand to the small of your back. You moved your hands, knotting them in his hair, pulling you even closer together. His lips molded against yours, slightly chapped, making you shiver. Ever so slowly, he began to pull away, much to your dismay. But he still held you in arms. 

Slowly, you whispered, “We should have done that sooner.” 

Faramir nodded and pulled you closer. “Thank you,” he whispered back, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 

[poeticandors]

You Are The Reason

Cassian Andor x Reader

Word count: 13.6K (my longest one shot EVER sorry guys I hate myself)

Summary: You have known Cassian for what seems like your entire life, and you have loved him almost just as long (without him knowing of course). What happens when a member of the Rebellion approaches you and tells you that he has just gone missing? How far would you go to protect and save the one person you care about more than yourself? And what does this mean for you and Cassian after? 

Warnings: NSFW 18+, graphic depictions of torture (beatings and knife TW), smut BUT THEN FLUFF AT THE END 

A/N: Inspired by a few requests that we from so long ago, thank you for the two anons and @fanfiction461 for bearing with me I am so sorry it took this long I have been wanting to write this for so long but I just couldn’t until now. 

I also just want to thank @spectre-leader​ @firefeatherx​ @jesus-buck​ @woakiees​ @damndamer0n​ @damerondjarin​ and @tintinwrites​ for listening to my rambling, helping me with this fic, and encouraging me to publish this and for entertaining me with their reactions. I really appreciate you all.  And I want to thank all my readers who have been patient with me throughout this ordeal, now it’s time to get back to my other fics lol. 

GIF by @jynandor​

The smell of various foods being cooked and the chatter of merchants trying hard to sell their merchandise to the dwellers walking around surrounded you. Were you hungry? Sure, and the delicious smells weren’t helping. But you had no time to stop. 

Looking over your shoulder, you pulled your bag up higher as you continued to be unnoticeable during your walk through the crowd. It was second nature to you, trying to appear as a member of the crowd when in reality, you were capable of taking out any one of them who came up to you. 

But that’s not what you wanted. You just wanted to make it back to your room at the inn you kept for yourself— frequent payments going to the innkeeper to ensure that no one ever takes your room. Bouncing between worlds was what you normally did; getting any information you could that you knew would be useful against the Empire. But this was the one place you might even consider home.

Finally making it to the inn, you immediately knew something was off once you reached your room. The small trace of mud right in front of your door caught your eye, and you could smell the faint scent of a cigarra leading into your room. The innkeeper knew enough not to ever bother you, and you knew for a fact they didn’t take up a smoking habit.

Has someone come after you? 

The hair stood on the back of your neck— you were on high alert now. Keeping your hand on your blaster at your hip, you slowly open the door, and step inside. Scanning the room, you caught sight of a shadow lurking in the corner, and whip out your blaster. The figure moves, and you aim directly at them as they speak.

“Take it easy—”

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” 

The figure— a man— slowly emerges into the light, hands raised out in surrender as you keep your blaster raised on them. The light from outside flashes a streak across his face, but you still don’t recognize him. You keep your back foot planted, in case you need to make a run for it as he steps closer. 

“So, Nova wasn’t code for any hidden information. It was the name of a person.”

The name set something off in you. There was only one person who called you that— and the last time you saw him was days ago. 

Nova.

You didn’t even know where the name came from. Instead of your real name, he’d begun to refer to you as Nova. 

Why do you call me that? 

I don’t know, he shrugged. It suits you.

So the fact that this guy happened to know this specific name meant something was wrong. And if something was wrong, you had to get out of there immediately.

Just as you go to turn, the man reaches for his blaster.

“Don’t try to run.”

Your grip tightens around your own, but you notice that he doesn’t even pull his blaster from the holster. “Why shouldn’t I?”

“Because we would just find you all over again, and I really don’t want to spend the next few moments chasing after you.” 

You stare at him, not moving as he lowers his hand from his side. The fact that he not once even removed his weapon befuddled you. If he was after you, wouldn’t he have threatened you or tried to attack you by now? 

“...Who are you?” 

“That’s not important.” He answers and you scoff. “Now, are you going to lower that?”

“Not until you tell me why you’re here.” 

The man sighs and steps closer into the light, in which you finally take notice of his jacket. Standard military, on his shoulder sits a patch the same color as his jacket as if to hide some type of insignia. You recognize that type of tactic instantly and it finally hits you.

“Are you from the Rebellion?” You ask, watching as the corner of his mouth twitches up. 

“You’re a good observer. I can see now why Andor—”

“Cassian Andor?” You speak quickly, the slight panic evident in your tone. Cassian would have scolded you for that, for sure. 

Don’t give any indication— even the slightest hint of panic or lack of comfort, he told you many times.They will use that against you.  

But he wasn’t here to reprimand you. 

When the man nods after you speak you step deeper into the room, but slowly begin sidestepping as you keep your blaster up. There was no room for more mistakes here, you had near to perfect aim, so if this guy tried anything funny he wouldn’t even make it close to you. And you didn’t even have to worry about anyone else because from what you’ve observed, he was the only one here. There were no sideways glances or movements to indicate he was communicating with anyone other than you. You made sure to pay close attention to each and every movement after spotting him.

At least that Cassian would have praised you on. 

“What… what’s happened to him?” 

“Captain Andor was recently sent undercover to extract some needed information from a weapons dealer. While he was successful in gathering that information, his comm was disconnected before he was able to make it to his ship. We have reason to believe that he’s been captured.” 

Captured? The word played on a constant loop in your mind. You could hardly believe what you were told. Cassian… was captured? 

The last time you saw Cassian, it was just days ago. He came to visit you, like he often would. You two were close, always have been since you were young. While you weren’t a member of the Rebellion like he was, you still managed to get information that was circling around— information you knew you or the Rebellion could use against the Empire. You were his best informant, and possibly his best friend. You were the only one to know everything about him, and the only one he let his walls down with. He wasn’t like that with anyone else— he did not trust easily. But with you, for some reason it was different. 

And it’s also why you couldn’t be honest about your true feelings. He was the only person to know every single detail about you. The only one you trusted, and he was the closest thing to a normal life you had. You had fallen hard into a ditch you couldn’t climb out of, one filled with nothing but longing. 

A longing for someone whose entire life revolves around his job— the Rebellion. He did not have time for relationships, everything was strictly for the Rebellion, always. You could not risk losing him, the only person that made this type of life worth living, over your silly feelings. 

But he never brought up this mission with you. Was he afraid to ask you? It didn’t make sense, you would always accept when he asked you to be his backup. Would it have even made a difference if you went with him? 

“...How do you know about me?” You question, loosening your finger on the trigger, but still aim directly for his heart. 

“We didn’t. But he left some messages for his droid. One was to ‘Find Nova’.” He steps towards you cautiously. “We thought it was code for something else, maybe some information he managed to get. We didn’t know it meant… you.” 

At least you know he never put you in a position where you would be known. But the fact that he told the Rebellion to look for you must have meant he was in deep bantha fodder. Finally, you lower your blaster— not daring to loosen your grip. 

“What do you need?” 

“Well, obviously Captain Andor seems to think you’d be of use in retrieving him. We’ve already tracked his last location, we just need someone capable of handling it.” 

“And you want to send me?”

“Well, he did give us your name. And from where I’m standing, it seems he’s kept you hidden for quite some time now. Why give us your location? Why send us to you if he didn’t think you were capable enough to retrieve him?” 

That was the real question, wasn’t it? Cassian trusted you with his life, did he really trust you enough to know you would be the only one to get him out of whatever trouble he was in?

Sure, you were tactful, good with a blaster, and were capable of defending yourself— all the skills taught to you by Cassian himself. He had trained you how to be observant of your surroundings, to look for ticks people can give off depending on the situation. Even taught you how to prepare quickly in case you needed to run. Sometimes he would not tell you he was stopping by, and would surprise you with a scenario where you would have to defend yourself from him. 

What you thought meaningless tests, he reminded you of the type of world you lived in. And being tied to him would have repercussions. If anyone knew about you, that would put you in some deep trouble.

You stare up at the man as he steps closer to you. “What does Captain Andor think you have that could save him?”

Then it hit you: all the information you seemed to pick up about the Empire and the Rebellion. Cassian had to have known that whoever captured him would love whatever information you had. So that had to be the only reason he wanted the Rebellion to find you. 

The only way to get Cassian back was to trade yourself for him. You did not care much what would happen to you. And you would be damned if you let anything happen to him. 

++++++

It took some time, but you were finally able to make it to the planet where Cassian’s signal had gone dead. From the information you were given, there was a gang residing there that was known for causing trouble around the town. As you roamed around the town, you managed to catch word that it was that specific gang who captured a man. 

They were not sympathizers for either the Rebellion or the Empire, so it would make sense that they found out who Cassian was and decided to take him for the hell of it. 

You hope he was still alive. If he was, then the fact that you had information on both the sides could be useful enough for a trade. 

As you take a sip of your jet juice, your eyes roam along the cantina you made it to. At the bar, you spotted a few members of said gang taking shots and laughing at their own jokes. You figured the easiest way to get taken to their hideout was just to let them capture you, so you had a moment to think of just how to do so. 

Grabbing your drink, you loosen up one of the buttons on your front shirt before making your way over. One of the men pushes away from the bar, and you take your chance to roughly bump into his shoulder. 

The man turns, and you pretend to sway as if plastered. He raises his brow down at you and you scoff.

“Watch where you’re going, bantha fodder,” you slur, and the man is quick to grab hold of your arm. You grit your teeth, looking up at him.

“Hey—“

“Sure you don’t want to apologize for that, sweetness?”

“Apologize? For what? You were the one in my way.” 

His grip tightens around your arm as you challenge him. “Feisty one, eh? You could be a lot of fun.”

You yank your arm away, glaring up at him. “Don’t you know it’s rude to grab a lady?”

In an instant, you throw the remainder of your jet juice in his face, and toss the cup to the ground. A few of his men stand up, but he raises his hand— stopping them. 

“No need to fuss,” he grins smugly, wiping his cheeks. “Seems like she was just headed out, anyways. Isn’t that right, sweetness?” 

“Yeah, I was,” you sneer, before finally turning in your heel and leaving the cantina. 

If these guys were as bad as you had heard, then they would be after you in mere minutes. As you turn down an alleyway, you stay aware of your surroundings— Cassian would’ve praised you on that. From the corner of your eye, you spot movement, but feign obliviousness as you continue walking in the dark. 

It was quick— just like you knew it would be. A hand covers your mouth and pushes you against the brick wall, your cries muffled as your cheek scrapes along the stone. A body presses up against you, and you feel the hot breath of your assailant fan against your ear as they lean close. 

“Can’t use that mouth of yours now, huh sweetness?” The man from earlier asks. You struggle against him, feeling movement behind you. 

You were prepared, you thought of the various scenarios that would happen when they made their way to capture you. But it still caught you by surprise when you felt the prick in your neck and the warm fluid rushing now through your veins. 

Instinctively, you try fighting the sleep, but you could already feel your body falling slack into the man’s arms. Before darkness takes over, you’re sure that you saw a flash of Cassian’s face, and can only relax. 

++++++

A faint voice is heard— and though it sounds as if it’s far away, you know better. You feel a few small pats against your cheek, and you can’t help the way your head tilts to the side although you try so hard to remember just how your muscles work. 

The musty smell of wherever you were had your stomach churning, you would not be surprised if at any moment you threw up all the contents in your stomach. It was cold and damp— you were sure they stripped you of your jacket as you suddenly shivered— goosebumps covering your arms. 

Your shoulders were now being shaken violently, and it did not help with the queasiness you were feeling. 

“...-ake up, sweetness,” the voice finally breaks through the hazy fog in your mind. “Come on, that’s it.” 

Wherever the group must’ve taken you had to have been isolated from the rest of the town. Although it might have just been the effects of the drug, you still couldn’t hear much of the commotion that you had when you walked through the town, so either you were underground or on the outskirts of town. 

You can only manage a small groan, the very thought of even trying to articulate words or even trying to deal with the dryness of your mouth is a difficult task for you. It feels like small weights are tied to your eyelids; you try so hard to open them when you feel hands grab your arms to pull you up. A deep chuckle is heard— amused at your inebriated state. 

“Bix, go fetch this sweet girl some water.” 

There is a grunt in response, you suspect from Bix, and suddenly you feel a hand clamp onto your chin. This is when you use everything you can to open your eyes, and although all you can make out is a blurry figure it is enough. 

“There she is,” he grins, his fingernails scratching against your skin. You try pulling away, but he keeps a firm grip. “You know, I have a lot of fun planned for you.”

“Here’s the water, Terek.” 

The man— Terek— takes the canteen from Bix, and spins the cap off with his free hand. He pushes it to your lips, and you practically guzzle it down like you had been stranded in the deserts of Tatooine for days. But as soon as he had given it to you, he pulled the canteen away, and all you could do was watch helplessly as he poured the rest on the ground. 

“Now,” he tsks. “I think we’re ready to have a little fun, don’t you?” 

No, no, no, you think as he stands up. You need to tell them why you’re there. Why you wanted to get caught, who you needed to see...

Cassian.

He was here in the same place as you. You were so close to him. If only you could fucking find the words to speak or move your body the way it needs to.

As Terek walks up to you, you slowly begin to mumble. He smirks, kneeling in front of you.

“You trying to say something, sweetness?” 

“...W-Wai… wait,” you finally manage to breathe out, and it feels so good to have at least a small ounce of control despite the drug flowing through your system. 

“Wait?” He chuckles. “What do you expect me to wait for—“

“I… You have s-something— someone I need,” you slur, pushing yourself up. 

“Oh? Is that so?” 

You nod, slowly gaining more control over your movements. “A… rebel.” 

Terek’s brow raises, and he sits for a moment as if processing everything, before he gives you a sly smile that sends a shiver along your spine. You try not to show your discomfort, Cassian’s familiar words ringing through your ears. 

Don’t give any indication— even the slightest hint of panic or lack of comfort. They will use that against you. 

When Terek speaks, the tone of his voice is teasing— almost sing-songy. 

“Ah, I see now. It was all a ruse, wasn’t it?” He traces a finger along your cheek, but this time you’re able to pull away. “Bumping into me at the cantina, letting us follow you along down the alleyway. All part of your little plan.” 

Terek stands up, snickering as he looks down at you. 

“You know, I actually feel flattered. I mean you took the time to find out about us, planned out a way to piss me off, and therefore decided to put yourself in this situation just to get to that man.” 

He walks over to a small table, grabbing an item but you can’t quite make it out as he shoves it into his pocket. As he turns back to you, he grins.

“But there is one thing that is just picking at my brain. What could you possibly have that I could use instead of my rebel friend, hmm?” 

He lifts your chin up with his dirty finger, and you try hard to focus on him. 

“In...information,” you pull your head back from him, swaying a bit. “I can give you… any information.”

“What makes you think I am incapable of getting information, sweet girl?” 

“Because… I can give you information about the Alliance and the Empire. You won’t… won’t have to get it from anyone else. You have me,” you mutter. “Just… let him go.”

Terek watches you, before he turns and barks orders at his men in another dialect. A few of them leave, while two others make their way to you. To no avail, you try crawling away only for them to yank you up by your arms. 

Your legs felt as if they were made up of Andorian jello, how they shook when they pulled you to stand upright. If you were to stand up with no assistance, you would have only fell back to the ground. You struggle to find your footing as they walk you up to Terek, who smirks down at you. 

“Time for some fun.” 

++++++

You were dragged along to another room, one in a similar grotesque state as the previous one. The men pulling you along paid no mind to your frail state, and you were sure if they continued moving you the way they did that you were going to vomit. 

There was no way of knowing what was going to happen. Terek hasn’t so much as looked back at you the entire walk through their hideout. All you knew was that Terek seemed giddy— there was a slight spring in his step in a cruel way. 

“Wakey, wakey!” Terek chimes, and you are brought to a halt behind him. He wasn’t talking to you, though. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. I came bearing a gift. One I think you’ll enjoy very much.” 

As soon as Terek steps to the side, you’re shoved down to the floor. You stay lying flat on the floor for a moment, your mind spinning. Placing your palms out on the floor, you struggle to lift yourself up. 

“Nova…” The faint whisper of the name has your heart catching in your throat. You’d recognize that voice anywhere.

Suddenly, you hear the sound of someone struggling followed with a loud thwap. Looking up, you see one of Terek’s men bring their blaster back as they step out of your line of view. Now you are staring as Cassian tries to recover from the blow, shaking his head until he locks eyes with you. Two men continue to hold him as they restrain his wrists together behind his back before pushing him to his knees.

While you are relieved to see Cassian, the queasiness in your stomach is now from the realization of the situation setting in. You take a moment to just look at him. There are a few bruises on his face, paired with small scratches and dried blood. He looked exhausted.

“Aw, look at that,” Terek chuckles. “A wonderful reunion! You know, I thought today wasn’t going to be eventful at all but...”

He walks past you and over to Cassian, grabbing his chin roughly. “Did you know that that woman over there wanted to be captured? She was offering to trade herself just to get to you, I mean… she must really care about you, huh?”

Terek practically throws Cassian’s face to the side before spinning on his heel, smiling down at you. “Isn’t that right, sweetness?” 

You keep your eyes on Cassian, his jaw tense as he glares up at Terek. Cassian’s eyes then move to you, his gaze slightly softening. All you wanted to do in that moment was rush over to him— to embrace him, to help him, to protect him— but you couldn’t even move properly. 

Terek takes a moment, exchanging glances between you both before his expression brightens in an evil way. 

“Oh, oh… I see what’s going on here!” He laughs, pointing between the two of you. “How did I not see it!” 

Terek claps his hands together, before striding over to you, bending down in front of you. He blocks your view of Cassian and grabs your face with one hand, squeezing your cheeks tight as he forces you to look up at him.

“You love him, don’t you?”

Your eyes widen but you don’t respond, trying to keep your emotions in check. He looks over his shoulder back to Cassian, but you can’t see his reaction. When he looks back down at you, he tenderly brushes his thumb against your cheek. 

Suddenly, he reels the same hand back and you don’t even process what happens because in the blink of an eye you topple back down to the floor, a searing hot pain across your cheek. Your mind is in a flurry— the mix of being slapped hard and the effects from the drug has you struggling hard to focus. 

You hear Cassian grunting and another hard hit from a blaster as you shake your head. Terek is now hovering behind you and pulls you up by the collar of your shirt, his nose brushing into your hair as he leans down.

“Answer me when I ask you a question, sweet girl,” Terek sneers into your ear, his entire demeanor changing. Letting out a soft whimper, you close your eyes as he releases your shirt and you fall back to the ground.

“Oh, you do,” his tone changes back, and he chuckles. “That’s why you went through all that trouble.” 

Terek kneels back down next to you as he pushes your hair out of your face, feigning pity as he caresses the same spot he slapped you. 

“Does he know?” He whispers. ”Please tell me he doesn’t because that just makes things a little more interesting.” 

You dare not answer again, waiting for another slap as he pulls his hand back but you don’t feel any contact. 

Instead, he lifts you up by your arm, practically dragging you across the floor as you can’t manage to find the strength to lift your legs up. Then, he drops you to the floor only for a moment so he can get behind you and lift you up so you are now sitting up, resting against his chest. Terek holds your head up by wrapping his arm across your neck. 

Cassian is directly in front of you, inhaling sharply through his nose. You are forced to look at him, feeling helpless and despicable as Terek holds you up. 

“Now, we’re going to play a game. For your sakes, I hope you both participate,” he chuckles into your ear. 

Cassian stares down Terek, and if looks could kill you knew he would be dead in an instant if it were up to Cassian. 

“Okay, sweetness, I want you to tell me the truth. Do you love him?” 

Your breath hitches, and all you can do is look at Cassian with a mix of panic and remorse. This is not how you wanted to admit your feelings. Hell, you didn’t even plan on facing them at all.

Although you know it’s all a game for Terek— a harsh, cruel game— it’s torture for you, and he knows it. How could you answer him? How could you possibly look Cassian in the eye and admit your true feelings?

So you stare. You stare and try to read the look in Cassian’s eyes, but you can’t. All those times Cassian had you work on analyzing people’s emotions, but you could not read his own at this moment. 

“Don’t make me ask you again,” Terek growls deeply against your ear. “Do you love him?” 

And you still can’t bring yourself to answer, instead you look to the ground, trying hard to bite back tears. 

“Alright, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

You look up as soon as the first punch is thrown, eyes wide with terror as Cassian’s head falls to the side. As soon as he lifts his head back up, another punch is thrown. Then another. And then another. The pain of just watching was unbearable— it was as if you were getting hit alongside him. 

“Stop!” You finally shout, struggling in Terek’s hold. “Don’t hit him!” 

Terek’s men pay no mind to you, and this time you watch as Cassian takes a blow to the stomach, hunching over until he is pulled back. 

“You know what you have to say, sweet girl.”

Cassian’s eyes meet yours, and you begin sobbing, silently begging them to spare him— to spare him from the physical pain he was subjected to as well as to spare him from having to hear you admit your feelings. 

“I’m sorry,” you start to let your head drop down. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”

“No, no, no,” Terek quickly grabs your chin, forcing you to lift your head to watch as Cassian gets punched in the ribs. You are screaming now, but Terek’s voice still manages to break through. “You know what you have to say. Don’t start apologizing now—”

“—I’m so sorry, Cassian—”

“—This could have been dealt with easily,” he continues to say over your screams. “All you had to do was—”

“Okay!” You shout and Terek holds one hand up. 

Cassian groans out in pain, as Terek’s men step away. Each breath he takes seems just a struggle for him, and all you can do is sob at the state he is in. 

“Aw, don’t cry. Don’t cry, Shh...” Terek presses his cheek to yours. “Now, I will give you one more chance to answer: do you love him?”

Looking up with tear-filled eyes, you watch as Cassian slowly lifts his head up. The sight of fresh blood upon his face churns your stomach— you don’t want him to have to suffer anymore. Fixing him with an apologetic look, you swallow thickly.

“It’s true…” You whisper, only for your voice to rise just a bit. “It’s true,  I do love you, Cassian. I always have… I’m sorry…”

Cassian’s expression is light and you thought for a split moment that there was a bit of hope in his eyes. But then he closes his eyes, and that one movement seems to shatter everything inside of you.  

How did you expect for him to look? Relieved? No, of course he wouldn’t. Because although Cassian did care for you, it did not mean that he would reciprocate your feelings and suddenly love you as well.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Terek hums, looking down at you. Your head drops, and you watch as the tears from a small, barely there puddle on the floor. “Or was it?” 

Terek gasps playfully. “Oh, no… you’ve been keeping this to yourself, haven’t you?” 

You squeeze your eyes shut— you hope that if you do all of this goes away: Terek, the torture… the look on Cassian’s face. 

“Oh… I wonder just how long you’ve kept this for yourself, sweet thing,” Terek clicks his tongue. “Must’ve been pretty lonely, craving a man who didn’t even know the true extent of your feelings.” 

He lifts your chin up, gripping it tightly as you keep your eyes closed. “Let’s see how he feels about all this.”

He begins brushing the tears off of your cheek. You flinch from his touch and he chuckles. “My, my… isn’t she beautiful? Even after crying?” 

He turns to Cassian, who glowers at Terek as he continues to drag his thumb down your cheek. He does not even look at you. 

“Do you want to fuck her, Cassian?” 

The way Terek says his name fills you with such disgust. You were such an idiot. You did not mean to say his name, it just came out. If you weren’t in the situation you were in now, Cassian sure would have given you a piece of his mind right now.

Cassian’s entire body becomes tense, and while you have seen him angry before, the look he gives Terek causes you to shiver. 

“I mean, with a face like hers,” Terek squeezes your cheeks. “How could you not want to stare down at her while you fuck her hard and rough? Oh, I bet she makes the sweetest sounds.”

But Cassian continues to stare straight ahead, not flicking his eyes over to you once. Your heart aches— the fact that Cassian can’t even bring himself to look at you hurts you in the worst possible way. 

When Terek releases your cheeks, you are relieved. Until he grips your hair tightly and yanks it back. A slight whimper escapes you and Terek chuckles deeply, trailing a finger along your exposed throat. “See? Oh, Maker. You could definitely have the time of your life getting the best sounds out of this one.”

You are sure he’s ripped some strands of hair based on the stinging pain of your scalp. All you can do is stare at the ceiling, feeling Terek’s disgusting warm breath against your neck as he continues to taunt Cassian.

“If you want, I can give you both a few minutes of alone time. We won’t even peek… much.”

A string of chuckles are heard, but then it is soon followed by the sound of someone grunting and scuffles. You manage to look down, only to catch a glimpse of Cassian now being shoved onto the ground while another man covers his face, blood gushing through his fingers. 

“Oh, seems that we might have struck a nerve. Which makes me wonder…”

Terek suddenly pushes you to the floor, and you feel as if you can finally breathe freely. It felt as if he had been holding you up for hours, you did not even realize that the drug was slowly fading away from your body. You were able to push yourself up just barely— enough to watch as Terek makes his way over to Cassian who is now being pulled back up by two men.

Cassian still does not turn to face you, instead watches as Terek leans down close to him. Although you can’t see his face, the picture of him grinning smugly at Cassian is clear in your mind simply from the tone in his voice. 

“You don’t just want to fuck her, right? You love her too, don’t you?” 

The tension in the room was palpable— a least to you. Everyone else just seemed eager to hear just what Cassian had to say. 

Not you. 

You were not ready to hear what he had to say in response to that question— especially after you had just admitted your feelings to him. But then it dawns on you.

He doesn’t feel the same way. 

Which, of course he doesn’t. How could he? More importantly, why would he? 

There was not anything special about you. All you knew how to do was sneak around and trade around information. Cassian could easily find someone to replace you. 

All the times you thought that there could be a chance with him— all the memories that flood your mind of the possible maybe you thought at the moment that he cared for you as you had for him— wither away. 

Another minute goes by and Cassian still does not answer. Terek lets out a sigh, and you quickly look to the floor as he begins to make his way back to you. 

“I told you both, but it seems that you are just as equally stubborn.” You feel a pair of hands lift you up by your arms, and suddenly you are back to facing Terek, who stops in front of you. He shakes his head, putting on a mock pout. “I’m so sorry about this, sweet girl.” 

The slap is hard and fast across your cheek, just like the first time moments ago. You hear Cassian yelling something that you do not catch, but Terek does not let up. Another hard slap hits your opposite cheek, and you can’t help it as your vision swirls while your head falls to the side. 

Even as you are indisposed, Terek hits you again. This time, his fist is closed and connects hard with your jaw. Instead of keeping you up, Terek’s men let you fall to the ground and you feel Terek’s hard boot connect with your abdomen, knocking the air clear out of you. Cassian must have said something, because Terek halts the next blow to turn to him. 

“Is there something you’d like to say?” He asks, palms splayed open. “This can all stop.” 

Despite the dizziness and aching pain in your torso, you manage to barely lift your head off the ground. Your vision sets, and you are able to see Cassian as his face twists in anger. 

But when his gaze flicks down to you, his features soften— his eyes apologetic and begging for forgiveness. His eyes do not leave yours this time, staring deep into them. 

“Nova…” You do not expect him to speak, and you definitely do not expect him to continue to do so in Festian. 

Cassian had taught you a few basic phrases here and there when you asked. But, there were times where he would randomly speak to you in Festian without translating. There was particularly one phrase that he would always tell you, and no matter how many times you bugged him about it, he would just simply smile and say the same thing after. 

I’ll tell you another time. 

So it caught your attention when you heard him speak that same phrase to you with a different look in his eyes.

“Oh, now you’re not playing fair,” Terek waves a finger at Cassian, before glancing over to you. “Well, if that’s how you want to play it…” 

Terek stalks towards you, like a hungry nexu on it’s way to pounce on its prey. Your eyes move down to his hand as he reaches down to his side, and when you see light reflecting from the blade, your throat tightens. Trying to crawl away from him with no avail, Terek easily lifts you up by your hair, and drags you along the floor back towards Cassian.

At this point, your heartbeat rings in your ears— you can barely hear Cassian yelling as you are brought in front of him with the blade now lined up with your throat. Terek presses up the blade against your skin, and you try everything in your power not to move. 

Balling your fists up— trying to still the trembling throughout your body— you don’t even realize that you’re crying until Terek reaches up and wipes a tear away. 

“Now, since you don’t like to play by the rules, I’m proposing a new game,” Terek articulates each word as sharp as the knife in his hand. He grips tightly onto your hair, and you don’t hold back the cry as he does so. 

Cassian’s eyes widen at the sight of the knife, and he tries desperately to pull out of the henchmen’s grasp. Terek laughs— a dark and evil sound— at his despair.

“Here's what you’re going to do, Cassian,” Terek sneers. “You’re going to tell our girl here that everything is going to be okay. That she will be okay.”

The tears are falling harder now as you feel the edge of the knife push harder against your skin. Your hands are on Terek’s arm, trying to pull it down, to pull the knife away, but it’s no use. He keeps it in place. 

“I want you to lie to her. Go on, make her believe that she’s going to be okay.”

Cassian stares, his eyes flicking back and forth from the knife against your throat to your tear-filled eyes. You had never seen that level of fear from Cassian before, and it only urged on your own. Closing your eyes, you try to steady your breathing until you hear Cassian’s voice.

“...Nova,” he says, the name so soft— softer than you’d ever heard him say before. “Nova, look at me.”

You hesitate to do so, but slowly open up your eyes to see him. His expression has changed, it is much more calmer than before, as is the tone of his voice. 

“It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay, I promise you.”

He says it so tenderly that you... almost believe him. The gentle regard in his eyes, the quiet, calm tone of his voice.  But you know better. He was trained to do anything in his power to get people to believe him— to believe every little word that comes out of his mouth. 

There is a quiet moment between you both as you stare into each other’s eyes, as if it were just the two of you and there was no Terek or his men in the same room. It takes you back to all those quiet moments you had spent with him when he would visit with you— talking about plans of when the war was over or how you would both change certain aspects of your lives. That sense of comfort and hope fills you, and you find yourself giving him a sad smile as if you do believe him.

“Alright, take him away.”

In an instant, that hope is torn as Cassian is being pulled up to his feet, and you immediately fear the worst.

“No!” You scream, trying to pull out of Terek’s grasp, but he only pushes the knife harder against your neck. You ignore the sting of the blade as it barely pierces through the top layer of your skin as they drag Cassian away. 

At this point, you are not scared of the knife anymore. You are scared— no, you are terrified of what they are going to do to Cassian. 

“Ah, ah, ahh….” Terek hums, leaning close to you. “You’re going to stay with me and play a little longer, sweet girl.” 

Cassian calls out your name and tries hard to yank himself away, his eyes still glued on yours. The room fills with your sobs and Cassian’s voice as he continues shouting the entire time, until his shouts fade away the further they take him. 

When you can no longer hear his voice, a part of you feels empty. It’s almost as if your heart was ripped out of your chest and dragged away with Cassian as they took him out of the room. Was this going to be the last time you saw Cassian? Was the last thing you said to him going to be you admitting your love for him?

Did he even believe you when you did? Or did he just think that it was all to get them to stop hurting him? 

The next thing you knew, you were being pushed onto the floor and flipped over onto your back. As you kick and squirm and scream, Terek straddles you, making it hard for you to try and get away. He grabs your wrists and pins them above your head as you sob, before holding them down with one hand and bringing the knife back up. 

Terek starts to drag it just barely along your cheek, and you automatically freeze out of reflex. He grins— an evil image that will be etched in your mind until he is finished with you. 

“Who knew rebels could fall in love, hm?”

Closing your eyes, you feel the knife continue to move along every inch of your face in a tantalizing way. The end of the knife pricks into your cheek, and you feel a drop of blood slide down your cheek along with your tears. You did not even realize you were holding in a breath until you felt him lean down. 

“Now that we’re alone, what do you say we have some real fun, hm?” 

This was not how you wanted it to end. You did not want to die at the hands of some gang leader, but all the training you went through, all the escape tactics Cassian taught you, was simply nonexistent in your mind at this point. 

All you can do is lie there, feeling helpless and alone. You close your eyes, trying to think of something, or rather someone else as you wait for your untimely demise. 

Imagine your confusion when you hear the shot of a blaster but don’t feel any sense of pain. When you open your eyes, you watch as Terek topples over on top of you. Staying completely still, you wait for him to make another movement only to realize he was not even breathing. 

Before you could take a moment to process everything, his body is being moved off of you, and your eyes are met with Cassian’s. 

“Cassian,” you breathe out his name softly— he was okay. He was alive and breathing. He was right there in front of you, close enough for you to touch. They managed to get to him before the worst could happen. And you were so relieved.

Just as you go to reach up for him, a pair of hands slide underneath your arms to lift you up. Looking up, you see the Rebel, Melshi as you remembered from his visit, helping you stand. Instinctively, you clutch onto him, not wanting to be pulled away from the first sense of safety you found since getting in this mess. 

“You’re okay,” he says as he lets you hold onto him. 

“Took you guys long enough,” you mutter, reaching into a secret pocket in your pants and placing the tracker in his hand.

“Sorry, had trouble with his other men stationed outside.”

You nod simply, before you glance over at Cassian, who watches you closely as you continue to hold onto Melshi. Your heart races as he takes one step forward, his mouth opening as if he wants to tell you something. 

He doesn’t say anything.

Instead, he presses his lips together in a thin line and nods up at Melshi, before turning back and talking to another Rebel. 

You didn’t understand. There wasn’t anything he had to say to you? He didn’t want to talk about what happened? Did you really ruin things from your confession? 

The lump in your throat grows, but you hold back your tears. You could not display your true emotions— you did not want Cassian to see the hurt. 

“Come on,” Melshi‘s voice pulls you from your thoughts, leading you out of that terrible room. You still clutch onto him, trying not to take notice of all the bodies as he takes you to the transport.

++++++

You followed Cassian’s own advice— put up your own walls to hide your feelings. The entire flight back, you sat quiet as Melshi placed bacta patches on your visible injuries before leaving you be. Cassian had made his way to the front of the ship, glancing at you every now and then as he took care of his own injuries. 

It did not surprise you that he still had not made any effort to talk with you, though with every gaze thrown your way it sure seemed like he wanted to. You were confused, so to say, but you remained impassive. 

Maybe Cassian not talking to you was the best thing to happen. Maybe Cassian was not meant to be in your life forever. Hell, with the lives you both live how could you think romance was on the table? 

Maybe it was for the best. Maybe you could easily get over this and focus on yourself and what you could do next. 

“Hey,” Melshi walks back, handing you a canteen. “We’ll take a look of your injuries when we get to base.”

“I’m fine—“

“You’ve probably got a cracked rib guessing from the way you wince each time you take a breath.”

You do not respond, instead look up at Cassian as he makes his way to the cockpit. He still had not made any attempt to talk to you. 

Melshi sighs. “At least let the doctors take a proper look, and then you can be on your way.”

That catches your attention and you look back to him. “Wait, do you think they’ll let me take a ship?”

He scoffs humorously, shaking his head. “I highly doubt that, but I can get you a ride if you need one.” 

“Can you?”

He nods, “Buddy of mine has to make a stop at the Ring of Kafrene, but I’m sure they would—“

“No, no… that’s perfect for me.” 

Before Melshi can speak, Cassian walks up. Instinctively, you straighten up, as if waiting for him to speak to you directly. 

“... We’ll be landing soon.”

“Yes, Captain,” Melshi stands, moving to grab his equipment while you are left alone with Cassian. 

The anticipation of waiting for him to say something— anything— hung thickly in the air. So much runs through your mind as he stares down at you, and you wonder what kind of thoughts are running through his own. He looks around, before he steps closer, and you see the soft glow in his features, especially his eyes. 

“Are you okay?”

You blink once, then twice, and then a third time. “You’re seriously asking me that?”

You were not quite sure why you answered with that. You did not mean to seem harsh but it was quite obvious you weren’t okay. You knew that. 

Cassian knew that. 

His demeanor changes instantly, and he is back to being the Rebel spy. He shakes his head, his hands moving to his hips. 

“You shouldn’t have been there. They shouldn’t have found you— I… I shouldn’t have given your name to them.” 

“Yeah, but you did,” you mutter softly. “And I was there. I was there to help you, to rescue you.” 

“By trading yourself for me? Why would you think that would work?” 

“I told them I could give them information, he seemed interested—“

“Nova, he didn’t care about the information. Why didn’t you see that earlier?” He snaps. “You should have known that was all a game to him.” 

“Well, I’m sorry I was more worried about finding you and trying to get you out.”

“I had it handled.” 

“That’s not what it looked like to me,” you answer, staring up at him— challenging him. 

The ship shakes as it lands, but Cassian keeps his gaze on you until another Rebel comes up to him. Part of you is thankful, because you knew at any moment you would probably burst into tears. 

As soon as the ramp lowers down, you hastily make your way out of the transport in search of the medbay. The humid air hits your skin, and you can feel the sweat forming on your brow as you make your way through the crowded hangar. With every step a painful jolt shoots up from your side, and you try pressing your palm flat for some added pressure. 

You thought back to that conversation: did Cassian just think you were simply an idiot? Why didn’t you see that earlier? You picture the annoyed look in his eyes, you should have known it was all a game to him. 

And maybe he was right, you should have known from that moment you encountered Terek that he was never going to let you and Cassian go without repercussions. 

But what infuriated you was the fact that all Cassian seemed to think of you was that you were clueless. That you went in simply without thinking and were just being an idiot.

Just as you make your way past a group of pilots, you feel a hand grasp yours, and quickly turn around. Cassian has his back to you as he pulls you along, leading you out of the hangar to a more secluded area. 

As soon as you both are alone, Cassian stops and turns to you with an unreadable look on his face. He still has your hand in his, and doesn’t seem too eager to release it.

“I have to go to the medbay,” you sigh, moving to pull your hand away. Cassian ignores your statement and continues to keep a tight grip on your hand. 

“Nova, what’s going on?”

“We already talked about this—“

“No, there’s more and you’re just not telling me.”

Turning away from him, you try to keep your thoughts exactly that— all you wanted to do was get checked out in the medbay and catch a ride away from this humid, seemingly crowded base. 

But Cassian was not stupid, he could easily read you like a book— you wouldn’t even be surprised if he could even read your thoughts at some times. 

Your jaw tightens, and all you can do is shake your head at him. “I’m sick of this.”

“Sick of what—“

“Sick of you thinking I am just clueless in these situations. That I don’t know what I’m doing— I knew what I was doing the moment I let them take me.” 

He says your name but you don’t relent. You’re angry— angry that he is trying to get out of talking about what happened other than you being there. 

“And I’m sick of you trying to cause a fight over something else rather than talking about the real issue here.”

“And what’s the real issue here?”

“What did you say to me? Back there when Terek…” 

You cut yourself off, unable to finish the sentence before exhaling shakily. “I know that the situation wasn’t… ideal, but what I said was the truth. And it kills me that you had to find out that way, but it’s true. I do love you, Cassian. I always have. But the look on your face after I said it I just…” 

You finally look up at him with pleading eyes. “What did you say when Terek… You’ve said that to me before, and every single time I asked what it meant you never told me. But then out of the blue you say the exact same phrase when Terek was playing his game with us. So just… please. Please, Cassian, be honest with me.”  

Cassian remains silent, and all you can do is stare at him, silently begging him to speak even if it’s to reject you or even if it’s any indication that he does harbor the same feelings you do. You just want him to tell you what he never did all those other moments he spent with you.

He opens his mouth and you all but ready yourself until he looks behind you, his gaze darkening with emotion. When you turn, you spot Melshi jogging up to you, nodding at Cassian before moving his attention to you. 

“Sorry for interrupting, I was just checking to see if you went to the medbay yet.”

“No… not yet.” 

“Okay, well make sure you do and come find me after, okay? I’ll help you out.”

“I will,” you smile softly. “Thank you, Melshi.” 

“Of course,” he turns to Cassian. “General Draven is looking for you, Captain.”

“I’ll be there shortly,” Cassian answers, stiffly. You take note of his tone, glancing over at him. Melshi doesn’t seem to catch it, instead salutes him before giving you a nod and walking off. 

“So, you’re friendly with Melshi now?” 

A flicker of irritation flashes through you— he was not being serious, was he? Was he just trying to say anything to get out of this conversation? You can only scoff at his words. 

“So now you’re just trying to start another fight? Is that it?”

Cassian’s previously hardened gaze eases, and he moves to reply but you are too fired up to let him speak. 

“I just don’t understand you, Cassian. You say or do one thing and then the next you’re back to being this…” you wave your hands out at him. “And I’m just— I’m sick of it!” 

“Nova—“

“Don’t. Please, just… I’m tired, Cassian. I’m tired and I’m confused and I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

You feel tears begin to brim— the ache in your chest becomes overwhelming the longer you stand there staring into Cassian’s eyes. You were tired, physically and emotionally. There was not much more you could deal with, especially not this. 

“What was it you said to me? Please… I don’t know how much longer I can dance around this with you. I’ve known you for so long and yet you still build up these walls when you’re with me that I can’t seem to get past.” 

You didn’t even know you had begun to cry until Cassian brought his hand up to your face, gently brushing the tears away with your cheek.  He has comforted you before— held you when you had nightmares. So instead of pulling away, you can only lean into his touch automatically despite the emotions boiling within you.

“I just want the truth, okay? Why can’t you just give me that? How much longer do I have to beg for you to—“

In a moment faster than light speed, Cassian had used his hands to grab your cheeks and pull you towards him, capturing your lips with his in a fervent, passionate kiss. You’re too shocked to move away, so many thoughts running through your mind that it all becomes a blur in an instant. 

It was everything— the moment his lips touched yours, you melted. You became putty in his hands as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. 

But yet…

After years of imagining what his lips would feel like pressed against yours, you wanted to lose yourself within the kiss, you truly did. But as you pull back and stare up into Cassian’s dark luminous eyes, you’re left more confused than ever. 

Was there a sense of affection in his eyes? Or were you just hoping that it was there, just as you had hoped he loved you the way that you love him?

Or worse, was he just playing you? Was he just using every skill he was taught on you and this was the spy you had heard many stories about? 

Your name rolls off his tongue in a whisper that pulls you from your rambling mind, and before he can speak, a deep voice calls for him. The both of you turn your heads, but Cassian is the one who takes a full step away from you. 

Just like that, his walls were back up.

“Captain Andor,” the man you assumed to be General Draven walks up, glancing between the both of you. You avert your gaze, looking down at the floor to give them a sense of privacy.

“General.” Cassian salutes— ever the perfect soldier.

“We’re going to need your report on the incident right now, we’ll be meeting in the mission briefing room.”

“Yes, General.” 

He soon walks off the way he came, and you are left once again in the midst of an awkward silence with Cassian, as if what happened moments ago didn’t happen. He stares down at you, regret littered upon his face— like he is torn. 

Please don’t go.

“I, Uh…” he breathes out, not quite sure what to say. But that alone was enough for you to dismiss it. “Nova—“

“It’s fine,” you shake your head, avoiding his gaze. “You should… you should go. It’s important stuff…”

He says your name softly and steps towards you again, but you squeeze your eyes shut and close in on yourself. 

“I have to go to the medbay, anyways.” 

Cassian sighs, and takes a moment before he whispers an ‘okay’. You feel him brush his fingers against the back of your hand before opening your eyes. 

Don’t cry, for the love of stars, don’t you dare cry. 

“When I’m finished, I’ll come find you. We can… we’ll talk, okay?” 

You can only manage a small nod and force a smile— hoping it’s convincing enough that you are okay. While he stares at you, obviously not convinced, the good soldier in him follows his orders and turns to leave. 

All you want to do is scream. And shout. You want to hit the wall or kick the metal crates next to you. You want to cry. 

But you don’t.

Instead, all you do is stand in place, watching Cassian round the corner to leave you behind. The kiss plays over and over in your mind, like a broken hologram you needed to fix just to skip over the next part as a way to get over the sorrowful ache in your chest. 

You shouldn’t have expected anything less. Part of you debates running after him, but you can’t think clearly enough to decide what action you would take. Would you have kissed him again? Or would you just go straight to demanding an explanation from him and possibly end up starting another argument? 

Despite everything running through your mind— despite what your heart was telling you to do— the only thing you could physically do in that moment was let your legs with each shaky step lead you to find Melshi.

As you look through the hangar, you’re too preoccupied to notice the tall droid standing in your path. You manage to glance up just before running into it, and you look up to see the familiar reprogrammed Imperial droid.

“Hello, Nova.” 

No matter how many times you insisted he call you by your real name, K2S-O still used the same name Cassian would. Cassian would bring him along for visits every now and then, and you got on well. You always teased that Kay liked you more than Cassian did. 

“Oh, hi Kay.”

“Are you looking for Cassian? He’s meeting—“

“No, no.” You shake your head. “I’m… I was just with him, so… I was looking for the medbay.”

“Well, it’s in the opposite direction. And you seem to be in a hurry to leave. Would you like for me to get the Captain?”

“No, Kay,” you sigh. “Just… don’t tell him you saw me, okay? Please?” 

“You seem to be in distress.”

A dry chuckle escapes you, and you close your eyes. “Just… please, if he asks about me just say you didn’t see me.” 

“I see. I will tell him exactly that.”

You hear heavy footsteps walk away from you and when you look back up, you see that Kay is gone. Part of you feels guilty for having Kay lie to Cassian for you— you know how loyal the droid is to him. But you just needed to leave, to clear your head. 

As soon as you spot Melshi, you take the one chance that you can get to do exactly that.

++++++

It would have been a lie to say that you were handling things well since you’ve been back home. Since you didn’t get the proper medical help back on Yavin IV, you had to stop by the nearest medic to get checked out. After a few bacta patches were wrapped around you and a lovely health stim was injected into you, you thought you would be good to go. 

If only the trip to the medic was able to help the rest of you heal. 

Sleep was rough. There were some nights you had made it through, but others you were lucky to even get through one or two hours. If you weren’t tossing and turning all night from the pain in your ribs, there were images of Terek flashing behind your eyes— you could practically feel the knife against your throat each time. 

And then of course there was Cassian and the kiss. You wondered if you made the right decision, leaving without telling him. He deserved that at least… right? Did he even bother looking for you? Even if he did… it was already too late. 

You tried not to think about the kiss often, but it was hard to do so since it was something you had truly longed for. The warmth of his lips against yours and the way that his hands felt as they held your cheeks… it was everything you had imagined. 

A few shouts between a shopkeeper and a customer bring you back to the present, and you quickly hand over a few credits before gathering your small bag of fruit and making your way home. Now wasn’t the time to think about that. 

Pushing past various individuals alike, you keep your head down as you continue back down the path to the inn. You really needed to find a way off this small moon— maybe finding a small job to help get you some extra credits or making yourself worthy of becoming a crew member on a ship would be the best ways to go about it. Either way, a fresh start might do you some good.

As you turn around a corner to an alleyway, an eerie feeling slithers its way up your back. Was someone following you? Did someone from Terek’s group survive and track you down? With your heart pounding, you try casting a look over your shoulder, but all you saw was a stray tooka cat running through the metal trash bins. Shaking your head, you quickly turn on your heel and practically run back to the inn. 

It’s nothing, it’s nothing. No one is following you, all of Terek’s men are dead.  

It runs through your mind like a mantra spoken by the Guardians of the Whills— you knew it was impossible for any of Terek’s men to survive the raid from the Rebellion and if they had, it was impossible for them to know where you were. 

Practically out of breath, you finally make it to the inn, and rush straight for your room. You make sure to lock the door and turn the lights on, feeling a little more relieved when you do so until you hear someone take a step behind you. 

“You left.” 

The bag you were carrying slips from your hand at the sound of his voice, and you listen as the shurra fruit you purchased tumbles along the floor. You don’t even bother with the fruit as Cassian walks out from the corner of the room, his eyes never straying away from you. 

He’s healed well, you note as he stops in front of you. His bruises shrunk down with a bit of yellowing around the edges, and the cuts that once littered his cheek and lips were nonexistent. 

You were too focused on looking over him that you didn’t take into account what he was doing here. It had been a few weeks since the incident, and you figured that he was going to stay focused on Alliance stuff. Were you happy that he was here?

Deep down, yes. 

Although, the expression on your face probably told him otherwise. 

“Cassian…” Is all that you can manage to say as he reaches down to pick up the fruit, handing them to you. You try ignoring the way his fingers linger against yours as he places them in your hands, taking his time to pull away. 

“You left,” he says again— dark eyes boring into yours. “I went back and looked everywhere for you. Twice.”

“I…” 

You hated that you couldn’t find the words to explain. Absolutely hated it. The longer you stared at him, the longer you began to regret the decision you had made. Maybe you shouldn’t have left, but you did. 

“When I finally told Kay, he said you asked him not to tell me that you left.”

That damn droid, you think, although you don’t really blame him. He was loyal to Cassian.

Cassian waits for you to answer, but you still can’t. Instead, you move to the small table you frequently ate your meals at to set the fruit down. Footsteps come up behind you, but you don’t turn to face him. 

“Why did you leave?” He asks in a whisper you barely catch. “I told you that I would come back so we could talk about what happened. I meant that.”

Talk about what happened. Closing your eyes, you can easily picture Cassian grabbing your face and pressing his lips to yours. It makes your heart race in the most wonderful way possible, even though at the time you were just so confused and still in shock from the events before. You still were. You didn’t know why he had kissed you or what his reasoning was— you kept telling yourself that it wasn’t what you hoped it to be, and that you were just over analyzing. 

Another soft step is taken towards you, and you can feel Cassian closer than ever. 

“...Nova—“

“Why did you do that?” It comes out too quick before you could stop yourself. “Why did you kiss me?”

It takes everything in your power not to face Cassian— you didn’t want him to see you in this vulnerable state you were in. Instead, you wait. 

You wait, and you wait until he finally speaks.

“...Because I didn’t know how else to tell you how I feel about you,” he mutters. “When it comes to… words, I… it’s hard for me to express myself by using my words. You know that.”

He’s right. For as long as you’ve known Cassian, he was more of a physical person— he relied on action rather than words. So when you finally turn to face him, it’s there that you realize just how vulnerable he is in this moment. His gaze is fixed on yours, but you know his mind is racing trying to choose what he should say next.

“So when I kissed you… I was hoping that— well, I just hoped it would show you how I truly feel. But me leaving right after… I shouldn’t have done that. I regretted it the moment I took that first step because I should have stayed and told you that…”

When he tries to continue, you watch his mouth open and close until he groans, running his hand down his face in frustration. He lets out a breath, before looking back at you, and taking a step towards you until his chest is just centimeters away from yours. 

He leans close to you, and gods, when he whispers that familiar phrase you can only stay frozen in place. You stare up at him— waiting for him to speak again.

“...You’ve always asked me what it meant, and I told you I would tell you someday.” He swallows. “It’s because I was terrified then, but now…” 

Cassian’s fingers brush against your hand, the simple touch sending your heart in a flurry of beats.

“You mean everything to me. You appeared in my life so suddenly like… like a sudden bright light— one that I have dreaded losing sight of.” He grabs your hand. “When they were taking me away, I thought that was going to be the last time I saw you. It was like the light was dimming with every step they took but then…”

He looks down, bringing your hand up to his lips as he holds it tightly. 

“I wanted to tell you right then and there how I truly feel about you. But I just…”

You place your hand on his cheek, lifting his gaze. His eyes meet yours without flinching, a sparkle of intensity between you both. 

“Tell me,” you breathe out in a mere whisper. 

You wonder if Cassian can hear the heart races due to how silent it is now and how close he is. If you were just a few centimeters closer…

“I love you. I’ve always loved you, stars, Nova. You’re my everything. You’ve always been.” He admits. “That’s what I’ve been telling you from the first moment you asked what I meant. Every time you asked me what I was saying… that was it. I was telling you that I love you.”

And that was all you needed to hear.

Those words— finally hearing what he has struggled to say and what you weren’t sure to be true before— work their way through your mind over and over on a loop. In an instant, you’re the one who closes the small space between you as you press your lips against his in a desperate, long awaited kiss. Cassian wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you even closer as he returns the kiss. 

Everything in that moment is all you’ve ever dreamt of— as if fate was in play here. Many nights spent fantasizing about this among other things were just that, fantasies, but Cassian was here and just as real as ever. 

When Cassian’s fingers dig into your waist, you let out a hiss, and he quickly pulls back. He watches as you press a hand to your side, scared as if he was the one who hurt you.

“Sorry—“

“I’m okay, still a little tender,” you reassure, stepping closer to him. “I’m fine, Cassian.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I am,” you nod, before grabbing his jacket and pulling him back to kiss you. 

He still seemed hesitant to grab you, but when you place his hands on your waist he seems to relent. What he doesn’t do is hold back when kissing you, and you were grateful for that. You wanted him— all of him in that moment.

Sliding his jacket off, you let him lead you back towards the bed. His fingers tease your skin at the hem of your shirt, before he breaks the kiss to pull it over your head completely. His eyes slowly trail down along your body, and he freezes as he sees the small cuts and bruises. 

His expression changes, and you press the palm of your hand against his cheek. 

“Are you sure this is okay?” He asks, genuine concern laced in his eyes. “I know you… went through something horrible—“

“We both did, Cassian,” you brush your thumb along his skin. “I don’t want to stop. I want you… I want to feel you.”

Cassian’s eyes study you, searching for any hint of hesitation or even fear probably. In return, you give him a small smile, and you watch as the gaze in his eyes softens. He kisses you, a deep and passionate notion, and you each fumble with the rest of your clothes.

He lies you down, hovering over you as he moves between your legs. He trails feather-light kisses along every inch of your skin, as if trying not to miss any spots. He leads a path from your collarbone, between the valley of your breasts until he moves over. He kisses your right mound, carefully kissing and flicking his tongue over your nipple while he caresses the other one with his hand. Soon, he switches over, doing the exact same thing.

You’re sure that he can feel the way your heart beats, how it races with each kiss, nibble, and lick he gives you. A quiet hum escapes you, and you glance down as you feel Cassian continue his course. He takes careful measure to kiss every bruise and cut that litters your skin along your torso, a silent apology almost. 

Arousal pools between your legs with every single touch Cassian makes— you’re sure to be dripping by the end. Cassian moves down lower, his lips brushing against your thighs as he inches closer to your aching sex. 

“You smell so sweet,” his voice comes out in a deep whisper. “Always wondered what you tasted like. Had so many dreams about making you come with my mouth.” 

His fingers brush against your wet pussy lips, gathering the slick as he moves up and gently circles your sensitive clit. By this time, you’re already lost. Your mind is left in a daze; the touches, kisses, and the words coming from Cassian hits you hard each time. He had dreams about you—like you did him— but hearing him saying this out loud only turned you on even more. 

He looks up, staring deep into your eyes.’”Can I...“ 

When you feel Cassian begin to push your thighs further apart, you sit up, and pull him back up. Confusion covers his face and you kiss him deeply. While the thought of Cassian delving between your thighs and making you come just from his mouth sounds exquisite, you simply want to feel him inside you already. When you tell him just that, he nods, and presses his lips to yours as you lie back down. 

His hard cock brushes against the inside of your thigh, and fuck you are just aching for him. He nestles between your thighs, breaking the kiss to stare down at you.

“Are you—“

“Don’t you dare stop, Cassian Andor.” 

Something flashes in his eyes, whether it be amusement or adoration, it’s gone before he leans down to take your lips with his. Cassian grabs one of your hands and presses it next to your head, entwining his fingers with yours, and when he pushes inside of you, you see stars. 

No, you see the entire galaxy.

You and Cassian seem to inhale sharply at the same time, and he squeezes your hand tightly. He feels perfect, as if you were both made for each other. And when he starts moving, it’s even better than you’ve imagined. 

Sure, you were no stranger to sharing a bed with someone, but it was nothing like this. It wasn’t the face of whatever current partner you were taking that flashed through your mind, but it was always Cassian’s. For so long, you had wondered what it would feel like to have Cassian inside you— to feel his hands caress every inch of your body as you both bring each other to the brink of ecstasy. 

You no longer had to wonder, because every thrust from Cassian was everything. This wasn’t just sex with Cassian, this was making love, and by the gods you never wanted to forget this moment. It’s slow, but hard— like he is trying to make sure to hit every spot inside of you. His fingers dig into your hip, but the pleasure you’re receiving erases any sense of pain you felt from your bruises. 

When you throw your head back against the pillow, Cassian is quick to kiss your pulse— a moan escapes you as he begins flicking his tongue and sucking your skin. You try rolling your hips with his, meeting each thrust as they increase with pace. He never once releases his grip on your hand, instead presses it deeper into the mattress while the other hand lifts your leg around his waist. 

The new angle exposes more of you, and as his cock hits that spot inside of you, you’re left begging as you writhe underneath him.

“Kriff, Cassian—“ you’re cut off with a gasp. “Don’t… don’t stop.”

When he speaks, it’s in whispers of his language that you barely catch. Only… when you come out of your daze to listen to what he says, your chest bursts with a warmth you haven’t felt in so long as you recognize 

I love you. 

I love you.

You’re my everything.

I love you.

And stars, the way he says your name each time is like music to your ears— a symphony of moans which would soon reach that wonderful climax. 

Your free hand cups the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair gently as you pull him down to kiss you, muttering your love for him as well. Cassian returns the fervent kiss, as he snaps his hips hard into yours over and over again. You’re so close, you can feel your orgasm practically begging to be released with every moan of his name that catches in the back of your throat. 

When it finally hits you, you’re left in such a euphoric daze that the only thing you remember is the way Cassian clutches on to your hand and how he rides you through it. White lights soon flash behind your eyelids, and you can only hold tight onto Cassian. You barely catch the way he kisses your neck or how he urges you to come earnestly through short breaths. With the way your cunt squeezes around him, Cassian soon follows with his seed pouring into you.

Small whines as Cassian loses himself are heard, and as you fall slack into the mattress, you feel Cassian bury his face in your neck. He slowly rocks into you, sending jolts of small pleasure through your body, until he finally comes to a stop. Neither of you move right away, instead bask in the way your breaths sync together.

When you do move, Cassian is the first to do so, but only to kiss you lightly along your neck. You hum, tilting your head back until Cassian is now looking down at you. So many words, so many things to say to you are probably running through his mind right now. 

He brushes his thumb along your cheek, staying silent as he takes all of you in. He leans down, kissing you over and over again as if this was the last time he was going to be able to do so. 

He only stops when you pull away, and even still he has to touch some part of you to know that this is real. When you push back his hair, he relaxes. 

“...Cassian?”

“Hm? Are you okay? Am I hurting you?”

“No,” you shake your head, smiling. “I just…”

“What is it, love?”

Love. That’s what all this— what everything has been between you both. Unspoken, but there. Now that it’s said aloud, you never want to stop hearing it, or saying it for the matter.

“I love you.” 

When Cassian smiles— a wonderful sight— you truly feel whole from the way he gently touches you and the soft response of his voice.

“I love you, too. My Nova.”

[arcticfox007]

The Wych Elm and the Cemetery

Happy Christmas @aibari! I’m you’re secret santa and I hope you enjoy your gift!

Thanks to @destielsecretsanta2020 for putting all of this together :)

Wishlist fulfilled: Angst with a Happy Ending, Case Fic, Weird Small Towns (well city in this case), Weird Angel Lore, Hand holding, and Americana (I tried to work in as much as I could) – if you want specific info on all of the Americana I tied in, check out my endnotes on AO3 😊 Also, @aibari I’m happy to list you as the giftee on AO3 if you have a name over there.

The is roughly set during early Season 12, but I’m not married to canon or anything.

***

               Dean wasn’t easily impressed these days, but even he had to admit that the tree growing out of the grave was unlike anything he’d come across before. The historic cemetery in the middle of Missouri had its fair share of trees, but they had come here for this one. Cas stood next to him looking like he was attempting to interrogate the tree with his mind. For a moment Dean was distracted by the angel, smiling a bit at the memory of the time Cas had insisted on interrogating a cat. Luckily, Cas had gotten better at blending in, so at least he wasn’t actively asking the tree questions. There was the sound of someone clearing their throat to Dean’s other side and Dean directed his attention back to the cemetery’s caretaker, Mrs. Paige.

               “I’m not sure why the FBI would be interested in something like this.” The older woman sniffed and looked at both Cas and Dean suspiciously. Dean turned on the charm and gave her a warm smile.

               “Unfortunately, we aren’t at liberty to discuss the details of the case, but we’d appreciate anything you can tell us about this tree Mrs. Paige, or the woman who was killed, Louisa Abbot.”

                We’d also like any information you might have on the person who was buried here,” Castiel interrupted. “Most of the marker seems to be missing, perhaps destroyed by the sudden growth of this tree.”

               “Well, I can certainly get you the information on who was buried here, this was one of our more famous gravesites. The man buried here died in the early 1800s, he is one of two Revolutionary War veterans laid to rest in the cemetery, his name was William Abbot. I believe he held the rank of Captain. The Boone Historical Society may have more information about him, but he is one of the earliest burials in the cemetery and a lot of those records have been lost over the years.” Mrs. Paige chewed on her lower lip for a moment, staring along with Dean at the tree once again. “The tree will have to be removed to restore Captain Abbot’s grave.”

               “Was Captain Abbot an ancestor of the victim?” Cas’ question caught Dean off guard. There was something strangely mesmerizing about the massive twisting trunk rising out of the ground exactly where the remains of Captain Abbot would have been. Dean registered that Cas and the caretaker were continuing to talk, but Dean stepped away to examine the tree more carefully. It’s roots, on the surface at least, didn’t seem to spread out much. Rather they seemed to go straight down into the Earth. Its trunk was thick enough to have been there for hundreds of years despite having only appeared a few days ago. The tree itself was knotted in appearance, with ugly, twisted branches shooting out in all directions. For some reason it occurred to Dean that the tree looked like it was screaming in pain. Dean jumped when he suddenly felt Cas’ hand on his shoulder.

              “Dean. Are you listening?” Dean pulled his eyes away from the tree and turned towards Cas who continued to keep his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

               “Ah, no, sorry. This,” Dean waved vaguely at the impressive scene before them, “is kind of distracting.” Cas nodded seriously. Dean noticed that the caretaker had left, but was distracted again by Cas pulling his hand back. They always touched a bit longer than was probably normal, but Dean still regretted the loss of the warmth on his shoulder.

               “Mrs. Paige said that the victim may have been a descendant of Captain Abbot, but she wasn’t sure. She suggested the Historical Society again, if we needed further information. She did say that she knew Louisa Abbot when she was a teenager. She was one of several teenagers she used to call the police on for breaking into the cemetery after hours to party. Mrs. Paige said she hadn’t really seen her in more recent years.

               “Is there any way to tell if the good Captain is still here?” Dean waved towards the roots of the tree. Cas shook his head. “Ah well, I’d be surprised if they were still here. I guess we better find out what exactly Louisa Abbot was into.” They started walking back towards the car.

               “I agree. I’d also like more information on the tree. I know it’s a type of elm, but I’m not sure of the significance, if there is any.”

               “Call Sam and get him to work on it.” Cas let out an exasperated huff in response to Dean’s delegation of research to his brother.

               “Dean. The entire reason we are here without Sam is so he can rest. He needs to sleep to get over the flu, especially since he refused to let me heal him. I am more than capable of finding the information, perhaps while you visit the historical society.”

               “Alright. You want me to drop you off at the library?”

               “That would be acceptable.” Cas paused to look out over the cemetery again before opening the passenger side door of the Impala. Dean noticed the angel’s hesitation.

               “Everything okay man?” Castiel turned towards Dean upon hearing his words and Dean notices the sadness that ghosts across the angel’s face. “Seriously, Cas, what’s going on with you? You seem more, I dunno, out of it than usual.”

               “I – this place is a lot like the cemetery where Mary was originally buried. I don’t like the memory of you leaving to die.” Cas looks away abruptly and climbs into the passenger seat. Dean is at a loss for words, so he doesn’t say anything at all. He drops Cas off at the library with all the things left unsaid hanging between them.

***

               It’s off season for the small college town, most of the students having gone home for winter break, so the hunters end up with better than normal accommodations. Dean is more than happy to discover a decent grill-themed restaurant practically in the parking lot of their hotel, and Cas is happy to wait until his companion is content with food before telling him what he’d found during his time in the library. Dean talks ideally about the pie store the server had told him about, wondering if they’ll have time to check it out before they leave. Cas lets Dean talk, he finds himself still grateful that he can have these moments, he truly thought he was going to lose him in the attempt to destroy Amara.

               Ever since Castiel’s brief time as a human he’s found that the emotions he’d been slowly acquiring over the years have amplified at a rate that he has had difficulty adjusting to. He’d hoped at the beginning that regaining his grace would have given him back some of the control that had spiraled away from him, but he can’t help but dwell on almost losing Dean.

               When they reach their room, Dean opts to take a shower before swapping case notes so Cas tries to take that time to compose himself. When given moments away from Dean, where there is a chance for quiet, the angel forces himself to let the feelings he has for the infuriating man wash over him. He lets himself feel the pain at having to let him go up against Amara alone. He lets himself feel the overwhelming joy at seeing him alive once again. He lets himself feel how much he’s fallen in love with the beautiful human being. He recalls talking to Anna at the beginning of what would become his fall, her telling him it only gets worse. He has no doubt now that she wasn’t just referring to his struggle with doubt. An angel that can feel things akin to a human can easily become overwhelmed. They were not built for these sensations, and so, every time Castiel lets go to indulge in the wash of his emotions he pulls on his grace and works to reign them in one at a time. By the time Dean emerges from the shower Castiel has regained some semblance of stoicism.

               “So, this lady at the historical society was great. She apparently teaches genealogy classes for free to the public or something, so she was able to pull up the victim’s ancestry pretty fast. Captain Abbot was her ancestor all right, so at least we have that connection. Couldn’t find much out about the family besides that, so we should talk to Louisa’s next of kin tomorrow. I think the police report said she had a sister locally.” Castiel agrees to the plan and pulls out some information he had printed at the library.

               “The tree is called a ‘Wych Elm’ and is a common wood used to build coffins, which may explain it’s presence. It’s possible, if Captain Abbot’s coffin was made from this wood, that whatever spell was cast had the side effect of growing a new tree from the wood.” Dean raises his eyebrows skeptically when Cas shares this information.

               “It’s called a witch elm Cas; do you really think it’s there because of the coffin wood?” Castiel rolls his eyes at his companion.

               “W-Y-C-H Dean, not witch. It means pliable, it’s named for the characteristic of the wood. But no, to answer your question. I doubt it has anything to do with the coffin wood. It’s not a tree common to this area.” Dean waves his hand to indicate Castiel should continue. “You are not the only one to mistake the name of the tree for something else. More recent lore does associate the tree with actual witches as many of them seem to like these trees as ritualistic sites. The rest of the lore associates them with melancholy and death, especially because the trees are known for unexpectedly dropping branches and injuring the unsuspecting people standing below them.”

               “Yeah, okay. Does that mean that Louisa was some sort of witch, and grew the tree there on purpose?” Cas thinks about Dean’s suggestion for a few moments.

               “Possibly. The other thing these trees are known for is guarding the entrance to Hades, so it may also be a result of an attempt to raise the dead. I cannot be certain as this seems unlike any other necromantic ritual I’ve heard of. I am also uncertain at to the motivation of raising someone who died over two centuries ago, as the more recent dead are usually preferrable to necromancers.”

               “Alright, well there’s not much more we can do tonight.” Castiel nods and watches Dean dig through his bag. Dean hesitates for a moment and Castiel begins to wonder if he forgot something at the bunker. Dean shakes his head and pulls a bundle out of his bag, tossing it to Castiel.

               “Here, I forgot I brought this for you.” Dean looks expectantly at the angel as Cas looks at the material in his hands.  

                “Clothing? Dean, I have no need to change clothes.” Castiel’s confusion is evident on his face. Dean sighs rubs the back of his neck.

                 “I know man. Just try though, you’re more human-like than before with Heaven losing power. I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I noticed that you eat more often, and even sleep sometimes. I think you’ll actually appreciate relaxing in something that isn’t a suit and trench coat.” Cas looks at the clothing in his hands, dismayed that Dean has seen the weakening of his connection to Heaven. He hadn’t wanted Dean to think him less capable but at the same time he’s touched by the thought the man had put into the angel’s situation.

                 “Thank you, Dean. I will try.” Castiel goes into the bathroom to change and when he emerges, he finds Dean sitting on one of the beds flipping through TV channels. Dean slides over, indicating that Cas should sit down as the TV is only visible from the one bed. Dean complains that the only thing on is a Law & Order marathon because the hotel doesn’t have a streaming service on the TV. Cas doesn’t mind though, sharing the bed to watch television gives him an excuse to watch over Dean as he sleeps without Dean complaining about it. Even nicer is how Dean falls asleep gradually in the middle of an episode and doesn’t seem to notice how he curls into Cas’ side as he does it. Cas smiles and allows his feelings to wash over him again as he thinks about how the softer PJs must be more comfortable for Dean to lay on.

***

                  The following evening found the hunter and the angel at a place called Warm Springs Ranch. When they called Louisa’s sister, she told them she could talk during her break. The ranch ran some sort of Christmas event and Janice Abbot was one of the people in charge of it. Dean tried to play it cool, but he couldn’t help getting a bit excited over the chance to see the Budweiser Clydesdales. He did remind Cas that interrogating the horses was unnecessary to which he had received one of the angel’s full body eyerolls. Dean would never admit it out loud, but he really enjoyed Cas’ sarcasm. He thought the eyerolling was kind of adorable.

               Dean hadn’t meant to spend last night half snuggling with his best friend, but Cas didn’t seem to mind so he wasn’t going to worry about it. Dean figured his secret crush on the guy was his problem, not the angel’s – as long as it didn’t mess up their friendship it wasn’t worth agonizing over.

               They had unexpectedly spent the morning at the morgue. There was another strange death last night, something had eaten the victim’s spleen. They’d only received a call about it because the original victim, Louisa, had also been missing her spleen along with several other organs and most of her blood. If it was the same creature it certainly seemed to enjoy the bloodier organs of the body. The only other thing the victims had in common was proximity to the cemetery. The most recent victim had visited the cemetery the previous day according to her wife.

               After that trip, they had gotten access to Louisa’s duplex and were now in agreement that she had been a practicing witch dabbling in necromancy. Cas had been on the phone with Rowena during the drive to the ranch giving her a rundown on the information they had in the hopes that she could help then understand more of what was going on. Eventually Cas had given in and called Sam, admitting that the younger Winchester had a much easier time getting Rowena’s cooperation.

               When they finally arrived at the front of the line of cars entering the ranch, Dean began to understand why there was a crowd. The lights draped everywhere were impressive and Dean was happy to note that Cas seemed taken in by the display. It always cheered Dean up to see Castiel happy, it felt like those instances were all too rare in their line of work. Dean and Cas showed their badges at the entrance and asked where they could find Janice. They were directed to a side road for staff and Dean noticed the small frown of Cas’ face.

               “Hey, want to ask if we can drive through the light display if we have time before we leave? It looks kinda awesome.” Castiel didn’t exactly smile but Dean could tell the suggestion pleased him. Dean wasn’t always sure why, but he was much better at reading Castiel than anyone else. Dean drove around to the back to park his car in what he assumed was the employee parking lot. They made their way through the staff entrance and asked around until they found Louisa’s sister.

                “I honestly don’t know what I can tell you guys that I haven’t already told the other cops. I’m sorry she’s dead but Louisa and I were not close. She and I have barely spoken since we were kids. She was friends with some really weird people and did a lot of drugs when we were younger. I’m really not surprised she ended up dead in a cemetery.” Janice was clearly frustrated at her sister’s death and the notoriety it had brought with it. They did manage to find out the names of some of the ‘weird’ friends Louisa hung out with but beyond that she had been more than happy to offer them free access to the Christmas event just to be rid of them.

                Dean was fairly certain the interview had been a dead end outside of assuring himself the sister wasn’t also a witch, but he didn’t feel their time had been wasted as he watched Cas roam through the stables. Cas attracted the few colts in residence leading to the kids in attendance following him around so they could see the young horses up close. Dean felt a soft warmth spread out from his chest as he watched his best friend talk with both the children and the colts. The children didn’t think anything of Cas having conversations with horses.

              They eventually made their way back to the car and drove through the light display. Maybe they should have talked about the case, but Dean didn’t want to ruin the moment. Cas gazed out at the decorations with a look of quiet contentment on his face and Dean reached for the angel’s hand without thinking about it. Cas threaded his fingers through Dean’s without even turning away from the window.

             Later that night, after grabbing burgers at a drive thru, they poured through the case notes together hoping to find something they had been missing. Dean didn’t even remember falling asleep until he woke up to Cas rolling him onto a pillow and laying a blanket on him. He mumbled a drowsy thank you and sunk into a dreamless slumber.

***

               Cas thought that maybe it was a mistake, but after last night he didn’t want to be away from Dean. Once he had pulled a blanket over his exhausted friend, Cas changed into the pajamas Dean had given him again and laid down beside him. He stayed above the covers and just watched Dean sleep. He didn’t tell Dean anymore that he’d watch over him as he didn’t enjoy being called creepy. Dean didn’t seem to understand that watching was part of who Castiel was as an angel. While he had rebelled and fallen it didn’t change his need to watch over the man he pulled out of hell. It would be like going to long without air for a human. Cas needed to watch Dean, to protect him, to assure himself that he was safe.

                He noticed Dean shivering despite the blanket draped over him and Castiel found himself giving into another impulse that he wasn’t sure Dean would appreciate. He pulled on the smallest amount of his grace to give some substance to his wings and dropped one of them on top of the man he loved. They were broken and battered, but over the years they had healed enough to fill out a bit. Dean quieted as he felt the weight of the wing, and Cas saw a small smile ripple across his face. The angel would just have to pull his wings back from the physical realm before Dean woke up, but it was worth the grace to keep Dean more comfortable as he slept.

***

               Dean opened his eyes in the morning to find a sleeping angel next to him. He froze as soon as he saw Cas there, more worried that the angel had fallen asleep than about the fact that Dean was all to happy to wake up to his best friend lying beside him. He reached over to see if he could wake Cas up and ran into – feathers? Dean quickly rubbed his hands over his face and woke up more definitively. Yup, those were feathers. Large, gorgeous, black feathers that shimmered like obsidian in the sunlight. It was as if every color that had ever existed had come together to create the shimmering black of Castiel’s wings. While concerned about why Cas was sleeping and why his wings were manifested when Dean had only ever seen shadows, Dean couldn’t help but be enthralled with the things. His hand reached out to pet the one blanketing him before he actually thought about it. He had just enough time to appreciate how amazingly soft they felt before Castiel awoke with a gasp. The wing pulled back suddenly and Cas was sitting up staring at Dean in shock.

               “Sorry, sorry! Did I hurt you? I didn’t mean anything by it, they were just so amazing… I’m so sorry Cas!” Dean held up his hands trying to placate the angel as he also sat up. Cas looked at his wings as if he had just realized they were physically present. Surprise travelled over his features and with a roll of Cas’ shoulders the wings disappeared. Dean tried not to look as disappointed as he felt. Cas turned back to Dean and briefly touched his jaw.

               “It’s alright Dean. I was just surprised. They were manifested more than I intended and the sensation of you touching them was unexpected.”

               “Did I hurt you?”

               “No, like I said it was just unexpected, not harmful. I apologize, I didn’t mean for them to be out for so long.” Dean was surprised to note that Cas looked embarrassed.

               “I – I’m glad I got to see them. They’re fucking awesome Cas, the shadows were badass enough, but wow. If I had known you could manifest them like that, I’d have been begging you to show me for years.” Cas laughed and the tension between them evaporated. Dean got ready in the bathroom and found Cas back in his regular clothing hanging up the phone when he’d finished brushing his teeth.

               “Rowena thinks she knows what happened, or at least some of it. She’s not completely sure about the role of the Wych Elm, but she did say that it’s likely we will need to use wood from the tree to kill the creature that was raised.”

               “Did she say what it is?” Cas nodded in response to Dean’s question.

               “She thinks Louisa was trying to make her own vampire. Ties of blood are necessary for control and the age of the corpse increases the power of the risen dead in a ritual like this. Rowena said that no one tries this type of thing though, because the amount of power and control needed are astronomical. She said she wouldn’t try it herself, that there are easier ways to get a loyal servant. Then she said something about how maybe Louisa didn’t have the ‘assets’ Rowena had?” Dean broke into laughter and Cas tilted his head in puzzlement. Dean always enjoyed Cas’ air quotes.

               “Don’t worry about it, Cas. Okay, so Louisa was trying to make her own breed of vampire.”

               “It would seem so. Obviously, she wasn’t successful, and not just in regards to her lack of control. Whatever the creature technically is, it’s not just drinking blood.” Dean chewed over Cas’ words as the angel did something on the laptop. All Dean could think is that this thing seemed to be some sort of zombie vampire. It didn’t really make a difference though, as long as they had a way to kill it. Or re-kill it as it were.

               “So, Rowena said we can use the Wych Elm wood to kill the thing?” Cas didn’t even look up from the screen to answer Dean’s question.

               “Not exactly. She said it had to be the specific tree that grew out of the grave. She also said it wouldn’t be enough by itself. I’m looking at the spell now.” Dean decided to leave Cas to it and work on getting their gear together. It was still a vampire after all, even if it was some sort of mutant version.

               “Dean. I think this will work. Dead man’s blood should still help to incapacitate it. We also need the ashes of it’s creator and the blessing of the divine.” Dean widened his eyes at that list, but he supposed it was doable. They could steal Louisa’s body from the morgue if necessary. “We use the spell to seal the ingredients into the wood of the elm. Then we have to stab the creature with the elm wood through its heart.”

               “So, we have to stake the vampire? Seriously?” Dean was amused at the idea of staking a vampire actually working.

               “Yes, Dean. Afterwards I’d still suggest decapitation and burning whatever is left, just to make sure it stays dead.” Cas closed the laptop and pushed it aside.

               “Sure. You have a plan for blessing of the divine?” Cas smiled at Dean.

               “That’s easy enough.” Cas didn’t even warn Dean, one moment he’s standing there looking at the angel expectantly, the next he has a faceful of feathers.

               “Um, I thought you didn’t want me touching them.” Dean couldn’t see Castiel, but he could hear him snickering. Dean pushed the wing away from his eyes in time to see Cas laughing at him.

               “I said it was unexpected, not that I minded you touching. Anyway, this will work.” Dean watches as Cas runs his finger through the feathers and finds one that comes loose. In between one blink and the next the wings are hidden once again. Cas hold a single feather in his hand, the echo of his earlier laughter still present in his smile.

               “What about the ashes? Do we need to break into the morgue?”

               “We don’t need a specified amount; we can get away with most anything. Maybe just hair or something small, we needn’t steal an entire corpse.” Dean sighs in relief, that’s one less complication.

               “Well let’s head out then, I’d like this taken care of before sunset. Wait, how are we going to find the thing anyway? You think it’s prowling around the cemetery?” Cas nods.

               “Yes, Dean. Rowena seems to think it’s probably tied to the elm and with the other victim also being close to the area I’m inclined to agree with her. Using the tree for the spell may even be enough to draw it to us. If you want to drop me off at the cemetery, I can start preparing everything while you get the ashes.” Dean agrees and grabs his keys.

***

               Cas is somewhat relieved to be dropped off at the cemetery. While Dean hadn’t reacted poorly to being draped in an angel wing this morning, or the fact that Cas was asleep in the same bed, he couldn’t help feeling that he had been pushing things too far. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep while also solidifying his wings. He needed to conserve his grace for more important tasks. While Castiel was truly content to just be a part of Dean’s life it was difficult to remind himself that he could not have more, especially with his poor control over the very human-like emotions he now experienced. What was really tipping him over the edge though, was how Dean kept reacting. Dean did not react with anger or defensiveness when he found himself in situations that hinted of a more intimate relationship with Cas. He acted as if it were normal and even welcome. It surprised Cas, but it also gave him some of the hope that he had never really allowed himself to have. It was distracting, which made it all the better that he would be prepping the spell by himself.

               Cas collected a branch from the Wych Elm growing out of Captain Abbot’s grave, mindful of the tree’s reputation for dropping branches on unsuspecting passersby. Then Cas took a few moments to make sure the caretaker knew that he and his partner may be around afterhours because of the attack yesterday and was happy to find out that she had already decided to stay with a friend until she felt safer. Cas made quick work of the elm branch, pleased with how easy it was to shape into a stake. The sun would set soon so Castiel got to work engraving the sigil they would need directly into the tree trunk. Once Dean brought the last ingredient it should only take them a few minutes to complete everything. With any luck the vampire would come to them.

               He was so absorbed in creating the sigil that he almost didn’t hear the movement behind him in time.

***

               As usual, things had not gone according to plan. Dean had arrived to see Cas holding the mutant-vamp at bay, but clearly struggling to gain an upper hand over the creature they didn’t yet have the means to kill. Dean knew better than to jump into the middle of that fight, it was more important to finish Rowena’s spell. He dumped the ashes in with the rest of the material. Luckily Cas had left a copy of the actual spell out by the bowl with all the ingredients. The incantation was pretty straightforward and Dean quickly scooped up the resulting concoction on two fingers and began filling in the sigil carved into the tree. Dean picked up the branch Cas had sharpened into a stake and touched it to the sigil, running through the incantation one more time. In a brief flash of light, the sigil was absorbed into the stake.

               “Cas!” Dean threw the stake towards the angel who managed to catch it neatly without even looking. Ducking down as the creature threw itself towards him, Cas pushed the stake up and underneath the monster’s rib cage with more force than a normal human could have managed. Dean breathed a sigh of relief too early, the vamp surged back up and made another run at the rapidly tiring angel.

               “Rowena may have overlooked something.” Cas sounded remarkably composed considering how ragged he looked. Dean looked around them desperately for something they had missed. Then he saw how the tree was shivering and pulsing as if trying to reach out to the vampire. Of course!

               “Hey asshole, leave my goddamn angel alone!” Dean knew the shotgun wouldn’t work against the creature but it got his attention, and with the impact to its shoulder and the stake still protruding from its ribcage the monster snarled as it barreled towards Dean. Dean was backed up against the tree as Cas turned on him with a horrified look on his face.

               “DEAN!” Cas sounded both angry and devastated as he chased after the vampire, but Dean just yelled out instructions, all too aware what this probably looked like from Cas’ point of view.

               “Stake it to the tree!” Cas caught on quick and as Dean threw himself out of the way Cas leapt after the thing that had once been Captain Abbot. Cas reached down to where the stake was sticking out and wrenched until the creature’s back was on the trunk of the Wych Elm. Pushing off from the ground Cas slammed the stake further in, until the vampire was stuck to the tree. It screeched as light pulsed from the stake into the tree. The Wych Elm seemed to come to life as it collapsed in on itself, dragging the mutant-vamp back to wherever the tree had come from. Within moments all that was left was a broken gravestone.

               “Huh. Guess we don’t have to worry about burning it,” Dean quipped. Castiel rounded on him, clearly not feeling amused.

               “What were you thinking? What if I hadn’t been fast enough?” Dean let Castiel rant at him for a few moments, standing up and dusting off the dirt from the back of his jeans.

                  “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t want to tip it off.”

                  “So instead, you made it look like you were drawing it away from me? Getting yourself killed for me!?” Castiel’s eyes flashed dangerously blue.

                   “Yeah, and it worked. For the record, I’d have done that even if it wasn’t to trick the thing though. Better me than you.” Dean was maybe angrier than he expected. He realized he’d been worried about how long Cas would last against that thing as he noted cuts that weren’t healing and the way the angel was swaying as he tried to hold himself upright. He also noticed that the blue in Cas’ eyes was in no way diminishing as he glowered at Dean.

                    “You. Are. Absurd. You are worth everything to me.” Then, rather abruptly, Cas fell over. Dean’s heart was pounding in his ears, both from what the angel had said and the sudden alarm he felt at a cosmic being fainting. He pulled Cas up into his arms, and damn, he was heavier than Dean had expected. Not just the muscle that Dean could feel, but he idlily wondered if the wings somehow added weight. Either way, Dean eventually made it back to their hotel room, although his back wouldn’t thank him for it later.

***

               Cas woke up in the pajamas Dean had given him with an arm thrown over his chest. Confused, Cas turned slowly and realized that they were back in the hotel and Dean was asleep beside him, curled around the angel’s torso. As small rays of sunlight peeked through the curtains Cas could see his normal clothing folded nearby on a chair. He noticed that the wounds his grace hadn’t healed yet had been cleaned and bandaged, and that the blanket was pulled up around both him and Dean. As Dean let out a contented sigh in his sleep and burrowed closer, Castiel thought that perhaps he too was worth everything to someone. Smiling the angel allowed himself to drift back to sleep, happily thinking about how Dean had told the vampire to stay away from “his” angel.

***

@destielsecretsanta2020, @aibari

[mournersrp]

𝐍𝐎  𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒,  𝐍𝐎  𝐅𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐒.  once  again,  thank  you  all  so  much  for  the  dedication  put  into  applying  here  at  mourners  ;  it’s  truly  been  a  pleasure  reading  all  of  your  applications  &.  i’m  tremendously  grateful.  turning  down  an  application  is  never  an  easy  process,  and  there  were  many  instances  in  which  i  wished  i  could  permit  a  duplicate  upon  the  dash.  with  that  said,  i’m  looking  forward  to  both  speaking  &.  plotting  with  each  of  you  tomorrow  (  bear  with  me  while  all  pages  &.  skeletons  are  properly  updated  )  —  welcome  to  mourners  !  please  review  our  checklist  and  report  to  the  barrel  boss  within  the  next  twenty - four  hours.

𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐉  𝐆𝐇𝐀𝐅𝐀

VENLI  !  choosing  an  inej  for  mourners  was  ...  a  feat,  as  each  applicant  displayed  an  exquisite  version  of  our  wraith,  but  what  swayed  me  in  the  end  was  the  balance  you  kept  between  who  she  was  while  with  the  dregs  &.  who  she  became  without  them.  the  details  surrounding  intricacies  of  her  newfound  crewmen  (  &.  her  family  post  their  reunion  )  in  which  helped  shape  the  woman  outside  the  barrel  were  lovely  to  read  (  her  thoughts  on  rilar,  in  particular,  were  both  authentic  &.  entertaining  )  ;  i  could  picture  the  scenes  in  earnest.  i  also  loved  the  mention  of  how  she  came  to  understand  kaz’s  own  vices  after  having  to  face  her  own  whilst  sailing  the  seas.  thank  you  for  taking  the  time  to  apply  —  i  look  forward  to  seeing  your  inej  in  play.

𝐉𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑  𝐅𝐀𝐇𝐄𝐘

NOAH  !  the  bit  about  kaz  disproving  jesper’s  exaggerated  stories  had  me  rolling,  and  your  headcanon  regarding  jesper  being  an  absolute  catastrophe  in  the  kitchen  (  gordon  ramsay  is  unamused  )  ?  you  wrote  it  best:  ‘  tall,  lanky,  restless,  distracted,  easily  bored.  ’.  incredibly  handsome,  but  certainly  cannot  focus  on  a  single  recipe.  on  a  serious  note  (  despite  the  consistent,  comical  little  tidbits  which  made  your  application  such  a  pleasure  to  read  ),  the  grasp  upon  his  character  you  presented  between  struggling  with  guilt  &.  penitence  was  flawless,  and  something  i  look  forward  to  seeing  explored  on  the  dash.

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐀𝐒  𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐀𝐑

ABBY  !  there  was  so  much  i  loved  about  your  matthias,  but  i  especially  appreciated  how  you  incorporated  the  other  skeletons  into  interpersonal  plot  points  for  him.  the  attention  to  detail  within  matthias’  headspace  when  ruminating  over  them  was  absolutely  believable  to  his  character.  the  vast  detail  you  supplied  for  each  personality  trait  &.  headcanons  were  so  indicative  of  who  he’s  been  and  who  he’s  become  (  or  trying  so  desperately  to  be  ).  i’m  interested  to  see  his  reactions  to  henrik’s  next  moves  just  as  much  as  you,  and  where  our  drüskelle  will  stand,  then.  oh,  and  abby,  what’s  the  first  rule  about  fight  club  ?

𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐀  𝐙𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐊

EMILY  !  ah,  yes,  nina,  our  waffle  queen.  her  past,  present  &.  sought  future  were  crafted  so  wonderfully  within  your  application  ;  i  particularly  loved  your  headcanon  dealing  with  her  time  as  a  heartrender,  where  nina  stubbornly  wished  to  understand  the  small  science  whilst  her  peers  were  occupied  with  morozov’s  manuals.  it  was  a  pleasure  to  be  able  to  read  her  thoughts  on  the  grisha  she’s  become,  the  label  of  corpsewitch  adhered  to  her,  the  burden  it  has  also  set  upon  her  as  ‘  self - appointed  grisha  guardian  angel  ’.  &.  i  do  hope  you  get  to  share  those  plot  ideas  with  some  of  our  fellow  grisha,  as  your  points  revolving  around  them  were  so  well  thought  out  and  executed.  also,  you’re  right  —  kaz  gets  way  too  into  the  costumes.

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍

HARPER  !  i’m  ready  to  interact  with  felix.  it’s  no  wonder  kaz  made  him  a  deal  —  tragedy  maketh  man,  and  if  there’s  one  thing  dirtyhands  can  comprehend,  it’s  being  dealt  a  bad  hand.  i  love  the  idea  in  which  you  set  forth  that  he’s  lived  his  life  in  such  silence,  that  there  are  those  who  have  known  him  for  several  years,  but  haven’t  heard  even  a  whisper  slip  from  his  tongue.  the  way  you  transitioned  felix’s  headcanons  into  the  pivotal  moments  of  his  life  made  it  a  blast  to  read  through  (  especially  during  the  deal,  where  we  got  a  good  look  at  the  first  devil  in  his  life  —  do  old  habits  die  hard,  in  the  end  ?  ).  once  again,  welcome  to  mourners  (  i  foresee  much  plotting  in  our  future  ).

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑

ALEX  !  we  do  love  a  good  destroyer,  and  marlaina  is  no  exception.  she  knows  her  power  &.  is  not  afraid  to  unleash  it,  a  trait  that,  while  prized  within  the  dregs,  can  also  become  a  nightmare.  after  all,  control  &.  patience  can  be  key.  the  idea  that  she’s  particularly  skilled  at  cards  (  as  well  as  banned  from  most  gambling  halls  )  was  a  fresh  addition  to  the  skeleton,  as  i  quite  love  the  idea  of  our  hellish  heartrender  pushing  her  luck  at  the  crow’s  club  (  when  has  that  ever  ended  badly  ?  ).  i  agree  it’d  be  an  interesting  concept  to  see  her  have  another  grisha  under  her  wing,  especially  when  she  herself  is  always  so  keen  to  detonate  —  her  desertion,  however,  will  surely  catch  up  with  her  soon.

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑

MARGOT  !  you  have  spun  the  impostor  into  an  entirely  new  medium,  and  produced  a  character  that  went  beyond  the  skeleton  provided.  ‘  prison  changed  you.  for  the  better.  you’re  more  fun  now,  sociable  and  loud,  like  a  cannon,  truly.  so  loud  everybody  jumps  when  you  burst  into  a  room.  ’  one  of  the  first  few  lines  in  your  application,  but  what  immediately  captured  my  attention  and  had  me  buckle  in.  i  never  considered  that  the  target  in  which  damned  the  impostor  to  the  depths  of  hellgate  could  be  family,  but  now  i’d  not  have  it  any  other  way.  aris  is  a  world  class  actor  &.  i  cannot  wait  to  help  you  set  the  stage  (  &.  maybe  watch  it  burn  in  the  process  ).

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐓

HENRY  JUDE  !  i  wasn’t  sure  if  there’d  be  a  lieutenant  at  the  start  of  mourners,  so  i  was  absolutely  thrilled  when  receiving  your  application.  an  important  player  with  a  plethora  of  potential  directions  in  which  they  could  shift,  and  i  can’t  wait  to  see  if  jozef's  includes  the  checkmate.  the  craftsmanship  in  your  design  for  him  was  extraordinarily  executed  and  quite  poetic  ;  he  was  absolute  pleasure  to  study.  i  look  forward  to  plotting  with  you  as  well  as  discussing  the  similarities  between  our  broken,  disastrous  muses  (  also,  i  can’t  believe  we’re  both  aleksander  morozova  apologists  ).

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐑

ARACELIA  !  i’m  in  love  with  anya.  you  put  so  much  adoration  into  her  creation  &.  i  cannot  wait  to  see  it  bleed  onto  the  dash  (  you  make  it  so  hard  to  loathe  a  traitor  ).  her  personality  is  so  believably  balanced,  and  more  than  what  my  own  ideas  surrounding  the  role  initially  included.  the  birth  of  a  monster,  the  birth  of  a  tailor  &.  the  birth  of  an  illusionist  were  impeccably  composed  stories  which  sewed  her  into  existence.  you’ve  forged  a  character  who  is  the  definition  of  ‘  so  much  more  than  meets  the  eye  ’  &.  i  am  thrilled  to  have  gotten  the  first  look  at  our  scarab  queen.

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐑  |  EM  !  i  absolutely  love  the  concept  of  aleni  (  as  kaz  would  say:  she’s  a  particularly  good  investment  ).  with  grisha  within  his  crew,  what  better  for  an  amplifier  to  do  ?  i  was  wondering  if  i’d  see  an  application  involving  ketterdam’s  university,  and  was  immediately  thrilled  when  seeing  it  pulled  into  aleni’s  history.  the  idea  that  she  loved  ketterdam  in  any  capacity  is  not  something  you  tend  to  hear  (  it  died  quickly,  of  course  ),  which  was  a  unique  mention  within  your  wildcard.  &.  we  will  definitely  have  to  discuss  aleni  mistakenly  having  amplified  the  inferni  at  fifth  harbour,  as  i  believe  you’ve  proposed  an  excellent  idea.

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐑  //  𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐀  𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑  |  IRIS  !  to  be  introduced  to  valdis  by  way  of  your  character  summary  was  a  treat.  i  absolutely  loved  the  way  it  was  written,  and  immediately  knew  why  she’d  made  it  into  the  dregs  (  truly  obsessed  with  her  being  the  daughter  of  a  pirate  captain  ).  though  she  managed  to  escape  her  original  work  with  braam,  it  seems,  for  a  time,  she  had  let  history  repeat  itself,  but  with  perhaps  a  better  boss  than  originally  at  the  helm.  &.  with  a  new  debt  paid,  how  fast  till  old  loyalty  dies  ?  

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑  //  𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐀  𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑  |  REE  !  it’s  all  in  the  bones.  a  fjerdan  fleeing  for  discovering  themselves  grisha  is  always  something  i’ve  wanted  to  see  explored,  and  now  i  have  a  front  row  seat.  to  be  ostracized  by  their  own  &.  then  by  a  place  of  presumed  sanctuary  can  induce  a  particular  psychosis  within  the  most  stable  of  individuals,  and  we  do  love  sigyn’s  particular  brand  of  crazy.  you’ve  provided  an  entirely  fresh  take  on  what  is  known  of  a  grisha  healer,  and  how  such  gifts  may  be  construed  when  mixed  with  the  beliefs  of  fjerda.  thank  you  for  delivering  such  a  spellbinding  character  to  mourners.

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓  𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋  |  ALI  !  with  a  vast  cast  of  varying  characters,  i  was  thrilled  to  see  that  senna  originally  came  from  wealth  (  it’s  a  different  path  to  weave,  one  that  usually  draws  more  enemies  than  friends  ).  your  application  was  so  appreciated,  providing  a  role  in  which  started  from  the  top  &.  careened  to  the  bottom  (  i  do  hope  to  see  senna  &.  wylan  swap  stories,  especially  where  senna  has  made  strides  to  escape  the  tread  of  their  father  ).  you  call  it  their  grand  adventure,  and  in  all  its  sinister  glory,  it’s  only  just  begun.  welcome  to  mourners  ;  let’s  plot  some  blackmail.

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑  //  𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐀  𝐓𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐑  |  NINA  !  both  applications  for  our  resident  tidemaker  spun  tales  which  were  a  pleasure  to  traverse,  and  i  would  have  loved  to  have  both  turning  the  tides  for  the  dregs.  manu  belongs  in  a  novel,  with  all  the  devotion  you’ve  clearly  put  into  him.  &.  i  am  ecstatic  to  at  least  have  him  for  mourners’  chapters.  when  you  wrote  ‘  for  the  wanderer  was  nothing  if  not  a  mismatched  family,  made  with  kerch  purple,  fjerdan  ice,  kaelish  fire,  zemeni  courage  and  ravkan  boldness  ’,  i  found  myself  able  to  refer  to  it  whilst  reading  through  the  life  authored  for  him,  able  to  pick  out  these  particular  qualities  on  his  way  to  the  barrel.  &.  hopefully,  he’ll  reach  the  surface  soon.

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Capt. Syverson-Chapter One: Evaluation

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Shane Benton gets a new patient, veteran “Sy” Syverson. He’s one of the most complex cases she’s had, in more ways than one. She thinks he’s already starting to like her and what’s worse...she feels the same.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: None, really, mentions of war and trauma and some hate on the Chicago Cubs, but like…it’s not MEAN! (I’m a Missouri girl, and for the purposes of this fic, Sy is a Missouri boy, and we will bleed for our sports teams. Lol!)

A/N: Inspired by this post right here, and hopefully turning into some splendid fluffy and smutty stuff for my lovely Cavillry babes all around including the two that essentially forced me into this. Lol! (I’m thinking I’ll have at least three or four more chapters.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3.

Tags: @onlyhenrys @cavillryarchive

Let me know if you wish to be added to the list! I’m happy to do it! 

Shane was working on her morning's notes as she scarfed down her lunch. So many hand's-on patients made for a busy so called "lunch hour." Time which their boss was always reminded them was only half for their personal use, and could be taken away if census demanded. She was pretty sure it wasn't legal to make such threats, but thankfully, the secretaries usually had the therapists backs.

As she typed, she got a notification in her messenger app.

Just a head's up, your 1:30 is such a major babe I could barely look at him while I checked him in, so good luck with that.

Heather, one of her best friends in the office, had warned her, as she always did when there was a potential problem with a patient.

Oh, and his KOOS score is 27.5! Yikes! Shit, she'd seen arthritic grandparents with better scores on that test, which essentially rated your ability with the affected knee. Ideal was 100. She pulled up his chart review to see what she was getting herself into with this guy.

Tricare insurance, so, a vet. And only a year older than she was, so, recent discharge, or even active duty. She pulled up his order…shit. Traumatic tear of the anterior cruciate ligament. With damage to the medial collateral ligament as well. And a patellar dislocation. Repairs had been done, but this guy was in bad shape. He was going to be coming a while.

She replied to Heather.

Damn, that's bad. I'm looking at his order, and I'm already thinking I'm gonna want to try to keep him on my schedule if we can. And three times a week. If not with me, Jordan, if he's got openings. Can you start working on that when you have time?

Sure thing…I think you'll be glad you kept him on your caseload once you get a look at his face…and like all of him. Even on crutches, he's tall as shit!

Heather, come on. I'm a professional. I have a doctorate ffs. Lol

You also have a uterus, to the best of my knowledge, and it's about to explode. Promise.

Haha, okay. I'll be out for Prince Charming in about ten. Lemme pop a breath mint and run a brush through my hair.

Good call.

Shane did just that, but still pulled her dark hair back into her customary functional high ponytail, made sure there was no stray food on her shirt, and headed out of her treatment room for her patient.

As she walked down the hall to the waiting area to get him, she noticed a slumped and bearded figure leaning forward on a set of crutches, a KC Chiefs baseball cap slipping up off of his forehead revealing short cropped dark hair. She smiled at his repping one of her home teams, and stepped up to him, greeting him warmly, but formally.

"Mr. Syverson?"

"Ma'am." he said, as he adjusted his cap and stood immediately at attention, still relying on the crutches, but making himself as tall as possible. He really was a soldier. Despite her proximity to Fort Leonard Wood here in St. Robert, Missouri, she didn't see many military men.

"Hi, My name is Shane. I'm a physical therapist. I'm going to be working with you today."

"Oh, okay. They told me my therapists name was Shane, I figured…"

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Don't worry, I act like one of the guys. You'll hardly notice."

"I doubt that." he muttered, but she ignored it. She didn't know which would be worse. Him being a macho chauvinist who couldn't deal with a female therapist, or having a crush on her and making things weird. She'd had both. And it never ended well for her.

"Well, let's go have a chat in the treatment room."

They walked toward the room she'd just left, and when they arrived, she asked him to set on her plinth mat.

"Could you please verify your date of birth for me? Gotta make sure I got the right patient in here."

"May the 5th, 1983."

"Thanks, and the last four of your social?"

He told her, quietly, and against her will, a shiver ran up her spine at the softness the bear of a man exhibited in his voice when trying to maintain privacy. But she kept her composure.

"Excellent." she began typing her eval note, and asking him questions. He began telling the harrowing story of the mission, the mission that effectively ended his career in the military as he knew it. At lest, what he could tell her. Obviously some of it was classified, but certain details she would need to know in order to know how he it and how to treat him. She could tell he was trying to hold it together. Reliving the trauma was probably triggering to an extent. Her heart went out for the broad-chested, blue-eyed man.

"God, that's incredible. The fact that you're alive is amazing, Mr. Syverson."

"I go by Sy, ma'am. And as aware as I am of that, it's tough to feel good about it when some friends in my squad weren't so lucky." he examined the pattern on the tile floor as he rubbed the heel of his hand against the wide thigh of his injured leg. A nervous habit, she presumed. She had similar quirks.

"That must be difficult for you." she knew she was getting off-track from what she needed for her SOAP note, but after all, he was going to be on her caseload exclusively for the foreseeable future. She'd have time to flesh out the goals and basically finish the eval next visit.

"Yeah, but I know there's a lotta guys' got it worse'n me, ma'am."  

"We think that should make it better, but it never does. And if I'm calling you 'Sy,' you have to cut the ma'am business. It's Shane, even to my patients." she smiled.

"Sorry, m--sorry. Habits die hard."

"Just like John McClean." she chuckled, not expecting him to get her ridiculous movie humor. But he laughed.

"Did you just make a Die Hard reference?" he smiled, and the sunshine of it paired with the stunning blue of his eyes nearly sent her flying into the wall. Thankfully, she had something to occupy her gaze in the form of her laptop, where she tried to document on him.

"Did you just get one of my movie references? Because nobody around here appreciates that I'm a total movie nerd. I'm wasted on these people."

"Ya know, maybe you're right about feeling like I'm getting PT from a guy." he chuckled.

"I told ya!" she laughed, but tried not to let her heart sink too far.

The evaluation continued with her doing strength and range of motion measurements on his knee. "Okay, push against my hand…now resist when I push…now bring your foot back against my hand…and resist when I pull." she did this with both sides to compare relative strength. "Great job. Okay, I'm going to see how much range you have in your knee. Lay back on the table for me, please." she thought she saw a flirty glint in his eye, but again, she ignored it. She had a job to do. And it was to hold this goniometer up to his knee and see how many degrees of flexion and extension this man had in the joint while trying not to think any salacious thoughts about the thigh connected to it.

"Okay, now, listen, Sy, I know it goes against your instinct, but I'm looking for pain-free range of motion, here, so don't be a hero. Don't move it farther than you can without hurting it. And let me know if it starts to hurt when I move it."

"Yes, ma'am." he winked.

"I'll let that one slide, I guess." she giggled. She concentrated on the numbers she was getting from the big protractor, and typing them into her eval, and not the man lying before her.

"Okay, I'm gonna get the other knee now to compare for goals."

He nodded.

"Were you pretty active before this happened?" she was more or less making small talk, as she could tell by the condition of the rest of his body that he was incredibly fit.

"Yes, m--yes, I was. We had a gym on base, nothin' like what y'all have here, just some machines and a few free weights."

"No bikes or treadmills or anything?" She herself liked the elliptical, but knew it was a considered more of a girl's machine in the gym world.

"Nah, with electric being spotty where we were stationed, we sorta had to…get creative, I guess you could say, for cardio." she let it slide, apparently there was an inside joke to which she wasn't privy.

"Right, understandable. Well, here, we don't have to get that creative. I'm gonna put you on some equipment gradually, and just warm up the knee, then get to work on joint mobilization and myofascial release. But at this point in Dr. Potter's protocol, he only wants gentle stretching and weight bearing as tolerated. We can start a bit of strengthening after next week."

"So, you think I'll be back to running anytime soon?"

"We can make that a goal, Sy, because I can absolutely get you there. But you're going to have to take it slow. You've got not one, but three major injuries we have to contend with, and there is major trauma in there. But it will heal. With time and effort. And like I said, don't be a hero. The number one rule of therapy is 'if it hurts, don't do it.'"

"I'll hold you to that, m--Shane."

"You're a quick study, Sy. I think you'll be alright. Looks like Heather's put some appointments in for you already. If any of them don't work, call us, and we'll try to get them swapped. I'd like to keep you on my schedule as much as possible, but if there's a conflict in your schedule, any of our therapists will be terrific. And I'll make sure they're looking at your chart and protocol thoroughly before seeing you."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"Okay, I'm gonna print out your schedule for you, and a few exercise handouts I'd like you to work on, especially on days you don't come here. And I'll know if you don't do them, because you won't have improved…so, you better do them."

"Yes, ma'am." she half expected a salute. She rolled her eyes.

"Okay, maybe I'll give you three strikes on the ma'am thing."

"Baseball fan, too?"

"Not that three strikes is so obscure that I'd have to be to know it, but, yes! Major St. Louis Cardinals fan."

"I knew I was gonna like you from the start. Although, being brought up 'round Kansas City m'self, I'm more of a Royals fan."

"Hey, only time I don't root for KC is when they're playing my Redbirds. And even if my team loses to them, it hurts less than if they lose to, say…the Cubs." they shared a scowl of disdain for the Chicago team. "Although, I was happy for them and their fans when they won the series back in 16."

"Yeah, I guess we could afford to let them win one in a hundred years…I'm hoping their next one comes long after I'm in the ground." he chuckled.

"Can't have them getting a big head, can we?"

"Nope! Sure can't!" they both laughed at their mutual interest in dissing rival sports teams.

"Okay, I'll be right back with those handouts." she ran to the office all in one machine to grab the papers she'd printed for him, making sure they were all his and not another patient's. She put them in one of their folders and headed back to her room where he sat on the mat, waiting for her with a smile under his rather impressive beard.

"Before I let you out of here, what questions can I answer for you about what we did today?"

"Oh, uh, nothing comes to mind. You explained everything really well. Did you look at my schedule? Am I with you all the time?"

"Hmm, let's see here, looks like the next two, yes, but I'm off next week, so Heather put you with Jordan, which is what I asked her to do. You two will work great together and he's got a great instinct for injuries like this. And I'll talk to him before I leave. He's one of the best PTAs I've ever worked with, I promise."

"I guess, if you have to take a vacation. I'll see you next time though."

"I'm looking forward to it. That's when the real work will begin, Sy. And our number is on in this paperwork if you have questions, and I've put my card in here, too." they shook hands, and he grabbed the folder from her.

She saw him out of the room and into the lobby. She'd finished with him a bit early, but her next one was already waiting. She needed a break. To collect herself. To breathe.

"Jason! Hey! Go on and get on the recumbent bike, level two. Ride until I get there. We'll get a lot done today if you're already warmed up. I've got a note to finish. And then I'll be in. I should be 15 or less."

While the 19 year old with a torn meniscus hopped to her instructions, she went back to her computer to attempt to finish Sy's eval and pretend that she didn't already have a serious and intense crush on him. This was going to be a long twelve weeks…at least.

Up Next: Chapter Two-Therapeutic Procedure

[lunettagartliteratureproject]

Colors and Shapes

The work that I chose for this project is the song Colors and Shapes by Mac Miller, specifically the music video which was released just this past September despite the song being much older. This song is actually part of a much larger work; the Faces mixtape which Mac released for free back in 2014 and has now been commercially released by his estate as of October 15th, 2021. The mixtape holds some very heavy subject matter such as drug addiction, depression, and thoughts about death. Colors and Shapes details Mac’s experiences with the drug LSD and the way it affects his outlook on life.

In the music video the viewer follows the little dog through his adventures of unconsciousness. In a more literal sense, this video feels as though it was inspired by the true story of Mac Miller’s poodle-terrier mix named Ralphie who went missing and was sadly never found. One could argue that the Colors and Shapes video is an exploration of where Ralphie may have gone. With this thought in mind, I will be referring to the main character of the video as Ralphie.

At the beginning, we see Ralphie sleeping soundly in bed. So soundly in fact that he slips into an unconscious state and “wakes up” in an alternate dimension. Ralphie is obviously frightened as he makes his way through this strange world. When we consider the lyrics and what Mac Miller is actually talking about, the symbolism in the video starts to make sense. For example, towards the beginning when the lyrics are first starting there is a giant owl who’s pupils become extremely dilated as Ralphie passes by. Pupil dilation is a common sign of LSD use so when we as the viewer see this we know this is the beginning of Ralphie’s trip, both in a literal sense and a figurative one. Later on in the video Ralphie is gifted a captain's hat although it falls off of his head as he falls into the water. He grabs the hat in his mouth and swims to safety keeping it nearby. Eventually, when threatened by giants Ralphie has to choose to either give up and face certain death, or fight back. He puts the captain’s hat back on and suddenly the timid pup turns into a fierce guard dog. The hat symbolizes Ralphie’s courage to stand up and take matters into his own hands...or paws. Even when life got scary, Ralphie found the courage to ward off the evil giants and one can assume that he brings this new found courage back to reality with him as his flying bed brings him back to planet Earth. 

I have been a fan of Mac Miller for many years and when the Faces mixtape was released in 2014 I devoured it. Colors and Shapes was always my absolute favorite track. Something about the calmness of Mac’s voice and the gentle beat was very comforting to me back then. Mac’s lyricism is just incredible and if you take the time to pick apart all the lyrics you see how he tells these stories but simultaneously delivers a message to his listeners. 

In this class we discussed the many different disciplines of the Humanities. This work of art hits on many of them including the most obvious, music, but also the less considered such as literature (poetry), philosophy, and the visual arts. Mac’s lyric writing is poetry set to music. Just as we discussed in class the link between hip-hop and poetry, we see that come to life with Colors and Shapes. One line that I find especially poetic is, “These puzzles are so hard to make into pictures of something that they’ll understand, they could open their eyes, still be blind to the beauty but march on the heart of this land…” Mac is saying that even if the rest of our society really looked around at the world they would still not be able to appreciate the small things that make life beautiful. The others cannot possibly understand what he sees because he is looking at the picture differently. He also poses some really deep philosophical ideas such as the line, “He looked up and smiled, asked me, ‘How do you do?’ I told him, ‘I’m losing my grip,’ He told me, ‘Son if you want to hold onto yourself then let yourself slip.’” We as humans need to be able to let go and release the negativities in our lives in order to keep pushing forward. If we keep treading water while holding onto those stressors we will drown. One could also interpret it as a message about failure. Success does not come without failure. If we are afraid to let ourselves fall down we will never be able to achieve our goals in life. 

The music video for this song is a work of art itself. Along with the symbols I explained earlier, there are countless other examples within this visual artwork. It would take me hours to pick each and every one out, but I think that’s an added beauty of this work. I could watch the video ten times in a row and pick out a new symbol or reference every time. The physical artwork is also quite impressive. The choice of a realistic looking animation causes me as the viewer to question if what I am seeing is real or fake, especially in the beginning shots of Ralphie on the bed. I think that’s another fantastic way that they were able to reference drug use as an LSD trip may have the user questioning their own perception of reality. 

[mediaevalmusereads]

When A Scot Ties the Knot. By Tessa Dare. New York: Avon Books, 2015.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Castles Ever After #3

Summary: On the cusp of her first London season, Miss Madeline Gracechurch was shyly pretty and talented with a drawing pencil, but hopelessly awkward with gentlemen. She was certain to be a dismal failure on the London marriage mart. So Maddie did what generations of shy, awkward young ladies have done: she invented a sweetheart. A Scottish sweetheart. One who was handsome and honorable and devoted to her, but conveniently never around. Maddie poured her heart into writing the imaginary Captain MacKenzie letter after letter … and by pretending to be devastated when he was (not really) killed in battle, she managed to avoid the pressures of London society entirely. Until years later, when this kilted Highland lover of her imaginings shows up in the flesh. The real Captain Logan MacKenzie arrives on her doorstep—handsome as anything, but not entirely honorable. He’s wounded, jaded, in possession of her letters… and ready to make good on every promise Maddie never expected to keep.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: graphic sexual content, blood, violence

Overview: I came across this book while doing research for a blog post on Scottish fetishization in romance. While writing the post, I encountered YouTuber Jean Bookishthoughts’s video “ An Actual Scot Reads Highlander Romances,” and she gave this novel a fairly positive review. So I decided “why not? I’ve got nothing better to do.” Overall, the premise of this book was really enticing - the idea of a woman writing letters to a fictional sweetheart only to have a flesh-and-blood man show up at her door is quite the setup. I also think Dare does a good job of writing humor and moving the narrative along. But I ultimately couldn’t give this book more than 3 stars for a number of reasons: for one, the main crux of the plot felt like it could have been a bit more robust. Two, I didn’t find Logan to be a very interesting character. And three, some of the random “Highlander” references felt cheesy.

Writing: Dare writes prose that is quick, witty, and humorous. I very much enjoyed the jokes and the banter between our protagonists, and I appreciated that Dare didn’t get bogged down in some of the details of day-to-day life. If I had any criticisms, it would be that I think Dare moves almost too quickly at times. Some of the more emotional moments could have used some room to breathe or some more description of how the characters’ emotions are faring. But it wasn’t so bad that I felt like I was being rushed through the novel. Another way of putting is may be that sometimes Dare told where she could have shown, but the balance of telling vs showing didn’t feel egregiously off.

Plot: This plot mainly follows our heroine, Maddie, and our hero, Logan, as they try to work out an agreement. Maddie, in the attempt to avoid going on the marriage mart, invented a sweetheart at age 16 and wrote letters to a “fictional” Scottish captain in the army for years. Unbeknownst to her, the letters were actually being received by Logan, and when he and his men come home from the war, Logan is determined to marry Maddie in order to get her land in Invernesshire.

Personally, I found this setup to be quite intriguing and whimsical. I liked the embarrassment that arose from Maddie’s letters actually being received and read. I liked that Logan secretly looked forward to the letters from a stranger. I even liked the dilemma of negotiating a marriage of convenience. But I think where this plot fell apart for me was the whole challenge of consummating the marriage. Logan and Maddie agree to marry and live separate lives (it’s early on, so this isn’t really a spoiler), but Logan is adamant about consummating the marriage so that there’s no possibility of an annulment. Maddie, for her part, wants to avoid consummating the marriage because she finds that marriage will threaten her career prospects; as an illustrator, she finds that men will not hire her for work if they think household or parenting duties will interrupt her work schedule. To be completely honest, this challenge was quite good; I thought there was a real opportunity here for Dare to explore the sexist challenges women face in the workplace. Where I thought the challenge was weak was in the whole obsession with consummation. Unless there was such hostility between the Scottish and the English that an Englishwoman’s word would always be taken over a Scotsman’s, I found the question of “did they actually have sex or not” to be quite trivial. From what I know, annulments were notoriously difficult to obtain, so it wouldn’t matter much if Maddie and Logan had consummated the marriage. It seems like Logan could just say they did and an annulment would be near impossible. Nor do I think the law would care much if they only had non-penetrative sex. It seems like the whole plot hinging on whether or not they had “real sex” was a non-issue for me.

Instead, I would have liked to see more conflict in Maddie between balancing her desires for romance and a family with her career aspirations. Once Logan enters the picture, it seems like her career takes a backseat (except for a couple of scenes), and I would have rather seen it be more front and center. Either that or I think Maddie’s story could have mirrored her aunt’s more closely. Maddie’s Aunt Thea was long ago caught up in a scandal that ruined her, but later, Thea reveals that she had enjoyed the freedom. I think having Maddie be independent and struggle with the idea of being “tied down” by marriage could have also been good, and while there’s a little of that, I think it could have been more apparent to the reader.

In terms of small-scale narrative points, I think a lot of the scenes Dare writes are very funny and entertaining. I liked, for instance, the scene where Maddie falls into a bog, or when Maddie shows kindness to Logan’s friend, Grant. The scenes that truly did bother me, however, were some of the more “fluffy” ones that were a bit too cheesy for my tastes. For example, there’s a scene in which Maddie finds Logan reading Pride and Prejudice and he’s wearing spectacles. She makes a big deal about him being a reader and I had to roll my eyes. There’s also a scene towards the end in which Maddie attempts to make haggis, and I hated it because it felt like it was inserted so Dare could check off a “Scottishism” in a list. Tartan? Check. Brogue? Check. Haggis? Check. The scene also erupted in random violence, too, which felt out-of-place and inserted for pointless drama towards the end of the novel.

But I will admit, I did like the scenes that were very self-aware about what Dare was doing. For example, there’s a scene in which Logan is debating about what to do to get Maddie into bed. His friends give him suggestions like “offer your heart to her on a platter” or “throw in a lot of oochs and bonny lasses when you speak” or “dive into the loch and have her go looking for you. Then, when she’s found you, pretend you don’t notice her and have her watch you bathe for a while. Then emerge from the lock all dripping wet.” This self-awareness was a nice stab at romance cliches, though I wish Dare had done a better job herself at avoiding them.

Characters: Maddie, our heroine, is fairly likeable in that she’s bookish, generous, and a bit clumsy at times. I liked that there was a juxtaposition between her confidence and her social anxiety: while she wasn’t afraid to assert herself in some situations, big crowds made her nervous, and I think navigating those two scenarios made for some interesting characterization. The main thing I didn’t like about Maddie was how quickly she seemed to give up her career ambitions for Logan. There’s a point where she has to make a choice between letting Logan go and following her dreams, and she claims that she’s choosing Logan even though the choice is really made for her based on sexist norms of the day. I would have liked to see her wrestle with her ambitions a little more.

Logan, our hero, has some admirable qualities, but in the end, I found him rather uninteresting. He’s your basic roguish Scotsman with a tragic past, and though I liked the loyalty he showed to his men, I ultimately though he was a little too jealous and a little too used to his orders being obeyed. I would have liked to see him be a little less dictatorial so that his romantic appeal would shine through a bit more brightly.

Side characters are charming but, in my opinion, underutilized. I liked all of Logan’s army buddies and appreciated that all of them had disabilities in some way (and those disabilities were important but didn’t define them). I really appreciated Maddie’s relationship with Grant, the soldier whose memory resets every hour or so. She was kind to him and he was sweet to her; I just didn’t think his random violent outburst towards the end was necessary or in-character. Maddie’s Aunt Thea could have also been used more effectively, but I did like that Thea had this quirk of making a lot of cosmetics and remedies that were, ultimately, rubbish. It was charming.

Romance: Logan and Maddie’s romance was... ok. The premise started out really interesting, but over time, I lost some enthusiasm because I felt like I was being told that they had feelings for each other (rather than being shown). Sure, Logan does some things that challenge Maddie’s assumptions and vice versa, but I wanted them to have a stronger basis for a romance than just “they’re hot and I’m horny oh wait they were nice to me and aren’t exactly what I expected.” Part of the reason I wasn’t super enthused might also be the focus on sex and sexual attraction as well as Maddie feeling pity for Logan on account of his past. I prefer romances where the focus is on each person lifting the other up emotionally, and while there was a little of that, I think I would have liked to see it be more of a centerpiece within the plot.

TL;DR: When a Scot Ties the Knot is a funny, light, historical romance, but ultimately doesn’t have a “meaty” enough plot for my personal tastes. Some readers might enjoy the banter and the heroine’s determination, while others might be turned off by the cheesiness and lack of a complex hero.

[mappinglasirena]

Bothersome Beams in Sirena’s Sickbay

You know how I’ve drawn a clean layout of the Captain’s Quarters to make it reflect the room as seen on screen by e.g. erasing the false door, adding in furniture and marks for the windows, etc? I've been doing that for a bunch of other places as well (toooootally not because I’m procrastinating the two Deep Dives I should be working on....), and a few days ago I started on sickbay. And now I'm stuck.

I've been staring at this so long my brain is turning to mush, so now you all get to suffer with me!

(Fair warning: there be loads of extremely pedantic observations ahead. I hope you like staring at deck plans :D)

This is the outline of sickbay on the deck plans from the blu-ray Set Me Up featurette:

(For orientation and because it will become important later: The front of the ship is on the right-hand side, the back is on the left.)

A quick reminder of the relevant main features: the round part of sickbay has walls that slope outward towards the top, a counter running along the wall around 2/5 of the way up, and three support beams cutting through the wall and the counter.

(Note that in reality, the beams are all straight across the top; they just appear curved here due to lense distortion.)

Looking at the concentric circles in the outline above, let’s try to figure out what’s what. Easiest: the broken grey lines, i.e. the largest two circles, surely must be where the wall meets the ceiling at its widest extension. (Here marked in blue.)

Next, when we look at the transition between the rectangular alcove at the back of the room (marked “med bay” in the plan) and the round “lab area”, we see that it’s smooth and there is no step in between.

(Again: the walls are straight, not curved, it looks that way because of lense effects.)

Given that and the thickness of the line, I think it’s safe to assume this is the outline of the wall, most likely at floor level:

These, as far as I can tell, are the windows at the front of the room, next to the door.

As you can see, they extend almost to the top of the wall and stop short of the unidentified outer circle. Looking at a screenshot...

...the windows sit right above the counter, so it makes sense that the remaining lines would be the outline of said counter (here in green):

So far so good.

Here’s the rub. I was trying to figure out what the vertical lines dividing the counter next to the support beams might be, when I noticed these four bits:

Those look like the places where the support beams cut through the counter.

That makes sense, right?

As you’ve probably noticed before, these beams run throughout the entire ship. We see them everywhere on the upper and lower deck, they are clearly the skeleton that holds Sirena together. You can tell how important they are to the structural integrity because all the deck plans have these vertical, broken grey lines to indicate where the beams are located.

Now, take another look at the markings where the beam towards the back of the room cuts through the counter (I magnified the one on the bottom left):

As you can see pretty clearly, the marking in the counter doesn’t line up with the normal position of the beams, indicated by the broken grey lines. It isn’t off by much. My rough estimate so far is that the beams are about a foot wide with seven feet between them, so this is a difference of maybe 15cm (~6″, apparently). But something is clearly strange here.

You can tell there’s something different at the back of the room, because where the beams in the middle and front are marked by long rectangles, the one in the back is only a small square. It looks almost as if there was only a single column on either side. If that was the case, it would probably mean that the beam at the back of the room was a fake, not technically connected to the beams at the rest of the ship like the middle and front ones.

But does that mean it was also moved a few centimetres further to the front? This has been driving me nuts.

There are a few possible explanations for what might be happening here.

1. I am wrong about those being the markers for where the beams cut through the counter. That is entirely possible.

2. Some changes were made to the set that aren’t yet reflected in this version of the layout. As I said elsewhere, these plans aren’t quite accurate to the final set in all details (e.g. the two steps between the mess hall and sickbay aren’t marked), so it’s possible that this is some intermediate version where the counter design varies a little from its final configuration.

3. The support beams at the back of sickbay do not line up with the beams in the rest of the ship. The production designers decided that they wanted sickbay to be the exact size we see in the plans, but for some logistical or aesthetic reason, having the beams at the back of the room in the logical position (i.e. parallel to the ones on the upper deck) didn’t work, so they moved them forward a little bit.

I cannot tell you how long I spent over the weekend trying to make heads or tails of this. 

At first I thought: Well, obviously the beams must have been moved to the front. The grey line marking where they should be goes right across the front of the rectangular bit of the room. They’d block the way if they were in the “correct” place, right?

Except I realized my spatial reasoning is woefully inadequate when trying to visualize a round room with sloped walls, so I did the only reasonable thing: I taught myself how to use SketchUp (again) to make a very, very crude 3D sketch of the relevant sections of this room.

Turns out: when you put the beam exactly where it’s supposed to go, it does actually work out okay. I know it’s a little too small here compared to what it should be...

...but that’s probably more due to my estimates for the thickness of the beams and especially the height of the room being off.

I did another version where I moved the beam forward so it sits where the counter is marked on the deck plan, and the difference is pretty negligible:

It looks a little closer to what we see on screen, but again, that’s probably more a miscalculation issue than an honest-to-god result.

As a last-ditch effort I had another look through my screenshot collection. My thinking was that if the beam was moved forward slightly from where it was “supposed” to be, that would mean we’d see more of it.

(On the left, the beam lines up with the grey lines. The area where it intersects with the counter (solid red) is smaller than in the right-hand example, where the beam was moved to align with the marking in the counter.)

Likewise, the distance the beams extend under the counter would be different, if not by much.

(The beam on the right is moved slightly towards the middle of the room. You can see that it dips lower than the beam on the left, which is in the “correct” position.)

If this was the case we should be able to see it in the screenshots, right? Except...

This is the view towards the front of the room. It’s difficult to tell with the perspective, but I don’t think there is much of a difference in how far the beam towards the front of the room (far right) and the one at the back of the room (far left) extend below the counter?

Maaayyybe there’s a difference there? But then again, if you compare how far they dip below the tops of the chests of drawers, that seems pretty similar...

And this is the point where I decided this insanity had gone on long enough and I should probably stop before my brain got entirely scrambled (since, sadly, I don’t have an EMH to unscramble it for me).

So, what’s the takeaway here?

1.: Short of somebody from the production team giving confirmation either way, we won’t know what happened here. I might have misread the set plan, the plan might have changed, or the beams might have been moved. It will have to remain a mystery until we get more shots with incontrovertible evidence, or somebody takes a measuring tape to the set and reports back ;9

2.: For the purposes of drawing a layout of sickbay, I’m going to assume the beams are in the correct position, since that makes more sense in-universe. I’ll move the counter markings accordingly. If I have to make a correction to that at some point, at least I have done the legwork and can refer back to this post instead of having to explain the whole issue again.

3.: Yes, I did just spend half the weekend obsessing over 15 centimetres, to the point where I taught myself SketchUp (again) and wrote a way too long blog post (I did warn you ;9 ), only to come to the conclusion that, as we say over here: “Nichts Genaues weiß man nicht.” - I guess we’ll never know. I have absolutely no regrets!

And finally 4.: staring at images of sickbay for hours on end really makes you appreciate just how beautiful that space is. Scroll up again and have a look at the screenshots. The way the circle repeats in the lights and the table and the concentric markings on the floor. The intricate holograms projected by the ceiling lights. The plants and tools all along the counters that give the room so much texture and make it seem like a real, lived-in place. The way the crisp black and white paint on the beams and the gleaming floor contrast with the cared-for but scuffed up plating and worn-off red paint all over the rest of Sirena... I just really love this ship, okay?

Anyway. If you have any thoughts on this, or you’ve noticed something I missed, I’d love to hear about it!

I was about to say “I promise the next post will be shorter”, but who are we kidding? My brain doesn’t do brief. And what is this blog for if not extremely rambly analyses that give us all an excuse to ogle screenshots of La Sirena for a few minutes?

[rumpledgoldenweaver]

A Weekend Away

Written for the @a-monthly-rumbelling February prompt “I think we’re lost”. Also @fluffapalooza if it’s still open :) Read it on my blog: https://earlyrisingwriting.home.blog/2021/02/14/a-weekend-away/

An opportunity arises for the Gold Boys to spend time together away from Storybrooke’s prying eyes.

Malcolm Gold – he’d adopted his son’s cursed surname, Stiltskin didn’t seem right, it only served to remind him of the anger he’d felt when naming his baby boy. He didn’t want anything to do with the name Peter Pan any more, Gold was a fresh start – was beginning to rue the day he’d agreed to joining his rapidly expanding family for a weekend at Rumple’s forest cabin. It’s like the tree houses in Neverland Neal had explained but on the ground. It’ll be fun Papa, his son had told him through obviously gritted teeth, Malcolm hadn’t missed the discreet elbow to the ribs Rumple had taken from Belle as she’d added that it would be an opportunity to talk away from the scrutiny of the towns folk. Henry had kept a commendable straight face at that remark considering she was referring to at least half of his family. Malcolm liked Belle. She was honest, trusting but not to be crossed. Just what his son needed to keep him in line. It was mainly because of her he’d agreed to come along.  

Malcolm had also been grateful to Belle for her advice regarding clothing in this new land. Although Rumple’s suits looked sharp, he didn’t want that many layers. Neal’s clothes were a bit too casual so he settled on trousers Henry had called Chinos, shirts with buttons, thin jumpers and boots called Timberland. Today he was particularly glad of the boots. Rumple had used magic to transport all the necessary clothes, food etc to the cabin, leaving Malcolm, Neal and Henry free to arrive on foot. Henry had been so excited at the thought of a hike through the forest with his Dad, no one had the heart to object.

“I think we’re lost” Malcolm tried to get his bearings however the trees all looked the same, he had no idea how far into the the forest they were.

“Lost Boys” sniggered Neal. Henry snorted which made his father laugh even more.

“Following the leader, the leader, the leader” sang Henry “We’re following the leader…”

“Wherever he may go” Neal joined in, the two of them dancing round in a circle.

“Very funny”

“You have no idea” laughed Neal “Have you seen the Disney film about Peter Pan yet?”

“The what?” Malcolm was still bemused by the popular cultures of the world he now lived in even though he’d got a better grasp of how it actually worked.

Henry grinned the kind of wicked grin Rumple would have been proud of “You’ll love it Gramps, especially Hook”

Neal’s eyebrows rose at the use of Gramps in relation to Malcolm

“What? I call Rumple Grandpa and Malcolm didn’t like Great Grandpa so Mum suggested Gramps”

“Which Mum?” though Neal had his suspicions

Henry didn’t answer but the glint in his eye was enough. Emma had an evil sense of humour.

“One of you must have been to this cabin before?”

“Neal shook his head “I arrived in town not long before the trip to Neverland but Papa and I weren’t exactly on friendly terms back then”

“I haven’t been either, I didn’t know Grandpa was my Grandpa and my mums weren’t about to let me hang out with The Dark One”

“Wonderful”

Neal looked around for minute or two, then as if some secret signal had been given he made an abrupt turn and set off down a path “Come on. It’s this way”

~

“Rumple will you please stop fussing. We have enough food to survive a small siege. There is no need to summon more”

“Have you ever fed a twelve year old boy? If his appetite is anything like Bae’s at that age then…” he felt a lump rise in his throat.

“Rumple?”

“Then I want to make sure there’s plenty”

“Oh Rumple” she hugged him hoping to both reassure and pull him out of this melancholy. He pulled her closer, nuzzling her hair, whispering a thank you sweetheart. Belle moved to kiss him and for the next couple of minutes there was a feeling of peace between them.

“Hi Grandpa Hi Belle sorry we’re.. oh…” Henry looked embarrassed at interrupting.  Belle giggled, Rumple never even turned round as he replied “Hi Henry”

“Are they here?” Neal’s voice carried through the door.

“Er...yes…they are.. here…”

“Is something up?” Neal strode into the living room and stopped dead “Oh for pities sake you two get a room!”

Rumple did turn this time “This is my cabin Bae and my room”

“Not in front of the wee ones eh Laddie?” Malcolm chuckled.

“Indeed”

“Rumple..” there was a warning tone to Belle’s voice “remember what we talked about”

“Hmm”

Ever the diplomat Henry piped up “Is there anything to eat? I’m starving”

“Yes of course Henry” smiled Belle “in the kitchen”

The young boy disappeared, returning within five minutes carrying a plate loaded with burger, fries, onion rings, various dips and salad. Rumple gave Belle a told you so look.

“He obviously appreciates his food” Malcolm watched in amusement at Henry giving the burger his full attention.

“Takes after his father” Rumple nodded towards Neal as he too went to the kitchen and brought back a plate piled high.

Conversation remained light hearted as they ate, comments about both Neal and Henry having hollow legs because of their hearty appetites. Rumple found he was nearly enjoying himself. Nearly being better than not at all as Belle reminded him earlier.

“Where on earth did all the food come from anyway?” Malcolm asked as he debated which of the many desserts to try.

“I summoned it” Rumple replied reaching for a cupcake.

“Magic” Neal raised a suspicions eyebrow.

“Only to bring it here. It’s not magic food. I’ve paid Granny’s chef triple his wages to cook a steady supply especially for us”

“Fair enough” Neal took a satisfied mouthful of cake.

“More tea anyone?” Belle stood up and began collecting the various cups and mugs strewn around the room

“Coffee if you have it please”

“Of course Bae, I’ll put the pot on. Coffee has it’s own magic Dearie” he twirled his arms, turned on his heel and practically skipped out after Belle.

The expression on Henry’s face was priceless.

~

When everyone had eaten their fill, plates, cups and cutlery washed, dried and put away by hand not magic Rumple keenly pointed out, Henry suggested they watch a film. Malcolm being particularly interested in the idea of a a “moving book” being shown on something called a TV screen. Then began the debate over which one to put on. Whilst there wasn’t a great deal of choice amongst the DVD’s at the cabin, Rumple would be happy to summon whichever was decided on. Mostly it was left to Neal and Henry as they had the widest knowledge of such things. It seemed to Malcolm to be a very complicated process.

“Nothing over a PG”

“Awww Dad! I’m twelve! I can watch..”

“No. Your Mothers would find a hundred ways to kill me, bring me back to life and kill me all over again if they found out you’d watched anything remotely inappropriate”

“Grandpa would protect you”

“Oh no no no” laughed Rumple “Do not bring me into this. I argued with both of them over many things but even I have limits”

“What about that.. Disney thing you mentioned on the way here? Would that be allowable?”

All eyes turned to Malcolm.

“You mean Peter Pan?” Henry looked sceptical.

“Yeah.. that. I’d like to see it”

Rumple and Belle exchanged a look before he got up and went into the main bedroom. There followed the sound of keys turning in locks and a safe being opened.

“You keep Disney DVD’s in a vault Papa?”

“Along with a few other items I was unsure about at first yes”

“Such as?”

“Such as none of your business son” he walked back into the living room brandishing the disc “You can do the honours Bae”

It could, Belle mused to herself long after everyone else had retired for the night, have gone a lot worse.  For instance everyone agreed that the physical resemblance between the cartoon and the person was actually rather accurate. They had all laughed like drains at Captain Hook. Belle honestly thought she’d have to give medical attention to Rumple and Malcolm as their hysterics gave way to mighty coughing fits. Neal and Henry sang along with the songs, Never Smile At A Crocodile didn’t go down very well with Rumple at first but he saw the funny side in the end. When it came to Following The Leader, the youngest father and son immediately leapt to their feet and began dancing round the room in a repeat of their antics in the forest earlier.

“So that’s where that song came from” groused Malcolm.

There seemed to be an unspoken agreement to not discuss certain details regarding film versus real life, for that Belle was grateful. She knew the relationships in that room were complicated, messy, quite possibly very unhealthy and could keep Archie Hopper on Rumple’s pay roll for decades. Whilst she believed talking about these issues was healthy, this weekend was not the time or the place. For once no one was arguing, for once certain townsfolk weren’t around to stick their well intentioned (or otherwise) noses in. She wondered if inviting her own father for a weekend here might help ease tensions between him and her boyfriend. Maybe leave it a month or so before she suggested that.

“What are you smirking at?” Rumple came from the en suite,  pulled the bed covers back and climbed in bed beside her. Her eyes gleamed with mischief.

“Don’t you dare Belle” he warned, which was the wrong thing to say because of course she dared.

“Never smile at a crocodile..”

“I’m warning you young lady”

“No you can’t get friendly with a crocodile…” she sang between giggles.

“Right then”

And he proceeded to show her how friendly crocodiles could be when they wanted to.