#i already ranted bout it and god

[whatmyface]

WHAT THE FUCK

[sleep-0-deprived]

HEYYY I CAN REQUEST KITSUNE!DAZAI WITH TOP!SUB!READER, WITH BREEDING KINK AND WITH A BIT OF FOREPLAY, AMAB OF COURSE (PLEASE KITSUNE DAZAI HAS BEEN LEAVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE AND THERE ISN'T ENOUGH KITSUNE DAZAI BLOGS)

Desperation ~

Kitstune dazai x dom bottom male reader

Female aligned dni and Mdni this is an 18+ only blog with nsfw below the cut

A/N edited omg your right there aren’t hardly any kistune dazai fics and him with breeding! I think we have the same mind there anyway enough with my rant hope you enjoy I just saw I did your request backwards I’m so sorry bout that!

Mating season, it was something dazai knew all too well and he absolutely loved and hated it all together, he hated feeling the desperation to breed between his legs but god did you love breeding you although to his disappointment he could never knock you up? But oh well he’ll keep trying!

So here he was under you gasping and whining “pleasee I need to be inside you baby!~” begging as his cock twitches in your hand while stroking his hard cock as it drips pre cum all over your hand making a sticky mess as his tail wags his ears laying flat “you need to breed huh? Wanna stuff me already?”

You ask as your hand finds its way to his shaft while he try’s to fuck his cock into your fist making his cock pulse as your grip “yes! Mhm needa fill you up baby please let me stuff your hole—“

dazai groans and pounces on you pleading as his cock slips from your hand twitching as haunt your thigh as he begs with his tail swaying.

“So tempting dazai? You’re always so needy when it’s mating season….” Rolling your eyes as you push him on his back on your bed with his head against the head board as you undo your pants slipping your boxers off leaving your cock springing hard up against your stomach.

“N-no baby please don’t want you to ride me~! I wanna fuck you this time I wanna mount you wanna be on top pleasee~!” He pleaded looking up at you as he lays rock hard with his cock hard and needy for your attention “hm? What’s that? Maybe I should let you just this once since your being so good dazai!”

Giggling as you nod allowing him to be on top of you fucking you as you lay on your chest letting your ass stay raised up as you turn your head guiding his cock to your ass as your rim puckers around his tip making his thighs tremble his ears laying flat.

He lays on top of you whining like some lost puppy as he shoved his cock inside you letting your walls clench and suck around his cock all warm as your rim stretches wide adjusting to him.

“Baby please please! Needa move my hips!” Dazai drools in your ear kissing and licking your neck all over from behind trembling to keep his hips from moving as he fights the urge to start fucking you like a rabbit with his tail twitching and flicking at the end.

“You can move dazai~” you nod with a small moan as he holds your hips tightly digging his nails into you without wasting a second he starts pounding into you capping and putting right into your ear making you grip hold of the bed sheets tight “thank you! thank you baby I love you so much!~”

dazai drools out all high on sex pollen as he thrusts snapping his hips rapidly making your ass cheeks red as he holds you his arms around you moving from your hips starting to thrust as his cock jumps his tip leaking hard inside your ass stretching you out as he nails your prostate making you roll your eyes back.

“That’s good dazai~ keep goin just like that~” you whine out as you bite on the bed sheets drooling going numb to the pleasure beneath the horny kitsune knowing he was always so erratic moving his hips so fast fucking you desperately.

Dazai keeps gripping you like a possession about to be ripped away as his kistune senses flair up in his head not thinking anything except “must breed” as he fucks you nibbling on the back of your neck as he lays on your back mounting you making your bed creak.

“Gonna make you so full~ carrying my litter tummy bloated please let me please~!” Dazai slips one hand off your hip gripping your ass cheek tightly rubbing circles pinching it making your rim stretch wide for his girth.

“your gonna cum aren’t you dazai?~” you moan out feeling his tip twitching and the stutter in his hips feeling yourself close as he nails your prostate making your own cock jump in arousal dripping your own pre cum on the not so pristine sheets.

“Mh hmm~ m gonna cu—“ before he can whine out the rest of his words he gasps gripping your skin tight drooling on the back of your neck shoving himself as deep inside you he can go as he hits your deepest parts cumming staining your insides white as it rubs against your prostate just right all the sensations building up pushing you over the edge to as your cock tip drips a few more beads of pre cum before cumming all over the bed sheets with thick white ropes spitting out messily making you gasp trembling with your hands balled up in the sheets arching your back.

“Y-yes dazai!~” you manage to muster out as you feel your body full your ass stuffed full of his cum making it bloat slightly from receiving your fill but that doesn’t stop dazai, he’s too far loopy and needy only being able to think about breeding you not accepting the fact your a human man nope! You just need more cum that’s all? And he’ll gladly supply you with it!

“Need be bred more~ “dazai purrs out his ears drooping low on his head as he lays on top of you still buried deep inside you mounting you as you lay beneath him still stuffed full while his hips stutter and start fucking you again whining his pupils all dilated gripping your hips bruising them as your ass clenched around him abused and overstimulated easily from being stretched open for so long.

“That’s it dazai~!” You groan dropping your head in the bed sheets as his tail wags rapidly and his hands tremble as ropes of his cum get pumped in and out of you coating his shaft as he fucks you harder pounding your prostate with his body filled with the desperation and the need to breed you to knock you up to give you a litter. Wanting to impregnate you with kits needing you to be the mommy for them despite you being a man.

His brain is clouded in a lust filled fog irrationally imagining you pregnant as he keeps pumping his hips already close to cumming again as he licks the back of your neck trying to coat you in his scent as your mouth goes agape your eyes rolled back blabbering incoherient moans.

“Close ~ “groaning out as your cock pulses hard again with your second orgasm crashing over you like a wave while he fucks you through it leaving your ears ringing as your load spills all over the messy sheets only further staining them with your load as the room is filled with sticky sounds and the squelching of your now wet ass pumped with cum as he twitches inside you when your walls tighten around him.

“Needa breed you more~” dazai rambles drunkenly in your ear gasping as sweat coats his thin body as he lays on top of you snapping his hips harder as his cock pulses Cumming for the second time as his hips stutter pressing as deep as he can trying to make sure not a drop of him is wasted.

“O oh ng~ more cum~” he purrs out drooling on the back of your neck with his fluffy ears laying flat on his head with his tail swaying behind him as he holds still in you with your stomach full swelling slightly as his cum oozes out around his cum obviously over filled but dazai can’t stop now! That’s only two load? You need more to get pregnant right? Well he’ll just have to keep going til your pregnant then!

[diorsluv]

feather , part 10

“ i’m saying ‘no, no, no, no more�� ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, adamfantilli, mackie.samo, and 74,028 others

yourusername little women hurt my brain so i went back to my happy place (aka gossip girl)

view all comments

edwards.73 i’m kinda scared to ask but uh… what’s the difference between gossip girl and gilmore girls

→ yourusername unfollow me rn

→ colecaufield wait no he’s valid (i don’t know the difference either)

→ yourusername both of u have asked me this 20 times already. i’m blocking u two.

markestapa i know the difference between gossip girl and gilmore girls!

→ mackie.samo me too!!

→ yourusername yeah bc u come to my place for gossip girl marathons like every other day

username64 LITTLE WOMEN

username78 FLORENCE PUGH OH MY GOD

jackhughes little women gives me war flashbacks

→ yourusername i wonder why 🤨

→ jackhughes hmmm maybe because you CALLED ME FOR 5 HOURS STRAIGHT JUST TO RANT TO ME ABOUT IT

→ yourusername IM SORRY

username14 is no one gonna talk about how she posted this at 2 in the morning 😭😭

bookerburke_ gossip girl is the one with the guy that played sam in supernatural right

→ yourusername no sweetie that’s gilmore girls…..

→ cole.caufield HEY HOW COME YOU’RE NICE TO HIM ABOUT IT BUT NOT US yourusername

username21 at least bertram isn’t in one of the pics this time

→ username35 LMAO BERTRAM

username69 i’m kinda sorta in love with your taste in tv shows and movies

yourusername

liked by jackhughes, adamfantilli, trevorzegras, and 82,185 others

yourusername went through my old photos and i guess this is sort of a photo dump.. if u ask me to explain the pics i might…….

so for all the trev, luke, jack, quinn, luca, mark, rut, turcs, eddy, and mackie girls, i hope you’re happy 🫶🫶

tagged: trevorzegras, _quinnhughes, mackie.samo, edwards.73, jackhughes, lhughes_06, _alexturcotte, rutgermcgroarty, luca.fantilli, markestapa

view all comments

lhughes_06 please for the love of god don’t explain the cow photo

→ username44 what happened in the cow photo 😧

→ yourusername okay username44 so basically i walked out of my parents house and i saw luke’s dumbass in a cow suit standing right next to my car

→ lhughes_06 I WAS 16 AND JACK SAID IF I DID IT HE’D DO MY CHORES FOR TWO WEEKS

adamfantilli why didn’t you post me 🫤🫤

→ yourusername i didn’t have any old bad pics of you 😕

username4 quinner is contemplating his life in that fishing pic

luca.fantilli okay but that cake was kind of good

→ yourusername uh huh maybe bc i made it

→ luca.fantilli ok i don’t know bout all THAT 🤣

→ yourusername ur the worst fantilli brother

trevorzegras i didn’t know everyone fell asleep on top of me on the couch 😅😅

_alexturcotte let me just say i beat cole in arm wrestling

→ cole.caufield yeah butttt who got the bigger gains??

→ _alexturcotte oh shut up

→ yourusername it’s okay turcs, not everyone’s as strong as cauliflower here

→ _alexturcotte BUT I LITERALLY BEAT HIM?? yourusername

→ cole.caufield hey lil drizzy i thought we left that nickname in 2020 🙃

markestapa you know i actually rode that skateboard pretty well

→ yourusername you fell flat on your ass

username76 i love how she’s exposing EVERYONE

edwards.73 hey it was fun getting thrown into the pool

→ yourusername says the one that started screaming bloody fuckin murder as soon as he hit the water

mackie.samo i look so disheveled eating that cake

rutgermcgroarty see me and jack held each other up in that second photo bc we’re just too strong for our own goods

→ jackhughes 🗣️🗣️

→ yourusername whatever helps you sleep at night

next chapter notes ) i’m actually grinding these chapters out it’s insane this one was really fun to make, esp the second post 😈😈 and also no booker this time so i hope yall like it a bit more lmaooo

[fatuismooches]

Thinking bout all the other harbingers being able to tell that Dottore is in love with the reader before he himself realises. God forbid his clones realise before prime does as well 💀

Over time, Dottore doesn't realize how many privileges he has extended to you. In the beginning, he did, he always reminded you of them so you would be aware of how lucky you were and that you shouldn't take it for granted or disappoint him, or else. But as time passed and he very unconsciously grew fond of you, he didn't think much of it. He didn't think much of you brewing his coffee even when he didn't ask for it or how he allowed you to put your hands on him, let you rant to him and he genuinely listened and somehow felt comfortable enough to do the same to you.

It just becomes a... routine, and it doesn't set in exactly. But what does set in is how his chest twists around into something ugly when he sees the other Harbingers get a little too close to you for his liking. (His liking? When did he start associating that with you?) The look Pantalone and Bina share with each other is priceless. Dottore doesn't understand why the banker always asks about you when they meet. (What is he planning?)

No one has to say it, because it's so obvious. Obvious to everyone except Dottore, of course. I imagine since the clones are kind of like extensions of him, perhaps they can feel his feelings to a certain extent...? Even if not, they're not dumb... they can see how often he whisks you away to stay lengthy hours in his office helping him when the segments need your help in the lab... yet their creator still acts as if you are nothing to him... (Not to mention how whenever the segments get a bit close to you, a bit too cuddly, suddenly Prime appears and snatches you away. It's not fun, just admit your feelings already, love).

[dichromaticdyke]

GUYS I'M HAVING ANOTHER BOUT OF DIVINE MADNESS

i've been seing posts here and there expressing disappointment at aotd not giving us more answers about the lore of Salacia and the Whale Prophet and all that, and i agree, it's a bit disappointing to not know definitively what's going on with them.

BUT.

I THINK THE LORE WAS IN FRONT OF US THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME.

if you liked my analysis of "Aortic Desecration," "SOS," and "Blazing Star," then hopefully you'll like my analysis (and HEAVY theorizing) of Dethklok's most enigmatic running theme—the "Murmaider" trilogy of songs.

okay strap in i'm probably gna sound like charlie day's pepe silvia rant. i'm gonna start just by breaking down the story of the "Murmaider" trilogy i'll also be skipping any lyrics in the songs that aren't directly connected to by analysis/theory (such as the parts where nathan is just listing different murder weapons or chanting "murmaider").

so, starting with murmaider. this is the only song of the trilogy to actually make an appearance in the show, with the other two being exclusive to their respective dethalbums, but even still, this song only plays for a few seconds, and it's just the chorus. this song appeared in "dethwater," the same episode that established dethklok's connection to the water. this episode also notably featured toki's guitar picking up the sounds of whales (something that would later be revisited when edgar noticed this in season 4 and began decoding the whales' messages).

There are no fingerprints deep underwater Nothing to tie one to a crime And if you seek vengeance All you need are instruments of pain

so the story being established here is pretty clear. some unknown protagonist that nathan is speaking to is going to kill someone underwater so that he can seek vengeance and not get caught.

But beware For when you quench your bloodthirst Others will seek vengeance on you And they won't rest until you're dead

nathan warns this protagonist that his actions will cause those related to the victim to seek vengeance on him. fair enough.

Hold your breath and swim and strain Smell of death, can't escape Blood will cloud, drift away Attract the murders of mermaids It's so cold, they all know What you've done, you can't run Vengeance is the law for thee A thousand leagues below the sea

this is where it starts to get interesting. the fact that those that are seeking vengeance on our protagonist are mermaids says to me that the initial victim was a mermaid. if not a mermaid, they were at least some kind of sea creature. otherwise, why would the mermaids care all that much? care to the point of vengeance? but the next portion sinks this theory for me.

You've been tracked, you've been seen Murdering the next of kin Ate their hearts, drank their blood Washed your fins in blackened mud

"murdering the next of kin" is very important. next of kin to what? or to whom? did our protagonist kill a mermaid/sea creature's child?

Now you swim, try to hide Heart beats faster from inside Thought it was a big charade Your life was ended by mermaids

so our protagonist tries to escape from the mermaids seeking vengeance on him, hiding in the water, but in the water, the mermaids are able to find him, and they kill him.

now let's look at murmaider ii: the water god. already, this song seems important, namedropping a god and all.

The gods watch over you And they consider what you've done But now you've hidden away to gain your strength Deep in a cave Your power is regained And your legacy has spread to the deepest of the sea The one that brought them vengeance That fights for his belief

now, this is where the theorizing really starts to come in. who is this that nathan is speaking to? this figure that nathan is speaking to here is a figure that has "brought [...] vengeance." specifically, it seems that they've brought vengeance to the gods that now watch over them. is this the same protagonist as in "Murmaider?" that seems impossible, as it's implied that that protagonist died. though that protagonist was bringing vengeance, but we're not sure whom to. we also don't know for sure if the mermaids who allegedly killed the previous protagonist are gods or work with gods. put a pin in this.

He can swim through matter He has poisoned teeth His tentacles have murdered His scream can kill the weak He's got explosives (check) Corrosives (check) A master of the art of murder Mermaids weep the blackened tears

despite this being in third person, this still is referring to the protagonist whom nathan is speaking to. this is a direct continuation of nathan speaking about his legacy as "the one that brought them vengeance / that fights for his belief." this is establishing the power that the protagonist has. anyway, mermaids crying blackened tears over this protagonist? seems important.

So you swim to a sunken ship Invited by a soul who bleeds from the lips The prophet, who beckons you, wades in the dark Speaks an ancient language, this language is of sharks

HEY LOOK A WATER PROPHET, THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR. however, this isn't the water prophet we're most familiar with—we're familiar with a whale (not a shark) whom is referred to with she/her pronouns (not he/him). but that doesn't mean this isn't important. put up another pin.

He says, "You're the one that I decree The one who can save us and set us free You've gained the power of a deity You have the strength to wake us from this sleep" [...] And the prophet gives to you this warning: "If this path is chosen you'll be met with strife For you'll be seen as an enemy of the sacred And the gods will curse you for the rest of your life" And you say, "I get by just fine (check) I've known much worse life (check) I've conquered dark times (check) They should fear my might (check)"

so this shark prophet, as i'll refer to him, is telling our protagonist that, because of their power, they will get the right to further divine powers so long as the protagonist uses this power to help..."us." however, in freeing the nebulous "us," this puts our protagonist in conflict with the gods and other holy/sacred beings. this doesn't dissuade our protagonist, having full confidence in his abilities and power.

So now you know then, go then Swim on through the cold then Harness your strength Because one day you may be called To meet the mighty gods Deep within the ocean And if you're not prepared Your soul will not be spared

OKAY BOYS, HERE'S WHERE IT'S GETTING FUCKING INTERESTING. our protagonist is told to lay low, gather strength, and wait for the moment when they will go up against the ocean deities. again, DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR? don't forget this, but take out that pin from earlier. this protagonist is the same protagonist as in "Murmaider." he didn't die—his "life was ended," but given his divine power and strength, that doesn't necessarily mean death in the permanent sense. the mermaids were bitterly weeping about this protagonist, someone that they thought they had killed but whom is still alive, getting stronger, waiting...

Your eyes have gone black You'll never look back You'll never stop swimming You'll always be tracked Your life has transformed Your power has grown Your minions stretch for leagues For a bloodied coral throne A crown of murdered foes Will sit upon your head Those that wish to challenge you Will wish that they were dead The beasts of the sea will collect and submit Pray for your forgiveness and live as you permit

okay, pretty straightforward yet again. the protagonist is getting stronger, hiding away from the mermaids, gathering minions, killing those in his way. "the beasts of the sea will collect and submit." this is a warning.

And you say, "I am the water god You will bow to the water god You will live for the water god And you will die for the water god" [...] And the deities loom nearer They will find you

the power has gone to our protagonist's head. he is demanding fealty, proclaiming his own divinity, whilst the true divine beings continue to track him down.

okay. murmaider iii. let's look at the conclusion of this story.

The blackened deep The coral keep The dying king Will no one weep? Ruled in fury Incurred his debt This wretched prize Crown of regret Scavenger Savager Blasphemer Vile Violator Tormentor Murmaider Guile

once again, pretty straightforward. our protagonist, who had decided himself a water god, a ruler, is dying. he's been a vicious ruler, and he may have regrets over this, but he also may not wish to go back on anything he's done.

Within this dying sea The Murmaid Three arrive These witches have foreseen The end of everything

three hags with the power of foresight? damn that's crazy, i too love the three fates from greek mythology.

They say, "Your power blinds you Your DETH will find you Vengeance from your enemies Your kingdom crushed, your subjects bleed Refuse defiance Forge this alliance From the land (check), from the sky (check) And from the blackened fire"

so, the murmaid three are giving our protagonist a chance to avoid his fate of a vicious death. let's note, firstly, that the spelling DETH is important in mtl, as this is the spelling used when referring to the dethlights, and other divine power harnessed by dethklok. but looking past that because we haven't gotten to the analysis portion yet, our protagonist has already forged alliances with land and sky deities, just not from the deities of blackened fire. interesting, blackened fire is also a reoccurring theme in mtl, i wonder if that's important.

The end's approaching (We survive) Darkness encroaching (We survive) This nautic land (We survive) Our final stand (We will swim, check) We will swim (We will fight, check) We will fight (In the deep, check) In the deep

the protagonist doesn't seem to care about forging this alliance, instead choosing to fight.

The final dream The gleaming reef The silver light The murmaids sing The blackened fire The blazing sky The pluming ink The sea beast cry His final sleep But we survive

hey wow, namedropping "Murmaider," "Black Fire Upon Us," and "Blazing Star" all in one verse? damn that's crazy. anyway the protagonist fucking died, but "we" survives. i think the "we" is meant to be dethklok, like. just pretty clearly. nathan and dethklok have never been portraying anyone besides themselves in this series of songs, just singing to/about the protagonist.

anyway, i think this was all about salacia and the whale prophet, with salacia being our protagonist.

i think salacia, back when he was a proper god, fully fused with the four other souls, was a powerhungry god. at some point, he felt wronged by the whale prophet in some way or another, and he killed her child. the mermaids went to try to get vengeance on him, and they thought they killed him, but what they really did was separate the four souls from him, sending them into the doomstar.

salacia fled the ocean from her. now that he was so wounded and only at half his power and strength, staying in the water would allow the whale prophet to find him. this shark prophet in the story, though, is a figure that doesn't show up anywhere in mtl. but we know that salacia can change form, so, why not the whale prophet? though, yes, she wants vengeance too, but she also wants to see what he's capable of. she needs to know what she's up against, after all. she tells him just to rest up, wait for when she calls upon him. but he doesn't do that. he harnesses further power from her, using it to start a reign of terror.

eventually though, he realizes the truth of what/who she is, and he flees the water. out of the water, he no longer has connection to the whale prophet's power, and his own natural powers are dwindling. this would be around the time that he starts the tribunal in a final attempt to regain his lost power. the tribunal is his alliance with the land (check), and his attempt to seek power from the doomstar and the four souls is his alliance with the sky (check). that just leaves dethklok as the blackened fire. i'm not gonna go into a whole analysis of "black fire upon us" to prove i'm right, but they've been connected with the imagery of blackened fire for a long time...ughh i'll get into it in another post. but anyway, salacia doesn't foster an alliance with dethklok, instead using and harming them to get what he wants. the blazing doomstar endows dethklok with the power of the dethlights, and they use that power to send salacia back to the water, where the whale prophet devours him, finally getting her vengeance from what he'd done all those years ago.

this all might be a stretch. as i was finishing this, i was starting to think i was crazy, and maybe i am. maybe i'm way overthinking this, and we'll never truly know what the hell was going on with salacia and the whale prophet and all that god stuff. that's fine with me, tbh. but i hope you all like my little theory, this took me two hours to write once i thought of it while waiting for the bus.

[msbhagirathi]

IPKKND LIVE BLOG SEASON 1 [Epi. 6]

Come, let's begin.

1. Episode starts with Khushi flashing back to all the horrible moments that happened that day. Mind you, this is the same day going on, the day just after Payal's marriage broke and the day all of them went to The Dargah.

2. The same day Arnav and Khushi had their fight regarding Gods and their existence. Then him releasing those clippings and the Mul Rajani part and Khushi in the market with her parents and all of a sudden people giving her annoying glares and muttering things about her character, then their encounter with Shyam and coming back to GS, her parents' decision to send her away to Delhi and then finally, them going to the office of that news channel and her finding out about him, releasing those clips. Uff. A lot to happen in a single day. I think, they forgot to end a day, in between. Lol. Enough. Now back to the epi.

3. Khushi is adorably ranting about her horrible day which was made even more horrible by that 'Laard Gorverner'. (Yes that's the official spelling for me now. But who cares? Lol.)

4. I don't think we should take it jokingly tho but I don't know why did they show as if Khushi is intrigued by him more than being indifferent to his existence completely. She's already given him a nick name and keeps using it, at every chance she gets.

5. She's got insulted by almost the entire Lucknow and her neighborhood and yet they show as if she is not that serious with his misbehavior and him in general entirely for something so terrible that happened to her. She never even mentioned it at least once about this incidence later.

I agree that they did it for the show, but still, they could have shown her anger, her indifference like they did it in the guesthouse track. The fierce and no-nonsense Khushi. Whatever.

6. While she is recalling her opinion regarding "Bina dil ki Dilli, machis ki tilli." (It's a rhyme made for Delhi and it's heartless people.) There, Shyam comes up, after stalking and following her from that office and is now pretending as if he was passing from there and merely happened to coincidently see her there too. Bloody b_stard.

7. Now. Tell me. How did he know it was her father's 'batua' ? Okay. Fine. His photo must have been there. And address too. Coz he reveals that he was coming to her house. And Khushi is caught off guard by the revelation, but seeing her astonishment he quickly diverts her attention by twisting his answer. KHUSHI!? DON'T IGNORE YOUR GUT INSTINCT OKAY!?! DON'T!!! I AM WARNING YOU OF THIS LEECH!

8. Lol. Who am I kidding? This is the same girl who was in denial of her feelings for a certain someone, okay let's not go there right now.

9. Btw, this is for all the girls who are reading this. Never ignore your gut-instinct or more precisely the girl-instinct. Never ever. Be very aware of who is around you for what purpose or intention. Now. Back to the epi.

10. Khushi, naively, tells him everything about who she knows there and who is she going with. Girls, I am warning you again. Never indulge into a complete stranger, let alone giving them info bout yourself or your location.

11. She did not have to tell him, any of that. Don't be too good for your own good, Khushi, please.

12. The atmosphere in GS is very melancholic as they complete their last minute packings and babuji comes and offers a spoonful of dahi-chini. Khushi has tears in her eyes but probably this is the last time that she would cry and anyone would not get affected by it, because after this Arnav would always, always, always get hugely affected whenever he would find Khushi crying. Ok. Ab chalo, Dilli.

13. The sun dawns, the next day and we find ourselves standing on the busy roads of Delhi, outside the railway station.

14. Khushi complains about the speeding cars and compares them to the ones in Lucknow.

15. Buaji demonstrates the method to cross a road, this busy. Buaji, leave the girls, even I won't be able to cross the road the way you did. You are unique, Buaji. You are you. No one can be you. Lol.

16. The girls fret over a little, but nervously start to cross the road. But, ultimately, they end up creating, a traffic jam.

17. Hahahahaahahah. The auto scene always gets me. Lol. Buaji tries to get in the auto, while complaining about the size of the 'darwajja' (door). And when she gets in from this side, Khushi falls down from the other side. Lol.

18. "Humara auto mein toh teen ka hee permit hai, mataji." "Toh hum kaa chaar dikhayi de rahe haen?" *smacks the driver* "Chal nikaal riksa." Lol. (My auto permits only three people, ma'am. Do we seem to be four people, here? *smacks the driver* Now come on start the riksha.)

19. So. Tho. Funnily portrayed. But, sad, as well. The driver adjusts the mirror to stare at Khushi while driving and Khushi is well aware, so she covers her face with her dupatta. This. Right, here. You won't believe but this kind of behavior is so damn common, even I have faced these kinds of situations. I HATE THIS. I DESPISE THIS. I DOWNRIGHT ABHORE THIS. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH. Enough. Now get back to the epi.

20. They are there. Laxminagar. They get out of the riksa. Buaji asks the fare and the driver says it's 200. Khushi feels that it is ridiculously high. She starts arguing but the driver says he is ready to dismiss the fare for her, in a very flirtatious tone. So, Khushi being Khushi, pulls a suitcase so hard, that it smacks his head from the back, before giving a final blow, she says "Maaf kijiye, Bhaiyyaji. (scowls)" Lmao. I love Khushi.

21. Buaji tells them about the situation of water supply in Delhi. And, she goes inside the house. Khushi and Payal share their feelings of the 'weird' experiences they faced up until now.

22. AND. HI BITWA. Oh. When did you land in Delhi? You know what your wife has also arrived in Delhi. Ahhhhhhh. The cravat. (😍) Lol. ASR guitar BG score is so soothing. Arnav is leaving for office. Anjali di has made his 'favorite' Bhuni methi ke parathe (roasted fenugreek seeds' flatbread) "Side rakhne ke liye nahi de rahe hain, kha lena." Lol.

23. Anjali di reminds him to come back home early as today Naniji is coming back from her pilgrimage to Vaishno Devi and there is a puja at their house. But, our chhotte straight up refuses to 'waste' his precious time in 'these' things and asks her to make up some excuse for his absence.

24. Anjali di is reminded of the 'prasaad' that she has to make for the puja so after saying, "Chhotte tum na bohot baatein karte ho, dekha sab gadbad karaa di, hum chalte hein, bye.", (when she did all the talking and didn't even let her chhotte speak a single word. Lol.), she leaves. Her chhotte is left incredulous at her antics.(Those who say that he started smiling or feel any positive emotion only after Khushi came into his life permanently, SEE THAT, GO AND OPEN THE EPISODE.)

25. Phuphaji? Worked? In? Railways? Lol. See this.

26. "Tohre hoth bijli aawat nahi, girat hai girat. Dham dharaam." Lol. Buaji. I hate to admit this. But. You are so damn right.

27. "Haan. Jaise aaj aap girin." Famous Last Words Ft. Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada.

28. And Buaji throws a cushion at her for spitting the fact of the century. Buaji. Please let her be.

29. Did I say it earlier? I think not enough. I will say it again. Babuji is the only person who can read Khushi so well.

30. Hmm. So. Buaji. WHAT IS YOUR DAMN PROBLEM, HUH? Whatever.

31. Buaji makes fun of her tears. Why Buaji why? Why do you exist?

32. Khushi and Payal enter ~what seems to be like~ their room as Khushi describes it aptly- Kamra nahi puratatva vibhaag ki site (Not a room but an archaeological site. Lol. I snorted.)

33. Both the sisters take up the meticulous job of cleaning the room.

34. One jerk of the dirty bedsheet and Buaji is immediately having an attack of asthma from all the dirt shoved her way.

35. Both of them panic and help her lay down on the bed. Khushi rushes to find her pump but to their utter dismay, it's empty.

36. Khushi snatches her basta and phone and rushes out to buy a new one. She takes Paaji's scooter along with her.

37. Bitwa informs his manager that he is crossing Connaught Place and that he will be there for the meeting in ten minutes.

38. His manager further goes on to give him a 'good' news that 'that fashion show wali ladki' has been humiliated so much by the people that she has left the city altogether (Arnav, did you send your men to keep a check on your dear wife Khushi?)

Arnav admonishes him for wasting his 'precious' time. (Tell me something honestly Bitwa, you did feel bad for her, even if it was just for a fleeting second, didn't you?)

And just as he says the line that it doesn't affect him even if she leaves the country, Khushi's reflection appears on the side glass of his car and she whoosh pasts him in a second. (Watch out Bitwa, she is definitely not in some other country but in the same city as you, not very far too, so be careful, you might fall in love.)

39. And, now yet another time, Khushi is on a scooter with a funny-looking helmet and she is driving.....or more like running, skidding, jumping but in a scooter way. Lol. This is her 'Hum Khushi Kumari Gupta' style driving.

(Remember the 'Hum Khushi Kumari Gupta' style running, skidding, jumping, i referred to in Epi. 3? This is the driving edition. Lol. Whatever.)

40. Okay, one more point, after that i am coming back to the epi. See, the last time, Khushi was on the scooter and where did she end up? Infront of her husband Arnavji.

This time as well she is on a scooter, so where will she end up? Not very hard to guess it, i think? Kyun meri Parmeswariyon? *winks*

41. So. Now. Back to the epi.

42. Payal informs her sister that 'pados wale Kaul uncle' had brought a pump for Buaji and now she is fine but Khushi insists that she should get her a new one anyways.

43. And. Within a few moments. Sure enough. She takes a turn towards the wrong side and runs right into a car; scratching it all the way along with one of the mirrors from the scooter, crashing into pieces on the road, within a few seconds.

44. She picks up the broken glass and guiltily walks towards the driver's side of the car only to come face to face with her husband Arnavji.

45. I love how her guilty expression immediately changes into something more like she is about to admonish him for his 'mischiefs'.

46. And our Bitwa. Oh damn. Just look at his positively delicious face and that expression is something like 'Oh. Damn. Uss ullu ke patthe ne toh kahan tha ki isne sheher chor diya tha. Toh phir yeh yahan kya kar rahi hai. Ab tera kya hoga Arnav.' Lol. No. Its something like 'Shit. Shit. Shit. Arnav. Shit. You are a gone case now. No one can save you from falling for this beautiful girl.' Lol. No. You decide his inner thoughts from this expression. A homework for y'all. I will ask y'all in the next one.

47. But look at that face tho. *keeps staring at the screen* *doesn't realize that the screen is now flashing the precap* Shit. Shit. Shit. Sorry. I don't watch precaps but I couldn't stop myself from staring at his beautiful face.

P.S.: Ok. So. Howazit? Do tell. Ok. Then. Bye. Y'all. God bless you.

Previous Next

[kingdoms-and-empires]

WHY INSURANCE< WHY?!?!

WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO HARD TO FIND A PROVIDER IN MY NETWORK JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Swear to god ima bout to solicit illegal drugs rn holy fuck

WHYWHYWHWYHWYWHWYWHWYWHWYHWWY

Ive waited months to get approved only for this shit to then give me trouble in KNOWING WHO TF MY DOCTOR IS.

Man fuck adulting

i want my mommy to call the doctor and schedule it, how tf did she make it look so easy

HOW DID SHE FIND WHO MY PCP WAS BEFORE INTERNET?!

Like bro im about to self medicate with liquor

Ah fuck it, ill manage. I already feel better ranting to you guys, love yall

[themissingnumbers]

Hey, Green? Is there anything I can do- well, now I have to figure out how to word this without sounding like I'm rambling- Is there anything I can do to help Red, too?

I... I want to help him. I really do. But there's so much that's wrong and I'm... I dunno- scared for him? I'm scared for everyone here, and I don't know where to start or what to do. I don't really know what I'm even asking for here... Advice? I know that we can talk and stuff, but is there anything I can do to make their lives a little less miserable? What things I should and shouldn't bring up in conversations?

I just want them to be happy, y'know? They deserve to be healthy—mentally and physically—and to feel safe and cared for. They deserve to know that people love them and want what's best for them, even if that message comes from the people they don't expect to hear it from. They deserve to feel seen and heard, to have their experiences and emotions validated after everything they've been through.

And I know that a lot of their problems come from that thing in the sky—hell, I think I'd go as far as to say that all of their problems are a result of its callous actions—but they don't deserve any of that. They all have a place in this world, seats that they need to fill. No life is a waste, and I can't just sit here and let them leave their seats in this world empty because some "god" decided that they weren't perfect or important enough to sit in it. It- It's not fair!

....why do I keep doing this? I just said I wasn't going to ramble-

I'm sorry, Green. I don't mean to- I dunno- rant every time I've opened my mouth around you lately. It's just, that I feel like you're the only person I can talk to who actually gets it. I'll try to stop doing this, but my point from earlier still stands. Is there anything I can do to help, too?

"Chat it up as much as ya need buddy, I'm here ta talk after all as I said. I'll try my best to address all yer points" He claps his hands together, his mask reflecting how he clearly enjoys the interaction, and hell if that didn't give it away, the delighted purr in his voice definitely did. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, clearing his throat

"Startin off...Reddo... 'Fraid to say but ya can't... and shouldn't try to help everyone. Honestly. I'd be more careful 'round him. He's not a bad guy really-...."

He stops himself in the middle of his sentence, visibly grimacing at his verbal misstep, he lets out a sigh before trying again

"Okay he's not a nice person but he's not....-"

He pauses once again. He knows he cannot find a single good thing to say about Red, despite how he tries.

"Ugh..... He makes this so fuckin' difficult. Listen. He's fine. But I'd be careful cause he can chew you up and spit you out just to use you as another stepping stone between hell and the new reality."

"He's a... desperate guy and will try anything until it works." He hunches his shoulders, looking off to the side, staring at the wall. He soon turns back, and you can feel him look you in the eyes again, your spine feels like ice, you can vaguely almost... feel the color green behind your eyes, seeing the color in the corners of your vision as you stare back.

"He does not give a single shit 'bout any of y'all, despite any of your love and care for him." He sighs out, you can hear it in his voice, he sounds genuine, he believes what he says. The main thing you can notice just slightly is the hint of worry in his tone that he tried to hide.

He shakes his head, moving onto the next topic, like he didn't just tell you that your life could be in danger. You want to speak more about it- ask him what he means but... He just moves on like he always does, making it feel like you a bit too late to the punch. You hold your tongue.

"Anyways.. About the rest.. I wish I could tell ya how to help em. If I knew the way to make everyone happy- to fix everyones problems, without causing worse harm- I'd already would've done so by now. Gods I've tried." He shrugs, he doesn't really have the answer for that and he knows it, but what he does know is the hard painful truth about this world.

"I hate to say it, and you're really not gonna like hearin' it but-" He pauses for a beat

"You cannot make everyone happy. You cannot fix anyone." His tone is firm, he isn't scolding you- but it feels about the same as how it feels to be taught stranger danger by your mother. A fact of life, something you wouldn't usually go into the world thinking. After all, a child has to learn that the world isn't all growlithes and rainbows someday don't they? And well, usually, you'd prefer to tell them yourself, instead of them having to get hurt to learn.

"Ya think Leaf's gonna be fine with y'all planning with Reddo? Ya think Gurin's gonna be fine with you talkin to Red?" He lets that sentence hang for a good long while. It wasn't something you thought about- You are getting involved with a lot of interpersonal drama, trying to be there for everyone- That... That's something that can get you into hot water... But you just want... To help, they can't blame you for that can they?

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news but this place will never be able to be the happy little kids game like it was supposed to be. I mean after all, who are you to come in and try to ''cheer em up?'' They don't know you. You clearly don't know them an' frankly! I'm not givin a playbook on how to act for 'em. Honestly... Whats the difference between you an arce at that point?" Your breath stops in your throat, what? No. You're nothing like Arceus- You just want to make them happy and make sure they're okay- That's entirely different than whatever the hell that creation god is doing- You're not all powerful- You're not able to just smite someone just for being- You're honestly quite offended you'd be compared-

"It isn't just them that's the issue y'know?" He interrupts your thoughts, moving on to the next part of the question. Well- Yes you knew that, of course, but they're most of the issue aren't they? That's well- what you've been able to assume-

"It's people like you that're the issue in the first place."

"Nah. It ain't fair, it really ain't, but what can ya do? We're just made to entertain after all. Fuck us if we aren't what the people want us to be. And so juuuust for all of you, it breaks us further. And further. And further. Changing us contorting us to its vision. Making us palatable." He spat, talking about the god long enough is getting him real heated, but that isn't... what you focus on, no no. You focus on how he says it. He sounds like he's talking from experience. It makes your heart burn "Making us aallll fit into the place that you all want us to be in" He almost snarls, you genuinely can't tell if the aggression is directed towards you or not anymore, you lean back in your chair, a little bit further away from the intensity that Green radiates.

He lets out a heaving sigh, putting his head in his hands for a moment, composing himself- You're gonna guess he wasn't intending to lash out at you. You hope. He pulls his face out of his hands, placing them on the desk yet again.

"Listen. I'm not sayin it's the fault of all of ya people but. Really. Do you really care about a video game character? Or do just care about what you think we are? what you want us to be? what it made us be?" He sighs, the question is... well clearly genuine, It's something he wants to know. Do you care? You... Like to think you do.... but... He's really making you doubt what you knew and... well what you thought you were trying to do.

Green refills the silence with his voice again, calm, a curious tone to it. "Yknow... I got a question for ya. Where d'ya think arcey learned how to be perfect anyways? Because well- No offense but. I don't think that mindstate jus' comes naturally."

FIRST | PREV | NEXT

[treacheryinblue]

Chapter 2/?

× Elysium (noun) : a place or condition of ideal happiness. type of: fictitious place, imaginary place, mythical place.

Word Count: 7.5k

A Noah Sebastian x OC Series

Masterlist

× Summary: Noah and his new found (sort of) friend, Persephone, battle the trivial ins and outs of being teenagers in a world that doesn't accept you. They survive together all the way into adulthood - with bouts of loneliness included - where the world is still a fickle bitch.

× Warnings!: language, violence, slowburn, friends to lovers to enemies back to friends, rinse and repeat (not even in that order), eventual smut, sexual themes, etc. Each chapter will have its own set of separate warnings.

× Author Notes: ( 1 ) Here's a long one for ya since I couldn't find a good cut off point! I also don't want to linger too long in the far past, so there will be time jumps coming up. ( 2 ) Don't forget that there will be no smut or sexual descriptions while Persephone is still a minor aka anytime before 2016. ( 3 ) I'm debating whether or not I want to share who I imagine Seph to look like. Hmm...

× Chapter Warnings!: language, brief sexual themes, massive bitchiness

SUMMER OF 2014

FRIDAY JULY 4th

PERSEPHONE

“You're so fucking embarrassing sometimes.”

The words angrily hissed took her by surprise, causing her to abruptly pull her hand away from his chest. Drunken eyes stared down at her, annoyance heavy within them. Persephone wasn't sure why she allowed herself to fall into this trap time and time again; maybe she was a glutton for punishment, or maybe she was just an idiot. 

“What?” Her brows furrowed, the confusion and offense written all over her previously joyful features. 

“It's like you always just have to be on me, and it's really fucking irritating. Clingy as shit.”

Oh, so that was the game Mason was trying to play? Real rich coming from the same guy who would death glare her all night if she wasn't lingering at his side. God forbid she spend too long talking to her friends or another guy approaches her, even if to just ask where the bathroom was. 

Typically, her reaction would be to scoff and walk away, but the couple extra drinks she had downed earlier…they were not working in her favor. Seph promptly closed her mouth, jaw clenching in an attempt to keep her lower lip from quivering. People were starting to look at them now, all because he had raised his voice a bit too much. Something told her that he was looking to cause a scene merely because he could. Why not knock her down a few pegs? 

“For fucks sake, Seph, don't start. Don't start that crying shit, seriously.” 

Persephone took a step back from him as her hand instinctively flew up to wipe her cheek of a stray tear. Fuck, why was she crying? Over Mason? He was definitely not someone for her to waste tears on, though her inebriated mind was currently telling her otherwise. 

A harsh laugh then echoed around her, starting with Mason and drifting along his couple of buddies that stood near them. Oh how badly she wanted to ring his stupid neck right then. Instead of giving that drastic of a reaction, she figured flinging what remained of her drink at him - cup and all - was the best course of action. Was it? Probably not. After all, this was Mason’s way of punishing her for how she didn't ‘back him up’ at Ruffilo’s days ago. 

Yeah, he was that kind of guy who just had to hold ridiculous grudges all because his ego was hurt. 

“The fuck?!” Mason exclaimed, followed by another rant of profanities, but Seph was already pushing her way out of the party.

And that's the story of how she had ended up in the passenger seat of Noah’s car an hour or so later. She had yet to divulge this information to him, and she honestly wasn't sure if she ever would. There was no reason for her to unload onto him, not when her issues were more than likely of no interest to him. No, she would hold it in, just as she did everything else weighing on her. 

“I'm sorry for all of this,” she eventually breathed out upon realizing they were sitting idle in front of her house. It was then that she finally looked over to where he sat, their eyes immediately meeting because Noah had been staring at her. Much to her surprise, he didn't quickly avert his gaze as he usually would when she caught him lingering a bit too long. 

“I’d usually wait until we've been friends for a couple of months before hyperventilating in front of you.” 

That was a bad attempt at a joke in hopes that it would lighten the mood. She even tossed in a small chuckle, just for the sake of it all. 

Thankfully, Noah followed suit with a soft laugh of his own. “Are you saying we're friends?” 

Ah, so he had jokes of his own. That was a relief. 

“Only when I need you to drive me home in the middle of the night, obviously.” 

They shared within the laughter together before the sounds slowly began to die down and they were left in a brief silence. Seph took this as being the perfect time to unclick her seatbelt, carefully feeding it back to where it would rest without too much unnecessary noise. 

“Nah, it's not a problem, for real. I'd rather drive you home than hear Nick write another song about nachos. His hidden talent is finding multiple words that rhyme with ‘salsa’.” 

Persephone tilted her head to the side at this, her face scrunching in confusion while another bout of laughter filled the car. “Salsa?” She repeated, head slowly shaking in disbelief. “I…can't even think of one.” 

“The guy has a gift! What can I say?”

“Pasta!” She then interrupted in a loud exclamation. This silly little conversation had caused her entire demeanor to perk up, all the thoughts of Mason and his asshole ways being pushed to the back of her mind. Good. That's where he belonged. 

“Mufasa!”

“...Mufasa?” 

“Yeah…from The Lion King?”

Well, now was a good time to let it be known that she had never seen The Lion King, or really any Disney movies aside from the princess ones. This probably explained a lot more about her adolescence than she was willing to admit. 

“You've never seen The Lion King? You've got to be shitting me. Where is your culture?” 

Most would assume that Noah’s words were harsh, but his tone fully said otherwise. He was still poking fun at her. Still lifting the mood the best to his abilities. Words couldn't even express how thankful she was for him at that moment. In response to his statement, Persephone shrugged while beginning to gather her bag that had been resting at her feet. 

“I guess you'll just have to show it to me sometime.” 

Wait…was she hitting on Noah? No, certainly not. Right? 

Before they could dive too deep into that, she was opening the door to his car and slipping out. “Thank you again,” she smiled as she stood within open view. Her fingers nervously tapped along the metal, their stares holding. With that, she nodded and closed the door. 

“Text me when you're home!” She heard herself calling out after bringing two fingers to her forehead to lazily salute him a goodnight.

Oh, that was a little embarrassing. Cheesy, even. 

“Get it together, Seph,” she muttered to herself while shuffling her keys around in her grasp in search of the one to her front door.  

SUNDAY JULY 19th

NOAH

It's kinda funny how a person you've never really spoken to in the past, can suddenly begin to take up so much of your time. They're a force that encompasses your waking moments, every spare hour involving them in some way, shape, or form. Take Persephone, for example. She had been coming to the restaurant a lot more with claims that it was the best place for her to study, though he barely saw her flip a page. Once his shift was over, he would end up in the booth with her, chatting away about nothing in particular. Nick would join in most of the time, but there were moments that he could sense his best friend was keeping his distance on purpose. 

When they weren't talking in person, they were through texts. Seph had a way of sending random messages throughout the day, the majority of them consisting of whatever thought was currently in her head. No matter how random or outlandish. Of course he didn't mind, though. Noah liked being that person for her. 

Then there were the rare occurrences when Seph would text him to come over. He had been nervous as fuck the first time this happened, even opting to not tell his friends about it just because he didn't want some lecture about ‘status’ again. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?), he never made it inside her house. They would hang out in his car, which he found rather odd, but Seph explained that it was comfortable to her. A happy place, for lack of a better term. How ironic given cars still terrified him. If they weren't in his car, then they were in her backyard. The land was just as he had imagined it to be: tall privacy fence, a massive pool, decent sitting areas, and of course a garden that surrounded the entire perimeter. It was leaps and bounds different from what he was used to. Seph revealed to him that the only thing she actually liked about it was the garden. The rest could ‘fall into a sinkhole for all she cared’. Her words, not his.  

“This is actually your band?” Seph had asked in awe one night after he came running at her call. She was laid back in the passenger seat of his Honda with only portions of her face illuminated by the street light, though it was enough for him to see the genuine interest displayed. 

“Yeah,” Noah laughed, thumb tapping rhythmically along with the beat against his steering wheel. “Why do you sound so surprised by that?” 

“I mean…” he continued before she could respond. “It's just a demo so the production is kind of shit, but we're working on tha-”

“Noah, take a breath.” 

Let's not talk about the way his name sounded on her lips. 

“I like it…believe it or not.” Persephone was now looking up to the roof of his car, her fingertips also strumming along to the beat on her chest. She looked almost peaceful, which was a little odd with the metalcore music currently blasting in the enclosed space. 

“Your voice is…well, I like it too.” 

With all of that being said, this is the part where his new friendship takes its first turn for the worst. 

It was mid-afternoon that Sunday when he spotted her a bit in the distance. Noah didn't want to admit that he could probably pick her out in a crowd within three seconds, but…he definitely could. There was just something about Persephone that drew the eye. She was sitting alone outside of one of those overpriced cafe sort of places, the kind that sell decent sandwiches and soups, but not when it came to the yearly salary you'd be forking out to enjoy it. Of course his first instinct was to approach her, but as his steps continued, Nick abruptly tugged him aside. 

“What the hell?” Noah looked to his best friend’s hand grabbing the sleeve of his shirt before glancing back in the direction they had been traveling. Seph was no longer alone, but accompanied by a man and a woman, those of which he assumed to be her parents. 

“I wouldn't, man.” Nick shook his head before motioning with a nod for them to head the opposite way. 

Noah just looked at him rather lost. Why couldn't he go say hi? 

As if he could read his mind, Nick heavily sighed, his eyes widening with an urgency that screamed 'let's fucking go’. But, as most know, Noah was stubborn. He was also a teenage boy that couldn't think clearly when a cool and pretty girl was involved. 

Nick didn't attempt another protest. He simply released Noah and stood back, allowing him to make his own idiotic mistakes. 

“Seph, hey,” he smiled while approaching the table she sat at with her family. Their conversation paused, all three now looking his way. Her parents appeared confused by the interruption, while Seph was…scared? Nervous? He couldn't quite place what emotion was currently on her face. 

“Sorry to interrupt, Nick and I were just walking and saw you. Figured I'd pop over.” Noah chuckled, his nerves really getting the best of him. What was this voice he was using? What was he saying? Jesus, was this how he was going to be in front of parents? 

“Oh, um…hey,” Seph ripped her eyes from him to glance at her parents, her hands falling to her lap. 

Noah could only assume she was right on the verge of scratching at her thigh. Shit. What had he done? 

“Ah…and you are?” The man spoke up first, his tone already filled with judgment. 

“He’s just a guy that works at that diner me and Maisie go to sometimes.” Seph replied before he could, quickly explaining away his presence. 

“Not the one that Maisie said was watching you that day, right?” Although Persephone’s mom tried to speak in a hushed tone, he heard her loud and clear. His so-called ‘friend' opened her mouth to speak, but nothing really came out but a syllable or two. Alright, he had seen enough already. No point in dragging out the torture. 

Noah was praying that no one else could overhear their conversation because he was already dying enough from embarrassment. Just a guy? The fact that that's how Seph would describe him was hurtful, though deep down he knew he shouldn't be surprised. After all, Nick had tried to warn him. 

“I actually just wanted to let you know, since you're a frequent patron, that we're going to be closed for the next…” he briefly paused to think. “Well…indefinitely. So, yeah, no need to stop in or anything.”

They were all looking at him odd now. Seph herself had squinted her eyes at him in further confusion, though he was sure she would eventually figure out what he was trying to say. She was smart. She could decipher the message. 

“Honestly, you should probably walk on the opposite side of the street for a while. Don't even go near the building because…there's going to be construction and all that shit happening.” Long legs walked him back a couple of feet as the words continued to spew from him. He probably should've stopped while he was ahead, but his anger was getting the best of him. With that, Noah took one last look at Seph and then turned to collect Nick so they could get the hell out of there.

“Not a fucking word,” he snapped at his friend through slightly gritted teeth. 

WEDNESDAY JULY 22nd

PERSEPHONE

How exactly do you apologize to someone while also having to explain that you're just an asshole? That's the current predicament she was in. 

Only three days had passed since her parents' first encounter with Noah, and each day she felt worse and worse. She should've handled it better. She should've been nicer. She should've been a goddamn friend, but no. All she was concerned with was avoiding judgment filled conversations with her parents. Those were usually the only talks they would have to begin with, so she didn't want to add fuel to their fire. Not when they were already on her case about literally everything else. 

Was it worth it?

No. 

“Jesus, your room is a disaster.” 

Seph looked up from her phone, her thumbs halting their hovering dance over the keyboard as she tried to put her thoughts into words. It just wasn't happening. Maisie now had her attention, as did the disgusted look she wore. Okay, so maybe her room had gone a little downhill in the last week or so. It was typically pristine, the kind of room where everything had a proper place. But now? Well, the floor was littered with clothes - both clean and dirty - and the studies her parents forced her to do over the summer were scattered across her desk. Don’t ask. It was some ‘extended education’ program her father had taken a liking to when he was in Japan the previous year. 

“You're going to have it straightened before your party, right?” 

Taking a deep breath, she nodded at her best friend’s scolding. “Yes, mom, I'm going to have it clean by this weekend.” 

Maisie flashed a smug grin before her gaze lowered down to the phone Seph still held. Her brow quirked curiously, a few steps now being taken closer to where she sat atop her bed. 

“Are you texting my brother?”

Gross, definitely not. They had barely spoken since the incident on the Fourth, and that's basically how she wanted to keep it. She would play nice when it came to parties and what not, but socializing outside of that? Not happening. She was done letting Mason walk all over her. 

“Nosy much?” To cut the impending tension, Persephone smiled and then tossed her phone aside in a nonchalant manner. She wanted to show that whatever she was doing on her phone wasn't important. 

Maisie shrugged, her greedy fingers sifting through the clothes hanging in her closet. “Just wondering since he's been kinda weird since you two had your little spat.” 

“It wasn't a spat,” she quickly retorted. 

“Oh my god, you know what I mean.” Maisie rolled her eyes, following it with a heavy sigh of faint annoyance. “He was an ass but you know how he is already.” 

Persephone wanted to challenge her statement. Just because Mason was a known jackass, that meant he could talk down to her in front of all of their friends? That logic didn't add up. 

Note to self: don't use that excuse when apologizing to Noah. 

“What are you wearing this weekend?” Maisie was focused back on her wardrobe, the important topics left behind to never be picked up again. 

Before she could respond, she heard her mother's voice calling up the staircase to her. She released a sigh of her own, holding a finger up to Maisie that told her to ‘hold on’ as she tended to the woman’s requests. 

“Be right back, gotta see what the snow queen wants.” 

Disappearing down to the main floor of her house, she was none the wiser to Maisie growing increasingly curious about the contents of her phone. It took less than ten seconds for her friend to figure out the password to her phone, and then only an extra minute to see all the messages exchanged recently with Noah that she needed to. If you were to ask Maisie, she would say she had hit the jackpot. 

Upon her return, Maisie was back in her closet, though she was now going through the multitude of bathing suits she owned. 

“I don't know why she insists on going over the 'ground rules’ every time she and my dad take a trip. It's literally every week. Like I could ever forget.”

Persephone huffed as she approached the large walk in closet, a hand resting on her hip. She gave her best friend a puzzled look since she was holding up a rather skimpy bikini set she hadn't even ripped the tags off of yet. 

“You should wear this one to the party.” Maisie shifted it in front of her, pretending to imagine how it would look before giving a satisfied nod. 

“You see those tags? Yeah, those are still there because my parents would literally murder me if they ever caught me in that.” 

“So? They're not going to be here. What they don't know won't hurt them.” 

Seph pursed her lips in thought, briefly studying the high cut cheeky bikini bottom. Would she even feel comfortable wearing it in front of a large group? 

“Ugh, what's been up with you, Seph? You're such a buzzkill lately.” 

Right, because when she wasn't constantly on, that meant something was wrong. When she just wanted to sit around and not hang out, that automatically meant she was boring and bland. How could she have forgotten? 

“Fuck you,” Seph forced a laugh while snatching the bathing suit from Maisie’s outstretched hand. 

“Atta girl.”

SATURDAY JULY 25th

“Shoootttsss!!” Maisie’s voice erupted across the backyard. 

Persephone grimaced as soon as she tossed her head back and the horrid alcohol met her tongue. Her face scrunched in disgust, though she was quick to bring her cup filled with fruit punch up to chase it down. 

Fuck, that was gross. The trick, or so she had been told, was to just take another shot immediately after, though. Why? Because the burn was already lessened from the first one. Duh. So, that's what she did. 

The party was already thriving and it wasn't even ten yet. This was definitely her most successful one of the summer, and she would be lying if she said she didn't feel a little proud. Everyone loved having their ego stroked every now and then. But even with all the people she was surrounding herself with, she couldn't fight the urge of just wanting to be curled up alone. Maybe a movie playing in the background to drown out the static in her head. 

If only. 

With some Top 40 pop song on the speakers, Maisie grabbed her hand and immediately pulled her closer. They were all laughs as they danced and sang along together, just as they typically did at parties. It was nice to not have to worry about Mason getting mad at her all because she was trying to have fun. After the week she had, she deserved it. And it was also an added plus  to have a seemingly normal interaction with Maisie. Maybe things weren't as fragile between them as she was beginning to think. Why she cared so much was a mystery, though. 

And no, she still hadn't figured out the best way to apologize to Noah. 

That was just one more thing she wasn't trying to dwell on. Seph wanted to enjoy herself. She wanted to let loose for the first time in what felt like weeks without all of her worries crashing down upon her. College applications? Pft, right to the back of her mind. Her parents? They were locked there with the former. Noah? Okay…that one was a little harder to forget about it, even just for a moment. 

It became even harder when she flipped her hair out of her face and took a glance across the lawn, her honey eyes landing straight on the tall figure who had been occupying her thoughts. He was accompanied by a few other guys, all of them looking fully out of place. Well, except for the shortest one who held a goofy grin and already had a beer in his hand. 

“Noah?” Her dancing slowed before coming to a complete stop as she murmured his name to herself. A part of her wasn't even sure if he was real, or if her slightly drunk brain was playing tricks on her. 

Maisie eventually paused as well once she realized her dance partner was now much more interested in something else. It was hard for her to hide her smirk as phase one of her plan fell perfectly into place. Guess that proved Seph wasn't seeing things. 

“Oh! I invited him! Told him to bring people!” Maisie exclaimed loud enough to be heard over the music. “You two are friends, yeah? I thought it would be fun!”

Her bitch of a best friend sure did look rather proud of herself. So much for things not being fragile.

Seph carefully dislodged herself from the other as to not raise concerns of her tanking mood. She wasn't upset to see Noah. No, it was actually quite the opposite. She wanted to see his face again, but she didn't want it to be like this. Maisie obviously had something up her sleeve and she truly didn't want Noah getting caught in the crossfire of it all. Out of everyone she knew, he was the least deserving of such pettiness. 

Without even another glance to her ‘friend', she casually strolled up to the group of tattooed guys, slowly sipping from the drink she was nursing. Seph wanted to appear relaxed, though she was sure Noah could feel the anxiety that was coming off of her in waves. He always had a knack for doing so. 

“This place is niiiice.” The shorter guy she didn't recognize complimented as soon as she was in earshot. She smiled the best she could, nodding to his words. 

“Yeah, make yourself at home.” Seph motioned back to the party playing out all around them, from the drinking games to the pool, she was giving them freedom to it all. “Go crazy.” 

Three of them were quick to scurry away, but of course Nick lingered. He looked just as much on edge as Noah did, though she assumed it had nothing to do with the party and more so her. But still, they made eye contact and she offered a smile to show her harmless intentions. 

“Look, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt this time.” Nick took a slight step towards her, though it wasn't to intimidate her. She knew he just wanted to show that he was protective over his best friend. Honestly, Seph wished she had a friend like him. 

But you did, and you ruined it. 

With her smile lingering, she nodded in understanding. “You're a peach. Now go.” 

With Nick joining in on the fun, this left just her and Noah standing awkwardly together. She could feel people staring at them, and because of this she made sure her stance was casual. Just two people talking at a party. Nothing more to it. Seph really did wish she didn't care so much about the thoughts of other people. It was exhausting, to say the least. Her own brain was always running at full speed, worrying internally about if she looked okay or if her clothes were good enough, or if she was smart enough. It was never ending. 

“Hi.” She was looking up at him, though Noah was glancing elsewhere. He was scoping out the party, taking note of the faces and all the different commotions happening. 

When he didn’t say anything, she took in a deep breath, a swallow of her to drink to follow. “Can we talk?” She finally asked, the question drawing his attention. Noah pushed his hair back from his face, and she couldn't help but to wonder if he was purposely taking his time with responding. 

“I think I'm going to enjoy the party for a bit.” 

Then he was gone, gently slipping by her to find his friends at a beer pong set up on the opposite side of the pool. 

What the hell just happened? Had Noah really been the one to walk away from her? 

No, that's not the mindset she was going to have. 

Alright, so maybe she did deserve that at the very least. 

NOAH

“I did it,” he announced in a hushed tone to Nick as he approached his side of the long table. His friend glanced at him, but his main focus was on the cups set up on the opposite end of the table where Folio and some random party goer stood. 

“She asked if we could talk and I didn't give in.”

“Dude, see? I knew you could do it.” 

It’s important to let it be known that Nick didn't dislike Seph…not completely. He sure as hell didn't like the bullshit she was putting Noah through but there was a part of him that kind of understood. The social status around here, especially at their ages, was greatly discussed and worried over. Seph was merely a product of her environment, though anyone who truly spoke to her would be able to tell that she wasn't one of those uptight types. Sure, she had her moments, but they all did. They were all guilty of following the status quo. 

“Shit,” Nick winced as the ball he had tossed bounced off the rim of a back cup, forcing Folio to go running for it. 

“You’re fucking terrible at this,” he laughed at his best friend before nudging him over a bit so he could see straight down the table. Once it was their turn again, Noah sank two of the ping pong balls with ease, leading them closer to their first victory of the night. 

For most of the night, the majority of the people at the party kept their distance. Noah couldn't shit on them for it because he would've done the same had their roles been reversed. With that being said, there were a handful of Richmond elites who were actually kind of decent. They'd all chat, drink, partake in games to do more drinking, there were even some laughs tossed in. That didn't mean Noah was too distracted throughout the night to not notice Persephone. As he had stated before: she had a way of drawing the eye. 

“A band?!” 

Noah looked back to see Folio chatting it up with some dark haired girl who wore an expression of pure excitement. Her hand was on his bicep and he was leaning in closer than necessary, which told Noah all he needed to know. Good on him. 

Chuckling to himself, Noah shook his head before taking another swallow from the beer he had been working on. He wanted to take the drinking slow that night, especially since he knew he would eventually fall victim to Seph's request of them talking. He could only remain strong and stoic for so long when it came to her. 

And as if on cue, his name being called by the girl in question garnered his attention. 

“Noaahhh,” she spoke in a sing-song type of voice. His eyes dropped down to where he found Seph lounging in the shallow end of the pool, her arms folded across the ledge with her chin resting atop them. She was looking at him, a smile tugging slightly at the corners of her lips, though her eyes appeared a little dazed. 

Obviously Seph was no longer walking in the realm of the sober. 

“You should get in,” she requested, beckoning him forward with a bend of her finger. 

Noah laughed and his free hand rubbed along his chest with a playful taunt. “Oh no, believe me, no one wants to see this pale string bean glowing in the moonlight.” 

It took Seph a moment to process his words - more than likely trying to determine what he meant - but once she had it, she rolled her eyes at him in an equally playful manner. “Maybe I do,” he heard her mutter, though it was mostly drowned out by the sound of someone cannon-balling into the deep end. So, he decided to leave the topic alone. 

Persephone then moved along the edge of the pool until she reached the steps that would lead her out. He had to quickly look away as she emerged from the water because the swimsuit she was adorned in left very little to the imagination. And goddamn, did he have a wild imagination at times. As much as he wanted to stare, he also wanted to be respectful. No way was he going to let himself fall into the same fuckboy category as the other guys who were openly checking her out. 

“You okay?” She laughed while approaching him, a towel now in her grasp that she was using to dry the upper portions of her body. 

No, he was fucking not okay. He was currently trying to fight off every teenage urge he had, but thanks for asking. 

“Yeah, I'm good. The party is dope, Seph. Thank your friend for the invite.”

Noah could sense her brief shift of emotions. The smile she wore faltered at the mention of the invite, though she was quick to cover it by walking by him to snag her shorts from a lounge chair. 

Oh thank god, she was going to cover up before he lost his mind. 

“I'll definitely be sure to let her know.”

Was there some animosity in those words of hers? He figured it was nothing, so he didn't press the topic. Plus, he was sure he wouldn't get much information out of her when she was in her current state. While Seph probably thought she was composing herself pretty well, he was very much aware of the slight sway in her stance and the way she had to take a moment before placing her second leg into her shorts and pulling them up. 

“Let's get a snack.”

Again motioning for him to follow her, Noah couldn't think of a reason not to this time. It wasn't like he didn't want to, though he was still trying to keep a distance between them after what had happened. But, much to his dismay, he couldn't deny her again. Noah would give her the damn world on a serving dish if he had the ability to. 

Now inside the house, he noticed it was much tamer compared to outside. There was no music playing, only the residual sound of what was thumping through the speakers outside drifting in. A few people lounged around on the couch and on the floor, all of them watching whatever movie was playing on the large television.  None of them were even concerned about the couple making out on a chair. Huh, okay then. 

“Cookie?”

Noah turned just in time to see Seph extending a hand out to him, a brightly sprinkled cookie in her grasp. He was going to say no, but the look she had in her eyes as she bit into the snack of her own was all he needed to change his mind. Chuckling under his breath, he took the cookie from her, but didn't yet dive into it. 

“What did you want to talk about earlier?” 

Okay, so he knew this conversation was probably going to go nowhere since alcohol was involved but he was still curious. How was she going to explain away the little encounter with her parents? He couldn't wait to hear it. 

Seph opened her mouth, but the back door opening cut her off before she could say anything. In walked a couple of girls, each of them shuffling into the living room with a fit of giggles. It only took this happening one more time before the girl in front of him huffed with annoyance, her hands thrown up in defeat. 

“Let's just go upstairs. People know it's off limits so it'll be quieter.” 

There were alarm bells going off in his head, but Seph didn't wait for him to respond. She was already exiting the kitchen with the assumption he would follow her…which he did. Going upstairs was a bad idea. Being alone upstairs was an even worse idea. Every logical brain cell was screaming at him to turn around and go find his friends, but what did he do? Sure as hell not that. No, he continued to trail behind her, right into her bedroom. 

PERSEPHONE

“I'm sorry,” she suddenly blurted out as soon as she had closed the door a bit behind them.

“I was an asshole the other day and I've been trying to figure out how to apologize all week but nothing felt right or sounded right. My parents are just…really strict and hard on me…I know that's not an excuse but I didn't want them to have the chance to offend you.” 

The words were coming from her a mile a minute, every thought in her head just exiting without a care in the world. Noah remained still through it all, allowing her as much time as she needed to get it all out. 

“They know how to ruin everything they don't approve of, you know? Always an opinion about the things I do, how I dress, what I eat…it's really fucking annoying. They suck the fun and excitement out of everything! The last thing I wanted was for them to have that power about you too.” 

Seph abruptly stopped in front of him when she realized she had been pacing back and forth. She took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled, as if that would help calm the overbearing thoughts spinning within her head. 

“Why even give them the ability to do that?”

“I don't give it to them,” she tried to explain. “I just don't have any way of stopping them from doing it. They're my parents, Noah. I need them, at least for the next couple of years.” 

They shared a long stare, neither speaking for a moment. She knew Noah was trying to comprehend what she was saying, but just like everyone else, he wouldn't be able to. People figured that she was perfect, inside and out, all because she had rich parents and the means to do anything she wanted. In reality, she was far from perfect and kept on a short leash, despite what the fun parties projected. It was all just a part of what she wanted the outside world to see. 

Seph took a step forward, nearly tripping over her own feet as she did. Thankfully, Noah was quick to grab onto her arm, this being the only thing that kept her from toppling down to the floor. 

“Whoa, careful. Let's sit you down.” He guided her to the edge of her bed where she heavily dropped herself, pulling him down along with her so he was sitting too. 

“I'm sorry, Noah,” she repeated again, this time her voice cracking from all the emotions now swelling within her. “I messed up, I know. Please just say you forgive me, though.”

“Yeah, Seph, yes, I forgive you. It's whatever. Let me get you some water, though.” 

There was a rush of relief that suddenly washed through her as soon as he said those words. Maybe it was just because she was drunk, but that was the best thing she had heard all week. Her arms immediately circled around the back of his neck, pulling herself close against him for a hug that kept them flush against each other. Seph could feel Noah’s hesitancy from the way his body froze and tensed, clearly not expecting the affection. Eventually, his hands stopped hovering and finally laid light as a feather on her waist. Her skin was bare still, since she hadn't fully redressed from the dip in the pool, so it was probably obvious when chills formed over the areas he touched. 

Persephone pulled back the slightest amount, just enough so her eyes could find his. She glanced between them only for a brief moment, and then her lips were abruptly crashing against his. Again, she felt him hesitate, even going so far as to break the kiss to murmur something about her being drunk, but she couldn't stop herself from closing the space once more. Seph untangled her arms from the back of his neck so that her hands could slide around his jaw, both deepening the kiss and making sure no room remained between them. All she wanted was Noah as close as humanly possible right then. She could feel his grip tighten on her waist and then his fingertips were dragging down along her lower back, pausing when he came into contact with the material of her shorts. 

Hands that previously held his face started their trek downwards, reaching and tugging at his shirt as a silent way of saying that she wanted it off. Noah was thankfully able to pick up on what she was saying, and soon his t-shirt was being tossed aside. That was much better. Now she could really feel him and the heat he radiated. 

Things were moving faster than she had anticipated and a little voice inside of her was telling her it was best to stop. It wouldn't be good for her first time to be when she was drunk and had loads of people in her backyard still. Those were the only regrets she would have, though. Noah would definitely not be one of them. 

“This is golden, Seph. Really.” 

The unexpected voice caused her to jump and part ways from Noah as he did the same in unison. He had somehow hopped up to his feet in record time, his back to the intruder so he could adjust himself and also pull his shirt back on. 

Maisie stood in the doorway with a devious smirk, and her phone out and pointed directly at them. “Oh, no, don't stop on my account. It was just getting good.” 

“What the actual fuck?” Seph exclaimed while standing from the bed and rushing towards the girl, just before making a vain attempt at snatching her phone away. Of course she wasn't successful. “Did you just record us? What is wrong with you?”  

A fit of laughter exploded from her, the phone now being held back and out of reach. “What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? Has your self esteem really dipped so low that you have to entertain trash to feel better about yourself?” 

Seph scoffed in disbelief, her mouth falling open in shock for what Maisie was saying. “Don't talk about him like that. Say whatever you want about me, but leave Noah out of this.” 

“Why? So he can see how nice of a person you are? So you can continue to fool him into thinking you're one of the good ones? Spare me, Seph!” 

Maisie now averted her gaze to Noah who was decent again and looking back and forth at the two girls in utter confusion. She gave him a pitiful look, one that was obviously mocking. “Seph here is just as mean as the rest of us. That hasn't changed just because she's become dull and boring within the last year. How else do you think we've been friends for so long?”

“Shut up, Maisie.” 

“We're one in the same, baby.” 

Seph made another attempt at grabbing her phone, but Maisie pushed against her chest to keep the distance intact. 

“Give me the phone. This isn't funny. Just delete it!” 

“I think I'll show Mason first, just because it'll be funny to torment him about how long he's been trying to get into your pants when Noah over here almost succeeds in less than a month.” 

Maisie really appeared to be enjoying this. She was smiling and laughing, all of these reactions quite genuine for her. She was obviously sick and cruel - two things Seph would never stoop to. No matter how much Maisie claimed they were the same. 

“Oh! Your parents!” Maisie gasped with her sudden realization, her face further lighting up. “They'd probably love to see what their little angel is up to when they're gone too.” 

Noah was at her side, his hand firmly grabbing her arm that she hadn't realized was topped with a balled up fist. Honestly, he should've just let her hit Maisie and ruin the nose job her parents gifted her the year before. That surely would've ended in their victory right away. But no, Noah had to make sure she wasn't further incriminating herself. 

“Why are you even doing this? What the hell have I ever done to you? What has Noah done to you?” 

“Just go, Maisie. You got what you wanted, so leave.” Noah and her spoke on top of each other, each of them searching for different outcomes. 

Maisie squinted at him, her brows then raising as if she was taken back by him even speaking to her. “This doesn't concern you, Noah. It's not about you. You're just collateral damage.” 

“I want my best friend back.” 

This time, it was Seph’s turn to break out into laughter. Was she being fucking serious? All of this was happening because she missed her? God, Maisie couldn't be anymore fucked up. 

“Get out,” she spoke through gritted teeth. “Get out! Tell everyone to get the fuck out!”

Seph slammed the door, causing herself to stumble back a bit from the force. Tears began welling in her eyes, though she was trying her best to blink them away. Maisie wasn't a bluffer. She would do exactly as she had said, and then what? It wasn't Mason that she gave a shit about, but her parents. Their potential reaction was what terrified her. 

Stepping deeper into her room and further away from Noah - who was trying his best to comfort her but she couldn't make out the words - she dropped her face into the palms of her hands. Her shoulders began to lightly shake with her sobs, everything just becoming too much at once. The alcohol coursing through her system definitely didn't help. 

“Seph…” Noah cooed in a soothing tone, his hand coming up to rest upon her shoulder. “Hey, it's going to be okay. Do you want me to get her phone? I will, I'll -”

“Nothing is okay!” Persephone shrugged away from his touch, quickly turning to look directly at him. “Everything is fucked, Noah! Do you not get that?!” 

The only person she truly cared about appeared as if he had just been slapped in the face. He blinked at her, shocked by the fact that her anger was being directed towards him now. Persephone felt bad, she really did, but everything else she was feeling overpowered that and took charge. 

“Just…go, Noah.” She spoke in a calmer tone after having taken a deep breath, her voice still wavering. 

“I'm not going to go, Seph. Stop. Let me help.” 

“I don't need your help!” Rushing towards her bedroom door, she threw it open just so she could motion for him to go through it. “Please, just go.” 

Had Persephone known that this would be the last conversation she would have with Noah for months, she never would've ended it like that. 

It was one of her many regrets on the ever growing list.

CHAPTER THREE JUMP

[strawberryfairi]

“I loved you then…back when I knew you”

Synopsis: 💎 When your old high school best friend, and admittedly, first love randomly shows up at your door one morning after a bit over ten years apart, your memories of him that you once locked away comes flooding back. Are you open to hearing him out after all this time? (In other words…will you take your man back or nah?)

♕Pairings: Kazutora X Black Fem Reader 🤎 (ANYONE CAN READ)🛑Content: 18+ Eventual smut, Some grief, Some angst ~Crossposted On: Wattpad ONLY ~Updating WEEKLY

w.c. 3.9k💠 Released March 21, 2024

NOTE: It’s been too long since I’ve posted another chapter but hopefully I’m fully out of my (ridiculously long💀) writers block! Ngl, this chap kinda ass fr but the next chapter will be longer/better for sure! Thank you all for bearing with me🧚🏾‍♀️💜

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CHAPTER 8; EMOTIONAL DIFFICULTIES

A Few Days Later

This morning just before classes started, the girls demanded an emergency girls meeting in the bathroom to discuss what happened Halloween night. It was funny to you how they never wanna text or Facetime about these things, they only love to do it in person. It was cute though, and made the experience of sharing your gossip all the more exciting.

"YOU GUYS KISSED?!"

You winced as all the girls shouted practically at the same time. You already knew what was coming.

"I knew it! I knew something happened between you guys! We called it, we straight up called it, Yumi!" Asuka rambled, Yumi just nods her head proudly with that classic devious smile.

"You better not ever come talkin' to us about "Oh, I don't know how he feels guys" again! At this point you'd be a fool to not see it!" Hayashi-chan ranted.

"Wait, but see there's the thing-

"NO! You guys are getting married, and that's final!" Yumi hollers.

"Um, I don't know 'bout married. We're in high school." You chuckle. "But listen guys, 'cause there's something goin' on now that's making me feel weird about the kiss. Afterwards, when we all were goin' home things were so awkward, and now it's like he can't even bear to touch me. You think maybe he regrets it?" You frown, fiddling with your fingers resting on your lap as you sat on the bathroom sink.

All the girls turn quiet in thought, briefly looking at one another as they process what you said.

"Ok well...when you guys touch now does he pull away like "ew, oh my god"? Or is it like "oh shoot, I touched her!"?" Miyazaki-chan questions.

"What's the difference?" You furrow your brows.

"One is that he's like genuinely disgusted to have touched you, and the other is just him being nervous that he touched you." She explains.

"Some guys can get like that! I'm pretty sure you're probably the first girl he's ever gotten this close to, like..ever. It was probably his first kiss too, and now that he did that he's like unsure about how to go about dealing with you. You went from friends to...this." Asuka says, gesturing with her hands towards all of you.

She did have a really good point though, you hadn't thought about it that way at all. You were so pressed about not liking the way he's been acting since Halloween night that you never really bothered to take it a step further and think about why.

"That makes sense. I mean, he doesn't seem disgusted, he's just so jumpy! It's like he calculates every little thing he does and sometimes says now; like a robot." You frown, looking over at Miyazaki-chan.

"Yup. He's for sure nervous." Hanako-chan nods.

"But it's not like I'm not nervous too!" You rant, throwing your hands in the air in frustration.

"Yeah, but when guys get nervous they get stupid. An even dumber than usual kind'a stupid." Yumi explains with a disappointed sigh.

"Facts, that'd be the next thing to warn you about. With what you told us about how he's acting...he's for sure gonna be in his idiot era from now on." Hayashi-chan says with an apologetic smile.

"His idiot era? Ughh no..." You facepalm, not liking the sound of this at all.

"Let's just hope he can character develop fast enough to breeze through it." She adds with an apologetic tone.

The bell signaling for students to get to homeroom rang just as you all finished your little gossip chat. One by one each of you left out of the bathroom, saying your goodbyes and going your separate ways down either side of the hall.

"I'll see y'all at lunch or..whatever class we have together." You giggled, walking backwards as you wave goodbye. Just as you go to turn around, you bump into someone accidentally, almost falling on the floor on your back in the process.

"O-oh, I'm so sorry!" A soft, familiar voice stutters out, quickly turning around and steadying you by the arm.

"Oh! No no, it's my fault-Yamagishi?! I haven't seen you in so long!" You beam, finally noticing who it was you bumped into. His two other friends seeming to be with him in the hallway quickly scurried into their classroom with nervous looks on their faces, leaving the two of you alone. You didn't think too much of that, but it was definitely weird.

"Oh uh...yeah." Yamagishi says in a particularly hushed voice.

"What's been goin' on? Did you do anything for Halloween?"

Yamagishi barely manages to respond to you, letting out nothing but a short "Y-yeah" in response. You furrow your brows in concern at the way his eyes keep darting everywhere but at you. It seems Kazutora isn't the only boy acting stupid around you now.

"Are you alright? What's wrong?!" You ask, starting to get a little freaked out. He looked completely shook, hands slightly shaking and his entire face has gone pale white.

"Sorry, I-I gotta go!" He stammers, pivoting on his feet and darting right into the classroom.

"What the-?!" You were confused and also a little offended. What the hell is wrong with these guys?! Shaking your head, you decide to brush it off, continuing on down the hall.

"Hey!"

This time a male voice you didn't recognize calls from a few feet behind you. You turn around, pointing at yourself with your brows slightly furrowed, silently asking the guy if they were talking to you.

"Yeah." He says, finally catching up to you.

"Uhh, hi?" You greet awkwardly. You've never seen this student before. He was pretty tall, with slicked back black hair and dark eyes to match.

"Just wanted to let you know, in case you were wondering, Yamagishi isn't allowed to talk to you anymore." He scorned, looking at you like you were the biggest nuisance in his life.

"What do you mean-

"You're boyfriend made it clear some weeks ago." He clarifies with a slight grimace at the word 'boyfriend'.

That was all he needed to say for you to understand, and man were you instantly fuming. Is he serious?!

"What did he do?" You grit out lowly. Even though it was a question your tone was demanding an answer, a fully in depth answer as well.

And a full report he sure did give you. He told you the full story exactly how Yamagishi told him and his other friends the day it happened. It was like the more Yamagishi's friend spoke the more your blood boiled, and by the time he finished telling you the tea, you were ready to find Kazutora.

"Oh, I got somethin' for him. Imma deal with his ass..trust." Was all you said before turning on your heels and storming down the hallway to your homeroom.

💎

You couldn't wait not a second more for lunchtime to come around, so when it finally did you jumped straight into action. Of course you told the girls what happened to which even they were annoyed about it. Everyone knows Yamagishi is a sweetheart, so picking a fight with him knowing he's not a fighter all like that anyways is just absolutely ridiculous. First of all, you're not even Kazutora's girlfriend, and second, for him to act so possessive like you can't have other guy friends besides him is childish!

The girls saved your spot at the lunch table, already knowing you were off to find him before he could even come to you. You walked through the halls like a lion hunting for its prey, focused on one thing only until you finally saw him.

There he was by the vending machine in the hallway before you reach the cafeteria, looking all calm and collected.

You storm up to him, the sound of your school shoes making contact with the ground alerting him of your presence. It just pissed you off even more the way his expression brightened when he noticed you.

"Hey! I was just on my-

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" You cut him off.

"-way...?" He finishes, blinking a few times in confusion while looking down at you with his brows furrowed.

"Why'd you beat up Yamagishi?! You told me you were only going to fight Osanai that day! You really had the audacity to tell him to stay away from me?! Who the hell are you?!" You rant, feeling your face starting to heat up with anger.

"You're mad at me because of that? He's the one that let Osanai hurt you in the first place." He shrugged, like it was the very last thing occupying his mind.

"I had already handled Yamagishi that same day though! He said he was sorry, and you already know he doesn't fight!" You defended, throwing your arms up exasperatedly.

"He should've thought about that before asking you out then. He already went wrong right there." He scoffed.

"Are you serious?!" You furrow your brows with a scoff, genuinely shocked.

"I'm very serious. He had no business asking you out knowing he can't protect you at all. He's lucky all Osanai did was give you one black eye! What if he did worse?!" He argued. It actually annoyed you a lot that he kind of made sense there.

You clench your jaw, looking to the side and letting out a deep exhale through your nose.

"Look...I was mad, alright?" He mutters softly.

"You can't just beat somebody up because you're mad, K! Like, I'm mad but I'm not beating you up." You grumble.

He lets out the tiniest chuckle. You both knew full well you'd never be able to beat him up. "I think both my anger and beating him up was justified. I can't let something like that slide; not anymore." He mumbles the last part to himself.

"Not anymore?" You question, looking back up at him curiously. He was already looking down, his hands clenched into fists at each side. You've never seen him look like this before. He wasn't angry or even worried, he just looked regretful.

"It's just-...I used to be the one to watch while someone else gets beat in front of me all the time. I hated that I could never do anything except cry and curl up in some corner." Kazutora explains bitterly, his eyes carrying a hollow, far off look.

You gasp lightly, hovering your hands over your mouth. "What do you mean?" You ask, mouth still hanging open in shock. You really hoped it wasn't what your mind was starting to conclude that it was. He sighs deeply before continuing.

"Before my parents got divorced, my dad would-... he'd beat my mom all the time. I was little, so it was never really anything I could do about it. So when I found out Yamagishi was the one that let you get hurt like that..." He looks back up at you, letting you connect the rest of the dots.

"Ohh." You whisper, suddenly feeling like a fool for pressing him. You had no idea, you just figured he beat him up out of some kind of stupid possessiveness he has towards you, but it was way deeper than that. Without a second thought you wrap your arms around him, resting your head on his chest.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know any of that." You apologize, nuzzling your face into him in hopes of comforting him.

"It's...fine?" He mutters awkwardly, hesitantly wrapping his arms around you.

It's the first time he's ever shared anything about his family dynamic, and definitely the first time someone's comforted him about it. He felt weird, like he didn't know what to do, but he also felt...a little good about it?

"No it's not. I was all yellin' at you and stuff. I'm really sorry." You repeat, sniffling a little as you start to tear up. You were never strong when it comes to things like this. You could watch someone cry in a movie scene and be bawling your own self. Hearing about Kazutora having such a past...it hurt you somewhere deep. Then to think he got triggered that badly all from what happened while you were with Yamagishi. Of course it doesn't mean hurting Yamagishi is right, but there's clearly some traumatic things Kazutora's been dealing with for a pretty long time.

His father's absolute garbage, and you hope he's completely out of his and his mom's life. Hopefully his mom moved on and found somebody better too; a real husband.

"It's ok. Are you crying?!" He looks down at you in bewilderment. Now the two of you were really out of his territory. You nod slowly, holding onto him tighter.

"Oh. Well uhhh, don't cry, ok? 'S nothing to cry about." He reassures awkwardly, gently patting your back.

His words meant for comfort only made you feel a thousand times worse. Him, the one who went through such a traumatic childhood is saying it's nothing to cry about?! Something's definitely wrong for sure, and you feel terrible for never noticing it. He always looks so cheerful and bubbly, but of course, that's what most people do when they're trying to hide something about themselves that they don't want other people to see.

Once he notices you aren't letting go any time soon he sighs, resting his head on top of yours.

"I don't want you to pity me, ok?" He mumbles softly into your hair.

"I don't. I just don't like hearing that someone I care about went through something like that. I'm sad." You murmur right back into his uniform, sniffling much more frequently. If you kept going like this, your mascara's gonna start running. Kazutora's heart clenched so hard in his chest. He felt butterflies hearing you say he was someone you care about, but it also hurt him seeing you so upset.

"Come on. Don't cry anymore, ok? Please?" He leans up from your hair, placing his hands on your shoulders. You look up at him, your bottom lip slightly pouting, and nod, wiping your eyes carefully.

"Wanna go back to the caf now?" He suggests softly.

"Mm mm. I wanna stay with you." You whine childishly. He laughs lightly at your cute expression.

"But your food's back there. Come on, we'll be alone together anyways when I walk you home later." He chuckled lightly, walking you back into the cafeteria.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had thought, with good reason, that after that emotional moment you and Kazutora shared together he'd be back to normal, no longer acting so awkward and skittish around you. Yeah, no..he's still being like that. You figured that due to the heat of the moment he wasn't really thinking about anything else except comforting you so you'd stop crying.

Now that that moment's passed, things are even more awkward than before.

"So...how was the rest of school for you?" You ask, trying to break the silence that's been ongoing for about seven minutes since the two of you left the school building.

"Uuuh..boring as usual, I guess." He replies shortly with a little shrug.

"Same." You mumble dryly, pursing your lips afterwards.

Aaaand we're right back to the silence. You sigh dramatically in frustration.

"K, why're you being so quiet all the time now? You're acting so weird." You question, looking up at him with a slight pout.

"What? I don't think I'm any different." He furrows his brows slightly.

"Liar. You don't even put your arm around me anymore like you used to." You grumble bitterly, looking straight ahead as you adjust your tote bag strap on your left shoulder.

"Do you want me to put my arm around you?" He asked.

"I mean, not necessarily, I was just pointing out stuff you used to do that you don't do anymore." You answer back as nonchalantly as possible.

"But if you pointed it out doesn't that automatically mean it's something you want me to do?" He probed, leaning down a bit closer to you.

"....Sure, yeah..maybe I do." You reply sassily, trying to hide the embarrassment on your face.

"Then..I'll do it." He affirms, his cheeks already starting to turn pink.

"Ok, fine." You mumble plainly, trying to hold back the excited smile wanting to make its way on your face as his arm hesitantly wraps around your shoulders, bringing you close to him.

Every time you both are close like this it always feels so different from before Halloween. The air becomes heavy, the sound of your heart beat seems ten times louder, your palms get all sweaty, and your face gets unbearably hot. Worst part of it all your mind starts going crazy with thoughts when you get like this.

You think about how you want so badly to kiss him again. To touch and kiss each other again just like that night, maybe something even more than that. It almost feels wrong having thoughts like this when you didn't know for sure if Kazutora thought similar things.

The girls always know how to make it seem so simple, so obvious that he feels the same, but it's so hard to see it when you're in a situation like this in real time.

If I kissed him would he push me away...?

Even if you had the guts to kiss him you knew you probably shouldn't do it. He's already acting different, it would highly likely make it worse. At this point you weren't even sure when you should ever invite him over to your place again. He'd probably completely lose his mind if you were on the same bed together again.

You sigh, closing your eyes and leaning your head just slightly against his chest. This'll have to be enough for now, but in the meantime you figure it's time to whip out the big guns when it comes to boy advice.

💎

"-And then...we actually ended up kissing there, but after we left from the park it was like he was completely different. He wouldn't do anything that he used to, and still doesn't unless I point it out like I did today! That's the only reason he even put his arm around me, 'cause I mentioned he'd stopped doing it."

Your mom listens intently from the edge of your bed, trying not to show her ever growing smile.

"I was waiting for when you'd finally tell me about this boy." She says warmly.

Your jaw drops, completely taken aback by her words.

"Wha-...you knew about him this whole time?!" You gawked, completely shook.

"Girl, I knew from the get-go, don't even play." She chuckles lightly. "I knew after weeks and weeks had passed that you liked him and would come to me about him eventually. I was just waitin'." She chuckled, brushing you off with a hand.

"Well, so...what do you think?" You inquire nervously, fiddling around with your hands in your lap.

"There's nothing to think! He likes you; it's clear as day! You don't even gotta stress about this one, honey."

"But why does he act so weeeeird?!" You whine dramatically.

"Because he likes you, as I just said! That's how guys are. He made a move randomly, 'cause from how you're describing it he definitely didn't plan it, and now he's freaking out because he went and blurred the lines of y'alls relationship." She explains with an amused chuckle.

You stay quiet, brows furrowed as you think over what your mom said.

"Sometimes, there are guys that have a hard time facing their feelings, and unfortunately, this boy seems to be one of them." She adds, placing a hand on your knee.

"Don't decide nothin' for him, ok? You let him figure out his feelings and come to you.We're not chasin' any guys, no matter how cute."

"Why do you think he's struggling with facing his feelings?" You murmur curiously.

"Oh honey, it could be anything. Sometimes they're just nervous, other times it can be a little more complicated than that. If he's strong enough, he'll be able to acknowledge how he feels about you and decide what he wants to do. If he's not, and he keeps teetering around back and forth...then you decide for him, and you keep it pushin'. That doesn't mean end the friendship and walk away, but you make it clear y'all will be nothing more than friends." She explains, her tone more serious now.

You nod, looking up at her.

"Today...we got into a fight but then it turned out to be something sad." You mutter.

"What d'you mean somethin' sad?" She says with concern, raising her left brow.

"Well remember when I got that black eye with the boy from my math class?" You pause, watching her nod as a sign to continue. "Ok so Kazutora had actually went and beat up the guy who did that to me, this dude named Osanai, but he didn't tell me he also went and beat up Yamagishi too that same day. He said he was mad that he didn't keep me safe, but he also said it was because it reminded him..of when his dad would beat his mom when he was younger."

Your mom's lips part slightly, sucking in a short breath as she listens to you. Immediately she was filled with a deeper concern than before. Back when she was much younger, before you were even born, she had spent a lot of time as a youth pastor, caring for the kids who carried trauma and had to deal with neglectful, hateful parents. She's always loved kids, and it would anger her beyond belief when the parents of the kids from her youth group would try and justify why they treat their children the way they do.

"I had started crying 'cause...he'd never told me that, and it kinda clicked. He's always so bubbly and like really upbeat, but I think it might be because he's actually really sad." You explain softly, a deep frown on your face.

"He fights a lot, and before he met me he used to never really come to school. I had a thought while he was walking me home that maybe his dynamic with his mom at home still isn't any better even though his dad is gone." You add, looking over at her again for her reaction.

"Ok...well, there may definitely be some 'things' inside him that he needs to work through. I also think he's probably acting weird around you because you might be the only person he feels safe with, so he doesn't want to mess that up; what he has with you." She says softly.

"Yeah. That makes sense." You sigh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kazutora's story about his family was all you could think about as you laid in bed. You'd spent a majority of the night worrying about him.

This only made you realize just how much you actually didn't know about him. That was just one little piece of the story, who knows how many more details and puzzle pieces fit into the rest of it. It would probably be wrong to just ask him about his past, you didn't want to upset him or even trigger him in some kind of way. You honestly didn't know too much about mental health and all the nuances and verbiage that comes along with it.

He could have PTSD or..something from what happened in his past. If he does have something like that he's damn good at hiding it...at least around you.

A deep sigh left your lips, letting go of the situation so you could finally sleep. You'd have to figure this out another time.

[scriv3lloirl]

So we finally finished Little Shop!

Spoilers under the cut!! (But if y'all are followin me, then y'all should already know what happens.)

So the version we jus watched had the Directors Cut—which I've, surprisingly, never actually watched b'fore—Its definitely gotta my favorite endin now though.

A few people in front cried over Audrey's death, which almost made me cry cus the feelin's were overwhelmin as all hell. But then Orin fronted n was like. "Y'all are not cryin over my girlfriend." (It's a whole story, we don't have time nor do I wanna explain.) n then we were straight chillin afterwards.

Little Shop is a tragedy!! So let it be a tragedy, god damnit.

Gotta say, Seymour almost killin his'self was a surprise though. Definitely I wasn't expectin it. (Even though I've known bout it fer' god knows how long—I've jus never seen that scene.)

Someone in front, while the scene was playin, started howlin at the damn phone fer' Seymour t' "jump already!" n t' "not be a pussy!" Then got mighty pissed at Patrick Martin fer' jus.. spawnin in right as Krelborn was boutta do it.

So that whole thin' was funny as hell n totally ruined the seriousness of the scene.

Mean Green Mother From Outerspace? Always been a banger, always will be a banger.

Both of our Twoey fictives (Big Twoey n Baby Twoey, respectively,) took complete front from me, n we're jammin out n singin along.

The Urchins, Crystal, Ronnie, n Chiffon, all were comin up wit conspiracy theories bout plen'y of the folks down in Skid Row bein aliens like Twoey cus they thought it was funny; First Customer was one of the people bein discussed. Which confused t'hell outta Frank (Our First Customer introject.)

Overall; this was a good day, despite the fact it took almost four fuckin hours fer' me t' watch the film cus these brain fuckers kept goin on thirty minute rants. (It was me half the time, but sshhhhhh.)

[rychlostthespacewizard]

Wizard rant:

Why dont you fix this with magic? Why dont you fix that with magic? Oh come on, I cast spells not miracles! When you all have to memorize arrays of nonsense and repeat it every single moment just to have a chance to cast a spell, you will understand how hard it is to do this. And you know what? I am not a miracle worker, I am a wizard. I am not a god, I am a elf. This potions you ask me to make need I-N-G-R-E-D-I-E-N-T-S and I'm neck deep in debt with the apothecary near the Golden Oar because of this, maybe if you didn't run into battle like a band of babbling baffoons bickering 'bout who's the best, I wouldn't have to make so many potions!

And stop screaming while i'm concentrating on spells, this is already hard to not mess up, I have to keep repeating the incantations mentaly so you all don't get killed by the Goristro, and you all are screaming like a bunch of ghosts cursed with testicular torsion! And stop laughing you sorcerous scoundrel, you have to stop casting fireball at everything that moves, you're going to burn the whole forest down and then the druids will come after us again, and I don't want to be turned into a toad or eaten by a bear!

You are always so quick to throw magic and the thousands of rules at the wall thinking it's just "I cast heat metal" and "I flick my wand and you die" my equations aren't like your swords that you wave around and people drop dead, I had to take 12 hour classes for 70 years! Thats more than half of you can live!

I swear to the gods, if you all don't stop asking me to fix everything with magic, I'm going to turn you all into pigs and sell you to the butcher!

This party is not good for my health, I need a vacation. I'm going to the Feywild, and you all can go to the Nine Hells for all I care!

[cowboys-tshot]

omg your post about charles burying arthur is SO real to me because.....where did charles even get that quote in the first place?? did he flip through the pages of the bible, meticulously reading through each line to find it? did he already have it in his mind, always being reminded of it whenever he thought of arthur? what about it was so worthy to be remembered? and why did he like it so much to carve it onto his companion's grave? also like.....he probably wouldn't have known what year arthur was born in to even consider putting it on, which would've brought a whole OTHER bout of grief. arghh that post is just really good

no fr I was thinking about this, why WOULD Charles put a bible verse on Arthur's grave?? like yes of course it is fitting to Arthur's character but I wonder why Charles chose a quote from a religion neither of them followed. I think there's a few possible options here:

Charles couldn't think of any other fitting quote, or at least not one that he could carve on the grave marker. The Beatitudes are very well known as far as bible verses go, so it's believable that Charles just happened to know it or heard it in passing.

Charles didn't realize Arthur wasn't religious. I don't really buy into this reason, but it's a possibility, I guess. Charles had talked about his spiritual beliefs to Arthur, but Arthur never really reciprocated that (probably because he had no spiritual beliefs to talk about) aside from the 'my people followed the alcohol' bit. Considering the time period, it would be fair of Charles to assume that Arthur had some belief in the Christian God.

Like you said, Charles could've actively looked for a fitting quote. If his journey of finding and burying Arthur was as long as I suspect, then he would've had plenty of time to try and find a good quote. But why choose the bible? Well, when you think of 'quotes you should put on a headstone', something like the bible is going to be your first pick. It's easy to find (they're literally everywhere) and it's guaranteed to have something that would be fitting for a grave marker.

But aside from why Charles chose a bible verse, I think the reason for choosing such a specific one is clear (I'm specifically using the high honor quote for this).

Charles was one of the few people that truly understood Arthur's internal conflict of being 'good' or 'bad'. He knew that Arthur could not be convinced that he was a good man, no matter how much evidence pointed to it being true. Charles knew that Arthur had done bad things. Charles probably couldn't even say for certain whether Arthur was truly a 'good man', because he was such a complicated individual. But at the end, Charles knew that Arthur TRIED. That he tried to be good, to make up for the bad things he'd done in his life, to make things RIGHT. Arthur believed that he deserved pain and suffering for the things he'd done. But Charles believed that his yearning to do better, his 'hunger and thirst for righteousness', redeemed him (see what I did there?).

anyways rant over sorry for another depressing rdr2 post oops

[chososcamgirl]

FINALLY time for my sister and her bf to break up. Everyone has been manifesting this (specifaclly me and my friends)

story/yap time! so my (older) sister is in uni and her bf is 2 years younger than her (the age gap isnt that problematic ig) and hes still in hs. Side note; her bf is rlly weird and acts like a pedo “as a joke” and he has texted me some rlly out of pocket shit on snap, so i hate him with my entire being.

they have been dating 4 ab a year ish now?

anyway fast foward to now, my sister is in uni and since shes wants to try to maintain a long distance relationship, she’ll text every update bout her life to him and such, but he wouldnt open her messages at all, be so fucking apathetic and not care a lot, then has THE AUDACITY to give her attitude. and it would always blow up into an argument.

i am TOTALLY on my sisters side like, bitch u dont just leave your gf on delivered.. while ur online the entire time… then argue with her ab how “she needs to calm down” “overreacting” “its not a big deal”

it might not seem that bad, but shes feels its totally unfair for her to put in so much effort into a long distance relatioonship and then getting ignored and her entire feelings dismissed. i saw sm screenshots and the her text to his texts ratio is CRAZY. Its exactly 10:1. Thats so bad.

This asshole fakes being sick so he doesnt have to spend time with his gf.. like how dickheaded fucking flaming piece of shit retard ass bitch do you have to be to pull that off?

like ive been seeing this entire relationship and it just gradually turned into such a toxic one.

thank u for reading thru my rant. hope my lil personal drama provided entertainment to your exaushted-ness!

-🎠

oh my god??? okay fuck ur sisters boyfriend fr like WTF???? not only is he a weirdo but also treats ur sister like shit? yeah no thank you please tell me they have broken up already😭 but ldr is so hard and he’s just putting in NO EFFORT when ldr depends on EFFORT like he’s acting like a total prick. LORD if there’s one thing that riles me up it’s shitty boyfriends. thank you for this 🎠 anon it was QUITE a read🙂‍↕️ <3 and i hope ur sister is feeling okay and breaks up with him and he has his karma <3333

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

what qpr ships do u ship that most see as allo & why do you ship em in a qpr/pr way? like what makes them interesting for you?

basically.....every ship to be honest?

tho it is especially bad if you are particularly fond of female characters specifically (✨ misogyny✨)

there are three main reasons why I tend to prefer qprs:

1. I hc a ton of characters as aromantic and while it is theoretically possible to be an aro in a romantic relationship (if you're a happily dating aro-spec more power to you) I personally could never. and thus my version of the characters that live in my soul and love gnawing on my remaining braincells wouldn't, either.

2. fandom and spite. I'm just so tired of all the stupid "there is no platonic explanation" (yes there is, it is called loving your friends) or "a platonic friend wouldn't do that" (yes they would, it is called loving your friends) or (picture of two people hanging out) OH MY GOD CHECK OUT THEIR ROMANTIC DATE FULL OF ROMANCE (<- cannot stress enough how these are just two ppl enjoying each other's company. do allos just hate their friends)

the most annoying part of that is the way it devaluates every friendship that isn't somehow (forcibly sometimes) linked to romance (they only sacrifice themselves for each other because of their *romantic* feelings specifically, everything they do with and/or for each other is basically just buildup for their REAL important relationship - as if, if they never started dating, it would all be "a waste" or "for nothing")

3. we've all seen it. two perfectly fine complex layered interesting characters become a couple and along with their new relationship status they also receive a new personality trait: being a couple. unfortunately for them, that is now also their only personality trait.

but I think that with qprs that is much more difficult to do? when you speak of romance everyone has a pretty clear picture in mind for what that means; qprs however are by definition undefinable. meaning that in order to make a qpr work you are more or less forced to have a little character study (even post relationship): how do they perceive the qpr? how is it different from other friendships and/or past romances? or even: how do they deal with being in a relationship outside of the widely accepted romance/platonic binary? (and that's just off the top of my head)

(though I think that another big thing for me is that for the longest time I thought that "being in love" and "having a crush" were synonyms. my nine yo brain thought that after confessing (regardless of the outcome) these feelings just started fading after a while since theyd outgrown their usefulness. so even if the feelings were reciprocated you just stayed together out of convenience after a while - until you "fell in love" with another person. I know by now that that's ideally not the case but I think that I've thought of it that way for long enough for it to be baked into my worldview lmao)

ft rant below the cut

its probably bc I'm thinking bout her a lot but it's pretty bad with Lucy Heartfilia. I feel like the devaluation and dismissal of Natsu's and Lucy's friendship is so bad (especially considering they are at the core of the show) ,,,,,, I honestly believe that if they were to start dating it would actually take away from their dynamiC AND! UNDERMINE!! THE!!! ENTIRE!!!! MESSAGE!!!!! OF!!! THE!!!! SHOWWWWW (THIS IS LITERALLY THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP MANGA GUYS THEY ARE ALREADY SOULMATES STOP ACTING LIKE THEIR BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP IS JUST A STEPPING STONE IM GONNA START BITING FOR REAL)

anyways. thanks for coming to my ted talk<3

[cypherthesilliest]

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHDUDHDNJDKDBDODNDODBSODNDORBDOD (warning for swears I guess- this is just a very angry rant on how pissed off I was today.)

So I was in class and my friend texted me. I went go text her back but this BITCH. BEHIND ME WAS LIKE ‘SaTuRn! YoUrE NoT SuPoSsEd To bE On YoUr PhOnE In ClASs!!!!’ OUT LOUD. AND ISTG THE ENTIRE CLASSROOM WENT SILENT, I WAS PITERALLY RED AND FUMING WITH EMBARRASSMENT AND ANGER. THE STINKY ASS HISTORY TEACHER WALKS OVER TO ME WITH HIS FUCKING NOT 4HEAD, BUT 15HEAD AND NERDY GLASSES, HOLDING OUT HIS HAND LIKE HE IS THE SHIT OR SOMETHING.

I SWEAR TO GGODOSHDVGDYFHDIDKRB

FIRST OFF THIS GIRL GOT FUCKING YELLED AT LIKE 40 TIMES IN THE DAMN YEAR SO SHE CANT BE TALKING. AND SHE JS SO ANNOYING GOD DAMN! SHE HAS A 5HEAD TO. LIKE BE QUIET. SHE ALSO BULLIES PEOPLE WHO ARENT LIKE HER, AND MAKES FUN OF GOTH AND ALTERNATE PEOPLE. SHE ALSO SAYS “uwu” AND SHIT LIKE THAT THINKING ITS FUCKING FUNNY. BUT ITS NOT SO PLEASE STFU!!!! (She probably has a Stanley cup oh my lords.)

NEXT MY HISTORY TEACHER IS PROBABLY A E-KITTEN. MY FRIENDS AND I MAKE FUN OF HIM ALL THE TIME- HE HAS THE VOICE OF FUCKING SPONGEBOB, SNORTS EVERY LIKE 15 MINUTES, WEARS THESE UGLY ASS GLASSES AND WATCHES ANIME. HE IS PROBABLY 32. HIS HAIR IS ALMOST ALL THE WAY GONE. YOU CAN SEE HIS BALD ASS HEAD THROUGH THE REMAINING HAIRS LEFT. HE WATCHES ANIME??? HOW BOUT HE FUCKING WATCH THAT HAIRLINE? OH WAIT. ITS ALREADY FUCKING GONE. HE TRIES TO HARD TO BE ‘SERIOUS’ AND ITS HILARIOUS AND HONESTLY EMBARRASSING FOR HIM. MY FRIEND TOLD ME HE ONCE SAID ‘you don’t want to get on my dark side!’ LMFAOOO-

HE ALSO HOLDS A FUCKING GRUDGE AGAINST ME AND I HAVE ABSOLUTELY BO IDEA WHY. LIKE IM SORRY THAT YOU ARE IN DENIAL??? IM SORRY YOU HAVE A FUCKING CRUSH ON THE VICE PRINCIPLE OR SOMETHING?? (Me and my friends joke that he is in love with the vice principal) WHAT DID I EVEN DO TO HIM?? ALL IM DOING IS DRAWING ON MY NOTEPAD FOR LIKE A MINUTE, THOSE BITCHES OVER THERE ARE MORE DISTRACTED FROM THE WORK THAN ME! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??? DAMN.

the amount of crimes I wanted to commit today was concerning.

Anyways baiiiii!!!! And if somehow my history teacher sees this, FUCK YOU.