#i already know i can’t keep living like this but what the fuck am i supposed to do!
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Revel your stories are absolutely addictive omg, you’ve brought back a love for spinister i haven’t had in like 2 years… i am loving the scavenger story oml… but nah if i was her i would so wanna throw myself off the fucking medical table right then and there 😭✋
Same 🤣
They will each get a fleshed out arc, but Spin gets dibs
Because I live in the southern part of the U.S. and we don’t do snow, I’m working from home today.
A Lifeless Ordinary Pt 15
Scavengers x Reader
• It’s easier to think, focus, when it’s just the two of you. Because something about you calms that muddle of paranoia and confusion in his head. Letting him focus on the feel of you against him, something he needs now. Can’t recharge without your warmth and feeling the steady beat of your heart, your soft breaths against him. Knows something is broken in him, but can’t get a grip on what it is or remember why, but you feel like warmth and home in a way he’s desperate to hold onto. “Want,” he mutters, battle mask rubbing against your jaw.
• “What do you want, Spin?” You ask, voice soft and soothing as the flat of the chevron on his helm gently bumps against your forehead, those troubled optics more focused than you’re used to. But you already know what he wants, don’t you? Startled when his mask retracts and his lips brush against your cheek as he raggedly vents. You’ve seen him retract it before to fuel, but never from this close and you reach to cup his face in your palms, feathering a thumb against his bottom lip. He’s handsome. Alien and strange, struggling to be understood and to understand in turn and your heart aches for him. “You saved me, you know. If you hadn’t found and caught me-” Can’t make yourself say the rest and know you can never really explain how much you owe him. Because that first time you’d seen him, you’d only seen a giant monster running toward you with his hands outstretched.
• “Always find you,” he manages, spark twisting with that remembered fear in your voice. Because he knows that feeling of helplessness. Wants to be your shelter, your protector. Shield you so you never are afraid again. Even if you don’t want him the way he needs you, he’ll still keep you safe. Those soft hands and kind eyes his shelter. “Want you.” Wishes he was better at this. That he could coax you with sweet words, but loses them as soon as he tries to say them.
• Hands still framing his face as your heart begins to race, your tongue darts out to wet your bottom lip and his optics track the movement before he leans in. And it occurs to you that you could push him away, lean back, instead you arch into him, your mouth brushing his. Realizing you do want this, him even if you’re uncertain about how it’s going to work or if it even can. Want those gentle hands that had rescued you, stubbornly reaching as you’d tried to hide, not giving up when he could have and just left you to starve.
• Shuddering as your soft mouth finds his own, his hips rock against the cradle of your thighs. And your little tongue swipes against the seam of his lips and he lets you in without hesitation. Seizing control as the slide of your mouth under his becomes a demand, his glossa sliding against your tongue, exploring. Wants to unwrap you, servos fisting in your top covering, the thin material tearing as you gasp into his mouth. Growling as he tries to figure out how to strip you, spike aching with the need to be inside you. To claim what’s his.
• “Slow down,” you manage, lips sliding to the corner of his mouth. Feel his hips grind against you as he growls hungrily. Servos sliding against your skin, pulling at your clothes as you laugh and splay a hand against his chassis, watching the rotor blades on his back flare out slightly. “Let me help, okay?” Pressing a kiss against his jaw, he finally eases back some, optics hungry as you struggle to strip still caged under him. His big, warm hands sliding possessively over skin as it’s exposed.
• “You think he’s fragging Tiny, yet?” Misfire asks, lingering near the closed door to Medbay and tempted to lean his helm against the door to try and hear. Can’t deny he’s jealous, that as much as he loves teasing you and watching you get flustered with him, he wants more. It’s not like you’re only Spinister’s. You’re all of theirs. A Scavenger. He just needs to convince you and his fellow Scavengers that sharing is not only possible, it’s for the best.
• “This isn’t funny,” Krok mutters, worried about Spinister being too rough with you. But really? The big medic is surprisingly gentle with you, fussing over you and clinging to you like he’s afraid to let you out of his sight. You’re one of his crew, though and Krok can’t help but be protective of you. After all, you’re so much smaller than the rest of them. Helpless and fragile. That situation with the tape had driven that home, his spark still constricting every time he thinks about it. Knowing you could have died because of their negligence. That he can’t fail you again.
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i found loads of pictures of my uncle i am going 2 cry
#he looked so sweet…..he looks SO much like my dad#i found the last picture of him that my granddad took a month or so before he died it’s so sad#trying to decide if i should tell my mum that i know about him or if i should just keep it to myself#idk if somethings wrong with me maybe it’s because i was already grieving before i found out#but it’s really getting 2 me i can’t concentrate on my uni shit i just keep thinking about it#i think i rlly need to talk about it with someone but i have no idea who or how or what i’d say. but it’s weird because it’s a secret yk#like i’m not even supposed to know he existed#idk. i have a gender clinic appointment next week and i’m going to ask if they can recommend any therapists#me being very very brave and trying therapy again after being forced into it my whole life and ending up a bit traumatised#idk. i feel bad that i’m alive and i’m wasting my life when my uncle got killed when he was just a kid#it makes me feel like i should be more grateful and do more with myself.#and i am going to try but i’d rather he was here instead. same with my granddad#every time i experience something beautiful or good i wish my granddad could experience it because he deserved it more than me#and the best i can do is experience it for him and be grateful. but i would chance places instantly if i could#him and his kid deserve to be here they were so special. i know i don’t know his kid but i’ve heard they were similar#so i know he must have been special too#i found a fb comment today from a family friend i’ve never met and she was saying that she only met my granddad once#but she called him gentle and it made me cry. because he was very scottish and sweary and traditional and masculine#so everyone just assumed he was tough and scary but if you knew him he was really quiet and kind#and i’m glad someone who only met him once could see that#i’m going to be half asleep for the rest of my life i think. i’ve been dreaming since my granddad died and i don’t feel like i ever woke up#nothing has felt real since i was nine years old. everything just stopped and never started again#i’ve just been waiting. i’m waiting for him to change his mind and come back. idk. i don’t know what to do with myself#and i continuously feel fucking insane and stupid for being this way. it’s like fresh grief all the fucking time#but it was fifteen years ago. why does it still feel this way#i can’t even tell people because they won’t understand why i’m still so bothered by it#he was my parent for nine years. i lived with him he was my sole caretaker#i was nonverbal and him and my brother were the only people on the planet who knew what my voice sounded like#he’d think it was silly if i failed my exam because i was crying about him instead#he’d tell me to whisht and stick in. so i will
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extremely frustrating situation
#overly long winded explanation incoming#so i’m gonna be living with two friends starting this fall#my parents bought a little townhouse and we’re renting from them#so they’re getting all of the paperwork and contracts and leases figured out#and these two friends are just. awful with deadlines. horrific. just the worst.#my dad has been flexible but he’s had to keep nagging them again and again to get these forms signed and whatever#and one of them finally finished the whole process and she’s good to go#but the other one still just needs to get the lease signed/notarized with their dad. like. asap. like within a few days.#and i’m trying my best to be like heyyyy sorryyyy not trying to nag or anything but we do need that ASAP…. it should be quick and easy…#i know you’re working double shifts every single day and your dog just died im so sorry#but my parents say you should be able to just go to the bank during a lunch break to get it notarized…..#please don’t be mad at me or my parents for saying we need this Now…… i’m sorry i know you have a lot going on but we do Need that done#right away….#anyway i don’t want you to be mad at me or think i’m just nagging so here’s a topic change! oh you didn’t respond to the topic change.#fuck me then. god. i can’t tell if you’re mad at me or not but i have the suspicion you Are. and that’s making Me mad at You#like god man just come the fuck on already you’ve missed every other deadline up to this point too. can you please just FUCKING get#everything submitted so we can stop worrying about it and just get excited to live together!! because it’s gonna be fun!!#but it’s worrying me too bc like… if this is how they’re acting before we’re even living together#and they’re missing all of these deadlines#am i gonna have to nag them to pay their rent every month?#it’s just frustrating bc it feels like they’re taking advantage of the fact that it’s my parents and not some other landlord#so they don’t think the deadlines my parents set are like. actual deadlines#meanwhile if it WASNT my parents they’d literally be out of a place to live because the housing market is so fucked there#and if you don’t get everything submitted within The Day then you’re no longer a candidate to rent the place#if you can even get to that point in the first place#so like. my parents are being exceptionally flexible and obv i can’t really know what this friend’s thought process is#but it feels like they’re just kinda taking them for granted and taking advantage of their kindness#like fuck dude just please come on
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good morning it is now 4 am and i have just finished watching atonement good night
#atonement#next tags are just going to be personal rants ignore that#i couldn’t sleep at all so i tried reading s&b and then fanfics and then the bell jar but it just didn’t hit#so then i tried writing but i just kept crying so i thought i’d watch a romance movie because yes#should’ve gone for four weddings and a funeral or pride and prejudice because what the hell is this#i didn’t know anything about this movie i just remember having it on my watchlist and saw ONE clip so i picked that help#and yes i ended up crying and the tears are still here but i’m also starting to think that that’s not entirely because of the movie at all#i stripped my bed off its sheets because the bright color annoyed me and it was already peeling off anyway and i was too lazy to put it rig#and when i pulled back from the screen after the movie finished and just look at how bare my bed is and how i’m in the middle of them#i just started crying again#and my legs are aching and i hate myself and i think i want to take a shower but maybe i’ll wait later on#i don’t think i’ll sleep at all honestly i’m not sleepy anymore#besides i’m thinking of going outside today just at the park i don’t know doing something#i always sleep really really late lately because my parents are out of country right now and no one is keeping me checked and i apparently#still can’t take care of myself. cried about that too it was something. why am the eldest daughter i’m so not fit for it#and then i always wake up at like 9 am and it’s already too late by then that i just never do anything productive#and it’s like i’ve been living in a simulation and i’m kinda going crazy and insane but it’s okay because today is going to be better#i hope because i’m not getting any sleep and i can finally go outside at 7 in the morning instead when it’s already way too hot#damn this is supposed to be one of the best years of my life??????? fuck off#also i can hear the azan subuh from the mosque by the neighborhood and i miss praying honestly#it’s so funny because i was happy to get my period because that meant i wouldn’t have to wake up so very early on in the morning#but i miss it now#hopefully my period will end soon#nadirants
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i should not have come into work after jury duty
#personal#had to get up at fucking dawn and now i’m stuck here#and everything sucks and i’m starting to fucking hate this place#but im not in a financial situation where i can just quit my job and find something new#i don’t even know what i’d do anyways every career path available to me fucking sucks#and i feel so stuck and everything feels so hopeless and i just don’t know what to do anymore#every day finances are looming over my fucking head and i can’t even complain about it because my situation is really not that bad#but im still having to lie to my family about it and i hate doing that#but i know they’re just gonna be disappointed in me and upset if i even hint at the truth#and i don’t wanna hear them tell me i have to fix it when i fucking can’t#i already know i can’t keep living like this but what the fuck am i supposed to do!#literally the only solution i could do would be to kms and i don’t want to do that i really don’t#but man what the fuck else do i have
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I need to uproot my entire life and start from scratch or I’m gonna go insane
#‘haha funny joke post’ excpet…. not really#I’m coming to the realization that I am just Not happy where I am and I don’t think that’s gonna change so long as I’m here#and that’s why I keep spiraling into intense depressive episodes when I haven’t done that since I last lived with my mom#part of it is my job I hate it and it’s draining the life out of me and they’re working me into the ground#I literally can’t even take time off because they don’t allow it until you’ve worked there for a year#but also there’s no BETTER job opportunities here#and I finally decided what I want to go school for but also there’s no schools here that offer it…#the closest one is in my home town four hours away as some sick fucking cosmic joke#and I’m so…. so lonely#I feel so disconnected from literally everyone around me#I know my friends care about me and I’m important to them#but again it’s that sense that I will NEVER be the most important thing in their life someone else will always be that#I mean… I’ve never EVER been the most important person to someone before someone else has always mattered more than I have#which especially sucks when I feel like I only know HOW to be close with someone in an extremely obsessive way#where I would do anything for them but that’s not necessarily returned#but… I just think it would be nice to have a relationship with someone where the entire time I’m like ‘yeah but they would never do x thing#for you because they already have a person they would do that for’#(said person usually being a romantic partner)#and I’m just… tired#I’m tired of it and I want it to stop I want to be somewhere I don’t constantly feel like shit and go through frequent periods I wanna kms#and I think I’m gonna have to move for school anyways so…. So what if I really DID just start over somewhere else#I worry I might end up in the same rut but also I’ll never know if I don’t try#and I’m not happy here I don’t think I WILL be happy here I just want to live with/close to someone where I feel like I’m a priority#and my wants and desires are treated like something just as important as theirs#I dunno… maybe I am just in another really bad depressive episode again but….#I feel like I need to change something to avoid falling back to everything and everyone I normally do#kaz rambles
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My job is confusing me so fucking bad rn
#I was already not having a great day and now this. uuugggghhhhh#woke up late ppl keep asking me what I’m doing for new years and give me a sad look when I say nothing#and yeah it is fucking depressing knowing I’m gonna be alone in my apartment doing nothing on new years#and also knowing that’s just gonna be how it is every night soon#and like yeah I’m excited about moving and being in my own space of course I am but…..#that doesn’t change that that wasn’t what I wanted and expected#and last year I had a good time with my old roommate on new years#my birthday is also in a couple weeks and that also makes me feel like shit#like. yep. another year. alone. on my birthday. but how is it any different from how it’s going to be every day now#last year again I had a great time with my old roommate and my ex and I was happy and excited and proud to have lived another year#now the idea of my birthday makes me want to cry and feel kinda sick#and now I’m hiding at work trying not to cry#and I’m just. so tired. and upset and it’s just.#not that I want the people I cared about to be miserable#but it fucking sucks knowing these people are not alone and are happy with other people and enjoying their lives#while I’m the one left all by myself to be alone#again. happened fucking AGAIN#but with this time with the added sting of being told ‘I think you need to be on your own to fix yourself first’#as if I have not always been alone…. and since fucking when has being alone EVER helped anyone do better#it just feels fucking cruel and I wanna go home#but I can’t I have another stupid six fucking hours of this shift#kaz rambles
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This is something I learned at one of the pre-op visits for my breast reduction! My surgeon was basically I think an independent surgeon (as I guess I would imagine is common for “cosmetic”/plastic surgeons?) and she was telling us a little bit about what to do for talking to insurance about the surgery and stuff, and she mentioned that for us going through insurance it would be at a particular hospital, but she also often did surgeries where people didn’t use there insurance, and she did those at some other place, and the price she charged up front was much lower, because that was the actual cost of the surgery (and equipment and everyone’s salaries etc.) and she had to raise the ticket price significantly when people would go through insurance, because the insurance company would negotiate that price down, and then keep some of the money. (Obviously for us and many others it still worked out to be cheaper for us out of pocket to go through insurance, but the amount she made was roughly the same even though it would look like she charged thousands more for my breast reduction than for someone not using insurance)
So, when you get those bills from your insurance after a doctors visit, and there’s that little table that tells you, this is the cost of the visit, this is the discount we got you, this is how much we paid, this is how much you still have to pay?
That line about “we got you this discount” is misleading. They actually caused the provider to raise the initial cost of your care by that amount, or more, in anticipation of the insurance company refusing to pay the full amount so that they could tell you they got you a discount.
"Why does a 15-minute visit with a doctor cost 150 bucks in America???" you're gonna want to read Money-Driven Medicine, by Maggie Mahar, and probably also The Social Transformation of American Medicine, to answer that question. It is not because your doctor is a greedy bastard; your doctor does not see most of that money. It is because the system is broken to a level that is truly impressive in its dedication to making a shit ton of money for insurance company executives and shareholders.
#my doctors visits are always around 3 or 400 for me because they never get billed as physicals because I also need prescriptions filled#and I need to go in 4x a year because adderall is so heavily restricted#and my last visit was actually $700 because they needed to drug test me not even for a real reason but because at the previous visit when#they drug tested me (also for bullshit reasons- to check that I was taking my meds instead of selling them or soemthing)#it came up with a false positive for opioids. which I don’t have access to or interest in and would not have been in my system#(mom’s nurse friend hypothesized that maybe the poppy seeds on the wverythign bagel I probably had for breakfast that morning set it off. it#seems like that’s a pretty common food to have and they should either warn you ahead of time about that or it shouldn’t be sensitive enough#to pick that up)#and insurance was like ‘we got you a $195 discount’ which is bs and ‘we paid $4’ which is even stupider#so now at my next virtual visit I’m gonna have to say hey I know the answer is no because of institutionalized stigma against me that you’re#not willing to push back on but I can’t fuckingn afford to keep paying $1600+ a year for what at this point is a middle man between me and a#pharmacist because I’ve been on this medication for fucking ages and all my other ones could be refilled at a yearly physical#so is there any way we could change things up somehow. and she’s going to say no. and I’m going to be angry and upset about it for days#back when i was at my pediatrician I had to go in every six months which was annoying but I would happily go back to that over four times a#year#but idk if the rules changed or if the rules are different for adults or if my doctor just sucks bc I brought that up early on and she was#like no this is what we do#I mean. I can technically afford it. I have the money I’m not going into medical debt or anything. I live at home with my parents and have#very low living expenses and my checking account is limited primarily by my own standards of how much I’ve decided I want to be putting into#my savings account each paycheck. but when the biggest expense in my life is something that already frustrates me and that I know is exp too#expensive and that I feel I shouldn’t have to be doing anyway and I know I’m being treated unfairly#it just feels so much worse. having to take money out of my savings account wouldn’t be the end of the world. but it feels wrongs#and I only make like $36#lmao I forgot about the commas thing.#like $36k a year so I also am aware that even though I’m in a lucky place where I’m stable that’s not *that* much money and I feel like that#is how I tend to think of things. because I’m not going to live with my parents forever and I’m deeply aware that for most people who have#to pay a rent or a mortgage $36k is the lower end of things and a seven fucking hundred dollar doctors bill is a big fuckingn deal#for a regular fucking doctors appointment#it’s not like I fucking asked to be drug tested they said ‘pay us to look at your pee or else’#it’s all bullshit
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#ok sorry for all these posts but i’m trying to take my own advice and not just keep everything in rn#tw that i’ll tag separately at the end but: mental health bipolar addiction vague mentions of sui attempts and just general negativity sorry#hearing that he struggled with manic/low episodes too on top of addiction (etc) is just so fucking. !!!!!!!!!#as someone with bipolar 2 and a recovering addict this just keeps hitting harder and harder and i think about all the times i was manic#and was lucky enough to get help that kept me here on this earth#and it’s so fucking upsetting that even all the money in the world can only get you so far w these things. our world is not set up to help#its set up to make these struggles even harder than they already are and just. fuck#i won’t lie it makes me scared knowing that grief often triggers some sort of episode for me too and now i’m at my parents place w all these#photos of my dad on the walls and i’m in the same rooms that i fell in love w 1d in#i’m so fucking sick of people dying for basically the same fucking shit#most of my friends who OD’d or took their lives also had bipolar and addiction and i’m just like#what is it even gonna take for things to change#dealing w the inevitability of death is one thing but all these young ppl going thru their own versions of the same shit and nothing changes#it gets harder and harder each year and i can only hope that nobody else ik including myself won’t suffer the same fate here#but how am i supposed to hold onto that hope when it just. keeps. happening#i feel so weird making this post publicly bc ik it’s pessimistic and negative but my heart fucking hurts for so many reasons#and i wish i was home rn. i’m honestly tempted to just go back tomorrow like how tf am i supposed to deal w this and keep it to myself#rraahhhhhhhhhHHHHHHH#i can’t stop crying haha#rowyn rambles#tw mental health#tw sui ideation#tw addiction#tw death#tw overdose
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PLS I LOVE THE NEW GORL AU GIVE US MORE
pretty pls with a cherry on top 🎀🩷
new girl au — in which you live with theodore, mattheo and lorenzo
“guys, i have a very, very serieus question. it’s been on my mind for a long time ever since my friend brought it up, and i told her, no way! that’s… that can’t be true, nuh-uh, they would never! but she—” “WHAT IS IT?!” mattheo yells, cutting off your frantic rambling as your three roommates stand in the kitchen, eyeing you with puzzled expression.
“okay… so, uhm” you reluctantly begin, unsure how to ask the burning question that’s been nagging at you. “do you guys… like… ever think about me…” you start awkwardly, but your words trail off as you hesitate, your cheeks already heating up at the thought.
“if we ever think about you? well, yes, it’s quite hard not to when you blast your music through the entire apartment. you seriously have no fucking taste in—” “no! no… that’s not… that’s not what i mean…” you instantly interrupt theo, still trying to collect your scattered thoughts as you nervously fidget with your fingers.
you’re unsure if you even want to know the answer at this point, yet you suddenly blurt out the pressing question that’s been on your mind, “have you guys ever thought about me while touching yourself?!” you ask in one big breath, then let out a deep sigh of relief.
“ohhhh” they all say in unison, not even shocked by the question you thought was inappropriate and awkward, worried about ruining the dynamics. “yeah, well, obviously.” mattheo states nonchalantly, and theo and lorenzo casually nod in agreement, causing your jaw to gradually drop in stunned disbelief.
“what… what do you mean OBVIOUSLY?!”
“i mean that we obviously think about you while, y’know, spanking the monkey.” mattheo adds.
“EW… ew, ew, ew. DISGUSTING!”
“yeah, like yesterday when i—” theo chimes in.
“YE— yesterday?!”
“now that you mention it, i had a sex dream about you not too long ago, actually.” lorenzo comments casually, causing your eyes to widen. “a se— what happened in… the dream?” “we had… sex…? it’s quite literally in the name—” “I CAN’T— i can’t deal with this right now, oh my god.” you exclaim, raising your hands in the air in bewilderment, clearly having heard enough as a look of disgust forms on your heated face before defeatedly stomping away, already regretting asking them in the first place.
“i am NEVER asking you guys any questions again.”
“hm. she’s so freakin’ cute.”
ੈ♡˳
reminder: reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and keep me motivated. ty! ♡
#♡₊˚ for arina 🍒・₊#anon#new girl au#theodore nott#theo nott#mattheo riddle#lorenzo berkshire#enzo berkshire#theo nott smut#theodore nott smut#mattheo riddle smut#enzo berkshire smut#lorenzo berkshire smut#theodore nott x reader#theo nott x reader#mattheo riddle x reader#enzo berkshire x reader#lorenzo berkshire x reader#mattheo riddle blurb#mattheo riddle drabble#mattheo riddle imagine#theodore nott blurb#theodore nott drabble#theodore nott imagine#enzo berkshire blurb#enzo berkshire drabble#enzo berkshire imagine#theo nott blurb#theo nott drabble#theo nott imagine
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POV: you wake up in the middle of your own autopsy with force powers then immediately get brainwashed into falling to the dark side
I was reminded of the fact that I haven’t drawn inquisitor!fives’ autopsy scars in way too long so here I am, delivering a few too many Fives 💀
Anyway I know I don’t post much about the AU on here so props to anyone who knows what’s going on here even slightly, I’ve decided to nerf siren!echo (who WAS part of this AU yes I know quite random) but since him being turned into a siren kinda limits what I can do with him story wise he is now an AU of the AU.
That means the name I came up with for the au (dead mean walking/swimming or dmw(s) as I’ve been tagging it) is kinda irrelevant. I’ll just call this the inquisitor fives AU but if you have any AU name suggestions feel free to drop them.
Here are some of the major factors of the AU:
It gets worse before it gets better
(WARNING: there are quite a few heavy topics covered in the AU such as torture, dehumanisation and su*cidal thoughts, so pls read at your own discretion)
- fives wakes up in the middle of his own autopsy with force sensitivity, then gets brainwashed into falling to the Dark Side by Palpatine. As an Inquisitor, he does not remember anything about his life because those memories were blocked by Palpatine.
- Palpatine discovers that Fives is essentially immortal, and any injuries inflicted on him will heal no matter how bad.
- when echo gets rescued from skako minor, he is recalled to Kamino for experimentation, first of all so they can figure out what the Techno Union did to him, second of all to see how he survived his injuries. Nala se, who knows that fives came back to life, theorises that since he and echo were tube twins they share the “immortality”. He is kept on Kamino for VERY extensive experimentation where terrible things happen to him (cough vivisection cough lobotomy) and so never joins Clone Force 99 even if he did work with them on Anaxes.
- Fives in this time is sent out on many missions by Palpatine that involve him unaliving many people, and after the rise of the Empire he hunts a few Jedi.
- Fox, who throughout the war had experienced many blackout missions where he woke up afterwards covered in blood, is the last living Coruscant Guard commander. (Thorn dies, stone vanishes one day, Thire mistakes Vader for a Jedi and pays the price) Despite the best efforts of his son secretary Dogma (no way!?) Fox has very little will to live, is extremely depressed and borderline suicidal, he would like nothing more than to bite the dust, but still feels he has a duty to the very few remaining corries and so tries to keep it together (he is failing)
- one day Palpatine decides he doesn’t need Fox to do his bidding anymore since he has much better assets at his disposal (Fives), and decides it would be ironic to sic his pet clone inquisitor onto Fox. Fives still doesn’t remember anything, and only knows that Fox is responsible for the main scars on his body and believes fox is the reason he doesn’t remember most of his life, and so sets out to kill fox. They battle it out (ref to that one animation wip I posted) and fives is on the verge of killing fox (who didn’t really try to fight that much, like I said he would very much like to die and dying at the hand of the vod he “killed” seems fitting to him) when he gets a sudden vision of echo.
- all fives knows is echo is extremely important to him and must be rescued and that snaps him out of palpatine’s control. He knows he probably can’t rescue echo alone, and since fox has already been betrayed by the empire he decides “fuck it” and basically kidnaps fox and they run. They make a deal, that once echo has been found, Fives will put Fox out of his misery (fox feels that fives should be the only person to kill him, and only goes along with the plan because he refuses to let anyone else kill him)
- fox and fives proceed to go on an intergalactic road trip to “rescue echo” even though neither of them know how to do that. They become closer friends throughout, and fives slowly regains bits and pieces of the Before
- meanwhile during the destruction of Kamino, the bad batch stumble on echo and rescue him and he stays with them for a little bit before leaving with Rex
- meanwhile Dogma helps the rest of the remaining Corries desert, kills too many storm troopers, and tries to go after his buir fox and the bastard inquisitor who kidnapped him
This is the main stuff you need to know for the AU haha so if you’ve got new name suggestions I’m all ears ty!!
#dmw(s)#back in black AU#dead men walking AU#my art#star wars#star wars the clone wars#the clone wars#star wars art#star wars tcw#sw tcw#tbb echo#arc trooper echo#star wars au#inquisitor fives#inquisitor#force sensitive fives#fox and fives#tcw fives#clone trooper fives#arc trooper fives#fives#star wars alternate universe#clone wars fanart#star wars clone wars#clone wars#clone wars au#commander fox#domino twins
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my tags got out of hand
i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.
and that should be fine; but it's never fine.
i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.
for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.
we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.
i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.
restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.
#oh my god i’m not the only person in the whole world who has Struggles and Difficulties#i am in pharmacy school which means i have no money no time etc and so every single thing that would bring an iota of joy or escape#must be cut for time because you haven’t studied for your exam next month so no you cannot start watching that the show.#and because you missed the deadline two weeks ago for that group project that the others did for you there will be no sitting at the piano#also you made a c and not a b on the exam yesterday so maybe instead of ordering takeout like you said you were going to#(because you know that you don’t buy real food on the rare occasion you go to the grocery store)#instead you’re gonna have to pick through your bare cabinets and empty fridge freezer for something. or just not eat#like you sometimes do#this is not a problem bc you’ve saved your money which you can’t afford to waste#that’s what they told you when you started: tell your friends you can’t see them much because a doctoral program is a time commitment#they said: you need to quit your side hustles and get an internship#they said: you need to ask for cleaning supplies for your birthday—and clothes and shoes bc tuition is very expensive#this isn’t some deficiency on your part. everyone else lives in isolation with no hobbies or entertainment too.#the only difference is that THEY spend all that time studying and reviewing and working and preparing—#while YOU are laying in bed all day because the thought of writing that paragraph is nauseating and tomorrows exam is slowly enveloping you#and you can tell because you had to retake those 2 classes and you have to retake another one this summer.#never mind that you still don’t know anything. just keep playing the part. stay afloat until this week’s exam is over#then you can worry about next week’s exams#(you WILL worry about next week’s exams)#learning the ukulele isn’t going to ease your stress it’s just gonna make you feel guilty#what do you mean you already feel guilty because you’ve pulled the ukelele out exactly twice since mom gave it to you for christmas?#that webseries updates 4 times a week. can you honestly tell me that you have 4 hours a week where you don’t feel shame#about not exceeding expectations anymore?#i thought not. close your compute— you didn’t even take it out of your bag.#do you ever take it out of your bag at home?#you don’t.#well i can see why you’re such a fucking failure#it’s 3:27 am but i won’t bother telling you to shower or brush your teeth- i know you don’t do that.#you went to bed three and a half hours ago now it’s time to sleep#maybe we’ll see what tomorrow has for us
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starring: eddie brock x male reader x venom
request: hi!! can i request a eddie brock/venom x male reader smut where eddie finally introduces reader to venom and venom can’t help but let all his dirty thoughts about what he wants to do to reader out. i’m talking bondage, breeding, ass eating (ikyk his tongue goes crazy)
warnings: smut, monster fucking, freaky!venom, HUGE DICK VENOM, unprotected sex, creampie, ass eating, cum eating, ball and dick cleaning i guess
as much as eddie did NOT want to introduce you and venom, the pestering was getting a little to much from the both of you so he decided finally it was time, calling you over to his apartment and slowly letting venom come out from his shoulder, a floating head connected to a tendril coming out of your boyfriends back was weird but you've seen weirder.
"y/n meet venom and venom meet y/n" eddie says "pleased to eat you y/n" venom says without mush of a filet, your ass was nice looking and he wanted that "pleased to eat you to venom" you shake one of his tendrils and immediately wipe the sort of slime on your pants.
"i like him, he has a sort of humor" venom says out loud "venom" eddie tries to stop him from starting to embarrass him "don't worry i think you're kinda cool to venom" you say with a laugh "your lips look really nice can i cum on them" he blurts out unexpectedly "well that's enough talking from you v" eddie tries to get venom back inside his body but he takes over instead.
"well i mean if you want to but im not against it" you smile to show off your lips more the symbiote "when eddie told me about you i thought i wasn't going to like you but now that you're here i want to do so many things" he says and eddie already knows what this is going to turn to so he tries to stop him but venom is just to strong, staying in control for just a little longer.
"oh pray tell more" you scoot closer to him "well i want to eat your delicious looking ass, i want to fuck you till you cant think, i want to cum all over your pretty face, and i want to make you my boyfriend" he says all in one breath with a complete smile through it all "well we could do some of those things today" you say getting on his lap.
who would've thought you'd be so open to getting fucked by an alien but hey who am i to judge (you people would let a fox fuck you aka nick wilde but hey i would too) you're quick to start making out with him, his long tongue exploring your mouth and making it's way down your throat, he was surprised to see you had no gag reflex which had his mind running.
eddie watched from inside as you lubed up venom fat cock with your saliva and slide all nineteen inches into you "haha i told you the human could fit me eddie" venom cheers as you bounce up and down on his long shaft, an obvious belly bulge poking out from your stomach and sort of in your chest, but venom still knew you were a puny human so he took it slow with you.
letting you rock your hips back and forth of his cock until he could feel himself cumming, and listening to your moan about how you love venoms' big dick so much had him aching to fill your pretty ass up but the things is, is this safe like symbiotes can cum a lot and like i mean A LOT so like will this hurt you?
meh i guess there's only one way to find out, unloading his pent up cum into your stretched ass that was unable to hold his cum in you for to long before it was spilling out, you looked a little out of it but you were a live so that counts for something "now how about we try that other thing" you ask with a weak grin on your face.
venom flipping you over and shoving his long tongue down your hole to lick the excess cum out while you cleaned` him up down below, lick the cum from his fat balls and making sure his cock was all nice and shiny, eddie just had to watch as you slutted yourself out to the alien but he's not gonna lie he was kinda turned on by it all.
"can we keep him eddie" venom asks still face deep in your ass "id love to stay plus i cant really walk so" you chuckle and for some reason just hearing you laugh made venoms cock throb, he doesn't know why but maybe it's a sign to go again
taglist:@mailmango @spermeboy @ghostking4m @gayaristocrat @addictedtomalepits @staarb0y @crispysoup318 @its-ares @gargoylesworld09 @znerac
#venom#venom x reader#venom x male reader#x male reader#x male y/n#gay smut#x male smut#gay#x male#male reader#bottom male reader#venom symbiote#venom x you#eddie brock#veddie#eddie brock x reader#eddie brock imagine#eddie brock x you#eddie brock x venom
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The spell worked, sort of, but not how I wanted. I did have the body of my dreams – I was Garrett now, but I didn’t realize the catch was that I wouldn’t be able to control what I’m doing unless I’m totally alone. And Garrett, or, me, I guess – I’m nearly never alone! The frat house pretty much always has someone in it, and I’m super popular, too. I thought being Garrett would be fun and easy, but stuck like this, it’s torture!
I figured out the ritual from this old book I found at that occult shop downtown, thinking it would be a quick way out of my boring life and into something… well, something way more interesting. Garrett had it all, or so I thought. Girls loved him, he was in the best shape, and everyone wanted to be his friend. But nobody told me about this weird restriction, or maybe I just didn’t read that part carefully enough. I guess the idea was I’d “experience” Garrett’s life, but it’s like watching a movie, except I’m the star and I can only move on my own terms when no one else is around.
And god, my roommate, he’s actually so stupid. When I can’t control my actions, we bro out all the time, but he’s so vapid. I guess I’m not much better, but it’s actually infuriating. You’d think we could have a conversation that’s not about girls, parties, sports, or video games. But no, every time he starts talking, it’s like Garrett’s body just falls right into the rhythm of it, responding automatically. I tried fighting it at first, but it’s like this autopilot takes over, and I’m just... stuck.
I’ve been scouring the room whenever I get a chance to control things, like right now, looking for any sign or clue on how to undo this. There has to be something I missed. I rummaged through his messy closet, which is packed with clothes, gym stuff, and random junk, none of it useful. The guy keeps his stuff in total chaos, and I feel weirdly exposed, like I’m actually pawing through my own things.
Shit, no, is that the door jangling? I thought I would have a couple of hours to try and figure out how to fix this. Who the hell knows when I’ll get another chan-
Fuuck, bro. Why’s my roomie home early? Thought he went to his ‘rents for the weekend. I was just about to jerk one out too. Ah well, maybe he’ll be down for some Call of Duty or something. I could use a beer.
“Yo, dude, what’s up? You back already?” I say, grinning like an idiot as I lean against the door frame, flexing a bit without even realizing it. Dude probably thinks I’m just chillin’, but nah, I’m feelin' like a boss.
He laughs, dropping his bag by the door and shrugging. “Yeah, man, got bored at home. Figured I’d head back early. Parents were driving me nuts.”
“Oh, for sure, dude,” I nod, grabbing a can of beer from the mini-fridge by my bed. “Parents, am I right? They just don’t get it, bro.” I crack it open, chugging half of it in one go, feeling the cool rush. Damn, that’s good.
He slaps my shoulder, laughing. “Dude, I swear, it’s like every time I go back, it’s the same speech about responsibility and blah blah blah. Like, whatever, right?”
“Oh, totally, man,” I laugh, shrugging it off. “Why they gotta be like that, y’know? We’re just out here living, they don’t get it.” I toss him a beer, feeling that chill vibe kickin’ in, like nothing in the world matters but just hanging with my bro. This is what it’s all about – no worries, no drama, just cold beers and good times.
“Bro, I’m feelin’ a COD sesh,” I say, grabbing the controller off the couch. “You down?”
He grins. “Hell yeah, let’s wreck some noobs.”
We crash down on the couch, controllers in hand, beers in easy reach, and it’s like all the worries in the world just melt away. I’m trash-talkin’, throwin’ down taunts, and we’re both laughing so hard my sides hurt. I don’t even remember the last time I felt this alive.
“You’re so bad, dude,” I laugh, jabbing him in the ribs as I get another kill. “How are you still this bad?”
“Shut up, bro!” he shoves me back, laughing too, and I’m grinning like an idiot.
Fuck, life is good, I think, as I take a gulp of my beer. I got my bros, I got my beer, and I got my games. What more does a dude need? Life’s good.
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pregnancy was never easy. if it was, fathers could do it.
and truly it was something that toji had learned throughout being married to you and seeing your belly swell with your baby girl. the constant mood swings, back pains, cravings and all. but toji is a wonderful husband. for that, he wouldn’t change it for the world.
anything you want, you get even if your midnight cravings hit. toji will still get up and get dressed before drive to the nearest store that has your favorite red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting.
but being pregnant also means that toji has gotten far more protective than usual. more staying by your side, more checking up on you through his phone, more hiring security cameras and guards to keep you safe. despite your protests, he still thinks it’s necessary.
“sweethea—what the heck?” toji grumbles, eyes almost popping out of his sockets to see you’re not beside him. eyes glancing left and right and that’s where the panic begins to seep into him. “fuck” he scrambles out of the bed, seeing the clock hits at two am,
“no, no, no—“ he feels bead of sweats racing on his temples before slipping on his shoes and a shirt over his head. thinking that something might have happened to you.
god, i can’t go through this. not again. not you. please, please, not you.
toji may not have been the most religious man that has ever walked on earth. but he will beg on his knees and plead to the man up above to never take you away from him,
and just as he about to grab a gun off his safe, he hears the refrigerator door shut downstairs. the sounds making him halt as he quick to whip his head to the source of it.
his eyebrows then furrowed, putting the weapon down carefully before stepping out of your shared room. sometimes he curses himself for buying a home far too big because now he feels like it’s an eternity coming down the stairs. but again, he bought it for you.
the living room lights are already turned off, the only dimmed light he could see is from the kitchen. not only that, but he could hear the metals clinking. so slowly, with ever so confusion written across his face, toji approaches slowly
and there you are ever in your glory, body draped in your favorite pink silky robe sitting on the floor with your back against the fridge. a plate of not one but two red velvet cake slice in your hand as the other forks your way through the delicious treat.
toji heaves out a breathe of relief, knowing that nothing had happened to you. and the noise is loud enough for you to stop chewing and look up. eyes widen at your husband’s figure standing only a few feet away,
“hi” your voice sounds small. almost like embarrassed because you feel like a kid who got caught stealing a cookie off the jar,
“sweetheart” the nickname falls from his mouth like he’s happy to see you after being a part for so long. “what are you doing?”
your mouth slowly begin to chew, a cute smile making its way as your eyes glinting with innocence that toji can’t deny but feel like he’s falling in love with you all over again.
“the baby is hungry” is the only thing you can muster to a response, like it’s an obvious thing. “she wants cake” you giggle quietly,
oh yes, he is definitely falling harder for you again
“the baby is—“ he sighs, hands coming up to rub his face up and down. not because he’s upset but rather amused. “she wanted red velvet cake?”
“mhmm!” you nod vigorously, taking another big bite of the dessert. “and cream cheese frosting!”
and for the first time in a while, toji laughs with his head shaking at the sight of his beautiful wife eating cake at two am. “she told you that?”
“yes! i heard her whisper to me before i go to bed ‘mama.. can we eat the cake? but wait until dada goes to sleep’ because she knows how dada doesn’t allow mama to eat cakes” you smile at him, doing your best of baby voice. licking the cream off the utensil,
toji is grinning so hard he feels like his cheeks are hurting, his eyes are full of love when he looks at you and the little girl you’re growing in there,
“well dada is just taking care of mama so she will be healthy. she needs veggies and whole foods” he takes another step closer, sliding next to you. his eyes never leaving yours, looking at you so lovingly by the way you eat. “i thought something happened to you.. i was panicking”
you pout, not wanting to cause anymore distress on him. “i’m sorry i shouldn’t have done that. but i couldn’t wake you up, you looked exhausted”
he frowns, bending his knees close to his chest. “you should’ve. i would gladly grab the cake for you hence you asked, baby” he leans forward and kiss your temple,
a grateful smile places on your lips, humming in a contentment at the feeling of his soft mouth on your skin. “hmm, i know—“ you cradle his cheek with your free palm, thumbing against his cheekbone and down to his scar.
he used to be so insecure about it until you made him not to be. giving so much praises and kisses about the scar that you think look so hot on him.
“want some?” you extend a spoonful of the cake towards his mouth, in which he opens almost immediately, biting onto the sweet goodness. “how lucky i am to have you, mr. y/l/n”
he laughs, wiping the walnut crumbs off the corner of his lips. “i should be the one saying that to you, doll”
maybe second chances do exist. and it’s a privilege for a person to earn one. toji may had done very questionable things in the past that would make a person think twice in befriending him, let alone married to him but change is real.
and the flaws are what makes it him. it’s one of the reason you are drawn to this beautiful man. because despite every negative seed he may have in him, he still tries. trying and trying to be the person you deserve and the father that your baby girl deserve.
it upsets you to no end knowing that everyone can’t see that. they just see him as a cold, reserved, selfish man who keeps himself closed from the world to see. they don’t see the tears he had shed almost every night for failing to be perfect, they don’t see him having a small banter with you because he wanted to take your last name, they don’t see the amount of times he locked himself in his room because of people talkinh, they don’t see him always rushing out of his office on fridays because he wants to get home before you do just so he can cook your favorite dish,
they don’t see all of that but toji doesn’t care. he doesn’t need their validation nor approval. he just needs yours.
because it’s you he always comes home to. you are his salvation. you are his peace. you are his dream came true.
you, you, you, you.
before you could protest, he presses his lips against yours and move his hand down to your bump,
“happy doesn’t even begin to describe how grateful i am to be your husband”
#lmao idk how it got from pregnancy cravings to angst#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro fluff
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REVENGE (KEEP US TOGETHER) (1.9k)
a/n. this bkg lives rent-free in my mind. i had scenes and interactions that i wanted to insert in this scenario, but i think i blacked out 300 words in and bakugou and y/n just took the reins from there. anyway, i hope y'all enjoy this one!
c.w. pro-hero!katsuki, aged up (~26), mentions of injuries, mentions of canon-typical violence
the first thing that registers in your mind the moment your eyes flutter (creak) open is that the ceiling looks unfamiliar.
the second thing is that everything hurts like a motherfucking bitch.
but apparently being in a wholly foreign place is enough to trigger the metaphorical alarms in your head, at least enough for you to still muster the strength and presence of mind to scan the area—first, the space on your right—despite the way your body’s practically screaming at you.
what immediately catches your attention is your right arm. it’s nowhere in sight, but you can still vaguely recognize it being attached to the rest of your torso. it takes you a second to realize it’s elevated and wrapped in a thick, white cast, and the moment you do, another wave of pain courses through you, and you find yourself gritting your teeth in its wake.
a few feet behind your heavily bandaged arm seem to be two doors, one of which you think is the entrance to this dimly lit room, the other probably leading to a comfort room.
and, if all of these aren’t indicators enough, the faint beeping sound echoing across the small area gives you the definitive answer that yes, this is a hospital and yes, you are on a fucking hospital bed.
how the fuck did you end up here?
stifling a groan, you attempt to turn your head to the left to examine the other half of the room.
and that’s when you see it.
you freeze—not because the minuscule movement is causing a nauseating throbbing in your frontal lobe—but because you see it.
the all-too-familiar, unruly ash-blonde spikes that can belong to only one person.
from where you lay flat on top of the increasingly uncomfortable bed, you can barely see his forehead, but there’s no denying it.
even more so when the person speaks up.
“you’re awake.”
upon hearing his gruff voice, your stomach instantly drops in dread, so much so that it physically hurts, and you’re starting to think that maybe you’re bleeding internally, too, and that in the midst of whatever happened to you, you hurt your organs as well.
when he says your name in question a few beats later, you make no move to respond, but deep down you know you can’t just close your eyes and pretend you’re asleep again to avoid regarding him entirely.
he literally saw you moving just now.
and so you try to sit up, at least for a whole millisecond, because a pulse of pain shoots through the entirety of your body, and you can’t help the wrangled moan that tumbles out of your lips at the scalding sensation. you barely see him through your half-lidded eyes, but the man jumps up on his feet, finally coming into full view.
bakugou, who’s decked out in full hero gear is looking uncharacteristically worried when he asks: “are you okay?”
you clench your eyes closed, fighting the urge to squirm in discomfort. you merely shake your head, as subtly as you can lest you bust a fucking nerve on your neck, before: “elevate my backrest. i can’t sit up.”
“shit, right.”
it takes him a beat to figure out the controls at the side of your bunk, but when he finally does, you find yourself slowly inclining up until to about 45 degrees.
up 45 degrees and now face-to-face with him.
once the contraption clicks into place, bakugou sits back down on what looks like a stool beside you, an inexplicable expression etched on his features.
and before you can even think better against them, the words are already out of your mouth.
“what are you doing here?”
that must not have been what he was expecting or wanting to hear, because his face immediately contorts into a look of borderline offense.
“the fuck do you mean ‘what am i doing here’?” he scoffs, folding his muscled arms across his expansive chest. “you almost got abducted, dumbass. you’re lucky you made it out alive.”
abducted?
the last thing you remember before you most likely blacked out and were sent to the hospital was that you were just exiting the grocery store that you frequent on Fridays after work when an oddly familiar-looking man appeared before you. he didn’t seem too harmless right up until he emitted his quirk that sent you tumbling across the asphalt and…
that’s just about where your memory cuts off.
“what happened?” you manage to choke out, suddenly feeling scared.
“as i said,” he starts, voice low and strangely hesitant, “you almost got abducted. you passed out after you hit the neighboring building arm first, but a pro-hero patrolling the area managed to get you before the villain could take you with him.”
you gawk at the man. “what the hell would a villain want to do with me?”
at that, bakugou’s face hardens.
“…’s because they want to get back at me.”
a million things beg to be spoken out of your mouth in an instant, but what you end up saying is: “why are you here, then? shouldn’t you be with the police or in the agency if this guy’s got a vendetta against you?”
“seriously?” he retorts, incredulous, before shaking his head in what you think is frustration. his eyes shift to the rest of your body, “you’re fucking injured and yet you’re asking all these stupid questions.”
you feel yourself flame in indignation, but you bite your tongue. if you allow yourself to speak, you may end up saying something you’ll regret later.
“…but if you must know,” he pipes up all of a sudden, catching you off guard, “they said i was your emergency contact.”
his voice is quiet when he asks: “you didn’t change it?”
you gulp despite yourself. thankfully, his eyes remain trained on yours and do not drift down to your throat.
“i forgot to,” you lie out of your ass.
you are not about to tell him it’s because you haven’t had the heart to remove him as your favorite contact, let alone delete his number.
“well…” he starts, diverting his gaze onto the pillow beside you, “…that and the fact that this villain has been after me ever since he got out of prison. fucking bastard can’t accept i apprehended him so fast back then. guess it hurt his fucking ego and wanted revenge.”
you stare at the pro-hero, debating as to whether or not to say the next thing, ultimately deciding for it.
“…and he was planning to do that by hurting me.”
bakugou’s eyes drift towards you again at your statement, a serious glint in them, although he doesn’t say anything in response.
a long pause.
“why didn’t you just tell them we aren’t together anymore?” you finally ask. “you could’ve just referred them to my family or best friends or something.”
“and have them be on my ass about us breaking up?” he quips almost instantaneously. “you were rushed to the er—i didn’t have time for that shit. and in case you’ve forgotten from that time they found out about us—”
“of course i haven’t,” you cut him off, eyes trained downcast on your fiddling fingers. “it wasn’t like i wanted the media to find out we were together in the first place. my point is that it would save you a lot of trouble if we just suck it up and announce it. that way, you won’t have to play pretend and be forced to be my guardian, and i don’t get targeted by vengeful villains anymore.”
when you finally look up at the man, the frown that found its place on bakugou’s mouth at the start of your spiel has apparently now deepened into a scowl.
“what?” you ask before you can rein yourself in.
“i’m sorry you got hurt,” he states sternly. “ i should’ve kept a closer eye on you despite everything, and i’m taking full responsibility for what happened. but—”
“—katsuki,” you try to interject.
“—but don’t think i’m in front of you right now just because i feel guilty or that i just didn’t want to deal with the fucking press,” he huffs. “i—”
you wait for a moment for him to continue, but he doesn’t. his mouth only opens as if he’s going to say something before it closes again, then opens, and closes.
despite yourself, your heart physically aches at the sight of him struggling to verbalize his feelings. you hesitate for a second, before finally deciding to say it.
“…i know what you mean.”
at that, bakugou whips to look at you, an almost imperceptible, stunned expression on his sullen features. “you do?”
you nod. “…i still care for you, too, you know? even if i try to talk myself out of it, i still find myself going through the news all the time to make sure you’re alright.”
and you really, really do.
because, at the end of the day, you didn’t break up because you fell out of love or anything remotely close to that.
it was an amicable agreement to part ways because you had absolutely little to no time for each other—what with bakugou’s demanding schedule as a rising pro-hero—and almost every little time he had free was always in conflict with your own career.
you both tried to make it work, you really did—adjusting and compromising and adapting in every way you could—but when it all boiled down to it you were always left disappointed, frustrated, and frustratingly yearning for each other.
and so before the love you’ve carefully cultivated together could morph into ugly resentment—with you hating each other—you both decided to just call it quits.
you chance a glance at the man, whose gaze has visibly softened at your admission.
and you wish you really couldn’t, or you wish you’d forget how to recognize it, but you can’t deny the look of what you’ve long identified as longing that’s written all over his face.
but before you can say anything about it, a soft array of knocks resonates from the door, catching both of your attention.
not a few seconds after, a nurse squeezes herself through the entrance, holding a clipboard close to her chest.
“sorry to interrupt your conversation,” she starts, painfully timid, “but i just wanted to inform you that the premiere suite is now ready, and we can now move the patient there.”
you whip (as much as you can, at least) to look at bakugou, who only shoots you a look telling you to just roll with it. you purse your lips in a thin line, itching to protest, but manage to not say anything as the nurse continues.
“…i’ll also have to talk to mr. bakugou later on as he is your registered guardian. i’ll just drop by again later in the suite so i can take your vitals as well. that’s basically it for now, thank you!”
and just as fast as she appeared, the nurse was gone.
when you’re sure she’s out of earshot, you turn to the man. “this is too much, katsuki.”
he merely shakes his head but again, doesn’t say anything.
you stare at him for a few more beats before finally sighing in what you feel is resignation.
this is going to be a long night.
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