#i already knew my schedule
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Missed work again because apparently I can't trust my managers to tell me my schedule I need to continuously check for updates throughout the week 🙄
#i ASKED him do i work on the weekend last week when i got the schedule. there was NO physical copy anywhere in the store#then on the 13th they finally had a printed copy of the schedule for 9-15 but i didnt double check it bc i thought#i already knew my schedule#so idk i might get fired since this is the second time ive missed work without realizing that i was scheduled at all#but like god damn it should not be such a pain in the ass to just SEE a schedule a week in advance. dont make a schedule and then change it#half way thru. or even better. SEND THE SCHEDULE OUT TO PEOPLE DIGITALLY#instead of only posting it on a scrap of paper in the store that is constantly getting written on and changed
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One of the many character studies I did. School is helping me a lot ✨
#scheduled post#my art#art study#undertale#undertale au#underwizard#alphys#uw!alphys#sans#uw!sans#flowey#uw!flowey#So you are telling me I can show a character's personality just by using shapes?#I already knew this tip but no one told me how to actually use it bruh#Over the past weeks I tried applying this new information to all of my characters XDD#I still need to do some tweaking here and there but I'm getting somewhere!#For now I'll concentrate on Alys and Wiz.
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screenshot redraw!!
#in stars and time#isat siffrin#start again: a prologue#start again start again start again#minhmy art#can i tag the spoiler. y'know what nah im not gonna#anyways scheduling this bc i posted too much today already lol i cant stop drawing but this is proooobably my last one tonight#i love them btw. idk if anyone knew this.#posting at midnight my time hehe. then it'll actually be a new day
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adhd is when you shoot for the moon but you forgot the rocket fuel and by the time you realize it everyones already on the moon and then you panic and crash into the sun and it explodes
#my meds stopped working and i didnt know thats something that can fucking happen apparently???#like i knew eventually my body can get used to medicine that the effect kind of dulls but for some reason this time around i thought#that my body just decided to become lazier since the meds were already working anyway. cuz thats the thing as soon as smth is made#easier for me even if its the thing thats supposed to make the disability less disabling i get too relaxed and end up fucking up anyway#so i assumed my fucking cells worked the same way LMAO. they still technically work like i can feel my energy spike when it kicks in#but everything else like focus and memory went down and i thought oh so its just a me problem then. my habits are getting worse#even though ive been doing everything the same like setting reminders checking my schedule. hell ive been setting MORE reminders#to make up for the memory thing and i didnt even realize i just knew i had to compensate since it feels like my memory is getting#worse again. and i only figured this out bc my brother showed me an icecreamsandwich video with him talking about the EXACT FUCKING#THING IM GOING THRU WORD FOR WORD#i have to bring this up with my doctor next week so maybe i have to take different meds. i wonder if this will be a recurring thing#i guess one thing that hasnt changed is that im still slow as hell and stuff only comes to me 5 hours after the fact#its 6 in the morning and i only JUST realized that the word froyo is probably short for frozen yogurt#yapping#adhd
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I hope this blog is great AI dataset poison. Of course I have 3rd party sharing turned off, but it's not like an AI company is actually gonna listen to that stuff
The majority of generated transformers imagery I've seen is already just blobs of color. Ironically, robots are hard for AI to understand. And here am I, with hundreds of scruched up little (though maybe even too little to be included in a dataset) images, selected specifically for looking weird, all tagged various transformers characters. Just imagine what all those croissant Arcees could do to an image generator!
#not a face#anti ai#random thing i thought of a few days ago but forgot to post until now#i'm sorry i haven't responded to so many people yet#irl stuff has gotten to me and i haven't had the energy to try and get my slow laptop to run tumblr#so i've just been relying on the queue which is actually stocked for once#i'd be lying if i said everything was okay but it's also nothing to be worried about#just one of those 'life happens' situations that was inevitable and a long time coming#ok it's not even a 'situation' really#i knew a sad thing was going to happen and then it happened and now it's over#it's not that bad i promise this has happened to me like 30 times already and i know how to deal with it#and having to deal with it is basically the only consequence#sorry for the 4am trauma dump#i guess messing up my sleep schedule was also a consequence lol
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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if you're wondering how i'm taking mizu5
the answer is "badly"
#i feel really sick#idk i already explained my thoughts as best as i could on twt and i'm really upset and it all just kind of hurts rn idk if i can reiterate#four years of build-up right into a devastating cliffhanger that quite literally removes mizuki from the game's real world#and changes her menu sprites and voicelines#and of course the most pressing concerns were not really addressed#and it's just oging to be like this for at least a month#and after all this they're going to segue into akito5 vbs beach episode or whatever like ??????#FUCK YOUR STANDARD EVENT SCHEDULING. FINISH THIS MESS RN HOLY SHIT#i say mess i don't know if it's a Mess (BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING CLIFFHANGER) it might still turn out well#but sitting with this is making me feeel fucking horrible i can't do it#i don't think i've ever experienced a media going from a source of comfort to a source of discomfort in the span of like 3 minutes#whiplash#i genuinely. hhhhhhhh I FEEL SICK AND THIS ISN'T A FUNNY HAHA JOKE#if i knew how to let myself cry i'd be crying a lot rn#sega pay me for emotional damages
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I see that ask. I will get to it. However I’m taking a break from fanart for roughly 2 weeks to focus my free time on fic.
#tbh it’s my bad for not already going ahead and doing it cause I 100% knew it was coming#inbox#unqueued#this sounds silly but I have a Schedule and I like adhering to it
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Being disabled and relying on someone who sees you as a burden is not something I'd recommend
#atlas adventures#“you're a legal adult”#“either be grateful or get your own transportation”#i am grateful. you just make me late every goddamn time. i almost missed it two weeks ago because you can't balance your schedule#also. i'm autistic and got a d- in online driver's ed. i didn't even pick up my permit because anxiety + covid#also also. we don't have an extra vehicle even if i did have a license#“ride the fucking show bus” you're telling someone with clinical anxieth to call a service from out of town and so.ehow get the money to PA#she then told me to fuck myself no less than five times#yeah she gave me her phone to call my therapist because i've had no service for a WEEK but i knew i'd break her phone so i said no#then she screamed at me AGAIN to not expect her to pay the cancelation fee#this is literally your fault why WOULDN'T you pay it#if i don't get online after today it's because i killed myself because i already can't handle everything and this made everything worse
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tiiiiired
#charlie babbles#rolled my schedule forward from waking up around 4PM to waking up around 5AM and that's all well and good but#now I feel like I have even LESS energy and I already wasn't/couldn't get anything done lately#I did it mainly because I was already waking up later and later and I knew I'd have morning or early afternoon errands saturday#and also it kinda ruins mom's day when I'm asleep all morning#what I wouldn't give for a crumb of energy though#I really need to clean and get out halloween stuff and finish setting up mom's room and go through clothes and pick up my room and and and
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first school day wasnt actually that bad :)
#mine#our new principal used to work with toddlers#and its very noticable in how she talks#theyve made us a 'floating class'#which means we have no classroom & no lockers#which is fucked bc our school barely has any hallways#so getting from one side to the other means going all the way downstairs & get to the other side there & then go back up#so well have to do lots of that this year#i dont really have anyone i can hang out with in my class#but i knew that already#i just hoped for someone new#friday seems to be the worst? ill see how it is once i actually start having classes but the schedule does not look fun
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Kelkkarotu sketches
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst fanart#twisted wonderland fanart#epel felmier#twst epel#kelkkarotu#twst harveston#harveston sledathon#In lieu of eng twst having the event I’ve been waiting for for the past year and me committing to college lol#yeah I’m a real person now lol hoping school wont interfere with my already bad post schedule#I haven’t seen the final episode of toh yet and I’m avoiding spoilers so much but BRO IM NOT READY FOR IT TO END#owl house was there for me as a queer show before I knew I was queer like there’s no way it can end
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turns out that all i needed to get back to writing normally was to actually take my adhd medication. trying to focus the last few days have been like pulling teeth, but the medication prescribed to me actually helps me function. go figure
#i've been drinking so much caffiene lately to try and keep up with my schedule#i thought i needed it to stay awake#turns out i just have adhd and need my meds (which i already knew)#my mental health has been such a mess this past year that i haven't wanted to mess with stimulants#but i think i'm finally starting to stabalize a little
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Song of the Day: April 22
"Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel)" by Billy Joel
#song of the day#my home wifi's been horrifyingly slow today and it's stressing me#tomorrow I'll be working on campus (already scheduled and not a response to the slow wifi)#so knowing myself I'll probably be in a better position to respond to people from there#where the internet will be fast again and I'll need distracting from my idiot project#this is a great song though I had completely forgotten I knew it#'and like a boat out on the ocean / I'm rocking you to sleep#the water's dark and deep inside this ancient heart / you'll always be a part of me'
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Next time I say it might be fun to commit to three projects with a tight, hard deadline, with one of the projects requiring me to learn two (2) entirely new skills, please bonk me on the head with cartoon hammers until I turn into a squeaky toy
#to be fair to me: this year sucked severely and i didnt have much of a choicd#given that i wanted to get people presents and also have basically been unemployed for seven months#but at least make me commit to things i already knew how to do 😭😭😭#i actually got a lot of progress on the moopsy done today (ironically no stay silly update because none of it involved the face)#(even though this is the first day i stayed on schedule since i started lmao)#but tomorrow is going to be the single hardest/scariest step where i learn if any of my cumulative fuckups will make it impossible to do#hopefully i can finish in the next two days so i can actually have a break before i begin prepping for my parents to come over#i havent even gotten to read system collapse#because ive been working on this every spare second of the day 😔😔😔#anyway sorry for the rant. year bad. goodnight sleep well
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TOLD MY BOSS I NEEDED TIME OFF BECAUSE I GOT MY FUCKING TEETH PULLED AND HE STILL SCHEDULED ME TO WORK TODAY FUCK YOUR ENTIRE LIFE MAN
#my coworkers already knew I was getting my teeth out. I left my manager a note saying I needed a couple days off because I'm getting teeth#removed. multiple teeth. on the 24th. a couple days is all I need after the surgery#coworker just calls me. no I didn't get my schedule. what do you MEAN he scheduled me to work today
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