#i already hate myself it's okay

[adhdandcomics]

perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:

does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies

[crossbackpoke-check]

blessed be (lorscher bienensegen) | telling the bees (wiþ ymbe)

"Bees" [remixed, abridged], Claudia Emerson // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed. abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "Letter to my Great, Great Grandchild" [remixed, abridged], J.P. Grasser | Len Redkole, Nina Weiss, Brian Babineau, Christian Peterson, Mitchell Leff, Dave Isaac, Megan DeRuchie

[catocappuccino]

It's been a year since I redrew that one Snorkmimi render...

So yeah I did it again ofc I would, why oh why wouldn't I? Tee hee silly meee

Attaching the 2023 redraw and og cause- uh- I donno, because yes, why not!!!

[dearmizumi]

I felt sad

[pissmamiii]

i actually despise men. y’all are the reason for my abandonment issues and why i believe im unloveable, get bent 🫦

[carlyraejepsans]

they should've made my brother the older of the two of us. i mean he's smarter, he's cooler, he's bigger, he looks better than me, he's more determined than me, more analytical, more disciplined. of course, that'd mean I'd shrink into the background of my life like a rather pitiful peanut but hey, at least I'd have an excuse for it this time around

[keykittygirl]

Rant...

P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ j̪̟̮̔ͩư̡͕̭̇s̠҉͍͊ͅt̲̂̓ͩ̑ s̠҉͍͊ͅt̲̂̓ͩ̑o̯̱̊͊͢p̞̈͑̚͞ p̞̈͑̚͞l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕!!!!!

W̯ͤ̾ͣ͝ỉ͔͖̜͌l̙͖̑̾ͣl̙͖̑̾ͣ I̍̅̀̎̊ ẹ̿͋̒̕v͒̄ͭ̏̇ẹ̿͋̒̕r̴̨̦͕̝ bẹ̿͋̒̕ ẹ̿͋̒̕ṇ̤͛̒̍o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ĝ̽̓̀͑ḣ̖̻͛̓ f̵͖̜̉ͅo̯̱̊͊͢r̴̨̦͕̝ y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇?!!!!!

Ỵ̛̖͋͢o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ s̠҉͍͊ͅā̤̓̍͘ỉ͔͖̜͌ḑ̴̞͛̒ y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ ā̤̓̍͘r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ p̞̈͑̚͞r̴̨̦͕̝o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ḑ̴̞͛̒ ā̤̓̍͘t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕! B̩͎͍̾ͅư̡͕̭̇t̲̂̓ͩ̑ I̍̅̀̎̊ ḑ̴̞͛̒ỉ͔͖̜͌ḑ̴̞͛̒ṇ̤͛̒̍'t̲̂̓ͩ̑ s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ẹ̿͋̒̕ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ā̤̓̍͘t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇r̴̨̦͕̝ f̵͖̜̉ͅā̤̓̍͘c͕͗ͤ̕̕ẹ̿͋̒̕!!!!!!

P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕...

I̍̅̀̎̊t̲̂̓ͩ̑'s̠҉͍͊ͅ s̠҉͍͊ͅc͕͗ͤ̕̕ḣ̖̻͛̓o̯̱̊͊͢o̯̱̊͊͢l̙͖̑̾ͣ br̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘ḳ̯͍̑ͦ p̞̈͑̚͞l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ c͕͗ͤ̕̕ư̡͕̭̇t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ s̠҉͍͊ͅo̯̱̊͊͢ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ s̠҉͍͊ͅl̙͖̑̾ͣā̤̓̍͘c͕͗ͤ̕̕ḳ̯͍̑ͦ... P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕...

I̍̅̀̎̊ ā̤̓̍͘l̙͖̑̾ͣr̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘ḑ̴̞͛̒y҉̃̀̋̑ ĝ̽̓̀͑o̯̱̊͊͢t̲̂̓ͩ̑ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ẹ̿͋̒̕ t̲̂̓ͩ̑o̯̱̊͊͢p̞̈͑̚͞ c͕͗ͤ̕̕l̙͖̑̾ͣā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅs̠҉͍͊ͅ ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍ḑ̴̞͛̒ o̯̱̊͊͢ṇ̤͛̒̍ẹ̿͋̒̕ ḣ̖̻͛̓ỉ͔͖̜͌ĝ̽̓̀͑ḣ̖̻͛̓ s̠҉͍͊ͅc͕͗ͤ̕̕o̯̱̊͊͢r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ḑ̴̞͛̒ā̤̓̍͘l̙͖̑̾ͣ...

P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕... I̍̅̀̎̊'ḿ̬̏ͤͅ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ỉ͔͖̜͌r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ḑ̴̞͛̒...

P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ I̍̅̀̎̊ c͕͗ͤ̕̕ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍'t̲̂̓ͩ̑ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ā̤̓̍͘ḳ̯͍̑ͦẹ̿͋̒̕ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ỉ͔͖̜͌s̠҉͍͊ͅ ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍y҉̃̀̋̑ḿ̬̏ͤͅo̯̱̊͊͢r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕...

P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕ j̪̟̮̔ͩư̡͕̭̇s̠҉͍͊ͅt̲̂̓ͩ̑ l̙͖̑̾ͣo̯̱̊͊͢v͒̄ͭ̏̇ẹ̿͋̒̕ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ ā̤̓̍͘ṇ̤͛̒̍ḑ̴̞͛̒ bẹ̿͋̒̕ p̞̈͑̚͞r̴̨̦͕̝o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ḑ̴̞͛̒ ā̤̓̍͘t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ẹ̿͋̒̕ w̦̺̐̐͟ā̤̓̍͘y҉̃̀̋̑ I̍̅̀̎̊ ā̤̓̍͘ḿ̬̏ͤͅ...

P̧͕̒̊͘l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕ā̤̓̍͘s̠҉͍͊ͅẹ̿͋̒̕...

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

im so infinitely stressed rn i need to get off here

[skitskatdacat63]

Mark Alan, Count of Queanbeyan

+ explanation & lore

Okay first I'll explain the drawing itself, and then go into Mark's lore a bit, so stay with me!!!

First of all, yep. Mark with long hair. When I first conceptualized how he'd look in this au, I just genuinely could not imagine him with the typical long curly wig. And that irked me, bcs its just sooooooo historically inaccurate for him to have had short hair, no wig. I sketched him and Jense out as chibis, I drew Mark with short hair, and literally wrote "haha wow he looks so bad with long hair!!" Hello, can I take back that statement? It's actually shocking how good he looks???? Maybe it's a testament to my skill that I could make this work. But I did! And man, shameful to admit, but this might be my best portrait ever 😭😭 Funny tho, guy I've barely drawn, and never as detailed as this, ends up being one of my favs. Mark, you bastard!!

^ lmao as you can see, I tried out a more Seb type wig and then realized ahhhhh nah, he needs a different style. And it worked so, yay!!! I've thought a lot recently, "man it would suck back then if you looked shitty in a wig" and I rescind that. I'm telling you, you think a man would look bad in a wig? I say think again, you're just not conceptualizing the right type of wig for him.

Also wow, its crazy thst I can finally actually visually see what he would look like next to others like Seb and Fernando in this au. Hehehe look at them!!! The boys!!!! Just need Jense :,)

Anyways, I digress, some lore notes about Mark since I don't think I've really talked about him in this au on main much.

He is, of course, Seb's closest servant. His Groom of the Bedchamber(yes that term makes me feel rabid.) He's actually also based on a real guy, whom was described as the Emperor's "favorite" and despite not technically having very important positions, he had a lot of influence because of his closeness and connection with the Emperor. So, yeah, I think that's gives a pretty good pic of Mark in this au :)

He's actually pretty satisfied with his role, but he does feel a bitter and jealous when interacting with others like Jenson and Fernando. Because Mark doesn't have a title, well not in the same way. He's a count, not a King, not a Prince. Yes he's nobility, but not in the same way. And he's satisfied being under Seb, because that's what Mark was raised to do, take care of and keep Seb in line. But often realizes he's never going to be on par with him, not in the same way Fernando can, even if he's Seb's closest confidant.

To build on that. He's very satisfied with his role, and even continues to be satisfied when Fernando comes into the picture. Fernando and Seb don't get along, Mark is always going to be the closest to Seb, always going to know him the best, take care of him the best. But he realizes, he would never get to marry Seb, he's not ranked high enough for that. He was raised to do what's best for the Emperor, he's never going to be able to compete with Seb the same way Fernando can. He really wants Seb and Fernando to succeed! To grow closer! But it still really hurts sometimes.

His closest friend, other than Seb, is Jenson of course(and eventually Fernando, after they stop growling at each other like they're Seb's dogs.) But he does get bitter about Jenson sometimes. Jenson is a prince, who had some great performances in battle. But eventually got tired of that lifestyle, and "retired" to being part of Seb's court. Mark can't really understand that. How do you throw that level of prestige and freedom away. How do you just become the Emperor's servant, when that was never what you were born for. But also, I think Jense definitely uplifts him, they just get along so well, and Jense truly cares for him, no other motives :)

LOL sorry I realize how depressing this sounds 😭 I think all of the above is just Mark at his most bitter, but he's genuinely pretty happy. Think of the whole "not bad for a number 2 driver thing", that's him in this AU. He knows his station, and god damn it, he's gonna be the best, most loyal groom there ever was!! He just cares for Seb so deeply, and it truly is his life path to serve him. Seb cares for him too, feels like he can always rely on him and always be reassured by him and his eternal presence in Seb's life. It's nice to have someone you can always fall back on. Sometimes literally. Yes he makes Mark carry him to bed.

Not to stray away from just Mark, but aaaaahhh the Martian in this AU. Just Mark having to put up with Seb's brattiness all the time, and care for him all the time :) He's so tired of catching Seb naked tho...Seb please put clothes on, this is not befitting of your station. Seb takes Mark with him everywhere, and they share the same bed on trips. Mark is always the first Seb goes to to ask his opinion. I said earlier that Mark feels like he cannot challenge Seb in the same way Fernando can, but Seb really wants him to honestly! He loves hearing Mark's thoughts and opinions. Mark is widely known as Seb's favorite, and is often seen as the second authority in the palace and in the court.

As for Webbonso? I think they really dislike each other in the beginning just because the roles that they're in. They both feel like they're pitted against each other, and ir doesn't help that Seb loves to tease them and often favor one in front of the other(he later realizes how shitty this is, and tries to rectify it, because he never intended to make them actually jealous, he just loves being bratty.) Eventually they realize they're in extremely similar situations(both beholden to and stuck eternally with the Emperor), and find comfort in each other in that.

Yep that's right...the palace is honestly one big polycule djkfkglg. But I hope thay explains Mark in this AU well enougg???? All you need to know: Seb's long-suffering servant.

[soundwave-radioandbroadcast]

So uh...

may be over head just a smidge....

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[red-dyed-sarumane]

i need people to start paying me for every time they tell me "oh but ur arts so good ur wasting ur talent u need to do it professionally" wrong i need to do art to draw beautiful characters that not a single other person cares about while feeding every ounce of love i have into my work or to convey thoughts & feelings beyond words and to even think of doing otherwise is to deny my own nature "oh but u can do what u want and then sell it" why is everything about money to you why cant u just enjoy things at what point in ur life did u forget how to have fun

[fanvoidkeith]

Grief Timeline (non-canon) sketches (for RBTU/Reality Bends To Us)

faera (right, above): "if you've ever loved me, you'll let me do this. i just… need to be with my son. they need me."

phaze (left, above): "…i'm sorry, i can't let you do that. it's not because i don't love you, it's because i'm too selfish to let you die."

these also. vulnerability. untrust. wishing you could change your beloved's mind when they've got their heart set on a path of self-destruction. holding onto them as they keep wading into deeper water. you are orpheus, you have looked back, and your eurydice is gone now, never to return.

---

[song inspiration: all i need - radiohead, est-ce que tu m'aimes? - maitre gims, die with a smile - bruno mars & lady gaga]

[sketchy-tour]

Genuinely, I wonder if my fear of being seen as annoying by commissioning oc x canon is silly or not.

I always get so actually worried that the person I'm commissioning will think I'm weird or if it's an artist who's in the fandom with me I get all worried they probably already draw a lot of oc x canon of the character i like and maybe they're tired of it

How many times can one artist draw Wally Darling kissing a bunch of different ocs before they hate it? Dksjfjkskdjd

[cowardlycowboys]

“Slut your wrists! Kill yourself! then you post a selfie saying “Don’t want to smile feel weird about it” as a desperate attempt to get compliments. You’re in your mid twenties doing all this😭 Grow up you’re not a teenager anymore. 30 is closer than ever and you’re breaking down because someone asked if you cry a lot? Someone mentions your jowls and you freak out. You tell them to kill themselves. People your age are Mothers. You might not have any but act your age. Geez.

my dick must taste fantastic for how far you're throating it

[storiesoflilies]

wahh i feel so disconnected from everybody on here n i really hate it :(