#i already felt sick why did I do this to myself
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oleander-the-skulldog · 8 months ago
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the poutine is kicking in
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writersrkive · 19 days ago
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Warmth | Aaron Hotchner
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summary: Your period arrived, and you are feeling like shit, but that doesn't mean you won't go to work. Your body is pleading to rest, but you are stubborn, so you act like you are fine. However, Hotch is there to take care of you.
genre: comfort pairing: Aaron Hotchner x bau!fem!reader warnings: cramps and physical discomfort caused by menstruation, fainting.
a/n: maybe is not a good one, but I'm on my period, so let me be delulu. English is not my first language, please be kind <3.
Masterlist Spanish ver. On Wattpad (coming soon)
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When your lower back started to hurt, days prior, you knew what day of the month was getting closer. You prepare yourself, however that morning your body felt heavy, almost numb.
Walking out of bed, going to the bathroom, showering and dressing up were difficult tasks. The morning didn't go any better. You had problems with your car, the traffic was hell, and when you arrived at Quantico, fifteen minutes late, your ID wasn't in your wallet. You had to walk back to your car and go up to the floor where you worked five minutes later.
“Did you have cardio yesterday? Is that the reason why you are so late?” Derek asked, teasing, but you were not in the mood to joke with your best friend.
"Maybe I just took too long to hide the body of the rat that was bothering me last night, do you want me to show you what I did with it?" I asked, finally sitting on the chair to rest my lower back. My belly was hurting a lot.
“Uh.” Emily said and chuckled when she saw Derek's surprised expression.
“Maybe not the time.” The dark skinned whisper.
“Definitely not.” I answered. “Did Hotch…” I started, turning to JJ.
“Don't worry. He has been inside his office since we arrived. I don't think he noticed."
A few minutes later, I was leaning towards the files I had on my desk, not because I couldn't see, but because I needed to feel something warm towards my belly. My hands weren't enough, but it was all I had.
“Take this.” Spencer said, handing me some pain killers.
“Thanks, but last time I tried, they didn't work."
“Try again.” Emily said softly, understanding what was happening. “If you don't feel good, tell us.”
“Thanks, but seriously, I'm fine.”
That wasn't true though. Thank God we had just file day, because I wouldn't be able to fly in that condition. But at least I would have the opportunity to sleep a little thereby.
I needed something warm. So I stood up and walked to the mini cafeteria, where there was a coffee machine, with tea bags on the side and snacks. My tea was already prepared, I only wanted to grab a chocolate bar, but the cramps hit me, making the cup of tea almost fall from my hands.
“Hey, hey. Easy there.” That calm and velvety voice made me realise the man who I liked was now next to me, helping me by taking the cup and steadying myself with his other hand.
“Sorry, boss.” I whispered.
“What happened? Are you sick?”
“Kinda… I'm just not feeling good. You know, that day of the month.” I answered, still trying to breathe, feeling a tear of cold sweat slide down my back.
“It's okay. You need to rest. Go home.” He said with a firm, yet soft tone of voice. The team was always saying he only used that tone with me.
“I'm fine, seriously.”
I could see in his eyes that he was not convinced. “Okay, but let me know if you need something. Don't think I didn't notice that you arrived late.”
“I'm really sorry. That won't happen again.” My cheeks were probably burning, and I didn't know if it was because of my period, or the embarrassment.
“What I'm trying to say is that I know that you are not feeling good, and I will understand if you need to go back home.” He reassured me, lightly caressing the arm that still held me.
“Thanks.” I whisper.
“Here. Take this.” He handed me a warm compress that he took out of the microwave after heating it for a few minutes.
The tea and compress helped a lot, however, the painkiller didn't work. I felt like I was about to faint. The noises of our workmates, the weather, and even poor JJ's breathing was stressing me out. A break was what I needed, but I wouldn't be able to take one, so instead, I went to the bathroom. I didn't know Hotch was observing me from his seat, through the office window.
In the bathroom things weren't better. My forehead was covered in sweat, my throat felt dry and my legs and arm were about to give up. All of that was reflected on the mirror in front of me.
Someone knocked.
I opened the door and then my vision turned black. Next I remember strong arms embracing me on the floor. “That's it. I'm taking you home.” He said.
“I'm…” I tried to talk.
“No, you are not fine. Sometimes you need to hear your body and rest.” He explained gently, moving my hair out of my face. “You are going to drink water. I'm going to get your stuff and I'll take you home.” It was obvious there was no room for discussion.
“Got it, boss.” I whispered, letting myself smile on his chest. It wasn't a surprise how excited I was because he was taking care of me, even if I was feeling like shit. He was the warmth I needed.
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warmilikeit · 3 months ago
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Yandere Batfam x Camp half-blood (Neglected reader)
DC x Pjo
Part 4
______________________
"why are they... Bedazzled?" Charles asks, looking at the mass of weapons ranging in designs
Some weapons look like they came straight off Genshin impact, while some look like (Name) just copied off weapon designs from deviant art
One weapon, a claymore, had intricate details on the blade, showing a story, a war, some caves and oceans, and a kingdom
"I got bored so I decided to carve the odyssey on the blade" you smile
They left you alone, in the forgery, for like 12 hours or something, came back to call you for dinner, and they see this
"I have ones, I made for myself, the others we can put in the armory-"
"Ehem, (Name)? May I have a moment with you?" Chiron, is this awesome centaur
When he first saw you he took you to the big house and healed your injuries
"Yes..?" You ask, did you do something wrong? Are unclaimed kids not allowed to stay in the territory of claimed kids? Technically this was a child of Hephaestus thing- but you were brought here? And-
"someone wants to speak with you" Chiron continues and you were snapped out your thoughts
"She is a daughter of Zeus, and I believe you know her already the last time I saw her was when she was a child, still staying on her home island, she is a trust worthy woman" he explained further
This doesn't calm your nerves, cause why, why does a child of Zeus want to see you?
Suddenly a familiar woman walks closer to you "Hey (Name), I was worried sick you know, you could have left a note"
"Diana!" You yell and run up to hug her
You love Diana, back when you were still a robin, and Batman bought you and Damian to meet the justice league
You were left alone in the corner while superman and Batman talked about Jon's and Damian's potential
The other members approached you, one of the reasons you loved being a vigilante was because of them, you had someone to talk to
Flash was like the funny uncle and green arrow was the uncle who tried to one up batman, they were all awesome, but you're favorite was Diana
She had this glow, not glow like green lantern- but this sense that you really mattered to her
____________________
"you're also a demigod?!" You exclaim in surprise, she nods while smiling
She holds your hand "I was thinking you were one too actually, but I didn't have enough proof, Bruce always said you were a target for mutants that's why you had to stop being a vigilante, but it's clear that those were actually monsters"
But then she went quiet "Why don't you come back (Name)? I'll explain everything to Bruce and I'm sure more precautions for your safety would be taken care of"
No it won't.
"D-diana... I don't want to return" you said meekly
"what... Why?"
"I- I'm not welcome back home... See Bruce and his kids- they don't think I'm special enough to stay in their family" you say
"... excuse me?" Diana's demeanor changed, like a cold air blowing over her
You shift and hesitate, but you decide to pull through, it was like a dam burst
Your tears blur your vision, as you go over every general and specific event that you felt unloved and unwanted
You weren't stupid, just because you never received love doesn't mean you don't know what it is, you could tell if someone didn't want you, because you've seen how they love
You've seen how Bruce got protective of his kids, how he cares about them in his own way, how the batsibs have their own dynamics, they claim to dislike each other yet are always by their side when needed
It was just never towards you.
You know what love what, and your relationship with those people, that wasn't love
It was indifference, you remember the first time Barbara talked to you is when you fought with Tim and she yelled at you backing her brother up
It wasn't too late, you could still receive what you've been craving for, but for sure you don't want it from the Wayne's
A few weeks after Damian appeared, his bullying towards you that has gotten worse by the day, you decided to retaliate
_______________________
(Name) Wayne 11 years old
Slap
Ouch, you thought
Jason Todd, the man who claimed Damian was a demon spawn, the man who picked on Damian jokingly
He slapped you for Damian
It was one of those rainy days in Gotham, you're in school, you were having a quiet day till the teacher called out your name
"(Name)! Two days to do the assignment and you passed nothing?! Don't make excuses child, your brother Damian was able to pass it"
You look up confused "But miss I did pass my work"
"where is it!?? Am I a special case of blind that I can see everyone's work but yours?!"
The laughs and Snickers of your classmates echo in the room
Damian had taken your work, and passed it as his
That fucker-
After school back in the mansion you lunge at him
"you spoiled asshole!" Unfortunately Jason was there, and the person who was usually a Damian hater became his apologist cause he went straight to help him
You explained what happened, of course you did, but even after knowing he stood his ground, he even told father and now you're punished
Isolation (as if you weren't isolated enough)
You could live like this, live every day without seeing them
Then it happened, Stephanie was in danger, well both of you were
It was one of Bruce's galas, the Wayne family was staying in a private room, and Harley Quinn broke in, laughing like a maniac, she grabbed the ones near her and which were you and Steph
On hostage both of you, Dick made a move to save Steph, he ran in her direction to try and pry Steph off Quinn's arms
Damian shot the Harley's leg, the one near Steph of course so she had a better chance of getting away
Once Steph was free, Cass hugged her
And then Tim, oh fucking tim
He used his electric staff to electrocute Harley, while she was still holding you
For a great detective he's quite an idiot.
That was it, he didn't even get in trouble with Bruce for that, they tied up Harley quietly and decided to proceed with the gala
Without you of course, come on, you're injured, why would you go with them?
It was like a switch flipped, after that not once have you ever tried to make them love you.
_________________________
"you can't make me go back there- Diana please!" You sob
She hugged you tight "I won't, I won't- I'll find a way to keep Bruce from finding you, I promise"
She kissed your forehead "For now... I want you to keep trying, make friends, if your parent claims you, you'll have new siblings"
"for now, be happy"
__________________________
Ivan Werner sat beside you, he was one of Hephaestus's kids that you made friends with earlier
Diana left a while ago and you were left trying to stop yourself from crying
"the conversation was that intense?" He hands you a handkerchief
You smile and accept "Yeah... It was- about my mortal family, they weren't really the best people"
"I hear that, my mother was a mad inventor who sold inventions that would self destruct to cause harm for the buyers" he says
Your brows furrowed at the implication Ivan's mom might be a villain
"hey- everyone has their past, that's why they end up here, I hope you find your place here in camp (Name), we really like you here"
KEOEOWHFVSBJAIEBD BE AKHRJEO WOSLAKDNDNNSKW
A flash of light appears before the both of you
You take your time trying to adjust your eyes, and you see the campers, Mr.D and Chiron there
"Out of everyone here!?!? You decide to- fraternize with a child of Hephaestus!?! I WONT ALLOW IT, you're too beautiful for him my darling!"
What the fuck?? Who is this extremely rude and gorgeous floating lady?
You haven't even registered the fact that now you're wearing a chitton, your hair has been decorated with pearls and small intricate gold flowers
A pink aura making you glow
"what's going on!?!?" You ask panicked
The beautiful gorgeous, ethereal, pretty, cute, hot, sexy, dashing, charming lady goes to the ground
"Hi dearest!" She smiles
You hear Chiron clear his throat "(Name) Wayne! Child of Aphrodite!"
_______________________
I had the godly parent chosen from the start acc, I wrote this fic with her in mind
A child of love without receiving any
Hope you like the chapter! :3
@nathaly36 @erikasurfer @jisnothere @bat1212 @sweetconnoisseurgardener @vanessa-boo
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wandascosmic · 3 months ago
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enough for you
wanda maximoff x fem!reader, natasha romanoff x fem!reader
summary: in which your girlfriend natasha makes you feel like you're never enough. (based off enough for you by olivia rodrigo)
word count: 2069
tags: angst, toxic relationship, insecurity, arguments, cheating, reader feels unloved (and unworthy of love), poor reader can never catch a break, cryptic mention of reader's mother being dead, self- hatred, reader's so sad, nat sucks (like a lot), but wanda comes through at the end like she always does and they have a little meet-cute :), i wrote this in one sitting while listening to enough for you on a loop
part two: so american
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You sigh as you try to do your makeup in your mirror as flawlessly as possible. Every blemish or mark on your face needed to be covered up so you could look perfect for Nat. You were desperate to measure up to the gorgeous women Nat has dated before you and for that, you needed to look absolutely pristine.
In the past year, you’ve done so many new things you weren’t fond of just for Nat to like you. From nearly destroying every single muscle in your body at the gym just to measure up to her rigorous exercise routine, all the way to learning how to cook and bake every single one of her favorite foods until it was all you two ever ate despite your dislike for the majority of her preferred meals, you’ve tried so hard to be everything that Nat liked so she wouldn’t get sick of you. 
You frown slightly, Nat has never once acknowledged your kind gestures and actions, nor reciprocated them. 
“I’m just not the compliment type, Y/N, just drop it,” she had told you one time when you had confronted her on why she never acknowledged your efforts. 
You bit the inside of your cheek and nodded wordlessly. 
***
“I made you your coffee,” you told Nat as she entered the kitchen in the morning. 2 creams, no sugar, just how you like it. 
Nat nodded and took the mug from you, sitting down at the table and barely paying any attention to your gesture. 
Clearing your throat, you tell her, “I also got up early this morning to buy tickets for us to go to that band I know you’ve been wanting to go to for a while.” You cross your fingers behind your back, hoping for her to tell you you’re good enough for her just this once. 
“Sorry, babe, Carol already got them for me,” she responds, your heart falling to your stomach. Putting her empty mug in the sink, she plants a kiss on your lips. “Besides, you don’t even know the lyrics to their songs.” She leaves you on your own in the kitchen. 
I know all of them by heart because of you. 
***
“Hey, Y/N?” Nat asks you one night on the couch. 
“Yeah?” you respond, turning to face your girlfriend. 
“I don’t really feel like myself these days.” Nat pauses. “Do you know what might help?” Despite the content of her question, you still smile, because this was your chance. This was your chance to show her that you might truly be worth loving. 
“First, I’m always here if you need to talk,” you say softly, but Nat makes no sound of acknowledgment next to you. “And second, make your own decisions you believe will be beneficial to you, just for yourself, and do the things that bring you fulfillment,” you explain. 
Nat finally turns and looks at you thoughtfully. “How did you figure that one out?” 
“I read your self-help books,” you reply sheepishly. I read all of them. 
“Wow, you’re pretty smart,” Nat replies, going back to the movie the two of you were watching together. 
And you smile for the rest of the night because that’s the first compliment Nat has given you since you first started dating a year ago. 
***
You and Nat had a fight. It isn’t the first time, but it’s the first time it’s hurt you this much as you truly take in your current reality. 
You’re crying in your shared room, Nat leaving you to go out for drinks you assume. 
Earlier tonight, you made the stupid mistake of asking why she was never there for you, it was during the heat of the moment, but your outrage felt justified due to the fact that she missed your award ceremony for your article in medical research (the third time this year she’s missed one of them but you did your best to forgive her before this), and she had simply scoffed at you telling you that it wasn’t even a big deal anyways. 
But this one was a big deal to you. 
It was research that could have saved your mother. 
“I nearly get killed every time I go out on the job, Y/N! Some stupid neuroscience article is nothing compared to that!” she yelled at you, exhausted from her day at work. 
Your eyes flooded with hurt as Nat’s filled with regret. 
“Wait, I’m sorry,” she said remorsefully. 
The first sign of remorse she’s ever shown you. 
“It’s fine, Nat,” you reply, trying to keep your tears at bay. You weren’t even in neuro, but that didn’t matter. Not to her. “Just go out, like you wanted.” You wave her off to go upstairs to your room. 
“Y/N, wait-” 
You didn’t listen, shutting the door before collapsing to your knees as you started to sob. 
Stupid, emotional, and obsessive. That was what you were. 
***
Nat has been home late for the past few nights, your worry increasing with each passing day. It’s probably something to do with work, but something feels off. 
“Where were you?” you ask Nat as she enters the front door. “I was worried sick.”
“I’m fine, Y/N. I just got held up at work,” Nat doesn’t make eye contact with you. 
“Oh, okay,” you say softly, feeling oddly small compared to your girlfriend. ��Couldn’t you have called?” 
“For god’s sake, Y/N, my phone was dead. God, you’re so clingy,” Nat bites back, walking past you to go straight up to your room and slamming the door. 
You sigh, heading for the guest room since you know Nat won’t let you sleep next to her tonight. 
Suddenly, you hear Nat’s phone go off. And you realize that she had left it by the front door. 
Picking it up, you notice, that it’s at nearly full charge. 
Your brows furrow as you see the message your girlfriend received. 
Carol: Had a great time tonight, Nat. 
You don’t stop crying until the sun rises, one phrase ringing through your head the whole night. 
What are you doing wrong? 
***
“Am I not as interesting as the girls she’s dated before me?” you cry to Yelena as she rubs your back in comfort. 
“My sister is an idiot,” Yelena mutters, seeing how your relationship with Nat is tearing you apart. 
“What?” you choke out through your tears. 
“I think you love her more than anyone she’s ever had, and she couldn’t care less.” 
“She’s breaking my heart, Lena,” you sniffle. “But more than that, she’s breaking me.” 
You cry harder into your best friend’s arms.
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” you sob into her shoulder.  
***
“Where were you?” you ask Nat as she comes home past midnight once again. 
“I was at the compound, we had a villain that got out so we had to take care of him.” 
You nod, but Tony already sent you the camera footage for tonight after you told him about your issues with your girlfriend and you know she was with Carol. 
“Are you sure?” you inquired. 
“Yes, Y/N,” Nat says exasperated. “For god’s sake, why are you never satisfied with whatever I do?” she says walking past you. 
“I don’t think that’s true,” you tell Nat from behind her. 
“What?” she says, turning around to face you. 
“You’re never satisfied with me,” you state. “The only thing I’ve ever wanted is to be good enough for you, but nothing I ever do for you seems to make you happy.” 
Nat scoffs. “That’s ridiculous.” 
“I know you were with Carol tonight,” you reveal. 
“No, I wasn’t,” she denies. 
“Tony sent me the footage, I know there was no villain. I know you’re cheating on me, and I know that you never cared about me,” you state. 
“Fine, whatever, I’m going to bed,” Nat says, completely disregarding you and everything she’s done to destroy the person you once were. 
“We’re done, Nat,” you tell her as she walks up the stairs to your once-shared room. 
Nat waves you off like you’ve never meant anything to her. 
And maybe you never did. 
***
“I loved her so much, I still do, and all she did was use me, then throw me away like I meant nothing to her,” you tell Yelena at the drink bar. Nat was away on a mission, so Yelena thought it might be fun for you to join her at one of the Avengers parties. 
“Don’t worry Y/N,” Yelena tells you. “I could tell her to apologize to you, but clearly she’s got some issues to figure out within herself before she can resolve any outside.” 
You nod wordlessly. 
What Yelena says then surprises you, “But honestly? She should be the one feeling sorry for herself.” You look at her curiously. “Someday, there will be someone out there who will love you as deeply as you love them.” 
“I don’t know, Lena,” you say softly. “Nat was everything to me.” 
“Someday, Y/N, you’ll be everything to somebody else.” 
***
1 year later
You’re running late for work, rushing out the door of the coffee shop, and you don’t notice the fact that you’ve bumped into someone until your coffee spills all over the floor, making you gasp. 
“Oh, my god, I’m so sorry,” you tell the figure in front of you, and suddenly you freeze, at the sight of her glimmering emerald green eyes. Like Nat’s, but eternally softer. Eternally more curious. 
“Oh, no worries,” she says with a smile, pulling a few napkins out of her purse. 
“I didn’t spill any on you, did I?” you ask the woman, your mind a mess due to your embarrassment at spilling your coffee, but still quite fuzzy at the sight of her undeniable beauty. 
If you weren’t so much of a useless homosexual, you would bend down and help her clean the coffee she’s currently wiping away. Much like how she’s wiping away your ability to form any sort of cohesive thought. 
“No, I’m ok,” she laughs, standing up once more once all the coffee’s gone. “C’mon, let me buy you a new one.” 
Your eyes widen. “Oh, no, it’s not a big deal. Besides, it’s completely my fault for bumping into you-” 
“I want to,” she cuts off with a soft smile. 
“Oh,” you say softly. “Okay,” you finally resign to the comforting look she gives you.  
“Let me just make a quick phone call,” you let her know, hoping she doesn’t leave. 
“Take your time,” she assures. 
You smile gratefully. 
Your phone call was to call in sick to work for the second time in your life –you didn’t have a busy day today and you were running late anyways– and it was all to spend time with a pretty girl.  
On any other day you’d probably laugh at how pathetic you were, but this woman made you feel an odd sense of uncertainty within your life. 
Like nothing had ever made sense before her. 
Once you hang up the phone, you turn to see the woman already standing there, a white to-go coffee cup with a bit of steam escaping the spout. 
“Here’s your coffee,” the woman hands you the cup with a big smile as you pocket your phone. You inspect the label, your mouth parting slightly in shock once you see all of your preferred customizations. Done perfectly. 
“How do you know my coffee order?” you ask. 
“I took the label off the old one,” she says, showing you the sticker in the palm of her hand. “Want to sit?” She points to the array of round tables within the cafe.  
“I don’t even know you,” you say slowly. I called in sick to work for you, it’s a little too late for that. 
The brunette woman laughs before holding out her hand for you to shake. “Hi, I’m Wanda,” she says. 
“Y/N,” you respond, shaking her outstretched hand as your face flushes slightly at its softness. 
“See? Now we know each other,” Wanda says cheekily. 
You nod with a shy smile, following her to the table in the back as the two of you settle down into a small conversation. 
Somehow, the two of you spend the rest of the day talking and laughing, and you think it might be the best day of your life. 
Little do you know, Wanda thinks so too.
part two: so american
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mysunshinetemptress · 5 months ago
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Anxiety (lil McCabe universe)
Leah Williamson x McCabe!reader!ex
Magdalena Eriksson x Pernille Harder x McCabe!reader!platonic
Warnings: Talks of anxiety, not edited or proofread
You’re anxious, a feeling that has followed you around way longer than you would like to admit, a feeling that has consumed you way longer than your family, your Mam, knows about, longer than anyone knows about.
You had tried to tell her about the funny feeling you had as a kid, your little heart racing, your mind spinning, spiraling into the never-ending feeling of fear, but there was always something else, someone else. It wasn’t your Mam’s fault, nor was it your siblings’. They had things they needed her for, their own problems. Your Mam had her own problems. Surely this feeling, this sickening feeling, wasn’t as important as your siblings’ feelings, their needs and wants. They were older, so much older, they had more serious problems, more important problems and feelings than this feeling you were dealing with, right?
You didn't know why you so sick, it was so much more than butterflies, defenitly not excitement, it wasn't until you had been all grown up and earning enough money to visit a doctor did you get a diagnosis.
"Miss McCabe, you suffer from anxiety"
You had felt a weight being liftied off you the moment your feelings had been givien a name, that you weren't just looking for attention, you weren't just making it up, made you feel so much lighter then you had ever felt.
"You said you have been suffereing with these feelings since you were a child, did you ever try to tell anyone."
You nod, you had tried, when you couldn't go to your mam, you had tried one of your older siblings, you had tried to tell Katie, but she was to busy to deal with you "Y/n, can't you see i'm playing with Lauryn, your supposed to be a big girl now not a baby stop makeing things up for attention." you dropped your head as Katie muttered "Seriously she really needs to grow up."
"I tried." the docotor nodes her head her eyes scanning your solum face "How come you decided to look for answers now? For help now?"
You pick at your fingers "My girlfriend...She-she said she was worried about me...that-that sometimes I have trouble sleeping" you take a breath picking at your fingers looking towards the door, "I have trouble concentrating, she...I don't...she just said i should come here, that i should get a check up make sure im ok." The doctor smiled at you softly "If your girlfriend hadn't pushed you to come see me, would you have come eventualy."
Would you? "No" she looks surprised at your answer "No? why?" You look at the door again picking at the skin around your nails "I-I-I have to get on with it, I have to learn to get on with it-I have to grow up." The doctor looks even more surpriesed, sad, unhappy with your answer. Why is she unhappy with your answer?
“This isn’t something you can grow out of Miss McCabe, anxiety isn’t something you should just push on with, it can cause serious mental health problems for you if you do.” You shake your head no “I-I don’t have time-I have to get on with it-it’s the only way.” The doctor lets out a sigh “You said you come from a big family, surely one of them doesn’t mind talking to you about these things.” You shake your head again “They don’t need this, they-they don’t need anymore then they already have.” The doctor wants to press on you can see that but her attention is pulled to your bloody hands, you’ve picked at them till they bled. She looks to the door “Your girlfriend then.” Again you shake your head.
Leah doesn’t deserve the stress of something being wrong with you, she doesn’t deserve the possible sacrifices she’ll have to make in order to make you feel comfortable and happy. Not her,not Leah, not when she is the only person who looks at you and not through you, the only person whose hand fits and hold yours instead of passing through.
“I can look after myself, I-I have done it for long enough.”
You can look after yourself, you have done it for long enough, it’s the mantra you repeat in your head again and again as you arrive at the training grounds for Bayern, it’s the mantra you repeat every time your anxiety strikes and you feel yourself pick at your hands.
Bayern Munich, fresh start, no Katie, no Arsenal, no stupid bets, no Leah. Y/n, just Y/n.
“Hi.” Bayern Munich and Magdalena Eriksson, Bayern Munich and Pernille Harder.
You look behind you trying to see if it’s anyone else they are talking to, but there’s no one, there’s only you.
You.
You think for a second and the voices scream in your head, they are just like the others, this is a joke another bet, who can get closest to the new girl first. Who can pretend to be her friend the best.
Your hands, your poor hands sting as you begin to pick at them again, they are the same as the others, they have to be, all you are is worth a bet, 100 quid.
But still, there is no one behind you, no one new in the car park and the older women continue to smile at you softly.
Magda looks at your hands her smile faltering, she drags her eyes up your body, now noticing your heaving chest, your panicking, your shivering slightly yet you speak, you force yourself to talk to them even though it’s scaring the living shit out of you
“Hi”
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pboogerswbb · 5 days ago
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SO IT GOES - chapter 1
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Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: language, drinking Wordcount: 5.4K A/C: another pregame treat!! need my girls to deliver tonight!! anyways, here is chapter one, this one is about to start a little slower and i'm sorry about that but i promise it'll pick up and get more interesting, i got big plans for this one y'all!! anyway please leave feedback/thoughts/reviews whatever for me, i love them :)
-
Before London
The Dallas roads are busy, stretching out for miles out into the horizon as I stare out the window. My lungs craved fresh air, itching to open it. But I knew the air outside would bring no such relief, the humidity of this time of year already bringing me one step closer to packing my bags and making my way back to Connecticut. Everyone told me to turn the AC on, but I was much too stubborn and stuck in my ways. My dad would have come over himself and turn it off if he knew I was considering turning it on in April - much too early for his liking.
I had been here for a week now, seven long days. Each one making me more homesick. I missed my girls. I missed my team. I missed the normal weather and the East Coast. It was so bad I was on the phone with my dad every night, complaining. I knew as much as he loved me, he was getting sick of it.
“Paige, let’s figure this out,” Britt’s voice comes through the speaker phone, five garment bags sent by her laid out on the bed, ready to be opened.
“What do you even wear to this sorta thing?” I ask, speaking into the phone. My hands are opening one bag after another.
“Baby I dunno, you just gotta pick something. What kinda vibe do you wanna give off?” Brittany asks sweetly as I place my phone on the bed in front of me, pulling my shirt off over my head.
“I can’t think, it’s too hot,” I complain, rubbing my face. “I hate it here, wanna come back.”
“Paige, you gotta push through this. Try and look at it differently, at least you like your teammates!” 
I whine and lie down, my back hitting the soft cotton of the sheets. “Do you think they’d let me take my sixth year?”
“Oh my gosh girl you gotta pull yourself together,” Brittany laughs, which in turn makes me laugh too. I knew I was being dramatic, my team was great, the coaching staff seemed amazing. But it was my first time living alone, I didn’t know what to do with myself and all this energy I had. I felt like I was two days away from jumping off the walls.
Lou and Arike had both taken me under their wing, and the few joint practices we’d had with the team the past week seemed promising. Not good, but like there might be potential for something with hard work. I was well taken care of and grateful for it, but the thing is at Uconn I was spoiled. I got to live with my best friends. To spend every moment with them, get on their nerves and not worry because in the end they were my sisters.
“Where are you going?” Britt asks.
“Some sorta steakhouse,” I answer, rubbing my eyes.
“Boujee or like… Texas?”
I snort, grabbing the phone from beside me.
“It’s a nice place I heard. But Rike been here for so long she mighta forgot what nice is,” I joke sitting back up.
“Then go with the blue bag.”
Unzipping it, I find a pair of black shorts, and an oversized dark green crewneck sweatshirt. 
“Ion know about this Britt it’s a lil… boring,” I mumble looking over the outfit. When did I last wear dark green anyway.
“That’s why you dress it up girl! Wear a collared shirt under it, put on some chains, some nice shoes, trust it’ll fit the vibe, you don’t wanna be doing too much. Have I ever let you down?”
I sigh. I could see the vision the moment she started talking. “No you have not,” I reply. “I gotta start getting ready. Thanks again.”
“Anytime Paige,” she answers and we hang up. I know silence can’t echo, but it’s so overwhelming it almost feels like that’s exactly what it’s doing. Storrs was always loud, lively. Now I had it so bad I was even missing KK’s neverending rambling. 
Quickly putting on a playlist to get rid of the aching pressure on my chest, I begin to get ready, rapping along to a Drake song loudly - but who cares I live alone now. I sleek back my hair, pinning it into a bun - the one hairstyle I knew how to do. I put on some diamond studs, and take my time picking accessories, choosing just the right silver rings to match the chain on my neck, a cross hanging from it. Of course, Brittany had been right. The outfit was great, not too much for a nice restaurant but still totally me.
“Shit,” I mumble to myself when I check the time, realising Lou must be waiting on me downstairs. Grabbing a white cross-body bag I run out the door, quickly making my way down where, just like I thought, the brunette was waiting, tapping on the steering wheel impatiently.
“Sorry I’m late,” I yelp climbing into the passenger seat. Since I barely knew Dallas, Lou had decided it was best if she drove both of us.
Shaking her head, the girl driving merges onto the road swiftly. “Not gonna be making a good impression if we bring our rookie to the party late,” Lou complains.
I scoff, leaning back against the seat and tapping on the back of my phone, feeling butterflies grow in my abdomen. I knew I made good first impressions, that people seemed to like me. I wasn’t called the ultimate rizzler for nothing. But it was still daunting, I was about to meet all the people who worked behind the team, behind me just so we could do what we do. 
The past week had been so strange.The change in dynamic was drastic. I had become so used to being the older one, the one to call the shots, to have so much wisdom to give. Almost naively so. All of a sudden I was back to being the baby - the one who didn’t know anything, who had to depend on others. I thought I was prepared. But the transition was hard to navigate. I didn’t quite know how to act, if I was honest.
“Yo chill, I’m not even that late,” I chuckle lightheartedly, looking out the car window, my eyes trying to find something worth changing my mind about Dallas for.
“Ten minutes is too much, we gotta pick up Rike too,” Lou complains, hands on the wheel. It was only April but the humidity made it feel like summer. “Were you late talking to that girl?”
“What girl?” I ask.
“That girl from last night!” Lou laughs, elbowing me.
I shrug, like I had no clue what she was talking about. A complete lie. I hadn’t been thinking straight ever since I saw her.
“Ohh you mean that girl downstairs!” I say sarcastically. The brunette next to me sees right through it though.
“Never heard your voice get so quiet and shaky I swear,” Lou says, a blush setting on the apples of my cheeks thinking back to last evening. “You were fully stuttering.”
“No way bro!” I groan, biting my lower lip so as to not laugh. Though I knew better. I was definitely stuttering.
I hadn’t seen much of the girl, just her face poking through the door into the hallway. But something about her took my breath away, I couldn’t look anywhere else. It was Lou finally elbowing me that made me realise I had been staring at the dark haired girl. She was so beautiful it physically pained me to look away, but with a struggle, I had done so. 
But then she spoke. And if I wasn’t trembling before, the lilt of her voice had me weak in the knees immediately. It was deep, yet simultaneously sweet. Nevermind the accent that hadn’t left my head all night. Lou made fun of me relentlessly all night because apparently, my voice was shaking when I talked to her. I think she was full of shit.
“You were, I don’t blame you,” the brunette murmurs. “She was hot.”
I kiss my teeth, looking out the window. “Don’t matter, she could be Zendaya and I still wouldn’t get into all that.”
Lou looks bewildered, eyes flickering between me and the road.
I grin at her, shaking my head. “Nah I’m staying celibate. Scout’s honor. Got me that Natty last season.”
It was true. For the first time last season I had not been involved with any girl - and it worked out pretty well in the end. It got me the ring. Adapting to a new team, new city, new life was already hard enough without fucking around. Girls had a way of making everything complicated.
“You? Celibate?” Lou asks, her tone skeptical. I suppose she remembers a different Paige from when we were both Huskies. I had changed a lot though, grown up.
“Trust,” I nod as we park in front of a nice apartment building, Arike making her way out and into the car.
“Yo,” she greets us, and I nod into the rearview mirror, meeting her gaze.
“Sup my rookie!” Arike grins and squeezes my shoulder. “You ready for tonight?”
“Aren’t we just gonna eat and go home?” I ask but Lou and Rike are quick to shake their heads.
“Nah these things don’t end till late, we know how to party here you know what I’m sayin?” The girl in the back grins.
“Don’t blame you, nothing else to do here,” I complain half-jokingly. 
“Yooo not too much. You’ll grow to like it,” Arike laughs, grabbing her phone. “Just don’t drink everything people offer you today, got it?”
“Yeah, everyone’s gonna be trying to get you drunk,” Lou chuckles. “My rookie year they had me almost blacked out.”
“Almost? You were blacked out. We had to carry you to bed.”
I laugh and sigh, rubbing my jaw, my nerves stirring within my abdomen. “Great.”
-
The restaurant is buzzing with people, an entire second floor reserved just for the Dallas Wings employees. Arike, Lou and I show up fashionably late, but to my pleasant surprise everyone’s too busy huddling around the bar, lining up for drinks. I smooth over my green sweatshirt, already feeling the heat get to me. How the hell was I supposed to dress for weather like this? It wasn’t even summer yet.
I walk over to Satou, who’s grinning widely at me.
“Look at you, our baby rookie. Let’s get you a drink!” She smiles convincingly. I glance at Arike and Lou behind me, snickering amongst themselves already. So it begins.
“Feels wrong to drink at a team event like this,” I tell the taller girl, guiding me towards the bar. I was more used to sneaking drinks into hotel rooms, doing our best to hide them from the coaching staff. Guess this is what growing up feels like.
“Nah, don’t worry. Everyone’s chill here,” Satou laughs and orders us two beers before I have the opportunity to interrupt and ask for a Shirley. Reluctantly I grab the beer, cheering with the girl next to me.
“To the saviour of the Wings!!” She jokes and I roll my eyes, shaking my head.
“Sorry, but could you check if they are Manzanilla olives?”
The accent. I immediately turn my back on Satou, my body working before my mind can as my eyes scan the room. And then I see her. The girl from the apartment underneath mine.
She’s standing at the other end of the bar, holding a black clutch in her hand as she talks with the bartender. Her dark hair is down, in perfect waves, not one strand out of order. The dress she’s wearing isn’t red, but more maroon, shade matching the red of her lipstick to the hilt. The one-shoulder dress leaves her left one completely bare, and the golden jewelry sitting against her light brown skin makes her sparkle in the moody lighting. No words would do justice, I know that much. My knees nearly buckle at the sight of her. This strange girl whose name I didn’t even know, yet kept haunting my existence here in Dallas.
“Oh they’re not? Then nevermind the martini, could I just get a glass of Chardonnay please?”
If I had been nervous before, then it was nothing compared to the way my stomach was stirring now. Which is insane considering I didn’t even know this girl’s name. Hell, I better just avoid her tonight. I’m not on my a game. I should just keep my distance.
“Paige! That’s the girl!” Lou is half whispering, half screaming over the crowd, incredibly obviously pointing at the dark haired girl. To my relief she doesn’t notice, too busy swirling the wine in her glass around and sniffing it. 
“Shut up,” I mouth to Lou as she walks up to me, Arike on her tail.
“What girl?” Arike whispers, already eyeing every woman over my shoulder.
I give Lou a look, widening my eyes and telling her to keep her mouth shut. But of course, it fails. I had no power here.
“We ran into this hot girl in Paige’s building yesterday and Paigey here got all shy and nervous.”
Arike bursts out laughing, and I’m pretty sure my face was going completely pink at this point. So I sip half of my beer quickly, letting the girls get over their laughing fit.
“You done?” I ask in annoyed, eyeing the girls.
Gasping for air, Arike nods and grins at me. “Well go get her.”
“She can’t, she’s celibate,” Lou answers. The shorter girl standing next to her scoffs, clearly finding amusement in that.
“Yeah, good luck with that. You’re the new hooper in town, gon’ be drowning in pussy. I was,” she says, sipping her beer. “The rookie year is crazy.”
“Oh trust, she was drowning in it at Uconn too-”
“Okay okay, chill guys,” I interrupt the conversation, Satou standing next to us quietly and chuckling to herself. 
“So which one is it?” Arike asks. Glancing over my shoulder I see the girl from downstairs talking to some guy around the same age as her. Just as I’m about to point her out, Satou and Arike are waving that exact guy over.
“Yo Trey!! My guy!!”
All of a sudden he’s walking over with her. I feel my face going red, my breathing growing ragged, my eyes quickly flicking to the floor. She was like the sun, as much as I wanted to I couldn’t look directly at her - it might blind me.
“What’s up, my favourite girls!” The guy - Trey, apparently - says brightly and dabs all of them up. 
“Ahh and the prodigy!” He grins, turning to me. I lick my lower lip and smile back, offering my hand. “I’m the guy with the camera, you’ll see me around. Trey.”
I dab him up, ignoring the tingling on the left side of my body where the dark haired girl is standing, evidently feeling as awkward as I was. Except she was better at hiding it, looking around the room with an air of confidence.
“Well I’m the one with the basketball, you’ll know where to find me. I’m Paige,” I flash him my most charming smile. Everyone laughs at my joke, except the girl beside me. I quickly decide that perhaps getting drunk wouldn’t be such a bad idea.
“Oh this is Zari, she’s new from England, Linda finally hired someone to work on the social media shit,” Trey explains, pointing to the girl between me and him. I blink stupidly when I look at her. Somehow she was more beautiful up close which made my throat feel tighter. I quickly sip my beer again, looking to the ceiling. Fuck, pull yourself together. I wasn’t this superficial - feeling like this just because someone was hot. Who knows, she might be the worst person you’ve ever met.
“That would be me, hi!” She says when I realise I was barely listening to Trey before, completely not making note of her name. She shakes everyone’s hand, smiling kindly. Fuck, are my hands sweaty? Better wipe them on my shorts first. I gotta make eye contact - I’m sure a couple seconds will be enough. It might be all I can bear.
The girl turns to me, her right hand extended. I glance at it, gripping it gently. Her hand shake is surprisingly firm, but I barely notice, feeling as if my skin is on fire. The moment our eyes meet I look away, knowing that everyone and their mothers could tell I was blushing right now.
“I forgot your name,” is all that comes out of my mouth, so clumsily I wanna hide behind the bar and never come out when I realise how rude it sounded.
To my shock she’s not taken aback at all by my bluntness, instead holding herself with an almost regal air. I wasn’t sure if I was intimated or turned on - either way I was overcome with a desperate need to make her like me. Surely I was off to a horrible start.
Our eyes meet again. Hers are dark green, deep and rich like the pine trees back home. I can feel myself wanting to sink in deeper, to bask in their familiarity. To feel the sting of cold air and smell the snow falling from the sky and to bask in the scent of pine all over me. Before I know it I notice her glossed lips move, but my ears barely pick anything up. An I? And I think there was an A at the end? You gotta be kidding me.
“I- Ivanna?” I stutter. She chuckles softly, as the others around us snicker amongst themselves. Bitches. 
“No, darling, let’s try again,” she smiles, her tone so sweet it’s bordering on condescending. I fucking swoon at it. “Izara.”
I nod, not sure if the heat on my face is from how hot and humid it was inside the restaurant, or from the public humiliation in front of this gorgeous girl. I chuckle mostly to myself, rubbing my jaw and looking around to break eye contact finally. Far too distracting.
“Izara,” I repeat, noticing Satou, Arike, Lou and some of the others laughing at my clumsy behaviour. I was just begging Izara didn’t make note of why I was acting a fool. 
“Zari is better,” the brunette says, a slight teasing tone to her voice. I breathe heavily out my nose, trying to get the blush to settle from my cheeks.
“Zari, got it.”
“Took you long enough,” Arike teases, making everyone laugh, except Zari who just smiles at me.
“Guys, not all of us are used to the Texas heat. It messes with your head,” she says with enough authority in her voice to make everyone around us stop laughing and give me sympathetic looks.
“Uhh yeah, it’s hot,” I answer bluntly, my voice shaking a little as I rub my neck. On top of the mess I was, I could feel myself sweating. I have to get home as fast as possible. Or not home. But back to the apartment I was staying in for now, until the moment I could go back home to the East Coast.
“Shit, I’m Paige by the way,” I say, realising I never introduced myself to Zari. She scoffs, waving me off.
“Paige, it’s my job to know who you are,” she points out. It’s funny, and I want to laugh. But nothing comes out of my mouth, I’m simply unable to, her proximity leaving me completely discombobulated. So I just sip my beer.
“Right.”
-
Paige Bueckers hates me. The moment she met me I could tell. Maybe she was offended by the fact I didn’t recognise her last night. Figures, a star like her would have a huge ego. Still, I had one job tonight. To make her like me. And I had done the exact opposite. I could tell by the way she avoided my gaze, the way she barely wanted to shake my hand, abruptly pulling it away from my grip. She barely talked to me, wrapped up in a conversation with everyone besides me. I couldn’t afford to disappoint my boss, if I did it would be bye bye Dallas and hello London. 
I’m sitting between Trey and another colleague, Ava, both caught up in a lively conversation as I cut a piece of my steak, wrapping my lips around the fork and chewing on it. Glancing up from my plate, I see Paige throwing her head back as she laughs with her teammates, her entire demeanor so much more lively now that I wasn’t close to her. A slight irritation was growing in me, watching the carefree way she’s joking around with the people around her part of the long table. Who was she to make up her mind on whether she liked me so fast. I was the kind of person you grew to love. I’m sure she would as well.
“Okay everybody!” Curt Miller stands up clinking his glass with the cutlery. Suddenly everyone goes quiet, including the blonde. For a second our eyes meet, sending a strange jolt around my body. Blinking, I shift my gaze to the man, clearly ready to give a speech.
“Alright alright,” he laughs, “I just wanna thank everyone for coming here tonight. I was never good at these so let me keep it short. This is gonna be a big, exciting year and I’m so grateful to the Wings for giving me this opportunity. I know I’m a new face to some of you, but I’m in great company,” he grins and points to Paige. “And Linda here mentioned something about a new media employee too!”
Like on cue Linda stands up a few chairs to the right of me, nodding. “Yes Curt, we’ve got some young blood to help this year all the way from England. Izara here, should help us grow our social media reach.”
I smile, trying to focus on appearing together and poised, some people glancing towards me. 
“Awesome news!” Curt grins as Linda sits back down. “With two young talents I’m sure we’re gonna have a hell of a year,” he says, glancing at both me and Paige. I see Arike rub Paige’s shoulder, clearly excited and happy about how the lottery turned out for the Wings this year.
“Now since I’m boring everyone out of their minds why don’t you two say a few words.”
Pause. I feel a panic rise from somewhere deep in my abdomen. Don’t get me wrong, I had no issue with public speaking, no issue with performing. What I did have an issue with was improvising. I was the girl who planned, who made lists, who used to finish her essays the day before a deadline. With a plan I was golden, but to expect me to say anything, planless, was causing jitters. I was just hoping it didn’t show on my face.
Mine and Paige’s eyes meet, and I immediately know that I wasn’t as composed as I wanted to be. That she knew I was panicking. Bet this is just gonna make her hate me more.
Instead, to my surprise, she clears her throat and begins speaking with an easy confidence.
“Uh well, way to throw us under the bus Curt,” she jokes, immediately making everyone chuckle, including me. “Guess I know what kinda season this is about to be.” Another round of laughs around the table giving her time to scratch the back of her neck as she thinks. With a slight smirk on her face she continues.
“This is a big moment for me. I grew up with the sport, already knew I had a chance to go pro when I was eight. I’ve been waiting for a while to get to the league and to finally be here… It’s surreal. I feel really blessed, really grateful,” she says looking at her plate and then letting out a sly, quiet laugh. “Crazy that I’m drinking with the coaching staff right there, I’m so used to having to hide it.”
I chuckle with the rest of the group. There’s something about her, a smoothness, a charm that makes it impossible not to like her. Even improvising like this she seems completely in control, like she knows she’s got everyone wrapped around her finger. It’s impressive. I can’t look away.
“Geno didn’t let you drink?” Curt asks lightheartedly, making Paige’s blue eyes widen.
“He would’ve put belt to ass, lemme just say that.”
More laughter. Paige looks around meeting my gaze.
“Zari, I know you got that cold right? So maybe I should just speak for you so you have a voice tomorrow?”
Huh? I furrow my brows looking at her confused, but her eyes won’t budge, boring into mine. And then I realise. She’s trying to let me off the hook.
“Yes please,” I smile back, looking down to my lap. Something about the way she did that all for me, picked up on my nerves, found a way to get me out of it, was making my insides flip. You wouldn’t do that for someone you hate I suppose.
“I gotchu,” Paige grins, looking back to everyone around the table. “I think we’re both just really grateful for the opportunity and really excited for the season. Anyway, thanks guys.” 
Everyone claps and I do too, my heart warming at the way Paige Bueckers had just saved me. 
“Wait, you're sick?” Trey whispers. 
“Uh, a little.”
-
“Hope you feel better Zari!” Ava says as I wave bye, walking towards the exit.
“Thanks guys, I’m sure I will,” I say, knowing I felt just fine. Great even, after a few glasses of wine. As I step out into the evening, I hold my fur coat in my hands, too hot to put it on. To my surprise I see Paige standing right outside the restaurant, scrolling on her phone. Interrupted by the tapping of my heels, she lifts her gaze, the intensity of her blue eyes surprising.
“Hey,” she smiles, avoiding looking at my face again. She was really giving me mixed signals.
“Hi there,” I say, walking closer. “Thanks for rescuing me earlier.”
She looks at the parking lot, a sly smirk spreading across her face.
“Nah, you’re good,” the blonde grins, diamond studs in her ears sparkling. “Not a fan of speeches?”
I shrug, taking that as an invite for conversation. “No I can certainly be… If you give me approximately two weeks to prepare. Minimum.”
Paige chuckles, nodding to herself. “You’re that kinda girl huh?”
“Desperately so.”
She shifts on her feet, looking for something to say.
“That’s a good trait to have, I try to plan too but usually doesn’t last for longer than a week or two,” she explains. I nod knowingly.
“My brother’s a bit like that,” I sigh. I was already missing him.
Paige turns to me, looking for my gaze.
“You got a brother?”
I nod, “Yeah, he’s younger. Your age.”
She’s taken aback. “Hollup how old are you?”
“Turned 25 last month.”
“Damn,” she says before thinking. I scoff, my eyes widening, though finding amusement in her reaction
”Are you calling me old?” I ask with a serious tone, her face immediately going bright red. 
”No, no no, not at all. You look… great.  Amazing, and like. That’s not even old, I'm just trippin’. I just assumed you were my age but like a year is nothin-” she rambles, tripping over her words.
”Paige I’m taking the piss,” I laugh. She stops, looking at me confused.
”You’re what?”
Oh right, Americans. ”I’m joking around.”
She laughs. ”Taking the piss?”
I laugh too, the air immediately easing between us.
”I’mma start using that,” Paige chuckles, glancing at me. 
��You’re welcome,” I grin.
She scoffs. ”I didn’t say thank you.”
”You should,” I demand, more seriously, meeting her blue eyes. She immediately folds, blinking her long lashes.
”Thank you.”
I suddenly feel hot, warmth rising to my cheeks. I quickly look back to the ground, the intensity of her gaze too much right now.
”Hey, uh… I think we live in the same building,” she murmurs, watching the sky. Shit, she had recognised me, of course.
”Yeah… I’m sorry I didn’t recognise you. I really should have,” I quickly explain, feeling a little abashed but trying not to let it show.
”No, I just meant, I ordered an Uber. You need a ride?”
Oh. So she wasn’t mad. She was offering me a ride.
”I’d love one. Are you sure?”
”Totally,” Paige answers, smiling at me softly. She fans her own face, trying to find any relief for the heat. 
”Shit it’s hot,” the blonde groans. ”Do you mind if I take this off? I got a shirt underneath.”
”Oh, no go ahead darling,” I tell her.
With a sigh, Paige’s hands grip the back of her green sweatshirt, pulling it over her head. As she does my eyes can’t help it, flickering over her lower abdomen where both shirts have hiked up, showing a sliver of pale skin and black boxers peeking out of her shorts. Something about it makes my throat go dry. I’m not exactly sure what. The feeling almost unfamiliar to me. 
”That’s so much better,” Paige groans with relief, fixing the white oversized button up, chains resting against her chest. I feel my ears growing hot, quickly averting her gaze.
-
She’s not horrible, on top of being gorgeous she’s fucking great - funny, sweet, charismatic. Would be so much easier if Zari was an asshole like I had hoped earlier. I could feel butterflies in my stomach every time she looked at me. That familiar warmth that I knew too well.
We walk to the Uber together, and I make sure I open the door for her - I didn’t know her that well, but I could tell she was classy. On a whole different level than me. 
I climb in after her, unbuttoning more of my shirt for some airflow. For a second I think I catch her staring, but I knew it was unlikely. She was definitely giving me straight girl vibes. Of course my stupid ass was ogling after a straight girl - nothing new to me. My eyes immediately land on her thighs, her legs crossed and pressing together as she sits next to me. Okay, get a grip Paige.
”So… How you liking Dallas?” I ask, unable to take the silence in the car. 
”I haven’t seen much of it, just moved the other day,” she answers, her voice low but smooth, I could’ve listened to her talk all night. ”It’s very humid.”
”Damn that jetlag gotta be hitting hard huh?” I ask, looking at her.
”I look tired?” She asks, offended. An immediate panic takes over, my hands gripping the sweater in my hands. Shit.
”No you look fucking great. I would’ve never th-”
”Paige. I’m joking.”
Oh. I let out a sigh of relief, chuckling awkwardly. I look out the window, shaking my head at myself. I really needed to chill.
”Taking the piss?”
She lets out a loud, bright laugh, grabbing my forearm. The gold rings on her digits sparkle as her long, manicured nails dig into the white shirt. Immediate goosebumps rising underneath on my skin tell me I’m completely fucked.
“Exactly!” She gleams, her smile wide. “You did so good.”
That. I need to hear her say that again. I clear my throat to interrupt the bad thoughts, feeling Zari’s hand move off me, skin tingling as the weight of her touch lifts.
We pull up to our apartment building, both of us climbing out.
“I can transfer you some money for the ride,” Zari suggests as I let her into the building, eyes falling on her ass just for a second. Okay, no. Look away.
“No, Ion need you to,” I tell her sternly as we begin to climb up the flights of steps, her heels tapping against the tile of the floor. The sound echoes off the walls until we stop by her front door, silence draping over us, making me painfully aware of the way my heart was pounding in my chest.
“Well,” Zari smiles, turning to me, her green eyes even more prominent with the dark makeup surrounding them. Only then I notice how catlike they are, sharp and alert. Challenging almost.
I wanna say something smart, something witty. Something to make her laugh, or blush. I’m rummaging through my brain for anything coherent at least.
“I’ll see you at work,” she says, opening her door. I was running out of time.
“You’ll know where to find me,” I stupidly let out. Zari turns to look at me one more time and nods.
“Don’t stomp too loud please.”
With that she gets in, leaving me there with nothing to do but blink at the closed door and notice the flutters around my stomach. Rubbing my jaw, I slowly climb up one more flight of stairs, mind spinning around the girl. Completely, utterly out of my league. It only made me want her more.
-
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battymommastuff · 7 months ago
Text
Eden
Batmom x Batman
Warnings: SMUT, HEAVY NSFW, MINORS AND AGELESS ACCOUNTS DNI
Prompt: My, my, those eyes like fire...I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Masterlist
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!!DISCLAIMER!! - This likely won't be comic accurate (Obviously), but I did draw inspiration from the comics. If you are looking for something accurate, then this fanfic isn't for you.
"What the hell are you doing here?" You asked as you shut the door to a random room in your lavish mansion. As soon as Bruce made himself known to you, you dragged him to the nearest place for privacy. The last thing you needed is your husband seeing you conversate with Gotham's resident playboy billionaire.
"I'm here for you, Y/n. I made a mistake, and I can't live with myself knowing you're with...him." Bruce said as he gestured to the self portrait of your husband on the wall. Even then, he still wore that damned mask. You just closed your eyes and let out a deep breath. You've imagined this day would happen. The day Bruce instantly made you regret your marriage. All you wanted in this moment was to jump in his arms and have him walk you right out of this mansion. You wanted that from the moment you accepted the proposal. Marrying you husband was the biggest mistake of your life.
"I believe I am attending a ball as a resident of Gotham's elite." Bruce answered as he took a sip of his champagne. God it felt so good to see you this close again. He's only ever seen you through binoculars or pictures. He missed being this close to you even though he hadn't touched you. Since you departure, he felt himself go slightly feral. Bruce never realized how much he wanted you until he saw you with another man. Now he was going to do everything in his power to make sure he gets you.
You just rolled your eyes. Out of all the events your husband has thrown, Bruce arrives now? When the place is crawling with Court members, "Why are you really here, Bruce?" You asked as you removed your mask. He felt his heart race when he finally saw you face. You were absolutely beautiful. Simply stunning. He couldn't put into words what he felt for you at this moment.
"Bruce, I can't..." You whispered as you shook your head. He didn't like that answer in the slightest. He closed the already short distance between the two of you, and grabbed your face. His forehead resting against yours.
"Y/n, please. All I've wanted...I've dreamed about is having you back. I was afraid of what would happen if I let myself be happy. I couldn't let myself love you, only to lose you." He confessed and shook his head as you started spouting more rejections. Eventually his lips just pressed against yours to get you to shut up. The kiss was instantly reciprocated as you tangled your fingers into his hair. He backed you up against he wall, and started kissing down your-...
"Ugh, I'm going to throw up..." You were knocked out from your story by all of your children looking at you as if they were going to be sick. You didn't go into heavy detail like you did in your mind, but they got the picture. So you just shook your head and continued on with the story after that moment. Bruce, who had been eavesdropping...kept the memory going in his mind.
Bruce had bent you over the desk that sat across the room His hands sliding up your dress to yank your underwear down. There wasn't time for foreplay. He needed to get this out, and he needed it out now. His lips moved along the skin of your neck and shoulders. He wanted to leave marks all over your skin, but he couldn't. It would make your life hell. Your hands gripped onto the edge of the desk as Bruce dropped his pants down along with his boxers.
The feeling of him slowly pushing into you...felt amazing. Your eyes widened as a gasp came from your lips. Bruce's forehead rested on your shoulder as he pushed into you, "At least I know I don't have any competition with the Grand Master." He teased after feeling how tight you were. He was having a bit of trouble fitting.
Minutes later, heavy panting along with the sounds of the desk scooting on the wooden floor was all that could be heard in the room. One hand had reached back to hold onto his wrist while the other had wrapped around the back of his head. His hands were holding your hips tightly, and his hips moved as quickly as he could muster. Both of you lost in ecstasy. You turned your head to kiss him, but it was barely a kiss. Mostly just heavy pants while your tongues brushed together. He had forced your wedding ring from your finger and thrown it across the room. In this room, you weren't the wife of the Grand Master...you were his. As if should be.
"B-Bruce..." You whimpered, your walls clenching around his length. He just groaned in response before pushing your head down onto the table. His thrusts became more sporadic. No ounce of rhythm. Your eyes rolled back once you came. His hand quickly covering your mouth to hide the moan that came out. Bruce's hips slammed against yours roughly as he fucked his cum into you. A 'Fuck You' to the Grand Master for stealing you away.
You both panted heavily as Bruce pulled away from you to grab some tissues and started cleaning you up, "I cheated on my husband..." You panted as you felt him clean you up. Bruce just chuckled in response.
Once you were cleaned up, you went for your panties. That wasn't very easy to do since Bruce took them before you could get them. He dropped them into his jacket pocket, "Those are mine now, beautiful." He purred then pulled you to him once again. Your lips connected in a passionate kissed, "Let me take you away from here..." He whispered and kissed your forehead.
You shook your head, "No let me stay. The Grand Master has something planned. He won't tell me what it is, but I'm close to finding out." You said, your hands running up and down his arms, "Let me be your spy. I'll give you information, and then we can take him down...together. We can get rid of the Court...for good." You said, and with reluctance...Bruce accepted.
Rejoining the party was a bit awkward. Considering the fact that your husband had been searching for you. He took note of your slightly disheveled appearance, but didn't want to question it. His arm wrapped around your waist as he pulled you close, "Where is your wedding ring?"
TAGLIST
No Taglist for this one because I don't want to tag someone who isn't comfortable with reading smut.
~ Batty
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starkeynation · 5 days ago
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I love you, I’m sorry
A letter from reader to Rafe
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Content: Angst, like PURE sad, the lamp looks weird, based on the song I love you, I’m sorry by Gracie Abrams (may or may not be accurate)
A/N: about that cliffhanger and happy ending, I changed my mind… also ignore any writing mistakes if there’s any and this was kinda rushed so I hope it still turns out good
Masterlist
dividers from @anitalenia
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Rafe,
It is Saturday night. I should be out doing something, partying or whatever to enjoy myself, yet here i am, pen in hand, finding myself writing to you again. I know this letter will never reach you- it’ll end up crumpled at the bottom of my drawer or burned to ashes. Still, I can’t seem to stop myself.
It has been exactly two august ago since everything fell apart. I remember the way I laid it all out, raw, I wanted to be real, hoping that honesty would mend us. We weren’t perfect. Hell, we were far from it. We fought like fire and gasoline, burning everything we touched. Jealousy leads us to mistrust each other but even then, I didn’t think it would end the way it did. I never thought that fight would be the last..the final, devastating blow before you ghosted me and blocked me everywhere.
I swear it wasn’t my intention to break up with you, I thought by exposing the cracks, we could patch them together. Instead, the truth just ended up pushing you away. When you drove off in your Benz and left me standing at my gate, it felt like everything had stopped. The time, the world, my heart…everything froze. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to scream, I wanted to stop you, beg you to stay, to tell you that we could still save us but you didn’t look back, and i was too late.
Now, i watch you from a distance as you become successful, helping your dad doing business, running Cameron’s development like you were born to do it. I heard your name whispered in admiration at the club where I work, how you charm people the way you trained for. And you know what? I’m so so proud of you Rafe. I always knew you had it in you. I’ll be rooting for you always, even from the shadows.
Maybe two summers from now we’ll be talking again at some point, exchange smiles, our lives untangled and we’re cool again. I can picture you’ll be in your family’s jet, travelling, and me, on my boat moving on with our own lives. By then, i hope..im actually ready to move on. I know you’ve already moved on- I mean, why wouldn’t you? Still, there’s part of me wish that you wouldn’t yet, and maybe, just maybe, you would take me back.
But that’s just selfish isn’t it? I was selfish when we were together too. I made everything about me, i was inconsiderate, I turn something small into raging battles. I didn’t listen, didn’t see you for who you were. I’m ashamed of the person I was, of the mistakes I made. After everything i did, I’m surprised you haven’t send someone to kill me yet.
Lately I find myself sitting on the porch, watching sunsets like we used to, with a glass of something strong in my hand. I laugh at myself, at the crash I made, because what else can I do? It’s a twisted kind of coping—laughing at my own heartbreak. It doesn’t feel real and it’s really hard to let go but i guess that’s just the way life goes.
I know i was a dick, Rafe. I had too many flaws to count but as sick as it sounds, I loved you first. You’ll always be my first love. You were the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me, a storm that left me shattered but alive. Your love had impact me deeply, it is carved in my soul. No matter where we are, i want you to know that I’ll carry the past and the weight of my mistakes with me. Trust me, it will always, haunt me.
I regret every second for not treating you well, for not being the person you needed. Lastly, i want you to know that I still, truly, deeply, love you, I’m sorry.
*Ding* you heard the bell rings. You rush downstairs to answer the door.
“Pizza delivery”, says the delivery boy standing in front of you. You almost forgot you ordered one, an hour ago. You take your prepaid alfredo chicken pizza and thank him. It was Rafe’s favourite pizza, you’re not sure if it’s still his favourite though. After shutting the door, you walk to your kitchen.
Just two seconds later, *ding* the bell rings again. Did the delivery boy forget anything? You thought.
You open the door, “yes-“ you pause. You couldn’t believe it, standing right in front of you,
“Topper?”
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“Topper what are you doing here?” you ask, your voice laced with confusion.
He then steps aside and reveals a man behind him, lying on the steps of your porch- a man whose silhouette you’d recognize anywhere. “Rafe,” you whisper.
“Shit I’m sorry to bother you but this dumbass got into an accident for driving while he’s high,” Topper blurts out, panickly.
Your brow furrowing and your confusion deepens. You walk closer to Rafe and spot the blood dripping from his head, “Accident? What? Then why do you bring him here instead of the hospital?” You ask, your voice sharp, slicing through the chaos of the moment.
“He won’t let me. He insisted I bring him here to see you,” Topper explains.
“Y/n,” Rafe speaks up, his voice low and strained.
Your heart skips a beat. It’s like the universe has stopped spinning again. This is the first time you hear him calling your name after two whole years.
“Hey Rafe, you’re bleeding,” you say, your voice mix with feelings.
“I’m fine,” he says, giving a soft, disarming smile while trying to sit up.
You instruct Topper to go find some cloth to stop the bleeding. As he dissapears, you sit on your knees facing to Rafe, “Rafe, what happened? Why are you here?” you ask, still have no clue of what’s going on here.
“I wanted to see you,” he replies, putting on that damn smile again, the one that’s always managed to unravel you. “I miss you, y/n.”
Your face goes pale, your eyes widens, the words hang in the hair, heavy and unexpected. “Rafe, you’re drunk,” you accuse, trying to make sense of what’s happening right now.
“No, I’m not, i swear I’m very conscious right now,” he insists, his voice firm. You’re still not sure if he’s telling the truth or not. “I really miss you, y/n,” he continues, his voice low but still clear for you to hear it.
Your heart aches, torn between disbelief and the undeniable pull of his words. “How hard did you hit your head? God, you’re still bleeding. We need to see a doctor,” you say, trying to stand up, but he grabs your hand, pulling you back down.
“Stop it, I’m fine i swear…this is nothing,” he says waving off the concern. Just then, Topper returns with a towel in his hand. He hands the towel to you and says, “dude, are you sure you’re okay? When i saw your car there were smokes everywhere. Looks like you hit that tree pretty hard,” his voice fill with concern.
“I’m fine Top, just go. I need to talk to y/n,” Rafe says with a dismissive wave. Topper hesitates, he looks at you for confirmation as if you’re the one in charge here. You nod at him, signalling an approval, “s’okay Top i can handle this.”
“Okay, just call me if anything happens,” he says. “Thank you,” you mutter softly to Topper as he’s leaving towards his car.
With Topper gone, you shift your focus back to Rafe. You take the towel and start dabbing on the blood on his forehead, “we still need to get this stitched up,” you say. Rafe then grabs your wrist, his grip firm but not forceful, “look at me,” he demands.
You look at him straight in the eyes, drowning in his blue eyes. It’s overwhelming- staring at the man that you love but no longer yours.
“I do mean what i said, i miss you y/n and i wanted to see you,” he says, his tone steady and sure.
“But why now?” You ask, your voice breaking under the weight of the question.
“Sar..Sarah told me tonight that you’ve been writing letters about me. She found them stashed under your bed,” he says, hesitantly.
Your stomach drops and you shake your head in disbelief, “God…i knew it there was something wrong. She was acting so weird when she left this morning,” you mutter.
“So it’s true? You’ve been writing about me?”
Your face is turning red, you’re struggling to find the words. “I- yes…I’ve been writing letters. Pretending like I’m gonna send it to you but i never do,” you stutter.
“Why didn’t you just send them?” He presses, his voice low, almost pleading.
“You know why Rafe…you’ve moved on. You blocked me few months after we broke up. You’re thriving now with your job, you got your whole life together, and I- I was the reason why we broke up. I can’t just crawl my way back into your life like nothing happened,” you shatter, your voice breaking as you’re struggling to control your tears.
Rafe shakes his head. He brushes his thumb over your knuckles and kisses it. “You’re wrong y/n, you’re absolutely wrong. I’ve been doing nothing over the past two years except than trying to forget about you. That’s why I’ve been doing all these jobs, thinking it could distract me, but no,” he shakes his head again. “Nothing could make me stop thinking about you.”
His confession leaves you breathless, your tears streaming down your face as he continues. “About the blocking and disappearing, I’m really sorry, I was a coward. The truth is, that day i came to your house to apologize. Then, as I stood outside, i saw you were laughing with jj through your window. I knew you guys were not together cause after jj left, I may or may not have confronted him…” he then mouthed sorry. “But then, I remember the way you looked so happy when you’re with him. At that time, I knew I had to let you go cause you deserve someone better and you deserve to be happy so that’s why I blocked you..as if that makes any difference.”
You idiot,” you scoff. “I never wanted anyone else, only you Rafe, only you. You’re the only one who could truly make me happy.”
His eyes glisten, his smile soft and hesitant. “Please forgive me y/n, I swear I’m a better person now and I love- I love you, so much. I still do.”
You reach up, caress his cheek and pull him in for a kiss. “I love you too Rafe,” you whisper. He cups your face and returns the kiss. The kiss is passionate, slow and tender. His lip is so soft and only god knows how much you miss this. The world fades around you, leaving only the two of you, two broken pieces finding their way back to each other.
You pull away from his face and let out a giggle. “Why are you laughing?” He asks, can’t help but let out a soft giggle too.
“Before you came I was actually writing another letter for you,” you admit, a shy smile appears on your face.
“Oh really? Tell me about it baby,” he smirks. Your smile widens at the sound of the nickname that rolls out from his mouth. “Mm I miss that. You, calling me baby. Anyways, it’s in my room, wanna come in?” You ask.
He shakes his head, pulling you closer as he leans back against the stairs railing. “Hmm in a bit sweetheart, you can tell me here while we stargaze. I missed your porch- and mostly you, of course,” he replies with a faint smile.
So you do. You talk to him about the letter while your head rest on his shoulder and your fingers intertwined. “Lastly I wrote, I love you, I’m sorry,” you say, explaining the last content of the letter. But then, you realise he has gone quiet. His stillness unsettling. You glance up to him, “Rafe?” He’s not responding. You check his pulse but there is none. Panic sets in as you shake him, calling his name.
“Rafe”
“Rafe, wake up”
“Wake up!”
“Wake up!”
“Y/n”
“Y/n”
“Y/n, wake up”
You gasp, your heart is pounding like a drum. You’re sweating all over your body as reality crashes down. It was a nightmare.
“Hey..baby you okay?” You turn your head to your right and realise it’s Rafe. He’s okay, he’s alive and he’s sitting on the bed next to you. Relief floods through you like a tidal wave.
“Is it the nightmare again?” He asks. You nod, signalling him that he’s right.
“It’s okay baby I got you. Here, come back to sleep,” he says, gently pulling you into his arms. You smile and cuddle him, clinging to the illusion of safety his embrace provides. You close your eyes again trying to fall back to sleep till your alarm suddenly rings.
You wake up with a tear running down your cheek. You hit the snooze button and realise that was a dream and this time, it’s the true reality. You look to the other side of your bed, it’s empty. It always has been for quite a while now. The truth is, that night after Rafe collapsed, you called for an ambulance. On the way to the hospital, they try everything to make his heart beat again, but nothing works. It was too late. He had lost too many blood before that you weren’t aware of and that same night, Rafe had died in your arms.
It’s been 3 years since the tragic. You keep having the same dream almost every night. Part of you is grateful that you and Rafe had ended in good terms but another part of you knows that the truth is you’ll never get the chance to redeem yourself and be a better partner. There’s nothing remaining other than the memories that will haunt you forever.
Rafe, if you’re hearing this, I love you, I’m sorry.
Like and reblog if you want to kys after reading this😇☺️
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makeitmingi · 5 months ago
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Be Your Solace
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Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comfort, Slight Angst
Pairing: San x Reader (y/n)
Characters: UniversityStudent Girlfriend!Reader, UniversityStudent Boyfriend!San
Summary: Since your relationship was still relatively new, you were afraid of letting San meeting your family. You didn't want them to chase him away. But your boyfriend can't stand to see you stressed, anxious and exhausted from your family. So he tries to help you and be your solace.
Warning(s): Reader has anxiety and is mentally anxious, bad mental health. Depictions of toxic family dynamic and family members. There may be triggering topics to certain readers. Please read at your own discretion.
[A/N: Happy belated birthday Choi San!!!!!! This is my 'self-indulgent' fic. Some parts you may find rather detailed because it is a close depiction to my own personal experiences with extended family. And how I am going through it right now. So I wrote this to vent, rant and comfort myself.]
Word count: 7.7K
'At the end of the day, family will always be family. And family will always comes first.'
That's what you've been told your whole life. No matter what happens between family members, you'll always be family, you'll always share blood bonds. And blood is thicker than water... right? The expectation that family will always come first was seared into your brain.
"(y/n)? Did you hear what I said?" Your boyfriend's voice pulled you out of your mind's despair.
"Huh? No, sorry, Sannie. What did you say?" You frowned at yourself, not even realising that you were spacing out. You blinked and let out a soft sigh, moving to meet his eyes.
"What's wrong? You didn't even react when I called you 'jagiya'." San joked but his eyes filled with concern and worry.
The reason you didn't like the pet name 'jagiya' because that was what San and his best friend, Wooyoung, called each other.
Instead he calls you, 'baby', 'love' or his favourite, 'baby love'. To him, that was the most unique and it combined his two other petnames for you. And that made it special to both you and San.
"I'm fine. Just a little distracted." You forced a smile. One of San's hand reached out to cup your cheek, the other wrapped around your waist to pull you closer to him.
"You're not fine. Tell me what's bothering my baby?" He tilted his head with a small pout.
"It's just my family... You know how it is... My cousin's coming back to visit and as usual, the whole family is rushing to accomodate her as if she's the queen. She's not even here yet and I'm already so bothered by it." You rubbed your temples.
"This is the cousin that's the favourite of your oldest aunt, right?" He clarified. San hasn't met your extended family yet so he only knows them by your stories and rants about them.
"Yes. And since my aunt is the head of the family, we kind of have to do her bidding. I'd rather not face her wrath." You said.
"I understand." San nodded.
"And she knows I'm off school now so I'll probably be roped into doing more of whatever she has planned. She even made an excel sheet schedule." You groaned.
"Looks like all my weekends are gone." You said, looking at the schedule. San looked over to read through it.
"That's... a lot of things to do..." San frowned. Even he felt exhausted looking at that.
"I know!" You groaned, your head falling onto his shoulder. And what's worse is that you won't be able to see San as much since so much of your time would be taken up for family. San turned his body on the couch so he could face you and hug you properly. You buried your head into his chest.
"I shouldn't be complaining, right? I should be grateful for all these extravagant meals and outings she drags me to. But why do I feel such an exhaustion and dread?" You gulped.
"Everyone has a social battery, baby love. And it is very exhausting. I remember the last time she came back, you were sick after she left."
"Yeah because she has the flu and still came in close proximity to us." You mumbled bitterly.
"Would it help if I was there?" He asked carefully, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb as you tucked your face into the crook of his neck.
The last thing San wanted to do was to add to your stress or make you feel pressured into inviting him for these.
"Thanks, San. But I like our relationship so I don't want to risk scaring you away yet." You chuckled.
"Baby, you already have me and my love for you is greater than what your family can do to me. If I have to accept your family to be with you, so be it." He laughed and pulled away slightly to kiss the crown of your head.
But from your answer, San knew not to push it or insist that you let him come with you. He didn't want to make things difficult for you. You knew your family and were old enough to judge the situation.
"Wait, it's not that I'm embarrased by you or anything, okay? That side of my family is just judgemental and not welcoming-"
"Woah, woah, woah. Breathe, baby love. It's okay. Hey." He cupped your cheeks in his hands to ground you.
"Sorry..." You mumbled.
"Mmm-mmm, you have nothing to apologise for. Thank you for wanting to protect me." San pressed his forehead against yours. You gave him a small smile.
"I really wish I could have you with me. But there's this whole thing they have about insiders vs outsiders." You sighed.
"Before we continue, let's move to the room. This couch is too small to cuddle." Without saying anything else, San lifted you up and brought you to his room. As he climbed over you, he hovered over you for a few seconds to give you a kiss before landing his body beside yours.
"Here." He put Shiber in your arms for you to hug while he wrapped his arms around you to hug you.
"I'm sorry I'll be more absent these 3 weeks." You sighed, inhaling Shiber's scent. He smelled just like San, which comforted you.
"Don't worry about that now, baby. I'll miss you dearly but that's not for you to worry about. I'm not angry nor do I blame you." He assured pulling you closer to him.
"But I am angry. I need my San time." You whined. San laughed and cupped your cheek to give you a peck.
"You can come over any day, any time you need, hmm? Or if you want me to go over, let me know." He rubbed your back.
"Thank you." You murmured. San wished he could do more, he hated seeing your anxiety peak like this and how stressed out you were. The least he could do was be here for you when you need him.
When San hugged you like this, you felt so safe and protected from the world. Your anxiety was something you were transparent about right from the start. But San never grew annoyed with it, he was always there, patient and understanding.
It's funny because now you wonder how you lived without him all these years because you've definitely grown dependent on him.
"Take a nap, hmm? Rest your mind." He said, gently massaging the back of your neck to help you relieve the tension there. You melted in his touch.
When San woke up from the nap, you were not in bed with him. He heard you talking outside.
"So you've seen the schedule. Just help me book my hair and nail appointments where there's a free slot. No mornings though."
"Sure... I'll call and check. Then update the schedule." You said, nodding to the phone that you propped up using your mug so you wouldn't have to hold it.
"And make a booking at the Chinese restaurant for Sunday brunch too. Since you're usually the one who makes it."
"Okay, hang on for a bit." You blanked the camera and turned off the mic, waving San over. You both still heard your cousin rambling about something on the other end. San shuffled over to you, leaning down to give you a kiss. You giggled and ran your hands through his hair, combing out his bed hair.
"Sorry I left the bed. She called and I didn't want to wake you up with the talking." You sighed.
"It's okay. But you owe me." He smiled with a playful glint in his eyes. You laughed and nodded, giving him a final kiss before he moved away. You turned the camera and mic on again.
"What happened? Why did you have to turn off the camera and mic when we were talking half way? Why are you acting so secretive?"
"What? I'm not secretive." You frowned.
"It's just a boyfriend. You're at your boyfriend's place, aren't you? It's not that big a deal, (y/n). You don't have to act like it's some big secret. I have a boyfriend too."
"I know that. I just... It's not that it's a secret. I just enjoy my privacy." You sighed.
"Privacy? We're family, why do you have to keep it so private? That's making it a big deal."
"Anyway, back to the plans." You diverted the topic. You could only bite your tongue for so long and you didn't want to accidentally say something ugly. There was a nice facade that you had to maintain to keep the peace.
"Also, since I'm back, can you make me that Chinese dish you learnt to make the other time? I've been asking each time I return and you haven't made it for me."
"It's a lot of work and I'm busy..." You chewed on your bottom lip.
"Yeah but you're on holiday, right? What? You want me to pay you? I can pay you to make it."
"Money is not the issue here... It's time consuming and a lot of work. There are other things I need to attend to. Making that dish will take me two days..." You tried to reason with her.
"What's the point in saying you learnt to make it if you're not going to make it?"
"Yeah, my bad." You hummed.
"Anyway, our aunt said that for the two family gatherings, you're in charge of desserts so make enough this time, okay? And try something new, you always make the same thing."
From the kitchen, San listened to the conversation, his frown growing deeper as time went on. This was the first time he heard you speak to your cousins and it's like you're an entirely different person. He hated it and he hated how your cousin used your aunt's position in the family to make you do things.
"Are you bringing your boyfriend for any of the gatherings? I brought my boyfriend the last time I came back."
"I remember. But no, I don't intend to bring him this time." You shook your head, eyes casting to the side to meet San's. He just stared back at you with an unreadable expression.
"Maybe it's best that you don't. I got some heat the last time and I'm the favourite of the family. So, who knows what you'll get."
"Right, thanks for the heads up." You awkwardly chuckled.
"But I'm not saying you should keep him away forever. It's rude of you not to invite him. If you're serious about him and talk about him, you should bring him to meet us."
"I do intend to since he's already met my parents a few times. Just not this instance." You said.
"Keeping him away is not only rude, it's not fair to him either. You'll hurt his feelings and your relationship this way."
"I'm aware. Thank you for the advice." You forced a small smile, swallowing the lump in your throat. The exhale you let out was shaky, you were trying your best to keep it together but it was hard when she talked about how you were 'treating' San.
"Baby, are you free? I need your help!" San shouted. You looked up at meet his eyes.
"Looks like you're needed, you better go. Are you sure you can't pick me up from the airport tomorrow?"
"Seems like he needs me. And yeah, I'm sorry about that. I have a family dinner." You lied, hoping she bought your lie. San had come closer to you.
"Mmm, okay. But you better send me to the airport when I leave. Bye, I'll see you the day after tomorrow then."
After she hung up, you felt your whole body quiver. With shaky hands, you put your phone down.
"Baby love?" San approached you carefully but you stood up. You gulped and took a deep breath. In addition to everything else, now you felt embarrassed that San witnessed that.
"I-I'm going to the restroom." You made a beeline for the bathroom and closed the door. You knew you needed to collect yourself and not constantly depend on San to comfort you, you didn't want him to think that you were using him. Turning the sink on, you splashed your face with cold water.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
"Love? It's me. Open the door, hmm?" San was heard on the other side of the door.
"Just give me a second." You breathed out. From the gap beneath the door, you saw that he still stood there but he didn't rush you. He remained quiet until you were ready.
"God, I'm so embarrassed." You let out a tired sigh when you opened the door. San was leaning on the opposite wall and stood up.
"What's there to be embarrassed about, baby love?" His eyebrows furrowed with worry.
"Nothing. I'm good, Sannie. Don't worry about me, I-I'm used to it. But thanks for saving me." You threw your arms around his neck. His hands went to their usual place on your hips.
"I'll always save you." He kissed your cheek.
"I hate that she talks to you like that. I... I really hate it... She doesn't know anything about us." He mumbled against your shoulder as he hugged you tightly. You let out a hum, fingers toying with the ends of his hair behind his head.
"You're not rude and I'm not hurt that you're not bringing me to meet your extended family, okay? Our relationship is stronger than she thinks." San squeezed your waist.
"I know. What you think and feel is the most important. That's all that matters to me." You replied in a whisper.
"Aigo, my baby love. My pretty baby, my precious girl." San cooed, patting your butt teasingly.
Before meeting San, you hated people in your personal space. But one of the ways that San shows his love is through physical touch and now, you can't live without his hugs, kisses and cuddles.
*BEEP BEEP*
"Please tell me that's not her." San groaned and buried his face into the crook of your neck as you fished your phone out.
"Oh, nope. It's your boyfriend, he's coming with food for dinner and Yunho's tagging along." You informed, reading the text. San pulled away just to show you that he was rolling his eyes at you. In your phone, Wooyoung's contact was 'San's Boyfriend' and you did refer to him as such.
"He's not my boyfriend and I'm not his boyfriend. I'm YOUR boyfriend. You, (y/n) (y/l/n)." San squished your cheeks, pressing his forehead against yours.
"Not that many people have their boyfriends call another guy 'jagiya'. So can you blame me?' You teased.
"You-" San feign anger, chasing you around.
As you ran away, there was someone at your door. San wrapped his arms around your middle, playfully nibbling on the exposed skin between your neck and shoulder.
"Oh, your boyfriend and Yunho are here." You giggled and opened the door to let them in.
"Jagiya! I'm here!" Wooyoung came barreling in, throwing his arms around San, who caught him before they could both fall over. You chuckled with a shake of your head and wrapped an arm around Yunho to greet him.
"Sorry for coming unannounced." Yunho grinned, wrapping his long arms around you. You shook your head, all of San's friends were nice, you liked being around them.
"Some love for you too, baby girl." Wooyoung tugged you away from Yunho's embrace, planting a kiss on your cheek to rile San up.
"YAH!" San let out an outraged yell.
-
It only took about 3 days after your cousin's return for you to come back to San's place.
"San?" You called out after letting yourself in. He wasn't around, probably in the gym. The first thing you did was shower and wear one of San's shirts. After seeing that you liked to wear his shirts to comfort yourself, he started to set aside some of his shirts in the cupboard labelled 'Baby's Pile'.
"Hi, Shiber." You created a nest of San's blanket and hugged Shiber, just wanted to engulf yourself in his scent. It was the only thing that kept you sane now.
The first thing San did when he arrived home was notice your shoes in the doorway. The past 3 days, you haven't even had the time to text and call each other so he didn't know how you were doing.
"Baby love?" San called but there was no reply. He frowned in confusion and dropped his gym bag on the couch.
"Baby? Where are-" San paused when he saw you in his bed, fast asleep.
"My love." He whispered, hovering over you to give you a kiss on the cheek. You looked so precious and adorable in his shirt, hugging Shiber to you.
San went to take a shower, wanting to jump into bed with you and not disturb you with his sweaty self.
"Sannie?" San heard your sleepy voice from the bathroom and opened the door. You smiled when you saw him there.
"Don't you dare move a single inch. I haven't got a chance to get my cuddles. Let me dry my hair first." San threatened. You saluted and laid back down, squeezing Shiber tightly. You were glad you convinced San not to keep Shiber in storage or something.
"Okay, I'm here." You felt the bed dip as San crawled over to you. His arms reached for you to pull you close to him. The first thing he did was shower you in kisses.
"Come here, baby love." He smothered your in kisses, making you squirm and laugh.
"Ack, San!" You laughed as he gave you a final kiss on the lips.
"Sorry for being MIA and coming unannounced, I just needed to get away for a bit... It's only been a few days since she's been back and I already feel like I can't breathe." You sighed into his neck.
"Don't apologise, I'm glad you feel safe and comforted here. And I'm always happy to see you." He grinned.
"She appeared at my parents' place and wanted to stay over. The moment she left, I came straight here." You told him.
"So that's why you've been MIA. Where's her mom and brothers though? Shouldn't she be staying with them? Or even your oldest aunt, she always stays with her right?" San asked.
"Her mom and brothers couldn't care less. Her mother lets her do whatever she wants and her brothers would rather have her out of the house too since she orders them around and rules the house like a queen. And I think she's only staying my oldest aunt's place towards the end of her trip." You explained.
"My poor baby." San pouted.
"I have the first family gathering tomorrow and frankly, I'm so exhausted I don't even want to go..." You blinked.
"Can you not go? There is another gathering before she leaves, right?" San asked.
"No, I have to. The family will rip me to shreds if they found out I skipped a family gathering to stay with my boyfriend. Because family comes first, right?" You rolled your eyes.
"The only one tht doesn't like her is my mother." You chuckled.
"Your mom never puts up with anyone's bullshit so I am not surprised." San chuckled.
"Plus my mom lowkey doesn't like most of my dad's family anyway." You giggled. San laughed, nodding his head. He stroked your cheek with his thumb.
After you fell back asleep, San quietly grabbed his phone, careful not to disturb you. He thought to send your mother a text to let her know that you were with him and to ask if it was okay for you to stay the night with him.
'Also, I am aware that you have a family gathering to attend to tomorrow. I promise to make sure that I will drop her at your place earlier or the gathering's location on time. - San'
'Alright. Thanks for letting her stay with you, San. She's been stressed and I think she needs some comforting. - (y/n)'s mom'
'Thank you for trusting me. I promise to take good care of her. Have a nice evening. - San'
San then called his mother for recipes because he wanted to cook for you. He wasn't a gourmet cook but he could cook simple dishes for you to eat.
"San?" You called out from the room.
"In the kitchen, love!" San replied from his position by the stove. You shuffled out of the room, still holding Shiber.
"Oh my! Omonim, hello. I'm sorry I didn't see you there!" You jumped when you saw his mother on video call. You jumped out of the frame to adjust your crooked shirt and bed hair, as well to put Shiber down. Then you stepped back to properly bow to her. Both her and San were laughed at your funny actions.
"No worries, dear. Hello." She waved. San was still snickering at you so you secretly pinch his waist. He yelped and jumped, turning to glare at you.
"How are you and abonim? I miss Byeol!" You smiled to the camera, taking the phone up.
"Oh, we're doing fine, dear! Don't worry. And I'm sure Byeol misses you a lot too." She giggled, turning the camera to Byeol.
"Hi, Byeol! Such a cutie." You cooed. Byeol let out a loud meow in response, making you laugh. You could hear San's mom laugh on the other end before she turned the camera back to you.
"Ah, which reminds me. Thank you for sending appa the new foot massager! And for the royal jelly you sent me."
"I'm glad you both like it." You giggled, sitting on the couch and pulling your feet up.
"Like it? I can't even get him to get up from the thing... He even wanted to bring it to the dining table to use it while eating." San's mother sighed with a shake of her head. San smiled softly as he overheard your conversation with his mother.
"I didn't know you sent my parents things." San said after you handed his phone back to him once his mother hung up. You shrugged and leaned against the counter.
"Your mom always feeds me delicious food." You scooped the rice, seeing how San was finishing up his cooking.
"Well, thank you for taking such good care of my parents, baby love." He kissed your cheek.
"No need to thank me. I wanted to do it." You giggled. The both of you sat down at the small dining table to eat together, San handed out the cutlery.
It was nice, spending time with San like this. There was something warm about how domestic and homey it felt.
That's why when San drove you to your oldest aunt's place for the gathering the next day, you didn't want to leave the car. To coax you, San offered to walk you right to the doorstep. You pouted like a little child throwing a tantrum but still let San hold your hand to lead you to your aunt's apartment.
"I don't want to gooooooo. I want to stay with you." You whined, stomping your feet. Full disclaimer, you don't usually act like that, only around San.
"I know, baby. But I promised your mom I would send you here." San chuckled, pulling you along.
"You just hate me, don't you? Because if you love me, you wouldn't send me here."
"Ah, baby~ How can you say that?" San sent you a look. He came up to cup your cheeks, planting a kiss on your lips and swiping the slightly smudged lip gloss.
"Do you want me to stay with you then? I don't mind." San smiled.
"No, you should save yourself when you still can." You groaned. San squeezed your hand and walked with you.
"This is it." You stopped in front of the door, voice filled with dread and despair.
"You'll be okay, baby love. You're strong. But if you've had enough and need me to come get you, just say the word, hmm? I'll be here as soon as I can, your knight in shining armor." San engulfed you in a bear hug, planting a kiss on your temple.
"Thank you, Sannie. I don't know what I would do without you." You hugged him tightly. Before you ran the doorbell, you wanted to wait for San to leave first but you ran into your parents.
They were carrying the two desserts you made before going to San's place yesterday. One carrot cake with cream cheese frosting and the other was cookies.
"Omonim, abonim." San bowed respectfully.
"Thanks for dropping her off, San ah. Would you like to stay for some food?" Your father offered.
"Thank you for the offer but maybe next time, abonim. I already have plans with my sister." San lied. He turned to you and you sent him a grateful smile.
"Ah, alright." He nodded. With a final hug and a bow to your parents, San left. Your cousin opened the door.
"I knew I heard talking outside! Why are all of you just standing there and not ringing the doorbell?" She asked when she saw all of you.
"Oh, (y/n)'s boyfriend dropped her off so we were just greeting each other. But he has something to attend to so he couldn't stay." Your dad explained before entering the house to greet your siblings with your mum by his side. After you removed your shoes, your cousin held your arm.
"Hey, you know... I know your dad said your boyfriend had to rush off but he should have at least come in to say hello to everyone and introduce himself." She leaned in to whisper.
"Yeah but this isn't really the time to introduce him to everyone. Maybe next time." You replied.
"Was he in that much of a rush he couldn't say hi? It just gives off the impression that he's unfriendly and it's honestly quite rude, you know?"
"San's not rude, not in the slightest." Now you felt the need to defend your boyfriend because San was not rude and unfriendly.
"Wouldn't know, he didn't even bother to come in." She chuckled and left you to go.
You felt something boil within you, an ugly anger. She could insult you all she wants but mentioning San was going too far. San would give the world to you, he was a nicest person ever. You chewed on your bottom lip, willing yourself to hold back.
"(y/n)! Why are you just standing there? Come on!" Your other cousins call you. Once again, you took a deep breath, swallowing your anger before forcing a smile and going to join them.
"Hey." You greeted them with hugs.
"My sister said your boyfriend came?" The cousin you were closest to, whispered in your ear as he hugged you.
"Yeah. He wanted to come in to say hi but I told him to just go and save himself. Luckily I did or else he would get grilled, I can't risk that." You sighed.
"Good call." He chuckled, patting your shoulder. You giggled and went to greet your other relatives.
"Oh, (y/n). Can you change the hair appointment you booked for me?" Your cousin asked as you were scooping food.
"You can't make it? I made sure to book it on an open slot in your schedule. And my hairstylist is doing me a favour by coming in on her day off to do your hair before you leave..." You sighed.
"I appreciate that but I don't want to have to wake up so early when it's one of my last days off. You booked it too early." She shrugged.
"Yeah, you should just call and change her appointment. You know she doesn't wake up early for these things, if she goes late, it'll be an even bigger waste of your stylist's time." Your oldest aunt voiced out in support of your cousin. You knew your cousin purposely said it out loud in front of the adults.
"Thank you, you can change the appointment to one of the empty slots in the afternoon or evenings then." She smiled and took her food to go back to one of the tables.
"(y/n), when you booked the chinese restaurant brunch, did you preorder the peking duck?" Your oldest aunt checked.
"No, I was just told to book the table for 8 people at 11 am..." You blinked.
"Ah, you should know we always get the peking duck! Better call them to reserve it before it's too late. I only get peking duck when I am back from London." Your cousin pouted.
"I'll get on it..." You said, trying to contain the sourness in your voice. Putting your food plate down, you went to call the restaurant.
When San heard the doorlock beeping, he checked the time on his laptop. He continued typing on his reports, knowing that you knew your way in. And as he expected, you came trudging in, falling face first onto the sofa.
"Hey, baby love. How was the gathering?" He greeted. You mumbled something into the couch, burying your face into the material of his sofa. San chuckled, putting his laptop and coming to you.
"I didn't hear a single word you just said, my love." San crouched down beside you and stroked the back of your head.
"San..." San didn't expect you to lift your head and to see tears in your eyes.
"Baby! My sweet love, why are you crying? What happened?" San was shocked, he wasn't expecting to see you crying so that sent him into a panic.
"I... I..." You shook your head, feeling like a baby for crying. San hushed you, not wanting to press you for answers.
"It's okay, I've got you." He pulled your leg over his lap so you were straddling him. You clutched onto the material of his shirt like a koala.
"Breathe, my love. Breathe with me. Shh..." His voice was soft as pressed his forehead against yours and purposely breathed loudly so you could follow him.
"It's okay, breathe, baby love. Slow down and take all the time you need." He whispered softly, rubbing your back. You nodded your head in agreement, you did need a minute, a minute to breathe and soak in San's comforting warmth. San was patient, quietly comforting you until your sobs turned to soft whimpers.
"There we go. Good girl. It's going to be okay. Just keep breathing." He kept his eyes trained on you.
"Thank you, San..." You murmured. San guessed that nothing particularly bad happened. You were probably just so frustrated, and mentally and physically exhausted.
"Nothing for you to thank me for. I hate seeing you cry, love." He grasped your hand, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.
"I know it's tiring. I'm sorry I can't make it any better." He whispered.
"No, you make it better by being San." You pulled away to meet his eyes, cupping his face in your hands. You were so grateful for San being the most amazing person in the world.
"Cute. I'm glad me being San makes you feel better." He chuckled, holding your hand to kiss your fingertips.
"It's not easy being a San." You played along.
"It's all worth it for you. When it's for you, it's never tiring or difficult." San reached up to wipe the last tears off your cheeks. You hugged him again, feeling his arms securely wrap around your waist.
"Do you know she reached over and took food off my plate? Saying that she's deprieved in London so she never gets to eat such nice food. Then she was being annoying by trying to 'convince' me to give my entire share since she deserves it more?" You complained to San.
"In the end, she used her fingers to take bites of my food!" You sighed, shaking your head.
"At that point, I'd rather give her my food. I don't want to know if she's washed her hands. Couldn't she have just taken her own portion and be happy with it?" San sighed, rubbing your arm.
"Apparently not. She kept all this food for herself, saying she'll eat it later so others won't take it and guess what happened?" You asked.
"She didn't even finish it?" San guessed.
"Exactly! First she stops us from eating then after that, says it's too much and she'll feel sick if she eats it. She'd rather THROW IT AWAY!" You exclaimed.
"That's horrible." San frowned. If San was there, he would be frustrated and annoyed too.
"My aunt bought this really fancy, nice ice cream for all of us to share. My cousin took my portion without asking me! She said I could have it again another time but she can't. And by the way, that was her THIRD share. So I didn't have any... It's not even that I wanted the ice cream that badly, it's more... her!" You groaned.
"I know, baby love. I can't believe you two are from the same family when you're so different." San said, leaning his head on his hand.
"She's so different from the rest of the cousins..." You threw your head back.
"I know you said it wasn't about the ice cream but do you want some? I stopped by the store on my way back and stocked up the freezer with your favourite." San offered.
"Why are you so perfect, Choi San?" You whined.
"Far from but I'm glad you see me as such." He kissed the top of your head. You went to the kitchen to grab the ice cream and two spoons.
"No, you eat it, baby." San shook his head when you held the spoon out to him.
"The best part about ice cream is sharing it so take the spoon." You insisted, taking a seat beside him. San peeled open the lid for you to dig in. You leaned against his arm, the both of you taking turns to scoop out of the tub to eat.
"Do you want a blanket?" San asked.
"No, I just want to stay like this... With you... I don't want anything else." You said with a shake of your head. You were just happy in San's presence, he was all you needed.
"Just one more week before she goes back, one more week with one more gathering and it'll be over." You sighed.
"You can do it." San chuckled. When the ice cream was done, San threw the empty tub while you washed the used spoons.
"Go shower and come to bed, hmm? I'll wait for you." San squeezed your hip. You nodded with a hum, feeling slightly sticky on your cheeks from crying previously.
-
The last big, family gathering was at your house. You barely slept the night before because you were stressed. While you baked the desserts in the middle of the night, you were talking to San on video call. You felt bad for making him stay up with you but he was gaming on the side.
"Hello! Welcome." You heard your parents greet the family members that came. You were still setting up the food table, getting everything that you would need.
"Wait, you're wearing that when you have guests in the house?" Your cousin came up to you.
"No, I just haven't got the time to change since I was helping my mother set up." You replied with a soft sigh.
"Well, now that guests are here. You should change. You shouldn't welcome them in home clothes." She raised an eyebrow. You pursed your lips and placed the napkins on the stand.
"Honey! Go change. We can handle the rest, thank you." Your mother came.
"Sure, mom." You nodded with a tight smile and went to take a quick shower to wash the sweat off you.
'She just arrived and she's already giving me grief... - (y/n)'
After sending San a text, you threw your phone aside and took out clothes to change in. You stood by your dresser to dry your hair a little, not wanting to get told off by your relatives by going around with wet hair.
"Oh, welcome! So glad you could make it!" There was a loud commotion outside, you mainly heard your mother exclaim. Putting your hair dryer down, you went outside.
"Thank you for having me." The latest guest said, handing your mother a bouquet of flowers and your father, a bottle of wine.
"What..." You stood there, frozen and dumbfounded.
"(y/n), you didn't tell me your boyfriend was coming!" Your relatives all looked fondly at you and San as he respectfully bowed to greet all of them, shaking their hands too.
"Uhhh, yeah I didn't know too..." You said, frowning slightly hoping you were not dreaming.
"It was my idea to surprise you with San." Your mother giggled.
"Yes, it was all her idea." San, handsomely dressed in a shirt and dress pants, wrapped an arm around your waist, nodding his head.
"Hey." He smiled to you. You smiled back, still kind of surprised by his sudden appearance. But you took a deep breath, San being here shouldn't make you scared, it should make you feel more relaxed and comforted. You were still worried that your extended family will be too hard on him.
"Wait a minute, come here for a bit?" You asked softly. San nodded, following you to your room.
"Baby love, I'm sorry, I know you said-" San was cut off by you throwing your arms around him to hug him tightly. His hands went to hold your hips.
"I'm hoping this hug means you aren't angry?" He chuckled.
"Not at all. Surprised, yes. But angry? No. I know your intentions are good." You smiled softly, pulling away to give him a peck.
"Of course. I'm here with you." He placed kisses along your jaw, making you giggle at how ticklish it was. After that, you both went out, not wanting to stay in your room for too long.
"Let me help you, omonim!" San squeezed your hand and left your side to go your mother in the kitchen.
"Ah, San, go get food and eat. You're a guest." Your mother chuckled, shooing him out.
"You should eat! You and (y/n) have been busy preparing the whole morning, I'm sure you guys didn't get to eat breakfast. Come, I'll take over." San insisted on doing the dishes. Your mother gave up, going to join your father at the food table.
"You wash, I'll dry." You grabbed the dish cloth.
"Baby, I want you to eating something or at least, sit down to rest. You didn't even sleep last night..." San frowned.
"With you, I don't feel tired at all. And we can eat together later." You shook your head. San sighed in defeat, reaching over to knock his head against yours since his hands were soapy.
You weren't done with the dishes but your mother and father came to chase you and San out.
"I guess we should eat." You shrugged. Sticking by San seemed to save you from your cousin and save San from your relatives.
"You want this?" San asked, holding your plate for you. He held both your plates and patiently followed you while you scooped the dishes for both of you.
"No~ No vegetables." San held his plate away when you tried to put spinach salad.
"(y/n), don't be mean to him." Your mother chided. You shot her a look of betrayal while San smirked proudly. With enough food on your plates, you went to sit down with your other cousins. They were nice, making an effort to get to know San and including him in the general conversations like he was part of the family.
"Here." San removed the bones from the galbi and placed it on your plate for you, taking the other pieces that still had bones in them off your plate.
"Thanks." You smiled. Shifting your eyes, you saw the judgemental stares from your spoiled cousin.
"San, would you like a glass of wine?" Your father offered.
"No, thank you. I have to drive later. Do you want a glass?" San turned to you. You nodded and San stepped up, respectfully receiving your glass from your father with a slight bow.
San got along well with your relatives and cousins. You could leave him alone and he would be fine.
"I'm going to the bathroom." You stood up. San held your plate for you while he conversed with your uncle and cousin.
"(y/n), why did you bring your boyfriend to the gathering?" Your cousin stopped you in the hallway just as you were exiting the bathroom. You took a slight step back, suddenly feeling how menacing her presence was.
"I didn't bring him, not planned to at least. You heard it earlier, my mother surprised me by inviting him and my father wanted to introduce him to the family." You spoke calmly.
"Do you know how humiliating and unfair it is with you parading him around in front of me?" She crossed her arms.
"What do you mean? What does San being friendly and nice have to do with you?" You frowned.
"You saw how interrogative they were with my boyfriend, they treated him so much like an outsider. It's unfair that they warmly welcome yours." She scoffed.
"Shouldn't you be finding issues with your boyfriend rather than issues with mine? It's not San's fault that he's better." You glared.
"How can you say that?" She gasped, obviously feeling the shock of someone speaking to her that way.
"Your boyfriend came in, dressed like a slop! He didn't bother to say hi and introduce himself, he just helped himself to the food and didn't bother to offer anyone help with anything. So those issues lie with your boyfriend, they have NOTHING to do with mine." You clenched your fist by your side.
"You-" She took a step forward.
"Hey, baby love. I was looking for- Is everything okay?" San came, a slight frown on his face when he realised it was you and your cousin, the tension in the air heavy and thick.
"I don't know, is it?" You raised your eyebrows at your cousin, making San glance at her as he slotted himself between you and her.
"No offence but this is a family issue, San sshi." Your cousin said with spite. You rolled your eyes.
"I am aware, I just want to try my best to protect (y/n) from anything that may upset her." San smiled. He didn't wait for her to react, or he didn't care.
"Let's go, your food's getting cold." He patted your head. You nodded and walked back out with him.
"Sit here." San naturally brought you to the balcony to sit with him on the bench for some privacy, bringing your plate and wine glass with him. The way he did it, no one paid any mind. He disappeared for a bit and came back with a throw blanket from your room.
"Thanks, San. I'm fine. Really, and this time I mean it when I'm fine." You chuckled as he draped the blanket over your lap so you wouldn't be cold.
"What happened?" He asked softly.
"Blaming you for things that have nothing to do with you. You know that I would take any insult but when it comes to you..." You sighed.
"My hero." San cooed teasingly, scratching your chin like you were a cat. You knew he did that because you always did that to him, comparing his likeness to that of a cat.
"You're always protecting me and being my rock. I can protect you too." You cleared your throat.
"Thank you, baby love. You're so cute. But you know I don't care what anyone else thinks. All that matters to me, is what you think."
"Well, I already think you're the most amazing person in the world and that I don't deserve you-" San stopped you by putting his hand over your mouth.
"There you go again, sprouting nonsense." He pouted with a frown. You laughed and held your hands up in defeat, stabbing a piece of meat to eat. San looked at you with pride and happiness, as if you were his whole world. And if you ask him, he'll probably say that you ARE his whole world.
"Shall I get you a refill of wine?" He offered, gesturing to your empty wine glass.
"No, it's okay, just stay here with me?" You asked.
"Of course, as long as you need." He smiled softly, letting you lean your head on his shoulder. Lacing fingers with you, he brought your hand up to kiss the back of it.
You were wrong, there was nothing for you to be scared of, bringing San to a family gathering.
It didn't bring you more stress and anxiety like you thought it would. Instead it made you feel reassured and comforted having him around, the same feeling San always gives you.
Your crazy, chaotic family didn't chase him away. They welcomed and accepted him, seeing him the same way that you do.
"I'm grateful I have you with me, Sannie. Not just here and now... but always." You squeezed his hand.
"I'm glad you feel that way because I'm not letting you go that easily. Plus, I think I can safely say most of your family loves me. Including your dad! He wanted me to drink wine with him and told me I could stay the night if I need to." He grinned proudly.
"Wow, that's really progress. Coming from my dad. I thought it would take a while more for him to be friendlier with you." You chuckled.
"He's just protective of his daughter like any father is. I would be too if my daughter was like you." He said. You rolled your eyes and snorted at his cheesiness.
"And this is a warning, I will be protective of our daughter. I'm serious." He said seriously.
"W-What are you saying now?" You grew flustered at his words and punched his arm, fanning your face. But deep down, you knew you would want nothing more than to have a future with San.
~
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bagopucks · 4 days ago
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J. Hughes - Joe Cool
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Jack Hughes x Reader
Word Count: 2.7k
Warning(s): fighting, brief mention of physical abuse, aggressive cussing, angst
The comeback fic long as fuck so I’m not proofreading more than once :)
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Halloween was my favorite holiday. A time for spooky movies and fall decor. Fun candies and dressing up to party. Nothing was better, especially when the leaves began to change and fall from the trees. And in New Jersey, it was one of the most beautiful times of the year. At least I thought.
The leaves bad barely begun to change before I could feel my season turning sour. Will, my boyfriend, had never been a great guy, but the last slivers of hope I’d been clinging to were beginning to slip from my hands. He insulted me in front of his friends, called me names, grabbed me too hard. I kept telling myself it was just the way he was. That we played hard. That he’d learned it from his father. He just needed time to fix himself. But the longer I stayed the worse it got.
Our last argument was over Halloween costumes. I’d given him weeks, and countless ideas to choose from. I couldn’t say why it was the straw that broke the camels back, but when he kept saying nothing sounded good, I had finally lost it. We fought long and hard the night we broke up, before I had finally kicked him out of my apartment. Will was an awful human anyhow. My best friend had always told me as much. I just never listened.
Weeks passed, and I kept myself distracted with the friends I had close. A few of my girls came over, as well as Jack, from time to time. Well… especially Jack.
“So, I know it’s still a little early and stuff but..” Jack paused as he picked up a slice of pizza and set it on his plate, swiftly returning to my living room. “You plan on going out for Halloween?”
I shrugged at the question.
“All my girl friends already coordinated their costumes. I don’t wanna fifth wheel any of them.” I really wasn’t too worried. The breakup had killed my excitement for the holiday anyhow. I waited for Jack to sit before I stretched my legs across his lap. “What are you going as?”
“Haven’t decided. I was gonna go with Luke but he got sick so.. I’m solo this year.” A soft chuckle fell from the boy’s lips. “And Nico is doing some weird thing with Timo.”
“Poor Jackie,” I teased, earning a playfully scolding look from him. We’d put on some Disney Halloween movie, but neither of us had paid much attention to it. We sat in silence for a moment before Jack looked up from his plate, watching me.
“You know Nico said you could come to the Devils party.” He offered.
“Jack-“
“The girls miss you. They haven’t seen you since you got with that Asshole. And I miss partying with you too.” The mention of Will made my eyes fall back to my plate.
“I don’t have anyone to dress up with.” I gasped as Jack pinched my ankle in response. I leaned forward and swatted at him in retaliation.
“Me!” He shouted through laughter, trying to shield himself. Once his words registered, I relaxed. “Me! You can dress up with me.” His concerned expression shifted into peace once he realized I was done attacking him.
“I don’t know.”
“Look, you don’t have to go, but I’d love to see you there. Everyone would.”
I sat in silence and mulled over the idea. What if it was too early? What if I ended up crying halfway through the night? How would I find a costume?
“Jack.. what would we even go as?”
“Easy.” His quick response surprised me. “Your favorite Halloween movie.”
“Huh?”
“Snoopy and Woodstock.” He spoke as if it was obvious. “Charlie brown?” I felt guilty about how quickly my eyes lit up. Like I wasn’t even grieving the loss of a dear lover.
“I have always wanted to do that.”
“I know.” Jack knew. Of course he did. He always did.
“God. I should have dated you instead.” The words slipped from my mouth as a joke, and my eyes fell back to my plate, completely missing the sad look in Jack’s eyes. I took a small bite of pizza, still considering the idea. “If I did go, I’d get to be Woodstock.” I laid out my only condition, half expecting Jack to say no. As if he was anything like my ex.
“I like snoopy.” His easy agreement took me by shock once again.
“You’d really let me be Woodstock?”
“Yes, of course.” Jack smiled. “You’ve got me all excited now, which means you have to go.”
“Okay, but-“
“Nope. You’re going.”
And just like that it was decided.
——
Jesper’s girlfriend had joined me in my apartment to get ready for the party. She was busy doing her makeup to be Jewel from Rio, while I dusted on a light layer of yellow eyeshadow with some bright blush. We’d had a bottle of wine open somewhere, though I couldn’t remember where we left it. Our glasses were more than full, and our hearts were just the same.
“The boys will be here soon. Are you ready to get dressed?” Nicole questioned as she dug through her various lipstick options.
“Yeah. I’ll run into my room and do that now.”
Over the week, I’d gone shopping different times to find the perfect Woodstock outfit. Jack and I had agreed to surprise one another, which only added to the excitement of actually going out. I shut my bedroom door the minute I was inside, rushing to my dresser to pull out the pieces of the costume I had laid out the night before. A yellow body suit, and a matching yellow mini skirt with layers of frills. I had bought a pair of yellow socks as well. I had never imagined myself wearing so much of the color, but once I got the outfit on and peeked in the mirror, I had to admit, I looked cute.
I rummaged through my room to find my white converses, sliding them on and grabbing a pair of sunglasses and the yellow boa I’d bought. It was a simple look, but it worked well. I performed any small adjustments on my hair in the mirror before stepping out. Nicole had already been dressed, though she wore a robe to get ready considering there wasn’t much to her outfit. Not that I blamed her. Jesper would be drooling all night, and that’s exactly what she was going for.
“Nikky!” I called as I walked down the hall into the living room. The woman quickly emerged from the kitchen, the half empty bottle of wine in her hands.
“Oh. My. God.” Her lazy grin turned into a wide smile. “You’re adorable! Jack is gonna love this!”
“Yeah?” Her reaction fueled my confidence. “You think so?”
“I know so.” She took a swig from the bottle before placing it on the coffee table. She walked over to ruffle the boa around my neck, laughing.
“Birds of a feather we must be.” She smirked at her own joke, plucking a yellow feather from my boa and a blue one from her own costume. She laid them on the table together. “A keepsake. It’s cute.” I had to agree, it was. Our phones both went off within moments of each other. Our cue to get moving. I sat on the couch to lace my shoes while Nicole ran off to find her own. We met in the kitchen to take a quick shot before rushing out the door and out of the apartment.
When we got to the car, I found Jack standing outside with a wide grin. And I must admit, his costume brought a grin to my lips as well. Big black puppy ears hung from either side of his head, connected by a small headband barely noticeable through his thick ruffles of hair. He wore a white t-shirt with a little red choker as a collar. And someone, god knows who, had drawn the black nose on for him.
“You look- adorable.” I couldn’t help but reach out for a hug. Jack met me halfway, wrapping his arms tightly around my midsection and resting his chin on my shoulder.
“Thanks. Nico’s girl helped me.” Jack giggled, holding on for a second longer than anticipated. When we parted, I couldn’t help but stare. He was so cute like this.
“Come on! In the car!” Nicole opened the passenger side door, climbing in the front with Jesper.
Jack was kind enough to open the back door for me, allowing me to climb in before he did.
“Someone smells like alcohol.” Jesper commented as Nicole shut the door. She and I laughed softly.
“Nothing wrong with a little pregame.” Nicole reasoned. “Now step on it sexy.”
——
When we arrived, my nerves went through the roof. I had sobered up fairly quickly. I hadn’t seen the Devils or any of the girls in so long. I didn’t know where to start conversation, or how to even fill anyone in. But when I stepped out of the car, Jack grabbed my hand, and every single worry flew out the window.
“Everyone is gonna be so excited.” Those were the last words I remember before we walked around the house into the back yard. Then it became a blur for a while. People asked how I was, what I was up to these days, where I had been. It was all a lot. So much so that I’d felt myself slip into autopilot at some point. Though I quickly fell out of it when the excitement of my arrival calmed down and I was able to join Jack at the pong table.
“Snoopy!” I heard the familiar voice of Nico call, both Jack and I turning for only a moment to see the Swiss man approaching. Drunk off his ass.
“Hey, Nico!” Jack had been fairly tipsy as well. Hell, we all were. The only difference was Jack and I could keep our clothes on when we had alcohol in our systems. The same couldn’t be said for Nico or Timo.
After much consideration, Jack and I had agreed that we were certain they’d gone as dumb and dumber. It was only hard to tell because all they had on were the blue and orange pants. All of their other clothes were missing.
“Timo and I play you next!” Nico called, earning a nod from Jack.
The music was loud, and people were yelling louder. A never ending issue of noise. Couples ran in and out of the house, some were in the pool, others at the small homemade bar, and others around the food table. But Jack and I hadn’t moved from the pong table in around 15 minutes. We were the best. We had been since high school.
“You know you look really good tonight?” I called toward Jack, fishing a ping pong ball out of a solo cup.
“Huh? Oh! Thanks! You look pretty too!” We went silent.
“Pretty?” I asked.
“Of course, beautiful.” Jack downed the shot from the cup I’d taken the ball from. I stared at him, surprised. Shocked?
“You don’t mean that.” I brushed the comment off nonchalantly, though Jack quickly looked at me and smirked.
“Yes I do. Of course I do.”
“Jack, stop.” I shook my head, trying to act dumb. Trying to ignore how my heart fluttered. As if I hadn’t crushed on him since high school.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized, seeming to realize finally what he was saying. After the exchange, I threw the game, and Nico threw a fit because now he wouldn’t get to play Snoopy.
I was quick to step back from the table, announcing my need for water before I rushed toward the back door to the house. Compared to the coldness of the night air, the indoors was much warmer. As I shut the door behind myself, I let out a soft sigh, hearing voices in the living room. The girls.
I followed the sounds right to the culprits, all curled up with pillows and blankets in a circle on the floor, chatting their lives away.
“Everything okay?” Timo’s girlfriend questioned. Did I still look distressed?
“I’m alright. Just.. Jack-“ I paused. They didn’t need to know. And yet somehow the looks on each of their faces said they already did.
“Sit down. It’s chaotic outside.” Timo’s girlfriend opened a spot on the floor for me, and I made myself at home in the safety of the women.
“It’s still early.” Nicole commented. “Jack just doesn’t get that.”
“What?” I asked, incredulous.
“Nico tells me.” Anna, Nico’s girlfriend spoke up. “Jack just doesn’t wanna lose his chance that’s all.”
Lose his chance? I felt overwhelmed.
“Just don’t rush into anything you’re not ready for.” Timo’s girlfriend reasoned.
What was happening. I had been staring at the floor so long I didn’t even realize I had a room full of eyes on me. Until I looked up.
“He likes me?” I earned a nod. “And you guys knew?” Another nod.
“He hated seeing how Will treated you.” Anna spoke softly, as if that would ease my stress.
“All this time?” I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth. I needed time to think. To process. To- fuck. Anything. I had waited so long for Jack only to assume he didn’t see me the same way. So I moved on with another man, only to be told he did feel the same.
A knock on the wall brought me from my thoughts. I sat up slightly and spun around only to spot Jack in the doorway. He looked stressed, and his body was swaying back and forth in the slightest.
“Hey can we talk? Upstairs?” Jack’s soft voice broke the silence. I don’t know why but I nodded, stood, and followed him up the steps. Into what I assumed was a guest room. Jack shut the door. “I’m sorry-“
“Why did you wait so fucking long?” I asked, exasperated. My tone caught Jack off guard.
“What?”
“You! You waited!” I raised my voice. “I went through all of that shit because of you!” I didn’t want to be angry. Why was I angry?
I stopped in my tracks the moment I saw the look in Jack’s eyes. Hurt. Betrayal. Shock. Then it fueled my anger, my bitterness.
“That’s not my fault..” his soft voice pushed out.
“If you would have said something I would have fucking dated you! Instead of fucking around with that asshole!” I snapped. “God damnit! Why didn’t you say anything?”
“That’s not my fault and you know it! What the fuck is wrong with you? I was there for you through everything! Every time he yelled at you and called you names! When he didn’t come home some nights or when you needed a place to stay!” Jack raised his voice, “and somehow it’s my fault?! How about it was your bad judgment!”
A mutually hurt silence fell between us. Snoopy wasn’t supposed to yell at Woodstock. They were best friends. But Woodstock had never blamed Snoopy for his hardships and suffering. I felt every emotion in my system come crashing down to sadness. Heartbreak. My body seized up, muscles so tense my arms went numb. My eyes turned glassy and I drew my lip so hard between my teeth that I tasted blood.
“Jack,” his name came out in a whisper.
“No. Fuck it. No. You said what you said. If that’s how you feel then forget it.” Jack took a backwards step toward the door. “Go home.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I ever did shit for you.” He swung the door open, almost running face first into Nicole, giving her a sideways glance before he stormed off down the steps. The tension in my body released in that very moment, my shoulders falling with a broken sob.
What had I done?
✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾
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strlvvr · 7 months ago
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my best friends brother (is the one for me) - part four
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ahhh finally i finished part four. this was so hard for no reason
read part three here!
word count: 1014 words
warnings: slight angst?
⋆。˚ ⋆。˚ ⋆。˚ ୭ৎ ⋆。˚ ⋆。˚ ⋆。˚
i looked up from my phone when i heard knocking on my front door. i paused my movie and got up, knowing exactly who was at the door. i walked down my stairs and opened the door, seeing matt already biting his nails.
“why weren’t you answering your phone?” he said, relieved to see me in one piece.
“i didn’t feel like it.” i said, turning around and walking back into my house, knowing he was going to invite himself in no matter what.
“y/n please. what is going on? you’ve been off all day.” he pleaded with me, following me into my kitchen.
“i’ve been off? what about you and how you’ve been acting since nick walked into your room this morning?” i retort, starting to get angry with him. he’s done nothing but ignore me all day, only taking time to say something to me when it’s convenient for him. on his terms. 
“y/n..” matt pleaded.
“no i don’t wanna hear it,” i snapped, “you do this every time something between us ever happens and i’m sick of it.”
“i’m sorry, okay?” he yelled, throwing his hands up and into his hair. 
“for what? for ignoring me all day or acting like you like me?” i yelled back, immediately turning around so he couldn’t see the tears forming in my eyes. 
he stayed quiet, and when i turned to look at him, he was on his way out the door. 
once the door closed behind him, i sighed, unable to stop the tears falling. i shouldn’t have let myself believe that he could ever want me. 
i collected myself and went back to my room, hoping that watching my movie would take my mind off what had just happened. i grabbed my phone, going into matt’s contact. i stared at it, debating on texting or calling him. after a while, i threw my phone across my bed, paying attention to the movie playing. i ended up falling asleep half way through it.
i woke up to my phone ringing. i ignored it, thinking it was matt calling me. it rang again and i picked it up, seeing it was nick calling me. 
“hello?” i answered, still half asleep.
“do you have any idea why matt is all pissy?” nick asked immediately.
“i don’t know, he came over ‘cause i wasn’t getting his calls since my phone died on my way home,” i lied, hoping he wouldn’t see through it, “he seemed pissy when he got here though.”
nick groaned before replying, “we were supposed to film a wednesday video but he hasn’t come out of his room and is ignoring me and chris.”
i felt bad, knowing this was partially my fault. “i don’t know, i’m sorry.” i said, grabbing my remote and turning off my tv.
“no it’s fine, i was just wondering if you knew anything.” nick said before saying goodbye and hanging up.
i stared at my ceiling, wondering what was wrong with him. i couldn’t stop my mind from telling me that maybe he does have some sort of feelings for me. 
i grabbed my phone and started drafting a text to matt.
‘can we talk? i’m sorry’ i stared at the text, debating on sending it or not. my thumb hovered over send before deleting the message. i threw my phone down and decided to go grab some food. 
i open my fridge, finding some grapes i had just bought and put some in a bowl. i walked over to the couch and sat down, thinking about the conversation between me and matt. i regretted what i said, overthinking it way too much. 
what if what i said made him think i had feelings for him? i thought about what nick said about matt. what if he felt the same? 
i saw a car, similar to matt’s, outside my house. it couldn’t be his, especially not with the way we left things. 
i heard a knock on my door. i got up, my heart racing as i go answer the door.
“look i don’t want to leave things how we did, and again you aren’t answering you’re phone. god why can’t you just answer your damn phone,” matt pushes through me, clearly out of breath.
“my phone is in my room..” i trailed off, letting him continue his rant. i followed him into my room, he grabbed my phone and handed it to me.
“i’ve texted you about fifteen times, called you three times. you worry me,” he looked at me softly, “please. just keep your phone with you.”
“i’m sorry.” i mumbled, grabbing my phone and looking down at all the notifications from matt. i couldn’t understand why he seemed to care so much, considering just that morning he was ignoring me.
“it’s okay, just- i don’t know” he shook his head, turning to leave.
“wait, why don’t you stay?” i asked him, wanting to hang out with him.
“yeah?” he chuckled, clearly seeing how much i wanted to be in his company.
i walked to my kitchen, grabbing drinks for us out of the fridge. i heard him behind me and before he could get too close, i turned around reaching one of the waters i grabbed towards him. as much as i wanted a repeat of last night, i couldn’t let it happen. if it was going to end even slightly close to that, i’d rather walk into oncoming traffic. 
we made our way to my living room, getting comfy on my couch. i felt matt try to get closer, i inched away slightly, not wanting to let myself get close to him again. he moved back to his original seat, not wanting to push anything.
“are we gonna watch anything?” matt asked, looking over at me.
“i mean what else do we ever do,” i grabbed the remote, turning the tv in and going into netflix.
i put on some comedy show, one of matt’s favorites. i grabbed my phone and text nick, letting him know matt was at my house.
tag list
@beersangel @whoseyouare @wh0schl0 @st7rnioioss @slutsformatt @h3arts4harry @matthewscherrypie @satvisfavetoodles @secret-sturniolo @mattsturniololoverr @blablablabla2525 @melanch0lybby @always-reading @bbernard-03 @matthewsturniolosgirlfriend101 @sleepysturnss @edgemaster696 @strnilolo @engene28 @mattspolitank @ribread03 @veysxrge @bernardsgf @syn-wr1tes @realuvrrr @sturniolo0ntop @chrisstopherfilmed2 @sturniol0s @pinklittleflower @sturniluvr
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pixiecaps · 5 months ago
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Mousey: Listen, okay? Don’t tell him I said any of this shit, okay? I’m really proud of him. I’m extremely proud of Connor. When we did our interview, you guys won’t see this because of course it gets cut, you know, shit gets edited. And shit gets cut out but… I- I cried to him and I told him that- How appreciative I was of him because, you know, I would have never guessed that like when we met three years ago, almost four years ago, that we would be at this point. That we would be doing stuff like this together. And we would be, you know, raising awareness, changing people’s lives, helping people. It’s just- I’m just so grateful for his friendship. So grateful that he’s apart of my life because, you know, (Silence) I just am. I’m- I’m. I just am. He’s been there for me like no one else has been there for me and, um, it’s crazy for me to think that like we’re doing stuff like this and it’s like- I would have never thought that the day that we met and we just started talking-
You know, I remember when we first started talking I was like really.. scared to tell him that I was sick. And the only reason why like I told him was because I had to. Because he kept bringing up like going to hangout and like, you know, asking me to come like (to) Japan and like chill and like, you know, recommend places and stuff like that. And I just- I don’t know. Something in me told me to tell him. And I was really scared because I don’t like telling people because I feel like I’m just going to get treated differently or people are just going to get weirded out or grossed out or- And not want to talk to me. So, I was just like, you know what? I’m just going to tell him and if he stops talking to me after that then he stops talking to me after that! And you know, if we just- if we just like talk like “Hi Bye” friends then that’s fine with me. It’s- It’s fine, you know? But that was not what happened. I told him how shocked I was cause when I told him about it, it was the exact opposite of what I thought was going to happen. I- He.
I was just taken aback that he like genuinely showed concern. He wanted to know more about my condition, he wanted to know more about what was going on and he asked so many questions and he wasn’t like dismissive. Or he wasn’t like, “Oh well damn. That sucks bro.” Cause normally you would tell somebody and they’d be like, “Damn that’s crazy. That sucks. Sorry.” You know what I mean? Like usually people are just like, “Oh my god that’s terrible.” And then you move on. And then it’s just like, “Sorry about that. Sorry if that’s going on with you.” You know? But with him it was like, you know, he wanted to know everything. He wanted to learn more about everything that was going on and he was genuinely interested, genuinely concerned, genuinely just wanted to know more about me. And I was.. shocked. Shocked that that was happening. And um. You know. We’ve been besties ever since and it’s just.. crazy to think. (Sniffles)
He’s a good guy. Genuinely. Genuinely good guy. (Voice breaks and sniffles more) And uh. I just uh. I’m just very grateful to him that he, you know, he cares about all this stuff and not once did he ever like feel weirded out or disgusted, you know? Judgmental. So. (Sniffles) You know. It was- It was- It’s crazy. It was like one of the first moments of my life where I just felt like I could be myself and I didn’t have to pretend or hide. And… and it’s been like that ever since and it’s just really nice that he genuinely cares about this cause and he genuinely cares about helping other people like me. So I- I am just very thankful. I’m already crying (Laughs)
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somesaintiam · 4 months ago
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bro as someone who used to ship milkvan i can literally say that yes the duffers literally DO want you to be sick of milkvans relationship and that becomes clear in s4. i had a bias bc i never thought such a big show would make a queer ship, byler, happen, but here we are. About milkvan again, i remember literally trying to convince myself that they were cute in s3 and 4, and remembering being confused that mike wouldnt go after eleven after she dumped him in s3. In s4, i was pretty much sick of them, but was still rooting for them. With their ily fight in s4 i was like "mike say ily to her please!!" but guess what. he never did. At that point i was done with them. I didnt really think about their relationship for like the rest of the season and the ily monologue was just sad. I dont really remember what my reaction was but I definitely felt bad for will. And something was off about that monologue. It was my first watch and i never thought to look into it more at the time. But if the duffers didnt want you to be sick of milkvan then why do they always have these annoying conflicts that take forever to get solved or never get solved, and during these conflicts, mike and el dont understand eachother?? But guess which people, in conflicts do still understand eachother? lucas and max, hopper and joyce, nancy and johnathan, most likely at this point vickie and robin, and mike and will. Those are the 5 endgame couples, if it wasnt already clear from the end scene of s4. Im so glad i watched a byler analysis video because now i actually know SO much more about not just byler and milkvan, but the show as a whole.
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sukunas-wife · 11 months ago
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Sealed Pt. 5
first try 😎 (5th really)
1 / 2 / 3 / 4
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It didn’t take long to buy what you needed, but your funds were running low. Which led you to believe it was a good time to return to the temple you had opened, immediately after opening the doors there was a line of women and children. It didn’t take long as you started to go through them all, “blessing” pregnant women and healing sick children. Grateful women who couldn’t bear children or didn’t want to lose their children were more than willing to pay any price for healing. You’d been there almost all night when you felt an all too familiar presence. Your back was to the door but you turned looking over your shoulder. There he stood, tall, pale, long black hair and black robes. You turned completely to face him, “You must be Lady Y/n of the Shrine, I’ve heard so many stories of how you… help people, I’m curious of how you do it.”
Kenjaku, those stitches on his forehead would give him away easily to anyone who had common sense. “Sorry men aren’t allowed in the Shrine, with the exception of my husband and son.”
“You have a husband and son?” His face was smiling in disbelief, you didn't trust him even if he and Sukuna had chatted more than a few times he always left an uneasy feeling in your stomach. “Yes but that’s not important , so tell me why you’re really here. I get the feeling you're not leaving so easy.” He hummed, shrugging his shoulders, “I came looking for something. You have it and I might need it. So one sorcerer to another we both know what you have that’s helping you so much, it was awakened when Ryomen Sukuna was reincarnated. Do you know who that is or did you stumble across this little artefact and decide to keep it for yourself.” You watched his hand move from his sleeve holding up one of Sukuna’s fingers. Unamused, you looked away, “Sorry to tell you the only thing I see is a rotting dismembered finger, if you're not here to benefit both of us please leave.” You tried to wave him off but persisted in following you, Morí put himself between the both of you so you didn’t bother to look back at him. “I’ll give you one warning, you give me whatever you took and I’ll leave. But if I have to take it myself-“
He was cut off feeling hot liquid run down his face, your hand held up over your shoulder, “This is your warning, there won’t be a next one.” The sound of his skull cap hitting the floor was disturbing, Morí wanted to gag at the sight of the brain exposed. “That was a mistake.” You turned around your robes ruffled noisily “No! You turning your back when RYOMEN WAS BETRAYED WAS A MISTAKE KENJAKU, your damn lucky you have that binding vow and that he never found out the truth you two faced coward, I used to think you changed bodies so frequently because you actually had a plan. It turns out you're just lowly scum and your intentions were never clear, you’re a coward and when things become difficult in one life you’d just pop someone’s else’s skull open and go for a joy ride until it’s all used up.”
You saw those Fox like eyes light up followed by that unhinged smile, “Well if it isn’t Mrs.Ryomen Sukuna, I heard the rumours you escaped the prison realm, I just couldn’t believe it.” You felt your lip twitch like you were going to bare your teeth, “Believe it, I’m free and don’t think I’m here to support your silly little flip flop grill cheese bullshit plan. I’m also not going to join your little club of misfit cursed wombs and deranged psychopaths. I’m here for Ryomen and my son, if you do anything to hurt either of them I swear on your life Kenjaku I’ll be the one pulling you out of that man’s skull and making sure you never find another life. I have my plans already and I don’t need you.” He seemed displeased, “That’s the problem here Y/n, your wedding vows can’t do a thing to break a binding vow.”
You laughed “That’s the thing Kenny, you two made a binding vow, Tyler’s say there’s this cute little red string tying to Ryomen, you can both push and pull in the same direction as long as the rope never breaks. But, what happens if a third party comes in and manages to cut that string.” Your head tilted with a passive smile, “Get out.”
————-
“Alright Mama-dori, it's time for little Itadori to go out on his own on a mission!” Gojo seemed excited about breaking this news to you. You couldn’t have given him a more bewildered look. “What do you mean on a mission?” Mori was by your side taking the cracking tea cup from your hand before it shattered over the tea table. “Think of it as a field mission … erm Lady Y/n.” Your face didn’t change much while you were staring him down, he could swear he’s seen that look before. “Where’s it going to happen…?”
He gave you a mischievous smile, “Well if I told you how do I know you wouldn’t interfere.” “If you didn't, what makes you think I wouldn’t find Yuji on my own.” Your smug smile didn’t go unnoticed. “Good luck finding us then.”
———
It didn’t take long of you spending your day at home lazing about waiting for Yuji to come back, you weren’t held captive in this dingy little house but you started to wonder if this is what Sukuna felt like now that you understood he was trapped inside of Yuji
“Mooriiiiii”….. “hm.” “MoorIIIIIIII” “I’m sorry?” “MORI.” You finally lifted your head from being laid out on the cushions on the floor, Mori sighed with a sympathetic smile, closing the book he constantly kept your records and plans in. “Yes Lady Y/n?” You rolled over laying your head on the pillow not looking at him anymore, “I miss- Yuji? Or is it your husband this time?” You fell silent huffing and burying your face into the pillow “bof” Mori shook his head with a small smile at your muffled speech. “We’ve talked about this Lady Y/n, if you do want both of them back they really do need to know the truth.” You moved around so the side of your face was on the pillow and you could just barely see Mori looking at you from the tea table, “Do you know how difficult it’s going to be to explain to Sukuna he was reincarnated into his son that he now sees he’s being held hostage in?” Mori’s eyes didn’t leave your face as you watched a ladybug crawl past you, “But he recognizes you even without your cursed presence Lady Y/n…”
Finally you sat up looking at him, “Do you wanna know a secret Morinozuka? Something almost no one else knows?” He seemed uneasy at the thought, hesitating as you continued, “I’ll have to kill you if you ever tell anyone else but do you know why I lived so long? Why don't I age? Look at us Morino, you were a child when I found you all those years ago. You’ve grown, look at me, I have the same face and appearance as the day we met.” You held your hand out to him, he took it in his looking over the back of it, he remembered your hands well. When he was a child you gave him that motherly love of wiping away his tears, he’d take your hand whenever he’d get scared walking in public. He watched you fill out every paper, he admired the way you would heal people, but he always noticed how people’s hands changed with their age, but your hands were the same as the day he met you. “You haven’t aged Lady Y/n but I can’t tell why.”
“I’m a curse Mori, there’s a beautiful story behind how I became a curse” he watched how you smiled looking at your hand, he watched a mark form over your finger, “But that’s a story for another time!” You were quick to get up, “Let’s make something to eat. I doubt Gojo’s not going to feed them so we can eat at least.”
It didn’t take long for You and Mori to throw together a hot pot with meatballs. You were serving Mori who insisted he should be serving you, “oh be quiet Mori I didn’t take care of you for years for you to take care of every little thing I do now, now eat.” He huffed and started to eat watching as you started to serve yourself, it was when you were about to eat your own meal Yuji busted into your new home excited to tell you about everything. Mori caught your food as Yuji tackled you in a hug “Mom you should’ve seen us it was so cool we…” he paused looking at the table where you had set up the pot of broth. “Oh you were eating, sorry.” You watched as he smiled sitting back on his heels rubbing the back of his head with a big shy smile. You couldn’t help but smile at him, “cmon sit I’ll serve you some if you want and you can tell us how your… field test went.” He sat cross legged beside you leaning against your shoulder rambling and stuffing his face telling you about the revolving sushi and this Girl Kugisaki he and Fushiguro met. You laughed hearing how he whined that she sighed after just looking at them. You leaned your head on his and he kept talking, you listened to every word until he eventually fell asleep in your lap.
You looked down at him, your sweet boy, until you saw that eye open up, and a mouth form, it was a soft call and out of character, “Y/n.” You looked at him, Ryomen, “Ryo…” you saw the malicious smile on his face “If this brat trusts you so much I think you could do a little talking and get me out of here don’t you?” He watched and you smiled, shaking your head, crinkling your nose, “Reincarnated not too long ago and you're already making bigger plans…” your smile fell “what the hell was that where are the women and children moving about anyways hm?”
He looked away making a “face” “I don’t know what you're talking about woman, must’ve misheard….” “Mhm.” He looked back at you before looking away, “It’s been lonely you know…” you leaned down pressing a kiss to Sukuna’s “cheek”, he didn’t bother trying to fight you, “I know it’s been lonely you’ve been locked up for centuries Ryo.” He hummed, before looking at you upset “What are you doing HERE Y/n! Why would you surround yourself with these sorcerers and this brat? Who is this brat? WHYS HES SLEEPING ON YOUR LAP!?” Yuji stirred and you rubbed his head, you should send him to sleep in his dorm, “Ryomen-“ you gave him a look, he rolled his eye, “as much as you’d hate to hear this, Yuji Itadori is our so- mm, hmm?” Yuji sat up rubbing his eyes, “What time is it?” He yawned and all you saw was Sukuna squinting at Yuji before disappearing.
“It’s 10:40 Yu,” you started to stand up, “You should go sleep in your dorm so Gojo to Fushigumi don’t freak out if you're missing.”
He laughed, “Fushigumi.” He’s gonna love that one.” He stood up from the ground stretching and yawning before he squeezed you in a hug, “Gnight mom I’ll see you tomorrow.”
————-
“Hm, it’s July… I wonder if Yuji will want to go watch the fireworks later this month…” you yawned leaning against the post on the porch of the little home. The afternoon sun shining on your face, eyes closed, head resting back against the post. Ungratefully one leg was propped up the other was swinging off the porch just barely grazing the grass, the vibrant red of your robes shining bright. The shoji doors were open wide with fly nets set up, futons were airing out for when you wanted to laze about on the porch or in the living room on the floor, Morí had gotten tired of watching you throw all the cushions in a pile just to complain when you were on the floor and the cushions wouldn’t stay still. You heard him hum still scribbling away, you looked over picking up the hand fan laying at your side, “This was my wedding fan, did you bring it?” Morí hummed again “you said bring ALL your precious belongings when we first left the temple I assumed since it was wrapped in fine linen and in a red wooden box it was preserved for a reason. Then I saw a painting in your temple and it all made sense, Lady Y/n.” You waved it around unceremoniously watching the little charms sway around, “Lady Y/n… was Ryomen Sukuna really your husband?”
“Is he really my husband" is what you mean, he still is my husband even after all these years being forced apart…” you paused looking down on the school, “…he’s my husband…surprisingly he was different then to now. I still love him regardless, he gave me his heart and I gave him mine, sure the wedding vows today would probably sound occult but I was his he was mine, it took years to be comfortable by his side and then we he’s our first child, Yuj-” Morí watched the panicked look on your face, when you pulled your sleeve up grabbing your arm where your binding vow has marked you. He watched you squeeze the muscle hissing through gritted teeth, “Yuji.” It sounded like a forced grunt. He watched you cough from trying to bear the pain, it stopped and you let go, you were visibly confused “Lady Y/n what- I don’t know” you cut him off, “that’s never happened before.” You watched as the mark became a lighter colour almost blending into your skin then you understood, “I NEED TO FIND YUJI.”
———
“….s..Go..” You couldn’t get the words out, you wanted to scream at Satoru, you wanted everyone to die and it filled the room the moment he didn’t let you enter and you forced your way in to see your son laying on the cold metal bed. He was stripped bare with a gaping hole in his chest, the woman in a lab coat and Gojo watched you walk right past them. You could still feel a faint lingering of Sukuna’s cursed energy. Your hand moved up slowly taking Yuji's. He was so cold. The hand you squeezed as a child, the tiny chubby hands that wiped your tears “It’s okay mommy!” The hands you held onto walking him to school, you shook your head, tears in your eyes, it’s always these damn sorcerers who are so prideful in what they do they try to play heroes and fix the world. Putting the lives of others at expense even if it means they’ll only save one or two people. Your hand trailed up his arm fingertips brushing over where your binding vow was disappearing. “Some proud jujutsu sorcerer you must be.” You could feel Gojo’s stare, having ignored all his rambling but knowing he was upset.
“My son is dead at the expense of what Satoru Gojo?”
Your hair fell over your face when your tears started to fall, ducking your head down feeling like your chest and shoulders were curling in on you. You placed your hand on his chest and it felt like everything changed. You weren’t in that room, you were standing in an all too familiar place.
“Oh,” you felt the heat in your cheeks rising when you heard Ryomen’s voice, “Well if it isn’t my pretty little wife finally coming to visit me hm?” He was behind you, his left arm lazily wrapped around your waist the right around your shoulder so his hand could hold your jaw, he turned your face to look back and up at him. His eyes were lidded and smiled down at you, “Ryomen…” he moved in closer, his lips ghosting over yours, “y/n.” He closed the gap kissing you, he could feel the way you broke out and smiled against his lips, it made him crack his own smile when you tried to hold back your giggles. You were so happy to be able to see him after so long, “Ryo.” You pulled away and he frowned slightly looking at you, “what- LET GO OF HER-“
All you saw was Sukuna grabbing Yuji’s fist and throwing him and sending him flying into the liquid a distance away. “Oh Yuji..”
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a-sock-in-a-sandal · 3 months ago
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What is happening in Czechia right now - heavy rains and floods
So as a Czech citizen I felt like saying something about it here so here you go, it's mostly my experiences and some official data.
For context, the first week of September 2024 (2nd to 8th) in Czechia was a burning hell - the temperatures were around 30°C or even above for the entire week. Some schools even ended their classes earlier because of the hot weather - they usually ended before afternoon when the weather was worst. So when we found out that everything will stop the next week, we got happy. We were told the temperatures are gonna get under 20°C, sometimes above, but usually under, it's gonna rain and it's gonna get windy.
All of it happened. The first few days of this week (plus maybe the weekend of the previous one) were chilly, windy, and cloudy - it did sometimes rain, but usually only for a few hours a day. Sooner it started to rain more, for more hours a day, somewhere even for the entire day.
But then the Czech government scheduled an emergency meeting because they were worried about the rains - and they had a reason to. Such rains could cause major floods that already happened in Czechia twice. So they didn't want to waste any time on preparing.
The weather progressively got worse - in my region, it rained the whole day for like three days and it is still raining now. The wind is strong and cold and the temperatures are very chilly. I live right next to a stream at the lowest part of my village in lowlands and the water has risen a few meters (like 2 or so).
The worst situation is in Moravia, which is where I live, but where I am it is still good, only heavy rains and the water levels rising but not as much as to cause a trouble - however there is a few places in my village where it is completely underwater, but not anyone's house or cellar. But Northern Moravia/Silesia is flooded, especially parts like Jeseníky and Opava. The more it gets on west the better it is, mostly a few regions on the north-west are the safest ones. It is usually the Karlovarský/Ústecký and maybe a piece of Plzeňský kraj that is safe.
Most events got cancelled and/or delayed due to bad weather and flood warnings. However the schools are still opened, and it's kind of a meme between students that "we're gonna kayak into our schools on Monday!" Electricity stopped working at many places, including my village. When I woke up today there were firefighters in my street but nobody knows why but I heard that someone's cellar might be flooded.
Our Czech subreddit r/Czech is "flooded" (I couldn't help myself) with maps of flood situation and tips on what to do in case you have e.g. an animal in floodplains. If you switch on the news channel ČT24, you get 24/7 segments and reports from different parts of Czechia, interviews with meteorologists, politicians talking about it and such. Most channels stream as normal but there are some emergency broadcasts. Social media is filled with it.
However, there is a group of mostly older people who are those old conspirators and are strongly against our government because their favourite politician isn't the prime minister (the situation is more complicated but that's enough for this), and they claim that all this is fake and "it's actually to keep people at home before elections (there are ones to happen soon) so they can't meet and talk about the politics", or that "it's a punishment for sending help to Ukraine" (Czechia has sent a lot of help there and these people are mad for some reason) and such. It makes me sick because some people already died and many are injured and many homes can be destroyed.
Czechia has already had two major floods in the near past - in 1997 there were ones in Prague and in 2002 over the entire Czechia. They were catastrophic, people died and were injured and lost homes. So that's why everyone is scared and the government tries very hard to keep us safe.
I already shared my experience, but I just talked on a group chat with my friends from different villages in my region so here goes what I found:
Electricity is out on most places because it is flooded near some important place for electricity
Plenty of places are flooded with like 10-20 cm water, people can still walk in it and some cars drive in it
A football pitch right next to a stream in my village is completely flooded, only the nets are visible
Plenty of bridges are closed and plenty of them are also underwater
We're debating whether or not our school is gonna be closed since most of us take bus to school and we don't know if it would be able to arrive, plus electricity isn't working in the town where we have school, but we'll still see, we didn't receive any news about the school closing
It's starting to get clear (less cloudy) as I'm typing this but I hope it'll get better, the rain is not as heavy as it was
I just hope it's gonna get better ❤️ I'll update you tomorrow or even today if anything major happens
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thewritetofreespeech · 7 months ago
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Astarion x Reader
words: 1.5K
rating: T
pairing: Ascended!Astarion x Tav
summary: banking off the Jealous!Tav x Astarion ask, I made one for Ascended verse as well.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Astarion let out a deep sigh as he walked through the long corridors of his palace towards his chambers. Who knew being a Vampire Lord would be so taxing?
He thought it would be all blood, japes, and all-consuming-power when he ascended, but noooo. Apparently, all that power did not come with an instantaneous dark underground to control and city at his feet. He had to put in effort. Time. A lot of both, which somedays Astarion thought was just not worth it. But his ambitions would not let him rest on his laurels. Even if he did need a rest for the evening.
The doors let out a heavy echo as they close behind him, and Astarion sighed once more as he undid his overcoat. His attention then turned towards the bed as he saw the bedding move. “Darling?” He questioned curiously but knew it couldn’t be.
Tav was out with Shadowheart. Catching up with their dear friend while she was in the city, for reasons that were probably told to Astarion but he couldn’t be bother to remember since he wasn’t going. For once he let them go unaccompanied but was now hopeful that they came back early over missing him terribly.
“Master?” Astarion’s face paled (metaphorically, as it could not get any paler than it already was) as the sheets pulled back an a young, blonde, naked woman appeared from the covers. “I thought you’d never come back tonight.”
“What are you doing here Azura?” He hissed at his latest spawn. A silly girl who begged him for the gift, and Astarion gave it to her for no other reason than he felt his beloved needed a new chambermaid. “You dare enter my chambers, uninvited, and help yourself to my bed. Have you lost your absolute mind?!”
Astarion wasn’t exactly kind to his spawn, but he wasn’t nearly as cruel as Cazador. Which he knew was a very low bar. He gave them a fine amount of freedom to move about the castle. Updated the dorms so they weren’t as spartan as what he had been forced to endure. Almost never tortured them unless they absolutely needed to be punished. And this is how he was repaid?!
“Yes. I have lost my mind. Lost it for you, my master.” He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Oh Gods, the idiot was in love. He recognized that soft stare and devoted posture. If her, quite literally, naked display wasn’t enough of a clue he could nearly smell the pheromones off her. “I wanted to surprise you. I wanted to please you.”
“You can please me by getting out.” He pointed to the door although he didn’t compel her. He wasn’t sure why. Perhaps he wanted to again be kind and give her the choice. Or just a sick morbid curiosity on how this would play out.
“Leave? You really don’t want me here?” She seemed surprised. Given her beauty this may have been the first time she was rejected, Astarion assumed. It always surprised him when his quarry didn’t take the bait. Perhaps this was a similar feeling for her. “You really don’t want me to stay?”
Azura pulled back the sheets to reveal that she wasn’t truly naked. Just in a thin nightgown that was so transparent it was nearly invisible. Her skin smooth. Her legs long. Her cunt neatly shaved and breast taunt & perky. She’ll lead men to this castle in droves, he thought. Unfortunately, her charms were immune to him.
“Yes. Get out. I won’t repeat myself again.”
The girl jumped off the bed and came closer. Astarion hoped it was for the door, but no such luck. His spawn leaned into him, delicate and wanting. Staring up into his eyes like a lover while he stared back at her with a stern look. “Shouldn’t a master be able to taste what’s his when he likes. Don’t you miss my blood from the first time? Tasting it on your lips?”
He wants to tell her no. That he hasn’t thought about it since that first time. Honestly, he hadn’t thought of her since that first time. But mentions of blood, and the reminder of the power he felt when he took her life and made it his own, does get his own blood to hum.
“You can have it again, if you’d like. Take all of me. A lord, a king, can take anything he wishes. I can be your obedient consort as well. Be one of your most beloved spawn.” As she spoke her body and lips moved closer to him.
“What’s going on here?”
The girl jumped back, quickly. Like she had been licked by fire. Astarion stood still. He hadn’t done anything wrong, technically, so he had no reason to be afraid. Although that cool look in Tav’s eyes was making him seriously question that decision. “I said: what’s going on here?”
“I was….I-I was just….I…”
“You were trying to take my place, eh?” Astarion chuckled at his beloved’s blunt response. Direct and to the point as always.
“Darling, as if she could.” He moved over to Tav. Separating himself completely from his spawn to sooth his consort. “This is just some misplaced adoration of a spawn and their master. Granted we’ve gone a little far…”
“It’s not misplaced! I love you!” There was a growl in Tav’s throat and Astarion huffed at the girl’s childish pleas. He really had been trying to help her here. “I would never leave you alone like they would! I would be loyal to you always! I can be twice the consort they are if you just give me a ch—"
She doesn’t get to finish asking for her chance that would never come. As her head was hanging limp to the side, nearly off her shoulders. Blood gushing from the gaping hole in her throat. Spraying across the room and down her thin negligee. Once translucent material now opaque as it was drenched in crimson. “Well…that was something.”
“It’s not funny Astarion!” Tav yelled at him. Their eyes were wild and angry as they whipped around to glare at him. A powerful shiver running up his spine in the face of that heat.
“Of course it’s funny. All this for something so trivial. As if this scrap of nothing could have replace you. My beloved, perfect consort.” Astarion came close and lifted their bloody hand to kiss it gently. “No one could, would, or ever will replace you, my love. My wicked heart is yours, for all eternity.”
“Why didn’t you tell her that then?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t think it needed to be said.” His poor dead spawn had to know she was taking a long shot when she came here. And if she didn’t then she was too dumb for Astarion to have around anyway. Still, he supposed Tav was right. He could have made more of an effort to stop her. “Still, it is rather cute that you can still get jealous over my affection. It makes me so hot. Watching you fight over me.”
He heard Tav sigh when he kissed by their ear and then jaw. Hearing them mutter, “not much of a fight” which made his cock harden in his breeches.
“Perhaps I should flirt with women and men more often.”
Astarion felt a hard jerk of his own pristine, sharp jaw away from Tav. Their nails digging into the soft skin of his cheek as they stared at them with a blazing hatred he hadn’t seen since the Elder Brain or that disgusting necromancer in the crypt. “Don’t.” A single word. Sharp. Direct.
He doesn’t like to be told ‘no’ often these days. He’s killed men for less presses against his authority. But that sharp look, one that promised his beloved would leave a trail of bodies like rose petals at his feet if he even pretended to be interested in them, made his blood boil with desire. It’s a beat in his heart that echoes his own. The agonies he would face on men who even stared at his beloved too long. Their glances were only for him. Their body was only his. Their conversations, their passions, their life, their loyalty, all of it was his. He supposed the least he could do was not pretend to be fickle with it.
“Very well, my love. I won’t. My sweet words will, as always, be for you alone. Plus, we can’t have your jealousy wreaking havoc all over the castle & city. Just think of the stains.”
He kissed Tav, to reassure them that his love was for them and them alone, picking them up and carrying them to the bed to remind them properly. As he carried them to their bed, he stepped over poor dead, double dead, Azura’s body. Already forgotten. Already not even a memory. Just a stain in the carpet that would need to be sorted out in the morning.
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