#i actually hate renting so bad
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poeticnotpretentious · 7 months ago
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Guys guys
Guys
Can someone please please give me a little empty flat or house?
I will pay for it by making it look cute and sending you loads of pictures of my designs.
I might, and hear me out carefully on this, even put a cat in there if you let me!!!!
Please <3
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d3nji · 12 days ago
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Woke up and got depressed yay
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readymades2002 · 2 months ago
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if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff
#this is math i do fairly often bc i enjoy ho-hum math and hate my job and like#even if we took off 2000 bucks for overhead costs which feels excessive but i will concede it#that would be enough to pay everyone working a little over 860 dollars which is 300 more than what i make in a WEEK#literally WHEREEEEE IS IT WHERE IS IT GOING WHERE IS IT#i dont like following this logic through because on days where there are fewer orders we;d do less#and i disagree with gig work's implementation as ive seen it and i think that would stress people out worse than we already are#(which is significantly)#but at the same time. 850 dollars. i cant afford to buy groceries this week. 850 dollars...#can i get a BONUS or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it makes me soooo angry i was talking to one of the deli guys who asked for a raise and got denied mid-question#before our director accidentally showed him that their department is four thousand of gods own dollars under labor#its so revolting to me i talk to so many people in this store who are terrified because of medical bills or rent or car shit#half my department works two jobs just to get by and ALL OF THEM drive junkers#honestly one of the things thats scaring me about if i actually move out is that i do rely on...living with my mom#i pay for most of my own food i pay an absurd amount of rent to share a room with her but she's willing to drive me to work#even though i've offered to walk multiple times and she REALLY should prioritize her own time more#but at the same time...not having to pay for rides has been carrying me hard#if i got a car i'd be fucked because those things bleed money and generally ethically i disagree with cars#but if i dont its like okay pony up the money learn to navigate buses (except for sunday when they dont run) or get ready#to walk to your job where you walk all day and then walk home in the dark#which. i love walking. and listening to music on my own while walking. so bad example. but i also love not having my feet hurt#all the time always no matter what im doing which is something im becoming increasingly unfamiliar with#its like. ultimately. something's gonna get fucked no matter what#and then i hear a figure like 4600 and i remember how avoidable all of this shit is. how avoidable it is for ANY of us#our ceo is gonna walk away from this merger attempt with 5 billion dollars in safety-cushion money#the 10 top execs beneath him with 1 billion#and its just so. what can you even do. 5 billion. can a number like that even mean anything? how could you possibly need that much#850 dollars would be a lifechanging amount of money for me right now and im not even one of the worst off#its just. god. this world could be anything but what it is but its this and for what
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m--bloop · 5 months ago
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#my sister keeps getting mad at me#and today it culminated with her basically listing all the ways I’m making her life shit#and the things she listed I know I’m a fuck up like not being able to drive#being stuck in a part time job not having many friends crying when in a confrontation#and not paying rent on time to her#but she was so mad and I was mad and crying#but she wasn’t saying it cause she cared she was like you are making my life bad and it’s unfair#I’m sorry it’s unfair I’m trying but I know it’s not enough#and I couldn’t articulate myself#actually I know she’s right that I’m not trying enough#l just got upset which ofc doesn’t help anything#and now I ruined her day#i can’t even move out cause then she’ll get mad at me for that too#I agree with her that I’m a fuck up and don’t have my shit together and it’s a terrible quality I have#of having trouble catching up on everything I just feel overwhelmed all the time#and thinking about the future makes me so depressed I feel like there’s no point to anything#and even when I try to do something I fuck it up and don’t do it right#I tried getting my driving license before but now it’s expired and I’m back at square one#and my job rn I don’t think they’ll ever give me a full time gig#I can’t even explain myself now it doesn’t make sense why I’m so fucked#and it’s so hard to make friends all my old friends have moved#and behind and shit at everything#and now I know I’m dragging everyone else with me#she was like the one person I’m closest to and could trust but now I know I’m just a burden to her#the thing is i know she's right about everything#I fucking hate myself so much#update: she apologized I think we’re ok now#but I’m just wondering if it is
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hella1975 · 2 years ago
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im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia
#like yes i know ive had a very uniquely shit experience in doing a degree i actively not only hate but also am BAD AT#but also i just. cannot hack it#'but hella you go mental and pessimistic every single exam period' i know that but. im right also#like the other day i said to my mum how much ive just been enjoying my job recently#and how huge a deal that is bc i HATE my hometown and ive never ever considered my time here as possibly being good#and my 20s will hopefully be a lot of travelling but in between that to save easier im gonna live at home#so i dont have to worry about rent so alas that means when im saving up for my next trip I WILL BE IN MY HOMETOWN#and as excited as i am for my twenties that is one huge downside to me but i was really cheerfully saying to my mum#that literally for the first time ever ive considered it might not be too bad bc lately i have just enjoyed my job#like i enjoy the people and the work and the lifestyle of it and while it's never gonna be ideal as a means to an end it's actually good#and instead of focussing on that she went OFF on one about how she wants me to stay in education and keep getting qualifications#and she was like 'you could do an english degree you've always wanted to do english or how about open university-'#and i was just sat there blinking at her like girl.... no#like i could FEEL myself shutting down like the terror of having to return to this environment when ive got my sight so set#on that 'one more year and im done one more year and im done' mindset like that has been the only thing getting my through#is that im halfway through the course now so im closer to the other end than i am the beginning and if i can just push through#ill be free from it for the rest of my life. so the thought of immediately returning to academia even for a subject i adore? i felt ILL#and my mum apologised the next day without me even having to say anything bc she realised she kinda bulldozed me there#but i just know whether it's the adhd or ive actually been traumatised by this econ degree#(<- and im being serious there like ik 'traumatised' is a big loaded word but idk what else to use#and this degree has done so so much damage to me like it has convinced me that i am fundamentally a stupid person#to the point i refuse to add up bills when with friends or do answer any sort of intellectual question even if i KNOW i know the answer#bc ive just gone so so long of being bad at the only subject im studying like just SURROUNDED by it and being bad at it relentlessly#and i dont think people realise how damaging it is to very simply just... feel stupid all the time. but oh my god i used to be so confident#and bright and now i wont even do basic addition in front of people)#i really truly dont think i can do this again in any capacity. like the constant exams and studying and assignments#i just cant do it. maybe i just need a year or two away from it after this degree but my goddddd rn i cant see it#yes it's exam time for me can u tell. it always makes me existential and on the verge of vomiting at any given moment#i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i dont care about iterated deletion of strictly dominated strategies shut the fuck up#hella goes to uni
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sanstropfremir · 8 months ago
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if you could bring back one styling that you think wasn't appreciated in its time or the fans weren't ready for (but are now) or just think should be around again, which would it be? (hard round: something other than TVXQ's "Triangle" styling) (and I already know the #1 is Pink Gumby)
(kicks rock) ok FINE i won't immediately say triangle.........
my first instinct is actually something that DID get its due appreciation: arario!! it was genuinely ahead of its time (both in styling and musical composition), and if vixx hadn't done shangri-la we might never have seen a traditional/hanbok styling trend in kpop. but realistically this is kind of a tough question to answer because most trends in kpop styling have been recycled already in some way. i could say something like we should bring back the goofy looks for the early '10s but realistically that's already happened as much as it's going to without completely reverting silhouettes and clothing construction, which is not going to happen. and also i don't think most of those looks were underappreciated at the time. the most frequent type of look that is oft derided by fans and underutilized by creative staff are the infrequent forays into science fiction concepts. songs like 100%'s beat and more famously vixx's error were quite controversial for no legitimate reason, although honestly i don't remember how beat was received since vixx overshadowed them significantly (justice for 100% actually. the beat styling is better), but considering nobody remembers 100% even existed i'll consider it underappreciated. tbh in the current styling landscape of kpop my beef is less with fans not appreciating a styling (bc fans know exactly jack shit about costuming and will accept anything, even obvious garbage) and more with stylists who are unwilling to actually flesh out a concept. this applies to pretty much everything but i see it most obviously in scifi (and fantasy/horror etc, anything that's not boy/girl next door or school) concepts. one of the few cbs that i do desperately want to have a go around again is obsession bc please god can i finally have ksoo and minseok on the song, but also it's a fantastic concept that got most of the way there, it just could have been so much more interesting out if the stylists weren't cowards.
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sourkitsch · 11 months ago
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Two things that are true at once:
I am not nearly as mentally ill as I’ve convinced myself I am
I am far sicker than I’ve convinced my friends that I am
#:(#my friend and I were talking about post grad plans and we were talking about how our friend is gonna move in w them + their partner#and eventually we got onto how I’m not confident on my ability to pay rent on place by myself#and then they were like omg wait we were actually just looking at a place w 3 bedrooms and thinking about who else we would want to live w#and I literally brushed them off by saying ‘oh no I’m a nightmare to live with’ and they were like no omg it would be so great!!!!!!#it would not be great. and I am hoping whatever these plans are fall through so I don’t have to say anything about it#because I cannot have roommates. my friends have only encountered my ptsd twice and I managed it well enough that I’m pretty sure#no one noticed. but it’s because the vast majority of my triggers are domestic. when I sleep over my moms house I sleep in a bedroom#all the way down the hall away from everything because I cannot hear people’s footsteps by my door or I freak the fuck out#and just the idea of people drinking or doing drugs in a place I live makes me feel like I’m gonna throw up#I’ve tried living in a single dorm before and that was bad enough that I had to move off of campus my sophomore year#I just really really really don’t want to be serious and tell them I can’t#because I know it would be unfair to all of us#I hate that I view myself as a punishment for other people but I know it’s because it is. I would be that crazy roommate that’s brought up#for years afterwards. and it sucks because I like this people even if I know not to trust them#it’s also now a pattern that when I bring something up about me not being normal people think it’s a joke. which maybe it’s my fault#I really need to go back to therapy but do not have the bandwidth to go over the incest thing with a new person right now
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aropride · 2 years ago
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the dentist's office is so scary theyll be like "can i get the #2 probe for the D17 molar" like they're casting evil alien wizard spells on your mouth
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nomaishuttle · 1 year ago
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sry i also started thinking abt how great my life would be if i was trapped in a timeloop again. i meant again as in i thought abt it again not as in I was trapped in a timeloop and id love 4 it 2 happen again. never been in one unfortunately.
#id be so awesome in the timeloop dude. you guys dont get ittt id slay in the timeloop#id memorize every single thing that happens nad itd be awesome id write a book abt everything that happens even. and id be able to sleep so#much and therd be no consequences for anything (aside from. what. me being stuck in the timeloop longer? DONT MIND IF I DO!!!)#and like if itsba 24 hour timeloop. dude i can do anything in those 24 hours. i could go across the world PROBABLY#like i could just empty allll of my savings and book a same day no stops flight . and then id just like be somewhere else. ajd i wouldnt#even have to worry abt getting back bc timeloop my guy!!!#sighh .. yk. every day alreadh feels all the same due to depression so mayyybe everyday feeling the same due to timeloop wouldnt actually b#awesome but i think it would be avtually bc the reason every day feeling the same feels Bad is bc i know they shouldnt.ik theyre different#im justgoing through the motions every day and i hate it. if every day actually was the same ? dudeee i wouldnt be sad abt every day#feeling rhe same bc it straighr up would be. i wouldnt feel like im missing out on something... And idbe able to DO different things bc i#wouldnt have to worry like Omg what will happen tmrw if i do something reckless today.. omg i cant spend this money bc rent is due next#week. omg i cant go do thus activity bc i have 2 work today.. Brother nobody has to work in a timeloop!!!#and all id have to do is like. kill somebody every so often so the time god or whateber doesnt think ive learned my lesson. and itd suck to#kill someone yk id feel badd. ig rly i could just rob a bank and not have 2 kill someone#well yk. some ppl. i would murder. mainly bc i think itd be kiiinda funny. but i shant go into thay more#Dude i could literally learn every language and read every single bookkkkkk god i wanna be in a timeloop so bad id thrive in the timeloop
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daforged · 1 year ago
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i work really hard to not compare myself to others but it’s so bizarre to me to see other people my age like. going out all the time or travelling or even just living on their own. what do you mean all your money goes to just your own living expenses & your own fun and you aren’t the financial backbone of your family. every time i take vacation days a coworker will ask me if i’m going somewhere and its like no lmfao do you think im made of money. i dont think about it much because it doesn’t really do anything but upset me but deep down im so resentful of every other young adult who doesn’t have to pay their parents bills and just gets to blow their money on whatever the fuck whenever the fuck
#my best friend lives at home but doesn’t pay rent or anything at all and he was talking about buying new games & joycons & stuff#and he just dropped like. a large amount of money on getting a new dog#(impulsively. literally the whole thing happened in 24 hours and he wasn’t thinking about getting a dog at all)#and like its not like i WANT him to not be able to spend his money how he wants#i’m just resentful. because i keep trying to budget for things i want or even a fucking car so i can actually go places without it taking#over an hour. and then something unexpected pops up that i need to cover#like ive used 175% of the money i’ve earned this year on household bills#my savings are in shambles because nobody could afford shit so i had to cover it#and like. im happy to do it i don’t want my family to be screwed. theyre good to me.#but i hate this. and listening to people talk about throwing away money or impulsively spending tons without needing to worry about being#able to keep the lights on or whatever … tests my patience a little#im so resentful of having to be the grownup all the fucking time. why does everyone else get to be fiscally irresponsible and i don’t#freewheeling bitextual#even just people moving out … like i could afford to move out and i WOULD be if it wouldn’t completely fuck over everyone else#‘oh you live with your parents? you must save a lot of money that way’ fuck you!!! fuck you!!!!!!!#see what did i say. this train of thought is bad for me <3
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floral-hex · 1 year ago
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I’m out of town for a couple of days for my brother’s chess tournament and the internet in this hotel sucks butts and I only brought one book with me 😓
#sucks butts IN A BAD WAY#this is the same hotel that held the last couple of big chess tournaments my brother entered#so I’ve been here a few times but this is the first time I’m actually renting a room instead of driving back and forth each day#so positive: got a room and don’t have to drive a bunch. negative: no continental breakfast 😒#they have a little tiny starbucks but no free breakfast which is bullshit!#also all of my books are stilled packed up from moving bc I’m lazy so I couldn’t grabbed any one I really wanted to read#but I did get a free copy of Stephen King’s ‘On Writing’ the other day so I brought that#and yeah I am kinda pumped to peruse that. Mr King is a pretty cool dude and I def want his writing tips#but also… I just kinda would rather read something about a fucked up wizard or something ya know?#anyway I always feel weird or annoying saying this but if you want to send me any asks or anything to help pass my time then by all means#or not. it’s cool. really. I hate bugging people and I hate coming off as desperate & needy outside of the bedroom#im going to be mushy and say im kind of excited to spend the night sleepover style with my little bro here#he’s getting older and it’s getting harder to convince him to hang out with me#love this little dude so gosh darn much#oh man what if we get a pizza and watch a movie together? would that be cool? is that something teenagers like to do with their older bros?#i’m so lame#being like 18 years older than your younger brother means you get to fulfill your cool uncle/dad vibes without actually having kids#ok I have to stop myself from filling this with tags about wishing I was a dad or being whatever#what was I saying before?… did I even have a point?#oh yeah… bad internet… only one book… I’m hungry… yeah…#this isn’t important#you can ignore this#text
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6ebe · 1 year ago
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unfollowing every f1 driver on insta over summer break I don’t need to see Charles around Monaco Corsica and Sardinia with his family and friends <3
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running-in-the-dark · 2 years ago
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Just had a really uncomfortable conversation with our landlord & his wife - basically he was angry at us for drilling 'so many' holes in the walls (we really, really haven't drilled many holes in the walls. though we did build a shelf a few days ago, that could have sounded like that I guess?) and that it's getting very annoying that we've been moving in for four months now (it's been three months, and the vast majority of that time we didn't do anything, especially not anything loud. the only thing that's happened in like the last month is that we brought home and set up that shelf, and the holes we drilled today).
And it's just.. so confusing. Because we always ask them when we do something that could be loud/bother them, and they always say it's completely fine and everything. I just quickly wanted to get the drilling done today because I had to borrow my brother's drill for it, so we didn't ask this time.
And mainly it's confusing because they've told us SO MANY TIMES that they can't hear us at all, that we never bother them and that they're so happy to have such nice and quiet tenants. Like?? Okay??? How does that make sense. Last week we're great and sooo quiet and today we've suddenly been super loud for "four months".
So anyway after they left and I almost had a panic attack I realised I didn't take my anxiety medication this morning. Now it makes sense at least.
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rotturn · 2 years ago
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marsupials-of-mars · 3 months ago
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Hhhhhhnnnggf
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mgsdelta · 4 months ago
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being poor is literally so miserable
#i hate this so much i hope one day there is enough money for me to actually do something go somewhere buy something i want#and my bday is coming up and i have literally $0. i wish there was anything beyond just enough to pay rent (barely) and eat (sometimes)#idk im just bitching i guess but like holy fuck im so stressed 100% if the time and just wish i had room for a tiny bit of retail therapy#things should turn around soon i hope but then again it seems like money just evaporates no matter how much math i do#idk im just a leech anyways so i have no claim to any of it#and obviously when people are in the same situation as me their first thought isnt to give it away as a gift to someone else its to get#somerhing for themselves like i am saying i want to do. obviously. i would be in the same boat#but holy fuck i dont get graphic design commissions anymore because logos dont get changed very often so my only repeat customer hasnt come#back for more any time recently#and no one buys any of the products i make#and i dont have supplies to make anything new#and so i just wont have money.#god being poor fucking sucks so badly it sucks so fucking badly#i should be grateful i have a roof over my head but like holy fuck i wish i could relax let alone buy something for myself WITHOUT THE#PRESSURE OF FEELING LIKE IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING I CAN MAKE MY MONEY BACK FROM. i have a bad habit of thinking anything i do for myself that#doesnt somehow streamline a chore or produce soemthing i can sell or serve some purpose to other people aside from myself i shouldnt get it#even if i really want it#so i have a wishlist of like 1500 items ill probably never buy despite me still wanting them after years#i just look at them and imagine what itd be like to have them lmfao is that pathetic?#fellas is it pathetic to have desires#idk ive been stuck in this same exact spot for years and thats just how it goes#idk when the last time was that i actually bought something i just Wanted tbh. its all been needs or something rhat in my mind if i could#force myself to keep at it and really Create something that i could Sell it and get money out of it because thats all i fucking get a#chance to think about is money#another pathetic birthday for another dismal fucking year#^ peak pessimism#слова-паразиты
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