#and like. im happy to do it i don’t want my family to be screwed. theyre good to me.

[daforged]

i work really hard to not compare myself to others but it’s so bizarre to me to see other people my age like. going out all the time or travelling or even just living on their own. what do you mean all your money goes to just your own living expenses & your own fun and you aren’t the financial backbone of your family. every time i take vacation days a coworker will ask me if i’m going somewhere and its like no lmfao do you think im made of money. i dont think about it much because it doesn’t really do anything but upset me but deep down im so resentful of every other young adult who doesn’t have to pay their parents bills and just gets to blow their money on whatever the fuck whenever the fuck

[fastandcarlos]

The Littlest Surprise » Daniel Ricciardo

caption: hello im a new f1 content creator and would love some feedback if you enjoy my fics tysm 🩷

summary: you’ve not been seen at the paddock for a while and the fans are getting worried, little do they know the reason for your absence is about to make everyone’s dreams come true

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by schecoperez, georgerussell63 and 842,420 others

danielricciardo: always a pleasure to have the fam on my side, excited to show the little ones what uncle danny gets up to 🥺

49,302 comments

username1: is this yet another race y/n won’t be at this weekend??

username2: I cannot wait for the day that this man becomes a dad

username3: if y/n doesn’t hurry up and make him a dad…daniel i’m happy to offer my services 😊

maxverstappen1: how big is y/n/n now! she looks so grown up 🥺

danielricciardo: @/maxverstappen1 she’ll be 6 soon, where does the time go??

oscarpiastri: don’t forget your little adopted aussie nephew

landonorris: and your british nephew too!!

danielricciardo: @/oscarpiastri @/landonorris hey! i might be a bit older but not old enough to be your uncle thank you

username4: anyone else think something might be going on, daniel posting about his family without y/n there is strange

username5: @/username4 let’s not overthink this too much, y/n might just be busy

username4: @/username5 it’s been ages since we last saw her, you gotta admit it’s a bit sus

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by lewishamilton, alex_albon and 629,301 others

danielricciardo: another great weekend of racing, nice feeling to be back on the podium…man how I missed hearing that champagne pop 🏎️

38,402 comments

charles_leclerc: congrats brother, nice to be up there with you once again

username6: y/n not distracting you anymore to stop you getting on the podium??

username7: @/username6 wtf? why would you suggest such a thing?

carlossainz55: always knew you’d be back up there one day, long may it continue!

yukitsunoda0511: you gotta give me some tips bro, those manoeuvres were lethal today 🔥

pierregasly: danny ric just doing danny ric things

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, charles_leclerc and 922,547 others

danielricciardo: hey team! just wanted to clear up some things after miami this weekend…me and y/n are absolutely fine, had some things going on that I promise we’ll explain soon ❤️❤️ for now tho, here’s an update on life recently ☁️✨

92,174 comments

ynusername: 🥺🥺🥺🥺

username8: I knew you guys would be okay, take as long as you need my two favourites!!

username9: a big screw you to those who doubted you…real fans love you guys

landonorris: I love you guys, here if you need anything brother ❤️

username10: hope whatever is going on clears up soon, we’re missing you guys around here🩷

lilymhe: tell y/n to gimme a call! ily guys ✨

visacashapprb: can’t wait to welcome y/n back into the paddock soon - see you for race week!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by danielricciardo, iamrebeccad and 310,409 others

ynusername: it’s been a long few months, but we finally feel ready to share with you our happy news. pregnancy has been tough, I’d love to say it has treated me well, but it hasn’t. I cannot thank daniel enough for being by my side and helping me out whenever I’ve needed him…baby spam incoming ⛅️🍼

ps. each of us chose a picture to share, guess who chose what 🙄

28,461 comments

danielricciardo: words cannot begin to describe how proud I am of how brave you’ve been, the worst of it is over now my love, the countdown to baby ricciardo starts now

danielricciardo: ps my photo is way cooler than yours is

landonorris: omg I can’t believe you guys didn’t tell me, uncle Lando reporting for duty!

carlossainz55: the biggest congratulations you two, you’re going to be the best parents

carmenmmundt: so glad to hear y/n is doing better, may the rest of your pregnancy be a dream ✨

lilymhe: the strongest girl I know - so excited to see you become a mum 😍

username11: all my manifesting has paid off, baby ricciardo will be the luckiest

oscarpiastri: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!!

estebanocon: my spidey senses were spot on, I knew a baby was on the way!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by danielricciardo, lance_stroll and 102,585 others

ynusername: life lately 💫 exhausted but loving all the little things (including daniel 😂)

17,492 comments

username12: y/n looks like she’s living the dream, mum life suits her well 🥺

danielricciardo: im definitely not a “little thing” how else did we end up like this?

landonorris: @/danielricciardo excuse me sir you are about to have a child, sort your humour out

maxverstappen1: glad to see you’re feeling more like yourself again y/n, brunch on me soon!

ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 yes - let’s not tell daniel #gatecrasher

danielricciardo: @/ynusername you know your comments are public…right?

username13: anyone else wishing they could brunch with y/n too??

lance_stroll: sending all the good book recs your way!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 738,603 others

danielricciardo: babymooning 🍼 the smile says it all, so happy to have my girl back on her feet and feeling like herself again…making the last few memories just the two of us 🥺

83,500 comments

ynusername: thank you for the best couple of days and being my personal taxi driver

username14: look at his face - you can tell daniel is buzzing to be a dad

pierregasly: where was my invite?? I thought we were friends

carlossainz55: and mine!

georgerussell63: me too!

landonorris: looks like we were all forgotten!

visacashapprb: enjoy the break daniel! you and y/n absolutely deserve it 🏁🩷

username15: i speak for all your fans when i say keep the holiday photos coming pls

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, georgerussell63 and 920,355 others

danielricciardo: mum and dad 🔥🥺

tagged: ynusername

58,429 comments

landonorris: adopt me pls, im less problematic than a baby

danielricciardo: @/landonorris debatable

lewishamilton: so glad to see you both so happy, good luck with everything

charles_leclerc: wow!! y/n looks insane (suppose you look alright too daniel!)

ynusername: mum and dad?? i can definitely get used to hearing that 🤩

alex_albon: it’s not fair how adorable you two are, this kid is hella lucky!!

username16: pls keep the baby spam coming, you guys are the sweetest 🍼💫

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by lilymhe, yukitsunoda0511 and 109,446 others

ynusername: the many faces of a man who has just remembered he’s just signed up for no sleep for the next 10 years 😂

tagged: danielricciardo

23,201 comments

danielricciardo: after all I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me? you just wait my love 🫢

ynusername: @/danielricciardo this was too good of an opportunity to miss

carlossainz55: make the most of that middle photo whilst you can danny

georgerussell63: you have NO idea how much I just laughed at this y/n 😂😂😂

schecoperez: speaking from experience, you could not be more correct y/n #dannynosleep

username17: embarrassing dad before even becoming a dad 😬

oscarpiastri: call me for anymore embarrassing daniel pics 😂

danielricciardo: @/oscarpiastri no one asked for you to show up here

username18: I just want you to be my mum and dad instead 😭

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by oscarpiastri, carmenmmundt and 113,999 others

ynusername: can you believe this man is really about to become a father?? 🤦🏻‍♀️

32,694 comments

charles_leclerc: sometimes i really do wonder what you see in him y/n

landonorris: the biggest clown known to man, still the world’s biggest kid 😂😂

danielricciardo: is that really how you want to talk about the father of your child? I thought you were supposed to love me

ynusername: @/danielricciardo i do, ily very much 🥰

username17: not y/n releasing all the humiliating photos of daniel now they’re about to be parents

username18: y/n’s clearing the phone album for baby spam and giving us daniel spam in return

logansargeant: more to the point, this is the guy you chose as the father of your child??

lilymhe: the two of you are perfect for each other y/n ❤️

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, oscarpiastri and 1,403,407 others

danielricciardo: welcome to the world baby ricciardo 💕

after a lot of hardships and tricky times, y/n and i are beyond excited to share with you that our little one is here. everyone is safe, loved and doing well, my heart has never felt so full 🥺

tagged: ynusername

 ˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[hxzbinwrites]

Yayyy! Vox was who I wanted to make a request for so I was thinking what if female reader is an overlord who deals with weapons that can kill sinners and hellborn. Maybe she is also an owner of a nightclub? maybe she died in the 1920s and she knew Alastor as well and maybe she’s had a crush on him but he’s not interested in her so then she goes and she dates Vox but then she catches him positioned with Val and she doesn’t know the extent how Valentino is abusing Vox so then fast forward 7 years later and they meet again because she’s helping Alastor and of course that makes Vox jealous and angry and Vox just wants her back and he’ll do anything to show her that he changed and he just wants her back. And maybe he explains how Val treated him and then a happy ending heheh. 🤭 I love your stories. Also maybe reader is badass and is like doesn’t need a man because she got herself but she also loves when Vox protects her? Kinda like that song on TikTok from Olivia Rodrigo that goes “I’m a feminist obviously but I wouldn’t really mind him saving me”

Vox x Fem! Overlord! Weapons Dealer! Reader | Stayed Gone

(A/n): IM BACCKKKK!!! Sorry this is kind rushed, but it was a really fun write!!! I’m promise I’ll get working on more requests but i’m gonna take it easy to slide back into writing after my little break! Thank you to all of those who supported me through this!! ❤️❤️

Warnings ⚠️: Cussing, Vox is OOC, Cheating, Violence, Short (sorry :( )

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” (Y/n) said, throwing a wine glass across the room, particularly aiming at the TV who was caught in the act with a certain moth.

“(Y/n), babe, ‘ts not what it looks like I swear-“

“Oh really?” She said, a venomous lilt in her voice,”cause right now it looks like you’re getting screwed by your little business partner? Huh? Am I not right on the money sugar? Oh, but where’s that little sarcastic buzzer now?!”

Vox slipped his pants on, zipping up his fly while trying to walk towards (Y/n)

“I swear, you’ve got it all wrong. I’m..this isn’t…we’re not…”

“Save it.” She said,”This, us, is over. Our business deal is over. And if you even try to negotiate or give me some shitty excuse, this little turf you have will belong to my empire and become my next factory.”

Vox was left, standing here, shirt off and wrinkled pants on, watching as the love of his life took the bare necessities and walked out of his life, all while Valentino watched and smirked at the sight.

—————

7 Years Later

“THAT FUCKER IS BACK!!” Vox screamed, his fists slamming down on the table. A month before (Y/n) walked out, the infamous Radio Demon went MIA, and has now returned to the scene, alongside the Princess of Hell, Charlie Morningstar.

“Yeah” Valentino said, in a sultry voice,”I thought he was gone for good too”

“It’s been seven years!” Vox huffed, turning away from the screen, missing a very crucial person who just walked outside to scope the situation of the attack on the hotel.

“You still pissed he almost beat you that time, right before your little angel walked out~?” Valentino teased, rubbing Vox’s digital cheek on his screen, causing a squeegee noise to be emitted

“Uh, fuck you!”

“Just saying!”

“Things have changed a lot since they both left town!”

“That’s for sure”

“I gotta send a message to who’s, really in charge of things now!!”

“Welcome home, I’m gonna make you wish that you’d stayed gone! Say hello, to a new status quo. Everyone knows that there’s a brand new dawn, turn the TV ON!!!”

“Top of the hour, and we’re discussing a certain ‘has-been’ who has been spotted cavorting around town after a seven year absence! Did anybody miss him? Did anybody notice? More on tonight’s program!”

“So the Radio Demon is back in town! Why’s he hanging around? What does that mean for your family? Well handily I’ve got good news, he’s a loser, a fossil, and I don’t mean to sound hostile, but the demon is a coward!”

“You can take that as gospel! Pulling my viewers? Impossible. I’m visual, he’s barely audible! Stop giving him the time of day, don’t listen to a word he’d say! I hope he had a nice vacay, but he should’ve STAYED AWAY!”

“While he rid in radio, we’ve pivoted to video! Now his medium is getting bloody rare!! Hell’s been better since he split! Where’s he been? Who gives a shit!”

“Salutations! Good to be back on the air~!” A familiar, static filled voice responded.

“Yes I know it’s been a while, since someone with style, treated Hell to a proper broadcast. Sinners rejoice!-“

“What a dated voice!-“

“Instead of a clout-chasing, mediocre video podcast-“

“C’mon!”

“Is Vox insecure? Perusing allure? Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?”

“Ignore his chirping!”

“Everyday he’s got a new format!”

“You’re looking at the future, he’s the shit that comes before that!”

“Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He’d be powerless without the other Vees!”

“Oh please!”

“And here’s the sugar on the cream, he asked me to join his team! I said no, stole his girl, and now he’s pissy, that’s the tea!”

“WHAT?! YOU OLD-TIMEY P-PRICK, ILL SHOW YOU SUF-UF-FFERING!!!!”

“Uh oh, looks like the TV is buffering” A new voice said, mocking Vox’s breakdown. Except it wasn’t a “new” voice, it was (Y/n). (Y/n), with Alastor, at the Hazbin Hotel.”

“ILL DESTROY-Y YOUUUUUU”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost your signal” Alastor said, taking the mic back before finishing his number.

“Let’s begin~”

“I’m gonna make you wish that I’d stayed gone! Tune on in! When I’m done, your status quo will know it’s race is run! Oh this will be fun!”

Vox could hear Alastor laughing alongside (Y/n) in the background, as his monitors start to flash “no signal”

“FUCK!” He whines

————

The gang was all downstairs, Charlie explaining what tomorrows fun activity would be when a loud banging was heard on the door.

“A NEW GUEST!!” Charlie squealed, stars in her pupils, as she ran to go open the door, only to be met with a very tall TV Overlord.

Alastor’s antlers shot out of his head while (Y/n)‘s weapons were at the ready.

“I come with no harm!” Vox said, raising his hands, before locking eyes with (Y/n). His digital eyes made little heart pupils before blinking them away, embarrassed.

“(Y/n)…” he breathlessly said,”I-I know you hate me…but please, I-“

“Save it Vox.”

“I wish I could explain to you that night, or even today, but I can’t! This….deal has my lips sealed shut my love-I mean (Y/n). I-I just…I cannot explain myself with this contract I have.”

“Wait” Angel Dust said,”You’re Valentino’s little situationship, right?”

“If that’s what you wanna call it….”

“Wait….oh shit” Angel said, walking over to him,”I…I know what it’s like…”

“I know…I see you around his studio…I’m not above owning souls, I have my own, but to work with him…? I’d…..I’d free you all in a heartbeat….”

“Vox?” (Y/n) said,”are you in some sort of deal with Val over your…body.”

Vox could only look at her, not able to give her any conformation.

“Oh Vox…I…I didn’t know…I-“

“I know dear…” Vox said, smiling sadly,”but you have a erm….partner, of sorts, not your finest option but whatever, now and I wouldn’t want to intervene-“

“Oh Alastor? Me and him aren’t in a relationship” (Y/n) replied,”You know him, Mr. Ace in the Hole!”

“A what now?-“

“Ohhhhh, that…that explains so much.” Vox said, looking at the Radio Demon.

“Vox…I-I think we need to go home, talk about this in private….after I squish a bug.”

“Okay…” Vox said, holding (Y/n)‘s hand,”but what about this hotel?”

“I’ll still work here, with everyone, I believe in the cause. I just didn’t think you’d want to.”

“Maybe I can….put some ads on if you’d like-“

“YES YES YES PLEASE THANK YOU MR. VOX SIR ID REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!” Charlie said, shaking Vox’s other hand,”IM CHARLIE!!”

Vox smiled, a genuine smile for the first time in a while,”Yeah, yeah I think I need to hang here a little more often…detox a little…”

“Good, I can’t have you stressed out too much, I just got you back.” (Y/n) said, rubbing his digital cheek affectionately,”my little trophy husband”

[hyperactivewhore]

The Mikaelson family’s relationships, especially their romantic relationships, are weird. Klaus and Elijah have a weird thing going on in which they share partners (Katherine, Tatia, Hayley - but probably more. I think it’s kinda gross being with someone who’s been with your brother but to each their own I guess). Freya fell in love with someone she kidnapped - which is never a great sign.

But the worst is probably Rebekah who is technically Marcel’s aunt - and yet they’re together romantically. Davina is like Marcel’s daughter - and yet she’s with Kol who is like Marcel’s uncle which would mean that Davina is like Marcel’s aunt. However, if Hope is the sister of Marcel, and Marcel is the father of Davina, would that make Hope her aunt? Or if Davina’s with Kol, does that make Hope her niece and Marcel her nephew?

Honestly I think the only Mikaelson sibling to have a normal (as normal as it can be given that they’re vampires and live through centuries) romantic relationship is Finn. I think he and Sage were a pretty normal, average couple compared to everyone else.

I don’t know… I’m trying not to analyze the Mikaelsons and their messed up relationships too much because it kinda grosses me out and makes my head hurt. Im trying to focus on the bright side - no one is actually related - so that’s good.

The Mikaelson are each so fucked up and their personal relationships are even more screwed.

It was implied in The Vampire Diaries the Mikaelson shared partners sexually, and there was this one girl called Mary Porter/Scary Mary, who was a "Original groupie". She was close to all of them, to the point none of them could "remember" by which sibling she had been turned. Knowing how fucked up they are, sharing partners isn't something weird, especially to Klaus and Elijah who loved fighting over the same girl.

Freya falling in love with Keelin was so fucked up. I like them, they're cute once you get past the whole kidnapping thing, but it's wrong regardless. After she finally got with Freya, her storyline was reduced to nothing: she just became her love interest and stopped being her own person. Not surprising, though, the writers of this shows love doing that.

Marcel falling for Rebekah is just straight up grooming, and it's crazy how it was never addressed or how the fandom denies it. You're gonna tell me she saw him grow up, saw his brother love and care for him as his own son, and still managed to be attracted to him? To even marry him and want children with him? It's a miracle he never called her aunt at least once, even if it was sarcastically. I really don't like how the show kept painting Marcel as the bad guy and Rebekah as the victim because he refused to be/couldn't be with her, like why?

I can overlook Kol and Davina because he never saw Marcel as family and she never saw the Mikaelson as her family either, didn't even like them. Still wrong tho, because Davina was like fifteen/sixteen by the time they met and Kol/Kaleb looked around his twenties.

Finn and Sage were absolutely adorable. I truly like Finn and I wished he had at least a chance at a happy ending, but sadly he died twice and he couldn't even mourn the woman he loved.

At least they're not related, but fucked up anyway. I try not to analyze the Mikaelson relationships either because they're clearly problematic and fucked up even for an universe such as The Vampire Diaries, but oh well.

Thanks for the ask! I had fun answering it.

[pompoenwolkjes]

hiii hope you dont mind me asking about your wips specifically fem hyunin and for all us darling aliens 👀 (also im going to answer the ask you sent me soon 🩵)

Hi!! Thank you for asking! I absolutely don't mind, more yelling time for me! hahah

Fem hyunin is actually one that I have changed the plot for two times already and I might switch gears again once I write more hdhd the only clear though my brain had while writing this, was "LESBIAN HYUNIN" and that's it hahaha but I CAN tell you what it's current plot is:

its enganged Jeongin whose slowly falling out of love with her partner. And they both can tell but like each other enough to give it some more time in the hopes that the feelings will return.

And its Hyunjin who accompanies her friend to a family gathering, seeing Jeongin and immediately being enthralled by her.

Likewise, Jeongin is very interested in getting to know more about the beautiful girl who keeps staring at her and who blushes so prettily when she looks back.

Cue lots of Hyunjin pining and Jeongin having way to much fun flustering her, which later turns into Jeongin coming over to Hyunjin's place.

Snippet:

Jeongin blinks at the bottle of wine on the kitchen island. Hyunjin already hurrying over to fill up their glasses. Almost folding into herself, looking small and fragile, nervous. So different to the way she’d beamed when she opened the door to find Jeongin on the other side, unashamed joy on her face before carefully tucking it away. Being so happy about someone else’s fiancée turning up on your doorstep might not be proper, Jeongin gets it, even if she thinks it’s stupid. There’s nothing for Hyunjin to be ashamed of.  Hyunjin’s still fidgeting with the bottle, trying to get the screw-cap off, fingers shaking, eyes downcast. And Jeongin thinks she might know what this is about after all.  Gently she reaches out and puts two fingers on Hyunjin’s soft skin, tilting her chin up to meet her eyes.  “I don’t need to be drunk to like you, Hyunjin-ah” Wide eyes stare back at her, lips parted in surprise, slight blush on her cheeks and god she looks so lovely.

for all us darling aliens is my space au! Chan, Changbin and Minho are a space traveling crew, with Chan and Changbin being humans and Minho a (wild)cat shapeshifter. Changbin and Minho are in a relationship. On one of their travels, Minho gets very ill and Changbin sets out to find a cure for him while Chan stays behind to take care of Minho.

Going through space on your own is not very smart but they can't leave Minho alone or take him on the ship either. Along the way Changbin meets the rest of the skz who are from different planets. Including Hyunjin, who Changbin very quickly catches feelings for while still being in love with Minho as well. And the closer they get to the cure, the more conficted Changbin feels, wanting to get back to Minho as soon as possible but also not knowing what to say about Hyunjin. Main paring is minbinjin (help what are those three called hdhdh) with side seungin, jilix, and Chan joins a pairing but I'm not yet spoiling which one heheh

Snippet:

Seungmin doesn’t try to hide his displeasure when he turns around to face Changbin.  “We don’t have to take this route-” “We need the minerals for Minho,” Changbin interrupts. “It’s not the only planet that has those minerals,” Seungmin coldly points out. “It is the closest one,” Changbin returns, just as blunt. “Finding another planet like this might take us more time than we have. You know that damn well.” Seungmin deflates, looking a little lost instead of the intimidating presence he was moments before.  “Just- don’t make him fight, I- please, I’m not afraid of dying but not him, he wasn’t meant for this.” Hand coming up to protectively rest on the back of his neck like he can still feel the warmth Jeongin’s fingers left on his skin.  “He’d do it if you asked, so fiercely loyal," Seungmin can’t stop the fondness that bleeds into his tone but his gaze is sharp, like he knows his words hit home, knows Changbin isn’t just thinking of Jeongin when he looks over Seungmin’s shoulder, eyes flitting to another fierce little thing. One he’s just as desperate to protect as Seungmin is with Jeongin.

UM SO this is LONG omg sorry I am incapable of making my snippets short dhhdhd

Thank you again for taking an interest in my silly thoughts and letting me yell about them, I had fun writing it down <3

[limeleviathan]

introducing traumatised lesbians: part 2!

meet Cerulean

yes im using the same second image as i did with AVIAN, sue me

anyway, this is Cerulean! she goes by she/her and is AVIAN's beloved girlfriend

her speech indicator will be C, for example (C: do you need a hug?)

she is one of the few members of the group who is not a Subject of Operation Vanguard, however she bore witness to what caused AVIAN to become part of it, and was most supportive of getting her the help she needed. she is incredibly compassionate, but fiercely defends her friends, drawing her blade if she believes any of them to be in danger

she is the quietest member of the group by far when around people she doesnt know, but around her closest friends, or especially her girlfriend, AVIAN, she is able to talk for hours

while she has no special abilities herself, the sword she wields does grant access to Blinking, a low-distance, electrified teleport, and the sword itself is capable of chaining lightning in exchange for a large amount of energy

BACKSTORY (Sunset Beginnings)

its an even longer one than the other two, 3000 words this time :3

I’ve never been the extroverted type. The fact that some people are able to talk to new people easily just doesn’t make sense to me. Whenever I see someone cool, someone who I want to get to know better, I’ve tried talking, but for some reason, when I began the conversation, it quickly ground to a halt.

Naturally, this made school difficult. Where others were in bustling circles, each group intertwined through a person or two, I sat alone. Whenever I tried to change that, people just moved on. I felt like no one wanted me. I felt like no one cared. A few other kids tried to stick with me out of pity, but I just couldn’t handle the group environment of most friend groups.

It wouldn’t come as a surprise that group projects always filled me with dread. Usually, when I see everyone else’s results, I see them all standing together, sharing together, enjoying each other’s company. My groups, however, are never that cohesive. While the rest of the group is always just talking and being happy, they leave me all the work because I don’t talk much, and then when my nervousness prevents me from sharing, they just take all the credit! I was considering just leaving school altogether, and I was only 10!

This all changed one day, though. As I walked into class, hoping I wouldn’t get too screwed over in the group project I knew we had today, the teacher gestured for me to sit at the table at the back of the room. Not a great start, considering the kind of kids that usually sit there. At least for now, though, the table sat empty, and I waited anxiously to find out who I would be with.

And then she walked in. I saw, coming through the door, the vibrant orange of Tangelo, known for assisting anyone with any troubles whatsoever. Whether just a confusing homework question or even losing a family member, she always put others first, and always made sure that the problem was managed before she left. I had always been hoping that someday I may be able to talk to her about my inability to make friends, but just being in her vicinity made the words get caught in my throat.

She followed the teacher’s gesture to my table, her face glowing with excitement. She was my opposite in almost every way imaginable: while I was reserved and kept to myself, she had an expansive circle of friends and talking to others was second nature to her. While I was always shy and scared of others’ perception of me, she was proud and uncaring of any criticisms anyone else has. Not that they have any. She had never made an enemy, as far as I knew.

Ever since our first day in this class, she had caught my attention and I wished I could be closer to her. The way she always smiles when anyone compliments her, the way she fervently defends anyone being bullied or even just insulted, the way she lights up the room just by entering it. Unfortunately, she made me more nervous than anyone else at first, so I was simply hoping that she would someday approach me.

Now, as I sat right next to her, I hoped that it would finally happen. And it did. About a minute after sitting down, she started talking. I still love how she is able to talk for hours on end, even when she has a sore throat and it physically hurts. She just loves the company of others, and being able to listen to her ramble on about her interests still warms my heart.

Wait, I’m getting sidetracked now. Where was I? Oh wait, she just sat down. Yeah, as she started talking, I immediately felt nervous, but unlike with anyone else, I was still able to talk relatively comfortably.

“Hi!” she exclaimed, her permanent smile still as bright as ever. “Hey,” I responded quietly, not sure how to approach a conversation like this. “Sorry in advance that you have to work with me… you probably know that I can’t present too well, so I think I’m going to have to leave that to you…” “Hey, don’t apologise. I didn’t just get put into this with you, I wanted to work with you. You’ve always been alone, and when you haven’t, you’ve always been thrown with the… less mature kids. Anyway, I asked Mr. Saffron if I could work with you, and he let us!” “You… you actually wanted to work with me? I… I’ve never actually had anyone want to spend time with me, let alone work with me.” “Well, that’s their loss! From what I’ve seen throughout the year, you’re a really cool person, and I probably would have approached you a little sooner if it weren’t for how you often seem kinda uncomfortable when talking with people.” “Wait, you noticed that? I’d always thought I’d kept that a lot more hidden…” “It is actually hidden fairly well, it’s just that I’ve always been able to tell when people don’t feel comfortable. Hey, if you want, you could hang out with me and my friends at lunch! We’re usually in the games room, you could meet us there!” “We have a games room?! Why did no one tell me about this sooner?!” “I take it you’re interested, then!” “Absolutely! Video games are my favourite!” “Well, I’ll see you there! Also it’s good to see you being excited, I haven’t seen that too much this year and I’m glad I’ve been able to help!”

She was right. I couldn’t remember the last time I was excited to do something social at the time. Usually I’d thought of it as a chore, but that time? Between spending more time with Tangelo and getting to maybe meet more people who love gaming, I was genuinely excited to meet someone for the first time in years.

We kept chatting as we worked on our poster, and when class finished, Tangelo led me out and towards the games room. As we stepped into the room, I was amazed. The whiteboard that stretched across the room was glowing with the light of a screen I knew well, coming from a projector at the back of the room. I looked around and saw a long table with bags and lunch boxes scattered across. In the centre of the room lay patches of beanbags, with 2 couches at the back. There was a group of sticks gathered around the front, where they each connected their controllers before they all turned to us.

“Hi guys!” Tangelo said, cheerfully. “We’ve got a new player here! Cerulean, say hi!” “Hey…” I murmured, not expecting to encounter so many people here. Tangelo noticed my hesitation, and turned to me, face warm with compassion. “It’s alright to be nervous. I know you struggle with talking to new people, especially so many.” How did she know? “Maybe it’d be better if we introduce you through the game. You know how to play Smash?” “Do I?! Of course I do!” “Well then! Grab a controller and let's play!”

I ran excitedly to the front of the room, and a tall purple stick handed me a pro controller. That stick came to be known as ARACHNID, Tangelo’s adopted sibling and fellow Subject later on. They have expressed wishes for their former name to not be disclosed, so I’ll just refer to them as ARACHNID from here on out. Anyway, I grabbed the controller, thanked them, and flopped onto a beanbag. Tangelo sat down with me shortly after. Then, we began.

These sticks were a lot better than I was expecting, but I think I held my own fairly well, especially considering that this was my first ever 8 player game. They were all so welcoming, and when I won game 3, they had an idea.

“Let’s all go random!” a green stick called out. Another stick I got to know better later on. Her, although at the time it was his, name was Forest, now known as LEVIATHAN or Lime. The reasoning behind that last nickname was an interesting one. One day, a while later, she would just pull a lime out of her backpack, mid-game, and just… take a bite out of it. Skin and everything. It was… certainly an interesting thing to witness, and distracted us just long enough for her to just get two free kills in that game. We never got distracted like that again, but we called her Lime from then on out.

Anyway, we all went random, and chaos ensued as almost everyone groaned after seeing their fighters, and then proceeded to target Tangelo who allegedly got one of her best ones. She still won. Her skill was admirable, and although the gap has closed slightly, it’s always impressive when she manages the impossible.

We kept playing until Lime checked her watch and declared that this was the last game. Upon its completion, we packed the switch into the drawer at the front of the room, which contained many more games and controllers left unused. I thanked everyone for letting me play and being so kind, and they let me know that I could return every day if I wanted to. Now, fast forward 4 years, me and Tangelo still go daily, with her whole friend group, although Lime and ARACHNID have both moved on to high school. Allegedly they also have a gaming group there, and also play Smash, so I expect that when we arrive next year, Lime will be ready to take us on in a school environment once more.

Anyway, that's enough about Year 5, time to talk about the next big moment. In Year 7, Tangelo invited me to her house for a sleepover, and her being my bestie, I accepted immediately. Here’s the difficult part, though. I had realised I was actually a lesbian a few months prior, when I began to develop a crush on her. I knew that I would probably get rejected, since she was probably straight and wouldn’t feel the same way, but after all that time, I thought I might as well tell her.

I thought of an amazing idea as to how: Truth or Dare. Never have I heard of a sleepover where Truth or Dare was never played, and you are bound to speak the truth there. So I decided I would try and slightly manipulate the game to the point where someone, hopefully Tangelo, would ask me about my crush. 

As I arrived, I greeted Tangelo with the standard hug and bonk on the head that we often did to each other. She welcomed me inside, and showed me around. I saw ARACHNID just sitting in the living room on their phone, and they waved when they saw me. I waved back. When we got to Tangelo’s room, we heard the doorbell, and both sprinted back to the door to welcome Lime in. We all went back to Tangelo’s room, and I actually got a chance to look at it this time.

It was a fairly cosy yet chaotic place that reflected Tangelo very well. The bed was vibrant blues and oranges in a sunset, completely unmade. The corner of the room housed a large bookshelf, filled to the brim with many different series. Her bedside table held a stack of books seven high, all from one series. A desk in the corner held her laptop, and there was an external keyboard and mouse connected to it, all glowing a pale blue. I felt at ease in her room. I felt calm.

Another knock at the door, and Tangelo ran back over to let Scarlet in. As they both returned, we all sat on Tangelo’s bed and continued chatting. Eventually, Tangelo suggested we play Truth or Dare to spice things up. Considering that I was hoping for it, I accepted immediately, and Scarlet began.

“Tangelo, truth or dare?” she asked. “Let's start with a truth.” Tangelo replied. “Have you ever wished you could kill anyone?” “Nope! I try not to make enemies if I can avoid it, and besides, messing with them in every way imaginable is a lot more fun.” “...How would you know that it’s more fun?” Lime asked curiously. “Doesn’t take much thought to know that messing with someone is more fun than murder,” Tangelo responded. “Fair enough.”

I went next.

“Scarlet, truth or dare?” I asked. “Truth,” she responded. “Lotta truth already, huh,” I responded. “Anyway, have you ever had a crush on anyone?” “Yeah. There’s this one guy in my math class, you wouldn’t know him though. His name’s Turquoise.” 

Next up was Tangelo.

“Forest, truth or dare?” “Truth,” he responded, sounding… nervous? Also I’m using he because that’s what he was at the time. That wouldn’t last much longer. “Hmmmm… What is your biggest secret?”

He took a deep breath, clearly mentally preparing to let out something big. We all waited anxiously, wondering what could be making him so nervous, especially considering that he very rarely got nervous at all, let alone THAT nervous. 

At last, with a deep inhale, he finally began. “I… I’m…” He sighed, and, with a sudden burst of energy, announced “Ya boy’s a girl!” We all sat in silence for a moment, shocked by the sudden announcement, before Scarlet began chanting “One of us! One of us! One of us!”

Me and Tangelo immediately burst out laughing, before both flopping forwards to hug Lime. Scarlet joined us a moment later.

“I’m so glad you were able to tell us,” Tangelo told Lime, slightly muffled by being mid-hug with 3 other sticks. “And managing to keep your usual energy? That would have been tough with how stressful that must have been. We are all so proud of you” “Damn right we are!” Scarlet added, her voice filled with her usual fervour. “We’ll always love you, girl!” I exclaimed. In a much softer tone, I added, “we’ll always be here for you, you can come to us if you need it.” “Thanks guys,” Lime responded, “I’m so glad you all are so supportive. It means a lot to me.”

We all sat there for a few minutes, hugging each other like there was no tomorrow, before Lime sat up once more.

“Well, the game’s still going,” Lime announced, “and it’s my turn! Cerulean, truth or dare!” We all returned to where we were sitting, eager to return to the game. “Let’s mix things up a little. Dare!” “Slap ARACHNID with a fish.” “What?” “You heard me.” “Why?” “Why not?” “Hey, sorry to burst your bubble, but there aren’t any fish in this house right now,” Tangelo stated, sounding… regretful? Why was everyone so intent on me slapping Tangelo’s sibling with a fish? “I’ll deal with that,” Scarlet said, eyes filled with determination, “nearest supermarket is only a couple minute walk if I’m fast enough. I’ll have your fish soon!”

With that, she left the room. I was still confused on why everyone wanted me to slap Tangelo’s sibling with a fish, but hey, a dare’s a dare. In the meantime, we opted to continue our game without Scarlet until she returned. It was my turn once again. I decided to continue my plan.

“Forest, truth or dare.” “Truth.” Perfect. “Who is your crush?” “Don’t have one right now.”

I hoped that Tangelo would continue the cycle. This question frequently began one.

“Cerulean,” she asked, seeming surprisingly hesitant, “truth or dare?” I hoped this would lead where I thought it would. “Truth.” “Who… who is your crush?” This was exactly what I was hoping for. And it was incredibly nerve-wracking. But I wasn’t going to back down now. Nervousness be damned, I was going to confess! “My crush…” I began, nervousness near overwhelming. “My crush is… it’s you, Tangelo. But I know you’re probably straight, so I haven’t told you… until now.”

Lime went silent, turning to Tangelo. Tangelo seemed even redder than usual.

“That…” she stuttered, clearly nervous about something. “That was… This is… I can’t believe…” She stopped, as though words were failing her, and then simply jumped forward and hugged me. As I sat there, about to hug back, feeling my face burning up, she whispered “I had a crush on you too.”

Lime sat there for a moment in awe, then finally let her excitement show, letting out an incoherent string of words, clearly excited that her friends had found love, and that she was there to witness it.

Now, to this day, that was still the greatest day of my life. Me and Tangelo are still together, two years later, and have really been through thick and thin. I mean, yeah, we did both explode in a car crash that one time, and it was easily the most terrifying moment of my life, since while me and her mum had recovered quickly enough, she was still completely unconscious, and had to have cybernetic replacements to save her life.

She made it through completely fine, especially due to Lime, now also known as Subject: LEVIATHAN, and her newfound mechanical abilities. ARACHNID went into the Operation that saved her life as well, which is where they got the name of Subject: ARACHNID. Now, me and Tangelo, who is now also known as Subject: AVIAN, like to make use of her new abilities of flight to fly around the sunset, me in her arms, away from the rest of the world. 

I am so glad I was able to meet her, and I love her with all my heart. She was my only friend when I had no others, and then as I got to meet her friends, I finally had a group I felt at home with.

Oh yeah, Scarlet did get back, she did get a fish, and I did slap ARACHNID with it. They were confused for a moment, but found it very funny as well. Good times!

[toodleloos]

“do I look different?”

————————- ꧁✩���✩✬꧂ -————————

A question ive heard from almost everyone ive known. Including myself. They look in a mirror, dreading the way they look. The way they sound. The way they act.

But how could a kid possibly hate how they look?

“I’m too skinny. im too fat. I wish I was brunette. Or maybe blond. I wish I had curls like her, I wish my hair was straighter than a ruler.”

“If I throw myself on a field, waving my abs around. Am I macho? Or cool? Call a gay kid a slur? Maybe it’ll hide my obvious interest in men.”

Highschoolers are fake. The hallways? Filled with drama, and chaos. The moment I turned 13 I knew my life was over. I had to care about being cool, or liking this or liking that or liking her. Sometimes my head hurts because he’s so handsome, and she’s so gorgeous.

“Just don’t be gay. That’s weird.”

I’m weird.

Change your hair. Fix your attitude. Why do you dress like that? Your stupid. Your fat. No, you’re skinny. Oh fuck, now you’re fat and stupid!

But.

Have you eaten lately?

“You look different now.”

“You’re different.”

I know im different. You remind me. They remind me.

I look around at my classmates. Blonde, brunette, black, white, tan. Girls, boys, trans guys and girls.

Why the fuck does it matter if she screwed that guy? Or if he lost his virginity. Why does it matter if that girl wants to be a guy? Or that guy wants to be a girl?

There is so much hate.

We’re only kids. we can’t be kids forever. Don’t you listen to your parents? Enjoy your youth. Don’t cause drama. You say you listen, yet there are still huge numbers in suicide cases for teenagers. And what are the teachers doing? The parents? Adults that are supposed to protect us from this.

Keep us safe.

“I can’t stop crying. I’m so hungry but mom says I’ll be skinny soon.”

Why is it that we revolve everything around weight? Let me give you an example. A mother has twins. They’re healthy. One just.. puts on a little more weight. Instead of helping, do you know what her mother says?

“You’re so fat.”

And it starts. The disorder. Yes, she loses weight. Becomes “popular” with the girls and the jocks and she’s finally happy?

Throwing up your food makes you happy?

You can have so much sex. Drink so much booze. Smoke a shit ton of weed. But let’s face the facts.

we’re just kids and the world is laughing at us.

Don’t you remember? Climbing up on daddy’s lap, laughing, unaware of the cruel ass world. But— even then. We were so mean.

“I know my dad, do you?”

“My mom said your dad cheated on your mom and left. Hah! So funny!”

“My mom and dad said they loved eachother, so why do they fight?”

“My dad hit me last night. He said it was an accident. He smelled funny.”

“My mom looks at me weird after dad left.”

“I don’t see my parents much.”

I don’t think they notice, they shape our lives. They just like to criticize and criticize. And when we break. They yell at us and break us down. Like we’re the ones in the wrong.

“Depression isn’t real.”

“Teenagers are so exhausting.”

“So dramatic.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

To them, we are nothing if we complain. If we feel pain, or cry, or hurt. We’re dramatic because we never went through their struggle. Oh no. It’s not like we’re a whole new generation. No! We’re just dumb kids.

I don’t blame them. Their parents weren’t exactly uh.. stable. So they grow around this hate, pass that hate to us. And they wonder why we hate coming home. Why we HATE hearing,

“oh your just like your dad! You look so much like your mom!”

I spend hours. Changing myself. Taking nice pictures.

hey. I think I like this guy.

I should totally go for it, right?

They date. Everything was bliss. Then a random text.

“Hey, can you send?”

What? Send what?

“Nudes. Duh.”

I’ve never done that. she says.

“Don’t be a fucking baby.”

I’m with family.

“Just go in your bathroom.”

she did it of course. We all want validation. We crave it. Even if it will kill us. I don’t get the appeal.

I don’t get the appeal of being an asshole. Forcing yourself onto people, forcing them to vape or send weird pictures or.. kill themselves. Just don’t be a dick!

Be a kid.

I’m tired of the voices screaming at me, saying I suck. I’m an idiot.

I know!

They call me names, I go home and.. the feeling swallows me up. It’s the same thing over and over again. The same cycle. I’m tired of it! I want to be different! I want to look different.

why can’t I be DIFFERENT?!

I feel panic swallow me whole. The only thing I can hear is my ac wind blowing. Everything else is gone. And im.. okay.

Moral of the story? Be kind.

Oh! One last thing. I just need an opinion.

“Do I look different?”

————————- ꧁✩✬✩✬꧂ -————————

[zzencat]

Literally forgot to add: emoji 🧙‍♀️ sun sign Leo, initial: S.M

Questions (organized, I wrote them in a big long paragraph earlier)

Is the business venture I want to pursue the right one right now? And will I be okay (financially and stuff)

Will that creep leave me and my family alone?

What's my future spouse like?

Bye now!

hi sm!!! if you haven’t read a novel recently, get ready for a bit of reading 😅 other than that, thank you for participating! (ive also seen your other ask so dw)

ok so i have wild news my friend. i don’t recommend you going down this path, even though you’d have a lot of pride in your work here. if you want to be financially ok, this is not it. you’re being asked to have a lot of strength if you do. you’ll be in financial stress and overwhelmed. furthermore, you’ll be faced with a bit of oppression and competitiveness- overall, just people treating you badly. you could be faced with a lot of power imbalance as well and your communication efforts aren’t gonna pay off enough. future relationships or potential collaborations will have a slim chance of succeeding as well. it’s looking like a bad ending for…pretty much every aspect. it’s a shame that you can’t exactly capitalize off of this and maintain an ounce of good mental health. chances are things will start to break apart, and you’re having doubts even now. i suggest making this a side hustle or hobby, but not as the main career choice. you’ll be treated very unfairly going down this road.

the best outcome for you at the moment that brings you comfort, confidence, and stable income, is to come to either leave home and move somewhere else, OR resolve conflict that’s currently going on (esp w/ family members) and pursue something more practical and although the environment isn’t as creative or fun as you’d want it to be, you’ll be a lot happier. cards also suggest better planning skills and looking at this logically. you should also act on a well-thought out plan asap. you might think it’s sad that you can’t pursue whatever it is you wanted (creative and emotional attachment) but you’ll be a lot better off financially and with more confidence too, trust. things will play out from there :)

this is also the 2nd time i’ve seen a suggestion for you to get out of your environment. you or with your family as well. there’s been a big stagnancy going on for a while. i also suggest not making any bad moves against this creep and it will resolve on its own. it might take a while and it’s kinda pissing me off too even now, but despite everything weird or terrible that might happen (like a huge loss of something), you guys will have a happy ending. also, don’t let anyone screw with you or destroy your light! keep your head up and you should be pretty good!!

some qualities of your future spouse!! :

*note: cards came out SO easy damn

- your fs is not ready yet but this person is on the way. slowly though. they’re very careful with love but very easy going as well

- i get that they’re confident and chill and make all the right moves! i have a feeling they’re also pretty experienced with life and will lead you too! this person is going to be a mentor for you in many ways and will teach you tons

- it seems you’re not ready at the moment either, but they ABSOLUTELY will be in your life

- this person could be traveling rn btw

- they move fast too. they’re efficient in work and thinking

- this person could be from a different culture as well, but im getting the most on them teaching you something

- i think you’ll also live in prosperity in the future with this person! either that, or this person grew up in a family that’s well off

- they’re working at the moment and not resting. they’ve either got one main job or they can make decisions with ease

- this person might show up in your life when you need help or are at one of your weakest moments

- stable and ready to take it on

[peekaboo-icyou]

More mafia Wilbur pls

I’m so glad you liked my mafia au🥰

“A date”

In which your a innocent person who owns a flower shop and you go on a date with the mafia boss

You call Wilbur and he answers “darling i was beginning to think your were never gunna call” you giggle “what are you doing?” “Oh I’m just finishing up work it won’t take long I promise” there’s a loud noise in the background “are you ok?” “Don’t worry dear it’s just a bit of machinery going off I’m at an old factory” he starts to talk to one of his men “yeah just give 5 minutes, alright what did you say love?” “I’m cleaning my house do we still have to go out if I don’t do it now it’ll never get done” “nope you accepted my offer to go out your stuck with me now at least till you get sick of me” “shush” “alright darling I’ll be quiet you get dolled up for me ok?” “Where are we going?” “To that new restaurant down town” “but that’s expensive” “no it’s not” “but” “I can understand if your not comfortable letting me take care of the entire bill, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, you can pay me back later with cuddles so you go get ready and I’ll be there within the hour” “ok…cya” “bye” he hangs up and his workers laugh at him “ok enough I have a date to keep so suggest you boys finish up with old John Doe over here, tell you what im in a good mood so just break his knee caps or something” “yeah and then we could dump him into the ocean” “no don’t do that just” he sighs “I don’t have time for this, just don’t kill him just send a message and go home to your families alright? Anyways im out I’ll see you guys tomorrow” 15 minutes later he arrive at your small apartment you open the door “wow~ oh um sorry am i drooling” you giggle “your so werid” “anyways c’mon” he grabs your hand and leads you to his car, you both arrive at the restaurant and get seated “here let me take your coat” he helps you take your coat off you both sit down and order you playfully kicks him in the knee “excuse me love but what do you think your doing? Y’know I have you pegged as someone who is innocent” he laughs “you had me pegged?” “Yes I had you pegged why?” “No reason but your blushing super hard” “c’mon now I am not blushing” “how’s your food good?” You nod “good I would hate to be the guy that went back and had a few words with the chef” you giggle “it’s so calm here it reminds me of being in your shop honestly nice and peaceful…hey um n/n are you having fun?” “Yeah of course” he sighs “um good that’s good” “you don’t seem happy what’s wrong?” “Am I that easy to read? I’m happy sweetie I just worry, I work a lot and I’m scared you’ll get bored of me” “I’m don’t mind” “no don’t hurt me like that don’t sit there and tell me you don’t mind” “I don’t care I’ll give you a chance anyway” he laughs “I’m mean it’s not the worst choice on the planet I suppose” you giggle “you have a cute laugh…” you blush “you up for drinks or do you want me to drive you home” “can you drive me home” “of course, I just wanted to say thank you for giving me a shot, does this mean I can take you out again sometime?” “Of course oh let me fix your tie” “oh you don’t need to help me fix my ti-“ you kiss him “oh um what um message received um y/n don’t um don’t pull in my tie like that again though ok?” “Oh I’m sorry are you mad at me?..” “no I’m not mad about it I’m just discovering some new feelings at the moment confusing frightening feelings at someone half my height yanking me in for a kiss like that” he sighs “screw it” he kisses you “there were even now” your super flustered “and n/n if you keep teasing me like that I’m gunna find it very hard to keep being a gentleman” he kisses you again “alright alright it’s late and as much as I’d look to push my luck I gotta get you bed i promise we’ll have more time to make out n/n I promise also I’ll call you in the morning and we’ll go from there, yeah? “Ok…” he helps you into your apartment and into bed “goodnight n/n”

[dezdigi]

hating myself so bad

would i have felt better if i had just let him apologize? why do i feel the need to prevent him from taking responsibility if i’m actually hurting? just because i’ve wronged him previously doesn’t mean he can’t do any wrong. but it twists in my head that i have to make up for and defend his actions to him and in my head even when it hurts because it’s my fault everything is screwed up now and i’m hurting and grieving im going crazy ahhhh

i feel like im still hurting from the argents over spring break where i believed he resented me so truly. and for the argument on his father’s birthday where i wasn’t doing enough to entertain his family but his resentment circles back to me not being able to handle anything and that i’m always just going through a hard time always. and whenever he says that it hurts me so deeply because i’m trying all the time to just be okay for myself, for my academics, and mostly for him because i don’t want him checking up on me all the time and for him to say it during an argument that i stress him out. but later in the argument he explains that he doesnt resentment and theres unsolved problems hes holding onto and that he recognized my efforts the whole time.

and it just hurt so bad because it would cut so deep to hear repeatedly that im always just not good even though i’m trying so hard.

i feel like i mess things up so bad whenever he praises me genuinely. to hear things like he thinks that i am genuine and pure or that i nurture him are so rare and for me to go and just mess everything up the next day

i hate myself for not being good enough to just be there without feeling my own feelings i hate it i just want to be happy with the person i love but it feels like my emotions are sabotaging me

[chillychive]

Thanks for the tag @noworneverphantom !

Are you named after anyone?

My legal name, nope. I was a double rainbow baby and came after 2 deaths in the family so my parents wanted something totally new for me. My chosen (soon to be legal!!!:D) name, is accidentally sort of after a character I love and relate to a lot. I was reading and someone called out the main character, by last name, and I suddenly had this “yea! I’m here!” Moment and I was like wait why did I respond to that-HOLY SHIT I FOUND MY NAME. It’s a funny origin story for sure. My middle name is up for debate still, but if I don’t keep my birth one, I’m going to change it to follow a family naming scheme that I think is hilarious and a good way to subtly follow family tradition.

When was the last time you cried?

Several weeks ago. Honestly, I wish I cried more. It’s very hard for me to cry. I saw the milky way for the first time and just started sobbing. I cried for nearly an hour, just kneeling and staring up at the sky. That may have been the first time i understood that tears aren’t always sad.

Do you have kids?

Nope. I’m too young and despite adoring small little children a lot, I’m not sure I’d ever want kids of my own. I’d be too scared to mess them up. I feel like I could be quite the good parent too, but I couldn’t deal with the stress. Maybe adopting, tho. I’m sure as hell not giving birth. Ever.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I used to be really sarcastic, but I’ve stopped using it as much now. I’m trying to use more positive language and open myself up more to people, and stopping being sarcastic except when I’m parroting back to my friends to show them how insane whatever they’re doing is (I have a bunch of workaholics that somehow adopted me that I often need to stop before they work themselves to death) has helped me a lot to do that.

What sports do/have you played?

Hm. Currently nothing, but I’ve done a lot of odd sports. Probably my most normal is volleyball, which I got pretty good at but I struggled with the people part of team sports and got bored. Before that, I did competitive archery (I wasn’t great, I didn’t practice a lot but I got my 250 pin at my last comp before my coach retired), and swim team (my first summer I was amazing at it, my most recent I sucked so bad but at least I can say with confidence that I have a very strong back stroke).

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their demeanor. I study people a lot (I’m very much the quiet kid who watches everything), and how they carry themselves and how they interact with others is usually the first thing I notice. Their general vibe.

What’s your eye color?

Good question. When I was little they were bright blue and they’ve gotten a bit darker as I’ve grown but still very blue. As I grew up tho, this yellow-green color spread from the inside (no, not jaundice I checked) and now they can look blue, grey or green depending on lighting. I wear glasses, sadly, so I can’t show off how weird my eyes are, but they are very weird, and kinda pretty.

Scary movies or happy ending?

I avoid scary movies at all costs. Me & my ocd brain cannot handle that. I have a very low tolerance for fear. Happy endings are kinda lame and I love screwing over the main characters at the end, but if I had to pick one or the other, happy endings by a long shot.

Any special talents?

I have random knowledge on many odd things, thanks to being a compulsive researcher and internet access. I have a double jointed toe, and jaw (idk either tbh). I can overthink my way into any situation. I can recognize any plant native to my area (edible plants phase when I was 11). I have abt 50% of needed knowledge on most topics. I know most basic codes and often will geek out and learn more. I’m not 100% accurate but I’ll definitely recognize and mostly understand how to solve most basic ciphers. Im also very good at crafts, especially yarn. I am uniquely talented at unraveling balls of tangled yarn.

Where were you born?

In a laboratory where they bred sentient capybaras. Interpret that how u wish. (/nsrs)

What are your hobbies?

Taking on too big projects, writing, drawing, painting, digital art, harassing my friends, singing, piano, rpg, Minecraft, basket making, there’s probably more but I can’t think.

Do you have any pets?

Not unless you count my sibling.

How tall are you?

5’11” im tall lol

Favorite subject in school?

Dang these questions keep getting harder. First you want to know about the lab I was made in, now my favorite school subject?! Probably government, or choir. Choir is my safe space, def my favorite place in school, and the teacher is amazing. Government is fascinating and has a great teacher. In theory, English, but in practice the class is either boring or stressful (basically me going from “ha this is beneath me I’m rlly good at writing” to “oh fuck they actually expect me to *write* things”), so I’m not a huge fan.

Dream Job?

I wouldn’t mind a painfully repetitive job as long as they don’t mind me listening to music/a podcast while I work. But I suppose that’s not a dream job. Perhaps a writer for a sci-fi show. Maybe even Star Trek or Star Wars. It would be fun to have something long running to play with. That would be a good use of my wide skill range and love of space and creating worlds. Or getting to create and mold my own show in that sort of realm to make something truly new (aka sci-Fi as I see it, which seems to disagree with a lot of current creators or sci-fi stories) and getting to watch it unfold would be so beautiful. Watching the worlds I’ve sculpted on spreadsheets and very complicated Google slides explode onto the screen, with all of their mess and people and joy and weird little critters and imaginative ways to make it more realistic would be the most amazing thing. I’d have a hard time not picking up the actors and just going “MY BABY, I MADE YOU!”

On that very weird note, I’m going to tag some people and go to bed. @sadmushroomgoblin @doublemegative @wantmeifyouwantme @dragons-in-spaceee @twincityhacker

(Sry for the double tag, Ik @noworneverphantom already tagged a lotta y’all)

[slytherinshua]

🍈!! i didn’t see ur last response to my ask i’m sorry zanna ://

i hope ur piano recital went well tho. i saw ur post ab ur lesson after n i hope ur not too stressed, but assuming it’s all out of the way i hope everything is more calm now!! what song did u end up picking? :0

and i saw ur post ab ur 300 followers event, and u shouldn’t stress urself w writing stuff. if nobody is paying u to write, u can (and should) write whatever u want at whatever pace. i read a couple of ur fics from groups i don’t stan n they’re still so fun and enjoyable to read even when i don’t really know who they’re about.

cheering u on quietly!! :)

melon!! its okay don't worry about it lol <33

uhm so actually had a breakdown this morning then told my piano teacher i wasn't feeling well and didn't do the recital or the lesson last minute so like screw that new piece as well who even knows anymore 😍 lol uhm... im okay now tho, I went to the coast, went to an aquarium with my family, saw an octopus and some fishies, went to the beach, got gelato and some cold tacos 😭 today had a redemption so i'm overall satisfied... still feel a bit guilty abt backing out of the recital but when i tell you i could not handle it today like 💀

yeah i had to continuously tell myself that it was okay if i wasn't feeling inspired the requests... tbh i've always been so used to never getting requests, so whenever i get them, they're really really special to me 😭 but now that i've gotten quite a lot, it's been a little overwhelming. but i'll take my time and write them when i want to and feel inspired and in the meantime write things i want to write!! <3

omg rly?? can i ask which ones lmao 😭 i kinda feel honoured like you read them even when ur not into the group?? :( that's so sweet 😭

thank you so much melon :( im always so happy whenever you pop into my inbox 🫶🫶 cheering u on as well!!

[diaryofa20somethingyogirl-blog]

what do i feel

well, for starters i really do not feel like a 20 something anymore.because i’m not. 

what a hatus. 

but maybe inside, emotionally, i am. 

i feel like..i cannot talk to you. anything i say or do that doesn’t sit well with you turns into an arguement, a break up, a walk away, a block. ironic given i feel we got this far through communication and with time, the communication or the attempt to communicate in large, fails us. 

i feel like.. this uncertainty is why i don’t feel comfortable enough to share more. this instability makes me feel like maybe i go through things alone and see how that pans out and i feel like..i feel like that makes me disappointed. in you, in us. maybe i had too much faith. 

i feel like..i feel like i want this because this was so massive.to go through.but i also feel like i’m scared to go through it again with you.. 

i feel like there’s resentment.yes, you read that right. resentment. i feel like there’s resentment because i went through it and it feels like just another thing that happens on the daily to everyone else but me, like i went to the store and didnt find my brand of yoghurt and i’m feeling too much over it and everyone’s thinking fucking hell get over it already. 

i feel pressure. i feel like theres so much pressure surrounding me because fuck it why do you even like babies and love so deeply because youre screwing yourself over and now look at you, (me), youre a fucking mess. youre a blithering idiot for not moving on.

i feel like crying when i think about the pressure, i feel like i’m hiding everything im feeling because its not approved of, because its ‘taboo’, i feel like i thought i could do it because i had you and i would have had you to go through it with me but what i didnt realise was there was a ticking timebomb on how much time i had with you to go through it with me and you’re frustrated too and thats added pressure and it just makes me feel undescribably alone. lost and alone. 

lost because i’ve never been here. i dont know what else life wants to throw at me but i hope to God it isnt this big and it isnt this painful because what if i have to go through it alone then? how will i survive when i feel so incredibly broken right now and i dont know how to get back up. 

i feel like writing my feelings doesnt help because it makes this lump form in my throat and i dont want to go there, my child is in the next room so no, i cannot cry, i cannot go there and today i didnt cry nor did i puke so please, anxiety aside, lethargy aside, please let this be a good day. 

i feel sad. i feel sad that a day where i’m lethargic and not puking, is a good day. 

i feel lost, i feel lost that i fear the one thing that made me so happy in my initial 23 years of life, the knowing i had a mini me coming out of me soon, that fear is inside me now.its a mixture of i want it but its too soon because i have yet to grieve my loss. 

i feel the loss. i feel it in every fiber of my being.i feel it in every crevice of my soul, in every dream i have, in every fantasy i create, in every 2 child family i see, i feel the loss. 

i feel the bond, between me and this entity, this beautiful being that is no longer, i still feel the bond. i long to love you. i wish you knew how much i did. 

i feel the longing. everyday, every minute , every second. i brush it away and make jokes and carry on so i can be socially acceptable again but i still feel you, i still think of you, i still miss you and i still love you.i will always love you, you who were part me and part a man i love. i will always be yours. 

i feel insecure. i don’t feel worthy of love for what happened, i find it hard to love myself. i critique every inch of my skin, i grieve for every imperfection that came with what happened, i grieve for what could’ve been. 

i feel the pressure.the pressure to be okay. 

and i feel the loss. the loss of your support.of being able to talk to you without you being frustrated and angry and walking away. 

i dont know who i miss more.the you i envisioned that would come out of this with me. the me i was before i went through this.or the soul that is lost, hopefully guarded by our beloved ones. 

[the-supernatural-rewatch-project]

s1ep1 "Pilot"

welp here we go again! the first episode of my two year long supernatural rewatch project! im pressing play, let to fuckery begin.

bullet points are thoughts as i watch, paragraphs are my closing comments!

Why do I pay money for amazon prime if they are gonna show me ads before what im trying to watch???

happy John Winchester feels incorrect, like where’s the assholery.

And poor Mary, dying for no good reason except to forward the plot.

AND FUCK AZELZEL or however you spell his name. They were so happy, they were a family!!! And yeah so what Mary was from a line of hunters or whatever BUT THATS RETCON!!!

god its been six?? years since I first saw supernatural but still the image of Mary of the dealing face screaming out in pain as the flames engulf the room is so chilling.

DAMN??? Sam got a 174 on the LSAT??? Good for him, i assume all I know about the lsat is from legally blonde.

justice for Jessica honestly, such a great girlfriend and Sam was a little shit.

Okay sam being all home defence over dean creeping around in the dark is kinda cute.

Sam and Jess were just a happy couple, Jess didn’t deserve all that.

“Dad hasn’t been home in a few days” “dads on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days” two sentences that make me regret starting this rewatch project.

“not normal, Safe” YEAH YOU TELL HIM SAM!!

I try and deny it but i am a sam girl.

DEAN TWENTY SIX??? oh my god, and still that attached to daddy.

Sam and Deans upbringing was basically a cult.

“you know there’s evp on that” yeah sam, its called static.

Sam should have become a lawyer. He wouldn’t be good, but it wouldn’t be hunting.

I LOVE YOU JESS, DATE ME NOT SAM!!! I would NEVER get you killed.

Oh yeah, this episode is a woman in white.

tits out, dead a fuck, “take me home” yeah I would 100% let her kill me.

Now that I remember this is a woman in white episode, i remember the plot of it. I actually really liked this episode’s monster of the week aspect. the woman in white was a compelling victim and perpetrator, and i really felt for her.

“it’s the greatest hits of mullet rock”

“driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole”

god I hate hate HATE the fbi badges, you two are babys, infants, CHILDREN!! Yall are NOT FBI agents!!!

“Why do you have to talk to police like that??” Damon Sammy? What kinda lawyer were you tryna become??

Oh yeah they are talking about dad again, this episode feels like it rapidly swings from feeling like any monster of the week episode of supernatural OR any plot driven episode.

um holy shit…. Dean shoving Sam against the pilled. Perhaps i know why wincest was the big ship until cas was introduced. (I mean like i dont ship it, but i can see why)

Okay the car driving itself was fun.

lmao dean at the edge of the river looking like a drowned fish is hilarious.

“you smell like a toilet” I’ve been reminded that supernatural wasn’t written for teen/young adult queer women and was actually written for white dudes.

“No chick flick moments” see my previous point.

“Jerk” “bitch” I hate this.

women in white are just so good, i love them.

ahhh the introduction of dads journal. The biggest problem solver in the entire fucking series.

this poor husband, kids gone, wife gone.

Jesus fucking christ, that jump scare jumped me scarred.

this poor girl, she just wants to go home.

kill him!!! I don’t want to watch another fifteen seasons of this horseshit

“Im taking you home” cringe alert 🚨

awww he’s not dead :(

Awww the kid ghosts :,(

wow that 2005 cgi does not hold up.

“If you screwed up my car, I’ll kill you” okay isnt the car the car that John brought Sam and Dean up in? How did the car become deans? John doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to buy himself a new car when the old one will do, and he certainly isn’t the kind to give his kid his car.

JESS MY BELOVED DONT DIE

How did Sam and Jess afford this huge fucking apartment?

NOOOO SHES DEAD!!!

Well first episode done, i am not 0.00305810397% of the way done supernatural! Why have I cursed myself with this burden.

Overall I did really like this episode! I think that it does create intrigue into the storyline, while also introducing the monster of the week format. However I wish they did a better job a meshing the two together, it did feel like I was watching two separated shows that happens to smashed together. One monster of the week and one plot driven.

As for the monster of the week, I like women in white, i think they are a cool narrative function and aren’t region specific, they also aren’t indigenous folklore or spirituality significant / revered figures something that supernatural has a tendency to uh…. Lets say butcher, something that i can’t wait to deal with next episode.

For the arc’s plot I do think it does what it set out to do… introduce the plot of the show. Two brothers trying to find their father, who has gone missing. That’s really all I can say because honestly this arc was my least favorite the first time I watched supernatural I cant see that changing this time.

[toomanyfandomsorkinafs]

It’s that time when I run out of space in my notes :,)

“I rode a motet bike once!”

“You have a license?”

“No I stole it.”

-

“Life could be worse **!”

“Life could also be better!”

-

“Why?”

“Sometimes just for the fact that your asking questions is enough of a reason.”

-

“Yeah im not coming, too much Money.”

“But memories for a life time!”

“My bank account will remember it too.”

-

*gives *** dirt*

“Screw you.”

-

“What's the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?”

“*thing they got told not to do*”

“And what did you do?”

“*thing they were told not to do*”

-

“Before we do anything else, please drink some water.”

“I love you.”

“Aw I love you too but drink water.”

-

*Avian with broken/hurt wings* “Catch me ***!”

*gets caught*

“Hiya.”

-

“You think I’d turn my back on you for this?”

“You turned your back on me cause I order pineapple on my pizza.”

“Cause when you do that, you hurt god, ***”

-

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I’m too busy plotting your murder to sleep, **.”

“…”

“…nightmares.”

*wraps their arms around ***

-

*at fast food drive thru*

“CRISPY CHICKEN”

“Welcome to (fast food) can I take your order?”

-

“You know the worst is the one in the can.”

“What’s the best?”

“None.”

-

“When are you getting married?”

“When I can afford more then just $1 ramen for dinner.”

-

“Whoever messed with my things is going to be-“

“It was me…”

“…Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.”

-

“I don’t want to try cause I’d lose my (special item)- and my (family/friend)”

“WOW! Not even caring about your (family/friend)”

-

“I bet they were think that they can make you look evil and that all your friends will leave you but nope not me! I look at you and I think ‘wow what a freak, I bet I can fix him!”

“What is wrong with you? And them-“

-

“A consequence? To my own actions? How charming.”

-

“its all fun and games until you need three brain cells instead of two”

-

“Are you happy?”

“No.”

“Good”

-

“*** are you okay?!”

“Physically or mentally?”

“Both?”

“*confused noises*”

“Physical?”

“Oh I’m good!”

-

“*** you okay?”

“No”

“What happened?”

“Pain.”

“You want to sit down?”

“No…”

-

*kissing ** softly*

“Weren't you two having an argument earlier?”

“Shit, you're right!”

*kissing ** aggressively*

-

“You guys broke up?”

“Yeah she/he wasn’t the one..”

“I mean she/he was the one to disappoint-“

-

“No no! Don’t cry! Your makeup looks too good.”

-

“Remember when you took me to go the the pharmacy?”

“Yeah.”

“Their out of my (ADHA/Depression/idk what else) pills….for five days.”

“Oh my god…”

“It’s gunna be a fun week!”

“I’m going to my mother’s!”

“Threw sickness and in health motherfrucker!”

-

“*freaks out*”

“Oh it was just a leaf..”

“*freaks out* AAH ANOTHER LEAF-“

-

“Where’s your (weapon)?”

“I don’t need one..”

-

“Ooo so I’m a witch?”

“Ooh no close, your a butch”

-

“I want everyone to know that ** is my legal name but ******** is my wizard/stage name. I’m like Batman, without the cool gadgets.”

“You’ve got money/magic tho”

-

“I think he/she’s stuck.”

“I’m not stuck, I can get out of this situation whenever I feel like!”

-

“Girl i Don’t even know where to start with these people.”

“Please do-“

-

“If your family doesn’t like (food), deep fry them!”

“…”

“I meant the (food) don’t deep fry your family!”

-

“If you run through me again, I Will..  I will.. I will hit you.”

“No you won't.”

“Yes I wi-“

“You're a wet wipe.”

“YOU'RE A WET WIPE”

-

“All odd numbers have e in them.”

“** go to sleep, it’s 3 am.”

“Thr-E-E am!”

“GO TO SLEEP!”

-

“The one on the left is pretty.”

“But I’m on the right..”

-

“How much do you weigh? 120”

“Pounds or kilograms”

*side eye*

-

“***, Darling, Sweetheart. Light of my life.”

“You’re angry with me, aren’t you?”

*smiling sweetly* “Livid.”

-

“I’ll tell you if I’m hurt.”

“Okay.”

“I’m hurt.”

-

“What?! I can’t share misinformation at the table?! But he gets too!”

-

“I have prostate cancer.”

“Huh?”

“How old are you?”

“Oh I’m (child)”

“I can’t talk about this with you-“

-

“Oh you know about (things that not a lot of people know)?”

“Ohhhh (the thing)! No.”

-

*in a different language*

*throwing *** a dirty look* “hey pass the hot sauce”

“why are you looking at him like that”

“I'm pretending to talk shit about him in (language) want to join?”

“...”

*squinting at *** * “the hot sauce is super spicy”

-

“I WOULD CREATE AND DESTROY WORLDS FOR YOU!”

“Okay, can you do the dishes?”

“no”

-

——

 Now for the kidnapped ones…

“I’m not gunna touch you.”

“Why not?!”

-

“Is this your mother’s basement?”

“No.”

“Are you insecure about this being your mother’s basement?”

-

“No matter how loud you scream none of my family will hear you cause their out of town!”

“Good, there’s a reason they call me the familyfu((er”

——

-

“Is the thing between ** and *** supposed to be a secret?”

“Hardly. The only people who don't know about ** and *** are ** and ***.”

-

“I got so much done today! I washed my sheets, I put them in the dryer… I’m ready for a well-deserved rest!”

*** walking into their bedroom* “where the heck are my sheets?!”

-

“When’s your birthdate?”

“(Today’s date)”

“Ma’am/sir, that’s today’s date.”

-

*At the doctors*

“What seems to be the problem?”

*Looks at parent*

“*sigh* They have (a broken arm, stomach pain)”

“When did it start?”

*stares at parent*

“*sighs* (day)”

“Okay, how old are they?”

*stares intensely at parent*

“Tell them your age”

*stares at parent*

“Oh my- their (adult)!”

-

“****, my old friend!”

“I think you tried to kill me at some point.”

“That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.”

-

“I thought I’d need to eat two (sugary candy) to be as energetic as you.”

“I had one (not that sugary candy)!”

“Are you still gay?”

-

“Time to make a mistake!”

*few moments later*

“Time to make another one!”

-

“Which one of those kids was bulling you?”

*points*

“That one? Okay.”

“Hey little guy what’s your name? ***? Ok.. *attacks*”

“Hey! Hey! Why’d you hit my kid?!”

“Oh are you the parent? I’m so sorry… Because you can get it to”*attacks*

-

“When *** was born, the gods said, ‘He's too perfect for this world.’”

“Please. When he was born, the devil said, ‘Oh, competition.’”

-

“Would a “***” please come to the front desk? 

“Hello, is there a problem?”

*Store Worker pointing to * and ** * “I believe they belong to you?”

“We got lost.”

“I didn’t even bring you guys here with me”

-

“Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?”

“Neither. Because it's twelve.”

-

“**, are you good?”

“I have this massive headache that comes and goes”

“Hey guys!”

“Ah look, there it is again.”

-

“We need to find the one responsible for this. It could be anyone!”

“***, it's ***.”

“I mean, come on, it's always ***”.”

-

“‘I can fix him’ ‘I can make him worse’ well I can pick him up like this. He is my tiny wife.”

-

“People think that our dynamic is ‘the one who talks a lot’ and ‘the one who listens’ but I didn’t hear a single word he/she said honestly.”

-

“What if they think I’m stupid?”

“They all ready know I’m stupid and there’s nothing the can do to stop me!”

-

“A beer for me, and an apple juice for the kid.”

“****, I'm (adult).”

“…”

“I can buy my own apple juice.”

-

“The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.”

“I almost died.”

“That... was my favorite memory.”

-

“Now, ***, all of us are doing this because we care about you, okay?”

“Except for me. I just wanted to see the look on your face.”

-

“What did you get *** for Mother’s Day?”

“Uh, nothing considering that he’s my (male relationship), not my mom.”

(Extra but like only for the bit)

“Yeah. It’s just…* send him flowers”

*running out*

“Where are you going?”

“I got to buy a balloon. * is not one-upping me again.”

-

“Go make your bed! I already ask you!”

“Why made my bed when I’m going to sleep in it later?”

“Why feed you when your going to die one day?”

-

*two friends acting like a couple but they are actually just friends. No feelings.*

“But we’re not…..romantically involved.”

-

“Happy birthday day grandma/grandpa!”

“Well thank you… I hope it’s my last.”

-

“So ***, what's happening to you? you know when like, animals change their skin- is that's what's happening to you?”

“Are you calling me an animal?”

“We're all animals. oh wait, you're a demon actually, sorry.”

“YOU'RE CALLING ME A DEMON NOW?”

*from the other room* “I KNEW IT!”

-

“I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test!”

“Ok, ***, I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918?”

“1917.”

“ …You're ready.”

-

“I am **, I speak for the trees. Chop them down and I snap your knees.”

-

“I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me first.”

-

“Gatekeep, girlboss, and what's the other one again?”

“There isn't another one. You're crazy.”

-

“Hey, wanna help me commit arson?”

“What the hell!?”

“Oh, sorry, my bad.”

*whispering* “Wanna help me commit arson?”

*whispering* “Of course. What do you need?”

-

“You know they say ‘God takes the good ones early..’ I’m hoping he takes me soon.”

-

“You know I’m a dreamer.”

“Why’s that?”

“Cause I DREAM that I was dead already.”

-

“You know I’m a dreamer.”

“Why’s that?”

“Cause I dream that I didn’t need to be here with you anymore.”

-

“You know I’m a dreamer.”

“Why’s that?”

“Cause I dream I could kiss you right now.”

-

“So, I've been thinking-“

“That's dangerous.”

-

“I'm genuinely surprised you haven't gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.”

“Nat 20 Charisma”

“That is NOT how that works-“

-

“I want to be a little hater but I’m so bad at hating at hating things..”

*Grabs face with both hands* “I can teach you.”

-

“Life is like ***. It's short.”

-

“I need a long word.”

“T-rex but the long one.”

-

“I got bad news”

“Me too. *** cheated on me.”

“Oh I have good news!”

“What?”

“I hit him with my car!”

-

“Your pretty.”

“Thanks.”

“I wish there was something between us…”

“Me too.”

“Really? Like what?”

“A wall.”

-

“I hope you find someone that loves you a ton.”

“Enough to peel my pistachios for me?”

“Yeah, exactly!” *hands another peeled pistachio*

-

“I don’t like this!”

“That was dumb. I hate you.”

“True love<3”

-

“Oh my god we’re going to hell! We’re going to hell and it’s all your fault”

-

“***, what would I do without you?”

“Oh, you’d be just fine, I promise.”

“NO SHE/HE WOULDN’T! DONT BELIEVE HIM/HER!”

-

*is dead*

 "WHO DID THIS TO YOU?! SON OF A B*TCH"

-

“****, go to bed”

*Has not slept in hours* “You're not my mom”

“Is your mom here right now?”

“... No?”

“Then I'm shaming you on her behalf.”

“YOU'RE HALF MY AGE!”

-

“You know, I think something’s wrong with me.”

“Ok, I want to say this in the kindest way possible… there is no way you’re just now noticing this.”

-

“I hate to disagree with you, but-“

“Please, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do.”

-

“If I didn’t love you, I’d barbecue you.”

-

 “*** gave me a get better soon card.”

​“That's sweet!”

​“I wasn't sick, ​he just think​s I can do better.”

-

“Keep insulting me, ***, and I’m going to end up kissing you.”

“*insults heavily*”

-

“Is something burning?”

“Just my love for you.”

“***, the toaster is on fire.”

-

“‘the only way out is through’ maybe for you, I have a grappling gun”

-

“*mentions something about ** parents*”

“Wait I have parents?”

“Did you forget?”

“Yes…?”

“…”

-

“See You at (ungodly hour) when you actually go sleep.”

“I’m gunna sleep now in spite. >:(“

-

“You know, you say ‘I do, I do.’ But soon you’ll say ‘I dead, I dead.’”

-

“What are you humming?”

“Oh, I've got a Beatles song stuck in my head”

“What song?”

“I wanna hold your hand”

“Oh, okay *grabs **’s hand*”

“So, what's the song?”

“0////0”

“*sweating profusely* Bohemian Rhapsody”

-

“There was no angel and devil situation there. It was just double devil.”

-

"Call me Scooby cause I can't Doo this anymore!"

“Call me just Doo cause Scooby won’t talk to me :(“

-

“I can’t talk to human beings.”

“You can talk to me pretty fine.”

“I don’t really consider you a human being….that’s a compliment.”

“I took it as one.”

-

“I told *** to fight her/his demons, and that's the last thing I remember before getting knocked out.”

-

“You know I once got caught in a gun fight but I didn’t have a gun.”

“WHAT?!”

“Yeah, I won.”

“How?!?”

“I told them they were a coward for using a gun.”

“And that worked?”

“Yup!”

-

“And then you came down from heaven and blessed me with your wonderful talents!”

“You sure it’s heaven? Where you sitting upside down or something?”

-

“‘I can fix him’ ‘i can make him worse’ well I can pet him on the head like a doggy”

-

“*threatens robber/armed person*”

“You want to die?!”

“Kinda.”

-

“You think I’m stupid?”

“Yes.”

-

“Do you want to speak?”

“No.”

*offers thing they like* “How about now?”

“Oh yes I do.”

-

“Hold the fucked up.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said hold the fucked up.”

“…”

“I’m the fucked up, hold me.”

—

“If you think I’m dumb now, wait til you see me high!”

“Oh god no-“

—

“Who hurt you?”

“*snorting* What, do you want a list?”

 “...Yes, actually.”

(Optional to add)

“Well ain’t that longer then Santa’s good list.”

—

“Tell me, did you ever imagine you’d die like this?” 

“Actually, yes. This is exactly how I imagined I’d die.”

—

“Can I ask you for a favor?”

“I would literally die for you, but continue.”

“We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.”

—

“I am going to need you to swear-

“Fuck.”

“…”

“...swear as in promise.”

—

“Go big or go home!l

“Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home.”

“I'm going big!”

—

*kidnapper* “I have your partner.”

“What? I don't have a partner...”

“Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spat in my face?”

“Oh my god, you have ***..”

—

*playing spin the bottle*

“This is awkward cause we’re best friends.”

“Best friends make the best lovers”

—

“You can’t spell manslaughter without laughter”

“What is wrong with you?”

—

“It’s not a war crime if you had fun!”

—

“It’s not illegal if there’s no witnesses.”

—

“If the enemy didn’t die, you didn’t shoot enough.”

*shoots the play dummy again til it breaks*

-

“Remember kids, it’s only illegal if you get caught.”

-

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“No.”

“Can I anyway?”

“Yes.”

—

 “I'm trash.”

“As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?”

“…”

“You smooth motherfucker. And yes it does.”

—

“Do you remember how I used to get myself into extremely tricky situations because of my idiocy and last time I promised that I'd never do anything like that ever again?”

“I don't like the sound of this at all but yeah, you did.”

“*shamelessly* I'm once again in the exact same situation.”

—

*yawns* 

“Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.”

“Then you must be exhuasted.”

“Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.”

—

*attempting to flirt* “So, you come around here often?”

*confused* “I mean, this is my house, so yeah.”

—

“Do you know who I am?”

“If you had you ID I might”

-

“Is that a threat?”

“Maybe.”

-

“Who is at (coordinate)?”

“That’s me”

“What are you doing?! The sever is going haywire!”

“Getting (gravel/sand/anything that causes lag)”

-

“Sure, I never get angry or sad about anything, but that just means there's no joy or thrill in my life either."

“...You wanna talk about that ***?”

-

“If I say I love you, will you say it back?”

“Yes.”

“I love you.”

“It back.”

*Later* 

“Why is *** crying face-down on the floor?”

-

“How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection?”

“I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.”

-

“You know, I think we should try a non-violent approach to this.”

“I agree. Except replace the word “non” with “extremely”, and after the word “violent”, include the phrase “blood explosion extraordinaire.””

-

“Do you take constructive criticism?”

“Not without crying”

-

 “Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren’t a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.”

“Elephants.”

“Blocked.”

“Camels.”

“Extra blocked.”

“Donkeys.”

“Ultra blocked.”

“That dick.”

“...Followed.”

-

"I can be seduced with as little as a look. I'll never let you go."

“So it wasn’t my amazing charm?”

-

“*saying everything they ever felt about their lover*”

“Wow. ** knowing how to flirt? What have you done with my lover?!”

“OH please! Like I even know what flirting is. I’m just saying how I feel like you.”

-

“We have your children.”

“What are your demands?”

“We are a daycare. We close at 5, come get your kids.”

“Oh dang sorry, I’m tripping.”

-

“Are you mad?”

“No.”

“So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?”

-

*meets up to talk*

“Are we just Gunna stare at each other? Or are we gunna make out?”

-

“Your stupid. I like that in a Person.”

-

“I made a terrible decision.”

“Don’t we all at some point?”

-

“If it’s not the true, your a sociopath.”

-

“Do You know how to pronounce (word)?”

“No.”

-

“*lies but not good.*”

“This little shit. I hate him already. He’s perfect.”

-

“Is that my (item)?!”

“This? Is it? Is it your (item)?”

“Yeah…”

“If it looks like your (item) probably is cause I just found this!”

-

“Can’t wait to see the look on her face when I die young!”

-

“For all you know, I could be exercising!”

“Are you?”

“No I’ll do it tomorrow.”

-

“I’m not cheating.”

“It sure looks so.”

“Well you would know what cheating looks like. Ask your husband/wife.”

-

*Just had their crush confess to them*

“I genuinely thought you were straight.”

“Really? No I’m (idk bi, Pan, gay)”

-

“I hate you. Kiss me.”

-

“I know it’s 1am but I’m sending you (a type like garlic, burger, or pizza) sauce.”

-

 “What’s wrong?”

“I have to write a whole paragraph for school.”

“That’s not so bad; I write entire books.”

“Yeah, but this has to be good.”

-

“Are you sure this is safe?”

“Not in the slightest. Let’s go.”

-

“Be myself? ***, I have one night to win over **’s parents. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?”

“Couple weeks.”

“Six months.”

“Jury's still out.”

“See, ***? "Be myself," what kind of garbage advice is that?”

-

“Surprise! We're having a baby!”

“What?!”

*pull out adoption papers* “It's you!”

-

“Alright, listen up you little shits.”

“Not you ​​***. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.”

-

“I sleep with a gun under my pillow.”

“I sleep with a knife.”

“Both of you are pathetic.”

“Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?”

“(Very scary and strong person).”

-

“I want to kiss you.”

*not paying attention* “What?”

“I said if you die, I wont miss you.”

-

"I'm telling you, he/she stole my heart, man." 

"That's awful, man. Breakups are hard."

“No, dude, she/he literally stole my heart."

-

“You three, explain right now!”

“It was ***.”

“It was ***.”

​“It was ***.”

“….”

“…fuck.”

-

“We need a distraction.”

“Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?”

*whispering* “My time has come.”

-

*about to do something dumb*

“I know I can’t stop you but let me come with you!”

-

“*** is making fun of my true love!”

“That’s because his/her name is (***’s sibling)!”

-

“You’ve got a high pain tolerance.”

“Thanks, from all the trauma.”

*hugs*

-

“Oh my god your bleeding! What’s your blood type?!”

“B positive!”

“I’m trying but your bleeding?!”

“My blood type is B positive!”

-

*mixing alcoholic beverages*

“What are you making?”

“A mistake.”

-

“If you don’t tell me who are my (food), I am going to-“

“It was me.”

“Kiss you and buy you more, you probably haven’t eaten anything today!”

-

“Are you ***?”

“You a cop?”

“No?”

“Then yes I am.”

-

“Question, what colour is this wall?”

“Gray?”

“*** tell them what colour you think it is.”

“Dark white..”

-

“Baby boy! Baby!”(friend/lover)

“Evil.”(Sibling of friend/lover)

-

“Hey **! How was your day?”

*Eats raw onion whole* “Hell.”

-

“We’re going to (type of) store?!”

“No it’s midnight, (type of) store is closed.”

“We’re going to rob (type of) store!?”

-

“I left 100 bucks in your room. Clean it and you’ll find it.”

-

“Anyone want a coffee?”

“A light roast!”

“…”

“You’re kinda ugly..”

“Not what I meant…”

-

“I’m a nice person…But I am about to throw rocks at these people!”

-

“*** did it again!”

“(Major crime)?”

“What no-“

“(Major crime)?”

“NO- JESUS CHRIST HOW MANY-“

“Uhhhh (Major crime)?”

“No! She/He stole my leftovers..”

-

“We sure your dong this right?”

“Nope!”

“Nice.”

*Something goes wrong*

-

*throws water bottle at ** *

“Hydrate or diedrate!”*runs away*

“Is he/she okay?”

“She’s/he’s trying to yell good mental health and well-being into us.”

*in other room* “I APPRECIATE YOU ALL!”

*starts tearing up* “It’s working..” 

-

“If I was a drink I’d be (drink). What would you guys be?”

“I’d probably be bleach.”

“I would be sewerage.”

-

“I would like to inform you that I don’t dab. I stab.”

-

“I know where you live.”

“Where?”

“In a house.”

“Wrong, an apartment!”

-

“What’s your opinion on polyamory?”

“Men pretty.”

-

“***’s a better cook then me.”

“No, what *** does is take the physical manifestation of bliss and sneak it into food, that's not cooking, that's straight up witchcraft.”

-

“It’s not a panic attack believe me I know what those are like. This is in fact just an existential crisis.” 

-

“Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?”

-

“If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.”

-

“I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are.”

“Okay?”

“…”

“…”

“Actually it’s gonna bug me if I don’t, so—“

-

“Given the circumstances, I will let you hug me for four to five seconds.”

“Forty five seconds?!?”

“No! I said four TO five seconds.”

*hugging ** *”Too late.”

-

“Don’t say a word.”

“Fergalicious.”

“***, I said no words.”

“Oh, I see how it works. Two weeks ago, we’re playing Scrabble, it’s not a word, now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you.”

-

“How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on ** without him/her noticing? 

“Hey, **, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.”

*takes and swallows tracker* “Pay up, loser. “

“...”

-

“** I’ve organized your messages into three categories.”

“‘From ***’”

“‘Death Threats’”

“and ‘Death Threats From ***’”

-

“When do I get my own gun? 

“I wouldn’t trust you with my kid’s lightsaber.”

-

“What if mayonnaise came in cans?”

“Well, that would suck because you can't microwave metal.”

​“Good morning to everyone except these two people.”

-

“You have my word. On my honour.”

“You were stripped of any honour you might have held the day you proposed to me.”

-

“If ** thinks he/she can just bat his/her cute little eyes at me and get whatever he/she wants, she/he is absolutely right.”

-

“I didn't drink that much last night.”

“You were flirting with ***.”

“So what? They're my partner.”

“You asked if they were single.”

“And then you cried when they said they weren't.”

-

“Wanna piss off the authorities?”

“Do I? You bet I do!”

-

“No you can’t leave!”

“Not until I force you to!”

-

“Another day, another slay.”

“Ooh someone's feeling confident~”

“No, I just got back from battle.”

“.....oh”

-

“Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, **!”

“You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.”

-

“I saw some people I haven’t in a long time and some people I wish to never see in a long time.”

-

“To who ever told me ** was here, had me looking crazy. I’ll find you.”

“Keep looking. Not looking crazy, looking for who your looking for. Or do both.”

-

“Am I in your way? Should I move?”

“You choose.”

“I choose?”

“Or you can stand there as decoration.”

-

“Did you do that?”

“Oh shoot- he/she’s on to me..This is when we gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss.”

-

“Look at that person. Their right in the edge of the cliff. Someone could just push them off and pretend they didn’t.”

“That’s called an intrusive thought, and we don’t say those out loud..”

“We don’t? Why not?”

-

*playing badly*

“Hidden talent! Keep it hidden!”

-

“Are you okay?”

“Are you crazy?!”

“I mean probably, why?”

-

“He/she’s only (young age) old and I can already tell he’s going to be stupid.”

-

“Send in (work/important document) today or forever hold your peace.”

-

*hands present*

“Dog treats?”

“Yeah cause your acting like a dog.”

-

“Kill yourself!”

“My new favourite *** quote.”

-

“I'm never having a debate with *** again, he literally started his argument with ‘Riddle me this’”

-

*on top of a building doing the Chicken Dance*

*on top of another building doing the Macarena*

What are they doing?”

“I . . . I think they're communicating.”

-

“**, I’m sorry. I can’t keep seeing you anymore.”

“No shit, you’re always wearing sunglasses.”

“**… no…”

-

“Heading to (fast food) what you want?”

“I want my family/friends back.”

“Yeah I only got 12 bucks.”

-

“Who the fuck-“

“Language!”

“Whom the fuck-“

“No.”

-

“What do I get?”

“A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.”

“Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.”

“It won't be you.”

“I'll get my coat.”

-

"if hes upset he can go look at his bank account to feel better" 

-

“Do You trust me?”

“With most cells of my body..”

“Why not all?”

“I mean- how you seen the things you do?”

-

*watering plants*

“*says something really dumb*”

*sprays with water*

“Oh sorry I mistook you for a cactus.”

-

“Any idiot would know that.”

“I knew that!”

“See?”

-

“Oh my god we thought you were dead!”

“It’s called a nap! I am sleep deprived!”

-

*something kinda bad happens*

“I think this is my super villain origin story.”

-

“Good people are dead. Evil b*tches rise up!”

*starts floating* “wtf- what’s happening?!”

-

“Hey, ***, you're blocking the view.”

“I am the view.”

-

“***...”

“Oh no, '​***' in B flat. You're disappointed.”

-

“Your eyes are so pretty..”

“Thanks. *puts on glasses* They don’t work.”

-

“Text me when you’re home safely.”

“I’m home dangerously.”

“Stop it.”

“I’m home lethally.”

-

*sighs* 

“You bored?”

“Yeah.”

“Wanna start drama for no reason?”

“I thought you’d never ask!”

-

“i have to kill myself”

“im going to kill myself”

“let’s all kill ourselves”

“killing myself would fix me”

“i need to get a man pregnant”

-

“***, why does your bucket list have ‘Die’ on it?”

“So I can die feeling at least a little bit accomplished.”

-

“listen, pardner. this bed IS big enough for the both of us so come cuddle already”

 -

“Hi I’m bi and I’m ready to die.”

“But I’m pan and I’m ready to slam- myself off a bridge.”

“Hello, I’m trans and I’m about to get banned.”

-

“Does this child have parents?”

“Yes.”

“Who then?”

“Me.”

-

“No homo.”

“Are we sure about that?”

“No comment.”

“Don’t tell the church!”

“We never tell the church!”

-

“Oh, please, you wouldn't hurt a fly.”

“You're right. Because a fly is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to hurt anybody.”

“You, however, I would maim.”

-

“Stop doing that.“

“Stop doing what?”

“Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.”

-

“You really push all my buttons.”

“I’m just looking for mute.”

-

“I'm tired.”

​“You slept for three hours last night! Why are you surprised?!”

“I'm not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.”

-

“Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way”

-

“You guys singing?”

“Yeah!”

“You got stop. Please stop.”

-

“Getting arresting cause I’m homo!”

“Homicide.” 

“What?!”

“Slays for the gays!”

-

“No one in their right mind” well thankfully for you I’m in my wrong mind”

-

“I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by a spontaneous musical number.”

“No- this is the eight time this week ***!”

-

“I love ba-sketti!”

“No it’s PAH-sketti!”

“Guys it’s spaghetti..”

-

“You drink too much, swear too much, and your morals are highly questionable.”

“…”

“You are everything I’ve ever wanted in a best friend.”

-

*sees cut that looks like a hickey*

“Oh.My.Gosh. You whore.”

“Not a whore if I’m married.”

-

This is for you Bunny(I KNOW YOU SEE THIS, DONT LIE)

I have been collecting incorrect quotes from IRL, things online or my own self. Have at it. I have to many and I really want to share :D

“You know, I used to think that ** was a bad influence on you.”

*arm stuck in somewhere it shouldn’t be*“Oh?”

“Now I realize that you both influence each other to do equally stupid things.”

“What has the world come to?!”

“Depression.”

“You can't make everyone like you; you're not **.”

“What? Not everyone likes **.”

“Who doesn't like **?!”

“Uh”

***, gripping *'s shoulders with the intensity of a thousand burning suns “Names, *, now. GIVE ME THEIR NAMES”

**(female) struggling to to open something so asks ****(male) to help but **** can’t open it so they ask ***(female) to help and they open it

“See ****, you have to become more feminine”

“What-“

“Cause even with barely any nails or with long nails the girls can open it better then you!”

“What do we say to the universe when we’re having a bad day?”

“How dare you seek to inconvenience me. I have been through things that you can’t fathom.”

“Why does it feel like the world fights me in every turn!?”

“Eat good food, happy thoughts come soon”

“Where is **?!”

“At very time and moment that is illegal to share-“

Honestly doesn’t take much to confuse me. I’m just a simple lad.

“YOU'RE A MONSTER! I'm so proud.”

“WHAT is wrong with you. It is so attractive”

"We're not dating, but we're devoted toeach other, and get jealous if someone hits on the other, but we are just friends"

“i'll cut your throat open, that'll shut you up!"

"you're beautiful...”

“Seems like I touch a nerve”*touches their own broken nerve* “AAAAH-“

"** brought emotional trauma to a knife fight”

“How much longer are we going to wait?”

“Just... give it a few more minutes.”

*  ** continues to forcefully push at a door that says pull on it*

“I just drove thru a rainbow” -*

“am I gay now?” -*

“a gay drive-thru?”-**

“Cheers!”

“To what?”

“To my most beautiful and amazing boyfriend/girlfriend!”

“Huh? What? Do you have another one?”

“By the power invested in me.. gay”

“This is the best financial decision I’ve ever made”

“What colour you want? Red or white?”

“Thats blue and gold.”

“OH- thats a mistake!”

“What colour are the balloons?”

“Red(white), green(gold), purple(blue)”

“I thought you were blind but turns out your blind and colourblind”

(Extra)

“What?”

“I literally just ask what was next.”

“Huh?!”

“Oh so you’re deaf, blind, stupid and colourblind!” 

“Oh i forgot your deaf, blind, stupid and colourblind! What don’t you have?!”

“Colours.”

“**, what don’t you have?”

“Brains?”

“What is this?! Vomit green!?”

“It’s olive..”

“It a mistake, that’s what it is.”

“Are you excited for (school name)?”

“Why would I ever be excited about school?”

“In my defence, I was left unsupervised!”

“I think I’ll die actually. Let’s try it!”

“You have to upgrade from a bystander and become-“

“A bully!”

“What you got there?”

*Very dangerous person behind them* “A smoothie?”

“Ah, yeah, I’ve heard about that! Rates are crazy in the States, right?”

“I’m from Canada.”

“Oh.”

“** you don’t have to talk. I have to talk.”

“If you push me, I can push you back.”

“No. You can’t.”

*in the other room*“Can I come out?”

“You’re gay?!”

“No! I can out like that last year!”

“I am a mosaic of every person I have ever loved”

“You Know other men/woman/gays and didn’t tell me?!”

“So, how did you two meet?"

“...You know, we actually legally can't answer that."

“As a members of the high gay council, he is gay.”

“Shout out to (person), gotta be one of my favourite genders”

“We'll blow up that bridge when we come to it."

"Nothing is getting blown up, **."

"The bridge is!" 

OR

“Not with that attitude”

“Remember guys, pain is just weakness leaving the body”

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade, make life take them back.”

“Aw, he’s cute and stupid. I’m keeping him.”

“He- he almost killed like half of us with that shit!”

“Shush.”

“Hey ** do you know about the autistic monkeys?”

“Wha- *laughs* N-nO”

“Good.”

*laughs* “that’s so funny, the autistic monkeys”

“I said Arctic Monkeys”

“Oh- *laughs* Y-yEah, I know the band”

“What- I mean monkeys that live in the arctic”

“Oh- we were not on the same page for this entire conversation”

“I DID IT! I MADE HER/HIM CRY!”

“In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you”

“I- thanks?”

“Who needs hygiene when you got cake?”

“Your horrible and I love you”

[sunflowerinpearls]

I’m gonna get extremely real and be vulnerable for a quick second.

Lily has been a handful since coming through the door yesterday after school. I don’t know what she’s going through because she won’t talk about everything, and I’m not forcing her to do anything. I’m telling myself that “My child is not intending to give ME a hard time; my child is HAVING a hard time!” Yet, here I am being triggered by own daughter’s words, actions, and behaviors because of the abusive environment In which I was forced to grow up in for 18 years.

Lily has told me several times yesterday and today to “Shut the frick up!” and has also demanded several different things. And when Derek came home from work yesterday he also had to have a serious conversation with her on the absolute disrespect she has for me. And it’s only me. It’s not grandma, papa, dad…It’s me. I get that I’m her safe place but I’d also like to not be triggered to the point of having to take extra Xanex. :// And I have to remain calm so I can calm her down.

I’m glad I’m learning how to parent better but it ain’t f***ing easy being a child of nothing but abuse, neglect and abandonment…and turning to the child that’s triggering you by screaming, their words, etc and NOT do what was done to me. It’s as if it’s instant reflex sometimes to do and say exactly what was done and said to me. So I learned that to be a better mother, I just need to walk away. And it’s true!!! It’s not a bad thing to walk away from a person of any age who can’t calm themselves and is in turn, triggering you…so don’t comment and tell me that I shouldn’t be walking away from my 10 year old daughter. You didn’t carry her for 39 weeks, 4 days. You didn’t hold and kiss and hug her first - her Parents did. You are not her parent or any of her care takers’, so either keep scrolling or keep the mouth zipped. 🤫

I am the adult here and it is my job to make my kids feel, number one, SAFE. Number 2 is loved. If you know how I’m raising my child(ren), you’ll understand why safety is my number 1 Priority and I’m not here to explain why right now.

I’m here to vent as a Mother who had to parent their 3 children and screw up a lot before finally getting it corrected. None of us are perfect parents because none of us are perfect people.

Only you know your kids.

And I’m here to keep mine safe, loved, healthy and happy!

When you know better, DO BETTER!

EDIT:

Lily went to grandmas. No hug or kiss for me. She’s holding a grudge. Idk what to tell her. She can’t treat me like that and me want to be around her. We respect each other in our house.

And last night during the family discussion, I had to interrupt Christine and correct her for telling Lily “You can’t treat people like that in their house” and I said “Wait. Im sorry to interrupt you, but I have to. This is her house, too. And yours. And Jacks. And Daddy’s. And theirs (and I pointed at all of the pets). It is everyone’s home and we need to treat each other with respect. Please continue.” And she said “Well you’re right” & did continue lol