#i actually genuinely miss drawing finished stuff
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i am genuinely so apologetic if u are here bc of some drawing i did,, i promise i am an artist and i draw it’s just like ALL uni work at the moment which is a lot of like? early character design work and then. sketches for comic pages :(!!
#i actually genuinely miss drawing finished stuff#although i love thé work i’m doing at the minute#it’s just like. i’ve got nothing to post !!!!#i have all my design work from last semester but i need to change the formatting slightly#cause i want it to be a little different#idk i don’t love how i chose to lay out those pages#but i don’t have the time to fiddle around with it#ough idk
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Praying to anything that i can get on adhd meds before i start school next semester because i want to be able to learn in my climate change class so bad
#genuinely the hardest part for me is that i am so interested in certain classes and i cant for the life of me pay attention in them .#my brain shuts down and i get so tired i actually fall asleep#i have to be listening to music or drawing or something but thats distracting and i dont remember anything#pleeaase please for the love of goddd i dont have that many years of college left and i want to learn about the stuff im interested in#i already wish i could retake several classes#im not failing but only because i understand a lot of the subjects and i do things LAST last minute with minimal effort#and i am constantly forgetting assignments are due. i missed an entire quiz last semester and like 5 notes assignments#that i had already finished i just didnt. turn them in 😭😭😭😭#and im already do the minimum amount of classes i can take#and i KNOW ITS GONNA GET HARDER!!#and my therapist wont believe me!!!! or test me for adhd because she thinks its anxiety!! WHICH IT ISNT!! IM NOT ANXIOUS!!#sorry. ahem#hoping i can sort this out before the end of summer#vent#mad rambling#god help the guy with a history of mental illness trying to get neurodiversities diagnosed
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morganafayes bbc merlin fic rec list <3
hiiii here is a tiny little fic rec list i made for fun of some of my personal underrated faves in the fandom!! i've tried to avoid stuff that's already pretty well known + have a decent balance so hopefully yall might find some new stuff you haven't seen in here :)
the witch and the queen - toxic morgwen slay <3 very short!
in our quiet hour - i mean just read everything by lupinely. its all so good. its everything. they have never missed. id recommend 'castled' by them too... insane merthur fic. their dynamic is perfectly written. also their gwen character study mwah
heir - gen, arthur & merlin. genuinely have never once stopped thinking about this since i read it and it makes me sick :/
off the deep end - now THIS. this is good shit. toxic merthur modern au where they are exes and hate each other and hurt each other. finally someone who gets their specific brand of codependent toxicity. bbc merlin modern aus peaked here i dont care
swan down - nimueh ficlet about her relationship with arthur. gave me many brainworms............ please read it. its very short and it will make u crazy.
this graveyard - ok i havent finished reading this yet bc its like 10k. but its morgana/gwen and a rewrite of the whole dark tower thing which as you all know is the bane of my existence. society if the the writers had actually written that episode well etc etc.
i hear deserts heal your history - THEEEEE fic of all time. genuinely i have never stopped thinking about this fic ever. i have such complicated feelings on it. it makes me want to die and throw myself off a cliff at the same time. this is the morgana centric fic of all time genuinely she is done SUCH justice here oh my god but also. everyone is very mean to merlin. my poor guy..... :( in terms of morgana fics though. a must read <3 also great exploration of the mergana dynamic. reading this was truly where my mergana crusade started btw. also read their other morgana fic its absolutely fantastic (i havent finished it either though because im slow asf...)
living for the hope of it all - mercelot warriors come get your heartwrenching angst <3 i have more mercelot fics to rec if people want. i hate them and i love them
ouroboros - merlin/morgana. insane freaks at it again. my fave victims of lavender divorce
drawing lines - gwen character study which i <3.
the chakra of merlin - okkk this is a strange one. it feels almost semi incomplete because although it does. end. it doesnt really. its most interesting for its sci fi elements + character exploration which i find really interesting and well done. merlin is truly unhinged here in the worst ways. when is he not though
the huntress' heart - mithian/gwen slay!
tongue tied - yeah its another truth spell merthur fic... what can i say im basic. its very good though!
dragons! - morgana/gwen. super short and cute <333
#bbc merlin#im missing some stuff and theres def more but here are some underrated ones i loved! <3#i tried to rec stuff thats not super popular because i think everyone already knows the staple stuff. you know#morgwen#merthur#mercelot#mergana#<- most of the ships#merlin fanfic#e.txt
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breathing in a bag: oh god oh god oh god, its here NO ONE PANIC.
I think Seline and Zaya are about to hit a wall of feelings thanks to him being a Silly Rabbit and not telling her "hey baby, i'm like. dying." soooo can I request some sweet sugary seline/isaiah before we're hit with the steamroller?
Date
Very sugary.
Seline was sure today was somehow special for Isaiah. She just couldn't figure out why.
He knocked on her door at 10 am in the morning, asking how many daydream sessions she finished and if she was in the mood for breakfast - in bed. That he knew that she woke up early these days only to fall asleep multiple times to daydream new story scenes or poems amazed her.
Then he brought the English Breakfast restaurant-style breakfast that made her feel equally cherished and underdressed for the occasion.
Usually, they always planned trips and days they wanted to spend together. Today, he was all, "I got a surprise. Trust me?" His excitement was contagious.
And she had to say it was quite the plan. They went to the Albertina gallery, which had two new exhibitions, one with hyper-realistic photographs and one with a political comic-style artist. She loved going to museums and galleries with Isaiah. He was literally the only person in the world who not only tolerated her long gawking and reading of every info, but also discussed the pieces with her. They stayed at each drawing for at least 15 minutes. Matthew would have blacked down after the first two.
Isaiah was not just patience manifested, he seemed to enjoy himself. Whenever he got really nerdy, talking about the psychological effect of using only three base colours or about the historical background of the photographs or about the atmosphere of certain series of photographs resonating with certain kinds of people and brain signals...
Oh god. It was the most exciting thing. She loved watching him. She loved listening to him. She loved that they both had stuff to say, but it didn't feel like a competition. She loved she didn't have to fight to get to say something, that he listed to her. She loved she was genuinely and truly interested in what he would say next. Because she wanted to know his opinions and get fascinated by all the new things he knew.
Isaiah was the only one who could impress her with the stuff he knew. Most people couldn't, aside her professors.
Seline found falling in love incredibly hard. Connecting with people in general, really. In primary school, she was popular for knowing all Disney movies by memory and for thinking up new plays for the kids to play. But since high school, she liked teachers more than any of her classmates.
And how the hell was she supposed to choose friends? Her peers kept falling in love every second day or talking about said crushes and she couldn't phantom what they liked. What was so interesting about that? The boys were little immature screaming bags to her.
Friends that weren't boring we eternally difficult to find. She didn't connect with anyone over anything. Social media weren't her thing, reading wasn't a thing for them. Really, people that shared any of her interests or love for writing were mostly online.
When she did have friends, mostly her girls from primary school and the few sciency friends from university field trips —people she actually didn't find a drag to listen to— they said Seline had too high expectations for a guy. Like, if he was as nerdy as her, he would surely be a head smaller and she better make peace with him not being a looker. Settle down, girl.
She tried dating people, but damn, was it difficult to catch feelings. Why couldn't she feel a thing? The looks weren't that important and if they were there, she figured cringing whenever the guy opened his mouth wasn't a good sign. And when he managed to get through her rigorous list of questions and plans, because how else was she supposed to test their value and interests compatibility? - the emotion was missing entirely.
Universe, could you please, please, give me a person I could admire and feel something for? Anyone like that out there?
And then she met Isaiah.
They had lunch at a small but incredibly good family sushi restaurant. For the cake, he took her to her favorite confectioanry, though, on the balcony with an awesome view, and let her order about four different desserts, when she couldn't decide. Christ, even the place was expensive.
But Isaiah had a twinkle in his eye and a constant smile. It was very rare for him to be in a good mood so openly, like watching her was the most fascinating showpiece.
She couldn't protest anything he said with that expression.
Caught in the moment of watching him, all dressed up in a dashing suit, black hair with that gentle waves to it, green eyes set only on her, she reached over. Her hand went on top of his under the chin, then gently up to stroke his cheek.
"What mask are you wearing today?"
Isaiah kissed her knuckles, too happy to even mind the PDA. "The one I wear with you. I like it the most."
Seline couldn't help the blush, ducking her head. He was more social than her, always alert, always perceptive and adjusting to the situation. Charming gentleman, yes, kind, absolutely. But he could be funny and relaxed, or serious and scary, or authoritative and confident. Every person and group, every situation, brought out a different side of him.
It confused her at the start. Now, she found it fascinating.
Once again, she was tempted to ask what today was. Why was it special? Was there an anniversary she didn't know about? It wasn't a year since they moved in together, that would be in two months. The month they have been together for a year...that would be four months. What was this? They haven't even been a pack a year ago.
The cakes were excellent, but the sweetness and intensity of the different flavours overwhelmed her quickly. She slid her plate with half of the Strawberry Mouse Cake towards Isaiah to go to the Coffee Meringue Cake. They also still had the Apple Strudel and her favorite Mango slice tart. It felt like her birthday.
Isaiah was chuckling indulgently, finishing the cakes for her. Never a better chance to try so many. And the hot chocolates they made there were to die for. When she couldn't decide between that and the Caramel Machiatto, Isaiah ordered both.
"You are spoiling me today."
Isaiah gave her a blinding smile of satisfaction.
They went by foor afterwards, through the two nicest parks and Hofburg all the way to the Danube river. It was like Isaiah had it calculated, cause the sun was just setting and they were at the perfect side of the river to see it without being blinded.
He took her hand, fingers intertwined gently, as they passed bikes and families returning from bathing, reaching a nice molo halfway across the river.
Isaiah guided her to sit down before joining her, suit and all on the wooden molo. She watched him curiously, getting a bit nervous at how heavy the moment felt.
"The sunset is beautiful," she burst out quickly.
Isaiah raised one eyebrow at the remark, smiling. He leaned close enough to kiss her, but only brushed a lock of blond hair behind her ear. "Not as much as you."
Seline bit her lip, looking at him from under her lashes.
"I know beauty isn't that high on your priority list. And I know that's not something you want to be admired for. Not for anything you were given, not for magic or for your looks."
She ducked her head. His fingers lingered in her hair.
"I know you don't go about perceiving the world through physical sensations. You relate through your mind. You want intellectual stimulation to feel connection and interests." His hand still in his hair followed the line of her head to her neck. He cupped her cheek.
"Which doesn't mean you don't have feelings. They are so intense that you prefer to save them for later. Process them in private. That's why you don't need that much stimulation, working through the little details. Understanding yourself inside out. Body comes last and you don't put emphasis on it. If you focus on it, you get bashful."
She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks under his touch. His voice was silky smooth.
"Not that it's anything to feel ashamed of. But you feel comfortable with contact only after connection has been made. I have been trying to go slowly."
Which was true. He always let her set the pace. Make the first move.
"I don't want to scare you. And I don't want you to feel like you have to say it back." That was the first time he looked down, suddenly a little insecure, before lifting his gaze to hers again.
Her breath caught in her chest, pulse picking up.
"I love how your mind works. Constantly hungry for knowldge. Your thinking is so abstract and so creative and you are never bored, always working on some kind of thought project. Always halfway somewhere else," he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb.
"But I love everything about it. Your mind, your order rituals to keep yourself tethered to the real world, the way you read spoilers ahead to enjoy the same thing from different lenses, your broad view of things, your ability to look at things objectively but also understanding the emotion behind it..."
Seline was amazed how scarily accurate all of this was. She couldn't move under his touch, eyes getting wider.
"I love everything...about you." He looked to the side then. His fingers against her face were shaking. "Just thought you should know."
Seline shook her head, voice all stunned. "That's your new trick? You go all impressive psychology on me and analyse me, cause you know that will make you irresistible?"
Isaiah looked up, startled. "I wasn't-"
"You are ridiculous." Seline grabbed him by the collar and smashed their lips together. Her heartbeat was somewhere in her ears. It felt like she wouldn't be able to breathe if she didn't kiss him immediately.
"You know how hot I find it when you talk all smart. I had a feast of you today," she said against his nose, her hand reaching behind his neck to hold him more securely.
She said hot on purpose, cause that was a word she didn't use often. It was too vague and felt too...indecent. Some part of her was always scared of it, of being some kind of primitive animal only focused on the body.
But with Isaiah the body turned to a medium, the carrier of his soul. It was special because it held him inside, the lips that spoke to her, the spirit looking at her from his eyes. It meant something completely different, to feel this closeness. Touch became a way to express it, not threaten it.
Was she not saying it enough? How much she admired him, how much she enjoyed him? Being this smart and relaxed and doting?
"I'm a girl of words. I love words. And I love when you talk. You are never boring. I'm always learning something," she said, leaning forward to hide her face against his neck. "You have so many faces. So many masks. I want to know all of them."
Her lips brushed against the skin on the side of his throat. Isaiah shivered underneath her.
"I never felt this way...about anyone," she admitted quietly.
Isaiah took her face in his hands, making her look up at him again. "It scares me. It isn't fair to everyone else, how much I can love just you."
Why did that make her so incredibly happy.
Isaiah wrapped her in an embrace and just held her, letting their bodies take comfort from the touch while they both worked through the impact of those words.
Seline ended up leaning against his shoulder, his arm around her back as the sun set in front of them.
It was the perfect moment.
Isaiah's body jostled underneath her suddenly. His free hand moved towards his middle for a second before dropping.
Seline frowned, turning to look at him. She didn't have a good angle on his face, but her access to his throat was ideal. She could feel it bobbing as he swallowed.
She pushed her hand up into his hair gently. "Okay?"
Isaiah shook his head in denial. "Sorry. Just-urrrp-ate too much."
"Oh. All the cakes."
Isaiah suppressed another burp. "I'm sorry. Don't-don't mind it, please." His neck and cheeks went all red.
Seline chuckled, weirdly pleased. "I mean, it's kinda my fault. Kept pushing them to you." She leaned more into him, her whole side pressed into his.
Her hand went down around his back again while she sneaked her free one to his belly, tentatively pulling at his button up.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to ruin-"
"Shhhhh." She kissed his neck and then his jaw. "It's okay, baby. You couldn't ruin this in any way. This was perfect." Another kiss under his ear. "And it's cute, just so you know."
"You say the silliest things."
"I never say anything I don't mean," she corrected smugly. "You taking your walls down just for a bit. Around me. What's not to like?"
Isaiah huffed. "You can't-"
Her hand sneaked up to his belly, cutting him off. She let her palm rest on top of it, feeling the bloat under her fingers. Having him this close, his breathing a little ragged from the discomfort and emberssment made her insides dance.
"I love this. I love you. I love everything about you." Seline nuzzled her face against his cheek, feeling incredibly intimate. The contact, his sudden shyness. The little crack in that armor he still didn't quite take down. Or was that only her feeling?
"You don't have to say it so many times," he said, scratching at the top of his head self-consciously, turning his head to blow up the air from another breathy burp.
Seline giggled, drunk on the feeling. Feeling. She was feeling so much. She let herself feel it all in that moment, everyting she felt for him. It was a flood of mind-melting, honey-coloured happiness. "I can't say it enough."
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Oh my goshh- I just finished ep 39 of prime defenders. I was gonna wait till I finished the final episode to yap but I HAVE SOME WORDS THAT CANNOT WAIT
!!MAJOR BIG SPOILERS FOR THE EPISODE BELOW!!
I barely even know where to start- the beginning of the episode is like a haze to me lmbo, so I'ma just jump right in
William's death freaking SHOOK me. Like I was drawing with the EP in the background and I had to stop and just stare at my screen. I couldn't even process it for the most part. "Splits him in half" WHAT THE HELL
God and then Dakota afterwards made me want to sob. Grizzly like actually crying did not help at all- I feel so many things about Dakota, since the start of S2 every time something bad happens to him the way he reacts makes me feel genuinely upset /pos I just want to protect him at all costs, and hearing him cradling Williams body just about broke me
Man and then the spirit world stuff. I could not tell if this was genuinely the end of the character or not for a good portion of it. But then once he started fighting the samurai (I forgot his name I'm sorryyyy) that whole scene was fantastic! Character growth for the win! And the wisp powers are back!!!! I was actually really sad when he lost those and I've been praying he got them back somehow, and this was THE BEST way to do it.
And then the freaking Danny Phantom voice actor?!!?!!!! I've never seen the show personally, but I KNOW how important it is to William's character and Charlie. Everyone's reactions were great. Shout out to Bizly, seriously an epic DM
Ugh and William coming back, and just hugging his family. I was grinning ear to ear they make me so happy! They're all back! AND ASHE TOO! OH MY GOSH ASHE- THIS ENTIRE SEASON IVE JUST BEEN LIKE "I miss ashe :(" AND HES BACK
OK IM GOING TO GO WATCH THE FINAL EP NOW, SEE YOU ALL WHEN ITS OVER!
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Trembling Essence:💙Choice exploration + finished scenes💙
Hello and welcome new followers, here's an update on how things are going with the game! Firstly a big thank you to the sudden influx of support I got this week, I'm happy knowing people liked the little meme video I did! :,]
This post might be a little long since I had to rewrite a few things, I was trying to upload a picture of one of the new areas you can go in but I got an error and couldn't save what I wrote. :,S
Anywho, I mainly focused on quality of life changes and continued working with the one of the endings you can get at the start of the game.
I don't really know where to start but this ending took a lot longer than expected to really hit what I've been trying to go for. At first, it was going to have two different endings. I took out one of them because I didn't have much of a connection with it and I liked the idea of it being straightforward instead. When I went back over it, everything happened too quickly for my liking. To fix this I went back and added a few choices to at least give you an idea of what the area is like and how it effects the player(Y/N) while making sure the dialog transitioned correctly with what you see on the screen. It's nothing too wordy but I do like it a lot more than I did before. Even though this is still considered one ending there is a alternate version you can get depending on a certain choice. Towards the end I fixed up all the spelling errors I could find and happily enough, there wasn't many. For right now I'd say this ending is finished! Yay! x]
Here's one of my favorite CG's I drew for it:
I love how it turned out because I really want to do different angles and perspective through the terrain, I think this one is my favorite so far! :,,]
Here's a evening time version of it:
It's suppose to be raining in this image but I still need to practice getting the angle correct. :,,]
I'm also fixing/brainstorming up the second/third ending. This one will have two different areas you can navigate through to get an idea of where you are and a few hints of lore that will be referenced later on in the game. Those that have played the [Extended Demo] you probably know which ones I'm talking about. >;]
I already like the idea of them but for one of the paths, I didn't have enough time to branch it out and make backgrounds for it in the [Extended Demo] so here's a peek of a placeholder since I'm still sketching stuff out, nothing is finalized yet. :[]
Super close to the cabin section, yay! I actually miss writing/drawing out the segments in the cabin a whole bunch so I really can't wait to fix up that part once I'm done with the swamplands. :,,]
I said last week I'd post some of the new backgrounds/areas so here you go:
Kofi update:
I also had a small talk with my play testers and one of the things they brought up is that I should be promoting my ko-fi better so from now on I'll have little mini doodles doing so at the end of every game development post as a way to promote it! :] All donations and tips help tremendously while I work on the game. If you like what I create, please consider supporting what I do here! I was able to use previous tips to get a new wrist support brace when I'm drawing so a very big thank you to everyone who gave a tip! :,,]
Q&A / Ask box is open:
If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask here or on itch.io please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!
I enjoyed answering the asks I got recently this week! I'm trying to finish the rest when I can including the ones I remember that got deleted. There were some I genuinely couldn't answer because it would require me to mention major spoilers/the questions have spoilers in them. :,]
This post is getting really long now so that's all I have to discuss, thank you guys very much for all of the encouraging support this past week, I appreciate it a whole bunch! :,,]
#male yandere#visual novel#dating sim#yandere#itch.io#interactive fiction#illustration#digital art#te updates#yandere vn#vndev#anime drawing#renpy#gamedev#anime artist#indie game#otome#artists on tumblr#vn#digital painting
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Home sweet planetarium
(Rushed drawing by me)
Vox x masc!reader
Category: fluff
Word count: 504
Summary: You’ve been dating Vox for a few weeks. After getting cancelled on again you had enough and decided to bring the date over to Vox’s penthouse.
Warning: Light usage of cursing- it’s like one word, mentioned Valentino
The room was dark and chairs were set out perfectly to pull blankets over them. As you did just that, things were coming along. There was one more thing missing. Looking for a plug, you added the last perfect detail. A small star projector, making the interior of the blanket fort light up with stunning constellations.
To be honest you have had enough of Vox’s stressed and barely present attitude. If there was one thing you could do perfectly, it’s to prepare something nice and comforting. Something to ease the end of Vox’s long day. Soft cushions and blankets were layed out on the floor beneath the blanket roof.
(You were unsure if Vox had enough or even any comfortable bedding, so you brought your own stuff with you.)
Now adding the last few details you hear the elevator ding. Sudden excitement rises within you, wondering how your boyfriend would react. To be quite fair this is incredibly silly, but if Vox wanted something serious with you he had to deal with it.
“Uhh… what the fuck?” You could hear Vox’s voice echo through the room as he saw the odd fort. He couldn’t really make out why it was in his penthouse. All Vox could assume was that Valentino wanted to do something kinky.
You quickly crawled out of the tend and jumped up doing jazz hands. To Vox’s relief. “Surpriseeee~ I came over anyway- even tho you told me not to… yay?”
Vox just kinda stared at you and then back to the fort. He had no clue what this meant. Dating you has opened Vox to many things. One of them being silly and affectionate gestures for nothing materialistic in return. You caught onto that real quick walking up towards him.
“You’ve been working your ass off the entire week and I kinda missed you. I didn’t want to force you to do something that might exhaust you even more, so I thought why not make your home extra cozy?” You gently tucked your hand around his arm, pulling him with you towards the blanket fort. It did look ugly from the outside, you had to admit that.
Once Vox saw the interior of the blanket fort his heart melted a little. “Wow… this doesn’t look as shit as I expected.” He followed you into the tent, his gaze fixated on the stars. It was pretty odd to see something like that, especially coming from an adult.
“I know, I should’ve done this in your aquarium or something. How thoughtless of me…” You sigh out dramatically, dropping your chin onto his shoulder. The dramatic action more of a request of gratitude than genuine critique towards yourself.
Vox placed his clawed hand on your shoulder and lied back, pulling you down with him. The projected stars slowly and smoothly moving, earning Vox’s full visual attention. “This is quite nice actually… you shouldn’t have done something like that, you know?”
“Yeah, but I wanted to. Building blanket forts was one of my favourite things to do as a kid.” You shrug snuggling up to Vox.
A direct thank you would be too much to ask for, but his actions reflect his gratitude. You asked Vox about his childhood and that conversation turned into trauma bonding. Time seems to stop as Vox and you were just trapped in the (fake) starlight, eventually passing out into sleep.
A/n: Hello my beloved Vox simps and fanfic enjoyers! I hope you have enjoyed reading my sweet short fanfiction. I know that in the pole from yesterday smutt won, but I already finished this fluff fic yesterday and worked on the title drawing for it as well.
I’ll get working on the smutt fic next though! It might take a little longer cause I’m a little shy about it hehehe
Ps: Can we appreciate the little separators I made? It’s tiny Vox sending smooches :’)
#I FORGOT ABOUT THE TAGS#vox x reader#hazbin hotel#vox x oc#hazbin hotel oc#hazbin hotel vox#vox#gay shit#fluff#vox fanfiction#silly#adorable#blanket fort
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Yay I spent all evening on a sewing project that immediately was a huge fail and broke and I’ve never been more upset in my life I wasted time I could’ve been spending with my family working on something that now I can’t even show anyone because it failed I’m so sick and tired of trying so hard only for things I know how to do to work out so wrong it makes me feel like I never knew how to do these things in the first place. I hate everything I just feel like I’m not getting any better at anything I do I’ve been stagnant for years and in some cases I’ve degraded I feel like after 10 years my art isn’t anywhere near where I expected it to be and it’s just heartbreaking I feel like I’m just losing myself and theirs nothing I can do about it no matter what I do. I feel so ruined I don’t understand why this is happening to me.
well I’ll never have a disposable income so I really doubt I’ll ever make the art I truly want. Like I’ve found every cheap, recycle, accessible method of art supply curation and artistic creation and still theirs just something missing and it’s literally things I can’t afford that would make my art actually professional and I just don’t even understand how that’s the only issue. Like I can make anything out of anything and do so many cool skills I just don’t make things that look brand new and idk I feel like a lot of my creations are ugly it’s just annoying. Even when I buy like high quality fabric my issue is I don’t have a high quality sewing machine I have to hand sew things or just everything else is so much cheaper in comparison to the item I spent the most on that it just feels out of place and I’m just so lost on why people make making things look so easy but the reason their videos start off with a thousand dollar shopping trip of all brand new items it just magically looks a million times better. Theirs very few artist I follow or can find that create with low budgets and recycled materials I do but the few artist that do have a very established art style that incorporates that recycled look very well but makes it a brand new piece in a way it looks intentional. Like I can’t achieve perfect brand new, I can’t achieve artisan recycled, I’m stuck with just mediocre and only the stuff that has the least amount of work and the most amount of just purchased and put together things sells the best but the art I pour myself into just gets over looked or I just feel like it’s not really all that great to show off or like I don’t even want to keep it for myself because it doesn’t look the way it does in my head and I just feel bad throwing things away like I don’t have the money to just throw failed projects away so it’s just this big loop of being reminded I’ll always just be this poor artist and most of the people who buy art from me either feel bad for my situation or are utterly clueless about buying art and I was just reccomended by someone who feels bad for me so they assumed it would be a good choice and then they usually just ask for the most barren unlike me price ever and I put it out and just move along and they’re like hmm this is weird and doesn’t look like what you do because yeah even though I say I can draw anything that doesn’t mean I can promise you something in my style you asked for something you could tell by what I do that I don’t do that’s why it looks weird I tried but you like it enough to keep it just don’t really plan on getting art from me again because idk I’m not the most comissionable person for some reason despite feeling like I could make almost anything I’m asked. I’m just never asked…sadly it’s money related. My art just feels so stuck. Like I pride myself on what I’m capable of with what I have but it’s just alienating and depressing when I’m so over looked because my outcome isn’t brand new finished or perfectly artisan recycled. Too in the middle of those to look genuinely nice.
Do I even make any sense???
Xoxo- Switch.
#blog#blogging#personal blog#liminal reality#liminalcore#liminal tumblr#oddcore#strangecore#dreamcore#liminal spaces#art comms open#small artist#art commisions#traditional art#artists on tumblr#artwork#sewing#failed#failed project#i’m upset#digital artist#rant post#personal rant#sorry for the rant#mini rant#rant#art rant#artist rant#do I even make any sense#do i even tag this
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First time watching Voltron: Legendary Defender and documenting my thoughts
This is Season 4
S1-2 | S3 | S5 | S6 | S7 | S8 |
———————————————————————
<this one is going to be shorter, as I have only recently finished this season, and the grief is still fresh (lol), so the thoughts are only just starting to simmer. strap your asses in>
Pre-Season 4 Thoughts
-> Keith joining the blades is going to be a huge plot device, I feel
-> PLEASE for the love of CHRIST let that poor little girl find her brother and father. If they are dead dreamworks better be ready to catch these hands
->I’ve heard people claim this is the “last good season”, but i stay strong 💪 and will watch till the end
->wouldn’t the paladin switch not make sense now? Cus shiro is back as the black paladin and it makes no sense for Lance to be red like it originally had? If anything, he should’ve gone back to blue, and Allura to red, because Allura is very accepting/encouraging of shiro’s role as leader. I guess they didn’t wanna do it all over again. But I digress 🤷♀️
->im gonna miss my Pookie (🤍❤️🤍)
Post-S4
->do they do this every two seasons?? Have an epic battle where they have a big preparation and say it’ll 100% end the war but it doesn’t and something crazy happens after they win and it sets up the next season??
->FUCK YEAH PIDGE GOT HER BROTHER BACK IM SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP 💪💪🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏🙏🙇♀️🙇♀️
->^genuinely cried so hard during this scene. would’ve cried more if I wasn’t recovering from the initial shock.
->^cried during this one too, but it was happy tears. I could actually just do a whole reaction post to this episode alone. (if you want me to js say so in the rbs/replies)
->the callback to s1! “color-coded of course, because what are we? animals?” AHHH! I’m going insane I love these siblings sooooo much
->okay I’ll stop gushing over them now
->^only valid reaction to meeting Allura. Homegirl is beauty incarnate
->I LIED. im not sorry im never shutting up about them. SHE SHOWS HIM AROUND THE CASTLE AND TELLS HIM EVERYTHING AND EVERY DETAIL AND SHES SO EXCITED CUS SHE JUST GOT HER BRO BACK AND IS JUST RAMBLING ABOUT HER NEW HOME AND ALL THE COOL STUFF SHES BEEN DOING AND HES JUST LISTENING AND IS SUPER EXCITED WITH HER AND ITS SOOOO AMAZING AND ADORABLE AND I COULD DIE
->AND THEN HE TELLS HER HOW THEIR DAD WOULD BE SO PROUD IM DYING IM LITERALLY DEAD STOP.
->AND AND AND THEY WERE ALL WORKING TOGETHER W HUNK TO MAKE THE GALRA TRACKER THING AND THEY WERE BEING SO COOL WITH EACH OTHER AND BEING NERDS TOGETHER AND AND AND AJEUWNDUWJEBEURBDGWUDKAODHD
->okay. ive calmed down. i am normal and can be trusted to simply watch a show.
->^Get his ass, Zarkon. I needed his smug ass to be humbled so bad. Only time I will agree w Zarkon fr.
->i do NOT like Lotor. Can you guys tell already??
->THE SCENE WHERE THEY TRIED TO GET MILKSHAKES AND WERE SHOCKED TO FIND OUT THAT YOU NEED TO MILK A COW STOP.✋ 😭. My high-score on the giggle-meter went up by 300%
->bro I SWEAR shiro looks different. there’s just something about him. the hair gets a pass cus how good of a haircut can you give yourself in space, yk? but that nose scar is definitely a different shade #notmyrodrickshiro
->THE VOLTRON SHOW.
->^Just. That entire episode. It’s getting a whole post actually I need to yap about it.
->^her armor is colored in a way which makes it look both pink and red while making it look like a trick of the light in a way to symbolize that she is acting as keith yet while being a paladin herself and that being unknown in the public eye and showing how they have to cover that up, any suspicion being thrown as a trick of the light. Oh vld animators ily 🫶
->on another note tho why do they always draw lance and shiro to have 30 pounds of ass. what.
->loved when those lesbians decided to take down lotor. Queen shit 💋 we stan 🙇♀️🙏
->Lotor is so stupid and pathetic and annoyingly smug and sus and admiral-zhao-y and I hate him but he’s SOOO FREAKING HOT and I can’t hate him completely because he’s so attractive but that just makes me wanna hate him more. He’s a walking red flag but the flag is heart-shaped and honestly idk what to do w that.
->^WHAT. stop. honestly that’s the real reason he was banned from the empire my ass would not want that fucking FREAK within a 30 light year radius of me either
-> while s3 was the klance season, s4 is apparently the allurance season, they have a lot of sweet moments. (granted all started by lance but still, you can almost see allura swooning)
->^pookie. what are you doing… pookie.. no. stop. i don’t like where this is going…
->^POOKIE NO. STOP. ✋ STOP. SAY SIKE RN.
->^oh thank fuck for Lotor.
->^^wait what. why Lotor.
->^^^heartbreaking: worst person you know doesn’t something good for once.
->he definitely wants something out of this. I don’t trust him.
These are thoughts I’ve had compiled for some time now. I will continue to post my thoughts on the tag “laura’s first vld”
I finished this season on 06/30/24. I am on S5E3 as of today (07/06/24)
#laura’s first vld#voltron#voltron legendary defender#vld#holt siblings my beloveds 🤍����🧡🤍#people should talk about them more I love them already it’s literally been like 2 episodes of them interacting#klance and allurance are like kataang and zutara i fear#meanwhile keillura fans are like zukaang and shallura (yes laura found a new ship!) is like zukka#I love comparing this show to atla and lok#it’s like a love triangle (aka love corner) but instead of the girl it’s lance#do you guys think ill reignite a ship war genuine question I don’t want that to happen#but i digress#you guys should tell me if you’re excited about something I could “react” to btw#like “oh boy I can’t wait till you get to <xyz> episode”
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Spoilers for LMK Season 5 Episodes 1 and 2 (again) below the cut!!
Better audio! Let’s go!
The intro, my beloved!
Tired MK, nap now or you may never get the chance.
“Way batter monkey mountain” I missed that before.
SpongeBob style zoom in is hilarious
“I already said the thing!”
SWK wants MK to be as immortal as he is, of only so they can play fight without him holding back at all. I can feel it.
They destroy mountains in the show more than anything else.
MK, The Small Sage of ignoring his problems until they go away except they never go away.
“A surprise?” The fact that this many thousands of years old monkey is so excited for surprises is adorable.
Mac doing his lurking.
“You really are the worst mentor” Mac, I love you, but you are not any better. Remember the anime style video game?
“We” will get me every time.
I kinda wonder is LBD was actually the one to like, fully bring Mac back or if someone else did and he doesn’t remember.
“You need to do better” you’re not being super fair there, like SWK is trying. Maybe step up and also be a monkey mentor if you’re so concerned.
Pigsy doing his fast little hammer trying to get it finished faster.
MK, if you weren’t ready why did you call him over?
The house!! Genuinely hope nothing happens to it this season. (Tell me it’s not gonna become this shows version of the Bounty)
I was so distracted my the pictures I didn’t notice the drawings!!! OMG!!! MK you’re the best!!
Love Mei in those overalls BTW, super cute.
Hugs!!!
It’s funny that MK can activate Tangs power for him.
It’s interesting to see that the only major difference with the animation is the characters. Like the cinematography is still really similar. It’s just rigged animation now.
If anyone has any insomniac!MK getting comforted by Pigsy (or any of his dads) fic recs, please share them because this is the good stuff.
Also MK is the anti Steven Universe. Steven collects moms and MK collects dads. (But obvs Pigsy is like number 1 Dad. Pigsy gets the worlds greatest dad mug and Tang, Sandy, and SWK all get mugs that say “backup dad” and then a number in order of when he met them. Because I think it’s funny.)
I love how Pigsy knows forcing him to bed is 100% the wrong thing to do here. Like this is something he’s dealt with multiple times.
MK cooks like I do. It’s okay MK, I don’t know how to freestyle either, that’s why I’m the baker of the family.
The animation shift of the food that’s missing something and the finished thing is so nice. I lost how it shifts from looking bland to looking SOO GOOD.
I want those noodles.
Baby MK!!
I would die for Pigsy. Like, he’s such a good character.
I wonder if the burning of FFM is canon and if Mac helped save all the baby monkeys. That would make sense as to why they cling to him.
Every season MK gets further and further for a good nights sleep, for only pennies a day, you could sponsor a monkie kid and help him receive a nap. In return, he will be well rested to prevent monsters from destroying the city.
Team Let MK Rest!
Little monkeys are scared. It’s okay little monkeys, they won’t destroy your mountain this time, probably, maybe.
Episode 2 time!
Took a break because internet was being mean to me. (Wouldn’t load)
Have I mentioned how much I love the new intro?
SWK is unimpressed with the lords of the underworld’s intimidation tactics
I love how MK still uses/wears Monkey King merch even though they’re friends now. Do you think SWK has a closet full of unreleased merch he has saved to give MK as gifts? Because MK would love that.
Mac is also unimpressed. Very “been here done this before”.
Ace attorney MK!!!
“We have brought a power even greater than yours” *brings out Nezha and Li Jing* did you guys read JTTW? Because like…beating these guys was how SWK got recognized as the Great Sage Equal to Heaven.
Cheeky monkey
The panic in Mac’s eyes when he realizes what’s happening is fascinating.
I kinda wonder where they got the fillet, cause in the book they were given to Guan-Yin by Buddha. I doubt Buddha was like “you need to subdue the Monkey King again? Yeah sure, have this super powerful thing”
Also SWK still trying to comfort MK even when dealing with this thing.
Your honor, they are divorced.
Tang is the only one who can teach MK anything.
Painted style sections my beloved.
“It’s his lawyer bit.” They’re both so used to MK’s antics
SWK’s obnoxious younger brother vibes whenever Nezha is present are my favorite.
Heaven getting flashbacks to SWK’s last rampage
I think there should be a running gag that MK’s style and Sandy’s style are total opposites so every time MK rebuilds something of Sandy’s there’s a little chibi Sandy mourning the new look. It’s be funny.
You know Mac, if you just portaled Wukong into the truck sooner you probably wouldn’t have gotten caught.
Also sad SWK face will always get me.
#lmk#lmk season 5#lmk season 5 spoilers#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid season 5#Lego monkie kid season 5 spoilers#Rav watches LMK#using that tag for these posts because
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hi neli!!!! you probably noticed how i was going crazy in my tags over ur art jghkkjg, i just now remembered that asks exist and that i should drop in to say smth first of all, i LOVE your art!!!! ur style is suuuper cute, and your silly little mice drawings are some of my faves in the patb fandom💕 i'm especially happy abt seeing a bunch of sleepy snuggling ones, i literally think about pinky and brain cutely sleeping together all the time but couldn't find any fanart like that, so ur blog is like a dream come true to me!! like honestly i saw them and went 🤯🤯🤯😫😫🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰 i genuinely love all artists in the patb fandom bc there's a tooon of wonderful talented and original ppl, but ur style is definitely one of the cutest imo, i looove when ppl draw mice fluffy and with huge ears!!!! i think it partially reminds me of bunnies, so they end up looking like two coolest rodents at the same time!! aand that also makes ur dark pinky fanart cooler, because dp looks adorable but is still a bad bitch so it kinda creates a contrast of sorts jgkhj i love that sm but like mice aside, ur woy fanart is so cool?? AND YOUR WARNER SIBS ARE ACTUALLY AMAZING???? i kind of wish you would draw warners more just because they look so nice in ur style (its okay tho if u want to just draw gay mice i totally respect that💯💯) also this is a bit unrelated but i was sooo surprised to see someone reblogging m&m stuff kljklkjljl (as in мастер и маргарита), не каждый день тут встретишь ценителей русской культуры 😌 anyway, amazing blog, amazing art, amazing taste in music (against the kitchen floor is literally pov brain realised that he's way too avoidant and you can't change my mind), u are very cool and i'm glad i found u on here👍👍 with love from blooky💜
OH MP GOD. For your information im not used to receive so many compliments at the same time and I’m kinda overwhelmed, but in a very positive way. THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH ???? Drawing eepy snuggling mice is something I’ve been made for, that’s kind of my favorite genre of brinky art </3 I’m glad you love my art style, too, i love drawings the mice with huge ears, they’re so silly <3
I actually want to draw Warner sibs more, i just still didn’t completely develop an artstyle for them, but i miss them so much.
Also THE MASTER AND MARGARITA APPRECIATOR??? I literally FELL IN LOVE with this book the second I finished it, not to mention that I’m a huge Russian classics enjoyer in general, but Bulgakov has some books that i can reread many times and not get bored. Кстати русский я тоже неплохо знаю (8 лет жизни в России дают о себе знать) :3
Anyways. THANK YOU. SO SO MUCH. YOU LITERALLY MADE MY MORNING, MIGHT AS WELL A WHOLE DAY. IM LITERALLY SOBBING /POS. PLANTS A SMOOCH ON YOUR FOREHEAD THROUGH THE SCREEN /p
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I've been meaning to watch Jujutsu Kaisen. What got you watching? I just finished season one of Delicious in Dungeon.
Ahhh I’ve been watching/ reading it since the first season! I originally got into JJK because of Gojo… I didn’t even know who he was but I remember scrolling on twitter and seeing someone with a cropped closeup of Gojo’s face from vol. 4? But I remember being too shy to ask this person who he was/ what series was he from lol. I remember seeing the art and thinking “not to sound weird but I really love how this guys teeth is drawn…” and so, I reversed image searched the drawing and wala!
This was a few months before S1 had even gotten announced, too. I remember pulling up the manga and reading a few pages and not getting all that far (I was being lazy tbh.) but then, the anime had gotten announced and I was like “wait, isn’t this the series that I just found out about a couple of months ago??? It looks fun :0!!!” But even then, I still hadn’t started on reading it until after the second episode was released lmfao.
I actually ended up binging the manga in one night and at the time, there were only about 50ish chapters available so I was literally fiending for more if I’m being real 😭… I was so crazwkskakal. I wasn’t too nuts about Gojo originally (I was definitely a FAN but I remember being so normal about him during S1’s original run lmfao. The things I’ve said about that man… I’m a Gojo girl unfortunately….. I’m still kind of normal about him though. He’s a very well written character and deserves all of the love he gets as a character kakakak. It’s so easy to like him!
I do tend to stay away from fandoms in general (I’ve done this ever since I’d started to use social media) but especially regarding the fans of the stuff I actually enjoy. Outside of the classics like Naruto (always in my heart…) and such, I haven’t really enjoyed a new age shounen and series this much with my whole heart since JJBA (not new age but you get it) and if you’ve been following this blog for a while then you must know that I used to be such a huge fan of it! (I still am but I’ve calmed down… I miss it a whole lot actually. I still have to catch up with JoJolands… haven’t gotten that far tbh.)
DM is fun but I haven’t gotten all that far into the manga (only ever read the first chapter and that was years ago) but I watched the first 12 or so episodes and I really enjoyed them! Haven’t looked back (it’s hard to keep up with anime… and the fans make me not want to interact with it as much tbh…. JJK is diff since i genuinely adore it and I don’t interact with the fans at all anyway outside of a few mutuals/friends and I pretend everything else doesn’t exist 😭…… JJK fans are so 👎🏾 but I’m already invested so it’s a little too late for me to turn back 🫨.)
#tkf replies#sorry for rambling 😭#anonymous#jjk is def a lot… it’s not your usual shounen since it is relatively dark (it’s known as the dark three as well alongside csm and i think#hell’s paradise but I haven’t gotten too far into that even tho I really wanted to check that out…)#but jjk… you’ll def enjoy it if you ignore the fans/fandom in gen#the characters have a lot of depth and heart to them!#it’s very sad and depressing though because gege isn’t afraid of pulling the trigger and killing off his characters at all so that’s that…#and jjk is essentially a horror story as well which is really awesome and quite refreshing for a shounen tbh#similar to csm#I’m not selling it as hard but it’s definitely worth the read and watch! jjk definitely deserves all of the#praise that it’s heavily recieved over the last couple of years and I would not say this for something that isn’t worth it 😭#you should read the manga ahhh!!!
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Let's talk about Caligula Effect 2 and Milgram again today~ Though this may not make much sense or be hard to follow. Because still sick so I'm just typing stuff honestly.
I really like Cocoa #QP. She reminds me a lot of Mahiru. I've also finished Doktor's fight. To be fair I might have been a bit over leveled for it. So, he went down pretty easy. Yet, that's not the only reason I'm here.
I'm actually here to discuss how people put themselves and others into boxes and how that's impacted Milgram. This is something discussed over the course of Gin Noto's character story. Mostly showcasing how sometimes not having an exact box to fit into can cause a person emotional distress or to feel alienated.
There's discussion to be had around how labels and boxes are a way for some to foster not only a sense of community but a sense of self. Tangent I feel that this is why Caligula Effect 2 is very hit and miss for me because most of the lessons in it are things I already know. Plus, the narrative can be a bit more on the nose and leading than it was in the first game.
Something that makes a bit of sense consider how the first one was received. However, I tend to like the first games and Milgram's way of letting the audience draw it's own conclusions. Being put in a position where one has to think for themselves, and they only have themselves to blame for the conclusions they've drawn is far more invigorating to me then having everything spelled out for me. All nice and neat.
Yet, even though Caligula Effect 2 is very heavy handed in my opinion and this makes the characters rather grating in certain areas. There were still things that I feel went over a lot of people's head. That I feel Yamanaka is striving to hone in on through Milgram.
That thing being bias and idolization. Because the player is with the Go Home Club and those are the characters who the player gets to know through character episodes the audience leaves Caligula Effect 2 feeling more sympathetic for the Go Home Club members while it's far easier to ostracize and other the musicians.
The Go Home Club members direct parallels. Even easier for one to downplay how the Go Home Club members threat these other people within the narrative because through playing you learn more about these characters and feel as though you have adequate explanations for their behavior and the times they do end up lashing out.
The Go Home Club members end up lashing out a lot. In very unjustified ways where it's clear that they are taking out anger they hold towards themselves and their own personal situations out on the musicians. Hell Kiriko, flat out admits she did this to the second musician we fight. The only redeemable thing in that encounter is the fact that Kiriko and Pandora are doing the same thing in that instance projecting personal issues on the other party.
However, this continues to be a consistent issue the Go Home Club Members have when encountering the musicians moving forward. The most egregious examples of this being Mu-kun and Gin Noto in my opinion because Gin just hates on this guy and trash talks all his dreams when the dude is genuinely curious about why we want to leave.
Something not really fixed in my opinion by the implication that Gin was a fan of their music or them later. Like the treatment Mu-kun faces is so undeserved that the plot literally pulls a Deus Ex Machina to have him forget the last seven days entirely. Because he's still rightfully mad and doesn't give a fuck about Gin's apology after everything that occurred.
Because people don't need to be nice to you after you take all your personal frustrations out on them. Turning this whole ass other person with feelings into an object for you to release your hate and anger out on for a cheap bit of a catharsis is dick behavior and no one has to accept and I'm sorry about that after it's done to them. Just because someone is having a bad time doesn't mean it's okay for them to make someone else's time bad.
Yet, this isn't really something I've heard discussed when it comes to Caligula Effect 2. No one has gone yeah that was a very rude way for them to consistently treat the musicians. In fact I've been streaming it and most of the stream I've been a bit on edge because I've been seeing these assholes do asshole things. Yet, I keep being told there will be something that will excuse it later you'll find out why it was actually okay they treated people like this later.
While every part of me is like yeah I don't think there's much that excuses this behavior. I don't think there's one damn infallible reason to treat another person struggling with their own things the way I've seen these people treat others. While the game is completely showcasing that it is not okay to treat others like this regardless of what you have going on.
Through characters like Sasara, Shota, and literally how most of the group reacts to Gin's behavior in the planetarium with the same distaste and drawing of attention to the change in attitude that was shown towards Mifue's behavior during the Sweet-P incident. Like why are you so mad this isn't like you.
Yet, again because people have grown to know these characters through playing the game benefit of the doubt is immediately extended to them and a us vs them mindset is formed. Giving off this feeling of how could you be sympathizing with the musicians. How could you feel this treatment is out of place? I mean it kind of is but they have their reasons.
Cool what if those reasons don't justify in anyway how they treat others and by extension themselves to me? What if it is my personal belief that regardless of what goes on in someone's life they shouldn't make whipping boys out of themselves and those around them. What if childishly I believe living this way is unhealthy and unproductive? What if it's not excusable to me to deny yourself and those around you happiness simply because you've taught yourself to hate yourself without measure for one reason or another.
What if for as much as I understand where the mentality is coming from I'm at a point where I recognize that is not an excuse for how that mentality impacted others and at points could have done irreversible harm if someone didn't intervene? Which it gets to that point a few times actually.
Well, that's when the bias that Caligula Effect 2 seeks to highlight comes in. This is highlighted first through the glorification and idolizations of the original go home club and μ by X. What can a person defend just because they have a good relationship with someone. Just because they're someone's kid. How willing are they to assume the worst of everyone around them because everybody is someone pulling down the name of their favorite person.
Is enough for them to not care for humans without even knowing much about them? Is it enough for them to break into someone's else's mundane everyday- Dragging that person back to reality because they need the help. Because they need to prove mom didn't cause this and the mean humans need to stop blaming her for everything. How much is it worth to crush someone else's dream? How far are people willing to go to get what they want and does it matter what they do to get there? Do the ends justify the means?
Possessing someone else's body without warning making it so if the one did that were to die that person would die too. None of that matters. Talking all this good shit about people she doesn't even know lauding them on high just because of what mommy told you. The first go home club members were good people- That's a funny thing to just say without any firsthand knowledge. Mommy said so and that's enough? She doesn't even know these heroes that saved the world and showed her mom the error of her ways or what it took to get to that point.
Yet, X created this silly fairy tale of grandeur and good intentions. How childish and gross. I hope she grows up one day~ Then we get to the root of the issue with Doktor-
"I'd care more about one of you being sad than a bunch of humans I barely know."
Ingroup bias. Or basic favoritism. People are more likely to be kinder to those they view as being on their side and do more for those they view as emotionally important. Sound familiar-
"“Throw down”, someone’s value cannot be the same as another. “Throw down” should choose between superiority or inferiority."
This person is more important simply because I will it to be so. I think it therefore it is. I feel that they're more important therefore they are. Of course they had their reason for behaving in this way. I know this person well enough to say it was justified. I know them well enough to know they're good/can be good.
I don't want to questions if they've just been good to me, if they could be wrong, if someone could be a victim to them. Because that would mean I don't know a good person when I see one that would mean I could be bias. That would mean I could forgive something unforgivable if it was just attached to a person I liked- Oh, well that's just Milgram isn't it?
That's just like Milgram except instead of holding your hand to that conclusion Yamanaka is watching you leap towards it willingly this time. Because bias hurts. Bias is inherently unempathetic. Because bias will always create an us against them scenario. A Go Home Club in oppossition to musicians. It's much easier for the human brain to frame those in direct oppossition to them as wrong regardless of how polite they're being about it. Regardless of if they're about to be physically assaulted in front of you. Hell even if they were on your own side but it turns out cutting them down happens to be an easier way to your goal.
It came up in one that we were crushing peoples dreams. That there were people who could only get their happiness in Mobius. That there were possibly hundreds of thousands of people who could not do the things they could do within here in the real world. Without much pause and completely recognizing this was the case the first go home club continued forward with what they wanted. Because the only thing worth crushing another's dreams is a dream of one's own. Fact is if anyone wants to go home they have to come to terms with the fact that the dreams of some of these people are things that are absolutely impossible in reality.
That sort of person would have to constantly spit in the faces of those who may want to stay here to do that. Spit in the faces of the people this world was made for even. Never once discussing how easy it is to face reality when a person has one to go back to at all and never touching on the people who may not. At least as far as I know right now that's not happening but it might. Again in one we talk about this tentatively and the go home club feels bad but ultimately decides to leave because it's what they want to do. However, their is recognition of our own desires conflicting with and ruining the wishes of others.
Because virtual or real the reality is when it comes to the wishes of others someone is always getting the short end of the stick. Because not everyone's wishes can come true. Sometimes one person's wish conflicts with another's. Because of this there can never be a world without regrets. Because sometimes one person's happiness can be another persons misfortune. That can be a regret in itself.
Yet, that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive towards what will make us happy. Just because things are like that doesn't give anyone the right to step on others and end their lives just because they were having such a hard time. That's not fair, that isn't right. Everyone is having a hard time what makes this hard time so different from anyone else's? What makes it forgivable.
The only thing that does is that feeling in people's chest that tells them that they know this person. That there's good in this person that they have their reasons. The reasons they've projected on them, the reasons they can sympathize with, the reasons that make it all make sense in their book. Yet, those reason come at the expense of someone else's good name, someone else's life. It comes at the expense of dehumanizing someone in the worst way making them out to be a problem that needed solving instead of a person that was deserving of the exact same consideration being shown to the people that hurt them.
No one is above bias and that's why sin isn't easy. Milgram shouldn't be easy. It's not meant to be easy. People aren't easy- Relationships not only to individuals but groups aren't easy. Because easy things are painful. Easy things ignore the intricacies of a situation that people are usually suffering under.
Easy puts the fault on individuals instead of systems. Easy says the Go Home Club Members and the Milgram characters had to repond how they did because life was hard on them. They didn't have a choice. Conveniently without ever touching on why life was hard, if it had to be, who made it that way, the services and systems that failed these people over and over. Because why change the way things have always been when one can just put it on the individual to save themselves and choose whether or not that's forgivable or not later. Why think about it any harder when we can wait for a crime to happen and then administer the punishment?
Let's keep it simple. Sure they couldn't hack in their environment but others could so they're the odd ones here. Let's just have the punishment fit the crime and if I can forgive I can forgive. No need to think more deeply of it. That's how this has always worked. That's how Milgram is. It's how people are giving excuses to those they biasely like and having no mercy for those they don't. Be more bias because that's the best way to make it hurt more.
None of this is meant to be easy. Honestly, if it is for anyone then chances are they just haven't thought about it enough. Because bias isn't all fun and games. When a person is bias the only thing that comes from it is pain regardless of how positively or negatively they view someone/something. There are boxes and there are cages bias is a cage that doesn't help anyone.
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If going by the Destiny 2 content creator reactions and their fans of Lightfall then the greatest enemy to all is the concept of a Cliffhanger.
There people wouldn't be able to handle any non bing able media. If they had to watch Breaking Bad, any mystery story or what have you before Netflix i imagine they'd throw a fit
Yeah, I'm feeling the same. I genuinely don't know what people expected from a penultimate expansion. Talked about it before in regards to how the marketing for Lightfall may have been a little weird and how people ended up feeling misled by it, which is a fair complaint to have. But if we go further than that, I still don't know why people expected "all answers immediately" from an expansion that's clearly not the final one. We knew right away that this is not the ending.
This is a good opportunity to talk a bit more about some extra stuff which will be below, because I'm choosing mercy for people on mobile:
Another thing that gets me as well is that this is simply how Destiny always does the story. Like, it's a live service game and has been for 10 years. Campaigns are on a frequent hit-or-miss scale and aren't really all that expansive on their own anyway; a 3 hour campaign is NOT and never has been the totality of Destiny's story. As a matter of fact, like 90% of Destiny's story is told in written format with lore and side quests and other stories, not in campaigns. Campaigns are generally just the initial setpieces that shift the narrative in a certain direction with a singular event, but the majority of the story happens as consequences of that, over the course of years.
There's been so much stuff that we've been waiting for years to be explained. I always figured this as something that the Destiny community loves and expects. I got here only in D2 and only got into lore properly in Shadowkeep, so everything I knew by reading about Destiny's past story and community reception was that the mystery and the players coming together to figure things out was one of the main draws of the game. That's how I perceived the game, its lore and its community when I joined. As something where we work together to pore through texts to understand where things are and where they are going.
Actually, recently one of the biggest complaints going from Beyond Light and onwards was that Destiny has lost its mystery component. It's been a frequent and overwhelming critique of the story and seasons. How seasons are here to just quickly sum everything up in neat and presentable infodumps given to us by characters and lore tabs that tell us everything directly without any need for deeper engagement. This obviously isn't even fully true (Beyond Light's deepest mystery remained undetected and misunderstood by the majority of the playerbase and still is to this day (that would be Savathun replacing Osiris)), but overall yeah, certain things were absolutely streamlined in comparison with how lore was done before.
Like, no contest: frequent seasonal story drops that give us dozens of lore books, item lore, quest lore, dialogues and so on over the year that are easy to acquire and are readable in the game, as well as stories that happen weekly and are more engaging than just playing a 2 hour campaign every six months or every year have all done A LOT for the lore to be more approachable and less "mysterious." I put that in quotes because people frequently also misinterpret what "mysterious" means or at least aren't talking about the same concept. I've noticed that there's quite a bit of backlash for stories being resolved and character arcs being finished. To a lot of people, that's the removal of "mystery." In a sense, a lot of people want an endless story that never resolves but that gives just enough easily consumable fandom-related details that aren't really progressing the story in a meaningful direction.
But yeah. To end this tangent here, people have been complaining a lot about the lack of mysteries and wonder in Destiny. Which is just weird to me because that's just how stories work. At some point, the story will start resolving the mysteries. And yet, then came Lightfall which brought completely new mysteries and some of the most fascinating ones I've ever experienced in the entire Destiny setting and people just kinda... Didn't care. I attribute a lot of this to people just not recognising that they're no longer into the story all that much. They no longer want to engage with a mystery, they just want to see the conclusion. They don't have the energy or the interest to pore through the texts anymore or engage with the fandom or, indeed, wait for information to be revealed, especially if this isn't the type of stuff they like.
For example, there's a lot of fans of the type of gothic horror mystery about the Hive and Lightfall simply does not fit that aesthetic. And mind you, Destiny is famous for genre switching all the time so this is something that should be expected. But Lightfall's futuristic high concept scifi story that's about virtual realities, mind uploading, human experimentation with nanotechnology, bizarre alien entities that play with the concepts of consciousness and the nature of reality, and so on is something that a lot of people have no interest in. And as much as I want to say "skill issue," it's a matter of taste. It's completely normal to me that there's people who aren't into this. However, a lot of those people just refused to engage and then proceeded to say that the story is objectively bad, "worst expansion ever" and so on. Absolutely insane to me. Like, genuinely baby behaviour in my mind. The "upset because we're not about me" type. Meanwhile I've seen a plethora of people who have quietly, almost ashamed, admitted that they like this stuff more than Witch Queen. No one should be ashamed or afraid to say that.
And most of all, there was disappointment that a "new mystery" was started "too late" when things were "supposed to be explained." And first of all, things ARE being explained. Again, this is a live service game. It's updating over the course of the year. We've received so many explanations and threads to follow and read about and engage with while we wait. That's the whole point; keep the content coming over time. Second, for people who claim that "Lightfall's campaign wasn't complete," yes it was. The Lightfall campaign was to save Neomuna and stop the Witness from destroying the Veil. We did both of those, except the Witness deceived us (as it is known to do) and it never wanted to destroy the Veil in the first place; it wanted us to get there with a Ghost. And it ends with us falling for that deception (out of necessity of course: our hands were kinda forced. Brilliant deception in that regard) and losing to the Witness as it hijacks our Ghost and opens the portal (but we do end up saving Neomuna and have the Veil at our disposal now to start researching it). This is known as a plot twist: a big "oh shit" moment in the climax of the story where we realise we've been duped and we've done exactly what the villain wanted all along.
Which leads me to the third point, perfectly summarised by your ask and by a single word: it's a cliffhanger. Lightfall is the penultimate expansion in a ten years long story. It's a cliffhanger before the end. It's supposed to keep us wondering what the fuck happened and how are we going to solve this until TFS drops. It's supposed to question our place in the universe, our understanding of it, the nature of everything we've learned so far, the extent to which we were right and wrong about the Light and Darkness, as we prepare for the finale of the saga. I genuinely don't know which answers people were expecting to be delivered in a 3 hour campaign that would immediately tell you everything you need to know and then you'd put the game down for a year OR you would keep playing and seasonal stories would just be meaningless side stories that don't progress the plot (yet ANOTHER complaint about seasons that's been going on for a very long time and an unsolvable problem: people want seasons to be meaningful stories that progress the plot but also not meaningful enough so that they can be freely skipped without missing important story bits. These are contradictory statements. Both cannot be true).
And of course, it's completely normal if this just didn't work for people. It's an important distinction to make here; "I understand what it tried to do, but it didn't work well for me" is a completely different statement from "this was a bad story and the worst expansion ever." I've never seen this distinction being made as pretty much everyone only ever spoke about it in the latter terms. How the state of the story is awful and "dangerous," how the writers "dropped the ball," how things are horrifically bad and nonsensical and so on. In worst cases, it was straight up "Bungie should fire these writers." There's also a lot of people who claim wholeheartedly that they've understood the story, but then can't tell you what the theme was or they start going on about how Nimbus was a bad character who "wasn't even sad for Rohan," which immediately tells me they haven't finished the story. So I'm afraid I don't believe those specific types when they say that they understood it, but didn't like it.
Most of all, this was a REALLY long-winded way to say that this ask basically says it as concisely as possible: Lightfall is a cliffhanger before the end. It's SO important to consume more than one media and learn some media literacy. This isn't even remotely a long wait as far as cliffhangers go in general. We need people to stop expecting the media to get churned out mindlessly in quick succession for instant gratification. Hell, some would absolutely classify Destiny as being churned out quickly. And meanwhile we have players here losing their minds and crying and throwing things because they have to wait 3 months for a new season. Absolutely bizarre to me. Try waiting for a book series to continue for longer than ten years.
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I'm sure you've heard it before but I just wanted to say thank you so much for your attentive documentation, translation and obvious adoration for professor layton! Your work is truly a treasure trove for the series and it's incredibly generous of you to share it with everyone! Very excited to see your translations of the novels :) !!
Thank you so much for your message! There are indeed some times I look back on how it started-- Initially this really was all just for the sake of my personal fanfiction research, but whooooo boy did past me have no idea of the size of the rabbit hole she was about to dive into.
It's such hard work that it simply felt natural to share it and spare others the trouble! Especially if it also could give others the chance to not only use my finds for their own fan content (be it encouraging people to draw the underrated obscure character Jeremy Campbell, or... having people genuinely create content inspired from my puzzle theory??? guys it will never not be so, so flattering and wholesome 😭💖), but also maybe, just maybe, encourage them to give me a hand just a little bit hahahahaha. At the very least, I'm glad that my lore analyses are getting your brain cogs running every now and then, giving you new ideas and sharing with me deductions and observations I had missed!
I do wish I had more time to myself right now, because I am admittedly spending way more time than I'd like on stuff that is all at the same time tedious and Layton-related, but that I also can't "really" share here because it's mostly background tasks such as doing research on lost media and doing some coding and cleaning up my local files for the sake of making it easier to find X and Y content + sharing it ASAP... But the thought that it's all going to be worth it the day I get to share it with you all and that this is for the better good of the whole fandom is keeping me going <3
I do think I might need to make a priority that post I planned to write about how I do my translation work without actually being able to speak Japanese. Perhaps if I finish and publish that post some of you guys will be motivated to help me translate things faster 👀
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H, J, and P?
H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?: It really depends on what I’ve heard, but typically I prefer to read the manga if I really care about the story/want to get through it faster! However there are some cases like Land of the Lustrous or Jujutsu Kaisen where the animation is so good that I start with what’s out of the anime, then go back and read it to ensure I don’t miss any details. Or alternatively, I go to the anime if I just want it as a background story while I draw. I’ve been doing that with Attack on Titan recently, it was a lot better than I anticipated so I presume the general negative opinion I’ve heard derived from its overpopularity not the quality itself? Or maybe it gets really problematic or something, haven’t finished it yet. As for Movies Vs. Books it’s a similar situation, but I prefer books more generally.
J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until tumblr: Honestly, I’ve been introduced to a good portion of my recent fandoms by a friend of mine first, and then convinced to actually start them by tumblr art/my mutuals (mostly Quinn) so if I had to think of something that was genuinely introduced to me here… Good Omens? Haven’t watched it but I see them on my dash constantly. Oh also Witch Hat Atelier!
P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas): Tokyo Ghoul obviously,
maybe an AU where all the folks pulling strings and playing king (Arima, Kaneki, Furuta, Eto) somehow end up in a very uneasy alliance to take down V for good. They argue over the ultimate goal constantly, they all hate at least two of the others, nothing’s really going well but they do get stuff done… somewhat, but they hate each other’s methods and tend to end up fighting after ever decision, and very rarely consulting each other before. The only thing keeping them united is a common goal and wanting to die.
AU where Haise is sent with the Quinx to deal with Noro instead of capturing Shuu on the roof. Shirazu doesn’t die, neither does Kanae (unless Eto decides to dispose of them?) but also, Haise never stops dreaming. But, a King is needed anyways and thus he ends up tentatively playing the role despite shironeki continuing to insist he be let out. I thought this one up right now and I haven’t considered consequences to this yet, but I like it as a concept.
Don’t think I’m inventing this but, AU where someone, legitimately anyone, comes to rescue Kaneki in time, hopefully helping him steer away from the mindset of “No one is able to help me”
AU where Juuzou and Hanbee are a little too effective and end up actually killing Kaneki (or injuring him to the point where he’s unable to dragon-ify even after taking a bite out of Hajime, leaving him only with the strength to flee) effectively throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans.
Not an AU but do you ever think about the fact that every single crucial event in Tokyo Ghoul wouldn’t have happened if Tsuneyoshi was just actually a good dad.
AU where everyone has actually decent parents (This one’s a joke but I actually cannot conceive of it.)
AU were Hide, Kimi, or someone else is the person to get Ghoul’d instead of Kaneki and the consequences thereof.
Very self-indulgent AU where Koori gets kidnapped by Aogiri instead of/in addition to Amon or Takizawa (mostly just writing this here because I’d like to draw it maybe, thematically I’m not really even sure it would work for him to begin with, but I like drawing theoretical ghouls.)
Also not really inventing this but I’d also like to draw a Pokémon AU some time.
#miscellaneous not-art things#zeph answers questions about media/characters/ships#I loved writing this actually. My ideas aren’t spectacular but heck it I like sharing them!
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