#i actually am going to write a zachary fic

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

I don't really want Cassie to write a TLH next-gen story. The simple reason for this is that I think TSC should wrap up with TWP for a wide range of reasons.

But, if Cassie were to write any more big trilogies in the TSCverse besides short stories, I would want her to write a trilogy about Zachary. I love him.

[r4vn]

—BREAKING POINT

kaı x reader

w.c: 3,066

disclaimers: nsfw, 18+, unprotected sex (stay safe out there guyz), fem!reader, withdrawals, praise kink, use of cannabis, da weed, tension, fingering, smexy time, missionary (bc we love intimacy)

—synopsis: you notice how irritable kai has been throughout the day, and it concerned you. later that evening, you make your way to his room, hoping you could help him out.

a/n: hola :D i am very slowly getting back into writing. this is a fic abt kai having withdrawals!! this is not my best work it feels so...meh. this was actually inspired by a post weeeeks ago by an account that deactivated BUT I KNOW @uch3na REPOSTED SO TY SWEETHEART.. but i hope you enjoy :) all love ♡

「divider by @/cafekitsune」

everyone was off of the blue now. the air within the whole ship was heavy within this past week. new emotions and new feelings emerged to define everyone differently as the days passed. everyone began to show different personalities and likings. it sort of felt like, well, life was breathed back into them.

some kids ran the halls and some got ..busy with each other. you and your friend sela stuck to one another in the midst of the emotional chaos. you, her and a few others would keep up with your tasks and maintenance checks around the ship. chris, voted new leader, had a hard time trying to keep the troublemakers in check. the ones who would wander off during tasks or play around recklessly, affecting other's work.

"please, stop being idiots and get back to your plants." chris spoke firmly. zac dropped whatever he was holding in his hand and stepped to chris, scoffing.

"or what? are you going to throw me off the ship?" zachary taunted with a smirk.

"that can arranged." foretold chris, stepping even closer to the boy in front of him. zac's smile left his face after his words, wearing a more serious expression.

"enough! zac, take a break. chris, get back to your job at hand. for god sake, we don't need any more chaos." sela scolded while stepping in front of the two men. zachary reluctantly backed off, holding his hands up in a mocking tone. he walked off and the tension in the room immediately became lighter.

you looked at kai, who seemed to be on edge as he did his tasks. his forehead was glistened in cold sweat while tending to the vegetables. his fingers trembled ever so slightly. he looked agitated, anxious. you worried yes, but you decided not to bother him. you made a mental note to ask him later and walked away in the hall, sela catching up.

"hey, do you...you wanna do something ...risky?" you couldn't help but arch a brow. a smile threatened your lips and you nodded. sela immediately took your hand and began walking briskly in the halls. you two ended up going to richards room. you were amazed by all the things he had from earth such as photos, trinkets, and clothing. you knew nothing of this supposed beautiful planet and were amazed at the things he had.

"he showed me all these things, i don't know why. maybe because i'm chief medical officer, maybe i was most responsible." sela sighed before opening a medium-sized box of richards personal belongings. she dug under the photos to find an even smaller, wooden box and held it up with a grin. it was the size of her hand. you rose brow and grabbed it, opening the box to reveal rolled cylindrical wraps. an intense smell made your face scrunch up. it didn't smell particularly nice but it wasn't bad either. it had the slightest hint of floral notes.

there were 5 rolled, opaque cream-colored wraps with a grinded plant in it. you heard of it before, vaguely reading about it in your books. it was cannabis.

sela locked the door and turned on the room air filter. she then grabbed the box full of joints and the black lighter. you sat down on the floor against richards bed. it felt odd to you, to be in the room of the dead. richard's death was tragic, and it disturbed you whenever you thought about it. you pushed the thought away quickly.

sela placed the filtered end of the joint to her lips before lighting the opposite twisted end, igniting it. she inhaled slowly, pulling away from the joint to fully inhale to the back of her throat. her face tightened in discomfort before finally exhaling. she then coughed roughly, giving you thumbs up.

"im okay– i'm okay, it just burns." she strained.

"burns? what the hell is in it?" you asked, nervous at her reaction. you felt like a delinquent. you’ve never done anything like this before. "it's only dried cannabis. on earth, they'd dry the plant cannabis sativa or cannabis indica. when burned and inhaled, the active chemical, THC travels through the lungs to the bloodstream." sela passed the joint to you, causing a nerving ache to fill your chest.

"the decarboxylation process for the active chemical occurs between 200° and 245° fahrenheit." a staccato sigh escaped your lips, mentally hoping you don't die before you took a small hit of the joint. the hot air immediately hit the back of your throat and caused you to go into a huge coughing fit. your throat burned like hot coal and your eyes glazed over with tears.

"easy [y/n], easy. reel it back in, slowly," sela laughs at your reaction, slowly patting your back.

"clear your throat and take small breaths." you did as told, your hacking settling down to staccato coughs. you sniffled, wiping your teary eyes as you continued to clear the unscratchable itch in your throat.

"wow." you strained out, beginning to laugh. sela chuckled while taking another hit, holding it for a few seconds then exhaling.

"as i was saying," sela started jokingly. "the active chemical makes the human brain have psychedelic effects on the body." you get the joint again and take an even smaller hit, slowly blowing it out. "effects such as altered senses like slow movement and brighter colors, difficulty thinking, and psychosis when taking high doses."

you freeze and look at her with slight concern, glancing between her and the joint. the blonde giggles, taking the spliff out your hand so hit it.

"don't worry, this is a normal dose." she chuckled, blowing the fumes in the air above her. for the next ten minutes you share the spliff, occasionally tapping the ashes in the box.

the effects engulfed you like a warm fuzzy blanket. you quickly acclimated to taking bigger puffs, enjoying watching the smoke dance above you. as you continued, your eyelids began to feel heavy and your movement slowed. you and sela giggled every few seconds, feeling amazing physically. you felt like a cloud, but heavy like gravity was pulling you down.

"do you feel good?" sela asks, smiling with low eyes. you simply nod, suddenly beginning to laugh when realizing you didn't answer audibly.

"yes, i feel..good. i feel so warm and light." sela nodded and stood, stumbling with a giggle. she grinned and turned to you with a hand out. you grabbed it and forced yourself up, the blood rushing to your head. you took a deep breath to begin wondering how to look as sober as possible.

you were only 3 hallways down from your room, and you needed to look as normal as possible out there.

"thanks for this ..earth experience." sela nodded happily, opening the door for the two of you. you parted ways with her, and walked to your room in a slower pace. you walked closer to the ship walls to keep you from falling like an idiot. your gaze was low and you felt so suspicious. but you couldn't second guess yourself. you kept walking with your eyes to the floor. almost there..one last turn and–

your head collided with something firm, and warm. you stumbled backwards but due to being intoxicated you fell completely on your ass. your red, [e/c] eyes looked up at dark brown ones.

"kai?" you asked and stood up with a hand on the wall.

"watch where you're going." he replied roughly. you scan his person, noticing his shoulders moving up and down. his breathing was deep and rough, and sweat glistening on his face and neck. he looks distressed, and even more fidgety than earlier.

"are you ..okay?" you asked, ignoring his snarky tone. kai furrowed his brows, lips parted from panting ever so slightly. your low orbs trailed down to the beads of sweat on his neck, then too the veins of his forearms were more visible against the surface of his skin. your head buzzed and you gulped thickly, a warmth building up in your core.

"im fine–.." kai mumbled, blinking rapidly. "just...just watch where you're going." the brunette pushed past you, walking away.

you watched as he walked away, staring at his back.

he has a nice back...

you continued to walk and finally made it to your room with no more obstacles. sitting on your bed, you watched the stars out the window. they seemed much brighter, nearly shining in your eyes. you enjoyed this feeling. you felt euphoric and everything fell away from your troubles. finally laying down, you let the slumber take you.

°°°

waking up much more clear-minded, you blinked your eyes noticing they didn't feel as heavy as before. your mind immediately went back to kai. you couldn't help it. you immediately get up and out on your shoes, exiting your room.

you walked the halls silently. it was late in the evening and so no one was awake. you made your way towards kai's room and stood in front of the door. anxious filled you now, knowing that only a door is what separated you and the brunete. suddenly, his door immediately opened and were now facing kai himself. he immediately froze for a split second before slamming the door in your face.

your heart dropped before hurriedly spluttering over your words, knocking this time.

"kai– i know this is abrupt im sorry but–" you rambled.

"what do you want [y/n]?" he asks behind the door, voice laced with irritance.

"i–...i wanted to check up on you. i didn't think you'd be awake at this time heh– but you looked unwell all day today." you laugh sheepishly, fiddling with your fingers.

"im fine." he cuts in. you purse your lips and sigh, turning your nose up to the ceiling.

"heh, you suck at lying kai. just tell me what's wrong." there was a long pause. you were giving up on the door opening anytime soon and nearly took a step back before kai opened the door. he simultaneously turned away while doing so to walk to his bed. you enteted and closed door behind you rubbing your neck at the unbearable tense silence.

"..so," you sighed gently at kai's stubbornness not to look at you. "what's wrong?" kai doesnt turn around, nor answer.

you don't say anything else and instead examine what you can see. his breathing was still ragged and his hands clenched and unclenched into first every handful of seconds. the light from the low LEDs that trailed the space window gently outlined his figure. his nape was glistened from cold sweat. kai wasn't alright. something was wrong.

"..kai–?" you asked. kai groaned softly, rolling his neck out of agitation. your heart thumped loudly in your ears.

"[y/n]–.. i think– ..i feel weird. i-i feel hot." kai reluctantly explained. "ive been like this all day i– ive been irritated and uncomfortable all day. im sweaty and trembling and–..and my stomach right here feels.." he groans out, holding his core. it wasn't in a painful sense, but in a discomfort yet, yearning one. your body pulsed at the sound he made, causing you to take a step towards him.

"does it feel warm? too warm? do you feel a light fog in your head?" kai strained another whiny groan, holding his nape as he turned a 45° angle to look over his shoulder at you. he hesitantly nodded. he was trying so hard to be tough but had a needy look in his eyes, a gaze of hunger. you didn't know if it was the cannabis still in your system but you felt magnetized to him. the aura he radiated made you feel like small prey in front of an apex predator, but you enjoy the sense of thrill.

"well not to sound creepy but i've been sort of watching you all day. you seem to be having withdrawals, kai." you explained, walking towards him. his hand raised up to his forehead, humming. you placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling the brunette flinch then relax again. you then decided to walk around him so you faced his front now, your big [e/c] looking up at him. kai forced himself to look at you but it only worsened the warm feeling in his core.

"what are you feeling right now kai?" you questioned, your hand gently grabbing his hand to pull away from his face. he gulped, staring at you intensely. the way your hair was slightly tousled from waking up, how your skin looked so soft and supple and your eyes stared at him so enticingly.

"my head is all light, my abdomen burns, i have cold sweats, and–.." kai bites back his has words, looking away from you. you tilt your head and tenderly cup his cheek to turn him towards you again.

"and..?" you ask, genuinely concerned. kai swallowed thickly. he suddenly flushed a more prominent rose color across his face before replying

"and ...i'm so, horny [y/n]. god, you being here isn't helping." he breathed out. before you could even respond, both of his large hands cupped the sides of your head before kissing you deeply. you squeaked into his mouth, kissing back as your hands gripped onto the sides of his clothed torso. he moved closer to you which caused you to move back, falling onto the bed.

"i couldn't stand looking at you all day because i couldn't take this pent up feeling [y/n]," he gasped between kisses. "but i can't take it anymore now, i need you now." you blushed deeply as you began to fail at keeping up with his kissing pace.

kai slid in between your legs and pushed his warm body up against yours. he kissed down your face and neck, licking and sucking at your skin. you allowed him to do so before the two of you started pulling off each others shirts.

the tall brunette kissed hungrily down your chest as his hands roamed your torso. you gasped at the difference in body temperatures of you and him, closing your eyes in bliss.

"i've wanted to do this even on the blue. i just couldn't explain the feeling until i got off it." he mumbled against your skin. butterflies erupted in your stomach as he spoke in such a low, seductive tone. his hand slipped in between your thighs and you lost nearly all strength as he teased your already wet second pair of lips. he hummed into your neck as you let out needy gasps, the pleasure radiating throughout your body.

he entered two fingers, finally getting a broken moan out of you. you threw your head back onto the bed, nearly riding his fingers.

"good girl." he praised, leaving deeply colored bruises all over your skin as his fingers thrusted into you. you squeaked and moaned all over, trying to keep quiet due to it being so late. you could feel your walls pulsate around his long fingers, kai occasionally curling them to hit that one sweet spot.

"o-oh please– kai..kaiii–" you mewled, eyes watering from the amount of bliss you were in. he hushed you in a soft tone before slowly pulling his drenched fingers out of you. he lifted your head up to make eye contact with you and he licked his fingers clean.

"i'm right here [y/n]." he nuzzled his face into your cheek before planting a kiss. kai leaned up and pulled off his black pants and underwear, groaning as his hard-on bounced out from under the fabric. he stroked himself slowly to relieve some of the pressure before lining up at your entrance. brown orbs look up at you, silently asking for permission. you nodded eagerly, jaw slightly dropping as he pushed inside of you.

he was big, and thick. it burned ever so slightly but the pleasure overruled the pain. the ecstasy came in ways of pleasure as he slowly thrusted into you. your core tingled with warmth as he engulfed you. his sweat smelled like soft soap and you held onto his soft-toned arms for comfort.

"fuck–" he moaned out with a shudder. his eyes occasionally rolled back as he picked up speed. your moans became louder and you couldn't help it. you had never felt like this before. kai's hands trailed down to your hips and he leaned up to hold you in place as he rammed your insides.

"you're doing so good, [y/n]. there you go.." his voice felt like warm honey drenching your skin. it was like music to your ears and helped you edge closer to your climax.

"mmh– just like that, just like that–" you pleaded, nodding impatiently. you tilted your hips upward and it changed the feeling almost completely. kai was thrusting right up against your sweet spot. you moaned and whimpered and mewled all you could and became incoherent rather quickly. kai took notice of this and changed not a damn thing.

"you're so pretty under me [y/n]. i want you to finish all over me like a good girl, yeah?" he queried, a smile dancing on his pearly whites while erotic sounds occupied your mouth.

"yes. yes please– o-oh–" kai quickened his pace but kept his position, watching as you began to tremble. you made a face, signaling you were about to finish. watching you act so erotically made kai all pent up too. he tried his best to keep his pace, focusing only on you.

"oh god i– ..kai– ..i'm–" you cut yourself off with a loud shaky moan, your walls constricting around kai. your legs shook violently and your hips bucked wildly under his arms. your eyes flashed a brief white and you hear kai mumble a 'fuck' before feeling his cock puslate inside you.

"god–.." kai groaned, dropping his head below his shoulders.. his thrusts became shaky and eventually slowed to a stop. a comfortable silence fell over the room with only the sounds of panting occupying it. kai looked down at you, smiling cheekily. you couldn't help but giggle.

"you okay?" you asked, stroking his cheek with the pad of your thumb.

"yeah. i feel ..better," kai laughed at the slight coincidence. "round 2?"

you blushed and grinned, nodding before kissing the brunette above you again.

© r4vn ²⁰²⁴, do not repost my work.

see yall later :")

[semperama]

Hi Erin! I also have the Sunday Scaries, so this is a good distraction for me, too.

top 5 ideal Buddie-first-kiss scenarios

top 5 favourite snacks

top 5 ships you've shipped

wanna tell me about the ryliver bet fic we talked about ages ago and how that's going, if it's going? :D

Ahhh what great questions, thank you! I'm sorry you're also feeling anxious today. <333

Top 5 Buddie first kiss scenarios:

In, or immediately after, peril. Sorry, I just...am such a sucker for the desperation of the "I might lose you/I almost lost you" moment. Something like, they get separated during a big fire and one of their radios isn't working and they're losing their minds, and as soon as they find each other again they run into each other's arms and spare like 3 seconds to paw each other checking for injuries before smashing their faces together. It's about the build-up of tension and the catharsis!

Eddie realizes that he wants to be with Buck during a domestic moment where Buck has just helped with Chris's homework or cooked them a meal or something like that, and they're having a quiet moment in Eddie's kitchen, and Eddie just crosses the room and kisses him.

A reversal of the Buck coming out scene where Eddie comes out to Buck, and Buck congratulates him and everything, and Buck goes to leave, then turns around, and you think they're going to hug like they did after Buck came out, but instead Buck kisses him.

Similarly, maybe Eddie goes on one (1) date with another man after coming out, realizes he's in love with Buck halfway through said date, shows up at Buck's door, and kisses him.

I don't think the show is realistically gonna have anything happen between them before the Chris-comes-back-to-LA arc is resolved, but I certainly wouldn't complain about a reunion kiss personally. Especially if Eddie doesn't tell Buck exactly when he's gonna be back and surprises him and Buck kisses him out of sheer relief and joy.

Top 5 favorite snacks:

Fresh fruit. Particularly a tangerine or a really crunchy apple.

Cereal! I'm a freak who loves healthy cereal like Raisin Bran but also I just ate a handful of Froot Loops so.

Popcorn. I love it with Old Bay or nutritional yeast

Peanut M&Ms

Rxbars or equivalent-but-cheaper (lol) date-nut bars. The Good & Gather ones are great.

Top 5 Ships I've Shipped

Buddie. Since they are my current obsessions they are OBVIOUSLY the best.

Pinto (Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto). The ship I was into when I first joined tumblr and probably me overall best fandom experience. <3

Dick Winters/Lewis Nixon (Band of Brothers)

Kirk/Spock. The OG!!

Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen (Formula 1)

And they Ryliver bet fic is still going! Slowly, but it's going, lol. I actually worked on it a little bit last week for the first time in a while. Writing has been a little harder lately, but I promise I won't forget about it and really want to finish it! Here's a snippet for you:

It’s not like he’s never thought about Ryan like this. Aisha was right; the Buddie of it all bleeds over, it can’t not. When Buck is looking at Eddie’s mouth, Oliver is looking at Ryan’s. When Eddie is touching Buck’s shoulder, his back, it’s Ryan fingers warm through Oliver’s clothes. So yeah, when the cameras are running, and maybe sometimes when they aren’t, Oliver’s thought about it. But now it’s like—it’s like when you’re trying to ignore an itch. A bug bite or something, one you know will only get worse if you scratch it. But the more you try not to think about it, the more annoying it is. Ryan takes up twice as much space in any room as he did before. Whenever he moves, Oliver’s gaze follows him, tracking the tips of his long fingers, the shape of his mouth as it forms words. The air between them carries a current, crackling across Oliver’s skin. Has it always been like this? He can’t fucking remember. He doesn’t know if everything’s changed, or if he’s just noticing it more, and he hates it, the idea that everyone else can see something he can’t.

[purplebass]

OKAY GO OFF ABOUT YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS FOR THE THOMASTAIR STORY

CC said their story is like a romcom which is one of my comfort genres so I want them to be super domestic and fluffy 💜

breakfast in bed <3 or cooking for each other

Alastair playing the piano and Thomas singing!!!

exchanging glances from across the room and needing to leave the premises to kiss

dancing even without music <3 (idk why but I love ships dancing)

Thomas looking at Alastair sleep and being inspired to write poems about his beauty

them going grocery shopping for their new house <3

one of them giving each other a message after a long night of patrol

speaking Farsi with each other!!!

having dinner together in Paris like in 1902

eating with their families and we actually see it

playing with Zachary!!! thinking about their future <3

there is a car on the BiB cover so maybe them using Matthew's car??? I am planning a fic where I hint about Thomas doing something with a car

There is more but these came up to my mind right now

[boogleboot]

crikey. a year since I started writing Fateheart. Roughly. What a time that was.

and still is, actually. it's not like I've stopped. The third book, second sequel to The Starless Sea, is in the works. I took a break from it the past months because I have been quite unwell, but it is called The Lotus Flowers and it WILL get done it WILL it WILL it WILL.

I also have Fever Pitch to finish, which is an interrim story that was going to go along with the rest of the collection of stories in the extended canon, but is actually rapidly approaching another full-sized book. (I think Fateheart has warped my perspective slightly on what constitutes a full-length story hahah.)

@erinmorgenstern are you aware that Zachary Ezra Rawlins has moved permanently into my brain? He has truly set up his entire life and his gaming desk in here and refuses to get out.

I've spent more close and intentional creative time with these characters - with Zachary, Dorian, Kat, Madame Love Rawlins particularly - than any others ever in my life and by golly I'm having a great time.

Erin pls read Fateheart and then have an extremely detailed conversation with me about Zachary's backstory, I have so many questions and also I want to know what you think of Leander.

Kidding. Erin owes me nothing. Though I owe her so much creative fulfilment at this point I would hardly know where to begin.

I've always wanted to be a writer, and I've known forever that the way to be a writer is to write. Only in the last year have I fully and confidently begun to claim that I am, in fact, a writer. And that is thanks to The Starless Sea. Some of this fanfiction is the best stuff I have ever produced, and I am very, very proud of it.

(Shoutout Death in the Valley, my beloved.)

Currently editing the latest Zachary/Dorian story to go up on Ao3 later today. It's called 'The Man Named Sky' and it is, courtesy of Katrina Hawkins, another dumb contrived time-travel plot (she loves them). I like this one a lot. It was supposed to be short, and I still think it's short, but it also turned out to be around 27k words, which my friends assure me is not, in fact, a short fic.

Ever onward, ever upwards. Book 4 is already in the planning, and then who knows. My mother keeps telling me to apply my attention to original works but until I have thoroughly and entirely worked through all my many, MANY thoughts about Dorian, I simply shall not be able to, I think.

And I'm having too much fun.

Gonna try to work on Fever Pitch (Set 5 years after Fateheart, 6 - or 9, depending on how you count it - years after The Starless Sea) while I'm at home for two weeks. It's an Alice and Wonderland-themed Starless Sea story, so that's going to be fun.

I have several other little gems to bash out for the extended Fateheart canon collection, and Lotus Flowers rolls slowly ever onward in the background like a slow-cooker pot with a dull red light that fills the kitchen with a slowly growing scent of herbs.

I am a writer!!! I have so many things in progress and so many things I am excited to work on!! And literally all of them are from or about The Starless Sea!! Haha!! WHat!!!!

Anyway. Thank you, Zachary, for the matcha latte drink by my side right now. Thank you Erin Morgenstern for writing a very fun book I like very much. Thank you to my discord besties for being so madly supportive and lovely about everything I write. Thank you to the academy for this little golden statue. Thank you to Mhatma Ghandi for peace and love on planet earth. Thank you Jennifer Coolidge for empowering women everywhere what no what let me finish my speech le t me hELP--

[theweasleysredhair]

If You Love Me Let Me Know [S.B.]

Character: Sirius Black

Word Count: 4050

Requested?: Yes/No

Summary: Y/n decides she isn’t going to wait forever for Sirius to make a move... maybe he needs a nudge in the right direction. In which Sirius gets extremely jealous over the prospect of Y/n going on a date with someone other than himself.

Tags: @gracemayhateyou @criminalyetminimal @lenalxvegood @iprobablyshipit91 @potterverseimagine @slytherineheir @kpopgirlbtssvt @rexorangecouny @awritingtree @hemmoporro @thisismysketchbook @acciotwinz @shadowsinger11 @aaannabbanana @lestersglitterglue @anyasthoughts @lxncelot @harrypotter289 @starlightweasley @slytherinsunrise @valwritesx @hufflrpuffforfred @cappsikle @kiwi-sloan @potter-redheads @pigwidgexn @twinkyjohnson @sarcasticallywitty15 @tyyyweasley @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @wonderful-writer @marauders-loving-queen @vogueweasley @marvelettesassemble @thisismynerdyself @gcdric @loony-loopy-lupinn @gloryekaterina @tinylumpiaa @girl-next-door-writes @locke-writes @susceptible-but-siriusexual @inkhearthes @sehunasbitch @nkjktk | message or send an ask to be removed! unfortunately, my taglist is closed until further notice due to hitting the max. amount allowed on one post!

A/n: is this me... writing for sirius? oof it’s been a while, huh? anyways this was a fun lil fic, hope you enjoy!!

~*~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK! REBLOGS ARE ABSOLUTELY FINE! <3

+ + + + +

“I just don’t understand how this could happen!” You wailed dramatically as you followed Lily into your potions class, “Why me? Why do bad things always happen to me? I just, I can’t deal with it anymore!”

Lily rolled her eyes good-naturedly at you as you fell gracefully across your shared desk, a hand over your heart as you mocked your heartache.

Your eyes were shut, a proven mistake as you heard your professor’s voice suddenly speak out in front of the class, “Miss Evans, could you please enlighten me with why Miss L/n is laying on the desk in such a fashion?”

You sat up on said desk, eyes wide now and mouth dropping open as you realised the students already in the room were staring at you.

“Someone ate the last piece of toast at breakfast, sir, and she’s being dramatic about it,” Lily replied monotonously as you scrambled to your assigned seat beside her.

“Well, Miss L/n, as much as we’re all devastated you missed out on your... toast... I would thank you to keep your eccentricities outside of my classroom, preferably far away from myself, do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal.”

The professor narrowed his eyes at you, and for a moment you wondered if he was going to take house points away, or give you detention - insolence, he usually told you off for. And speaking out of turn. Not particularly fair considering you didn’t think you’d said anything that bad half the time.

But then the professor’s attention - and much of the class’ - had moved to the group of Gryffindor boys who had ran into the room, out of breath.

They rushed to their seats, still laughing about something or other, ignoring the scolding of the professor, his requests for them to quieten down and take their seats falling on deaf ears.

Your eyes followed Sirius Black as he made his way to his desk - the one diagonally behind you - his long hair falling into his face, tie undone and shirt untucked, making your heart race as he shot a wink over at you when he noticed you looking.

Turning back down to your work, a smile growing on your face as you traced shapes on your parchment before you with the tip of your finger.

Sirius Black was both the bane of your existence and the love of your life. Dramatic? Perhaps. True? Most likely.

He was obnoxious, loud and extremely cocky. He also flirted with you - a lot. In fact, at a distant glance, you could be mistaken for dating, his arm constantly round your waist, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered sweet nothings to you.

It wasn’t a secret you fancied him. He knew, Lily knew - practically the whole school knew. However, he never moved to make things official, never asked you out nor mentioned any feelings, and after a year of that, you were beginning to think he just enjoyed your attention, rather than liking you the way you wanted him to.

The lesson began soon after the class quietened, the professor’s voice lulling you into almost falling asleep when suddenly you felt your hair moving around you, making you jolt up and flatten it back down. You frowned as you scanned around the room, your eyes landing on a cheekily grinning Sirius, and suddenly you understood.

“Stop,” You mouthed, still attempting to keep your hair from flying about around you, shaking your head at him.

He shrugged, as if he weren’t doing anything, an amused smile on his face at your constant attempts to keep hold of your hair.

As you turned back to your work, Lily nudged you and raised an eyebrow, shaking your head, “He’s trying to get my attention, I’m not sure what for though-“

“Mr Black!”

You jumped as the professor yelled out his name, eyes widening as you looked over at Sirius, who had a crumpled ball of parchment in his hands and appeared to be mid-throw, James laughing at him from beside him.

The professor grabbed the parchment and shoved it into his cloak pocket, before pointing at the dark haired boy, “10 points from Gryffindor for disrupting the class.”

“But-“

“And another 10 points for answering back,” the professor added on, his eyes darting around the class before landing on Lily, who was quietly continuing on with writing her notes, “Please change seats with Miss Evans - perhaps separating you from Mr Potter here will force you to concentrate on my class.”

Sirius’ eyes lit up as he realised he was moving to be sat next to you, “Not a problem at all, professor!”

Lily picked up her belongings and headed over to sit besides James, her seat quickly being taken by Sirius, who couldn’t help but grin as he caught your gaze.

The professor resumed his lesson, leaving Sirius free to lean over to look at your work, frowning as he saw all your notes, “As if you’re actually listening to that boring old fart.”

You rolled your eyes and pulled your parchment away from him, “Unlike you I want to pass my exams, even if he is a boring old fart.”

Sirius watched as you wrote, your eyebrows furrowing just a tad in concentration, gripping your quill as you moved elegantly across the page.

“Too bad you didn’t get the chance to read my note,” he spoke casually, watching the professor march up and down at the front of the class.

Curiosity got the better of you and you placed your quill down, “Why, what was on the parchment?”

He shrugged casually, shooting you a lazy grin as he leant back in his chair, “Might’ve been me asking you to come join me at the Black Lake later tonight.”

Your heart sped up and your breath caught in your throat as you turned to face him, bringing your bottom lip between your teeth. After a year of dragging it out, did he finally just ask you out?

“With you? Uh, sure,” you replied in what you hoped was a nonchalant way, hands nearly shaking as you picked your quill back up.

“Great! Should be good, Prongs is bringing Lily, and I’ve already asked Marlene and Dorcas...”

You didn’t hear the rest of his sentence as you felt your heart plummet at his words. You swallowed harshly, staring down at your parchment and willing yourself not to react.

He’d asked other girls too. Of course he wasn’t asking you out. He never was.

The end of the lesson finally arrived and you quickly grabbed your things, not bothering to say goodbye to Sirius, instead heading over to Lily, who linked you as you headed out of the classroom, leaving Sirius and his friends behind.

You were laughing at something she said when you heard your name being called from behind you.

You turned slowly, half expecting to find Sirius, however you instead were met with a rather attractive Ravenclaw - Zachary Bryant, if you recalled correctly - nervously biting his lip as he arrived just before you.

Lily squeezed your arm and whispered an “I’ll meet you in the library” before heading off down the hall, leaving you in the emptying hallway with the brunette boy.

“Zachary, right?”

“Yeah!” He nodded a tad too enthusiastically, almost in excitement over you knowing his name, and you smiled at him warmly.

“How can I help?” You asked with a small shrug.

Zachary opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, as if thinking what to say, as if he didn’t think he’d get this far, before finally speaking, “I was um... well, you’re really rather pretty, and of course smart and funny and- and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to... accompany me to Hogsmeade this weekend?”

He was extremely different to Sirius - a polar opposite in fact, shy, earnest, kind - but maybe that’s what you needed. If Sirius wasn’t going to ask you out any time soon, why not go on dates in the meantime? Zachary was sweet after all, and super cute with his curly dark brown hair and sincere smile.

“Sure!” You replied, making him breathe out in relief.

“That’s amazing! Thank you! I mean- I didn’t expect-“ Zachary stuttered, the tips of his ears turning red in embarrassment.

You laughed, enjoying how flustered he was getting, “Not at all, I’m looking forward to it!”

***

James slid into the chair beside Lily, pressing a kiss to her forehead before nodding over at you in greeting.

“Abandoned the rest of your entourage?” You asked with a grin and a raised eyebrow, wondering why the usual motley crew weren’t following behind him.

“Couldn’t find ‘em. And Padfoot has the map. Thought I’d find you two in here, so well, here I am,” he gestured to himself with a grin. To be fair, he was right - you and Lily could always be found in the library. Mostly because when you needed to get work done, the place was usually Marauder-free.

“Ahh, so you didn’t want to see me, you just couldn’t find your friends?” Lily asked with a smile, gently nudging him.

He threw an arm round her chair and nodded, “Yeah, that’s right, that.”

You shook your head at him, though couldn’t help but laugh at your best friend’s boyfriend.

“Did you set a day to go?” Lily asked, shaking her head at James and instead continuing your conversation from before he arrived.

“Well Zachary said he’d meet me outside the Great Hall on Saturday afternoon and we’re gonna go to The Three Broomsticks, have a nosy round some of the shops, maybe grab some food. Should be nice!” You grinned at her.

“Wait, you’re going on a date?” James raised an eyebrow, sitting up straighter in his chair and removing his arm from Lily’s in shock, “With Bryant?”

“Yes I am,” you nodded, clearing your throat and looking up at him, finding him narrowing his eyes at you, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Babe, you’re Padfoot’s girl, he kinda called dibs,” James shrugged as if it were no big deal, leaning back in his chair and kicking his feet up on the table. Lily nudged his legs, shaking her head at him and he reluctantly moved them back down again.

“What do you mean he ‘called dibs’? I’m a person not the last bloody chocolate biscuit!” You replied indignantly, crossing your arms over your chest and furrowing your eyebrows.

James widened his eyes a little, but continued with making his point. Besides adding the official labels, you and his best friend were... well you were together, right?

“He... well, he always says you’re his girl. Kinda made it extremely clear to the rest of the lads here. Or, well, most of them I guess, besides Whatshisface who’s asked you. You’re off limits to everyone else, unless they want a very angry Black to come after them,” he said it so casually, like it was common knowledge.

“Sirius Black, despite whatever he may have claimed, has never asked me out, nor made a move. As far as I’ve been made aware, he has no feelings towards me, none that he’s mentioned anyways, and that is why I have agreed to go on a date this weekend with Zachary,” you replied adamantly, anger seeping into your voice.

Lily reached out and grabbed the hand closest to her, giving it a squeeze. You offered her a small smile, before sighing.

“Look, I keep waiting for him to make a move... but if I’m waiting on him, I could be waiting forever. I don’t have forever. Zachary wants to date me now and, sometimes, a definite now is easier than a maybe later,” you shrugged, “Sirius... he knows how I feel about him. Everyone knows how I feel about him. I’ve made it clear. Very clear, in fact. He’s not done anything about it, which only makes me think he’s not really interested enough in making us more. I can’t just turn down other guys that are.”

You sighed, collecting your belongings from the table and shoving them into your bag. With a half-smile shot in James and Lily’s direction, you bid them goodbye, heading out of the library doors.

***

“You’re going on a date with bloody Bryant?”

You looked up from your place on the couch in front of the fire, where you were busy reading a book your mother had just sent you by owl, to find an angry Sirius, fists clenched, eyebrows furrowed as he practically glared down at you.

“Yes? Yes I am,” you replied simply, before looking down at your book, though you were no longer focused on reading.

Sirius collapsed on the couch across from you, elbows resting on his knees as he stared at you, not saying a word.

You sighed, closing the book slowly and placing it carefully beside you, “Can I help you?”

“Why would you choose Bryant? Of all people. He’s-“

“He’s sweet, he’s smart, and more than that, he actually asked me out. And I’m looking forward to going. Unless you can think of anyone else I should be going to Hogsmeade with?” You asked casually, yet pointedly, staring at him expectedly as he fumbled with his fingers, mouth gaping as if he didn’t know what to say.

“N-No... you should go. I’m sure Bryant will be a great date. Quiet, meek Bryant,” Sirius spat his name out as if it were poison, a snarl set on his features. He wasn’t happy, very obviously in fact, but since he didn’t say anything to make you not want to go on your date, you nodded.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a book to read,” you faked a smile and grabbed your book, opening it to a random page and pretending to read, ignoring Sirius’ presence.

He had ample opportunity to stop you going, ample time to have you to himself.

Too bad that he didn’t take it - that he never took it.

***

Saturday arrived quickly, and you were looking forward to meeting up with Zachary. Lily had helped you choose the perfect outfit, and you’d spent slightly more time than usual doing your hair and makeup. You took a last look in the mirror before grabbing your bag and lipgloss, and exiting the door.

You headed down the stairs from your dorm, dressed and ready for your date, feeling nervous yet excited.

The common room was empty bar Sirius, who was sat on the couch nearest the door, and a couple of first years. You felt your heart beat a little faster as you took in the sight of him - black jeans, black t shirt, hair messy from the amount of times he’d ran his hand through it.

He stood up as his gaze caught yours and you smiled a little at him, mouth opening as if you were going to say something, before closing it again when you realised you didn’t know what to say.

“You’re still going on the date?” Sirius asked softly, hands clasped behind his back as he rocked back on his heels.

You smiled at him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you replied, “I have no reason not to... do I?”

Perhaps it was foolish of you, to hope he would say yes. That you shouldn’t go because he didn’t want you to, because he wanted to be the one to take you on a date instead.

Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets and shook his head at you, though his mind was screaming at him to tell you to stay - with him.

“Have fun.”

You pressed your lips together and nodded, “Thank you, I will.”

With that, you turned on your heel and headed out of the common room, feeling like you wanted to cry out of frustration. You would’ve stayed in a heartbeat for him.

Sirius watched you walk away, staring at the door even after you’d long disappeared out of sight, before sighing angrily. He shook his head at himself, disappointed that he didn’t say anything, questions swirling around his mind.

Would you have stayed if he’d asked you to? Or would you have left him anyway?

He collapsed onto one of the empty nearby couches, letting out a loud, frustrated groan into a pillow and receiving a couple of looks from the first years, though he didn’t pay them any notice.

It was his fault, he knew, that he was feeling like this. Because he hadn’t said anything - because he never said anything. You’d given him the chance, and plenty of opportunity and he hadn’t taken it. From fear or something else, he wasn’t sure.

He stayed laying on the couch, face buried in the pillow, thoughts of you and this Bryant kid plaguing him. Would you kiss him whilst on your date? Sirius grimaced at the idea - he hoped not.

Time passed slowly, at least, in his mind, feeling like hours had passed by the time his friends arrived in the common room to join him, though at most it could’ve only been around half an hour.

He was pouting, arms crossed as he slouched in the armchair he’d moved to, grumbling things to himself every so often and completely ignoring half the things his friends were saying, not replying to James’ jokes or Remus’ witty remarks, and barely glancing at Peter when he offered out some of the sweets he’d picked up in Hogsmeade earlier in the day.

“Alright, what’s up with you, Padfoot?” James rolled his eyes, fed up of the lack of responses from his usual partner in crime.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Sirius mumbled, though anyone could see from one glance that he was not, in fact, fine.

“He’s mad because his girlfriend is currently on a date with someone else,” Remus said with an almost smug smile, half enjoying how grumpy and jealous his friend was being over the girl he should’ve asked out a long time ago.

Sirius shot a glare over at him, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“But you want to her to be, don’t you?” James grinned, moving to lie down across the couch he was on, arms resting behind his head.

“Yes... no... I don’t know!” Sirius sighed, sitting up and hugging a pillow to his chest, “I don’t know what I want, I just know I like her and I don’t want her out with anyone else. But I don’t know if I want a relationship.”

“Well... you couldn’t really expect her to wait around for you to make a decision on this, could you?” James said pointedly, nodding over to him, “As she said to me and Lily, she’s waited long enough. You’ve been stringing her along for over a year now. Either date the girl or let her date someone else.”

Sirius frowned at that. He wanted you more than anything, but was afraid he might hurt you accidentally, or let you down. What if he said something he didn’t mean and upset you? He couldn’t handle that. It was better to keep you as a friend, right? One that he flirted with a lot.

He sighed to himself, bringing his knees up to rest his chin on them. He wanted to be with you, all of his doubts be damned. Friends don’t wanna snog their other friend against a wall do they?

And that’s what Sirius wanted to do to you.

James words bounced around his head as he paced up and down the room later in the evening. His friends had retired to their dorm room, leaving him alone to wait up for you - you still weren’t back from your date and it was nearing curfew.

He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he paced, ideas of what you could be doing making his hands curl into fists and his heart pound.

Why didn’t he just stop you from going?

Why didn’t he just tell you how much he like you?

Why-

“Sirius?”

He looked up immediately, eyes widening as he watched you enter the common room through the portrait door, a concerned look on your face as you watched his frantic pacing.

“Y/n!”

All thoughts of what he wanted to say left his head, all he could do was stare at you blankly, glad you were back, and hoping your date didn’t go well.

“What are you doing still up?” You asked, your eyes taking in his dishevelled appearance, “Were you- were you waiting for me?”

Sirius swallowed, wondering how to answer, before words began tumbling from his lips, unable to stop himself, “Um... uh, yeah. Yeah I was. I’ve been waiting for you ever since you left. I shouldn’t have let you go on the date, I didn’t want you to go. I was just too much of a coward to say anything at the time. But I kept thinking about... what if he kissed you? Or touched you? I didn’t like those thoughts. So yeah, I’ve been waiting here like you’ve been waiting for me because I’m an idiot and didn’t do anything to show you how I feel.”

Your heart was racing. You’d wanted to hear those words for over a year now, waiting through flirty conversations and near-kisses, hoping he’d give a sign he wanted to be with you.

“And how do you feel, Sirius?” You asked tentatively, dropping your gaze to your feet.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. And I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I should’ve- I should’ve. And I don’t know if your date went well, or if you’re planning on going out again, but if you still feel anything for me, please don’t. Just... be with me instead.”

He ran a hand through his hair, swallowing again and he stood in silence before you. He’d finally said it - admitted to you that he loved you. His heart was pounding, waiting for your response.

“I’ve waited and waited and you never said or did anything. Why now?”

“Because I’ve realised that anyone could come along and take you from me and I don’t want that,” he admitted, his voice dropping to barely a whisper, “I wanna be the one that takes you on dates. That kisses you and touches you. Please let me be that guy. Please.”

You stared at him for a couple of seconds, shaking your head, then broke out in a smile and stepped towards him, “It’s a good job my date was just mediocre then, huh?”

His eyes shone as he stared at you, disbelief and relief running across his face as he watched you walk closer to him, stopping just in front of him.

“You know I love you Sirius. If I’d have known all it would take was going on a date with another guy to make you admit your feelings, I would’ve done it a whole lot sooner,” you grinned.

Sirius hesitantly reached out to grab your waist, pulling you gently towards his chest and holding you there for a moment, as if he couldn’t believe he had you in his arms.

He looked at you, eyes darting across your face, taking in your features as the corner of his mouth curled up into a smile, “Does this mean I can kiss you?”

“Yes,” you nodded, the word barely escaping before his lips were on yours, pulling you into a desperate kiss, one you’d waited a year to feel, pouring all the feelings he’d kept hidden into the kiss, as you ran your hand through his dark locks.

“Guess you’ve got official dibs on me now, huh?” You laughed as you pulled away a little, Sirius still chasing your lips, “Guess I really am your girl.”

“Damn right, and I’ll make sure everyone knows it. Especially that git who took you out. You’re mine,” his grip tightened on your hips as he rested his forehead against yours, smiling at you lovingly.

It may have taken him a year, but he was finally yours, and you were his. And as he pressed his lips to yours again, you smiled into the kiss.

This was definitely worth the wait.

[jynzandtonic]

Who are your favorite Adam writers for each character?

Anonymous said: Who are your favorite Adam writers?

                                         ..................

Hi, anons!

First off, I apologize for both the tardiness and the length of this post. Oops.

So, I’m going to out myself a bit on this. I’m… new here. New to “fandom” tumblr, new to fanfiction, new to all of it. I’d very actively disengaged from all social media in the past half-decade with the exception of some outdoor-related instagram shit. I knew fanfiction existed, like, ~as a concept~, but I had no idea it was actually ~out there~ until six months ago. As you might imagine, all this was a really fun discovery. 

Most of the fanfic I’ve read is… Mandalorian reader-insert. Or Cassian. Or Poe. Or fic for one of the zillion different Star Wars ‘ships I like. Homies… I’m a nerd. I’m a big, big nerd. I also have a huge thing for Pedro Pascal. There are three particular writers in the SW and/or Pedro fandom I consider just… fucking phenomenal. I’ll happily give recs if that’s up your alley.

I haven’t been reading much recently—I’ve been working on longer fics and figuring out how to do this here web-bloggin’ thang—and I’ve honestly not read a lot of AD character fanfic in general (which is a cryin’ shame!). The two first Driver reader-insert blogs I ever followed were @driversmutbucket and @ohiobluetip back in mid-February. Needless to say, they’re both TOP-FUCKIN-TIER. Chef’s kiss. Whipped cream and sprinkles on top. Oh, and just to note, I blame @ohiobluetip and @kowalskibro-adamdriverblog for dragging me into this fanfiction mess. 

With that as a precursor, here are some writer friends for you to scope out xo:

A pal recently recommended a few Sackler pieces by @thetorturerwrites which were an absolute fuckin’ treat to read. Their narrative voice is lucid, incisive, and nimbly-controlled—maintaining reaaally tight, evocative second-person throughout without ever becoming myopic. Seriously good shit, y’all.

I’ve been so charmed by @direnightshade’s kind-hearted and evocative prose. She writes well-defined, instantly-recognizable characters—including a wonderfully tender Charlie and a devilishly charismatic Flip. 

@umbrielchip000 has been writing some delightful and inventive HCs for a wide smattering of characters that always leave me smiling. Always. Oh, and grade-A shitposting, too. 11/10.

My darling @ellelaconiwrites has a Charlie series in the works that’s made me sooo goddamn soft, and @okk--maaan is doing a whole CHARLIE WEEK right now! Are we spoiled, or are we spoiled?

My dear @ktellmeastory has written loads of filthy Sackler goodness, including a *whisper-scream* on-stage, mid-performance, sneaky-fuck oneshot (aaaah!). K is also a pioneer of Toby Grisoni filth. Bless her. If Girls left you craving a resolution to Sackler’s storyline, @hrh-selene-r has a great piece that picks up where Season 6 left off, too!

Despite my former rude comments about werewolf ballsack fur, I did just start reading resident monsterfucker @callmehopeless’s ‘Honeyed Eyes,’ and found werewolf Clyde absolutely heart-tickling. @ducktapewriting, @insatiable-ivy, and @kathorax are all Clyde darlings, too—check ‘em out! 

@patersonn-kylo writes filthy, filthy, (often) hurt/comfort-oriented ficlets that make me scratch my head and wonder ~how can somefing be so tender and so dirty at same time!?!? how possibel?!~. I’ve also been enjoying @ohdamnadam’s engaging, sexy HCs.

Until very recently, I’d not seen fanfic for Ronnie, Dan, or Rick. I absolutely don’t mean it wasn’t out there—I just hadn’t come across in my limited experience! I am SO, SO BEYOND PSYCHED that these characters are getting more action (lolz, pun sorta intended) recently, and it’s a blast to see the different characterizations writers have for them—including many of the aforementioned authors. I know I’ve not been the best with keeping up on messages/comments recently, but do feel free to @ me with any Ronnie/Dan/Rick content! It truly makes my day when I see it *snuffles* <3

By now, you all likely know I don’t write for Paterson, and it’s not a function of disliking his character—quite the opposite. Mistress G (@ohiobluetip) writes a soft, sweet, kinky, dirty, desperate, darling switch!Paterson so deliciously that I… I simply have no fantasies left unfulfilled to write. It just checks every fucking box for me. I feel like I’m getting custom smut every time she posts; it’s ridiculous. I’m sure you follow her, but if you don’t… Who am I kidding. You follow her Also, PAPI GARUPE? AND DADDY/PROF ZACHARY ADAMS? *screech*

I’ve been seeing oodles more written for Sevier recently, which is so goddamn fun! In particular, I appreciated @umbrielchip000’s thoughtful and refreshing characterization of ace!Sevier.

I’ve given some Kylo/Ben recs before which you can find here, including my lovely friend @noodlecupcakeswritings. 

There’s so much clever, sexy writing out there… and there are so many passionate, hardworking creators making it all available for readers. I feel I’ve barely scratched the surface. If you’re a writer, your efforts are so appreciated! xoxoxo

[antheas-blackberry]

Fanfic End of the Year Asks

Well @conduitstreetcat asked for more of the answers, and since I’m procrastinating on the next chapter of In the end, only kindness matters  . . . . 

Reflectionfavourite fic you wrote this year

And the shadows they burn dark - it was fun to write and I really enjoyed doing it. It also helped how popular it was!

2.    least favourite fic you wrote this year From antiquity- I wouldn’t say it was the least favourite. I would say it’s the one I would go back and write again or fix as I went one way and then abruptly took a turn and I wish I hadn’t been in such a rush to post it.

3. favourite line/scene you wrote this year The first chapter of And the shadows they burn dark

4. total number of words you wrote this year Ummm good lord. If I add up all of the new works from this year (not including the ones I wrote with @lavenderandvanilla, I get 36,435. This doesn’t include WIP’s that haven’t been posted to AO3, chapters I’ve added to WIP’s started in 2018 or before, or works I’ve written for work. Not counting work, I am sure that makes about 50k if not more

5. most popular fic this year And the shadows they burn dark.  I still can’t believe it has over 800 kudos. I never thought I’d see such a number, if I’m honest!

6. least popular fic this year That’s much easier! The little Good Omens baseball fics and the The Pomegranate Rooms

7. longest completed fic you wrote this year

Forever I've Known- which is a collection of short pieces/drabbles/vignettes 

8. shortest completed fic you wrote this year

30 before 23, which is one of the little Good Omens baseball fics. It’s only 217 words!

9. longest wip of the year

See number 7

10. shortest wip of the year

The Pomegranate Rooms

11. fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year Good Omens, obviously

12. favourite character to write about this year

ummmmm????

13. favourite writing song/artist/album of this year

Uhhhh?????

14. a fic you didn’t expect to write

Hearts Attach- it was meant to be something entirely different! 

15. something you learned this year

Well, I guess I learned a lot of things about myself, most of it from fan fiction- if I’m honest. I learned that I am not the person I thought I was, and that there’s quite possibly a real, actual reason I am the way that I am. That it’s not just Anthea being Anthea here, and going all in when she likes something. It looks like this is something a bit more, and I’m trying to make my peace with it.  I don’t want to go into details quite yet, as I’ve not really got my head around it all, but it does make things so much more clear for me and well, maybe if I had known this years ago I’d be a different person.  Or at least would have been able to say that there is an actual legit reason I act like this. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just desperate. 

I’ve been very angry at myself for quite a long time, and I’ve gone from long periods of time of not writing to wanting to delete everything I’ve ever authored to trying out new things. And it’s not always been great. I’ve not always had the feedback (or comments or kudos) I thought I would. And perhaps I said some things, I maybe shouldn’t have said . . . . . 

And I’ve had some things said to me as well that were not very nice. I’ve also had some very nice things said to me. It’s been tough, especially with work pressures it’s meant I’ve not been able to write as much as I would have liked, and when I have been able to, I’ve been very hesitant to post or to put my name on things that have been co-authored. 

16. fic(s) you completed this year

Hearts Attach, And the shadows they burn dark, Birthday cake, Good times never seemed so good, From antiquity, Reflection, 101 RBIs, Re-evaluate in six weeks, For the love of crêpes, 30 before 23 and In the end, only kindness matters will be done by the end of the year.

17. fics you’ll continue next year Forever I've Known, possibly One moment in time, but I might move it to Forever I’ve Known, The Pomegranate Rooms

18. current number of wips

3 that have been posted, maybe a few more that have never seen and may never see the light of day

19.  any new fics to start next year I’m sure there will be, but I’ve not thought that far ahead

20. number of comments you haven’t read

0. I read them all and do try my best to reply to them all

21. most memorable comment/review

I recently had a lovely set of comments from someone which really made my day and they encouraged me to continue on, and that was really very kind, especially as it is on a piece I’ve had to set to the side as it was taking a lot out of me emotionally. 

22. events you participated in this year

31 days of ineffable advent, Fandom trumps hate with @lavenderandvanilla and the Rupert Graves birthday celebration. I still owe @lavenderandvanilla one for the Mark Gatiss birthday drive

23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t Occasionally, I might get an idea, and well if I didn’t note it, it’s lost.

24. favourite fic you read this year

Oh, good lord. <insert Aziraphale in the Bastille gif here>

Just to name a few:

The Coffee, Wine, Texbooks verse by @toby-zachary-ziegler

Four Cups of Wine by borealowl

Slow Show by mia_ugly

Secondhand Smoke by PaintedVanilla

Ink Blots and forget me nots by gutsandglitter

And oh so many more.  Check out my bookmarks, which I am slowly updating!

25. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

Again, see my bookmarks

26. number of favourites/bookmarks you made this year

A lot! 

27. favourite fanfic author of the year

Literally impossible to say, there are so many brilliant authors out there- to say that one is better than another is really unfair IMHO

28. longest fic you read this year

Shit, I’ve no idea. 

29. shortest fic you read this year

Again, not a clue

30. favourite fandom to read fic from this year

Duh.

[bluboothalassophile]

I wish you would write a fic where.... zatanna and raven get along actually pretty well with one another? Maybe not Great but def where they’re at a stable & respectful place?

Hello,

A challenge, but not impossible. I hope you enjoy! =)

Competing with Ghosts…

Zatanna sighed when she sensed it, the shadows, and sheturned to glower at the younger woman who materialized from the shadows to walkbeside her. Constantine’s latest pet project, the new favored girl, thedaughter Constantine had never had, it was rather annoying.

“You do know it’s not you, right?” Raven asked and Zatannafrowned at the younger girl.

“Sure it’s not,” Zatanna snorted. In the last year and ahalf Zatanna could honestly say she could feel nothing but respect for Raven,and the tremendous control it must have taken the woman to keep her demon atbay. She could also, begrudgingly, and would never say it allow, admit that shewas coming to think of Raven as something akin to a sister.

“He lost the love of his life, and is the single father oftwo children,” Raven said softly.

Zatanna stared at Gotham below and sighed.

“I know,” she whispered, feeling the hollow ache where herown child had once been safe and growing within her. A lifetime would never ceasethe pain of that loss, a loss at the claws of a demon after Constantine. “I amvery well aware of the loss he suffered.”

“You’re aware of part of it, it’s what truly broke him andBarbara, though I don’t think he knew that at the time,” Raven said.

“Is there anything you don’t know about the Robins?” Zatannagrowled.

“No, they’re mine,” Raven said icily, her eyes pulsed reddangerously. The demon, the possessive views, the girl was dangerous now.

“You are annoying.” Zatanna groaned as she rubbed her eyes.

“And you’re getting involved with my family,” Raven warned.

“You do know it’s not like I intended to have this happen!”Zatanna sputtered.

“No, I know, you didn’t. You wouldn’t dare to do that to Mar'ior Jake, you wouldn’t do that to Dick, because if you did not only would youhave a very pissed off demon on your ass, but also a very furious Bat clanafter you,” Raven said levelly. “But you like Mar'i and Jake, Dick relies onyou, to be his friend and support, so you’re important to him, you matter.”

“You’re now being patronizing.”

“No, to do that I’d have to admire you, and frankly, I admireyou about as much as you admire me,” Raven said dully. “No, I’m not being patronizing.I’m a realist, and you’re a logical woman.”

“You are here to scare me off him.”

“No, I’m stating facts, Zatanna.”

“Well, Raven, I’m thinking this over carefully.”

“Good,” Raven nodded.

“You disapprove of me and Dick?”

“No, far from it, I think you’re the second best woman forhim, and I think he’s the second best guy for you,” Raven said.

Zatanna stiffened.

“I’m not a fool. I saw you and Constantine, and I’m aware ofwhat you lost, the both of you suffered, now I’m warning you, break his heart,I’ll end you. But if you help him patch it,” Raven paused and softened a bit. “I’llgive you the cheats to keeping him stable,” she said before she walked off andZatanna stared dumbly after the demoness as she walked away. The shadows engulfedher and left Zatanna alone on the rooftop with her thoughts about Dick.

It wasn’t intentional!

Everyone knew what Dick had had with Kori, it wasn’t thekind of love that just died because one of them died. Kori’s death… it was atragic lose that had torn their epic love story into a tragedy which had shatteredDick and sent him into a destructive tailspin of self-destruction which he’donly recently been dragged out of. She sighed as she slumped over the railingand rested her head on her fist.

“No matter how I slice it I’m competing with a ghost,” shemuttered miserably.

After a few hours of thinking it over she decided to gohome. Walking into her apartment after the short trip home she sighed.Unlocking her doors she decided she’d deal with Dick Grayson tomorrow, andRaven too, because she was probably going to need to admit that she wasbecoming fond of the demoness, despite what she was.

“I didn’t know when you’d be back,” a soft voice said which hadher turning to the shadows.

“I thought you had patrol,” she said shrugging out of thecoat she’d been wearing.

“Tim took it for the night,” Dick said standing from thechair he’d been seated in.

“And Mar'i and Jake?” she asked.

“On a sleep over with Jason,” he said softly. He didn’t lookat her, he stared at the floor. “Look… about the kiss…” he started.

“Dick, not tonight, do not… I can take a lot but nottonight,” she whispered softly as she held up her hand.

“Raven pointed something out to me,” he murmured as hewalked up to her. She noted he stood carefully in the shadows, leaving her inthe pale light spilling in from her window. “I… she’d, Kori,” his voice brokeon his wife’s name. “Kori would want me happy,” he continued.

“I’m not competing with anymore ghosts, Richard,” she said softly.

“And I don’t want you to,” he said softly. “Zee, I’m here…for you. I’m not here because I’m lonely, or broken, or need you to replaceKori. You can’t replace her, and I can’t replace who you lost. But… if youlike, we… we could try,” he said softly.

Now his blue eyes were staring at her, almost pleadingly.

“I would have said the same thing to you tomorrow,” she saidas she looked at her clasped hands. “This last year… it’s changed me, a lot,and it’s changed you. I see you’re trying, and I… I would like to as well,” shesaid and looked up at him.

“Then…”

“I don’t want this to affect, Mar'i, Jake, you and methough, this, it stays between us until we know what this is,” she said firmly.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Jay knows that I’m here though,” headmitted.

“Raven knows too,” she admitted.

“I think that they know everything about everyone but themselves,”Dick said humorlessly.

“They’re empathetic souls,” she shrugged.

“Thanks Zee,” he murmured. She reached over and caught hishand before he could leave.

“You can stay the night, I have a guest room, Dick,” shesaid softly.

“Zee…” he started.

“Zachary is on a mission, Fate doesn’t come around, andConstantine gets blasted within a mile of my place, you’re free to sleep here,without your family knowing, nothing but friends helping each other out,” shepromised softly.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“You’re a good man Dick, a good father too,” she promised asshe released him and walked for her room.

“Good night Zatanna,” Dick said and she turned to look atthe man.

He was young, her age, his black hair was long, and his blueeyes stared intensely back at her. She smiled softly before she took a step tohim before putting a hand on his chest and kissing his cheek.

“Good night Richard,” she said evenly before she left himalone.

[dictionarywrites]

okay but???? i loved the one orian/zach fic you wrote--could you write more for them? as a couple or individually, i don't really care which, i just really appreciate your dexterity with both of their voices and would like to see more of them in your style. :) maybe something with orian and crosby? i dunno. they just fascinate me!

My Ao3 | Send requests | Tip jar!

It’s, uh, it’s six months into this whole thing with Zach. Six months in, and Orian, he, uh, he introduced the kids to Zach four months ago. Let them come in of the morning and find Orian paging through the news on his tablet as Zach cooked him breakfast, and Zach, he’d--

God, the way he’d looked at them. 

He kinda wishes he’d had a camera to take a photo of it, of his face: Zach stood in his clothes from last night, the spatula in his hand, and he’d just looked so surprised, and something else, too. Excited. The kids had already been dressed for school, and they’d each stopped to peer at him, examining Zach.

“I thought all your brothers were dead,” Miranda had said, in a tone that implied disapproval. 

“Mmm, no, Zach is no relation,” Orian had replied, without looking up from his tablet. “He’s, uh, the latest piece of ass.” Zach had dipped his fingers in his glass of water and flicked some into Orian’s face, and Orian had laughed, leaning back and looking at Zach with amusement. 

“You kids want some eggs?” Zach had asked, and just like that, the kids had sat down, had begun to cautiously make their weigh-up of this man Orian had invited into his bed - Miranda had called both of them narcissists, and then said they were incestuous, and had then implied in a tone of great delicacy that Zach, she assumed, must be bought and paid for. Zach had laughed, and said, “Oh, no, sweetheart, I’m a cop.” And when Miranda had gone pale, he’d laughed at her, and put some more bacon on her plate.

And that, well, that had been it.

He’d shown his dominance over the queen bee at the table, and the kids had respected him for it, at least a little. Even now, they sometimes mess him around a little, but Zach, he can hold his own, and honestly, he’s good with the kids. He can tell when Miranda’s just being nasty when she can, or when she’s genuinely in a mood; Rachel actually talks to him, which is more than she does for Orian half the time; and Cros... 

Cros, he’s a funny thing. When he was very young, Orian had been soft with him - he’d wanted to carry Crosby wherever they went, had fussed over him, and gosh, when he’d been, uh, when he’d been just a baby, Orian had just delighted in the smell of his hair, how warm he’d been when Orian had held him to his chest.

But the kid--

You know, the kid, he’s a pussy. Such a weakling of a thing, jumps at loud noises, keeps wriggling out of coming out to the gun range with Orian and the girls, only seems willing to do the bare minimum of the exercises Orian encourages the kids to do, and just wants to stay inside and draw all day. And he’s a good artist, Orian will give him that - he’s a good artist, and his grades are good, but he’s just such a milksop. 

Orian isn’t all that patient with him. He feels bad for that, he really does, but it’s just so frustrating to be dealing with him, at times, and yet, Zach, he... You know, he’s gentle with Cros. He’s patient. And Orian doesn’t know why that’s, uh, why that’s so sexy, exactly, seeing this guy talk with his son or fix his hair or make him breakfast, but--

It’s pretty sexy.

And today...

Mm. Well.

When Crosby comes into the door late, and crying his eyes out, Orian is ready to fly off the handle, because his son has a new shiner blooming on his eye, and he’s trying to talk, but Orian isn’t inclined to wait for the answer - he wants to go out and have whatever fucking boy did this to his son killed, now, immediately--

He’s pacing as Zach sits Crosby down, tilts his head back so that he can get a better look at the bruise. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Cry ‘til you want to stop.” He says it very quietly as he holds out his hand, and Rachel passes him an icepack. “You feel dizzy?”

“No,” Crosby says.

“And the vision in your bad eye, it’s okay, right? Not blurry, doesn’t hurt to focus on me?”

“No,” Crosby says.

“Good,” Zach murmurs, and he gently sets the ice against the changing colour of his skin, making Crosby hiss out a cry of pain. There are tears wet on his cheeks, and Orian sets his jaw.

“What’s the kid’s name?” he asks, sharply.

“You can’t kill a kid, Orian,” Zach says.

“You fucking serious? Are you-- Honey, are you, uh, are you telling me how to parent my--”

“Shut up,” Zach snaps, and there’s a ringing pause in the room as Orian feels a sudden thrum of excitement in his chest (mmm, inappropriate to the setting, but hey), and also indignation. Nobody talks to him like that, not in front of his kids, not in front of people, but-- “Tell me what happened, honey.”

“I wasn’t doing anything,” Crosby says plaintively. “I was just... I was just sketching on my phone on the bus, I wasn’t drawing him - I was drawing from a pose you did for me, I just didn’t have it open on my phone because I was trying to draw it from memory and--”

“What did he say?” Zach says, and his voice is quiet and calm. Miranda and Orian are both pacing now, at opposite ends of the room, and while Orian has a more casual saunter, Miranda is stiff, her hands clenched at her sides, her jaw held stiffly, her shoulders hunched. Rachel is standing still, her hands in front of her stomach, staring powerlessly at Crosby and Zach on the sofa. “Tell me what he said, honey.”

“He said I shouldn’t... That I shouldn’t draw him, and I said I wasn’t, and he said-- He called me a...” Crosby looks between Miranda and Orian, and then back at Zach, looking down at his chest instead of his face. “And I said I wasn’t a-- That my dad was gay, and that he was a weakling for being frightened of someone just because they might be different, and he laughed, and he punched me.”

“And this was on the bus?”

“Yeah,” Crosby says. “But the bus driver didn’t see, and I ran off before he could ask what had happened, and I walked the rest of the way home so that--”

“Why’d you do that?” Zach asks softly. “Why’d you run off the bus? He could have helped, the bus driver.”

“No,” Cros says. “He would have made me sit at the front of the bus, and then Ad-- and then he’d think I was a pussy, and that he’d make me a target.”

“What is his--”

“Orian, I swear to Christ, if you say one more word, I’m gonna cuff you to the stairs.” Mmm, and that, God, that just sets Orian’s skin on fire.

“Zachary, you are on very, very thin ice.” Zach looks back to Crosby, and Orian exhales. He doesn’t know what it is that keeps him still, what makes him not just reach out and grab Zach by the hair - if anybody else spoke to him like this in front of his kids, Orian would have them killed, but... It’s different, somehow. He doesn’t know how, but it is. 

“So, what’s the plan?” Zach asks, softly. “How are you gonna fix it?” Crosby hesitates.

“I don’t want to kill him,” he says. See, this is the problem. Pussy of a kid, frightened of violence, he’s just--

“Okay,” Zach says in a light tone. “Why don’t you want to kill him?”

“Too suspicious,” Crosby says. “And all he did was punch me, and I don’t want to kill somebody for something that-- that unimportant.” Crosby looks down, and he mumbles something, and Orian hears Zach laugh quietly.  

“Yeah, hot-headed is right,” Zach murmurs, evenly. “So, what do you want to do, if you don’t want him killed?” Crosby sniffles, shrugging his shoulders, and Zach reaches up, gently touching through Crosby’s hair, and Orian feels his heart ache, because somebody hurt his son, and he just wants to rip them limb from limb, hot-headed or not...

“Make sure he knows not to mess with me,” Crosby says. “But it can’t be... It can’t be violent in a way that other people see, or I’ll get too much attention.”

“Very true,” Zach says, adjusting the set of the ice against Crosby’s brow. 

“And I can’t do anything online because it’s too traceable.”

“Mmm hmm,” Zach hums.

“You could have me and Rachel deal with him,” Miranda says, quietly. “We can, uh-- We can rough him up, instead.”

“But then I’m a pussy who needs my sisters to protect me.”

“You are,” Miranda says, and Zach throws a cushion at her. “What? He is!”

"Except that you’re not helping him be independent, Miranda - you’re just making his situation worse! He’s saying he wants help to figure out a solution on his own. Why don’t you help him, huh?” Miranda stares at Zach for the longest moment, and it’s odd, seeing that expression of mixed indignation and upset on her face, because Orian doesn’t think he ever looks like that, and she looks just like him. 

Slowly, Miranda takes a step forward, and sinks down next to Crosby: immediately, Rachel does the same, dropping down onto the couch on the other side and taking the ice pack from Zach’s hand, supporting it against Crosby’s brow instead. Zach leans back on his heels, looking between the three of them, and Orian watches as he doesn’t say a word, as he just lets Miranda and Rachel talk through it with their little brother...

Zach steps back, and when Orian gestures for him to follow when he steps outside, they look at the pool. Zach doesn’t say a word: instead, he crosses his arms over his chest and looks out over the yard, not looking at Orian, until he says, “You can’tmow all his problems down for him.”

“He’s a kid.”

“So? Would you have done that for Miranda and Rachel? Kill any kid that looked at them funny?”

“No, but-- They’re stronger than he is, Zach, you know that. The kid’s soft.”

“He’s soft because you make him soft!” Zach retorts, crossing his arms over his chest a little more tightly and giving him a glare. “How’s he meant to get any better with you and Miranda both breathing down his neck, stopping him from doing anything on his own?” 

“You saying it’s my fault my kid’s a pussy?” Orian asks in a low, dangerous voice, and Zach laughs.

“Yeah, honey, I am,” Zach replies. “And going around killing kids for fighting, uh, forgive me, is a sign of you losing your head because he’s your baby and you don’t want anything to happen to him, not of you being smart about protecting him.”

“You think you can do that?” Orian asks in a hiss. “You think you can come in, and tell me how to parent my kids? You haven’t got kids, have you? Huh?” Orian shoves Zach in the chest, and Zach grabs his hand, interlinking their fingers and squeezing his hand. “I don’t want you holding my hand, you--” Zach lets go of his hand to grab him by the throat, and he squeezes tightly.

“Orian,” he whispers, and he squeezes so hard Orian feels himself choke. “If things go the way I want them to, they’re gonna be my kids too.” Again, there’s that sudden burst of heat in Orian’s chest, the one he always feels when he sees Zach being good with Crosby, and he heaves in a breath when Zach lets him go. “You want to go back inside?”

“No,” Orian says, and he grabs Zach by the front of his shirt, crushing their mouths together in a biting kiss. 

                                                    ---

Orian doesn’t know what Crosby does to Adrian Begley, but when he sees them at parents’ night, he scrambles out of their way and rushes into a corridor. Orian feels himself smile at Crosby’s expression of tight satisfaction, and when he turns to Crosby’s English teacher, he pats Zach on the hip, and says, “This is Zachary.”

He doesn’t bother attaching a label to it - it doesn’t matter if they assume Zach is Crosby’s uncle or his cousin or what. 

But he goes around with them, and when Zach tries to bring it up at dinner, makes some light comment about it, Orian ignores it completely. 

[fibula-rasa]

August 2018 in Review

I have a weird memory. It’s highly pattern-driven and very visual. This means that my memory of films I’ve watched is based on images and series of images that made an impression instead of plot points. It’s why I rewatch movies so often. Even though I’ve been tracking my movie viewing habits for two and a half years, that doesn’t mean I’ve created strong memories for all those movies. That’s why I’m gonna start doing monthly roundups of the new-to-me films that struck me, one way or the other.

[If you wanna know all the films I’m watching, I keep full lists on letterboxd and imdb.]

The reviews below are essentially transcriptions of the notes I took right after watching the films. Because of Summer Under the Stars and my cosplay challenge, this month was pretty TCM heavy for me.

Full Roundup BELOW THE JUMP!

Teen Titans Go to the Movies (2018)

27 July 2018 | 84 min. | Color

Directed and Written by Aaron Horvath and Peter Rida Michail

Starring Greg Cipes, Scott Menville, Khary Payton, Tara Strong, and Hynden Walch

I’m already a fan of the show and the movie kicks it up a notch with its humor and style. [If you liked the original series, give TTG a chance already.] TTG to the Movies is a great superhero movie for anyone who’s down for superhero stories but is fatigued by the current spate of offerings. Grain-of-Salt warning here because I think Superman III (1983) is great.  

Fun that they included some gags here and there for the parents out there who’ve had to hear the Waffles song a few too many times. Also, one of the best ending gags for a kid’s movie ever.

Where to Watch: Still in theaters, but I’d imagine Cartoon Network will be playing it soon.

Doctor X (1932)

27 August 1932 | 76 min. | 2-strip Technicolor

Directed by Michael Curtiz

Written by Earl Baldwin and Robert Tasker

Starring Lionel Atwill, Lee Tracy, and Fay Wray

I made the statement that Darkman (1990) is the most comic-book movie that isn’t adapted from a comic book. I hadn’t seen Doctor X yet though.

The set pieces are phenomenal. Each shot is artfully constructed and the way the shots are strung together makes the most of the production design. If one were to do a comic adaptation, it would take some imaginative work to not just mimic the film. The 2-strip technicolor is particularly effective in the laboratory scenes in creating an eerie aura. Sensational.

Lee Tracy is playing, as usual, a press man and he’s doing so perfectly. Tracy is so underrated.

Where to Watch: Looks like the DVD is out of print, so maybe check your local library or video store. TCM plays it every once and a while and, since Warner Bros has a deal with Filmstruck, I wouldn’t be surprised to see it pop up there eventually.

The Half-Naked Truth (1932)

16 December 1932 | 77 min. | B&W

Directed by Gregory La Cava

Written by Corey Ford and Gregory La Cava

Starring Frank Morgan, Eugene Pallette, Lee Tracy, and Lupe Velez

You might very well think Lee Tracy was a featured TCM star this month. (Maybe next SUTS? Pretty please.)

Lupe Velez is so talented and natural it was nice to see her in a film where her wits were matched. I’ll be honest, I’m a big Lupe fan but, for most of her films, she’s the only good reason to watch them. This wasn’t the case here! There are a lot of wonderful moments with small movements and gestures that make Velez and Tracy’s relationship feel very real, as if they’re actually that caught up in one another. Eugene Pallette, Franklin Pangborn, and Frank Morgan round out the ensemble. The running eunuch joke might not be all that funny, but it’s a masterclass in not saying what you mean. Also, very cute chihuahua.

Where to Watch: The DVD is available from the Warner Archive. (So, once again, local library or video store might have a copy.)

The Cuban Love Song (1931)

5 December 1931 | 86 min. | B&W

Directed by W.S. Van Dyke

Written by John Lynch, Bess Meredith, and C. Gardener Sullivan

Starring Jimmy Durante, Lawrence Tibbett, Ernest Torrance, and Lupe Velez

Lupe is wonderful in this. She plays a Cuban woman who sounds an awful lot like a Mexican woman--which might be something you have to overlook to enjoy the film FYI. Lawrence Tibbett has a shocking dearth of charisma in the lead, but Jimmy Durante, Ernest Torrence, and Louise Fazenda take the heat off him well. It’s a little hard to root for Tibbett’s character and the ending is disappointing. (Spoiler: privileging of the affluent “white” couple.)

The songs are great. I love the habit of placing people in musicals so that they are singing full force directly into each other’s faces. I don’t know why I find it so funny, but it’s not a mood ruiner for Cuban Love Song. The editing is fun and energetic. Until the war breaks out, there’s a lot of solid humor.

After watching so many Lupe films this month, I’d love to sit down with people who do and don’t know Spanish to talk about her films. There seem to be some divisions on social media and across blogs about Lupe’s films that might be attributable to whether or not one understands Spanish. I myself understand Spanish reasonably well and I think knowing what Lupe and others are saying makes almost all of her films funnier. And boy, does Lupe like calling men stupid animals.

Where to Watch: This one seems kinda rare. Looks like there may have been a VHS release, but you may just have to wait for TCM to play it again!

The Night Stalker (1972)

11 January 1972 | 74 min. | Color

Directed by John Llewellyn Moxey

Written by Jeffrey Grant Rice and Richard Matheson

Starring Carol Lynley, Darren McGavin, and Simon Oakland

and

The Night Strangler (1973)

16 January 1973 | 74 min. | Color

Directed by Dan Curtis

Written by Jeffrey Grant Rice and Richard Matheson

Starring Darren McGavin, Simon Oakland, and Jo Ann Pflug

I loved that these films are exactly like the Kolchak TV series. My SO and I have been watching the show weekly as it airs on MeTV and so he surprised me by renting the movies that kicked off the series. Honestly, watching backwards may have made the movies even more entertaining. How is Kolchak still working for Vincenzo in Las Vegas?? The answer is in Seattle.

The TV movies were intended as a trilogy, but after the success of the first two films, it was developed into a series instead. It’s cool to see how every piece of the Kolchak formula was in place immediately and how firmly Darren McGavin had a hold on the character. His chemistry with Simon Oakland (Vincenzo) is spectacular--a great comedy duo TBH. If you like their shouting matches on the show, Night Strangler has a humdinger to offer you.

Night Stalker is a pretty straight-forward vampire story, written by Richard Matheson, one of the great spec-fic writers of the 1960s and 1970s. Matheson also wrote one of the best undead novels of all time, I am Legend. What elevates the film over the basic mythology, aside from the great performances, pacing, and editing, is that the story’s really about how suppression actually goes down--how mundane and frustrating it can be even in the face of the supernatural.

Night Strangler is a little more creative with its monster. They integrate the nature and landmarks of Seattle in fun ways. The stripper characters are delightful. Jo Ann Pflug gives a truly funny performance and feels like a natural contender for Kolchak. Even his romantic relationships should be affectionately combative. The ditzy lesbian, Charisma Beauty (Nina Wayne) is hilarious and Wayne’s timing is impeccable. (BTW: they don’t explicitly call her a lesbian but it’s still made very overt.) There’s also a wonderful cameo by Margaret Hamilton.

As far as I can tell, it’s easier to get access to these films than the series. They’re worth seeing even if you haven’t seen the Kolchak TV show. They’re also a good pick if you’re a fan of X-Files, as Kolchak is the mother of that show. Even though I’m an X-Files fan and grew up watching it, Kolchak is edging it out for me lately. Maybe because if you’re telling a story about fighting for truth against the suppression of information, you undercut yourself by making the protagonist a fed.

Where to Watch: Kino Lorber is releasing restored editions of the films on Blu-ray and DVD in October!

The Mask of Dimitrios (1944)

1 July 1944 | 95 min. | B&W

Directed by Jean Negulesco

Written by Frank Gruber

Starring Sydney Greenstreet, Peter Lorre, and Zachary Scott

This was great! I loved Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet together. If you’re looking for a mystery story that flows and escalates well and presents a parade of interesting characters and locales, Dimitrios is for you. It’s also always nice to see Lorre in the lead.

Where to Watch: The DVD is available from the Warner Archive. (So, once again, local library or video store might have  copy.)

Strait-Jacket (1964)

19 January 1964 | 93 min. | B&W

Directed by William Castle

Written by Robert Bloch

Starring Diane Baker and Joan Crawford

I mentioned in my Joan Crawford CUTS post that I’d been meaning to see this for years. My enjoyment of the film didn’t suffer a bit from that length of anticipation.

I like William Castle’s movies a lot. I like the campy humor and quirky stories. This one is campy still, but not as heavy on the humor--unless you have a real weird sense of humor. That’s not a strike against Strait-Jacket though. Castle builds so much tension that by the end of the film, you feel like anyone could be axe-murdered at any moment, which becomes absurdly fun. The ending might be a little predictable, but it’s fun to go along for the ride. I didn’t particularly like the tacked on ending but I guess every JC movie needs to end on JC?

Largely unrelated, but if you’re a Castle fan, have you checked out his TV show Ghost Story/Circle of Fear? The first episode, The New House, in particular is top notch.

Where to Watch: It’s on Blu-ray and DVD from Sony (your local library or video store might have a copy) and it’s for rent on Amazon Prime. It’s also still on-demand via TCM for another few days.

One I didn’t write up: Cairo (1942). I brought up in my Jeanette MacDonald post that I was hoping to find a MacDonald film I enjoyed watching on her Summer Under the Stars day and I did!

[crowandazi]

Good Omens: A Rec List

(I don’t read smut; this list will not include smut.)

My favourite fanfictions, in no particular order:

Favors

By musegaarid

Rating: General Audiences

Word count: 2k (1610 words)

Description:

In Ancient Rome, Crowley makes a somewhat unusual request of Aziraphale. Two thousand years later, the favor must be returned.

Themes + Personal Opinion:

Fake/pretend relationship. Aziraphale has a teenage body at one point, Crowley doesn’t. Incredibly funny! Very sweet! Crowley and Aziraphale are besties and I’d die for them.

How To Get Smote: 101

By ineffablemercury

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Word count: 3k (2710 words)

Description:

He’d made the mistake of kidnapping an angel. And not just any angel, no, but one who apparently had a demon on it’s side.

Themes + Personal Opinion:

Outsider POV! Kidnapping. The characterisation is very, very on point. I loved the ending. It’s so well written. (I’m a sucker for outsider POV’s, so that’s always a plus for me.)

(Don't) Say My Name

By CosmicOcelot

Rating: Mature

Word count: 5k (4761 words)

Description:

“Aziraphale,” Crowley clutches tighter at Aziraphale’s jacket, hissing the words between his teeth, and the slightly hysterical edge to his voice makes the angel’s entire body flood with sheer panic.

“Someone’s summoning me.”

Themes + Personal opinion:

Kidnapping, torture, hurt/comfort. The torturing is not too bad, in my opinion, but it’s there. Aziraphale and Crowley love each other very much and there is a very satisfying ending.

They're Married, You Asshole

By megacinnamonpeaches

Rating: General Audiences

Word count: 2k (2307 words)

Description:

Crowley may be in the basement of two loons, but he's more worried about his dinner reservations than their line of questioning.

Themes + Personal opinion:

Supernatural crossover, implied torture. It’s cute, it’s funny, they’re married. I don’t think it is absolutely necessary to know Supernatural to read this one - I don’t watch it anymore either. Kind of an outsiders POV, if you don’t read for the Supernatural characters!

Slow

By write_away

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Word count: 9k (9371 words)

Description:

It started like this: A boy with the ability to warp reality met an angel and a demon and he made assumptions.

You might say it started like this: An angel and a demon found a marriage contract hung on the wall of the angel's bookshop. They didn't question it.

It also could have started like this: Once upon a time, the angel told the demon he went too fast. The demon took it to heart.

Aziraphale and Crowley find themselves somehow married. Crowley fears going too fast. Aziraphale forges ahead. Neither know how to ask questions of each other.

Themes + Personal opinion:

Slowburn, mutual pining, miscommunication, slight angst. Jewish Good Omens! This was very soft and sweet and just a delight to read. Lovely, lovely writing style.

On Being Bar Mitzvahed

By write_away

Rating: General Audiences

Word count: 1k (1212 words)

Description:

Zachary Hirsch is quite certain that he's never met Uncle Anthony and Uncle Ezra before, but all sorts of relatives have come out of the woodwork for his bar mitzvah, so it's not like he's surprised.

Crowley and Aziraphale occasionally crash b'nei mitzvahs, confuse the bar mitzvah boy, and leave presents.

Themes + Personal opinion:

Outsiders POV! Jewish Good Omens! Just super fucking sweet.

Spoonful

By Demorra (thebibliosphere)

Rating: General Audiences

Word count: 2k (1959 words)

Description:

“Nanny?”

Crowley’s head jerked up as he twisted round awkwardly in his chair to find a familiar face staring at him through the crowd, the time-altered features torn somewhere between consternation and twitching on the verge of a grin. He stared.

“Warlock?” Crowley he demanded, reaching for his glasses and only just managing to resist the urge to pull them off, “Warlock?”

Themes + Personal opinion:

Warlock all grown up. Crowley was a good nanny. It’s great.

Too Much Love Will Kill You (Or I Fucking Will)

By PeachGO3

Rating: Mature

Word count: 10k (10427 words)

Description:

Gabriel is a douche, a cursing priest and still not over his ex-boyfriend Aziraphale. But when he finds out that no church is willing to marry off Aziraphale and his new partner, he moves Heaven and Hell for them.

Themes + Personal opinion:

Homophobia. Gabriel is actually sweet in this one! (Even if he is a bit of an asshole sometimes... he means well.) Very nice. Also, Gabriel’s POV!

ask, and ye shall receive

By Ariaste

Rating: General Audiences

Word count: 0k (441 words)

Description:

Smite me, Crowley thinks one day, about three or four days into the Beginning of the World. He feels rather daring about it, especially when God doesn’t answer. Puts a bit of a swagger in his slither.

Themes + Personal opinion:

Personally, I am not a fan of God in Good Omens fics. Especially not God shipping them. But this fic is way too good to be ignored. It’s amazing. (And God has like one line, so whatever.)

what a way to make a living

By attheborder

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Word count: 5k (5016 words)

Description:

Without any more assignments coming from Downstairs, Crowley is struck with a bad case of the doldrums.

It takes a bit of trial and error, but eventually a solution is found.

(Or: the one where Crowley becomes an Uber driver.)

Themes + Personal opinion:

The tag ‘Crowley is funemployed’ really describes this fic the best. Man, this was fun. Also, feat. an outsiders POV!

Close to Home, So Far Away

By Mercury Starlight (WoolandWater)

Rating: Mature

Word count: 40k (39828 words - SO FAR!)

Description:

In 1941, Crowley saves Aziraphale's books, along with his corporeal form. That night, Aziraphale realizes he's done pretending he's not in love. But love between an angel and a demon flies in the face of the Status Quo, and neither Heaven nor Hell will stand for such a threat to their authority. To make an example of them, Gabriel and Beelzebub collaborate on a punishment much harsher than mere execution.

What happens when Crowley and Aziraphale are allowed to keep their lives, but not their memories?

Based on the meme/concept, "What if their punishment was forgetting each other?"

Themes + Personal opinion:

NOT FINISHED! (But uploads regularly.) You should probably read the tags before reading. A lot of angst, but it’s very well written and I love, love, love it! I normally wait for fanfictions to be finished before reading them, but this one is an exception.