#i NEED him to break me mentally
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHEHEEHHEEEEHEHEEEOH MY GODDDDDD EEEEEEEEEEE!1!!1!2!!!1!!1!!1!!!1!!1!1!!!1!!1! HE SI SO HAHHEHEH I LOVE THE WAY YOU MADE HIK SO MUCH IN GONNA SCREAM ISEHAHWHEHEH2846.!2!!1!:!3!2!; dnd ene !1!1!!!1!💔💔❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🤤❤️❤️❤️🤤❤️❤️❤️❤️😈❤️🤬🤤❤️❤️
Haiii… can i get the. Nightmare Clown from That’s Not My Neighbor? Methinks he’d look super cute in your style! (Sorry if creepy stuff isn’t your expertise)
Killer Clown 🤡 🔪
#Please pleaee pelase pleaee please pleaspleapwappleappeaee pleasppleaseee#grhhrhrhghfhrh#fhherhfbbfjdjcn#PLEASE SIR#ONE CHANCE#my head hurt#i wanna squeeze him#i want him to squeeze me#OUHHHHH I DONT CAREEEE#im down absolutely horrific#ill do anything#swear i will do anything#absolutely anything#shit has me giggling in the middle of class. BRO GOT ME IN TROUBLEEE#he is so. mmhghh#i NEED him to break me mentally#i am going to say a bad word
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my heart dropped when i read the statement that sm put out re: taeil, genuinely the last thing i expected to read today. i’m shocked, disappointed, but most of all- i’m angry.
angry at what he’s done, angry at seeing some fans defend him, angry at those turning this into a gotcha moment to promote or lift their faves up. please, this isn’t just some discussion on the internet- there is a very real victim, a very real woman at the heart of all this. i hope she gets the justice and healing she deserves.
#apologies for coming in and dropping this#ik i havent written in a while#truly i have not been in the best emotional state but i needed to let this out#this is an issue that hits close to home to me and i just feel sick to my stomach at the news#always ALWAYS believe victims#goes without saying but moving forward i will not be supporting taeil#it’s a piece of a much bigger picture in how south korean women are being treated#i’ve been seeing a rise in the digital space of them raising awareness and advocating against the sexist rhetoric and harassment they face#i know this is an au account BUT very real women are being affected. real life will always take precedent over silly little brainrots#morals before kpop always#anyways sending love and light and hugs to those who need it#esp the czennies / taeil biased that are disheartened and disappointed#don’t feel guilty for having once supported him- we were all blindsided by the idol persona#idk when ill be back. truly need a bit of a mental health break#but ill see you all again soon <3
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finally started p5 royal ‼️‼️‼️‼️
expect some royal trio art soon they are my dearly beloveds (minus akechi i hope he dies in this reality too)
#love that ren got the sad boy kdrama fit#also no idea how akechi survived i want to shake it out of him so bad why are you gatekeeping stupid bitch#idk if this is just him w/o the pleasant boy facade but he seems so much more exhausted and cruel#like everything he says is verbal irony bc he’s patronizing everyone. he hates being a team player sm it’s insane 💀💀💀#he’s so withdrawn and short tempered and actually mentally unstable. like sadistically so#i think these are all warning signs#if he dies again i’m ending it all. you didn’t come back from the dead just to die on me again#also sumire….i love her so bad…..my sweet girl….my baby ☹️☹️☹️☹️#sumire yoshizawa they could NEVER make me hate you#she reminds me of a fawn 😭😭😭😭 with her big soft doe eyes and how she’s so curious and eager#GAAAAAHHH every time she comes up on screen i want to give her a headpat SO BAD…..SHES SUCH A FUCKING CUTIE#i feel so bad for ren bro he’s literally stuck babysitting the new kid and simultaneously keeping akechi on a leash 😭#poor boy needs a break. we should go to hawaii again that was fun#anyway yeah that's all#hopefully i’ll finish the game this week i’m sick of this. i want to move on
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babpy.
#pizza tower#peppino#arts#mine#happy pride; heres a little otter for u#hes like very early 20s here#happy and unbothered before the Horrors happened#it is NOT his 30s bc he needs to exude raw dilf energy by that point#but for now he is anxious and sweet and awkward#not that i dont draw him like that already but its like 10x here#its PALPABLE#okay mwah i will hopefully come back w more than just sketches that mean nothing skjfsdjkfdhfhsk#i have LITERALLY been on this commission for WEEKS i need someone to take me out back and put me out of my misery i swear#im going to finish the lines TODAY like i cant be this person i cant keep coming back to this fucking comm w no progress ill simply Die#its like singlehandedly preventing me from doing anything else; its making a mental block waaaaaaaau#but i feel like i am breaking through it today. at least i HOPE i am sdkjfsdjkfjsdkf#um if u are still here ilu. send me some anons; i want to be chatty but the messages i have feel like i need to respond w essays#and i literally. cannot.#at least until i get my head screwed on properly again
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TFA Arachnus Prime
#maccadam#transformers#poll#smash or pass#request#arachnus prime#optimus prime#tfa#god the things i would let him do to me#i need to see my beloved upstanding sweetheart optimus tormented and emo. for my mental health.#its so rude that we never got to see this in an episode proper mannnnn#like. this will break him. but i need to see HOW he acts when hes broken#does he oean into being evil? does he go to megatron like blackarachnia did? how hard does he cling to his faith in the autobots?#what will it take for that faith to shatter beyond repair? this is mr 'cogs in the great autobot machine'#who cannot see how heartbreaking that sentiment is#would being cast aside and treated as lesser; as a wretched and disgusting THING by the society he swire to protect do it?#enough to make him start questioning the history he threw himself so wholly into learning?#and whats his dynamic with megatron in a world where he works for him? does megs recognize the respect optimus craves? feed into it?#does he remember his name in a galaxy who sees him as only a terrible beast? is it all to string him along into getting his way?#does he know hes being played? does he bother caring?#these are the questions that keep me up at night#anyway snag me in your web and lay eggs in me daddy 💖💖 bite me like a dirty little bug 💖💖💖💖💖💖
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apologies for being mia!!!!! pls accept this tierlist lol
#this is vee speaking#tanked mental health couldn’t be genki girl y’know the drill lol#i revisited the current arb event in my sabbatical and samatoki being a clingy pest towards juto is never not funny to me LOL#and it made me think of the time samatoki broke into juto’s home to force him on a date night and then this was born LOL#i feel like????? gendice aren’t quite right tho lol?????#like i’m not coming up with a moment either of them have invaded someone’s home outside of dice visiting rio#which is and isn’t a home invasion on dice’s part lol#and he has that hypdream card where he’s on gentaro’s porch begging for money lol but he didn’t force his way in there#and gentaro has the personality to break into someone’s home lol i just don’t think he has????????#i think it would be funny if he hasn’t bc of lowkey youkai parallels lol like he NEEDS permission to enter places lol#anyway i think the list is self explanatory enough outside of that LOL
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Wyll breaking up with the player character if Ulder dies so Wyll must become the Duke makes me wanna throw up sobbing because he actually thinks that just because his father's first duty being to Baldur's Gate made him a Bad Father that Wyll himself will inevitably be a Bad Lover because surely no one could match love with duty if his father couldn't, unknowing he has more love in one hand than his father had in his entire body. fuck
#More in my reblog#“my father taught me more lessons than I can count” yeah dog they were called CAUTIONARY TALES 😭😭😭#“pull me too close and I'm destined to hurt you” FUCKIGN. BITING YOU#“a champion's heart is as sharp as a new blade” SO CRAZY I GOT THIS SICK ASS ARMOUR. TRY ME.#I'm actually in physical pain over this. Wyll my love.#I need to rip ulder in two with my bare hands right now.#sorry I JUST saw the breakup scene for the first time today and I haven't stopped thinking about it it's making me ill with sadness#he didn't even break up with ME but it fucking feels like it goddamn#bg3#Wyll Ravengard#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 analysis#oh my GOD and the fact that he offers one last dance. I'mgoing to ufckingexplode#and he spends five whole seconds just. holding the character. not even dancing.#I watched the version with him and astarion ofc I don't romance wyll myself (lesbianism)#makes me wanna write a fucking fic (derogatory)#why the fuck is everyone so ill over astarion when mr insane mental health issues is RIGHT here (i know why. but still)
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Need him in ways I can’t fully articulate
#looking like a heartbreaker and he can break mine ANYTIME#young russell you stir things up in me that i didn’t know existed#he’s like a little tornado lifting me off from kansas#90% sure this is from rough magic#…and i think it’s time for a rewatch#soulful wandering hopelessly devoted alex ross i think of you so often#he makes me so feral in this movie#the 1950s outfits are flawless on him#the sharp suit and the white undershirt and the jaunty little hat#the scruff! the hair! the smirk!#the freaking adorable new york accent!!#i think he’s the type to call his girl sweetheart#and i think of that quite often#he wouldn’t need a love charm or spell to get me to be his girl#separate hotel rooms NEVER HEARD OF THEM#we’re not only sharing the bed we’re breaking it#possibly not even noticing#his little forehead crinkles BOY#GET BETWEEN MY ARMS RIGHT NOW#he’s driving me crazy everyone#reason for being admitted to mental asylum: russell crowe#cause of death: russell crowe#ahhhhh what a way to go#rough magic#alex ross#russell crowe
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The change in my Evan from the first time I drew him to the most recent is,, actually insane
Like what do you mean that’s the same guy??
(This may or may not be a wip of me drawing CR Evan but I’m still not done with the fic soooo)
#I’m at like chapter 28?? 29 maybe??#I know what happens to him and it haunted me so much I needed to take a mental health break and come back to the fic like 6 months later🫠#evan rosier#evan rosier fanart#crimson rivers#Evan rosier crimson rivers#crimson rivers fanart#marauders era#marauders#hp marauders#hp#harry potter#dead gay wizards from the 70s#fanart#marauders fanart#wip#futurequiblblerjournalist art tag
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overthinking … nooo ……
#god help me I am having too many thoughts#about things that are not even remotely relevant right now#I really need to adopt the “cross that bridge when I come to it” mentality#because sheeeeesh#this is also sort of bestie number two’s fault because she’s the one who asked me all those questions#“what are you going to do if he confesses to you” GIRL I DON’T KNOW! I’m barely trying to establish a friendship right now#but of course now I AM wondering what I’d do#well I’ll tell you one thing I’m not going to be cruel like those kdrama female leads#that break the heart of the guy they like just because they think it’s better to let him go right now#if — IF! — that ever happened#I guess I’d let him express himself and then express myself and explain where I’m at right now#and we’d figure something out#which would be a sign of trust and teamliness I’d say!#but anyway. that’s like step 50. right now I’m on step 3#and who knows if I’ll go beyond this one#it’s actually his job to take the next one (texting me again) and I will NOT jump the gun under any circumstances#so. yep. actually expressing myself here made me calm down and not have so many abstract swirling thoughts#elly's posts#🍮
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you guys wouldn't believe it beautiful gay prof who allegedly lives happily ever after with his boyfriend in London and takes the long commute every day has told me today that he recently broke up :0 no beautiful gay intellectual couple in london anymore? 😭 love keeps losing omfg
#well we're not besties I just went to tell him that I might need an extension because I had two weeks of insane mental illness#and he was like yeaah it must be bc moving abroad is so hard#and then me. insane: no it's actually because I had a break up with someone I really loved#and he was like. yeah I recently had a break up too U__U but I WAS THE BREAKER UPPER .#🧷
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I think I should give my narilamb a bit of a divorce arc. As a treat :)
#i NEED the hurt/comfort#thinking about lamb’s terrible abandonment issues and how they end up being the one to drive Narinder away#and how him leaving would completely break them mentally for awhile#Lamb has very few people they let get close to them (atm just nari and their 2 disciples)#but they still keep those people at a distance and refuse to talk about their past and their issues#which leads to a MAJOR problem with Narinder that ends up blowing up in both of their faces#jordan being allergic to shutting up#I need to yap I need to draw I need my body to STOP fighting me and recover already#they would eventually come back together and grow stronger bc I like happy endings don’t worry#but lamb is my favorite therefore they must suffer the most#then they will get their happy ending
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a lot of post-coup fan content seems to revolve around chris's relationship to robert and/or trevor which makes sense but i'm chrissandra-pilled so i can't stop thinking about that particular betrayal, especially with my headcanons for them.......chris has only recently started hesitantly letting her back in, he thinks that for sure she will back him up here, only for his heart to sink when he learns she was on board with this too.........she knows what robert's like, just as much as he does, so it hurts that she'd willingly go along with him, that she'd choose him over chris, especially knowing how much directing means to him..........
when he asks she tries to brush it off with well, we just need a change, that's all, i thought maybe we could give him a shot but the damage is done, she's just fed into his fears that she's never actually respected or liked him and this whole time she's been thinking of him of, at best, someone to laugh at behind his back, that what they're doing here at cornley isn't real, that it's just a stepping stone in her journey to stardom........sandra doesn't mean all that, of course, she's just frustrated with how badly their plays go like the rest of them, but with this one gesture she's awakened chris's trust and abandonment issues that led to the bitterness and resentment that nearly caused him to leave them the first time around, except this time he's internalized it into a quiet self hatred and a begrudging acceptance that no one at cornley actually likes him, and she's horrified by the thought that she helped contribute to that......
#i don't love the way this post is broken up but it was getting to be one long paragraph and that was toooo much lmao#anyway i'm spontaneously deciding to become a 'chris's behavior in accgw was caused by hurt and isolation from his fellow actors' truther#which i WILL make a post about at some point. but. i think he got in his own head and convinced himself they hated him#and so he convinced himself that he hated them in turn and he didn't need them........#none of that is true but he has severe untreated mental illness lmao#anyway i think the coup caused a similar mindset in him except this time instead of taking it out on them he takes it out on himself#he just gets quietly self destructive in a way sandra hasn't seen since their uni days and it breaks her heart.....she feels soooo guilty#hmmm i also have to make a post about why i think they had their bestie breakup. cuz i think it's a similar thing where she implies she#doesn't respect him or what he's doing here#and given how important this is to him that really fucking hurts him........ouuugh#god these tags are getting as long as the post itself hglkdjf i just care so much about these two#save me chrissandra angst#the goes wrong show#chris bean#sandra wilkinson#chrissandra#marshy speaks
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'...you know jokes like those actually hurt me, right?'
"who said I was joking?"
.
.
.
'oh.'
#vent#personal#delete later#so um#i don't talk with my family about stuff often cuz#they don't really listen#it's#they always think I'm putting on airs or acting when I say something#i mean#it's not#i don't really know whether or not i actually have a problem#but sometimes i check over my behavior and#some of it doesn't seem normal?#i mean i don't know i'm not an expert and my opinion doesn't mean much but#it just doesnt seem like something we're supposed to experience#so i'll tell them sometimes#well actually i've told them multiple times that i feel like something isn't right#i mean we told them about our back and leg pain maybe 3 years ago?#that wasn't taken seriously#even when i fell the first time it wasn't taken seriously#it took me actually breaking down and crying to miss a singular day of school#mentally speaking i think i might have something going on#i mean i've told my brother that i might have depression and#he just brushes it off and jokes about it#we get home and tell him we've had a bad day and he'll joke about how the m22's there for me and its#it really hurts but no one takes me seriously and i don't know if we're overreacting or if there's genuinely something wrong#in april the thing with my legs happened again and the next day i was told that i was fine and that i needed to go back to school and#And that's not wrong i've never missed school i don't miss school even when i am sick i take a day off and bounce right back but#It kind of feels like they don’t take me seriously?#this is stupid sorry i’ll take this down later
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Why isn't Natori's cousin arc talked about much ?
It was such a masterpiece of a story. it was very powerful and tragic which just hurts so much and I'm not over it or I'll ever be, it also had so many things to talk about .. like a lot for example:
-the undying trust Natori had for Natsume that no words reached his heart like Natsume's words
-that deep sad desire inside his heart which later on got crushed in the ugliest of ways not once but twice
-the fact that the Natori clan might have some secret that led people fearing their return or hating them which might be what led someone to break the barriers that protect their house ?
-Natori hating himself more and more for being weak and having such simple desire (NOOOOO PLEASE T^T)
-Natori pushing himself through his trauma for Natsume's sake !!!
-Natori's family being as worse as Natsume's relatives! I SO HATE THEM AS MUCH AS NATSUME'S RELATIVES!! THOSE COWRDS!!
-some more exorcist lore! "I thought he would wear a hat" pleaaase that killed me I can't see him doing it xDDD
-Natori's complicated emotions about the Matoba ><
-"Mitsuru was never going to be the family I dreamed of. If she had been born, she wouldn't have been my ally but my enemy" >> this simply shattered my heart to pieces that I remember I took moments off the pages to recomposed myself .. too much I just can't okay T^T
-big BIG BIG respect for Natori's resolve and pride as an exorcist even if that actually hurts him or cast him in the dark since I thought he might actually regret being an exorcist sometimes but aaaaaaaaaaaa that resolve !!! I was happy yet sad and crying !!!
-"I'm glad you're the one who exorcised me Natori Shuuichi" >> nope I'm okay not breaking down in tears or anything at all T^T
-a bit on Natori and his shiki's relationship T^T
-Natsume's respect for Natori's choice at the end that he didn't interfere and hating himself for not being able to find a solution for both ><
-WHAT WAS NATORI GONNA DO TO HIMSELF IF NATSUME DIDN'T APPEAR THIS IDIOT!!!!
I feel there's more things worth mentioning but those are what's on my mind right now, I so wanna expand on everything and talk much about them but can't with this very unstable health of mine for now T^T
must come back to it one day .. I must since this story is just another masterpiece from Midorikawa-sensei that need more people to talk about it .. no simple words can express what I feel about this arc ..
#natsume yuujinchou#natsuyuu#natori shuuichi#I think since this put such a heavy damage on Natori both physically and mentally#I won't blame him for not joining in the current arc no matter how much I wished he was#he need a rest#can you imaging how many heart attack he would've get if he joined in the current arc ? poor Natori#this story was too heavy that even I needed a rest after it ><#I so wish I can fully express everything -sigh-#it kinda of always break me down that I can't do what I want much cuz of this health of mine#but still the fact I manage to write here and there is still a big thing for me :)#plus this manga is like a ray of light in this darkness#they make me forget whatever pain I'm in#especially Seiji .. he's ..#or wait that's not the place to talk about this lol
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With the throat fic, was Palpatine's plan to have Anakin experimented on so he becomes even more dark and dangerous?
lol the throat fic i love that
anyway i kept it sort of vague but i imagine dooku was like hey. hey sidious. can i experiment on your other apprentice. cause you know i hate him and also maybe it would solve The Padawan Problem
(sidious' biggest headache on any given day is the fact that four years ago his would-be apprentice got the stupidest fucking lightest motherfucking jedi padawan in the whole galaxy who is single handedly tethering sidious' apprentice to the light and skywalker will never ever ever let him go willingly and killing him is going to be complicated and messy if he doesn't do it right because skywalker can never know he orchestrated the death of kenobi but he also can't think the separatists did it and he can't think the sith did it and it would be great if he could convince him the jedi did it but that's almost impossible, so!)
and sidious is like ? oh?
and dooku is like yes. we kidnap skywalker and do some experiments on him, maybe light torture, make him really dark, make him really dangerous
and sidious is like oh???
and dooku is like right yeah and then after just a lot of torture and experimentation cause remember, i don't like skywalker,,,,
and sidious is like right right continue
and dooku is like we bring in his padawan and he kills him himself! :D Padawan Problem solved.
and sidious is like i have no other ideas at this point on how to solve a problem like kenobi, so. fine. take skywalker. have fun with it.
#asks#throat fic au#obikin#squick tag: a/b/o#throat fic made me realize i dont have a tag handy for this au#but anyway i think i just needed a reason for anakin to be kidnapped but not killed immediately and not bartered away or anything#and the mental image of him barely hanging onto sanity and pacing his cell#while scientists looked on and made notes#and then he hears one of them mention obi-wan#and he breaks out and kills them all within five minutes of them floating the idea#of taking obi-wan and hurting him#all of that was so delicious for the fic that i had to include it
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