#i LOVE toxic unhealthy relationships and i find a lot of the ones hes been in fascinating

[lovecatsys]

I've probably said this before but. What Akihiro unconsciously looks for in relationships (both romantic and platonic) is stability, someone who he can pretend to be someone else, a better person with and have the kind of relationship that is genuinely good for him. And I say unconscious because not only does he not realize he's doing this but he probably gets mad when he realizes he does it, because he goes out of his way to project a certain image about himself and has self destructive tendencies because at first he genuinely did not care about Healing, about changing and becoming a better person. And when he invites people into his life like Laura, Johnny and Gabby they try to get him to change because those behaviors are hurtful to them, and he just can't have that. He and Johnny wouldn't have worked out at the time in his life where they met because he was not in the right place to change himself, so he destroyed what they had while destroying everything he had in his life because he was dying and saw no point anymore. But with Laura and Gabby he actually let them in and let them change him, because he was in a better place in his life (and also who can say no to two little sisters with autism creature eyes). And to me this is why I can see him with people like Johnny, Bobby and Carl romantically and not with people like Bullseye because they will ultimately cause more destruction to his life and he may seek that out, as a form of self harm but he could never fall in love with that. He needs someone who will inspire him to change, and he's had far too many toxic, unhealthy relationships in his life.

[zarnzarn]

i see all these comments talking about this after the new episode, but. i would like to state for the record that stolitz isn't. toxic.

first off, the concept of a toxic and a healthy relationship are such... vague terms. when you're online, drenched in language and tight moral boundaries, trying to put a nuanced story like helluva boss's into boxes is easy to attempt and impossible to do.

a toxic relationship is one where one or both parties is maliciously affecting the other. I'm talking fetid, nasty, rude interactions where there is more hurt than love. they're unhappy more often than not when they're with their partner, there's no respect or give from the other side.

stolitz is nothing like that.

Stolas actively cares about Blitz and actually has no fear or hesitation in ADMITTING IT OUT LOUD TO OZZIE. he has been calling, texting, commenting, laughing and finding ways to spend time with Blitz. he's throwing everything he has to the wind, finding the courage to move forward with the divorce, putting everything he has into trying to keep him. he's been alone in a palace since he was born, on medication, with such less people dear to him that he remembered the circus boy who spent a day with him DECADES ago- so when blitz comes into his life and brings back in laughter and color and sex, he's holding on with everything he's got.

and blitz does care!!! he cares a LOT, the whole series we see him falling in love with stolas through SHOW NOT TELL (his expressions, his choices, his fear, his lashing out) and utterly unable to process that stolas cares about him too when talking to fizz; almost a desperate kind of denial-

cause yknow. the first time he tried to confess something to someone he really liked, he accidentally killed half the people he knew and ruined the lives of the rest?

thats gonna leave just a teensy impact on the will to express your emotions in the future, methinks.

even before that, he clearly felt like on some level that he was unworthy and he's said twice that he despises himself for the accident even though it wasn't actually his fault. being self aware doesn't stop the emotions from emotioning.

he keeps insisting its only sex so urgently to anyone who doesn't ask because he can't even imagine it being anything else. he's both disappointed and relieved when he repeats that stolas sees him as a novelty, because what else can it be?

(there's a whole other spiel of how brave both Stolas and Blitz have to be to say it out loud even when asmodeus can't afford to, considering how publically and completely beaten down both were at the club.)

(there's also another whole spiel about how frustrating it has been for ME to see all these comments over time with such bad takes based on like,, 20 min worth of info of a show that takes months to release an ep. like godDAMN have some patience?? let the story UNFOLD MAYBE? IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE AN EXPLANATION WHY WOULD YOU CRITICIZE THINGS THAT ARENT EVEN FINISHED ESPECIALLY AN INDIE ANIMATION- i digress)

mind you, this has NOTHING to do with abuse. an abusive relationship is one where one is actively harming the other with full awareness. Stella is an abuser and their marriage is abusive.

and stolitz isn't that; it isn't even unhealthy or toxic. it's a consensual, transactional fuckbuddy relationship that slid into something more for both of them.

but!!!!! one of the main reasons for the problems that everyone looks over is-

they're in a BDSM relationship.

I can't possibly delve into dynamics without making this a 10k research paper BUT even though we've gotten only hints and costumes and dialogue- they're very clearly and undeniably in a BDSM contract. Behind the scenes of this crazy show is a whole different story, of these two delving into the most hardcore kinks out there- knifeplay, painplay, bondage.

if you've gotten into the community, if you've read a couple dozen particularly good fics by authors who know what they're talking about, hell; even if your only experience is fifty shades or 365 or whatever- you gotta know that BDSM scenes are crazy fucking emotionally heavy. there's so much that has gone down between them during their full moons that helluva can't get into!!

but you know how in so many of these popular medias and fics, the dom in the relationship is also like,, the billionaire/mafia heir/prince, etc, the one with financial and physical power? this isnt that. it has been very clearly stated that stolas is subbing, blitz is domming.

now take a moment and think about how much that fucks up the dynamics.

in stolas' eyes, blitz is a confident, dangerous individual who's an old friend and cherished memory of his, who he's trusted wholly with his safety during sex and he's lucky to have; and he has been in an abusive arranged marriage for the past eighteen Years, he's probably not going to be pushing his luck with his dom that much in the first place. plus, blitz is never cowed by him during their conversations- think back to the first phone call right after he stole the book, completely unafraid.

and for blitz, it's someone trusting him again- but it's also a royal- a blue blood who's nearly untouchable and so much more powerful- who couldn't possibly like a piece of shit like him, apart from the sex he gets out of it. he only flirts once he gets some sort of cue from Stolas; he's desperately trying to view this as only a Goetia trying to get his rocks off, despite all the evidence to the contrary, because anything else is unfathomable to him, no matter how clearly Stolas shows it, because of the ptsd.

both of them thinks the other has the power. both of them aren't expecting the other to keep shut if something's bothering them.

and there's so much conflicting messages from the other too!

stolas calls him a plaything when trying to intimidate the humans; stolas cups his face gently and asks if he's alright

blitz asks him on a date and tells him to get better soon; blitz yells that it's only sex and doesn't reply to his messages

ya see?

bring it to fizzozzie for a second now; even though they do look all good on surface, you can still see fizz's trauma and doubt in all their interactions, they're still forced to keep the relationship secret. do you see his face when Ozzie says in hyperbole that he's never leaving the house again, or when someone accuses him of being a pampered house pet or when he got sexualized in the 7th ep? whatever happened in the interim between the accident with mammon, it fucked him UP. even though oz seems to be well aware of this when he tells him not to apologise and in their general interactions, fizz still visibly has trouble separating plaything/commodity from healthy relationship.

shout the fuck out to Ozzie btw, man knows whats UP. rooting for these two so much omg.

i forgot where I was going with this point, I'll edit it when i remember. but yeah! lovely fucking relationship, but damn what angst filled issues.

anyway, to sum up- stolitz is not a toxic relationship. the relationship is stuck sludging through misunderstandings and careless microaggressions and trauma responses, but it's not unhealthy or toxic because of the simple reason that most of the current hurt comes from... a misunderstanding. stolas didn't realise blitz would need reassurance about what they were and blitz didn't see stolas as someone who could get hurt.

unecessarily calling it toxic, even online, is more impactful than people think too. almost all spindlehorse ARE on all social medias; so MANY YouTube animators i know have found jobs there; they see your words, especially since a lot don't tag posts with "anti hb" correctly to keep them out of the main tag. there are Very few queer medias made BY queer people that haven't gone through heavy corporate revisions- helluva boss is practically a historical landmark in its success. it's very very very fucking easy to forget that not ten years ago some of the only queer videos on YouTube were butter lover (one kiss at the end post credits), dirty paws and welcome to hell (subtext).

the amount of "critical talk" helluva boss gets for what it is is very unprecedented. it's a beautiful show. can't wait for the next episode.

[youremyheaven]

Ketu: Detachment & Connection

I thought I would expand more on the nature of Ketu in this post. Although both Rahu and Ketu are shadow planets (they are the north and south node of the moon) they experience this darkness very differently. Rahu seeks intense immersion in their experiences and seeks to absorb as much of their material realm (Rahu is the head) but Ketu is disconnected from this completely (Ketu being the headless torso) and even if they want to, they cannot immerse themselves in the material realm, they find it disorienting or simply feel disconnected from it all. Its meaningless to them.

The Ketu nakshatras are Ashwini, Magha & Mula

Ketu is in the darkness and to be Ketuvian is to be in a tunnel perpetually seeking the light. It can be a very uneasy energy to inhabit if imbalanced but this is why spirituality is so important to Ketu natives, they have to cultivate spiritual discipline if they are to peacefully embody this energy and find clarity in its detachment. Most people struggle with overattachment, so having this Ketuvian energy is a great starting point since you're already detached but grounding is very important as there is such a thing as being too detached or uncaring.

The Ketuvian struggle for connection reminds me of certain 8h themes and I think 8housers and Ketuvians have a lot in common in that regard. You need to have an intense kind of connection to feel anything at all, everything else feels kind of mild to your senses. Only intensity can wake you up and make you feel "awake" or "aware" as Ketuvians are sort of in this passive detached state otherwise.

I noticed many of these themes in Jungkook's solo songs. He is a Magha Moon and Mula Rising (he has such a puppy energy, it must be Mula's dog yoni hehe)

I had mentioned in one of my previous posts that being heavily tatted (a full sleeve of tattoos or just being covered in tattoos) is a very Nodal thing to do because they're plunged in shadows and making a mark spiritually helps them feel more connected or because they have to indulge in the extremes of anything for it to feel impactful.

Jungkook has a song called "Still With You" released in 2020, widely considered a love letter to army. These are the English translation of some of its lyrics that I found correlating to his Ketuvian energy

"That faint voice of yours that grazed me Please call my name one more time I'm standing under the frozen light, but I'll walk step by step towards you Still with you

With no light in the darkroom I shouldn't get used to it But I'm used to it again The low-pitched sound of this air conditioner If I don't have this, I will fall apart We laugh together, we cry together I guess these simple feelings were everything to me"

Fame can be a very intoxicating and addictive experience for Nodal natives. Since they feel very disconnected otherwise, they experience connection when it is pouring in such a large or vast scale. But this sort of dependence on fame and fans can also be destabilising and unhealthy because you never know when it might all go away. Since fame is so fickle, its dangerous to rely on it to feel "connected". This is why soooo many Nodal natives who are celebrities are sooo often self-destructive. You keep chasing that high and you'll never feel satisfied, you can never fill the vacuum you have and the harder you try, the more empty you feel.

I don't say any of this to be discouraging, im only trying to point out the emotional expectations we place upon certain experiences and even relationships and how it turns toxic and unhealthy when we do that. If we were to use another person to feel connected or tethered to the world, whilst it may work for us, they must feel very drained by being our anchor.

Jungkook has another demo called Decalcomania and the lyrics go like this:

When I see you smile in the screen You're good at everything You're just perfect Feels like I've never been you

Do you even see me? Do you know who I am? Or how do I look now? You don't like me like that

Come and tell me so much, you beautiful heart Oh, I'm gonna listen to you Please

All the numbers too big Can't get out of your game Oh, I want to paint it like you Please

I want to be your decalcomania I want you I want to be your decalcomania I want I want you

He is singing about himself and how he feels dissociated from himself. Fame can be a very dissociative experience for Ketu natives as their search for connection means they feel even more disconnected from the person they become to achieve this connection. Decalcomania refers to the process by which engravings are transferred to another surface (paper, pottery etc). It ties back to Ketu's need to be marked upon, they need something to make an impression on them, literally, because otherwise it does not feel real to them. Jungkook is asking himself to transfer the person he sees on screen to himself, so that he can embody the lightness and joy he sees on him.

Jungkook has another solo song called My Time in which he sings:

"24, feels like I became a grown-up faster than everyone else My life has been a movie, all the time I ran to where the sun rises every single night It's like I've been to someone's tomorrow The boy who found the world too big Keep on runnin' errday, pick the mic up Friends ridin' subway, I'll be in the aeroplane mode All over the world rock on, I made my own lotto But is it too fast? There are traces of losses Don't know what to do with, am I livin' this right? Why am I alone in a different time and space?"

Nodal natives (both Rahu & Ketu) regardless of whether they're child stars or not, have to grow up faster than others. This again makes them feel very disconnected from kids their age, you feel vv lonely.

Oh, I think I was in yesterday 'Cause everybody walk too fast I'm a little kid grown up not knowing it (Like a child who got lost) This got me oh just trippin’ It feels I'm roaming over Don't know what to do with, am I livin' this right? Why am I alone in a different time and space?

It feels confusing and disorienting to live a life that others cant relate to you. Immense wealth and fame can make you feel this way but Ketuvians feel this way in general. They look around them and they feel lost like everybody else is moving too fast.

"Sometimes when I'm gasping for air I wear my hat low and keep running Yeah, I don't gotta know where I go Even if it's opposite of sun One time for the present Two time for the past Happy that we met each other Now 'til the very end"

He's expressing his gratitude for everything even though it feels so alienating and confusing.

There is another song called Stay Alive in which he sings:

"그림잔 커져가지만 Although my shadow grows larger,

괜찮아 너란 큰 빛 덕분이니 It’s okay because it’s thanks to the great light that is you"

This is such a sincere explanation of what its like to be a Ketuvian in the limelight, he's thankful for having such a vast fanbase, the source of his "light" (remember that Ketu is in darkness and is always seeking light) but chasing this light means having to morph into somebody else/feeling disconnected from yourself which he succinctly expresses through the line "my shadow grows larger". Since Ketu is in perpetual darkness and is a shadow planet, it does not confront its shadow on its own. Its the seeking, the constant chasing for the light which they need that brings them to see their shadow.

Perhaps you feel very void and disconnected in general but you have a friend or a partner who makes you feel very tethered, through them you absorb their light but this also means you learn to look at yourself more clearly (Ketuvians are blind to their own nature) and this can be a very disconcerting and difficult experience if you've seldom ever felt "seen".

Emma Watson, Ashwini Sun, Mula Moon

I remember reading this interview in like 2010 where she said that whilst doing red carpets for the last Harry Potter movies she would have these moments where she looked into the mirror and felt very disconnected from the person she saw.

She subsequently turned to yoga and meditation and is even a certified yoga instructor. She has also mentioned going on silent retreats.

Ketu natives truly find balance in their lives when they cultivate a spiritual practice and devote themselves to it. Emma has largely stayed out of the limelight in the last decade or so and will probably continue to do so, this is very Ketuvian again, these natives find social interactions, especially the kind of intensive press tour celebrity life to be very draining, they need to retreat and do things in a way that is "real" to them. Emma has spoken about taking a break from acting and working behind the scenes.

Jungkook deleted his IG despite having 40+ million followers and like most Ketu natives he is very private and has no social media. It does not feel natural or real to them.

In her British Vogue interview, Emma said,

"...Her characters have felt, at times, “much realer” than she was. “I’m just so glad that I did [step away from acting] because I have this feeling of having my own voice and creative space and sovereignty in some way that I don’t think I did before".

This time has allowed Watson to concentrate on her “inner scorecard” (how you feel about yourself on the inside), versus her “outer scorecard” (your outward success, as seen on social media, for example). “I get a front row seat [with] some of the most successful, beautiful, incredible people in the world,” she says of Hollywood’s inner sanctum. “And when you have that seat it becomes very, very clear that there is just absolutely no level of success that will make you in any way happy or content if you do not like who you are or enjoy what you’re doing when no one’s watching.”

All of this feels like evolved, balanced and mature Ketu energy.

Miranda Kerr, Ashwini Sun

She is another person who I've always thought embodies a very healthy and evolved Ketuvian energy

Here's an excerpt from her interview:

“First, I try to do a little meditation and yoga, depending on how I feel. I've been meditating since I was 18. I've learnt Transcendental Meditation and Kriya Yoga Meditation, but sometimes I'm just too much in my head and so I need to put on an app. I use Insight Timer, which has different guided meditations, from a five- or 10-minute meditation or deeper ones which help if I can't sleep.

“Gratitude puts everything into perspective. The way that we speak to ourselves is really important, and to be aware to pull yourself up if you’re being self-critical and try and look at things in a positive way. For example, we can look outside and say, ‘oh my goodness, I can't believe it's raining’, or we can look outside and go, ‘well, it's cosy when it rains, I'd love to be inside and I get to wear my favourite scarf’ – we can switch our whole perspective on so many things. For me, waking up in the morning and thinking of at least three things I’m grateful for is so important. Just simple things like, ‘I’m grateful that we have fresh running water’.”

Salma Hayek, Magha Rising

Salma has been practising meditation and yoga for decades and has said: “It’s actually feeling the energy,” she said. “It moves and it dances inside of you, different sensations and emotions. So I use a lot of the frequency machines.”

Hayek claimed that her meditation works wonders for her appearance. “Sometimes when I’m doing it, people tell me when I come out of the room, ‘Oh my god. You look 20 again,'" she said.

She also warned that if she stopped meditating, her face would suffer. “When I don’t do it for a while, guess what?” she said. “The face starts to drop and everything starts to drop.”

Spirituality comes easier for women than men imo and Ketuvian women are more likely to buy into all things spiritual like crystal cleansing, chakra reading and even other offbeat spiritual techniques.

Gigi Hadid, Ashwini Sun & Rising

Gigi is another person who embodies really healthy Ketuvian energy

In her interviews, she always sounds very grounded and tethered. She said:

"I got pregnant and I really started to think about what I wanted after, when the world opened back up. (she got pregnant during covid) It kept coming back to just a more stabilized schedule where I’m not in a different country every week. This is very stabilizing. I have an office that I come to. I know everyone here. I don’t have to look a certain way to show up. It’s a different experience for me, and it was the right time because I was ready for that,” 

To realize what is causing you to feel unstable and deliberately manoeuvre your life to create that stability requires self-awareness and maturity.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mula Moon

He has talked about how bodybuilding and building his physique really helped him feel connected to himself in a different way. I think this is an interesting manifestation of Ketu's disconnection and need to go to extremes to feel anything. Arnold's workout routine from his Mr World days is pretty insane, he worked harder than anybody else and was single-mindedly focused on it. Pushing yourself to such extremes and committing to it is difficult but those Ketuvians who can do so will benefit from it immensely.

Ketu is detached from the material realm. For a Ketu native that isn't tuned into their spiritual side, this can mean feeling disconnected in general but the blessings of retreating to spirituality, slowness, stillness etc means shifting to a version of life where you feel anchored within yourself without depending on anybody or anything to feel that way.

All of the people I mentioned above turned away from the spotlight or made choices to make their lives more grounded and stable and as a result they feel content and satiated. They are detached from the material realm but firmly tethered to the things that matter to them.

I just wanted to make a brief post about how Ketuvians embrace their shadows and how spirituality anchors them.

I hope this was insightful.

[sillysiluriforme]

So glad you liked the other Chloe submission, thanks for the informative and entertaining response and the kind words from the comrades!

As before no worries if not interested but I did have a couple more thoughts, though be it these one's likely relate very specifically to teen Chloe so may not be useful/interesting but still.

Oh quick aside:

Not sure how prevalent Sabrina is, but the fact we see her dad encourage her master servant dynamic with Chloe, because it fits his definition of being "Useful" to society and how... Low key unhinged Sabrina can get about her usefulness not being utilized or acknowledge (Like with Marinette) is very interesting. Her & Chloe finding each other in canon is just like two people with hilariously complimentary but deeply unhealthy ideas forming a circular relationship of mutual self destruction.

Anyway, an interesting thing to me is how while Chloe does replicate the abusive behaviors taught (Andre) or demonstrated (Audrey,, Gabriel & Emilie) to her, she had already softened them without any real moral or empathic guidance.

Andre: He explicitly taught her cheating, extortion & threats are moral goods, and she does use them to try and win at things. But she doesn't actually utilize them that often or with as much intensity.

& like her father she uses money/gifts to compensate for shitty behavior but unlike him does, ya know, do things with Sabrina & is invested in their relationship outside of Sabrina's use as a tool.

& while she did use Sabrina as a shield in Zombisu, she also protected her in Ladybug, so its at least mote mutual as I cannot envision Andre doing anything for Chloe that really risks him.

Audrey: She's been impersonating her mother for years in a bid to earn her love but it didn't work until someone else made Audrey decide it was worthwhile & even then didn't seem to amount to much.

So while like Audrey she is antagonistic, haughty and rude, Chloe did actually demonstrate the ability to feel guilt (Zombisu but others too) & when Akumatized in the early series was not terribly murderous.

Compare that to Audrey who happily mulches her husband and daughter despite AKuma usually avoiding hurting their loved one's outside of indirect harm done by their warped attempts to protect.

Gabriel & Emilie: She clearly fucking hates that Adrien is making friends with people she hates and who hate her and is possessive of the relationship.

Yet until everything goes to hell, she doesn't really do much to try and stop him or undermine said relationships either. That is to say, she's already far less possessive & controlling than Emilie of Gabriel are.

Conclusion: So yeah while definitely not good, she had seemingly without much if any guidance, already made the abusive traits she picked up less toxic than those demonstrated by the adults around her.

Note: Also I always feel compelled to note this, but it is low key creepy Andre has been rewarding Chloe for impersonating his wife.

Like even if he's just instinctively recreating the dynamic he had with Audrey; not sure on that as they do seem to argue a lot.

Or is just using Chloe as an emotional crutch/ego-soothing proxy for Audrey's approval... Its still deeply messed up & unhealthy.

you're so smart @clemnoir was right you deserve sloppy head

I love thinking about child development when it comes to fictional characters, it's so fun...Also i don't care how much the show tries i will never have empathy for andre i hope he explodes into a fine mist

[yanderes-galore]

Can I get a Steven from Steven Universe Future yandere alphabet, please?

Sure! Here's what I came up with :)

Original Steven Concept I Did Here.

Yandere Alphabet - Steven Universe

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Clingy behavior, Fear of loss, Trauma/PTSD, Steven's a mess, Blood, Violence mention, Attachment issues, Jealousy, Anger issues, Manipulation, Stalking, Kidnapping, Dark themes, Poor mental health, Angst, Possessive behavior, General yandere themes, Delusional behavior, Unhealthy behavior, Forced relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Steven is naturally clingy due to his past. He doesn't like leaving you so he comes off as smothering. He's used to losing others and now that he's found someone new... he doesn't want to let go.

Steven comes off as intense, even when he doesn't mean to. He just wants to cover you in hugs and kisses. He just wants to feel your warmth and not be alone again.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Steven has always been a person who wants to solve problems by talking them out. However, with his new unpredictability... there may be times he gets more violent than he'd like to be.

He feels conflicted and horrible the moment he sees blood on his hands. Yet he quickly hides it. After all... you shouldn't view him as a monster just yet, right?

He wants to enjoy you for a while longer before you leave him.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Steven would not purposefully try to mock you unless you set him off or something. He's impulsive though, which may lead to him kidnapping you without thinking things through.

Abduction would be a last ditch effort for him to not lose his darling. He cares for you the best he can all while trying to self soothe himself in your embrace. In abduction you can truly see how messed up the poor young man is.

He always asks how he can help. He denies you your freedom and quickly becomes the only thing you see. He's in denial of everything... including his toxicity.

He's been struggling to find a purpose, but when he meets you... He just knows he's needed you since he met you.

He just hopes you understand him... eventually.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He probably doesn't mean to, but it ends up happening anyways. He's so caught up in what he wants or trying to "help" and "care" for you... only to forget you really need space, not him.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He may try to hide it, but in the end he's very vulnerable with you. He struggles to be open but it ends up spilling out of him anyways. When he's vulnerable... it's almost upsetting when he holds you close and sobs.

However... he's still dangerous... and you know that.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Genuinely upset and you may set off his temper. He may fight back verbally, but even with just words... his powers can get hectic by accident.

If he ever hurt you by accident, he pauses and either isolates himself or tries to make things better again.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No and he hates it.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Well, with this one there can be a lot of candidates due to how volatile Steven can be. As I said before, he'd never mean to hurt you but he may do it by accident.

Seeing his mental breakdowns... seeing him snap at others... at some point he'll take it too far.

In a fit of desperation, he may accidentally harm you or someone close to you. You're terrified once you see his hands and the floor covered in blood. The realization of what he's done may break both of you.

The thought is unnerving... as that blood can either belong to someone you know... or you.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

In the end, somehow, Steven wants to have you two married and happy together. Yet he's so emotionally driven and plagued with trauma, that even if you tried to help him, it only hurts the both of you.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Yes. Steven has a fear of being left behind. So when he sees you turn your attention to other people, it affects him. He'll usually try to deal with it alone, often going into a depressive state and crying about it in his room.

Honestly, him just being sad is the better option. All you have to do is comfort him afterwards. Although... he is fully capable of lashing out, which would be dangerous for anyone around him. We've seen in Future how he gets.

Left unchecked and someone may get hurt.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Obsessive, Clingy, Affectionate, Manipulative, Controlling, Needy, Volatile, Possessive, Intimidating, Caring, Smothering.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Pulling from my older concept, you two most likely met after he left home to have a fresh start. You offer to be his friend, to help him, and he ends up feeling attached. However... soon friendship turns into more than friendship.

He wants you to be lovers, to be married, to support him.

He's moving too fast with his feelings which causes issues for both of you. He stresses out over the fact you don't feel the same and worries you'll leave him. He doesn't want to lose you...

So it seems he must prevent that somehow.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Well, he's not really trying to mask anything. He may try to hide his darker nature... but you'll find out eventually.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He doesn't like hurting you, the only times he does is by accident. So your punishment may be something like... forcing you by his side or something like that. Isolation punishes him too, so he'll do the opposite.

He'll use his powers to chain you to his side until he knows you won't leave him.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Most of them if it meant he wouldn't be left behind.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

I like to think at first he's really patient... but as he gets worse and worse... he's impatient.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Honestly, if anything bad happened to you, he'd snap. Like... monster Steven snap.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

A little and maybe.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Childhood trauma. One of the main things dealt with in Future.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Steven is used to helping. He'd do whatever he can to see you happy again. Sometimes he's even unaware that he could be the one causing it due to his delusions. He'll hold you close, kiss your head, and just stay beside you. He hates it when you're upset.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

SKIPPED

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Get this man the help he needs, put up boundaries, and probably get the poor man a therapist. He'll be much easier to manage. (Also he just really needs help.)

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Unintentionally, afterwards he panics and tries to fix things.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Steven may actually be a worship yandere at times. There's times he's just so grateful that you want to help him and he just wants to keep you forever. He'd do anything to have you. Just so he can keep your warmth all to himself.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Anything from months to a couple years.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Not on purpose.

[kooktrash]

love lies | jeon jungkook [2]

summary: an arrogant womanizer who’s spent his life numb to love. an unlovable romantic who’s been hurt one too many times. he’s your friend’s ex boyfriend and soon everyone will find out about your lies.

warnings: 14.9k. angst. smut. yandere jungkook. college student au. rich kid jungkook. f!reader. unhealthy attachment. manipulation. gaslighting. slutshaming. toxic friendships. implied emotional trauma from both ends. daddy issues/mommy issues. jungkook dated your friend. stalking. strange behavior in relationship. oral [both receiving] and probs a lot more warnings. series.

song inspo: tv — billie eilish

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Something dark was dancing its way into him. He’s never considered himself a good guy but now he feels that’s even further than the truth. He wants to be a good guy for you and he’d do anything to achieve that but you can’t forget his true character. You’re making him work for it after he thought it’d be smooth sailing. After sleeping with you, he didn’t want to leave your bed. He was ready to ditch classes the next day and keep you all to himself. The only reason he rushed out the next morning is because you missed your alarm and needed to get to class. He drove you to your campus and begged to see you yesterday but you had work and refused to call in for him. Today you had plans with your stupid ass friends.

Now he’s stuck at some strip club with friends while his eyes stayed glued to his phone. He was waiting for a text from you telling him when he could come over but he knows it’ll be some time before that happens. For now he’s stuck here with these guys.

“You know, Kook, you’re starting to worry me,” Jimin said as he leaned over the table to wave a hand in front of Jungkook’s face, “Who’s got you so focused on your phone tonight that you can’t pay attention to the dancers?” Jimin was sandwiched between two exotic dancers in lingerie who wrinkled his Givenchy suit. He motioned for the one closest to Jungkook to pay him attention but Jungkook didn’t even react. Instead, he zoomed in on your location on Find My IPhone.

He convinced you to share locations with him since he’d be picking you up from campus and work now. Technically, you’ve only been dating a couple days but Jungkook doesn’t know how to take things slow. He copied the address it showed you were at and went to Safari to paste it. You were currently at some restaurant probably sitting across the table from that mystery guy Yeonwoo was trying to set you up with. He could easily show up and announce the two of you were dating but you told him if he did that then you’d end things right there. Apparently you needed time before admitting your relationship with him.

Too focused on letting his mind conjure up worst case scenarios, a cold liquid was drenching his designer jeans. His eyes narrowed looking over to the dancer who knocked over his drink all over his lap. Her eyes widened, “I’m so sorry sir, I—“

“Go,” was all he said before the girl was scurrying away. Fuck he didn’t even want to be here, he wanted to be with you. The only reason he came out tonight is because he didn’t want to be home alone. Since the only person he wanted to sleep with was busy and not a single girl on his phone interested him, he didn’t have anyone else to be with but his friends. He even asked them to go somewhere else but they said no.

It’s not like he hasn’t been to a strip club while in a relationship. Hell, half the time when Soomin would annoy the fuck out of him, he’d leave with his friends to one. He’d let girls give him lap dances and whisper dirty things in his ear all while his girlfriend was crying because of the things he told her. The only tears he wanted to make you shed would be from how good he’s fucking you. Three rounds, that’s how much you went at it the other day and it still wasn’t enough for him. He needed more.

“You’ve got a new play thing or something?” Hoseok asked trying to peak at Jungkook’s phone but he just turned it away as he began texting you. He shook his head, “My girlfriend’s not a play thing.”

“That’s a first,” Jin chuckled earning a glare from the younger that had him smiling, “I’m just saying. You don’t have a good track record when it comes to relationships. You break more hearts than Jimin here.”

“We’re different though. I’m at least considerate,” Jimin joked but didn’t deny the notion that he was equally as much of a womanizer as Jungkook, “He’ll treat a girl like shit then ghost her without an explanation.” Jungkook rolled his eyes reading over his text waiting to see when you’d open it. You had your read receipts off and he didn’t like that. He had to know if you were ignoring him or not.

“Who’s the new one this time?” Hoseok asked trying to get Jungkook’s attention again but you had responded and he was focusing on that instead as he muttered, “Y/n.”

“Why does that name sound familiar?” Jin asked looking at the other two for answers but they both seemed equally confused. You met his friends only one time when Soomin invited you to a party with him and her at Hoseok’s place. He was very happy to have you as a plus one to him and Soomin that night. He had an excuse to pay attention to you since Soomin told him he had to make you feel comfortable because they were his friends. God, he really never realized how much you meant to him until just a week ago when he saw you after months of thinking about you. He didn’t even care if you had had a boyfriend, he would’ve worked his way around that.

“Wait a damn minute, is that Soomin’s friend? That girl you used to date?” Jimin cut in with an amused smile, “You dog. You broke the girl’s heart and now you’ve gotta break her friend’s too?” Jungkook rolled his eyes, leg bouncing anxiously watching the three dots appear in your gray text bubble waiting for your response. Jin’s brows furrowed observing his friend’s strange behavior. Usually when a girl is blowing up Jungkook’s phone he blocks them without another word. He says he doesn’t have the patience for someone clingy and yet here he is only thinking about wanting to see you. And he’s getting annoyed that you keep telling him not tonight. He wants to see you now while you’re out having lunch with two guys, Yeonwoo’s boyfriend or not, he’s still another guy Jungkook has to worry about. If he had a small crush on you while dating Soomin, who knows what other guy in a relationship feels the same. He couldn’t take his chances.

He tilted his neck in a stretch to rid the tension in his muscles. Your most recent text was bothering him.

jungkook: what are you doing rn

you: just got to the bar with Soomin

jungkook: barely? who’s all there

you: me, yeonwoo, soomin, namjoon and taehyung

jungkook: who’s taehyung

you: namjoon’s friend

jungkook: the guy yeonwoo wants to set you up with?

jungkook: where are you

jungkook: I’m picking you up

“Earth to Y/n,” Soomin said as the five of you sat around a table all with drinks in your hands. You just finished dinner with the others and Soomin met up with you all at the bar. Like usual, you hugged and said the typical ‘omg I missed you’ before moving on. During dinner you actually enjoyed talking to Taehyung. He was charming and attractive so you understood why Yeonwoo kept pushing you toward him but things were complicated. You looked up at Soomin setting your phone facing down on the table, “What happened?”

“Who’s blowing up your phone?” She asked with an amused smile but you could feel Yeonwoo’s stare toward you. You blinked in thought, “My coworker. He’s trying to switch shifts but I don’t want to.”

“Where do you work?” Taehyung asked and you were thankful he was stopping anymore questions Soomin or Yeonwoo might have. You turned to look at him with a smile, “I work at this clothing store by my apartment. It’s small but pretty popular.”

“How many people work there?” He asked clearly interested. You had a feeling he was a little interested in you but there was nothing you could do. You cleared your throat, “Three of us aside from the owners.” Your phone buzzed once more and everyone heard the echo of the vibration on the table.

jungkook: or should I just show up and see for myself?

you: :( can you just come over later? no need to come get me

jungkook: you don’t want to see me?

you: I do but I’m busy

jungkook: too busy for me? :( and with another guy

you: fine come get me

jungkook: perfect. be there in ten

Your brows furrowed, where was he that he was so close? You looked up, your eyes meeting Yeonwoo’s who smiled, “Come with me to get another drink.” You bit your lips nervously nodding your head and following after her. The two of you got to the bar and waiting for her to put her order in was giving you anxiety because you knew she wanted to talk. She looked over to you, “You’ve been acting weirder than usual.”

“How?” You asked looking down at your phone and checking the time. She gave a shrug of her shoulders stopping to pay for her drink and turned to you again, “You’re acting like you’re in another relationship with another asshole.”

“I know how you get when you’re seeing someone. You get antsy and suspicious like you’re doing something wrong—which you are,” Yeonwoo said firmly, “Not that getting in relationships is wrong obviously but it’s the guys you tend to go for who are. I don’t want you to tell me who you’re seeing but I have my own suspicions. I won’t tell anyone but just don’t leave us—me—out. I’m looking out for you, I know I can be hard on you sometimes but it’s because you’re my best friend now.”

“I’m not shutting anyone out,” you tried focusing on one thing she said at a time. You had to be careful with your responses and not expose yourself. You already know how she’d react if she found out you were seeing Jungkook.

“Yeah, whenever you’re in a relationship you act different. Just two weeks ago you were crying your eyes out because of Doyoung, and now you’re completely fine?” Yeonwoo said , “What is wrong with you?”

You didn’t say anything. It’s easy for you to come off as weak and that’s the way everyone saw you. You’re the one too stupid, too naive, too weak, too wrong. It’s pretty much all you heard for a very long time so hearing that sort of thing from your friend didn’t really phase you. You knew that nothing you did would make them happy and you know she only kept you around because she pitied you. It’s why she spends so much time derailing you on everything you do being wrong. Even if majority of the time she was a bitch to you, you cherished the small times you actually had a good time together. And maybe it’s your fault by clinging onto the good to ignore how bad the bad was.

You just really didn’t want to lose people in your life because then what would you become? You’re pretty much useless in your own eyes so what’s wrong with letting the people around use you too? Hell, Jungkook was probably using you too and you were letting him, and why?

Because it means you’re wanted.

For a long time you strived for perfection in relationships. Any form of relationship actual. The perfect child. Perfect student. Perfect friend. Perfect girlfriend. You’d given up on the first two long ago when nothing you did meant shit to your mother and it had just gotten too exhausting. Then you were too stupid depressed to focus on your grades and there went your imagination as the perfect student. You knew long before fucking Jungkook that you weren’t a good friend so what was all that was left? Being the perfect girlfriend. So would you really care about your friend’s judging your dating history when you’re determined to find the right one?

You’re not saying it’s Jungkook but what if it is? Maybe it was just bad luck that he was Soomin’s ex. From the way you saw him act with Soomin, he hasn’t done with you. Maybe you’re in the honeymoon phase but you wouldn’t know until you stuck it out. Plus, you kind of really liked him and how interested in you he seemed to be.

“And I’m a little upset you won’t even give Taehyung a chance. He’s a great guy,” Yeonwoo said ignoring your silence, used to your disassociating and just moved on. You began walking back to where the others were. You knew Taehyung was great, you figured that out tonight for yourself but you’re not thinking about him right now. You’re supposed to be in a new relationship with Jungkook. The only reason you agreed on the double date before Soomin came by was because you had already said yes to it before Jungkook asked you out.

Just as you got to the table, your phone buzzed with a text from Jungkook saying he was outside. You looked to all the others as Yeonwoo took her seat, “I think I’m gonna go. I’ll see you in class?”

Your cold eyes met hers as you started gathering your things. Soomin looked to you worried, “How are you getting home? The last bus passed already.”

“I’ll get a cab,” you said as you smiled letting it light your whole face but it was forced. “Well, bye.”

You weren’t even ten feet away from the table when you could hear Soomin ask, “Does Y/n have another boyfriend?” You didn’t hear Yeonwoo’s response but frankly you didn’t care. You understood where she’s coming from but it’s unfair and total bullshit to you. You were younger than the others so they always tried ‘looking out for you’ but in reality it was just an excuse they used to try and get you to do what they want. Like, Yeonwoo complains about the fact that you’re always in a new relationship meanwhile she’s trying to get you to go out with Taehyung. The way you two talked was like old friends, not people sexually attracted to each other.

Just outside the bar you found Jungkook. He was looking down at his phone and part of you wished he would’ve just waited in the car. You’re not embarrassed to be with him, the contrary actually. Girls turned their heads left and right to see him and yet you’re the one with him no matter how new everything was. You just didn’t want to risk your friends knowing more. Plus, right now you’re not even sure if he wants you. For all you know, he can dump you in a week because you’re too needy. Then everyone would hate you for even dating him and that’s why you think you should keep it on the low till you know he actually wants to be with you. The only way to find that out is by expecting the most show of affection from him.

Jungkook looked to his left at the exact moment you’d gotten to the sidewalk heading in his direction. He couldn’t help the way his tongue poked against his cheek in irritation at the sight. You wore a pretty little dress that he adored on you but you weren’t wearing it for Jungkook. You were wearing it for that guy Yeonwoo was trying to set you up with. He forced his rising jealous down as he attempted a smile to brighten his appearance. He put his phone away moving to meet you halfway and though you went for a small hug, he crouched down so his arms could wrap around your thighs lifting you up as he leaned upward for a kiss. You met him with half-assed effort practically leaning away from him and he let you go softly, looking down at you in confusion.

So you’re ignoring him now? Did that guy charm you so much that you’re over Jungkook before you actually gave him a real chance? All these thoughts raised through his head and it was driving him insane. You’re not leaving him, right? He doesn’t like to be left. He likes to do the leaving. But he doesn’t want to leave you just because you’re over him. He’s going to give you whatever you want as long as you know he should be the more important one to you.

Every girl he’s been with, he’s left because they aren’t worth staying over. All women do is use you and then leave you. He’s seen it firsthand as a kid. His hatred toward women probably had to deal with his mom. Or his dad but that was still up for debate. On one hand, he had a mother who abandoned him when he was seven. On the other, he has a piece of shit father who will degrade him for not being ‘man enough’. So, do you think he really gives a fuck about leaving a girl just because he’s sick of her?

He doesn’t. What he does give a fuck about is being left. So if you try and leave him right now, he’s not sure what he’l— “Are we going to leave or just sit in this parking lot the entire night?”

“If we stay will you be sitting on my dick all night?” He asked teasingly, all thoughts in his head vanishing the second he had to put on an act. You rolled your eyes, “So I’m just for sex?”

“That’s not how I meant it,” his voice dropped, not a single hint of teasing now. What was wrong with you. He clearly doesn’t think that. “Well how was I supposed to know that?”

He’s not sure how to respond. He knew that he was clearly no gentleman and he has used way too many girls for sex [all consensual] so in reality he understood why you felt that way. He’s never cared about it before, in fact he’s actually boasted about it. There was nothing Jungkook couldn’t have if he wanted it. So did you really think he cared about using people for his own desires? No, he didn’t. But now you’re trying to paint him as the bad guy like he’s going to do it to you and it’s bullshit.

He’s used to being confronted like this but he’s not used to actually caring so what is he supposed to do? “I’m not using you for sex,” he muttered, “Is it hard to believe I’m really just into you.”

“It is,” you said and he sighed. “Alright, what do I have to do to prove to you that I’m serious.”

“I don’t know, when you show it, I’ll know.”

Jungkook’s been overthinking things lately. He doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like having to worry about things he never used to and it’s all your fault. Sometimes, you don’t answer his texts, other times you blow up his phone. He never knows what mood you’ll be in and though you usually go with whatever he says, sometimes you do the complete opposite. He’s not sure what you want from him. He loves you but you don’t believe him. You still think he’s going to leave you and that pisses him off. What’s he supposed to do to show you he won’t? That’s why you don’t open up to him. You’re fine letting him take control but then when he wants more from you, you can’t. You’re an emotional person and he knows that, why you won’t be that way around him? He’s not sure. He knows he’s changed, since when has he ever cared for his girlfriends emotions.

November 16th, 2021

“Baby, are you mad at me?” Soomin had asked. It was close to the end of their relationship and Jungkook just couldn’t stand her. She was getting too clingy, too needy and he didn’t like that. He didn’t want her all up on him unless he asks her to. What’s worse is that she’s acting like this in front of her friends. She’s on his lap, touching his hair, laughing too loud in his ear. It was overwhelming his senses and he hated every second of it. He couldn’t resist the roll of his eyes as he tried scooting away from her so he could have space. She was in his personal bubble and he didn’t want her there. He didn’t want to talk to her, hell he didn’t even want to look at her. Instead, he looked at you. You were smiling over something on your phone and when Yeonwoo asked you what it was you just said it was some guy you were talking to.

He’s already felt on edge today and he’s tried distancing himself but Soomin doesn’t give him space. She thinks he’s mad at her. Of course she thinks it’s about her. Everything is about her apparently.

“Why do you always ask me the same damn thing? Do you want me to be? Cause you’re really annoying the fuck out of me right now,” he muttered under his breath in fear that you would hear him. Soomin looked hurt but she just nodded instead of arguing with him. He had a headache and he wanted to leave. He’s supposed to sleep over tonight but he doesn’t know if he wants to anymore. He’s not sure he can spend another night with Soomin. She’s driving him crazy, just completely fed up. What’s up with her being so damn needy? Give him his space, please. He’ll call her when he wants to, she doesn’t need to be bothering him all the fucking time.

They sat in silence, listening to what Yoongi was saying as he sat between you and Yeonwoo. Jungkook was actually happy with the peace and quiet now, finally he didn’t have to hear her voice. Fuck, he was annoyed now. He stood up suddenly, pushing her foot out of the way as he left to her room. He just needed a moment by himself. Clearly he wasn’t going to get that though because just two minutes later, Soomin was following. He took a deep breath as she entered the room, “What do you want?”

This is why he hates relationships. He can’t even get a minute to himself. Soomin sat on the edge of her bed next to him, “What’s wrong? Why are you upset?”

“Because you keep bothering me,” he said when in truth he was upset before she badgered him. His eyes were on hers seeing the flash of hurt cross them at his harsh tone. Yes, get upset, can’t she see he can’t even pretend to care about her right now? He decided to keep going, “You’re so fucking clingy, you know that? You can’t just leave me alone for one minute? You just had to follow me. Your friends are out there so go worry about them and leave me alone. I don’t want to deal with you right now.”

“Why are you being such a dick right now?” She asked close to tears but he didn’t care. He scoffed in disbelief, already feeling a hint of a tantrum before of the fact that she wouldn’t just stop. He groaned loudly, “Because I’m telling you that I want some space and you’re too fucking stupid to listen!”

“Oh my god,” he huffed in annoyance as he looked over at her catching her wiping tears away, “Are you seriously crying right now? You’re gonna walk out there and make me look like the bad guy because you’re crying. You’re so fucking selfish Soomin. If you would’ve just left me alone when I asked you to then I wouldn’t have yelled at you but clearly you’ve got nothing inside that little head of yours.”

“I get that you’re mad over who knows what but you don’t have to take it out on me. I’m just trying to talk to you an—“ “That’s the God damn problem! I don’t want to talk to you, isn’t that fucking obvious? There’s a reason I came in here and you had to follow. Now you’re playing victim and making me out to be the bad guy because you can’t get the hint that you’re what’s pissing me off right now? Give me a break,” Jungkook was standing now, he was ready to just go home. He picked up his backpack of things as he looked up at her, “And stop crying, you look so dumb.”

“Fuck you Jungkook,” she cried making him laugh. “You already do.” She glared at him, “Just leave.” “I already am.”

He didn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone. He was already fed up and he was done talking to her. Everyone must’ve heard their argument because they were all dead silent but he didn’t care. He hated today and he was ready to leave. Yeah whatever, he’s been on edge all day and now he’s taking it out on Soomin, who the fuck cares. If she didn’t like it then she could leave him. He’d gladly let her. But he knows she won’t and that’s what he takes advantage of. He just needed someone to be his emotional punching bag because he hated today. When he got to his car he looked at his phone, a text from his older brother that only made him more annoyed than ever.

junghyun: todays the day mom left

November 16th, 2022

You felt like you couldn’t breathe, your body aches and you can’t do anything about it. A warm body laid over yours forcing you on your back the last two hours. Jungkook just wouldn’t wake up, he’s completely knocked out crushing you under him. It was cute kind of, he came over when you got off work and the first thing he did was crawl into your bed and rest his head on your chest. You fell asleep for a while but after being tired of laying in the same position, you woke up. It was no use though, Jungkook was still fast asleep clearly exhausted about something but you’re not sure what. He didn’t even go to class today and it’s not like he has a job with the monthly allowance of a few grand his dad gave him, he had nothing better to do than wait for you to have time for him.

It was still strange to think of how gentle Jungkook was with you. You remember all the screaming matches him and Soomin used to have and now you’re wondering if you’re living on borrowed time. If soon enough he’ll be yelling and degrading you the same way he used to do with Soomin. Even knowing all that you’re still letting yourself fall for him. You’re still going out with him and letting him hold you when you should be disgusted with him. He’s an arrogant asshole and you’re the stupid fool slowly falling in love with him. You just didn’t want him to leave when he’s telling you he loves you like nobody else can—and yet deep down you don’t believe it. You still want more. You want him to mean it. To prove it.

His body seemed to shiver and for a second you thought he was waking up. But instead, he was shoving his face into your neck, fluffy bed hair tickling your face. You felt needed at the moment and you kind of like that.

It was only a moment later that your phone was lighting up the dark room. You reached out for it making Jungkook shift a little and as you read the name of the caller, you visibly dejected. The phone landed on your pillow hoping to let it ring and finally the call ended. Good.

You let your eyes shut hoping to go back to sleep when it was going off again. With a small groan you took a deep breath in preparation before answering the phone as quietly as possible. “Hello?”

“It’s nice of you to finally answer, did you not see my first call?”

You let your eyes roll bring the phone away from your phone to see if Jungkook was still sleeping. He was, cheek squished on your collarbone, lips slightly parted, and legs pinning yours down. He was clinging onto you pressing you between him and the bed. You had to make this call quick unless you wanted to wake him up, “I was sleeping.”

“You know, I really wish you’d call more, I’m your mother, I wonder how you’re doing,” she said through the phone and it only seemed to bother you even more. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah that’s hard to believe Y/n, all you’ve done since you moved is shut me out, it’s like my little girl isn’t here anymore,” she said, “Oh, and I was looking at one of your posts, and—now, this might just be me—but have you been eating differently? Your body looks different and I know how you get about your looks so I just had to tell you. Maybe try and diet better, get more sleep because you look tired an—“

You were ready to hang up the phone just now. Jungkook was starting to move around more and you just wanted to hang up. You don’t think you could put up with her tonight. If she wants to talk about your body and how you should strive for perfection instead of letting yourself go then she could bring it up another day. Jungkook released a soft groan right into the ear the phone was pressed again, your mom stop mid-sentence. “Is that a man?” She asked now, “When are you going to settle down? This soon? Well, I guess nows the chance to find a man who can take over you since you can’t do it yourself. I’m just thinking about you’re future. You’re pretty and young but you’re not all there honey. I know you don’t like getting hurt but sometimes you have to go through those things to find love. Nows your chance. Do you think anyone’s going to want you when you’re my age? I’d kill to have the body I had at your age.”

“I’ve given up so much for you,” she said now, “You know how hard it was to raise you when your father walked out? All I ask from you is to call me, and settle down. I just worry that you’ll never find anyone, or nobody would want you. You used to be so perfect.”

“Is this what you called for?” “What’s got you in a mood? Is it that gu—“

“Hang up the phone,” a voice murmured and as you looked down, Jungkook’s eyes were on yours. You didn’t do it quick enough because he was hanging it up for you. He rolled off you, stretching his limbs as he laid next to you now. You had a text from your mom saying you were rude but you ignored it moving to stand up when his hand reached for your arm. You looked back at him as his brows furrowed, “Where are you going?”

“To the bathroom, you’ve been laying on me for hours,” you said standing up. He checked the time and date on his phone, great. It was still November 16th. He watched you walk away and for some reason that made him anxious so he was sitting up to go after you. “Who was that on the phone?” Your bathroom door was slightly open so you could hear him just fine but you acted like you didn’t. Once you were done you were at the sink washing your hands. Jungkook was at the door now, arms crossed over his chest, “Who was it?”

“My mother,” you walked past him, missing the way his jaw tensed following you to your bed again. You looked at your vanity mirror off to the side of the bed. She’s right, you do look different and nobody will want you if you look like this. Jungkook wouldn’t. Maybe you just needed to put effort into yourself, he was crazy to want to have sex with you when you looked like this. You know, it’d be really nice to talk to someone who wouldn’t constantly bash on literally anything about you but seems like those are the only people you attract. Your mother and friends were perfect examples of people calling out every single mistake you make.

Maybe that’s why you run to a relationship for an escape. Men don’t question you because they only want one thing and that’s better than being judged for everything you do. It’s like, after your dad left all that your mother did was tear you down. Constantly reminding you how nobody would want you if you’re not perfect because that’s how she felt about your dad leaving. If she would’ve been prettier, thinner, younger, he wouldn’t have left to start a new family. Then, you wouldn’t have been stuck with your mother running to a man and begging him to stay for you like your father didn’t. What made it worse was the close relationship with your dad only for him to walk out on you. That’s why you tried being a perfect girlfriend, so men don’t leave but they still do. Even when you play the naive and gullible girlfriend, your lies begin to unravel.

“What are you thinking about?” A kiss was placed on your shoulder from behind you. You forced a smile on your face. Your dad used to say your mother was too emotional. It’s what drove him away, so instead of confiding, you ignored it. You tried to flip the script, “Nothing, just noticed you’re really tired today.”

He made a grumbled sound as he moved away, neither one of you wanted to talk about anything yet. Though, if he’s being honest. He’s never talked to anyone about his childhood memories. Not his brother, his father, his friends, teachers, girlfriends, nothing. Instead he lets his father bribe him with money and takes advantage of the people around him because he thinks they don’t genuinely care about him enough to ask. And why would he confide in a girl who won’t even stay? Maybe, in the future if you don’t leave him, he’ll be honest.

You sensed his down mood as well. You’re not sure if it had anything to do with you or something else but you knew that your job was to make him feel better. That’s what you should do, don’t think about your feelings, think about his. You turned to sit on his lap, his legs over the edge of the bed making him sit and his hands immediately went to your waist. “Will a kiss make you feel better?” He smiled nodding his head as he leaned into you capture your lips with his pulling you flush against him by your hips and cradled you in his arms. You pressed your hips further down onto his groin as his tongue swiped along your mouth lapping at your own. Heads turned in opposite direction to further your depths into each others mouths. You rocked your hips a bit, a groan spilling from his lips to yours, gripping your hips tighter to help aid your movements. Your hands were on his torso now, pulling on his shirt wanting to get to the fun part much quicker.

A part of him wanted to talk to you, ask why you were upset and why you wouldn’t tell him. That’s how he knew you were different than the others. He found himself actually caring about what you had to say, but when you lifted his shirt off him, hands roaming his bare skin he couldn’t think. Maybe when the lust haze went away he’d think clearly on how to elevate the relationship from just sexual acts. He has to show you how intense he could get in loving you because it’s what you wanted. You wanted to make him stay and you’re so stupid for that. He wouldn’t leave even if you begged him to. He’s gonna be the one you attach yourself to, he swears it and right now you’re just so perfect. But part of him knows it’s all an act and he’s not sure if he’s ready to see the real you just yet.

He's already half hard, the head of his cock pulsing as he rapidly grows in his briefs that were beginning to tighten over his member. He couldn’t stop kissing you, not even when your hands trailed up from the ridges of his six-pack. It made him moan into your mouth at the feel of your hands on him, running over his nipple buds making him jump in surprise.

He makes a move to pull on your shirt but you tell him no. It makes him annoyed but when you shimmy back on his lap, pulling on the button of his jeans, any protest he had went out the door. His hands were still loosely on your waist despite the gap you put between you two that had him pulling back from the kiss to look.

Your fingers now lightly touch the line between muscle on his abs, trailing it toward his happy trail and just over the hem of his brief. Jungkook’s warm and a flush begins to creep around his neck and chest as your fingers continue their journey. You lean back into him, kissing at his neck and collarbone feeling him clench your shirt with his fists in anticipation. You add in teeth, softly scraping and nipping and biting, before shooting your tongue out to soothe the spots you’ve turned red all over his neck.

He licked his dry lips when you pulled back, ready to chase after yours but he couldn’t. Not when you got off his lap and onto the floor between his legs. You were quick, tugging at his jeans and underwear making him stand to kick them off before sitting back down on the edge of the bed. You don’t wait, your palm teases the head of his cock, and a trail of drool escapes hie mushroom tip leaking onto your palm.

"Fuck," Jungkook groans as you palm his cock, your fingers closing around his length in a grip that had his loose skin shifting with each pulse.The weight and width of him in your hand never fails to amaze you. He reacted so easily to your touch and he felt heavy in your hand. This is the first time you’re sucking his dick. You’ve only had sex that one time since you’ve only been together for a week and don’t have that much time to see each other. You had to make it worth his while if you want him to stay, or so you think.

You squeeze and pull his cock in alternating turns, taking in the way his stomach muscles tighten, how his thighs jump, the way he spreads his toes out against the floor. His head was tilted to the side, eyes glazed over with lust. A hand loosely in your hair while the other supported his sitting position against the bed.

Your eyes met his was a handful of cock being jerked with a twist of your wrist. The intense nature of his gaze nearly startled you. His pupils are blown, his brown eyes have gone dark, his mouth hangs open as harsh breath hisses through his teeth. Loving the look in his eyes, you took the chance to move your lips to the head of his cock.

You grip tightens to trace the weeping head across your lips practically coating them like it was lip gloss. Your tongue sneaks out to lick at the sticky residue before going back again, tracing his head with your full lips. You sink the head of his cock into your mouth between passes over your lip, sucking just enough to make his thighs tense.

"Oh fuck!" Jungkook's hand lands on your jaw when you flick your tongue just below the head. You circle your thumb and forefinger just below there and squeeze in time with each movement of your tongue which lapped up his cock drool.

You grip his thigh with your free hand your nails scratch and clutch at the tense muscles.

“So good to me,” he moans as he lets his head tip back in pleasure, eyes blinking away the sense of tears as he forced his gaze on the ceiling instead of on you. You’ll make him cum too fast if he keeps looking at your eyes. He slowly started fucking more of his cock into your wanting mouth, hearing the slush of spit and precum being pushed in and out of your tight throat. His mouth drew open in a silent moan when a hand of yours reached down, your index finger and thumb making a ring around his balls, and squeezing. All while you bobbed your head to meet the thrusts of his hips forcing more cock into your mouth. His breaths were raspy, feeling your tongue lick at his tight balls practically edging him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he collapse onto the bed, feet against the bed frame edge, hips lifted off the bed. Muscles on his body protruding as you sucked his cock and balls like nobody ever has. He was so close. So so so so so cl—

“I’m cu—“ his forearm covered his eyes, hips bucking beautifully into your mouth, cock twitching with every pulse of thick cum that just wouldn’t stop. After two spurts of the creamy liquid he was still on his high. Then another came, and another twitch, and another, another, another. You gagged, finally lifting off his cock with a line of drool and cum connecting your mouth to his dick. It twitched only your hands and you couldn’t help but laugh in pleasure to how you’ve left him. Sweat down his body, veins on his v-line twitching, cock convulsing.

His eyes were squeezed shut when your tongue began licking all the excess cum off his cock, swallowing every drop and he felt paralyzed. God, you’re so fucking perfect. If the two of you could just stay in the bubble where you only focused on each other; he’d be at peace. It took him a second to reel himself back in before he was licking his lips, “Get up here.” You nodded moving to the space between his legs ready to crawl but he stopped you on the edge. His hands found their way to your shorts as he began slipping them down your legs with your underwear too.

“Hey, this is about you,” you whined letting him slide them down your legs throwing them onto the floor as he kissed your hip quickly. Jungkook lied back down on his back motioning for you to keep crawling, “It’s still about me then, I want you riding my face.” You didn’t argue with that as you finally got close enough to let your thighs press against the sides of his head. You were too far from the headboard to use it for support and you didn’t want to force all your weight down on him. You had gotten too aroused sucking him off that you already felt sensitive but you didn’t want to seem too needy.

Jungkook’s hands wrapped around your thighs as he looked up at you, “Take your shirt off,” he muttered between kisses on the insides of your thigh. You didn’t waste another second, nodding your head as you began to do as told feeling Jungkook leave small suctioning sensation on your tender thighs, you’re core was wet and he could practically taste it but he won’t. Not until you’re ready. You began undoing your bra letting it slide off your arms and tossed it to the side. Jungkook’s eyes met yours for one quick moment before pulling down at your thighs making you sink onto him.

Before you could even think of saying anything, your mouth drew open with a moan. Jungkook had gripped your butt with both hands moving your cunt as he licked a fat strip up to your clit. Your hand flew down to his hair instantly for support and if only made him groan in pleasure, your taste on his tongue. His eyes fell shut, tongue licking up your slit as it flicked at your clit. Jungkook’s lips wrapped around your aroused clit and he kissed it. A soft kiss that was tender like he’d done to your lips so many times. A slurping sound was heard as he tugged on your labia pulling both sides out.

“Oh…” you moaned, the hand tightening his hair in your hole. The hands on your ass began guiding you to move, making growing on his face as he released your clit from his mouth traveling down again to let his tongue swallow more of your slick. His eyes rolled at the taste, hungry for more so he went faster. His tongue flicking back and forth in your hole as his nose tip hit your clit.

“Fuck, Jungkook baby, fuck,” you babbled, panting as a full body tremble girated you on top of him. Finally, you had gotten more comfortable letting him pleasure you from below and you found yourself adding rhythm to your hips feeling his head move with you. The vibration of his answering groans made you gasp, even closer to that sweet edge that blowing him had brought you just moments before. The delicate skin of your inner thighs was pressing against his ears his earmuffs and he loved every second of it. You looked down and meet his opening eyes, darkened with his own desire, and he took your clit back into his mouth forcing your hips to grind against his chin too. You watched him suck on your clit like it was a nipple, eyes on your chest as your exposed breasts bounced with each moment. Without another thought, you took your hand off his head bringing both up to your breasts.

He sucked harder at that, pulling and nipping at it with a soft touch of his teeth, tongue wrapping around it and pleasuring your labia with each flick. Your hands cupped your tits, squeezing them in tiny fists as you moaned silently, adding a bounce to your hips.

His hands kept you upright as the pleasure spread through you and your fingers pinched at your hardening buds as he sucked on your clit, chin rutting against your folds, your moans turning to a scream of his name. “Jungkook!”

He groaned into your cunt, a hand leaving to his hardening cock feeling it twitch against his happy trail. He took it in a fist, slowly pumping himself in rhythm with your hips, eyes focused on the pinch and pull of your pretty nipples. He wanted them in his mouth but he wanted your pussy even more.

The room was dark, only lighting up with a white hue as his phone began to ring. His older brother’s name displayed to do his annual check in on November 16th. He didn’t care though, he was too busy taking his girlfriend’s pretty pussy, drinking up everything like it was his last feast. You looked over to the ringing phone distracted but still riding his face and he didn’t like that. He wanted your attention on him as he brought you to orgasm. His cock was being jerked off roughly by his own hand and you had the nerve to look at his ringing phone.

He wants you to cum wetly and completely over his frantically working mouth so he can drink it all up, swallowing the taste of you down like you did him. You feel yourself begin to clench around him, and Jungkook pulls back to tilt his head up making you finally look at him when the phone stopped ringing. He was breathing heavy trying to catch his breath while a hand came around to rubbing at your clit, "Cum for me, baby, wanna feel you cum on my tongue"

At that, he attached his mouth to your cunt again, tongue pressing into your folds pushing out more and more slick. His thumb worked harder, circling around your clit every which way while your hands kneaded your breasts roughly and his cock twitched with the need to cum again.

“Jung—Jungk—“ Your orgasm hits you hard and so fucking good that your thighs shake as you tried lifting yourself up, but Jungkook keeps a hard grip on your around your thigh now, forcing you to take all of touches. His tongue worked feverishly to lick up your essence. His eyes were shut, pumping his cock faster, more messy as he drank up your cum. Your hand was in his hair again trying to pull him away but it only egged him on to finish having you unravel completely. With a final, rough yank of his hair, his cock was creaming. His hand getting drenched in his own cum in the process as he finally allowed you to move.

Your legs trembled as you attempted to swing one leg over him and he helped you. His abdomen sticky with his own cum and yours all over his chin but he didn’t care. He had no plans to leave this bed with you.

You were nervous, more than you needed to be because in reality there was no need to be worried. You’re just with your friends in the courtyard listening to them make plans for later. Lately anytime you see them you only find yourself feeling guilty—a little annoyed too but you’re pretty sure you shouldn’t feel that way. You shouldn’t be annoyed that Soomin was hanging out with you more regularly but you were. She ignored the two of you for months simply because Jungkook ghosted her. It’s not like she was nice about it either when you saw each other on campus and she’d purposely avoid you. It got to the point where Yeonwoo didn’t want to see her either and that’s the last time you had worried about it.

Now, all of a sudden she’s interested in being friends again. Since she’s had time to herself she’s ready to hang out with friends and to you that was total bullshit. Sure, you loved hanging out with her and being friends but you can’t just do what Soomin did and be welcomed back with open arms. It has nothing to do with her wanting time for herself after Jungkook but it had everything to do with the way she handled things. If she hadn’t gone out of her way to avoid seeing you two in person it’d be different. You understand wanting time to yourself but you don’t drop your friends out of nowhere and suddenly come back like nothing happened with no apology. It’s not like it was yours or Yeonwoo’s fault that Jungkook ghosted her. You have get to ask him despite being curious about it. You’re worried that if you bring it up Jungkook won’t be happy.

So that’s what made you feel annoyed. What made you feel guilty—for very obvious reasons—is that you were dating her ex boyfriend behind her back and being friendly to her face. That was very bitchy of you but you weren’t doing anything about it. You just let yourself play the friend and the girlfriend like it wasn’t taking a toll on you making you nervous.

“Are we still on for tonight?” Soomin asked looking between you and Yeonwoo. Your mind blanked. You know there was something planned between you all but you completely forgot it was tonight. You and Jungkook had gone shopping just yesterday and despite telling him not to buy you all this nice stuff he did it anyway. Then, he said he wanted you wearing a certain skirt for a date tonight. He was supposed to be picking you up straight from campus and that’s why you’d been dressed so nicely tonight.

“It’s been planned for over a month, I hope so,” Yeonwoo said with a small laugh. God, you really are stupid. You remembered what was the original plan now. A month ago, you all — minus Soomin — made plans to treat yourselves to an expensive dinner. Since you and all your friends had been focused on exams and work you all figured you needed a break. After days of trying to find the right time you quickly realized it had to be a planned outing instead of just whenever. Since you all had conflicting schedules you took a day off weeks in advance so you could all go. Soomin just started talking with you again a couple weeks ago but Taehyung asked if she was going and that’s how she’d been invited. It was supposed to be a nice outing that all the friends could just hang out and drink. It wasn’t a party or school environment, just a chance for everyone to get together and do something different than just hang around someone’s place and eat cheap food. Now it made so much sense why Yeonwoo hadn’t questioned your nice clothes today which you’d been so nervous would be noticed.

She had a tendency to sniff out your plans and even catch on quickly to the way your appearance changed like every friend happened to notice. It’s why you noticed her makeup today and her styled hair but you didn’t question it because you didn’t want her to question you. Now you understood that you were all dressed up for later and if you would have seen Namjoon and Taehyung, you would’ve noticed that their appearance was cleaner today. Wow, you really are stupid and that makes you want to laugh. Soomin nudged your foot, “I like your skirt, I’ve never seen you in Chanel, hell I didn’t even know you could afford it.”

Yeonwoo pushed Soomin lightly telling her something you couldn’t understand but Soomin just smiled, “You know what I mean, like, you don’t normally wear designer.”

You just shrugged, “Now I do.” You didn’t want to answer more questions because you wouldn’t be able to answer without having to think up a lie. You had gone out shopping yesterday to specifically find a winter coat. Jungkook obviously drove you around and what was supposed to be a quick trip turned into him taking you to any store you even looked at. You ended up in Chanel and when you told him you couldn’t afford it he shushed you and began showing you outfits. Such as the one you were currently wearing, the one he had asked you to wear tonight for dinner. Fuck. You had to either cancel on Jungkook or cancel on everyone else.

Though you would rather hang out with Jungkook you know it would be suspicious. Yeonwoo was already suspicious of you as it was and you commend her for not pushing you to respond despite still being openly rude about your choice in relationships. You knew that not going out tonight despite having it planned for weeks what make you look suspicious and with everyone asking if you’re seeing someone it just wouldn’t look right. On the other hand you didn’t want Jungkook mad at you. You could already hear him on the phone with you sulking about it. Yeonwoo sighed, “I’ve gotta get to class, I’ll meet with you guys later?”

“I’ll walk with you,” Soomin rushed out already getting up to follow her, “I’ve got class that way too. See ya Y/n.” You let them leave you behind as you gathered your things too leaving the library to your next two hour lecture. You brought your phone out already trying to figure out what to tell Jungkook. You knew he’d hate this but you kept thinking about your friends. You didn’t want them all to turn against you because you kept choosing to be with Jungkook. You’ve already ditched out in plans three times and you just couldn’t do it again, especially after they knew you were dressed up for a reason. You know he really won’t be happy but you can’t just think about him. You can go on a date another time, you’ll fit it into your busy schedule that he also complains about. Fuck there’s no easy way to go about this and it’s 100% your fault for being so damn forgetful and avoidant.

When Jungkook’s phone rang in the middle of his studies, he had absolutely no problem leaving his friends to go and answer it. He leaned against the wall of the building waiting g outside so he could answer, “Hey.” A warm smile was on his face already and he hadn’t even heard you speak yet. He kept thinking about the other night. Each night he spent with you there was something knew he liked or didn’t expect.

He can’t lie and says he’s changed because in reality he hasn’t. He still acts the way he wants to other but with you he feels like he could actually relax. Before it used to feel like a chore having to date and the only reason he’d do it is for convenience. Too many girls wanted something more serious than sex and he figured with a couple dinners here and there he could say they’re dating without actually having feelings. He was a very distant boyfriend and yet every single girl he dated loved him—even when he didn’t even act like he felt the same. It’s because they liked the thought of being with Jeon Jungkook, the son of a CEO, the popular and rich guy. He wouldn’t have to try hard, all he had to do was smile sweetly at someone and ask if they wanted to go out. It made it easier to never be alone when someone like him felt so lonely.

Everything about those relationships had always been so shallow to him. He’d make the calls and demands. Everything was always on his time, when he wanted and he didn’t care how the other felt because they never left him. They let him make all the decisions following him around just happy to be there. He’d fell them what they wanted to hear even if it wasn’t the truth and when they’d try and get closer he’d be mean. It’s what happened with Soomin way too many.

And he’s not like that with you. You haven’t shared deep conversation yet but he feels a lot more open to letting you in. There’s just something about you that drives him to feel these intense emotions and all he wants to do is stay with you so he could feel them more. He could hear you take a breath as you spoke, “Hey, is this a good time? Or are you busy?”

“I’ve got time, why? Did you miss me?” He asked even though he should be doing his work. He’s already put off a lot of his assignments to have time for you when you weren’t busy and even without a job in the way he felt way too occupied with you alone. You smiled a little, “I did, but uh, I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

He nodded as though you could see him, “What’s up?” He’s been thinking about you all day. He hasn’t seen you since he went back to his place yesterday and he keeps picturing you in the light pink skirt he bought you yesterday. He has planned the perfect dinner tonight in hopes of officiating your relationship more than just sex in your apartment, and movies in the living room. That didn’t feel like a real relationship despite how strong he felt about you so he wants to show you the kind of boyfriend he could be. He knows he’ll be good to you. You cleared your throat, “So about tonight…Ican’tmakeittonight.”

“I’m sorry, mind repeating that? I don’t think I heard right. You can’t what?” His breath was already turning uneven. After everything he did so that tonight would be perfect and you’re telling him what exactly? You bit your lip nervously, your pace to your next class had slowed while you talked, “So, um, it’s all my fault, okay? I forgot that tonight was supposed to be a big dinner with everyone and I had even taken the day off work for it. I think that’s why I was free tonight for our date and I just forgot it’s cause I scheduled it off. I would miss the dinner but everyone’s already suspicious that I’m seeing someone an—“

“You are seeing someone,” Jungkook tried hard to even his voice out so he could remain calm but his heart was beating too fast in irritation, “Do you expect me to keep wanting to keep it hidden? We’re not doing anything wrong, what happened with Soomin was months ago and if they tell you anything about it then they can talk to me because it’s not your fault. And it’s not up to anyone else what we do.”

You took a deep breath, “You’re righ—“ “Then why can’t you just go on this date with me? Who cares if they find out we’re dating. Who cares if you ditch them and they get ma—“

“I care Jungkook, not everything is about you, I’m sorry, but I’m not ditching on them tonight. We’ve been hanging out every chance I’m free and I’ve flaked on plans with Yeonwoo three times because of it.” You answered honestly. Jungkook scoffed, he doesn’t care if they’re your friends. Soomin always had something to say about you when they dated plus she ditched you. Yeonwoo always has to act like you’re stupid and don’t know how to do anything right and that pisses him off. He doesn’t know much about Yoongi but he doesn’t care. He’s as much friends with the other two as he is with you and that’s enough for Jungkook to dislike him. It only adds onto the more people he has to fight for your attention. He couldn’t help but ask, “Who’s going?”

He had a good feeling about who would be with you tonight and he didn’t like it at all. The second he heard Yeonwoo’s boyfriend was going then he knew Taehyung would too. And though he hasn’t met Taehyung, he still remembers Yeonwoo going on about him to you and he didn’t like that you were friends with him. He wanted to tell you you wouldn’t be going out with them tonight but he couldn’t. He didn’t like the way you talked to him but he couldn’t argue with you right now so instead he reluctantly let you go with the promise of making plans another night. He hated it and the more he spent his evening thinking about it, the more he wanted to show you how much he hated that you ditched him for other people. You couldn’t just do that to him and change his plans.

You know when you just can’t feel at ease? Like since the moment you woke up you know something is already off with the day? Yeah, that’s how you felt this morning and at first you brushed it off as nerves for your date tonight. Then, you thought it was because your dumbass forgot about dinner and had to tell Jungkook. But now that you’re at dinner with the others, the feeling doesn’t go away and you don’t know why.

“Where have you been lately? I feel like any time I try and hang out with you, you’re busy, you bitch,” Yoongi said faking an annoyed pout as he rolled his eyes, “You tired of me?” You rolled your eyes as well nudging him playfully to stop talking like that. Yoongi was one of the few people you felt like you didn’t have to play a part with. He was the in between for you where you could talk to him about anything without worry that he’d judge you or tell the others. With Yeonwoo it felt like you had to agree with what ever she said and you knew that what you said others would find out. You do feel bad that you haven’t hung out with them since you’ve been with Jungkook mostly.

“I think she’s seeing someone,” Soomin said with a smirk as she sat sandwiched between Yeonwoo and Taehyung who looked at you too, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not in a relationship and plus, you’re always busy apparently. Isn’t that suspicious? Oh! And you’re wearing new clothes and it’s brand name.”

“Thanks for your input,” you cleared your throat awkwardly, “But I’ve really just been busy with work and school, you know the usual.” The conversation carried from topic to topic and honestly it felt good to do this with your friends. Though you all might disagree or not see each often it’s easy to feel comfortable around each other. You loved being with Jungkook but it was different than this.

The night you saw him at the club you had already been in a mood. Seeing him hadn’t made you feel better and even though you kissed, it had been just that. You let him tell you all the words you’ve wanted to hear and even though you shouldn’t you go out with him. You have very strong feelings toward him but you still felt like it was an act. Either you were playing into the vision of you he had created or vise versa. You were using him to play the ideal type you always dreamed of because you knew he’d act the part. So you were selfish, you’d let this guy [who broke your friend’s heart] get with you and possibly use you, or even worse, be the right one for you.

Everyone was feeling the high of conversation, the mood was good and relaxed. You said something every now and then but mostly you listened with everyone talking at once. You’re the only one to clearly hear Soomin when she excused herself to the restroom and tried listening to everyone talking. So, because you were observing, you began to notice a change in the mood. Voices seemed to have lowered, eyes glanced behind you and heads turning. And if you were only a moment sooner you would’ve had more time to disappear.

You turned your head wanting to see what had everyone so distracted now but all you caught sigh of was a black button up shirt tucked into a Gucci belt. Your heart seemed to drop, looking up as a hand landed on your shoulder gently

There was a sudden tension in the air as your eyes met a familiar dark pair with silver on the brow. Everyone stares either in confusion or anger, maybe a mix of both but you couldn’t even think of what to say. You felt like the air was suffocating you and the look on his face only seemed to annoy you.

He was smirking, like this was all just so amusing. Like he expected this response as he motioned for Yoongi to move over and the guy, clearly just as confused, moved without a word. He took the seat next to you planting a kiss on your forehead when you yanked his hand off, “What are you doing?”

“Yeah, what are you doing?” You turned quickly like everyone else did but Jungkook as your eyes locked with Soomin’s. She looked confused at first by her ex just sitting at her table when he wasn’t minutes ago. Then she looked annoyed when she saw the placement of his hand on your shoulder close to your neck softly. Nobody said anything as she came by and you wanted to react but it’s like you froze when everyone’s eyes fell on you. Jungkook didn’t even flinch, “I’m here to see who my girlfriend ditched me for tonight.”

“Your what?” Yeonwoo asked glaring at you and rightfully so. She knew, from the moment she you two at the bar, one of you was going to fuck up. She wasn’t disappointed because you fell for another guy. She knew that’s what you’d do. That’s what you always did but with Jungkook? After knowing how he treated and dumped Soomin. Jungkook reached across your plate for a bite of what ever you were eating, “My girlfriend.” He looked around at everyone focusing on one person in particular.

“This the guy you wanted to introduce to Y/n?” Jungkook asked her as he looked Taehyung over. Your hands were shaking and though you wanted to speak, Soomin beat you to it, “What the fuck is going on here? After literally disappearing on me and treating me like absolute shit you’re saying… you’re saying Y/n is your girlfriend?”

“Well someone had to say it,” Jungkook said ignoring everything but the last thing she said. You turned to Soomin, “Liste—I don’t—“ “You don’t what? You don’t think? You don’t care? What is it Y/n because right now I’m thinking you just don’t realize how fucking stupid you are for getting yourself involved with him.”

“Soomin, just take a minute and relax. People are staring,” Yoongi offered up trying to ease the tension but it was no use. Jungkook didn’t care how any of them felt. Namjoon cleared his throat, “We need the damn check.” It was awkward but nobody could say anything about it. “No, what we need is an explanation from Y/n.”

“You didn’t stop talking to him since the night of the club, right? When you were supposed to be getting over your last ex,” Yeonwoo pointed out. Jungkook groaned, “What does it matter? Why does it matter? Why are you always trying to tell Y/n what to do. All you do is bash on her an—“

“Oh this is rich,” Soomin scoffed in disbelief, “You’re one to fucking talk Jungkook. You know, the funny thing is that this is actually really expected from the two of you. We’ve got the slut and the player, match made in heaven.”

“Soomin, I was going to tell you I just—“ “You’re a slut Y/n, we all know it so just stop. I don’t want to hear your excuses, you wanted my ex and you took him but that’s fine.” You weren’t even surprised by her name calling but you also couldn’t find anything to say. Maybe you were even though you didn’t cheat on anyone and he didn’t either. It’s not like you two had just fucked other people before each other. And yes, you get into relationships easily but it’s not like you sleep around with anyone you weren’t dating.

“Look you can say whatever you want about me, I don’t give a fuck but don’t start calling Y/n names that aren’t true,” Jungkook said to her, “You weren’t even fucking speaking to any of them when I approached her—“

“I wasn’t speaking to anyone because of you, you fucking asshole,” Soomin said but he just laughed, “What did your friends have to do with me? I told you I wasn’t in it anymore and you ignored me so I left you. It wasn’t because of anyone else but me so why’d you do that? And I’m the one who wanted Y/n not the other way around so don’t act like she was out to get you.”

“And your so-called best friend Yeonwoo knew there was something between us since the first night and she never told you either,” Jungkook added in the final blow letting some attention drift away from you. Yeonwoo looked at Soomin, “I tried telling he—“ “But you didn’t tell me.”

Suddenly, a chair was pushed back. Jungkook looked over quickly to catch you taking your purse and standing. It’s not that you didn’t want to talk to her but not at this moment and not in front of everyone. Even strangers from other tables were staring and you understood she was upset with you but right now you just wanted to disappear. “Bab—uh oh, she’s mad,” Jungkook mumbled as he took his wallet out. He took out some money and put it down on the table, “This should cover what ever Y/n ordered.” Without another word he left, chasing after you with his tail between his legs acting completely different than the Jungkook she knew.

“What just happened?” Taehyung asked now that you were gone and so was Jungkook. Yeonwoo sighed, “Y/n is apparently seeing Jungkook.” Soomin scoffed, “My ex who ditched me out of the blue and treated me like complete shit. Now Y/n ran away because she’s scared to talk to me.”

“Maybe Y/n just didn’t want to do it in front of everyone, she seemed just as confused with Jungkook being here as everyone else,” Yoongi said making her turn to glare at him, “I’m not taking sides, I’m just saying, you yelled out that she was a slut for everyone to hear. I wouldn’t want to talk things out with you either when you’re this mad.”

“So you’re saying I’m the problem right now?” Soomin asked making Yeonwoo shake her head. “Nobody is saying that Soomin, but… I mean… you wouldn’t even let Y/n try and explain. I know it hurt your feelings especially because of how things ended with Jungkook but, I don’t know, you did stop talking to us for months and that’s when he came along.”

Jungkook was a few yards behind you. You were walking too fast and he didn’t want to chase you in front of everyone. Once outside instead of walking toward the parking garage where he parked you walked straight toward the street, a hand stretched out looking down the road, “What are you doing?”

“Going home,” you said not turning back to look at him. Jungkook scoffed, “Alright so let’s go to mine—“ “No, I’m going to my place, alone.” His eyes narrowed, you’re what? Tonight was supposed to be the first night you came over to his place after what was supposed to be a date. He stepped closer to you, a hand on your lower back, “Come on, don’t be like that.” “No Jungkook, I told you I’d be done with you, if you did this so stop. I’m done.”

His breath stopped as his pace slowed, were you really doing this to him in front of the restaurant you just ate at? “No you’re not,” Jungkook shook his head in disbelief, “They were gonna find out anyway, Y/n. We didn’t do anything wrong so can you please just look at me? We were supposed to go on a date tonight. We were supposed to be the ones together and you just ditched me for them. How is that fair to me? I came because I wanted to spend time with you—“

“No, you came so you could make a scene in front of everyone because you can’t stand the thought of being told no,” you said harshly, the Y/n he met at the club who didn’t want anything to do with him was back and Jungkook didn’t like that. He wanted the Y/n who was sweet and caring to him. You kept going when he was silent, watching his eyes begin to redden, “I am with you every single time I’m free and it’s still not enough? What do you want me to do Jungkook? I have school. I have work. I have friends, or I did.”

“They’re not your friends if all they do is look down on you!” Jungkook shouted now, not caring about the people passing, “And you don’t make time for me. Every time I want to be with you, you have something else to do—“ “Yes, because I’m not free all day! Unlike you, some of us actually need jobs to make money. I don’t get everything handed to me so sorry if I can’t be with you every second of the day.”

“And if you can’t respect my wishes then I’m done. I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to be with you or talk to you. I asked you for one night, I know we had plans but I’d spent every day with you this week and you couldn’t give me just one day with others? Do you realize how fucking selfish you are?” You asked. Jungkook didn’t deny anything, “That’s cause I love you, and I want to spend all my time with you. I’m sorry th—“

“No Jungkook, you don’t love me so just don’t even say that,” you finally said looking back to him clearly upset, “I don’t even think you know how to love someone, I’ve just been going along with it until you decide to drop me like a fucking idiot thinking you might just change.”

You don’t think he knows how to love someone? After trying so hard to show you he does and yet you tell him it’s not it. This isn’t fair. You can’t do this to him just because he wanted to have dinner with you. You think that just because he comes from money, he’s just selfish? Fine, he might be but it’s not fair for you to say he doesn’t know how to love someone when it’s the first time he’s ever felt it. How is he supposed to know an emotion he never received genuinely? Not from his neglectful father or his mother’s abandonment. All he’s ever known is his older brother and even that wasn’t anything like what he felt for you. None of the girls he’d been with were genuine. They didn’t like him for him. And it’s not like he didn’t see that, so obviously he never acted like he loved them. With you he’s trying, and he’ll admit he’s doing it all wrong but you can’t just leave him after one mistake when he’s tried being good to you. Were you always this cruel because he didn’t expect it. Were you putting on an act too? His sad eyes stared into your own as he tried holding you. You let him but you wouldn’t let him pull you into him. His arms remained around your waist with space between you that felt miles long, “Please… just give me a chance. I promise I’ll change.”

“You won’t,” you said simply, “And honestly this is for the best. I don’t know what it is you want with me, but you and I just aren’t relationship types, okay? You know it and so do I. There’s a reason why we were quick to get together, and now look, it’s ending already and do you want to know why? Because you don’t care for relationships and I don’t know how to keep one. Don’t try and tell me that’s not why you wanted me because it is. You knew that I wouldn’t last with anyone and you’re not the type to want a relationship to last. You want it to be quick and easy so you can get what you want and be done. I gave it to you, so I’m fine ending things here.”

“I don’t believe that bullshit because I know that what I feel for you is different than what I’ve ever felt for anyone else,” Jungkook said in a hurry now as a cab finally pulled up to the curb for you, tears threatening to spill and he couldn’t explain why. This is not how he wanted the night to go. He knew you’d be a little mad but not this mad, “I am selfish, you’re right, and clearly I need to work on that but you can’t just leave me before I prove it to you. Please Y/n, please just don’t leave me okay? I don’t want to be left behind.” He tried stopping you from opening the door but you did it anyway. “You can’t just quit on me the first time it gets hard. You can’t run away from your feeling—“

“I can, I’ve done it before and if it stops me from getting hurt by men like you I’ll do it again,” you admitted to him, “My problem isn’t that everyone found out. My problem is that I told you to let me tell everyone when I was ready and what did you do? You showed up, caused a scene, and ignored what I want. I’m not going to lose everyone else around me because you don’t think I’ve given you enough. I’ve been left too many times to have to go through it again because of you.”

“I won’t, I swear I won’t, pleas—“ the door slammed shut in his face. You were quitting. You know you are but you just can’t believe a word he says even as tears stream down his face. You don’t doubt he has strong feelings for you and you don’t want to leave him but he isn’t giving you enough. He isn’t showing you that he really loves you. Tonight he proved that he doesn’t care what you have to say. He’ll do it anyway and that’s not what you envisioned as a perfect partner. You’re not even sure what he could do to show you he actually loves you but this wasn’t it. And maybe you wanted the extreme but he just wasn’t giving it yet, all he was doing was finding ways to keep you to himself.

“Jungkook.”

He turned, Soomin standing there just feet away from the door with her things. He’s not sure how long she was standing there or what she wanted but he didn’t care. He wouldn’t give her an apology for what he did because he doesn’t regret it. He looked back to the cab that had already left and the first thing he did was check his phone and see if he should text you. He walked right past Soomin to the parking garage. He doesn’t care, he’s driving straight to your place. “Jungkook wait.”

“What do you want Soomin?” he grumbled hearing her follow after him. He wiped away his stupid tears keeping his head down. Soomin was right behind him, “I just want to talk, give me five minutes.”

“We talked enough, don’t you think?” Jungkook said turning his head to her for a quick moment, “Where’s everyone else?”

“I ran out, look I just want to talk about us—“ “For fuck’s sake Soomin, if you want me to apologize I won’t,” Jungkook said clearly upset and she was just pushing his buttons, “I don’t care if you cried. I don’t care if you were confused. I don’t give a fuck how you felt and if you want an explanation, there isn’t one.”

“I can tell you right now that I’d do it again and leave you without a single word because I just couldn’t fucking stand you,” Jungkook said harshly. He was letting some of his anger out on her but it was better than going to you and screaming at you. Plus, Soomin called you a slut and a handful of other things because of him so why can’t she just tell him instead of going to you. She was crying now, “Why? Why were you with me then?”

He sighed deeply, pinching the space between his brows in annoyance. He laughed, a soft yet bitter laugh as he looked back to her, “At first, because you were easy and very gullible. Then, because of Y/n. I liked her and I didn’t even realize it, isn’t that fucked up? That I used you to stay around Y/n even though there was something about you that I just couldn’t stand? I put myself through torture more than what I did to you. You should’ve been happy I disappeared on you. It’s not like I acted like I cared about you.”

“So whose fault is it for being so damn stupid and blind to our relationship? It definitely wasn’t me,” Jungkook said as he began walking back to the parking garage now that he was done talking to her.

“The same way you’re blind to your relationship with Y/n?” Soomin shouted from a distance making him stop again. His jaw clenched as he turned back to her watching her come over to him toward the crosswalk. She smiled now, “Because if you think she actually cares about you, you’re dead wrong. Y/n is more fucked up than you are, y’know? She cries and cries about everyone hurting her feelings but what’s the first thing she does? She leaves you the second things get hard and she doesn’t give a single shit about how you feel. That’s why you’re crying, right? Because she left? Yeah, what did you expect? You wanted Y/n to be happy when you randomly show up? Y/n likes her secrets and you were one of them until you ruined it. Now she’s got no reason to be with you so look what happened, she left, told you off and made you cry.”

“Why do you care what Y/n does to me?” Jungkook asked. Soomin sighed, “Because I’ve never seen you cry. I’ve never seen you beg someone to stay with you like you just did with Y/n. I saw it, and I also saw her not give a single care about it and leave like you meant nothing at all.”

He’s only ever begged one other time for someone to stay and that was his mother when he was seven. What happened in the end? She left, just like you just did. Clearly there was something wrong with him if the people he tried to love kept leaving. He didn’t think you’d leave him like that and not give him a chance to fix things. But he wasn’t mad about that, he was hurt. He was mad that Soomin would bring it up like she knew the real him when she didn’t. He was mad that she would try and tell him these things about you like his mind would change. Soomin sighed, “You think Y/n loves you because she acted like she did? She didn’t. She doesn’t love any single guy she’s with. She loves the idea of having the perfect person because her life is so fucking shitty, her only way out is to be in a relationship no matter how awful the person is. So I’m not surprised she chose you, and look what happened. Once she saw how you behaved tonight, she was done and I promise you she’ll find someone new to replace you by the following week. Sounds like karma to me.”

“Goodbye Soomin,” he said as the light turned for him to walk, “And you should be happy I said goodbye this time.” He doesn’t understand why he doesn’t care about what she said. He doesn’t care if it’s true. He doesn’t care if it’s not. Clearly whatever happened between you started with lies. It seemed like you two got together naturally. That it just happened and that he was too enamored to care that he was changing. That you would just easily agree with him so you could seem perfect. It was all fucking lies and yet he doesn’t care. What you told him just now was nothing of what Soomin was saying. You didn’t lead him on, you didn’t act in love, you didn’t even fucking care that he was the opposite of perfect. So even if you two were lying about how you portrayed a relationship, real feelings were there buried down below and he showed it more than you did.

You’re not naive or innocent. You’re calculating even if you don’t show it and you wouldn’t have gone out with him if you didn’t feel something for him. The only thing you lied about was him having the control. You made him feel like he had the say when clearly he didn’t. He doesn’t, because right now he thinks you dumped him and he wasn’t expecting that. He was expecting you to be mad but let it go and clearly that’s not what happened. Everything you said might be true, but he knows that you feel something for him deep down even if you lied and said you didn’t.

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taglist: @jub-jub @moonfaery @hoseoksluv89 @jeonzll @kookieaddicted96 @darkuni63 @btspurplesky

sorry y’all I had to repost cause I forgot tags lol

wow Jungkook ain’t shit highkey 🤡 but also idc bc he’s Jungkook 🤒 also yall best not think this is the end cause you can’t have a toxic couple without making sure they break up a couple times lmao. this was more jk focused and how he’s an ass but who what the next chapterrrr will focus us

but I’m letting y’all know rn that if it gets tagged as mature again I might not continue it cuz it blocks my fics for some readers even they’re not minors cause of how the settings are

[slickchickchocolatier]

ↀOUBLE IIROUBLE - CHAPTER TEN

Its here!!!! Sorry it's not proofread, i finished this while i was eating dinner. lol.

Warnings: Mentions of murder and kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, confrontation, slight bits of voyeurism (not full throttle like MRE, but still...) smut...lots of unprotected smut, mentions of lying and deceit, forced love, punishments (mentions of) yandere love, unhealthy and toxic relationship, abuse of authority in the relationship, dom! hee-leads, sub! y/n....cursing, and i think that's it. enjoy!

“Fuck it good for me baby…you’re doing so well.” Breathlessly, Heejeong groans each word as he stabilizes the cadence of your movements. By the foothold of his established grip, he simultaneously bounces and rocks your hips, rolling them forward and back, ensuring your silken walls massages every inch of his length. Dipping and lifting, you’re pleasantly left at the mercy of his stamina, taking in each pump he gives, watching as you take one right after the other. “Go faster…” he demands, yet you could never figure out why he, or his brother at that, berates and tells you, for each time they bounced and filled you up,  they never left you with much choice or freedom to stir the motions and set the pace.

Perhaps it was just the pressure of intense ecstasy that would trigger them to speak out at random, either way, their words were always followed by a level of action through their hold on you, moving your body in the direction of how they wanted it, practically fucking you around like a ragdoll. After all the time you’ve spent with them, letting them fuck you every which way but loose, you learned and valued the aspect of a healthy relationship with great sexual desire and result, despite falling into a weakened emotional and mental state of mind, losing all will to fight and escape. Instead, you found yourself fully enveloped by the effects of Stockholm Syndrome. It’s been half a year since they’ve essentially restrained you by taking away your freedom. Through all the punishments, the constant supervision, and heavy effects of their obsession and showering affection, you caved in. You had become theirs and accepted the fate of being a prisoner in their house, your own home. The only difference between now and the start of it all, was that you not only accepted their love, but returned it. Perhaps it was just the pressure of intense ecstasy that would trigger them to speak out at random, either way, their words were always followed by a level of action through their hold on you, moving your body in the direction of how they wanted it, practically fucking you around like a ragdoll. After all the time you’ve spent with them, letting them fuck you every which way but loose, you learned and valued the aspect of a healthy relationship with great sexual desire and result, despite falling into a weakened emotional and mental state of mind, losing all will to fight and escape. Instead, you found yourself fully enveloped by the effects of Stockholm Syndrome. It’s been half a year since they’ve essentially restrained you by taking away your freedom. Through all the punishments, the constant supervision, and heavy effects of their obsession and showering affection, you caved in. You had become theirs and accepted the fate of being a prisoner in their house, your own home. The only difference between now and the start of it all, was that you not only accepted their love, but returned it. 

Could anyone blame you? Perhaps. It’s not everyday you find a woman or man in a relationship that encompasses the major highlights of love and passion. Everyday, they glazed you with their intense love and sweetness; since you had become obedient and accepting of their rules, ceasing in putting up a fight or attempting your escape, the two boys were able to focus in showing you nothing but their obsessive love, and it truly was an amazing feature to experience. By day, you were cherished and pampered, practically smothered by it; yet at night, they tainted your body, bellowing out their lengths into you like a whore, fucking you until the moon was laid to rest. The most blissful switch that you ever dreamed of. 

“Oh fuck!...I’m cumming…” embracing you, he tightens his arms around your waist, coiling one over the other as he pulls you in and buries his face into the gaping crevice between your breasts, immediately kissing the spot. His tongue leaks out and paves the way to your nipple, slobbering over the areola while he tenderly sucks it in, feeding off of you while keeping your legs strapped around his waist and straddling his lap. 

When all was said and done, Heeseung steers the car and pulls up into the driveway. “We’re home. Did you both have fun during the ride?” he teases out as he flashes a wink through the rearview mirror, in which Heejeong catches and returns it with a chuckle as he regains his breathing. “Oh yeah we did, didn’t we?” he looks up into your eyes, reaching forward to move the bits of hair that stuck to the sweat glistening over your skin. 

Once inside, the boys carried out the normal routine of cleansing your body in the shower, by caressing it. Nothing out of the ordinary, it was now normal to find yourself getting dicked down between the two, either five or six times a day, sometimes more. Finishing it all off in the shower went without saying. You lost count of how many times you asked them politely for a break, desperately needing time for the soreness and increased sensitivity to wear off before succumbing to their passionate wrath. Contrary to how insatiable they were with you, they always respected your wishes, announcing how they hated to see you in pain, unless it was them who granted it, and they always did. After each break period, the longest one being seven days, the boys would always reach a breaking point and lose control. Each time they reignited that physical passion, the balance of lovemaking was nonexistent. It really wasn’t their fault, after all, you were everything to them and they couldn’t bear to go one day without touching you, let alone multiple. So it was no surprise that the moment you begin to feel better, they made up for lost time and fucked you relentlessly on the first day, and that’s where the pain was birthed. 

…………………

“Fuck baby….”

“N-no more! It hurts! Please…please go slower….”

“I know baby…believe me I’m trying…I just miss being with you like this, you have no idea….to watch you everyday looking so pretty but not being able to touch you…shit baby the effect you have on me….just take the pain for now. I promise to kiss it all better once I get this out of my system. Pinky promise…ah…God baby, fuck that dick. Fuck it until it smothers you with my kids.” 

………………….

And of course, you can’t have one without the other taking his turn, pumping your already cum-stained walls with his own length. 

………………….

“Please! Oh my God…please….ugh! I-I can’t take it anymore!”

“Shhh…baby, you keep talking like that, it’s only going to make me stay hard. Come here and kiss me…kiss me and take it like the champ I know you are….you fucking beautiful thing. Oh shit baby…I have to fuck you faster and harder, come here…” 

………………….

Of course they secretly found it sexy to instill you with sexual pain through acts of pleasure, they’ll never admit it aloud but it was obvious to tell through their dashing smirks and lip-bites during the act. However, they knew that the pain wasn’t at all pleasant, so they would make up for it through their tender acts, always treating you like the queen you truly were to them. No one would ever be able to witness it, since they loved the privacy and the idea of having you all to themselves, but should anyone be lucky enough to see, the twins had a custom built lounge chair built for you, resembling a royal throne. Made of Mahogany cherry wood, and beige damask, silk-threaded upholstery, it was made in the design of regal Victorian fashion, and was nicely stationed in your room. Why would they ever get the idea to get you such a piece was beyond you…until later that night when they had you sit on it. 

……………….

“Sit up straight baby…slouching is bad for you.” 

“Ugh! I….I can’t….mmm…”

“You like that, don’t you?”

“M….mmhmm….ugh!”

“Cum baby…we wanna see you drip.”

………………

It’s such a beautiful chair, and you feel bad for ruining it by chipping bits out of the wooden arm rests each time you dug your fingernails in, but again, could anyone blame you? Of course not, not if they had seen the most sickening yet sweet acts they performed white you were on that chair.  Some nights, you helplessly watched as both faces shove their way in between your thighs, holding your legs spread and open as they orally attacked your maidenhood through licks and kisses. Then there were other times you found yourself leaned over, kneecap firmly planted on the seated cushion while you gripped the armrests, getting pounded from behind in a near violent momentum. And of course…how could you ever forget the nights when one of them would sit in your throne, sliding your legs through the loopholes under each arm, forcing you to straddle their laps as they controlled the pace and movement, while the other penetrated you simultaneously. 

………………

“Wait! I-I can’t take both at the same time.”

“Wanna bet, sweetheart?” 

“Heeseung don’t be so brash. Come here baby, you should know by now, our sexual engagement lacks filters and boundaries, that’s what makes it beautiful…like you. Now be good, and let us both do what we live for….let us both fuck you to sleep tonight.” 

………………. 

Of course the first time wasn’t at all the most pleasurable experience, you could never forget that type of pain, it was unlike any other you’ve felt before. But you had to hand it to the boys, after breaking you in, dragging you to the lowest point sexually, they’d praise and tenderize you with so much love and devotion. Each time they both took you all at once, the pain would gradually fade and was replaced with ferocious orgasms, bursting one after another. Ever since, you’ve never felt intimidated by the idea of being open minded, and gave yourself fully so they could sexually devour you any which way they could. Maybe one of these days you’ll ask them to take you to the library, because in all honesty, you’re curious to see just how many positions of the Kama Sutra you three had covered. 

………………………..

“This is Lisa from Channel Hybe News, here to bring you the latest on the mystery behind the killings of the young women local to the area, that has riddled the entire city in constant fear for the last two years. Authorities have revealed through their public statements, that some of the victims were as young as sixteen years old, causing an emotional uproar in the nation. Police have searched each crime scene thoroughly, yet still haven’t found any evidence or leads directing them to a prime suspect. So far, the country mourns over the loss of twelve victims, whose bodies were all found in a gruesome state. Meanwhile, the latest disappearance of the 24-year old local college student has attracted the attention of detectives and authorities, igniting a mass wide search. We can only hope that she will be found unharmed and alive.” 

Walking down the stairs, you rub your eyes and hazily make your way into the kitchen. You didn’t bother getting dressed, deciding to save that for after you have your morning coffee and shower, besides, the boys loved seeing you in one of their tee-shirts. Since the fit was larger and longer, each one fitted you like a gown, a short one at that. Looking over to the smart TV in the kitchen wall, you sighed while grabbing the remote, shutting it off. It was all too depressing. For the last two years, way before you had inherited your step-brothers, a series of young women had disappeared and were later found dead; their bodies horrendously mutilated and displayed harsh evidence of unspeakable torture. The age ranges were anywhere from teenagers to women in their mid to late twenties. You recalled the times before the wedding, how your mother worried for your safety when you traveled lonesomely by public transportation to and from work or school. Naturally, once she married Danny and found out that you were “moving” in with your two brothers, she felt relieved. Of course, if she had known the truth of you living in their massive house, her fears would have been replaced with a new set. Had she ever found out  how you were hijacked from your own apartment with Wendy, and forced to move in with the two people that you were quite sure had something to do with Jeff’s murder. You weren’t oblivious, the man insulted and harassed you, and that didn’t sit well with the two. Hell, you had to beg them through tears and constant pleas to stop Heeseung from making his way over to Kurt that day, six months ago, all because the two couldn’t stand that the man had feelings for you. From the way they would speak and all the things they’ve ever said, you felt deep down that despite their affection and possessiveness over you, they were quite dangerous, but what could you do? After foiling your attempts to escape and find help, they punished you countless times, “trained” you to become more obedient and loyal, and it worked out in their favor. The human mind can only take so much, so you gave up and always remained careful, ensuring to avoid everyone so as to protect them from the raging obsessive love that Heejeong and Heeseung had for you. 

…………………

“You belong to us….we know that you love us too. If you break any of the rules, you already know–...our punishments will help you understand and realize your love for us. And if anyone touches or talks to you….even if they so much as look at you the wrong way, we’ll do alot worse than what we did to that asshole. Because no one….no one will disrespect you or harm you….not under our watch.” 

………………….

You never brought yourself to ask or clarify on who the “asshole” was, though you assumed it was Jeff. Nonetheless, you felt it better to not know the facts, because once you confirmed that you were loved by a pair of murderous boys who were infatuated with you, and loved them back, you weren’t quite sure if you could live with yourself knowing that. Sure, it was screwed up…but so was this entire situation. All you could do was to make the most of it and continue living, because no matter what, they were always going to find and keep you. Might as well make it easier on yourself and wave the white flag. But what scared you the most out of all of this, was that knowing full well that they were responsible for what happened to Jeff, you sometimes wondered….did they have any part in the murders of these women?...They were capable of murder…you’ve caught them breaching it but successfully stopped them, all through luck. But, how were they before you met them? What did they do before your mother married Danny? Seeing how much they detested their own girlfriends, you wondered if Sa-Ra and Yeon-jin were both potential victims ... .but again…you can’t think about that or confirm, because once you knew, you wouldn’t be able to live.

Your eyes began to glisten and sting; you were on the brink of tears just by questioning it, when suddenly a pair of strong arms wrap’s your waist from behind. A pair of lips cements itself on your cheek, planting a dramatic kiss. 

“Mmmmmmmmmuah! Sleep well baby? I know we got home kind of late from dinner last night.”

“Oh no….it’s fine, I slept in a little bit this morning.” 

“That’s good.” Patting your rear, Heejeong remains pressed against your backside, reaching over to grab the sugar spoon and preparing his own cup of instant coffee. You aid him by pouring the hot water, and stirring it, all the while presenting him with a sweet smile. God that smile…he could stare at it for hours. 

“You making my coffee minx? Are you the sweetest…I love you.” 

“I love you too….”

‘Don't do it y/n…..’

“Heejeong?”

“Yeeeeesss.” winking, he nuzzles his face into your ear. 

“Could I….ask you a question?”

“Of course baby.”

‘Y/n….don’t do this to yourself….stop…stop it right now.’

“About Sa-Ra and Yeon-jin…..especially since during the ride home last night…”

“Did they do or say something to you? I swear if they did anything to you, I’ll rip their faces off and shred them.”

“No…no they didn’t do anything.” 

Heejeong relaxes his expression, feeling relieved that the two girls hadn’t said or done anything to you behind his, or Heeseung’s back. He wasn’t wrong, Sa-Ra and Yeon-Jin had both developed a terrible reputation since their high school years, being notoriously cruel in their bullying methods towards other females. In spite of them calming down and dropping their torturous behaviors, all for the sake of putting on a front to gain the attention of the kind and gentle twins, no one could deny the fact that the two girls still had it within them to bring out their true personalities. Once the brothers had found out, right before meeting you, they’ve been long planning on ditching their horrible girlfriends, the only problem that caused the delay, was their father’s great fondness for them, which very much could affect the prosperous future for the twins, which now mattered since they had someone they truly cared for, and wanted to protect and provide for forever, you. 

“So what’s up? What did you want to talk about? Little minx.” grabbing hold of your waist he pulls you in until your forehead meets his lips. Resting your hands on his forearms, you delicately trace your fingertips along the veins of his muscles as you speak. “The girls…you and Heeseung only dated them because you did fall for them at one point in time, right?”

Breaking his lips free from your skin, he slightly backs his head away and tilts it with a smirk planted on his lips. “Do you think we love them? Is that what this is about? Come on baby, you know we hate their guts. We just have to time it correctly. Knowing those two, they’ll run up to our dad and beg him to get involved.” 

“No-no, that’s not it. I just….I guess what I’m saying is….” your heart skipped a beat. What were you thinking? Bringing this up without any proof that the boys were the culprits behind the murders of the local women, yet here you were, about to question whether they had intentions in hurting Sa-Ra and Yeon-Jin. 

“What is it, beautiful? Come on, you can ask anything you like, we’ll always tell you the truth. We’re passed all the lying and deception, now that we have you and trained you to behave.”

The words came out effortlessly smooth and cunning. Since you’ve embraced their love for you, they have been open to admit their deceit and hidden intentions upon first meeting you. You guess it made sense, after all, what was the point of hiding the truth now that they gained your love? 

“I just…I know you both don’t like them…and I don’t mind the wait until you break it off, I just wanted to express that it goes smoothly and that no-one gets hurt, that’s all.” gulping, you shifted your gaze and avoided eye contact. Fortunately, Heejeong didn’t catch on to your suspicion relating him and Heeseung to the murdered women, and shrugged off your concern. “Of course baby, it will go smoothly and trust me, you won’t have anything to worry about. Okay? Nothing is going to happen to you, we won’t allow it.”

He had obviously missed the point, it wasn’t you that you were at all concerned about, you knew that the boys would put their own life on the line for you, it was the other two that you were worried about. Despite their rotten attitudes, you couldn’t stand by and watch anyone get murdered over nothing. Just because the girls were terrible, didn’t mean you had to be. 

A knock was heard at the door, breaking Heejeong’s grip. “Someone’s at the door?” he calmly states as he pats your waist and walks over towards the foyer. Heeseung meets up with his brother, both responding to the unexpected guest. “Baby, go upstairs and wait until we tell you to come back down.” Heeseung gently speaks out, reaching his hand out for you to grab as he directs you towards the staircase. You nodded and walked half way up, nothing out of the ordinary since the protective nature of your step-brothers included for them to hide you away until the coast was clear, especially when it came to an undetected guest. Heeseung stationed himself at the base of the staircase, letting Heejeong open the door, and that’s when you heard Heejeong’s gritted tone merge out. “Well-well…look who it is…” 

Turning around, you become stunned to find Kurt at the door. “Look Heeseung, it’s our little friend, the ex-boyfriend.” 

Heeseung remained silent, blocking the base at the stairway, developing a stern look as he glared over to Kurt. 

“I’ve come to speak to Y/N, is she here?” 

Heejeong leans against the door, crossing his arms and nods. “Mmhmm.” 

“Where is she?” 

“Watch your tone.” Heeseung spits out, never minding that you remained halfway up the stairs, facing the doorway. “He-Heeseung…” Turning his face, he reveals his side profile, revealing the sharp stare of his eye as he gently shushes you. “Go into your room Y/N, we’ll tell you when to come back down.”

“Y/N? Are you there?” responding to the faint sound of your voice, Kurt shouts out into the open foyer as he shifts his gaze past Heejeong’s intimidating stance. “Please…I have been trying to reach you for months, yet you blocked my number and I had to figure out how to reach through to you. I deserve an explanation, you just ghosted me without any reason.” 

“Come to think of it…” Heejeong extends an arm and blocks the doorway as he rests his palm on the panel, “How did you remember where we live? If memory serves me correctly, you only dropped Y/N off one time, and that was six months ago. Our address isn’t necessarily easy to remember, unless….” Straightening his posture, Heejeong takes a step over to Kurt, towering over him as he emits a fearsome glare. “You have been secretly driving by.” 

“No, I haven’t been over since then!” Kurt issues as he takes a step back. “I got a hold of your guys parents and your dad gave me the address, since y/n directed me the last time. I never had your address saved or used the GPS.” clearing his throat, Kurt remained peaceful with his request. “Listen, I didn’t come to stir up trouble, I just wanted an explanation. If I had done something wrong, I should at least-” 

“You’re doing it right now. You should have never come over.” Heeseung issues as he joins his brother’s side and squares up to Kurt, both brothers surrounding the poor man. You hastily make your way down and reach Heejeong’s back, receiving a punishing glare for not obeying Heeseung’s order to go into your room. 

“Please, just let me speak to him for a moment. You don’t have to leave, just stay here by my side and let me break things off properly with him.”

You did feel bad, considering your last conversation with Kurt was when Heeseung was on his way to Kurt’s home of record. Had you not aggressively told Kurt off, his life would have met the same fate that Jeff did, and you couldn’t allow that to happen, not then or now, even if you loved your step-brothers beyond what is considered family normality. Pulling Heeseung’s forearm, while rubbing Heejeong’s chest, you calm them as best as you could, and appeal to their loving nature for you, even though their harsh, wide-eyed stare reflected a punishment coming your way after this was over with. Whispering, you assured your brothers without letting Kurt overhear your wording. “Please…I’ll accept any punishment, and I will apologize after this is done. Just let me break things off and make sure he never comes back, I promise. It’s not his fault, It’s mine.” 

Watching their murderous glare toning down, Heejeong, the ever so rational and calm of the two, looks over to his brother and pats him on the back. “We’ll stand here and watch, let her do her thing, and give y’n her punishment later. There isn’t any need to shed blood over something that isn’t necessary.” Heeseung issues a side eye as he crosses his arms. “Whatever.” shifting his gaze back to you, he takes a step as he harshly warns you, all the while issuing a sadistically violent glare. “You tell him whatever you need to. But if he ever comes back or talks to you again, I’ll kill him. Understand?” Your eyes become glaze from fear; you do your best to remain composed as you nod, taking in Heeseung’s warning as Heejeong looks at you with an expectant raise of his brow, notably agreeing with his brother’s ultimatum. 

Walking in between the two, you remained close by as they stood, observing the conversation. 

“We can’t talk in private?” Kurt asks. 

“No, we cant!” you snap. Taking a pause, you breathed out and calmed your tone. “Listen, Kurt. I’m sorry for the way I had broken things off. Really, I am. But I have so many other things and I just can’t….I can’t be bothered with relationships or anyone else. I am sorry, really I am, but we had just one date and that was it.” 

“Y/N….what is going on? I just don’t understand, if you’re in trouble, tell me and I can help.” 

“I’m not! I’m not in trouble, I just…I want to be left alone.”

Looking past you, Kurt notes the invasive stance of the boys, and looks back at you. “Y/N…are you okay?...Are they hurting you?” he whispers, though the Hee-twins scoff, indicating they heard Kurt’s concerned voice. 

“I’m fine. My brother’s take care of me, I just…” Looking back up to Kurt, you shook your head gently. “I’m sorry…I fell in love with someone else and I didn’t know how to tell you. I wish you could understand, but…I just don’t want to be bothered by anyone else.”

“You fell in love? What the?....Are you fucking kidding me? Is that why you couldn’t spare the time on our last phone conversation? You just called me up and told me you didn’t want to be with me anymore, and then blocked my number! What the Hell is wrong with you?!” Kurt’s voice expressed anger, betrayal, and sadness. 

Tearfully, you return a gaze of sympathy as you hiccup your words, trying your best to not cry. “I’m sorry…” 

“Sorry?? That’s all you have to say? Y/N! I had been trying to get a hold of you for months! You could have just told me you found someone else, instead of wasting my time!” 

Little did he know, had you been in love from the time you broke things off, you would have. Except that your new found love for the twins had only been recent, the last few months in fact. Truthfully, despite Kurt never knowing, you initially had broken things off all to save him. 

“Hey!” Heeseung’s voice shouts from behind, with Heejeong walking over by your side. “You lost your damn mind…don’t ever raise your voice at her, or speak to her like that ever again. In fact, don’t even look at her, from here on out, you just pretend she doesn’t exist. Trust me, you’re going to want to do what I say.”

Kurt looks at Heejeong defiantly, taking his stern, yet calm words for granted. “Who are you to tell me? You have no part in this! This is between me and her, I don’t know why you both are so intrusive!” 

You heard Heeseung’s footsteps breaching behind, when suddenly a harsh grip wraps around your waist and pulls you in. Turning your body to face him simultaneously, Heeseung leans in, and kisses you. You were shocked, but knew better than to fight him off, and so, you allowed him to proceed while returning it. Heejeong smirks as he cradles you from behind, ultimately trapping you in between his and Heeseung’s towering heights. Tapping his fingers on your hips, he buries his face into the back of your head as Heeseung continues to shove his tongue down your throat; inhaling the scent of your hair, Heejeong side-eyes a smirky look over to Kurt, who stood completely stunned. “Don’t mind us…we’re just showing love to our baby sister.” 

Coating your lips with the flat surface of his tongue, Heeseung finishes his oral performance and cups your chin. Kissing the tip of your nose, he turns you around. “Give Heejeong a kiss.” 

Taking hold of your throat, Heejeong pulls you in and begins to show you the same passion as Heeseung, but flickering his tongue inside and out of your mouth. Heeseung rubs the outer sides of your thighs, and slowly lifts the hem of the oversized t-shirt you still adorned from when you awoke. Exposing your panties, Heeseng pulls your hips back as Heejeong steadies your chest to remain in touch with his, essentially causing you to develop a leaned stance as Heeseung prepares to release some steam. Kissing the back of your neck, he takes a pause and glares over to Kurt. “Leave, unless you wanna watch her get fucked. Trust me, we don’t go easy on her, and if you still have feelings for y/n, you’re not going to want to see just what we do.” 

Kurt’s shocked expression transitions into disgust as he covers his mouth. “Oh my God…you all are sick….fucking sick! You all are step-siblings! Y/n…” looking over to you with a questionable look, he watches as you open an eye and peek from the side as Heejeong continues to lock your lips, never releasing. Groaning into your mouth, Heejeong pulls back, just enough to where his lips faintly remains pressed against yours. “Run your fingers through my hair baby.” 

Reigniting the kiss, Heejeong sucks in your tongue as you obey his demand and reach up, running your fingers through his silver strands. “Good girl.” he murmurs as he rubs his tongue on the roof of your mouth. Heeseung slides your panties off to the side, and grinds his groin against your derriere. “Baby wants to get fucked in front of ex-boyfriend?” 

Again, you knew better than to retaliate. Before, you avoided displeasing the two out of fear of being locked up and isolated for days on end; if it wasn’t that, it was being subdued and forced on, receiving the roughest type of sexual fulfillment, one that you ended up loving. But now, you merely obey due to wanting more of their touch and physical nature, getting moist as their hands roam and caress every body part. 

Nodding, Heeseung smirks against the skin on the backside of your neck. “Yeeeeeah you do…” Fishing out his cock, he taps it along in between your folds. 

“What are you doing? Stop that! This is so sick! You all are sick people!” Kurt extends out, practically pleading as he gets his phone and prepares to call out, more than likely to tell your mother and Danny. 

“I promise you…Kurt.” Heeseung begins as he reaches his arm around, and harshly wraps it around your throat. Heejeong grabs onto your arms, and pins them to your sides as he dips his tongue inside your mouth once more, before looking over in Kurt’s way, and finishes Heeseung’s warning. “You can reach out and talk to anyone you’d like, and tell them what's going on. But I think you already know that we have power and money, the two things you lack, and we are the type of people you don’t fuck around with. Unless you have a death wish, in that case, we’ll be more than happy to carry-out. I suggest you dip out and forget this whole thing.” 

With a sadistic glare, Heejeong grins widely and chuckles, instilling a level of fear inside Kurt. Trembling, he loses grip of his phone out of gruesome panic; he had never seen something so frightening in his life. Hastily, he picks up his phone and quickly makes his way back inside his car, choosing to no longer stare death in the face. He wasn’t sure what it was, but something eerie about the twin’s glare initiated for him to run and never look back, no longer desiring to be involved, even if it meant doing the morally right thing and calling to notify your parents of what he had seen. No, he couldn’t do that, not with both brothers psychotically smiling his way through the windshield, both bearing teeth as they grinned while they prepared to violate your body. 

No…if it meant to save his own life from the unspeakable torture that those two had meant to do, he had to leave and never look back. Starting up the ignition, the tires of his car screeches as he backs up, and pulls out of the half circle driveway, taking off and never returning. 

“Well, I’m up.” Heeseung jests as he looks over to his brother. “You and I both.” Heejeong responds back while cupping your face. “Let’s go take this inside, hmm?...” Tilting your chin, he forces you to look into his sadistic gaze, one that was eerie, yet attractive. “Little minx.” 

They both pull you in, walking you back inside as they locked the door, armed the security system, and took you in the foyer. It wasn’t just the entryway that the two had their way with you in, there was the living room, the kitchen, the middle of the staircase, and each bedroom upstairs, to include the sitting room. It was all a part of their punishment, though you initially didn’t feel it was as such, since the twins issued you raging orgasms one after the other, to the point where the entire house was filled with echoes of your screams. By the ninth round, you felt the effects of overstimulation hit, causing you to snap and trying to break free as each brother took his turn, allowing for one to rest while the other rigorously fucks you. Hysterically screaming and desperately trying to fight them off, you watched as they both grinned down at you, eluding frightening stares as their sexual behaviors took a psychotic turn. 

“Don’t worry baby, just a little bit more and punishment will be all done. This is what you asked for, riiiiiiight?....Y/n?.....Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy/nnnnnnnnnn.” 

Authors note: Oh snap! We're reaching the height of the plot and the ending, i'd say in a few more chapters. We need to explore what is going on with the murders of these poor women. if you wish to be a part of the perm taglist, please comment below. 😊 if you enjoy the content, please consider donating to my ko-fi account, it helps me stay motivated to write series and requests and is my only source of income atm. Thank you! ❤️

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Perm Taglist: @hoyeonheeseung , @yohanabanana

[atriza]

Unbreakable Bond pt. 2

Yandere Five Hargreeves x Reader

Part 1

Summary: Y/N wakes up in a secluded, dimly lit room, still under the effects of a sedative administered by Five Hargreeves. As the memories of the night before resurface, Y/N realizes the extent of Five's obsession with her. Despite her pleas for freedom, Five insists that his actions are driven by love and the need to protect her from the dangers of the world. Trapped and powerless, Y/N comes to the terrifying conclusion that Five has meticulously planned everything to ensure they are together, leaving her with no hope of escape.

Word count: 1010 words

**Content Warning:**

This story contains dark and potentially distressing themes, including obsessive behavior, violence, manipulation, and psychological distress. It portrays a relationship that is unhealthy and toxic, where one character exhibits controlling and possessive tendencies that lead to extreme actions.

If you are sensitive to these themes or find them triggering, please consider skipping this story. R

Have Fun Reading!

Y/N awoke slowly, her mind thick with the remnants of the sedative that Five had used to put her to sleep. The fog in her brain made it hard to focus, and for a moment, she wasn’t sure where she was. The room was dimly lit, with only the faintest traces of sunlight filtering through the thick curtains that covered the windows. It was quiet—unnervingly so.

As her senses returned, so did the memory of what had happened. Her breath caught in her throat as the events of the night before flooded back—Five’s intense gaze, his words that bordered on madness, and the chilling realization that she was trapped.

Panic surged through her veins, and she tried to move, but her limbs felt heavy, weighed down by the lingering effects of the drug. She managed to push herself into a sitting position, her heart pounding in her chest as she took in her surroundings. The room was sparsely furnished, with nothing but a bed, a small table, and a single chair. The walls were bare, the floors cold and uninviting. It was as if the room had been stripped of anything that could provide comfort or a means of escape.

She forced herself to breathe, to think rationally. There had to be a way out. She couldn’t stay here—not like this, not with him.

As if on cue, the door creaked open, and Five stepped inside. He was as composed as ever, his expression calm, almost serene, as he closed the door behind him. He carried a tray in his hands, which he set down on the small table beside the bed.

“Good morning,” he said, his voice devoid of the tension that had filled it the night before. “I brought you some breakfast.”

Y/N’s eyes darted to the tray, then back to Five. The sight of the food did nothing to ease the knot of fear in her stomach. “Five,” she began, her voice shaky, “let me go. Please. This isn’t right.”

Five’s expression remained unchanged, though there was a hint of something darker in his eyes. “You’re still confused,” he replied calmly, as if he hadn’t heard her plea. “I know this is all a lot to take in, but it’s for the best. I’m keeping you safe, Y/N. This world is full of danger, and you don’t need to face it alone anymore.”

“I don’t need you to protect me like this,” Y/N argued, trying to keep her voice steady. “I’m not in danger. You’re the one who’s putting me in danger by keeping me here!”

Five’s gaze hardened slightly, and he took a step closer, his presence filling the small room. “I’m the only one who can protect you,” he said firmly. “I’ve seen what happens in this world—what people are capable of. You don’t understand, Y/N. They’ll hurt you. They’ll take you away from me. I can’t let that happen.”

Y/N shook her head, her desperation growing. “No one’s trying to take me away from you, Five! You’re the one who’s hurting me right now. This isn’t love—it’s obsession!”

He flinched at the word, a flash of pain crossing his features before he quickly masked it with his usual stoic expression. “You’re wrong,” he said softly. “This is love, Y/N. It’s more than love. It’s destiny. We’re meant to be together, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.”

She felt a chill run down her spine as his words sank in. There was no reasoning with him—his mind was made up, his reality distorted by his obsession. “You’re not thinking clearly,” she said, trying to sound calm despite the fear that gripped her. “This isn’t you, Five. The real you wouldn’t do this.”

His eyes softened, and for a moment, Y/N thought she saw a flicker of doubt. But then it was gone, replaced by the cold determination that had driven him to this point. “I’m more myself now than I’ve ever been,” he replied quietly. “I’ve finally found something worth fighting for—worth living for. And I won’t let anyone take that away.”

Y/N’s heart sank. She could see now that there was no reasoning with him, no convincing him to let her go. He was too far gone, lost in his own twisted reality.

Five reached out and gently cupped her face in his hand, his touch both tender and possessive. “You’ll see, Y/N,” he murmured, his thumb brushing against her cheek. “In time, you’ll understand. You’ll realize that this is the only way we can be together.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at him, the man she had once cared for, now a stranger consumed by his own obsession. “Please, Five,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “Don’t do this. I can’t live like this.”

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment before he pulled away. “You don’t have to worry about anything anymore,” he said, his voice soothing. “I’ll take care of everything. You just need to rest.”

With that, he turned and left the room, the door clicking shut behind him. Y/N was left alone in the cold, silent room, her mind racing as she tried to think of a way out.

But as the minutes ticked by, her hope began to dwindle. Five had thought of everything, planned every detail meticulously. He had made sure there was no way for her to escape, no way for anyone to find her.

She was trapped—his prisoner, his obsession, his fixed point in a world that had spiraled out of control.

And there was nothing she could do to change that.

-------------------------------------------------------

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[topperscumslut]

my thoughts on fivela

!TUA S4 spoilers!

i have mixed feelings about fivela.

it seems like nearly EVERYONE hates it, besides a few people who absolutely love it, and ig im just kind of in between

i don’t think five and lila should have ever happened in the first place. i think it was poor writing mainly if not solely included for shock value, and that it was unnecessary and added nothing to the main plot, besides leaving diego, lila, and five all to die unhappy with unresolved feelings, which is it’s own issue. but, since it did happen, getting to see them together i actually thought it was kinda cute and i kinda… don’t hate it? like i wish the writers had never messed with the diego and lila pairing in the first place by introducing the love triangle with five since i love diego and lila together, but i blame the writers and not the characters. i don’t think the storyline should’ve ever been written, but the characters did the best they could in the situation they were put in. i mean, they were trapped alone together for nearly seven years, it would be almost impossible to not fall in love in this situation (even if it is somewhat artificial and unhealthy). especially since this is five’s first real relationship, at now 70 years old. it’s kinda one of those tragic ships that i don’t actually ship it/like them together in reality cuz i know it’s not healthy but i like it in theory and get really emotional over it ig. again, i still don’t think this storyline should have been introduced in the first place, but i think since it was essentially inevitable/non-negotiable (steve blackman i just wanna talk), it was as well executed as it probably could be and the actors really made the best out of a shitty situation.

let’s be honest, these characters aren’t perfect. that’s why we love them. all of the brellies (and lila) are messy, flawed, chaotic, selfish, morally gray, and often cross the line between hero and villain. that’s what makes them feel so real. they’re a hot mess, but at the end of the day, they all (arguably) have good hearts. i was actually glad to see more of the unhealthily lovesick, toxic, possessive side of five that’s been hinted at and alluded to since the very beginning in reminiscences of dolores. a lot of people have been saying everything five did this season, especially in relation to lila, was completely out of character for him, which i do somewhat agree with, but not fully. this man literally fell in love with a MANNEQUIN while trapped in the apocalypse, now he’s trapped with a real human woman who he already respects and admires as a person. personally, i think five and lila should’ve gotten stuck in the subway for a MUCH shorter period of time and never had any romantic subplot, but considering that’s not what happened and they were trapped for six YEARS, what else would you expect to happen? i’ve also seen a LOT of people saying five would NEVER choose a love interest over his siblings, who he’s done everything for, and um, are y’all forgetting in s1 when five literally pulled a gun on luther for threatening dolores (A MANNEQUIN)? “five would never give up on his family to live a life with lila!” what about when five was trapped in the apocalypse (pre-commission) and essentially gave up and resigned himself to a life alone with dolores? five is canonically ride or die for his lady, whoever that may be, even to the extent that it’s unhealthy and/or that he may put his family on the back burner for his lover. like, this has BEEN established. it may not be a GOOD thing about his character, but it is a true thing.

also, im not really certain i would consider what lila did cheating in the first place. at this point, lila and five had been trapped together for YEARS and thought they were stuck with only each other for the rest of their lives and would never find their way back to their families, so they decided to build a life together (not to mention lila already mentioning wanting to take a break to diego before her and five got trapped). i’ve made this comparison before, but i mean, if luther had given up on finding sloane (as he appears to have done) and moved onto someone else (that part, not so much), would THAT be considered cheating since sloane is still technically his wife (even if in another unvierse)? cuz that’s essentially what lila did. of course, my heart was absolutely broken for diego this season. after all, even tho it had been years for lila and five, it had only been a few hours for him. that’s a horrible situation for diego to be in, but i don’t think lila and five were 100% in the wrong and i mainly blame the writers circumstances.

this is all to say, imho, the few moments we saw of five and lila as a couple were actually kind of cute (in theory) (albeit toxic and codependent) and definitely struck a chord with me, IN UNIVERSE. if we’re just seeing this as fictional characters, im not fully opposed to it. HOWEVER, steve blackman planning to set five up with an adult literally since aidan gallagher was a minor AND going along with the storyline despite protest from the actors is weird as hell, and im glad the fandom is calling him out on it. i’m just glad the actors are still such good friends, even after this season.

[playboifenty]

╰┈➤*.⋆🎬 ❝ 𝒘𝒉𝒂�� 𝒖 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒅?

🩷 • 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐢𝐲𝐚𝐳 x 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 headcanons!

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🎧 ⋆ NOW PLAYING: WHAT YOU HEARD ━ SONDER. 🎶

―🌟TAGS ! fluff, angst, toxicity, hurt/comfort ish. 🎞 SUMMARY: ❛ fuck yo mind up, waste time. ❜ high hopes, unrealistic dreams, empty promises, and bottles of expensive ass champagne is the foundation of the relationship between the two. ⋆ ★ w/c: 1.1k . . . . . ☢ content warnings: a lilllll teeny tiny bit (a lot a bit) of toxicity... (its brent idk what you expected), comfort if you squint n bend your morals a bit, suggestive-ish themes, brent is a lil sassy cause why tf not, use of the n word, and ermm..lmk if i missed anything else!! ― 🔖 one , two .

ʚ 𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫 ! 👁️‍🗨️

omg, omg, omg, hiii!!!! this is like..my first fic on tumblr and my first piece of writing in a whileee, but i wanted to write something cause i kinda sorta have nothing on my account 😭. and this fic lowkey has like a toxic relationship in mind for their relationship but its not overly toxic. (i understand the whole media for impressionable audiences thing but just scroll past it if you not fw it, relaxxx.) so this is just a lil sumn for and to get the hang of things, so let me know if you like it!! feedback is definitely appreciated, but not harsh feedback cause im lowkey sensitive 🥲. i also do not condone, romanticize, or encourage toxic, abusive, or unhealthy relationships!! this is purely just a work of fiction. enjoy!

© don't steal my shit gang. kinda proofread, will be edited.

It started off with a few stolen glances and a sudden gift disguised as a piece of chocolate cake arriving at your table… 

“Courtesy of the table across from you.”  

And it’s been history ever since. 

“I know you seen me looking at you, you know how to grab a nigga’s attention fasho.”

“Mhm, you know you playing wit’ fire right?”

“Fire aint nothing forreal if you know how to handle it.” 

He was always finding some way to make you fold and he knew exactly what he was doing too. Stringing you on with quick but sensual kisses, “I gotchu, jus’ be patient.” licking his lips whenever the energy of his heated stares was matched by you, his hands rhythmically rubbing up and down your thighs, his eyes always being locked on you whenever you spoke. . .There was no way in hell you were going to make it out unscathed. 

Quick and flirty banter is definitely a pillar in you guy’s relationship, feeling comfortable enough to go back and forth with each other.

“Don’t miss me too much! i’ll see you soon, baby.”

“Dont miss you too much? I’ll be missing you the whole week, ma.” 

He loved buying you bracelets and necklaces with his or your name engraved on them, cute lil’ bags he be seeing you eyeing whenever you walk through Chanel, giving you personalized free VIP access to his shows, shit...sending drivers to pick you up and bring you to said shows. And he always made sure you ate and did whatever you needed to do.

“You eat? Nah fuck that, you hungry?” 

“...Maybe.”

“...Don’t play with me, y/n.”

Brent is definitely a sweet-heart in the beginning, well...in his own little way. He’s a romantic but not hopeless. He knew how to show you he cared while also not overplaying his part and things would definitely need time to build up into an actual relationship too. You weren’t stupid, you knew that even though you knew him on a deeper level than all the fame and even as far as to say you knew him as Christopher, he’s still gonna Brent Faiyaz at the end of the day. There were still going to be precautions, external problems, internal problems, and then internal problems egged on by the external ones; loving him was going to be anything but easy. But your connection started to change in different ways too, the relationship would start off with lots of excitement and rose-tinted lenses until feelings started growing and shit got serious; you was thinking it was going to give Jackie Brown and a dash of search & rescue baby...but in reality, it's giving what you heard and session 32 😭. (coughs in this nigga has avoidant attachment issues) 

As soon as he realized what you two had going on was developing into something deeper, he started getting distant. Missing calls, ignoring texts, even coming up with half-assed excuses for missed dates and blowing you off. 

“My bad, I had a lot of shit going on.” 

“I was in the studio, you know how it be, y/n.”

 “I got too caught up in London, that shit was crazy.” 

“You think i could call you back though?” 

And soon the arguments came and you two started staying mad at each other for days on end, not even bothering to try and smooth things over like in the beginning of the relationship. It was hard and it gave you a lot of anxiety. You wouldn't say that you felt unsafe perse, but you definitely didn't feel comfortable. “You mean to tell me that you can't answer the fucking phone for three seconds, Chris??” You shouted, frustration built up in your voice and it was obvious that you were fed the fuck up. It didn't help that the man sitting in front of you was quick to roll his eyes and smack his teeth, but what definitely didn't help was his smart-ass mouth. “Ain't nobody tell you to hit my jack and start losing yo shit, y/n. That's the shit that be blowing me.” 

“I don’t hear from you for days and you expect me to not get worried? You’re mad at me for giving a fuck about you??”

“Whatever, man.”

The whole thing would just progressively get worse as you two went back and forth. you saying petty shit while he just dismissed your feelings until he decided that he would just tell you shit you wanted to hear so the situation would be deaded.

 “I’m sorry, y/n...” he’d say soothingly in your ear, massaging your hips in circular motions as you’d lay your head on top of his chest, close to where his heart beats. “You know I be missing you like crazy. you can't stay mad at me for too long, baby.” and he was right. This routine repeated and repeated itself over and over again until he stopped ‘comforting’ you and just seemingly stopped caring altogether. 

“Nah bro, you tweakin’.” 

“Okay, y/n. stop calling my phone then, problem solved.”

“And you swear you don’t see how your point doesn’t make sense?”

“You got it, y/n.”

With time, you two just broke away from each other, but never ended things officially. It went from short brief phone calls to text messages and eventually, those stopped too. A hole was left in your chest and you couldn’t help but feel as if you wasted your time, continuously punishing yourself because you gave out a part of yourself you won't get back ━ but you couldn’t help but miss him. You’d find yourself compensating for his absence, making two plates of everything, migrating to his unspoken side of the bed, never taking the flowers he got you out of the vase you put them in; even though they long withered away. “I can't believe this nigga got me out here wasting food, groceries are expensive...Eggs are almost four fucking dollars! I can't do this shit, I need to get a grip and be fucking forreal.” 

But let's not pretend he didn’t find himself trying to make sense of your absence, too. 

⋆ ⤏ FINAL WORDS ! 📢 honestly this doesn't feel like it's 1k+ words but it is 😭. i'm so tired chile and i start school in 4 hours. i'm actually content with how this came out, fw it!!

PART TWO COMING SOON.

📸 TAGS !

[cornyonmains]

Decided to read the novel for My Stand In, which is titled Professional Body Double. I'm a little disappointed with some of the changes the show made. Needless to say, novel spoilers ahead, though I won't touch on anything that hasn't happened in the show, as I'm only halfway through the book. Anyways, on to my first beef with the show.

One of the most informative aspects of Joe's character was changed. In the novel, Joe had also never been on bottom before, but that wasn't because he was holding out for someone special. At the beginning of the novel Joe is fielding offers for threesomes, the guy's been around the block and doesn't have a huge attachment to his virginity. Joe's character never bottomed because he'd quite simply never gotten the offer thanks to his more masculine looks. What makes this even more depressing is you find out that he thought it might have been his preference in the first place, but Joe being Joe, advocated about as well for himself during sex as he did anything else.

I think it was unwise to switch things up the way they did, because it really does explain a lot about why Joe was willing to suffer so many indignities to be with Ming. Joe asked for very little from the people in his life and didn't get it. Joe never really stood a chance when Ming came along and started giving him what he wanted.

Another thing I thought it was a shame the show didn't highlight is that in the novel, there's a fairly considerable age gap between Joe and Ming. Ming is 20 and Joe is 30. This actually offered a lot of explanation as to why Joe ignored a lot of Ming's red flags. He didn't ignore them, he just chalked a lot of it up to Ming being young and spoiled. But that's not to say the novel lets Joe off the hook.

Joe was, and I truly do lack a better word to describe this, completely servile to Ming. In the novels he waited on him hand and foot, created no real sexual boundaries with him, and preferred placating Ming's temper over challenging it. He was willing to meet any conditions for them to be together.

Ming's character progression is something I wish the show could have found a way to depict. Because during this time, Ming's development wasn't stagnant. What Joe had right, to an extent, was that Ming was young and still learning how to process his feelings. Towards the end of their first relationship, Ming had managed, for the most part, to regard Joe as completely distinct from Tong, and not just as a replacement. It's heavily implied he was in love with Joe, but just didn't know how to process these realizations that kept coming to him in piecemeal.

Ming liked the happy and relaxed environment he had with Joe in his condo, he was convinced nobody would ever be as sexually compatible with him as Joe, and he'd actually wanted to support him the first time Joe came home completely exhausted from set, but didn't say anything about it until he fucked up. Ming, who ran away to America as soon as he realized he was gay, did what Ming always did, he was quietly processing things, and was too young and stupid to give Joe a clue. He took for granted that Joe would be, in HIS words, obedient and docile.

The author of this, Shui Qian Qeng, is so good at writing gay toxicity it's stupid. It made me wonder if they're part of the community, but we don't speculate in this house, it's just a passing thought I had due to how nuanced the depiction of sexual confusion in this book is, particularly with Sol's character. Sexual confusion in BL tends to play very formulaically on screen. Existential crisis, a few heartfelt conversations, one cursed episode, a kiss at the end of the season, and everyone lives happily ever after. In the novel, Sol struggles for years, and is still processing his sexuality in an unhealthy way because the 'I'm straight, but only gay for this one guy in particular' trope so often used in BL is used in this novel, but to convey denial and sexual struggle. Upon Joe's death, Sol is still saying he's straight, but that Joe's the exception. This is treated with much deserved skepticism. Shui Qian Qeng, as a queer person who knows you're not reading this, bless you for that. I so desperately wish Sol's story would have been better adapted for the show.

To wrap things up on a lighter note, I also found out by reading this novel that tops and bottoms are referred to as ones and zeros in China. And my sheltered Midwestern ass was like, "Well that's rude." because one of them was a zero. Then I was like, "Well why would someone refer to themselves as a zero? That's not healthy." Then I started thinking about what the numbers looked like, 0 and 1, and was like, "Oh." It was an emotional rollercoaster.

[blackbullet99]

I don’t understand why Zutara shippers are so obsessed with hating Aang (or Kataang).

I understand they wish Zutara was canon, and that’s perfectly valid. I get why people ship it, and even though a good chunk of the toxic side of the ZK fandom say some pretty racist stuff, the ship is harmless. But the hate is vitriolic. You got to people like the-badger-mole, sokkastyles, longing-for-rain and they spend more time whining about Aang and his relationship with Katara than they talk about Zutara. They say the most objectively untrue stuff about Aang, Katara and Zuko as if making false claims about these characters is the only way to make their ship look good.

For example:

“Zuko did some bad things throughout the show, but Aang is worse because he never supported Katara and sexuality assaulted her. Not to mention Katara never had feelings for Aang, he was practically her son that she had to take care of”.

What ZKs actually sound like:

“Zuko did some bad things throughout the show, so we have to make Aang look worse by comparison to ensure that Zuko is a better match for Katara, despite his own problems, because surely a poorly timed kiss is the same is sexual assault. We falsely believe Aang never supported Katara because he didn’t agree with her seeking vengeance of the person who killed her mom, unlike Zuko who helped her out, meaning that one single episode must mean he’s the only one who supports Katara. Lastly, we have to find a way to make Katara’s obvious affection for Aang problematic, so let’s blow her motherly traits way out of proportion and say that any time she shows Aang affection, it’s a mom coddling her toddler, and yes Aang is a toddler because he’s BALD. So what that they kissed, they’re a mother and child. Also Katara emotionally supporting Aang is bad, she actually hates it. Dude trust me”.

They reason I bring this up is because I don’t understand why they have to be so bitter, it just makes them look pathetic that these people, some fully grown adults are so butthurt about a non-canon pairing from a 20 year old cartoon. Their media-illiterate ramblings don’t prove Aang and Katara are a bad couple, they just make it painfully obvious to anyone with a brain that these types of pathetic ZKs are just seething and coping.

Sure, you might say “I’m not one to talk” seeing as Kataang is canon, but let me tell you, I have my fair share of non-canon ships that I love.

I love Ichigo X Rukia, I think they have great chemistry and strong bond, I wish they were endgame, they felt like the heart and soul of Bleach. But I don’t hate Orihime, such a sweetheart (plus she gave us the Leekspin meme) her and Ichigo are cute, I just think Ichigo and Rukia are better.

I love Black Widow X Captain America from The MCU, they would’ve been a cute couple, they had good chemistry, they kissed for corn’s sake. I don’t care that much for Steve X Peggy, they’re kinda cute, but whatever, although I do really like Captain America’s ending. I don’t like Nat X Bruce, seeing as it came out of nowhere, but whatever, it didn’t last long anyway and I have nothing against either character.

If anything I’m more prone to getting annoyed when a beloved canon couple are broken up, all the build up thrown away and replaced with another character whom has less chemistry with the original. Case in point, Haley and Andy from Modern Family, they were so cute, they had great chemistry and there was so much build up, only for Andy to leave in the season where he and Haley become a couple. Then later Haley and her initial on again off again guy Dylan get together and I gotta say, I don’t like it. But I have nothing against the character, Dylan’s a sweet guy who genuinely loves Haley and matured a lot, and they’re in no way a bad or unhealthy couple, there are people who genuinely like them as a couple too. I do think Haley’s character was kinda done dirty, but that had absolutely nothing to do with what guy she ended up with.

The moral of this story is, you can like a non-canon ship and even dislike a canon ship without making up ridiculous reasons why and acting like a spoiled entitled brat like the vocal minority of ZeeK freaks from the the toxic side of the fandom.

[museofthepyre]

do you know what everyones problem with elijah is? Im new to to fandom and im so genuinly confused as to why people seem to like think elijah is the worst (as in evil) character in the series. like i dont think people find him poorly written, they just, dont like him? which is fine yknow like who you like, but then people act like jedediah is a flawed but good character? which confused me a lot since I actually dislike jedediah more, as he just hurts in a more personal way it feels like. Elijah was sweeping Sydney in with promises of love that he hadnt gotten from jedediah, sydney only accepted that because of the way jedediah had been shunning him for years. It really bothers me that people forgive jedediah for his bad behavior, but then crucify elijah for behavior that while yes was very bad, had been hurting syndey way less for way shorter, and the only reason sydney was that vulnerable was because of jedidiah. Im asking because i am genuinly confused and I cant find anyone talking about the why of disliking elijah, i dont know if im missing something because of personal bias (jedidiahs mistakes that hurt sydney hit much closer to home than elijahs) sorry if this is a bit rambly, Im just very disenheartened to see so many people say they hate elijah when I just dont understand why, you dont need to answer this ask btw its mainly just curiousity

I think you kind of touched on the answer a bit already- imo it definitely comes down to what hits closer to home for any given listener. We all have unconscious biases. We all consume media through the lens of our own life experiences, and… ok ramble incoming

Elijah and Jedidiah both think/ behave in ways that are profoundly human, they represent very real concepts (see my whole Jedidiah= unhealthily distant, withdrawn and cold attachment style, and Elijah= unhealthily obsessive, suffocating and intense attachment style rant). These aren’t your typical innately evil villains, they’re just unhealthy people with warped ideas of love. That is an all too common thing to see irl. I think because of that… many of us can relate one or both of them to people we‘ve known in our own lives… alternatively, we can relate them to ourselves. I’ve heard some people say that Elijah’s actions hit a nerve because of past traumas with toxic relationships… aaand I’ve heard people say the exact same thing about Jedidiah! I think Elijah receives more scrutiny because his actions were… well they were actions. Visible, overt, right in front of you. You can point at them, pick a line from the transcript and say “that right there is bad”. Jedidiah’s wrongs often came in the form of neglect and abandonment, an absence of action, that’s so much harder to pinpoint. Maybe he’s slipping under people’s radars? Maybe more people see themselves in him and have a sense of understanding (which is valid, he embodies some very relatable neurodivergent struggles). Maybe it’s because he steps up and works on himself by the end and we don’t see that from Elijah (yet). Maybe people find Elijah “worse” because he reminds them of a more common negative experience, I’m not sure. One could speculate.

I’ll speak personally as an example of what I mean: I am wayyyyyyy more upset by Jedidiah’s actions. And that’s because of… you guessed it… my own personal experiences and how they influence my perception 🎉🎉🎉 I’ve got BPD, and I have an all consuming fear of abandonment. The idea of loving somebody and then having them suddenly withdraw, avoid you, and treat you coldly all the while providing NO EXPLAINATION WHATSOEVER… just leaving you to spiral and pick apart your own behaviours under a microscope, thinking you must be the problem— it’s a major trigger of mine. I’ve lived it!!! I grew up with it!!!!! It hits a huge sore spot for me and I admittedly struggle to overlook that sometimes when I see him.

Conversely, Elijah… I unfortunately connect with in a much deeper way. My own default attachment style is obsessive, intense, and often leaves me tunnel-visioned and unstable (…BPD), and he speaks a language I understand? If that makes sense. I see so much untreated, pre-awareness me in him. I know what it is to be involuntarily engulfed by an all-consuming obsession/ delusion. He doesn’t scare me, because I know what he’s made of- I see what’s beneath it all when I look in the mirror. Or at least that’s the lens through which I interpret him, I’m sure many disagree and yk what? Absolutely valid!!!!

There’s no one correct way to consume media, yada yada you get the idea, CHNT is unique because no character is intentionally malicious or evil (not counting Adam maybe… Lucille you’re on thin ice) and it’s fascinating how there’s such a dichotomy between the love and hate for these two. I may have swayed a bit off topic I just have many thoughts. I might come back with more later.

Ok rant over 🪱

[trinkerichi]

What is your oppion on ribbun?

OOOH that's Jax/Gangle right? Oh boy you probably aren't asking for this but I feel like doing a big ramble and this is gonna be a long one. CHARACTER ANALYSIS INCOMING!

I'll preface this by saying I don't usually get too invested in shipping. I really like drawing interesting character dynamics tho, so I'll play around with the ships I see without really sticking to one. It's why I tend to draw a LOT of different ships only a few times each.

I'll ALSO preface by saying I really uh. Don't like Jax very much lmao I'm sorry. I'm not opposed to jerk characters in general, but I just didn't think any of his lines were funny. BUT I think that comes down to the fact that we only have a pilot and haven't seen much of their personalities yet. My favorite jerk characters, (Osomatsu, Bender, etc) all balance out their jerkiness by being dorky insecure losers that almost never win in the end so you kinda feel bad for them. I think if Jax ends up being written that way I'll become endeared to him. And goose has revealed before that none of the others actually like Jax so I kinda want to see that.

On the other hand, Gangle is my favorite character. She has barely 2 minutes of screen time but I love her concept so much. A friend called me out for this recently lol but all my BIG FAVS are characters that are themed around strong divided emotions. Pretending they're happy even when they're not, and having a hard time controlling their emotions as a result. (The latest ENA episode was a great example of this. Anyway.) Gangle being a sensitive flimsy pile of ribbons with a literal mask for a face? The fact that the tragedy mask seems to be her REAL face, while the comedy mask is so fragile that breaks if you so much as breathe on it too hard? I find that COMPELLING I want to see a whole series about her honestly.

Pairing her with Jax was inevitable, as is any fandom ship where the characters hate each other in canon. I usually hate this kind of pairing but this time I found it kinda fascinating! I think it's cause we don't really know a whole lot about either one of them so there's a lot of room to explore their characters through it.

I really do feel like Jax could hold a specific resentment towards Gangle. He's obviously not handling being stuck in the circus well, and he's bullying easy targets. He plays dirty. A person with high self esteem doesn't do that. Maybe he takes it out on Gangle because he hates how open she is about her feelings. He's putting on a tough and uncaring front, trying to pretend nothing bothers him, and she's out here being sensitive and fragile? How dare she! He's pushing her to her limits and she still won't harden herself. She doesn't have the energy to! Maybe she feels like she doesn't deserve to defend herself. It's so unhealthy! It's horrible!... And uh, sometimes horrible things are fun to write! DON'T JUDGE ME.

(And just so nobody accuses me of being insensitive here, without revealing too much, I've been in Gangle's place before. That's all I'll say.)

So with relationship stuff oh boy. We can take all those toxic traits to their extremes. But who would be the instigator?

What if Gangle coped with Jax's bullying by becoming more clingy. Becoming used to it.. Seeking him out. After all, he's paying attention to her right? Her warped self image being depressed and isolated in this circus for years would drive her to wanting any kind of stimulation.. does she realize this is self harm? What's it going to take for someone to step in before it goes too far?

Or on the other hand, what if Jax's fixation on bullying Gangle got mixed up in some more complex feelings.. If he really wanted to, I can see him manipulating her into a relationship just to see how many boundaries he can cross. He could have her wrapped around his little finger. Literally. He DOES have some misplaced affection for her deep down. He won't let himself think about it long enough to understand it, he's acting on impulse. She's uncomfortable but thankful for the seemingly lessened cruelty, so she puts up with it. And sometimes, rarely, between the thinly veiled insults disguised as compliments, he says something truly genuine and vulnerable. She can see it. He needs help. He needs love. But they're both hurting each other even more. It's wrong, but they're stuck now.

And now.. for the drama. Nobody can be pushed that far before snapping. As is the usual trope with soft spoken pushover characters, Gangle is a ticking time bomb. And I don't think she'd be willing to abstract entirely because of Jax, at least without clawing her way down.

Here's a fun fact. Have you seen that walk cycle video? Jax is tall, sure, but Gangle is PRETTY DARN TALL TOO. and she slouches. With her ribbons stretched to their full length she would tower over everybody. I want to see her get angry and be SCARY. I want her to stand up to Jax and lash out and scream and see him Genuinely Terrified. Everyone else caught in the crossfire too, covered in ribbon slashes. It wouldn't last forever. If the tension doesn't cause her to abstract she'll calm down eventually, or someone will be forced to break her mask to snap her out of the tantrum. Jax would pretend it didn't shake him at all, but would be noticeably quiet afterwards. Kinda shifting uncomfortably, they both avoid eye contact for as long as possible. His teasing towards Gangle never goes beyond slight ribbing again.

Whew.

Ok uh if you read this far, I don't LIKE the ship but it's a great character exercise! Hah I've thought a lot about it clearly. That being said, i usually prefer sweet cuddly ships myself. I think my favorite is Gangle/Pomni. I haven't seen this one around much, but those two are my favorite characters in the show and I'd love to see them interact! I think they could help each other with their anxieties and it'd be really cute. I don't even necessarily need it to be romantic I just think they'd have a sweet little dynamic together.

Surprisingly I've seen Gangle shipped with Zooble the most even though they haven't talked at all either and Zooble has like.. 2 lines. It might be cute but I wanna know more about them first.

As for Gangle n Kinger, I prefer them to have more of a father daughter type dynamic.

[l0velylecter]

I LOVE your ghost hc’s!!❤️, if you’re up for it can you make more angsty/toxic relationship (sorry if that sounds weird or if it makes you uncomfortable) headcannons with ghost? ❤️

imagine going through a divorce with simon ‘ghost’ riley, told through the five stages of grief 

— going through a divorce with simon ‘ghost’ riley, told through the five stages of grief rating : m for mature and suggestive themes pairing : f!reader / simon ‘ghost’ riley tags : angst, a lot of angst, minor mentions of violence, he won’t be a good partner no matter how much you want him to be, i wouldn’t say toxic because i’m can’t really stomach writing that, but more or so unhealthy relationship, he has anger issues and this might induce anxiety, he is self destructive and afraid of intimacy,  mentions of sex/smut fandom : cod mwii warnings : cursing, suggestive themes, mdni (minors don’t interact)

01 | You've lost count of the times you've denied that something is wrong between you and Simon. Once, you made the mistake of waiting on him for dinner, and he had entered the house with his mask pulled up to his nose — carrying a busted lip and several scars down his arms, his boots tracking blood and grime along the floor. Almost immediately: your concern was dismissed with anger — " Fucking hell, this is precisely why I didn't want you to wait. Cause you'd start running your mouth and asking all these bloody fucking questions."

With that, he stormed off into your room, leaving you to eat your home-cooked dinner alone: chewing on the cold meat so you won't cry. Ever since then, you keep telling yourself that he was just having a bad day, that he was just tired, that he was just trying his best. You never complained, even when his deployment grew longer, nor when he doesn't sleep in your bed anymore: always opting for the couch. Even when you barely talk and check up on one another. And even when he leaves almost immediately after you fuck without a kiss or a goodbye, you still convince yourself that Simon wasn't hurting you. That instead: he was just so full of hurt that it was overflowing out of him, and sometimes you can't help but be there when he spills.

02 | But Simon lives and breathes on anger, and it has become him. You were afraid of how much closer to a weapon he was than a man; how could he not hurt you when his jaw would clench at every minor inconvenience? Whether it was because you passed him the wrong tool when fixing his motorcycle or because you had locked yourself out of the house: Simon was always finding reasons to snap, and the worst part is that Simon doesn't realize it. Passive aggressive comments would turn into full-blown arguments, and worse, he would start throwing things. While your husband was not aiming at you, the cup had smashed into pieces — one of the strays flying to scratch you on the cheek. Immediately he fell on his knees in front of you, arms reaching out as if to touch. Yet when you flinched, he immediately slinked back. You couldn't take it anymore: breaking down into a sob, and as always, Simon only watched. That night, when he had left for his mission: you finally found the strength to sweep through the house. Somewhere into the argument, he had knocked over your picture together — your marriage had been a private ceremony between Simon and you. You couldn't stop the tears when you noticed for the first time in years that even at his wedding, his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. 

03 | Not wanting to give up just yet, you tried to bargain. You suggested that speaking with a professional might help — even going as far as booking appointments without Simon knowing. While he wasn't happy, your husband went nonetheless, proving that there is still hope. And slowly, you were starting to see him smile again. Oh, how you've missed it, missed him: you miss teaching him how to make paper cranes with the napkins as you wait for takeout. You miss his army humor over dinner and how he wiped the corner of your mouth with his thumb when you had sauce stuck there. You miss being able to kiss him goodnight and have him kiss you goodbye. It's just a shame that the good times are not enough to cover the bad. What's the point of all that hard work if he's just going to throw himself into battle again? It was like taking one step forwards and three steps back, and in the end, it doesn't matter how much you try, you were in love with a ghost; a shadow of a husband who used to exist in the past and now only lives in your head.  04 | To see the house so empty was more than depressing; without any furniture or tables, it was hard to believe that you once used to share a meal with Simon here almost every night. It was hard to believe you were ever married at all. You knelt to pick up the last box, nearly dropping it when Simon appeared by the doorway. Immediately you denied having gone through his things, and for a second, his eyes withered at the sight of you panicking — eyelids puffy and nose red. You both worked in silence, and while Simon kept his belongings to a minimum, it didn't stop him from staying to help you. It makes you feel worse knowing that within an hour, you felt more loved by him than in the years you were together, and it was on the day you both signed your divorce. For the sake of his identity, your marriage wasn't even on official records, so it was just an informal signing of the little paper you had kept for yourself. When he loaded the last box into your car, you couldn't help but burst into tears when you saw a miniature paper crane peeking out of his motorcycle bag. 

" Quit crying now," Simon murmured, pulling you into a hug for the first time in ages. He had a hand behind your head, stroking your hair, " It wasn't your fault. You made the right choice. Don't make this any harder for the both of us."

It all happened so fast: he lifted his bacalava to his nose to give you one last kiss on your lips, your scar, and your forehead. He even kneeled to tie your shoelaces when not even you realized they were loose. And when your ex-husband drove off, you didn't start the car until an hour later. 05 | Soap knew it was better not to poke around other people’s business, but he wasn’t the only one who found it strange that Ghost didn't carry any dog tags — and it was even stranger to see that he had two rings on his neck instead: the smaller band slotted perfectly inside the other. He asked Gaz about it, who asked Laswell about it, who asked Price about it, who eventually shut the ‘gossip’ down. Until Ghost got shot in the fucking chest, and a paper crane fell out of his pocket. 

“ Hey, Lt.” Soap asked through the comm, “ Why cranes ?”

There was a pause where Soap thought that this would be the part where he gets ignored for the third time that night.

“ They’re easy to make.”

“ So are planes. And frogs.”

He’s heard the man frustrated and angry, but Soap never heard him sad. Until the lieutenant finished recoiling his gun to curtly reply, “Because she said they mate for life.” 

His tone had been stern and final as if that was his way of accepting the past: Ghost never brought it up again.

a/n : first of all anon i’m sorry i suck at making head canons, i have to literally turn it into a story so the hcs have to be read in between the lines 😔 and i can’t make it purely toxic cause i can’t really stomach it so i have to make it more on the sad side, but i hope you enjoy this nonetheless ! Thanks for requesting <3

imagine the ‘exes who still love each other but know that being together is too painful’ trope + simon ‘ghost’ riley

headcanons of simon ‘ghost’ riley in a relationship with you ( and eventually, out of it )

[merakiui]

Oooooh expand more on incel discord mod scara? 👀👀👀

(cw: yandere, brief nsfw, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, incel behaviors, obsession, misogyny)

Either he lives in Ei's basement, or she kicked him out and so now he lives in a very nice apartment far from her. Scaramouche is an incredibly toxic gamer; the type who will spam petty nonsense like “kys” or “your mom doesn’t love you” or “get better at the game before you talk to me” or “i bet you shoot blanks irl.” He is a menace and a bully and an omen all in one terrible package. You’d think that with all of his cruelty he’d actually be trash at games, right? He’s actually surprisingly good—too good, actually, to the point where he’s placed very high on leaderboards and in online tournaments. He also has the worst gamer rage and short temper...

He’s in a server that was created by a pro-gamer who calls herself the Tsaritsa. There are eleven mods in total, with Scara being the sixth. Your meeting wasn’t exactly a meeting; it was more of you had been in a VC with him and a few others and the lot of you were playing games for the fun of it. Scara had some time to kill and he figured that annihilating everyone in the lobby and flexing his skills would give his ego a significant boost. What he doesn’t expect is for you to actually beat him and top his score by a few measly points. He claims he doesn’t care, but then you lightheartedly rub it in his face and now he really cares. The two of you end up arguing in the VC, going back and forth about skill issues and raw talent and how he should just relax because it’s just one win. He ends up kicking you out of anger and spite. 

Later, after appealing to mod Dottore (Scara hates him), you’re let back into the server after having promised to not stir up trouble or fights. Scara doesn’t notice your arrival for a few weeks until he spies your profile picture in the VC and he’s immediately reminded of how annoying you were that day. He’s been grinding on that game ever since you beat him just to improve; he’s such a loser. 

Scara actually doesn’t play with the other server members often. He’s more of a solo gamer, but with you in the picture he’s determined to put you in your place. That singular win chips his pride more than he’s willing to admit, so whenever he sees you alone in VC he’ll hop in and demand a rematch. You always agree, and each time you always win. Scara is losing his mind. How is he suddenly so trash?! What’s going on? He used to be so good—and he’s still good! You’re just hacking or something. Did you secretly team up with Dottore and did he let you in on some stupid hacking tricks? Is that what’s going on?

Every time you win, you tell Scara to get better. He’s trying. Archons, he cannot stand you. He’d kick you again, but like a worthless cockroach you’d just find a way back in. 

At some point, the two of you add each other so you can take your feud beyond the server. Every weekend the two of you engage in rematches and you win every time. If Scara’s pride was cracked before, it’s absolutely shattered now. His hatred for you and your skills (which he is certain are just cheap hacks) grows day by day until it gets to a point where he’s going through the socials you’ve linked to your discord profile just to see what kind of person you are beyond games. You might not even be a female, but Scara automatically sees you as one because of how annoying you are. He has this whole mindset that “women can’t be good at video games” and so regardless of your gender he’s going to live with the thought that you are a female who is kicking his ass at a game he used to be godly at. And Scara, as a pro-gamer, as a man, cannot let this continue to happen.

The next time you’re challenged to a rematch, you text him: if I win you have to pay for my groceries for the month. Scara thinks that’s a stupid request, but he agrees. And if he wins you have to leave the server forever and never return. Unsurprisingly, you win. But just barely. Scara doesn’t care enough to wonder why that might be, but then you’re typing to him: gg, not my best game. I’m kinda hungry and running on three hours of sleep rn, so I’m not at my best. 

Scara peers at the message with a scowl, sitting perched in his gaming chair. sleep, idiot, he tells you. and make sure you eat.

Obviously he tells you this only because he wants you to be in peak condition when he plays with you next. Not because he’s worried or anything. 

Your grocery bills are covered for two months instead of the one.

At some point, amidst trying and failing, Scara thinks he’s gone insane. He must be trapped in some vicious, unbreakable loop. He knows he should probably give up, but giving up would look weak and then his server members might say he has a small dick for letting you win all the time. He hates you, but what he hates more is when you stop appearing online for your weekly rematches. The idea that he would be worried over you is so lame. He’s not worried. He just needs you to be in one piece so he can kick your ass. 

The next time you text him you tell him you were busy with your real life, which is understandable, but Scara is chronically online and so he thinks that in the time you were offline you were busy fooling around like a slut. Is that how you’re so good at games? You seduce the competition and then win while they’re distracted? He hates you and your trickery. 

But he still finds himself asking if all is good on your end. If you need him to send money. If you need anything. Since when did he care so much? It’s not caring, Scara assures himself; it’s hate-caring. He’s doing this only because he needs you here so he can win. 

Without realizing it, you’ve become Scara’s discord kitten. He sends you money out of spite, he pays for your groceries and other necessities out of hatred, he stays up late on VC with you just to trash-talk and insult you (i.e. get to know you more). He finds your personal social media accounts and the accounts of your real life friends and he pulls up pictures of you on his three monitors and fucks into his hand to the sight of you. 

He really is going insane. How did he get to this point? Since when were you able to get him this hard? Why does he immediately think of you when he’s doing the most mundane tasks like chores or shopping and suddenly he’s insatiably horny? It must be because you’re a worthless female using your charms to seduce him, to always beat him at games, to use him like you probably use every other man you’ve come across!

Scara decides that, regardless of whether he wins or loses to you, he ought to just take you for himself and keep you in his apartment as his little housewife. Then he can get back to being good at video games and you can serve him like you’re meant to. He just needs to find your address and plan a few things, as well as buy some...tools. 

He can’t wait to welcome his kitten home. :)