#i LOVE talking about specific shit like this!
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help-help-i-need-an-adult ¡ 12 hours ago
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This!
I love to sing. I’ve been singing on stage and at every opportunity since I was 5.
I have traveled the country to sing. I volunteered to be awake every day at 4am and not get home till midnight during the final week of a semester every year to do extra singing as a kid.
I’ve sang with opera companies and local theaters and ballet companies as a volunteer.
When I was the age I was doing this, my dad told me to do what I love for a living and I’ll never work a day in my life.
The thing is singing is work. A lot of it. And it’s hard work.
(There are some lucky people who could refuse to do a lot of the things I’m about to get into and still be successful professional singers, but I promise you, they are not the majority of musicians.)
Specifically, I hate reading sheet music. I can read it and I’m really good as sight reading. But I hate it.
I hate wearing makeup. The older you get, the more you’re expected to wear makeup.
I hate heels. And shaving. And a slew of other things you are expected to do all the time if you’re a singer as an adult female. Dresses and bras and spanks and UGH! No thank you.
And here’s another thing. I watched my older sister who also loves to sing pursue being an opera singer since the age of 13.
She worked a job as early as 14 to pay for her own piano lessons. She went to a fine arts high school and trained under one of the most prestigious soprano opera coaches in the world. She couldn’t get into a college of the same caliber, but studied music anyway.
I watched her bleach her hair to straw and then stop. Over eat and then starve herself with a scary diet. Worry about her makeup every damn day and wear heels around the house so she would be used to them. Fret over outfits being exactly what would be acceptable in her profession of choice to the point where she didn’t have clothes for clubbing with friends. She wore a pink sweater and white pencil skirt to go clubbing with a friend once. She looked like she was going to church.
She got her 1st degree in music education because she couldn’t audition for an opera company till she was 35, and then didn’t use it because she hated teaching children.
She proceeded to work retail and food service and hate it and be miserable and mean to everyone around her because of it.
She became so critical of MY singing and MY appearance because she assumed I’d follow her footsteps to being a professional singer. I couldn’t sing to myself while doing chores without her stopping me to tell me I’d done xyz wrong. I couldn’t buy and wear a dress for an event without her spending hours telling me why it was ugly and how I’d get raped in it. (Nevermind how many other people told me it looked lovely, that shit sticks in your head in a bad way.)
She tried to force me into a diet at 14. I was 5’5 and 130lbs soaking wet.
She called me lazy for not having to energy and drive to pay for my own piano lessons. Nevermind that my teenager level paycheck was going to pay for my own medical care.
I know she kept going back to school for music and was working on her doctorate at one point because our brother told me about it. I have no idea if she’s auditioned and been accepted by an opera company or not. I stopped talking to her over a decade ago because I couldn’t take her abuse anymore.
She took dad’s advice so literally that she worked herself into a terrible person. She was just as miserable as our dad who didn’t follow his dreams at all because of money if not more so.
I watched her doing these things to herself and others and by 14 I realized I did not want that for myself.
I tried a few different things. I thought I might be a lawyer or historian or even a teacher.
In the end, college was awful for me. I never finished despite getting a head start on it at 15. I worked retail jobs until I landed my current position.
I like it a lot. More importantly, I love the life it affords me.
I like the work. It’s fairly repetitive and easy to manage. It even is contributing to a cause I find to be important to bettering the world.
I like the people I work with. I get to work from home and watch tv while I work and have a cat on my lap. I almost never have to get dressed unless I have an in-person meeting. Virtual meetings? No one cares what I’m wearing as long as I’m fully clothed. I’m far from the only one who doesn’t shave or wear makeup despite it being a female dominated space. It’s LGBTQ+ friendly and is actually being ahead of the curve on inclusion in many respects (wild for being in a red state).
Sometimes I get paid to eat s’mores and go on scavenger hunts. My hours are flexible. I have almost 400 hours of saved up sick time I can use. My boss is human and accommodating for things like death in the family even though my family now is a found family.
My pay isn’t stellar because my job is “entry level” but it still pays better than most anything else I’m qualified for without a college degree.
And I can afford to sing.
I sing with 2 local choral ensembles regularly. One of them requires me to wear makeup and shave and wear costumes when we perform. One just wants me to wear all black and not smell bad.
I volunteer to sing with fellow alumni of the prestigious children’s choir I grew up with. Their appearance requirements are somewhere in between the other two.
And I love it because it’s for me. I could stop if one group or another ever stopped filling my cup. I don’t have to read sheet music daily or panic over auditions or spend every day working on pieces I hate.
It’s lovely, because I can still love it.
This isn’t to say you can’t love the grind.
One of my choral ensembles had a director (we recently lost her due to a move) who does singing, our specific kind of singing, for a living. She scrapes by financially with making learning tracks and teaching and coaching. Her travel schedule is crazy because the quartet she performs and competes with live all over the country and they perform and teach all over the world. She wears makeup all the time and cute clothes and is comfortable in heels and navigating stages without her glasses.
Unlike my sister, she’s happy doing these things, but it still looks exhausting.
I don’t want to have to live her schedule. I don’t have her energy levels and never have.
I value my peace and I want my music to be for me. Not a pay check. I want to be able to interpret music and put in artistry I like sometimes. But other times I’m perfectly happy just being part of the group that meets once a week.
Figure out if depending on your art to eat would make you hate it. If so, do something else that you like and can afford you the life and art you love.
I see a lot of people who tell young people–especially young people who are heading into college–that they should “do what they love.” And they’re right. You should do what you love.
But there’s a world of difference between doing what you love for you, and doing what you love for a paycheck. 
I went to undergrad for graphic design and 3-D design–art and more art, I usually say–and I loved it. You know what I didn’t love? Trying to collect my fees from clients. Trying to meet unrealistic, over-simplified or over-specific briefs from people who didn’t know what they were talking about. Coming home, having worked creatively all day, with no creative juice left for the things I wanted to do.
You know what I would tell you instead? Do something that you can be interested in, with people you like.
You don’t have to love it. Loving your work can be a lot, and it often means you have to live in your job 24/7. Some people can do that. Not everyone can, or should.  But if you can find work that’s interesting enough that it doesn’t feel tedious, and people you can enjoy spending your 9-5 with, and you can make money, that’s great! It means you can do the things you love for you.
I’m in law school now. It’s interesting work, and difficult, and I like doing it. I like how complicated it gets, and I like the stories it tells. But I don’t come home and read law journals for fun. I come home, and I sculpt, and I draw, and I paint, and I read. I do these things for me.
And I love it. 
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heavyhitterheaux ¡ 1 day ago
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Santa Tell Me
See Me Through You Series
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Synopsis: It's your first time celebrating Christmas with Joe as a couple as your first semester at LSU comes to an end. The two of you celebrate in your own little way seeing as Joe is going back home while you are headed to New Orleans. However, you confide in your best friend about your hesitations about getting into another relationship so quickly and hoping that what feels like a fairy tale isn't too good to be true
Pairing: Boyfriend!Joe Burrow x Girlfriend!Reader
Series Masterlist
Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere
The timer went off once again letting you know that all of the cookies were now officially done baking. As you were taking them out of the oven and placing them on the cooling rack, Erin attempted to grab one to eat it when you quickly slapped her hand away resulting in her letting out a yelp followed by her glaring at you.
“Ow!”
“Those are specifically for Joey so we can decorate them once he gets here. I literally just made you an entire cheesecake.”
“But I want a cookie, too!” Erin exclaimed, but you weren't budging.
“No and he should be here soon.”
As you sat at the table in your small kitchen, Erin sat across from you and had begun eating her cheesecake when you suddenly asked her a question which caught her off guard.
“Erin, what if me and Joe break up? And that cheesecake was not meant for it to be eaten in one sitting.” You casually asked as you unlocked your phone to play one of the many games that you had installed.
“Huh? What in the world are you even talking about? And I'll just ask for another one.” She asked as she put her fork down to look at you.
“What if we break up and we don't work out? I literally just hopped from one relationship to another and…”
“Stop. Just stop. I have on my Christmas sweater and I am eating my Christmas treats you made me and we are listening to Justin Bieber's Under the Mistletoe and you are fucking the vibe up.”
“But…”
“No, we are not doing this. You two haven't been together very long, but Joe literally worships the ground you walk on. The way he even looks at you is insane. That boy is IN LOVE.” Erin said as she now opened the freezer to take out the ice cream you thought you were discreetly hiding from her, but it looks as though you efforts had failed.
“But what if it's too good to be true? Sometimes It doesn't even feel real.”
“You literally have no idea of what happiness looks like even if it hits you in the face. He has been after you basically the entire semester and now that he finally has you and you have him, you think that the two of you are going to end up breaking up? Make it make sense, babe.”
“Everything started out too good to be true with Trevor and look what happened with that.”
“Uh no, boo. Trevor had been an asshole from the beginning, it just took you forever and a day to notice. Everyone else saw it but you. You’ve been treated like shit for so long that your ass is literally blinded to how good you actually have it. I mean Joe hit me up a few weeks ago to help him pick out your Christmas gift or gifts I should say.”
“Wait, he did what?”
“Oops. I wasn’t supposed to say anything so let’s just pretend I didn’t. But they're really pretty and I know that you’re going to like it.”
“I just… he’s really important to me and I just want this to work out between us.”
“And it will. I literally started planning the wedding the day you two met because I saw the way you lit up when you talked about him. It’s going to work out and I will be the first person to say ‘I told you so’ when you are walking down the aisle.”
“I’m holding you to that seeing as it’s still pretty early to be singing about wedding bells.”
“But for now, it’s December, we almost made it through our first semester as college students, you have a very cute boyfriend who wants to spend every waking moment of the day with you so you need to make the most of it.”
“You’re right, I do need to make the most of it seeing as it’ll be a few weeks where we won’t see each other since he’s going back home.”
“And his birthday is coming up too. So, my vote is to have Christmas early with the two of you. Hopefully by doing this you won’t miss him so much on the actual day since the two of you kind of already celebrated in your own way.”
“I mean, I did get us matching Christmas pajamas to decorate our cookies, drink hot chocolate, and watch cheesy Hallmark movies.”
“See? Perfect. And I know that he is going to love every minute of it. But for now, I am going to go study for one of my many finals and hope and pray that the words on the pages in the textbooks somehow transfer themselves to my brain. Let me know how everything goes.” Erin told you as she wrapped up her cheesecake and placed it in a plastic bag hoping none of the filling would get on the seats in her car.
“Me saying ‘I told you so’ is going to hit so hard in a few years. But….” She was cut off mid-sentence as there was a knock on the door.
“And look at that, there he is. Let's go see your future husband.”
You couldn't help but to laugh and shake your head at Erin as she was gathering all of her things, while you went to go and answer the door. Once you did, you were met with your boyfriend carrying a shitload of different bags and him leaning down to kiss you.
“Okay, you two! Spare my eyes, I'm leaving so Joe can turn you every way but loose without me having to see it.”
“Bye, Erin.” Was all you said as she continued to smile at the both of you.
“Hi Joe, Bye Joe.” She told him as he fully walked into your apartment as she was headed out the door.
“Bye Erin.”
Once the two of you were by yourselves, you immediately started questioning Joe about the many bags he brought.
“Uh, babe? Are you moving in and didn't tell me yet?” You asked and he let out a laugh before starting to open some of them and pull out their contents.
“I just bought a bunch of different things we could do. It's almost finals week and I wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. And you have literally been playing this album since the day after Halloween.”
“Aww, I love it. Okay so tell me what you bought. And what about it!?” You asked as he had set everything down and motioned for you to sit down on the couch so he could show you.
“So my chess set. Ever since I taught you how to play, you said that you were going to try and beat me before the semester was over and never mind that I even said anything. Low key convinced that you're going to break up with me and get with Justin.”
“Very true but athletes are my thing, not singers.”
“My telescope since you love learning about space as much as I do. And I guess that means I'm safe?”
“I am loving this so far and yes, babe. You're safe.” You told him as you placed the chess set on the table.
“Madden. Since I know if you were able to be on the field with us, you would be. But I mean I can't sing all that well, but if you want me to serenade you just say the word.”
“Good point and seriously?” You replied while laughing.
“And I think that's it for now. I could only carry so much. But you'll be the one hitting high notes with how good I'm making you feel.” He told you as he shrugged while you gave him a small smile while also shaking your head at him.
“It's absolutely perfect and I have something for you too. I'm ignoring that last part.”
“What is it? Before the night is over, I'm making it happen.” Joe said as you ran into your bedroom to find the bag that they were in before coming back out into the living room.
“Matching Christmas pajamas.”
“Oh, so we're that type of couple now?” Joe teased as you rolled your eyes.
“Yes, and this is literally going to happen starting from this year until forever.” You replied as Joe moved closer towards you and put his finger underneath your chin in order for you to be able to look up at him.
“Forever? I like the sound of that.” He quietly said while leaning down to kiss you.
“But for now, we also have cookies to decorate that I baked and hot chocolate to drink.”
“Let’s do it.”
The two of you got comfortable in your pajamas before starting to decorate the cookies and you were multitasking with making the hot chocolate at the same time.
Joe was concentrating hard when you decided to peek over and take a look at what he was doing.
“Joey, I thought you were making a Santa cookie?” You asked while a little bit confused on what you were actually looking at.
“I am! This looks like Santa! I just need to do his beard.”
“And his hat.” You added noticing that was missing also.
“Not everyone can be an amazing baker in their spare time like you.”
“Hmm, you're right, but it doesn't look bad. If I opened my own bakery, I might hire you. I do happen to be a woman of many talents. So, someone mentioned to me that you got my Christmas gift already?”
Joe stopped decorating his cookie to look at you with a blank stare.
“No. I'm not telling you what it is and I am never telling Erin anything else ever again.”
“But babe!”
“No. Final answer.” Joe replied as you rolled your eyes at him which then led to him pinching your cheek.
“Fix your face. I want it to be a surprise and I don't plan on spoiling it for you.”
“Well I got you a gift for your birthday as well as Christmas. It didn't feel right combining both of them together.”
“And unlike my girlfriend, I'm going to be patient and wait.”
“You mean to tell me that you aren't the least bit curious about what I got you?” You asked him and you could tell he was thinking about his answer before he said it.
“Nope.”
“Liar. I know that you definitely want to know. But I'll just say I know that both of them are something that you're really going to love.” You told him as you reached up to kiss him.
“As much as I love you?”
“No, but knowing you it might come close.” You told him as you were now putting the final touches on the hot chocolate you made for the two of you and handed him his mug.
“And like I said, I'll be patient unlike some other people.”
“I'm ignoring you. Anyway, break out the telescope since it's clear tonight and we'll be able to see something.”
Once Joe had gotten the telescope set up by the window, you were just finishing your hot chocolate and went to place your mug in the dishwasher before going back into the living room and seeing Joe with a bashful smile across his face.
“Why are you smiling at me like that?” You asked while wrapping your arms around him and Joe leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead before responding to you.
“I'm about to show you. Stand in front of me and look through it. Don't adjust anything.” He said as he slowly turned you around so that you would be facing it.
You did as you were told and noticed that it was focused on one single star.
“I see it, babe. What's so special about it?” You asked as you turned back to look at him and he simply handed you an envelope.
“It's the star that I got named after us.”
Your eyes went wide and a smile broke out on your face as you took out the contents of the envelope and it simply said Y/N and Joey's Star at the top.
Underneath was a map detailing where you would be able to find it.
“So no matter where we are, whether together or apart. We can be able to look at it at the same time. This isn't a part of your Christmas gifts by the way, I just wanted to do it since I figured you would like it.” He shyly told you as the smile became wider on your face. You didn't say anything, but simply wrapped your arms around him once again.
“This was… no… this is definitely the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me. I honestly wouldn't have even been upset if this did end up being my Christmas gift. I love it and I love you which you already knew, but I figured that I would tell you anyway.” You quietly told him as he leaned down to place several kisses on your lips.
“And I love you. Remember earlier how you mentioned that matching pajamas are going to be a thing for us forever?” Joe asked and you gave him a swift nod.
“Mm hmm, what about it?”
“This is also going to be something that we have forever. Any time we get in a disagreement or we're not seeing eye to eye with each other, we need to remember that we're in this together for the long run. And looking up at the star can remind us of that. I know we haven't been together for very long, but I want this with you and I've been saying from day one how I'm going to treat you how you deserve to be treated.” Joe confessed and the smile on your face couldn't help but to get bigger.
“I'm going to hold you to that Burrow.”
“How about you hold me to this too? Look up for me?”
As you looked up, you saw that Joe was holding a mistletoe above the both of you.
“Any excuse to get more kisses from me, huh?” You playfully asked him and was met with a smirk.
“I mean, I've been getting kisses from the moment I got here, but this is just a plus.” He told you as he leaned down and you reached up to meet him halfway.
“And there will be many more where that came from.”
“Santa definitely did his big one this year.”
“How so?”
“I get to spend it with someone who I know cares about me just as much as I care about them. That's literally all I asked for.”
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eczlipse ¡ 2 days ago
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( 수빈 ) ─ 5:28 pm.
summary ; choi soobin, your tutor has had a significant yearning for you for a while. during a session, you seem to keep answering his questions wrongly- leading to you needing a break. what happens once he suddenly feels his jeans tighten during the session and becomes bold with you?
pairing & warnings ; tutor!soobin, fem!reader. dryhumping, smut, fingering, unsafe (no mention of protection), p in the v…
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you thought more about the question you’d been asked— “explain to me photosynthesis.” he repeated. your mind had gone blank, your tutor— soobin stared down at you. the way you tried to puzzle your thoughts together and questioned yourself. you were so clueless, so vulnerable he thought.
soobin quickly recognized your extreme confusion and spoke once more,
- do you want me to explain again?
in response, you hummed lightly waiting for him to continue. your exam had been coming up, the next morning would be d-day.
- photosynthesis is basically how plants make their food using sunlight, carbon dioxide, and water. they turn these into sugar for energy and release oxygen. it’s important because it helps plants grow and provides oxygen for us to breathe. okay?
you sighed and nodded, you felt down— why weren’t you understanding things as easily as every other student. your tutor could easily tell you’d been stressed, tense even. you’d been shaking you leg, fidgeting with your pencil. he gulped before speaking again,
- do you need a break ? we can talk about other things or, you should get a snack?
you slightly smiled at his attempts to help you. you nodded happily as you got up from your seat. walking away into your dorm room kitchen, finding only a bag of chips from days ago. you sighed and took them, at least it’s edible. what you hadn’t noticed was that, soobin had been staring you down as soon as you’d gotten up. the way your shorts slightly rode up, your hair swaying as you walked- he needed to calm himself down. before he could think more, you stopped his train of thought,
- hey, do you want anything? i only have some chips from like before yesterday. wanna share?
he pressed his lips together and nodded. you smiled at his expression as you brought yourself back to your initial seat, placing the bag of chips in between you both. at that, he dug his hands into the bag of chips taking a few.
although soobin was your tutor, he felt a significant yearn for you. he hated to admit it but, he kind of liked you. his close friends had told him prior to coming to your dorm to 'shoot his shot' and 'be bold'. that was in fact his plan tonight. he didn't specifically plan what he wanted to say, but he knew that he wanted you to know that he wanted you. at that, he stared at you intensely as you got up once more; washing your hands, and bringing yourself back to your seat. he loved your demeanour. he felt a sudden tightness in his pants— he couldn't help it anymore.
- what about i soothe you?
he blurted out, shutting his mouth quickly after spilling out such words. your head flicked over to his, 'did he really just say that?' you wondered.
- what do you mean?
you questioned. 'shit shit shit' was all he could tell himself. he needed to stay calm and collected, and more importantly ; 'seductive' as his friend yeonjun would say.
- i'll make your stress go away, yeah?
he gave you a significant look, hinting that his words meant more than they seemed. you knew what he meant and you were down for it. you couldn't help but admit that you felt things for him, while he would mansplain things to you, show you how things were done and more.
at that, you climbed onto soobin's lap straddling his thighs. he could feel the heat radiating off your body, the soft fabric of your panties brushing against the growing bulge in his pants. his hands instinctively went to your hips, gripping them tightly as you began to grind against him.
soobin let out a low groan, his hips bucking up to meet yours. The friction of your movements was driving him wild, his cock now fully hard and straining against his zipper. he slid his hands up your sides, under your shirt, his fingers splaying across the small of your back.
in a flurry of movement, soobin stood up, lifting you with him. he then, carried you over to the couch, laying you down gently on the soft cushions. he hovered over you, his eyes dark with lust as he took in the sight of you- your chest heaving, your lips parted, your legs slightly spread.
his hands roamed your body, caressing and squeezing, leaving trails of reddened marks on your skin. he tugged at your shirt impatiently, just long enough to yank it over your head and toss it aside.
soobin paused for a moment, drinking in the sight of you lying beneath him in just your bra and panties. his gaze was intense, filled with a raw, primal desire that made your heart race. 
— you're so beautiful.
he murmured, his voice filled with want. he leaned down, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone, down to the swell of your breasts. his fingers deftly unhooked your bra, tossing it away and freeing your breasts to his greedy mouth. he took one hardened nipple between his lips, suckling and swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud.
you arched into him, a loud moan escaping your lips as jolts of pleasure shot straight to your core. your hands fisted in his hair, holding him to your breast.
suddenly soobin's hand slid down your stomach, his fingers dipping beneath the waistband of your panties. he could feel the heat emanating from your core, the damp fabric- proof of your arousal. slowly, teasingly, he pushed your panties aside, his fingers brushing against your slick folds.
you gasped, your hips bucking up off the couch as his fingers made contact with your most sensitive spot. soobin groaned, feeling your wetness coating his fingers as he began to stroke your clit in slow, deliberate circles. his other hand continued to knead and massage your breast, pinching and rolling your nipple between his fingers.
— soobin, you panted, your voice high and needy please, i need more.
he withdrew his hand from your panties, bringing his fingers to his mouth. he licked them clean, his tongue savouring your essence. 
with that, he hooked his fingers under your panties and tugged them down your legs, tossing them away.
soobin quickly shed his clothes, revealing his lean, muscular body, his skin flushed and glistening. he then positioned himself between your spread thighs, his hard member jutting out. with a swift thrust of his hips, he buried himself deep inside your tightness, a groan tearing from his throat.
he began to move, withdrawing until just the tip remained inside you, before slamming back in, burying himself in you. he set a significant pace, the couch creaking beneath you with the force of his thrusts. your breasts bounced with each powerful drive of his hips, your moans mingling with his grunts and groans.
soobin then leaned down, capturing your mouth in a searing kiss, his tongue plundering and conquering, swallowing your cries of ecstasy. his hand slid between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit, rubbing the sensitive nub in tight, rapid circles. your inner muscles began to flutter around his pounded shaft, your body tensing up the more he touched you.
then, your back began arching off the couch cushions as your climax surged through you like a tidal wave. you let a final moan, your inner walls clamping down around soobin's driving length, as you came.
with a hoarse groan, soobin slammed into you one last time, burying himself to the hilt as his own peak hit. at the last second, he pulled out, his pulsing cock erupting. at that, his seed painted your stomach and breasts as he found his release, his body shuddering above you.
soobin then smirked at you before speaking once more,
— do you feel calmer now ?
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chongoblog ¡ 1 day ago
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You mentioned in a post a while ago an RPG maker game that was so bad it inspired you to start a project that could execute some of its ideas better (iirc), I read the post and immediately recognized the game you were talking about. It's always occupied a weird space in my mind as an oddity of a game that didn't really have any reason to exist, so if you don't mind i'd love to hear more of your thoughts on it.
The project has been on hold (like my 132476 other projects) but yeah!
So first of all I won't be sharing the name of this game because I don't wanna send unnecessary hate its way. Like, making a game and putting it out there is huge, and I'd hate to send a bunch of negativity towards it, and if I find that one of my followers went to it and review-bombed it, then I hold more contempt for that person than the people who made this game.
That said, the crux of the game was you were controlling the main character of the game, but the main character was aware of the fact that you are controlling their actions and as communicating with you about what you need to do. Not a bad concept. I really liked it! The problem came with execution.
There's a lot of specific parts of it that I could point to, but it can really be summed up by the opening. The girl wakes up and does the standard "whoa! what? why did I stand up like this? I-I didn't do that!!" and then a text box appears and responds to her saying "yeah, that was me". Then when you try to leave the hospital, the mc says "wait a minute, maybe we should inspect These Three Spots first!" and then the game turns you around, followed by the text box responding "ugh...fine....".
There are two big problems here in my mind. First of all, this powerful idea of you controlling the main character and the main character being aware creates this sort of connection between the player and the main character (one that I think we'll see more of as Toby releases more of Deltarune, although this game came out a few years earlier), and the issue is that when the game itself gives the player dialogue, that really undercuts it. Like, later in the story, the player dialogue flirts with the mc, which is something I know I wouldn't do as a player. So it's not so much that you're a player controlling the main character who is aware, but you're a player controlling a ghost that is controlling the main character, and the main character is aware of the ghost, but the ghost is not the player.
The second big issue is a lot more understandable because you have to tell a story, but it's very silly to have the main character go "oh my god you have control over my every action!!" and then when you try to leave an area early, the main characters says "no don't do that yet" and then disallows you from leaving the area.
Just to gush about my ideas for this, my project idea was to make all verbal communication be one-way, while finding other ways to communicate. For example, when the main character first wakes up, they realize "oh shit I'm not controlling my body!!" and then he says "alright, well weird ghost controlling me...I don't know what to call you....so tell you what, walk me over to that desk. There's a pen and paper. Use my body to write your name" which determines the name on your file.
But here's the fun part. Let's say you decide "no, I'm not gonna do that". You can just walk out of the room. If you do, the main character just goes "um...okay? Fine then. I'm gonna call you 'Jerkface'" and the name on your file is "Jerkface", and he calls you Jerkface for the rest of the game. (And maybe if you go back, he goes "oh? what's the matter? don't like being called Jerkface? what? does that seem kinda rude? impolite maybe? almost as impolite as just TAKING CONTROL OF MY BODY WITHOUT TELLING ME YOUR NAME FIRST????")
Needless to say, I have a lot of ideas for this, I just need to execute them, and for all my complaints towards this game, I absolutely respect that they made it happen.
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mamawasatesttube ¡ 2 days ago
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Janet lives au my beloved, I love the difference in the Janet lives vs the Jack lives au :)
Happy holidays! :D
thanks, happy holidays to you too!!!
also aughgh right??? there is so much to ponder wrt janet our collective beloved janet... i think often about this. like. his issues with jack would both shrink and grow because on the one hand jack is no longer actively around to do shit to feed into tim's many complexes. on the other hand, he now has jack up on the Perfect Dad pedestal in his mind because he's dead. can't criticize your dead dad that's fucked up and horrible. right?
and on the other hand. man. so lets posit he has a better relationship with janet than he would with jack (because janet is a better parent than jack, and let's be real, that isn't really a high bar. but given jack's... everything, i just kinda really get the vibe that he left most of the actual parenting to janet). now at first you'd think this is solely a good thing! ...but can you imagine how much more agonized tim is about having to lie to his beloved mommy???? all the time??? he's even more torn between The Mission and his filial piety this time around!!! augh!!!
like all those times jack didnt notice tim hiding bruises with makeup ? if janet's around it is sooo possible that tim steals HER makeup for this specifically at least once and She. Notices. deeply possible that she puts together "tim showing up with mysterious injuries he keeps trying to hide and also lying to me about it" with "tim getting closer with dick grayson and bruce wayne while i was away" and deduces that she doesn't know WHAT they've gotten her little baby boy into, but she IS going to kill those guys. tim keeps insisting that they're very nice to him but that really isn't helping anything. but just the entire concept of janet actually paying attention to tim's injuries - noticing if he steals her makeup!!! - or paying attention to things like. *checks notes* one of his classmates being SHOT DEAD at their SCHOOL ???? hey jack how did you not even check on him once after this. whats wrong with you. i just wanna talk jack
so i think she'd find out tim's robin way faster than jack. he probably would agonize about wanting her to know but The Mission and the need for secrecy, etc. but notably, when she finds out, i don't think she'd force him to quit - she'd really really want him to, because this is so dangerous and he's her baby and she doesn't want him to get hurt!!! but if he pushed back and tried to explain his side of it, she'd actually be willing to at least hear him out (unlike jack).
but also. not to be predictable but. i think it would be really funny if at some point during this drama kon-el shows up on the front doorstep looking for robin, and eavesdrops just enough to understand that janet knows now. because. hear me out. this is how we once again arrive at tim walking into his own house and home and just balking because kon is at the kitchen table hanging out with his mother. mom why the heck are you giving superboy my oreos!!!!
(also, calling back a little to the concept of baby kon somehow befriending janet, but. very specific vision in my mind of "janet lives past identity crisis too au" where at some point baby kon mentions to tim in her earshot that hes never had a mom and wonders whats it like?? and she doesnt say anything but this strikes her to the heart. several years down the line when timkon are established at some point she's like conner sweetie i know a long time back you said you don't have a mother, and i understand that completely and don't mean to try and take any place in your life you don't want me in, but if you ever would like to have a mother-in-law… and tim is just like. MOM. ARE YOU TRYING TO PROPOSE TO KON FOR ME??? THIS IS SO CRINGE. UGH MOM STOP)
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soft-pine ¡ 2 days ago
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@angelsdean: #i think cas is good at cutting thru the bullshit and just saying things succinctly (and often bluntly)#and i think he's a good listener and is also someone dean himself actually chooses to open up to#and often WANTS to talk to (unlike w/ sam)#but yea he's not giving dean a therapy session. cas is not the wise all-knowing master of emotion#it's all actually very new to him! he's still getting the hang of human stuff!#and sam. well. he's mr. projection and deflection boy#and pretty bad at his own emotional processing#and should in no way be giving out advice let alone playing Perfect Therapist (and often Queer Expert) Sam#like obvs ppl can write what they want forever and do as they please in fanworks#but when ppl conflate this specific tropey depiction of them w/ canon it gets annoying#bc they very much are not like that in canon
@ilarual: #they are all deeply traumatized people with a shit ton of issues#and they all NEED the space and security to be able to heal and grow#but that doesn't mean that ANY of them are equipped to be each other's live-in therapist#Cas is more emotionally intelligent than he gives himself credit for but he's not a particularly verbose communicator#likewise while Dean is absolutely a safe person for Cas to open up to it's not his responsibility to be Cas's therapist#in fact your partner is probably the absolute WORST person to try to play informal therapist#and the less said about Sam in the therapizing your family conversation the better
@shallowseeker: #cuts through bullshit#also good at communicating without fluff which is what dean tends to appreciate#a lack of artifice
@indistarlight: #he's very blunt which helps dean as its the opposite of literary fictional reference word vomit mixed with vulnerability encased in bravado#but his biggest speeches are all literally when he thinks he'll be too dead to deal with the aftermath#he is very good at showing empathy and care when he's present tho! which i think dean appreciates despite how much it disarms him
@im-some-lionheart: #also Dean is canonically the one out of the three of them who most often initiates emotional conversations..#It don't mean Sam and Cas wouldn't ask him about his feelings but rather that it's most likely Dean's gonna ask THEM first#also what I love about dean and cas' heart to hearts is that it's almost always a variation of:#Cas: how are you#Dean: fan fucking tastic#cas: doubt#dean: ok I'm not fine I'm actually crumbling#cas: *offers support in the form of a killer one-liner or a shared moment of comfortable silence*#Top tier chef's kiss dynamic 👌🏻#which is why fics where they have long open and honest conversations about their feelings always take me out of the story#I'm sorry but it's not just that he would not say that (and he wouldn't)#it's that he wouldn't say ALL OF THAT. These are emotionally stunned and deeply traumatized “straight” (allegedly) Men#have you ever TRIED to talk to a man about his own emotions????#that entire conversation needs to be filled with short sentences tense silences and half said stuff
i think the confession made people forget cas is not really a consistent verbal communicator/processor.
i just dont know if like the verbose and florid speech he'd held in for years and finally spilled on his deathbed is like the best roadmap for how he'd communicate on a random wednesday....
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gomzdrawfr ¡ 1 day ago
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Ask Game!
2, 7 and 14 for Le Ghost.
Also, *squish the Gomz*
you've earned yourself one Gomz laugh from that squish! *tackles you and give you a hug*
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
His height- man's built to put door head to shame (I think that's what it's called, like the top part of the door??) If he would come to Malaysia he would be cursing and grumbling all the way because he has to bend his head down every time he goes through a door WHEEZE
Idk if it's canon but like, Mr DIY skull guy yeah. That. Me Like.
7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?
ohhhhhhhhhhhh I'm a big sucker for cat dad!Ghost....or just Ghost being gentle to animals (that one short drabble where Ghost takes a card to scoop up a spider and placing it on the window, gently shooing the lil long leg bug out) OH YEAH AND ALSO when Ghost talks to animal in his usual tone like he's talking to another person, love it A+++ I eat that shi up
or just Ghost being...being a guy really. None of that daddy big dom scary ooo touch me and I'll fucking dice ya vibe (I mean I like that occasionally) but just him being depicted as normal. Just kind of make him more human and I like that.
14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.
Gonna be honest with you Father I just think he's just the regular "Im tired of this shit" bloke LOL (that one robert pattinson pic) Idk if there's a name for it bcuz I just go "homeless fit" in my head AKSDJFHZKSFJH my vision of his closet:
same sets of hoodies and pants (they're all the same but somehow he knows which ones' are for Monday, Wednesday and Sunday)
thick jackets
that one specific shredded t shirt with a heavy metal band on the front, only worn once
1 hat he stole from Price (it has a fish on it)
so. many. socks- (it's all filled up in the small bedside drawer)
the mini gym drawer with compression shirts
the furthest, deepest part of his closet that has a set of suits and a card hanging off it with a lipstick stain on it (mysterious flink wink wink)
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sunsetcdiscs ¡ 2 days ago
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Grr.. i love discussions about the normalization of bad things for teenagers/ kids, whether it be fictional or real. Esp as someone who has had that happen 2 me
And i think it's smth that's very prevalent in ctommy's story.
C!tommy is chaotic on his own, so in a way he already had violence somewhat normalized? And I think all these little things add up to how he later treats his relationships w others, and specifically what actions he's willing to let others get away with.
There are, ofc, Loads of things that later normalize violence even more (wars, all the conflicts in general). But in my opinion, one of the biggest things that normalizes violence that is Specifically Towards c!tommy, was the fight in the pit w c!techno. C!techno beat c!tommy to a pulp, all the while c!wilbur was cheering and egging him on in the back.
Then ofc exile rolls around, and c!dream literally hits him w an axe right in the first vod. But that's okay, it's not like violence is Unusual, right? He goes through that week not questioning every time c!dream hits him, only questioning why he has to give up his stuff (<- this is smth that's never really talked about when ppl discuss ctommy's sentimentality for objects ? When rewatching the exile vods, i genuinely don't think there was a moment where ctommy went "hey, why are u hitting me?" it was always just "hey, why are u taking the stuff that I worked hard for?").
And then he runs away but ends up living with Mr. " ''minor'' terrorism". Can you see how that really wouldn't be good for c!tommy? Then when they go to l'manburg, it Allll piles up and c!tommy ends up hurting c!fundy and c!connor.
I've seen ppl before say that they ignore this lore moment bc it doesn't make sense, but to me it makes So much sense? Ofc a teenager who is constantly and consistently surrounded by a violent environment/people is going to be influenced by it? Ntm ppl say that they love c!tommy bc he's an imperfect character, and is this not a big part of what makes him imperfect?
One of the biggest reasons Why c!tommy left c!techno was because he realized it was further normalizing violence. Because he realized that He didn't want to be violent anymore
("Techno, if this is what I've become, then I don't wanna be me anymore, man."
"I'm worse than everyone I've hated- I'm worse than everyone I didn't wanna be *looks at cdream*").
C!tommy's talk with c!connor at the end of the community house destruction stream will always be So important to me
("For what it's worth, Tommy, I don't know what went on today, but- Even though you kidnapped me and I'm still kinda dealing with a bit of the trauma, I think that at the end of the day; you're just a conflicted person, not a bad person." SCREAMING VRYING THEOING UPP)
And a convo that's even More important to me, is the one w c!sapnap near the start of the doomsday stream, where c!tommy acknowledges that what he did was Bad, and that it was because of influence from the environment around him
("Sapnap, I'm so sorry, that you did that, and that I made you do that because.. it wasn't right of me. And I-I shouldn't... I shouldn't take out.. ANY of the fucked up shit thats happened to me o- on other people, and I'm sorry." AUGHHHHHHH CTOMNYYY VTOMYYY AJAN)
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mulders-too-large-shirt ¡ 2 days ago
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s5 episode 20 thoughts
last episode of the season!!!
things have seemed… tense lately between my best friends mulder and scully. i hope they can work it out. 
anyway, it says here that there is a boy with psychic powers… another child case. they deal with these so often!!!
but maybe he can unlock the secrets of the x files?? how?? i guess i will have to tune in!
post-episode thoughts: scully, i want to hug you. CSM, count your days. destroying information is a crime in my realm, and it will be punished with banishment. mulder, you need to learn how to talk about your feelings. i am no longer suggesting this politely. it must be done. now. skinner, you are the star on top of my metaphorical christmas tree. spender, my feelings towards you are pretty neutral.
we begin in vancouver, where a chess tournament is going on between a grown man and a child. there is a very large crowd and a guy who seems to be up to no good in the ceiling. 
the kid hears voices in his head as this sniper loads up a bullet… can he figure out what is about to happen?? but the voices just sound like weird noises!!!
noooo, don’t kill this little boy!!! he wins just in time, stands up, and the bullet hits the other guy!!! 
so he knew it was going to happen and won just in time to stand up…
leave this little boy alone!! don’t piss me off!!!
OHHH shortened intro AND new words on the screen today… “THE END” <- now there is a movie coming up shortly so i KNOW this is a lie!!!
i am preparing myself for some sort of cliffhanger….
ohohoho kryek is here today, according to the “guest starting” list…. getting ready for some rat-like activities
CSM is buttoning up his shirt as some people arrive upon his frosty property. they have guns… and his alarms are going off… 
BLAM! he shoots one man dead right then and there!! you really cannot underestimate this guy!!! unless we’re talking about his abilities to write fiction!!!
so he’s running barefoot into the snow??? yowch! bloody feet!
the guy in the mask catches him! OH SHIT! IT’S KRYCEK!! “go on! take your shot, alex” <- HOT DAMN! not the first name usage!
he says he was sent to being CSM back…….. by whomst?
there is a sticky note on mulder’s poster. i can’t tell what it says!
OH mulder has a picture of him and scully pinned to his board🥹that's fine that's super fine and i'm not gonna cry!
it’s skinner poking around their office!!! what is he doing down here??
HE WANTS TO KNOW MULDER’S LONG TERM PLANS?! and mulder says they’re right in his hands, referring to the x files
skinner loves his most special and difficult agents. it's true!
“what do you hope to find? i mean, in the end” (mulder looks at skinner suspiciously) “whatever i hope to find is in here. and maybe i’ll know when i find it”
now what is going on…..? something is afoot. somehow i doubt skinner just got randomly curious and started reading through the x files for the funsies.
skinner has a case for him: the assassination of a russian chess player. and agent spender was put in charge of the case by someone from OUTSIDE the bureau!! oh, that must be what has skinner so freaked out. who tf is just putting people in charge of cases?
(i mean, we, the audience, know the answer to this. but if i were skinner, i would be deeply uncomfy at the thought)
“he was very specific that you be excluded” (mulder smiles) lmaoooo
skinner's messy for that!!! and i giggled!!!
BAHAHA scully is in the room listening to spender debrief, and when mulder walks in, spender looks SO mad!! “please continue”, mulder says, after spender gets so caught off guard by seeing him that he literally cannot finish his sentence
you can try to separate mulder and scully, but the universe will find a way to reunite them. like a bonded pair of kitties. 
mulder asks him to rewind the tape and spender says basically no LMAOOO
“let me get through this, if you have any questions, we can talk later” “i-i don’t have any questions, no, i just think you’re wrong” <- LMAOOOOOO i’m at once giggling and cringing in second hand embarrassment 
mulder hates this dude, i'm crying!!!!
scully asks wtf mulder is doing, and he explains he thinks the killer was aiming for the boy!! spender reluctantly does rewind the tape, and mulder points out that the kid pushes back right before the bullet is fired. 
who is this random lady agreeing with mulder that the kid could sense the bullet coming…? he looks utterly shocked to hear her say this!!
and skinner says rewind it again so we can all see for ourselves LMAO everyone hates this spender mfer
(listen. sorry to this man, but i think it would also piss me off if some random guy got put in charge of an investigation because outside forces decreed it to be so)
sure enough, when spender rewinds the tape, the kid looks right at the camera!!! mulder turns to this random woman again in amazement 
meanwhile, krycek is bringing CSM back to the syndicate on a random side street. OH SHIT!! CSM calls them out right then and there for trying to kill him LMAOOO
that had to be awkward as hell! i'm giggling
CSM moves on from that pretty fast. he seems like the type to hold grudges, so perhaps this is part of his secret plot for revenge.
the well-groomed man (and i know that isn’t his name, but i can’t remember what it actually is, and when i tried to google it last time i got spoilers so: to me, he is WGM) says: the boy is a problem to us!! and i say: leave him alone!! let him play chess!!
CSM offers to kill the kid and well-groomed man says “dear god”... umm, well y’all were just trying to do that, so why now are we getting squeamish...!!!
this other dude is called “first elder” by the subtitles! good to know
CSM says he’ll do it… and walks off.
so this lady that was sticking up for mulder is named agent fowley, and scully is making polite small talk as mulder drives them... somewhere. she requested reassignment. hmm…
“1991, that’s about when you started work on the x files”, scully points out. “more or less, yeah”, mulder says. and does not elaborate.
(long lingering eye contact between mulder and fowley)
now… is this woman who i think she is……?
the boy (named gibson) is watching the simpsons. OH SHIT!!! “my name is fox… this is dana and diana”
SHE IS WHO I THOUGHT SHE WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh man. oh man. okay, so i know a tiny bit about this. going bonkers rn.
what i DO know is enough to realize that diana is a controversial topic among the fandom, but i vow to speak my truth. as i always do. and i hope you will treat me with the grace you typically have afforded me.
gibson says he lives in the philippines, that mulder has a dirty mind, and he does NOT want to play any chess. yes, he truly is a psychic.
scully is like wtf is he going on about…. and mulder accuses the boy of being able to read minds
“i know what’s on your mind. i know you’re thinking about one of the girls you brought” (mildly amused scully look) “one of them’s thinking about you”
diana laughs and asks which one… gibson says mulder doesn’t want him to say.
(shakes head) hey! what’s going on?
mulder declares that gibson needs around the clock protection
oh, a canon-typical fight in the hallway between our agents on if this is possible or not… diana is listening in…. “you know what to do, diana”, mulder says before leaving <- hey. i don’t like that. the tone with which he speaks nor the implication of there being some pre-scully lilith-like figure.
“so you two know each other”, scully points out. “it was along time ago” (long lingering scully glance)
OHHHH spender is NOT letting mulder talk to the assassin… “you’re insulting me when you should be taking notes”, he says <- DAMN!!! the ego on this man! he isn't entirely wrong, but there is no humility about him!
he pushes past spender and gets into the cell, where the shooter claims spender hasn’t given him food or water. mulder orders him off to go get some. 
ohhh he’s playing hardball… he tells the dude that he’ll tell spender he fessed up to the kid being psychic… and if he cooperates with him, maybe he can get him into the witness protection program… does mulder hold this kind of influence?
mulder steals the food that was being brought for him. mulder! you're being a dick! on many fronts!
AWWW, scully and gibson are holding hands as she walks him down the hall :( he didn’t like the tests! poor kid! and he says scully’s wondering about “that other girl” and “she’s wondering about you, too” 
hey…. i get the sense we are pitting two bad bitches against each other via this little boy's mind reading. not a narrative choice i am fond of.
now a group of people are testing gibson for psychic abilities by holding up cards only they can see.
diana says she’s seen clairvoyants, but never of this skill level. she says she spent time with mulder is psychiatric hospitals?? scully.exe is not working 
she has to leave because she is weirded tf out…
(i don't blame her, though. i would also be very weirded out if my partner of 5 years had another partner he very evidently has a history with and never bothered to mention until she suddenly materialized. if i were scully, i'd be like hey mulder... remember all those times i tended to your wounds and held your sobbing body and broke the law for you? yeah, that was super cool. i love how we trust each other. anyway, wtf else are you hiding from me?)
((and i'm not saying that is necessarily the RIGHT or RATIONAL thing to feel, but c'mon. you can't look at me and tell me you wouldn't also be equal parts stung and curious))
shooter guy is being handed a note. it’s on a cigarette pack!!! and it says "you’re a dead man"!!! oh brother... not the CSM on the loose! how is he getting into these buildings still?!?!
LMAOOO???? WHAT IS SCULLY DOING WITH FROHIKE?!?!
look at her looking up into his camera system... she is just so PRETTY!!
bro is in his pajamas and has an absurd number of locks on his door. and i'm giggling!
she’s bringing the whole crew scans of gibson’s brain!! “and you want us to what?” “analyze the data. with an eye to the parapsychological” <- OHHH they’re gagged by that... and i am too! scully opening herself up to extreme possibilities?! or simply trying to anticipate and counter mulder's argument in favor of the kid's clairvoyance?
OHHHH.... SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHO TF DIANA IS LMAOOOOO 
i can’t tell if she’s jealous, or nosy, or both. but i can tell you that i love when scully is nosy. 
frohike says she was mulder’s “chickadee” (LMAO, crazy phrasing) out of the academy. she was with him when he discovered the x files. and she has some sort of background in parascience. whatever that means.
NOOOOO scully looks so sad 💔💔💔 MULDER, DON’T HIDE THINGS FROM HER!!! SHE’LL CRY
stop. stop!!!
gibson is watching cartoons while diana watches him. and here comes mulder. OH, she called him fox. don’t like that. i thought he was adamantly anti-being referred to as fox! is that a development from the past 5 years, or does she not care about what he thinks?
“i sense you could have used an ally, though- someone who thinks like you, with some background” HEY. WATCH HOW YOU TALK ABOUT SCULLY!!!
“oh, you mean scully?” now is that defensiveness i see in his eyes? he doesn’t sound like he’s laughing.
“she’s not what i’d call an open mind on the subject” <- well, diana, you don’t even know her!!! and just because you're right doesn't mean you should go around judging her!
he laughs, but it doesn’t feel like he really means it….
(i was trying to psychoanalyze everything in this godforsaken scene and i had NO idea what the vibe actually was LMAOOOO)
“she’s a, uh… she’s a scientist. she just makes me work for everything” <- HEY!!! what happened to her being “rigid, but in a wonderful way”??? defend her honor in her absence!
“yes, but i’m… i’m sure there were times when two like minds on a case would have been advantageous” <- well girl, from what i've heard, it sounds like you left and went to germany!
“i’ve done okay without you” okay. are we setting boundaries now? is this progress?
NO. it does not appear that this is the case. she is grabbing his hand. “hey. i’m on your side” side eye. from me. sounds like she is implying scully is NOT on his side, which i loathe. and please don’t kiss... i don’t want to see all that. 
where is scully going….? OH NO!!! she walked by and saw them holding hands!!
oh my god, she is leaving….. and i don’t blame her!!
the sad music!!!! stop!!!!! look at her sadly getting in her car!!!!! sadly staring at the wheel!!! sadly buckling up!!!! 
she sounds like she’s going to cry as she calls mulder and says she wants to show him something. and she doesn't want to show it to him there.
now why is agent spender rolling up as she heads out?! we have enough problems to deal with at this time that aren’t him!!!
OH SHIT!!! CSM IS TALKING TO HIM!!!! saying he gave him the case!!!!
he’s trying to give him some fatherly advice despite the fact this dude has no idea they are related. “you’re a bright boy” okay… well that is certainly an avuncular thing to say. perhaps uncomfortably so when coming from a guy you literally just met. “know which men to sacrifice and when” <- now that's some standard CSM advice.
OH SHIT!!!!!!! MULDER SEES HIM!! CSM retreats into the shadows. “i was told he was dead”, mulder pants. “well obviously whoever it is, he’s not” spender has literally no idea who tf this guy is………..
(laughing even harder at his response as i edit my notes. spender must think this mulder fellow is the weirdest dude alive)
i’m kinda laughing, because spender has no idea wtf is going on, while mulder’s world just got rocked upside down and inside out. that’s the devil that killed his dad and took his scully and killed scully’s sister!!! he thought the evil was defeated and it is back!!! poor spender is just here to chat with a stranger. he truly doesn't know anything about the situation! it's comical!
scully and mulder and all of spender’s team are in skinner’s office!!! she has the brain test results from gibson… and she is finding the results hard to believe…
something something about him having intense brain activity in the god something or other. maybe he is the next einstein??? well, that would be cool! yeah, get the little boy into nuclear physics!
but mulder thinks that maybe this intense brain activity will allow him to also explain all sorts of unexplained phenomena. 
i guess i can see the correlation between intense brain activity and psychic abilities, but how will it let him explore the jersey devil?
mulder proposes giving the killer immunity to explain wtf is going on, which spender immediately shoots down: “you want to give a murderer a free ride for the secrets to the pyramids?” <- well that is an oversimplification!
ANGRY SCULLY!!! “you mischaracterize what i’ve said” <- GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME!! “this would be quantifiable scientific proof of everything that agent mulder and i have investigated over the past five years”
i don’t really see the correlation from a plot perspective but okay ❤️ yay ❤️
oh diana, i am suspicious of you…. “how do you quantify the spiritual? it can’t be done. you ask for immunity for a killer on that basis, the attorney general’s gonna go off. you’re allowed to investigate the x files as an indulgence. but draw the wrong kind of attention and they’ll close you down”
okay………… rude. but not necessarily wrong. in fact, she seems quite right, at least about the attorney general shutting down the case part. clearly, some levels of spirituality can be quantified if the results show up on brain scans; scully will use science to find a way. scully glances at mulder, who is staring at diana
“put an end to all your work. something i happen to have an interest in myself” WELL NO ONE ASKED???? girl! it isn't your project!!
perhaps i am the one who will need immunity from the attorney general as i bravely ask the question i am thinking: am i bad feminist, or is diana supposed to piss me off?
scully’s watching mulder stare at diana……. skinner says, everyone go take a break. but you may absolutely NOT leave my office, mulder. 
he says that diana is right. if they poke around too much they’ll get shut down- but mulder is willing to risk it!!!!!
“if what agent scully’s found is true- and i have every reason to believe that it is- then the answers i might have spent a lifetime searching for may fall together like a million puzzle pieces” <- OHH!! FAITH IN SCULLY!! FAITH IN SCULLY GIVING HIM THE TRUTH!
“you’d risk the x files?”, asks skinner.
“how soon can you call the attorney general?” 
so, there is your answer.
mulder is always having some sort of power struggle with skinner. hey. can mulder, buddy. can we use a "please" and "thank you" every now and then? your old pal skinner has put up with a LOT of your nonsense!
bro is in his cranky era.
ohhhh, so he goes and tell the shooter that he gave his request for immunity, but the attorney general needs more information before she can make a decision… “i need answers from you” UH OH!! will he have them before CSM breaks in? because we know he is stalking his prey!
he says the kid is a missing link; he’s genetic proof. spender wants to know of what, and this is very convenient, because so do i. so he thinks the kid is part alien….. spender is heckling him for this. but CSM is on the prowl… we don't have time for interpersonal conflict!
(so, maybe he's part alien but distantly? or maybe they made one of the alien hybrids like emily, but this one didn't die? why did emily die, again? because we know there are plenty others of the alien hybrids because they had that whole bit about saving "their mothers" back in... i think it was s3? maybe a bunch of them, like emily, die, but some of them do survive, and gibson is a son of the half alien? so he is a quarter alien? or maybe he is from a different alien race?
everything is a bit foggy when it comes to mytharc, i suppose. i guess it all comes down to the writers wanting to torture my best friend agent scully)
well-groomed man and krycek pull up to heckle CSM, which is an important part of their job description. they’re saying he failed them, but CSM says it’s all part of the plan. take their pieces one by one. 
hey, you’re gonna kill the kid, aren’t you?
at least JFK was a grown man!!!
do you think he bulk ordered the cigarettes from like, the cigarette equivalent of sam’s club, and had them sent to his snowy canadian hideaway? i mean, the number he goes through, it should have raised some red flags for the people trying to find him!
scully is watching the boy watch cartoons. she is pondering. 
“how do you do it?” “i just hear you thinking… like on a radio. and sometimes there are lots of radios, and i want to shut them off and watch some TV” <- you know what, that is entirely understandably.
gibson says that scully doesn’t care what other people think… “except for her. the other one”
is she trying to impress diana…..? has she moved beyond vying for people's approval after the horrors of cancer and emily, or is it manifesting in a new way as she hopes this mysterious figure from mulder's past will approve of her? does she think that if diana likes her, mulder will let her in about his past? does she feel a solidarity despite their differences in belief because of the fact they are both women in a male-dominated field?
the implications... i must explore them.
ah. and in diana comes. 
scully says they’ll talk about that stuff later. queen of knowing the time and place to have a debrief. and he says “they want to kill me” OHHH poor little gibson :( just let him watch cartoons!
scully promises no one will hurt him :( and he says “i know you do" :(
is diana going to kill the kid…..?
(author's note: LMAO!! listen... i thought they were going with the double agent angle for about 2 minutes. in my defense, i'm still shocked from the whole krycek and marita thing, so i'm trying to expect the unexpected. this is not the most wildly incorrect plot point i have guessed!)
the shooter gets another note…  this time it’s an empty cigarette carton, and BAM!!! CSM SHOOTS HIM!!!
well. there goes any possibility of an explanation.
diana fell asleep watching gibson and he’s looking out the window!!! he says there’s a man with a gun!!! and he says he’s aiming at her!!!! and BAM!! she gets shot too!!
hey guys! once again i ask what’s going on.
mulder and scully are pulling in while diana gets taken into an ambulance. and mulder’s grasping her hand while scully just wants to know where tf the kid is!!!!
the shooter was killed!!! skinner shows mulder the cigarette carton!!!!! 
NOOOO!! CSM has the boy and is bringing him to the well-groomed man. gibson called him a liar when he said he won't get hurt.
“you’ve never had the stomach for our business”
“just not for your practices”
“i’m a necessity. the complement to your cowardice” <- omggg……..
the dichotomy between CSM and well-groomed man... were the girls writing old man yaoi back when this aired? because i bet they would if this show dropped now.
(i was about to joke that if we all work really hard now, we can make that ship trend, but how tf can you write romantic fanfiction between two nameless characters? yeesh. that has to be a pain. "the well-groomed man moved in closer towards the cigarette smoking man, inhaling his burnt, acidic scent; he knew he was as bad for him as the cancer coursing through the other man's bloodstream" <- yeah, i didn't enjoy typing that, and it isn't fun to read either)
“your work is done now” SO WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO TO THE BOY???
“my work is just beginning” nope. do not like that. 
well-groomed man leads gibson into the car driven by krycek, who says he has a nice straight shot at CSM!!! but well-groomed man says not to shoot. you may need him in the future.
krycek is the last man i would trust with a child.
WOAHHHHH mulder is ATTACKING SPENDER saying he will get him PROSECUTED FOR MURDER!!! “you’re wrong, agent mulder, it’s your days that are numbered” <- NOW WHAT DOES *THAT* MEAN??
is he collaborating with daddy to kill mulder or lead him down an incredibly intricate path leading to his peril?!?
NOOOOO, skinner is on the phone with scully in mulder’s apartment 💔 spender is going after mulder and there are talks of reassignment!
his first question when she gets off of the phone is about diana….
NOOO, the justice department wants to close down the x files 💔💔
mulder says this is all part of plan he couldn’t see and walked into
“this time they may have won” NOOOOO💔💔💔💔you have to find some faith!
CSM is in mulder’s office………. looking at the files….. PICKING OUT THE ONE ON SAMANTHA………… WHERE IS HE TAKING IT???
TO SPENDER?!! “who are you?” “i’m your father” <- YOOO, I DIDN’T THINK HE WOULD JUST OUT AND SAY IT??
DID HE LIGHT ALL THE OTHER FILES ON FIRE???
HOLY HELL, HE DID???
mulder is here in his t shirt and scully is here in a lab coat and they find their whole office burnt to a crisp!!!!
she grabs his arms and leans in, putting her head on his chest as he looks around in fury
woah…. woaugh……….
the end.
CSM ruined the work of their whole lives!!!
this is why archivists are so important. because they always keep files saved on at least 3 sources. inshallah the good FBI archivists had them on a bunch of floppy disks. please please please.
(i started to type “on a bunch of flash drives”, but then i realized idk if those were popular, effective, or invented at the time. and a floppy disk really couldn’t hold much. maybe there is a huge cardboard box in one of the back rooms with all of them backed up! i like the ones that were colorful!)
well, now there’s a damn movie i need to watch!!! but first i have to get all of my s5 content sorted out!!!!
i have many questions. i have a terrible feeling that poor boy is gonna end up another sacrificial lamb. and i know that CSM saved the file on samantha to keep the fire burning beneath mulder, just enough so he meets his dastardly plans. damn. this guy really is an evil genius. which does not translate to literary talent.
what is spender going to do? is he going to believe that CSM is his father? will he follow him in dastardly deeds, or will he reject them? i mean, he sure isn't a believer in aliens like mulder is, so learning his father is basically a diplomat to the alien people isn't going to go over well. or is he going to stand up to daddy and save the day, probably nobly sacrificing himself in the process?
what about scully? i just KNOW she blames herself for gibson getting kidnapped because she promised him he would be safe, and she's all torn up about mulder hiding things from her!!! poor scully!
and mulder, what is he going to do about the reappearance of diana and then her sudden death or near-death? will he stop being so cranky anytime soon? it doesn't seem likely, but a girl can hope.
and i wanna know what is going through skinner's mind, too. because he really is like an uncle to me. i remember my earlier posts about not trusting him, and i think that narrative was intentionally cultivated by the writers, but now i'm thinking, man. that's my ride or die. skinner, i should have never doubted you. not only that, i love your little house buddha and desk globes and i wish i could slap mulder across the face for the way he acts towards you!
well, i have a lot of work to do with the s5 wrapups before i can dive into this film, and so work i must. and perhaps i will save the film for next weekend when i can focus appropriate attention.
i also expect that the movie writeup will be VERY LONG. and my writeups are already SO LONG. i tossed around the idea of splitting it up into parts, but i think it will be better to just do it all in one go. unless there is a very clear midpoint spot where i can divide the post in two, which i doubt???
will diana grow on me? will the movie be enjoyable? will scully get a damn break? will CSM and WGM kiss? will krycek continue to be a problematic bisexual?
hmm. well, stay tuned, and share all of your thoughts!
#mulder is being emo because he's in one of his Moods and scully is being emo because mulder keeps secrets#gibson is sitting there like damn. i don't wanna know all of your drama. please let me watch king of the hill.#and you do have to respect him for having his priorities straight#i hope some conflict is resolved in this film. i hope conversations are had about feelings#i once made a post on my main account about how too many action movies use “the world is gonna blow up!” as the high stakes#instead of cultivating the relationships between the characters that cause the audience to even give a damn IF the world is to blow up#why should i care if the world is gonna explode if the characters that need to stop the exploding are flat and have no growth?#an honest conversation between two characters that expresses their emotional investment in each other is what will make me care#if the world blows up or not. not high stakes for the sake of high stakes. NO. THAT DOES NOT WORK!#but high stakes as they relate to our characters having something to lose is what works. something worth fighting for. you feel me?#i worded that post really well back when i made it sometime last year and of course it was about an entirely separate thing#but i find that can happen a lot in action movies. hopefully it won't happen here though! i have faith.#i'll have to dig that post up now because i want proof that once upon a time i was articulate#anyway!!! dun dun dun! final boss music is playing as we approach the FILM!#but don't get too excited! i have to make all my other s5 wrapup posts first!#juni's x files liveblog#5x20#the x files#txf
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theredpharaoah ¡ 2 days ago
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Reading comprehension is at an all time low. You way too in your feelings over my lil Merthur post. Fanfiction wasn’t part of my argument brain trust. I brought that up in regards to her finding out about Merthur from TikTok. I never said anything about fanfiction providing evidence for this ship in the show. No one knows their character better than the actors and they interpreted their characters as being attracted to one another. The writers also interpreted it that way. Where was I nasty to Gwen? I’ve never had a problem with Gwen. I’m a fem black individual myself - I loved Gwen. I wanted them to do more with her and they did not. I literally stated that just as Merthur is the dominant ship in the fandom, Morgwen is right there next to it.
Ok, let’s talk about Gwen and Arthur’s marriage….it ain’t shit to say cuz it gave nothing. It was boring, stale, and Arthur never seemed to care for her as much as he did Merlin. And I never said Gwen and Arthur’s relationship was fake. The OP said that BOTH Merlin and Arthur liked Gwen. Which is why I specifically said that Gwen and Merlin’s little bit of attraction in season 1 gave “girl falls in love with gay boy because she thinks he’s sweet and charming”.
Pump the brakes. Who the fuck is going ”uwu”? I am not one of these lil smol bean bitches you used to dealing with on this app. We could meet up in real life and see what you really about, trust. You have a difference in opinion and that’s fine, but you ain’t have to come up in here being disrespectful. Furthermore, I didn’t diminish, replace, insult or ignore Gwen. But if I wanted to do that, I damn sure would do that and ain’t shit you could or would do about it. Know that.
Now on to the next one:
Nobody ever said or thought “Arthur was just using Gwen for her womb”. Please keep your assumptions and bullshit to the people you know and not me. I never said the authors didn’t write that they were in love. They TOLD us that on multiple occasions. But when it comes to writing it’s better to show and not tell. If you have to do the latter then usually there’s something wrong with the writing. The subtext(because yes, that does exist. Shocking I know.) reads Merthur. And that makes sense since that was what the writers intended. There’s some shit on one of the Blue rays where a writer literally says it’s a love story between two men. It’s as platonic as Xena and Gabrielle. I said Gwen doesn’t have chemistry with anyone and I was mostly talking about Merlin and Arthur. But no I don’t think she had much chemistry with anyone because I don’t think her character was ever developed all that greatly to begin with. She’s a side character. This whole conversation is hilarious because you two are both working off of these crazy ass assumptions. The main one seems to be that I’m some white person when I’m not only black and fem, but an anthropologist and philosopher who primarily studies race/gender and spirituality religion - specifically in relation to black peoples mostly. My entire life revolves around me being black and fem. So go on ahead and miss me with all this “all the white boy characters are just so lovable” shit, cuz that was never in my thought process. Again, never stated that the Merthur subtext was diminishing anything. I simply stated that it was clear that Merthur was the ship of the show. And again, the writer and I believe Katie said on the season 5 tape that the show was a love story between Merlin and Arthur. I never lied about the canon material. I stated how I saw Merlin and Gwen’s relationship in season one. You are attributing a bunch of shit to a short and quick post that was never even stated. Again, where is it even implied I said omegaverse fanfiction was canon? I specifically brought that up in relation to her saying she learned about Merthur from TikTok. It was the usual “Yall wasn’t there in the trenches with us” type of statement. Both you sorry ass hoes need to learn how to read. Maybe print out the post next time and annotate it or something. Idk. Yall are referring to a bunch of shit that was never said by me. Both of you are working entirely off of assumptions about me that are not at all true. The first fool said some “uwu ships wars are dumb” shit and you over here talking about white boys and “we gays”. Keep it cute cuz I’m definitely the bitch to make it ugly. I am NOT one of them smol bean bitches. Metaphorically speaking; the only trigger warning you gon get from me is the sound of the bullet firing.
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You started with a good premise but now I think you’re actually insane. Merlin and Arthur had tension from day one. I was a child and I knew they were gay for one another. Gwen didn’t have chemistry with anyone - least of all Merlin. Merlin wasn’t interested in Gwen at all. Season 1 read as when the girl falls for the gay boy cuz he’s so nice and sweet. The actors shipped Merthur. The writers shipped Merthur and they wanted the fandom to ship Merthur. The only reason they probably didn’t explicitly put it in the show was because of the time we were in. The writers and fandom have always been gay af. Because right next to Merthur is Morgwen and after that, Gwen/Lancelot. This is not at all an example of what you’re talking about. Also, TikTok? Did you just start watching the show? Watch it again please. And then watch it another time. Like we were reading/writing Merthur fanfic in 2008. I was on mf livejournal reading A/B/O dynamics Merthur fanfics. Hello??!!! Like maybe it’s because I’ve been in this fandom for over a decade - Merthur was my first fandom - but I’m literally so affronted and flabbergasted. How do you even-
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eachuisge-cc ¡ 2 days ago
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Catsim Lore Thing
Because a few people have asked and that's all the excuse I need to unleash my highly specific brand of neurodivergence on you all. A lot of the non-world-related stuff is lifted/tweaked from my much more in depth cathar headcanon masterpost that I made over on my other blog, because I've been developing those a lot longer and I'm fairly consistent in how I like to operate when it comes to fantasy cat people.
Obviously this is just things I've made up for my own save and what I have in mind when I make cc for them, and nobody else has to care about it. It's just for fun. If you don't like my take on them then forget you ever saw this and do whatever you want. There's no wrong way to use the feline cc well, except reuploading it or paywalling content you've made with it. that is the wrong way to use it.
But I love this shit so you're gonna hear about it anyway.
If you want to make your own or plop some into your world, CC and premade cat townies can be found here.
Biology
They’re not cat/human hybrids or some kind of magical experiment, they’re taxonomically just cats. More specifically they’re a species of felid that evolved to fill an ecological niche usually occupied by hominids the same way hyenas are felids that fill a niche usually occupied by canids. Form followed function and now there’s sapient cat people.
Consequently, like most felids, they have five digits on their forelimbs/arms and four on their hind limbs/legs. Their claws are not retractable because evolution sacrificed that for the extra dexterity of two finger joints and better balance while walking upright.
Their coat genetics work very similarly to domestic cats but with a few curveballs and genes unique to them. Some genes crop up more commonly in particular regions with extremely obvious/predictable distribution, so you'll see a lot of colorpoints in Mt Komorebi, a lot of tiger striped agouti in Tomorang, and a lot of bengal agouti and solids in Evergreen. How did this happen without deliberate color breeding? Don't worry about it they're pretty.
They slot more cleanly into felinae than panthera and can purr but not roar. They don’t meow because talking technically is their meow. Closest relatives would probably be cheetahs or other small wildcats.
They’re more omnivorous than most felines and benefit from eating a fruit now and then but they do still primarily eat meat and can’t subsist on a vegetarian diet. because they’re more omnivorous, most of them can taste sweetness. 
They can’t naturally interbreed with humans or anything else besides Sixam aliens, but I mean it’s the sims and science babies are a thing so in practice it’s probably doable. The tech probably originates from the aliens.
(sidenote, I view Sixam aliens as kind of the citrus trees of kingdom animalia. in that they’ll get down with anything that passes the harkness test and can produce viable hybrid offspring with a staggering number of other species, and are generally kind of biological chameleons)
They mostly don’t find it weird that people keep domestic cats as pets for the same reason humans mostly don’t find it weird that people keep monkeys as pets. I mean, don’t keep a monkey as a pet, but you see what I’m saying. if there was a species of domesticated monkey it would be fine. 
They’re naturally predisposed toward magic and have a higher than average percentage of spellcasters among them. they aren’t more gifted at magic than other species, on average, there are just a lot of them that have some aptitude. 
They don’t have a ton of sexual dimorphism, both males and females can range from very small/slight to very tall/bulky and anywhere in between. 
The main difference is that males generally have much fuller/longer manes (it’s more common to keep them long in Evergreen Harbor, but in other regions they often cut/style them shorter according to broader fashion trends) and females generally grow them much shorter and sometimes don’t have one at all.
They don't have eyebrows. Because there's already fur there.
NSFW Biology
They have very small breasts on average unless actively pregnant/nursing and if the game supported it better, they wouldn’t have them at all most of the time. Because I’m tired of slapping boobs on every humanoid species even when it makes no real sense to do so. You really just don’t see cat people walking around with humungous dobonhonkeros and they don’t sexualize them in the same way some human cultures do.
Their dicks aren’t barbed because Ow, but they do have vestigial non-keratinous bumps that make them look like they are. While they do have a sheath rather than a foreskin they don’t actually retract into it by more than a couple inches when soft. 
Social
As a species they’re very predisposed toward polyamory and less inclined to marry or stay with one partner their entire lives, as with most cats. Their family structures tend to be less fixed and more convoluted than the traditional human idea of a nuclear family as a result, with most kittens being raised communally by varied combinations of partents/aunts and uncles/friends. this makes them somewhat frustrating to manage within the framework of sims 4 gameplay. 
They’re promiscuous by human standards and have fewer hangups about nudity. As a consequence they tend to be fetishized/perceived a certain way by other species. Some find this deeply frustrating and some just kinda shrug and lean into it. Or utilize it to make a killing as escorts/cam models because hey the market is there. 
Look, the fact that I regularly make content for wickedwhims should tell you what my priorities are, in any given save of mine San Myshuno is a den of cyberpunk debauchery and everybody's fucking like maniacs. There's some porn logic going on here.
Relationship to the world
They aren’t really native to whatever plane of existence the sims world is in. Originally their species came from another world and entered the one they inhabit now via the magic realm. The population that immigrated was later cut off from their world of origin (or the world itself may have fallen to some sort of calamity, they have no way of knowing at this point) but were able to integrate into their new home pretty successfully. That was many generations ago and the kind of thing the current population reads about in history books, and has absolutely no bearing on anything. but for some reason I needed to know this. and now all of you have to know this. 
They have, however, always been seen as outsiders by the human population and the mindset has persisted to varying degrees throughout history, even though nobody alive today would possibly remember a time when they weren’t around. 
Because of this history, they’re well known for moving into abandoned places and/or ghost towns formerly occupied by humans and making them their own, the most recent example being Evergreen Harbor, which currently has by far the largest population of cat people relative to other species. They’re largely self-governed due to the nature of the place (though they do put in the effort to actually govern themselves, this isn’t a New Hampshire bear town situation) and their work in restoring the area has begun to attract environmental scientists and activists of other species to the town.
Cat people are also a common sight in San Myshuno, where they’re often associated with sex work and the entertainment industry overall. The same is true in Del Sol, though there aren’t nearly as many of them there, and the same reputation tends to follow them to varying degrees anywhere that they aren’t the majority population. To be fair, at least in San Myshuno the reputation isn’t really unwarranted. 
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tokoyamisstuff ¡ 2 days ago
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Hi!! I really love your work :33
I just wondering, what would be the perfect Christmas gift for them(hellsing men)? spicy is ok
I hope you are resting, have a nice day :333
Yoo belated Merry Christmas my friend! Hope you enjoyed the time with your loved ones. <3
also I don't believe in 'gifting' sex, it's on the house lmao sorry
gn! Reader | no warnings | basic and corny shit as always
Alucard isn't really materialistic so he'd rather get something you could enjoy together, like a short trip or date night you planned. | Would gift you something very symbolic like his sword from a past he usually never talks about.
Anderson keeps saying he doesn't need anything but if you insist he's got a few books he'd like to read. Also, of course, anything religious-themed like a rosary bead or a new bible. | Is actually pretty good with personal gifts, he made mental notes of your likes throughout the whole year.
Maxwell acts hard to please, he'd definetly expect some grand gesture and is veery picky. But deep down he's touched by your effort no matter what. | Showers you with random luxurious gifts because it feels nothing is good enough for you either.
Walter likes classics, maybe a new monocle or gloves, or a pocket watch. He stopped smoking cigarettes decades ago but he wouldn't say no to some good quality cigars. | Handpicked a set of jewlery for you and definetly gives you a great bonquet together with it.
Pip wants something that reminds him of you when he's abroad for his work, like dogtags or a picture of you two. A throwing knife with his insignia would also be cool. | He's more of a gesture person and will force his men to prepare it together with him, like a grand firework or something.
Jan is very easy to please, he gets hyped up about anything really. I guess just give him money and let him decide how to spend it, it'll end irresponsible with him buying a gun or some lingerie for you or maybe a puppy, you'll never know with this guy. | Is definetly one of those guys that gifts you 'love coupons' he scribbled last minute. 😭
Luke would like a new tie or hairband, maybe a perfume even. He's a well-groomed man and loves to have something from you on him at all times. | Will spoil you with a new wardrobe which he definetly indulges seeing you in just as much.
The Captain isn't picky but he would definetly enjoy something that reminds him of his past (no nazi stuff, just any keepsakes you found from the city he grew up in). | Gifts you something selfmade like a lucky charm he carved himself or a bracelet.
The Major would enjoy if you cook a fancy meal for him, sharing it with a good wine. And having you for dessert would definetly not be rejected ehehe... | He'd hold a long speech in your honor claiming to lay the world to your feet if that's what you desire, which sounds both flattering and worrying.
The Doc likes some hyper-specific freaky stuff, anything connected to his science or the occult. I bet he's got a wish-list for you and it's not easy or legal to obtain any of those. | Will use his skills to create things you could only wish for in your wildest dreams.
Dandy is a collector, he'd love another card deck, maybe even a personalized one, or a new hat. | Will also get you something that suits your hobby/taste, maybe autographed by a celebrity you admire?
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shadowseductress ¡ 3 days ago
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Your favorite memory of 2024?
Ah… I don't think I have any specific one...but yes, I loved how me and my friends would call each other at 3 am during exams, ranting about how we couldn't do anymore, like fuck it. Then my farewell – it was lovely! A Shreya Ghoshal concert with my besties (it was our first concert together) and then on the last day of all… Staying awake with those dumbasses and talking shit and going insane, my father putting on headphones and vibing like a chill guy, my mom making me my favorite dish, my brother gifting me shoes, my classmates taking care of me when I was sick, my random late-night calls with my brothers, and my late-night walks… There are so many little things I can still write, and all of them are my favorite. I guess this is life – finding joy in the little things.
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erigold13261 ¡ 2 years ago
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Heartbeats ship questions!
Is Yinu a megaartist, or are papa and mama charters?
(For me I lean towards papa being good too, but not as good at powering the quaza than Yinu)
Do you think papa still has lingering symptoms post surgery?
Also, Papa definitely makes flower crowns for everyone.
And space dates! I wanna hear more about them
I... don't know about the megastar question... Hmmm.
It could be possible that Yinu is a megastar, but I honestly don't see Papa being okay with that, like at all. I feel like the only reason Mama let Yinu become a megastar was so that Yinu had something to think of other than Papa's death.
But that makes me wonder then how Neon J would have gotten into contact with the Spinose family. At first I was thinking about him meeting them through NSR, but that wouldn't be happening in this version because Neon HAS to meet Papa before he dies, and Yinu only joins NSR after Papa dies.
So I would say that Neon met Papa through chance. Neon was visiting the cybernetic hospital either for a checkup or to talk with doctors/mechanics. And Papa was at that specific hospital to at least think about the possibility of getting a cybernetic heart.
The doctors would introduce Neon to Papa, they talk for a bit, exchange contacts and talk some more as Neon truly wants to help him and Papa is now a bit more open to the idea of cybernetics.
So anyway, once all that happens and Papa is alive and Neon ends up being a family friend. I would say that Neon offers Papa, Mama, AND Yinu a spot to try out at the Lights Up auditions. Yinu is super excited and just wants to play piano with Papa while Mama is on harp.
I can see Papa again being hesitant, but knowing that Neon works for NSR would ease his anxiety. They end up playing a double piano duet with harp accompaniment that has EDM elements as Neon suggested that would give them a better chance (with him teaching the family how to do EDM. I can see OG Yinu getting in without any EDM in her audition because her age made her a great candidate/special case, but with Papa and Mama accompanying her here they NEEDED that EDM to help them get picked).
So, that was all just a long winded way to say that I see Papa, Mama, and Yinu being the charters for Natura together. Obviously Mama and Papa do all the paperwork and remixing, but Yinu ends up being the main face of the trio as she is so young and brilliant. Sometimes she will even do solo shows which actually gets more fans and more power output because of her passion and confidence playing alone (so yes, Yinu is also better at powering the Qwaza alone than when she is with her parents lol).
Anyway, back to the other questions. Papa probably would have SOME affects still, but they would all be psychological and not physical. Think something like phantom pain. He will be physically all right but sometimes he feels like he is about to collapse. This would be what brings him and Neon very close I think, as Neon knows all too well what Papa is going through (well not EXACTLY because Neon still has his own heart, but one of his lungs is gone so he kinda knows what it's like to have an important internal organ fully removed and replaced).
That flower crown idea is so cute! Of course Papa would do that! He would be the best at it too. Neon would probably get a flower necklace since it would fall off his screen too easily, but it would still be super pretty. Also imagine flower arm bracelets for Yinu, flower rings for DJSS, and then flower crown or a flower veil for Mama. Papa is way too skilled at flower crowns and nothing will be able to stop him.
And hmmm, space dates... I don't know really. Yinu would definitely not be allowed to go as she is too young and it would be dangerous. Also it would cost a LOT of money to do so and need a LOT of preparation. I don't see them going on many space dates. At least not in actual space.
I would like to believe there is a way (either with science magic/passion or elemental magic) that allows people to experience zero-G while not going directly into space. I say this because Papa and Neon would probably be disqualified from ever going into space because of their cybernetics (even if it has been a while since cybernetics have been around, it still hasn't been tested of how cybernetics would react in space. At least major cybernetics relating to internal organs).
So definitely there would be dates to Astronomi (what I THINK is the equivalence of NASA based on the logo) where they are just touring. And then there would be a date in the zero-G device thingy after Neon and DJ talk to people.
I would say their time would be very limited, at least Papa's and Neon's. Mama and DJSS would be able to stay in longer as they are cybernetic free, and they probably would as Papa and Neon tell them to have fun while they talk outside the chamber. They do have fun though together when they can. I can see the four dancing, Mama and DJSS dancing in zero-G and talking while Neon and Papa slow dance as Neon sings and Papa hums. Kinda like parallel playing but more like parallel dating lol.
But yeah, this would be a very fun experience and DJSS gets to show off all he knows and even talks to some people he knows there and introduce them to their significant others. All good times (now Neon taking them on boat rides/battleship tours is a whole other thing lol)
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poorly-drawn-mdzs ¡ 26 days ago
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Look what we've become.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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egophiliac ¡ 1 year ago
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happy new year Ego!!! Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your twst fanart and the tags are just an absolute pleasure to read! You are my greatest inspiration for my personal twst art and I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful masterpieces <333 if possible, may I ask what are some of your headcanons for the diasomnia family? If not for diasomnia then any other characters are fine as well!
thank you, and happy new year! 💚💜💚 that is amazing to hear; it's always a little bewildering but super flattering that other people like my silly little doodles so much!
I don't think I really have any really solid headcanons and also canon keeps validating me left and right (FLUFFY DOMESTIC DIAFAM IS REAL). mostly just kind of...impressions and general thoughts, if that makes sense! lately though I've been kind of obsessed with thinking about Lilia's hair, and specifically when/why he ended up cutting it. (l-look, we're bouncing around the timeline and I gotta make decisions about these things when I draw, it's relevant) (I mean I would probably be weirdly fixated on this anyway, but.)
I think I've settled on the idea that he kept it long until he went to NRC, partly because 1) I like drawing The Ponytail, and 2) I think he thought of NRC as a chance to reinvent himself a bit! he gets to go and be a wacky carefree teenager for a few years and have fun! (officially he's there to keep an eye on Son #1, but how much trouble could he get into, really.) so he gave himself a Cool Teen Haircut to go with his fresh new Cool Teen Persona!
also maybe he had some reflection on his hair's troubled past with three kids...
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...and had to weigh his vanity versus the fact that he was going off to be around hundreds of kids on a daily basis, and. the choice suddenly seemed obvious.
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#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#this is my blog and i'm going to write a million words about lilia and you can't stop me#but anyway i do genuinely get the impression that he's using Pretending to Be a Teenager as a chance to be even sillier than usual#he's a very silly man he's just being EXTRA silly#supported by his recent birthday card where he says he was specifically trying to cast himself as an adorable little brother-type#because he wanted the other students to give him free shit and save him seats and things like that#it worked for about a week before he turned out to be way too good at stuff and everyone just kind of ended up in awe of him instead#and he was like DANGIT. I'VE RUINED IT FOR MYSELF.#(then he and epel went on to talk about their hypothetical vtubersonas because the birthday cards are INSANE but anyway)#i'm bad at headcanons :( sorry!#unless it's dumb things like...what pokemon they would have or whatever#(malleus would have some kind of special fancy-colored dragapult) (but i digress)#i have a hard time putting things into words. just know that i love the grampa bat and his weird kids very much.#my brain is also still kind of fried from the last couple of weeks#i am however starting 2024 off the way i intend to continue it: in deep contemplation of anime hair#(sorry if these look weirdly aliased) (i realized about 3/4 of the way through i was using the wrong brush and i didn't want to restart :U)
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