#i Hope hes doing okay

[twentyonefirstmates]

Just looked at the digital remains again and oh my god why are we not talking more about the original lyrics to backslide

If I were to backslide, tell everyone we know

Thanks for the last time they came out

...

Why did I not thank you more, saving me those other times

(Don't you dare jump in)

...

I'd rather you hurt me, than do nothing at all

I'd rather you let me down, than just gas me up

I'd rather you cuse me, than do nothing at all

...

You won't make a sound, pick someone else I won't be around

Trapped inside your smile, don't put me on trial

Don't you see you take, everything from me

[stiffyck]

STIFF STIFF HELLO IDK IF U HAVE SEEN SCARS LAST INSTAGRAM POST BUT HE IS SO VERY PRETTY AND HANDSOME AAAAUUAHAHHVHHGHH <- dying from exposure to Hot Guy

HES SO PRETTY ITS UNFAIR BUT I ALSO HOPE IT GETS RESOLVED SOON AND I WISH HIM ALL THE BEST

[orionlancasterr]

Oc interview

I was tagged by @adelaidedrubman !

Judas King and Mary Hart agreed to sit down with Lauren Westfield for a couple preemptive interviews with her podcast and YouTube series, Case Files.

name 

“Judas- oh you probably want the full thing, um, Judas King.”

nickname

“The Chosen One, Wrath, Sinner- I think Jacob called me the executioner once…”

Upon seeing Laurens growing discomfort Judas trails off, his face growing red

“Sorry that’s not what you meant. No I don’t really have any, Judas doesn’t really lend itself to nicknames. Skunk tried Jude once but it didn’t feel right.”

gender

“Male, mostly.”

star sign

“Aquarius I think? Mary talks about it a lot.

personality type

“I dont want to be a dick but I don’t really know what this has to do with Edens gate..”

Laura frowns a little, scratching at the back of her head. “We just want to get to know you a little better before we y’know get into the juicy stuff.”

“Oh right, you’re just gonna have to bear with me on some of these, my um, my whole world has been about this stuff uncensored for like five years.”

“Right, of course!” Lauren gives a sort of forced laugh.

height

“5’5 I think, they measured at the last doctors appointment.”

orientation:

“I’ve mostly been using gay but I’ve been reading a lot online and I think I like queer more- I don’t like specific labels.”

nationality/ethnicity:

“American, obviously but I think French? I have a second cousin twice removed something or other that lives over there but I’m not really sure.”

fave fruit 

“I love oranges- more than anyone should and I had one for the first time in years the other day and I gotta say even the best batch of bliss couldn’t beat that shit.”

Lauren, while still uncomfortable makes no move to change the subject this time.

fave season

“Early fall-late summer. The rain brings a chill and I think the mountains are best when it’s wet out.”

fave flower 

“I think bindweed flowers are really cute, unfortunely bindweed sucks.”

fave scent 

“There is this polish I use the interior of cars, mothers, it’s like a plastic restorer anyways that shit smells so good.”

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: 

“I didn’t like coffee or tea for a while but I’ve recently gotten into iced coffee, I like caramel iced lattes apparently.”

average hours of sleep: 

“Good nights, 5-6 but I can easily go a night or two without sleeping. Night terrors. But the guys say I still flail around and shit on the good ones.”

Judas chuckled at this one.

dog or cat person

“Bears. I volunteered at a wildlife rehab center before the reapings and we had this bear, cheeseburger, a big old boy who was found by one of the senior members found him shoving trash in his face behind Chad’s old place. Burgers, fries, onion rings you name it Cheeseburger ate it. So he took him in anyways after everything went down Wade radioed in saying he had to release him because the Jacob wanted to experiment so I tracked him down. Found out he was diabetic and needed insulin so we became buddies. He’s in Yellowstone Wildlife Sanctuary now and I visit him every few days.”

It’s at this point Judas pulls out a phone and starts showing the staff pictures of a severely obese grizzly bear wearing a collar, at which they coo and awe. In newer photos he has lost a considerable amount weight.

dream trip 

“Climb every mountain range in North America. I met a guy when I was a kid on a hike that did that, his name was trinket and he was like 70 years old climbing the continental divide in colorado. Said he sold everything a few years ago to fund his mission. I’d like to start in the south, Saturn says the Appalachians are pretty.”

“I don’t want to assume anything but wouldn’t you be sick of mountains at this point I mean…after everything that happened in the whitetails?”

Judas laughs. “It’s not the mountains fault some lunatic decided to murder and maim a bunch of people.”

favorite fictional/real character

“Optimus Prime, they made like three more transformers movies and I made everyone promise to watch them with me when we get home.”

number of blankets you sleep with? 

“I have a weighted blanket and, okay don’t make fun of me, my baby blanket under that. It’s basically like a two foot square of worn out fabric at this point but we found it in the house after. Um. After.”

It’s at this point Judas begins to look upset for the first time during the interview. Lauren quickly asks the next question.

random fact:

“I thought it would be fun to teach boomer how to launch himself off my back but now he does it at random. It hurts, I’m sorry it’s been nice do you mind if I um. If I go sit outside for a little bit?”

“Of course not, take your time.”

————

name 

“Marilyn Ellen Hart, please don’t call me Marilyn.”

nickname

“Mary, it’s the preferred name.”

She smiles charmingly, directly at the camera.

gender

“Female.”

star sign

“Aries sun, Capricorn moon and Sagittarius rising. This should be a shock to no one.”

This draws a laugh out Lauren.

personality type

“ENFP, crowds really get me going, I love talking to people. It’s why I love playing shows. Yeah sure the music is the thing that keeps me going after everything but the people make me feel alive.”

height

“Five feet two inches exactly. I got my drivers licence a few days ago. It’s crazy how many rules there are to driving in the real world. Skunk and Nick had two rules. Don’t hit anyone and stay on the pavement.”

Another laugh bubbles out of the staff and is met with a brilliant smile from Mary.

orientation:

“Lesbian but Judas and Daisy keep reading articles too me and maybe I’m also asexual. I haven’t decided yet.”

nationality/ethnicity:

“Raised in America but I was adopted from Ukraine.”

fave fruit 

“Strawberries. Like good fresh sweet ones. The ones from the store aren’t nearly as good.”

fave season

“Summer. Hot, sunny days, as dry and bright as possible.”

fave flower 

“Daisy”

She winks at the camera

fave scent 

“BBQ, I love a good vinegar based sauce.”

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: 

“Saturn got me hooked on sweet iced tea.”

average hours of sleep: 

“Recently I’ve been getting full nights sleep without smoking now that’s wild to me.”

dog or cat person

“Does peaches count as a cat?”

She looks past the camera and grins at someone. Laura asks who peaches is.

“Peaches, my dear, is this badass cougar we found eating so- I’m not allowed to say that am I? We found her in the Henbane.  Her owner just. Handed her to us, a trio of eighteen year old kids. She’s the sweetest thing…most of the time. She’s at Yellowstone with Cheeseburger. Apparently they tried to separate them but I imagine it didn’t go well because they were together again within like two days.”

Dream trip

“The ocean, we’re driving down California in a few weeks and I made them promise to take me to the Monterrey Bay Aquarium.”

favorite fictional/real character

“Misa Amane, from death note. I was obsessed with her in middle school.”

number of blankets you sleep with? 

“Whatever is in the back of the van. Usually a throw and Judas’s weighted blanket.”

random fact:

“I had to learn how to whittle my own sticks because the ones we’d scavenge kept snapping on me. I still use my own at shows.”

I’ll tag @vault81 @bleumanouche @chaosintheavenue and anyone who wants to!

[danhengposting]

why are my jing yuan posts getting more notifs what happened in hsr 1.3,,,, they hit him with the angst beam didnt they

[sunshineintomyveins]

i wonder if he knows i still listen to the song he recommended to me two years ago every day

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

[souplix]

felix's messages on bubble 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[s0urte3th]

thinking about my brother

[aluminumneedles]

I'm knitting in the corner at a party

and guys my age stop by to tell me I remind them of their aunt, of their grandmother. This is a compliment and I take it as such. They confess to having tried crochet once, and I smile. They get back in line for the bathroom.

I'm knitting in the corner at a party and a queer woman sits on the floor next to me, arranges her skirt, and smiles up at me. (I try not to blush.) She asks me all the questions on her mind about my craft and I answer them, hands still moving. We swap yarn sources. She doesn't stay, but she knows where to find me.

I'm knitting in the corner at a party and everyone knows where to find me when they need a minute, when socializing is too much and the music is too loud and they need to catch their breath. They pretend to be checking in on me, which is sweet, but I can see the relief in their eyes the moment they stop performing for a house full of people. They sit down and tell me things and all the while they never take their eyes off my hands.

The party has wound down and I'm still knitting and the hosts, two guys in their twenties, thank me for "helping to curate the vibe." I had no idea that's what I was doing. I leave the party having forgotten to drink anything and without that woman's number but with many rows added to my top-down raglan sweater. I call it a night, and a good one.

[eydilily]

would you bite the hand that feeds you?

[chloesimaginationthings]

Will the real FNAF Helpy please stand up?..

[hamable]

I’m thinking about Mahito’s great great uncle maintaining and preserving a peaceful and beautiful thing in a way that to an outside observer looks tedious and unimportant, hoping to pass the duty off to a successor but ultimately he cannot find one and dies with it.

I’m thinking about the specificity of the blocks being made and handled with care, not with malice or ill intent.

I’m thinking about Hayao Miyazaki, a bastion of beautiful 2d hand drawn animation who refuses to retire.

I’m thinking about a world where animation is so rarely made with love over profit and efficiency.

I’m thinking about how, though the old man didn’t see it, the next generation still hangs onto a piece of that beautiful, tedious thing and takes it with them because it feels important.

I’m thinking about Mahito being told he should forget, but no. He shouldn’t.

[forgettable-au]

FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 61-64)

* I-I don't think we were talking about the same thing...

[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]

[egophiliac]

What do you like about the Diasomnia boys if I may ask?

I always love hearing about the different reasons people enjoy characters.

I mean, c'mon. he has split custody over Sebek okay

also, Lilia in particular has maybe the best timeskip character development of all time

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[vaguely-concerned]

the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)

after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)

the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol

lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him