#i Cannot trust my brain

[ancientchemicals]

the turmoil of wanting to read adamsapple fic this evening but not wanting my own fic to be subconsciously influenced by others work so having to hold back

[vaguely-concerned]

rookanis really is like... first base is you walking through the haunted ruins of my mind to find me in an act of breathtaking psychological intimacy with added tam lin undertones. second base is baked goods (cautious erotic connotations). third base is deicide. THEN we kiss. also second deicide of course once you pop it's hard to stop

[chrollogy]

PAINT ME A HEAVEN OF LOVE WITH YOUR BLOODIED MOUTH

“taint me like a fallen angel—rip my ivory wings off, and i will think of it as an act of purity. chant my name like forbidden curse, and i will close my eyes and hear it as a sacred prayer for i am nothing but your devout lover.”

[shittywriterbrain]

i will never be normal about the you wear fine things well scene. i will pause that shit five times and rewatch it again and again and rant at my screen about every single thought going on in ed's head and how fucking perfect the music and taika's acting are

[m4rs-ex3]

trailer screaming part 3: rayllum edition

someone slap me dear god

when i heard The Line i will say i was scared as fuck but actually i feel good about this

first there's rayla being just so sad and oh my god it breaks my fucking heart

LOOK AT THE BABY NOOOO 😭😭

but the way he is looking at her just the most concerned/caring/loving face on the globe holy shit

she has her hand held tight to her chest, closing herself off, so of course he goes and delicately takes it

the way that her expression turns shocked, like she wasn't expecting that (how could you not at this point) and he gets that fucking intense devoted lovesick look which is when you know you're in for it

AND THEN😭TH😭E AN DTH😭 TH E 😭

THE SMILE. THAT SMILE COULD MELT ICEBERGS. THAT SMILE COULD END WARS. THAT SMILE COULD SHATTER KNEECAPS. UNRELATED BUT I CANT FEEL MY KNEES.

so, if we are indulging my deepest fanfic-fueled desires, i'm willing to say that rayla needs something from him, perhaps even...........asks... for something..........................for herself... and callum is like "girl. bro. i would do anything for you. dumbass<3" but idk definitely probably maybe something like that

based on the fact that we are still at the banther lodge, rayla is wearing her cloak, and the lighting is similar, this takes place either before or after the soren/rayla brawl + Ez Entering (bc the lighting's still a little different) and i hope it's before because. yk. it would probably mean that that scene is resolved somewhat.

love how this trailer fucked me up but said "calm down we'll be nice to rayllum

for now"

[jade-of-mourning]

sorry sometimes i think about mako and my heart hurts so much. this kid raised himself and his brother on the streets in homelessness and utter poverty from eight through fifteen, promptly after seeing the violent death of his mother and father. he turned to the triple threats because they couldn't survive as a pair of wretched kids without any adult support, and the environment forced him to turn into the exact character that killed his parents in a terrible twist of irony. and after sheer-fucking-luck hits and they aren't homeless anymore, their livelihood wavers on the outcome of what's a literally game to everyone but them; and after things are finally starting to look up and their team is going places and things just might be okay, his gradually stabilizing world unceremoniously expands and everything goes to shit.

and the city that chewed him up and spat him back out, ruined him as a child and took away his ability to stay afloat in a true sense of normalcy as an adult — when it's on the verge of destruction and falling to pieces before his eyes, he gives himself to save it with the full expectation to die. he went from the kid who didn't and couldn't care about anything outside of himself and his brother, to finding redemption for his younger self in his police work despite its injustice against him, to willingly sacrificing himself to a world that had never loved him.

he's a desperate people pleaser, socially and emotionally stunted for the adult he had to be as a kid, unable to navigate interpersonal relationships easily yet still trying his damned hardest. he's intensely and entirely devoted to the things that matter to him and for so long it was only him, bolin, and ensuring their survival — yet by the end, that devotion has expanded to protecting the rest of the world. he starts out entirely self-reliant and ends in trusting the people he cares about to know their own needs, to be able to take care of themselves, to be okay without him despite having spent so much of his life defined by his role in others' well-being.

just. what the fuck i'm such a big fan of this fictional guy and i'm unashamed about it at this point. also let him cry please (if you won't i'll do it i'll let him cry)

[0xeyedaisy]

hai me again :p nah nah you don't need to apologize so much, ppl make mistakes it's finee,,

and like i said, i still found it beautiful.

wish i would have been able to screenshot the art or something before you took it down🥹 i thought i did but apparently i didn't ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but aaaaaaaa!!! i can't wait to see when u actually draw tribe priest!!, im so excited xD

Here's your pretty fella, this time the correct one,,,,

And Monk as well, since you liked him!

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I know that people are rarely their best selves at a funeral, but do you ever just watch your family move through the process of mourning the Patriarch and have a sudden and violent and vivid understanding of Why Everyone Is The Way They Are

[bruhstation]

you deserved better from me than an oversized uniform and a world full of troubles

[vaguely-concerned]

ingellvar must have so many strange off-putting little personal habits in their day to day life that they don't even realize come across as weird, especially if they haven't ever dated outside of the watchers much. in rye's specific case I think lucanis has a capacity for such immaculate 'sure my life is already so fucking weird this might as well happen' energy that I believe he'd be able to roll with the punches admirably given the time, but it really would be a situation like

(what was going on there was that rook was placing down some experimental wards, by the way, it's what he does to calm down before bed and if he wakes during the night. what with the necropolis itself being a liminal space of lf sorts on a cosmic scale, watchers take the additional liminal space between wakefulness and dreaming extremely seriously b/c they know there are things drifting through that would just love to get their foot/tentacle/conceptual spores in that particular half-ajar door that should not be allowed inside. or outside, I suppose, depending on your point of view. rook and lucanis are also experimenting with whether solid wards can help any with lucanis' weird post-spite dreams even if they can't do anything for the more mundane ptsd ones. third reason because in my worldstate they still live in the lighthouse after the game: unless gently dissuaded wisps will sometimes drift by while you're asleep and hover over your face curiously as they sense your mind doing stuff in the fade, and no one likes waking up on an eldritch sneeze with a well-meaning yet terrified wisp zooming about the room. important watcher novice 101 lessons.

blessed mental image of rye cross-legged on the floor, barefoot in his PJs with his hair down and no makeup, peaceably tracing out elaborate geometric shapes that somehow make your eyes scared when you look at them* while lucanis sits on the bed and reads out loud to both him and spite and occasionally sneaks some carnal looks at rook's fully unleashed curly hair and bare wrists & throat...... okay I think I've found the thing that will help me through the day thank you for coming on this journey with me)

*what is the paint he's using made out of and why is it such a deeply unsettling colour? don't worry about it! :) patented mostly well-meaning yet also borderline condescending mortalitasi hand wave of 'don't worry your sweet little non-nevarran head about it we both know you don't actually want to know. do not ask questions lest you learn the answers, especially if you're going to be annoying at me and freak out about it. let the things man was not meant to know stay unknown. unknown by you I mean I'm built different'

[ev7nescent]

With all the ads I've seen of Link Click,,, and the music videos,,,,

I'm bound to believe that 'Link Click' as a whole is just a side gig that unexpectedly got a lot of money made. I mean— come on. Time Photo Studio is just a place to print photos, why would they get sponsored by brands like Oppo and uhh that one ad I saw of the face cream plus the gas stove? (Or pot, I don't remember). In which world do you think Lu Guang would be so engaged with social media when in the anime he is practically invisible online?? They stream too, furthermore giving me hope that everything is fine evidence to back this theory. When do companies sponsor people? Because people think- 'Oh my fav celebrity is promoting this I must buy it' and it works. It works man. They're POPULAR and they're CELEBRITIES.

Cheng Xiaoshi is trying his best to get money to pay off the rent lmao-

I've no idea how canon those ads are, but considering how Link Click is, it has to be SOMEWHAT canon, right????

Yes I'm talking about a potential** ACTOR AU.

Yes I've been thinking of this since Yingdu.

No I'm not okay.

[gatheredfates]

Also related but I can't be bothered adding it to the original post: we should be allowed to make 'ugly' work. Don't treat your creative process like a content farm, I'm begging you.

[callmegaith]

Barney nation

I'm leaving this here till the morning but... HL1 Barns with some inspo from blue shift

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

So in the fall I went from like fully a hundred percent head in the game with the church job to realizing job applications are due Now and working on them, all in the space of like. A weekend. Meaning I missed a lot of good opportunities that closed earlier in the fall and spent a while staving off panic that I missed everything and didn't have a wide enough net. Anyway given all that it's great that I keep finding more openings but also AT WHAT COST

[livingasaghost]

i bought into the :/ vibes of captive prince as well because for a long time i didn't care to look beyond what everyone else was saying about it and frankly i wasn't interested in reading the books but when i see readers saying we shouldn't read captive prince because it glorifies slavery and non-con while the same readers praise colleen hoover and fourth wing and the after series and every shitty dark romance mafia book... i am not saying captive prince is the greatest book series ever and i definitely was uncomfortable with parts of it (because i am definitely not as intellectual as others who read and analysed it) but there's so much worse books out there that get praised A Lot (and especially on booktok) and yeah idk where i am going with this sorry atsjdkf

SAY THAT!!!! like listen i get it, if you're into dark problematic shit kudos, because i looooove me some fucked up books but if you are pointing fingers while ALSO reading a different brand of problematic shit....maybe you're the problem! i feel like people who read books like captive prince or aftg are usually the first ones to analyze how fucked up they are, to think critically and engage with the darker parts of those series whereas a lot of colleen hoover stans on booktok just gloss over the abuse and toxicity because it's all about romance? (or supposedly about romance) like sure captive prince is a love story in the end, and aftg is kind of about a love story in its own way, but i think both of those stories are first and foremost about overcoming abuse and healing from trauma and learning how to trust other people in the wake of all that. the romance is just a wonderful addition to some complex series that allow you the space to exist in the gray areas of human nature.

[tubbytarchia]

Also I need to say SOMETHING because I've been tormented by this for the past few days after having been made aware but yandere Pearl makes me so upset, imo it's such a disservice to her character!! That or other interpretations that just make her out to be evil. I understand the appeal of the trope and for AUs and stuff, ofc go wild!! But that is very much not what happened in DL canon and anyone who thinks that she's only interesting with the yandere trope attached is a fake fan!! Pearl was labelled crazy and of course she leaned into it, because what else does she do? Nobody wants her, everyone believes she's lost it, so she might as well!! At the very least it serves as some intimidation that Pearl CAN use to her advantage but did she ever want to? She's not crazy for Scott, not by any stretch of the imagination. She wanted some kind of approval, or acceptance. She didn't just want Scott to herself or whatever argument people try to make and she most certainly wasn't evil or cruel. Many times when people were getting up to mischief, Pearl didn't take large part if at all even if she was there. She often played along and, yeah, she played along, like most Lifers would, no? I can see how her behaviour could be observed as obsessive when she keeps trying to settle near Scott but, I don't even know how to articulate my thoughts other than to reinforce that that wasn't her obsessing over Scott. I suppose you could view Pearl as evil depending entirely on what you classify as evil in a death game where most everyone has to kill anyway, and where a lot of people commit arson and stuff (Joel killed some Jellies, loved to bully Jimmy, retaliated having the Relationship burnt down by burning every other establishment he could, is he also evil? What makes Pearl evil? Does she just get called that more because Joel is expected to be a menace by default?), but there is so much more nuance there than some form of "she flipped on a dime in session 1 and immediately became a crazy ex after a breakup". But you know what, that's what Scott wanted people to believe and if anyone in the fandom does then I have news for you

Also I'm not trying to say that playing a villain character is bad (Scott is such a villain though not at all a plainly visible one, and he's very compelling as a character) nor am I trying to make Pearl out to be some totally innocent sweetpea. Or maybe I am. #Pearl did literally nothing wrong to warrant this (but like, art of her being girlboss and stuff goes hard still, she OWNED the scene still when she embraced the label. She was mad cool, but it's not "being evil" that makes a character mad cool)

(PS don't take this too seriously, although I do heavily disagree with this interpretation personally, I'm not police and also I love all the Lifers including Scott dearly. Reminder that this is just about the characters they play and it's reasonable for viewers to believe his story foremost if they've only watched his POV and such, I think)