#i *will* draw this just give a hot minute
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INTRO ⋆ 정국
you’re jeongguk’s secret santa this year, so you give him the best gift he’ll ever receive.
⋆⁺₊❅. 1/6 from christmas & chill
pairing virgin!jk x fem reader
genre smut, fluff, friends to lovers, first time
warnings painfully oblivious jk, even more painfully oblivious oc, mutual pining unlike anything you’ve seen, jk being a hot nerd ceo who’s loaded rich and unaware of his potential, please imagine him as nam joohyuk in start up, oc just creaming her pants for jk, hand job, lowk strip tease, dry humping, nipple play (m&f), unprotected p in v sex, creampie, jk is so needy and impatient but also very polite, smut is kinda rushed because well… it’s his first time! sawrry! also i open gifts on xmas eve please don’t come for me and my traditions (it’s lich just because i’m impatient)
word count 8.3k
author’s note hello hello hello!!! i’m so nervy to post this because it’s what finally inaugurates c&c!!!! i hope it can be a pleasing (intro)duction to the series hehe… either way you’ll get something totally better from miss lyssa tomorrow so stay tuned Wink 🩷 luv u always
banner by the talented @awrkive ⟡ ݁₊ .
Secret Santas have become the only way you’ve been able to deal with Christmas. When it comes to gift-giving, you’re embarrassed to admit that creativity in that department doesn’t exactly come naturally to you.
You try your best, truly. But you either end up going over budget, striving to please all your loved ones with unnecessarily expensive gifts which will only leave you with empty hands and an empty wallet, or having your brain completely stop working, if not to come up with the most basic and useless options that will get you forced smiles and polite nods in fake recognition.
It’s exhausting, demoralizing, and frankly, a recipe for holiday burnout.
So when two years ago, on the brink of giving up entirely and seriously contemplating hibernating through winter, your dear friend Jimin swooped in and suggested Secret Santa, it completely reshaped your next Christmases.
Exactly a month before Christmas Eve, you reunite over drinks and food at Jeongguk’s house to draw names. His place always ends up as the default spot for dinners, movie nights, or even football matches. Those don’t usually get the attention of everybody, especially of some of the girls, and it wouldn’t get yours either.
But you never skip game night. Correction, you never miss an excuse to be in Jeongguk’s space, even if it means sitting through 90 minutes of men chasing a ball on a screen. After all, you’re never truly paying attention, always stealing glances at the boy who seems almost even more uninterested than you.
It’s about witnessing him in his house— which, truthfully, is more of a mansion. The spacious, cozy interiors mirror a part of him that’s hard to miss: his perfectionist side, the one that likes to keep things understated but can’t help leaving subtle, telling marks of his presence on everything he touches, is woven into every corner.
Over time, you’ve naturally come to associate the place with holidays, laughter, and celebrations that fill you with a sense of belonging. Being here, surrounded by your closest friend, makes you feel profoundly grateful.
And there’s so many traces of you all, too. The faint wine stain on Jeongguk’s carpet that is only still noticeable if you squint, the one that spilled from your glass when Hoseok’s jokes had you laughing too hard; the long, slim scratch on the kitchen door, courtesy of Eunbi, who thought learning how to balance glasses on her forehead would get one of her coworkers to finally fall for her; the wobbly vase on the coffee table that was knocked over during one of Jimin’s overly enthusiastic attempts to kick a water bottle open.
Watching Jeongguk deal with the chaos you all force into his space might be another big reason why you love being here. It seems to squeeze out his most genuine reactions and quirks, and you can’t help biting your lips at those, almost pornographically so.
For someone who works so hard to appear composed, and who’s also extremely shy and reserved, Jeongguk is hilariously transparent when things don’t go his way. Brows furrowed, as if that’s where he keeps all his control. Although, no matter how flustered he gets, Jeongguk almost never gets choleric. His instinct is never to lash out but to scramble, a picture of barely contained stress insisting that everything is fine.
And the more he insists, the more you find yourself wishing it wasn’t fine. Sometimes, you want to see him lose it— especially at you.
You’ve tried, too. You’ve pushed boundaries, done little things to test the limits of his patience, all for the slim possibility of seeing him crack, just for you. But it never works. The best you get is an awkward smile, maybe a quiet laugh. It’s not nothing, but it’s not what you want, either.
You don’t think you’ve ever felt this crazy about someone before. Not in the way where everything he does sends your brain spinning with possibilities. It’s maddening. His obliviousness is maddening.
Chiefly tonight, when you’re trying extra hard to keep it under control, the whole group gathering in a circle around the bowl that holds all your names, each one carefully folded into a little square, waiting to be drawn.
But when your slim fingers brush against one of the many crumpled pieces of paper and decide your fate, you send a small prayer to whoever might be listening. Please, don’t let it be Jeongguk.
It doesn’t really come off as a coherent request, especially considering how much your body has betrayed you tonight. Your thighs have been pressing together most of the evening, a subconscious reaction every time your gaze wandered — lingered — on Jeongguk’s lower half. Those low, slouchy grey sweatpants, hanging effortlessly off his narrow hips, have been the source of many inappropriate thoughts that you wish would make you grow some shame within yourself. Instead, they only make you grow hotter in your seat.
No, you would love to be Jeongguk’s Secret Santa with the blatant, embarrassingly huge crush you have on him. You think you’d be happy about it in any other universe, except this one.
Jeongguk is difficult. And not because he’s ever been argumentative, looking to start quarrels, never willing to agree or see past his nose. He’s far from those. He’s one of the easiest people to be around, rarely judgmental, even when you were drunk off your mind and you jokingly grinded on very-gay Jimin to make up for your lack of sexual activity. On those occasions, you didn't exactly see judgement in his eyes. Just reticence. Maybe. It wasn’t clear.
What is clear is that Jeongguk is incredibly particular. He’s picky about what he likes and even more so about what he doesn’t, though dislike might be too soft a word. When he hates something, it’s impossible not to know. He doesn’t even try to mask his disappointment.
It’s not malicious, of course. He’s not the type to be spiteful. It’s just how he is, an open book, his expressions giving him away without fail.
It’s one of the many reasons you love watching him, other than hoping your eyes would telepathically convey your undying desire to fuck him and cuddle him close to your chest afterwards. But most of the time, studying the shifts in his features is a way for you to decipher what he’s thinking.
And that’s why this moment feels so high-stakes. The last thing you want is to be on the receiving end of one of Jeongguk’s polite smiles or barely-there nods of acknowledgment, the kind he gives when he’s unimpressed. It would crush you, the ultimate failure in your short-lived career as a gift-giver.
It’s not just that he’s hard to please. Jeongguk is also the last person who seems to need anything. He’s loaded, his success as a game developer has afforded him a life where anything he wants is within reach. And yet, despite his wealth, there’s no arrogance about him. If you didn’t know him so well, you might think he was just another college student scraping by.
Who else but Jeon Jeongguk could walk around in a hoodie and square glasses, looking like he just rolled out of bed, while being the CEO of his own company?
But, of course, none of this is important. Because as you unfold the piece of paper in your hand, it’s there. Jeongguk.
You don’t think you enjoy Secret Santa as much anymore.
With the bowl continuing its journey around the circle, you spend the rest of the game staring holes into the back of Jeongguk’s head, desperately trying to figure out what in the world you could possibly get him. Your monthly budget feels laughable in comparison to his lifestyle, but you’re already prepared to go way over it if that’s what it takes to impress him.
You wonder if he’s as insecure as you are when he quietly unfolds the small, paper square he picked up and scans the name. His bug eyed expression doesn’t hide an evident surprise, the twitch of his eyebrows managing to conceal a possible disappointment.
For someone who’s usually so easy to read, Jeongguk seems uncharacteristically guarded in this moment, and it drives you crazy. You squint at him, frowning as you try to decipher any small detail on his face. Is he annoyed? Or worse, completely indifferent?
Either way, it doesn’t look like a positive reaction. If it ends up being you, you’ll rethink back to this moment and cry yourself to sleep.
With the first step out of the way, the night goes on following its usual rhythm. Only by the end of it, Jeongguk’s space starting to empty, you quietly help him put some order to the mess left behind by a too drunk Hoseok paired with his too drunk best friend Taehyung.
You keep yourself busy with storing some leftover food, managing to keep your tone unbothered when you ask, “Hey, Gguk. Wanna help me with the party planning this year?”
Always obliging to your every request, he only stutters slightly in his movements, the glasses he was cleaning clinking together. He clears his throat, “S—sure. I’ll help you, goldie.” The stammer doesn’t seem to be caused by any kind of hesitation, just an usual consequence to his nature. Reserved, quiet.
You nod, gulping way too loudly at the special nickname he has for you, and both of you keep your focus on your doings instead of witnessing the faint blush dusting your cheeks, “Cool. I’ll text you the details tomorrow.”
Details texted, your efforts to divert the conversation into something remotely playful failed miserably. Jeongguk is painfully formal, methodical as ever, hyper-focused on the party. When you sent him a TikTok you deemed adorable enough to nudge him toward a different matter, maybe hint at the dog being the cutest thing he’s ever seen and that you two should definitely adopt three of them and move in together, he still doesn’t get it.
gguk🤍: Oh… I asked my brother to keep Bam for Christmas Eve. I thought he would be too much of a hassle, especially with Iseul not being fond of dogs.
You had stared at the ceiling for a long moment after reading that text. Jeongguk is endearingly dense, and you don’t mind it most of the time. But it’s starting to cause quiet bursts of frustration when it comes to whatever undefined thing you two have, and what is clearly simmering for the eyes of everybody to see, except his.
You’d thought giving him his first handjob when he quietly confessed he’s never been touched, his voice a tremble in the calm aftermath of a chaotic group sleepover, would be enough to make him see. His quiet whimpers were hypnotizing calls that only you were meant to hear, and your fist pumping his girthy length with intent was speaking all you were afraid to voice.
Jeongguk came hard and unannounced all over your hand, pleasured sounds muffled in the side of your neck, and you’d assured him it was okay; he did good; that you would get something to clean him up. You didn’t sleep that night, and he didn’t either, spending the rest of it next to each other on his couch talking pointless conversation.
If that hadn’t opened his eyes, you were beginning to wonder what would.
“So… Do you have any idea what to gift your person?”
Jeongguk stirs his latte for the fourth time. You’d decided to meet at a café halfway between your cramped flat and his mansion, because it was the easiest way you managed to make your busy schedules merge.
“No, Gguk,” you acknowledge his question without meeting his eyes, focusing on the grocery list on your laptop instead.
What would? You’re starting to think subtlety isn’t cutting it. Maybe it never has. Perhaps the only way to break through that frustratingly thick skull of his is to go full throttle, strip naked right here in the middle of this café and spell it out for him.
Your eye involuntary twitches at the thought in relation to his question. Crazy Christmas gift, you reason as you stare maniacally at your bright screen. Yeah. Totally crazy.
Shaking your head, you can’t resist glancing up at him. The idea doesn’t seem so irrational anymore, not when your insides twist at the sight of his absorbed expression, his brows furrowed as he scribbles out unheard-of maths on a piece of paper to figure out group expenses.
With your chin resting in the palm of your hand, you abandon your pretense of being productive and let yourself watch him work. A teasing lilt slips into your voice as you prod him in your usual way, “Why should I believe you already don’t know who it is?”
He blinks up at you, promptly, like he always does when you speak to him, and he stumbles, “Huh— I don’t—”
“You so do. You probably already guessed it all with your nerdy brain.”
Despite looking mildly offended, his ears turn red anyway, “Nerdy brain—”
“Glasses look cute on you,” that shuts him up; his mouth, his brain. Completely unable to cater to any of their functions.
You smirk at the way he diverts his gaze, pointer finger unconsciously fixing the specs on the bridge of his nose, and you wonder how much longer it’ll take for him to notice that you don’t just go around calling everyone’s glasses cute.
Sighing, you continue, “Anyways. It’s not you.”
“W—what? Is it really not?” When he looks up at you with even wider eyes, you feel bad for lying to him but you still shake your head. He mutters, “Shoot. I was so sure I had it.”
A playful scoff escapes you, “See! You did sit in your nerdy room and tried to guess!”
“Stop calling me a nerd,” it’s a request grumbled in the most adorable way you’ve heard, and there’s no real heat behind it. Especially when he goes back to be exactly what he doesn’t want you to refer to him as, “Well, if it’s not me, it must be Taehyung.”
You pretend to busy yourself with your touchpad as you ponder on his eagerness. Then, you voice the result, “What’s the fun in knowing right now?”
Jeongguk hesitates for a moment too long before admitting, “I don’t know. I guess it makes me less anxious.”
It’s a raw kind of honesty, much like what he was painted all over with when he came from your touch, and it has you shifting your gaze back on him, now absorbed in doodling stylized portraits of Bam right next to numbers and additions.
You don’t know if it’s the hot chocolate still simmering in your tummy, the warmth from the coat laying on your legs, the café’s natural heat or Jeongguk’s proximity, but you buzz with something homely.
Ariana Grande’s version of Last Christmas replays for the third time in a row, and at this point you’re starting to believe it’s a conscious choice, but you don’t mind it.
Jeongguk belongs to the world the soft melody is building, hugged by a woolen white sweater, the wide glass window behind him giving the perfect view to a classic winter scenery, snow softly resting on any surface it finds and unconsciously bringing magic to dullness. Or maybe it’s just him adding that last bit.
You smile at his small confession, reassuring with your tone, almost drowning in the lively chatter of the place surrounding you, “You don’t have to be.”
Jeongguk only nods, tapping the pencil on his temple as he studies what he has so far with sudden doubt. He looks at your laptop, scanning the long forgotten visual board on your Pinterest, then back to his calculations.
Giving one more glance at the screen, he concludes, “By the way, I really don’t think that color would look good in my living room.”
Ugh.
You think you want to strangle him when he deflects so easily from these moments. And mostly, the burgundy he’s so easily refusing happens to be one of your favorite shades. Do your tastes ever match?
God, as much as you want him, you hope he’s not your Secret Santa.
────⋆。˚❆˚ 。⋆────
Jeongguk is your Secret Santa.
And on Christmas Eve, he’s pacing the length of his living room back and forth, his socks brushing against the polished wooden floor with each step. You’re supposed to arrive any minute now to help him with the final touches before the others come for dinner, and the idea of having you here alone is enough to make his hands clammy and his thoughts stumble.
The neatly wrapped gift with its shiny red paper sits tucked under the towering Christmas tree, the one adorned in messy decor that his friends jumbled up together. The item hidden inside the bag doesn’t share his anxieties, though he suspects his downstairs neighbour might have caught on to it with the incessant pacing.
When you ring the doorbell he’s jolted out of it and, practically tripping over his own feet, he rushes to the door and yanks it open. He would have let you in just as rapidly if his brain didn’t stop short at seeing you standing there.
You’re cladded in a soft sweater that looks two sizes larger, its beige tones complimenting the warm brown of his own jumper, and your short skirt peeks out beneath its hem, edged with lace ruffles. At your feet, a pair of chestnut Uggs that he can only hope are enough to make up for the cold shivers on your bare legs. Not that he’s staring, so intently he has to gulp down an impulsive thought. No, he’s just a naturally observing guy.
And that brings him to notice that your hands are empty, save for a small purse and a bottle of wine. No bag, no box, no sign of a gift.
When his gaze flickers back to your face, your eyes are wide and darting nervously between his own, narrowed by the frown that he can’t quite hide but bug sized the moment he catches a trace of insecurity in your shaky voice, “Hi.”
It could be the cold causing the brief greeting to tremble, small snowflakes laying on your neatly styled hair, shimmering for a brief moment before melting away. It pulls him out from his unabashed study of you, and he steps aside to let you into his much warmer space.
Your vanilla scent inebriating his senses has him forgetting all about your seemingly non existent gift, and how he suddenly finds himself wishing he truly did get something messed up in his calculations, that you’re not his Secret Santa.
But you are.
Many drinks later, filling up everyone’s stomachs along with shared food and belly laughter, it’s time to exchange gifts and the expression on your face is unlikely anything he’s caught on so far.
A huge contrast to the mellow Christmas tunes indistinctly playing in the background, your eyes are impassive as you word your excuses, “I’m sorry, Gguk. I forgot your gift at home.”
“Oh. It’s okay,” he says quickly, the words spilling out with genuine ease. And it really is okay. He’s not upset— far from it. The thought of you giving him anything at all, even belatedly, is enough to make him feel content.
But now, as the group’s attention turns toward him, his heart races for an entirely different reason. His gift for you, a lavish, over-the-top gesture that far exceeds the modest budget they all agreed on, sits waiting on his lap.
When it finds a new home atop your own crossed legs, you’re eager as you rip the paper, but your eyes don’t follow your movements. Instead, you focus on the nervous boy sitting across from you, your very own Secret Santa who’s monitoring your hands for you while subtly rocking from one side to the other.
His anxiety is endearingly soft, but you can see something more to it, almost an irrational fear of tripping on the wrong step, messing up something that’s supposed to be simple.
You hear it before you see it. The whole room inhales sharply in a collective surprise, with some gasps muffled behind hands pressed to mouths. You scramble for an explanation in their expressions, jumping from one face to the other, stopping on Jeongguk’s own, gaze glued to his fidgeting fingers, head bowed down to his lap.
When you slowly look down at what’s resting on yours, you almost wheeze. If they could, your eyes would leap out of their sockets.
Your palm instinctively presses on your lips as you look between the gift and the gifter in a frantic attempt to catch any sign that this is not what it is. With the music being the only sound eerily filling the sudden silence, you add to it, even if barely, with your voice a whisper, “What is this?”
Jeongguk gulps and finally meets you, “It’s m—my gift for you.”
It’s not like you even opened it yet. But the simple sight of the box had you grasping for support. On the pale, textured surface of the square box, the unmistakable gold lettering is what’s making your orbs shake in confusion: Dior.
You trace the sign with your pointed finger, tilting your head up to look at Jeongguk through your lashes, and you don’t know how else to put it, “Ggukkie… Were you there when we set the budget?”
Jimin butts in with a scoff, “Yeah, that’s like fifteen thousand won multiplied by another fifty thousand.”
Jeongguk doesn’t know what he should say. He’s scared of the deafening silence that follows, the way Jimin’s comment seems to linger in the air, the way you seem to struggle with finding something to say in response.
He begins, tries to, “I—”
“Fuck, Gguk,” the simple sound of your words has his mind spiralling, palms clammy with doubts that question his every choice leading up to this moment, feeling foolish for even thinking this could be right, a shot worth trying. What if you think he’s showing off? Or worse, overcompensating?
But what he fails to notice is the toothy grin that follows your shameless surprise, your fingers gingerly lifting the lid of the box, and really, if only he had the courage to look up at you he’d have avoided the worries.
He misses your reaction at the reveal: the prettiest earrings sit on a soft cushion, gleaming gold with delicate CD initials and cream pearls dangling gracefully beneath them.
“These are the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. I love them. You didn’t have to.”
Jeongguk’s head snaps up. He meets your face painted with the most beautiful grin he’s ever seen you wear, your cheeks burning with red and your nose scrunching as you carefully slip the earrings to take a better look at them. With you, everybody else around him seems in awe, too. Their soft, endeared whispers begin to fill the earlier suffocating silence, melting into a sweetness reserved entirely for Jeongguk.
He exhales quietly, the welcomed warmth in his chest replacing the cold. He admits, no stutter, no fear, just a sheepish smile, “I wanted to.”
Jeongguk really did want to. It felt like his one shot. A desperate, last-ditch attempt at making you see him the way he’s always seen you; a declaration wrapped in gold and pearls.
He wants you to see him as more than the shy, awkward boy who stumbles over his words and blushes too easily. More than the nerd who spends too much time working on equations and codes half the world doesn’t know about. More, just to have you look at him a bit closer.
He wants to be a man, one who badly wants you, in your eyes.
They’re gleaming with adorable excitement as they flicker back to his, sheepishly accompanying your quiet request, “Can you… put them on for me?”
Jeongguk is at your side in no time, handling the earrings with care while trying to keep his usual clumsiness at bay as he fastens the dainty jewels in place. He begins to understand why it’s hard to see him as anything else but gawky when he feels his heartbeat speed up from the simple way his skin is brushing against yours.
Namjoon’s voice cuts through the spell, playful, “Oh, what a pretty princess. Jeongguk truly has an eye for this stuff.”
With the group following with chuckles and mindless banter, Jeongguk feels uncharacteristically bold, gaze fixated entirely on you as he lets himself spill something meant for you only to hear, “I think it’s just you. You’re beautiful.”
You’re clearly caught off guard, and it stings a little when he realizes the only reason he doesn’t get to see you this flustered often is because he’s usually busy being the flustered one. Blinking up at him through your lashes, your laugh comes out a little breathless, and the sweet way you let your cheek rest on your shoulder has him daring to hope.
“Nerd.”
But no. There it is again.
That’s all he’ll ever be in your eyes.
He forces a smile that barely reaches his eyes, but you’re too engrossed with having your pearls admired by the rest of the group to notice. Those weren’t a waste; he would do it all the same. You deserve everything that makes your eyes shine, that brings the corners of your lips into that grin that shakes him, that can ever bring you joy. He just wishes it could bring you more than that; bring you to a bigger sentiment, a bigger realization.
Perhaps that’s why he can’t shake off the awful mood that pervades his senses throughout the rest of the night, the earrings hanging from your ears catching the twinkly, warm lights and mocking him with delighted amusement. There’s nothing else you can do, you nerdy boy.
Perhaps that’s also why, when the house starts to empty and you’re in his kitchen making yourself helpful with dishes, he slips on composure when you accidentally let a glass slide from your dainty hands.
It breaks the moment it meets the ground, and the sound penetrates his ears, both of you jumping at the impact. He hisses, “What— what the heck, ___!”
You’re startled, blinking up at him. It’s not the chaos from the glass, not its tiny pieces covering the floor and reaching your feet. It’s the deliberate frustration of his tone, one he’s never let free, especially with you.
You pant for apologies, but they can’t seem to be let out. Wide eyes jumping between his own bug ones, your brows draw up in shame. It has never been this easy to get him bothered. Hell, you’ve even struggled to.
Jeongguk only sighs, dragging a hand across his nape, and he regrets the quiet sharpness in his voice the second he lets it out, “God. Be more careful next time.”
He’s still quicker than you on his feet, moving to sweep the mess you’ve created before you can even react. You seem to move in slow, infinite motions, kneeling down to pick up the bigger pieces, all while keeping an unusual silence.
He steals a glance up at you, biting his lower pierced lip in sudden guilt, “Are you okay?”
Your hands pause, clutching a fragment of glass as your eyes flicker up to meet his. You nod, distant, and it does nothing to convince him.
He doesn’t even seem to be paying attention to your hesitant confirmation, rather he’s hyper-focused on your fingers, and before you realize the shift in his expression, he alarmedly blurts out, “Goldie. You’re bleeding.”
The sting barely registers for you until his words bring it to your attention. Looking down, you see a sharp, red line running across your finger, small but enough to make Jeongguk spring into action.
You’re lifted off the floor and ushered to the bathroom in fractions of seconds, letting yourself be handled like you don’t own your body. The only thing you want to be aware of is the switch in his behaviour. He’s back to normal once he’s in his quiet bubble of concentration, movements precise as he cleans the barely visible wound and carefully places a band aid over it.
All while he can’t stop apologizing, “I’m sorry for yelling at you. That was not your fault. But, this. This is my fa—”
“Jeongguk, it’s just a scratch.”
The way he meets your eyes with his face drawn tight and brows furrowed makes you rethink your statement. Maybe it’s more than a scratch. Maybe it’s the only thing that snapped him out of his frustrated daze.
“It doesn’t matter. You didn’t deserve that.”
Your first instinct is to giggle; it’s a resonance of the butterflies childishly swarming in your belly from the proximity and his careful words. Both your gazes soften as you accept each other, even the faulted versions of tonight, and a timid smile stretches over his lips.
You hesitate before speaking again, your mouth opening only to close, reconsidering your words; but then you finally let out what you had foolishly planned as your next desperate attempt to cling to him.
“Can you… My car is… Can you take me home?”
What you’re now sure you like the most about Jeongguk is how he caters to your needs before you even have to voice them. The soft kindness in his eyes, the way his body instinctively shifts to act before his mind even fully processes the request. He’s already nodding, ready to make it happen for you.
“Yeah. Of course.”
The heat in his car fans over your cheeks, dusting them with a soft red that has his Adam’s apple bobbing every time he turns to steal glances at you at stoplights. You keep talking, filling the air with contentment about the night’s events, and it’s like that subtle slip of his never happened.
It’s almost too easy to surrender and pretend that everything is fine, that he doesn’t feel the ache of wanting more. If staying a nerd in your eyes means getting to be this close, to hear your laughter, to see the slight curve of your lips as you speak, then maybe it’s enough.
His subtle gestures — adjusting the temperature so you’re comfortable, his hands gripping the steering wheel a little tighter when your giggles spill into the cabin — don’t go unnoticed. They settle into you and have your heart beating anticipatedly.
God, you won’t regret what you’re about to do.
By the time he pulls up in front of your place, you promptly turn to him before he can offer anything else, voice a bit too eager, “Would you like to come inside?”
“Huh—”
“I’ll show you my gift.”
Jeongguk sits on your couch, because you tell him to wait there. And of course, he’s a great listener. Very obedient, willing to follow your every order.
His fingertips drum restlessly on his thighs and he can only busy himself with his surroundings, every detail speaking for you. What’s definitely more prominent is the intoxicating scent of vanilla that clings in the air, of which he hopes his lungs inhale the entirety of, never getting enough of everything that is you.
When you come into his vision again, walking down the stairs in quiet steps, you’re tightly hugged in a trench coat, the textured belt cinched snugly around you and accentuating the small of your waist. Under it, your legs are bare. It has his mouth drying and his legs spreading stiffly on the couch.
He thought he got better at hiding his concerning infatuation. He hopes he did.
That’s why he initially manages to chuckle and attempt a joke, “Are you going somew—”
“Ta-da.”
Jeongguk doesn’t think he’s breathing. He doesn’t think he can even breathe anymore. His blinking fastens, brain stumbling over itself as it tries to make sense of what he’s sitting in front of.
You’ve loosened the coat just enough for the fabric to fall and reveal what you’ve carefully wrapped for him. You’re a gift coming in a red lingerie set clinging to your perfect curves, your boobs deliciously spilling out from the sides of your lace top and the line of your panties thin enough to leave little to the imagination.
He pants, scanning over your body once, twice, three times, questioning if the wine was perhaps laced with stronger substances, “What— What is this—”
“It’s my gift for you. Merry Christmas, Gguk.”
Meeting your face again, he nearly groans. You’re almost bare before him, yet you still sport a crimson blush and your teeth graze your bottom lip in a sheepish smile, in a way that is so achingly you. He can feel himself throbbing painfully in his pants. Thinks he could cum just from this view, tip over the edge without a single touch, no matter how bad he needs it.
“Fuck.”
You’ve barely ever heard Jeongguk curse throughout the time you’ve known him for. He only sometimes reserves that for his monitor, Overwatch games causing his composure to slip in adorable loud whispers.
But it’s like you’ve broken his dam, and he only lets more slip as you walk slowly but certainly closer to him, coat discarded on the floor, “Oh my, fuck. Holy shit. Thank you. Thank you. I— I don’t know what to do.”
It’s a quiet plea, the one that’s hidden in his strained words but clear in his full eyes glazed over with anticipation, his hands hovering uncertainly over his thighs, chest still heaving and struggling with manual breathing. He’s begging to feel deserving of this, to have you prove to him that it’s what you truly want for the both of you, to have you touching him and to be touching you.
He can’t help the moan that escapes him when you position yourself in between his spread legs, bodies close yet not touching, but he’s dying to feel you.
Now your turn to bend at his every request, your head tilts and your smile widens the more he’s forced to crane his neck up to keep your gazes connected, pending off your every syllable, “You don’t have to do anything. Will you let me take care of you?
“Yes, please,” the confirmation is immediate and empty of hesitance. Under you, Jeongguk nods promptly with his lips agape, watering with want when you straddle his lap to sit yourself on him.
He wails, throwing his head back and searching for all the strength it takes from holding back his instinct to snap up against your core, snuggled atop his raging hardness. At his shameless desperation, your giggles fill his ears, and when they’re followed by your cold hand on his cheek redirecting his gaze on yours, he feels feverish.
Delirious, eyes barely keeping from rolling back, his brain reduced to senseless blabbering, “My God. Thank you for this.”
With his brows adorably drawn up, he focuses on your dilated pupils now that your faces are mere centimetres apart, and you close the distance with small pecks that trace his jaw, up to his ear lobe, whispering against the skin, “Are you seriously thanking God while I’m about to take your virginity?
Jeongguk hisses in a frenzied surge, his hands still unsurely keeping from touching you, and your sarcastic pun has him full on rambling, “Shit, sorry. I don’t even believe in God. This just feels too good to be true. You look like a fucking angel.”
“Ggukkie, language!” Your seductive tone along with your chuckle reverberates right against his chest, your hands moving to lead your own palms up and down his broad front, and when you subtly roll your hips against his clothed length, he breaks into a cry.
“Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’ll come so soon,” you don’t know if it’s the adrenaline of the moment, but you’ve never witnessed such a bold Jeongguk. It only spurs you further, your hand traveling down, and down, until it sneaks under his sweater.
When you find his nipple, you playfully roll it between your pointer and thumb, his trembling body bucking up in an unstoppable urge, quiet whimpers working to keep his tone down. But you want to hear him scream under you, just as loud as you can feel his heart beating.
You bite your lip as your eyes drift downward, watching where your bodies meet in slow, teasing drags. His wide palms press into the cushions on either side of you, his knuckles turning white from the force of his grip, and when you lift your gaze to meet his face again the delicious buzz pooling low in your stomach intensifies, your lips parting instinctively. A pretty blush creeps up his neck, painting his sharp jaw and cheekbones in shades of red, and his eyes, clouded, desperate, and burning with unfiltered need, lock onto you with a gaze that makes your knees weak even as you straddle him.
The simple grinding through the layers of clothing you still have on has you releasing whiny gasps in the air, his cock sliding torturously between your folds, and if you’re so affected by every shift you can hardly fathom what he must be feeling under you.
So you wonder out loud, voice rough the more you feel his stiff nipple under your fingertips, “How long since you’ve been touched properly, hm?”
His body hiccups, shaking with the barely contained lust, “Since— Since you last did, goldie.”
You coo, slowing down your movements and bringing your fingers to the hem of his jumper only to lift it and toss it behind you carelessly, “You’re so sensitive, aren't you?” At the view of his exposed chest, you can’t help roaming the expanse of it and feeling the tensing muscles under your skin, and by now you’re sure your panties must be ruined.
“Puh— please,” the plea is barely coherent, whispered out messily through high-pitched moans, but he begs again, “I wanna touch you too.”
“Then…” You let your hands speak for you, moving them to lead his own big ones to rest at your thighs, letting them drag up the curve of your ass. You’re impossibly close to his lips now, fanning against them, “Feel me, Gguk.”
Unable to resist, you fall forward and catch his mouth with yours in a kiss that struggles to find a rhythm, that has your tongues tangled in an uncoordinated dance, but that inevitably has you both humming loudly in an effort to almost devour each other, and his hands digging in your bare skin only force a gasp out of you.
In an impatient rush, you urge him to unclasp your bra, his unpractised and shaky fingers being joined by your experienced ones to finally free you from the tight confines, and as much as he wants to make kissing you a sport just to win every gold medal and break record after record, he can’t help separating from your lips with a wet sound to look down at your exposed breasts.
Jeongguk groans, and this time he doesn’t need you guiding him. It’s his own palms moving to cup you, and the innocent, light feather touch causes you to throw your head back and resume your slow grinding on top of him.
Both of you are panting messes, his moans significantly louder the more he gets to knead at your softness only to slice his thumb over your hardened nipples, the contrast making his brows furrow in hazed need, and when you arch your back into him he squeezes your tit to his mouth, eliciting a surprised wail from you.
Even when he gets closer, your sensitive nub engulfed by his swollen lips, he keeps looking up at you for approval with wide, teary eyes that beg for you to praise him. And with a hand gripping his wavy locks, you nod repeatedly for him to keep going, “Fuck, baby. Just like that, oh my God.”
He hums lowly with his mouth stuffed, his fingers digging in your flesh the more you drag your cunt mercilessly over the outline of his thickness, and he has to release you with a pop and rest his head on the couch behind him, palms keeping you somewhat still by the waist, panting out a desperate request when he feels himself throb dangerously close to his high, “G—Goldie, I can’t. Don’t— Don’t wanna cum like this.”
You lift your hips just enough for the both of you to whimper at the loss of friction, and you murmur through a string of kisses along his exposed neck, “How do you want to cum then, huh?”
He only whines, cheeks flushed with want and eyes glossy, forehead creasing with the way his brows are stressing, “Please.”
You show no mercy, flashing him with a wicked smirk and a teasing tilt of your head, “Ah-ah. Say it.”
Gulping with effort, his waist twitches up unconsciously to seek for your touch once again, and with his face turned to the side he admits in the smallest voice, “‘Nside of you.”
“Good boy. Gonna give you exactly what you want.”
He voices a loud cry just from the sound of your promise, only echoing more intensely when you hastily work at his zipper. It’s messy, uncertain, and it elicits breathy giggles from the two of you, drunk on adoration and high on desire.
Eventually, he’s stripped free from his confines, and his cock stands proud and hard, veins pumping the blood that has it throbbing against his toned stomach.
Jeongguk can feel your hooded eyes on him, can sense his tip wettening with the simple way you seem starved and eager to taste him, your hand coming too close to where he needs you the most before he gently grabs your wrist to stop it.
Automatically, your head snaps up, and the look on his face is one of nervous desperation, “Wan’ you to kiss me, please.”
You’re ready to comply to his every demand, and this one is as easy as it gets. You want to give him everything— whatever he wants, however he wants it.
Your lips mold with his in worldless acceptance, absorbing all you were afraid to voice to each other, making up for all the time you wasted, devoting to a sealed promise, the one that dances between your connected tongues, saliva making it wet and breathless.
Even more when your slim fingers trail down his torso before wrapping around his length, your wrist expertly flicking in a teasing touch, and his moan is unrestrained as it tears through the kiss. You swallow the sound greedily, steadying you against his chest rising and falling in frantic pants.
Before he can protest, his own hips bucking up in a silent beg for more, you steal the air from his lungs when you move your panties to the side and align your entrance with his tip, just to sink down on it.
The drag is slow and it has both of your eyes rolling back, pleased groans filling the air and straining against your throat when you fully sit yourself wrapped around his dick. You search for him, “You okay?”
“Shit,” Jeongguk seems hypnotised by the view of his thickness wrecking you in half, and his palms come to rest at your waist where his fingers dig into the skin. Your own playing with the hair on his nape only seem to make him more vulnerable, “This is perfect. You feel so good and warm, fuck.”
You’re not used to hearing him curse so openly and so often, and it naturally makes you giggle, the sound tickling his ears and leading his dilated pupils to look up at you through his lashes. Your sweet laughter fades into a lasting smile, one he can’t help but kiss, even if it’s all teeth, the contagious sight of your happiness getting to him too.
The moment is sickeningly sweet, bodies connected in more ways than one. With your kiss only deepening and your chest melting against his, you pull him impossibly closer by the back of his neck and start attempting slow motions on top of him.
You hear him through his thundering heartbeat, “Goldie… I— I don’t think I can last any longer, I’m so sorry, I—”
“Oh, shit, baby,” one particular shift has his length, deeply stuffed in your tight walls, finding your spot and teasing it with an electric buzz that travels through your body, “It’s okay. I’m so close too.”
The moment you try a firmier bounce and feel him find you again, you can’t help the way your movements fasten, your moans thick and low against your throat, his own louder and ricocheting through the walls.
You steady yourself with one of you palms on his thigh, leaning your weight back and finding a new angle to fuck yourself on him. He watches in awe as you work your fingers on your clit, rapid circling movements causing his mouth to hang open at the squelching sounds.
He pants, his wide hands guiding your riding, pushing you up and down, “Can— Can I touch you?”
You hum, but it sounds more like a whine, “Hm, of course, pretty boy,” the hand that was stimulating your sensitive nub now comes behind you to help support yourself on both of his muscular thighs, flexing under every shift.
Jeongguk is unpracticed as he leads his thumb to rest at your clit, applying a soft pressure and mimicking the same pattern he observed from you. He only seems to be focusing on his doing for the first few moments before he searches up for the reaction on your face, and he whimpers when he finds your bottom lip trapped between your teeth, your brows drawn up in pleasure.
You smile at the unconscious twitch of his chin, and give him just what you know he wants, “Always seeking my approval. You’re so good.”
The simple praise only has him working on you with more confidence, collecting some of your wetness and sliding it up along your lips. He learns fast, listening to your every sound and centering on your pleasure, as best as he can with his own knot getting closer to bursting.
You’re clearly affected by the simulations, your hips stuttering and riding around him, but you still make sure to concentrate on him first, “I’ll tell you when to cum, hm? You’ll listen to me, right?”
Jeongguk nods before he even knows what he’s agreeing to, “Y—yes. Yes, yes, fuck. I’ll be good. Wanna be so, so good for you. Wanna c—cum for you.”
“You’re so filthy, baby. Naughty boy. Fuck me.”
His hips meet you up with harsh thrusts that have you lose your balance on him, and you can only throw yourself with your arms around his broad shoulders, face hidden in the crook of his neck as he lets his desire take over, fucking up into you with a desperate need for release.
You think you see stars with the way he relentlessly pounds your hole, wet folds sliding along his length and causing a mess between you, his own slickness mixed with yours trailing down and pooling at the base. The sounds are inglorious, and they merge perfectly with your wails.
Breathing in his scent, you know he’s close from the way his thrusts are stammering sloppily, and his moans are closer to strained whines. You concede, “F—Fucking cum, Gguk. Cum inside me, fuck.”
He nods, slamming you down to meet his movements, desperate to feel you before he can stop himself, “Cum with me, pleas— Oh.”
When your walls spasm around him with your orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave, causing you to shake in his embrace around you, he feels himself cum unannounced, hard and thick, sprouts of white liquid relentlessly pumping inside your warmth.
You milk him dry, both your wails drained with the effort and fading into breathless gasps, his arms around you falling limply at his sides. You’re sprawled on his chest, emptied from any energy, and he is just as spent with his head lolling against the back of the couch.
But you feel it in your heartbeats syncing, the realization of what happened, what finally happened. You feel it in his face moving down to find your lips and catch them in a sweet peck, his fingers trailing up again to trace lazy patterns on your back before tangling in your hair, grounding himself in you.
It’s your own smiles breaking through the kiss, lashes tickling, and both of you laugh senselessly as you come down from the moment.
“Fuck,” Jeongguk breathes out, voice raspy, “This was the best Christmas gift ever.”
You snicker, biting your lip to hold back your amusement, “Oh, baby. It was just an excuse to fuck you. I actually did forget your gift at home.”
“W—What?” His brows shoot up, his post-orgasm haze momentarily replaced with incredulity as his cheeks redden even more.
When Jeongguk straightens on the couch, so do you, steadying your weak frame with your hands splayed against his chest. Sheepishly, you confess, “Yeah. Bought you that Mario game yo—“
“Princess Peach: Showtime?”
“Yea—”
Jeongguk gasps dramatically, his excitement so pure it’s almost jarring considering what just transpired, and that he’s no longer a virgin, “God, I fucking love— that game. That is the best Christmas gift ever.”
You can’t hold back your laughter this time, shaking your head at how easily he slips back into his usual self, the one that had you buying a Victoria’s Secret set in that shade of burgundy he said he didn’t like just to attempt a crazy chance at having him.
Leaning forward, you press a lingering kiss to his lips that brings you back to the realization that you finally did get to have him, before murmuring against them, “Well, that and a second round. What do you say?”
“Please.”
#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook au#jungkook imagine#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook x female reader#jungkook x original character#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x oc#bts smut#bts imagines#bts fic#bts series#bts x reader#bts#bts x you#bts x y/n#bts x fem!reader#🦌: christmas & chill#📁c&c: intro
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I’ve Been a Naughty Girl! - A Sukuna x Reader Fanfic
The mall Santa is hot as hell, and your friends dare you to sit on his lap and tell him you’ve been a very naughty girl!
Smut. 18+. Sukuna as a mall Santa. Fem Reader. Very rough (but consensual) sex and oral sex. Cream pies.
Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more!
Part of CandyCandy’s Kinkmas 2024!
The mall is crowded, full of busy shoppers buying last minutes gifts. It’s only three days until Christmas after all. To be honest, you enjoy the hustle and bustle, the excited energy that seems to fill the mall along with the holiday music blasting through the speakers.
Every store has garland covered in clear lights draped across the aisles, wreaths hang on every door, and in the very center of the mall stands an enormous Christmas tree.
Your friends came along with you to pick up some items, and the four of you are having a blast. Especially when you walk by the giant tree. At the base of it, there’s a roped off section where kids are lined up to meet “Santa Clause”.
One by one they sit on his lap, tell him what they want for Christmas, and smile for the commemorative photo. You have fond memories of doing that as a kid, but you don’t remember Santa ever looking like this.
You and your friends all stop and stare, your mouths slightly open and your eyes wide. Because this Santa is hot as hell. He’s huge, tall and muscular enough to make the big red chair he’s sitting in seem tiny. The fake beard does little to cover the black tattoos on his face, and pink hair is sticking out of the back of his hat.
The kid on his lap is screaming, throwing a loud tantrum while the mother seemingly pays it no mind. The little boy is yelling about some kind of toy he wants that the store is sold out of, demanding that Santa make one for him and bring it Christmas morning.
You watch as the buff Santa leans down and whispers something into the kid’s ear. The boy instantly falls silent, looking up at Santa with a terrified expression. The boy doesn’t move a muscle or make a sound until the photo is taken and his confused mother pulls him off Santa’s lap.
“Wow,” one of your friends says beside you, “I wouldn’t mind being on his naughty list.”
You laugh and say, “Same. He can deck my halls any time!”
All of you giggle, then your friends start to walk away. You stay rooted to the spot, still watching the man. There’s an animalistic attraction drawing you to him, something primal and powerful. You just can’t look away from him.
Your friends look from you to the Santa, probably noticing the look of lust in your eyes.
“Just go talk to him,” one of them says.
“And say what?” you ask. “I can’t just walk up to the mall Santa and tell him I wanna fuck him!”
Your friend grins. “Actually, you can. Get in line and go sit on his lap.”
“Oh come on, that’s for kids! They’d probably kick me out of the mall for that,” you say.
Your other friends have stepped back over, wearing excited expressions.
“Do it!” one of them cheers.
“I dare you!” the other says.
You look back toward the Santa, and his eyes suddenly shift up, meeting yours. A smile spreads over his face, but it’s not the jolly Santa smile you expected. This is a devious, predatory smile. All teeth.
God, you’re already getting wet.
“Okay, I’ll do it,” you announce. “But if I get in trouble you guys better be ready to bail me out!”
Your friends laugh and playfully push you toward the line. When you get there, the kids and parents give you looks ranging from confused to offended. It’s embarrassing to be standing there, but it’s the only idea you have for talking to this very sexy Santa.
The wait is torture. With every child that takes their turn, you get closer, and you grow more nervous. What if he thinks you’re being ridiculous? What if you just imagined the attraction in his gaze when he smiled at you?
Oh well, it’s too late to back out now. The child in front of you in line is smiling for the photo, and you’re next.
When it’s your turn, the “elf” ushers you forward, seeming completely disinterested in an adult wanting to meet Santa. Maybe others have done this today. You wouldn’t be surprised.
You gather your courage and walk over to Santa. You’ve been mentally rehearsing what you’re going to say, how you’re going to get him all riled up. You’re hoping to leave with his number.
He pats his lap when you’re standing right in front of him, and you giggle nervously as you sit on one of his muscular thighs. As soon as you do, he reaches down and pulls both your legs up, so that you’re fully sitting across his lap. His hand is resting on your thighs, just above your knees.
You’re so glad you wore a short skirt today.
The “elf” suddenly looks concerned, their eyes darting about to see if anyone else is noticing this inappropriate scene. They’re probably wondering if they should say something. In that case, you should probably act fast.
“Santa, I’ve been a very naughty girl this year,” you tell him in your sweetest voice.
His grip on your thigh tightens slightly. “I happen to like naughty girls,” he replies, his voice deep and smooth. “So what do you want for Christmas?”
You giggle again, shifting just a little, enough for him to feel your ass moving in his lap. Then you lean in close to his ear and say, “I want a big, tall guy with tattoos to fuck me until I can’t walk.”
You expected his eyes to widen in surprise, perhaps a shocked expression. But no, this Santa simply grins at you. “If that’s what you want, I can give you your present right now.”
Huh? Right now?!
He slides you off his lap and stands up, taking you by the hand and leading you away from the chair. The elf looks horrified.
“Hey, your break’s not for another hour!”
Some of the kids begin whining, crying out, “Where are you going, Santa?”
A parent huffs an incredulous, “We’ve been waiting in line for thirty minutes!”
Santa has nearly pulled you to the edge of the roped off area before he stops and turns back to look at them all. He gives them a look. Just a single glance, and it’s enough to silence them all. Then he lifts the rope, pulls you under it with him, and heads to the south end of the mall.
You let yourself be pulled. With every step, your heart beats faster. Where is he even taking you?
He makes a turn down a hallway, toward the restrooms. Is he going to fuck you in a stall? But no, he walks right past them and through a door clearly marked as “Employees Only”.
Your excitement builds even more. Now you really do feel naughty, stepping into a section of the mall you’re not supposed to be in. As a kid you once snuck into an area like this in another mall, and even though nothing happened, you still felt like such a rebel. That same feeling is creeping back into your mind. Because this time, something will definitely happen.
He leads you past several doors, probably break rooms and offices, before opening one and pulling you inside. It’s pitch dark until he flips on the light switch, revealing an empty office. There’s a couple of desks but no computers on them or even chairs to sit on. You suppose that’s why no one is using it.
The lock on the door clicks, and your heart nearly stops. You turn to face him, but just as you do, he suddenly rushes forward, pushing you against the nearest wall in the cramped little room and covering your mouth with his. You don’t even remember when he pulled the fake beard off.
Apparently he’s not interested in chatting or even exchanging names. “Santa” it is then.
You raise your arms when he pauses to pull your sweater up and over your head, then unhook your bra yourself just to speed things up. You’re as hungry for him as he seems to be for you.
He yanks down your skirt, leaving you in cute candy cane striped panties and your red ankle boots. Before stripping you any further, he practically tears off the black leather belt around his waist and jerks open his red Santa coat.
Oh. Oh god. Those tattoos line his well sculpted torso, absolutely mesmerizing you. Your mouth goes dry, your pussy gets wetter, and you can’t resist putting your hands on his chest, tracing the black inky lines with your fingers.
He allows you a few seconds to admire his body, then puts one firm hand on your bare shoulder. “Kneel,” he says in an authoritative tone that sends a shiver down your spine.
You’re happy to comply, dropping to your knees in front of him as he unbuttons his pants. You watch with breathless excitement as he lowers his pants slightly and pulls out the biggest cock you’ve ever seen. In thickness and in length, no other cock can even compare. Fuck, he’s going to wreck you.
Leaning forward, you place one hand on the meaty organ. Your fingers can’t even reach all the way around it, but you begin stroking it anyway before giving it a few kitten licks just to tease him. When you look up, you realize he’s not a man to be teased.
Not the least bit amused, he says, “Open your mouth, naughty girl.”
You open as widely as you can, and he shoves into your mouth, instantly hitting the back of your throat. You gag, but keep yourself under control. He grips your hair with one hand and begins pumping in and out, your lips automatically tightening around him while your tongue fights to keep moving along his length. Your throat’s going to be raw tomorrow, but right now you don’t care.
He keeps moving, keeps shoving himself down your throat while holding your head steady. You’ve never had your mouth fucked so aggressively before, but it’s got you so turned on, your hand slips down the front of your panties.
You hear him laugh above you as his grip on your hair tightens. “You really are a naughty girl, huh?”
His cock is throbbing in your mouth, his pulse quickening as your throat constricts around his tip. You think he’s close, but it’s another five minutes before he pulls almost completely out and then shoots his entire hot sticky load onto your tongue. His cum floods your mouth, so much that you’re struggling to swallow it all fast enough to take a breath.
When you finally get it all down, you pant for a few minutes. He helps you to your feet, which is likely the closest you’re going to get to gentlemanly behavior.
Which is fine. There’s plenty of sweet guys you can call if you wanna be fucked like a delicate princess. Today, you want to be ruined.
His hands are on your hips before you have time to be shocked that he’s hard again already. With one jerk, your panties are in shreds. Then he’s lifting you up by your waist and shoving you against the wall, his own body pinning you there, your feet dangling above the floor.
He wastes no time with talking or asking if you’re ready. He knows you’re drenched and practically in tears, wanting him inside you as soon as possible. So he buries himself completely in your warm, tight pussy, going all the way in, pressing into your cervix.
For a moment, you see stars. You open your mouth but no sound comes out. But then he begins thrusting, and you find your voice.
“F-fuck…! S’too big!”
He grins down at you. “Oh? I thought a naughty girl like you could take me.”
Not wanting to be outdone, you wrap your legs around him and clench as tightly as you can, your hands moving up to hold onto his shoulders. “I can take you, Santa,” you say, though your voice is shaky.
You’ve never felt so full in your life. It’s like he’s hollowing you out. But your arousal is dripping out around him and you can feel your pulse in your clit. His hard body rubs across it with every thrust, leaving you moaning and babbling.
“So good… gonna cum… please let me cum, Santa!”
“Not yet,” he says, fucking into you even harder. You whine and wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your teary face into his wide shoulder. Your whole body is trembling.
He suddenly shoves in so deep, you think he’s in your rib cage. “I’ve got an extra special present for this naughty little pussy,” he says. “So take it!”
With that, thick ropes of cum shoot inside you, even more than he shot in your mouth. And as he’s filling you up, he says, “Now you can cum.”
You release all the tension in your body, stop fighting the raging orgasm that’s been beating on your door, begging to be let loose. You cum so hard you cry, clinging to his neck while you quiver in his arms and his cum continues spilling into you.
Once it’s over, your spent legs slide from his body and he pulls out, letting your feet touch the floor again. Cum pours out of your pussy, dripping down your thighs while you pant and lean against the wall.
After a few minutes, you stumble over to an empty desk and place one hand on it to keep yourself steady.
“Uh oh, looks like you can still walk,” you hear Santa say. With wide eyes you look back at him. He’s grinning that same predatory grin. “Guess I haven’t granted your wish yet.”
You can only let out an exhausted groan as he bends you over the desk and lifts one of your shaky legs up, plunging his cock back into your sticky, cum filled cunt.
Maybe you bit off a little more than you can chew with this Santa. But it’s a Christmas you’ll never forget.
As his hand reaches down and around to rub your aching clit, you cry out in pleasure, your fingernails scratching the chipped paint on the desk. And you realize he’s just getting started.
He laughs when you start babbling again, fucking you even harder as he says, “Looks like you’re getting what you want for Christmas, naughty girl!”
Tag List:
@coldluminarykoala @atomicweaselpaperapricot @chocoyanchan @calculust-prime
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Chapter Sixteen: Crossing the Line (Sabo x Reader)
Chapter Sixteen: Crossing the Line Warnings: None Chapter Fifteen: "Friends" Chapter Seventeen: Cooking Up Memories
As the weeks pressed on, life gradually resumed its usual rhythm. Koala and Hack drifted off in their own directions, caught up with their responsibilities and personal plans, leaving Sabo and [Name] to spend more time alone together. “Want to take a walk?” Sabo suggested one afternoon, dropping down onto the bench beside [Name]. He stretched out his legs, letting out a quiet sigh. “I’m feeling a bit restless.”
[Name] cocked her head toward him. “You need a shower first. I can see the outline of your muscles through your shirt.”
She delivered the tease with ease, though her words held no weight. If anything, she welcomed the view, though she’d never admit that. Not yet, at least.
Sabo’s lips curled into a playful glare, and he raised an eyebrow as if to challenge her. “Oh, so you’re staring, now?”
While he acted unfazed, her comment sparked a flicker of pride in his chest. He couldn’t help but swell up a little at the thought of her noticing.
[Name] scoffed, crossing her arms to feign innocence. “I’m merely pointing out the obvious. You look like you just climbed out of the sea.”
“Good to know I’m making an impression,” Sabo replied, though the mischievous glint in his eyes lingered as he studied her.
In response, she rolled her eyes, turning her head away to hide the warmth creeping up her face. “Go take your shower or I’m leaving without you.”
“Fine, fine.” Sabo threw his hands up in surrender but couldn’t resist adding one last quip as he walked off. “Try not to miss me too much while I’m gone.”
[Name] let out an exasperated groan though her smile persisted, betraying her. “Idiot,” she muttered under her breath, shaking her head.
But as she sat back down and let the quiet settle around her, she couldn’t help but let her thoughts linger on him. The teasing tone of his voice, the way his eyes lit up when they bantered, the way he somehow managed to get under her skin in the most unexpected ways. She loved every minute of it.
Restless, [Name] decided to pester Shun while she waited. She wandered into his workshop, careful with her steps as she snuck up behind him. He was hunched over his drawing board, so engrossed in his work that he didn’t notice her approach.
“Yo,” she said suddenly, projecting her voice with the intent of giving him a good scare.
Shun jolted upright with a startled yelp, his knee bumping the edge of the table. The drawing board wobbled precariously before toppling forward with a loud thud. He spun around, fixing [Name] with a glare as she stood there, hands raised in mock surrender, her expression anything but apologetic.
“Sorry,” she sheepishly said, though she let out a small giggle.
Shun sighed dramatically as he propped the board back into place. “You couldn’t help yourself, could you? What do you want, brat?”
[Name] grinned, leaning forward to glance at the board. “Nothing. I’m just waiting for Sabo to finish his shower.”
Shun’s smirk was instant. “Oh, waiting on your boyfriend, huh?” Her smile dropped, her brain short-circuiting as the words registered. “W-what—He’s not—Shun! You know we’re not—”
Shun tilted his head, feigning innocence. “I know you two aren’t what?”
“Stop acting dumb, Shun!” [Name] snapped, her voice cracking as her face grew hot, the tips of her ears burning. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
Shun crossed his arms, giving her a knowing look that only made her flustered state worse. “Well, I’m just counting down the days, now. After that little speech of his, I'd even fall for him.”
Despite herself, [Name] let out a small, breathy chuckle. “Oh, you would, would you? Well, he hasn’t exactly asked me out again since… you know.”
Shun rolled his eyes, his tone flat. “Are you stupid? You rejected him not that long ago. Why would he ask you out, again? The good ones don’t ask more than once, you know.”
Her face fell slightly as she bit her lip. She knew he was right. Sabo wouldn’t want to push after what had happened. He probably didn’t even realize her feelings for him. But how could she know when the right time was? The more she thought about it, the more tangled her thoughts became.
“Well, I rejected him in a brutal way, and even after that, he still stuck by me…” she trailed off, her voice quieter. “How do I make it up to him?”
Shun shrugged, his casual demeanor making it sound like the answer was obvious. “Take him out on a date or make him one of your homemade pumpkin pies. That boy loves to eat.”
Both of them went pale, a shared memory of Sabo’s insatiable appetite flashing vividly through their minds.
“Maybe not too much food,” [Name] muttered, her voice tinged with playful horror. “I don’t want to go bankrupt over one meal.”
Shun smirked, grabbed his tools, and turned away from her. “That’s what happens when you fall for a bottomless pit. You sure you’re ready for that kind of commitment?”
“I never said I fell for him,” she shot back quickly, though her face betrayed her.
Shun snorted, clearly unconvinced. “Right. That’s why you’re lurking around here acting like a restless puppy, waiting for him to finish his shower.”
[Name] glared at him, though she couldn’t stop the corner of her mouth from twitching upward. “You’re so annoying, you know that?”
“It’s my job to be honest.” Shun shrugged, his tone casual, though there was something gentler in his gaze now. “Just don’t overthink it too much. If you like him, show it. It’s not like he isn’t head-over-heels for you already.”
Her heart skipped a beat at his words, a flurry of butterflies erupting in her stomach. Just thinking of Sabo’s feelings for her was exhilarating and terrifying all at once. “Ugh,” [Name] groaned, clasping her hands on her cheeks. “Okay, I’ll talk to him today.” She just wanted to cuddle and love him till he was sick of her.
Shun laughed, content with her sudden change in mood. It was refreshing to see her so open and smitten, as opposed to the distant look in her eyes she used to have. “Anyway, now that you’re done distracting me, let me get back to fixing this mess.”
[Name] leaned forward, squinting at the half-drawn designs. “Looks like you finally got your robot to listen to you. Why do you look so unsatisfied?”
Shun groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Because it listens too well. I managed to get it to follow commands, but it doesn’t distinguish who’s giving them. If the enemy gives it an order, it’ll still obey. I need to find a way to make it respond to specific people only.”
[Name] whistled low, her brow furrowing thoughtfully. “That’s a pretty big problem. What about voice recognition?”
“Already thought of that,” Shun replied, tapping a pencil against his chin. “The tech isn’t reliable enough yet. There’s still too much margin for error.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” [Name] patted his shoulder, earning a tired glare. “You’re a genius, after all.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Shun muttered, though a faint smile tugged at his lips. “Now get out of here and stop bugging me.”
[Name] grinned as she turned to leave. “Fine, fine. Try not to blow anything else up while I’m gone.”
“Try not to confess your feelings too loudly when Sabo comes back,” Shun called after her, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Shut up, Shun!” she shot back over her shoulder, though the smile on her face lingered as she walked out.
When she stepped outside again, the breeze hit her face, calming the nerves Shun’s words had stirred up. Shun’s advice replayed in her head. Maybe it really was time to stop overthinking and start doing something about how she felt. She no longer had any excuses not to go for it. And if nothing else, at least she wouldn’t have to wait long. Sabo was already walking toward her, his blond hair still damp and tousled, and he had a bright smile on his face.
“Took you long enough,” [Name] said, crossing her arms.
Sabo chuckled. “I was gone for thirty minutes.”
“Too long,” she quipped, though her voice was softer this time.
He tilted his head, studying her with curiosity. “You’re in a good mood. Did something happen?”
She shook her head, brushing past him lightly as she began walking. “Nope. Just thinking about taking someone’s advice.”
Sabo blinked, completely oblivious. “Whose advice?”
[Name] shot him a mischievous look over her shoulder. “You’ll see.”
Sabo furrowed his brows, clearly confused, but followed after her anyway. “You’re so weird sometimes.”
“And you’re just figuring that out now?” she joked, her laughter echoing through the air as they walked together, side by side. “Come on. I owe you a walk, remember?”
Sabo grinned, quickening his pace until he fell in step beside her. “You sure do.”
The two took a right, their banter drifting with them as they found their way out of the building. The moonlight greeted them warmly, casting a subtle glow on the two. The moment couldn’t have been more perfect.
“Hey, Sabo,” [Name] called, her voice tinged with uncertainty as she fidgeted with her fingers. “I wanted to… thank you… for everything you’ve done for me over the years. You’ve been someone irreplaceable and… one of the biggest supporters in my life.”
Sabo blinked, surprise flickering across his face. “Where’s this coming from, [Name]? You’re not one to get sappy.”
She let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of her head. “Well, yeah, but I’ve realized I’ve never told you how much I appreciate you. Especially with everything that happened with the Celestial Dragon incident…” Her voice softened, her gaze dropping briefly. “And… I feel a bit guilty about the other situation.”
At her words, Sabo’s brows furrowed, his smile fading as he caught on. “Listen, [Name]. Forget about the confession. I’d never want something so little to affect our friendship. I care about you too much to let my feelings cloud that. And I definitely don’t want you to feel guilty about it, either.”
[Name] let out a frustrated sigh, her attempt at explaining clearly not going how she wanted. “That’s not exactly why I feel guilty, Sabo.” Sabo turned to her, confusion clear in his expression. “Then what exactly do you feel guilty about? Honestly, I’d rather you just not feel guilty and move on from it. You’ve been doing enough of that as is.”
His words pushed a nerve, her frustration bubbling over. “Forget about it? Do you hear yourself right now?”
Her tone came out sharper than she intended, and it instantly shut Sabo up. He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly avoiding her gaze. The last thing he wanted was to argue, especially now that they’d gotten back on good terms.
“Sorry, [Name],” he said softly, his voice gentle. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Unfortunately, his apology only made her more agitated. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down.
“I’m not looking for an apology,” she muttered, rubbing her temples. “I’m trying to apologize to you.”
Sabo opened his mouth to argue, his confusion written all over his face. “But I already told you—”
“God, will you just shut up and listen?!”
Before Sabo could say another word, [Name] grabbed his collar, yanking him down until their lips met. It was brief, over in a second, but it was enough to freeze him completely and derail his thoughts. When she pulled back, she gave his stunned face a satisfied look, crossing her arms like she hadn’t just stolen his ability to function.
“Oh, now you’re quiet,” she muttered, her face a bit hot, though she refused to acknowledge it.
Sabo stood still, his face flaming red as he stared at her, completely dumbfounded. “W-What–”
“What I’m trying to apologize for,” she interrupted sharply, though her voice wavered slightly, “is not being completely honest when I rejected you.”
Sabo blinked once. Twice. The gears in his brain were struggling to turn, but he nodded anyway, still too stunned to form words.
“Good,” [Name] huffed, turning her head away. “Now that you’re listening, maybe you’ll actually hear me out for once.”
Sabo finally managed to swallow, his voice quiet and shaky when he replied, “I-I’m listening.”
She glanced at Sabo, feeling the weight begin to lift off her chest. “I’ve liked you for quite a while now,” she admitted softly, the words heavier than she expected. “That night when you confessed, it made me so happy. But at the time, I couldn’t accept it. I couldn’t just say ‘yes’ without being honest with you.” She took a shaky breath, her gaze drifting away. “I couldn’t drag you into something like that without telling you everything but at the same time, I wasn’t ready to face what might happen if you found out.”
Sabo swallowed hard, his heart pounding. “You’re not just saying that because you feel like you owe me, right? You really like me?”
[Name] gave him an exasperated look. “While your little speech was heartwarming, you really think I’d do that?” [Name] thought back to Sabo’s speech. “Though, according to Shun, it seemed like you got him swooning with that dramatic speech of yours.”
Sabo, flustered, ignored her teasing, his gaze locked on her. The intensity of his stare made [Name] feel self-conscious, and she shifted slightly under the weight of his eyes, anticipating what he might say next.
“You like me?” he repeated, his voice almost in disbelief, as though trying to process the words again.
[Name] couldn’t help but burst into laughter, the tension between them breaking. “Did I break you?”
A grin spread across Sabo’s face, the relief and joy evident in his expression. “Oh, yeah. You definitely did.” Without another word, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. [Name] quickly returned the gesture, her arms circling around him.
“I’m glad to know I wasn’t going crazy,” Sabo mumbled into her hair. “The whole reason I confessed was because I thought you felt the same way.”
[Name] pulled back slightly to look at him, a teasing glint in her eyes. “Guess your instincts were right,” she said with a smirk. “Should I reward you?”
Sabo’s eyes widened. “God yes. Please.”
[Name] chuckled softly, her fingers lightly tracing his jaw as she guided his face toward hers. This time, they kissed slowly, savoring the moment. No rush, no second thoughts. Just the quiet certainty that they were finally on the same page.
#sabo x reader#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece x you#One piece x y/n#one piece sabo#one piece reader insert#revolutionary sabo#revolutionary army
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Heat Miser
This is a bit of a double gift one for @fanfiction4sooya and one for the lady who runs this page specifically
To Lua when I started writing again I wanted to follow more female writers and by far you have been the kinder and most helpful in terms of having me feel less loss in different exploration of ideas and understanding. So from the bottom of my heart I give you the biggest obrigado
To Maggy you despite your crippling anxiety about being tracked you found me and pushed me to start writing again. So thank you for getting me back into shape.
The living room is alive with the warm hum of laughter, clinking glasses, and the soft crackle of the fireplace. Strings of twinkling lights cast a cozy glow over the room, their reflection dancing in ornaments hanging from the Christmas tree. You’re nestled into the corner of the couch, the comfortable cushions cradling your tired body after hours of playing host. Around you, your friends are engaged in animated conversations, exchanging gifts, and snapping pictures under the mistletoe.
Jihyo is in the center of it all, radiant and magnetic, holding court as she always does. Her laughter rings out like a bell, drawing everyone in. You can’t help but admire her from afar, but tonight, a small pang of selfishness tugs at your chest. You just want a quiet moment alone with your girl.
Without drawing attention, you slip your phone out of your pocket and type a quick message: "hey babe I need some attention."
The second you hit send, you tuck your phone away and push yourself off the couch, blending into the social swirl. If you’re going to sneak a moment with Jihyo later, you might as well make a good impression as a host now. You grab a refill for someone’s drink, laugh at a joke you only half-heard, and dodge a particularly heated debate about holiday movie rankings.
That’s when you notice me—standing awkwardly in the hallway near the stairs, looking like I’m trying to disappear into the wallpaper. I’m shifting uncomfortably, tugging at the collar of my sweater, clearly out of my element. Something about the way I linger at the edge of the crowd tugs at your latent maternal instinct.
You weave through the throng of people and approach me, your voice soft but audible over the festive noise. "Hey, is everything alright?"
I nod quickly, offering a polite but strained smile. "Yeah, just…a little overwhelmed. It’s really warm in here."
You nod in understanding and glance toward the fireplace and the tightly packed crowd. "Yeah, sorry about that. My baby girl loves to keep things hot," you say, smiling apologetically.
I chuckle weakly at your joke but shake my head. "No worries. Do you know somewhere cooler?"
You hesitate, your mind flipping through options. You could send me to one of the upstairs rooms, but the thought makes you pause. Jihyo might finally peel herself away from the party to answer your text, and you want the space to yourselves when she does. After a brief moment of consideration, you gesture toward the sliding glass doors at the back of the house.
"Why don’t you head to the guest house by the pool? It’s quiet out there, and you can cool off for a bit."
Relief washes over my face as I nod. "Thanks. I appreciate it."
You watch as I slip through the sliding doors and out into the crisp night air, disappearing toward the softly lit guest house. Satisfied that I’ll find some peace, you turn back to the party, scanning the room for Jihyo. You're not waiting for long as two hands cover your eyes.
"I hear you're looking for me," Jihyo says in her low sultry voice. You rub your thighs together as her voice always manages to heat things up between the two of you.
"That depends are you gonna be a good girl for mommy," you hear Jihyo stifle a moan as you use the tone that sends a jolt right to her core.
"Yes. I love being a good girl for mommy," Jihyo says submissive and pliant. You smirk and tell her to meet you in your bedroom in 15 minutes.
"But mommy?" Jihyo begs
"Is that back talk?" you question quickly silencing the smaller woman.
"No I just need you," she says as she rubs her thighs together the wetness between them drives her crazy.
You nod then reply, "I know but I need you a little bit more hot and bothered." Jihyo's eyes widen as you walk to your room. While waiting for your lovely girlfriend you turn on the heater in your room and slowly strip. By the time Jihyo is supposed to come in you already have a nice layer of sweat building around your skin.
When she enters she sees your bare body waiting for her. She whimpers and says, "Momo I'm so hot." you smile and respond.
"I know darling, Now eat Mommy then we'll see what we can do for you." Jihyo happily approaches as she wedges herself between your legs. She first starts by doing small semi-circles around your clit causing you to moan as her hot tongue sets your nerves alight.
"That's it, baby girl, keep licking Mommy," you say encouraging Jihyo to continue. Jihyo moans as she slowly inches into your pussy. You smile and yelp as her tongue dips into your walls.
"fuck you moan," as Jihyo continues to tongue fuck you. You groan as your eyes roll into the back of your head before you reach your limit. You cum all over your baby girl's face and the heat between you two only intensifies as you bring Jihyo up to your face your taste still lingering on her face as the two of you make out.
You playfully paw at her breasts causing Jihyo to moan into your kiss,
"Oh mommy," Jihyo says before aligning yourselves together. You smile as you bite her bottom lip causing Jihyo even more pleasure as the two of you get closer. You push Jihyo down as you rut on top of her. Jihyo moans as she feels the heat inside her rage into a fiery tempest. Her moans melodically fill the room as you dominate her further.
"Yes, Mommy" Jihyo repeats like a mantra as she reaches Nirvana. You smile watching your baby girl reach her climax. After she does you get up and begin dressing yourself while Jihyo cools down from your little session.
"Please do hydrate baby girl Mommy doesn't want you becoming mush now," You say coyly as you region the party.
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The “hello _ from _” meme but it’s Akita from Ninjago and Wolf from Kipo. After they say their hellos Akita turns into a wolf and Wolf gets ready to kill her.
(Kipo and Lloyd have to come in and stop their respective dumbasses.)
#chat do we fw this or is this reference too niche#sorry for the manic rambles i thought about wolf for just too many seconds#i will never get over her backstory and trauma#‘’but so is your prey’’ has permanently altered my brain chemistry#i *will* draw this just give a hot minute#kipo#kipo and the age of wonderbeasts#kipo wolf#wolf kipo#wolfina something the third oak you will always be famous to me#i need to rewatch kipo jeez#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago ice chapter#ninjago akita#akita ninjago
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𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍… 𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚗𝚍
Indie Multimuse Roleplay Blog 🌻 Hero of Time origins, Est. October 2014, Rev. to multimuse January 26th, 2023 🌻 Please read rules and muse info before interacting 🌻 A.U, O.C, Crossover, Multiverse, and Multiship friendly 🌻 Multi-para, Novel, Lit style 🌻 Threads are mutual exclusive 🌻 Inbox is open to all (personal/non-roleplay blogs included)
Art by the wonderful Worvies ♡
#SELF PROMO 🌸 ᶠˡᵒʷᵉʳˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵗʰᵉ ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉⁿ#Ace Attorney RP#Roleplay promo#RP promo#Multimuse rp#self promo#roleplay blog#rp blog#multimuse roleplay#multimuse blog#Please go show Worvies some love over on twitter-- send them some money on Ko-Fi because they're going through a time#Their art is SO GORGEOUS and I ADORE how they draw Phoenix. Like. Please just go give them some love and attention.#They do more than just Ace Attorney stuff even if it's their bread and butter c:#Anyways... been a hot minute since I did a promo and... well... I couldn't go to sleep until I was done c':#Whoops.. I forgot... ANYWAYS.. lemme go... passout in bed now LOL
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TEENAGE METAL HEAD KAFKA
So a couple people had posted some fanart of a sort of Rock band AU starring Reno, Hoshina, and Narumi, right?
Here's the thing... I have had this idea for a while now. I have plans to talk about this in some up and coming fics... This has a severe choke-hold on my brain and I had no intention to express this any other way until I saw the fanart this morning. Apologies while I try to ride the coattails of others success because I NEED other people to be obsessed with this so I can stop feeling alone in this idea
I'm going to go into more detail about my headcanons for this particular idea in the fic this pertains to when it comes out, but I just wanna say that I like to think he had a shit-ton of piercings. He still has his nose ring hole, but he doesn't wear it anymore because he had to lose it to get a job. It freaks the shit out of Iharu and Reno when he cleaned it out at base though. The guitar is supposed to be black with gold streaks running through it kinda like how they do kintsugi, but he was already wearing a lot of black already and I haven't mastered shading that well just yet. And I originally wanted to have him wear the School of Rock Jacketless Leather Sleeves but I chickened out at the last second. The pose with the guitar was originally going to be based off of one I found of Sleep Token, but the pose didn't turn out right. Now instead of looking badass like I wanted, now there's just a corner with him looking cozy.
Honestly, a major part in how I characterize him is him acting like an Elder Badass Mother fucker. Like I get he's supposed to be goofy until shit hits the fan, but I would like to see him be cool in his off time too. He would absolutely be the last one on base anyone would expect to have almost tasted stardom, like he got to sing duet with Five Finger Death Punch or something. Of course he's not the type to brag about it or anything, he's just the type to be casual about having all these moments where he got to rub elbows with a lot of famous musicians. I can just see him getting into a fight with Narumi over a band or something and Kafka pulls out the "Buddy, I was supporting them back when they were the opening act for Black Sabbath. I still have the autographed tour list t-shirt from '86!" (For context, Black Sabbath is 55 years old.)
#I don't know if it's just me but I found out that when you draw men you have to give them weirdly long torsos#I'm not used to drawing men i don't know if that's obvious#God Bless AR drawing apps#If I didnt use it this probably would have taken me a month#and I wanted to get this out while the Rocker Fanart was still fresh in everyone's mind#I don't know what happened to the outfit in the upper left corner#it was supposed to be just a corset vests without the sleeves#I wanted to have him breasting boobily and I failed#I did NOT intent to make it look like I gave him Narumi's dye job.#Its supposed to be the bleached and frosted tips that we had in the 90's#I hope matsumoto eventually expands on Kafka's teenage years.#I will always headcanon as Kafka having teenage heart-throb potential.#and having him being a massive metal head just makes SOOO much sense.#Can I just have more Kafka appreciation in general??????#LOOK. I GET IT. THEY'RE HOT.#LET KAFKA HAVE MORE OF THE SEXY SPOT LIGHT PLEASE.#*sobs*#why do I always have to be the change I want to see in the world.#my babygirl deserves so much more than my talentless hands.#I wish I had spent more than ten minutes figuring out his outfits.#I had so much better ones in mind.#kaiju no. 8#kn8#kaiju no 8#kaiju number 8#kaiju no.8#kaiju n8#kaiju no. eight#kaijuu no. 8#kaijuu 8 gou
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Hey gang, whats up
These are some new and old doodles of mine hehehhehehehe
Ignore how Bloberta doesn’t have a mouth(I was STRUGGLING OH MY GAWD)
#I forgot I had tumblr for a hot minute#haha sorry guys#I’m back and alive and well#I may be going a little insane but that’s okay#julie joyful#beta wally#bloberta puppington#Bloberta my love#Moral Orel content for once??(lol it’s just Bloberta)#guys she’s literally my wife idk what yall are talking abt#guys ignore the Welcome Home drawings and focus on Bloberta she’s literally so urhshbrshjshsdgdjshs#Bloberta puppington when will you be mine? TAKE ME PLEASEEE GIVE ME A CHANCEEE I CAN CHANGE HERRRR I CAN CHANGE HERRRRRRRRRRR#welcome home#moral orel#sendhelpkk1 art:3
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When you know a character and their material like the back of your hand and you see someone say something about the character as if it’s a known trait of theirs but you’ve literally never seen that happen
#saw a review for an old first doctor novel that said that steven’s ‘capacity to fall for the wrong type of woman’ was ‘very much in place’#his… his what?#is this a thing that happened repeatedly in the novels for some reason and i’ve been blissfully unaware of it?#he literally never gets anything romantic in the show#you can see steven/sara if you squint like i did and apparently big finish did as well#but that’s it and that’s already a stretch#and at that sara is not the wrong kind of woman so it wouldn’t describe her anyway#is this about steven being attracted to the drahvin for a hot minute or something?#because it was literally about a minute. very quickly realized that they suck and then never looked at them like that the rest of the story.#but there’s nothing else to draw from lol#so i have to assume that either the novels kept doing this to him for some reason#or this person is just living in a dream world about who steven is lol#i’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say it’s the novels because i know some very odd choices have been made in them#but still. what???#classic who#steven taylor
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i hate that the horrifying context makes it hard sometimes to enjoy the sillier parts of this conversation cuz
FUCK YOU MEAN FLESHY PARTS SAY BREASTS!!!!!!!!!! SAY BOOBS!!!!!!!!!!! YOU VIRGIN
#i always live in shock from the fact that this convo is as equally frightening as it is absurd#THEYRE BOTH SO STUPID I HATE IT#HI IM GARTH THE SNOBBY ARTIST WHO IS ONLY SNOBBY WHEN I THINK OF MYSELF AS ABOVE SOMEONE ELSE AND IM GAY AS HELL I DRAW HOT MUSCLY MEN!!#AND JACKS DUMBASS EXPRESISONS HERE DONT HELP WHY DOES HE POG#i love them both they give me a headache i hate them#lisa rpg#ive been freaking out about thsi dialogue for like 10 minutes i dont understand why#sorry all my screnshots are green#note from next day i woke up but i also thibk by fleshy parts he just means everything that is weighty like#boibs and ass and the mass all over the body#he like fat girls confirmed........#BUT STILL FLESHY PARTS IS TOO FUNNY TO SAY HE SPEAKS LIKE ME#i need to make a post about all my insane thoughts about this thibg eveb if no one reads it#lisa ramblings
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Personally of the belief that live action fans who go onto animanga posts uninvited like 'I DESPERATELY NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I THINK THE ART STYLE IS UGLY EVEN THO THIS OPINION IS IRRELEVANT TO THE POST' should be hit with a big rock. We already moved past this ten years ago, get with it or get lost. Swallow the hunger inside of you that demands everything be palatable to you. Maybe you could stand to be a little uncomfortable for a while
#Keep ur trashy comments to yourself#It's not even ugly! It's just not the conventional anime style so you deem it ugly. That's so fucking sad of you#You're the type of person who sees a piece of art and is like OMG WERE THEY ON DRUGS?!?!?!?!?!#Idk I think the art style is very fitting for the gigantic world Oda has built#People are allowed to be ''ugly'' because not all of us were born to be models. Shock and horror I know#(this is NOT aimed at the ppl who critque the way Oda draws women (to a degree...) bc I agree he could've done the same for women as he doe#The men by giving them way more diverse features and body shapes)#No this is aimed at the ppl who think the style as a whole is ugly and demean it bc it doesn't suit their tastes#Meanwhile their taste is the most conventional cookie cutter bland pretty boy/girl bullshit out there#(I say to a degree up there bc I think ppl go way too far with the criticisms like the one person who posted the Charlotte family identical#Sisters and went LOOK HOW SIMILAR THESE WOMEN ARE ODA SUCKS when they were MEANT to look similar)#^ yes that is an actual post I saw in like 2018 or 2019 when WCI was reaching its end in the anime and it made me die laughing#There are dozens of other examples you could've given but no. You intentionally chose the triplets (quintuplets? It's been a hot minute)#Rebecca and Nami and Vivi and Shirahoshi all having the exact same face with different hair? No I will use the identical twins as proof#What a unique way to undermine your own argument bc I was with you up until that#Anyway yeah the more I think abt the more I think the live action sucks actually for getting rid of Sanji's eyebrows bc they'd 'look bad'#Who cares? It's part of his design. You are cutting off parts of his character. Same w/ Usopp's nose.#Who fucking cares if it would have looked 'bad' or 'ugly'? Is that all you guys really care about? Keeping up appearances???#I'm so sick of the shit I like getting 'remade' to appeal to people who will never actually appreciate why stuff looks the way it does#It's so shallow I hate it#<- yes I'm still bitter about what they did to my boy WW in the three guns reboot iykyk#And Livio and Razlo for that matter. What the FUCK was that about#Idk maybe it's cuz it's something I recognized in myself and attempted to squash so it's frustrating seeing other ppl do it#And again obvs Oda isn't perfect w/ this either as he draws evil women as fat old hags and his protags as skinny and beautiful#Or how he thinks not following ur dreams will make u ugly and fat and following ur dreams will make u conventionally attractive#I get it. Storytelling method. But u can do better. Use colorschemes instead of physical attributes or something like Veneer does
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And a bunch of firmament doodles. I haven't been Finishing Things as much bc I have fallen back into Work Solitaire Pit and trying new lineart and shade techniques. Ft Ducky Coat I Love So Much
What was going to be a cover for a playlist but I can't get the song order right
And top ten worst radio shows to come on when ur scary older sibling bullies u into calling out sick(ft Stusan)
#doodles#i imagine all the cats are Fine With Them Actually despite it being mentioned a couple times animals Dont Like Affliction#considering they were probably all in the tower for a hot minute#we need to give Albiero more Clothes That Fit#xe is so small. and outfits for children are so cute#i *need* to draw Cosmin in half a hot topic sometime very soon i have the refs pulled up#i have so much ppgp stuff sketched out im just having SO much trouble doing the tweaks i want to for Emerson#and spiders#Firmament#alberio#billy
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how long did it take you to like Daigo and Mine? I had a delayed response to the former. I’d played through all the games, nothing. Then one day I was just thinking of how he was yet another example of goth disaster who grows into Fine Young Man (my first was Gaara) and all of a sudden I got struck with the blorbo truck.
bestie. i have no idea LMAOOOO I REALLY COULDN'T TELL YOU
i know with mine at least it took me beating Y3 first and then thinking about his character more and then doing a replay of Y3 and rewatching his scenes. plus then i found all the currently available RGGO stories for him and that p much solidified my adoration for him
with daigo, i think it was just kind of like a gradual thing? my memory of my initial feelings when playin these games are mostly faded (pardon like. Y7 stuff that game and my feelings for it have been branded into my brain 5ever) but i remember as the games went on, i just got happier the more i saw daigo on screen (kind of like how i get when i see date in that 'omg it's my old friend daigo that's my boy :)') to the point where i instantly knew the 'masked figure' in y5 was him just from his sideburns (tho tbf i think we all saw the twist coming from a mile away, but it's the way i saw his sideburns and instantly went 'oh bitch i know those anywhere')
i did think he was dripped the fuck out in Y2 tho
#snap chats#i didnt beat chapter five of y7 btw#i accidentally started following a speedrun guide and i ran around for like forty minutes trying to find an odd stone#then i realized i needed the foreman job but i didnt have enough charisma and THAT was going to be a hassle#so im just calling it a night#but yeah no with daigo like ??? and honestly mine- and like. Every Character I Love#there's never an Aha moment where im instantly smitten or something#it takes some time for me to think about them to really like them#i think aoki was the closest to instantly liking but that was more due to personal things ig#jo took a hot minute tho. i think the eyeball scene was what got the ball rolling tho now that i think bout it 💀#but yeah it just takes me a minute to think about a character for me to realize how much i love them#except ichiban. ichiban was instantaneous but like thats just his effect on people that's like saying the sky is blue#back on topic tho i really love daigo despite it kinda not seeming like it#like Obviously i draw him a lot but i dont really talk about him a lot you know#he's somewhat of a simpler character compared to my other faves but he's still fascinating to me and i love his character so much#i love how quiet he is and how he's a right contrast to his father#and i love how it's evident kiryu's left a mark on him in games like Y4 and Y5 where he feels like he has to do things alone#i cant explain it all rn- mostly cause ima run out of tags- but i love his character for what it is#RGG might not give him any love. like. at all. but i will. i'll love him#and even if the fandom mostly sleeps on or bullies him i appreciate the other guys who also go 'omg daigo our boy' when he's in a scene#well that ends my ramble for tonight i think ima just watch some youtube before i have to wake up to death tomorrow
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𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐗
A/n: Almost kinktober guys ;) Synopsis: How many rounds can JJK men go for? Characters: Gojo Satoru, Toji Fushiguro, Geto Suguru, Choso, Sukuna Ryomen Warnings: Doggy, mating press, multiple orgasms, sub space, overstimulation, dub-con, photo taking, cock warming, nipple sucking, finger sucking, breeding, unprotected sex, virgin!Choso, mentions of masturbation, pussy drunk men
☆ Gojo Satoru: 3-4
The longest three rounds of your life
You think he can stop just cumming in you once? Hell no. The best part about sex is when he can see his cum oozing out of you with each push.
Also loves overstimulating himself until he is a groaning mess.
Unfortunately for you, Gojo Satoru is NOT a one-minute man.
"Awe come on don't go zoning out on me now~"
Gojo's voice is teasing, a low, melodic coo that slides into your ears as you struggle to focus. His grin is wide, almost predatory, his blue eyes twinkling with amusement as he leans in closer. You’re hazy, breathless, your mind clouded with pleasure, barely able to register the words.
"S'cant... feel too...” You mumbled and thrashed against Gojo's hold, forcing him to pin your wrists together above your head while he pistoned into you with brute force. Sure it's only the second round for him but for you, he's brought you over the edge more than your poor poor body can handle.
Your body feels completely spent, trembling with overstimulation as your legs, sore from the constant tightening and untightening, hang limp in Gojo's grip. He’s folded you in half, his hands pressing your legs against your chest, locking you in place with ease. The room feels heavy, a warm haze clouding your thoughts as you realize you’ve been drooling, too lost in the overwhelming pleasure to even care.
“Feel fucking amazing Jesus Christ.” Gojo manages to groan out between pants followed by a string of curses. Every time he leaves the clutch of your cunny, his cock is coated in a thick shiny sheen of creaminess, and when he snaps his hips back in, it settles right at the base of him, painting your puffy pussy lips as well. Gojo effortlessly lifts one of your legs over his shoulder, sinking even deeper into you with each forceful thrust. The new angle, paired with the relentless pace of his hips snapping against yours, sends you spiraling dangerously close to the edge. Your grip on the sheets falters, hands slipping as tears streak down your flushed cheeks. Your mouth hangs open, drool pooling beneath you, completely mind-fucked and overwhelmed by the pleasure that consumes every inch of your body.
Your limbs have no strength left to resist—no, you don’t want to. Every nerve in your body is thrumming, begging for more as you let him take control. His every movement draws out a fresh wave of sensation, each thrust sending you spiraling closer to that next high. You can’t stop it—there’s no chance to. Your body is his to use, to pull pleasure from again and again, and all you can do is surrender to the bliss as it builds, crashing over you uncontrollably.
"Come for me baby," Gojo coos. "I'll cum in you and if it spills we can start all over again."
~
☆ Toji Fushiguro: 6
First three you are riding him and doing all the work.
Then when your legs give out thats even he fucks you silly
He is so big :( Sometimes he has to let you cock warm him for a bit so you can catch your breath
This is it you where going to die.
You were going to be fucked to death.
"Shhh, stop crying would you? Yer' taking it like a champ I promise."
Two big hands come up to your face to wipe the hot tears streaming down your face. Your body is trembling uncontrollably, every muscle quivering as waves of pleasure leave you numb and overwhelmed. It’s like your senses have short-circuited, leaving you shaking, barely able to register anything beyond the intense, lingering sensation pulsing through you.
Even though Toji is unmoving inside you, your pussy cannot stop spasming from the pleasure of his fat tip pressed up against your g-spot. Even if he wanted to pull out right now, Toji doubts that your cunt would give up the vice grip on his cock. Coincidentally that meant that he was keeping you plugged with 3 loads of warm sticky cum in your tight walls.
"Fuck still so tight baby, you want me to fuck you more don't you?" Toji's voice is a low, teasing coo as his focus shifts to your breasts, his tongue flicking over each hardened nipple, tracing slow, lazy circles that send shivers down your spine. One hand squeezes your breast, kneading the soft flesh, while the other glides over your sides and stomach, his touch warm and deliberate, drawing out every sensation. With all the strength you can muster, you wrap your legs around his waist pulling him closer to you so that you can feel his cock push impossibly farther into you, and he moans into your breast, biting your nipple softly.
Then, without releasing your nipple from his mouth, he begins the slow roll of his hips into your sloppy cunt. Toji's hips move in a slow, deliberate rhythm, each roll pressing him deeper into you with a tantalizing, unhurried pace. His movements are controlled, almost teasing, as he grinds against you, making you feel every inch, every pulse of his dick as he draws out your pleasure with each smooth thrust.
"Just take it m'kay? You can handle it."
~
☆ Geto Suguru: 4
Geto is a real fiend
The breaks between sex consist of him drinking water and kissing the water into your mouth. After that it's right back to fucking.
Loves taking photos of his cum oozing out of you. Looks at it when he is bored.
“So pretty….”
Drool dripped from your chin onto the pillow below, mixing with the tears streaming from your eyes, which were rolled back in bliss. Your breath hitched the moment Geto's hand tightened in your hair, pulling your head back just enough to catch his gaze out of the corner of your eye. As your eyes lock, a dark, knowing smirk curves on his lips, sending a shiver down your spine. You were finally getting used to the dizzying, mind-numbing pressure of his tip crashing into your cervix—but the bad news? Your legs were completely numb, trembling and useless beneath you.
“Did you hear what I said doll?”
Whatever was left of your mind tried to reign back its focus on the man pistoning into you from behind, but as it turned out, there wasn’t much. The friction of his cock dragging against you was unbearable, even with the syrupy cum soaking the walls of your quivering pussy. All you could do was dizzily nod, earning a chuckle from Geto while he eyes the way your hips instinctively raise so his cock can sink even deeper into you from behind. If you could only know the heaven your cunt you're putting his mind in, he is sure you'd be the one smirking. Geto even has to bite harshly on his lip to stop himself from whimpering every time your sticky pussy spasms from pleasure.
The euphoria came in waves of electric current that pulsed through your sloppy pussy and the only thing keeping you grounded his loads of warm sticky cum dripping down your thigh.
“Come on speak to me baby, I've only come two times, we've barely even started.”
The wet sounds of Geto's dick slipping in and out of you filled the room and your senses. His cock filled you so much better than your hands ever could, hitting that gummy spot inside your walls over and over again perfectly, and you wondered how you were ever satisfied with the way you masturbated before you met him.
“I’m a lucky man arent I? To have such an obedient baby with such a pretty pussy.” His hand comes to your face to caress your cheek, and you nestle into his touch while his thumb wipes away your tears. Your too busy immersing in the warmth of his palm to notice the flash of light and the sound of a shutter above you. Even when you turn your head back in curiosity, all you see is Geto staring at the screen of his phone with a lazy grin spread on his face.
~
☆ Choso: 2
Give this man a break! He's a half century old curse who has never fucked before!
You should be glad that he didn't cum by just slipping his tip in, because oh god lord he is seeing colors.
Choso swore he wasn't a whimpering man. Nothing that good could ever make him stumble over his words like a schoolboy. But Jesus Christ, he was not expecting you.
“F-fuck, you’re tight,” Choso groans hoarsely. You felt good? Try god-like, Choso's mind was in euphoria right now. His hand or a fleshlight could never compare to the way your gummy walls sucked him in and hugged his cock.
"M'feel good Cho~" You whine, head thrown back against the plush pillow. The stretch was delicious. It had you squirming and writhing and you couldn't help but tighten as your body tried to push out the large foreign intrusion. You gasped when you felt his tip smush against your cervix, little bolts of electricity being sent through your stomach as he pressed against you.
Choso was slow at first, wanting to still admire the way your cunt swallows him up, the fat of his head has a hard time popping out with how greedy your cunny is being. He whines at how hot you are on the inside, but he’s quick to change to a faster pace.
Choso’s voice comes out in a deep, breathless groan, his grip tightening as he leans closer, his words heavy with need. "W-wanna do this all the time. Every day, baby," he rasps, his eyes half-lidded in pleasure, completely lost in the sensation. Each thrust seems to pull the words from his lips as if he can’t hold back, his body trembling with how good it feels. The thought of having you like this, over and over, only spurs him on, his pace quickening as he grinds against you, desperate to make this moment last forever.
Unable to handle the sensation, your hands grab his shoulder and grip them for dear life. Choso doesn’t let up his pace, in fact he increases it, pounding your poor little cunt with no remorse. His mind is foggy, everything just feels and looks so so good, he’s not even thinking when he shoves his fingers in your mouth, digits pressing down on your tongue and swirling around in the spit.
“Your gonna let me use you when ever I want right? Gotta lot of time to make up for, you gonna be a good girl and always make me feel good right?”
~
☆ Sukuna Ryomen: Lord have mercy
It depends.
Its either the longest no-break sex marathon of your life or 6 even seven rounds with small breaks in between.
Unfortunately, Sukuna is a sadist, it's a headcanon that he might prioritize his pleasure over yours. Combine that with his godly stamina and you have an insane combo.
Kneeling helplessly, both your wrists pinned behind you by just one of Sukuna’s powerful arms, you can only brace yourself as he thrusts into you from behind, each powerful movement sending shockwaves through your body as he effortlessly controls your every breath, your every tremble.
"C-cant do this!" you cry, your voice breaking as Sukuna's grip tightens around your wrists, holding you firmly in place. Your legs are sore from this kneeling position and the angle that his cock hits you is so euphoric it's almost painful from the sheer collision. Sukuna chuckles darkly, his pace relentless as he leans in closer, his hot breath ghosting over your neck.
"Oh, but you will," he growls, each word dripping with wicked amusement, his hips driving into you harder. "You don’t have a choice."
You can only wail in response, the sound escaping your lips uncontrollably as the overwhelming pleasure consumes you. Every thrust sends a wave of heat surging through your body, your mind going blank as Sukuna fills you completely, each movement pushing you closer to the edge. The pressure builds with each deep, forceful stroke, your body trembling beneath him, and all you can do is surrender to the intense, all-encompassing bliss that threatens to pull you under.
"Such a good girl, you're a natural submissive, aren't you? Or maybe you just loved being fucked like the slut you are."
How much time has passed? You can’t even tell anymore—everything blurs together in a haze of pleasure and heat. The rhythm of Sukuna’s relentless pistoning becomes the only thing grounding you, your mind foggy and lost as your body responds to him instinctively. Each second feels stretched out, an eternity of raw sensation as you teeter on the brink, utterly consumed by the moment.
"Gonna fuck you like this till I’ve had my fill, got that?" Sukuna’s voice is a low, dangerous growl in your ear, the words sending a shiver down your spine as he presses deeper.
#jjk smut#jjk x reader#gojo smut#geto smut#toji smut#choso smut#sukuna smut#gojo x reader#toji x reader#geto x reader#choso x reader#sukuna x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader smut#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk headcanons
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OH MY GOD OH MY GOD EVERYBODY WAKE UP WAKE THE FUCK UP ITS BACK ITS FUCKING BAAAAACK
A Little Left of Right - Chapter 3
And it only took me a few weeks, neat.
In this chapter: Bee mets (some of) the Shattered Glass Cons.
Chapter: 3/? Wordcount: roughly 4k words
Also, please have this funny out of context, outtake from my editing process. I laughed way too hard when I noticed that one.
#WAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THROWING CONFETTI EVERYWHERE#SPINNING IN CIRCLES AND KICKING MY LEGS#I read this chapter just a few minutes ago and when I tell you I cried#I CRODE#fuuuuuck man... whadda hell…#Bumblebee just wants to go home to his family team; his REAL FAMILY#He’s exhausted and starving and scared and. GAHHHH 💥💥#Bee has the worst case of homesickness oh my GOOOOD#THE FACT THAT HE WANTS TO HEAR HIS RATCHET REPRIMAND HIM. AUGHHHHHHH MY GOD#AND THE FACT THAT BUMBLEBEE THOUGHT MEGS WAS OPTIMUS AT THE END WHEN BEE BLACKED OUT.#10 trillion emotional psychic damage#Megatron please help this poor little bumblebee agh…#im giving Bee a nice big cup of hot energon cocoa in spirit. with marshmallows and whipped cream too#he deserves a treat :(#also obsessed with how the Decepticons all appear in my mind I can literally see them lookin like that#also loving how much of a dad SG!Megatron is here#gently chiding Starscream when he said they won’t hesitate to retaliate if Bee attacked Megs; so silly#I also rlly like how protective Starscream was of Megatron and how apprehensive he was of Bee too#you can rlly tell he cares a LOT abt his boss it’s rlly sweet#SOUNDWAVE HERE IS SILLY TOO#HIS VISOR EMOTING WITH THE SMILEY FACE AND SWEAT DROP DISPLAY IM OVER THE MOON ABT THAT#I need to draw what I think would pop up on his visor for other emotions grah…#I love how he gave Bumblebee a wave hello with his tentacles that made me giggle a bit#I also wonder if he allows Lazerbeak to fly solo around the Con ship and be with other bots#perching on their shoulders or head#I can’t wait to see the other Decepticons and Autobots man IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥
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Sittin'
Joel Miller x F!Babysitter Reader No outbreak Joel Miller AU - Words: 10k
Rating: Explicit, Minors DNI
You're working your way through medical school, supporting yourself by taking the occasional babysitting gig. One local single Dad needs someone to look after his 10 year old daughter Sarah on nights when he's late back from the jobsite. And it's all fine and good until your neglectful boyfriend decides to crash the party. Warnings: small age gap (Joel is 32, reader is in medical school), reader is babysitting Sarah as a side hustle to support her studies, Sarah is cute, reader has a shit boyfriend, Joel is trying really hard to resist, exhibitionism, thigh-riding, praise, dirty talk, thigh-humping, oral (f receiving), fingering, general defiling of a perfectly good granite countertop, Joel has opinions about how a woman should be treated as is not afraid to demonstrate them.
A/N: My attempts at writing PWP almost always end up like 10k lol. Whatever, I like a good slow burn. If you enjoy, comments and reblogs are always appreciated. Thank you - Freddie x
It was a hot night, the latest in a long line. You knew you were lucky getting to spend some of your evenings over at the Millers, simply because it meant you got to sit under Mr Miller’s air conditioner, the box wedged firm into the window in the living room, little droplets of water condensing and running down the pane of glass underneath it. You’d put a dishtowel down to protect the carpet.
You knew you were lucky, too, because once Sarah went off to bed you could spread your books over Mr Miller’s kitchen table, listening to the buzzing of the fridge as you tried to memorise the functions of the lobes in the brain. In class, your biomedicine professor had blown up balloons and handed out sharpies, inviting her students to draw the lobes in the right place, and yours had popped when you pressed too hard on the occipital lobe, and your lab partner had laughed and said that it was ironic, but you couldn’t figure it: the motor cortex would have been ironic, this was just startling.
You cracked your neck, rolling your shoulders and looking over to the clock on the wall. Nearly 10:30 PM. Mr Miller would be coming back soon.
Sarah was a good kid, and some nights she stayed up to ‘help’ you study, mostly by pointing to pictures in your textbooks and asking you to explain them to her. She’d hated the full-page coloured illustration of the eye, but had been fascinated by the heart, trailing her finger along the arteries, into the chambers, tracing the pathway in and out again. You’d make a cardiologist of her, yet.
Tonight, she’d only made it to twenty minutes past eight, her eyes growing heavy as she turned the pages of your book. This one didn’t have as many pictures, and you could sense her fatigue in the stuffy air.
‘What kind of doctor do you want to be?’ she’d asked, and you’d pulled your hair up off your neck to try and get some air on your skin. You weren’t sure how to explain it without sounding gruesome, without giving her nightmares. She was only 10.
‘When people have emergencies and they have to go to the hospital right away, they need to see a doctor to patch them back up again…’ you’d said, and she’d stared at you with a tiresome expression on her face.
‘I’m not a baby,’ she said, disapproving. You smiled at her.
‘Trauma surgeon,’ you replied. She nodded her head, deeming your answer satisfactory, and taking herself up the stairs to bed.
She was one of the easiest kids you’d ever babysat for, and over the years you’d racked up quite a roster. You’d started in high school, first saving up enough for the prom dress right in the storefront window, and then later keeping yourself fed during your undergrad. When you’d moved to Austin you’d rented a studio apartment in the back garden of a little old lady, a woman who had revealed herself to be an excellent cook if militant about her hydrangeas. You’d letterboxed the neighbourhood and picked up a few odd jobs but nothing lasting, until the evening you’d got a call from a very frantic Mr Miller, who was so beside himself he only asked how quick you could get there and didn’t even ask about your rates.
It turned out Mr Miller got caught up at the jobsite some nights, staying back later than he expected with his little brother to finish framing, or guttering, or wiring. He was running out of favours with his neighbours, he’d explained, and Sarah was still too little to feed herself. You hadn’t minded, his deep southern drawl doing something to you even over the phone, such that you found yourself cancelling plans just to go and sit on his couch that very evening, textbook over your knees.
Some nights with Sarah tucked up fast asleep you’d stand and stare at the pictures of the two of them, her holding up a soccer trophy nearly twice her size, him standing with his hand in his pocket, his other over the shoulders of a younger man you assumed was Tommy. If you were feeling particularly bold, or were procrastinating especially hard, you’d extend a finger and run them up and down the strings of Joel’s guitar, resting sentinel against the windowsill. You imagined his fingers pushing into the fretboard, the strings indenting the flesh.
It wasn’t even that he was handsome, although he definitely was. He was a young father, doing it almost entirely alone, and on any other man that would have made for grumpy, for overly tired, for entitled. On Mr Miller it made for kindness, for a nurturing type of strength, corded tight under his skin. For a single dad always thinking about his daughter, only ever wanting the best for her. For a man focussed on doing right for his family, small as it was.
You rolled your shoulders, the pre-frontal cortex just about beating you for the night. Just as you were wondering if the Millers kept any ice cream in the freezer, you heard the key in the front door. You listened as Joel followed the same routine, first toeing off his boots, letting out a little grunt as the second one hit the floor. You heard him huff as he stretched his back, rolling his hips in a little circle to try and get some stretch into them, before dropping his keys on the table and padding, surprisingly light on his socked feet, into the kitchen.
‘Hey, Sweetheart,’ he said, his pet name for you emerging on only the second time you’d sat for him and still, even after this many months, causing your stomach to do a little flipper.
‘Evening, Mr Miller,’ you said, and he tutted at you, moving over to the fridge and extracting a beer.
‘Told ya not to call me that,’ he muttered, but you could see the grin behind it. ‘How was my girl tonight?’
‘Perfect, as always,’ you said, smiling at him as he poured you a glass of sweet tea from the jug in the fridge without bothering to ask if you wanted any. You accepted it gratefully, suddenly noticing how dry your throat had become.
‘She’s a good kid,’ he said. He sat down, heavy, in the chair opposite you. The ceiling lamp buzzed above you both, and the light bounced off the fine sheen of sweat accumulating on his arms, on his cheeks. He glowed, even if it was under a layer of exhaustion.
‘You look tired, Mr Miller,’ you said, and he cocked a little grin.
‘You sayin’ I look like shit, Sweetheart?’ he asked.
‘No, never,’ you said, instantly regretting how quickly, how fervently, you had responded. He continued to grin at you, lopsided, the dimple on his right cheek popping out to greet you.
‘What is it tonight?’ he asked, and you held up your book to him. ‘The bio-mech-an-ics-of-thought: phys-ee-ol-o-gee of the brain,’ he intoned, before letting out a low whistle. ‘I don’t know how you do it,’ he said.
‘It’s interesting,’ you defended, unsure why. ‘So long as there are diagrams,’ you added.
‘So that’s where the magic happens?’ he asked, gesturing to the illustrated image of the brain in the centre of the page you had been working from.
‘This is where thought happens,’ you nodded. ‘Kind of like…where decisions are made.’
‘Must be a woman’s brain,’ Joel deadpanned, taking a swig of his beer. ‘Can guarantee men make their decisions someplace else.’
You caught a glimpse of something dark in his eyes as he glanced over you. You blushed, swearing it was just the heat, and furious with yourself. This wasn’t like you; you weren’t some shrinking violet type. You’d had boyfriends, you’d had fun in college. You had no idea what it was about Mr Miller that made you immediately go all giggly, all girly, but whatever it was you wished it would fuck off.
The two of you lapsed into a comfortable silence. You were used to this from him, the way his mind seemed to drift, the way he seemed content enough to let it. Gently, so as not to jolt him out of his thoughts, you closed your book, gathered your pens together. Everything tucked away in your bag you were surprised when you looked up to see he was watching you.
‘Apparently Sarah’s taken an interest in science,’ he said after a moment, his warm eyes watching yours for a second. You felt a tingle of pride in your chest.
‘Oh yeah?’ you asked.
‘Mmhmm, apparently after she pushed Simon Strzelecki off the monkey bars, she offered to patch him up again.’
You grinned before you were able to catch yourself.
‘That’s…very, umm…’ you trailed off and he huffed out a little laugh.
‘It’s very Sarah,’ he agreed.
‘M’sorry, Mr Miller…’ you started, but Joel stood up, waving you off.
‘Don’t be, Strzelecki’s a little shit’f the highest order,’ he said. ‘You gonna let me give ya a lift this time?’ he asked, and this time you shook your head at him.
‘No, I can walk it.’
‘Y’know I don’t like ya walkin’ around out there on yer’own,’ he grumbled, and you felt the insane urge to reach your hand out to rest on his bicep, to ease his evident discomfort.
‘I can handle it,’ you said, instead.
Something stole over his face for a moment, a sharpness in his eyes. For a moment you gazed up at him, the furrow in his brow deepening, the muscles in his jaw twitching as his eyes roamed over your face. Standing this close to him you were reminded how tall, how broad he really was. You dropped your eyes to his arms, crossed over his chest, and imagined him holding you with them, circling them around your back as you leant, safe, into his skin. You blinked yourself back to reality, worried for a second he could read your thoughts.
‘Know you can handle it,’ he said, his voice low, ‘just don’t like it, is all.’
You did this every time, this stand-off. You worried one night you would waver.
‘G’night, Mr Miller,’ you said, over dry lips. He nodded, once, at you, still evidently displeased something dark, something haunted, passing over his features before he brought them back into line.
He stood on the front porch, light still on, until you rounded his driveway and disappeared past the oak tree by the front lawn.
--
Mick was a guy from your Tuesday morning bio class, and you only realised he was your boyfriend when he introduced you to a few of his friends that way. You’d just gone with it, because it had seemed easier, and he was nice if a little full of himself at times. He was the son of the one the big ranching families, had been almost guaranteed a position at whatever college he chose on the day of his birth, hadn’t ever really considered that money was something you saved, something you worked for.
But he would never let you pay for dinner, and often he showed up to class holding a coffee just for you. You’d been on your own for a long time, had been self-sufficient well before you had any business to, and it was kind of nice to let yourself be cared for, if that’s what this was.
On nights when you had to work he would pout and complain, and you told yourself it was because he cared about you, because he wanted you around, even if some part of you knew he just didn’t like to be alone. Every once and while he would ask if he could come with you, ‘feel you up on the couch like it’s eighth grade’, and it made you feel exactly fourteen years old, like this was a summer job you had failed to grow out of. It didn’t help that he more than once referred to your sitting job as ‘cute’. His mother had stayed at home the moment she fell pregnant with Mick’s older brother, and as far as you could tell was yet to leave. You never asked about a future with Mick, terrified of what kind of picture he would paint.
On one such evening, after he’d been particularly insistent that you blow off your job and come and hang out with him and his friends, he’d starting blowing up your phone just as Mr Miller sat down beside you, weary-boned and sleepy-eyed, at his kitchen table.
You ignored the calls, tried to carry on reading even as Mr Miller arched his brow at your insistently vibrating device. You huffed, knowing at some point Mick would get bored.
‘You’re popular tonight?’ Joel prompted after a while, making you lose your place in the paragraph you’d read over at least ten times already.
You huffed out a sigh, reaching out and scrolling through the stream of notifications. He’d started texting, sometimes just sending a single emoji, sometimes entire paragraphs about how badly you were letting him down. You felt an ache bloom behind your right eye socket, and you reached up to your temple to try and massage it away.
‘It’s my boyfriend,’ you told him, and with your eyes still closed you didn’t see him scowl. ‘He wants me to come out to some bar with him and his drunk friends.’
Joel considered this for a long moment. When you opened your eyes they blurred under the sudden light, and you blinked away sleep to see him clearly again.
‘You should be out with your friends, it’s a Friday night…’ he said, almost looking guilty for a moment, and you rushed to reassure him.
‘No, no trust me…this is better. They’re boring when they’re drunk. And also when they’re sober.’
Joel smiled, straining just slightly, at this.
‘He a good man?’ he asked, and you scoffed a little.
‘He’s barely a man at all,’ you said, automatically. Later you’d reflect on this moment, feel it turn you inside out and scold your skin with the heat of your own shame. For now, though, you were too tired, and it was too hot in the kitchen, for you to catch it.
Joel caught it, though. He cleared his throat.
‘We met at college, and he’s…well, he’s kind of set up for life. He doesn’t have to worry about grades, or proving himself. He’s almost guaranteed his residency.’ You were aware you were starting to sound bitter, and maybe you were just a little. Something about Mr Miller, sitting at his kitchen table late in the evening with a beer, muscles wrapped in a plaid, his soft brown eyes watching you carefully, made you think he’d understand.
‘He doesn’t make you feel good enough for him?’ he asked, after a while.
You considered this, eventually shrugging your shoulders. ‘I don’t know if he makes me feel anything,’ you said, truthfully.
Joel leaned forward, elbows on the table, his chin resting in his hand as he watched you, gazed at your face.
‘What do you want him to make you feel?’ he asked.
‘Seen,’ you said, without hesitation.
‘Just seen?’ he asked. His voice was deathly quiet now, almost entirely gravel. His eyes were burning, sharp. You watched as they darkened, stealing your breath out from under you.
‘Desired,’ you almost whispered. He dropped a hand to the table, his fingertips only inches from yours, resting casual on your textbook.
‘What man’s out there runnin’ round this town not desirin’ you?’ he asked, almost as though he couldn’t believe it, and you felt scorching heat on your cheeks, rushing down your sternum, pooling heavy in your core.
You blinked, terrified to move in case you broke whatever spell had befallen him. He turned thoughtful, his eyes dropping to the woodgrain of the table.
‘Y’been working a lot here…can’t imagine hanging out with me and a ten-year-old girl is the same as bein’ out there, living your youth…’
You felt something heavy shift in your belly, something essential curdle and erode.
‘I like it here, Mr Miller,’ you said, all big eyes and almost quivering lower lip. Joel moved away, sitting up straight and peeling the label off his beer.
‘Pretty thing like you, shouldn’t be spendin’ all night waitin’ on us,’ he said, almost to himself. You shook your head again, but he was closing off on you, you could see it in the way his shoulders were folding, the way his mouth was tugging down at the corners.
Without even considering it, operating almost entirely on instinct, you reached your hand out to rest on his bicep. You watched as his eyes drifted close, a long exhale through his nose. He grimaced, almost like you were hurting him, until he lifted his hand and held yours fast to him, wrapping his paw around you.
‘I really love spending time with Sarah,’ you said, just over a whisper, as he stared hard at the table. You could sense he was avoiding your gaze, and you wanted to say something to draw him to you, wanted to give him a little nugget of truth that he could take into himself, hold deep and quiet in his depths. ‘I love spending time with you,’ you said.
He raised his eyes to yours. His hand was so warm over yours, your cheeks so pink in the sleepless heat of the late evening. You saw his eyes fall to your lips and you slipped your hand from under his, reaching up to trace the contours of his jaw with your fingertips.
‘Baby…’ he whispered, ‘I been’ resistin’ you so long, don’t know if I can…’ and you pushed a finger to his lips. You didn’t want him to break whatever spell you were both suddenly under. Didn’t want him to take this from you both, whatever it was turning out to be.
‘Don’t argue,’ you instructed, quietly. With brows saddled, he nodded his head.
And he didn’t argue. Not when you moved your finger from his lips and traced it down over the hollow of his neck, over to his pulse where it thundered under your tough.
Didn’t argue when you leant forward, pressing your nose to his, giving him time to pull away, to move from your lips.
Didn’t argue when you pressed them to his, a little soft and quiet thing, earning you a wanting gasp from him, a prize you would hold in the cavity of your chest so long as your heart stayed beating.
Later, when you had gathered yourselves, when he had gazed at you and you had felt the want in him mixing with the regret, with the necessity of the un-having corrupting the want to take and take and take, you had simply gathered your books, tucking them quiet and neat into the bag at your feet. He didn’t argue with you about driving you home that night, suddenly quiet in a way that set your teeth on edge, and you felt an ache in your belly you couldn’t account for when he closed the door. You waited behind the trunk of the tree at the end of his driveway, counting the minutes he left the light on for you after you’d slipped from view, giving up when you got past 15.
--
You were unsettled. Joel hadn’t called for two weeks, and you were starting to worry that you’d ruined things, your silly little kiss bubbling corrosive at the base of your spine. You couldn’t help going over the whole evening again and again in your head.
You should have told him you preferred spending the nights at his house, that the way it smelt like play-dough and sometimes sawdust, sometimes pine, was so unique to the both of them that you felt your nerves settle the moment you stepped over the threshold. That the house was warm and quiet, that you could spread out your books and something essential to you, that in this space with them you felt more yourself than anywhere else on the planet, even locked away in your little studio apartment, even just you and your reflection in the bathroom mirror.
You wanted to tell him Sarah was funny, and smart, and kind, and being around her made you nostalgic for the childhood you never had but ached for, that you felt all that time with her she was giving you something precious and absent, something simple and something sweet. That there were nights you weren’t sure who was sitting who.
You wanted to tell him you didn’t expect anything from him, that it didn’t matter to you if nothing ever happened, if he regretted letting you kiss him, if it had just been that it was too awkward in the moment to say no. Just that you wanted to keep sitting for him, just that if all you got was a casual conversation at the end of the evening and an argument about driving home that would be enough for you, because it would have to be, and so you could make it so.
You begged off seeing Mick for the second Friday night in a row, wanting to be available in case Joel called. You felt silly but you could use the cash. Your textbooks were $400 a piece, and next semester you were taking three classes. Just feeding yourself was enough to stop your studies in their tracks.
Two things happened in the span of ten minutes. A knock at your door stirred you from your lecture notes, and your phone rang. By the time you had it in your hand you were holding Mick back from your face, your palm to his chest, as you craned your neck away from him to speak.
‘M’sorry, Sweetheart, it’s just…I know, it’s a Friday…’
‘It’s fine, Mr Miller,’ you said, ignoring the way Mick was making smoochy faces over your shoulder. ‘I don’t have any plans.’
When you got off the phone Mick was pouting again, and you sighed.
‘I thought I was your plans?’ he said, and you shrugged at him.
‘It’s good money for easy work, babe,’ you said, the nickname sitting heavy on your tongue.
‘I can give you money,’ he said, pulling you towards him by your belt loops and nipping at your jaw. You cringed away from him.
‘That would make me your whore, right?’ you said, and he grinned at you, wiggling his eyebrows.
‘Never seemed to bother you before…’ he said, and you bristled against him.
‘The fuck does that mean?’
“Oh, fuck me, babe, make me yours…” he imitated, his voice high in a general approximation of yours. You blushed, furiously. ‘You think good girls beg like little whores?’ he asked, and you knew he was kidding around, knew that he wasn’t smart enough to do it without outright insulting you, knew that you’d put up with this shit before so there was no reason why he wouldn’t assume he couldn’t get away with it now. You knew the way he spoke to you was basically your fault, and you couldn’t yell at him now that the precedent had been set. You felt yourself crumple, landing with a thump on the edge of your bed.
‘I’ll tell you what,’ he was saying, grinning at you like he’d won his prize. ‘You put the kid to bed, and I’ll come by and keep you happy ‘til Dad gets home.’
You hated the idea, the thought of Mick in that space you’d almost come to think of sacred making your stomach churn.
‘No,’ you said, and you watched as he arched his eyebrows in surprise. ‘You can’t come in…’
‘Say no more,’ he said, grinning again, and for whatever reason, you didn’t.
--
He arrived, just after 9 PM, already drunk. You winced as he parked his car in the driveway, right in Mr Miller’s spot, worried for a moment he was going to swipe the mailbox when he took the angle too fast. He skidded to a stop mere inches from Mr Miller’s garage door and you exhaled, realising you were bracing for the sound of splintering wood. He ambled over to where you stood on the front porch, tugging at your shirt sleeves in the cool night air.
‘Babe!’ he called, and you shushed him almost instantly. He was carrying a sixpack of beers, three of them already gone. His breath reeked and you wrinkled up your nose when he slung his arm over the back of your neck and pulled you in for a sloppy kiss.
‘This feels like high school,’ he said, and giggled.
‘This is my job, y’know,’ you corrected him, but he wasn’t hearing you, backing you up against the side of the house. You thumped into the brick, wind temporarily knocked from your lungs before he was on you, slipping his entire tongue into your ear in a way that made your skin crawl.
‘Easy…’ you said, and he ignored you, his hand not holding the beers rising up to paw at your breast over your shirt.
‘Mmm…such a tasty little slut,’ he said, and you closed your eyes. ‘Little naughty baby-sitter.’
‘Keep your voice down,’ you stage-whispered, not sure how well your voices wouldn’t carry over the breeze in Mr Miller’s cul-de-sac. He leant down, resting the beers on the front porch so that he could grope you with both hands.
He groaned as he rubbed his cock at your clothed centre. You moved your face to the side, letting your eyes slide closed again.
You tried to think of a romantic movie. Tried to remember some of the fragments of the romance novels your mother had kept stowed under the bed and that you snuck into the den to read to your giggling friends. Tried to imagine a different man, a stranger’s hands on your chest, a stranger’s fingers pinching at your nipples. Tried to imagine what it would feel like if they found the sweet spot, if they sent electric shocks into your belly, into your cunt. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to push the sound of Mick’s heavy breathing out of your mind, focusing instead on rough and calloused fingers, the scruff of a beard teasing along your skin. Heavy accent and sweet pine, a groaned little ‘Sweetheart…’ as he slipped your shirt up over your shoulders.
‘The fuck’s going on here?’ you heard a gruff voice as your eyes sprang open, pushing Mick from you hard enough that he stumbled, backwards, landing on the grass.
‘Mr Miller!’ you exclaimed, shame burning bright on your cheeks as you righted your clothes. ‘M’so sorry, he just dropped by…’ you started but Joel was striding up his driveway, as you realised with a new flash of guilt he’d had to park on the street.
‘Hey, man…’ Mick was saying, his hands up in front of his face. ‘Just checkin’ in on my girl…’
You cringed, this particular pet name always feeling more like ownership when it came from him.
Joel looked up at you, his brows saddled. ‘You OK, Sweetheart?’ he asked you, and you realised for the first time he wasn’t angry but concerned, his fists balled up like he was ready to spring to your defence.
‘It’s Mick,’ you explained, glancing down at him as he tried to climb to his feet, getting as far as his knees and settling there for a second to plan his next move. ‘He…he wanted to…’
‘Yeah, I saw what he wanted to,’ Joel huffed out, reaching down to pull Mick upright by the back of his shirt. ‘Saw the way you were bracing away from it too,’ he said, looking directly into Mick’s grinning face.
‘What else you see, old man?’ he asked, and Joel dropped him back onto his knees.
‘You got your keys?’ he asked him, and waiting for the younger man to root around in his pockets.
‘Don’t steal my ride,’ he said, handing them over and not noticing when Joel slipped them into his pocket.
‘M’going inside, and I’m gonna call you a taxi, and you’re getting in. She can drive your car back to you tomorrow mornin’…if she doesn’t decide to drive it off a cliff,’ he said, abandoning Mick on the front lawn and coming towards you, grabbing your wrist gentle but firm in his hand and pulling you inside. ‘C’mon, darlin’,’ he said, and you followed, almost entirely on autopilot.
‘I’m so sorry, Mr Miller,’ you started but he waved you away, placing a call for the taxi while keeping you fixed in your spot with his glare. When he was done, he rolled his shoulders, sighing.
‘You sit,’ he said, striding into the kitchen and emerging moments later with two glasses of sweet tea. You realised, as you lifted your hands to take your glass from him, that you were shivering.
‘I didn’t know he was going to do that,’ you said, and Joel shook his head. You felt the waves of disappointment rolling off him and you worried for a moment you might cry.
‘He always touch ya like that?’ he asked, palming at the back of his neck.
‘Like what?’ you asked, your cheeks burning again.
‘All…clumsy and…disrespectful,’ he said, quiet. He stared at the floor between you while you perched on the edge of the couch.
‘Well…’ you started, but you weren’t sure how you wanted to finish that sentence. Sometimes he doesn’t even bother to touch me at all, you thought.
Joel scoffed, his jaw squeezed tight. ‘Guys like that are all the same, Sweetheart, just…selfish. Even in the bedroom. No lady should be touched like she’s a piece of meat.’
You considered, for one crazy moment, if Joel wasn’t so much disappointed in you as he was in Mick’s prowess. Suddenly you had to stifle a giggle.
‘What’s so funny?’ Joel asked you, surprised.
‘Just…I mean, they all go to such fancy schools, get all that college for basically free…’ you started, trailing off when you saw him starting to smile. ‘He can’t even boil an egg, and I don’t mean mine,’ you said, and he laughed then, free and loud, and the sound of it made a little fizzle of joy spark up your spine.
This was fun, you realised, shitting on your terrible boyfriend with the most handsome single Dad you’d ever laid your eyes on. This was really, really fun.
‘So, I take it he don’t make you breakfast in the mornin’,’ Joel joked, and you snorted. ‘What you eat for breakfast, anyway?’ he asked, turning to you now, his eyes crinkling at the corners. You swallowed. ‘No, wait,’ he said, ‘let me guess.’ He pretended to look you up and down, his brow arching as he considered. ‘You’re not a waffles kinda girl,’ he said, thoughtfully. You grinned and shook your head. You’d never liked the sponginess. ‘But you’re too fun for plain old oatmeal,’ he said, and you felt a blush crawling across your chest. ‘You’re a pancake princess,’ he decided, finally. ‘Am I right?’
You pretended to consider it for a second before nodding happily at him. ‘Maple syrup and berries,’ you agreed.
‘Maple syrup and berries,’ he said, grinning in his victory. He paused, something passing between you. Suddenly he shifted forward, his knees just barely brushing yours. You found yourself mirroring him, leaning in enough that you had to put your hand out to steady you, landing it on the cushion only inches from his thigh. You could feel his warm breath on your cheek when he whispered in your ear, ‘tart…but a little bit of sweet for m’sweetheart.’
You felt heat scorch its way up your chest, reduced to kindling beside him.
‘Bet he don’t kiss ya like ya should be,’ he said, and you thought for a second of Mick, grinning and drunk out of his mind on the front lawn. You wondered if the taxi had come for him yet, and had absolutely no interest in going out to check on him.
‘Mr Miller…’ you whispered, and he groaned, then, his eyes rolling back in his head.
‘Please, baby, when you call me that…’ he trailed off, eyes blown wide and you felt, then, the thundering in your chest. From this distance you could see his racing pulse in his neck, the same pace as yours.
‘Mr Miller…’ you said, again, staring now at his lips. You wanted to reach out and just take a little nibble.
And he was on you, grasping the back of your head and bringing it down to him, crashing his lips into yours as you gasped, swallowing the echo down into his throat. His tongue, scorching hot, exploring your mouth as he teased it open, the scruff of his beard tickling your cheeks.
‘Thought about you…’ you said, without even thinking, and Joel pulled back a second to appraise you; your swollen lips, your doe-eyes gazing up at him.
‘Say that again,’ he mumbled.
‘When he’d take me, I’d think about you,’ you said, and you watched as his eyes fell shut, taking the moment to glance down at his heaving chest, the aching bulge between his legs. ‘Thought about your hands on me, Mr Miller, about your mouth.’
‘Fuck, Sweetheart…’ he said, almost as if it pained him, before his eyes snapped back open to gaze at you.
‘Kiss me?’ you asked, sweet as you could for him while you tried with both hands to hang on to the moment, to stay here in it with him. You would need to remember this, every corner of the room, every detail. Would spend nights reconstructing his face in your mind, the way he was looking at you now, wanting and red-cheeked, dark eyes and a hot little huff as your words landed their blows on him.
‘Canna touch you, baby?’ he asked, and you were nodding, pulling him towards you as he slid his hands over your waist. Threading your hands through his hair he brought you over him, straddling him on the couch as he stared up at you, brows arching high, as if he couldn’t quite believe it was happening. You smiled at him, feeling like his prize, as you brought your hips down on him and watched his eyes ease shut, heard his breath stutter. He was big, you could feel it even as the seam of his jeans rubbed at your core. You could feel yourself aching for him, hot and pounding where you ground yourself down.
‘Fuck, Mr Miller…’ you gasped as you felt him push his cock up into you, his hands on your hips and pulling you down.
‘So beautiful, baby,’ he whispered, reaching up with one hand to cup your breast, squeezing the nipple between his fingers that, even through your shirt, shot lightning bolts to your cunt. You gasped, a high-pitched little sound you were sure you’d never made before, and he soaked it down into his skin, kept it held tight and precious in the core of him, to keep him warm on cold evenings.
You felt yourself shivering, even as his warm fingertips dropped to lift the hem of your tee and trace their way back up to your tits along the skin. His enormous hands almost completely captured it, and you felt small, then, and shy, but when you looked down into his warm, brown eyes you saw only safety there, only naked desire for your pleasure.
You let your hips roll, that building ache in your core. You’d only ever felt this alone, had never had another person bring it out of you, and you felt the sharp edges of it as you felt a shard of panic slice through your gut. No one had ever done this for you, before. You weren’t sure if your body would allow it, weren’t sure if you could let go enough to fall.
‘Hey…’ Joel said beneath you, his eyes roaming your face. ‘Relax, Sweetheart,’ he whispered, reaching his hand from your hip to your jaw, pulling you down to rest your forehead on his. ‘Just you n’me, baby,’ he whispered as you rocked on top of him. ‘You can take what you need,’ he promised. ‘I got you.’
‘Joel!’ you gasped, the shiver in your body now ratcheting up your spine, your thighs burning as you rolled your hips on his lap, his cock still tucked away in his jeans. ‘I don’t know if I…’
‘Sssh…’ he cooed, raising a thumb to your lips and slipping it between your teeth. You sucked instinctually, swirling your tongue over the tip and letting your eyes drift closed. ‘Just feel it, baby,’ he said, ‘don’t force it. Let it grow.’
Never in your life had you felt like this. You took his thumb between your teeth as you ground, the spark of fear in your belly engulfed by the roar of your desire. You could feel your hips stuttering, could hear yourself starting to pant.
‘Good girl…’ Joel encouraged, slipping his thumb from your mouth now and smearing it across your lips. ‘Right here for ya, baby,’ he said. ‘Wantchya to feel so good.’
You cried out, smacking your hand over your mouth to stifle your cries. He was going to kill you, and you would let him again and again, let him bring you back to life just to kill you this way all over again. You had no idea bodies were made to feel this good.
‘Oh!’ you gasped, all the warning you could muster as he grabbed your hips with both hands, slamming his bulge up into you as he pulled you down, the seam of his jeans rubbing hard into your clit. ‘Yes!’ you whispered, your body shuddering as you felt yourself crest, the pleasure roaring from your cunt to your chest, exploding out of your skin as you rolled, roiled, boiled on top of Mr Miller.
‘Jesus, there she is…’ he whispered, and you opened your eyes to gaze down at him, your breath still coming in gasps as he watched you, awe and desire on his face. ‘There she is,’ he said again, like a prayer, a benediction.
--
You woke slowly, the dappled light streaming in through the oak tree beside Joel’s window. It took you a moment to orient yourself, to remember that you were in his bed because he’d considered it too late for you to take yourself home, even if you had Mick’s car. Because the pleasure he’d wrung out of you on his couch had left you boneless, because the idea of ripping yourself from his smell, from his heat, was unthinkable in that moment.
You stretched, noting that the other side of the bed remained made, that he had spent the night on the couch. You remembered that you had wanted to ask him to stay, that the words had formed on your lips, and that in that moment you saw the regret on his face, the longing to tuck himself in beside you and pull you into his chest, let the weight of the night take him and you with him, but that he wouldn’t allow it, that he was holding back. You weren’t sure why, but you assumed out of decency, out of respect. Out of some vague employee-boss professionalism you would both cling to in an attempt to paper over the grasping maw of desire opening up between you.
You had wanted him, and you had denied him, allowed him to deny you. You rolled to your back in a frustrated huff, surrounded by the scent of him, of his cologne and the scent of his skin imbued in the sheets beneath you.
After a while you heard noises in the kitchen and you left your cocoon, pulling your clothes on and padding down the stairs constructing a cover story for Sarah as to why you were still there. When you rounded the corner, though, you saw only Joel –in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else, standing at the stove.
‘Hey, Sweetheart,’ he said casually, as if you hadn’t come on his lap less than twelve hours before, ‘Sarah’s headed off to soccer practice, so you and me’ll have to take care of all these.’
He gestured over his shoulder to the kitchen table, where a stack of cooling pancakes stood proud. You felt a shiver of shock run though you at the sight of them, turning to Joel with the curl of tears tickling the back of your eyes. ‘No berries, sorry darlin’,’ he said, without looking up. ‘But we got enough syrup to make it up to ya, I hope.’
You weren’t sure anyone had ever done anything like this for you. You wanted to sob, wanted to walk over to the table and pick up the pancakes in your fists and mash them into your skin, wanted to drown them in syrup and eat until your belly distended, wanted to force feed them into Joel. Instead, you stepped forward, your arms opening all of their own accord, wrapping yourself around his back like a Koala. He huffed out a surprised laugh, growing serious when he turned you in his arms to face him, seeing the gathering tears at your waterline.
‘Hey, what’s this?’ he asked, and you grinned, watery, up at him.
‘No-one has ever…’ you started, catching your words before they spilled too much of the truth. Understanding passed over Joel’s face.
‘Oh, my sweet girl…’ he said, and you glowed for a minute, the words reaching down into your chest and igniting something long extinguished.
He leaned down towards you, pressed his nose to yours, his forehead resting gently on yours. You inhaled him, his scent and the sweet smell of the pancakes on the stove, tried to imprint the memory deep in your DNA.
‘What the fuck is this?’ an angry voice sounded from behind you, and you snapped away from Joel, taking several steps back. Mick, still in his same clothes from the night before, stood furious in Joel’s kitchen.
‘The fuck, you let yourself in?’ Joel asked, matching Mick’s anger with his own. ‘This is a private residence, man.’
‘That’s my girlfriend, man,’ Mick spat, his face twisting into an ugly mask you weren’t sure you’d ever noticed on him before. ‘The fuck you doing feeling her up? You stealin’ my car and my girl?’
‘Mick…’ you started but he was ignoring you, advancing on Joel. You stepped towards him, hands up to placate, but Joel was suddenly beside you, tucking you behind him and shielding you with his broad chest.
‘Back up, buddy,’ Joel said, a whispered warning.
‘Me, back up?’ Mick seethed, about to go on before Joel interrupted him.
‘Yeah, you back up. You need to sit your arse down and learn yourself somethin’,’ he said, advancing on Mick so that the younger man took several steps backwards, heading towards the kitchen table. You wondered if anyone had ever actually stood up to him, if usually his wealth was enough to make people cower. He backed into a kitchen chair, slamming down into it with a thud as he stared up at Joel, the older man red faced and pointing a finger at his chest. ‘You think that little display last night was any way to treat a woman?’ he grit out. You watched as Mick shook his head no. ‘You think she enjoyed that, being pawed at in the dark like a fuckin’ street walker?’ he asked.
‘She looked pretty whorish a few seconds ago,’ Mick responded, petulant and stupid. You could see by the way Joel braced his shoulders, his back expanding in resplendent fury, that Mick had made the wrong fucking choice.
‘Ya little shit,’ Joel said, stepping back from Mick and towards you. He held his arm to you, beckoning you into his chest and you went to him, tucking yourself against his side.
‘You have a woman like this, you fuckin’ cherish her,’ Joel muttered, tracing his fingertips along your side and making you shiver. ‘Look at these pretty little tits,’ he said, moving to cup them as you blushed, tucking your face into his neck. You heard Mick’s sharp intake of breath, mirroring your own as Joel rolled your nipples through your shirt. ‘The way you were grabbin’ at ‘em last night, you think that felt good? You make her groan like this?’ he asked, applying just the right amount of pressure on the sensitive nubs, eliciting a moan from you, unbidden.
‘Listen, man, this is…’ Mick started but Joel cut him off with just a look, stern and disapproving, before his face shifted back to adoration when he turned to you.
‘Let’s show him, baby?’ he asked, his brows saddled high. You knew you were safe with him, that at any moment you could call it off, but you wanted this. You wanted Mick to see what Joel could do to you, the sounds you could make. Wanted him to feel small and insignificant in the presence of a real man, of real pleasure. Wanting him to see what money couldn’t buy.
You nodded your head at Joel and watched as the grin bloomed over his face. ‘M’good girl,’ he said, quiet enough that only you could hear it, and you felt the bolt of want shoot down into your core. Your cunt already aching, already dripping for him.
‘Show me where,’ he said, stepping back as you surveyed the space. You nodded towards the kitchen island, the bench just above your hip height. Joel nodded, lifting you up easily to perch on the edge, your body facing Mick as he sat, frozen, at the table in front of you.
‘Slip these off, baby,’ Joel said, tugging at your sweatpants and you lifted your hips as he slipped them, your panties along with them, out from underneath you. The granite countertop cold on the top of your thighs you revelled in the sensation of it, the hard, cold surface so different to Joel’s hot body as he hovered at your side.
‘Show him,’ he said, tapping you on the knee. You spread your legs, hooking one thigh over the edge of the counter and the other widening out to your side, your cunt unfolding before the two men in front of you. You watched as Mick’s face turned pink, sweat appearing on his brow. You turned to look at Joel, the hunger in his eyes as he devoured every inch of your skin. He reached over, running his fingertips over the inside of your thigh, moving closer to you, leaning over your body to whisper into your ear.
‘You’re dripping onto my countertop, baby,’ he said, and you could hear the glee in it, the wanting.
‘For you, Joel,’ you clarified. ‘Not him.’
‘Nah, never for him, I reckon,’ Joel agreed, his fingers slipping further towards your slit. You felt totally exposed and wanton, whorish, as Mick had put it, and your cunt was pulsing, aching from the desire of it. You felt like a priceless piece of art admired in a big city museum, like a stripper opening up her legs for hoards of braying men, like a girlfriend letting her disappointing boyfriend know in no uncertain terms he would no longer neglect her. You felt power coursing through your veins and into your cunt, your slick pooling on the top of your thighs as the most beautiful man you had ever seen stood beside you and teased the pleasure from every nerve.
‘Fuck…’ you whimpered as Joel’s fingers landed light and dexterous on your clit, the little bundle of nerves sending the pleasure roaring through your core and into your chest. You bucked your hips, nearly slipping from the countertop, Joel coming forward again to brace you against his chest.
‘God, look how much she wants it,’ Joel said over your head to Mick. ‘Bet you’ve never made her jump like that.’ You opened your eyes, not even having realised they’d closed, to watch Mick swallow hard and heavy. You beamed back at Joel, letting the pride in his face radiate warmth down upon you.
‘So good f’me, so good t’me,’ he said, spreading your lips apart with his fingers and pushing a fingertip inside. You gasped, shock on your face at the intensity of the need for him burning where he touched.
‘Please…’ you whimpered, just wanting more and just wanting him to never stop, just wanting him to reach inside you, to wring the pleasure out of you, to make you come so hard you forgot your own name.
‘Sshh…’ he cooed to you, ‘your boyfriend needs to concentrate so he can learn.’
You emitted a squeal of frustration, bucking your hips on his hand to try and draw him in, earning you only a chuckle from Joel.
‘Ok baby, m’sorry. Just like teasin’ ya,’ he grinned at you, before sliding two fat, rough fingers hard into your cunt.
For a second you lost touch with reality, your head flying back to the ceiling as sensations strong enough to take your breath roared from your cunt. The stretch was delicious, the heel of Joel’s hand rubbing hard at your clit as his fingers reached deep inside you, opening you up for him, your slick gathering in his palm.
‘Look how wet she gets,’ Joel noted, over his shoulder to Mick. ‘Such a shiny little cunt when she’s drippin’ like this. You ever work her up like this?’
You heard Mick grunt, a pleading note of displeasure, and you sighed as Joel started pumping, stoking the fire in your cunt that threatened to eviscerate you and everyone within the vicinity.
‘Joel!’ you gasped, rolling your hips again, trying to shove him deeper into your greedy little cunt as it grasped at him.
‘Could lick ‘er up, whatchyu reckon?’ Joel asked, already getting down on his knees as you groaned, certain now he was going to send you into the stratosphere. ‘Can I, baby?’ he asked, and you nodded, frantic, unable to form words.
‘Bet she tastes sweet,’ Joel said to Mick, who was inching closer in his chair, peering over Joel’s shoulder as your cunt swallowed his thick fingers. ‘Like watermelon on a hot summer day. You ever taste her, Mick?’ he asked. You watched as the shame bloomed over Mick’s face. Joel scoffed. ‘Course not, ya fuckin piss weak little prick,’ he spat before turning, diving in to lick a fat stripe at your folds, settling in to lap at your clit as his fingers worked you.
You screamed, sucking in huge lung-fulls of breath just to let them keen out of you, your hips slamming shut on Joel’s head as he sucked at you, every nerve ending screaming now as you felt the blooming heat of release.
‘Oh, he’s gonna make me…’ you said to Mick over Joel’s shoulder, watching you with owlish eyes.
‘Don’t talk to him,’ Joel admonished you, pulling your focus down to him as he perched between your legs, ‘you talk to me,’ he said.
‘Sorry, Mr Miller,’ you said, watching as his eyes rolled shut, a shiver passing over his shoulders.
‘Be the death of me…’ he muttered, returning his attentions to your pulsing cunt. You gripped his hair, rolling your hips on his face and rocking into him, chasing the release now gathering at the base of your spine.
‘Jesus…oh, fuck…’ you cried, trying desperately to warn him, your eyes slamming shut only to open in shock as he found new ways to wring the pleasure from you.
Joel worked you up, his tongue never fatiguing, setting up the perfect rhythm to hold you just on the edge. You could feel your sweat pooling on your skin, the heat in your cunt spreading down your legs, the pull of the knot in your belly.
To your utter dismay Joel stopped, lifting his face to address Mick at his shoulder. ‘You ever make her squirm like this?’ he asked, and you cried for him, then, scrabbling to grip his shoulders, his chin, to push him back to your desperate cunt. He laughed, nipping at your fingertips as they passed by. ‘Look at her graspin’ for me. You seein’ this? This is what real pleasure looks like.’
You cracked open an eye, the room spinning around you as you fought to regain control of your limbs. You saw the look of shame embedded deep into Mick’s face now, the sight of it somehow intensifying your pleasure, the building pressure in your cunt.
‘Fuck me,’ you gasped, turning your attention back to Joel, his eyebrows shooting up. ‘Show him how to fuck,’ you groaned, pushing off the countertop and spinning up onto your toes, laying chest down on the granite now hot to the touch from your writhing body on top of it. You spread your legs a little, knowing that your puffy little cunt lips would be revealed to them both, and you heard them both groan, Joel’s chesty moan full of grit, Mick’s high pitched and brimming with regret.
‘Don’t do this, man…’ he pleaded, and you heard Joel’s little scoff.
‘That’s the thing, buddy, the lady always gets what she wants.’
You felt him come to stand behind you, heard the rustle of his sweats as he pulled his cock over the waistband. It took everything in you not to turn and admire it, knowing in that moment you would have plenty of opportunity.
‘Fuck, she’s got me weepin’,’ Joel said, and you heard the unmistakable sound of skin on skin as he wrapped his hand around himself and tugged. ‘Got me harder than a railroad spike, this little cunt…’ he muttered. You whined, swivelling your hips to try and entice him, begging him to move faster as the walls of your cunt fluttered for him. You heard him sigh, a happy little sound. ‘Ok, baby, I’m here,’ he said, running a hand up your spine to hold you gentle and firm at the back of your neck, the head of his cock nudging at your cunt. ‘Gotta be gentle with my sweet little pussy,’ he said to you, leaning over you to place a chaste kiss in the cup of your shoulder blade.
‘Please, let him see it stretch me,’ you said, and you felt Joel shudder, notching himself at your entrance.
‘Keep talkin’ like that and I’ll chain him up in the basement, make him watch me fuck you every day,’ he muttered, pushing gently at first, the tip enough to make you gasp.
He was big, you realised. All of this time working you up he’d been leading to his moment, preparing to tease you open. ‘Oh, shit…’ you gasped as he pushed.
‘You ok, baby?’ he asked, pausing until you nodded, frantic, hands gripping at the edge of the counter for purchase as you pushed back into him, sliding in a few extra inches, as Joel moaned.
You were dimly aware that Mick was moving, coming to stand in front of you, a look of sorrow and unabashed heat on his face.
‘Please, can I?’ he asked, rubbing himself through his pants and you swatted him away.
‘No, fuck you,’ you said, emboldened by Joel’s desire for you, by his cock currently splitting your folds. ‘You never get this pussy again,’ you hissed at him, and you felt a bloom of pride at the look of hurt crossing his face just as Joel cheered from behind you.
‘That’s my beautiful girl!’ he gasped, bringing a finger to your clit and rubbing tight circles into it, making you gasp as you let your head fall, resting on the countertop. ‘So good f’me.’
The burn in your cunt from the way he stretched you abated, the pleasure Joel was giving you from your clit causing more slick to gather, your cunt grasping him again, your walls fluttering as you felt the ache turn to sweet pleasure, to a blooming rapture.
You lost touch with the ground, Joel’s harsh thrusts pushing you further up the counter, completely at his mercy as your legs hung useless beneath you, hands braced against the granite to give him purchase. In this moment, spread out on his cock, your cunt open and dripping for him, the pleasure ripping the words from your brain, gasps racking your throat, you felt completely under Joel’s spell, his touch, his heat. Mind-numb, thoroughly fucked out, gripped in this moment between the build up and the threshold of release.
‘Oh, you’re gonna make me…’ you warned but Joel had you, was there already with you.
‘I know, baby, I know,’ he grunted between thrusts. ‘Can feel it, can feel that sweet little cunt grippin’ me.’
You cried out, nodding your head furiously, entirely at his mercy now. ‘Yes, yes…Joel, it’s gonna…’
‘Let it go, baby,’ he moaned, and you felt none of the panic, none of the terror at your impending release, wrapped up safe in Joel’s body, in his groans of rapture, in the pull of the knot as it threatened to snap entirely.
‘Watch me make her come,’ he spat out over your head, and you were only dimly aware of what he was saying as your release sped towards you.
You writhed, your breath stolen from you by the roar of the wildfire across your chest. The push of your orgasm slipping you under, crashing your body into the shore, rolling and quaking underneath it as indescribable lust coursed through your veins.
‘Oh, fuck, there she goes,’ Joel spluttered, his hips stuttering as he started to deepen his thrusts. ‘Gonna fill up ya girl,’ he grit out, his final movements sloppy and desperate as he approached the edge.
‘Do it, baby,’ you whimpered beneath him, words finally able to escape the cage of your throat. ‘Need you.’
He did, then, his come exploding into you and washing you clean, cleansing you of Mick, of all your disappointments, of all your fears. You looked back over your shoulder at him as he crested, his eyebrows saddled and his eyes trained on you, a look of reverence and hunger, of sweet shock, as though he couldn’t believe how good it felt either, as if everything for him was also slotting into place, as if he knew in this moment he would never let anyone separate you, would never let anyone take you from his side, that in his moment you were his just as much as he was yours, that this was a forging of something solid and essential, something vital and something precious, something that was just for you.
--
You didn’t remember Mick leaving. Didn’t care to say goodbye.
Joel had peeled you off the counter and carried you upstairs, drawn you a bath and lowered you gently into the water, sat beside you and washed your body as you lulled in and out of a light sleep.
Drying you off he wrapped you up in his clothes, swamping you in cotton and his scent, before promising to make you a fresh batch of pancakes. You hadn’t let him, whimpering when he tried to leave your side, pulling him down beside you on the bed and wrapping his arms around you.
Later you would figure out lunch, and then Sarah, and then the rest of your lives. For now, you had each other, and cool sheets, and the light patter of rain as a welcome cool breeze blew new life over the garden beneath Joel’s window.
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