#i *will* check if anything changed but people on the internet say it didn't

[dropsnectar]

Pollen and Potions: Bee-men x afab!reader

PART THREE

This is a longer part than the rest, but its all necessary dialogue so it should be fine. More fluffy and romance than smut, BUT!! Their will be smut in the next section! I know I said this will only be 4 parts, but it may actually be more like 5 or 6. Anyway, hope you like!

So. You were starting to learn that using large batches of magic back to back weren't ideal for a young witch's health. It seemed like you might have overdone it, as when you woke you found you had been asleep for TWO WHOLE DAYS. So. If you were going to do magic, it looked like you were going to have to pace yourself, or perhaps use LESS magic.

You put yourself to learning more about witchcraft. The thing was, your grandmother's books didn't really go into the basics, and as witches were so rare, information was hard to find. Of course, the internet was full of supposed witch spells, or frameworks, but it was like throwing dice. Some spells didn't work. Some spells took up WAY too much energy. Some were just… fine? But not what you needed. 

Next you checked out forum sites. Maybe you could find a community through that way? But all you found were psychics and tarot readers. Nice people, but not what you needed.

Whelp. Maybe you needed to look at the issue differently. The environment used to be a beautiful, thriving area. What had changed between now and then? In order to understand a magic ecosystem, you had to understand ecosystems. So, for the rest of the week you busied yourself with ecology study. It was turning out that this project you had adopted on a whim would need a lot more time and breadth of knowledge then you originally thought.

***

When you met with Rena, under Lyith’s friendly gaze, you found that the magic you had cast hadn't waned at all. The flowers had grown beautifully and continued to give magic nectar that created the best honey. Rena was beside herself. “The elders of the hive say they haven't had honey of this quality since they were children! You are really onto something here, little one.”

Rena had now gotten in the habit of calling you little one. Sure, as a Bee-man she was slightly taller than you, but not by much. Also the constant fluttering and floating didn't help. 

“You've been given permission to test your magic on our other gardens as well. As long as we are careful and continue with caution!” Rena babbled. You gave her a small smile and felt Lyiths arm on your shoulder. He laid his head on your other shoulder, leaning his fuzzy head against yours. 

“Whats wrong?”

You wiggled a little. “I'm just having a hard time brainstorming how to do this. I know I said I'd help you guys, but I might not be able to use as much magic as last time. To be honest, I don't really know much about my mana and my limits…” you explained your situation. Expecting there to be disappointment, you were surprised to find none.

“I can’t help but think… How long will this last? One spell isn’t going to cut it for that long. I want to create something that will last for you guys, but that might take a while… and doing just this took all the mana I had. I want to do better. But I don’t want to hurt myself either, especially when I don’t know how this could affect my health in the long run…” The bee-men seemed to be catching on.

“Of course, little one. We wouldn't want you to harm yourself.”

 Lyith also popped up, his voice almost in your ear.

“Us Bee-men also have something like mana. Our magic is not never ending. We would have fixed this situation ourselves if it was.”

Rena reached forward and grabbed your hand, giving it a reassuring pat. “We don't have to do anything today. We can commence whenever you'd like. Our flowers have spread out beautifully and even this is enough.”

You frowned.

“I may have to do this every spring. Or even redo it in the summer…”

“You don’t owe us anything. You are trying your best to do us a kindness. And our hive knows and sees that. We are beyond grateful to you… Its… We’ve needed…We are truly grateful.” His expression fell at the mention of his hive, his antennas drooping. Rena moved forward and held Lyith, a sad expression on her own face.

There was a pause in conversation that grew somewhat awkward.

How do I make this better? You tried to brainstorm, but only one thing came to mind. 

You went over and gave the both of them a big bear hug. It was a tense one, but you tried to adjust your emotions, instead concentrating on how fond you had grown of the two. You tried to shout it as loud as you could through your brain at them.

This seemed to break the spell, as Rena started to laugh. Lyith looked at you affectionately. 

“I know we haven't known each other long, but I just want to say, you can count on me. If you ever need to talk about anything let me know. I'll listen.”

Rena and Lyith hummed in response, returning your group hug with a long squeeze.

Long hugs. The favorite actions of a Bee-men.

After some quiet reassurances, the two of you decided to idle while the two foraged on the edge of the Wood. You walked with them and asked them as many questions you could think of. How old were they? Were they able to do other magics? You had thought Bee-men to be isolated. How come they knew so much about human culture?

Lyith was the one who answered you most of the time. It seemed that bee-man typically lived double the life of a human, with Rena and Lyith being about 45, and 51, Lyith being the oldest. They were in the same season of life as you though!

Bee-man could do some other magics(they didn't go much into what), but they specialized in making their magical honey, which fortified the health and wellbeing of a Bee-men. 

They didn’t say it outright but it seemed like the dip in magic had affected the nutrition of their food source. They kept their own bees and shared honey, but it still wasn't enough, so they had ventured out into human society to buy fruit when it was necessary. They also did trade with neighboring beast-men, the Wolfmen being happy to share their fruit for their Bee’s wax waste. I 

“What exactly do you guys do for fun though?” You asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Lyith smiled. “Late night flying is fun.”

Rena snorted. “You mean late night spying. Lyith has a habit of looking through people's windows.”

Lyith wrinkled his nose at Rena. “If they did not want to be seen they would have drawn the curtains. It's not strange, I am just curious about human life is all.”

Rena reached forward and pinched Lyiths nose. “Poor thing. So bored he must make mischief.”

You looked at Lyith with surprise. His big eyes grew in concern and he pouted at you.

“You are not going to tease me too are you? I promise, I never see anything scandalous. I'm a good little bee.” He fluttered his eyes at you.

You giggled and pushed his shoulder. 

“As long as you're not spying on me I guess it's harmless.”

Lyiths expression shifted to one of his dopey smiles. It always surprised you how innocent he could look despite his size. Was it maybe…

“So… I may have read that you guys are telepathic right?” 

Renas face changed into a smirk. 

“Yes, and?”

“ Well, have you guys ever… used your powers on me?” 

Rena snorted. Lyith gave you an unreadable expression. “We Bee-man are very particular about sharing our heads outside of our hives. But no. We haven't done anything to you if that's what you meant…”

Oh. He was pouting now.

“No! Thats not what I meant! I just… i feel so comfortable around you guys it's almost supernatural. I just. Idk. Wanted to know. Please I didn't mean anything by it!”

Lyith wrinkled his nose at you and Rena continued to seem amused. You felt helpless and got a bit upset with yourself. You did your best to calm yourself down but you were upset. You had so few friends here and you were afraid you blew it. A wave of loneliness swept through you.

Lyith was watching you the whole time, before sighing. “All will be forgiven if you give us some of those fruit tarts you made yesterday.”

You looked at him, shocked. 

“I thought you said you didn't spy on me!”

“I wasn't spying, I just happened to be foraging by the window, and smelled something amazing. It was all incidental.”

“There's sugar in the crust. Won’t your tummy get upset?”

He just smiled. Rena laughed. “He named his price. For offending us, we must get fruit tarts.”

Finally feeling better, the three of you walked(they let you walk!!!) Back to your home. You served them up your tarts, when finally the questions started coming about you. Why did you move here? Do you have any siblings? What were you like as a child?

This went on until dinner time, at which point you decided to shoo your new friends away. “ I'll be back to do the flowers tomorrow. We… we will see what I can do.” You admitted. The two of them smiled at you, hugging you tight for a good three minutes. They always lingered, nuzzling your face and hair, as if they were getting a whiff of you. You could smell their own perfume and tried not to think too much. Their goodbyes always felt so intimate. 

 Rena decided to pepper your face in kisses before they left. Lyith just rolled his eyes at her. When they drew apart you felt empty, like some piece of you was going with them.

***

As always, Lyith picked you up that morning. This time, you made sure to bring a scarf and hat, alongside emergency snacks in your bag. Where he was taking you next was a little longer of a trip, a whole ten minutes to the usual six. That was a long time when you were hurtling through the air.

You were surprised to drop into a small crowd. There were ten Bee-men present besides Rena, who seemed to be communicating silently with them. The air was full of bee noises; humming, purring, the fluttering of wings. The air smelled amazingly fresh, floral and syrupy. It was an odd smell, but it seemed to put you at ease somehow. And maybe a bit peckish.

A Beeman a whole foot and a half taller then Rena fluttered towards you. They bowed, of which you awkwardly returned before they reached forward and took your hand gently. Lyith started,

“This is Elder Bisou. He is the eldest of our hive. He is showing you respect.”

Elder Bisou smiled at you. “Little Witch, I welcome you to our territory. My human is a bit… unused. Please receive our thanks for your efforts.” He took your hand and leaned down so that it met his temple. You could feel the rush of his magic, like your mind was a fish bowl and he was putting a gentle hand on the glass. You could feel his warmth, his deep gratitude through it. 

Your back straightened and you felt water prick your eyelids. You gave him a slow nod, becoming acutely aware just how serious this whole situation actually was. Rena and Lyith had been dancing around it, but the Bee-men must be slowly starving to death. That was the only explanation for the depths of what you had felt.

“I will do my best.” Was all you could reply. 

Lyith, acting as your translator, took you to each Bee-men he could and introduced you. It seemed that some of the elders, as well as some of those who had free time had come to watch the “little witch” work. Most took your hand gently, and sent you a ghost of what their emotions were. There was a sort of film around the emotions, a barrier of sorts. Whether this was on purpose so you wouldn’t be overwhelmed, or just how their telepathy worked, you couldn't tell. 

You did your best to not let your nerves get to you as you dissected the sections of the field where you would be doing your experiments. You didn’t know how these particular flowers would take to your spell, so it was still best to be cautious. The bee-men looked on with interest.

You did your chants in a loud booming fashion, and channeled in as elegant a fashion as you could. Like always, the magic came, and the spell did its work. These flowers were different, like rainbow colored lavender. Rather than letting the magic gush through you, you let it gently trickle out, pacing yourself. When the deeds were done, you still felt sore, and you still held a headache in your temple, but there was no nausea, so growth! 

Once you were done with your work, there was a large excited buzzing throughout the forest. There was clapping, dancing, stomping of feet, pumping of many hands, whoops from Rena and Lyith. One Bee, a worker named Aidenn held a small wooden instrument in his hands and started to play. This triggered a chorus from the Bee-men. There was a harmonizing among the crowd and they started to circle each other, laughing and dancing. A circle of flying, spinning Bee-men formed.

Rena grabbed you by the waist and hoisted you onto her shoulder before joining in the circle of the dance. You giggled as you spun, feeling the giddiness in the air like it was laughing gas. That same pressure filled your mind and a part of your heart started to soar. It was intimate, but not stifling and you loved feeling so close to everyone.

You lifted your hands and, feeling in the spirit, decided to hum along. At some point Rena had taken you in her arms and held you close as they continued to fly in a circle, spinning and perrying, and switching. It was similar to square dancing, where there was a pattern to it. 

At one point, the tune changed and Lyith swooped down from above and grabbed you out of Rena’s arms. She snorted at him but let it happen, joining hands with another passing Bee-men. When Lyith gathered you in his arms, he cradled you as close as possible, surprising you. One hand was gripping firmly around your waist and the other crushing you to him. He landed on the ground, and the rest of the bee-men followed, causing something of a ballroom dance. 

“You did wonderfully today.” He breathed in your ear, causing them to redden. You pulled yourself back a bit to see his face and he was looking at you with such pride and affection it felt like a weight crushing your chest. You moved your hands from his shoulders to reach his own hands. You were shaky, but you wanted to return his feelings somehow. His palms were soft.

This caused him to laugh, a purring sort of trill coming from his throat. You couldn’t help a silly grin form on your face.

“I’m glad you came to my garden.” Was all you could think to say.

He looked at you, with those big black eyes, then reached forward and kissed you on the lips. It was only a peck, but you could feel his joy through it. 

Something complex within you, a mix of happiness, excitement, hope, all of your feelings rose up into your throat. Unable to find the words to express yourself, you took all of those big heavy emotions, wrapped them all up together and kissed him back, right there, in the middle of your makeshift dance floor.

When you pulled away Lyith looked shocked, his bottom lip hanging open. Adorable as usual. 

Rena hollered from the otherside of the gathering, sending out a big whoop. There was laughter, buzzing and an echoing whoop from some of the younger bee-men. Elder Bisou made some clicking sounds, but the sides of his mouth were slightly upturned.

It occurred to you then that you were in the middle of a group of very telepathic monster people. Your cheeks grew hot in embarrassment and you pulled away from Lyith a bit. Your shoes suddenly became very interesting. 

Lyith eventually turned your chin back up to face him. He held a small peaceful smile, before bumping his forehead to yours. He didn’t share his emotions but the affection was still there.

After you grew too tired to dance, you took a seat under a tree, munching on a granola bar. Another one of the Bee-men, a younger drone named Haven, made his way to sit next to you.

“I don’t know if it was mentioned, but honey production has picked up enormously since you agreed to help us. I haven’t felt this great in… well ever! Thank you little witch!”

“I’m not little, but thank you for saying so.” You were starting to get a bit lightheaded now, and not from the dancing. It was possible that some of the symptoms of mana sickness were surfacing a little late.

“You are strong! That is true! Even elder Bisou has said he hasn’t met a human or beastman with mana like yours!” Haven turned his voice down to a whisper, as if he was sharing a secret, “Your magic smells so much like flowers, really, its a huge blessing! In fact, I would eat you up if I could!” He laughed as if he had made a joke. He sighed and looked up dreamily at the sky. “Alas, I am saving myself for when we find our queen.” He wrapped his arms around himself, as if to fend off imaginary suitors.

You wrinkled your nose. “Queen? You don’t have a queen? Isn’t that super bad for bees, I mean bee-men?” 

Heaven tilted his head at you, reminding you of Lyith. 

“Of course. That's why we are all so small and weak.” You stared at him in shock. He put up his hands. “We are doing well though! It's been 20 years since our queen died but we are still here! Oh! There is a hive up north! Any day now, one of their queens' daughters might descend and bless us! Or.. Or we--”

“Little One! You seem like you're getting sick!” Rena Descended from above and put a hand to your forehead.

“You are far too warm! Haven, mind if I take her out of your wings?”

Heaven looked up at Rena, his face a mask of confusion. He eventually gave in though and stood up.

“I should check on Elder Bisou! He might need something!” His voice was flat, obviously fake, but he ran away- flew away with gusto.

Rena took your face into her hands, tilting your head back and forth. Your lightheadedness turned full on dizzy. Rena’s face screwed up in an annoyed expression.

“You overdid it. And after that whole speech about not knowing your limits too..” She gently put a hand on your back and picked you up princess style. You would have been embarrassed, if your brain was functioning properly. Instead your gaze fixed on Rena’s beautiful iridescent wings. The lights were so lovely and they helped ground you. Honestly, everything about Rena was lovely. Well, maybe lovely wasn’t the right word. She was rough around the edges. A tease and a know it all. But she doted on you so, it made you feel a bit overwhelmed. Your gaze shifted from her wings to her lovely nose, pretty sharp for a bee-men. 

Rena started conversing with Lyith about you, pointing her jaw and humming. Huh. Rena was actually incredibly attractive. You had known that before. Maybe it was something about how dizzy everything was. The last time you had felt this way she had been kissing you, her textured tongue pushing nectar down your thoat-

“Little One”

Your mind immediately focused. She was using a demanding tone. 

“Lyith will take you home. Next time, we will only do one spell at a time.” She leaned forward and placed her cool lips to the side of your mouth. Making you blush. Well your face was already heated so you would have blushed. “I will see you again soon. Rest.” And she was off.

You were in Lyith’s arms again. A place you were starting to get comfortable in. He stared at you for a moment, his lips pursed, then sighed loudly. He held your gaze for a moment.

“I do not like this habit you are forming. You will not get sick again, understand?” 

You nodded at him, mind hazy. Sleepy. You were sleepy. 

You didn’t register the fly home, only that the coolness felt nice. You were carried from the porch, into the living room, up the stairs, and laid on your bed. You were covered in warm, delicious blankets. 

You never saw Lyith leave before you passed out. Probably because he tucked himself in right beside you, the cool air washing over both of you from the open bedroom window.

[not-goldy]

Pretty sure Jk knows he's being used & singled out, but anything that happens he knows benefits him in the long run. The more exposure, the more power and leverage he'll have when negotiating in the future. This man is discovering he has power & believe he ain't walking til OT7 Jimin does, but the day it comes, they better be ready. Jk literally rubbing it in Hybe's faces about Jimin's song being on top Radio (which they tried to sabotage) And Jimin doing the same constantly talking about Seven on the charts. A power couple who's not afraid to let that company know they know. We love to see it. I mean the man went on a public Jimin rampage blasting Jimin's Face, when that lame ass company didn't do a damn thing & was screaming he misses Jimin and next thing happening is the company is like here he is, go enjoy your all expense paid trips, but for the love of god stop showing your ass publicly. We can't defend you anymore lol. I'm waiting for calm & cool Jimin to snap, then it'll all come tumbling down. Remember this song he sent to Tae? Don't Lose Sight, by Lawrence?

"Are you kidding me? I'm getting sick of the industry. I've had enough of the make believe. Am I lost or found? I'm getting sick of the ups and downs. No need to give me the run around. I'm out, This shit's gonna kill me but I won't let it. And I try to give 'em hell but they don't get it. So I tell myself when I sleep at night don't lose sight, baby. And they try to give me up but I won't give in and this life will get ya down but I keep livin. Are you kidding me? I'm getting sick of the in between Running in place isn't interesting To me. Am I good enough? Does that even matter or is it luck? I'm checking the prices on giving up. And this shit ain't ever gonna change."

Jungkook has always known his power. I use to make blogs about this especially on how he leverages his audience to force the company's hand.

It used to be so subtle- well not so subtle to some of us. We seasoned 😌

It's a power play the things they bring to the internet to discuss sometimes. Tae does it, Jimin does it ever so smoothly you barely know he is doing it.

My favorite being when I speculated JK was "allegedly" banned from vlive for a while and Jimin had to come on live and deliberately read comments about Jungkook and how people wanted to see him. Next thing we know, the next day hybe had Jungkook before the cameras- but on YouTube live and not vlive🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

And when we speculate that a particular post has hidden meanings people act like we on drugs- which they not wrong but we on the right drugs😌

Now look, look at him not even pretending anymore straight confirming and doubling down on his hidden messaging.

This why I don't give a fuck about no one's opinion you know? I trust my opinion better and may be that of a few other bloggers and friends. We have our heads screwed on the right way if I do say so myself

[procyo9]

not only we still don't have a beer pose in cyberpunk 2077, BUT THERES STILL NO NG+ COME ON

[unluckywisher]

MY GRANDMA SOLD ME TO LOVE AND DEEPSPACE????

A/N: This is exactly what you think it is. 2013 called and they want their Wattpad fanfics back. Cringe and cheesy and stupid and OOC on purpose. Let's have fun and relive this beautiful era of the internet. I wrote this as fast as I could and without checking for mistakes, in the true fashion of these fics. Written in first person, and using 'y/n'. Xavier, Rafayel, Zayne, Sylus and Caleb are in a band called 'Love and Deepspace'.

Part 1?

I woke up after hearing some people talking downstairs, which was strange, because usually it's just me and my grandma, Josephine. Ugh, visitors?

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I was wearing a One Direction shirt and pajama pants, and honestly I didn't feel like changing, so I just threw my hair in a messy bun and went back to my room to check my phone before going downstairs.

Like always, I had no new messages. Not even from my best friend. Well, 'ex' best friend. Ever since we went to that Love and Deepspace concert she had been a bitch to me, all because one of the singers looked at me during the concert, which I didn't even want to go to in the first place, I went so she wouldn't be alone, that's why I took a book with me to read while they performed. But it just so happened that one of the boys on the stage saw me with the book and kinda looked at me and smiled, which made her really jealous.

Anyways, I'm not like other girls. They all like this new boyband, but not me. I like reading. The guy that looked at me wasn't even that hot or anything.

But back to the present, I headed downstairs, and...

"Y/n! Why are you still in your pajamas?" Scolded my grandma, who was surrounded by a bunch of guys. "We have visitors!"

The visitors nodded and waved a hand at me, smiling.

I looked at them, and realization slowly dawned on me. These were... These were the Love and Deepspace boys. What were they doing here!?

"Grandma, what's going on?" I frowned.

"We have no money left. Your grandpa, may his soul rest in peace, left us with a debt that I cannot continue paying. That is why I'm selling you to the town's mafia." She explained.

"Wh-wh-what?" I gasped, stumbling like I was about to faint. "M-m-mafia!? Is there no other way to solve this!? Can't I start working part time!?" I tried to find another solution.

"No, my little unicorn. Now, pack your bags, you're leaving right now." She turned back to the men and started lively talking to them.

My orbs looked down, tears starting to form, and I ran back to my room, slamming my door in anger. How could she do this to me? Didn't she love me?

I took all my things and put them in a suitcase, and everything conveniently fit inside as I closed the zipper with no problem.

There were so many things I didn't understand. First, what kinda shady business was my grandpa part of when he was alive? Second, had my grandma always been looking for ways to get rid of me? I mean, she kept making jokes about killing me over and over, but they were just that, jokes, right? Thirdly, the famous boyband LADS was apparently a mafia?

I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding as I walked downstairs again, still on my pajamas. I was too depressed to change my clothes.

"Ready, cutie?" Said the purple-haired guy with a wink.

I huffed, making him laugh.

"Someone's not in a good mood." Pointed out the black haired guy.

You think, smartass?

"She should be, a lot of girls would die to be in her shoes..." Said the brown haired guy, playfully.

I want to die alright.

"I'm sure she'll warm up to us." Said the white haired guy, smirking.

In your dreams.

"Well, for now, maybe we should get properly introduced." Concluded the ashy blond.

I didn't say any of what I was thinking out loud, but I wish I did. The last guy was right, though, because I actually didn't know their names, I hadn't bothered to ever learn them, not even when my ex best friend invited me to their concert.

One by one, they introduced themselves as Rafayel, Zayne, Caleb, Sylus and Xavier. Names I probably would forget later, since I didn't care about any of this, much less them.

"I'm Y/n." I said weakly. The events were taking a toll on me, and it showed on my voice.

"Well, introductions done, it's time to leave," said my grandma, pushing everyone out of the door with surprisingly strong arms, "have fun, Y/n. And you boys can transfer the money this afternoon, yes? Good. See ya!"

I couldn't believe her. How was she so unaffected by the fact that her only grandchild was being sold?

"Here," Caleb took my suitcase, "I'll carry it to the van."

How nice. Not. What kind of intentions did they have with me? I didn't trust them one bit.

"You know, a smile might do you good," said Rafayel, poking my face.

I swatted his hand away, and he made an exaggerated face of pain, moving away like I was some sort of vile creature.

"She comes from a poor family, do you think she has rabies?" He protested. I facepalmed.

"Don't worry, I'll do a medical check-up on her once we arrive," said Zayne calmly.

I wanted to sink to the ground and curl up to cry. How were these men treating me like this... So naturally?

Sylus opened the van door for me and I got in. Once everyone was seated, Zayne started driving. Away from my home... And into the unknown.

Should I do part 2 and lemons at some point?

Divider by @/cafekitsune

[the-great-ladyg]

Did someone notice in the new Somerton's video that he didn't adress any of the misogyny or transphobia accusations? Like, yeah, he said "people say I hate women but that's not true" and only that. And he also addressed the misinformation, in which we can include the misgendering, but he still didn'h fully talk about this even when those accusations were, along with plagiarism, the most talked about on the internet.

This dude didn't give any reason for why "he doesn't hate" women or trans people, it truly was a "source: dude trust me" and Somerton expects us to believe him, when no, he threw shit on women in every chance he got, he showed transphobia in many times for no fucking reason other than he's got something against women and trans people.

And he also didn't address any of the racism people has pointed out since a long time, but more specially since HBomberguy and Todd's video. This dude only focused on plagiarism, and even that he sucked at since he implied it was an accident. How can you plagiarize on accident?, you have to write, to read, to check what you're doing, he read and Nick's scripts, he must have noticed the copying and still left it with no citation. He said he loves investigating and reading, then he must notice the copying, yet he also said he "didn't notice", like this dude can't recognize he did this on purpose, it was all "an accident".

Also, he just tried shifting the blame, placing it on Nick or, again, like it was an accident and he didn't mean to it. Somerton knew what he was doing, all of us are taught at school, specially college, that plagiarism not only is bad, it it diminishes the quality and credibility of the person that stole those words, it can get you expelled or fired, and let's not forget the people you're hurting by stealing from them, and this case the people whose experiences and words were stolen. Somerton is in a more privileged position than many people in the LGBTQ+ community since he's a cis white man, and yet he decided to attack this way many POC and trans people, not only he stole their words, but he also used racist and transphobic rhetoric, he misgendered, he erased sexualities and put all of us on the same box of "cis straight white women".

"I wanted to make my channel a safe space", yeah, sure man, like saying all the negative things of an MLM media is straight cis women's fault, or misgendering, erasing the bisexuality of a woman or changing "trans" for "queer" is going to make to make your channel a safe for queer women and trans people.

I just deep down know he won't change at all, maybe except for the citations, but we must expect he'll continue being a misogynist racist transphobe dumbass that will keep ignoring this accusations and using the homophobia card.

I really feel sorry if he truly felt so bad he harmed himself and ended up on an hospital, if that's real I hope he gets better and never gets to that point again. Maybe I'm naive, but I want to believe this is not a tactic to manipulate us to forgive him, but... idk, I just expect anything from this man that has used the homophobia card to protect his ass from any criticism.

But talking by myself, as a genderfluid AFAB person who consumes and creates queer content and felt so insulted by his racism, his misogyny and transphobia, and noticing how he avoided the topic, I don't accept his apology and hope he disappears from the internet before he can do any more damage.

[wittlesissyb4by]

"Uhh...are you supposed to interrupt me while i'm camming?" Jimmy's step-mother snapped as he timidly entered the room.

"No Mommy...I just--"

"You're lucky I just started and there aren't many people in yet." She said, annoyed, but not completely dismissing him. Terri could have abandoned Jimmy just like his father did, but she always had a strange attachment to the boy. Like a lost puppy you just had to take care of.

But there were rules. Terri didn't trust the 'men' in the house to use the toilet proper. They constantly left sprinkles on the seat, or left the seat up altogether. She decided long ago with Jimmy's father that diapers were the way to go. For both him and his 22-year old son.

Jimmy's dad hated it, but Jimmy--though reluctant at first--eventually took to them like a moth to a flame. Jimmy was always a wayward kid. Lacking direction, and not very independent. He liked having someone to tell him what to do. To care for him, even if it was in a somewhat demanding, demeaning way.

They depended on each other. They both had jobs, but it wasn't always enough to make ends meat, so Terri started up a side hustle.

"So what is it?" she asked, maintaining that testy tone. "Do you need your diaper changed? Or do you just have a stiffy situation?"

"I...I..."

"Pull down your pants."

"Nnghh no..Mommy..I...I..." he whimpered as he undid his belt buckle and pulled his pants down to his ankles, "I didn't mean to interrupt you I just--"

"Hush." She said, knowing he probably didn't have anything to say. He just needed some attention. A little direction. A little dominating. "Suck your thumb to keep you quiet. Or do you need your paci?"

He blushed, shakily putting his thumb in his mouth. It made Terri feel warm inside, seeing him obey and knowing he was secretly happy to do it, unlike his father, who she couldn't get to agree to much on anything.

"Good boy, now come here." she said, "Now come let Mommy check your diaper."

Jimmy waddled forward as much as his pulled down pants would allow.

Terri groped the front and back of Jimmy's pamper with no regard for Jimmy's personal space. He didn't seem to mind, though. Judging by the prominent throbbing coming from beneath the warm, bloated padding.

"Oh my!! Someone has quite the pamper poker in there!" she mused. Continuing to knead and rub the front of the soaking wet diaper. Jimmy blushed and whimpered, but didn't stop her. In fact, he pressed further into her.

"Awww! You poor boi! Do you need Mommy to take care of it real quick?"

Jimmy nodded harder, whining desperately.

"Ohhhhoho you do, huh?" Terri giggled. It made her melt to see him so worked up. She enjoyed being his little caregiver. It gave her a weird sense of purpose in a life where she otherwise hadn't found any. Of course the situation was bizarre, but hey, with how much Step-mom p0rn was on the internet, people didn't seem too put off by it, so why should she?

"Mmmm who's my big boi?" she asked, his diaper harder and faster now. "Are you gonna make a goo goo in your diaper for Mommy? Hmm? Are you gonna make it nice and sticky with your cummies? Do it for Mommy baybee. Cum in your diaper!"

It didn't take long. In less than 30 seconds, Jimmy was quivering and doing everything he could to keep his legs from collapsing while he busted a big, fat load into his already warm diaper.

"Good boyyy...good baybee..." Terri cooed, continuing to rub him softly while he came down from his high. Once he breathed a hefty, satisfied sigh, she tapped the front of his plump pamper dismissively.

"Off you go." she said, "Mommy has some work she has to do. Go play with your games or something. Mommy will be in in a little while to nurse you."

Jimmy nodded, thumb still in his mouth, but unable to hide a tiny smirk of glee. He didn't even pull his pants back up, just waddled back out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Terri sighed, smiling.

"Oh shit!" she exclaimed, suddenly remembering the live feed she had going. She raced to her computer. "Sorry about that!" she said, checking to see how many viewers she lost during that little episode.

But instead of dropping from the usual 80 or so viewers, the lobby had jumped to almost 2,000! The tips and comments were rolling in.

"Wish I had a step-mom like that!"

"She's sooo fine!"

"The diapers were weird at first, but now I'm kind of intrigued ngl"

"Always wanted to be a diapered dork for a beautiful woman!"

"FINALLY! Some good abdl stuff!"

"It's kinky as hell. But i'm here for it.

"New favorite channel."

"Subscribed!"

Terri couldn't believe it. The money was rolling in, the numbers were skyrocketing!

And it was right then that she realized there was about to be a very new type of Step-mother p0rn on the market.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was a weird one, I know. Not usually into this sort of relationship, but I had an idea and had to run with it.

Credit for making this wonderful pic goes to @zzk13122

Follow me here, Subscribestar, or Allmylinks to stay updated!

Another random place too: @wittle5i55ybaby Just in case.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

For as long as I've had cash to carry, I've carried a little cash in my wallet explicitly to give anyone out panhandling when I'm running errands, or hitchhikers when I drop them off. I learned the habit from my mom who carried a lil tote bag in the trunk with cash, travel hygeine kits, and nut/wheat free protein bars and water bottles. She picked up a lot of people on the way out to Chico and other ag towns, and it was important to her that she always leave them at their destination with resources.

One day, I was driving a date home from lunch and we had our leftovers in the car with us. I pulled off to give a man a little younger than I am now my on-hand cash and when we drove off my date started scolding me for giving him my money instead of giving him our leftovers.

I was, frankly, stunned. The idea that it would be better to hand the man a styrofoam box with a half eaten burger than to give him a $10 bill he could use to buy his own food was baffling to me.

"Well, if he's really homeless, I'm sure he'd be grateful for anything. And besides, he's just some stranger off the street! Why do you just believe what his sign says?" My date was so sure that I had given the man money because I pitied him. Because I wanted to help. Simply couldn't fathom that I'd done it because he asked and I could do so.

See, I don't give out my on-hand cash because people are needy and I am benevolent. I do it because people who ask for what they need have to be able to interact with people who will give them what they ask for in full recognition of their humanity. It's what lets you KEEP asking for what you need when it matters or is hard. And trust me. No one is asking a road full of strangers to help them meet their needs if it didn't matter to do so. I don't really care WHY they need what they need or if they're honest with me about it. It's not important to me to know those things. Someone asked. I could answer. So I did.

I've been seeing the conversation of "can you really trust who people say they are on the internet? Why are you giving money to strangers? What if they're scamming you?" popping back up more often as the world descends into conflict and climate change and medical neglect. I get it. If people can just post a sob story and get away with defrauding people of thousands of dollars, it feels unjust! Maybe you're even offended on behalf of ACTUAL victims and the money they might not get because it went to a fraudster!

It sounds just like my date that day, so sure that I was giving money to a young man on a street corner because I saw him as broken and in need of my salvation. If you are giving to strangers and upset that the money may serve different functions than you believed at the time, then why ARE you giving to strangers? Why do you feel so entitled to micromanage someone's life because you might give or have given them a gift? Perhaps you should reserve your gifts for those whom you won't feel compelled to attach strings.

I give to fundraisers online not because I assume every one is genuine. Do I check things out? Sure! But I also assume that once I have chosen to give, even someone who has been totally honest in their pleas may still spend "my money" on something unrelated. Why should I care? It was a gift. It's not mine anymore.

"But I could/would have spent it better!" Then you should have. But you chose to spend it by making it a gift. You don't get to dominate somebody because of that. If you're NOT confident that you are fine never thinking about the money again once you give it to the person in question, don't give it to them! But don't make yourself the person who demands why others give cash to panhandlers who "might not actually need it" instead of some other, more insulting option. Honestly best practice is probably to Simply Not Comment on how others spend their money unless it is somehow also your money and you need to access it.

I think it would be good to learn that about online fundraisers too. Especially when the consequences of falsely naming someone a faker or a fraud is, as it so often has been when it comes to the dynamic of begging strangers for money, a fucking death sentence. Maybe you just let people make the choice they're most comfortable with and do the same for yourself without acting like you have the right to the roles of judge, jury, and executioner.

And if you think this is about a specific set of fundraisers? Yes. It is. It's about nearly every surge of desperate fundraising I've seen over the last decade. And I'm sure it'll be about the next decade's worth too. The internet is the modern world's traffic stop, and social media fundraising is the new panhandling. The arguments for and against haven't changed just because the medium has.

[luckthebard]

So this is a very niche rant that is probably only something I've noticed or been annoyed by, but:

The longer Critical Role has gone on and the more changes they've made/content they've created, there's been an increase in weird people who are desperate and determined to prove that changes or content they don't like are "an objective failure" - but often lie or deliberately misunderstand viewership statistics to do so.

There are a few big "facts" I see repeated by people to argue that CR has "gone in the wrong direction" that are just plain wrong, and I think what annoys me most is seeing so many people engage with those "facts" without bothering to double-check them or push back against the certainty with which people state them. An example of one I keep seeing now is "twitch streaming numbers are down" and it's like, yeah, sure, in comparison to when they didn't simultaneously air on YouTube. If you add up the YT and Twitch numbers these days it's about the same as mid-late C2, but people love to act like YT streaming doesn't exist to make a point that "people don't like C3". And I tbh don't care if people like or dislike C3 but why this determination to falsely quantify and validate a personal preference?

The earliest I saw this was an intense agreement on reddit that Exandria Unlimited was a "failure" for CR, "unlike Undeadwood," because viewership numbers were lower. And it was tbh baffling to not see pushback against that narrative, because it's just objectively untrue. Original EXU's VOD streaming numbers are higher than every single episode of Undeadwood, and it premiered literally years later. It also has a lower "drop-off" in viewership (comparison of how many views episode 1 vs the finale has) than Undeadwood, despite frequent claims to the contrary. And don't mistake me here, I really enjoyed Undeadwood, but it actually was a viewership misstep for CR to the degree that they didn't try anything like it again for a while after and significantly changed how they approached marketing and airing miniseries. (A big one being: don't air a long miniseries simultaneously with the main series, it's too much content for most people to invest in during a week.)

(Sidebar, but another great miniseries CR did that didn't get a lot of viewership love is the Elder Scrolls Online trilogy, so I'm going to plug it here. It has some weirdly low viewership numbers on episodes 2 and 3 and I promise you they're both well worth it.)

The other one I keep seeing is "4 Sided Dive has lower numbers than Talks" which is also just not true. Most 4 Sided Dive VODs have nearly twice as many views as Talks VODs (and I'm using the ones that aired directly on the CR channel as a metric here, not the ones re-uploaded from G&S which lost numbers in the change-over). And I'll tbh chalk that up to the fact 4SD airs much less frequently - people are more likely to think it's necessary to watch whereas with Talks if you weren't interested in the guests you might skip a week. I'm not making any claims about the quality of either show, but the use of false viewership statistics to support "one of these sucks" is so rampant and so weird.

All this to say that yesterday I saw a weird viewer-hungry YouTube clickbait video titled "Midst a FAILURE for Critical Role!!" with a truly absurd confidence on what the VOD streaming numbers for the Midst YouTube videos mean for the series mere days after the premier and snapped.

tl;dr, people just make shit up and say whatever on the internet all the time and we hopefully all understand and expect that BUT (and here's the more annoying thing) 9 times out of 10 people just engage with that WITHOUT LOOKING INTO IT THEMSELVES

[pascaloverx]

Rewrite The Stars

Chapter Two

Summary: One photo changes your whole life, when you accidentally bump into a celebrity and the world starts to believe that you are a couple.

chapter one. chapter three

The next day you woke up with a sore body, feeling as if life had shaken you. You lost your job and your dignity in the same night. But at least he met Pedro Pascal and spoke to him. Unfortunately this won't pay your bills but it will be a good story to tell your future children. You slowly get up feeling the daylight hitting your face. You woke up to your cell phone ringing like crazy. Damn charges that don't let an unemployed woman sleep in peace. But there's something different today, a strange noise outside of people almost whispering. None of your neighbors whisper. Everyone either shouts or speaks very loudly, which in your ears is the same thing. Will someone be arrested or caught cheating in an apartment near yours?

Your curiosity takes over you and you peek out the window while watching countless messages from your best friend. She first asks if you have anything to tell her, then tells you to turn on the tv. You don't understand anything, and on the street there are people hiding near your apartment like vultures. Then you turn on the television and come across photos of you and Pedro Pascal last night. Photos taken out of context.

Without context, what was him stopping me from falling to the ground turned into him holding me romantically. And him giving you the check as a tip became him paying for the "time" you spent together. What the hell is that?

You take out your cell phone and search for the mysterious woman who is having an affair with Pedro Pascal and several pages appear with those photos you saw on television. But you were still feeling safe until you saw a post written by your old boss telling the world who this mysterious woman was. And you started to understand who the people outside your apartment were. You began to feel the world around you becoming suffocating. On the internet, there are people wondering what you are to Pedro Pascal: a lover, girlfriend or stalker?

It was when an unknown number called you that you focused on something else, regardless of how confused you were.

"Can you leave your apartment through the back and go to the corner? There's a car waiting." A woman speaks with a serious and assertive tone. You wonder if this isn't some prank or parallel universe where you get screwed every day of your life.

"If you tell me who you are, I can get out the building's fire exit and be in that car in five minutes." You speak with distrust of whoever is on the other side of the call.

"Mr. Pascal's agent. Now be discreet and don't be funny." She says seconds before hanging up on your face. Kind of rude but if she's offering you a way out, that's what you're going to do. It takes no more than two minutes for you to put on a sweatshirt before heading down the fire escape. Yes, you're wearing pajamas but you didn't think you'd have time to take a shower.

"You walk too slowly for a person who's running away, you know?" The same voice on the phone says this to you as you get into the car.

"And you're very rude for someone who makes a living managing famous people, since we're being inconvenient." You say as you sit in the car, putting on your seatbelt then. Only then do you notice that Mr. Pascal is in the car too. In fact, you're sitting next to him. Which is unusual to say the least.

"The girl is right. Sorry for the commotion but we're out of time, which isn't an excuse." Pedro Pascal speaks the first part, addressing the woman in the passenger seat and then speaks looking at you. He extends his hands towards you and you greet him, shaking hands.

"I imagine you're aware that the world thinks you two are having an affair. And while it's not true, it's gotten the media's attention." Pascal's agent doesn't even introduce herself and starts talking about the topic of the moment.

"Let me guess, you think I faked everything and you want me to disappear with the photos?" In today's world, you know that people rarely trust each other.

"I know it wasn't you. Not to mention that anyone wouldn't risk hitting their head on the floor to create a scandal. But we need to resolve this, for the good of both." Pedro Pascal says, looking in your direction deftly. It even seems like he trusts your good intentions.

"For an older man, you trust people easily. But I didn't really publish the photos, or force any of those moments with you." You speak thinking you just accused one of your favorite actors of being naive.

"I don't know what offended me more, being called old or naive. You seemed kinder yesterday." Mr. Pascal speaks pretending to be hurt, which is kind of cute in your opinion.

"Look at them, already tuned in as a couple. It's going to be perfect." The agent speaks in a genuine tone of happiness, which you find strange.

"I'm sorry, what's going to be perfect?" You ask, confused about what she meant.

"You two will be the next Cinderella couple of this generation. The internet is already highly mobilized to know what you are to each other, what you do together. Of course, there are haters but there are many supporters of this couple." She speaks so seriously that you have to laugh. No one will ever believe that you are dating.

"Sorry, but have you gone crazy? Who's going to believe I'm dating him?" You say in total disbelief that this will work.

"We'll leave the details for later, but don't worry. All you have to do is take this relationship contract with you and read it. If you agree, you and Pedro have started a fake relationship as soon as possible. If you refuse, let's pretend this proposal never existed and you can move on with your life." The agent speaks and then asks the car driver to stop near your building.

"And you agreed to all of this?" That's all you say, holding the contract in your hands and getting ready to get out of the car. The question was clearly directed at Mr. Pascal, who seemed surprised.

"I decided to give you a chance, I hope you give me the same opportunity to be your fake boyfriend." That's all he says, opening the car door for you. And then you got out of the car feeling like you were trapped in a very crazy dream.

[deepdreamnights]

The Age Old Debate: Fire Good, or Fire Bad?

This was originally going to be part of this thread, but the points were distinct enough and my thoughts rambly enough that I split it into two posts.

From the recent PalWorld thread:

We gotta handle that last tag in two parts.

Part 1 "the devs admitted to using AI art to make the pals"

First off, that isn't true near as I can tell. I can't find anything of the PalWorld Devs admitting they used AI for PalWorld designs. Palworld had demo footage with Pals in it 2 years ago on June 6 with their announcement trailer, which means they would have had to have started dev much earlier than that.

This is what AI art from June of 2022 looked like:

On the left, Hieronymus Bosch's Pokemon, on the right, Charmander on Gumby.

I did a much deeper breakdown of the "used AI" accusation here. It does not hold water.

Now, I could change my mind on this point if there were linked evidence to the creators of Palworld saying this. But there isn't.

Because the accusation is repeated in a tag, there's no way to include supporting information, or even to easily directly ask the accuser for it. Many people are going to see it, internalize it, and then repeat it uncritically, and that's how rumors and witchhunts start.

Because I've seen a lot of accusations about PalWorld stealing fakemon, and I'm yet to see a smoking gun. There's barely smoke.

Gonna hit the second point in that tag, but while we're on the theme of spreading misinfo:

Part 2 of the Tag: Using AI to Brainstorm is "Bad"

This is also an assertion that would require support, and I believe it to be wholly incorrect.

Plagiarism happens at publication. Not at inception, not inspiration, not even at the production level. The only measure of whether something is or is not "stolen art" is whether what comes out at the end replicates, with insufficient transformation, an existing, fixed expression. Art theft is about what comes out, not about what goes in.

For more about how this works with AI art, I suggest checking out the Electronic Frontier Foundation's statement on the issue. They're the ones looking out for your online civil rights, and I agree with their position on this.

The argument that AI art is theft because it is trained on public-facing material on the internet just doesn't fly. Those are all fixed published works subject to inspiration, study, and transformative recreation under fair use. The utilization of mechanical apparatus does not change that principle.

And fair use that requires permission isn't fair use. That's a license.

Moreover, altering the process to put infringement at inspiration/input or allowing the copyrighting of styles would be the end of art as we know it.

There's no coincidence that the main legal push against AI art on copyright grounds is backed by Adobe and Disney. Adobe is already using AI art as a pretext to lobby congress to let them copyright styles, and Disney owns enough material on its own to produce a dataset that would let them do all the AI they'd ever need to, entirely with material they "own." And they're DOING THAT.

The genie is out of the bottle, they (Disney, Adobe, Warner Bros, Universal) have it, and it can't be taken away from them. They just don't want anyone else using AI to compete with them.

Palworld didn't use AI to conceive of its critters. If it had, they'd have probably been less derivative.

(three random AI fakemon I prompted up as examples of just that)

Both traditional and AI-assisted art can plagerize or be original, its entirely based upon how the techniques are used.

Moreover, you can infringe entirely accidentally without realizing, but you can also fail at copying enough that it becomes a new protected work.

We're well into moral panic territory with AI in general, and there's more than a touch of it around Palworld, largely because people aren't suspicious enough of information that confirms their worldview.

I used the quoted set of tags as the prompt for the top of the post, all the AI images in this post are unmodified and were not extensively guided, and thus do not meet the minimal expression threshold and should be considered in the public domain.

[spicymotte]

How fandom culture killed my creativity

hi. I have some thoughts about my time in a huge fandom and how it changed me:

First of all, I would like to say that these are my personal experiences in a large anime fandom. I have made very good friends with whom I am still in contact today - and I was exposed to a kind of brain rot that has changed the way I deal with art forever. However, this does not apply to every fandom/every person.

this - essay? - is way longer than I thought it would be. More under the cut:

In 2020, after a long break, I was able to get excited about One Piece again. Until then, I had always considered art important to me and I had never been able to do it professionally. (maybe someday...!)

The One Piece fandom is huge. There are now over 1000 manga chapters and anime episodes, which is gigantic; and the fandom itself is just as huge: millions of fans love this manga/anime and exchange ideas about it on the internet. I was previously very limited to tumblr, but then I ventured into OPtwt, the One Piece community on Twitter. There is a lot of fan art, fan fiction and small cliques that like the same character. There is something for everyone. It was great! I had a hyperfixation phase on OP before, in 2017. Now it came back - so violently that I realized very quickly that I could hardly think of anything else but One Piece.

Hyperfixations involve two major factors: an intense obsession with a character (or theme/media/whatever), which often brings with it a bottomless well of inspiration and motivation for artists – and a strange influence on brain chemistry. Neurodivergent people are prone to difficulties with the release of happiness and rewarding hormones anyway, and even though I am in no way qualified to make grand statements, as a person living with AuDHD, hyperfixations are both a blessing and a curse.

Often, the neurodivergent niches in the fandom communities are very lively. On extremely interactive social media like Twitter, TikTok and Instagram, you are flooded with posts of fan art, discussions and also escalation. It quickly becomes stressful for the brain to keep up with it - especially if you manage to accumulate a large number of followers. (also a blessing and a curse!)

I started posting fanart and OC x canon in 2020. I spent most of the last three years on Twitter and I have to say that it set me back in some ways. At first, I was slow to get to know people through fanart, but then I got to know people very quickly: fellow artists that I am still good friends with today and, unfortunately, people who have also succumbed to an incredible, destructive brainrot. I had chosen a character (or rather, my brain did) who plays almost no role in One Piece. All the better, so I pretty much had him to myself and I could do whatever I wanted. The OC x canon community is generally very friendly and respectful, so I found quite a few people who liked what I drew. Cool!

And then it started. With fanart and a small fan club for my OCs, I got more followers and more likes. More retweets and comments, more notifications. The algorithm started to like me and the growth increased steadily. My fandom (OP) account grew, as did my reach.

I checked Twitter more and more. Every free second I took my smartphone in my hand and checked my notifications. I reloaded the page until I had a new notification. I repeated this on Instagram and tumblr. Sometimes I catch myself doing it today, even though I haven't been active in this fandom for over a year!

Likes were good, retweets better. Every notification of an interaction with my art was a push on the feel-good button in my brain. It's very addictive, even if I talked myself out of it at first. The pandemic was at its peak and the internet was the only way to meet friends anyway. All this shit was fast food for my brain.

Then I started drawing fanarts, even though I didn't feel like it. But the likes had to come from somewhere, didn't they? I drew favorites from manga, characters that I didn't even like that much myself. But they were popular, so that promised likes and reach! Every single day, really every day, I drew fanarts. I was disappointed with myself if I didn't.

As of today, my two One Piece art folders have 80GB of data in it! what the fuck!! That's not normal!

I learned a lot during that time and was able to develop my art. I was able to participate in projects, to draw for several zines and also had a lot of fun – but I treated it like a job. Making fan art your job is very difficult – and has a lot of consequences. If you run a merch shop (as I did for a short time), you always have to follow the hype and draw what's in style. You switch fandoms because the hype has just burned out and the next new thing is already in style. If you're one of the first to offer keychains and stickers - or plushies - you make the big money. That brings profit, but in my opinion you can very quickly step on the wrong foot in this jumping around and slip into burnout. (Or stagnate to such an extent that you lose all motivation to refine your artistic skills and become better at your craft.)

I see friends of mine, many of them, who are trying to live off of fandom merch. They all have one thing in common: their skills in art have remained absolutely the same over the past few years or have even declined. If you have to churn out a new batch of merchandise every week, you have to cut corners. There is no time for experiments and crazy studies when you can hardly live and have to produce merch/fan art that sells 100% well.

I don't mean to offend anyone - it's just that I've been thinking a lot about my own setbacks as an artist since I've been dealing with them so intimately. And I've definitely made some setbacks!

In 2021-2023, fandom life continued and got worse and worse. Checking my smartphone, drawing something every day to post it - just so that the algorithm doesn't sort me out. Posting daily is the number one rule on all Social Media, unfortunately. But I did it, no matter how burned out I felt.

And then there were the dramas on Twitter: internet puritans, antis and proshippers were screaming at each other and tearing each other to shreds (a trap I almost fell into myself! anti and pro are the biggest bullshit ever and I'm lucky enough to have reached a point where I can say: I don't give a shit lol). Callout posts, vague tweeting and aggression instead of simply blocking and moving on. Harassment that I myself experienced: I blocked a few people because I found them strange and unpleasant. They posted explicit things that I did not want to see on my timeline. This triggered a wave of harassment that was simply disgusting. These are people who hate their own lives so much that they can't do anything but feel miserable and stalk strangers online. Admittedly, this made me paranoid: a group of people had chosen me as a target. They passed around screenshots of many of my tweets and made fun of me, copying and stealing my art 1:1. They lied and cheated to make me look like an asshole – and this went on for years. It made me paranoid and was the first step away from fandoms, as it escalated more and more.

So, I was successfully bullied out of the fandom and my hyperfixation was over. It left a terrible void that I am still trying to fill today. Neurodivergence sucks, I'll tell you.

That's when I honestly asked myself for the first time: What the fuck am I doing here? When did I become a content machine for strangers on the internet? Why the hell do I feel so bad when I don't draw for a day? And why do I care what strangers think about me?!

Then I realized that I can't draw anymore.

Without references or the 3D models from Clip Studio Paint, I'm lost. When I try to draw something without any help, I sit in front of an empty canvas. My hands don't do what they're supposed to do and my brain blocks the thought of how drawing even works. My eyes only see the mistakes I make. Everything I draw looks bad to me.

I realized I have a problem.

So I try again and learn it all again from scratch: Anatomy, perspective, color theory, everything. But every time I sit down and try to put something on paper, there's nothing there. I've been drawing things every day for the last four years. Now my hyperfixation on this character and this manga is over and there's nothing left. I've been burning the candle at both ends and I've broken something in the process. Art is no longer something I enjoy. I need art to live and breathe, no doubt, but… the barrel now has a bottom again and it's empty to the last drop.

The little motivation I can muster goes into my webcomic, which is my everything. It's just mine, not a fandom. I feel honored that so many people read this comic. At the same time, I'm afraid that it's not enough; in my eyes, my art doesn't look good. Being surrounded by perfect illustrations on social media all day long distorts one's own perception of art, like the beauty industry that gives you body dysmorphia. On top of that, I haven't had any financial success with my comics in recent years, none at all. The dream of being an independent comic artist has receded so far into the distance that I can no longer see it. Bummer.

The constant stream of content that I gave during my fandom days has set me back incredibly. I can no longer enjoy the process of art, but my brain constantly pushes me to finish it, to have a finished product - because then I can post the drawing and get the virtual handshake that my weird brain likes so much.

Social media detox, of course, is the first thing that comes to mind. It's actually bullshit that we're all so addicted to these apps, but here we are. It's uncomfortable for me to admit, but I have hardly any friends in real life. I'm very introverted and many people find my autism very unpleasant (I can't blame them, I often come across as rude), so I only have 1-2 friends. I would like to have more friends, but maintaining social contact is terribly exhausting. It's hard enough to reply to my mutuals in the DMs (sorryyyyy if I forget sometimes………).

And what if I just take a break for a while and don't draw so much? Recharge my batteries? Right now I'm taking a 6-week break, partly because my jaw surgery is coming up soon. I'll be sick anyway, so why not put the webcomic on hiatus and take a break for a while? I don't know if it will work out, but I have a hunch that it won't, because I always have the fast-paced internet in the back of my mind. How can I be a freelancer if I don't do fanart? How can I make money with it to help my partner, who is currently financing our lives, financially? How can I, as a disabled person, find a job that I can do and at the same time build my career as an artist? As an independent comic artist, I have to do the job of so many people (artist, author, manager, taxes, work organization), how am I supposed to do that?

I have no answers to these questions. Original works don't go nearly as well as fanart! So you have to work ten times as hard and play by the vague rules of the algorithms, which is exhausting enough. Nowadays, you can only be lucky and ride the viral wave if it falls into your lap.

But reflecting on my time in a huge fandom has made me realize that I was going down a very wrong path and am now experiencing the consequences. I'm completely burnt out and no longer know why I'm even making art anymore. I don't know if I want to make art much longer. (I think shit-life-syndrome plays a big role here, but not exclusively.)

As I said, I don't have any answers - but I would at least like to warn those who are having difficulties with distancing themselves from the internet and are quickly losing themselves in this maelstrom of social media.

I have since deleted Twitter from my smartphone and, fortunately, have hardly ever used TikTok (dodged a bullet there!). I try to get back into traditional art and get away from my computer. I am all the more grateful to the people, my community, so to speak, who do nonsense with me on tumblr. They read my comics and are extremely nice to me, which I really appreciate. Thank you!

I don't know yet if and how it will continue, but I would like to finish Berserkir in the next few years. I'd love to find a way to finish all the short comics I want to make, even though it's just me and not a whole team. Maybe I'll find a way, maybe I don't. Anyways, thanks for sticking around!

[42bakery]

sorry but wouldn't it be kinda stupid of jorge to use that flag? i mean if the majority of spain recognizes that flag as far right symbol it feels really weird that nobody on his team told him to change flag and use a regular spain one considering that motogp respects the different regions and uses the rights flags for their gps and also considering how the riders try to/have to appear apolitical

like it doesn't make sense for him to choose such a divisive and controversial symbol on tv, especially when he's trying to get picked by ducati, he doesn't need a scandal. could it be that he just doesn't know the meaning or is that impossible?

Hey Isabella 👋👋👋👋👋

The flag and the bull is a bit more complicated than see it and automatically far/extreme right. That bull as @babynflames ( https://www.tumblr.com/babynflames/750298627086417920/the-osborne-bull-first-appeared-next-to-spanish ) pointed out was used to represent Spain as a whole during the dictatorship. Some people, specially in the centre of Spain (mostly both Castilles and Madrid) see it just a Spanish symbol, where as I from the periphery and a region with strong nationalism feelings see it as another imposition.

That flag will mostly be displayed by the right and extreme right, but not all the people with it will be from that party. As I said to the anon before symbols that are so wide associated with Spain are not always seen okay in Catalonia, and therefore, Jorge who is from Madrid can see them a bit differently. Also Madrid has marketed themselves as the perfect spot for holidays for people from outside Spain, but in reality the right is winning.

That flag is the same one his parents have had since before Jorge was born and given to him as a present, a memento, for his first win so no one from his family will say anything. And anon pointed that his new friends and group is from that ideology, hence why they aren't going to discourage it. About the team? How can people from outside of Spain say anything when they don't know the meaning of it? True that he has Fonsi Nieto, but he's a white privilege man from Madrid living from his uncle's (not even his dad! He's actually the son of Ángel's sister) fame.

There also the fact that due to the political differences between the centre of Spain and the periphery of it, some people will actually be happy that they have someone carrying their same values as oposite as Aleix who is vocal about having his own Catalan identity. Jorge doesn't need to make himself marketable for the Catalan public, we already have Rins, The Márquez, the Espargarós, and Maverick. Jorge is catering himself for the Madrid (and centre of Spain) public, so yeah so will be extremely happy to see that flag.

Riders being apoliticals is actually a joke. I remember that a few years back the backlash Aleix and Pol got due to Aleix words (as always) because media interpreted Aleix was pro Catalan independence, when in reality he only said he was pro-choice. Rider are afraid to open their mouth some times, but they are actually allowed to say and do whatever they want. I don't know why DORNA and Carmelo allows that flag, unless they are actually okay with it.

Ducati already chose him using that flag. I started to watch MotoGP in 2020 and I remember him in parc Fermé in Moto2 with the flag and later that same year he was announce. Ducati can't care less. They will sweep it under the rug, but if people in the internet didn't know until I mentioned it yesterday, do you think Ducati have the time to check it?

The photo above is Jorge after winning his Moto3 championship and he's already displaying the flag with the bull's siluete.

It's true that is stupid of his part and he might not really know the meaning, but given that he has been liking VOX post and how how many of this flags are popping in their events is easy to put 2 and 2 together. At this point he is just refusing to learn the meaning of the flag or chooses to ignore it.

Sorry I feel like I went out of the tangent and I'm just dumping political stuff into your laps

[otomiyaa]

PSA: Back up your blog, check your tumblr e-mail for copyright strikes

Hi everyone, after suddenly losing my account with main blog + sideblogs last week, I would like to share the following warning with y'all. Not to scare you even though it is shitty, but to raise awareness. If this somehow results in me getting kicked off the platform again, so be it lol.

If you post anything fandom* related on your tumblr blog**, whether that's gifs, screenshots, videos, cosplay pics or even fics (?), you may risk getting a copyright strike (up to 3 in 18 months) or even immediate account termination. The chance is still rather small, but just know that it can happen.

*I say fandom in the broad term, so blogs that post about movies and series, anime/manga, games, celebrities, models, sports/olympics, etc. and it goes for gif and fic creators too. Not just accounts that post music or videos for example.

**I say tumblr blog, but this goes for all of the internet ofc. People have been getting this problem on any platform, from insta to etsy, youtube and twitter.

Disclaimer: I am no legal expert, just an unlucky blogger who lost her silly multifandom fic blog after 7+ years.

This will be a bit long and detailed so I proceed under the cut!

What can you do?

...To make sure you don't suddenly lose days, months, and years of content:

CHECK THE EMAIL LINKED TO YOUR TUMBLR. I know a lot of people don't do it, myself included. Tumblr does send warnings (though not always). It wouldn't have changed anything for me because I wouldn't want to appeal - since I don't want to go into this "fair use" discussion for just a fic & editing blog. I personally don't know the chances of retrieving your blog if you protest against the claims, so can't say much about that.

Back up your Tumblr blog if you can. Also save your Tumblr chats with people dear to you if you can. Account termination seems to work differently than deactivation. I was still able to see chats with people who deactivated long ago. But my blog that got terminated has vanished from everyone's DMs and ask boxes à la Thanos snap. I mourn my years of Tumblr chat with my best friend. It was not as if we even considered exporting/copying it just for the memories of the start of our friendship. But now that it's entirely gone, hehe, well. It is sad.

Save URLs and masterposts outside Tumblr. After losing your account, for I thiiink about 24-48hrs (I didn't clock, but it was temporary) you will be able to access it at least temporarily through cachedpages, if you have the URL. It doesn't seem to work for everything, but most of my Tumblr posts I could still see shortly through this site, even after I got wiped off the platform. I did this by googling my tumblr username + certain keywords, and the posts would pop up and give me the URL.

...To prevent getting copyright strikes and losing your account?

Probably nothing - but like I said, I'm not the expert, just the fool who lost her account. The termination e-mail will give you a numbered URL so it's not easy to see which post resulted in the account loss, but for me the keywords were:

-

-

Despite the 7+ years of posts, many followers and a lot of memories, I did not gain anything else from this blog and didn't think it was worth the (legal-) risks and effort to try and get it back. It would require filing an objection against the copyright claims with personal info from home address to name, and consenting to USA legal law stuff.

Even if I don't know the exact details, I'm sure they're not wrong, because whether it's fair or not, most fandom stuff has copyright issues in the end, so I can't protest against the claims with 100% certainty it won't get me in real trouble. Besides, I read about similar cases, lost cases, and admitted defeat right away.

They work with manual reports and most dangerously, bots, who seem to be randomly picking unlucky people to take down their posts and possibly the entire account.

So besides putting an entire halt to fic writing, gif making, video editing and other fandom indulgement, or the inconvenient act of censoring every single word and image, I don't think there is a way to entirely prevent getting targeted.

The one that treated me to the strikes leading to account termination was a certain Mr. Green who seems to have targeted mostly people on Etsy. But apparently now also on Tumblr. More about this I can share here for further information. I also share some other links that can inform you about how far the copyright problem can go. Again, no reason to panic. It's rare and I was unlucky. But it happens.

About Mr. Green, using bots all over the internet to take down fandom related material:

Tumblr post about his attack on fandom.

Long detailed doc from an Etsy user.

Insta post about also loss of Etsy account.

Also Etsy related, but same Mr. Green and his bots taking down something only because it used the NAME of an anime character.

Tweet about him and his company not being officially contracted but getting compensated.

About copyright claims on Tumblr - they are still rare, no panic, I just call it russian roulette and these are all unlucky people like me :')

Post by user @/marilynjeansiims about claims against users who post about Sims, including a petition against it.

Post by user @/happyheidi about Moomin posts facing issues.

Post by user @/hanyusan about olympic related claims.

Example by user @/koov about what a vague copyright warning looks like.

Good news, post by user @/yunghos about getting their account back after filing a counter notice. It seems to be possible.

Post by user @/iamkatehardy about getting a strike for using a gif.

Post by user @/stxrshxpxd about getting their acc terminated for no 100% clear reasons.

Post by user @/tekweela about getting terminated mercilessly because of a reblog.

Post by user @/fromanotherroom-revived about losing their account with similar advice as I write here.

Post by user @/ladyphasma about gifs and US law

Knowing this won't bring lost accounts back, or change the law, I do hope at least you can be better prepared just in case it happens... Better prepared than I was at least.

[hateaintwinning]

Unwelcome-ozian is an abuser

Here is a check list of common abuse tactics and Unwelcome ozian's perfect score. Reminder as of writing this the victim is a teenage girl, and was 15 when she began chatting with nwo.

Emotional abuse:

Silent treatment - refusal to communicate.

Gas lighting - playing victim after coercing a teenage girl to tell him more and then ghosting her. He implied he didn't want anything to do with her publicly after privately pushing her to talk to him .

Blame shifting / victim blaming - calling the girl obsessed after he manipulated her and trauma bonded her to them by love bombing and alternating between validating and ignoring her. Ignoring her for weeks and months after asking for updates, and then talking to them for 3 days, promising to read everything, then back to ignoring them despite her pleas to be acknowledged. Then using this trauma to further gas light and harm her by painting her as the aggressor.

Intentionally humiliating a teenage girl - putting her on blast, along with her deep personal traumas and thoughts, intimate details, and identifying information to his follows and the entire internet.

Manipulation:

Calculating - not responding to use the victim's emotional upset against her instead of asking her to stop. Using his followers to dox and humiliate her.

Hypocrisy - wanting others to respect his boundaries while violating other people's boundaries. Wanting others to compasionately consider his condition and mental emotional state while ignoring that of others, or better yet using it to insult and dismiss them.

Excuses - using sympathy for his trauma to avoid responsibility. Avoiding criticism (and growth) by acting as though anyone who takes issues with his behavior are trying to silence him, which is a disgrace to all that is being silenced, and further hypocrisy because he is the one who dismisses and silences so many other survivors.

Threats - saying he will post the (dox) stalkers papers again to another website multiple times after staff removed the content for violating community guidelines. Possibly suggesting he may sue the victim.

Stalking / hoovering - admitting to monitoring the victim's accounts, and saving their posts.

Validation/ supply - the people he is the warmest to are teenage girls who validate and adore him. I say this after speaking to many users. He gets a supply of validation and attention online and likely uses this justify himself and or soothe his extremely low self worth.

Lack of empthy - Cruelty and vengeance in his response. Not caring about the trauma he may have been inflicting or the long term damage to his young victim. Score keeping by looking for payback with a malicious attack on his victims reputation.

Lack of remorse - no accountability or acknowledgement of the pain and damages he inflicts. Instead of changing or growing for the better, this is a pattern continuing to develop and escalate.

Grooming:

Inappropriate boundaries - setting no boundaries on what the teenage girl can say or talk about with him one on one. This intimacy was wildly inappropriate.

Breaking boundaries - pushing her to continue when she wanted to stop.

Inappropriate displays of sexuality - responding to her and encouraging her after she calls him "Daddy", says "I love you", and "another part of me think you could never resist reading what I send you" directly after talking about experiencing sexual feelings. He replied saying he will not reject her

I don't like the pop psychology demonization of NPD, but Unwelcome-ozian himself explained there is a category of abuse specifically classified as 'narcissistic abuse', and this fits his behavior the best. Pedophilic narcissistic abuse.

[tearwolfe]

I'll borrow a warrior cats book from the library and see how it is before buying a book.. shivers in fear, i did not know that..

yeah for sure do not buy them. there's also a bunch of free PDFs online you can read!! or check them out through libby or whatever online library service your local library uses if you don't mind reading from your phone.

gonna use this chance to highlight issues with warriors under the cut!! because i've spent so much time being with this series i have a lot of thoughts. i want to let you know i am not trying to cancel warriors or anything, there's just a lot of issues and i like talking about it.

CW: misogyny, pedophilia, ablism, racism

Okay, we're going to start with the more annoying aspects. First of all, Warriors is written by a ton of different people. They have the main writers outline the plot, and there's a bunch of other people that fill in all the empty space. Kind of an interesting way to do it, but that's why Warriors is able to publish several books a year. Erin Hunter is just a penname for a group.

INCONSISTENCIES

Why do I bring this up, what's the issue? The inconsistencies, dude. There's so many. Character appearances change between books. Dovewing's eye color changes frequently, for example, to the point where there was an internet war about how she would be represented on the Warriors Wiki. Another example is Mapleshade, a cat that's been prevalent as a villain since Crookedstar's Promise. In that book, she's referred to as a ginger-and-white she-cat, but after that she's been described as a calico (er, tortishelle-and-white, because Erin Hunter is somehow allergic to the word calico). Appearances aren't the only inconsistency. Character personalities are a big issue. After the first arc especially, characters will lose what charm they had in their personalities. Suddenly Spottedleaf is in love with Fireheart/star after she dies, suddenly Yellowfang is unwelcoming towards cats who find themselves breaking the Warrior Code (despite being a codebreaker herself and having compassion toward other cats while she was alive). The authors also seem to have trouble keeping track of characters. On one page Sandstorm leaves camp to go on patrol, and a paragraph later she is seen STILL in camp, talking to someone, despite having been written to leave camp. It's a very bizarre series to read. (Other inconsistencies include miswriting names [Ravepaw incident], using the wrong pronouns, and entirely confusing cats between each other). Heavystep also died a few times because the Erins forgot that he died.

MISOGYNY

Outside of poor writing, we're hit with misogyny. Main female characters, in POV, are written at least a little bit better than any of the other she-cats. However, as soon as the next arc starts and she's put out of the limelight, the authors have to give her a mate, give her kits, and make her a mother. There is only ONE POV she-cat I can think of that didn't die and never had kits. Twigbranch is literally the only one. This isn't a dig at being a mother at all, however whenever the Erins DO make a former main character a mother, that's the only trait they give them. Rarely do these she-cats continue to carry the personalities they were given initially.

It's not even a secret that the fandom dislikes when every she-cat is boiled down to being just a babymaker. The Erins literally killed off a she-cat because the fans didn't like the fact that her only personality trait was mom. Yes, this actually did happen.

There's lots of victim-blaming misogyny with whatever is going on between Squirrelflight and Bramblestar and between Leafpool and StarClan. Bramblestar will literally say the worst things to Squirrelflight and the narrative makes it seem like he's in the right. It's not wrong to display unhealthy relationships in media, but if you're writing a KID'S SERIES, it's extremely irresponsible to constantly write the victim as being wrong. This applies to how StarClan blames Leafpool for everything that's happened to her, despite the fact that Crowfeather was also a part of the equation.

Don't even get me started about Spottedleaf's Heart. In summary, Spottedleaf was groomed by Thisteclaw from when she was a kit (and he was a Warrior), and the narrative only makes Thistleclaw a bad guy because he was training in the Dark Forest, not because he is a predator.

ABLEISM

It's absolutely crazy how ableist this series is. In arc one, we have Brightpaw, an apprentice who gets mauled by dogs, and as Bluestar watched, as what she thought was going to be her death bed, she decided to give her her warrior name- a name that she would be stuck with in StarClan. She chose "Lostface." Brightpaw would eventually recover, loosing one of her eyes in the attack, and would live with being called Lostface until Firestar was able to rename her (to Brightheart). The whole renaming thing feels gross enough, but Brightheart is probably the best case scenario of ableism in Warriors, as she was allowed to function as a regular Warrior in the clan. Cinderpelt wasn't so lucky. She was a Warrior apprentice who got hit by a car, mangling her leg. She was then forced to become a Medicine Cat because she "couldn't hunt or fight" (despite the fact that real world cats are able to function completely normally while missing a limb). Longtail lost his vision in a fight with rabbits and he was retired early to the elder's den, despite wanting to be a Warrior. Jayfeather was blind, so he was made a Medicine Cat despite wanting to be a Warrior. Briarlight was paralyzed, so she was put in the Medicine Cat den most of the time despite wanting to be a Warrior. This is a very common theme in the series. Any cat who isn't fully able-bodied is often made to be a Medicine Cat or an Elder, even if that's not what they want. Literally every single Medicine Cat in ThunderClan since Spottedleaf through to Alderheart never wanted to be a Medicine Cat.

Being a Medicine Cat isn't supposed to be a bad role, but the way Warriors uses it as a cop-out to make disabled cats have a more "plot interesting" role without allowing them to be a Warrior is really weird.

ANTI-INDIGENOUS WRITING

I'm not the most knowledgeable person on this topic, however, many Indigenous readers have brought up a lot of issues the series has in terms of being culturally insensitive to native tribes. There's a well-written document that explains this in full detail.

IT'S KIND OF JUST BAD?

The writing isn't good. This goes back to the multi-writer issue. These people can't keep track of their characters or plot, so a lot of things just sort of fall flat. The best plotlines can be found in some of the novellas and graphic novels, and then I think it's because they're mostly written by one person.

How come StarClan can be so vague to living cats, but when we get POV in StarClan, they just act like normal cats? How come Ashfur randomly was super powerful in the Dark Forest/StarClan, while every other cat wasn't? There's just a lot of unexplained stuff, it's very weird.

Warriors is a very interesting series because it's pretty bad yet the fandom is huge. I definitely recommend watching Warriors Multi-Animator-Projects, reading fancomics, and fix-it fanfics instead of actually reading the books. The fans are so, so talented, it's crazy how a never-ending series of children's cat books has created such an insane fanbase.

[cynicalraccoon]

Knockout: Terry, look at this hot mama I found today. 🔥😩 

Soap: Whoa! Is that a Great White?!

Soap: Is that real?!

Gaz: Knockout, you having fun without us?

Ghost: Terry? 

Price: That better just be a really clear video on the internet, Knockout. 

Malia checked her phone for Terry's response, only to wince when she saw that she sent the text to the wrong group chat. 

Knockout: Sorry. Sent that to the wrong number.

She deleated the text and video. Then set it to Terry. A moment later, her lips twitched when she heard her phone buzz one after the other. 

Terry: First, Why are you that close?! 

Terry: Second, she's gorgeous! Much better than the monster spider you showed yesterday. 

Rowen: I question your tastes sometimes, Mal. 

Rowen: But she is pretty when viewed from behind a screen. 

Fey: Isn't that what all men say when watching porn?

Rowen: Women say it too when reading about or watching fictional toxic men. 

Terry: Only when they're sexy.

Fey: Amen to fictional sexy men. 

Alan: What's going on? 

Alan: I saw porn and then a prayer to fictional men.

Fey: We're making a cult.

Rowen: No! Don't include me in your fetishes!

Alan: A normal day, huh? 

Malia chuckled at her chaotic friend group, flopping on the bed in her hotel room. She was on leave for a week. It was a small treat to get away from the stress of the military for a bit. Of course, the stress would never go away until she either died or retired. 

Malia: Just showing them a video of a shark i swam with today.

Alan: Aquatic female fatale over here. 

Alan: Safe? 

Malia: Me or the shark?

Malia: Aren't I always?

Alan: Both. 

Terry: Mom and Dad are flirting again~ 

Rowen: 🤢

Fey: *sigh* young love

Malia: 🖕

Malia: fuck off.

The week went by in what semeed like the blink of an eye, and the day for Malia to return to base arrived; to her diasppointment. At least she had some photos to remember the trip. 

Digging the photos out of her duffel bag, Malia hung them up on the wall to join the already quite sizable collection of photos. 

They varied in subjects; animals, locations she had been deployed in, and even photos of a few locals.

When she was settled, the brunette changed into her uniform. She felt the persona of Knockout settle over her like one of the combat gloves she wore on duty. Well, it was an overstatment to call it a persona. More like a mask. A necessary precaution to seperate herself from caring about her teammates more than what was strictly professional. 

Malia shook her head and left, striding to the mess hall. It should be around breakfast now, so 141 should be there. If not, it didn't matter. 

As usual, the mess hall was loud when she entered. 

"Knockout!" She heard Soap's accented voice to her over the chatter. Looking over, she spied him at the table with Ghost, Price, and Gaz. The Scot was beckoning her over with a mischevious smirk on his face. 

She would admit, they were handsome and their personalities weren't too bad. Ghost's voice was a bonus too. But just because of those two and a half things, that didn't mean she would risk her career to spread her legs. She was neither one of those fanfic girls from the stories Terry had happily read to her nor was she a barrack's bunny. 

She worked hard to gain her reptuation on and off the field and have people take her seriously. And it had payed off. Besides, the chaotic and bloody enviornment that inspired trauma, corruption, power trips, betrayal, and assholish behavior wasn't conductive for anything other than a work relationship.

Malia blinked when Soap called her name again. She gave him a curt nod and got her food before walking over to the four. 

"There's that infamous scowl." Soap said, sitting down. "Was beginning to miss it." Malia echoed his action, shooting him said scowl. 

"You have Ghost." She said simply. 

Soap chuckled. "Not the same. I can't see his." 

Ghost, sitting across from Malia, rolled his eyes. With his face hidden behind the mask, the action spoke clearly of his unamusement. Deep brown eyes-just a few shades darker than hers-slid to the woman. 

"Have fun with your sharks?" He asked gruffly. "Or, your "hot mommas"?" 

Malia almost choked on her eggs when she heard his words. Price raised a brow, one side of his mustach slightly raised, while Gaze and Soap snickered like two children. 

She glared at Ghost, noting the faint amusement flashing through his eyes. Damn him. 

"Never say that again." Malia huffed, setting down her apple juice. Even with his voice, hearing him say "hot mommas" was weird. "And I did. Was relaxing. Moving to other topics now." 

"But I want to hear more about your trip." Soap prodded. "Where did you go?" 

"Who's Terry?" Gaz added, wearing a cheeky expression. "Boyfriend?" 

Nope. "Personal." She replied, a bit of bite in her tone. But they were not deterred. They had seven years to get used to her rough personality. Hell, aside from Price and a few others, they didn't even know her real name.

Soap groaned, almost leaning on Ghost. "Come on, Knockout. We barely know anything about you since you came on the team. At least give us this." 

"I'll tell you mine when Ghost tells his." 

Gaz smirked when the Scot frowned. They all knew Ghost was tightlipped about his personal life and past. It was like trying to pull teeth from a bear. 

Price shook his head with a soft chuckle. "There will be a day where you won't have Ghost to hide behind anymore, Knockout." 

Her scowl turned into a smug smirk, saluting him with her cup. "When Hell freezes over completly, Captain." 

A/N: I haven't played Call Of Duty. I only know bits and pieces of information about the characters. Why I decided to write this? Well, I wanted to test an idea I had to branch out of my comfort zone a bit and see if one of my ocs would fit in cod. I got inspired by the many fanfics on here and other platforms that I've read and liked.