#hydra bucky

[comfort-person]

Forever and always

Synopsis: a nightmare triggers Bucky’s past and the reader has to somehow calm him down from attacking her.

The room was dark, Bucky’s hands were tied down by metal cuffs his whole body restrained as a man stood in front of him “soldier. It didn’t have to be like this.” The man spoke, he wore a long white lab coat. He was a man Bucky didn’t recognise one bit and that was unusual for him, Bucky could remember everyone. “You brought this upon yourself. Okay, bring her in.” As the man moved to the side Bucky watched as you were dragged in- hair a complete mess but that was no comparison to how much fear was in your eyes. He let out a shaky breath his fingers clenching as he grasped at anything he could. He wanted to say something tell them to stop and not to lay a finger on you but the mouth guard in his mouth refrained him from speaking up. “As soon as I say the words in order you will obey me, you will kill her.” The man spoke eyes cold as he stared at Bucky. He shook his head rapidly trying to stop him from speaking trying to get you the hell out of there:

“Longing,”

“Rusted”

“Furnace”

“Daybreak” Bucky’s breathing was uneven his eyes widening his jaw clenched tightly as grunts of pain and resistance left his lips. These assholes had no mercy did they? “Stop it you’re hurting him!” Your voice echoed around the room being the only thing he could truly grasp onto as the last thing to stop him from turning into the monster within “seventeen, benign, nine, homecoming, one…” an agonised cry fell from Bucky’s mouth his eyes full of rage as he struggled in his restraints as he began falling into this character these… monsters… had created. The puppet they had moulded into a good listener. An obedient cruel heartless monster. “Freight car” and as he spoke that was the last thing the winter soldier needed to hear, Bucky escaping from his restraints as he stood up his stature strong and confident as he looked at you as if you were a piece of meat and he was a predator awaiting to pounce “Bucky…” you whispered fearfully. “Kill her.” The man demanded and you watched in silent horror as Bucky charged at you in an inhumanly speed…

“Bucky!”

Bucky gasped awake sitting up sweat covering his entire body, little droplets of sweat trailing down his forehead as he panted hands resting on the material of the bed as he struggled to comprehend what was going on, “Bucky hey… hey…” your arms immediately wrapped around him but he pushed you away with a force he didn’t even realise as you tumbled off of the edge of the bed but managed to get your balance, “no no… n-no… I can’t. Don’t touch me… I don’t want to kill you.” He shook his head not even looking at you fearing that if he did he would kill you. Your heart sank as you gazed at him worriedly “you won’t b-“ “YES I will… he will… I..” he couldn’t even finish his sentence visibly out of breath as he closed his eyes tight trying to open his lungs more, his dog tags skimmed against his skin slightly clattering against each other with every breath he took his metal hand clenching over and over again as he tried to calm down. “Did you have a nightmare again?” You asked cautiously but he didn’t reply to you and you carefully moved to his side as you slowly reached out attempting to rest a comforting hand on his shoulder, you had often dealt with Bucky when he was like this but not to this extent. This was something Steve was more able to handle.

As your hand rested upon his shoulder he flinched and in one quick movement his large metal hand clasped around your wrist keeping a tight grip on it as he looked into your eyes, you could see the fear and torment. The grip was so tight that it hurt but you remained calm “Buck… it’s me.” You rubbed your free hand up and down his back slowly and gently not saying anything for a while, he clearly didn’t know what was going on and he wasn’t going to hurt you.. he was just trying to get a hold of himself. Realise that he indeed was still in control. “It’s me… y/n… it’s me… look at me.” You spoke softly and as he stared at you realisation soon clicked as he realised he had full control over himself a shaky breath leaving his lips as the grip on you loosened before he sat up bowing his head his hands resting against his head as he tried to calm his breathing down his body trembling and you carefully moved your hand to rest on his back as you began soothing against his skin, neither of you had to say a word to realise how much he was going through right now. He just needed you and you’d be right there for him. His body soon weakened against yours as he leaned into you allowing your touch to sooth him completely your lips soon pressing soothing kisses against his forehead, your fingertips smoothing some of his hair off of his forehead as you gazed into his eyes

“It’s okay Bucky… I promise you.” You assured with a comforting smile and he nodded, the tears in his eyes were visible but he tried his hardest to be strong. You both stayed silent as you simply held him, helping him calm down slowly but surely his breathing soon calming down as his eyes fluttered shut a soft shaky breath leaving his lips before he rolled onto his side his arms snaking around your waist as he pulled you close “don’t wanna hurt you.” He whispered against your skin and you lightly shook your head, fingers threading through his hair “you won’t. I promise.” You said softly, noticing the frown on his face “how do you know that I won’t hurt you?” He asked softly concern evident in his voice and you exhaled softly “because I know you wont.” You simply said and he nodded his head, he was plagued with nightmares and memories of killing all those innocent people… he couldn’t catch a break… they haunted his dreams… the screams they let out. Gods was it traumatising. His blue eyes began to darken the more he thought about it and you knew what that meant, you had spent long enough with him to realise that it meant bad and so you gently rubbed your thumb against his cheek leaning in so you could press a kiss to his lips the kiss immediately snapping him out of it “don’t think bad thoughts…” “but I hurt them y/n.” He whispered and you shook your head “he hurt them. You didn’t do anything. Yes your body was there but your mind wasn’t. You aren’t to blame…. Don’t get into that mindset… I love you… you’re my world… I trust you with my life and soul…. I trust you Bucky.” You said softly watching as he seemingly calmed down completely as he cuddled into your embrace his arms remaining tight around you “they’re just nightmares now I promise… not real life. Okay?” And slowly he nodded burying his face into the crook of your neck and you smiled holding him close to your body “I love you.” He said softly and you tightened your arms around him “I love you too, Buck… forever and always.” Feeling him nod as he settled into your embrace,

“Mm… forever and always.”

[longlivedelusion]

Hi help, I saw this fic that looked interesting that had the tag bucky x black widow!reader, and I only got to read the description before my phone reloaded on accident Dx

So basically Bucky trained the reader while at HYDRA and they started seeing each other but got caught and so we're separated? And then after Bucky settled into the Avengers, they announced a new team member which happened to be, you guessed it, the reader.

That's as far as I got, but any help?? I don't remember anything else

[mohish-ko]

★ no, not again ★

[rageflippedtables]

Just a tool to be used...

[buckys-baby-boy]

Bucky textposts pt 9

[annafacose]

A dog needs to know its place 🦴

Uncropped version here 🖤

[amarriageoftrueminds]

View on Twitter

Since it came up recently, link to that therapist on twitter 👆 who was discussing Bucky's terribile therapist in TFATWS and how they should’ve been. 

Transcript:

"As a therapist myself I've had a lot of feelings about Bucky's therapist on TFatWS, and have decided I need to rant a little to let it all out. I've worked w/active duty, trauma survivors, and court ordered clients, so here's some therapeutic conjecture on Bucky's therapy:

Aesthetically her office and presentation don't fit for someone who has been through the trauma that he’s been through. A client like this would need something non-threatening and safe- the whole vibe is overly formal and official in an office building, not at all therapeutic.

6 months working together she calls him Mr. Barnes and then James-he has identity issues and is struggling with who he is, so I think that one of the 1st things they would have done is figure out what he is comfortable being called, by whom and what that means for him.

He is still full out lying to her about pretty much everything including PTSD sx—I’m not saying clients never lie if they have good therapists, but if after 6 months he still doesn’t feel like he can be truthful at all then they haven’t built any trust/ solid therapeutic rapport

The pen and notebook thing-that’s clearly a trigger for him, there’s no reason to antagonize him and take notes in session like a punishment, it’s a power play on her part and it only emphasizes his lack of control in being forced into therapy (she should know his hx w/notebooks)

The whole little arm motion she made when she said “they need to make sure you don’t…” – that made so much light of what has happened to him, he probably feels like his arm is only good as a weapon and things like that will not help him accept it as part of his body

The rules, UGH the rules—from how they were talking about them clearly not something he actively created for himself, more like directives that he’s been ordered to adhere to—something fed to him and reinforced, feels like a way to sign off on liability only

THE AMENDS—this is probably my biggest issue. Amends are for people who need to take accountability for their actions and the repercussions of those choices. He had NO choice. He was a victim of horrific crimes against him, and framing it in a way that he needs to make up for

the crimes that others used him for is abhorrent. The lack of trauma informed care as astounding in the way it is being framed that he has to atone for sins that weren’t his. Its clearly reinforcing the idea in his head in ep 2 when he says “HYDRA were my people".

NO, HYDRA were your captors. They were not your people. That type of thinking needs to get deconstructed and challenged. He can dedicate himself to bringing good into the world and righting wrongs that happened WITHOUT taking on the responsibility of those actions.

Her whole attitude and demeanor were condescending and demeaning. I know some people have said “I love how she calls him out on his bullshit!” That’s not what I see happening. I call my clients out on their shit all the time—this was not that.

And I can only do that with clients ONCE we’ve built the type of relationship where it’s going to be therapeutic for them to hear it, and it’s done intentionally and with purpose. She just came off shaming and mean because they don’t seem to have any form of therapeutic rapport.

She said “you have no history, no family”- there is no therapeutic reason for that, and she’s wrong. He most likely has family alive (he used current tense when talking about his sister) and he was close to Shuri and TChalla, his history is vital to understanding him

When she said “Look, I know that you have been through a lot, but you’ve got your mind back. You are being pardoned. These are good things. You’re free.”—Yeah this feels really dismissive and like toxic positivity. “I know you’ve been through a lot BUT BE HAPPY!!??”

He certainly doesn’t seem to feel like he’s free (especially having therapy mandated), and you can’t just tell someone they’re free. I felt like she was pretty much just like, “shake it off, look to the future!” which feels really shitty when you’ve experienced excessive trauma.

HELLO breach of confidentiality, just introducing herself to Sam as his therapist and confirming it to Walker and the whole police station, it doesn’t matter if they know he’s in therapy you do not break someone’s privacy like that, he still deserves some control over his tx.

Ordering Sam into a session, NO, he’s not your client and you don’t know him well enough to know if that’s appropriate or if it would be harmful to either, and you haven’t asked your client for his consent to have another person in his session

Forcing a trauma victim who was stripped of his bodily autonomy for 70 years into a physically intimate exercise with a coworker that he’s barely interacted with in the last several months? NOPE, just reinforcing to Bucky she has control over him the way his handlers used to

To me, I think she is more focused on signing off on his psychological eval that he isn't a liability rather than any actual healing or attention to his trauma. This unfortunately isn’t unusual in the military where “mental health treatment” is focused on being mission ready.

They are making sure he’s ready to be an “asset” w/ mandated therapy, which he shouldn’t even be forced to do as part of his pardon because he shouldn’t have needed a pardon at all because he was a victim of horrific war crimes, brainwashing, and dehumanization for 70 years.

I’m just saying, if that was me he would be on my big squishy couch, bright open windows, bowl of Hershey kisses, random fidget toys, and two therapy dogs laying all over him while we work through that trauma and he builds back his identity and finds the calm he wants so badly.

And yes he would probably need someone who would see through his BS, call him out when he needs it, not be overly "touchy feely", but only if he feels safe and there is trust, where he gets to work on what HE wants, not what others think he needs.

Anyway thanks for coming to my TEDTalk, I❤️my work and I think being a therapist on retainer for the Avengers would've been a fucking trip, they all needed a team of mental health professionals at their disposal 24/7 and things would've been so much better🤣

ps. They can be a good therapist and just not be a fit for the client, that happens regularly. We know when to make it part of the conversation and when to refer out. Nothing good is going to come out of a contemptuous therapeutic relationship, mandated or not.

pps. That whole situation and the scene with Zemo was so rough. I can't imagine how much it brought back the violation, humiliation, anger, and helplessness of when he was the WS. I'm just imagining him having a therapist he trusts and being able to process that afterwards 😭😭😭"

[5ummit]

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

[kiu-k]

Cut off the bad roots

[crimsonmonsoon]

In an alternate universe where Bucky got the movie he deserves. This movie would simultaneously follow him as the Winter Soldier 1946-1950s while also paralleling to present day Bucky who is fighting a social war and trying to fix his public image so that the Winter Soldier can become the hero. Except this would never work but I’m playing pretend. Reality he would rename himself to White Wolf but that character exists in the comics as Black Panthers brother and he’s another anti hero and Bucky can’t have that. Tho I’m so down for him becoming Shuri’s adopted brother.

[the-winter-soldat]

[buckrecs]

Sex Pollen

masterlist | req masterlist

Play Pretend by @wkemeup

When Bucky is injected with a substance that leaves him desperate for release, you offer your help.

In The Dust by @metalbuckaroo

at a shack after a mission, Bucky realizes the ‘dust’ that he thought wouldn’t be effective anymore needs to be brought up. You insist partners are suppose to communicate with each other.

addicted to you by @bonky-n-steeb

you find Bucky to be irresistible after you both get affected by sex pollen.

Left Gasping For Air by @bucksfucks

doused with sex pollen, you & bucky are met with a difficult decision.

Take You There by @heli0s-writes

Sam plays a game called Fuck or Die. It's like he willed it into existence as you and Bucky explore the basement of an old Hydra lair.

Chemical Reactions by @slut4buckysarm

bucky barnes joining in on your solo mission was the worst part of the night. that was until the both of you got dosed with sex pollen.

Daisies by @rebeccccccaaa

Bucky gets hit with that god awful (but really hot) sex pollen.

burning desire by @lanadelreyscokewhor3

after being sprayed with sex pollen on a mission gone wrong, bucky is the only man who can help you. the issue? you hate his guts.

A Piece of His Heart by @thefanbasewhore

Bucky has been struggling with himself for a few months now but never reaches out for help. In order to confront him, you lock him in the lab but only to find out it was on lockdown for a reason and you're now stuck to quarantine with him

only the two of us by @barnesafterglow

stuck together, you and bucky find yourselves in an unfortunate position (or maybe not)

Mean It by @gogolucky13

You and Bucky get trapped overnight in the safe house after a mission. Everything should be okay, except he's your ex and thanks to his carelessness, the situation gets a little more complicated.

Comply by @gogolucky13

With Hydra, everyone is a prisoner.

your hands have made some good mistakes : part 21 by @thenhewaswrongaboutme

The team comes home for a pre-Thanksgiving gathering. Everything is going swimmingly, until Thor breaks out the Asgardian whiskey.

Little Bit of Pollen by @simsadventures

You and Bucky are both Avengers, but that doesn’t mean you have to like each other. What happens when you two are the only one present when you breathe in a sex pollen?

Dosed by @moonstruckbucky

Sex pollen? Sex pollen.

keep your eyes on the road (aka an unexpected sex pollen adventure) by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Honestly, this is what Bucky gets for not listening to you.

for your own good by @witchywithwhiskey

bucky barnes is gifted a strange-looking plant but when you, his closest friend in avengers tower after steve rogers, touches the leaves, it lets out a strange cloud of pollen. both you and bucky soon feel the effects of the plant's pollen and, though bucky's worried about hurting you, you know he never would—and you need his help. desperately.

Petals by @biteofcherry

Bucky and reader is stuck in a cabin in the woods.

Desperate by @buckets-and-trees

Enemies? Rivals? It's always been reluctant teamwork between you and the Winter Soldier, but when put in a situation where personal feelings have to be put aside, maybe actual personal feelings are uncovered.

Thrill me, Fulfill me by @samodivaa

You agreed to help for one mission—now you are both lustful and carnal, affected by sex pollen—you are flint, he is tinder.

Imagine by @buckyalpine

[mohish-ko]

★"A This is not a drill. Containment breach detected.

Repeat: CODE RED!"★

[questionableratatouille00]

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐’𝘥 𝘋𝘰 (𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘠𝘰𝘶)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky explore ways to practice non-sexual intimacy.

Warnings: Non-sexual nudity, implied past SA, bad therapist Dr. Raynor, showering together, implied panic attack, let me know if anything else needs to be tagged.

Help! I haven’t read the first part!

“You struggle with intimacy.” Dr. Raynor’s unmistakable voice rang through his head.

He glared at her, his brows furrowed. “What?” His voice was slightly hoarse, so the word came out all croaky.

“You struggle with intimacy.” She repeated. “It’s common in victims of sexual abuse and assault. And you’ve got over fifty years of that.”

Bucky grimaced at her blunt choice of words. “So..what?”

“So, we’ve got a lot to work on. You’ve got any relationships? Friends, partners?” Dr. Raynor asked. “What about the girl you’ve mentioned?”

“I have friends.” He grumbled.

“Good. What about your relationship with your girlfriend? Are you two intimate?”

He clenched his fists. “That doesn’t sound like a professional question. Do you ask all your clients about their sex lives?”

“Just answer the question, Mr. Barnes. Are you intimate with your girlfriend?”

“No.” The word rotted in his mouth. He felt an overwhelming sense of shame as he was positive that Raynor was disappointed for some reason.

She scribbled something down in her notebook and Bucky felt like he was going to throw up.

“Try and build up trust and intimacy through non-sexual means.” She suggested.

When he raised a brow, she continued. “Cuddling together. Sleeping next to each other. Take baths or showers together. Be naked around each other. Work up to that one slowly.”

He didn’t think it would help his weird sex problems.

“Ask for what you need. The world won’t end.”

Bucky just shook his head bitterly, looking away as he clenched his metal fist tighter.

“…Hey.” You whispered as you looked at him. He felt a smile creep onto his face.

“Hey.” He echoed.

“You’re watching me while I sleep, now?” You chuckled.

“Maybe.” He gently played with a strand of your hair.

“You alright?” Your voice was warm, sleepy. He felt a warmth bloom within his chest.

“Mhm.” He answered after a moment. “Y/n?” He asked gently after your eyes fluttered back shut.

“Hm?” You didn’t open your eyes.

“Can..can we cuddle?” He asked. To his surprise, the world didn’t end.

“What?” You blinked your eyes open. He felt a pit of shame form in his stomach.

“Never mind. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” He shook his head.

“No, no. What did you say?” You smiled encouragingly.

“…I asked if we could cuddle.” He muttered. He asked for what he needed. And the world didn’t end.

“Sure, hon. You want me to hold you? Or..” You offered.

He nodded. “I want you to hold me. Please.”

You lifted your arm, and he awkwardly shuffled over towards you, not quite sure what to do. “What..where do I—“

You chuckled a little, shifting slightly to lay on your back. “Just lay your head on my chest, if you’re comfortable.”

He nodded, doing so. He could hear your heartbeat. His right hand drifted to your stomach to gently play with the fabric of your shirt.

“This all right?” You asked gently as you rubbed circles into his back.

He nodded. “Yeah. Thank you.” He said earnestly.

“Anytime. Always.”

“Hey, honey?” He asked suddenly as he dried the last plate.

“Hm?” You turned off the sink and turned to look at him.

C’mon. Don’t back at now, he told himself. “Do you..do you want to take a shower together?”

He watched as your eyebrows raised. But the world didn’t end.

“Yeah. We can do that. You sure you want to? There’s never any rush.” You assured him. He knew you meant well, but he felt like you were treating him like he was glass.

“I’m sure, honey.” He exhaled. “I’m..not glass. You don’t need to walk on eggshells around me.”

“I know, baby. I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was.”

“It’s okay. I’m—I’m not mad. I just wanted you to know that you don’t need to treat me differently.”

“Alright. No differences. Scout’s Honor.” You did the Girl Scout sign with your hand.

He chuckled, shaking his head.

“Let’s go shower.” You suggested, and he nodded as he followed you to the bathroom.

He watched as you turned on the shower, waiting for it to warm up as he grabbed two towels.

He watched as you pulled off your shirt. You were absolutely gorgeous, and he couldn’t help but stare.

You chuckled a little as you caught him, and he smirked slightly. He pulled off his own shirt, and that’s when things felt a little off. Not inherently bad, but…wrong.

He tried to push away the feeling as you stripped down to your underwear.

He fiddled with the button and zipper of his jeans. He barely noticed as his breathing began to become more intense.

“Buck?” Your voice snapped him from his thoughts.

“What?” His voice sounded strange to his own ears.

“You’re breathing all weird. You okay?”

“I..I can’t.” He shook his head, before rubbing at his eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay. No worries. Today’s not the day; no rush.”

He frowned deeply. “I’m sorry.” And he felt sorry. He felt like shit.

You reached for his hand. He let you take it.

“Don’t be sorry.” You rubbed his knuckles with your thumb.

He gave you a small, weak smile. “Okay.” He failed. It didn’t work out. He had to be at least somewhat broken.

But the world didn’t end then, either.

“I want to try again.” He told you a few weeks later.

“Try..what?” You raised a brow.

“Showering together.” He stated.

“Okay. Now?”

He nodded. “Now.”

“Okay. Let’s do it.” You agreed, and you both walked to the bathroom together.

This time, he pulled off his shirt and sweatpants with ease, standing there in his black boxers.

You pulled off all your clothes, checking the water to make sure it was warm.

Slowly, but surely, he slid his boxers down his legs and stepped out of them. He stood before you, completely naked, but he knew that you didn’t have a single thought of judgment in your mind.

“You wanna get in first?” You offered. He shook his head. Logically, he knew it didn’t really matter who got in first. But he figured that maybe a sense of being sure he was able to leave would help him if he needed it.

He watched as you stepped into the shower.

And then he did. And the world hadn’t ended.

He smiled at you as he stood so close to you. Close, but not touching. And it was perfect.

“We did it.” He grinned.

“We did.” You grinned up at him lovingly.

He���d done it. Even if it was only a step in a long process, he’d done it.

And the world didn’t end.

A/n: wanted to post this.

[stuckyfingers]

"Bucky is still alive"

2012 Steve uses the knowledge transferred to him through Loki's sceptre to infiltrate HYDRA and demolish Project Insight. He victoriously kisses Bucky in the Triskelion- over the dead body of Alexander Pierce. Skyfall by Adele is playing in the background.