#hurts my brain to think about a little
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desperatepleasures · 1 month ago
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had a dream the other day about moving my leopard gecko into the empty(ish) 45gal tank that used to house my hermit crabs and tbh thinking about the list of pros and cons to actually doing that was a huge bummer
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canisalbus · 2 months ago
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I could see Machete as one of those goats that has their horns grow into their head
Like you know some type of "can't run from the inevitable" type of analogy or something
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yellow-sword · 2 months ago
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i just want him to eat pink colored things
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raindropsyndrome · 1 year ago
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Various doodles
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Warning for some angst and a bit of gore!!
Ok continue
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jojo-schmo · 28 days ago
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The 24 Character Strengths are awesome references when writing characters!!
I've found this website to be extremely helpful and cool while fleshing out my characters' personalities and motivations.
Even if I only have basic personality traits for a character, exploring strengths that I feel fits them and reading their descriptions is fantastic for inspiration!! It really helps narrow down the basic ideals I imagine a character would believe in, and then I can get more specific from there. It's a great guide to springboard off of!
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Each strength is sorted into one of six virtues. Starting with a broad virtue, for example "justice," and honing that down into the strengths of "fairness," "leadership," or "teamwork" makes writing them really fun!
Here's an example of the "fairness" strength description! Lots of detail and tangible qualities describing it!
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Of course there are infinite ways to interpret a character strength, just like in real life. And people aren't always black and white and follow a strength 100% of the time. But it's been extremely helpful to see specific traits being described in so much detail, and imagining different scenarios that a character would react in. It's like I can understand them a bit more and think a little like them, especially if their trait isn't one of my personal strengths. :3
But I also recommend taking the actual personality test for yourself! I took it years ago and it was really cool to put a name to some of my strengths and see how detailed this descriptions were. And when my friends and I shared our results, I felt like we understood each other just a little more. :)
Just thought I'd share this reference that's been helping me lately :D
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sysig · 10 months ago
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Obviously I had to make it a thing (Patreon)
Spoilers for Handplates! Make sure you’re all caught up before continuing!
I ended up scene-picking around the timeline at pretty-much-random, whatever I thought fit the lyrics the best in the moment of blinding inspiration (lol), but now that I’ve got the basics down to paper, I think I’d more carefully choose in mostly-chronological order. That also means some would have to be cut, so I want to show them off here! :D I also drew them all from memory so if there’s inconsistencies, that’s why lol
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For example this is one of the very early lyrics, but the events take place well down the timeline! I’m sure I can find a good stand in - mostly I just wanted to draw Papyrus from this scene, ugh I love him ♥ And the lyrics do fit!
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Looking back to Sans for reassurance haha. I changed a few of the lyrics to be more Papyrus-specific -
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- also featured here! He’s got the Gaster pose going on here hehe, and cutting around in time of him in Snowdin and also back at Asgore’s, him reassuring Asgore about Sans’ HP is so cute, I had to make reference to it haha
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Happiest little sibling spinnies <3 <3 Probably the cutest panel of the whole bunch honestly haha ♥ Their little faces!! Ugh 💕
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One of those instances of the lyrical contradictions, and I think I would keep this jump forward - everything has changed! And they’re really not okay, but they have each other
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The one makes me laugh honestly, a bit dark lol. All their safe people, except for the two that take up the rear of each. I mean, technically it’s not inaccurate with Flowey’s, he won’t be alone! Unfortunately. The human, well
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Started settling into a rhythm by this point, and rather pleased for it :) Poor Papyrus! He didn’t do anything wrong and he still has all these sad feelings about it!
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All catching up to him :( You can only run from and ignore your problems for so long - this line feels so him, dealing with what their world is and all that entails, poorly
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I appreciate the fact that Papyrus has this dream several times, it fits lots of places! Gaster look what you did to him even when you don’t exist anymore
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Papyrus as an adult! Though he also is in the one with him and Sans dream-sharing. Things start breaking real bad for him, I’m still not over how good this song is lol
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I did admittedly go a little over-the-top with these, he was not crying this much but I just jsalfdjfds this scene is so- much. So much! The lyrics goaded me, blame them haha - and also the attention to his neck! Even if it’s not in reference to choking on tears specifically, still drawn to the same place! I love Sans going to comfort him as well as rally him ahhhhh
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I got his Soul glitches wrong haha, but seriously! This song, I swear!!
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A bit of irony - he’s being heard! So much! Just not listened to. I am so enamoured with his pose callbacks throughout the entire comic ugh, so beautifully done
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Handing off the song for a moment to someone who actually can rewind it - I don’t think I’ve ever drawn a Genocide Run human now that I think of it :0 It was so satisfying to draw Gaster kneeling on the ground like that haha, contact points were - on point ✨ for this doodle session hehehe
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Originally I had his glow coloured in purple but this was one that I actually went back to look at (because I love this scene so much hhgggg <3 <3 <3) and had to change to his natural colour - he deserves it!! He’s earned it!!
I’ve honestly fallen more in love with this song through him and vice versa haha ♪ It’d be quite a bit before/if I could make a full version, even just with what I’ve got here, but it was so fun to draw at all ♥
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Papyrus#Sans#Gaster#And a bunch of others but only as cameos lol#Largely unedited because there's...a lot lol#The total ended up being 45 panels over the course of about five hours I think?#This was the project that really killed my hand#Honestly I don't even think it was drawing all of them so quickly - tho that didn't help lol#I think it was going back and forth between writing down the lyrics and drawing the accompanying art#I hold my pencil slightly differently between the two and I was in such a hurry to just get it all Out that I split the difference#Which actually just ended up in it being Just Wrong Enough for both to cramp up my hand pretty spectacularly#It actually still hurts a little a couple days later and I haven't drawn anything since lol#But it was worth it! It's not just floating around inside my head anymore! Phew!#Video-ifying it is a whole other thing tho...#But y'already know about that lol#I'm still going to give it a go but I don't exactly have a lot of hope lol#More than anything I'm just glad to have these down :) They're a very raw expression of the chemical soup Handplates made in my brain haha#Comparing the inspired-bys to their originals is interesting to me :0 These being like the shadow-print reading left on my mind hehe#Some things are more intense! Some less so - mostly to do with my ability to recreate them how they ''feel'' haha#It was a lot of fun :) Got a lot of Feelings out all at once! And all it took was my right hand hurting for a few days! Pfft#It's also kinda nice to edit a bit less - especially now that my paper is playing nice! Sheesh#Everything just out all at once hehe ♪#I do love to make in the same breath that I think up a concept! It keeps me energized! Keeps me moving forward! Feels good :)#So much better than just sitting on an idea until it's ''done right'' :P#I want to make pretty things of course! But sometimes I just want to Make
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spaciebabie · 11 days ago
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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rubtsova7543 · 1 month ago
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Hello, Viktor nation!
(She wanted to draw meaningful picture and failed again... yeah..)
This picture is based on the little comic by @/samhaiiin (Twitter)
The stone is morrisonite (I want to eat it)
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(I know it looks nothing like my art but I couldn't find a way to draw these beautiful ornaments and save the art style😭)
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spotaus · 21 days ago
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Hi guys, this is usually what a doodle page ends up looking like <3 (oh, and @ancha-aus thought you might like this! Not writing but certainly fuel to my fire lol-)
This one is New Age filled!!! (Close-ups abd Lore beneath the cut!)
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1) Night and Cross!
Night is actually very clingy once he's a teen. He doesn't usually realize it, but around the castle he'll snake to be closer to his Knights so long as there's no one he needs to keep his composure infront of is nearby. Cross is the one who's not used to physical touch (when it's not Ink ofc) so Night in his personal bubble makes his heart melt but also scares tf out of him <3
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2) Error and Night's Meeting!
Error was carrying his whole life on his back and trying not to get arrested for unintentional property damage at this point, so when he saw the chance to get back at his brother and prove he was strong enough? Yeah, he got that on chance instantly. And was VERY smug when Nightmare chose him. (Also, Error is wearing gloves, so less Haphephobia)
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3) Dream and Blue designs!
I think these are good tentative designs! Dream probably has a more regal fit, but he likes to play up that rugged exile look- He's inspired by Archers, while Blue takes on that classic Knightly-vibe. Their equipment is mostly stolen from Night's troops or brought with them from Blue's home kingdom.
Also, Dream is approx Killer's height at this point, shorter than Cross and *much* shorter than Apple!Nightmare. (Hc that Skeletons tend to be tinier in stature thanks to weird monster beauty standards. Horror and Geno's fam are outliers.)
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4) Horror and Dust designs!
Horror is naturally a very *large* monster. He's very malnourished when Nightmare meets him, but by the time he's a Knight Nightmare has made sure that's no longer the case. He actually loves comfy, simple clothes, but to play up the whole 'strong mysterious' bit he wears a more barbaric Knight's garb. He doesn't mind acting scary, it's more fun that way :]. Dust is very very small, and envies horror sometimes for his size, but his tiny stature let's him control his body and move a lot quicker. He's very much based on a rogue, and usually covers the lower part of his face w/ a black cloth, and the upper part w/ his hood or mask. Dust only removes both to bathe, eat, or relax in a safe location. (Ignore that I can't draw the stupid gaster blaster lmao-)
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These last two were space-fillers, but Cross and his Borzoi (Windmill, otherwise known as Milly (Killer named her-)) and really bad first wips of Ccino! I think Ccino was a chubby, happy toddler, but lost a lot of 'weight' (bone mass? Magic?) due to stress and pressure and bad eating habits. So it isn't until a while after the Coronation that he starts to relax abd feel safe enough to eat normal meals (Nightmare used to guilt him into eating snacks together, but as his boss (and younger brother) he can encourage it more often). By the time Killer shows he's still not quite healthy, but he's better. As more weight is lifted off his shoulders, the better he is. (That 'beauty' most people saw was a more stereotypical slimness, but Killer never stopped seeing Ccino as beautiful-) I think he never looked traditionally underweight, so no one noticed, and it was only much later that Night processed it. (And maybe it's why Dream hardly recognized him later on-)
#new age au#I love showing mundane life things-#and also these designs beamed into my brain#I can't draw Ccino for anything but the others? yeag#Blue is definitely my fave. and just like every au I will draw Blue perfect the first time and draw Dust 6 billion times 😔#Horror is kinda banger too tho#makes me laugh to imagine Horror picking up Dust mid-fight out of convenience and Dust weighs nothing to him#(also this size difference is exactly why Dust and Horror fight in the non-magic training. and why Horror accidentally obliterated his#shoulder later on lmao- Dust needs to be able to dodge any enemy. Horror needs to aim for small and quick targets.)#(Meanwhile Cross is the newest and Killer the oldest and if Cross adapts to Killer then he'll adapt to the others more easily.)#oh! and Ccino w/ his arc? I think I really like the idea of a Ccino with a plump body-type. but that conflicts with my vidion of Ccino kinda#losing track of eating and being co-erced by adults to skip meals just enough to make him the 'right amount' of curvy#so when Nightmare takes over it's a habit he's so used to he hardly notices that he's doing it. but. Night picks up on it because Ccino is#almost akways with him. their relationship is very much Ccino giving his life to help Night#but it's also Night recognizing that and giving it back to Ccino along with more the moment he can#just smth smth this au is full of fit and exercized people and I think Ccino deserves some comfort and healing and positivity <3#also I am SO fond of Nightmare getting up in people's bubbles. he does it most to Killer and Ccino for obvious reasons but#god forbid a noble be talking behind his back because he *will* twist around and shove under his knight's arms or sides just to#read them the riot act or stare them down <3#and I think when he was an adult Night was... kinda like the big brother? like. not an experienced one by any means. but he wasn't *not*#affectionate then either. he was better at being serious about it and more discreet. but like#Nervous Cross escorting him in public? Night nudges his shoulder briefly with a Tendril to try and comfort him. Dust having a magic overload#? personal Training against just Night so there was no risk of harming anyone else. then snacks and tea after.#Horror is homesick? Woah look at that a scheduled trip back to visit with Crop and side-track back to Horror's village? huh?? wild...#Killer upset at all? Night will find a solution. just you wait. a cat. two cats. perhaps even a cat in a little sweater? or y'know. just a#chat or a combat?#Nightmare showed his affections but was just more distant about it.#Oh also. all four were used to tendrils lifting/tugging them subconsciously. usually during trainings to avoid them hurting eachother by#mistake in their early days. Killer misses it sometimes
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hallowclave · 7 months ago
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What a whimsical looking young man I wonder if he has received any job offers recently
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#my art#project sekai#rui kamishiro#if u saw this get posted before: no u didn’t#forgot to schedule the post for the morning incident 60 dead 600 injured.#i feel obligated 2 say I actually post abt pjsk on my main (apotelesmaa) frequently (I have brain worms)#& I only post on this blog once in a blue moon and it’s usually not serious art atp#so do not expect anything.#curtain call. what an event. love rui he’s such a good character. I hope he explodes.#he is so full of love and so bad at recognizing his emotions and problems.#‘I don’t have any emotional hang ups about anything’ says the guy who has so many emotional hang ups#rationalizing pulling back as safety measures instead of fearing abandonment/concern of hurting tsukasa (or others) again ->#rationalizing accepting asahi’s job offer because it’s the best for his future even if it’s not the best for himself#also tbh I think to some degree u could argue accepting the job offer was his way of getting ahead of being abandoned#not that it would happen and not that he’d recognize that to begin with#negative self awareness king! he is not processing his emotions at all!#would love for him to mention the job offer in a future event. even just offhandedly. shaking him by the shoulders. talk to ur friends moron#me when I’m in a not recognizing what I’m feeling and how it effects me competition and my opponent is rui kamishiro from hit game pjsk#etc etc. anyways.#once again falling into the ‘sure whatever this can go on the art blog’ category#in that I used simultaneously too much effort and very little in creating it#once again: [hope you’re hungry. for NOTHING] dot jpeg. as is typical here at hallowclave dot tumblr dot com.
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skunkes · 1 month ago
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not an ask, but I saw ur post and relate a lot to it.
anticipatory grief sucks. people will tell you not to think about it, not to let it steal from today, but some days are just so hard. sometimes it feels unavoidable, like it’s some goliath mountain in the distance or even the sky and you can’t not look at it. it’s like you have to keep trying to distract yourself not to think about it, and it’s exhausting, and you’re so fucking scared of the inevitable.
like how does anyone even function? the idea of the world continuing to spin when there’s this terrible, horrible thing that will happen some day is unfathomable but it does, and it’s horrible. Some day will mark the before and the after. nobody can ever be ready for it.
I hope the love you have keeps you strong. wishing you the best.
this is literally it. i know thinking about it Now wont make the actual day it happens any easier. but it's impossible to not think about it, especially since there's no tangible way to preserve memories or feelings or the like forever. i cry easily and get emotional over most anything and everything, which is another layer of difficulty wrt it because I spiral. I want to squeeze out of my body. im not meant for any of it
#skunk mail#Anonymous#ill be in a car with my dad fighting tears thinking about how ill miss it one day and there's no way for my brain to capture the moment and#make a simulation of it. and even then that wouldnt help. ykwim#sometimes i sit in my parents room while my parents and brother are there and i cant stop thinking about when ill see them for the last tim#and how i wish i could full really truly wring every last drop of ''appreciation'' from the moment.#i think about that time isnt linear thing. how everything that has happened or will happen exists on its own#and i think about the cheye experiencing the After tragedy. and i cant handle it. not now or then. i envy the past cheye#even the one of 5 seconds ago. because that was 5 seconds ive lost. 5 seconds closer to events that will#separate my life into Before and After. over and over again#(like you said anon. i think abt that all the time too)#i think this is also why im struggling with the thought of moving out#we all have so little time. dont even get me started on the fear and grief i feel for my own life#not only fearing dying but fearing the lead up where ive lost and cried over much. just me. alone.#ill never see them again. it will never be today again. we'll never be in my parents room like today again. i cant take it.#even if i spend every last second with everybody i still wont be able to take it. i cant believe it#human beings that were all somebody's baby once. tomorrow it will be like they were never here at all. all their memories#go with them. it hurts so bad. i cant take it#i cant even breathe rn ruminating abt it *peace sign emoji*
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trans-leek-cookie · 18 days ago
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listen I'm not gonna be a Curly apologist he did Fucked Up as captain but I genuinely recommend ppl watch a playthru that goes thru the game in chronological order. It kinda helps clear up the events and gaps between them, bc even tho u See the times, you still experience it out of order.
The stuff Anya says definitely sets off alarm bells but it doesn't seem like he Fully Understands what she means, and I'm going to be 100% honest I think she was trying to repress it herself. This isn't to say that she is AT ALL "at fault" for what happened after and she should've gotten help even if she wasn't ready to fully discuss the issue but I genuinely think she herself was still coming to terms with things, so she didn't necessarily process the full impact before talking to Curly, and a lot of what happens occurs after they're laid off- like this delves into personal interpretation but I genuinely think Anya only registered Jimmy as a serious danger after his outburst towards Curly. Ofc my interpretation is limited bc of the limited pov in game and not having gone through what she has, but it personally reads more akin to coercion over time than a singular Obviously Violent incident (like. Not to say that Sexual Assault isnt violent in nature, just that coercion often specifically works to obfuscate the fact it is a form of violence.) The layoff is a Massive catalyst for her bc of Jimmy, in that she now has a very clear understanding of his capacity for aggression.
To extrapolate a little from the "Dead Pixel" conversation, she starts by saying she Likes The Screen (even though it's fake). While Curly has his quotes about the pixel "not ruining the illusion" which. Y'know is Symbolic Of His Flaws. She doesn't say the pixel ruins it, just that she can't get it out of her mind.
If we take the pixel to represent her Or jimmy, either way the way she talks about it kind of downplays things, like it's a Minor Thing that's Slightly Upsetting, but she's still okay with the big picture. Idk I could be 100% wrong but that is my take
Besides that, Anya tells curly she's pregnant 2 days before the crash, and it isn't until she outright states it that he starts Putting The Pieces Together. I want to note, he says "I'd do anything" and "this doesn't have to go on our performance evals" 1. Before he knows shes pregnant 2. Under the assumption she might attempt suicide, and I doubt he even thought about her using the gun on anyone else before she brings that up. He says literally before the line where she tells him she's pregnant that "being laid off isnt a reason to hurt [herself]". Like I've seen ppl talk about the performance evaluation thing like it's about her and jimmy, but I think he's referring to (his belief) that she might attempt suicide or similar which might genuinely be a consistent thing he's seen her struggle with, given she's able to go through with it. Also just to note: assuming their society is like ours (hellish) reassuring her he won't blab Abt her mental health is like. Genuine reassurance- lots of mentally ill ppl will Not Open Up bc it could have long term consequences (like. For example. On employment) ANYWAYS I hope it doesn't come off like "Curly never failed Anya" but rather "Curly approached this specific situation without the context of why Anya is panicking and (possibly validly) assuming she's dealing with a very different issue"
Also let me say again the time frame is 2 days. We don't Really see what happens, but we know Anya tells Jimmy without Curly knowing. I genuinely believe he maybe didn't do a Great Job in those two days (the fact he says Anya should've talked to Him before telling Jimmy is uhhh. Mm. 1. Your job to create an environment where she comes to you my man 2. Weird to tell her what she should do with HER OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION) but like.
I get a lot of ppl want immediate consequences but consider that they can't really get rid of Jimmy (co pilot. Which is. Y'know it's Own Problems) but also like. Curly knows Jimmy, and we know that Jimmy tends to lash out. Curly should probably Not Confront Jimmy Unless He Knows Exactly How To Keep Him From Hurting Anya. Like I'm not an expert but this is something genuinely important- when confronting an abuser you NEED to take into account the impact it can have on their victim, and sometimes for the victims safety you need to wait until you have a Solid Plan. It sucks but it's important.
And theres discussion to be had about Curly kinda going along with Jimmy saying "well what if we all died" and like. I do believe he Didn't Realize What Jimmy Said. Like he was just processing/trying to keep the situation under control (and failing because he underestimated how willing Jimmy was to hurt everyone including himself).
Like he's definitely an enabler but I would say his problems are mostly before he understands the gravity of the situation, in that he's friends with Jimmy and assumes the best of a man with abusive tendencies, and fails to create an environment that can keep Anya and the others safe. Like, he definitely doesn't handle in game events perfectly (psych evaluation for one- he does do it instead of Anya which is actually helpful, but he still treats it like. Weirdly.)
Idk I have a lot of thoughts about this game and I don't necessarily want to defend Curly but more like. Anya's situation is very delicate (and light on details) so sometimes the way ppl talk Abt it feels like they aren't actually focused on what she wants and what it means to prioritize her safety y'know?
Edit bc I just now figured out kinda how I want to word it: curly is an enabler and making things worse bc he doesn't put a stop to Jimmy's BS, but in the specific scenario we see in game I think he's trying to use his Skillset of like, people pleasing not for Jimmy's sake but for the crews (like "if I nod my head and say I sympathize he won't lash out and hurt them") which like. There are situations which that is unfortunately the safest option (on an individual level yes, but sometimes it's also necessary to prevent abusers lashing out in response toward ppl who are more vulnerable) but it was the Wrong Choice.
It's like. I think Curly was trying and had good intentions, and understood that he needed to protect the crew, but he didn't have the toolset/experience to realize he can't Just go along with things and that he needs to be able to set hard limits, even for ppl he likes and trusts. Like he failed but the failure was "for want of a nail", where it began way before what we see (for want of an understanding of power dynamics I guess.) Again, don't think this makes curly more forgivable or whatever, I just think he's a good example of trying to make the right choices when you never realized you'd have to make these kinds of decisions and therefore are unprepared and/or unaware
Second edit: personally I don't think you can really incapacitate jimmy without there being serious risk (again he's the copilot) but curly should've given Anya the gun when she told him Abt the pregnancy
#Mouthwashing spoilers#Rape ment#Suicide ment#SA ment#Yeah. Pronouns were kicking m fucking ass in this post. Names also bc I once called curly jimmy#if I write to much my brain stops cooperating with words#Idk. The way she brings up the locks in my mind sounds a little less like#Singular Incident and more. The lack of locks is a Very Important Boundary That's Missing#That feels like it often leads to the erosion of other important boundaries especially when someone abusive#Is specifically pushing those boundaries. Idk again. My take on it#And while Anya says ''i told you'' a part of me thinks she told him like. Y'know vaguely about the situation but probably didn't#Characterize it as assault (bc even if he didn't believe her I don't think he would ask ''who'' if he remembered her telling him#That his friend assaulted her) and was maybe not interpreting it as assault herself bc she was trying to rationalize it#Bc she's in a very isolated situation for over a year in a place where Two Whole Rooms Have Locks.#Realizing she was in the cockpit (has a lock) when Curly is assuming she's suicidal (or at least going to hurt herself)#And then she's in the medbay (has a lock) when she actually. Y'know#Idk I'm fully up to debate this. If someone has good reasoning why curly is actually worse than I think he is I'm all for it#I'm just trying to like. In the context of my beliefs understand the actions he takes and how they fit in within the timeframe#But legit watching a chronological playthrough helps A LOT bc like. Game is super impactful nonlinear#But like. That's not how the characters experienced it and it really fucks with the timeline of events intuitively#Anyway again. If u hate curly that's entirely understandable I just want to try and organize my thoughts while keeping#The timeline and my view of events relatively straight. Feel like there's sometimes a lil too much focus on how the men failed Anya#When we should focus on what Anya's needs and wants are. Which ofc from our POV characters are Hard bc. It's curly and jimmy#But still it's worth trying to understand her better than they do#Game that makes you think so much your brain becomes mouthwash
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rubberduckyrye · 3 months ago
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You guys ever think about the tragedy that is Junko Enoshima? That she wasn't a sadistic girl seeking out to hurt others for sadistic glee?
Because everything Junko did was her trying to emotionally abuse herself? That she wanting to feel something so badly that she hurt the people she loved most, and even brought about ruin to the world, simply to destroy herself with it?
#junko enoshima#danganronpa#me prior to working on Twins AU: Junko is a poor villain character with little to her aside from sadism#me after actually working hard on Twins AU: .... Wait#the moment I saw something there my brain latched onto it tbh#Like this girl was so miserable with life due to boredom that she#actively#Chose to hurt herself emotionally and mentally#to the point of self destruction#because she literally had nothing else in her life she could enjoy#I think she easily felt love and joy but they had thick layers of boredom to the#them*#And that made them hard to actually enjoy#But despair is an overbearing feeling that consumes you#grief consumes you without fail#And because she learned how strongly she hated herself upon bringing harm to those she loved and all that#The pain so encompassing and engulfing with no boredom to muddy it#The feeling became addicting to her#So she grew more and more extreme with her abuse and self destruction#Until she decided to bring about the destruction of the world#Which if we follow the logic#Kinda weird of Junko who is chasing despair like a drug for her to like#want to destroy the entire world#if she harbored no affection for it#If in her selfish chase for the biggest pain she could feel in her life#if she hated the world why chase the end of it? That would be easy. That would be what she wants. And that's boring.#But if a part of Junko genuinely loved the world she lived in? Destroying it would bring about an unfathomable despair for her#Anyway that is to say Junko is an awful abuser and awful person#But this situation is similar to how I see Kenzo#''If only things were different so you wouldn't have become the monster you are now'' Kind of Tragedy
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gayanimebitches · 11 months ago
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ok. migi & dali opening. i am going to talk about it now.
throughout the opening we see so many Things. the entire series up until the second to last episode, i hadn't paid that close attention to it because god that song is a banger and honestly i was more focused on the music than the animation, despite being captivated by it every episode. but that episode for some reason. i paid more attention that time and had some Realizations.
one question i've had every single time the opening has played has been "why does one of them take the cherry pie and the other does not?" throughout the opening the two of them are seen doing the same things, effectively mirroring each other, which makes sense considering it was most of the plot for the first few episodes, so i really didn't think about it too much. but with that pattern established, it's extremely strange when, at the end, one of them strays from the shared course of action to take one of the slices of cherry pie that's sitting on the chairs.
another thing i noticed when i actually paid attention was that the one in the shadows in all their activities is always dali.
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and if that's not enough, we have this shot of migi and dali as sun and moon respectively, and i think we all have enough media literacy to understand the implications of that.
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then we have this shot of them, showing migi floating higher and dali sinking lower.
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all of these screenshots to say that the opening animation tells us exactly what the series, or at least the part that the anime currently covers, is about at its core. we see it in the series time and time again as these two try to make their way through the world.
migi is portrayed in the series as somewhat childish, frequently to a fault - generally more hopeful in what he believes, which shows in his actions and the way he interacts with others in a genuine way. dali is severe and bitter, much more driven by the idea of getting revenge for their mother, seemingly just for the sake of it at this point, and being willing to do it at any cost because he doesn't value anything other than his brother.
migi sees the good in things and, while still helping dali with their shared goal, is genuinely enjoying his life with this family and in this town. dali, on the other hand, is dedicating everything he has to their goal, not caring or bothering to invest any part of himself into anything else. (this is portrayed also by migi being in the light, enjoying the activities he's doing, and dali being in the shadows, spending all his time trying to solve their mystery.)
this conflict of priority between them results in the fight they have in episode 9. a showdown between hope and despair, over a bike in a river, all as a result of migi's off-comment about wanting to eat cherry pie again.
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and now the bike. they state this explicitly in the dialogue, but it's the first gift migi has ever gotten. so when dali throws it in, he does not hesitate even a little bit to jump in and get it. the bike is meaningless to dali - just another thing to toss and discard for the sake of moving forward. he gives up on everything so easily because he never bothered getting attached in the first place. he's so quickly ready to abandon anything and everything aside from migi. there's no way that he can be happy like that and migi knows that. migi is all he has and they both know that.
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the jealousy he expresses is just jealousy that migi is able to find happiness and value in things other than him while he's unable to do the same, as a result of his bitterness and his fixation on finding their mother's killer. he's jealous that migi is growing closer to other people and making connections that are important enough to him that he's not willing to just throw them away with the toss of a bike.
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so he takes his brother down. he forces his head underwater, and asks if he's still thinking about that cherry pie (THIS LINE IS SO FUCKING GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!). he tries to drag migi down with him into his own despair, tries to convince migi that his beloved cherry pie isn't really all that important. that it's not worth as much as migi's acting like it is.
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he tries to literally beat the hope out of migi. he is so desperate to be hopeless that he beats the shit out of his brother over and over about it.
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but, of course, that would never be enough to stop him.
and we're back to the cherry pie. dali finally caves and agrees to go back and try to sort things out, not because it's what he thinks is best for their safety, but because it's what migi wants for his happiness. he realizes that he'll only continue to hurt migi if he pushes his own cynicism on him and forces him to leave everything behind, since he had the guts to get attached. even though dali doesn't really understand the value of the cherry pie, he sees how much it matters to his brother. he sees his resolve to experience those small moments of happiness again.
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the cherry pie is taken from migi's side of the shot.
throughout the entire story, migi has been the one to see the value in the simple things, like taking walks with the dog, having friends to hang out with and do wacky bird shit with, riding a bike, and eating cherry pie together. he is not afraid to experience joy and is willing to fight for it, for both him and his brother, even if his brother doesn't see the value in it quite yet.
migi will see the good in things. he will have hope for the future. and he will take the cherry pie.
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greasydumbfuck · 5 months ago
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also just for the record. no matter how much utterly stupid shit i say or draw about him, frank actually makes me so deeply sad. this old man should be picking up his grandkids but he cant. i think about him too much and im so sad
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bacchuschucklefuck · 5 months ago
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the boy-but-not-that-way-ism of riz gukgak send tweet
#not art#have been chipping away at a more... proper? so to say. piece of the kids for keepsake. and since its of them at the beach Im rotating#gender stuff in brain again. riz and gorgug ping a lot of the like funny gender stuff in my brain#very specifically adjacent to cultural understanding of it all... like I did say I do think riz has a gender and it can be#translated to ''man'' in solesian understanding but also that boy has close to no self awareness nor does he want to#he grew up as ''goblin'' before ''boy'' and it's kinda how he perceives himself. got a gender but doesn't wanna do much with it#kinda imagining him seeing his grandparents again and realizing that there's a gap there between himself and his grandpa too#and sitting with that for a bit. not for long that kid doesnt do that but for just a little bit#man I truly really do love that riz is aroace. my boy of the unquantifiable unimportant margins....#gorgug though is 100% trans lmao. there's a kinda distance to his own body in how he acts#that's kinda common in ''mad scientist'' characters? (or maybe my perspective's just skewed due to willow jenkins lmao)#kid spent the first two seasons fitting himself in places he Should be able to fit. and s3 is pretty much all about him Making New Spaces#thing is despite looking ardently for like. the reason Why he can't fit in in the first season I think gorgug really does#love his gnome parents and love being their child. and its confusing and tough to have to learn why something you love still hurts you#he wants it to not. he wants to make sense. and then it does and it changes nothing really#until he actively makes choices based on what he's learned. like. damn idk how to word it but#just like the ability to say ''actually this Is my life what are u gonna do? stop me from living it?'' is a powerful force#its rly fun to look at these two guys in these contexts thats like#they will never win the gender game just by virtue of being who they are. it's not designed for folks like them to win#but riz would simply not play and gorgug would design his Own game he's the champion of. and I think that rules
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