#hunting life
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Random Musings on Sam and Dean: Relationships and Hunting
There is something about Sam starting out the series as the one with friends, and Dean being this loner who essentially tells him he shouldn’t even try to have relationships with other people when they are hunters. Dean sees his immediate family and hunting as the absolute most important things, and everyone else are outsiders.
Some of these things sort of stay the same over the course of the show, but others change in a pretty significant way.
Random, not super well-organized, and potentially off-base, thoughts under the cut. (If anyone actually reads this, please feel free to weigh in.)
Then, as the series goes on, Sam loses or let’s go of almost all of his relationships, until he has pretty much only Dean. He’s afraid to truly get close to anyone out of fear they will be hurt … except for Dean, who is already embedded too deeply in his heart to cut out.
Meanwhile, “Loner” Dean is collecting friends, or extended “family”. Yet, he still doesn’t want them around most of the time, seeming happiest when it’s just him and Sam, with Castiel and Bobby as tolerated/appreciated additions to the family, yet not quite full-family. I’m not including Jack here because no one will ever convince me that Dean fully let him in (and this isn’t a criticism).
The relationships differences between Sam and Dean are like an extension of how they fit into hunting.
Sam befriended normies in the past, but doesn’t fully connect with many new characters out of fear of losing them, while Dean befriends hunters and the supernatural adjacent. There is something about this … like, Dean fits the hunter life in a way Sam doesn’t, even in terms of relationships or how those in the hunting life relate to Dean vs Sam. I’m not saying Dean always likes hunting, or that he bares his soul to everyone he calls friend/family, but he fits it, even socially, better than Sam (and Dean isn’t even that friendly). Sam, with just a very few exceptions, doesn’t make himself at home in the hunting life, including not opening himself up to the people they meet… at least until much later in the series (if then). It’s like he’s afraid to fully live or engage as a hunter in some ways. This is like him refusing to see the bunker as a home until long after Dean has already thoroughly nested there.
Even Sam’s reactions to the hunting life are never quite proportionate, they are often too big (Demon blood, saving Dean from the MOC and risking literally everyone else) or too little (running when he loses Dean Season 7/8). Sam is the Goldilocks of hunting, except I don’t think he ever finds “just right.” And this doesn’t mean he isn’t good at it, or doesn’t learn to “love it,” but I don’t think it ever quite fits him fully.
Sam got close to Jessica and makes friends at Stamford, but he had fully turned his back on hunting at the time. Sam gets close to Amelia, but it’s because he’s running from hunting (and losing Dean). The only time he feels really settled in as a hunter (when it’s not a connection to Dean) is when he’s soulless. It’s only when he’s missing a crucial part of himself (or he has a revenge mission) that he fully embraces the life.
Dean, on the other hand, feels like purgatory is pure: kill the bad thing, rinse and repeat. Even when Dean is living with Lisa, he has an eye and ear open for monsters, and can’t fully shut off those instincts. Unlike with Sam, Dean melds life and hunting and family into this co-existing thing that he’s able to settle into. Again, this isn’t all Dean is, and it doesn’t come without personal/emotional/mental consequences, but Dean is a hunter, and he even suggests in Season 14 that he’s content.
Sam, in Season 10, tells Charlie he loves hunting, but he adds the caveat that he wouldn’t do it without his brother. And even getting into the weeds of Dabb era, Sam tells Mary he hunts because his family (Dean) does.
Speaking of Mary, Sam doesn’t even let her fully in. He provides a shoulder for her at times, respects her autonomy, and eve tries to make her proud, but he never fully opens up to her, not like Dean does. And we know how Sam got along with John who trained the boys to hunt .. or, you know, didn’t.
Dean is Sam’s exception. He’s close to Dean even though Dean is associated with hunting, is basically the best hunter. Sam says several times that he hunts because Dean does. He doesn’t get close to anyone in the hunting life, except for Dean. Dean is Sam’s tether into hunting after his revenge quest for Jess and guilt from losing John wear down.
Bear with me on this one, but the long-term, or big characters, associated with the hunting world are largely closer to Dean or exist to hurt Sam. John (Mr. Hunter Parent) was disappointed in Sam’s lack of both commitment to hunting and obedience, and favoured Dean (not that it did him any good). Bobby considers Sam like a son, but Dean is his clear favourite (and Sam rarely turns to Bobby for personal help, if ever). Castiel considers Sam a friend/family, but as an extension of Dean. The angels hate Sam because he’s lucifer’s vessel. Ruby was able to manipulate Sam into embracing his power (and hunting) and was closer to him than Dean, but it was because of his initial grief for Dean that she was able to get in his head. Sam is tormented by the devil himself when he’s in the hunting life. Sam never thaws towards Crowley w who tries to take Dean away when he becomes Dean’s frienemy. Mary (Mrs Hunter Parent) comes back to life and basically ignores Sam out of her own guilt and bonds more with Dean (at least at first). Rowena bonds more with Sam than Dean, but they bond over shared trauma not really hunting (though she does teach him spells, so she’s a bit of an exception). Jack, Sam actually bonds with more than Dean, but it’s over shared “freak” experience, and Jack actually becomes the new god, so while he starts as a part of hunting life, he is actually beyond it.
Even the junior hunter girls are arguably closer to Dean: Krissy, Claire and Charlie. And we have the part-time hunters. Jody is pretty close to both boys, maybe even leaning towards Sam, but she’s a cop as well as a part-time hunter. She isn’t fully in the life. Donna, the other cop and part-time hunter is definitely closer to Dean. So, the rule mostly holds true even for the more minor hunters. Finally, even a lot of the random hunters we meet hate Sam (Gordon, Walt and Roy, Girl in Episode 2 of Season 9, etc).
Anyway, my point with all of this is that there might actually be a reason that so many chracters in the hunter world, or associated with it, are closer to Dean than Sam. And it isn’t just writer favouritism or “Everybody just loves Dean” ( 🤷🏻♀️). I mean, it makes sense that chracters are drawn to Dean because he’s got that charm, while Sam tends towards introverted. But it actually makes sense to be more than that within the story. Sam is never quite at home, or settled in, or fits in to the hunter society or hunting world.
And yet, while most chracters are out here preferring Dean, Dean couldn’t care less because Sam is his world. And in return, Dean is Sam’s exception to everything. He stays in hunting for Dean (in the long run). He gives up many of his morals for Dean. He risks damning everyone in the world with the darkness for Dean. He learns to love hunting because it’s part of his life with Dean. And he gives it up again when there is no Dean alive on earth (assuming he quits in the finale).
I know there is more to their relationships than this little summary, and this didn’t cover Deans also complex relationship with hunting and John and Mary, etc., but it just stuck me as interesting how so much of the show truly points to Sam not fitting in the hunting world. It’s almost like he paused his regularly scheduled programming to be with Dean for the rest of Dean’s life, before carrying on.
But the kicker is, even though Sam (seemingly) gets out of hunting, the normal life can no longer fit him either because it doesn’t have his big brother Dean in it.
It is undoubtably sad that Dean dies young, but Sam is also still living out a tragedy at the end of Supernatural.
The fact that we got reunited brothers on that bridge is … everything.
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There's something so personal about Bobby (who is seen as Supernatural's best father figure) lying to Dean for one year to force him into a normal life and not caring if it makes him miserable because it fulfils thee hunter fantasy of getting out.
While Dean always respects the choice of other people even if he disagrees, like it's shown with Krissy and Claire.
He doesn't drag Jesse and Cesar back into hunting because leaving is their choice and he isn't going to ruin it because they (Sam) freed the Darkness.
#i love bobby but he is on the dean-you-aren't-allowed-to-feel-what-you-feel train 😔#bobby singer#dean and kids#season 6#season 11#hunting life#my post
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Gender differences that can be seen in such places (apology, invention, comedy...): Essay
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Men and women passing each other: bows and vessels
Below is part of a letter I wrote to a certain woman.
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Thinking back, when I met you at F in 20XX, I called you and said, "(Ms. T's) waiting time will be about 30 minutes." I wanted to hear what you said." In other words, you said that you was worried that I didn't answer, "The waiting time will be about 30 minutes. I'm sorry." On the contrary, I felt that it was an unexpected opinion.
One time, I heard a story on the radio. When two boys (A and B) were playing together, when B asked, "What are you going to do tomorrow?" It's no good because there is." The storyteller said she was worried that this would damage their friendship, but she said that there was no problem, and that A and B continued to interact normally. It is a mental landscape of men that is difficult for women to understand.
Since ancient times, men's language has been constructed simply for the exchange of "instructions" and "understandings" in hunting life, while women have been engaged in gathering and farming, and have long and long-term partnerships. It must have been arranged to exchange "comforts" so that the same members who were working would not quarrel.
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In the "invention" genre, the achievements of men are overwhelmingly conspicuous. An invention that overturned common sense until then... For example, the telephone as a tool was an invention that defied common sense by far. On the other hand, inventions made by women are "minor inventions" that fall within the bounds of common sense. For example, a housewife invented the "half-cut slipper", which cuts off the heel side of the slipper and asks you to stand on your toes, which leads to a clean diet. This was a hit in Japan, and many women went out of their way to purchase it.
Here are some contrasting sentences:
@1: It is the man who makes the child bear, and the woman who bears it.
@2: In the world of comedy, "Men make women laugh, and women laugh."
@3: A man builds a bridge over a river, and a woman crosses it. This is the same as for inventions. Women are beneficiaries.
It is a sentence that feels the gender difference between men and women. Especially from the man's side, it takes a lot of effort to get a woman to do something, and he feels supreme joy when he can do something that a woman expects.
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do genuinely find it fascinating how indeed.com is like the biggest job-hunting website out there and yet manages to be profoundly useless in every possible way
#i'm not even being bitchy i'm just genuinely bewildered by it.#like everyone will need to search for a job at some point in their life#and everyone will need to use a job-hunting website to do it#so why are there so few options and why are they all so awful
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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.
#katniss everdeen#the hunger games trilogy#the hunger games#primrose everdeen#hunger games#batcavescolony reads the hunger games#suzanne collins#'now it seems i have become someone precious' NOW? GIRL BFFR you're their hunter girl#and this isn't negative just bffr girl#your WHOLE DISTRICT did the three finger salute that you yourself says means admiration thanks and goodbye to someone you love and on top is#old a rarely used. your WHOLE DISTRICT decided in that moment that they needed to bring back this sign of respect for YOU#...................................................................#idk why some people are thinking i mean this as negative i don't she is unreliable but its not intentional. like when Peeta heart stoped in#CF she doesn't know what Finnick is doing at first cus she doesn't know off the top of her head what cpr is. she also thinks Peeta after the#reaping is acting for the cameras. he isnt we dind out later his mom basically told him Katniss was gonna win and he would die. obviously#shes not doing it on purpose shes just for lack of better words uneducated? as in she doesn't know everything shes not omnipotent#so when Plutarch (? second games guy) shows her his mokingjay hiden watch shes like *wtf that's weird?* then the people traveling to#district 13 show her the mockingjay cookie and explains it and she then goes on the difference between his watch and their cookie#and why does eveyone act as if district 12 is as bad as the capital? they CANT help Katniss and Prim in the way you want. they cant give#them food. none of them have any! and im not putting iton Katniss but they hid they needed food so they could stay together. it sounds like#some of you are in this our world mentally of what people do after a loved one dies (brings food constantly checks on them etc) district 12#cant do that. they dont have food and they're all suffering. you cant give someone food when you have none to give. then theirs the fact#that peeta DID help. Peeta buring the bread and tossing some to her then taking a beating from his mom is a HUGE thing in the books.#he used his resources to help her like you all said someone should.#district 12 DID (rip) care about Katniss before the hunger games. why do you think she was allowed to hunt? or how her trades were good#these are the little ways 12 can shows Katniss they love her. but again Katniss doesn't see this and YES its because she had ptsd before the#hunger games as well. i swear some of you make it seem like d12 was all living a life of luxury and glaring down at Katniss.#other things that show Katniss is in hight standing with at least her people of d12 is her dad was known enough through d12 for peeta dad to#comment on his singing along with his commenting on her mom. also her mom is a healer in the community. yeah her parents arnt the top but#of d12 but they are/were definitely high staning in the Seam.
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AWESOME Brat recipe
Great Brat Venison Recipe
youtube
#ReefDVMs#deer#venison#venison brats#venison recipe#deer recipe#venison burger#deer burger#homesteading#farmsteading#cooking#home cooking#deer processing#deer grinding#meat grinding#meat stuffing#venison stuffing#venison grinding#best venison sausage#tailgater recipe#tailgator brats#farm#hunting life#big game cooking#big game processing#brats#burger#hamburger#making your own burger#making your own brats
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#Ghost makes videos#new tag#So actually there is a video of this somewhere on the internet with this kind of edit.#but for the life of me I couldn't find it#so I made one#so this is kinda original?#maybe#animals#coyote#badger#also fun fact! Coyotes and badgers often hunt together!#so these two are most likely friends in the ecosystem
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A Ghostly Text Mishap
Danny flopped onto his bed, phone in hand, glaring at the screen. Another long day of dealing with Vlad's manipulative nonsense had left him frustrated beyond belief. He opened his messages, found the contact labeled Trucker, and began furiously typing.
Danny: You will NOT believe what Plasmius did this time. The absolute NERVE of this guy. You’d think being half-dead would make someone LESS petty, but nooo, this man’s ego is bigger than the Ghost Zone.
Danny: He tried to "buy" my parents' company AGAIN. He offered to “help” with ghost containment tech but really just wants to snoop around for weaknesses in the portal.
Danny: AND he had the audacity to call me “Little Badger” like it’s a term of endearment. I swear, if I hear that ONE MORE TIME, I might go full ghost and dropkick him into the Fenton Thermos.
Satisfied with his venting, Danny tossed his phone onto the bed and buried his face in his pillow. Unbeknownst to him, he had made one critical mistake.
Jason Todd, aka Red Hood, was sitting in his safe house, polishing his guns when his phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen.
Unknown Number: You will NOT believe what Plasmius did this time…
Jason raised an eyebrow. “What the hell is this?” he muttered, scrolling through the tirade. By the time he got to “Little Badger”, he was smirking.
He typed back:
Jason: Kid, I think you’ve got the wrong number. Unless this “Plasmius” guy is a Gotham villain I’ve somehow missed.
Danny’s phone buzzed, and he rolled over to check it. His heart dropped when he saw the reply.
Danny: Oh no. This isn’t Trucker, is it?
Jason: Nope. But you’ve got my attention. Who’s Plasmius, and why does he sound like the type of guy I’d shoot on principle?
Danny hesitated, then decided to just roll with it.
Danny: Short version: he’s a half-ghost fruitloop billionaire who’s obsessed with ruining my life, becoming my creepy stepdad, and taking over the world. Think Lex Luthor but undead and ickier.
Jason burst out laughing, earning a curious glance from Roy Harper, who had just walked in.
“Who’s got you laughing like that?” Roy asked, setting down a bag of takeout.
“Some kid who texted me by mistake,” Jason replied, showing him the messages.
Roy skimmed them and snickered. “Plasmius? Sounds like a knockoff vampire villain.”
Jason’s fingers flew over the keyboard.
Jason: Okay, kid, you’ve officially got my interest. I don’t know who you are, but if this Plasmius guy’s half as bad as you say, I’ve got some creative ways to deal with him. You in Gotham?
Danny stared at the message, blinking. Who even was this guy? But... he did sound like he knew how to handle problems.
Danny: Uh, no. I’m from Amity Park. It’s kind of a supernatural hotspot, so I’ve got it covered. But thanks for the offer, I guess?
Jason smirked.
Jason: Supernatural hotspot? Kid, you’re talking to someone who’s been resurrected. Ghosts don’t scare me.
Danny froze. Resurrected? Oh no. This guy might actually know about the supernatural.
Danny: ...Wait, who ARE you?
Jason: Name’s Jason. Most people call me Red Hood. Ever heard of me?
Danny blinked, then groaned. “Of course. I text a vigilante. Just my luck.”
Danny: ...Yeah, I’ve heard of you. So, uh, thanks for not tracking this number and showing up at my house or something.
Jason: Yet.
Danny felt a shiver run down his spine.
Danny: That’s not funny, dude.
Jason: Relax, Little Badger. Your secret’s safe with me. For now. But hey, if you ever need help dealing with your undead billionaire problem, hit me up.
Danny sighed, shaking his head.
Danny: Sure. Thanks, I guess?
Jason leaned back, grinning as he saved the number under Ghost Kid.
“Roy, I think I just found the weirdest contact in my phone.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Roy replied, tossing Jason a burger.
“Not bad. Just… different.” Jason chuckled. “Plasmius, huh? Sounds like fun.”
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc#blue rambles#crossover#random idea#writing ideas#batman#jason todd#danny phantom dc#wrong number#au#Jason is concerned and doing his best to keep the green at bay#Danny is freaking out cause he just spilled everything#oh no#danny is already stressed over his life#he doesnt need more#he totally does the disappearing peace out meme when he spots Redhood in town a few days later#and Redhood totally got Babs to hunt down the owner of the number and boy oh boy does that open a can of worms#anti-ecto acts piss him off cause he technically falls under it too#and thats just touching the surface of things that piss him off#dps fandom#dc x dp crossover#batfam#danny is a little shit#dpxdc#ghost king danny#dc x dp#sassy danny#danny being danny
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How the old timey prick got his pet
#FREE HUSK#i need to see the psychopathic freak go down for trapping husk#their dynamic is soooo fascinating to me#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel spoilers#hazbin hotel fanart#husk is singing when you’re smiling the whole world smiles with you#headcanon that his voice saved his life but locked his fate#husk#husker#husker hazbin hotel#radiohusk#hc; alastor was hunting overlords and husk was next but then alastor saw his show#my doods#alastor…when i catch you alastor 👊🏽💥
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catharsis of punishment this catharsis of forgiveness that. what about the catharsis of it finally being acknowledged that it wasn't your fault. the catharsis of being relieved of the burden of guilt that never should have been yours to carry.
#🐉#guy who had his life RUINED by that one scene in good will hunting and never really got over it voice:
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The Age-Old Pursuit: A Closer Look at Hunting
Introduction
Hunting, an age-old practice deeply rooted in human history, has evolved from a necessity for survival to a popular recreational activity, wildlife management tool, and even a cultural tradition. While opinions about hunting vary greatly, it is essential to examine the practice from multiple perspectives to gain a comprehensive understanding of its impact on ecosystems, cultures, and individuals. In this article, we will explore the diverse facets of hunting, from its historical origins to its modern-day significance.
Historical Roots
Hunting is an activity that predates recorded history. Early humans depended on hunting for sustenance, clothing, and tools, marking the beginning of our intricate relationship with the natural world. The evolution of hunting techniques and the development of tools, such as spears and bows, played a pivotal role in human survival and advancement. As human societies grew, hunting also became an integral part of many cultures, often acquiring spiritual, social, and ceremonial significance.
Cultural Significance
For numerous cultures, hunting is more than just a means of acquiring food; it is a deeply ingrained cultural practice. Indigenous societies around the world have maintained hunting traditions as a way of preserving their heritage and maintaining a connection to their ancestral lands. These traditions often involve rituals, storytelling, and the passing down of knowledge from one generation to the next.
Hunting has also played a role in shaping the identities and values of various societies. In some cultures, hunting is seen as a rite of passage, signifying the transition from adolescence to adulthood. It promotes values like responsibility, respect for nature, and an understanding of the interconnectedness of all life forms.
Conservation and Wildlife Management
Hunting has evolved into a crucial tool for wildlife management and conservation. By controlling populations of certain species, hunters help maintain the balance within ecosystems. Overpopulation of certain species can lead to habitat degradation, disease outbreaks, and other ecological imbalances. Through regulated hunting programs, authorities can manage wildlife populations to ensure the health and stability of ecosystems.
Revenue generated from hunting licenses, permits, and fees also contributes to funding conservation efforts. These funds support initiatives such as habitat restoration, research, and the protection of endangered species. Thus, hunting can be seen as a way for enthusiasts to actively participate in the preservation of our natural world.
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Ethical Considerations
The ethical aspects of hunting remain a subject of intense debate. While proponents argue that hunting, when carried out ethically and sustainably, is a valid way of procuring food and supporting conservation, opponents raise concerns about the treatment of animals and the potential for excessive killing.
To address these concerns, many regions have implemented strict regulations to ensure the humane treatment of animals and the preservation of species. Ethical hunters are expected to follow these guidelines, which include hunting only within designated seasons, using appropriate firearms, and minimizing suffering through clean and efficient kills.
The Future of Hunting
As society becomes increasingly urbanized and distanced from the natural world, hunting faces challenges in terms of public perception and participation. However, the practice remains a vital component of many rural economies and cultures, as well as a valuable tool in wildlife management.
The future of hunting may involve an increased emphasis on education, ethics, and sustainability. Programs that teach hunters to respect and protect the environment, understand animal behavior, and engage in ethical hunting practices are likely to become more widespread. Additionally, the integration of modern technology, such as GPS tracking and conservation apps, can make hunting more responsible and accountable.
Conclusion
Hunting is a multifaceted activity that has left an indelible mark on human history, culture, and ecology. From its humble beginnings as a survival necessity to its role in wildlife management and conservation, hunting has evolved over millennia. While ethical concerns persist, the practice continues to adapt and find its place in a rapidly changing world. Understanding and discussing the various aspects of hunting is essential for striking a balance between our evolving societal values and the conservation of our natural heritage.
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I'm back in the Tigers cage again.
(You too can join in on throwing a Rat Of A Man into a Tiger cage by reading Tiger Tiger)
#non mdzs#Still need a sona tag name...#Tiger tiger#When I say 'I need to hunt him down for blood' what I really mean is:#'I really like this character and I enjoy how he's able to provoke emotion in the readers'.#Thank you Petra for being such an amazing writer!#The penultimate chapter of Tiger Tiger is underway! I'm so excited to see how things will conclude!#There is truly no better time to be getting into Tiger Tiger than right now! Don't wait!#More TIger's comics *are* on the horizon. So sorry for underfeeding you guys.#Life got busy and I ended up taking a break for 2 months but I am *back* and I won't be leaving any time soon.#I got a tad overwhelmed with the discord; it's a fun place to chat but very busy - I'll try and pop in more often.
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🦁🧣
favoritism showing through <3 i love him so much... this is for a personal print! i have like 2 more standee concept n 2? 3? print idea i haven't gotten to but soon. if i can't get a good standee of him then by whatever is up there i will make it myself my commission are open reblogs are appreciated!
full ver eheh
#leona kingscholar#twst leona#fanart#twst fanart#twisted wonderland#my art#illustration#digital art#art#twisted wonderland fanart#artists on tumblr#artist support#i love you leona kingscholar#i think about him every day#hes the ultimate bias wrecker because i was a BIG rook hunt fan still even when i come back#fighting for my life to let go and then he came barreling towards me at mach speed#2020 kanbi would've felt so betrayed by 2024 kanbi because i used to think he's overrated lol
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Damian Wayne vs the World
Sixteen year old Damian Wayne is on the hunt for a younger sibling. Being more discerning than Bruce 'child collector' Wayne, Damian's firm criteria for Batman's latest adoption problem includes but is not limited to: black haired, blue-eyed, tolerable humor, not evil, and most importantly - younger than Damian.
Lucky for him, fourteen year old newbie vigilante Danny Fenton is the perfect fit. Now, to fulfill his end of their deal, Damian must defeat the evil government organization hunting Danny in order to gain a baby brother.
Or, @livinghalfway your post made my brain go !! but in such a different way I figured it was better to make a separate post, hope you don't mind/enjoy still
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Damian Wayne re-entered Tim Drake's life like a gnat revealing itself in a closed bedroom space. Tim was in t-shirt and a boxers, maneuvering ramen into his mouth with one hand and scribbling out an epiphany on a murder case with another, when Damian's demonic dulcet voice echoed down from the ceiling. "Drake," said Damian, judgemental, "You live like this?"
Tim nearly choked on his ramen, because the day Damian doesn't attempt to murder him - however doubtfully accidental this incident might be - is the day Darkseid decides to be friends with the Justice League. "Fucking knock," Tim coughed out. "And get out. No one invited you in."
"Put better traps if you don't want me here," said Damian, dropping from the ceiling where he'd crawled in on wall-clamps.
"This is my apartment," said Tim. "It's called courtesy."
Damian sniffed. He padded around to Tim's desk and frowns at his cases, then said, with no further lead up, "I need your assistance."
"No," said Tim.
"You did not even listen to my request."
"Don't need to," said Tim. "Answer's still no. Door is that way. Bye."
"Father says mutually assisting each other is beneficial," said Damian.
"Father," said Tim sarcastically, "blamed me for you exploding a glitter bomb in the batcave two weeks ago."
"That is your fault for not being able to provide evidence to the contrary in an appropriately efficient manner," said Damian. He squinted down at Tim. "And he apologized. Eventually."
"I would not have glittered the batcomputer," said Tim. "Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to backup those servers? No, because you don't like tech work, you just profit off it."
"Blaming me for Father's mistake," said Damian, "Most mature of you. But we must put our differences aside. I have selected a new family member and I need you to dismantle a government organization."
That drew Tim up short. He blinked down at his ramen as though it might explain Damian's words to him, but the ramen remained disappointingly uninformative. "Repeat that," said Tim, gesturing with his chopsticks. "Slower, and with more detail."
Damian pulled out his phone and sent him an email. Silence surrounded them in the brief moment it took Tim to set aside his chopsticks and open the email. The subject line was titled 'New Baby Brother', which birthed all sorts of horrifying nightmares of Damian Part 2: Demon Child Boogaloo. The teen in the inserted picture, however, was reassuringly not in possession of Damian's bone structure.
He did have black hair and blue eyes. "Who am I looking at?" asked Tim.
"Daniel Fenton," said Damian. "He is fourteen years old, enjoys puns, and has recently awakened 'ghost powers' that allow him to transform into the vigilante Phantom to fight other ghosts."
"Is he also an orphan with a tragic backstory?"
"No," said Damian, and Tim relaxed. "But that will not be an issue. We can share custody if they cannot be removed from the picture."
"Jesus H, kid."
"I am joking, of course," said Damian blandly. "Murder is wrong."
"Ha ha," said Tim. "If he has parents already he's not joining our menagerie."
"He will," said Damian, with a smug upwards tilt of his lips. "He and I have a deal."
"So you're coercing him in addition to stalking him. Anything else you want to share with the class?"
Damian considered this query with a serious frown, which was how Tim knew this was not a flight of fancy or a very early midlife crisis (although with their lifestyle and Damian already having died before...).
"He has," said Damian after a moment, "a rogue that calls himself 'The Master of all Technology' and is a technopath." This was clearly meant to be of interest to Tim, and not to be a stereotype, but it kind of was.
"Great." Tim turned his attention back to the email the demon child sent him. He scanned through it quickly. There was apparently a secret and evil government organization dedicated to the investigation and extermination of 'ghosts' and other paranormal creatures in the world. Their latest efforts were focused on the town of Amity Park, Illinois, which was 'infested with ectoplasmic pests'. Their words, not Damian's. (It was specified in the email.)
"Okay," Tim drummed his fingers against his desk. "Before I help you defeat this secret evil government organization so that," he opened the email attachment with a contract on it and squinted at the legalese, "this poor newbie teen you've harassed into signing this joins the family in exchange."
"I did not harass him," Damian huffed. "It was a gentleman's agreement."
"Does he know that?"
"I am not a politician, Drake. I thoroughly explained the terms and legalities before presenting any contract. Now ask your question."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because," said Damian, tone implying 'you are stupid and haven't noticed something obvious, idiot'. "Father has begun saying he misses the noise around the manor and looking wistfully at old pictures."
"We still live there though?" said Tim. Damian looked flatly at him. "Sometimes."
"If you lived there frequently enough," said Damian, "you would already know Father is having...empty nest syndrome." Damian sounded disgusted. "I refuse to tolerate whatever inadequate and incompetent child he will find."
"So instead you found an incompetent and inadequate child for him?"
"Don't be stupid, Drake," said Damian. "I would not have chosen someone inadequate. Daniel is merely lacking formal training. Father can rectify this. It will keep him occupied for at least the next two to four years, which gives me enough time to find another black-haired, blue-eyed, tolerable child I approve of to be his successor and my second younger sibling." Damian paused. "Or until one of you procreates and gives him a grandchild."
"You're really serious about this," Tim whispered in horrified awe.
"I am serious about everything I do," said Damian. "Now, you will help me defeat this evil government organization so that our new sibling joins us."
"Okay," said Tim, but his mind snagged on a minor, throwaway detail, so utterly in odds with Damian 'Demonic Jealous Child' Al Ghul it surely came from another person - "Did you just call this kid your successor?"
#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny phantom#batman#no danny in this yet...#just damian and tim bc they amuse me#my writing#title is a reference to scott pilgrim vs the world bc like. damian isn't fighting 7 evil exes but he is fighting an evil govt. org#i shall add more hopefully... this idea amuses me a lot...#and then post it to ao3 once it is longer...#probably...#anyway the damian and danny conversation went loosely as follows:#Damian: vigilante ghost child. I have decided you are worthy of being my newest brother.#Danny: ... I'm flattered I guess? But I already have a family.#Damian: *begins outlining all the dumb stuff in Danny's life that would be improved by joining the batfam*#Damian: *realizes his strategy isn't working*#Damian:... i will dismantle the government org hunting you in exchange for your cooperation and joining my family#Danny: ?? whatever sure if you get rid of them I'll call you big bro#Damian: we shall get along well
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