#humans are all the same tbh and it's not a large jump to make

[squiddy-god]

Groom of the deep sea

(ghost Azul x reader)

Re-uploading from terminated blog squid-god-supreme! This is my new blog after tumbler decided I was no long passing the vibe check for unknown reasons- this was a request of a sort of ghost groom azul.

CW : kidnapping, ghost azul, implied drowning, this is really short I should make a longer one tbh, reader is called bride

The warm salt air was only cooled down by the gentle breeze sweeping across the docks and licking the waves of the water below. Fingers running across the warped wood at the end of the old wooden docks you stared at the water that looked so inviting. 

Ghostly pale and ashen skin like sea sand, a face appeared in the dark Water like it was beckoning you to follow. Cool sea water wets the pads of your fingers and your palm as it descends. 

"Y/n! Hey there!" An older woman calls out to you. You reel back, drying your hand on your pants before scrambling to get up. "Ah! Miss monty, I didn't expect to see you here at the docks-" you chuckled lightly. "Well Deary I saw you over the water like you were about to fall in" she says before her smile falls. "These Waters are haunted, they say, the spirit of the sea witch, don't go chasing faces in the Water now!" You're Sure she meant that last part as a joke but if only she knew. 

Deep below the sea, in a cave lit by glowing flowers and algae, luminescent blues and deep purple hues making shadows on the sea creatures face. Inky black limbs that held a purple hue as they sat in the sand and pad of large sea plants. 

Blue grey eyes gazed with longing at his ashen hand, touch still lingering against the pads of his fingers. "Jade, floyd '' he called and as if waiting, the two eels swam out from the dark corners of the inky black cave. "Yes Azul?"  Floyd answers. "The human, the one who almost jumped into the sea with me- the way their touch felt- like I was alive" he mused, eyes turning to the eels at his side. "Get them"  With that the eels were off. 

"Say, you wouldn't happen to be who we're looking for? Hmm shrimp? " the tall man asked. You took in his odd appearance from where you sat, his teal green hair and sharp, striking grin that seemed almost unnaturally wide. Most striking However was his Mitch matched eyes that seemed to lull you into a trance, "I believe they are indeed azuls bride" another tall man, the same appearance but flipped, said beside you. "B-bride-" you began but soon they were already off the docks, hitting the water without a single splash. "Yeah yeah shrimpy~ " the one called Floyd started "you see our boss has been quite lonely without you" the other continued. "What- wait wait, what do you mean without me-" a sour look seemed to pass over the two men in the Water, they swam closer without a ripple. "Hmmm, doesn't shrimpy remember? " Floyd tilted his head. "To be expected, but I'm sure in time they will want to pick up right where they left off" 

And with that your wrists were grabbed by ice cold and slimy hands, your body hitting the Water was the only warmth that hit your body after chills ran down your spine. 

All lights faded to black as your lungs burned and your fate was sealed.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 1

Propaganda why Joker is insufferable:

"I want to play a self-insert who is a normal guy. I don't want to play a self-insert who is super skilled in everything he tries, incredibly intelligent, unnaturally strong and agile, world famous, makes everyone's lives better by breathing in their direction, is necessary for anything to happen in the story and the world at large, never has a serious disagreement with a non-villain, and makes every woman he can interact with fall in love with him. like omg shut up"

"He’s not insufferable in the base game, really. He’s so hypocritical in Royal, it’s maddening. It’s the like writers and the protagonists are always on his side. There’s this guy in Royal—Maruki Takuto—who gives up his fiancée (so she can have a happy life by not remembering him and her interconnected debilitating trauma) in order to make everyone in the world happy. By changing reality itself so that everyone has a good ending. Sure, the way he goes about it is questionable, but he just needs some help. He gets punched in the face for his troubles. LITERALLY. The other villains in this game are actual criminals/murderers/downright VILE people. but only Maruki gets treated terribly for the crime of *checks paper* doing the EXACT SAME THING as the protagonists but more.

It’s like Joker and everyone else wants to be the /only ones/ who get to choose whose hearts to change. There’s no actual reason for them not to take Maruki’s side, even in canon. It feels like a mix of “I don’t want a stinky ADULT controlling everything” and “but but we won’t be as close without all the trauma and messed up things that happened to us!” Lady, your friend was so distraught that she jumped off a rooftop and you’re choosing to let that happen??

You can even say that society in the game was miserable. Miserable enough for them to want a false god controlling them just a few months prior, so most people would actually agree with Maruki. Maruki’s plan LITERALLY revived people who were dead, and it’s not fake or a dream. He’s genuinely a good person but Joker and his squad don’t want to be happy? Or something?? So they take away everyone else’s happiness because of their own pride.

I got so upset at Joker that I chose the “bad ending” and shelved the game for a year."

Propaganda why Quentin Coldwater is insufferable:

"Quentin is the epitome of self important, entitled young men who think it's okay for their actions to have consequences for other people because he's smarter than them. He's constantly letting his friends (especially the female characters!) take the brunt of his bad decisions (end of the first book, I'm looking at you.) Every time something he does comes back to bite home he goes all "surprised Pikachu face". And he's nowhere near as smart as he thinks he is. Ugh."

"I hated this man so much I stopped reading an otherwise engaging book. I don't even remember all the reasons I just found him so infuriating that my hate for him survived multiple years."

"Affluent white kid, wants desperately to be in Narnia as his only ambition in life, stares at the boobs of nearby women, thinks people without magic are living empty lives even though he's desperately depressed and rudderless with it, cheats on his girlfriend for literally no reason. Also, incel vibes."

"He's a very Depressed White Sadboy about everything. He's got a very asshole attitude towards women especially, and tbh I don't really feel like it gets better, not even by book 3 (the way he "rescues" Alice and forces her to be human again by trying to like. Maker her love him. Was annoying and skeevy. This reddit thread sums it up well: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fantasy/s/HlZU4Rb0UG"

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight July 2024

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family and a little info about them!

GIF by akaribaby

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

RainyThursdayNight

Tumblr handle: @rainythursdaynight

AO3: miss_bored_tf_outta_her_mind

What is your SPN OTP? Dean/Castiel

Are you in any other fandoms? The Umbrella Academy, She-Ra, Attack on Titan, The Legend of Korra, Avatar the Last Airbender, The Owl House, MCU, Harry Potter, Detroit Become Human, The Walking Dead (Telltale), etc.

What are you looking for in the Pond? A place to write alongside others/learn from other SPN writers/jump into writing for SPN with other authors and readers from the fandom!

What types/pairings do you like to read? Dean/Castiel, Castiel/Meg, Sam/Eileen, Dean/Jo, Sam/Jessica, Sam/Rowena/Gabriel, Claire/Kaia

What genres do you like to read? What are your favorite tropes Hurt/Comfort. Angst with a happy ending, Pre-series/Stanford Era, Solo Hunters Dean and Cas, Found Family, Wrong Number AUs, Time Travel AUs

What kinds of fics do you like to write? Introspective Character Studies with plot, Time-Travel, Found Family, Crossovers, Secret Agent AUs, Media Inspired AUs, literally almost anything tbh

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? Writing for Supernatural is completely new to me. I was part of a large-scale rewrite a while ago so I've rewritten episodes of the show but never really a fic, so having you guys be exposed to my writing first before I post it would be really nice. Having people who've read similar stories reading mine before I give it to the general public is the goal!

AylaCaveBear

What is your Tumblr name? @aylacavebear

What is your SPN OTP? Sam and Eileen, or Sam and Jessica

Are you in any other fandoms? Dabbles in Vampire Diaries

What are you looking for in the Pond? Interacting with others who share the same interests, i.e. Others who enjoy SPN fanfics, reading and/or writing. Learning more about navigating Tumblr better and enhancing my writing, as well as helping others if I can.

BOOST: Honestly, I'd like to promote my sister. She made something for me to promote my tumblr on youtube. (I'm not looking for subscribers or views. She's just amazing at what she does and thought there might be other users who might be interested in what she offers.)

What type/pairings do you like to read? Reader Inserts mostly, A/B/O dynamics, Dean x Reader/You and even some Sam x Reader/You.

What genres/tropes do you like to read? All of them honestly. I have to say though, Smut with Fluff and Angst are my absolute favorites. I also love a good plot twist.

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? I can't say I have one favorite. There are so many amazing authors on there. @holylulusworld has some amazing A/B/O fics, as well as many others. I've sort of been binge-reading them at the time of answering these, lol.

What kinds of fics do you like to write? I love to write fics that are Dean x Reader/You. The "reader" is typically also an OC and they typically have some bizarre 1-in-a-million trait. I love writing series with lots of parts and typically have a slow burn filled with fluff, angst, and all sorts of fun little things.

Tumblr Master List

Your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? I have three, lol - A/B/O, Choose Your Own Adventure (already have a plan in mind), Cas x Reader (as per a request on a one-shot I wrote asking for more and I'd love to write it).I'm not entire sure about help with any of these, as I have others I need to finish before I can even start on these.

TheCatSaysMew

What is your Tumblr name? @thecatsaysmew

What are you looking for in the Pond? I've been writing Supernatural fics for over a decade, but it has been mainly for myself so I don't publicly publish them. I absolutely love writing fics and doing character studies, and I really like reading them on Tumblr too. I was hoping to connect with the community, make some friends, get inspired to write more and also inspire others.

What pairings/type do you like to read? I'm a reader-insert girlie through and through. I usually go for the Dean x Reader fics!

What genres/tropes do you like to read? Angst. I sometimes read smut, but I find angst far more delicious than smut!

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? All my fic reading is mainly done on Tumblr. I feel like I've read every Dean x Reader fic on the platform, so I'm always excited when new ones pop up. I love reading stuff from @avanatural, @mind-empty-just-fictional-people and @wearywinchester among many others!

What kinds of fics do you like to write? Reader/Self-insert, angst, mixed in with a little soulmate trope

I don't have a masterlist as I don't usually post stuff publicly, but I did rewrite a theme from my current longfic to take part in a writing challenge.

Your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? A casefic. I actually want to incorporate it in the final part of my longfic, and I really want to get the early seasons aesthetic on point. It's so difficult to verbally describe something that we're so used to seeing visually: the gloomy shots, the dingy motels, the impala parked in front of a small town home in the rain, etc. It would be lovely to discuss on how to best write visual / cinematographic descriptions like that! Also, I'm not very good at detective-style writing, so I'm finding it quite the challenge to write a 'solve a case and defeat the monster of the week' fic.

CrowleysMistress

Crowleysmistress (ao3 not on tumblr)

Discord: Sacha04534

What is your SPN OTP? Sam/Lucifer (I mean not like shipping them but it’s all I write even if in a non-con way)

What are you looking for in the Pond? Other SPN fans - particularly angsty Sam ones

BOOST: I have a a witchcraft podcast called The Brujas Broadcast

Fic types, tropes, pairings, genres: I skip slow burn, super long ones, all reader insert, most OC, all crossover. (I like) Angst for sure, AU, adventure, smut and fluff some days depending on mood.

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? So my (AO3) history says I like ultimatefandomtrash, angelszn,

What kinds of fics do you like to write? Sam/Lucifer

AO3 Master List

Your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? A long multi chapter piece. I feel like I need to have it all done and ready to post together and not be working on something and just post pieces of it.

xPurdyGlambertx

Tumblr: @xpurdyglambertx (on all socials), including Discord and Wattpad

What is your SPN OTP? Too many - multishipper

Are you in any other fandoms? TWD, Stranger Things... those are the big ones

Pairings, genres, tropes, fic types: Ships and poly both, Mostly smut and angst

What kinds of fics do you like to write? Smut and angst, mostly oneshots but I'll pump out a multichaper fic every now and then!

Tumblr Master List

Your most underappreciated fic!

LucasBarr

Tumblr: @lucasbarr

AO3: Ophelia_Yvette

What is your SPN OTP? Dean/Cassie or Dean/Benny

Are you in any other fandoms? Mermaid Melody and Harry Potter!

What are you looking for in the Pond? fellow writers! People to talk about fic with and to help with fic writing (bc spelling is my nemesis lol)

Pairings, tropes, genres, fic types: Dean pairings for sure 😂 I am a multi shipper at heart tho so I enjoy a lot of pairings (besides like reader inserts). Found Family, Angst, Fluff, AU

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? Basically any spn fic writer who writes about his Amazon daughter Emma or any of the female characters of SPN 😂

What kinds of fics do you like to write? Ones about the kids of SPN like Jody’s girls, Kaia, the Freaks and Greeks gang, Ben, and Dean’s Amazon daughter Emma 😂

AO3 Master List

Your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? I want to get better at writing Sam and generally capturing the atmosphere of the early seasons in a fic (if that makes sense?)

Meryl1988

Tumblr: @meryl1988

AO3: Meryl1956

What is your SPN OTP? Well: I'm going to be honest here. You may feel free to kick me out Castiel/Dean. Sam/Dean. Love both equally.

Are you in any other fandoms? Starting 911

What are you looking for in the Pond? I am in complete awe of the wonderful writers of son fiction. If I can provide any support or good for thought, I would feel honored.

Pairings, genres, tropes, types of fic: Castiel/Dean. Sam/Dean. Castiel/Dean/Sam. Dean/Benny. Sam/Jessica. even though I am a total m/m reader. I love fics where she's alive and posseses a good personality. Every single one. I love stripper tropes, enemies to lovers, any AU with my boys. Hooker fiction. Poor/Privileged pairings. I also love Omega verse and Mpreg. Also RPF

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? This HARD! There are many but I will list a few @Felisblanco @Justinedelarge @friendofcarlotta On A03 Dollyluxe Nyxocity. Tumblr Flesflutter. Tumblr Hellhoundsprey Morgan Sunglasses Spn_kinksock Lukinha_jesus Compo67 taymarpigeon Applecrumbledore Ashtraytheif Castielslostwings Castiel_left_his_mark_on_me Amypond45 Rivkat Boydean Komodobits Naughtypastrychef Lovethemwinchesters Abs_cats Smackthedevil Chaotictrinity Anyrei. Queerwolf. Co authors Dmarie92

Sardonic-The-Writer

Tumblr: @sardonic-the-writer (and on AO3)

What is your SPN OTP? destiel, but i'm extremely partial to sabriel and crowstiel

Are you in any other fandoms? mainly spn right now, but i also love the umbrella academy and the gorillaz

What are you looking for in the Pond? mostly just to insert myself into the spn fandom space more, as well as find a safe space to share fanfics and stuff

Pairings, genres, types of fic, tropes: mostly reader inserts, but a solid ship fic of literally anyone is also good. pretty much anything genre wise, as long as i have a fun read. some of my favorite tropes would have to be friends to lovers, or just straight up a reader inserts where there's no romance and just them working a case alongside the guys. it appeals to me as an aroace guys

Do you have a favorite Fanfic writer? unsure, but i really enjoy gabriellives, The_White_Rabbit_42, and relic_amaranth's works all over on ao3

What kinds of fics do you like to write? reader inserts! mostly platonic, but i try romance sometimes. i also write a lot about my spn sona ezra (azrael) but that's mostly for me and the few people that know about him

Tumblr Master List

Your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? i haven't written a ton of ship content before, but i know that if i want to i will!

Codepend

Tumblr: @codepend

AO3: theknife

What is your SPN OTP? sam & dean

Are you in any other fandoms? good omens, hannibal

What are you looking for in the Pond? share my fanfics and make friends!

Pairings, genres, fic types, tropes: ships, angst, fluff, pining, unrequited

What kinds of fics do you like to write? one shots although I am working on larger projects

AO3 Master List

Your most underappreciated fic!

Is there something you have not written but would like to try? I find multi-chapter fics more overwhelming

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat @mrswhozeewhatsis @mariekoukie6661 @thoughtslikeaminefield and @heavenssexiestangel

[woodsfae]

Babylon 5 s02e18 Confessions and Lamentations s02 table of contents • previous episode

Lt Keffer has been looking for an unidentified ship he saw once in hyperspace. That's potentially deadly! The mystery of the shadows and the different threads all feel strung tightly. I always want to know more than they reveal.

A Markab ship is late/missing, and four Markab have died of natural causes on the station in the last few days. Interesting to have them be involved in two, simultaneous mysteries. Connected, I wonder?

Date night is levelling up! Delenn is reciprocating the human style date with a Minbari ritual dinner. Lennier hasn't slept in two days in order to ritually prepare it correctly, and now they must eat it ritually/

Terribly amusing that this is her date night. Like, is this super romantic to Minbari? Lennier cooked, is that normal romantic behavior, too? Too funny.

Markab ship found, but everyone on board is dead! The mystery deepens. Trying to figure out if it could be a life stage thing, or if not, then what else it could be.

Sheridan is gratefully free of the dinner invitation. Hoping, for Lennier that it isn't so labor intensive or require fasting for two days as he prepares it!

Ah, plague among the Markab. It's "100% terminal and 100% contagious," which is horrible, but it appears to only effect Markab? Recorded history, but also a legend and strange occurence that only happened once, a thousand years before.

I'm impressed they recognized it again so fast!

Bad govt pandemic planning and response for ratings, relevant in 2023. C'mon society.

Indeed, it is to be earnestly hoped that the disease can be studied and stopped, and that it isn't communicable to non-Markab.

Sounds a little like rapid-onset rabies, tbh. Pandemic lockdown and quarantine!

A terrible situation to have to manage. Large scale people management and crisis management is so not my thing.

Sheridan doesn't want to give Delenn permission to go into the isolation zone to help care for the self-isolated Markab, because she'll be at risk and he can't authorize her and Lennier to come out of it again till the crisis has passed.

"Don't look away, Captain. All life is transitory, a dream. We all come together in the same place, at the end of time. If I don't see you again here, I will see you in a little while, in the place where no shadows fall." "Delenn - when I do see you again... call me John?"

awww, it's so sweet.

Garibaldi-special fighting! The fight choreography is good, but Garibaldi fights with such a panache. It's entertaining every time. The Markab who aren't self isolating are having such a hard time. The quarantined ones' lack of privacy and general tension would be miserable, too.

Little history lesson on the black plague. I like how Dr Franklin says so confidently that it was in the 14th century, like it's a universally known measure of time and this Markab doctor would know earth's calendar.

Also sad times to be dying in a lab sealed in with a corpse of a patient you didn't save, and being studied as you die of the disease.

Using the least common sense possible while deciding how to look for a little Markab girl's mother. Lennier and Delenn are so intelligent and make the funniest decisions sometimes, anyway.

Dr Franklin used to hitchhike on starships. That's pretty cool. Dr Franklin has done some cool stuff in general.

The plague has officially jumped species!

It's dangerous business, being old friends with Dr Franklin. Almost everyone he knows that gets introduced in the show, dies. I rather feel like his father is the only person from his past who's been on the show and lived.

Dr Franklin has a breakthrough and a potential treatment! But it appears that the only living people inside the quarantine zone are Delenn and Lennier. That would be horrible! This has got to be as heartbreaking a conclusion of their earlier conversation there could be. I didn't think they were going to fail to discover a treatment in time to save any of the Markab! All known Markab everywhere are dead. Wow, they really did that!

Dang, they went to a dark as fuck place with the conclusion of this one! It was compelling! Another I think of as a little, self-contained horror story. Especially dark for Delenn and Lennier, and Dr Franklin. I hope Dr Franklin has his own therapist or at least some really good coping mechanisms, at least Delenn and Lennier have each other and highly ritualized Minbari life to help them cope.

Really, no one did it like B5. I'm so impressed by the storytelling and how well contained the episodes are while still advancing the overall plot.

"When I do see you again...call me John?"

I'm gonna fuckin cry!

what excellence lies ahead...!

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

WTTT cryptid/animal hcs cuz I'm bored. Also these might make absolutely ZERO sense whatsoever, but thats fine.

================================

New York:

Ive decided that his cryptid/animal form is a blue jay/cat hybrid. Why? Idk tbh. We as a fandom have decided that he is a cat in human form, and the blue-jay is apparently one of the most common birds in NY (and theyre pretty as hell-). I dont really have a good reason lmao. He has the wings of a blue jay (along with some feathers around his back/neck/torso) and cat ears and tail (tho his tail has feathers on it that spread out to look like a blue jay's tailfeathers.) and claws. Also his eyes are gold and his pupils are slits :3. His claws come out of the base of his fingernails, almost like Wolverine's. His speed and agility is increased quite a bit, he can climb even better, amd hear things that he wouldn't normally be able to hear.

Louisiana:

The little voices in my head have all come together and decided that he's a gator/wolf hybrid. Wolf cuz ✨Rougarou✨ and gator cuz why tf not. He has wolf ears and tail, and gator scales on his back/neck/forearms, as well as a bit of his torso. His eyes are a bright yellow and he has slit pupils like an alligator. His teeth can very from being all sharp, or just his canines. His strength, speed, stamina, swimming and hearing/smell abilities all are increased.

Texas:

I just do what the little voices in my head tell me to. He's a deer/northern mockingbird hybrid (cuz deer are the most widespread large mammal in Texas and his state bird is the northern mockingbird). He has antlers and deer hooves and tail, as well as mockingbird wings. His hearing, speed, and jumping abilities are all increased. He's also very alert and gets scared very easily (easier than usual, and he hates it). He definitely headbutts Alaska and California and others that he's able to (some of the taller states).

Massachusetts:

To be completely honest, I haven't though too much, but I'm thinking maybe a raccoon or a chickadee. Raccoon cuz hehe funny, and chickadee cuz the black-capped chickadee is his state bird. This might be one I have to think about more tbh.

Gov:

He's an eagle, no questions asked. I mean- for God's sake he's the closest thing we have to full personification of America, so yes. He has large eagle wings and bright yellow eyes with slit pupils. His legs from the knee down can either be like eagle's legs/talons, or they can be normal, and he has talons instead of fingernails. He has feathers along his neck/back and a long the sides of his face. His speed and strength are both increased.

Alaska:

Again, the little voices are telling me that he's a polar bear/moose hybrid. Pretty much most of him is par bear, as in he has white fur on most of him, he has the claws, and white bear ears and tail and the tips of his hair are white. The moose part of him is literally just a pair of moose antlers. And his strength is heavily increased (not that that was necessary-). He has 100% headbutted Texas back and sent him for a trip.

California:

He is ✨grizzly bear✨. It just makes sense. He has the bear ears, tail, and claws. And fur along his back, torso, neck, forearms, and legs. Also he's like 10x stronger (again, not necessary :') he's already buff enough) and has definitely thrown Texas a few times.

Nevada:

Big horned sheep. He has ram horns, the legs of a ram, and a tail. And he definitely headbutts people. For funsies.

Colorado:

Basically the same as Nevada. Also he gets the munchies cuz he's high 24/7 and eats literally anything. Chair? Munch. Plastic? Munch. Rock? M u n c h.

Florida:

That's not even a question lmao. He's an alligator. He has the yellow eyes and slit pupils, alligator scales on his arms/back/legs/neck. And he's a lot stronger and can swim faster.

New Jersey:

He is a demon/devil hybrid, no questions asked. He has elf-like ears, devil horns/tail/wings, bright red eyes, sharp teeth, and black patches all over his body.

Rhode Island:

Hehe. He's a raccoon cuz i said so. And nobody is changing my damn mind. He has the floofy tail and ears and claws and teeth. He is angy short raccoon :3

================================

[fallenrain40]

Hey! Ignore this if it's too personal or even if you just don't want to, but I've been wanting to ask for a while

What is it like being a therian? It seems like a really special but challenging experience, and I would love to hear your story if you're willing to share. What are some things you wish non-therians knew? What are some of your favorite and least favorite parts about it? How did you discover you were a therian?

Thanks, again sorry if it's too personal. I love your blog (especially your art). You're a very cool person, keep doing cool person things.

(Also R.I.P. to the sensory issues. I'm not autistic I don't think, but I have sensory issues also and it suuuuuuucckks. Good luck).

HI!! so, well, hm... it's hard to explain honestly it's just how I've always felt my whole life. Like imo, I didn't know the word therian existed back then, but I never felt human. Whenever I played games, I always played as an animal cause it felt right. And people always acted as wanting to be an animal was something all kids did and eventually grew out of, but I clearly did not. And it always felt like something bigger than just pretending. being human never felt like ME. I do know my body is human- (though some therians don't see there experience the same way as mine and I feel like they need to be respected a bit more), but human not who I am underneath that. my human body is so surface level and doesn't really tell you anything about who or what I am. I've always felt a large disconnect between my physical body and identity. When I found the word therian- which I discovered probabblyy when I was like 14?? (maybe younger idk my memory is wonderful /sarc) I didn't use it right away since I wasn't really sure I was allowed to- I kept that thought in my head of "well what if I grow out of this?" but as I got older I was like okay. I'm not growing out of this feeling (and even if I had turned out to be wrong, it wouldn't be as big of a deal as my mind was making out of it lol). funny enough that's also how I felt about being ace for a while, since I suspected that since I was 12. both things were something I knew deep down I would always be, a core part of who I am, but felt nervous about actually using those labels just in case. and then got older and was like oh wow this isn't changing, ig i was right LOL. though I'm still not out irl cause my mom sucks and won't even accept my sister being bi smh. but online I'm very open about it haha. I also thought I was just a wolf for a while which, turned out I was actually a coyote. though, I am a poly therian so I have multiple types, I still somewhat identify as a wolf but it's just? not in the same way I am a coyote. a lot of the things that didn't add up as a wolf make SO MUCH SENSE as a coyote, it's silly I didn't figure it out earlier on (some specific things were having a shorter coat, bigger ears, smaller size, omnivorous, more likely to hunt alone, hunts by stealth, ect).

to those who aren't therians- I guess I just wish they were more accepting of what they can't understand. I've seen a lot of "ew therian cringe" on other platforms and it's extremely annoying, how people just instantly jump to look down on something they don't know anything about. I also wish they knew the therian experience can be VERY DIFFERENT from depending on who you talk to. and they're all equally valid. basically like- if you've met 1 therian, you've met 1 therian. not all of them. ANYWAYS SORRY THIS WAS VERY LONG, TY FOR THE ASK, YOU SEEM VERY COOL TOO!! /GEN tbh i was going to write MORE but ohmygosh im gonna write a whole book at this point HGHFCHVJ (and yeah sensory issues are so very mean. its annoying how some days they r chill and i'm like "hm maybe i dont have them that bad-" AND THEN BAM IF THE AIR IS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT I WILL CRY LOL)

[tamelee]

Hi Nonee, if I’m not mistaken, these all come from the same person as it is partly in response to >this< (?). In case it’s not, I separated them. 

No, I think you misunderstood a few things.

I said I didn’t expect to find good female representation/empowerment in a story like Naruto. (Or frankly, Shonen in general.) That finding that in media overall (especially lately) is already a struggle, meaning I TOO want them to exist (more). And that a character can inspire me, which has everything to do with the story and the quality of the characters, not their gender. I disagree with the notion there that you’d have to share someone’s gender to be able to relate about something. Sure, it depends on what it is, but then that's very gender-specific. I already said it was a broad subject, hence why I kept it specific. Saying what all men do or think about something is a very large generalization, same for dudebro’s with Sakura/Hinata. It doesn’t help anyone tbh and it has nothing to do with my own view on it. There are plenty of people whom aren’t female, that share our desire for better female characters and they are found easily if you wanted to. People who criticize such characters BECAUSE of the desire for better. Look at a few dudebro’s reacting to ‘Naruto’ the anime and you’ll realize that most start hating on Sakura for example not because of reasons you stated, but because she did/said something unhinged which simply makes her unlikable and certainly don’t want her together with their fav. And in my own personal experiences, it were especially the female viewers (even among friends) who kept excusing unlikable behavior until it became impossible. So, it really depends. Even the women that criticize Sakura/Hinata online get labeled as misogynists when we both know that isn’t true. That doesn’t mean that there might be a few who are. How is that different for men? And with that, personal bias about how they should be represented will always exist as that’s just a normal human thing.

You say you were like me once and then had this realization where you chose to become strict about female characters as it is only fair since “they” (men) are strict about female characters too. Is it then really your personal view or is it only based on what you think others believe? Just because a character can inspire me, doesn’t mean that I’m not strict about female representation in media, especially when it claims it has just that. You can have both if you want and it has nothing to do with “them”, or anyone else tbh. I think that’s just being fair to yourself and how you feel about something.

2. Ehh, I don’t really agree with you on Misa there.. I already shared my points about Kishimoto, but Shonen Jump editors often want stories to include elements to structure a story in a way that can bring them the most success. They know what their readers like to read and guide a lot of the (new) Mangaka through those ideas for a story with characters that are better translated to such a targeted audience. You can read plenty of books about it or find other resources if you were interested in Manga. I think, saying that everything in it represents how a Mangaka feels about something is very much a stretch. It is often about an author to spread a message and challenge the truth of that in their fictional world through different kind of characters. It isn’t for nothing that even Kishimoto had to fight them about things he wanted.

3. ... sounds to me like you really didn’t get it at all. I have a feeling I know exactly what kind of posts you’ve been reading and from which kinds of blogs to come up with these conclusions :’) Read the Manga (again). 4. Sasuke gets hated on for plenty of dumb reasons, but it is mostly because some have little understanding for his situation which leads them to blame him for lashing out, instead criticizing the characters that are the cause for not just his own trauma, but also the source of most hatred within their world. Something that just became worse throughout their history and Sasuke desperately wanted to change. They don’t see Sasuke is hurting because he rarely shows it in order to reach his goals. It isn’t just anger, he’s in pain. Hm, well, even his own fans don't really acknowledge his internal conflicts tbh, seeing him exactly as the character people hate him for :’) It’s so contradicting. Even though Kishimoto showed Sasuke symbolizing certain feminine energies, I don’t think that is the main reason why he gets hate.

[crossdressingdeath]

wren--bee Saaaame. :( I wonder if how she is about elven history and lore in DAI was a holdover from when there was only going to be a human protagonist? Which would be a different version of “yikes” but, especially with Solas around maybe it could have been addressed. I’m not the biggest fan of returning characters unless there’s a really good reason tbh (and “some fans want it” isn’t one imo) but if I made a list of characters I actively don’t want to see again Morrigan would be high on the list.

Fingers crossed it is just a holdover and she'll be better in DAV, but like... I don't trust it.

Personally I'm all for returning characters as cameos. Seeing Zevran, Nathaniel and Alistair in DA2 is delightful, and King Alistair in DAI is fine (leaving out the way they bleached him and also him still acting like a child in the text of the war table mission he shows up even though he's thirty years old and has been king for over a decade). I also really like the Serault war table chain if you've finished TLC, Marquis de Serault my beloved. Even the carryover companions are fine, the games have for the most part managed the balance of giving them enough attention to be worthwhile as returning companions without letting them overshadow the rest of the cast (I'm also really looking forward to companion Harding, it'll be interesting to see how they manage a secondary character making the jump to companion) although I'm still mad about Anders not caring about Warden-related stuff (what gives, Anders, I thought you loved me). I really want to see characters like Dorian, Merrill and Fenris make an appearance in DAV given it revolves around places and topics that they would play into nicely. My issue is when the returning characters overshadow the main cast of the game. DAI is absolutely terrible about this. Two of your advisors are returning characters along with the usual carryover companion! Multiple quests revolve around the presence of returning characters! There's a quest that's largely just the game going "look how smart Morrigan is" instead of letting your elven expert and (potentially) Quiz themself talk about their people's history! Hell, the emotional climax of HLtA centres on the question of which returning character you love more! And DAV featuring Morrigan so heavily in the release date trailer and making such a big deal about her presence has me worried that it might be going the same way, especially after so much of the pre-reveal trailer marketing revolved around LOOK VARRIC AND SOLAS ARE HERE AGAIN. Bioware please, please keep the returning characters to minimum plot presence... you have such a promising new cast, I want this game to be about them, not The Returning Character Show Plus Sidekicks... We've seen more of Morrigan's dialogue than most of the companions, this is not a good sign!

Not gonna lie, I am... not happy to see Morrigan again (I could've sworn Claudia Black confirmed she wasn't in DA4 ages ago? Guess that was a fucking lie). Like, I hate her in DAI. She's awful, she just talks down to the elves about things that she doesn't actually seem to understand (see how Quiz immediately understands the Well better than her just by looking at it if they have the arcane knowledge perk) and takes a role that was much better suited to certain elven blood mage established eluvian experts I could mention. I really, really didn't want to see her again. I will hold on to some cautious optimism that Bioware's learned something in the past decade and will handle her better and this does mean there'll probably be Well-related shenanigans (let's be real, without the Well Morrigan's place in this story is well (heh) and truly gone now that we have the Dread Wolf himself on speed dial), but like... why. The fact that she's so prominent in the trailer feels like a bad sign also.

[hallowedblock07]

Messiah

Were I to sit at the back of a church, 

A whole pew to myself, my thoughts, and I,

Could I look at the cross at the front of the room

And know that is where the Messiah was left to die?

His sacrifice is a faint memory

From immortals and Gods of old,

No one nowadays truly knows

The exact words he spoke, the stories he told.

The Bible is written by Believers,

By those worshipping everything he was,

Or, everything he could have been for them;

A holy innocent caught in avarice-soaked claws.

Their names were written and recorded,

Millions named after the twelve.

Jesus could have been arrogant and proud,

But that’s in a past into which we can never delve.

So, Messiah and Lord,

Who watches us from his Fathers side,

Were you pious and pure or hubristic and loved?

Why did you end up on that cross where you died?

[quackiseok]

— strawberry kisses

feral boys x gn! reader || headcanon

genre : fluff

warnings : swearing

summary : their reaction to you giving them a kiss on the cheek for the first time!

a/n : hi hi! this is my first fic, i hope you like it 🥺 and i'm so sorry if there's any mistake, i'll try fixing them asap!

song to listen to while reading :

; DREAM

this man right here is VERY careful with you

always asking for consent before any physical contact with you (consent is always the key!)

he was so happy when you said that you were fine with cuddles and hugs with him! be ready for tight back hugs from him 'cause he loves putting his head on the crook of your neck >:)

but kisses... you were a bit shy about it since you were new to this type of relationship and you wanted to learn a bit first,

you told him about wanting to take things slowly and get used to it first, and of course he understands! dream will 100% respect your boundaries

he will wait patiently until you're comfortable enough with him because he loves you so much and he wants you to see him as a safe, comfort place :)

then one day when the two of you were baking cookies for valentines day, dream jokingly asked you to kiss him on the cheek as a thank you for helping you with the cookies

i mean, it's almost valentines anyways. a small, innocent kiss wouldn't hurt right? ö

you just giggled and gently leaned your face closer to his cheek, your fingers softly bringing his chin closer to you

you gently placed a kiss on his cheek, then quickly turning away from him with a wide smile

congratulations, you have successfully broke dream

man would be frozen on the place for a full minute, trying to process what just happened and is this real or not (because if it's not real he'd cry on the floor)

expect him to cling on you and not letting you go for the next few hours, calling you with sweet names like baby, hun, etc. for no reason and just be all lovey dovey with you ♡

he would secretly mark the date on his phone's calendar just for this special day where you kissed him for the first time HHAHSJDKSKD

if you were comfortable, he would offer you a kiss on your cheek to return the favor 🥺

and if you said yes, AAAAAAAA he would be so fucking happy, his serotonin level would just go through the roof like 📈📈

and ofc, he would happily give you a sweet kiss on your cheek! ( ˙ᵕ˙ )♡

; GEORGE

george is definitely very shy with you at first

he's VERY careful around you and treat you with so much care 🥺

( but once the two of you have gotten pretty used to each other, you guys bully each other 24/7 💀💀 (jokingly ofc!) )

at first, you thought george didn't like physical affections like kisses, hugs, etc.

boy you were wrong

this cat boy secretly LOVES physical affections from you, but he just hides it from you! and of couse, you love giving them to him too :)

but you were a little bit shy about kisses, and same goes to him. two shy cuties !!

if he was being honest : he wants to squish your cheeks and shower you with kisses, but he respects your boundaries and will wait until you're ready to take a step further! (( and he's really shy, he would also need time to get the courage to do it :D ))

then one day george has just finished recording for minecraft manhunt and boy, that block game can actually make you tired

the moment he's done with the recording, he immediately rushed to the bed and plop himself next to you

you would ask him things like how did the recording went, etc. and he'll answer you while letting you play with his soft hair 🥺

george was feeling a little playful, so he joked and asked you to give him a kiss on the cheek to recharge his energy

you looked at him with your cheeks slightly reddened. george has been working hard lately anyways, he deserves a gift, right?

you slowly bought your face closer to his cheek and planted a quick kiss on his cheek before looking away then melt into a puddle

georgenotfound who? i only know georgenotworking

his eyes would be widened, face red, and he would just sit there with his palm on the cheek where you planted the kiss on

it's been 3 minutes and his face is still red, huge grin on his face while hugging you tightly

he won't even try to hide the fact that he loves being affectionate with you anymore

it's the first time george has ever been clingy with you and you're living for it tbh 🥺

he'd ask you if you want a kiss too, in such a shy manner like "i can... give you... a kiss too... if you want... 👉👈"

if you say yes ? MMMMMMMMMM the two of you melt into a puddle together <33

he'll give you a quick but sweet kiss on your cheek with his face redder than before (,,．．„ )

; SAPNAP

man seems like he would fight you no matter what size you are

but in reality? sapnap's the sweetest and the clingiest (in a positive way, ofc!) man you've ever been with and you're so into this

he LOVES being affectionate and clingy with you, in fact he does it all the time. it's just how he is with you :)

he also LOVES giving you affection. he doesn't care about who's giving and who's receiving tbh, he just loves being around you in general 👉👈

you love his affection and giving him affection too, of course!! but you were a bit shy since this was your first romantic relationship with someone and kissing was a new thing to you

sapnap would tease you for being so shy around him, endlessly flirting with you just to see you all flustered, because in his eyes? you're so fucking adorable and that's a fact. ♡

despite him being all playful and flirty with you, he respects your boundaries and will 100% wait until you're ready!

of course he wants kiss you right on the spot but he can wait patiently, just for you <3

then one day, he was playfully flirting with you as usual

and he jokingly said "hey y/n, i think i deserve a kiss on the cheek for being cute!" well, you couldn't disagree with what he just said 👀

so you put on a large grin and placed a kiss on his cheek, immediately turning red afterwards

sapnap's the new pogchamp emote now

he would be so surprised and just turn into a ball of absolute joy

he'd immediately scoop you closer to him, hugging you tightly while giggling and just— shower you with lots of love 🥺

and trust me, he won't let go of you unless it's emergency or if you were uncomfortable

but if you were fine with it? this man will hold you like his life depends on it

he would also give you kisses on your cheek / the top of your head if you were comfortable enough :)

and if you did allowed him to kiss you? he'll immediately shower you with kisses and calling you his in between the kisses, like "you're mine, mine, mine" 👉👈

; QUACKITY

alex, he's such a flirty mf 😳

endlessly teasing you and flirting with you just to see you being flustered, just like sapnap

he'd call you with sweet spanish nicknames like mi amor, hermosa, etc. and you find them cute, honestly 🥺

he's really clingy with you (in a good way!) and always hugs you whenever he sees you. it's almost like an instinct to him when he sees you :) but you don't mind since you're living for his warm hugs and cuddles ♡

he LOVES the way you melt under his hugs, and honestly? he wants to cover your whole face with kisses but he knew you were new into dating and want to take things slowly, so he respects your boundaries! :))

one day, he was in a discord call with his friends and they were endlessly teasing him; which leads him to fake crying as a joke and asked you to give him a kiss on the cheek to make him stop crying

man, alex is so fucking adorable and you thought that he deserves a reward for being such a cutie

so you giggled and moved closer to him, slightly bending down to get to his level and placed a kiss on his cheek before turning away with a large grin on your face.

you know that one time karl jokingly leaned in to kiss alex? yeah, he has the exact same expression now

this man would stare blankly at you, his cheeks slightly red but then a few seconds later he's screaming in absolute joy

his friends would be so confused, asking him if he was alright but instead of answering them, he mutes the call and immediately clings his arms around your neck

"mi amor, you should do that more often if you're okay with it ;)"

100% endlessly flirting with you while hugging you tightly, melting you into a puddle ( bonus point if you knew spanish, cause he'd say cheesy pick up lines in spanish for you ;) )

and just like sapnap, he'd shower you with sweet kisses on your face if you were fine with it!

and if you were okay with him kissing you? man... you know that one vine where a kid is crying because of how cute her puppy is? yeah that's alex quackity @ your existence

he'd just be so happy and shower you with kisses, praising you, telling you how adorable you are, and telling you that you're his and he loves you so fucking much 🥺

; KARLJACOBS

karl jacobs is the definition of wholesome itself

he's literally the sweetest human being you've ever met, you can almost taste cotton candies when you're with him

he's really affectionate and loving towards you, always praising you whenever he's hugging you and holding you close to him! and of course, we can't forget the sweet nicknames he have for you. he just loves giving you so much affection, and you're in for it! 🥺

don't forget his playful side too! he would always joke around with you and maybe be flirty when he's feeling extra playful :) he can go from sending you wholesome memes to weird cursed images, no in between

but you were a little bit shy since you were new in this type of relationship. you told karl that you wanted to learn more first before jumping into more romantic gestures, including kisses.

of course this boy would go "okay! :)" and shower you with gestures you're comfortable with instead (hugs, cuddles, etc.) he wants you to feel comfortable around him, so he respects your boundaries! ♡

then one day when the two of you were cuddling on the couch while watching adventure time, karl jokingly asked what if you gave him a kiss on the cheek like marceline did to bubblegum

and you thought karl has been so sweet with you this whole time. you gotta return the favor to him, right?

so you just displayed a shy smile, leaning closer to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek before you slowly melt in his arms

his eyes widened and he just wants to scream the way puppycat did

he'd immediately bring you closer to his body and mutter out uncountable i love you's, calling you perfect, sweet, etc. just praising you and being all giggly with you. of course he would be so giggly, you just gave him a kiss!!! 🥺👉👈

he would LOVE to return the favor to you, if you're fine with it!

and if you said yes? places such a sweet kiss on your face and just admire you with his starry eyes 🥺

JNNGGHHH SO MUCH SEROTONIN THIS RELATIONSHIP IS JUST 50% WHOLESOME AND 50% WHOLESOME BUT IN RED

[jadequeen88]

Accidental Valentine

◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈

This is my fic for The Citrus Dome Server Lover’s Day Literature Collab! Please go check out The Masterlist and support all of the amazing artists and writers that have contributed.🖤

A/N: WHEW guys... I don’t think I’ve put this much work into a fic EVER. I’ve been feeling pretty bad about my body and wanted to write a reader who struggled with it as well. Who better to boost your confidence than DILF Kiri feeding your praise kink?! I was heavily influenced by this amazing drabble by @rat-suki​ and got permission to use it as my inspiration for this fic.🖤 (for reference, reader is 30 and Kirishima is 42)

Thanks to @afictionalwhore and my dear friend Orchid for the beta read!🖤

RetiredProHero!Kirishima x YoungerF!Reader

Word Count: 5.3k

TW: size difference, oral (both receiving), daddy kink, praise kink (lots and lots of praise), TBH the sex is pretty vanilla but very passionate, both are insecure about their bodies.

When you trudged into work this morning, you didn’t ever dream of meeting your childhood idol/crush, but here you are, staring up at a beautiful mountain of a man. Eijiro Kirishima, or retired pro hero Red Riot, had never come into your coffee shop before and you’d never imagined he would. He was huge. Nearly 7 ft tall and built like a brick house. His hair was back to his natural black with flecks of silver at his temples and hung long and wild around his shoulders. He had on a pair of glasses and wore a dark maroon sweater and jeans.

Even though he’s aged, he looks just as handsome as the young man you fell for as a girl.

The year he made his debut, you were only six, and like most other six-year-olds, you idolized the pro heroes. Most of your friends loved Deku or Dynamite, but you always loved Red Riot. His smile, warmth, and his fiercely protective nature made your tiny heart burst with admiration. Throughout his hero career, you kept up with all of his interviews, the battles he’d been in, the awards he’d won, and his hero rankings. You’d also gotten as much merch as possible over the years and still wore your worn-out, oversized Red Riot t-shirt to sleep in. When he retired a couple of years ago, you still scanned articles online trying to gather bits and pieces of information about the hero, but he wasn’t one to seek out the spotlight. You think that’s probably why he’d always been your favorite. He was a true hero. Serving the citizens and keeping them safe was his top priority. You didn’t want to admit it, but you kept up with him for one main reason… You wanted to know if he was seeing anyone.

You remember being eaten up with jealousy when you’d see his arm around another woman going to galas and award ceremonies. Your sixteen-year-old brain knew that of course, he’d date women. He was a grown man and a pro hero. But your heart would ache, wanting to be the one his soft eyes and pointy-toothed grin was fixed on.

Now those same eyes were fixed on you, his mouth moving and forming words, but you were too star-struck to hear what he was saying. When you snapped out of your daze and remembered you were supposed to be taking his order, you were mortified.

“I-I’m so sorry sir! Could you please repeat that?”

“Sure thing!” his bright smile was hypnotizing, “Just a venti-sized flat white. Have you had your coffee yet? Ya looked a little far away there for a second, kid.”

Your heart leaped at the little nickname. “Yeah, sorry about that! I guess I should get a couple of shots of espresso in me before I try to be productive.” You chuckle nervously as you scribble his order on the cup and turn to make his drink.

“Oh, uhh…” he peeks around the counter to get your attention, “Do you need my name? For the order?”

You freeze realizing you forgot basic, barista 101 etiquette…

“Actually,” you face him, a sheepish grin on your face, avoiding eye contact, “I know your name. You… umm, were my favorite hero,” you blush, and your eyes widen in embarrassment, “you know when I was a kid...”

You turn back to your work, kicking yourself for being so awkward. 

“Really? I think you’re the first person to recognize me since ya know,” he circled his head with his pointer finger, “I stopped dying my hair..”

You turned your head to peer up at him through your dark lashes, a light dusting of blush still on your cheeks, “Well, I like it. It looks good on you.”

The retired pro’s heart was bursting at how damned cute you were. Was this pretty, young girl… embarrassed? Over him?! He watched your tiny hands move as they worked on his drink order, wondering how small they’d feel grasped in his massive ones. Your soft hair caught in the sunlight making you look like a literal angel and he sighed. You reached up to grab a canister from the top shelf and a sliver of soft skin between your t-shirt and jeans peeked through. His gaze became far away and he damn near drooled at the sight. Just how long had it been since he’d touched another woman? Kirishima wasn’t one for casual flings. He always got too invested in whoever he was seeing. So when he and his long-time girlfriend broke things off a couple of years ago, he wasn’t rushing back into the dating scene.

However, things were a little more… complicated than just not finding the right girl to commit to. He was getting older and it was starting to show. Over the past few years, he’d lost his confidence. He’s bulkier around the middle no matter what workouts or diets he tries. Overuse of his quirk has caused stretchmarks and scars all over his skin. He was starting to get crow’s feet and he was overall just TOO big and TOO hairy. He felt like some sort of gorilla walking around in human clothing. Kirishima isn’t stupid or trying to fool himself. A young, gorgeous thing like you wasn’t looking for anything from an old, washed-up man like him. But, fuck… It was nearly impossible for him to move his gaze away from your ass… Oh, the things he’d do to you if he were a few years younger...

You turned to look over your shoulder and notice his gaze… and it’s apparent that he’s checking you out. He looks like a man starved, eyes glued to your ass.

“Well, well, well… maybe he wasn’t so annoyed with my fangirling after all.”

When he realized you’d gone still, his eyes met yours and he quickly averted his gaze. His cheeks turned as red as his hair used to be. You busied yourself with the milk steamer to hide your big, goofy grin. With a new burst of confidence, you decide to take a chance and when you go to write his name on his to-go cup, you write

 “Big Red <3” 

You pause, bite your lip, and think to yourself, “why the hell not?” as you scribble your number underneath the nickname. You turn to give him his drink and your nerves almost make you retreat and make a whole new drink. Then he meets your gaze and your world stops spinning. His vermillion eyes crinkle at the edges as his scared lips turn upwards into a syrupy sweet smile.

When Kirishima takes his drink from you, your fingers brush his for the briefest second and he can tell they’re trembling. “Oh no, I hope I haven’t made her nervous or uncomfortable.” He wanted to go crawl in a hole… That was until he saw what you’d written on his cup.

He stammers, looking from the cup to your face like he’s checking to see if you’re pulling a prank on him or not. Before he can say anything, you bite your lip and look up at him. 

“I’m off work this Sunday. Just… if you’d like to hang out or something.” your gaze shifts and you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. 

After a moment or two, his face lights up in a huge grin. “Y-yeah, great!” he turns and walks a few steps, then turns around and motions at the cup, “So… I should just, ahh… text you?”

You giggle and it’s the sweetest sound he’s heard in a long time, “That would be nice, yeah.”

“Okay, great!... Talk later then!” He waves and leaves the coffee shop, feeling light as a feather and ten years younger.

*****

Sunday rolls around and you spend the morning making sure the place is cleaner than it’s been in weeks. Your place was small but cozy. For a fleeting moment, you’re a little insecure about how modest your apartment is. You don’t know exactly how wealthy pros are when they retire, but you know he’s more familiar with much nicer places than yours. You decide he probably knew just what to expect on a barista’s salary and tried to put it out of your mind. You checked on the cookies baking in the oven. When you found out through your text conversations that he loved chocolate chip cookies with the large chunks of dark chocolate baked in, you went out and bought everything to make them the same day. You kept watching over them like a hawk to avoid burning them. They still looked pretty gooey, so you decided it would be safe to get changed into something a little nicer. Just as you were about to turn the corner into your bedroom, your doorbell rang.

“Shit!” you looked at your phone and sure enough, you let time get away from you. He was here and you were still in your cropped leggings and t-shirt, sporting a messy bun and dirty apron. You groaned as you realized you couldn’t leave him on your doorstep while you changed. Defeated, you hurried to the door.

You opened the door, hoping that you at least didn’t have flour in your hair, and looked up into the much larger man’s eyes. The realization that THE Red Riot was standing this close to you made your stomach flutter and a goofy grin slide across your face. While you stood there star-struck, he broke the silence.

“Wow, it smells amazing in here!”

“Oh!” you jumped a little then promptly ran over to your oven, “Sorry! Please come on in!” you said over your shoulder as you were pulling your oven mitts on. 

Kirishima walked into your cozy apartment and instantly felt at ease. He couldn’t pinpoint just what it was, but something about your place felt more like home than any place he’d ever lived before. As he finished scanning your apartment, his eyes landed on you taking the cookies out of the oven. The comfortable, domestic feel of the place coupled with your ass on full display as you bent down to remove the cookies from the oven had his jeans tightening. You stood up and he averted his gaze before you turned around, not wanting to get caught checking your ass out for a second time.

“Fair warning, I’m not a talented baker by any means,” you removed your oven mitts after placing the cookie sheets on the cooling rack and flashed a sly grin his way, “But when Red Riot tells you what his favorite cookies are… Ya kinda gotta make them, right?”

Oh… If you only knew how pent up this man was… he debated bending you over right then and there and fucking you until you couldn’t walk. He really hit the jackpot with you… a hot, younger woman with the perfect ass who bakes him cookies and for some reason thinks he hung the moon? Kirishima would have given you a ring right then and there if he didn’t think it would scare you off.

“Well,” he radiated warmth as he looked between you and the cookies cooling on the rack, “If you’re not the sweetest thing! I, ahh… might have gotten you a little something too.” he then held up a 6 pack of your favorite cider. “Because when Y/N, L/N tells you what her favorite cider is… Ya kinda gotta get her some.” he winked and you felt your knees buckle and your cheeks burn. You felt like you were in a fairytale.

Then you remembered that the princesses in fairytales definitely did not wear flour-riddled black leggings, old t-shirts, and dirty aprons.

“OH! Umm, I need to go get cleaned up. I’ll only be a minu-” his massive hand wrapped around your wrist as you walked past him. It covered half of your forearm and a shudder ran through you. You wanted those giant hands to roam every inch of your body.

“Please don’t,” his eyes were half-lidded and his voice was low, “...I think you look beautiful like this.” his calloused thumb traced little circles on your skin not meeting your gaze. His deep voice was impossibly tender.

Now that you’d felt his skin on yours, you couldn’t contain your churning desires any longer. You wanted, needed, more. Rising up on your tiptoes, you curled your fist into Kirishima’s shirt collar and pulled his face toward yours.

You felt him tense up for a moment, then relax into the kiss. His massive hands found purchase on your hips, digging into the pliant flesh there. A needy whimper caught in his throat spurring you on to deepen the kiss. 

It was like your bodies were working around each other in perfect harmony… lips parting at a slow pace, like honey dripping from the edge of a spoon and tongues meeting in the middle to taste each other. You both savored the kiss for as long as you could, eyes lazily drifting open and shared breaths causing your hearts to dance out of your chests. 

You saw him falter, his gaze dropping, and you feared that you overstepped. 

“Kirishima I-“

“Ejiro,” he stopped you with a hand against your cheek, “Call me Eijiro…” his thumb caressed your bottom lip slowly, back and forth. His touch held so much devotion in it.

“Eijiro…” you sighed, looking up at him with pleading eyes, “I need you…”

The giant of a man before you swept you up into his arms and began walking down your hallway. You quickly wrapped your arms and legs around his hulking frame as if you were climbing a tree. 

“Second door on the right,” you were panting into his neck, leaving sloppy kisses all over it. 

You blew a cool stream of air along his damp skin and felt him shudder. A giggle bubbled up from your chest at being able to weaken a retired pro-hero known for being a human shield against the worst villains Japan has ever known. Your little stunt resulted in a grunt and a firm, warning squeeze to your thigh.

“So that’s what we’re doing today, huh?” he tosses you on the bed just hard enough to make you bounce up a little… then he’s on you, placing light kisses all along your neck as he prods your sides looking for a ticklish spot. You can’t remember the last time you laughed this hard and the fact that it was your idol drawing it from you made you dizzy with joy.

“Mercy! Mercy!” you were breathless and your abdomen ached from the forceful laughs Ejiro was pulling from you. He blew a raspberry on your neck as a final tease then relented, sitting up to meet your gaze.

You were absolutely smitten. You caressed the lines around his eyes and the scar that split his lips as your eyes roamed across his features. Every crease, every scar… you wanted to kiss them all. When his gaze faltered and he pulled away to sit beside you on the bed, the feeling you’d done something wrong resurfaced. You sat up beside him and placed your hand on his thigh.

“Eijiro…” your voice was barely above a whisper, “I’m sorry, I know I can come on a little strong sometimes, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just…” your eyes meet and his gaze is unreadable.

“No, no…” his ruby eyes drop to the floor, “It’s just that,” he chuckles nervously, “Well, it’s been a while. I’m not very good with casual flings and the like. So I don’t really date much…”

You rise to your feet and move to stand in front of him. Sitting in front of you on your bed, you’re only slightly below eye level with him. You place your tiny hands on his thick thighs and nudge them apart so you can slot your hips between them.

“When I told you that you were my favorite hero,” you reach for his wrist and remove the hair tie from it, “What that actually meant was that I’d watch the news every day just to make sure you were safe.” 

Slender fingers move through his wild mane of silver-flecked hair untangling any knots, “It meant that when that villain with the sludge quirk put you in the hospital for a couple of days, my mom let me stay home from school because I was so distraught,” you pulled all of his untangled hair to the nape of his neck and began wrapping the hair tie around it.

“It meant that my silly sixteen-year-old heart would ache when I saw you hand in hand with a girl in a magazine going out on a date,” you grinned at how silly you felt admitting that. Once his hair was secured in a low ponytail, your hands trailed along his broad shoulders.

“Now that I’ve thoroughly embarrassed myself, I’ll get to the point.” your intense gaze held years of longing for the hero in front of you, “Nothing about this is casual for me.”

Tears pricked the corners of Kirishima’s eyes. Had anyone ever showed him this much tender devotion? All the years he’d taken beating after beating, a glorified human shield, content with leaving most of the game to his friends. He was all rough edges and bulk. He was the one doing the protecting every time. Even in his romantic relationships, he was the one who would give, and give, and give… never asking or expecting to be taken care of. Being handled with such care was utterly foreign to him and it stirred up a deep need he never knew was there.

“Eji…” his glassy eyes met yours, “Can I take care of you?” you sank to your knees, hands sliding up his thighs.

“Please…”

Your hands made quick work of his button and zipper. He shifted his hips upwards to help you ease his jeans down his thick thighs and you pulled his jeans and boxers down in one slow pull. Nothing would have prepared you for just how huge he was. Your eyes widened for a fraction of a second, wondering how you’d get that thing to fit inside your cunt, much less your mouth… but it was something you were eager to find out.

Looking up at him from under your dark lashes, you made a show of lewdly licking your lips. You flattened your tongue and drug the wet muscle from his base right above his neatly trimmed patch of black hair, all the way to the swollen, red tip of his head. You felt the powerful muscles in his thighs clench as his head rolled back and a delicious moan escaped his open mouth. Making your hero come undone with one lick to his cock was intoxicating. 

“Fuck, baby…” Kirishima fisted the sheets praying he wouldn’t come just from your teasing. He’s not sure his pride could handle it. It became a very real threat when he dared to look down at you kissing and licking all up and down his length. Once your mouth had gotten him wet enough, your soft hands joined your warm mouth in worshiping his cock. You met his gaze as you kissed his tip and licked up the pre that was escaping in pearlescent beads. When you had teased him to your contentment, you swallowed him down as deep as your throat would allow, wrapped your hand around his base, and moaned.

Kirishima had many blowjobs in his life. In fact, he’d had some that he would say were pretty amazing… but in all his adult life, he’d never been so thoroughly and enthusiastically devoured like this. He threaded his fingers of one hand in your loose bun and fisted your bed sheets in his other to ground himself. After a minute or two, he felt his release creeping up much faster than he wanted.

He placed his hands on either side of your face causing you to stop bobbing your head and look up at him. He ran his thumb against your swollen bottom lip and you leaned into his tender touch. He bends forward and places a kiss on the top of your head.

“Lay down on the bed,” he whispers into your hair. Nerves starting to catch up to you, you shook slightly as you stood from your spot on the floor. Before you lay down, you remember to take your apron off then lay on your pillows, heart pounding awaiting further instruction.

Kirishima hovers over you reminding you yet again just how tiny you are compared to him. His warm hand covers your knee and slowly travels up your thigh, stopping right before he meets your throbbing core. He runs his hand back down your thigh to gently nudge your knees apart. Leaning on his forearms, he positions himself between your thighs and you gasp at the friction created where your bodies meet. While planting tender kisses on your neck, he whispers, “I need you to promise that you’ll tell me if I need to stop or if something doesn’t feel okay. Can you do that?”

“Y-yes…” you moan as he nibbles on your earlobe, teasing with his sharp teeth but not breaking your skin.

“Mmm,” he places sweet kisses all along your jaw, your breath catching in your throat, “Good girl.”

Receiving praise from him made your chest swell. You wanted nothing more than to please this man you were rapidly falling for. He sat up, legs folded under his body, and slowly slid his hands under the hem of your oversized t-shirt. You felt his hands still on your stomach and looked up from where you were laying on your pillows to see what had made him freeze.

He met your gaze with a devilish grin, “Baby girl…” his thumbs run small circles on your skin, “Did you wear this for me?” 

When you realize what he’s talking about, you hide your face and groan into your hands. You completely forgot that you were still in your old Red Riot t-shirt that you usually slept in. “Oh my god, this is so embarrassing!” you mumbled behind your palms.

Kirishima chuckled and shushed you, “No, no, no… This is the sexiest thing you could have possibly worn.” He pulls the hem of your t-shirt up to expose your tummy, burying his face in the soft skin there. Gentle kisses were placed all along the waistline of your leggings, every squishy part and every little stretchmark that decorated your skin like tiny spiderwebs were lovingly caressed with his plush lips. Having the part of your body you were the most self-conscious of worshiped like this felt more vulnerable than sex.

As the kisses traveled higher, they became sloppier and more desperate. You lifted your arms to allow him to remove your shirt, exposing your plain white cotton bra. The feel of his stubble against your skin as he moaned into your cleavage sent shivers down your body. Instead of paying attention to your neglected nipples, his warm mouth carved a path up the column of your throat, head thrown back to give him as much access as possible.

Kirishima whispered against the tender skin under your earlobe, “This okay, baby?” two large fingers dip into the front of your leggings. You nod enthusiastically, unable to form a coherent answer, “Mmm… I need words, sweet thing. You can do that for me, can’t you?”

“Yes… it’s more than okay,” your chests are touching as he works his hand down the front of your pants.

When Kirishima’s thick fingers slid between your drenched folds, you arched your back and grasped his forearm. Slowly, he spread your slick around, dancing past your clit with each stroke. His teasing was turning you into a whimpering mess underneath him. 

He had all the time in the world and having you melt underneath his touch was the best way he could hope to spend it. After what felt like an eternity of him gently brushing against you, only slightly dipping into your needy hole and barely grazing your clit, you were openly panting and whining. A steady stream of praises flowed from his lips.

“You’re such a pretty girl… such a pretty little pussy.”

“Look at how wet you are for me. Like this, huh? My pretty girl likes my fingers teasing her?”

“I can’t wait to lick my fingers clean. You’re gonna taste so sweet.”

You were so worked up that tears began to form in your eyes, “Eji… I-“

“Hmm? What is it, baby girl? Need something?” His finger drags around your clit slowly, adding a fraction more pressure. 

“Please, I need more Eji,” your nails digging into his forearm were leaving little crescents in his thick skin.

“Sweet girl,” he meets your mouth with a slow, wet kiss, “you can have whatever you want.”

Without hesitation, he sits up and pulls your leggings down with your panties. A groan rattles his large chest when he sees a thread of your slick attached to the crotch. Once his face is buried in between your thighs, it’s a real possibility he might come just from eating you out. 

All the teasing had brought him to the edge as well and he was out of patience. With a few hurried kisses to each thigh, he dove into your dripping cleft. His tongue plunged into your core as he nudged his nose into your puffy clit. 

You cry out and convulse around his face. His arms wrap around your thighs, firmly but gently holding your legs open to give him full access to eat you as thoroughly as possible. When he moves to suck your clit, you know you won’t last much longer. As he nurses on your sensitive nub, you feel the familiar tightening in your lower body. He picks up on this and moans into your skin as he greedily sucks. 

“Ahh… Ahh, I’m- I’m gonna….”

“Oh that’s it,” he encourages you by praising you and massaging your thighs in his massive hands, “let me have it, baby girl. Come on, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

Your toes curl and back arches as you’re thrown over the edge. “Oh FUCK!! Coming, coming…. ooooh god… ahh D-daddy!…”

“Daddy, is it? Goddamn”

Kirishima felt his dick twitch and his breath caught in his throat.

He wipes his face on the back of his hands and makes a show of licking his fingers clean as he leans over you, nose touching yours.

“What was that baby?” His voice was strained as he pressed his dick into the warm, damp skin of your thigh…

You bat your lashes and ghost your lips over his as you whisper, “Daddy… please let me ride you. I need you inside me.” The nail in Kirishima’s coffin was when you licked his bottom lip then quickly followed with a chaste kiss.

You waste no time wrapping your thighs around his waist and twisting. He follows your lead and lays flat on his back letting you straddle him. You grab the hem of his shirt and similarly tease him, leaving a trail of kisses along his broad stomach. Kirishima flinches a little, self-conscious of his skin and how soft his middle had gotten over the years. You meet his eyes as you pull his shirt over his broad shoulders and run your hands back down his body. 

“Mmm, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” hands and eyes roamed over the expanse of skin in front of you, “It’s even better than in my dreams.”

He wondered for the hundredth time how got this lucky. You really loved his body? Maybe… maybe he wasn’t in as bad of shape as he thought…

“No,” his hands rubbed your hips, kneading your soft skin, “You’re better than I’d ever hoped to find.” He sits upon the headboard and pulls you closer into his lap, “Now,” he pulls your hair free of the messy bun, “Can you be a good girl and come on my cock?”

You lift your hips and place his tip at your entrance. That alone caused a delicious stretch and you knew it would be a slow process getting him to fit comfortably.

“Yes, Daddy,” your hands wrapped around his neck and he growled as he pulled you into a rough kiss.

“Good fuckin girl.” 

He helped lower you onto his cock with lots of kisses, praises, and gentle squeezes. When you got closer to his base, the pain was too much for a moment. Kirishima used his thumb to rub circles into your clit, shushing you sweetly against your parted mouth. 

“Are you okay, baby?” He brushes your hair off your sweaty forehead with his free hand while his other is still working your clit over.

“Yes, Daddy,” you whisper, “You fill me up so well. I love your massive cock filling me up.”

“You’re gonna make me crazy, you know that? Huh?” He pulls your lower lip into his mouth and sucks. You both sit for a while, exchanging kisses and whispers while you adjust to his girth.

“Are you ready to move now, sweet girl?” 

“Yes, Daddy…” he helps you move, dragging your hips up and down his shaft.

After a few deep thrusts, you both increase your pace, matching each other’s movements. It’s not long before your head is thrown back, tears escaping the corners of your eyes. Loud moans and curses escape your mouth as one nipple is pulled into Kirishima’s mouth.

“Oh, Daddy! Fuck, fuck! Right there, right there… I… I’m… AHH!” Before you can even say anything, you’ve come undone, spasming around his cock. 

“Oh, good girl, good fuckin girl,” you go limp and bury your face into his neck while he slams your hips onto his, chasing his release. The feeling of him using your body to get off makes you dizzy with joy. You lean into his ear whispering, “Please come inside me. Wanna feel you come inside me, Daddy… please, need your come inside me, Daddy.” 

Your slurred pleas against his ear send him over the edge into a mind-numbing orgasm. As he comes down from his high and looks into your face full of adoration, he knows he’s caught… hook, line, and sinker. 

*****

The rest of the evening is spent eating cookies on your couch, drinking cider, and watching your favorite crime drama. The sweet kisses and touches sprinkled throughout the night feel so natural… Like you’ve been together for years instead of hours. 

You end up with Kirishima’s head in your lap, running your fingers through his hair as he closes his eyes and relaxes into your touch. The clock on your wall reads 12:30 am and it dawns on you what day it officially is.

“Eji?”

“Hmm?” He opens one eye and reaches up to scratch your scalp. 

“Will you be my valentine?” You bite your bottom lip to stifle a silly grin.

He sits up and pulls you into a bear hug. 

“What kinda silly question is that? Of course. I don’t ever want another valentine besides you.”

Your heart explodes and you kiss him, grabbing his cheeks in both hands. 

“Sixteen-year-old me is absolutely losing her shit right now,” you giggle, rubbing his nose with yours.

“Well,” he grabs your ass and raises an eyebrow, “Forty-two-year-old me is losing his shit right now over finding such a sweet girl with such a sweet ass on her,” he nips at your neck and you squeal.

“Ooh, you ready for another round, old man?”

He growls and throws you over his shoulder. A swift spank to your ass causes you to burst into a fit of laughter. 

“Oh, so I’m dealing with a brat now? You want me to show you what this old man does to little brats?” He squeezes your thighs as he makes his way to the bedroom. 

“But I’m your good girl! Remember?!”

“Yeah, yeah… We’ll see about that.”

[yonemurishiroku]

Ok got OP's permission so today's essay is about Percico and the shipping culture again.

Before I jump into the Answer tho, please just remember that to dislike a ship is, in fact, absolutely normal and totally justified even when there's no reason at all. You don't need reasons to love and sure you don't need reason to feel repulsive at st. It's just feelings that every human has, so there's that.

On to the matter at hand. I'm doing this because I'm weirdly interested in how Percico (and other... less favorable ships) are perceived in this fandom, along with their influence. This is science (as much as I want it to be...) and I'm really trying to be subjective so please don't think I'm defending this or dissing any other ship bc srsly I'm too old for that. 😭

Anw. I don't have any outlive yet, so Imma borrow OP's tags instead.

Tl;dr: the (fictional) dynamic isn't healthy but sometimes it's what get people hooked.

Their unhealthy relationship.

This is actually very simple. When it comes to fiction, your consumption doesn't necessarily always have to be healthy. Of course, it also depends largely on people's tastes, which is also another way of saying that a number of people feel completely fine, and/or are interested in unhealthy dynamics in unrealistic scenarios.

This has been an ongoing discourse among the fandoms for a long time. I suppose it makes sense that someone who's used to healthy, humane, tame content would consider more problematic dynamics absurd. However, sometimes people do find intriguing, fascinating facets in the forbidden, toxic situations. It's the curiosity rather than a need for positivity (and even less of moral) that propels us to indulge in the unethical, specifically (and allowed only) in fiction, those that we probably would run away from at first sight in real life. (And it's because it's fiction, so it does no harm! 🤗)

In fact, the complicated relationship and messed-up history between Nico and Percy is the exact reason why I find them compelling. I like the angst, the unhealthiness of it all, the unique taste that sets them apart from other exemplary relationships in the series.

It's a type of catharsis, I believe. Sometimes you'd like a little tension here and there, just for the thrill of it.

The age-gap.

I actually am in no position to talk about this because ngl, I reckon my comprehension of age in fiction is different from others. You ask another Percico shipper then chances are they would tell you that Nico's age is messed up; Frazel's or Caleo's age gap is actually somewhat the same, with which the canon is fine; 3 years might not be that big of a problem.

I, myself, just straight-up don't care. I have seen worse in other types of fictional content and tbh I see no problem. But yeah this can be a trigger to others, I understand.

Percy's attitude towards Nico.

This should also be grouped into their dynamics in general, yeah? I do admit Percy and Nico don't have the best relationship (friendship-wise or whatever) in canon. However, it's just like I have explained above - sometimes one doesn't see it as a problem, other times it's the exact reason why one engages with it in the first place. It's all about preferences. You find their canon materials an obstacle, another would find it an inspiration.

Hell, Wuthering Heights is so messed up in terms of character relationship chart but that doesn't stop it from becoming a classic piece of literature, which the readers enjoy just fine.

Or another example: the villain x hero trope that has somehow wormed its way into many fandoms at once. Clearly, they don't have the best interactions in terms of intimacy, or even affability, for that matter. And yet, it persists despite the abundant hostility.

On the other hand? The canon doesn't always dictate everything. The official materials are the roots of inspiration, regardless, what's born from it isn't in the hands of the author but rather those of the audience (aka: fans, shippers. etc...). (Well unless you forbid transformative works altogether, but I digress lol). Anw, I'm talking fanfics, or fan content in general, whose Percies and Nicos might or might not be the same as you've come to know, and the story is completely a world away from the canon events.

There, Nico might not never have deceived Percy, Percy might never have strangled Nico, they could have talked it out, Bianca never died, they could just be regular high schoolers, they could be friends and then many more. Nico got his happy ending, and everyone's as happy as a childhood dream.

Believe it or not, Percico has one of the sweetest, most wholesome and most beautiful Domestic Family Fic I have ever read in PJO AO3. In it, Nico deserves better and he does get it, as the writer successfully constructed a scenario in which happiness is possible in their union.

Surely it wouldn't make it to the official materials. But again, it doesn't need to. And that is the point. Sometimes, one finds joy in the peculiarity, and it's the drought that makes the rain so precious.

Looking at it in a different way - it might be the compassion for Nico that gets us into Percico in the first place.

Think of it this way - Nico's crush on Percy brought him many struggles, yet it was also shown, through many sacrifices made and a painful confession, that it meant a lot to Nico; hence, as a fan's act of adoration for Nico himself, one wishes for another ending in which he could achieve that love. So they come up with many scenarios, twists, and turns in which the crush comes to fruition. And naturally, it grows into what we call "shipping."

It's just as simple as that.

That's everything I got to say I think. It should be clear that I cannot speak for the Percico nation since I'm not as ominiscient as I'd like to be lmao. Tho I hope this does give, if anything, some insight into another corner of the shipping community. 🥺🤗

percico is the only tag i have blocked on tumblr. i don't even know why i hate it so much but it makes me physically ill to think about. someone please explain the appeal of this ship i do not understand at all

[doberbutts]

HOWEVER things that I’ve seen complaints about that seem silly and I’m not touching the racism currently because I’ve been harping on it for like a week now.

Galadriel jumping out of the boat and swimming back across what is effectively the Atlantic ocean seems silly until you remember she crossed the Helcaraxe on foot and that’s basically an ice bridge across said Atlantic ocean. Like yeah my first thought was “girl you are in open water tf you gunna do now without a boat” but at the same time like. She’s been in worse situations and made it out tbh. Elves are made of tough stuff and we see this even with the power of the elves waning by the time of LOTR with Legolas being mostly unbothered by various events along the fellowship’s journey that left others exhausted. And he’s not even Noldor like Galadriel.

Speaking of elf clans idk where Celeborn is and thus where Celebrian is but personally I didn’t view her interactions with Elrond as flirting? Old friends, friends who know each other hideously well (esp if you consider Elrond can see the future and Galadriel can read minds I’m sure they’re going for the “finish each other’s sentences on an eerie level” type of relationship). Also they canonically get along really well especially once Elrond and Celebrian get hitched in the Third Age so it’s not like she ever really voiced dislike of him either- she even lives in Rivendell for a long time before settling down with the hubby in Lothlorien. Their relationship isn’t yet that of what it was by LOTR but also they’re missing a huge amount of personal and political events that happened in the like 5000+ years inbetween hold your horses.

Galadriel IS proud, she is described as being incredibly proud and strong and fierce several times. Boromir specifically says he and most of Gondor fear her. He dislikes the time he spends in Lothlorien because he’s afraid of her powers and because the elf/human relationship has always been very strained. Humans don’t like elves and are largely intimidated by or resentful of them outside of a spare few. Elves find humans to be beneath them. This is established over and over. Legolas plays nice with Aragorn but fires back at multiple high-ranking humans. Galadriel’s company had a less than warm welcome for the fellowship despite knowing who they were and liking a few members of their crew. This is established Tolkien lore where distrust between humans and elves was furthered by Morgoth and Sauron, but not invented by them. Elves have always been fairly elitist and there’s even passages about elves hunting dwarves for sport, elves deliberately screwing dwarves out of fair deals, elves making enemies with human kingdoms just because, etc. Galadriel hovering between proud and actively hostile when talking to humans or even elves she views as beneath her is just peak Noldor behavior in complete honesty. She was nice to the fellowship after letting her men threaten to kill them a few times.

AND this “she was never a warrior” thing is BS. She participated in the kinslayings. She was known for her strong magic. She was nicknamed “man-maiden” because she was so tomboyish. It’s absolutely ridiculous to have read all of that and think she can only be what she was shown to be in the PJ movies, at a mere fraction of her power and might, compared to when she was actively involved in the politics of the world instead of hanging out in a treehouse with her husband.

AND she was always obsessive about Sauron, refusing to trust him even when he was at his most “no don’t hurt me I’m a totally trustworthy guy just a poor little meowmeow” and alerting everyone to watch out for him even when they laughed her off. That’s not an Amazon invention, that’s just a Galadriel thing.

And this weird “I can’t believe Harfoots just leave people behind if they get injured/lost” look idk what to tell you, that’s nomadic life when you’re little and everything wants to kill you. Do your best to stay together but you will be left behind and we will not look for you if we get separated. Hobbits in general are distrusting of the world of the Big Folk and they’re literally like 3 feet tall with the exception of very few, meaning even a large dog running loose could easily hurt or kill them. We saw in the very first episode that straying too far from the others can lead to wolves and other unsavory things killing you, we know for a fact that even thousands of years later in the Shire it’s just expected that if you leave the Shire something will pick you off. Hell, just remember that Bilbo’s relatives had just basically shrugged and assumed he was dead and started taking his stuff because he took too long coming back from his adventure. That’s established lore my dudes.

People complaining that the elves look middle aged also look really silly when Hugo Weaving didn’t exactly look young in the role of Elrond and neither did Marton Csokas or Craig Parker. Yes, Celebrimbor’s actor does have a lot of lines and wrinkles on his face and yes, it makes him look older. But that’s also just his face, because looking at younger photos of him he still has sunken eyes, a prominent brow, and lines on his face. At some point y’all have to decide if you care more about traditional beauty standards for men or accepting that some people’s faces just look like that. Same with Elrond’s actor, yeah his jaw juts out a bit and he also has a strong brow, and that’s also just what his face looks like, either accept that real people do indeed have some variations in facial structure and that shouldn’t affect their ability to portray beautiful characters, or admit that you’re more addicted to traditional, eurocentric beauty standards than you’re willing to let on.

Costuming’s fine. Some little details will annoy longtime fans (hello why are non-Feanorians wearing the Feanorian star just because they’re elves) but will be completely missed by newcomers. It’s less detailed in some aspects than the PJ movies which is a shame because of the huge production budget but I wouldn’t say anything looks like plastic or cardboard or like it came out of a Spirit Halloween. Same with the CG- there’s yucky bits here and there with the CG but overall it’s been better than the Hobbit movies, which I know is a low bar but people are taking PJ as gospel right now. Accents is a valid complaint but lbr it’s largely lost on an American audience and most of us have needed to have it pointed out to us, don’t lie. And don’t act like that’s not coming direct from the source either- y’all loved the PJ movies and they’re guilty of the same thing.

The dialogue complaint is weird to me because it’s largely accepted within universe that elves speak solely in allegory and riddle (Bilbo directly says this to Elrond in PJ’s Hobbit trilogy in an extended scene) and so Finrod deciding that he’s going to sound smart by saying stones look downwards or whatever is, again, peak Noldor behavior. Elves just do that. Wizards do too, we just haven’t met any [official] wizards yet [tbh I think the Stranger is a wizard, idk just which one yet because any could fit the current description], or do we not remember Aragorn’s “there goes Gandalf talking in riddles yet again” and Frodo’s “for a dude pretending to be A Regular Guy, you use a lot of doublespeak”? It’s Tolkien, of course there’s going to be allegory and riddle where there didn’t need to be, that’s like 80% of the prophecies and misunderstandings in the books guys. The Hobbits and dwarves stand out because they’re the only people who speak plainly, and they’re largely regarded as rude for doing so.

And Rs get rolled sorry. Orlando Bloom’s Legolas was doing the same shit (”a Balrrrrrrog of Morrrrrrrrgoth”), it’s just that he’s a singular elf the story’s not technically about and thus you don’t notice it as much because it’s just him. Now that we’re surrounded by elves and two of our main characters are elves, you’re gunna hear it all the time.

ALSO it’s super bizarre to me that people are on one hand complaining that it’s not like the PJ movies enough, but then on the other hand are complaining when things are very similar to the PJ movies saying they “ripped off” PJ’s vision. Well which one is it? Are you unhappy that it’s not like the PJ adaptions or are you unhappy that it holds some similarities? I get that y’all wanted PJ to help with this but honestly there were complaints about the PJ movies too that y’all are just pretending didn’t exist.

ALSOOOOO I keep seeing people complain that the orcs aren’t supposed to be like vampires wrt the sun??? Uh. Again, did we read the same books? Orcs can’t move in the open in sunlight, it hurts them and burns their flesh. Not on-fire-turn-to-ash vampire lore “burns their flesh” but it’s absolutely a thing that orcs cannot spend long amounts of time in the sun and literally that’s why A: Mordor has a permanent dark cloud of ash and dust over its sky to allow the orcs and goblins and everything else to move freely even in the daytime and B: Saruman and Sauron bred Uruks from orcs to create a larger, stronger, more intelligent, orcish creature that could move in daylight because it was easier to use them by the time of LOTR. There’s a lot of suggestion that Uruks are crossbred orcs (aka super fucked up elves) and humans (mostly of the enemy bad-guys-only POC-dominant races) though there’s some argument over that. Either way, yeah orcs are supposed to flee at sunrise and it’s supposed to hurt them to be out in broad daylight. Multiple times as the climax of LOTR swells people express surprise that orcs are moving in huge packs and in broad daylight, because this is not normal orcish behavior.

ANNNNND the warg is supposed to look really fucked up, same as orcs. They’re not really new living creatures but fucked up versions of already existing creatures. Orcs are fucked up elves. Wargs are fucked up wolves. Balrogs are fucked up wizards. Dragons are fucked up eagles. And so on. The forces of evil could not create new life, only corrupt what already existed. So the warg having a really fucked up face and that includes the really inbred chihuahua look? Yeah they’re not supposed to look like Wolves But Bigger, they’re supposed to look like really fucked up wolfish creatures. Again, for everyone saying “read the Silmarillion”, it really feels like y’all haven’t read it with some of these complaints.

[randomnameless]

As renisfan said, Dimitri doesn't think Flayn sounds suspicious at all in their A+ support. And tbh, if Flayn married a Blue Lion, and if Seteth married Ingrid, then I can easily see both Flayn and Seteth revealing the truth about their history to their partner. Which in turn might lead to the Blue Lions knowing as a whole. And if you believe CF Rhea told Dimitri the truth, then surely the same is true for AG Dimitri eventually since AG is just CF from the perspective of Faerghus instead.

Mmh -

I still think there's a difference between Dimitri knowing and accepting his future wife sleeps a lot and will survive him - without understanding what it really means - and Dimitri knowing Flayn is a Nabatean, meaning her blood and bones can be used to craft weapons and some people are out there wanting to harvest her.

As you said, we can all see them trusting the BL gang with their secret, because the BL gang, unlike some other people, aren't the kind of characters to ostracise people based on the shape of their ears, at least when they're not OOC or warped by plot powers like what happens in Tru Piss if they join Supreme Leader.

But to make that jump?

CF and AG are still different on one crucial/capital point though :

Flamey!

Flamey didn't already sort of revealed what Nabatean Bones and Crest Stones can do (tfw no Baldo or Waldi acknowledged by the plot in Nopes), so in a way, in FE16, Flamey was the one who started to reveal "the truth", as her acolytes also kidnapped Flayn for her blood.

Given how Nopes erased Supreme Leader's fondness for Pointy Ears and Baldo and Waldi don't exist, no one knows what are Crest Stones bar the shiny jewels on relics.

In other words, FE16's events suggest to the world that humans exist, and other "beings" of certain power - even if the game tries its hardest to ignore it, or to prevent people from reacting to that knowledge, bar Supreme Leader and Hubert.

In Nopes? We know there are humans, and mole people, that's it.

CF!Dimitri might have seen Rhea turn in the IO in Garreg Mach, to protect the Monastery, and would have of course received a lot of "information campaign" deriding her as a inhuman and cruel beast. Coupled with the demonic beasts popping up, he's already in the mindset of "learning" that some people looking like people aren't... human (and he is okay with it!).

In Nopes, bar the rumour about a large white beast (I thought the IO was a known figure!!), telling him that giant dragons exist who can also turn into humans would maybe be taken as a joke "haha and you tell me Flayn is a fierce beast? Please.".

As for Rhea...

As explained above, Flamey opened the barn in FE16, Rhea is really really desperate in Tru Piss because Billy/Sothis turns against her, and she's again betrayed by a Hresvelg. She's being called inhuman and a "beast" by opposing forces, and had to witness people using, again, remains of her own kin as weapons, to the point of crafting new ones (Waldi!) and even capturing her niece.

So while Rhea's trust issues would be exceptionally low - Dimitri, with the knowledge from the past year, who also got his own share of "information campaign" might accept her and her kin too - especially if people already know (Manu and Bernie comment about it iirc?) she is not-human (a lot of people saw her in Garreg Mach?) - all of her secrets (the biggest of them at least) are already found out.

So there is no need to hide anything anymore.

---

But yep, if Dimitri or any of the Lions know anything about the Nabateans, they will share with the rest of their friends because they are trustworthy, and I really like the parallel it creates to the first Adrestia - Nabateans trusted a bunch of humans who were worthy of said trust and never betrayed them...

Only to be betrayed by their descendants, 1000 years later.

I can see Flayn choosing to trust anew, and Seteth too, if Flayn does it, but Rhea? Without the extreme circumstances from Tru Piss, I can't see her do it, or maybe she finally does post AM, when she's chillaxing in Zanado (since she already doesn't value her life, it's better to come clean to the new King who unknowingly helped her, even if, in True Rhea fashion, she'd omit mentioning Seteth'n'Flayn in her "I'm not a human" speech. Hilarity ensues if Flayn already revealed the secret though, Dimitri being all "I already know about your ears, Flayn showed me hers!" which would be very serious business because showing ears to a human is akin to holding his hand). To be fair, AM!mural ending with a sort of cloth on Aredbhar could also mean Dimitri tries to put "it" to rest?

Ultimately I think it's a question or trust, can Nabateans trust the BL? Yes they can. Would they trust them? Flayn would without doubts, Seteth - who already spent 20 years pretending to be a human and hiding his true self - might do it too.

Rhea? She'd need a lot of external circumstances.

Maybe she would, post AG after the Monastery is retaken since she seems to admire/respect/love Dimitri but given how Zahras!Dimitri exists, she's setting herself up to be disappointed, again.

Fodlan KT sequel : Saviour King Dimitri's descendant, 1100 years after the events of AM/AG, starts a war against the Church of Seiros because Dimitri's sekrit history told his descendants that the Archbishop is not a human and eats babies for breakfast, and controls humans.

AU where everything is well that ends well : AG!Dimitri breaks his weapon while training and goes to find a lady in a lake who will give him a new sword (Flayn told him to go to that lake, but she didn't mention the lady part, Sylvain did), but it's actually a giant turtle, who makes fun of his ponytail and transforms in a human (!!!).

Since he gave him news of his "beloved niece" the turtle-man accepts to forge a new weapon, asking him if he also wants a "white sword" because Rhea kept on pestering him back then to make a "white sword" - Dimitri is shocked, Flayn is this turtle-man's niece and he knows Lady Rhea?

Lured by the smell of Zanado fruits on his hands (Dimitri tried to peel one for Rhea during their teatime sessions, while she brought him tea) he joins the party and sells everything out, since this man appears to be "Cethleann's friend", how he made a lot of swords for his siblings and their friends back then, how Macuil - that brat - took his credit, but he isn't like Cichol, he just finds it amusing - did you know he ranted three days and three nights about the shield Rhea borrowed? - and how he could make some for he and his friends too, aren't they fighting against Adrestia - it'll be a good occasion to make fun of Rhea, who kept on bragging about Wilhelm being her friend and how she trusted him a lot whenever Cichol said something - but in return they'll have to stop using their relics, because those things are dangerous and, anyways, it's better to put their siblings to rest.

Indech crafts B!Dimitri's lance for him, while Rhea's mortified, he just spelt out 1000 years of craftfully intricate "secrets" in one day?? "If your secrets were crafted like your crown, they would have been discovered sooner than later, sister."

Cue the BL realising what their Relics are, reacting to the plot and the Nabateans, feeling like dirt until Rhea tells them that children shouldn't be responsible for the sins of their parents, and asking them to forgive her for lying - the game shifting from "uwu war bad but can't we walk with her" to "let's stop this nonsense, and find the culprits who erased your world and try to do the same with ours"

Dimitri'd reply to Clout in Zahras with something closer to "shut up", like how he lived amongst them and saw none of what Clout is preaching, also he trusts them and trusting each other is the first step to create peace, thus, Zahras!Dimitri is erased from the plot.

the end

[violettelueur]

GOJO SATORU + GETO SUGURU || NEVER MEANT TO BE

| featuring : gojo satoru and geto suguru from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : mentions of murder, manga spoilers and grammar errors

| form : imagine

| word count : 1704

| published : 15 November 

| request : hellloooo i hope this doesnt sound confusing but tbh im just requesting this since no one requested sum from the manga. how about something like reader arriving at the train station as gojo gets trapped in the prison realm in around chapter 90-91? like shes a shaman and she see geto and has a flashback cuz gojo her and geto were like past buddies? and to think someone could bind gojo?

| barista’s notes : for the people that haven’t read the manga, I would recommend you reading it first before reading this imagine because it has some MAJOR spoilers and I dont think you’ll understand it either way ʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃ but defo read it if you haven't, it’s amazing! but moving on from that i hope that you love your order of a cup of black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request)!

Rushing down the stairs of Tokyo Metro, you were trying to get to floor B5F where Gojo was last noted before you heard about the information that he was somehow sealed. With the help of the three other groups that were around the area, you were able to get through the shields that surrounded Shibuya to get to where you needed to be.

You were exhausted. Not physically but mentally as you didn’t know what to expect at all. The second you heard of Gojo’s report on curses forming alliances with each other, you thought he was just bluffing at first and to be honest, his ridiculous drawing wasn't helping with his case either. However, he was someone that you knew you could trust extremely, it had always been like that since both of you became students at Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College.

With your katana hanging from the side of your hip, you quickly jumped to the bottom on the stairs to save precious time before quickly turning the right corner to see what was the whole situation. However, once your hand was on the handle of your sword, your eyes widened in shock from what was right in front of you. 

‘Isn’t he supposed to be dead? That's not him is it?’

What was in your sights now was something that was technically impossible. He was supposed to be dead, there was no way he was alive sitting on the station floor. There were no such possibilities for him to be sitting with his back turned to you right now.

Geto Suguru.

                                                 ꕥ

You, Gojo, Geto and Ieiri were standing in front of the now-destroyed house due to Gojo using his technique to free both Utahime and Mei Mei from the house that they have been investigating for the two past days. 

“Don’t you think that was a little too much Gojo,” you commented with an awkward giggle as you saw tiny to large pieces falling to the ground, leading to your second-year friend saying, “I don’t think it was too much Y/N-chan, besides how could I have impressed you if I didn't take the opportunity to?”

“I shouldn’t have asked part one...” you quickly muttered, before Gojo started to tease Utahime, who was in the middle of the rubble that was created by your flirtatious friend himself.

“Satoru, it’s not nice to pick on the weak,” Geto suddenly commented, before using one of his spirits to devour the curse that suddenly appeared behind Utahime, only for Gojo to state, “who the heck’s gonna pick on someone strong? You’re the one teasing her without even knowing it Geto,” causing your other friend to now to realise what he had said. 

No longer being able to handle both of them, you quickly turned your attention to Utahime and asked, “Utahime, are you okay?”. This small but kind gesture of yours caused the grade-two jujutsu sorcerer, to say your name with such glee before you continued with, “we were worried about you since you didn't call for two days” to which only led the woman to pull you into a tight hug.

‘I shouldn’t have asked part two….I’m legit getting no air’

“Y/N don’t you dare become trash like those two, okay?”

“I’ll try my best”

However, this happy and hilarious moment had to sudden halt when Mei Mei suddenly asked, “where’s the curtain?” causing you, Gojo, Geto and Ieiri to look at her with dumbfounded expressions on your faces.

‘Ahhhhhh shi-’

                                              ꕥ

“There’s someone here who said they put up a curtain and then up and left the auxiliary manager behind and forgot about the curtain too”

At this moment and time, all four of you were on your knees in front of your sensei Masamichi Yaga, as he found out from the news that was shown on the TV above that someone *cough*Gojo*cough* forgot to put up a curtain up like him and Mei Mei stated.

“Fess up”

“Sensei! We’re better than pointing fingers at each other,” Gojo randomly commented, as he raised his hand up to emphasise his point. On the other hand, you, Geto and Ieiri had other plans and all pointed at Gojo for this mishap that had occurred without him realising.

“So it’s you!” your teacher shouted, before landing a strong punch on top of your friend’s head, causing you to know to never mess with your teacher anytime soon. 

Even though it wasn’t the best time, you and Geto let out a sly giggle before looking at each other, which only led to both of you laughing, even more, the second you stepped out of the room. As chaotic all four of you were, you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

However, it was never meant to be.

                                               ꕥ

“Hey!”

Turning to your right, you saw your friend Geto wave at you with a bright smile on his face. To the outsider, it just seemed like two friends meeting with each other or friends that just casually bumped into each other in the crowded streets. On the other hand, it wasn’t that.

Geto was a criminal on the run. You were just informed by your teacher that your friend massacred a whole village as well as the possibilities of his parents. You didn’t want to believe it. Of course, you couldn’t believe it. Geto wasn’t that type of person, he wasn’t like that at all during your time at Jujutsu high together, were the three years a facade?

“Yo, it’s the criminal” you teasingly greeted him, trying to hide your dejection from his view, “you need something from me?”

“I guess I’m just testing my luck” Geto replied back before taking a stand next to you. From your side perspective, you could see what Gojo was talking about a while back. Your longtime friend looks thinner than he did a year ago, you could clearly see the bags in his eyes indicating that he hadn’t had any sleep the past few days. It was like that ever since the killing of the Star Plasma Vessel, a mission that you, Gojo and Geto failed at.

“I’m gonna ask just to be sure, but are those false charges?” you quietly asked, hoping that all this was a lie, a stupid cruel prank that was set up by someone. However, you knew somewhere in your heart that this was the reality that you were in, there was no escaping from this one.

“Nah, unfortunately not”

“Again to be sure, why?” you quietly questioned him, trying to conceal the tears that were threatening to flow down your face.

“I’ll create a world where only shamans exist,” Geto calmly answered, causing you to snap your head in his direction. A world where only shamans exist? What more stupid of a reason he could give you?

“That’s hilarious,” you stated, before you slowly carried on with, “if humans were eliminated, we shamans wouldn’t even have a purpose at all, your reasoning is the most stupid thing I ever heard in my life Geto,”

Geto turned to look at you, only to find you casually open your phone to call Gojo on your sightings on your friend.

“However, I hope that you’re happy now that you're choosing this path. I really hope you get what I’m saying and you don’t live to regret,” you stated, as you place your device next to your ear. “I hope you're happy in the end my friend, that’s all I’m asking for,” you ended your statement before Gojo was on the other side of the line.

“Thank you Y/N”

“Gojo, I met Geto in Shinjuku”

“Did you question him? Did you kill him?”

“I didn’t…...have the heart to Gojo, I’m sorry”

There was nothing but silence between the both of you which gave you the chance to look to your right, only to see that your friend had disappeared from your side. As if he wasn’t there in the first place.

“Hey Gojo...it was never meant to be ha?” you rhetorically asked, as a single tear slowly slid down your face.

                                              ꕥ

Geto Suguru was right there in front of you. Sitting on the ground on the train station with his back turned to you.

However, as much as you wanted to believe that it was true, you knew that it wasn’t really him.

It was just impossible.

Taking your katana out of its black wooden sheath, you were preparing for any attacks that could happen around you right now before you could begin to question who the person in front of you was.

“Who are you?”

The man turned around, slowly showing the face of a man that was someone that was close to both you and Gojo all those years back causing you to look at the person that was in front of you with sorrowful eyes. You wished it was him. But as you said, it was never meant to be.

“Y/N! I'm not surprised that you were able to get through all those shields, you are powerful like Satoru after all,” the man happily commented with the same smile that you missed so dearly.

“I said who are you?!” you repeated in a firmer tone, telling the person that you weren’t playing around anymore as you raised your katana, making the sharp pointed tip to be in level with his face - even if he was far in distance.

“Come on, is that how you greet an old friend?”

“How the hell did you get the Prison Realm within your possession?” you asked, as you looked down at the small cube that Gojo was supposedly in. How such a small thing was able to seal such a powerful shaman like Gojo? You would never know.

“Y/N, we were in the same team for three years, I would assume you know I’m able to get what I need, I am Geto after all,”

“Shut up!” you shouted, surprising the person from your sudden outburst. “I’m not stupid, so don’t you dare play with me for even a second”

“I know you’re not Geto”

“Me and Gojo knew that from the start”

“It wasn’t meant to be”

[rivetgoth]

Yes!! Being a GNC trans man doesn’t = not passing. I hope it’s ok to rant about this for a bit lol I never get to talk about it. I came to realise a long time ago that when truscum/transmed/whatever they’re calling themselves now talked about “passing as men” they didn’t just mean passing as men, they meant “passing as the most boring cishet men with the most toxic masculinity ever” lol. I lurked on a lot of transmed accounts and they were telling trans kids that any kind of “feminine” fashion would make them not pass as guys.. like nail polish, colored hair, eyeliner etc. I was like do y’all not know emo cis men exist? Goth cis men exist? I just gave up trying to convince them that you could be GNC and still “pass as cis”/pass as a man if you wanted to. It does really make me sad that so many trans kids are holding themselves back. But I think seeing GNC men who are so unapologetic helps

Yeahhh it sucks I feel like a lot of trans guy spaces really end up pushing this idea that being trans means “transitioning into the most boring generic normie looking guy imaginable” and it’s just so crazy cuz plenty of cis dudes do not match up to the crazy strict standards that trans men impose on themselves and each other. I find it sad TBH cuz it definitely creates a cycle of self hate and repression, it’s really not a surprise that a lot of trans guys end up regurgitating just straight up incel rhetoric sayin shit about how a “real man would never XYZ.” I almost feel bad for them cuz like, I do get the fact that dysphoria and social pressure is really difficult to navigate, but fostering a culture where it’s praised and encouraged to sacrifice any sense of self in the name of passing just like… sucks.

I think there is a LOT of layers of this too, like the fact that many trans male spaces online IME are largely dominated by pre-everything guys or guys who are early into transition who are looking for passing advice and stuff, and realistically it IS hard if not impossible to be GNC and pass when you’re early in transition. Nothing wrong with that at all, it’s just the truth. Cis dudes are often mistaken as women if they have long hair, wear makeup, wear women’s clothing, etc, so of course a trans dude who hasn’t been able to physically transition at all is gonna have a hard time if he does the same… But then it escalates and builds from “having long hair as a pre-everything trans guy might make it hard to pass” to “no trans guy who’s actually dysphoric would ever be okay with having long hair” which is just a ridiculous fucking jump.

But on that note, while passing advice is great when it’s asked for, I also just fucking hate the idea that you have to sacrifice all sense of style to pass and that passing should be your ultimate goal. I mean, I get it. I want to pass. I’ve worked my ass off to pass and live full-time as a man. But I also think there needs to be some level of realization that 1. Transition has to partly be for YOU, not just how society might or might not view you. You will always be disappointed if you expect HRT or surgery to be a miracle cure to your dysphoria. 2. I know this gets said a lot in trans spaces but not everyone’s feelings about their own transition is the same. Someone can be horribly dysphoric but feel like having long hair is worth it because there is more than one facet to every human. Dysphoria can be one, self-expression that involves having long hair is another. And these might overlap in complex ways. It’s just… it’s not cut and dry. I actually have a LOT of thoughts about dysphoria as a diagnosis in general TBH, speaking as someone who is professionally diagnosed and totally identifies with being dysphoric/having gender dysphoria, but that’s wayyyy too huge of a subject. The short version is that I think the trans community does itself a disservice when it acts like gender dysphoria is something that can be perfectly defined rather than a tool used for medical insurances and a broad way of grouping together a series of experiences in order to get insurance to cover our medical needs. So naturally I think it’s silly when people do the whole “you wouldn’t do this if you were really dysphoric” thing.

I can have some pretty strong feelings about trans issues but I don’t think it really ever helps to play the “no trans person/no one with dysphoria would ever do XYZ” game. I cannot convey enough that the thing that made me become confident in my gender and made me find pride in being a man was letting go of my fear of not passing and instead embracing self-expression and prioritizing the style that I wanted to have. I told myself that the testosterone would catch up with me and eventually my body would be able to match the style I was putting it in, LOL, and it was so, so much better than putting my entire damn life on hold until I could transition. I know I keep saying it but transitioning should be about becoming a more authentic version OF YOURSELF! It should not be to become a fucking NPC.

If the especially judgmental trans dudes out there had seen me ~5 years ago they would have assumed I was a trender, despite the fact that my dysphoria and being closeted had been one of the most traumatic parts of my existence. But I had long hair and wore makeup and fem clothes and was pre-everything. But it was because I was finally actually looking at the men who actually inspired me. I was looking up to Nivek Ogre, Trent Reznor, Sean Brennan, Boy George, Steve Strange, Pete Burns, Chris Connelly, Paul Barker, Al Jourgensen… These were men whose expressions of masculinity were ones that actually resonated with me. And I could see a future for myself through them. And I wore fishnets and eyeliner and went out to the club and danced and made friends with the same exact community, the goth community, that down the line would help me pay for my top surgery and supported me during a time when I came incredibly close to suicide due to the reaction my family had to my transition. And at this point in my life I still have long hair and wear makeup and put on fem clothes and go and dance at the club in my fishnets and I have been on hormones for over 3 years and have gotten top surgery and live full-time out in the world as a man and I’m happier than I could literally ever have imagined.