#huge shoutout to women

[jenny-wonderzone]

Girls are hot 😳

[frogshunnedshadows]

Got my Japanese CD in the mail today, and I am delighted to find it's entirely covers of US early + mid 80's movie pop songs. Bonkers.

[skenpiel]

scenes that shouldve been in the spock is gay compilation compilation

[mashmouths]

i need to make a venn diagram of character traits shared between mizu bes, simon ss, and lancelot timk because oh? my god.

[moe-broey]

Oh. Huh.

[thatsdemko]

unknown - m.verstappen

masterlist | pairing: max verstappen x Hamilton!fem!reader. summary: when an unknown number comes across his phone, max can’t help but discover who’s sent him the image he can’t erase from his mind. warnings: 18+ + fingering (f receiving) + mentions of nudity + fluff (at the end). a/n: I want to give a huge shoutout to @monzabee for always being my inspiration to finish my smut, but also for convincing me to read twisted games (this ones inspired by that xx)

unknown

attachment: 1 image

the pinging sound distracts him from the current game on his television. pausing for a quick second, max glances at the unknown number and slides the message open as curiosity struck him.

unknown

can you see my nipples through this?

Max’s phone nearly drops into his lap at the second message. he barely got the chance to even open the image, the second message was far too appalling and his hands got too slippery from the precipitation building around him.

“max! come on!” the chatter from his headset snaps his attention from the black phone screen in his lap. red slips across his cheeks as he apologizes quickly for the distraction, and continues on like nothing happened.

though he couldn’t lie, the curiosity of the image was certainly looming around him. what was the person wearing? could he see said nipples? he couldn’t help but try to sneak peaks at his phone whenever he got the chance before the stream ended.

finally free from his friends, max slides open his phone and his breath sucks inward. you could definitely see your nipples through the sheer linen tight white top. in fact, if it weren’t for your underwear, you could see the very outline of your vagina.

fuck. max was unsure to text back. if he did, what would he even say? there was no clear indication on who it was sending the message. he didn’t recognize the number, and on top of that there was no face. the image was purely just the outfit.

max verstappen

a bra would be appropriate.

your heart fell about five stories down, and right into the pit of your gut. shit, you didn’t send the message to your friends. instead, you mistook the ID you tapped on for one of them, and it turned out to very clearly be your brothers rival: max verstappen.

unknown

don’t mention this to Lewis.

max verstappen

secret is safe with me.

while this made perfectly good blackmail, max had nothing against you. you were completely innocent and most likely too stupid to notice you tapped his phone number instead. he’d never utter a word to Lewis, and the photo would die with max whenever the time may be.

max verstappen

where are you headed looking like that?

y/n Hamilton

your moms house.

max stifled out a chuckle unable to believe that you were born by the same parents as Lewis. when it came to humor, Lewis used it very minimal, but from the select times max had spoken to you, you were the complete opposite. meditation was joke, veganism was impossible to follow, and driving at fast speeds was too boring. y/n hamilton was every opposite of her brother.

max verstappen

I think my house is a better place for that

your heart somehow jumped back into its place, attempting to thump its way out of its cavity. max could easily be joking, he could easily be serious, but either way you shouldn’t go. max was probably not interested in women like you, and sure the photo might’ve tipped the scales in your favor, but you weren’t really into vanilla sex like he could offer.

y/n Hamilton

you wish I was headed to your place like this.

max verstappen

I do.

fuck. you close your eyes, letting your fingers type the message and hit send before you can even have a single regret. max might be your opposite in the bedroom, but you can’t help but wonder what he’s got up his sleeve.

y/n Hamilton

I’m free right now.

—

twenty minutes later his soft lips are leaving trails down your neck, his fingers work the buttons of the top that sickened his soul into this. he was careful not rip the material, but he was so the opposite of careful when his lips wrapped around your nipple.

his tongue and teeth graze the sensitive skin while you melt against his mattress into a puddle.

you were so wrong about him. oh so so, wrong.

he’d practically ripped that white shirt to shreds the second you entered his place. his tongue was a dominate force, shoved down your throat, his lips were passionate and full of eager. vanilla sex was so not max. you could write pages about him, no fantasy or book explored the way max did.

his fingers. oh gosh, they could write stories about how delicate, and soft they were. how they expanded your folds and had you clenching around nothing. they worked wonders— magic perhaps, pumping at such a fast speed you didn’t have time to react feeling him floor you until every drop of you was around him.

“these,” his tongue swipes across your breast, lips wrapping around the tip of your nipple, sucking you like a baby its thumb. it was relaxing, gut twisting, and chilling. he left you panting, begging, and still he wasn’t finished. no ounce of him showed signs of stopping.

when finally he was done toying, done with whatever ‘warmup’ he claimed this to be, his large cock filled you, warmth overtook with pleasure when you felt his hips grind yours. the rhythm was nothing like his fingers, nothing like how his tongue moved on your skin, it was slow. he was slow, like he were to savor every moment of this.

you clench, you squeal, beg, whatever could come from you as noise. nothing was coherent, and max liked that. in fact, it quickened his pace with a smirk as he watched your eyes roll to the back of your head and moan his name.

“you’re taking it well.” his voice is raspy, husk and faint. a moan rippled through your body at the sound of him, you could feel butterflies unleash in the warmth of your stomach as you cry out and come on his cock.

“you’re different than I expected you to be.” you say watching him roll to the pillow beside you, his blue eyes fixed on yours, they still have that hunger in them that turns you on.

“when you wear a top like that,” his breath sucks inward, a simple shake of his head at the newest dirty ideas floating in his mind, “I can’t control myself.”

a breathy chuckle escapes your lips as you curl your body into his, perfectly molding together, “I guess I’m glad I ditched the girls for you.”

a smile stretches across his lips that he carefully plants on your forehead, “thanks for the text, I hope to receive more in the future.”

“you earned yourself a spot on speed dial.”

[mdni]

huge shoutout to boys who have been referred to with she/her for so long that it doesn’t bother them anymore

huge shoutout to boys who have fully embraced femininity for whatever reason, be it they have to in order to survive the misgendering or because they think masc presentation doesn’t look right on them

huge shoutout to boys who stop and stare and think for a moment when the document/application asks for their name and gender. huge shoutout to the ones who fill it out with their deadname and assigned gender.

huge shoutout to the boys who grow up to be men who die and are remembered as women.

huge shoutout to boys who never made it in life, who never had the friend group they wanted, the job they wanted, the wardrobe they wanted. who would have succeeded if they just had that injection sitting in a box under their bed.

huge shoutout to the boys who physically can’t transition, whose bodies can’t handle recovering from a surgery or who can’t wear regular clothes.

huge shoutout to boys who associate masculinity with abuse, hate, anger, who would rather die than be what that masculine figure was to them

huge shoutout to boys who don’t have the money to transition, who can’t afford a trip to a clinic or the shots that come afterward, who have to work every day for twelve hours at multiple gas stations to get by, with help.

huge shoutout to boys who don’t live in a safe place, who can’t afford to be known around town as Clarissa and morph into Henry. who had long hair all his life and then didn’t. who painted his nails until he didn’t. who wore lace and skinny jeans until he didn’t. who would be assaulted for it, and even be killed for it.

if youre any of these people it should be made clear that you are and always will be men. it doesn’t matter what your outside shows, or what youre told, or how youre forced to behave or look. your manhood is stored in the heart, it always has been, that’s how youre aware of it, and its always there, and it will always show, be it in the way you talk or the things you like or the job you have. and if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. your manhood is something you just are, and you always will be as much of a man that Max who started transitioning at 13 is. none of the rest matters. if you need a guy to spraypaint your name onto your gravestone, i have a guy. you will make it.

[spotsspeciall]

Factory meetings - LN4

vol. 2

Lando Norris x fem!reader

summary: Lando makes a move to Red Bull for 2024 and you work in the Red Bull factory. You meet him, and he’s a dick. But something inside you, needs him. 

Notes: Shoutout to @f1goat and the “His teammate” series, for the inspiration!!  Fair warning, I'm talking alittle shit about McLaren, but I am a McLaren girly and It’s all lies, I mean nothing by it! I also made up some gibberish about the car, since I don’t know how everything really works haha. This was also longer than I expected, but I can honestly say I'm pretty proud of it.

warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI. smut, unprotected (wrap it before you tap it folks!) p in v, pet names, language.

word count: 7.3k

masterlist

You had been working at the Red Bull factory in Milton Keynes for 2 years. After getting your degree in mechanical engineering, you grabbed the first opening in Red Bull. And now you had built your way up to your current position. 

You were sitting on the chair, staring at the little metal pieces in front of you. Trying to figure out the best way to puzzle them together, and make the most out of the car.

Your job was to plan, and build components in the car. And when you gained your current position at the factory, you helped with the success of the RB19. 

Working in the factory, you rarely met the drivers. They were here a lot for the simulator and meetings, but your paths rarely crossed. You didn’t need to have contact with the drivers, so you didn’t. Only seeing them from afar, when the whole factory came together for a meeting.

Monday morning, just over a week since the last race in Abu-dhabi, the RB19 had been a huge success. And you were working hard to finish the last details on the RB20 before the new season, working even harder than you did on the RB19. Trying to make the RB20 even better, as impossible as that sounds. 

You had a goodbye party for Checo on Friday, as he was retiring. And Christian Horner had announced that Lando Norris was taking his seat.

You had never met Lando, only seen him when you watched the races. And from what you had heard about him, he was kind of a dick. 

You and the other women working for Red Bull had formed a strong bond, you and the Red Bull media girl, Sophie, were basically best friends. And since she was on the track every race weekend, she had some encounters with Lando. 

She said he was constantly grumpy. He only cared about racing, and the fact that he hadn’t had a win yet, already being in McLaren for 5 years, it started taking a toll on him. 

He used to be a kind and sweet person. Loving to chat to people, and loving the interaction with his fans. He was just an all around loving guy. But when his fist win never came, and 

The McLaren car never got faster. He turned mean and angry, and stopped caring about anything other than racing. And when Christian gave him a nice offer to fill Checo’s seat, he jumped on it, no hesitation. 

You picked up your tools and started assembling the pieces again, to see if your mind had any ideas. 

You had your normal shitty Monday morning, and you didn’t have time to properly get ready. So you were sitting here in the Red Bull work clothes, your hair was up, but it had fallen out of your bun and was falling in your face, and you kept trying to pull it behind your ears. You didn’t have time for either makeup or to put your contacts in, so it was glasses today. But it wasn’t that bad, everyone saw you like this every Monday (and most other days too)

But what you didn’t know was that Lando was visiting the Factory today. To have a tour of the factory, and meet everyone working there. You didn’t hear the door open as you were staring a whole into the piece you just assembled. But you did hear your name being called. 

You turned around and met the eyes of Christian, but your eyes quickly looked over at the man standing beside him. You hurried to stand up and rip the gloves off your hands. Stretching out your hand to shake his. It seemed like he hesitated for a bit before shaking it, staring into your eyes the whole time. 

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you”

“Lando”

Yeah, he seemed pretty grumpy. 

As you pulled your hand away, Christian started explaining who you were, and what your job was. You didn’t know if Lando was even listening because he was still just staring at you. 

Christian then turned to you and asked you how the work was going. 

“Oh yeah!” You were blocking their view of the piece, so you turned to walk around the table to show them. 

You started explaining what the piece was and what your goal for it was, as you put on a new pair of gloves to show them the piece. 

Putting it back down, Lando looked back at you. A small smile had made its way to his lips. 

“Is that going in my car?”

“Well yeah, it’s going in both cars”

“But, I’ll only drive the car if you’re the one working on it” He was now smirking at you and turned to Christian. “I’m serious” His smirk was gone.

“Don’t worry Lando, I’ll make sure of it” He said with a smile as he patted his shoulder. “We should move on to look at the paint booths” 

As they headed towards the door, Lando turned around before he left. His face was unreadable, and he had a look in his eyes you had never seen. You had never been more confused, and it took you a while to get back into the right headspace for you to finally crack the code.

There were only a few days left before Christmas break, and you hadn’t seen Lando since that first time. 

Today had been a stressful day as you tried to do as much as you could in the little time you had left. You were standing in front of the computer, looking at the readings from a recent test, and there were a few numbers off. The frustration got to you, and you pulled off your glasses, rubbing the bride of your nose. Before you shoved the keyboard away and buried your face in your arms on the desk as you groaned in frustration. 

Lando had one last visit to the simulator before break. And before he left for the day, he decided to see if you were there. He was mesmerized by you when he first saw you. Your hair was falling in your face, and the glasses framed your face perfectly. He noticed that you had no makeup on, but you were absolutely breathtaking. And when you started talking about your work, he saw the passion in your eyes. He felt a small pull in his chest, and felt like his old happy self for just a moment when he looked at you. 

But it quickly disappeared, and he realized his new mission. He needed to have you. 

When he opened the door, he heard a groan as he saw your face land in your arms on the desk. The desk was quite high, and as you were bent over it, your ass was on display for him. 

He had to fight himself to not go right over and touch you. But he still walked over and leaned on the desk beside you.

“Something wrong baby?”

You quickly looked up, shocked that someone was in the room with you, and why were they calling you “baby”?

When you met Lando’s eyes, you rolled your own. You had already made up your mind about him, and you were not surprised he was acting like this. 

You heard a low chuckle coming from him as he saw you rolling your eyes. 

You leaned closer to him, really close. He could feel your breath.

“Don’t call me baby”

You could see he was a little shocked at the closeness, so you smirked to yourself and stretched your hand out to grab your glasses that had landed beside him. 

Leaning back, you put your glasses on. “And if you must know, I didn’t get the result I wanted” 

You pointed to the numbers on the screen. His mouth was slightly open as he still looked a little shocked, but he turned his head to look at the numbers. 

“I don’t know what any of the numbers mean” He turned to look at you.

You laughed before replying “Yeah, I know” 

After closing your front door and throwing yourself on the couch. You pulled up your phone and sent a text to your best friend Sophie. 

“Lando came by the Factory today and called me baby…”

She answered right away.

"BRO!"

“No way!”

“He’s probably trying to get in your pants”

“WHAT?”

“NO HE IS NOT”

“He’s probably just trying to get a reaction out of me”

“Why would he want to get in my pants when he has models drooling over him?”

“Stop it Y/N”

“You are literally drop dead gorgeous.”

“Lando wishes he could get you! But don’t let him use you like that!”

“hahahaha”

“You’re the best Sophie”

“But yeah, he will not be getting anywhere near these sexy pants!”

“YEAHHHH GIRL”

“go piss girl”

“hahaha”

Closing your phone, you laughed to yourself. And when you laid down in bed, and closed your eyes. You couldn’t help when your sleepy brain started thinking about him. 

You looked down. Seeing your naked body, tits jumping at the movement you were making. You saw your hands spread out on the lower abdomen of the man under you. You saw his hands groping your thighs, hips, tits. And when one of his hands traveled up to grab your jaw, you met his eyes. Lando. 

Waking up, you sat up in bed, hand flying to your jaw.

As your breathing calmed down, you realized the dream. Running the images through your head over and over again. And that's when you noticed just how turned on you were. Your panties totally soaked, and you felt hot.

Landing back in bed you groaned.

“Fuck you brain. That was so fucked up”

You rubbed your hands over your face before getting out of bed. Just a few more days of work before break. 

Your brain had sneaked in thoughts about Lando all through the break, much to your dismay. And he always showed up when you were close to an orgasm by your own hand. And one time, his name slipped out in a whisper. But you would try to deny yourself that it ever happened. 

And when it was time to go back to work, you felt like it had been long enough for you to forget everything, just praying you didn’t have to see him for a while.

And you were lucky for once. The end of January was nearing, and you had yet to see him. But you knew it was not long before you would.

The start of February was when the car was launching. And you had worked your ass off to finish the last bits, and the tests and readings were good, great even. 

There would be a reveal of the finished car in the factory, for all employees, before it was going to be a public launch. And you knew reveal day meant Lando. But you would be fine, all of the employees would be there, no way you would have any contact with him. 

And when the day finally arrived you were excited. The RB20 was going to be revealed, a car you helped make, and that was all you could focus on. 

You and Sophie were standing together up at the front of the crowd, looking at the car covered in a protective sheet. Christian got up beside the car and started his speech, and then he reached the moment where he introduced the two drivers for the team. Max Verstappen, the reigning world champion, and the new Lando Norris.

As he walked up beside the car, he was dressed in the Red Bull racing suit, and you couldn’t help but admire him in it. It wasn’t wrong to think the man looked good, incredibly good. You knew he was still an asshole, but you did have eyes. 

Max had his speech, and then it was Lando’s turn. It was a good speech, talking about how he was ready for something new, a more competitive car. He then started thanking the people working on the car, and he locked eyes with you, and held it until he was finished speaking. 

Lando and Max then lifted the sheet off the car to reveal it. And the crowd started clapping. You marveled at the car for a minute, feeling proud. But you felt his eyes on you. So you looked back at him, and you saw that stupid smirk on his face, he then had the audacity to give you a wink. You rolled your eyes at him, and when you looked back at him, he had a genuine smile on his face, and a glint in his eyes. And for just a moment, butterflies fluttered in your stomach, before you were interrupted with Christian speaking again.

You were standing in front of the car, looking down at it in admiration. The “party” had been moved to a different room, where food and drinks were served. And when you found a quiet moment, you slipped away to go look at the car. 

You were all alone as you squatted down to get a better look at the car, and the details of it. You couldn’t believe you had a hand in building it. This was Max’s car, with the big, red number 1 on it.

Standing back up, you felt a hand slide its way to your lower back. Shocked, you turned to look at the person beside you. Of course. Lando. 

He had that typical smirk on his face as he spoke to you in a low tone. 

“Hope you did a lot of work on my car too” “I was serious when I said I will only drive it if you have”

You rolled your eyes again, it was something he really brought out of you. 

“I have!” You put on some fake excitement in your tone. “I even put a little extra work into your car” You gave him a suggestive wink.

“Oh, so my car might be a little faster?” He said in a hushed tone, like you were sharing a secret. 

“Yeah” You nodded at him, and pointed to the car in front of you. “This is your car right?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “No, this is Max’s”

“Oh shit, guess I put it in the wrong car then” You shrugged your shoulders as you couldn’t hold your laughter anymore. 

You turned to walk away, leaving the hold he still had on your lower back. The place where his hand had been was burning hot. And when he saw you taking quick steps to get away, he hurried to follow after you. 

“Baby, that was not nice” He said with a small pout as he finally caught up with you. 

You stopped in your tracks. “I told you to stop calling me that” 

“Oh you look cute when you’re angry” His amusement was clear on his face. 

If you weren’t angry before, you sure were now. You groaned as you started walking away from him again. And before you entered the door to the party, he shouted to you.

“Can’t wait to see you again soon baby!” You could hear the grin on his face. But you just opened the door and walked inside, hoping to not see him for the rest of the night.

Just a week after, you were back at work, looking over some data on the computer, when you heard a knock at the door, and then it opened and closed. 

Turning around, you were met with Christian. “Oh hey Christian!” “Wasn't expecting you to be here!”

He smiled at you, “I am here to ask if you’re free to have a meeting in my office?”

“Right now?”

He looked down at the expensive watch around his wrist. “Yes”

“Um, yeah sure!” “I’m just going to-” You trailed off as you pressed a few buttons on the computer, before turning it off and walking towards Christian. “Shall we?”

Sitting down in the chair opposite his desk, it all started to become a little intimidating. You waited for him to speak as he looked at a few papers, before lifting his head and meeting your eyes. 

“Y/N” “First, I want to formally thank you for your work on the RB19. You made the car what it was. Great work” “And I also want to thank you for the work you’ve put into the RB20. I know it will be even better than the 19” He smiled at you, and you smiled back as you nodded, silently thanking him for his words. 

He continued, “I have been talking with Lando Norris, and after he had a test in the car, and felt how it worked. And after he also saw how you worked on it, he has asked for you to be his no.1 mechanic.” He paused, waiting for your response.

“No.1 mechanic? as in, at every race, in the garage, being the head mechanic on his car?” You were shocked, confused.

“Yes.” He gave you a warm smile. “When he suggested it, I totally agreed.” “It would be a perfect job for you, and with all the work you have put in, the least I can do for you is to give you a chance to be with the car at every race.” “So, do you want the job?”

You didn’t even think about the fact that Lando was the one to suggest the job for you. You just focused on the fact that you could be the no.1 mechanic. 

“Yes” “Yes I do.” A big smile grew on your face.

“Perfect!” Christian clapped his hands together, and picked up the papers he previously looked at. “Take the time you need to read through them before signing” 

Taking the papers in your hands, you read through it. And everything looked perfect. So you signed where you needed to. And handed the papers back to Christian. 

“Thank you so much for this opportunity!” “I can’t wait to get started” You couldn’t stop smiling.

“Good!” “Can’t wait to see you on the track”

He then told you the plan heading forwards. You had plenty of meetings coming up. You needed to know what to expect in the garage. And you had a few meetings with the people working in the garage. And after all of that was finished, you were headed to the pre-season testing in Bahrain. 

Arriving in Bahrain, you felt prepared. And you were even more happy to finally join Sophie at work, as you walked into the garage together. 

Testing had been going pretty great so far, you only needed to do a few tweaks on the car to see if the performance was different. 

On the other end, Lando had been tolerable. He had his usual flirty, teasing persona around you. But now that you worked together in a small garage, he had toned it down a bit, much to your pleasure. 

But when you got a moment alone, he always sneaked up on you and rested his hand on your lower back, called you baby, and did everything to annoy you. Much to your frustration.

You had been single for a few years. And you hadn’t slept with too many people after. But now it had been a really long time since last. Too busy at work to even care, but you were growing more and more pent up and frustrated. And this asshole resting his hand on your lower back was not helping. It was also not helping that he looked drool worthy all the time.

What was helping, was the fact that he was just that, an asshole. But you had no excuse for yourself when you were alone at night, and you just stopped caring. It made you cum fast, and you were happy with that. So you kept thinking about him every time, while whispering his name under your breath. 

It was the fourth race of the season, and you were in Japan. The previous races were good to Lando, who had gotten a podium on each one, but no win yet. But he was good in Japan, he knew this could be the one.

It was early on Thursday, and when Lando walked into the garage, he found you working on the car, alone. 

You were so focused as you lay bent over the nose of the car, trying to screw something that was in a tricky position. When Lando saw the sight of you like that, bent over, legs spread, he felt his dick twitch. 

He quickly turned his head to look around for the sign of any people, seeing no one, he walked up to you, close enough so your feet were almost touching. Looking down at you, he noticed you still didn’t know he was there, so he cleared his throat to get your attention. 

When you heard the sound, it spooked you, and you went to stand up from the compromising position you were in. But you didn’t know someone was standing right behind you. So when you lifted yourself off the car, your ass hit something, someone. You felt a pair of strong hands grab onto your hips to stabilize the both of you, as your back was now flush against his chest. When you looked down at his hands, you saw his watch and bracelets and immediately knew who it was. 

You heard a low groan coming from him, right by your ear. And you felt a bulge grow right where your ass was resting against his crotch. You panicked, and shoved yourself back to knock his balance off so he would get off you. When he did, you turned around to look at him with anger in your eyes.

“What the fuck was that Norris!?”

You didn’t even let him answer before you turned to storm out. Two reasons why. First, you were flustered and could feel your face heat up, and you did not want him to see that. Second, feeling his hands hold your waist, and the bulge grow in his pants, you were already soaked and horny beyond belief, and you did not want to be around him in a state like that. 

Lando stood there, a little shocked, and flustered. He pulled his hoodie down to try and cover up the bulge in his pants, as he headed towards his driver room.

It was time for a car check. And you were picking up the steering wheel to put it in the car. When you turned back around to go over to the car, you saw him.

Lando was standing in his seat, and you watched him lower himself into the seat, holding onto the halo with a tight grip.

You almost dropped the steering wheel in your hand, as your eyes focused on his hands. You had to literally shake your head to get back to the right headspace.

You walked over to the car, and looked down at Lando looking around the cockpit, trying to get in a comfortable position. After he found it, he looked up and his eyes met yours.

His eyes were shining from the lighting on the ceiling. And the feeling that arose was butterflies hidden by anger. Why the fuck was he so breathtaking, but also such a dick. Fuck him. 

You clenched your jaw as you kept eye contact with him. 

“You gonna hand me the steering wheel love?” There was that stupid smirk again.

You narrowed your eyes at him in anger, and handed him the wheel. He clicked it in place, and looked back up at you and told you something he wanted changed on the car. 

Luckily for you, when he started talking about the car, you went straight into work mode. Not a single thought about Lando in your brain. (Only far in the back)

He pointed to show you something that was underneath the steering wheel, right over where his legs rested. And you couldn’t see it. So you stepped farther towards the back of the car, to see it more from his angle. You grabbed a stepping stool that was standing close by, and leaned over the halo. You face resting just beside his. 

“What was it again?” You asked him, surprisingly calm, but the working Y/N was in control right now.

He pointed again, and started explaining it. And you stretched a hand out to point to it as well, making sure you understood each other. 

Lando didn’t expect you to get that close. And when you stretched your hand out and got even closer, he turned to look at you.

You felt his hot breath on the side of your face, and you could tell in your peripheral that he was looking at you. So you turned to look at him. Your faces so close that your noses almost touched. 

But somehow, you kept your cool. “I can fix that for you Lando, you just need to get out of the car.” You smiled innocently at him as you leaned back and stepped away. 

When he stepped out, you got your tools ready and lowered yourself into the seat, needing to sit there to get the best access.

As you worked away, Lando stood by the side of the car, arms folded against his chest. There was something going on in his body that he couldn’t recognise. He was still feeling the effects of what happened with the two of you earlier. But there was something different there as well.

On Sunday, you found yourself standing in front of the mirror in the public bathroom. It was not long before race start. And you were staring at yourself in the mirror.

You were angry, frustrated and way too fucking horny. Last night, you caved, again. Imagining your fingers were his. You used it as a way of getting the anger out, and it worked. 

But your brain was on overdrive and everything was threatening to boil over. Looking at yourself, you took a deep breath and nodded to yourself, heading back out, ready for work, trying to ignore everything and hoping it would be fine. 

You were sitting on the pit wall, as you watched them line back up on the grid after the formation lap. And Lando lined his car up on P1. Max lined up in P4, unlucky in Q3.

The race start was good, the top 5 drivers staying as is. Lando keeping the lead until halfway in the race, Lando boxed to get new tires. And when he moved his way back up the grid again, you heard his voice coming on the radio.

“Something is wrong.”

“The gears are not working properly”

You turned to Lando’s race engineer sitting to your right. You nodded at him, and he nodded back, a silent exchange you both understood. 

He contacted Lando to tell him he was looking into it, and would update him as fast as possible. 

You looked at as much of the data as you could, as fast as you could. And there you found it. Between all the numbers and graphs, there was one thing off. 

You contacted the race engineer on the radio, and pointed to the mark on the screen. He saw it, and you both knew the solution. Luckily an easy one, as he only needed to press a few buttons on the steering wheel to change modes. 

The race engineer nodded at you again, but this time, in a way that signaled you to tell Lando. So you did.

“Lando, mode 6, and give it 3.8”

“Understood”

“Thanks Y/N”

You felt like you could hear a smile on his face, but probably not. Right?

When you looked back at the data, you saw everything was fine. And not long after, Lando radioed back to say it was good, and he was ready to get back to the chase.

And he did just that, climbing his way back up. Lucky for him, Max had pitted not long after Lando, making Lando ahead of Max in the race. 

You were anxious for the last few laps. He had gotten back into P1, and had made a reasonable gap back to the driver behind him. 

The screams you heard on the radio as he crossed the line first, almost made you deaf for a minute. And you had a big smile on your face as you celebrated with the crew on the pit wall, proud of the car you helped in making. 

You had gotten the car back to the garage after watching the podium. You, and two other mechanics were pulling the protective sheet over the car. You tried to keep your mind focused on the task at hand, but the image of Lando getting champagne poured on him was seared into your brain. But when you were done with everything, thanking the mechanics before you stepped back. You heard someone entering the garage. 

In walked Lando, soaked in champagne and still dressed in his racing suit that was hanging around his hips. When he saw you, he actually smiled. And seeing him like that, you couldn’t help the heat settling in your core.

He almost ran over to you and wrapped his arms around your hips. He lifted you with him in a tight hug, your feet far above the ground, you had to grab onto his shoulders for support. 

“There’s my no.1 mechanic!” 

His voice was muffled as his face was resting directly against your boobs. 

And when you squeezed his shoulders in reaction, he looked up at you as he still held you tight. You couldn’t get any words out. But as he looked up at you, he smiled. A genuine, lovely smile. But something else was shining in his eyes, and his pupils dilated. 

He felt you started to slip out of his arms, so he readjusted his grip. He got a firm hold on your ass, and when you felt it, everything boiled over.

“Let. Me. The Fuck. Down.” “Now.”

The mechanics stood there in confusion until they heard that. They shared a look, and hurried to leave the garage. Avoiding you screaming at Lando.

Lando heard the threatening tone in your voice, and he immediately lowered you to the ground. 

When he stood back to look at you, he opened his mouth to say something. But you were quicker.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME NORRIS? YOU CAN’T JUST LIFT ME UP LIKE THAT! AND NOT TO MENTION WHAT HAPPENED THURSDAY MORNING! YOU’RE MAKING ME GO CRAZY!” You basically screamed at him, with your finger pointing at him in anger. But you weren’t finished. 

“You’re the one who wanted me to have this job, and you’re usually rude and mean, but then you’re teasing me and acting all flirty?!” “You’re so fucking confusing!” 

Your brain had exploded at his point. Every feeling that had been pent up for so long, finally boiled over. And since everything hit you, you felt yourself grow wetter and wetter by the second. You let out a heavy breath and lifted your hands to hold onto your head in frustration. 

Lando had just taken it all, with his eyebrows lifted in shock. He was making you go crazy? His mind was running, what did you mean? He didn’t know what to do, what to say. But then he saw the small movement you made, and the look on your face. A smirk making its way to his face as his eyes got even darker. 

While in your frustration, your body just acted for you. And as you were standing there, looking anywhere but at him, your face red and hot, your whole body on fire. Your thighs squeezed together for some desperate neediness for something, anything. 

And when that caught Landos eyes, he took two long steps towards you. His arms wrapping around you, the palms of his hands resting on the top of your ass. 

When he was suddenly in front of you, so close. You dropped your hands in shock, and just stared into his eyes, then his lips. They were slightly parted, and you saw the quick moment his tongue darted out to lick his lips. Before you quickly looked back into his eyes, cursing yourself for the moment of weakness. 

When you locked eyes again, his eyes were dark, looking down at you. Lando had no patience left. He shoved your body hard, into himself. You chests touching, and the grip he had on your ass, where he was holding you tight against him, you felt almost every detail of his already growing bulge through his pants. If you weren’t soaked already, you sure were now. 

You had no control when you let out a small moan at the contact, and that was all Lando wanted, and needed to hear, as he leaned down to capture your lips in an aggressive kiss.

It was like he was hungry, starving for you. And Lando had wanted you since he first saw you, and with the months that had passed, it all came crashing down at the same time.

The kiss was messy, teeth clashing and rough. But you loved it, feeling another moan slip out of your throat.

As you moaned, Lando took the chance and slipped his tongue inside your mouth, your own immediately tangling with his. It was harsh, but so full of passion. His hands were guiding your hips in a way that gave him some much needed friction. And when your hands slid up to grab onto the hair at the back of his neck, he let out a low groan. 

You couldn’t take it anymore, and you pulled on his hair, so you disconnected. Your breathing was heavy as you looked up at him. He was breathing heavy too, and his lips were wet, and slightly red. His pupils blown wide. God, he looked so fucking good, you almost wanted to go back to being angry at him. just because of how hot he was. But you didn’t, he spoke before you could do anything.

“Shit, I need you.” His eyes darted all across your face, looking for any type of reaction. “Please”

He looked so desperate, and he sounded even more desperate. He was begging you. 

Fuck it, you needed this too. “Your driver room” “Now”

He was quick to grab your hand and pull you after him.

When you finally entered his driver room behind him, he turned around and closed the door behind you. And when he turned back around, he took long steps towards you, until your lips met again. 

Neither of you could control the sounds coming from the both of you. His hands were everywhere, grabbing onto what he could. You hands found his hair again, grabbing it, earning a sweet sound from him. 

He walked the both of you backwards until the backs of your legs hit the small couch. He spun the both of you around, he sat down and pulled you to sit on top of him. 

When you sat down, Lando looked down to where your hips met as his grip on your ass moved your hips, grinding yourself onto him. You lifted both of your hands to hold onto the sides of his face, and made him look at you.

When Lando looked at you, you almost took his breath away. Your cheeks were tinted pink, and your lips were open, breathing heavily. Some of your hair had fallen in your face and your eyes were shining as you looked at him, he swore, you were a goddess. His hands slid up to hold on to your waist, and he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth in a way to try and control himself. But he lost it the second you whispered.

“Just fuck me already”

His hands immediately found the hem of your Red Bull shirt and pulled it over your head. You understood the signal and stood up from his lap and went to pull your pants off, as he pulled the fireproof shirt over his head. 

You were standing in front of him in only your underwear as you looked at him hurrying to pull his race suit and the fireproofs of his legs. When he finally did, he looked up at you, and you swore you could see his dick twitch in his gray boxers. 

Your confidence grew in you, so you went to take your bra off. When it hit the floor, you could hear him muttering under his heavy breath “Fuck”. Next, you hooked your thumbs in the waistband of your panties and slowly pulled them down. 

It had been awhile since the last time someone saw you naked, but with the reaction Lando was giving you, his eyes looking at you like you were a goddess. It made you feel beautiful, and so powerful. So you stepped forward until you were right in front of him. His eyes kept shifting from your face to your tits. 

You sat down in his lap again, your knees resting beside his hips, and your core just barely touching the outline of his dick in his boxers. When you leaned down to capture his lips again, you lowered your hips until you felt his covered dick resting between your folds. And because of the much needed friction you got. You moaned into his mouth. 

The kiss was much slower and careful than before, frustration replaced by the need to really taste each other. His hands had found a tight hold on your hips, as he tried to guide them to move. 

“Baby, you’re soaked” He said as he looked down at where you were resting above him.

Lifting your hips, you saw that his boxers were absolutely soaked because of you. And you felt your face heat up even more. 

“Fuck, I can’t wait anymore” “You reckon you’re ready to take me?”

He looked up at you, and you felt stunned. Just nodding wildly at him, his smirk grew. He looked down again, and pulled his boxers down enough to free his dick. Springing free, it hit his abdomen. You stared down, bewildered. How was he supposed to fit?

His hands found your hips again, and he guided them to rest right above him. One of his hands wrapped around his dick, and he moved his hands up and down a few times, as he looked up at you. You were staring down at his hand wrapped around himself, and you felt your pussy clench, waiting to finally have him inside of you. 

He moved his dick so the tip was resting against your hole. Looking up at him, he still had that smirk on his face. 

“Think you can handle it?” 

You didn’t reply before you dropped your hips down until he bottomed out inside of you. His pelvis hitting your clit. You both moaned simultaneously. The stretch was a lot, he was big, and you hadn’t had a dick in you for ages. But God it felt so good. 

Lando swore no one had been able to fit around him so perfectly, and when you took all of him, he felt you clench around him, almost holding him in. He felt another moan slip out of him. His mouth was hanging open in awe as he looked at you. Your head was tipped back, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.

“Shit, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted you” He almost whispered.

He slid a hand up to hold on to the side of your face, tipping it down to make you look at him. And his other hand gave your hip a squeeze. 

“Please move”

You didn’t have to make him beg for you, he just did on his own. Was he really this weak for you?

A smirk grew on your face as you wanted to know just how weak he was. You just grinded your hips slowly, and you watched his face as his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. You kept your small movements up, but he tried to lift your hips up and down on him. But you were stubborn, and you didn’t budge. 

Your hands grabbed onto his shoulders, as the movement was so good for you. Your clit getting friction everytime you moved back and forth. Your breath coming out in whimpers. 

You closed your eyes again, but opened them when you felt his hand on your face again. The look on his face was pleading. 

“Please baby.” “I need more” His voice was so soft and sweet, and you couldn’t help the smile on your lips. 

“Say it again.”

“Please please please please baby”

His hands were running up and down your torso as his eyes were locked on yours.

You gave in and moved your hips up to slam them back down. And the groan that made its way out of lando could’ve made you cum already.

You couldn’t hold back anymore, as you kept up the rhythm, riding him with your hands gripping his shoulders. His hands slid around to your ass and grabbed a hold as he helped you move up and down on his dick, and his hips moved up to meet yours. 

You knew the door to the driver room was pretty thin, so you bit your bottom lip to try and hold back some of the sounds threatening to escape. Lando noticed, and snaked a hand around to circle his thumb around your clit. He saw it on your face, the effect it had on you. But he also felt it, as you got even tighter around him. You didn’t moan from it, but he sure did. 

You were so focused as you tried to keep quiet, but with the added pleasure it was so difficult, also because of the sounds he was making.

“Come on baby, let me hear you” He said in a low tone, as he was looking up at you.

That broke you. And he got the sounds from you that he desperately needed to hear. 

As you looked down at him, you saw his eyebrows scrunched together as he was staring at himself disappearing inside you, and his mouth was hanging open. You lifted one of your hands and ran it through the wet curls on the top of his head, still soaked in champagne and sweat. 

You grabbed a hold of them and pulled his head back to make him look at you. All of the feelings you had for him came rising to the surface, just as you felt your climax closing in. The feelings of anger and frustration. So with gritted teeth, you spoke.

“Fuck you.”

He enjoyed that.

“You already are sweetheart.”

You gave in and sped up your rhythm. And his thumb moved faster and his grip on your ass tightened. Your hand slid down to cradle his jaw. You ran your thumb across the facial hair growing on his chin, before you pulled him in for a searing kiss before your climax hit like a brick wall. 

You disconnected from the kiss and tipped your head back, eyes screwed shut, as your vision was going white, and you whispered a quiet “Fuck, Lando” as you came. 

Lando felt you tighten around him as you came, and he looked up at you, mesmerized, as he saw your face contourting as you came around him. And he followed right after, coming inside you. 

You felt him filling you up, and his thumb had slowed down, but was still rubbing soft circles helping you come down from your orgasm. After a few seconds of catching your breath, as he did the same, you opened your eyes to look at him again, and he was already looking at you. The ghost of a gorgeous smile on his face. 

His hands rested on your thighs, and his thumb rubbing soft circles again. Neither of you said anything, you just looked at each other.

“You’re going to be the death of me” 

He was whipped.

Notes: I realized this could be made into a series or something. So let me know if you want more!! Thank you for reading<3

[formulawolff]

xv. everlong - t.w.

pairing: female driver!reader x toto wolff

word count: 3.0k

warnings: age gap relationship, team principal x driver relationship, cursing, marijuana use, alcohol use, toto being down bad per usual, light angst, toto is not the best person for a minute, mentions of divorce/separation, some lighttttt smut (the heavy smut will be included in the next chapter! promise!) oral (f! receiving), some realllll sweet n tender shit, yadayadayada

a/n: this chapter is probably one of my top five favorites, if not favorite chapter of this series. although it would be pretty hard to top chapter xii., i really enjoyed writing this one! to set the mood for the chapter, i have a few song recs to listen to as you read! please try to listen to them in order, as they really set the tone/vibe of golden girl x toto! <3 also, a huge shoutout to the anon who inspired me to write about gg x toto smoking together!! :)

little hell - city and colour

alkaline - sleep token

one way (feat. t-pain) - 6lack, t-pain

everlong - foo fighters

skin - mac miller

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“toto, tell me. are you in love with her?” 

yes, susie. i am. 

she is a divine being, bringing me to my knees at the sight of her. she is the sun, a bright, radiant beacon of light and warmth. her touch alone makes me weak. my mind is consumed with thoughts of her every waking second. i’ve been apart from her for so long, i can barely hold it together right now. 

the team principal inhales sharply, letting out a shaky breath, “i – i can’t answer that.”

“you are, aren’t you?” susie’s expression is unreadable, “you’re in love with her. if this was just some fuck you wouldn’t be acting this way.”

there it was again.

that pang of jealousy deeply interwoven in her fiery retort. 

“susie,” toto begins, scrambling for formulate some sort of coherent response, “i don’t know what to say or how to respond in a manner that will make this any more–”

“no,” she holds up a hand, “you do not have to explain yourself to me any further. i know you love that girl. you wouldn’t have let her pull that little stunt if you didn’t.”

“it wasn’t just some little stunt–”

“exactly,” susie shakes her head, tears glistening in the light, “it wasn’t just some publicity stunt to you. i could tell that you enjoyed that kiss, toto. you were practically making out with her for fuck’s sake.”

“susie,” toto rises to his feet, “we made an agreement, remember? we wanted this. both of us.”

“but that doesn’t mean i have to act like it doesn’t tear me apart seeing you with someone new. someone younger than me. someone who is far more beautiful than i ever will be. someone who can bear more children for you. someone who will–”

“susie, stop. cut that shit out right now.” 

“why?” she demands, whipping her head towards the team principal, “why are you so stone cold as i’m falling apart in front of you? why does this not bother you?”

“because,” toto coughs, clearing his throat, “i don’t love you anymore. that’s why. all of those feelings, they’re long gone. when i look at you, i don’t feel love. you’re one of my good friends, one of my business partners, and the mother of my children. i feel respect, and a deeply rooted companionship. but i just don’t feel love. not even an inkling.”

her eyes narrow, “oh, so i was wrong. you’re not just in love. you’re in deep.”

“and i’m not going to stand here and play childish little games,” the team principal scoffs, “you’ve never acted this way before, and i am not sure why this girl is bothering you so badly when i’ve mentioned other women in the past.”

susie’s lower lip curls into a sneer, “did it ever occur to you that this bothers me so much because i know her? because we were friends at one point? she has a relationship with the academy, toto. i’ve met with her several times. we’ve spoken on a regular basis at one point. it just feels wrong.”

“well,” toto shrugs, “she’s going to be around for a while, susie. you may want to get used to seeing her face around here.”

“you’re fucking ridiculous,” susie snarls, raising a pointed finger at the team principal, “you’ve been a terrible father lately. you’ve been a horrid team principal. and the worst part, you’ve completely lost it. ten years ago, you would have never put your reputation on the line like this.” 

the team principal remained silent as his former wife gathered her composure, cursing under her breath as she slung the strap of her purse over her shoulder, nearly stomping out of the office. the department surrounding his space probably eavesdropped on the entire heated exchange, but he didn’t care. 

after monaco, it seemed like he had less and less fucks to give these days. 

licking his lower lip, toto almost crashes down into his chair, collapsing as a groan rumbles in his chest.

so much for her taking that news well. 

and if he happened to marry this girl?

oh god. 

susie would probably have a conniption. fuck, she would probably ransack his entire office, defacing each and every one of his items. shit, she would even probably try to find a way to get him fired somehow. 

well, he didn’t entirely blame her. it wasn’t like he kept her in the loop about his personal life or romantic relationships. although they had a pretty amicable relationship after their separation, the subject of new love was always like rubbing salt in a wound.

a wound that toto thought had healed. but apparently not. her explosive outburst in the office reaffirmed that. 

there was a pang in his chest, squeezing in his heart as he hunched over the desk, burying his head in his arms. 

oh, how he missed his golden girl.

god, wasn’t that fucked up. 

his ex-wife of nearly a decade just basically professed she still harbored romantic feelings for him, and here he was, fretting as he yearned over his new love. 

he needed to see her, oh so badly. 

but how? although they were only approximately forty miles apart, it felt as if there were thousands upon thousands of miles between them. it was more than likely due to the nature of their current situation, but it left him aching for one singular thing. 

her touch. 

fuck, he craved her touch. the light drag of her nails against his skin as her fingertips traced along his toned back and shoulder blades. the wisp of her hair as she buried her head into his chest. the ghost of her mouth of his as their bodies intertwined together. 

her presence alone was enough to send him spiraling. 

it wasn’t like they were forced to go their separate ways between monaco and montreal. it was just suggested heavily by their pr teams that they do so, just so that williams and mercedes could launch their own personal investigations in regards to their relationship. 

and for the time being, it appeared that things were all cleared. they had broken no rules. they didn’t breach any contracts. well, not entirely. mercedes, williams, and the fia did not need to know about the hours the two of you spent discussing your decision to join toto at mercedes. 

besides, they did not need to know that you were naked, basking in the warmth of him, body tangled with his when you made that decision. 

the official contract talks would have to be scheduled here soon. 

after all, toto was running out of time. 

he needed that second driver. 

and he had you. it wasn’t entirely official quite yet, but he knew he had you. 

time to start making things official then, huh? 

not like he had to really, you already did that for him in monaco.

plucking his phone off his desk, the team principal starts to type out a lengthy text message, swallowing the lump in his throat as his thumb hovers over the send icon. 

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“what are you feeling for dinner over there, eeyore?”

alex’s voice snaps you out of your zombie-esque trance, your head swiveling as you glance over your shoulder, “i’ll just eat a little bit from whatever you make. i’m not really hungry.”

“oh come on,” alex rolls his eyes, yelling from across the kitchen, “you have to eat something! fuck our diets right now. what do you want? i’ll literally make anything for you. i am begging you to eat something.”

“it’s rare for alex to beg,” a giggle sounds from your right, light and airy, “it wouldn’t be a bad idea though, to eat a little something.”

exhaling, your gaze falls on lily as she sits beside you, perched in the plush chair, “i’m just not that hungry.”

“is it because of everything going on?” lily cocks her head, reaching for her wine glass, “i mean, i can’t imagine what it must be like to be you right now. you have to focus on your racing, your diet, keeping up on social media. yet, you also have to factor in your parents, your briefings, and your personal life. it must be a lot, considering what happened in monaco. by the way, what did your parents think? were they shocked? happy for you?”

“well,” your eyes drift over to the ledge of the balcony, taking in the way the sun was beginning its descent over the horizon, “they weren’t necessarily jumping for joy that i happened to fall for a fifty-two year old man. i think they’ll feel a lot better once they meet him. toto has this charm that has draws you in. i’m sure he would win them over in a heartbeat.”

“just like he did with you?” lily teases, leaning over to prod you playfully, “you know, you could have just told me and alex about him. we would’ve kept things private for you!”

“i know,” you bite the inside of your cheek, “but there was just so much risk involved with telling people about it. and i was scared of how you guys would have reacted, what you would have said, or if you would have told james or the fia or–”

“hey,” lily places a tender hand on your shoulder, “we don’t always choose who we fall in love with. we can choose how we act on those feelings, but that is just ultimately something for the universe to decide. you just happened to fall for a devastatingly handsome, recently divorced team principal.”

“i heard that!” alex calls, earning an eye roll from lily.

“i’m just trying to help her feel better! we both know that man is gorgeous!” 

“i miss that gorgeous man,” you bring your knees to your chest, resting your chin between them, “i know we didn’t have to spend the brief break apart, but our media teams advised us to. you have no idea how badly i’m fighting the urge to just tell him to take the next flight to–”

yet, before you can finish your sentence, your phone vibrates on the table, notifying you that you had a new text message.

eagerly, you snatch it up, eyes scanning over the screen. 

i miss you, beautiful girl. i’m not sure where you are, but i am taking the next flight to monaco as soon as i possibly can. i should be there by tonight. could we rendezvous at my place? if you need me to pay for your own ticket, i will. just let me know.

“what did he say?” lily peers over your shoulder. 

“he’s coming to monaco,” your heart skips a beat as the realization washes over you, “wait, i’m already here! he’ll be here tonight! he wants me to meet him at his place.”

“well,” lily’s eyes glimmer, a bright smile enveloping her features, “looks like you need to eat, take a shower, and get ready missy! alex, will you start your shower for me?”

“i already heard the entire thing,” the driver tuts as he strolls onto the balcony, two plates in hand, “eat first, and then i’ll start a shower for you. from the sound of it, it seems like you’ll have a long night ahead, so you need to eat up before you get your guts rearranged.”

heat flourishes into your cheeks at his comment, “i – oh my god. you don’t know that for sure.”

“i think i do,” a smug paints his lips as he sets the plate down beside you, “there’s a reason why you’ve been so glowy and bubbly these last few weeks. i know you’re not smoking or doing any drugs, so there’s only one other thing i can think of.”

“i cannot stand you,” you mumble, sheer embarrassment taking hold. 

“and that’s why you’re sitting down,” alex lets out a chuckle, “don’t worry buttercup, the teasing is only going to get worse from here on out.”

although you were more than grateful for alex allowing you to stay with him in monaco between the two races, it did have it pitfalls. and that was one of them. ever since you told him about toto, the teasing was relentless. it was never malicious, always lighthearted. how an older brother would pester his younger sister. which, you didn’t mind. 

ever since the meeting with williams, your emotions had been nothing but a tumultuous torrent of anxiety, regret, and well, terror. 

you were terrified that toto was going to choose preserving his career over your relationship. after all, you couldn’t blame him. he was one of mercedes’ spearheads, one of the most respected and dominant forces among the paddocks in his role as ceo and team principal. 

he was a father as well, with three children whom he loved dearly. he was perceived as a family man, who often toted jack on his shoulders or brought him along with to races. additionally, you couldn’t shake the one thing that had been gnawing away at you, completely tearing you apart. 

what did susie think of you? what did she think of your relationship? was she going to try and win toto back? did she still have feelings for him? 

if they happened to meet in the time you were apart, what did she say? how did he respond? was he guilty somehow? was he going to admit to you that after seeing her, some emotions resurfaced?

god, your head was your own personal little hell. 

and who knew if you were ever going to crawl out.

however, deep in your heart, you knew that you needed to see him. you needed to tell him the very thing that had been clawing at the depths of your very conscience. 

you loved him. 

and he needed to know. 

and by god, you were determined to tell him.

well, it looked like tonight would be your perfect opportunity. 

time to prepare for the worst.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“go on, take another hit.”

your fingers pinch the rolled paper, bringing it to your mouth. lashes fluttering, you inhale, the harshness of the contents flooding your lungs, burning your throat. once you were satisfied with  the intake, you purse your lips, smoke billowing out. 

“good girl,” he hums, fingers squeezing your thigh, “i missed you, you know that?”

the corners of your lips curl into a blissful grin, “and i missed you. so much. more than you’ll ever know.”

the lights of monaco glitter in the distance, casting a soft glow over the ocean as the waves lap the shore, foam encasing the gritty shore. hints of tangerine poke out from above the horizon, promising of the sun’s arrival. the scent of marijuana lingers in the air as toto taps the joint against the tray, his brows knit together with concentration. 

above you, stars gleam, dotting the indigo hue that swathed the sky. all around, the mediterranean sea stretched for miles, the lights from various boats and yachts blinking, a gentle reminder that you were not alone.

although, you were in your own little world, utterly enamored and allured by the man beside you. 

toto arrived to monaco around eleven-thirty p.m., not arriving to his luxurious property until about midnight. although it was well later than you expected, you were bright-eyed and bushy tailed, oh so ready to reunite with the team principal. 

even though it was well past the hours he was normally up and about, he offered to take you on his yacht, where the two of you could just spend some time alone together. 

of course, it was an offer you couldn’t refuse.

especially when he mentioned that he had picked up a “special treat for his special girl.”

that treat was a tin of five pre-rolled joints, neatly packed together. the papers encasing them were oh so cute, a light blue with little fluffy, white clouds. the tin itself was to die for, with snoopy as the red baron, a cartoon bubble to his right stating, “up, up, and away!” 

his plug was definitely a woman, but you didn’t mind one bit. after all, with packaging that cute? how could you be upset? toto informed you that the tin was yours to keep, and he was more than happy to keep it filled for you. you just had to say the word, and he would contact his connection. 

smoking was probably the last thing you should be doing between races, but it wasn’t like the fia was testing the drivers regularly. even though the testing was random, toto informed you that once he got the word of any potential tests, he would find a way to let you know. 

you guys had already bent the rules enough, so why not bend them a little bit more?

“hey,” his is low, so gentle it was barely audible, “can i tell you something?”

he’s situated between your legs, spreading your thighs apart as you sit on the sundeck, the cool surface sending a shiver down your spine as it meets with heated skin. 

“of course,” you murmur, a hand connecting with his cheek, “what is it?”

“well for one, i want to fuck the shit out of you right now,” his eyes are glossy, pupils dilated as they hone in on you, “but i need to tell you something first.”

there’s a slight stubble as it grazes the pad of your thumb, his plush lips parting ever so slightly, “what is it, toto?”

he’s lowered now, his mouth hovering above your pussy, the thin fabric of your shorts the only barrier between his lips and sweet, sweet, relief. the relief he had been desperate for these last few days, pacing back and forth in his office as he attempted to maintain his composure. to keep it together. 

but here you were now, looking oh so breathtaking as the moonlight cascaded down, illuminating your skin with a beautiful silvery hue. 

you were a goddess.

 a truly divine being. the one he wanted to worship every single second, every single day for the rest of his life. the one who brought him to knees. the one who made him so utterly weak. 

he was in far too deep now, deeply lost and consumed by you. 

and god, he never wanted to go back.

even if he wanted tried, he knew he couldn’t.

and now, there was only you in this moment. 

drawing him in, coaxing him to fall even deeper. 

“i love you.” 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

taglist: @k3ira13 @prettiest-at-the-party @martwll @annewithaneofthegreengable @zoeyjadetice2010 @sinners-98-world @laura-naruto-fan1998 @nebarious @joalslibrary @statuewoman @strangegirl974 @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @m-1234 @whoisss @msbyjackal @annaaepf1 @paigelouise @bborra @upsteadsstuff @omgsuperstarg @younxii @toldyouitwasamelodrama @kravitzwhore @persona1lies @pucksandpower @gisellesprettylies @wonderwolffs @xxforeverinadayxx @theseerbetweenus @simply-the-best23 @ringdingdingdingx @swifth0lic

if you would like to be added to the taglist, let me know! as always, thank you all so much the continuous support! <3 i love y'all so much!

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Genuinely a HUGE shoutout to Nexusmods today!! /pos

So I didn't catch this, seeing as I hadn't gone on Nexusmods in the last 12 hours, but apparently today an author published a mod titled "Traditional Marriage", which took away the gay marriage options for players. But in the description, the author put TONS of homophobic bullshit and general bigotry.

And Nexusmods took it down almost IMMEDIATELY!!!

I only know of the mod's existence because of a thread I saw online where the person posting called out the mod maker's bigotry, but within around one hour of that posting, Nexusmods removed the mod completely.

Below is the screenshot of the description, which the thread copy-pasted from the mod page when it was up. But also, their commentary on the homophobic basis for this mod is GORGEOUS!!!

No, Karen, it's not a mod about "preference". It's about hating apples so much that you deleted them from your game so that you never have to see apples being sold at the general merchants or, Talos forbid, an apple pie on the table of some house you broke into in the middle of the night. Wanting to literally erase apples from existence so you never have to be confronted by the horror that other people out there prefer apples isn't "preference"; it's bigotry.

So shoutout to Nexusmods, seriously, for having deleted this mod so soon. Yes, people are and should be allowed to mod their games however they want! That's the whole point of modding! But when someone makes a mod for homophobic purposes and posts it to perpetuate homophobia, that is not ok, and that should not be permitted. Good on the site for understanding this.

And what's more is that TES, the game series for which the mod was made, has ALWAYS had LGBT+ rep in general. Hell, Vivec is gender fuckery incarnate. In ESO during the Vivec City questline, there's a woman who cries that her wife/girlfriend (don't remember which) is stuck in the rubble of the fallen temple. The Daedric Princes are all referred to as princes regardless of their gender presentation. Many of them are just... whatever the fuck eldritch horror they feel like being (looking at you, Mora and Hircine). The series is outright full of various representation for LGBT+ characters, and it always has been. One Skyrim dev even said something at one point regarding Nords which was along the lines of "The men are big, hairy and have beards. The women are big, hairy, and have beards."

TES is NOT the game to endorse bigotry in LGBT+ rep. And Nexusmods showed today that they don't endorse it anywhere on their site, either. I'm grateful for that.

[thetriumphantpanda]

one kiss is all it takes | javier peña

Take The Weight Off His Shoulders - Chapter Four

Chapter Summary | All of the tension between you & Javi comes to a head when you're gathered at the Peña ranch to celebrate Chucho's birthday.

Chapter Warnings | Consumption of food & alcohol, some angst, heavy on the flirting, discussion of drugs & the drug trade but nothing else.

Pairing | dbf!Javier Peña x F!Reader

Word Count | 3.2k

Authors Note |  Well. I am having far too much fun with these guys. I hope you guys are still enjoying this. Just wanted to give a huge shoutout to @undercoverpena for helping me brainstorm this chapter and figure it out when I was struggling and for just being my biggest hype woman. If you're enjoying this then reblogs and comments really do help and if you’d like to support me further, please consider a donation to my Ko-Fi. 

I no longer use taglists. Please follow @thetriumphantpandanotifs to be notified of new updates.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi | Series Playlist

It’s Chucho’s birthday and it feels like the entirety of Laredo has descended on the Peña ranch. He’s currently sitting on one of the chairs that’s been set out on the back porch, beer in hand, talking to some of his friends from the ranch association. You’ve already been over, wished him a happy birthday with a kiss on the cheek, and pressed a small gift bag into his hand from the rest of the family. The bag is sitting between his feet, and you know he’ll take it in with him later to open on his own. Never one for a fuss, was Chucho. 

Other townsfolk are walking around, or standing in smaller groups, drinking or eating from the spread of food everyone had contributed to. You’re currently sat with your mom, who is talking to some of the women she works with. It’s dull conversation, but you try your best to look at least semi-interested when a question is thrown your way. You’re focused on something else though. Your eyes have been searching through the sea of people for one person, and one person only. Javi. And he’s nowhere to be seen. You bring the bottle of beer you’ve been drinking to your lips, tip it up, but find it empty. 

“I’m just going to get another drink.” You mumble to excuse yourself from the group around you. 

They all smile at you but quickly return to their conversations once you start stepping away. The relief from the cool interior of the house is welcome, as you open the fridge and root through it for another drink. You close the fridge door gently, plucking the magnetic bottle opener off the front when you hear muffled voices coming from down the hall. 

“You know,” You can just make out, so you take gentle steps to the edge of the kitchen to hear better, “If you were looking for something else, we could always use you back on the force.” It’s your dad, and you bet you know exactly who he’s talking to. 

“Go back to shining lights into teenagers’ cars whilst they’re making out and busting petty criminals?” That’s definitely Javi, “That’s not really my scene anymore.” 

You can hear your dad sigh a little, “It’s not really like that anymore,” He offers, “You must know by now we’ve got some kind of drug epidemic here, we can’t seem to crack it, I bet you could blow this whole thing wide open for us.” 

Javi scoffs, you press yourself further into the wall, knowing you should walk away, this isn’t your conversation to hear, “Even more reason for me to stay away,” He answers, “I couldn’t crack it down there, and if it’s anything like that here, it’s going to go far deeper than you could ever imagine.” 

Your dad sighs again, louder this time, because he’s clearly fighting a losing battle, “Well, the offer is there, think about, huh?” 

All Javi does is grunt in response, which you think is akin to something like ‘thanks, but no thanks’, then you hear footsteps coming down the hallway. You don’t move quickly enough to dart back through the doors but do manage to make yourself as inconspicuous as possible at the kitchen island as your dad rounds the corner. 

“I didn’t know you were in here.” He speaks, fishing his own new drink out of the fridge.

“Just came to get another drink,” You smile, trying to make your voice loud enough that Javi can hear that you’re inside too, “It’s pretty hot out there.” 

Your dad clinks his bottle with yours as he moves to head back outside, “Cool off, but don’t hide away in here, okay?” 

You nod and smile as he heads back outside, but you don’t make a move to follow him. After last week, when Javi pressed his lips to your cheek, you haven’t been able to think of much else. Surely, if he’d come all the way to fetch you, brought you food and kissed your cheek, that must mean something? You’d felt absolutely crazy trying to explain it to Liv, recounting your conversation, trying to get her advice on what it meant. She’d been entirely unhelpful, telling you that you were reading too much into it, but she had told you Victor was nice, so you weren’t in the habit of trusting her at the moment. 

You stand at the kitchen island for a while, praying that he would come to you, talk to you, even just say hello, anything would do, but he doesn’t. He stays wherever he is, doing whatever he’s doing, leaving you standing there like someone had stood you up. You sigh, pick up your beer and head back outside. 

It’s probably an hour later, you’re back sitting with your mom and her friends, when he emerges from the house, his own drink in hand. He makes eye contact with you, but when you smile at him, he doesn’t return it, just turns and walks over to the first group of people he can find, almost completely ignoring your presence. It hurts, is what you think, makes your heart sink a little. 

You see him a few times over the next couple of hours as people start slowly heading off. It’s still warm outside, but the sun is starting to set, painting the ranch in a soft orange glow. Your mom and dad left about an hour ago, leaving you where you there to help tidy up. The plan had been for all of you to stay, but your mom had indulged in one too many glasses of wine and needed to nap. 

The crowd had thinned out significantly now, so you think it’s a good a time as any to try and tidy up the porch a bit. There’s a rubbish bag hanging from the railing, there’s a few actually, that you think Javi must have set out in order to keep mess to a minimum, so you start picking up the empty bottles and used paper plates, stuffing them in until it’s full. You move some of the furniture around, back to how you know Chucho likes it. 

“You don’t have to help with this.” 

You turn around, and for the first time Javi is looking at you, talking to you, but still won’t quite meet your eyes, choosing to busy himself with gathering the trash from the other side of the porch. 

“I don’t mind,” You shrug, walking over to help him out a little, picking up some more paper plates to shove into the bag, “Doesn’t seem right to leave you to tidy the place on your own after allowing half the town to come over.” 

He doesn’t really respond after that, silently shuffles around, refusing to meet your eyes. It drives you wild, because there’s no way you’d made up the signals he’d been giving in the car. No-one kisses your cheek if they don’t want you. 

Once the porch is clear of clutter, Javi makes a beeline for the trash bag that’s full, leaning down to pick it up. You follow his movements, reaching down to circle his wrist with your hand, trying to be gentle with him. You’re not expecting him to snatch his arm away from you like you’d just branded him with a hot poker. He even steps back away from you, turning his back slightly, although you can see one of his hands come to his mouth, fingers running over his facial hair and down his chin, other hand on his hip. You think you hear him mutter something under his breath that sounds a lot like ‘don’t’. 

You stand there, dumbfounded if anything. Why is he being so different with you? Hot, angry tears are forming across your waterline, because you’re embarrassed, embarrassed that you’d played into him leading you on. To try and hide the fact you’re about to cry, you turn on your heel, stomping, albeit quite dramatically, around the side of the porch when you feel him grab your wrist, pulling you around so you’re facing him. Nowhere to hide now, you think, giving him your face, letting him see the tears he’s caused. 

“What?” You spit, tearing your hand out of his grip, much like he’d done to you just moments before. 

“Just… wait.” He says hands up in defense. 

So you do, you stand there and wait, shifting your weight from foot to foot, watching as he leans back more of his weight on his back leg, hand rest on the top of his jeans, mouth opening and closing as he tries to think of what to say. 

“You know what?” You scoff, “I’m so fucking embarrassed, Javi,” You can feel your bottom lip start to wobble, more frustrated tears threatening to fall, “I thought-” You start, running a hand over your cheek to wipe away the tears that are forming, “I thought I was picking up on these signals between us,” You motion your hand between the two of you, “Thought maybe you felt the same way about me, I mean, who kisses someone’s cheek and tells them there’s nothing wrong with them if they don’t mean it, right?” You can hear yourself, sniffling through the tears, voice getting quicker and higher in pitch as he just… stands there, “God,” You chuckle, “I really thought I’d stop embarrassing myself at some point, but clearly fucking not.” 

He's still not saying anything, and you’re sick to death of making yourself feel and look like a fool in front of him, so you turn on your heel again, walking away, when yet again his hand circles your wrist and pulls you back to him, but this time, you don’t stop by just turning around to him, he’s tugging at you, pulling you closer, and then all of a sudden his lips are on yours. It’s quick, almost over before you can even register what’s happened, but there was no mistaking the feel of his lips pressed to yours. The tickle of the hair on his upper lip against the skin under your nose. 

When he pulls away, you’re dumbfounded, mouth open in shock, “You kissed me.” Is all you can say, voice high with shock. 

“I did.” 

“Then what the fuck was all that back there?” You ask, incredulous and confused, head spinning with what’s going on. 

All he does is shrug, seemingly unable to explain himself, which makes you more annoyed. Is he fucking with you? All you wish he would do is tell you what the fuck is going on in his brain, what he’s thinking, why he’s behaving in this way. 

“Tell me,” You demand, “Tell me, or I’m going to get in my car and leave.” 

And he’s standing there, and you think you can see the cogs working behind his eyes. His mouth is doing that thing again where it opens and closes without him saying anything. He brings a hand up to brush over his brow, but he still doesn’t say anything. You’d had enough. If he didn’t have the decency to be frank with you, like you’d been with him, then you guess you had your answer. 

For the third time that evening, you turn around and start walking, heading for the steps at the front of the house. He doesn’t try and grab your wrist this time, doesn’t try and touch you, but you can hear his footsteps behind you. You can see your car in front of you, you reach into the pocket of your shorts, fingers hitting the keys when you finally hear his voice. 

“I’m trying to be good, alright?” He calls out to you, “Better,” he offers then, “I’m trying to be better and I just…. Fuck, I hate this.” 

And really that’s all you needed. You needed him to try. To try and explain his behaviour, to tell you why he was giving you these mixed signals. So you turn, walk the few steps back towards him, take his face in your hands and plant a kiss right on his lips. 

It’s like it breaks the dam that the two of you had been trying to hold back, because his hands are on your back, one resting just above the waistband of your shorts, the other fisting at the material between your shoulder blades as he really kisses you this time. Your hands drop to the collar of his shirt, pulling him in closer as you open your mouth against his, let his tongue finally touch yours, pressing your body as close to his as you can possibly get it. You can feel the tension of your shirt being pulled from behind. It’s like he has to fist the material because he wants to touch you, wants to put his hands on your skin under the material, but knows he can’t. 

When you pull away, both breathless, he leans down, rests his forehead to yours, eyes closed. 

“I don’t want you to be good, Javi,” You whisper, “I want you to want me.” 

He opens his eyes then, big chocolate orbs that are pleading with you, “I do,” He answers honestly, “I want you so much, querida, and that’s the problem.” 

“I know.” You try and soothe, but really, it’s all lost now isn’t it, there’s no going back from here. 

Almost like you both finally realise you’re in the open air at the same time, you both step away from each other. Your hands coming to pull your shirt back into position, Javi doing the same with the collar of his shirt. You run your thumb over your bottom lip where you can feel the wetness from the kiss, wiping it away. 

“I should go,” You say softly, motioning your head to the car, and he doesn’t argue, because he knows you should too, because if you stay here there’s only one thing that can happen, “See you around.” 

Like it’s now his signature move, his hand circles your wrist, turning you back to him, “Call me?” He asks, “Call me tonight?” 

You smile, “Okay, I’ll speak to you later.” 

You weren’t really sure how long you were supposed to wait to call him. You got in and your mom was already in bed out for count, your dad sat in front of the TV, cold beer in hand, watching some kind of sports. 

“You help Javi clean up?” He asks as you throw your keys in the dish on the side table. 

You try not to bite at your lip, try not to focus on the heat rising across your cheek, “I did,” You confirm, walking over to the fridge to pick out your own drink, “Most people had already thrown their stuff away, so it didn’t take long.” 

You sit with him for a while, sipping slowly on the drink, trying to quell the memories of his lips on yours, the way he had tasted and the way his hand had fisted so tightly at the back of your shirt. It was everything you’d wanted it to be, all those years of wondering what it would be like, and now you knew, and all you wanted was to know what else he could do, how else he could make you feel. 

Once your drink is done, you give your dad a chaste kiss on the cheek, bid him goodnight, and spend the next hour pacing, trying to concentrate on reading, before you give up. You reach into your bag and pull out the card. Run your fingers over the name embossed there. You pick up the receiver on your nightstand, punch the number in and press call. 

This time, he answers on the first ring, like he’s been sitting around waiting for you to call, just as much as you have. 

“Hello.” You speak timidly, leaning back onto the pillows of your bed, switching the handset to the other ear so you’ll be able to hear anyone wandering around outside. 

“Evening, hermosa.” He croons back to you, but doesn’t offer anything else. 

You sit there for a moment, listening to him breath down the phone, reveling in the fact that he’s doing the same, until it gets to be a little awkward. You start speaking right at the same time as he does, which makes you both pause to let the other carry on, but it only works to make you both laugh. 

“You go first.” He prompts. 

You take a deep breath, “I’m sorry,” You muse, “For how I was earlier.”

“You don’t need to say sorry,” He replies softly, “I’m sorry for being shit at talking about things.” 

There’s another pause, but it’s more comfortable this time, “So…” You trail off, “You kissed me.” It’s whispered, almost like it’s some terribly sordid secret, which you suppose it is really. 

“I did,” He confirms, and you’d like to think he’s smiling on the other end of the phone, “Wanted to do more than just kiss you.” He admits at the end. 

“Oh,” It comes out a little like a gasp, “Why didn’t you?” 

“I told you,” Javi replies with a little sigh, “I’m trying to be good, trying to be a gentleman.” 

“What if I don’t want you to be a gentleman?” You offer. 

“What do you want me to be?” 

You giggle a little, “You sound like I’m paying you to say these things to me,” You hear him scoff at the other end, “I just want to know what you wanted to do to me that didn’t involve kissing me.” 

“Oh, hermosa,” You hear him make a ‘tsk’ sound through the receiver, “I would have kissed you, and then some,” You can hear him shifting around on the other end, “Wanted to put my hands all over you, make you feel good.” 

You bite your bottom lip a little, wanting nothing more than to let your hand wander below the waistband of your shorts, but there’s that little bubble of anxiety that always seems to make itself known to you when you get yourself into conversations like this, your lack of experience, lack of knowledge really, in how any of this is meant to work. 

“I wanted you to do that too,” You admit, “But…” You trail off, not really wanting to admit this to him right now. 

“But what, hermosa?” He coaxes. 

“I’m just-” You sigh, “I don’t have a lot of experience in this stuff, you’ll have to be patient with me.” 

You don’t know what you expect him to say, but it certainly isn’t what he says, “You want me to teach you, huh?” He asks, “Show you what you’ve been missing with those college boys?” 

Your breath catches in your throat, because he’s so right. You want to know what it’s like for someone else to take you apart. You want to know what it’s like when someone sinks into you and really cares about how you feel. You want to know what it’s like to feel someone else’s mouth on you. You want to know what it’s like to curl into someone’s side once all is said and done and fall asleep with someone’s arm wrapped around you, and you want all that with him. 

“I do.” You reply simply. 

“Then say no more,” There’s another silence, “I should let you go,” He says, “But I’ll see you soon, okay?” You hum in response, “And, um, don’t worry okay?” You’re about to ask about what, but you think you know what he’s getting at, “Just… probably best we don’t say anything to anyone, but don’t worry about it, alright?” 

“Okay,” Is your response, because what else is there to really say, “Goodnight Javi.” 

“Goodnight, querida,” He says back, “Sweet dreams.” 

[alittleemo]

crazy update just got told a friend of mine actively realized she was bisexual while watching this production !!!!!!!! another win for the bi community hoyly shit

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! my friend j found an upload of the insane version of chicago my hs put on our senior year omfg i cant wait to rewatch it

[my-mt-heart]

Thoughts on TBOC 202

I'm not going to do a full review of this episode because it would require a rewatch and frankly I have no desire to rewatch anything more than Carol's clips online. Here are a few thoughts though...

Melissa McBride is amazing. She gives me goosebumps even when she's performing Carol's composed side. I never would've given this episode a try if it weren't for her (and if it weren't for @that-left-turn letting me know exactly when to tap out before Daryl's character went through the shredder AND if it weren't for the episode leaking early so I wouldn't have to give AMC my money for that unforgivable narrative choice). She and Carol deserved so much fucking better than a really heartfelt arc being upended by the carelessness in Daryl's arc.

Shoutout to Manish Dayal, who is a wonderful addition to the show despite Ash being whitewashed and made a victim of Zabel's gross misrepresentation of women as manipulative and weak for men.

Special shoutout to Clémence Poésy for still delivering strong performances despite her character being reduced to something straight of out of the "TV book of tricks" and for speaking out about it the only way women in the industry can. If only the men in charge understood the power of silence the way she and Melissa do. They'd be doing themselves and us a huge favor.

A sincere fuck you and how dare you to every man in power on this show who used Daryl for whatever personal agenda they had and ignored every fan (Daryl, Caryl, Rickyl, and GA alike) shouting and pleading with them since the S1 finale not to take away what made Daryl special. His loyalty. His unconventional masculinity. His devotion to Carol. His devotion to his family. He was a role model to so many men and women, a man of honor. He was supposed to be different from the toxic men many of his fans have had to face in their own lives. He was supposed to be the man who didn’t hurt them. But instead of acknowledging that he has, that he’s fully unrecognizable now, the male EPs kick fans while they're down. They gaslight them into thinking it's their fault for not understanding "art" when they see it and they tell us repeatedly that we're not welcome to our favorite characters anymore. Case in point, Zabel's entire SFX interview. Nicotero saying they don't write the show for the fans. Norman trying to cyberbully fans who are upset, or rather encourage his diehards to do it for him. Shame on all three of them and shame on AMC for letting them do whatever they want no matter how much it hurts their bottom line.

I believe it's possible to redeem Daryl, but only under a different showrunner who actually values his trajectory on the flagship show, understands his nuances, and respects his fans. In the meantime, I feel like I'm mourning him.

(Note: Gimple does not qualify as a different showrunner)

[sad-endings-suck]

blue eye samurai popped off so hard in every department, but this post specifically is a shoutout to the character designers who manage to put so much personality, life, and uniqueness into each and every character to create a signature art style, while still maintaining realistic-like proportions and features that are more reminiscent of live action than animation.

not a single character with speaking lines or more than 3 secs of screen-time looks anything like any other character unless it’s intentional (i.e. resemblance between family members). not only are there so many different body types, but no one’s body is ridiculously proportioned. some characters are very thin (heiji), others are very large (shogun’s emissary), some are quite powerfully built (chiaki)… but then there’s everything else in between!! mizu is very lean and androgynous, and she definitely has muscles, but she’s not ridiculously skinny, nor does she greatly lack softness in her torso, hips, and chest. mizu very much has a woman’s body, her proportions are just not exaggerated to make her look overtly masculine or overtly feminine. unlike some other animes that would absolutely give mizu ridiculously defined muscle mass and 8-pack abs, or maybe a 10 inch waist and huge boobs (that she magically hid completely with some diy fabric bindings and a dream) and then credit those choices to “art style”.

ringo is on the bigger softer side physique-wise, and his body is a perfectly normal human body that any normal person may potentially have! akemi and taigen are both conventionally attractive within the story, but even still, neither is the perfect personification of masculine or feminine “beauty”. yes akemi is very petite and slim, with a more hourglass shape, but she still very much has a body type that some real people naturally have. she has a stomach! and i don’t mean that she has a protruding stomach, i just mean her stomach actually exists. so does mizu’s, even if they both have small flat stomachs, they still very much don’t have itty bitty anime waists. though they are both slender women, they have actual room for organs and ribs in their torsos!! or on the other end of things, there’s taigen, who may be very athletically built, but again, it’s not to an impossible degree or standard. he still very much has the build of a real human person, not a comic book hero with a 12-pack. even fowler, who is on the heavier-set side (presumably from his lifestyle, surviving famine, etc) also has strength to his build that many other characters do not, indicating he does keep up with his training and is very much physically dangerous.

and that’s just the body diversity! we are shown characters and character models of young adults, mature adults, babies, seniors, young children, older children, teens, etc. women in their 40s/50s/60s (madame kaji, lady itoh, “mama”).

hell, the fact that the art style can be so consistent throughout, and yet akemi looks like she’s been rendered in watercolours, whereas taigen appears as if he’s been painted with acrylic is crazy!! or how well the show is able to convey that mizu very much looks like a woman, yet it also convincingly shows us how she’s able to pass as a man through a slew of details is amazing. such as her more androgynous features, her height, a scarf to hide her lack of adam’s apple, hat to conceal her features, orange tinted glasses the cancel out the blue of her eyes, baggy pants and boxy top to hide her silhouette, poncho and sword positioned to give the illusion she takes up more space in the world LIKE A MAN WOULD and so much more.

It’s just so beautiful to see, not only because it speaks to the skill of the creatives and the level of care and attention to detail with which this story was clearly made, but also because it proves you don’t have to “choose” between a distinct art/animation style and diversity. by combining animation and live action, and using the best aspects of both, blue eye samurai has managed to capture something that no other animated production I’ve seen, has (no, not even arcane). and that is allowing the personhood and character of a live action actor/model to come through in the character they are portraying. no matter how much beautiful animation i watch, there is almost always some level of “default” face, body type, height, or facial features that are consistent across every character, and blue eye samurai proves that this is not just due to “art style”. it’s a limitation of the medium of animation (to an extent), or at least, it was.

we live in an era where plastic surgery, photo/video retouching, workout supplements, trendy scheme diets, beauty consumerism, etc, are at an all time high. so it’s such a relief to see an animated project of all things choose to reflect real human appearances in its work, and not only that, but do so without ever commenting on it. as an animated project, it could “beautify” its characters as much as it likes to make them all same-face/same-body conventionally attractive, and excuse it as their “art style”. but blue eye samurai does not do that. they said “no, we can do better. we can do way better” and they did. the way bes is shot leaves no room for women (or anyone) to be sexualized or objectified, regardless of how much nudity and sex there is in the show. it demonstrates that sexuality and sexualisation are in no way inherently synonymous. there are no unnecessary comments about a character’s body that feel off or not in tune with the social perceptions of the time period in which the story is set. it’s just amazing to see.

[highlights-of-the-lowlife]

so code pink is doing another media blitz in the run up to the US election. their demands are ceasing all aid to ukraine, refusing any new membership to nato and ending all sanctions on russia. but don't worry they aren't pro russia, a state that is stealing children and using sexual violence as torture,

because they politely asked russian soldiers to leave.

problem fucking solved.

just as a contrast i'm gonna give a huge shoutout to ukrainian women who have volunteered to fight in this brutal war. ukrainian women are some of the bravest medics rushing into bullets and artillery because russians deliberately target medics. ukrainian women are some of the most feared snipers, drone operators, artillery operators and armoured vehicle crews.

there have been so many women volunteers that a whole new uniform has been made to fit women better. so many misinformation peddlers are claiming that this is a draft but its the exact opposite. its ukrainian women knowing the hell that is the war ravaging their families and doing their damndest to stop it.

slava ukraini

[lumi-nescentt]

Rumor Has It

Part 4 - A Single Thread Of Gold Tied Me To You

Pairing: Jenson Button x Reader / Mark Webber x Reader

Warnings: Mark, yes that's a warning in itself in this

Words: 4.8k

Summary: Now that you and Mark are done, you're free to explore whatever's between you and Jenson. It's not as easy as you thought between expectation and ghosts of your past actions still lingering around.

A/N: Shoutout to my ex who actually said to me some of the stuff Mark said in this chapter. At least they gave me writing material on top of self-worth issues so it's not all bad :) Also thank you to the person who asked for a part 4 and sorry it took so long, hope you like it <3

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Leaving Mark had been hard. You had grown into the woman you were now alongside the Australian and despite how bad things had turned out, the two of you still had history. It had never crossed your mind that what you had with Mark could one day become a bother because you had once thought you’d stay together for a very long time. 

Since your break up, and especially since it had been made public, everyone seemed to think they were entitled to have their opinion on your past relationship and to make it known to you. You couldn’t lie and say it was easy for you because despite not knowing much about what happened, almost everyone was siding with Mark and that hurt. 

The world of motorsports was already harsh enough on women but after this whole breakup, you felt it more than ever. Thankfully, you loved your job enough to push through all the comments about how you ruined the only good thing in your life. Jenson had been a huge support mentally and even physically when he could get away from his responsibilities as a driver.

Not wanting to make the same mistake you made with Mark, you had decided to try and explore what you felt for the Brit in private and Jenson didn’t mind in the slightest. You kept to yourself in the paddock but as soon as it was just the two of you in the comfort of the hotel, he was by your side for as long as you wanted him to. 

Jenson knew you were still hurting a little and the last thing he wanted was to make you rush into a relationship you were not ready for yet so for months, all he did was be there as a friend when you needed him. He never tried anything again and the kiss you shared the night you broke up with Mark was the only action either of you had for a long while.

As much as you appreciated the thought, having him this close and yet this far was starting to be a torture and you were growing restless. The kiss was haunting you, that was the only way to put it. Since every hotel room you stayed in looked pretty much the same, you couldn’t escape the memory even if you tried. 

A part of you was almost starting to believe you imagined it and that same part of you sounded strangely similar to Mark. It was there in the back of your mind, telling you Jenson didn’t like you despite every sign and every action saying otherwise. Maybe if the breakup had been more recent, you’d have listened to it more but lately you could hear yourself think clearly again. 

It was a relief, feeling at peace with who you were, after years of not feeling enough for your boyfriend and for yourself. You were growing more comfortable and people seemed to notice how their comments started to roll off your back because they were getting fewer and fewer as time passed. You were walking in the paddock with your chin up high, smiling at the people you once knew and the one you still talked to, life was getting better. 

You felt ready to put your time with Mark behind you for good and look towards the future, most importantly towards Jenson. Now you just had to show the Brit it was okay to make a move, that you wanted him back, entirely. Luckily for you, the Monaco GP was coming up and that gave you the perfect excuse to spend some alone time with the Brit.

After arranging it with the man himself, you were calling work to tell them you wouldn’t be needing a hotel room in Monte-Carlo anymore. Jenson seemed to want to spend time with you too because he asked you to come at the beginning of the week instead of on Thursday morning like you usually did. 

As soon as the plane landed, you were rushing out of the plane and then out of the airport, into the taxi until you were finally in front of Jenson’s door with flushed cheeks and a bright smile. The Brit opened the door and before he had time to process what was happening, you had thrown your arms around him, hugging him tightly.

-“ Well, hello love ! Missed me much ?” Jenson said before his laugh echoed through the hallway, making his whole chest shake

-“ I actually did but sorry for jumping on you like that.” you stepped away from the hug, straightening your clothes

-“ No need to apologise, you know ?”

-“ Oh, sorry.” 

-“ y/n…” Jenson sighed with a smile

-“Sor–” 

-“ Don’t even finish that sentence, I’m not kidding.” Jenson threatened, covering your mouth with his hand

-“ I won’t, or maybe I will, who knows ?” you teased before slipping past him and getting inside as Jenson followed you with a grin

The first few hours were spent in this cheerful mood, the both of you teasing each other and laughing until you couldn’t breathe anymore. Despite the pretty chill ambiance, you felt like Jenson was almost walking on eggshells around you. Whenever you were physically close, you could feel his whole body grow tense and the grown man next to you suddenly seemed to forget what to do with his own hands.  

It was a little cute at first, it wasn’t very often that you could see the Brit all flustered. Jenson was usually so confident, the whole thing was endearing. However, that didn’t change the fact that you wanted something to happen but with how stressed he looked, you weren’t sure if it was the right time and you were growing a little frustrated. The whole idea behind this trip had been to make a move or to get him to make one and it didn’t seem to be happening on its own so you thought taking the matter into your own hands was the right thing to do. 

After dinner, you asked Jenson if you could drive to the top of Monaco to see the sunset. The Brit immediately agreed and the two of you jumped into the car quickly, hoping you wouldn’t miss it. The drive was pretty quiet, Jenson was doing his best to get there on time and you were just looking at the scenery, taking in the view. 

You were still doing that when Jenson parked the car. Not wanting to disrupt you, he stayed silent and decided to look at you instead, taking advantage of the fact your attention was elsewhere. You soon realised that it was dead silent and turned around to look at the Brit, only to be met by his eyes already on you. 

-“ You know the sunset is that way, right ?” you joked, pointing at the sun disappearing behind the horizon

-“ I know.” 

-“ Why are you looking that way, then ?” 

-“ I don’t know, the view’s pretty this way too.” he just shrugged, suddenly looking very interested by the sunset

-“ The view or me ?” 

-“ Both. You.” he paused “Mostly you.” Jenson confessed, still looking away

-“ Look at me, Jenson.”

-“ Why ?”

-“ Just do, please.” you asked again, turning around on your seat to face him completely

-“ I’m looking at you now.” 

-“ I’m gonna ask you a question and I need you to answer honestly, okay ?” 

-“ Sounds serious. I’m not in trouble, am I ?”

-“ You’re not, I promise.” 

-“ Okay, go on then. Ask away.” Jenson smiled timidly

-“ Do you still like me ?” 

-“ What ?” 

-“ Do you still fancy me ? Like me as more than a friend ?” 

-“ Yeah of course, why are you asking that ?” 

-“ Just making sure we’re on the same page.” Jenson looked at you with a confused expression, “ I like you, Jense.” 

-“ Are you sure ?” 

-“ What do you mean, am I sure ? Of course I am, I wouldn’t be telling you this if I wasn’t.” 

-“ So this is not because you feel pressured because you know about my feelings ?” Jenson asked, making sure he was understanding what you were saying correctly

-“ No it’s not. I like you because you’re caring, funny, you’re a great friend who’s always here for me when no one else is and not to mention how devilishly handsome and charming you are. That’s why I like you, among other things of course.”

-“ You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say this, y/n.” 

-“ Maybe you could show me how happy you are then ?” you suggested with a raise of your eyebrows

-“ I mean I could tell you how much I like you but I thought you already kne–”

-“ Jenson ?” you interrupted him, cupping his face with your hands “ Just kiss me please.” 

The Brit finally stopped rambling and pressed his lips against yours. If you had found the first kiss already perfect, this one somehow topped it. Maybe it was the fact that you were finally free to love him or maybe the memory of how good it actually had been had faded but this was definitely the best kiss you had ever shared. 

The sunset was long forgotten as you kept kissing, smiling against his lips when Jenson’s hand came to rest on your neck, pressing you even more against him. It seemed like he had been a little too enthusiastic as your elbow that had been on the centre console slipped and you almost fell on him. Forced to separate from each other, you only looked at him with a happy smile before snickering at the situation. 

The ride back to his place felt lighter and from the corner of your eyes, you could see that Jenson was smiling giddily, tapping his finger happily on the wheel to the beat of the soft music playing. You looked pretty much the same, a dazed smile plastered on your face as you kept remembering every second of the kiss. 

Stuck in your own pleasant thoughts, you didn’t realise Jenson had parked the car until he was opening your door, offering you his hand to help you stand up. It was a sweet gesture and as much as you didn’t want to compare the two, you couldn’t help but note that Mark had never done that in the years you’d been dating. 

As quick as the Australian had came into your mind, he left and you focused back on the man in front of you. Since he had helped you out of the car, Jenson hadn’t let go of your hand, intertwining your fingers and rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand for the whole elevator ride. If he got to decide, Jenson wouldn’t have let go of it again but when he saw you yawn softly, trying to hide it, he ushered you to the bathroom to get ready for bed. 

When you came out, Jenson was standing against the opposite wall, smiling when he saw you. Without a word, you followed the Brit to what you assumed was going to be the bedroom. You knew you were right when he opened the door and a huge bed came into your view. The room was beautiful and comfy, that was undeniable but you couldn’t help but think it lacked some life. It didn’t look as if someone slept there most of their nights at all. Blaming it on the fact that Jenson was away a lot, you shrugged it off before turning to face the Brit who had just cleared his throat. 

-“ Well… What do you think ?” 

-“ It’s very nice in here, it seems cosy.” you said, sitting on the bed

-“ I’m glad you like it. Do you need anything else ?” 

-“ Nope. Just you.” you smiled coyly as the Brit’s cheeks went red

-“ Alright, I think that’s my cue then.” Jenson laughed before taking a few steps towards the door

-“ Wait ! You’re not staying ?”

-“ I thought you were joking about that.” 

-“ And I thought that was your room.” you explained, just as confused

-“ Oh no, that’s the guest bedroom. Mine is the door right across.” Jenson pointed at the door behind him that was slightly ajar

-“ Do you mind if I–?” 

-“ Not at all, go on.” he scoffed, getting out of the doorway as you stood up and made your way to his bedroom “Please do honestly. I wouldn’t have dared to ask.” 

Surely enough, when you entered this bedroom it looked way more like what you expected Jenson’s bedroom to look like. The room was pretty neat apart from a pair of jeans and a polo on the back of an armchair and a blanket hastily thrown over the duvet. 

You took the time to walk around the room, letting your fingers run across the furniture as you did. You stopped in front of the small desk next to the balcony door, smiling when you saw that most of the space was taken by picture frames. Crouching so you could see better, you noticed a few pictures of his parents, his sisters and what you could only assume were his nieces and nephews, smiling when you saw Jenson holding a tiny baby in the crook of his arm with the biggest grin. 

-“ That’s my sister’s daughter. Her name’s Lea.” Jenson’s voice interrupted your contemplation, his fingers tracing over the baby’s frame

-“ She’s adorable.”

-“ I know right ? She’s the only kid that didn’t start crying the moment her mom put her in my arms, she’s a sweetheart.” he laughed, remembering the fear that had filled him when the first baby cried in his arms

-“ Well, I think Lea has great taste.” you smiled, turning around so you could face him and placing a soft kiss on his lips before going back to looking at the frames, picking the last one

-“ What’s this picture ?” 

-“ You don’t remember ?” you shook your head, still trying to figure out where it came from “ It was the night the 2009 season ended, you know when we went out and I kissed you ?” 

-“ Yeah, I remember that but I have no memory of that picture being taken.” you admitted again 

-“ You were dancing with Hanna when Fernando and I bumped into you. I was apparently very happy to see you again since I lifted you in my arms the moment I saw you. And you seemed to like that because I had never seen you smile as big as in the picture with you in my arms.” 

-“ It’s a really beautiful picture, do you have another copy that I could take home ?” 

-“ I don’t but I’ll just find the original picture Hanna sent me and we can go print it.” 

-“ Hanna sent it to you ?” 

-“ Yes, she’s the one that took it.” 

-“ She never told me or said anything about it.”

-“ Maybe she just assumed there was no need to since you chose Mark.”

-“ Oh, you’re probably right.” you sighed, looking at your feet

-“ Darling, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I mentioned him, it was stupid of me. Please forget what I just said.” Jenson immediately apologised when he saw your shoulders drop slightly 

-“ It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” 

-“ y/n, look at me please.” 

Slowly, you turned around to face him, still looking at your shoes. Jenson was having none of it and after carefully placing his fingers under your chin, he raised your head until your eyes met his. 

-“ I’m not blaming you for choosing Mark. I don’t care about him. All I care about is that you’re here with me and you’re no longer miserable because of that sod.” 

-“ You promise ?” 

-“ I promise you.” Jenson nodded, before kissing your forehead and pulling you into a hug

When he felt you yawn against his chest, Jenson said that it was definitely time to go to bed and let you settle in his bed before joining you. The two of you lasted 5 seconds on opposite sides of the bed before you turned around to face him and snuggled your face against his chest as his arm rested over your waist, keeping you close. It was a nice feeling. Unlike kissing him which made your heart race at insane speeds, sleeping next to him was soothing and you found yourself quickly drifting off to sleep with a relaxed smile. 

As much as you had enjoyed the parenthesis of living in your own bubble in Jenson’s apartment, you couldn’t stay there forever and you had to eventually go back to work. Working in Formula 1 never felt like a chore, even when you were knackered, you still loved the ambiance of the buzzing paddock and it was even more true when it came to Monaco. 

In your years travelling across the globe, you could attest that there was truly no place on earth to match the vibes of the principality, especially during the Grand Prix. These streets were made for racing, a beating heart of the sport that made everyone, fan or not, hold their breath in anticipation when the cars came bursting out of the tunnel and into the chicane. 

Even when the cars weren’t racing, the whole city was vibrating with energy as luxurious cars and even more luxurious guests paraded around. It should have been easy to get lost in all the frivolity and superficial things around but trapped between the mountains and the sea, Monaco stayed beautiful to those who knew where to go when the glitz and the glam became too much. 

You and Jenson had always been one of those people who knew how to balance the high end life of Monaco and the simpler things to enjoy which made it a very dear place in your heart. This weekend when you entered the paddock, it all felt lighter and your colleagues could tell from your relaxed face and the content smile you were proudly showing. 

You hadn’t been able to come at the same time as Jenson but he had promised to meet up for lunch so instead of looking at your watch every five minutes, hoping to make time pass faster, you decided to really focus on your work which you knew would make lunch come sooner. It was actually the first time in a while where you felt like yourself again at work and the drivers could tell too apparently. Some of them politely said you seemed in a good mood when others you knew better like Daniel were even happier to see you beaming and hugged you. 

Chatting with the smiley Australian had taken up the rest of your time before your break so you started heading towards the meeting point you and Jenson had previously agreed on. You got your phone out of your bag to text him and tell him you were on your way when you bumped into someone, immediately apologising for not looking at where you were going. 

-“ It’s okay, I should have paid attention to the people around me too.” the person you had hit said, the distinctive voice making your head snap up to look at him

-“ Mark. What are you doing here ?” 

-“ I’m here with Channel 4, they had an open spot as a commentator so I thought I’d give it a go.” 

-“ Oh, okay. That’s nice.” you said with a tight smile, looking around for an excuse to leave without seeming rude 

-“ I know I’m probably the last person you want to see these days but I was wondering if we could talk ?” 

-“ I’m in a bit of a rush, actually.” you tried, taking a step to the side already

-“ Please y/n. It’ll take a minute and then I’ll get out of your hair if you want me to.” he pleaded, using the voice he knew you couldn’t resist to when you had been together

-“ Fine but make it quick.” you sighed, crossing your arms 

-“ I know I wasn’t really nice to you the last time we talked–” you rolled your eyes at the understatement making him blush in embarrassment “I was a real arse and you didn’t deserve it.”

-“ I know that, Mark. If all you wanted to tell me is stuff I’m already aware of, I think I’m going to go.” 

-“ I’m not done, hold on.” he answered quickly, trying to grab your waist in an attempt to make you stay before you jerked your arm away from him

-“ Don’t touch me.” you almost snarled, feeling anger rise slowly 

-“ This isn’t how I saw this conversation going.” he muttered, scratching his beard

-“ Well what did you expect, Mark ? I’m not going to welcome you with open arms and pretend like it’s totally fine between us because that’s simply not the case.”

-“ I don’t know, I just thought you’d be nicer honestly.” 

-“ Excuse me ?” 

-“ That sounded wrong, forget what I just said.” 

-“ No ! You don’t get to say messed up stuff and then tell me to forget it. I don’t owe you anything so if you think I’m going to be all nice to you because we’re in public, think again.” 

-“ I just came here to talk about us, I didn’t want to argue. I promise.” the Australian tried to justify himself

-“ Mark. There’s no us. It’s been months since we broke up and if I’m completely honest, there was no us from the moment you shoved your tongue down someone else’s throat while we were together.” you spat, not realising how loud the two of you were now talking, attracting the attention of everyone around.

Jenson, who had been walking to meet you, had just come into earshot of your conversation and upon hearing the way your voice was getting more high-pitched and irritated by the second, he pushed through the crowd and came to stand by your side in an instant. Not even looking at who you were talking to, Jenson put himself in the middle, looking at you carefully.

-“ Is everything okay, love ?” 

-“ It’s okay Jense, I’m handling this. I’ll be with you in a second.” you smiled before looking at the Australian standing behind

Getting out of the way, Jenson finally got to look at the person you had been talking to and he felt his body grow rigid when he was met with the face of his old friend who looked just as spooked by the sighting. 

-“ Why is he always here ?” Mark asked, visibly annoyed

-“ Because I actually want him to be there and he doesn’t act like my presence irritates him.” 

-“ I’m sure that time will come.” he mumbled under his breath, hoping you hadn’t heard

-“ You know what ? This is just a waste of my time. I don’t need to hear the words of a pathetic cheater. I don’t care what you wanted to say to ease your conscience, Mark, so you can take your apology and shove it up your arse.” you roared, wrapping Jenson’s hand in yours before storming away, leaving the Australian dumbfounded in the middle of a crowd who was now giving him dirty looks

You didn’t stop walking until you saw an empty lunch table and dragged Jenson to sit next to you on the bench, letting your head fall on his shoulder with a long sigh. Your hand was still holding Jenson’s and you felt his thumb trace soothing shapes on the back of it not daring to break the silence just yet. After a few moments without moving or saying a thing, you felt the Brit moving, turning to look at you. 

-“ How are you feeling ?” 

-“ I don’t know. I feel angry at him but also relieved because I don’t think he’ll try to talk to me again.” 

-“ He’d be even stupider than I thought if he tried. You looked pretty convincing out there and he definitely deserved what he got.” 

-“ Are you sure ? I didn’t want to cause a scene but he made me so enraged I just snapped.” 

-“ He got what was coming for him so don’t feel bad. It was totally justified.” 

-“ I don’t know. I don’t like to be mean…” you sighed, putting your head in your hands for a second

-“ You’re not a mean person, love. If you had to get mad for him to understand, it’s his fault not yours.” 

-“ Thanks, handsome.” you smiled, trying to make the conversation lighter, jokingly bumping your shoulder with his

-“ Well that’s new…” he smirked, his cheeks a subtle shade of pink

-“ What, you don’t like it ?” you teased

-“ I love it actually but it’s making me want to do things that I don’t know you’re comfortable with.” 

-“ Ooh, cheeky.” you laughed freely

-“ Not that, you pervert ! I meant kissing you.” the Brit blushed even harder

-“ Oh well I mean I’d be okay with that. If you’re okay with it too, of course.”

-“ Really ? I don’t want to put you in trouble or to have people criticise you or anything.” 

-“ It’s pretty strange but if I really think about it, I don’t really care about that. Like I’d rather be able to kiss you and be happy than worry about what people will think and not do something I want.” 

-“ You’re amazing, you know that ?” 

-“ Had to get at your level, handsome. Now please, can I kiss you ?” 

-“ If I ever say no to that, please take me to the doctor.” Jenson grinned before brushing your cheek with his hand and pressing his lips against yours 

You smiled against his lips, biting his bottom lip teasingly before pulling away and acting normally, asking him about what he wanted to eat as he gazed at you mesmerised. You were both so lost in each other that you didn’t pay attention to anything around you. Not to the German driver who was coming your way with a smirk or to the tall Australian staring daggers at you from across the paddock.

If ignoring Mark was easy, ignoring Seb wasn’t. As soon as he had seen the two of you kissing, he had changed his path and planted himself in front of you with a knowing grin. 

-“ Well, well, well… What do we have here ?” he teased 

-“ You see Seb, when two people really like each other sometimes they want to press their lips together to show how much they appreciate the other one.” Jenson started

-“ Thank for that very helpful insight mate. I actually have a girlfriend so trust me I know.” he winked at you, making you roll your eyes with a smile

-“ Who says we’re not dating ?” you asked the German as Jenson looked at you, mouth agape

-“ Jenson’s face when you just asked me that.” 

-“ Fair enough.” you admitted, looking at the Brit before lacing your fingers together

-“ More seriously, it’s nice to see the two of you happy. You deserve it.” 

-“ Thank you, Seb.” Jenson smiled as you thanked his friend

Sebastian would have loved to stay chatting but just like you were on a lunch date with the Brit, he was actually on his way to meet up with Hanna so he quickly left you alone, not before promising to get together later to “know all about your blossoming relationship” according to him. 

The conversation with the German driver wasn’t the last one you had about your new relationship with Jenson over the course of the weekend. Everyone you knew in the paddock seemed to have seen or heard about your altercation with Mark or the kiss you had shared later on. Maybe the woman you were when you were dating Mark would have minded that people seemed so interested in your relationship but you find that it didn’t bother you at all. 

Even though you wanted to keep your personal life mostly private, you were more than happy to say that Jenson was a real gentleman who made you feel on top of the world and if the word “love” came into your mind when you were telling all these people about him, that was something you’d deal with later.

Maybe you’d tell Jenson later on that day when you got back to his place and settled in his bed, wrapped up in his arms. Or maybe you’d blurt it out the next morning over a shared breakfast overlooking the marina, the sun hitting his face perfectly as he laughed at something you said. Perhaps, you’d tell him on your next date after extending your stay in Monaco until you had to leave for the next race alongside Jenson. 

No matter the scenario, there was no doubt in your heart that Jenson’s reaction would be genuine and if the way he looked at you was any indication, you were pretty convinced the feeling was mutual. After all, would he have waited 6 years for you if he wasn’t smitten in love with the pretty journalist that had caught his heart in a single interaction all those years ago ? Probably not… The most important thing was that you were no longer scared of what the future held because you knew that one way or another, Jenson would be by your side and that was enough to reassure you.