#and also edna pontellier <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[mashmouths]

i need to make a venn diagram of character traits shared between mizu bes, simon ss, and lancelot timk because oh? my god.

[marmalade-mir]

the angel that challenges God is doomed to fall. but he’s no fallen angel, and his story isn’t paradise lost. rather, his descent goes something like this:

he is a man—a mere sinner, and far from the first.

see, a fallen angel understands that it is eternally dammed; it does not attempt to fight its way back to the top only to inevitably plummet back down again. but a human when given the gift of flight clings to the hope of salvation and flies higher and higher, not minding that it is a great ways down if it means being just a little closer to heaven. and he knows what it means to fall from that height and survive. what it means to stumble. what it means to get back up over, and over, and over again.

his fall from grace was not divine or beautiful or even significant. his wings simply became weary of pushing up against the wind.

[gascon-en-exil]

Top 5 books?

1. Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner

No big surprise since I already wrote an entire series on the thing even though it’s practically the second-most incomprehensible work of English modernism after Finnegan’s Wake so no one has read it, but it’s such a dark and poetic high tragedy that tears into the Anglo South and its enduring cultural malaise with significant help from Louisiana and the Latin Caribbean.

2. Les Liaisons dangereuses by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos

Watching the 80s film adaptation and later reading this novel (and then even later re-reading it in French) was my first exposure outside familial anecdote to the workings of the upper echelons of French society to which we had vainly aspired. Hyperbole for the sake of moral instruction and/or revolutionary sentiment it may be, but the story is fun in that vein of witnessing horrible people do horrible things for horrible reasons, and the significance of both deceit and sexual conquest greatly contributed to shaping my opinions on the fundamental artificiality of all human interaction.

3. The Hours by Michael Cunningham

Another one where I watched the movie first and only later picked up the novel; both have their merits to the point where I’d have trouble calling either superior. I love the device of a segmented narrative woven across multiple lives and time periods (seen also in Cloud Atlas, though there less tightly structured in my opinion), and it builds off the life and fiction of Virginia Woolf whose writing I generally enjoy. The story also hits some personal notes in reference to my mother and my perspective on her life and death, and as thoroughly demonstrated in my ranking of the women of Fire Emblem that seems to be my only notable window into female-driven stories.

4. The Awakening by Kate Chopin

Really this applies to her collective body of work - Chopin presents a fascinating window on the increasingly frayed lives of Louisiana Creoles at the turn of the 20th century, just as we were slipping into political and social irrelevance. It can sometimes be a little painful to read her writing for that reason, but there’s usually enough distance from the subject either because of her protagonists (like Edna Pontellier of the aforementioned novel, an Anglo from Kentucky married to a Créole) or her specific setting (ex. “Athénaïse,” set partially in the north Louisiana town of Natchitoches, a Créole community that gets almost no attention anywhere). The Awakening itself is powerful for its unfeeling brutality culminating in suicide, a Madame Bovary stripped of the anti-Romantic elements.

5. Père Goriot by Honoré de Balzac

It’s hard to pick just one part of La Comédie humaine, but this was my first taste of Balzac and also one that prominently features the gay thief Vautrin. That’s always fun. Like Les Liaisons this novel is also concerned with the affairs of upper class Parisians, though it’s interesting to contrast someone like Rastignac with the established aristocrats of pre-Revolutionary writing or, conversely, bourgeois protagonists like Lucien Chardon or most of Flaubert’s characters. It’s good for some perspective on my own set and to what extent we may truly be said to be putting on airs once the Anglos have been removed from the picture. Certainly not as much as the established Carnival krewes with their pretensions of royalty, hmph.

[wanderingnork]

Author ask 3, 16, and 23! Always remember to say hi to the ghosts in your creepy laundry basement :)

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else? 

I almost always write from start to finish, because most of the stuff I do is wholly chronological. I think in a pretty linear way and circular stories or non-chronological stuff FASCINATES ME but I just can’t write it. On occasion I will pull out favorite scenes, or drabble-length reminders of “this is where I’m going” if I’m writing something particularly plot-heavy that ISN’T written in a single month. The Halloween trick fic has many of these, including a big chunk of the conclusion; the Accidental Epic was written in one go and I had no fucking clue where I was going until I got there.

16) are there any characters who haunt you? 

Other than Percival Graves, you mean? Yeah, there are. Sorry to everyone, but hey: I’m a Loki fan. Bad, bad, bad. Because he just. Hits me in that spot where I feel like I could be him, if things went wrong? “I'm the monster who parents tell their children about at night"is a sentiment I’ve felt for years, and so I kind of...latched on. I don’t write about him, because if you thought the Accidental Epic was autobiographical you ain’t seen NOTHING yet.

Above and beyond that, there’s Edna Pontellier of “The Awakening”. Again, I don’t talk about her much, because she’s rather...personal. In darker moments I do think about how easy it would be to go her way, to take that skid away from the things you’re supposed to want and to sink into the sea. Also, I really want to know if she’s actually bisexual because that is DEFINITELY a textual reading I can do, and if you want that I CERTAINLY WILL. Like...Edna is highly, highly personal.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

Yeah.

I traveled way too fucking much as a kid.

On the one hand, it gave me attachment issues like WHOA, and left me virtually incapable of putting down permanent roots anywhere and gave me a complex about making friends or having long-lasting relationships. (We are working on this one.)

On the other? I have seen a lot of stuff. I sat in a barn for four hours and watched cows give birth, because we JUST SO HAPPENED to stop at a dairy farm that had a public viewing area for some reason. I’ve been to more museums than I care to count. I don’t have a traceable accent or speech pattern because I picked up so much random white noise from everywhere I’ve been. I have an idea of what it’s like to live out of a suitcase. I’m not afraid of going places or doing things that other people think are ill-advised, because...I haven’t ever been given a reason not to do those things. And I think it shows in my writing.

(Want me to overshare...again?)

[n-o-w-is-l-a-t-e-r]

Everything is Exploited for Survival Pt.3

In order to deal with pain, one must become empty. They must detach from any form, one must cling to a goal ardently and in turn you must shape your self within that image. This is the essence of succeeding in performance: characterization. This is the basis of whiteness: surface. Projecting an image is key. This is why whitef**e is essential. Blackness will always be abject in a white society because of whiteness will always foreground blackness, always cast its shadow amongst the behavior of POC's through its division. Naiveté is weakness, know!edge is power. Light = top (surface) and Night = bottom (darkness) Darkness takes no form, whereas light is separated. The surface is empty. Pretty is an illusion. Surface is the greatest illusion. For on the surface, we can convey anything. Always judge a book by its cover. We are always being watched, judged by how we appear and most importantly, judging ourselves based upon what we percieve our selves to be. Culture is the biggest illusion because it is based on precognition, existing in an image of someone else and then being orchestrated by its powers (morality).If someone else is doing it, than I MUST/HAVE to do it. These rituals are simulations, empty and meaningless, however, only we give it power. Uniform cultures have no meaning aside from the instruction of what came before. This is key to freeing yourself from the oppressive structure of others.  This is what makes identity politics so dangerous. Punk attempted to subvert the cis-heteronormativity of the dominant culture. In doing so, it resisted the strict formalism of gender in creating a space of protest. Safety pins, leather, vinyl, torn fabrics, and strewn textures all symbolized a subversion to the mass semantics. The Beautiful Surface-the false surface. The surface is fake, however, underneath is nothingness. Pretty empty. Beauty is the only reality. When you’re young, you're admired. When you're old, you're dead. The surface symbolism allows us to judge based upon what we choose to show and ultimately what we choose to see. Men, exploit. Women, are used.

The mind is programmed to function based on human logic. This is the root of divided consciousness. We are then indoctrinated and judged based on our perception of knowledge. Humans are bored by nature due to the construct of reality. They can never truly turn off the mind so they are in search of ways to continually stimulate their senses to their detriment. Eating, exercising, fucking, fighting, playing  everything is a distraction due to the divisive nature of humanity. In truth, we are empty devoid of meaning, devoid of any singular/objective purpose. This subjective filtered consciousness is what separates us, which prevents us from full interaction. We are all just dead inside. Emptiness is the ultimate reality. We can only remain free as long as we recognize our emptiness. In Fight Club, the very projection of the phallus (surface) is what keeps us from recognize the true reality: death. Duality is an illusion. Gender is an illusion. Everything is an exercise in futility. I am merely a copy of a copy. Give yourself to the darkness. Drag allows you to transcend gender in embodying an expansive version of yourself. You are no longee bounded by conventions of time. You transform into a character that although illusive on the surface is freed. Emptiness means fullness. It means being open to change constantly. The surface doesn't mean anything so have fun. Full of nothingness: Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. Stop looking for tomorrow and live right now,

Humor me. Lyrics to: "People Are Machines"

This is me...

Oh, this is me Neglected and obsolete, I am incomplete This is me returning to my stability This is me giving up and learning not to feel a thing

(We all work, eat, sleep, repeat Every one is a machine)

This is me preparing my grave in the shade, Learning that everyone loses their place under the sun eventually

This is me dealing with my discontentment and deficiency I am handing in my resignation and vulnerability My guts have been hollowed out There is nothing left for me to spill I'm covered in dust because my life has been sat on the shelf

I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I don't feel a thing

I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I don't feel a thing

This is me going back to bed, destroying all my intents This is me going back to bed, abandoning all of my friends This is me going back to bed, destroying all my intents This is me going back to bed, abandoning all of my friends

I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I don't feel a thing

I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I don't feel a thing

I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I don't feel a thing

Every one is a machine Work, eat, sleep, repeat...

Fabulations The visible sleeve Which separates that which is unseen Whole nothingness non-form man is a dildo, separated from oneness. Empty masculinity, empty form, always symbolic, A woman is both inside and out, always embodying her opposite A man is closed, and cums on the outside (power) A mans identity is comprised of his hardness Whereas a woman her liquidity, her freedom of expression The essence of formalism is symbolic, always determined by gesture By the basis of social formalism, what is defined as masc. or fem. Men are pyramids, closed external Women are opened internally The phallic seperation

Dragon Ball Z: All Consuming Destructive Masculinity. This system comprises itself on fear, on the competitive advantage of those who are already head due to hegemonic influence such as property, wealth, etc. Those that exist at the bottom are at a disadvantage because they don't have access to the resources needed to fully assess and leverage their reality. On top of that, the market pumps these food desserts chock full of cheap, toxic waste foods which poisons the development of their minds. Those who are at a disadvantage are only capable of doing. They want all those of whom exist at the bottom to do their bidding: working the slave jobs, doing work day in and out so they can continue to exist in squalor. These are empty souls born into a world where they must constantly work or they suffer the consequences. Empty people are clones: copies of copies of copies produced for the purpose of massive consumption and the wealth of those at the very top. The illusion (trap) of gendered dualistic bodies keeps us misaligned intentionally keeping us from the neutral whole. We don't need tradition. Edna Pontellier was aware of the construct of gender both biologically and psychologically. She was able to release her bodily form her oceanic suicide symbolic of the wholeness regained, no longer fragmented by whom she is suppose to appear to be (rigid formalism). The ocean is the fullness of emptiness, of sublime nothingness. Women are freer than men. Unbounded by the hardness that consumes men, they are able to devote themselves to whatever they choose. Formalism/socialization is very harmful in that it denotes separation. I don't believe. Nothingness- which is comprised of everything is alive, truly loose and free of any worry. This is perfectly comprised in the song Lost in Music by Sister Sledge, the wavy ethereality of the nothingness, free from vanity and selfish materialism. Joss Stone also mentions this freedom in her song The Answer, freedom from worry. I'm going to free myself. Free myself from worry, from fear. I'm going to put it all on the line because, honey, I'm all I got. Narcissistic form and function: The sensual world is empty. an empty body, a vessel of surface reflection that is utterly meaningless in creation. A slave of form is someone who is utterly materialistic. Concerned only with their senses, and ultimately how they appear amongst others. Their only goal is to fit in, do as they are told. They are ignorant of their circumstances on earth and either only question their reality to a limited extent or nearly not at all. To avoid any potential pain they avoid themselves from anything that may trigger them concerning their seemingly limited existence. They will toil away, committing themselves to ideologies that is most logical for their “humanity”. In the end there is no meaning, no singular purpose only an ego based one that allows one to construct their reality however they see fit. There is a way for us to exist in the material world while recognizing simultaneously that it doesn't truly mean anything. I can fuck someone while remaining completely detached from him/her because I don't need to own them. This is beauty of futility is it doesn't mean anything, truly. Beauty and the Beast. The beast is cold materialism, separated from the whole of nothingness by vanity and greed. The body is separated from the spirit and ruled by the mind. It is an object, the penis (phallus)is just a tool. Gaston is an example of pure ego form: materialistic, selfish,and ultimately lacking in emotion. Belle is the spirit, the anti-matter full of overflowing love and grace. Sensitive to the world. Inception: the restless materialism conveyed by Dom is an example of how far he is willing to detach himself from the present-which is full of love. He further expands into an empty world that eventually infects the perspective of his wife Mal, who can longer distinguish what is real and what isn't. She commits suicide but this memory is lodged deep in Dom's basement (subconscious), symbolizing both his avoidance and his attachment out of grief/guilt. Mal is a projection of his subconscious but he cannot seem to let her go this projection interferes with the inception that has taken place. Mal’s suicide is also symbolic of the lost feminine, the love that Dom has lost due to greed. He finds redemption and learns to exist in the present. Dom is symbolic of the demiurge, and its construction. White materialism is always determined through control. The very basis of white culture is animalistic, always insisted upon greed. Love, is useless in a white materialist, patriarchal system. Transcending form (ego): transcending age, appropriateness, always being childlike in exploration, always living in the now or at least. affirming it daily. Accepting and giving love routinely. Affirming the nothingness that is the ultimate nothingness. Excerpt from Art as the Absolute: Art's Relation to Metaphysics in Kant, Fichte, Simone In this current age, The Kali Yuga (Iron Age) is a period involving man's lowest degradation: the senses. We exist primarily in the sensual world where we value fame,money,power (symbolic),and everything else concerning the sensual body (ego). Humans only exist for the pursuit of pleasure. Places of divine intention such as ashrams are replaced by competitive profit-based materialist institutions. The world becomes chalk full of illusions based on glamourous appeal (surface. Nothing is as it seems. Delusional fear based ideologies are used to control the quantity of life. Much like the depiction of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho (1999)Everything becomes artificial.

Whiteness is a mirror. It utilizes light (surface) in both projection/reflection. Whiteness is a mutation, for it mirrors its subjects. It is a cannibalistic subjectivity as consumption is central to its power.  for it is utilized in the process of glamour. It is use to charm those who are in opposition, thus creating luminance (haze-mind control). The best way to deflect is to become aware of the glamour (haze) this is best done through direct analysis. This tactic is often used on those whom are the most susceptible aka naïve children and most likely women. These targets are the easiest to control: Diffuse reflection is the reflection of light or other waves or particles from a surface such that a ray incident on the surface is scattered at many angles rather than at just one angle as in the case of specular reflection. An ideal diffuse reflecting surface is said to exhibit Lambertian reflection, meaning that there is equal luminance when viewed from all directions lying in the half-spaceadjacent to the surface. A surface built from a non-absorbing powder such as plaster, or from fibers such as paper, or from a polycrystalline material such as white marble, reflects light diffusely with great efficiency. Many common materials exhibit a mixture of specular and diffuse reflection.

Links: o Is the Mirror Racist? Interrogating the Space of Whiteness by Shannon Winnubst o ‘Foucault, Femininity, and the Modernization of Patriarchal Power’, in Feminism and Foucault: Reflections on Resistance, ed. Irene Diamond and Lee Quinby. Rocha evokes an ethereality that I admire, a form that engages with both the real and the surreal. It exists in a place that is non-gendered that is equally whole and fractured in its components. It exists in a realm that is open. We exist in a masculine age. Hot and hairy. vulnerability / sensitivity are not valued as highly as intellect. Science, the study of surface mechanisms is the new religion. Metaphysics is not integrated into this system. Mechanics, engineers, technicians are the highest form of intellectualism in this era. They replace the form of the biological mother, creating machines instead of humans. The masculine era also breeds competitive cultures which forces one either to adapt or die. The patriarchal matrix (kali yuga aka Agni-Fire Age *Iron): Dominance of fire over water and every other force on the planet. This polarity throws everything out of balance as fire cultures are based on conflict (war) and control (hegemony) Water based creatures turned into a hierarchy of servants or slaves. Difference is demonized, and or disciplined into servitude or the more extreme: eradication. The dominance of kings and the sharp incline in narcissism begins. Fire dominant (father) based systems become instated through war. Religion becomes a dominant moral system. The primitive societies transition from gathering into hunting/agricultural systems. The soul “holy spirit”-divine feminine becomes erased, the mother is lost. The birth of glamour (film industry) begins, the camera is always “on”. Voyeurism/exhibitionism is the mode. Gods Puppets: Narcissism, Hegemony, and the GOD complex in the dawn of Western Civilization o It’s always the narcissist who believe they are God. o The narcissistic god is Aries (Agni) the Fire God who is controlling. o Filmic Example: Embrace of the Serpent- the Christian missionaries who converted the South American tribes and turned o Gender mimesis. Discipline is the mode of control in a patriarchal hegemonic matrix. Discipline allows. We will all evolve into white men through white ideologies such as Christianity. Jordan Peterson is correct, Independence is freedom from the chain. Freedom is being able to exist as yourself at all times. Love is care. we're all just heading towards death. The Ray of Light: Pyramid of success (ascension)

There is no sexuality, only energy. The tradition of gender is illusive in that it requires opposition. BREAK THE BINARY. The only purpose of sex is reproduction. This creates culture. When a man wants a woman, he years for his mother: loving, warm, affectionate. When a woman wants a woman, she wants fluidity. I was told I was greedy because I wanted more. Because clearly valuing my needs over others was considered lazy. The competition of opposites is useless when everything is available. When there is so much diversity present it is pointless to argue your point when you should just let live. Shame- of not knowing what to do and becoming frustrated by my abilities lack thereof and putting off my progress through laziness. I had no discipline in my early home life so I was adept at being lazy. I yearned for stability and yet the very foundation of my home life was the definition of unstable. Such is life you live and you change, you grow and then you die. Part of innocence is ignorance. A child is not aware of the circumstances that awaits them so they must learn to adapt to the suffering. Life in truth is suffering. My mother sugar coated the truth and breeded weakness in her children. She got a man who was disciplinarian, who would step in place of my father. Blinded by the guiding light Our truths hidden by expressions. Exploring the Ascent of Narcissism through Humans in Aronofskys Mother!:  Is a gnostic tale of separation (duality) energies that grow further apart due to the Father/Sun(Javier Bardem) narcissism. Mother (Gaia/Sophia) played by Jennifer Lawrence is the embodiment of the heavenly maternal; love, affectionate, caring. She is matter, Gaia, the earth itself. The house is symbolic of the divine feminine from which all matter arose Father/Sun (Yaldabaoth) conveyed by Javier Bardem is the patriarch. He ���created” the realm of matter. However this realm is false. His room at the top of the house symbolizes the Mind: logical, prescient, and illusive. He craves more and more attention and this begins to take form through the creation of humans. Adam and Eve (Brother and Sister) are replicas of the duality of the feminine and the masculine, however, imperfect. Their flesh is flawed through its own ignorance. This is symbolized through the death of the first human death, Abel by his brother Cain. The curse of Cain was Whiteness, which eventually separated him. Through this very act we begin to see the  begins to tear the relationship between the two even further as more humans multiply thus intruding their once quiet home (oneness) Patriarchy-Iron Age-Yang (Kali Yuga): • Male-centric patriarchal societies controlled by men. • Hierarchal systems • The dawn of initiatory “Secret Societies” • GOD (Male) • War • Poverty