#hu sk

[emtrobarasalaplatja3]

[sicklymadscientist]

💕Please don’t re-blog to non-kink blogs💕

A page of sick An/gel Du/st cuz I can’t get enough of him. The bottom two are from some combined prompts @ghostlychill suggested, the left being “grinning with a fever” + “hugging a pillow,” and the right is “looking at a thermometer” + “pinching his brow with a headache.” I had originally planned to include a snz in there but I ran outta room, so I owe ya one 😉

[instarsandcrime]

Returning the Favor (3/4)

Thank you for waiting!!!

Whoof, here we go! I love Hu//sker//Du//st, so admittedly this was much easier to write. ^ ^" Regardless, now we've got Caretaker!Angel Dust and the reason Sick!Husk exists in the first place. Thank you very much for reading this far, and I hope you enjoy!

---

“--sk?”

The black, unconscious void began to flicker and fade.

“Husk?” A familiar voice called again.

An endless dream finally cleared, nothingness making way for rose-colored eyes and adorable freckles that decorated them like stars.

Damn Cher, Husk thought distantly, you could make the sappiest love poems outta the most heartless bastards. Y’know that?

Angel Dust blinked his long eyelashes before stifling a bubble of laughter– his partner’s face burning when he realized that yes, his caretaker could in fact hear him. The skin under his icy fur trembled. Angel Dust leaned in to embrace him–

“HUP’TSCCHHHUHH!”

–and pulled back when a strong, throat-shredding sneeze echoed against the walls. Husk's ears pressed flat between a wince of pain, red cheeks somehow turning redder. “Ghhh– ow. S’rry Legs, wassn't s'posed to be that loud– hhhuh!”

Another shaky hitch, and Angel pressed a thin finger just under his nose. “Easy tiger. Don't break all those ribs at once.”

It twitched once. Twice. And finally the cat demon slumped with relief, sinking back into the cushions when the tickle subsided for the moment.

"What--"

"Fell asleep on the couch again. Try not to talk too much, okay?" The other interrupted, feeling the back of his head.

For once, Husk didn't fight it.

A click of the tongue, and thin brows knotted in sympathy. "Shit, that's bad. Maybe I should carry you up--"

"No! Khff Kff--!" Husk shot upright, the shock striking a match, scraping against his throat. Hacking coughs bubbled to the surface, tears lining the edges of his eyes as his lungs nearly rattled. Hunched over, the ringing in his eardrums began to fade– replaced by small, comforting words. Well-manicured fingers moved to his head, gently raking through his fur, and he couldn’t help the delighted shiver that ran down his spine.

"Please, Husky? For me?"

Damnit. 

Slowly but surely he raised his arms, looking everywhere but the ever-widening grin that hovered over him. “I wasn’t lyin’ when I said you make me sappy as fuck. You– snff! You know that, right?”

“It’s a good thing I came along then. I like you better when yer not scowlin’ like a grumpy old man twenty-four seven.” Angel Dust winked.

Something small but ugly twisted in Husk’s chest.

He elected to ignore it, trying to avoid Angel’s doting look as he got on one knee, cradled in a bridal carry as they ascended the staircase. The world blended in colors that seared his eyes and pricked at his skull, and he nuzzled his way into the crook of Angel's neck to shut out the world. Gasping when a tickle surfaced and before he could stop it–

“HP’SHHH! HUP’SCHHHUH! Huhhh..!” Fuck, fuck, fuck that went right down his back! The sickly demon tightened his hold and pinched his nose– to no avail. “HN’CHXT! HUH’CHNXT’hhhuhhh…hhHH-!”

“Hey, hey, don’t hold that shit in. Let it out for me, okay?” Angel Dust cooed, “Y'know how many fluids I've been covered in before? Trust me, this is on the bottom three grossest shit.”

“Hnn…! HUT’SHHH’HUH! HUP’SCHHHH’huh! Hhhhuhhh…hhgh…ugh…sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Husk felt his body laid carefully on the mattress. He only needed to mourn the cold for just a moment before peachy fur and lanky limbs intertwined with his. Two around his waist, two around his chest, two massaging his temples to chase off the pain.

"How long've you been like this? You shoulda called. I coulda ditched work." Angel Dust offered.

At that Husk hummed out a hoarse note, tail flicking restlessly. "'S fine. Had help."

"Good. This whole damn project woulda been for nothin' if ya hadn't been cared for."

"'M supposed to help." He whined. Actually whined. Fuck, this stupid bug was getting to him.

"Yeah? I don't see nothin' like that in yer contract."

Another twist of his insides.

"Well maybe it should be." Husk growled, wings bristling. "For the past two days it's been nothin' but eyes on me. Fuck, Alastor sneaked in when I was asleep!"

"What?" Angel Dust marveled, "And that’s a bad thing? Yer bein' pampered for once in yer life!"

No.

"You deserve the same treatment as everyone else. Y’know that, right?"

Stop!

"Christ Husk, it's like you're allergic to help--"

"Well maybe I'd be worth a damn if everyone focused on their own damn problems and left me alone!"

Angel sat there, wide-eyed as Husk bolted upright.

“Do you know how fuckin’ ridiculous this shit is?! Charlie’s losin’ sleep because the hotel’s– snff! fuckin’ packed with new souls she can’t keep track of! Vaggie’s overworking herself because she feels like she has some goddamn obligation to lay her life on the line! Lucifer’s tryin’ to pretend everything is fine but he’s too fuckin’ stuffed with pride to even begin unpacking the shit he went through before The Fall!”

“Husk–”

“And you! You’re the worst of it! How long’s it been since you’ve been back here? Three days? Do you– sndff! Ugh, fuck– do you know how long I waited at that goddamn bar for you to come back? I waited until I literally got worried sick!” 

The air was so tense it could be cut with a knife. Still, as the heavy panting slowed, the bartender’s heartbeat quickened. Shit. Shit shit shit! Bile rose in his throat. He could feel the rims of his eyes grow wet and fuck, what was he thinking! What the fuck is wrong with him! Goddamnit, he was such a fuckin' mess! He was surrounded by such good people and all he did was hurt them. He denied their help– goddamnit they were just trying to help he doesn't deserve to be here he'sjustlikeVa--

"Husk!" A voice raised, and Husk suddenly gasped out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He surfaced from a storm he didn't remember drowning in. Slit pupils widened as he was met with someone he still didn't deserve. Smiling fondly like none of that ever happened.

"Breathe." Angel Dust said softly.

"Ange, I-- kff! I-- kfff kFF! I didn't--"

"Shhhh. Breathe." 

Husk opened his mouth to argue. And with a rattling inhale his shoulders untensed. An exhale, and his jaw unclenched. The tears that threatened to spill streamed down his cheeks in rivulets, and he choked back a sob.

"I...h-huh! HUP'SHHH! Snff! I didn't-- hUH–! HUT'SHHH! K'SHOOO! I didn't mean t...to...! HAT'SHHHUH!"

Fucking embarrassing. He startled when something soft pressed against his nose.

"Blow." He shot Angel Dust a glare, but it only came off soft, red-rimmed eyes and wet cheeks that clumped his fur. A disgusting gurgle, and the ailing patient slumped into the sheets, exhausted from every angle.

"Husk, baby, it's okay. Yer sick, you've got a fever, and it's makin' you miserable. Of course yer gonna be grumpy, I’d think you were nuts if you weren’t!"

"Give it a rest. I'm bein' a dick and I hurt you, that's all there is to it." Husk muttered. Blinking in surprise as two palms cradled his cheeks, met face to face with a gaze that pierced right through him. Carefully a third hand reached out, taking his wrist and guiding his paw to a pink-furred stomach.

"Did ya hurt me here?" Anthony asked gently.

"N...no." The demon dared not to move.

Then carefully the other moved up to his neck, completely unflinching. Face pinched in determination. "How 'bout here?"

"No. But-!"

"Here?" The spider demon moved to his cheek, resting it in a heart-shaped paw pad.

"N-no..."

"Here?" His claws met Angel's fluffy hair.

"No."

"How 'bout here?" The porn star moved to his breast, giggling at the unimpressed look that stared back.

"Kid."

The joke was abandoned when Angel Dust inched it gently to the right. A heart beat thumped calmly between his claws.

"And here?" Angel Dust whispered.

Husk swallowed hard, trying not to let fresh tears well up again. His ears wilted, and that’s all the signal needed to be guided into Angel Dust's lap, eyelids drooping heavily. Letting lithe fingers massage his aching muscles.

"D'ya really think I wouldn't say somethin'?" 

"Hm?"

"If I was hurt by you?"

"Mmm...snfff! Y'would."

"Good boy.” Angel Dust hummed, resting his chin on his partner’s head. “You should really get some rest."

"Nah. I've been restin' for two days..." He yawned, fangs poking out. "missed you."

"I ain't goin' nowhere, Babydoll." Angel tipped his chin upwards to give his other half a peck on the forehead, and Husk sleepily rubbed his head just under the chin with a raspy purr. "Sleep. For me?"

Husk sighed. The peace and quiet draped over them like a blanket, warm and comfortable– torn clean in half at a building itch.

“HEP’SHHHH’HUH! ET’CHHHH’HUH! ETCHHH’HOOO! Guhh– HET’SHHHH’HHUH! Ughhh.”

“...After we get ya some meds. Salud.”

[goodlucksnez]

DO NOT REBLOG TO NON-KINK BLOGS

MINORS FUCK OFF

WOW A POST

i know first thing since September, things have been hard. but I saved up spoons to make a wav of the lovely h/uskerd/ust. I barely tried with accents and things because again no spoons so sorry

I had this idea about h/usk losing a gamble cause of an allergen so yeah that is basically it. transcript is below sorry if it isnt the most clear I rushed it because i know if i didnt this would sit unfinished forever.

now with that being said...I think char. wavs might be stopping for a while. I dont have the time, energy nor spoons to do it, I want to but it is easier to record natural wav instead. I know for the .12% of people who will read this will not care but I wanted to lets others know!

DO NOT REBLOG TO NON-KINK BLOGS

MINORS FUCK OFF

transcript:

Angel: *walking up the the bar with a deck of cards* Hey Whiskers.

Husk: *cleaning* Hmm.

Angel: *mockingly*Ohh, come on. Don't you wanna play?

 Husk: If it will make you shut up, then I'm happy to oblige. What are we playing?

Angel: Ohh, did I get the kitty's attention? Such a gambling man.

Husk *sarcastically* You do realize who you're talking to, right?

Angel: *teasingly* Perfectly or, should I say Purrfectly.

Husk: *rolling his eyes* Oh, great. We're starting the cat puns again. As if that wasn't funny the 15th time.

Angel: I think you've had enough fun trouncing around like you are so much better than everyone, and I think that I can prove your bluff.

Husk: *laughing*

Angel: Oh, did I say something amusing?

Husk: Very much so. You think that you can con a gambler….fine. How do we make this interesting?

Angel: *smirking* Oh, I like when the Kitty has claws. Meow.

Husk: Hmm. If you win, I'll agree to wear that outfit that you bought.

Angel:  Oh, you don't mean…

Husk: Don't say it.

Angel: And what happens if you win? Not that I'm thinking that will happen, but tell me. You got me as curious as a cat.

Husk: If I win, then you'll stop with the cat puns forever.

Angel: You make a tough bargain. OK. OK. You got yourself a deal.

Husk: One round winner takes all

Angel:Perfect.

*dealing and shuffling cards*

Husk: Want to cut the deck.

Angel: Always

Husk:You seem rather cocky tonight. *sniffles and sneezes*

Angel:Trying to make me distracted already are we whiskers?

Husk: Nope. Just…Just. *Sneezing* Making conversation

Angel:Very well

Husk:Draw

Angel: Fine, fine. Hit me.

Husk:You got it.

Husk: I will also hit. *sneezing*

Angel:Bless you.

Husk: Thanks. What are you smiling at?

Angel: Nothing. I just think I'm gonna win.

Husk: Ohh. You're a terrible liar. I have gambled with human souls before. A little game of poker isn’t *hitching wipes his nose but accidentally does the hand motion to stay not hit*

Angel: That hand motion means stay.

Husk: Oh. Yeah. You're very funny, aren't you? All right.I'll give you that one. Maybe Niffy needs to dust more

 Angel: Oh, I don't think that's it. You know what? I think I'll stay. You're going to fold.

Husk *sneezing* So you're asking me if I call your bluff, huh?

Angel: Maybe.

Husk: *showing his hand*Read them and weep

Ange;” Ohh. Just the 13. Try 19 on for size.

Husk: How the fuck did you win?

Angel: Ooh, but I thought a gambler never went over his secrets.

Husk: Angel, you fucking tell me now or I swear I will….I will. *sneezing*  Ohh God. Don't you always carry something on you? Give me the shit

 Angel: I don't think it will help you because it's kind of drenched in lavender

Husk I beg your finest pardon…what

Angel: Well, I may have talked to creepy smile and well. I'm just so sick of you winning all the time. It was no fun anymore. You know, I do like to keep things up and loose. So he told me about a little issue you have with a certain smell. You wouldn't believe how long it took me to get this much.

Husk: Angel . I swear *sneezing*

Angel: Al  wasn't joking. You really are a mess with this.

T

 Husk: OK, so besides sneezing, how'd you figure it out?

Angel: Well. I know two things about you. One you'll never share anything over your face, and 2. If you're comfortable, you sit more open, relaxed, you would hunched over this entire time. And that could be from the allergic reaction that you're experiencing.

*sneezing*

Angel: or It could be from the fact that you didn't enjoy your hand. And the fact that you didn't even call me on my bluff? Well, it was obvious point past then, that I was going to win. Now Are you gonna go and be a good Kitty? *holding maid dress*

Husk:  I'm not putting it on, that was not fair. *sneezing* that was not a fair game and you know it

*walks over to angel*

Angel: All fair in love and war.,,,,,Husker. I really wouldn't walk over. I mean I'm literally covered in this, frankly, drowned a whole bottle. Wait, stop.

*Walks over and sneezes on his chest*

Angel : AHHH Fair, I guess I deserve that spray.

Husk: *hitching* I cant

Angel :You might want to step back.

*hitching*

 Angel : Ohh man, I can't watch this. OK. I'm sorry, Kitty. *rubs his nose*

Husk: wait Don't touch my nose *sneezing fit*

Angel: Breathe whisker Seriously geez. We're giving Lucifer a run for his money. ….OK OK, I'm stepping back Just breathe, OK?

*al appears*

Al: This is this an interesting sound.

Husk: Oh fuck off

Al:.But I'm here to save the day. Here below.

*husk blows his nose*

Angel :thank fuck al. I didn't think he was ever Gonna stop.

Al:  I may have forgot to mention he won't stop until he actually gets that junk out of his head. The kitten sneezing may be adorable, but it's ineffective to say the least. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go burn this. Take care.

 Angel : Are you feeling any better whiskers

Husk: Uh-huh

 Angel:OK, why don't you go lay down? I'll shower this off. And husk

Husk: hmmm

Angel: Who has the poker face now?.

[junkcrows]

I'm going to fucking throw up!! I missed them sm I'm going to cry like a dumb child on the floor.

[chestcongestion]

Got an idea for the "faking to convince someone else that they're sick" trope that I wanna write but I have to finish this fic first and then I wanna get some non kink art done on my day off 😭

[hallloin]

lonly…… :<

[candyredappledragon]

A shiny Altaria fly’s through an open window and starts pecking away the energy drinks before putting in some warm water into a cup and add the tea bags using her beak. The shiny Altaria then gently pats his head with her wing before perching down in a corner.

The Altaria has a small note attached to her scarf: ‘Don’t do anything to make Altaria go into mother mode, and clearly please don’t make yourself sick or she’s going to put you on bed rest and use heal pulse on you. She’s a stubborn Altaria. -Blaze.’

...aw........ im not s ick thou gh!!!.. do.. i have t o drink th is then??

i don t want to s pill..it

[instarsandcrime]

Returning the Favor (1/4)

Well well well, look who compromised with my current schedule by doing this story in little chunks! Thank you again to everyone who voted in the poll, and I hope Sick!Husk and Caretaker...everyone? was worth the wait, even if it's going to be spaced out in chapters. First up is Charlie and Vaggie!

I hope you enjoy! 😊

“ET’CHHHH’uh!”

“Bless you again!”

“HET’SHHHH’huh!”

“And again…”

“HET’SCHHHH! HEP’SHHHHUH!”

“Oh dear, that sounded–”

“HEP’CHHHOO!”

“--bad.”

A volley of honking nose blows echoed off slings and shooters as Husk fought another nagging itch, ignoring the way his boss leaned across the mahogany counter, thick brows tied in a worried knot. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can get you? Some medicine? Or blankets? I-I can make you tea–!”

“No need.” Husk interrupted, crumpling his well-worn tissue into a nearby waste bin, “I’ve got– snfff! Ugh, two hours’ve overtime left.”

“Two hours?!” Charlie yelped, pointed ears flattening in return. She quickly slapped a hand over her mouth, “S-sorry! Sorry, it’s just. Your schedule didn’t show– it wasn’t exactly brought to my attention–” she took a deep breath, flattening her palms together as if she were praying to God for patience. “that issss…a lot of time.”

“I can handle it.” Her bartender waved a paw, ignoring the way he wobbled as he reached for a clean rag.

“Oh, of course, of course! I have every bit of faith in you!” Painted lips upturned, grin so artificially sweet that sugar laced Husk's tongue. He raised a brow, counting down the seconds for what would inevitably come next.

Three.

“You know your limits, obviously!” Her black fingernails fiddled with a sleeve cuff.

Two.

“A-and really, there’s nothing to worry about! You’re one tough cookie!” They moved to her hair, twirling a blonde lock.

One.

“It’s just,” there it is, “as your manager I can give you some time off for tonight instead? That way you get some rest?”

“That’s a real nice offer you’re giving me, Princess. Tempting, even. But uh. I’m still supposed to be on the clock.” Husk elaborated, scratching the back of his neck.

“But I never ordered you to–”

“No. You didn’t.” Golden eyes flicked to a spot in the corner, at a dusty old radio surrounded by its immaculately cleaned resting place. Untouched, unbothered, unsettling.

“...Oh.” Charlie breathed. Melancholy mood immediately shattered when more gasping hitches filled the air.

“HUP’SHHUH!” A flurry of feathers snapped wide, flapping to keep any semblance of balance. Fangs sucking in a sharp hiss of air when dagger-sharp claws dug into the shiny countertop he just cleaned, neon lights accenting a sparkling mist of contagion.

“Oh! Oh! Maybe we can pass the time until a customer comes in!” It only took a second for his stubborn caretaker to shake off the outburst, patient suppressing a miserable groan in return.

“Don’t you have anything better to do? Like sleep? It’s been a long day.”

“Well yeah, but um. I’ve been practicing a magic trick and I thought you might want to see it?” Despite his better efforts Husk’s ear flicked curiously and, out of pure spite, he wiped and re-wiped and re-wiped the countertop until it was a mirror of its former self. 

Nope. Ignore her. Do not look.

“I’m busy.” He said to the near empty lobby.

“It’ll just take a moment! Please?”

You know what’s gonna happen when you look.

“C’mon Husk! I super duper promise that I’ll do it once! That’s it!”

Not if you paid him for the rest of his fucking afterlife.

“Come on, it’ll take five seconds and then you can go back to work like nothing happened!”

Biting the bullet he turned around and– 

–fought the urge to take off his hat and let loose a blood-curdling scream. He blamed it on the exhaustion that plagued him and definitely not the doe eyes that nearly blinded him with angelic light.

“Fine.” He growled, rounding the corner to pull up a stool. “But I’m givin’ you my spare pack. It's kinda dinky lookin', but it does its job well.”

Charlie wasn’t listening. Charlie was too busy vibrating excitedly, carefully cradling the beat up box like she was handling the deed to Hell. 

“Okay! Get ready…” Sticking out her tongue, she concentrated as she worked her magic. Magic being a loose, loose description considering the fact that she was stuck on the shuffling phase. Well, less of a shuffle and more like a mutation of a shuffle and a card flick. It was almost impressive– a magician’s trick that doubled as a natural force of chaos.

“Whoops!” Her hand scattered, and she hurriedly scooped them up from all corners of the carpet.

“Let me just–” Somehow defying gravity, they flew up into the air and fluttered down like snowflakes. 

“One more time!” The four of spades smacked her square in the face. Peeling the card off to shoot it a sour look, she turned to see her only audience member hunched over the bar, paws locked tight against his muzzle. Heart leaping in her chest, Charlie quickly abandoned her act, rushing over. Her hands hovered above his trembling frame like she was trying to find the right angle to lift a burning box.

“O-oh gosh, are you okay? Do you need to throw up? I could get a trash can but–”

All worries screeched to a grinding halt as loud, raspy laughter echoed through the lobby. Husk slapped a paw on the counter, letting out an exasperated whoop. “You– pff! Ahahaha! Y-you really know how to entertain a guy– kaff kAFF–!” Hysterics spiraled into hacking coughs, feeling comforting circles rub his back.

“You feel warm.” Charlie whispered, but her bartender quickly shook his head, reaching for a tissue to wipe at his nose.

“I’ll live. Now pass me the damb-- snff! Damn cards, I’ll show you how it’s done.” Husk smirked.

Charlie couldn’t help but soften, surrendering her cards to the expert. She watched as he cracked his knuckles. Flexed his claws. Took a deep breath.

“I haven’t seen you like this before. Not since Extermination Day, anyway.” Charlie hummed.

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?” Husk shot back a rusty grin.

“You're having fun! I'm so happy for you!”

The other froze mid-stretch, eyes widening. Shit.

“I’m just showin’ you how to do a damn magic trick. Don’t read too much into it.” He grumbled, tucking his tail between his legs before it could wag. He took the pack in one heart-shaped paw pad, testing the bend before it leapt to the other side in a blaze of red, black, and gold glory.

Or at least, that was supposed to happen. Instead, a strong tickle feathered his nose. It twitched wildly until–

“ET’CHOO! EP’TSHHOO! HEP’TCCCHH!” An encore of snow fluttered to the ground. He blinked once. Twice. Before Charlie’s wind-chime giggles filled the air. 

“One more time.” Husk said with untapped determination as he plucked the deck one card at a time, unable to swallow the spark of joy that came with it.

But he knows what Charlie is doing. What they’re about to do. 

He won’t let them win.

“Ugh.” Vaggie scoffed.

“Ugh.” Husk echoed the sentiment, shaking his wings free of the storm around them.

It wasn’t too bad of a job. A resident was struggling with their move, and prompted by an exercise to make more friends– aka unstick herself from Charlie’s side– the hotel's guardian offered to help. It was a nice thought…until she saw how many moving vans had piled on the roadside. And with more on the way, Husk was good muscle in any weather, rain or shine.

Because of course he was.

“ESHHHUH! ETCHHH’HUH! Son of a bitch.”

“I think you have a fever–”

“I’m fine. It's just a cold.” Husk snapped, prying Vaggie’s wrist from his forehead. He got an eyeroll for his efforts, and the ex-soldier stared into the horizon with a scowl, watching the downpour that fell from the Heavens. Ignoring the violent shivering and soaked fur that clung to the other like an icy blanket. Husk glanced her way once, twice– betrayed again by the flick of an ear.

“How come you’re not fuckin’ freezing out here?”

At that Vaggie’s hardened glare turned bashful. She scratched her arm, suddenly finding her muddy shoes very interesting. “Angel’s blood, uh, runs a little warmer. Because we live– or I used to– live so high up in the air–”

“HEP’SHHUH!” She jumped, clutching her chest as Husk let loose another near-deafening sneeze. She could almost mistake it for thunder if she wasn’t careful.

“Oh. Uh, bless–”

“HET’CHHH’CHEW!”

“Ble–”

“HET’CHH! HET’tshh! ‘Tshhh! ‘Tchh! ‘Tch! Tch’hhhiew!” His fit spiraled until all that was left were weak, squeaky kitten sneezes. He slapped a paw against his muzzle as he stifled, desperate to get his aching nose under control. “Heh’ntshh! Nt’tchh! ‘Nnt! ‘Nt! Hnt’chxt’hiew! Ghh– goddamnihhHH-! Het’SHHH’HUH!...hHH– HET’SCHHHHHOO! …Guh...” 

Sniffling thickly, Husk felt the nagging itch slow to a stop in time with the storm. Blinking moisture from his eyes, the sickly demon looked up to see a silvery wing hovering over his head, granting him a small, cozy sanctuary.  The fallen angel merely shrugged her free shoulder nonchalantly, “What? I talk your ear off at the bar. Might as well return the favor.”

And, completely unprompted and wholly against his will, another spark of happiness warmed his chest. He threw up his hands in defeat. “Alright, alright, I get it! You assholes want me to rest? Fine! I’m resting!” 

He marched off, ignoring the small smile that he left behind. 

“I didn’t say anything.” Vaggie retorted.

“Fuck you.” His angry growls were anything but, and he resisted the urge to throw his hat into a puddle.

So he caved under the pressure a little. Not his fault he's surrounded by demons dedicating their miserable lives to redemption. 

They’re too good at their job.

[radicalgraff]

"Solidarity with deserters, saboteurs and war resisters!"

AMI (Anti-militarist initiative) covering up "NAFO" propaganda in Vienna, Austria.

You can find the design for this sticker in many different languages here:

[snotmorty]

Luci/fer being allergic to (his?) cat Kee/kee and being in denial. Maybe teasing from Alas/tor. I love when Lu/ci sneezes fire! (Art request) . I feel like Char/lie would worry about him and Ang/ie + Vagg/ie would tease. Hu/sk would jokingly ask if he's allergic to cat demons

Ty!!

Sorry this took forever lol, I couldn't get everyone in there but I hope ypu enjoy 🤗

[lxvesickstarss]

hu with a guy the other day and he was a model. i was telling him about how i wanted to model but i obviously can’t cuz im short and he said “yeah models are also insanely th!n too” if thats not motivation idk what is.

p.s not doing this bc of a man, i just wanna be SK!NN¥

[instarsandcrime]

Pride Is A Fickle Thing

Well...at least it's not just Lu/ci/fer this time?

@onetrickponi had some great prompts to offer and, since she said she might be writing them, I decided to change up a certain one a little so it turned out the same but also different! Can be read as Ra//dio//App//le or just platonic fluff! Enjoy! ❤️

Prompt: Lu/ci/fer heals A/la/stor, though it takes a great deal of expended effort on his part and it turns out both of them hate looking weak in front of other people.

---

"Hp'shhzzzt!" A sharp, staticky sneeze slipped through a crack in the shadows.

Alastor wheezed as he grabbed yet another handkerchief from his collection, attempting in vain to blow away the clinging itch that stuck to him for the entire meeting. But he couldn't help it. Every single twitch of the finger, every flick of the ear, every time he even bothered to move his holy wound its poison would snake through his ribs and up to his aching head. And when it did the reaction got worse. And when the reaction got worse he couldn't help but...c-couldn't...help but…but snehhh--

"Et'chhht! TSH'ZZZZHHEW! Nnghh..." The overlord muttered out a string of curses as another wave of pain shot through him, grasping a pillar before he could double over and collapse.

“Oof, ouch! That one sounded rough." An irritatingly cheery voice chirped from nowhere in particular.

"Oh do be qui-quieehhh...Heh! Heh’eshhh't! Het'chhhzzz't!" Pressing a well-used cloth up to reddened nostrils, Alastor hurriedly straightened himself, discreetly rubbing the swarm of feathers he felt as far back as it could go.

"Bless y-- er, no, wait. That's not appropriate for someone like you, is it?" And with a golden puff of smoke he finally appeared. The six winged thorn in his side. “Fuck off? Damn you? Curse you, maybe? Mmmn no, I think you’ve already got that handled.”

"Lucifer." Alastor's ear flicked in annoyance, "What can I do for you m-my unh-huhh-holy fellow? Off t-to find some...s-some...snff! Suhh-someone to pestehhhHET'ZSCHHHH! Ghhh..."

The fallen angel winced as shrill feedback pierced the air. "Lookin' a bit sneezy there, bud. I guess even the most powerful overlords catch colds. Just goes to show that somewhere deep, deep, deeeeep down, you still have a mortal soul."

The Radio Demon chuckled, smile splitting despite the feverish beads of sweat that rolled down his neck. "On the contrary! Why, I'm the guardian angel of the Hazbin Hotel! I'm sure Charlie would agree."

Lucifer twisted the cane in his palms. “Ohoh! That definitely sounds like my little girl!”

"Agreed! She is truly a marvel. Exiling all doubts with a cheerful smile!"

"And when the hotel gets big enough, who knows? Maybe she won’t even need you anymore! She can take your place all on her own-- without the tacky bellhop suit, of course."

"Hah! Radio never truly goes out of style. Unlike...u-unlike the...the..."

"Speechless already?"

"A trifuhhh…huh! T-trifling matter, My Liege. I'm simply allergihhh...allergic to...to your bullshhHHT’SHHHhhoo...Huh'zschhh!"

"Impressive comeback. You should really--"

"'Hup’KZSSHHHT! HT'SHHH'OOooo...guhh…snff!" Worry bloomed on Lucifer’s face when his rival flashed a sliver of a wince. And as quick as it grew, Alastor rushed to crush the blossom with the wave of a hand. “Such compassion! I was wonderihh…wondering when the sin of pride would lower himself to such a weak emotion–”

“Let me see it.” 

“Pardon?”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” His patient opened his mouth, “Nope, wait, don’t answer that. Just let me see the wound.”

“Hah! How absurd! Me? Get hurt?” The Radio Demon’s voice crackled with laughter, an unseen audience following suit. “Has our poor king gone senile in his old age?”

“I–! You–!” Lucifer took a deep breath, wisps of smoke billowing from his nose. 

Inhale. Exhale. 

“Okay.”

Despite his eternal grin, Alastor’s feverish eyes blinked back confusion. “...O. Okay?”

“Okay.” The king deadpanned, hopping back a few steps. “You like making deals, right?”

“I do have other hobbies, you know.”

“Nice. I don’t care. Walk to me without sneezing once. I know you can hide the pain, but if you think holy poison will just go away, then you must either be the most stubborn man in the nine rings, or the biggest dumbass.” He paused. “Or both. If you lose, I heal you and you never have to think about Adam and his gaudy lute axe again. If you win, let’s just say that in a few more days, no one in Hell will hear another broadcast from The Radio Demon again.”

A suffocating silence fell over the two, with only the small ambience of old timey cigarette advertisements and Ella Fitzgerald to keep them company. Until finally obsidian claws drummed against the tip of a microphone.

 “...Fine.” Alastor said simply.

“Fine.” Lucifer spat back.

“A simple task, really.”

“Then stop stalling and do it, coward.” Satan flashed his pearly fangs.

A scarlet eye twitched. His opponent took a tentative step forward and the itch followed suit, fighting the urge to rub a knuckle against it.

“Having trouble there?”

“I can assure you I'm per…p-perfectly fihh-fide.” Another step. The growing tickle burned from the bridge to the tip.

“Fihhh-fidt as a fidd-fiddle.”

Almost halfway. Hold it in, hold it in.

“I'b dot as weak as y-yuhhh…you thidk…”

Through irritated tears, slit pupils studied him closely. “Uh-huh. Still don’t believe you.”

Temper beginning to flare as badly as his wound, the overlord opened his mouth to retort. But his voice was completely stolen as the itch teased the rim of his nostrils. It built and built until–

Oh, fuck it.

“Heh'SHHHHZT! Ihh-hih-Hp'SCHHH! ‘TSCHHHH'hhooo…nhhh…” The ground beneath him whirled and tilted like a merry-go-round and he was falling, falling, falling– only to be caught and dragged off the ride with unnervingly gentle hands.

“I've got you.” Lucifer muttered.

“What’s goi’g od? Why are you doi’g this?” The Radio Demon demanded as he was lifted, a body barely up to his chest not acknowledging his weight.

“Because lucky for you, I used to be a saint.” Wait…when did they get to his bathroom? When was he suddenly draped against the wall?

“You hate me." For some reason Alastor couldn’t control his shaking voice, losing the strength to fight. He sounded so disgustingly fragile. He hated it. He hated this. He hated. He. Hated.

“Oh for Heaven’s sake, shut up and let me save you already!” Lucifer swore, clicking the locks in place with the snap of his fingers. Alastor flinched when freezing hands pressed against a soaked through dress shirt and– oh.

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, no shit!” A pure light became a ripple. Then a swirl. Then a bubble. It filled every space imaginable, bathing the pair in its warm blanket. Faintly, Alastor tasted a hint of jambalaya on his tongue. And like a needle and thread to a spilled over poppet, The wound began to close.

Unfortunately, despite the subsiding agony, the holy light that caught his patient's eye did not agree with him. Wait. If angelic power hurt a demon, why was he being healed with–

“H-hhh!” Alastor’s breath hitched.

“Seriously? Now? I’m trying to work here.” Lucifer growled, almost fumbling the surgery when his concentration nearly broke. Through the haze, the overlord could glimpse familiar beads of sweat that trickled down the side of the fallen angel’s neck. 

“H-hhh…c-cad’t…h-hhhhelp it…” Between hiccuping breaths and stuttering speech, somewhere along the way a finger was pressed underneath his fluttering nostrils.

“I swear to my fucking Father.” Lucifer huffed out, blinking blearily as he continued his surgery one-handed. And before the wound closed, Alastor couldn’t help but dread at the way Lucifer’s eyelids drooped further and further, teetering between exhaustion and pain.

With two hands the healing process would have taken two minutes.

With one it took two hours. Or at least, the amount of hands was Lucifer’s excuse.

Alastor would have been more impressed if not for the fact that he was not impressed, because it was a ridiculous emotion to have for Lucifer of all beings. So instead, the next day, he chose to focus on what couldn’t heal right away.

“Het’schhzz!” Alastor pitched into his handkerchief, and Charlie quickly caught his breakfast plate before she could drop it.

“Bless you!” She breathed, clutching her chest with one hand.

Well. At least it wasn’t every five seconds.

“Thank you, my dear. Ironic as it may be.” Alastor chuckled, moving to pick up his utensils. He scanned the dining table to take in the morning rush. Angel Dust was gabbing away next to Husker, silently snatching food off his plate with his lower pair of arms. Vaggie was taking a sharpening stone to her spear between bites of food, softening when her princess veered the corner to give a quick peck on the lips. Sir Pentious was waving his spindly hands about, excitedly explaining the inner workings of his ‘flying machine’ to Niffty, who was absolutely more interested in the bug crawling on his top hat.

Overall a peaceful morning. Too peaceful. It unsettled him that there was one piece missing–

Ah. Out of the corner of his eye a small, white rat slowly crawled across the carpet. One with chubby, cherub cheeks. Fur mussed. Bags under its button eyes. A golden flush dotting his face, glowing like a firefly. And then suddenly everything clicked.

The lack of a wound or poison, but still feeling a fading tickle. The shared symptoms between them. Lucifer hadn’t just been exhausted that night. He hadn’t just healed him. Oh no, the bastard just had to take the holy poison for himself knowing that a half-holy body would survive. Though it was obvious he was equally– oh, what was that saying Rosie was kind enough to teach him– ‘going through it’. The fact that he would even risk inhaling a drop for someone he hated so much…

Hm.

Well, Alastor decided to himself, It would be remiss of him to not repay the favor. So with all the mercy of a heartless overlord, he kicked the stupid rat as far as it could go. With a startled squeak and a puff of smoke, the King of Hell tumbled across the floor. The dining room went silent for a moment, all eyes on the sudden appearance of Lucifer Morningstar lying on his back– disheveled, dazed, and stone still.

“Oh my gosh, dad!” Charlie yelped as her father pushed himself upright– moving stiffly, Alastor noted. “I didn’t see you come in…to…” As she helped him stand, her voice trailed off. “Are you okay?”

“I second that, fer the record.” Angel Dust waved a fork nonchalantly in the air, “Kingy’s always an early riser. What gives?”

“Worrywarts, aren’t they?” Lucifer jolted as Alastor popped up beside him with a screeching static, suddenly inches apart. His smirk widened as he tilted his head with a little, high pitched ‘hm!’ “I must say, I can’t help but feel the same. Your regal features look a bit. Oh, what’s the word?” He motions to his own face with a dramatic flourish. “Off-color.”

Lucifer’s glare broke when he put a hand up to his cheek. Then another, eyes growing wide as teacup saucers. It didn’t help when embarrassment overtook his feverish blush, brightening with the panic. “H-hah!” He chuckled nervously, summoning his top hat to tug the brim over his face. “W-wouldja look at that? Guess I fell asleep at the ol’ workshop again and I ran my power a little too– …t-too hot…” He sniffed sharply, rubbing at his nose.

“How uncouth.” Alastor circled the man like a ravenous beast. “Quite unlike yourself to be in such a state. Maybe you should be a little more honest. I can even give you a push.”

“Wh-whhhat are you–”

With a single poke of his cane Lucifer stumbled, grimacing in pain. And it only took one poke for that short-lived charade to fall apart.

“H-hehhh! No, ndo dabbit keeb idt togehh…together…”

“Your Majesty? Are you…?” Vaggie sat straighter, brow furrowed.

“Oof! That don’t look right.” Angel winced.

“Mhm.” Husk hummed into his mug of whisky.

“Oh my. The ultimate bad boy needs to be cleaned!” Niffty gasped.

“Poor thing.” Sir Pentious’s bottom lip wobbled.

“Dad?” Charlie set a hand on his shoulder. Then jumped back with a squeak as the single touch sparked the powder keg.

“Hit’schh!” Lucifer bent at the waist, merciless fit wracking an already exhausted body. “It’schh! It’shieww! Hit’SCHIEW! Hnt’SHIEW! HET’SCHH! ‘TSHH! TCHH! Hit’SCHH’HIEW! H-hihhh…hih! Hih– HITSCHHHH’HIEW!”

The room went silent. Angel Dust whistled lowly.

“My goodness, bless you!” Alastor gaped, every movement an exaggerated performance.

“Y-you did thahhh– thadt od purpose you sohd of ahhh– hah-HATSCHHHHIEW!” The fallen king pitched forward again. When he finally surfaced he was staggering, holding his aching head. “S’rry…’bout thadt.”

Before Charlie could run to catch him Alastor tutted, summoning his shadow to steady his rival, bending its lanky limb over his forehead. “My my, you sound awful! Simply dreadful! Overworked, perhaps? Or…oh, it couldn’t be! Is the King of Hell ill?”

“Oh shudt up Alasdtor– snff! I’b dot sigk! Idt’s jus’dt–”

“Allergies?” Husk deadpanned, expression completely unimpressed.

“Allergies!” Lucifer blurted, “Nodthin’ do worry your head over. So ihhh–...hih! hit’TSCHIU! HET’CHHHIEWW! Nghh, jus’dt ledt be–”

Charlie’s grip tightened, other hand reaching for a napkin. “Don’t run! Please?”

The King of Hell froze. He couldn’t help it. He was completely powerless when it came to his little girl. His flush started to hem the edges of silverware and dusted the windows, and he decided to look anywhere but at Charlie, distracting himself with a mucky nose blow into the makeshift tissue.

“I…I guess I’ll stick around a while longer. I feel a bit dizzy, anyway.” He chuckled, trying to pretend like every word didn’t painfully scrape at his chest. But Charlie smiled brightly, and she guided him to a chair Vaggie had already pulled out for him. Stepping back to wave her hands. Go on!

Lucifer blinked back shock when the room watched, silent with bated breath. “Oh– snff! Oh, well. Um. It’s not an emergency but. But I may be thirsty–”

Zipping back and forth, Niffty slid a cup of water by his side.

“Oh! Th-thank you.” Lucifer smiled bashfully. 

The silenced thickened, group looking on expectantly. 

“...More?!”

“More.” Charlie nodded, crossing her arms. Awestruck, the hermit crumbled as his closest residents and friends fussed and fretted. All the while Alastor sat comfortably in his chair and sipped his tea, humming to the tune of a new morning.

The perfectly chaotic puzzle was complete. Just the way he liked it.

[chestcongestion]

More chest cold An/gel ft. Hu/sk's feline hearing coming in clutch

[byakuyasdarling]

What I’m gathering as the prevailing issue of Haz//bin Hot//el which I PRAY is just the first episode, is Ang//el is so flat as a character. There is very little depth thus far, though it is just episode 1. A lot of the strongest characters don’t / and or hardly swear. I know it’s appropriate for A//dam and Hu//sk but I would LIMIT it to those characters exclusively so it differentiates their characterisation clearer. I don’t see any reason for a background character, Cha//rlie, or Va//ggie to swear consistently, nor the other leads. It really just interrupts the flow of the show. It has a lot of potential but it seems like it’s not explored.

I have hope as it’s just episode 1, and these rather large issues (that were COMPLETELY AND EASILY AVOIDABLE) are just temporary.

[instarsandcrime]

Oh, my heart! Your snzs for Hu/sk matched so well with his character. And they were so cute!

And An/gel Du/st?? The accent??? The teasing???? Hello?????? He was so in character, I could definitely imagine that dialogue straight from the show.

The purring and background music was so well done too, godddd. Keep up the great work! 🩷🖤

hi, hello, hola, bonjur, (don’t know if I spelled that right, my french origin is failing me!) so remember that poll you did that said we could vote between erasermic or huskerdust? And huskerdust won and u said to put down our ideas? Well I finally have one! Could you do one that angel and husk are cuddling and angel is petting and comforting which is causing husk to purr and husk is sick, and he’s purring and sneezing because the purring tickles his nose and gets a little annoyed at himself and angel kisses him and tells him he’s ok?

love your wavs btw (also credits to @ghostlychill for the congested purr headcanon)

thank you so much for the prompt I tried my best to make it

I present h/uskerdust cuteness

cw: purring, scratching, moaning, sneezing (duh), suggestive comments,cute nicknames

(no one gets to talk bad about my angel dust voice okay, accent are hard and i am still working on it)

❗ PLEASE NO REBLOGGING TO NON-KINK BLOGS ❗

script

*purring and cat napping husk*

Aww Whiskers. Seriously, the motorboat could wait.

*moaning and angels scratches him behind the ear*

That feel good whiskers

Shut up

Never snookums

*sniffs and rubs his nose into his chest fluff*

OH we gonna take motorboat to a whole new extreme, aren't we? You enjoying the fluff?

 If you don't shut up. I'll rip it off.

You know, I ain't afraid of a little pain.

*Sneezes into fluff*

Hey, watch the merchandise, baby? Do you know how much I'm worth?

Mm-hmm. And you're free to. *hitch*

 Ohh no, no, no no, no.

*grabs his nose*

Ugh Thanks.  I don’t know what’s *stifles in angles hand* fuck

 I think you have a cold.

No I dont

right, so you just like sneezing on my tits do you?

Do You have to say it like that.

 What? The truth? I thought you adored that.

Too tired to argue with you

 You want some scratches, kitten?

*purring and groaning*

 Oh, we haven't even gone anywhere and you're already moaning.

Shut up.

*Scratches and hitches and sneezes*

Aww bless you. Bless you. Goodness. That kitten noses of yours is mad at you.

You know it's all connected, right?

What?

Vocal cords and my nose *sneezes*

Are you telling me that you're sneezin’ because you're a cute little purr? Ohh, that's just hysterical.

It's not funny

Ohh, come on, little funny. Gotta admit that.

I don’t think it's that funny Angel

Ohh. Of course not kitten You know you wanna cuddle all this.

 You know, most people aren't really thrilled to cuddle a arachnid. There's a whole phobia against it.

The only phobia that I see is you being alone now, come here.

You do not get a complain if I sneeze on your tits

Never I’ll never, ever complain about any of your fuckin fluids on me. I mean, look at your cute little nose already bursting. *bops his nose*

 Angel, I don't want to sneeze anymore, so if you don't mind, could you refrain from messing with it.

Bless you.*kisses* You just fall asleep now Whiskers and let Daddy take care of everything.