#hq suga koshi

[summerlovingbaby]

bus ride

No one knew that she was dating Suga, she was on the schools tennis team, and most knew they were close, but a very limited amount of people knew they had made the precarious jump for from just friends to lovers, girlfriend just seemed to casual a word for how they felt together.

When Y/N didn’t have tennis pratice, she watched their volleyball pratice, and the stars happened to align, because for once, but unfortunately due to their simmualr schedules she never got to see him play in a game or pratice match, and he had only been to one of her games. But fortunately one of Y/N’s weekend matches was cancelled last minute, allowing her the ability to see Suga play a game in person, so they shared a seat together on a bus.

They stared the bus ride talking but the slow rocking of the bus they slowly were lulled into a dreamlike sleep state. Y/N ended up with her head resting in the crook of Sugas neck, her forehead seemed to fit perfectly there. Suga head was ontop of hers, placed on her hair. Every once and a while he would stir, wake up vaguely confused, then he would look for Y/N adjust her neck if it was cocked at what looked to be an uncomfortable angle, and in the mess of his tiredness he would press his lips to his face with his eyes still closed, and drift back off to sleep.

When they arrived to the area, the team almost didn’t want to wake them, they looked so cute in eachothers arms, they hesitated. By then bus came to a sudden halt, waking Suga with a quiet groan, upset that his peaceful nap was over. He wiped the sleep in his eyes before sleepily leaning to Y/N and kissing her on the forehead, and rubbing her upper thigh to gently wake her up.

She awoke with a quiet groan, woke up vaguely confused at her odd surroundings then remembered her location, and noticed the eyes of Sugas nosy teammates looking at them, where their bodies leaned into eachother, and then realized she should have the since enough to be embarrassed. 

She buried her face into his side, trying to hide the shade of soft pink that swept over her cheeks, and Suga tried his hardest not to smile at how cute she was when she was embarrassed at the depth of their affection.

taglist    

@ lucyheartfilias-wife @esposadomd

[takes1]

Some fluff w Koushi maybe?🫶

koushi realizing barista!reader is pretty cute

thanks for the request! this was a cute and refreshing prompt for me <3 much love!!

warnings. none info. sfw / fluff / college!au / coffeeshop!au / simple but cute / suga wears cardigans / timeskip!suga / like imagine english teacher suga pulling a stretchy cardigan over himself ugh so cute / 630 words links. haikyuu collection. masterlist. requests open. my ao3

"Good morning!" A gentle voice blessed your ears.

You smiled without looking up from the register.

Mr. Cardigan's ritual began. Glance over the menu, top-right to the espresso drinks, consider getting a decaf-- of course he won't go with the decaf, it was 7:40 and he was already tapping his foot to get to his 8 a.m class. Then he would decide on his tried and true as if it were a brand new idea:

"Double espresso, steamed milk, sweetened with honey."

He was wearing a face of mild shock, a touch of embarrassment, when you looked up from the order you already input.

"Oh, shit--," You laughed, warm at your slip-up, "I'm so sorry."

"Nono, it's- it's fine," He sported a similar color.

After a moment's hesitation, he chuckled and gave you his card.

Your Monday, Wednesday, Friday shift lined up with everyone who had a MWF 8 a.m (+9, 9:30, 10:00, and 10:30, regrettably). He was one of the few you cared to remember since he was such a cutie and he usually tipped you well.

"It's been a long morning, I get it," He graced you with a smooth forgiveness.

You sighed, relieved, and agreed wholeheartedly.

Spring semester was right at the close. Most were coming in to the Business building's little ground-level cafe early or late to cram for finals. He stayed consistent throughout the past few months, though, with his 7:40 sharp arrival.

7:44 if there was a line, but that was Mondays. Fridays weren't as busy because so many people skipped. But reliable Mr. Cardigan never missed a class.

"Almost done, though," You handed him his card back and spun the tip screen around for him, expecting nothing this time.

"Thank god," He tapped for No Receipt and closed his wallet.

He stood at the counter with his hands crossed in front of him to wait for his drink.

He never noticed how pretty your hands were before today. He looked down at his own kinda stumpy fingers. Then he watched -careful not to come across as creepy- at how gingerly you held the mug to the steam wand while screwing the filter in place.

The urge to talk to you nudged at the back of his throat, but he fell silent when you flipped the switch on.

The espresso machine was always a little too loud to talk over.

It was a graceful background noise to those who studied in this lobby, and a good backdrop to stay quiet to.

This time, he didn't feel as though your usual exchange was natural anymore. He wanted to talk, but didn't know quite how. The usual 4-minute wait felt like ages, but today he wasn't keen on leaving until he spoke to you again.

Your eyes flitted over his when you turned towards the lobby side for the honey.

His broad shoulders tensed and he turned his head to take false interest in some of the artwork on the walls. He didn't realize he was staring so hard.

He wondered how long you had been paying attention to him. If was just habit, or maybe a fondness had been growing and he was always too tired to notice anything other than how well you made his drink.

Now it was impossible not to overthink your friendly customer-service smile, or the smiley face you always put on the side of his cup.

Say something!

He repeated it so many times that his mind had been made unintentionally blank when you held the cup up for him to take over the counter.

"Good luck with finals," You said softly.

When he reached for his latte, your fingertips brushed for the tiniest moment. An intense heat crept up the back of his neck.

A shaky, "You, too," was all he could manage.

masterlist.

requests open.

[mzhari4]

bench players

[tar0star]

sugaaaa the loml 😖

[guitarstringed-scars]

colored pencils-koushi sugawara

masterlist

one:

you pack your notebook, pencils, laptop, and any other item you can possibly think of into your bag. it’s like you are 8 years old again, and getting ready for your first day of school, shoving all of your fresh new school supplies into the same dirty backpack from last year as your mom shouts at you to hurry up from the kitchen. this time around, there is no one to shout at you, all of your roommates fast asleep in their rooms. it’s 7 am, no wonder none of them are awake.

theres also no need to hurry. you’ve planned out this day plenty of times in your head, and now that you are all packed you have 15 minutes to spare before you need to leave the apartment to make it to the classroom on time. your version of on time is exactly 7 minutes early. early enough to make a good impression, but not so early that the teacher wont be ready for you.

as you throw yourself across the couch your shared cat, fern, looks up at you with pleading eyes. you let out a quiet groan before standing up from your comfortable position, walking over to the cabinet, and putting some food into her bowl. you kneel down next to her, petting her head as she licks it up.

“greedy, spoiled cat.” you coo quietly.

with one final pet, you stand up, grab your things, and head out the door. you still have 9 minutes before you technically need to leave, which gives you just enough time to stop at the convenience store below your apartment and get a coffee. you decide that the train ride will be just enough time to drink it. it would be rude to show up with a coffee just for yourself, so you make a mental note to ask your teacher and the other student teacher which kind they like for tomorrow.

the other student teacher, you think, i wonder what they’ll be like. i know that this elementary school is in the middle of two universities so they share student teachers from different schools, so it has to be someone from there. especially since no one else in my class has complained about it…

every single person you've met goes through your mind as the machine whirs, filing your styrofoam cup with coffee. you pick up the scalding hot cup and begin to fill it with creamer. the sounds of the morning rush hour pick up outside as you check out with the exhausted cashier and head out the automatic doors.

you spend your short train ride checking the time every 15 seconds. you're still on track to be early. the subway car is full, everyone in their own world. the man holding the hand of a child with a uniform and backpack on, the woman reading her book, and you, looking down at your new shoes and skirt, feeling like a kid again.

you step off of the train, heading up the subway stairs as you enter the schools address into your map app. you don't spend much time in this area, and you feel a little out of place in your colored clothing which clashes against the majority black, white, and beige.

you finally spot the entrance to the school. you stop for one second before you go in, taking a deep breath, and then open the door. the halls of the school are empty for the most part, only being occupied by a few teachers. the walls are covered in children's art scattered across bulletin boards, and murals on every corner.

you follow the signs pointing to the principals office, turning the handle to enter. you're greeted by the front desk secretary.

"good morning! you must be the other student teacher!" she has an infectious bubbly energy, you notice.

"yes, my name is y/n, it's nice to meet you!" you smile.

"so nice to meet you as well, you can just have a seat over there." she gestures with her hand to the waiting area. its occupied by a man your age with silver hair, and you assume this is the other student teacher. you sit down in the chair right next to him, quickly leaning over with your hand out.

"hi, i'm y/n l/n."

"koushi sugawara!" he smiles, eagerly shaking your hand. "so you're the other student teacher?"

"yep! i was surprised to see we'd be sharing." you reply.

"oh yeah, me too. nothing against you, but i was a little disapointed."

you laugh a bit.

"yeah, i was too, but we should be able to find a good balance. hopefully there are plenty of kids in the class."

sugawara opens his mouth to respond, but is quickly cut off by the creaking of a door. a short woman steps out from behind it, and greets the two of you.

"hello! come on in!"

you both quickly shoot up from your seats, rushing to the room. koushi steps to the side, letting you into the office first, then closes the door behind you two. you both sit in the seats across from the desk and yet again you are reminicing on your elementary school years. sitting in the principals office after a small spat on the playground.

you glance at sugawara through the corner of your eye. you notice his mole on his cheek, and the way his hair falls. hes quite pretty, you think. your thoughts are interupted by the principal beginning to speak.

"well, my name is mrs. akiyama, i'm the principal here. you will both be assigned to kindergarten class 4, which is room 1024. i'll walk you both there once its time. your teacher, ms. kato, will be there to greet you, and go over all assignments with you. any questions?"

"nope!" you both chime in, turning to look at each other in surprise about your synchronization.

"alright then, right this way!" mrs. akiyama stands up and leads the two of you out of her office, and down the long hallway, before stopping in front of a classroom. the nameplate reads 1024, and underneath the numbers is the name "ms. kato". the door of the classroom and the bordering walls are empty and drab, compared to the other doors throughout the hallway.

ms. akiyama pulls the handle and opens the door to the room, where you are greeted by the smell of coffee, and even emptier walls, almost void of color. it looks nothing like a kindergarten classroom.

your trio is quickly recognized by who you assume to be ms. kato.

ms. kato is a woman with messy, frazzled brown hair tied up into a braid, and the only sense of color on her outfit is her navy blue shoes. she looks exactly like the rest of the people outside of the school.

the colors of mrs. akiyamas pink blazer, sugawaras green cardigan, and your orange pants are contrasted from ms. kato and her drab room, and you begin to feel a pit form in your stomach as you think about it. there is little joy in this room, you decide.

"you must be ms. l/n and mr. sugawara." ms. kato greets, with her lips pressed into a straight line. you hope this is her attempt at a smile, but you think she might just not be too excited to see you two.

you and sugawara both nod, and stick out your hands to be shaken. she leaves both of you hanging.

mrs. akiyama seems to take notice of the awkwardness, and excuses herself from the room.

"look," ms. kato starts once she hears the door close behind the principal, "i only really asked for a student teacher because this work is getting too much for me. when i originally signed up for this job, i wanted to teach year 6, but they stuck me with the kindergarten. i've been stuck her for 5 years now, and haven't been able to escape. i'm finally switching next year, so i really just needed someone to take some of the workload. i guess i got lucky and got two of ya."

you blink.

"what i'm trying to say," she starts again, "is you'll be getting the most hands on teaching of anyone from either of your schools."

no, not really! you think. this is going to be bad.

a/n: i love this fic already having too much fun writing it.

taglist: @mylahrins @wyrcan @phoenix-eclipses

[lele-11]

Suga: Will you be the “A” to my “gay”?

Tanaka: Will you be the “I” to my “bi”?

Nishinoya: Will you be the “I” to my “pride”?

Kageyama, stuttering: Will- uhm erm, uh.. g-gay?

[karasuno-planet]

Me again :3 How about Sugawara introducing his crush to the team cause they just showed up out of nowhere and getting teased by how obvious he is? :>

You Had Us At Hello | Sugawara Koshi

suga x fem!reader

wc: 0.8k

warnings: themes of comparing yourself/feeling insignificant, but happy ending

a/n: big apologies for taking sooo long to write this, I've been so busy with my summer job! but i am active I swear, and when I see y'alls likes and reblogs ngl I kick my feet a little. here's some suga!!!!! (requests open!)

(gif not mine)

Another day, another practice match. By now, Sugawara had grown accustomed to standing on the sidelines and cheering instead of expecting any play time. And that was okay. He would support the team by putting on a smile even when that was the opposite of how he really felt. And when he watched Kageyama make such beautiful sets, all he felt was a hunger to grow even better himself. He never let jealousy overtake him, because that's just the way he is.

But when he saw your face entering the gym, walking straight towards him, his heart dropped. You knew he wasn't a regular on the team anymore, but knowing that didn't stop him from feeling a tinge of embarrassment on top of his already building nerves. He had been harboring a crush on you for God knows how long.

Before he even knew it his eyes were locked on you. Daichi and Asahi quickly took notice, as they were the only ones who knew of his hopelessness when it came to you. By the time you got to them Asahi had practically turned to face away from you entirely, his face completely pink with blush. So much so that it almost looked like he was the one with a crush, but everyone who knew him knew he gets nervous with secrets, and puts so much effort into making a good impression on people that his friends care about. Suga almost felt bad for him.

"Suga!" You smiled, giving him a little hug as you greeted him, then turning and hugging Daichi as well. You gave a little wave to Asahi, still turned away in embarrassment.

The way Suga smiled as he talked to you, and the slight blush on his cheeks was all the team needed to know to understand exactly who you were.

Hinata beamed from a few feet away, nudging Tsukishima with his arm in his attempt to whisper to him. Tsukki just rolled his eyes, but as he watched Suga, there was an unmistakable little side smile on his lips.

Nishinoya was quick to his curiosity, inserting himself into your conversation and nudging Daichi out of the way to talk to you. Out of the corner of his eye, Suga saw Daichi begin speaking awfully secretively to Kageyama, who just exchanged a little nod with him in return.

Soon enough, he saw just what they were talking about. Kageyama started very obviously rubbing his shoulder blade with a grimace on his face. He and Daichi walked over towards Suga to talk to coach Ukai.

Daichi initiated the conversation, "Coach, Kageyama's shoulder has really been hurting him..."

To everyone's surprise, Kageyama played along. Convincingly. "hmph, yeah... hurts pretty badly."

Daichi continued, "maybe he should sit this one out."

"I guess it's for the best," Kageyama sighed.

Coach Ukai seemed a little confused, but accepted, "Um, okay..." he directed his attention towards Suga, "Sugawara, it's all you today."

His stomach nearly turned all the way over, but he just nodded his head and started stretching. Unsurprisingly, the thing that calmed his nerves the most was when you spoke up, "Wow, I get to see you play today?"

"Uh- yeah! I guess so!"

"That's great—but hey— no pressure, okay?" You rested your hand on his shoulder and he just about melted into the floor of the gym.

"Got it."

Suddenly Tanaka reached out and pulled Suga away from you by his collar from behind, and merged him into the team huddle he just about missed as he lost track of time with you. Out of your earshot, they all shared a little laugh at Suga.

"Got a little something on your face there..." Noya laughed, pointing at his rosy cheeks.

"Shhh- Nishinoya!"

Tanaka ruffled up his hair, "I think you're okay, your little girlfriend is walking off to the student section..."

Suga sighed with relief.

"You didn't tell us about your crush, Suga-senpai!!" Hinata eagerly prodded at him.

"Guess it never came up.." Suga rubbed the back of his neck, feeling pressure from being the center of attention. He felt Asahi put a comforting hand on his back, silently reassuring him.

"Sugawara." Kageyama's voice rang out with the intensity of a raging fire, "Do well today."

Whether that was meant to be a threat or his way of giving words of encouragement, Suga just swallowed the lump in his threat and nodded his head. They put their hands together and cheered, and right as Suga began to take his first step onto the court, he heard Yamaguchi's familiar voice in his ear,

"Do well for her, and for us too."

Suga turned around to see a box full of the most supportive teammates he could've asked for, and your smiling face in the crowd right past them. Maybe it took seeing you there to realize just how important his role on the team was, regular or not.

[masterlist]

[satorisoup]

ᯓ 𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 !

𝓁𝓊𝓂𝒶, your shortcake order is ready ! 🍰

“ IS YOUR NUMBER ON THE MENU ? ” ft. sugawara koshi

oh, how horribly you have fallen.

it only started out as one trip to the corner bakery, wanting to try the newest pastry your friends had been absolutely raving about. easily influenced, your legs carved a path straight to the front door.

the smell upon entering was almost overwhelmingly delicious, divine in a sugary sweet that had your mouth watering, senses overcome with the tasteful smell of baked cookies and warm pies. glass cases filled to the brim with sweet treats, plates and wooden stands holding cupcakes as if it were a food throne.

your feet stayed planted in front of the display, unsure if you would even be able to choose just one. the menu didn’t help either, far too many choices of drinks and treats listed for you to try. you ultimately decided to play it safe, mind landing on what your friends had said was all the rage, a slice of strawberry shortcake.

“ um, excuse me ? ”

your jumbled out of your indecisiveness at the sound of a mans voice coming from behind the counter, hand waving at you in a warm welcome. your feet move on their own out of embarrassment, not noticing him calling out to you before.

almost stumbling over yourself, your franticness washes away once you look up to the worker that had been beckoning you over.

a beautiful sight to behold, that’s what he was. silver hair swept clean from his face, eyes a honeyed brown that captivated you at first glance. a soft smile graced his face, the small birthmark under his eye scrunching just the tiniest bit. are you sure your friends were raving about the food ? or was it really about the absolutely stunning worker ?

your mouth was unknowingly left partly agape, eyes shining with adoration until he speaks in a soft, fluffy tone again.

“ sorry, were you ready to order ? i could ring you up. ”

you’re not sure if the intense smells of baked goods were making your mind go fuzzy, or if it was simply based off of how incredibly handsome the man before you was, but you’re almost positive the next words out of your mouth weren’t supposed to come out in such a confident manner.

“ is your phone number on the menu ? ”

sure, the cake was good, and you could definitely see why your friends were raving about it. but the true treat of the day was walking out of the unfamiliar bakery, with who’s said to be “koshi” ’s phone number on the back of your receipt.

thank you for joining satorisoup’s bakevent ! it was lovely having you here for this special occasion <3 come visit my bakery again soon !ヾ(*'▽'*)

here’s your receipt @lu-naes ! 🧾

[system-to-the-madness]

Cherry Blossom Study Date 🌸 Sugawara Kōshi x Reader

Pairing: Sugawara Kōshi x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: fluff Word Count: 1 199 Summary: Suga invited you to a study date… only that he forgot to ask for it to be a date.

Sakura Festival Masterlist - Masterlist

Suga felt infinitely stupid as he was sitting on the old wooden bench, with his elbow propped against the equally old wooden table made for picknicks, and brushed another light-pink petal away from his notebook. An hour ago, he had been in the highest of spirits, not even bothered by having to ride up the slope of the mountain with his crappy bicycle. In his bag, he had not only packed his books, notebooks, and pencil case, but also two bottles of Calpis soda and a box full of freshly cut fruit; everything one needed for a study date under the blooming cherry trees.

Except, when you had arrived, it had suddenly dawned on Suga that he had never asked you for this to be a date. He had been so excited that you had agreed to revise last semester’s lessons with him, so you were prepared for the new semester, that he had forgotten to ask if you wanted this to be a date.

Now he sat with his fingers clenched around his pencil, pressing the tip a little too hard into the paper, trying to keep the frown off his face. Seriously though, how could he have been so stupid? This was the best proof that a.) being in love sucked, because it turned him into a complete idiot, and b.) that he was probably never going to be in any kind of relationship if he continued being such a lovesick fool each time.

To make matters worse, he had imagined the two of you lightly chatting while revising and going through the material you had compiled to study for last semester’s final exams, all while snacking on the fruit he had brought, and since it would have been a date, he would have had a valid excuse to sneak glances at you as often as he liked.

But now here he was, silently staring at his paper, the box with cut fruit still in his bag (because it would have been awkward to bring snacks to a casual study session, right?), and his eyes stubbornly glued to the paper in front of him. He couldn’t even enjoy the soft spring breeze, the warm sunlight on his face or the pink petals above his head and all around him really, as the wind carried them to the ground.

Another petal landed on his notebook, and he stared at it for a moment. All he could think about was how it was too late to ask you for a second study session, but as a date this time. There was no time pressure so it would be weird to ask to meet again in the next days, but the cherry blossom would soon fade. There were another three, maybe four days in which the blossoms were beautiful, and then the magic would be over. He had missed his chance. He bit his lip, in an attempt to not let himself be overwhelmed by this thought of failure, and sighed quietly, which was precisely when you suddenly spoke up.

“Suga-kun?”

His head snapped up, deep brown eyes focusing on you sitting next to him.

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you something?"

He did his best to put on his usual smile, warm, safe, somewhat carefree. The captain of another volleyball team in high school had apparently called him “Mr. Refreshing” as a nickname. That kind of smile.

“Isn’t that a question already,” he teased, but when you only rolled your eyes at him, he chuckled, not missing the way the corners of your lips were raised as well. “Sure, what’s up?”

Tapping your pen against the paper a few times, your eyes left his and looked out over the park instead, where families and groups of friends were sitting on blankets under the Sakura trees. After a short moment, you looked back to Suga, as if you had found the determination you needed to overcome whatever nervousness had made you hesitate before.

“Is this a date?”

Suga blinked. What?

“It’s just…” you sighed and leant back against the backrest of the bench you were sitting on, looking over the park again. “I thought it might be, and I really wanted it to be, but you’ve been kind of… quiet and I’m not sure how to take that or what’s really going on now. And I’m thinking, maybe you didn’t mean this as a date but realized I did, and it made you uncomfortable- which I would understand, I really do! And it’s completely fine if this is not a-”

“Wait, wait, hold up- you wanted this to be a date?” Suga stared at you wide eyed, finding you were looking back at him with the same expression.

“Well, I-,” you averted your gaze again, before nodding. “Yes, actually.”

Suga couldn’t help the laughter that suddenly spilled over his lips.

“And here I was worried,” he laughed, relief flooding through his whole body. When he saw you confused expression, he quickly explained. “I also wanted this to be a date, but when I arrived, I realized I had never asked you and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

At his explanation you laughed too. “I’m glad I asked then,” you giggled, making Suga nod enthusiastically.

“Oh, and I even brought drinks and snacks,” Suga suddenly remembered. While reaching down to his bag, he kept talking. “For the past hour I’ve been scolding myself for being such a fool and forgetting to ask! And how I couldn’t ask for a proper study date under the Sakura trees now, because it would be weird to meet twice to study in such a short time, especially since there’s nothing to study for!”

Again you laughed, the sound making butterflies erupt in Suga’s stomach. God, he loved hearing your cheerful voice.

“Well, I personally wouldn’t mind, if we went to the Sakura Night Market together, the day after tomorrow,” you grinned as Suga dove back up, presenting the two bottles of drink and the box with the cut fruit to you.

“Wouldn’t you,” he asked, “Now if that’s the case, why don’t we go? As a date though, just to make that clear.”

“As a date,” you agreed, laughing. “And this is a date too.”

“To be honest, a study date is kinda lame for a first date, isn’t it,” Suga pondered, opening the box and offering you sliced strawberries and apples.

“Oh, I think it’s cute,” you shrugged and thanked him for the offered food. “But we should get back to studying if we want to finish here before it gets too cool.”

You were right. Currently it was still warm, but as soon as the sun was going to disappear behind the mountains, it was going to get cold quickly.

So Suga tried focusing back on his study materials, glad that the strange silence from before had evaporated and instead you kept making comments about the work to one another every few minutes while sharing the snacks he had brought and kept sneaking glances at one another. But the whole time Suga could barely focus because his mind was still hung up on you thinking a study date with him was cute.

[summerlovingbaby]

funeral

funeral

Y/N walked slowly to the door, her black ballerina flats clicking agaist the wood of her apartment. The room was crowded and stuffy, filled with tense tears and distant family Y/N hadn’t seen since she was little. She didn’t have the heart to tell them to leave. She got them drinks and food, and made sure they were properly accommodated.

The funeral was 2 hours ago, and she wore a little black dress, that she had to buy because she never needed one before, and she put on her black ballerina flats that she never wore, because the back of the heel dug into her ankle, and put on makeup because she wanted to look nice in photographs, and thought the makeup would give her a good excuse not to cry, and went to her mothers funeral, where they burned her body and she was sent back home with a little box of her bones to put on the mantle.

She pulled open the door, without looking through the people hole surprised to see her team, she lifted her eyebrows at the group, all dressed in black suits. Suga standing at the front with a bouquet of white flowers. None of them were smiling which was strange for the team, usually smiling and rambunctious, the distraut mood from the inside of the house, seemed to infect them. Even Nishinoya, who she had never seem in a bad mood more than a handful of times, seemed to be somber.

“ What are you doing here?” She asked softly.

She hadn’t told them what happened. She found out her mom died a week ago, and it wasn’t until she received her little box of bones that she internalized it. She had been so concerned with relatives, and planning the funeral services she never stopped to realize that her mom was dead. It was so sudden and unexpected, just one day she was here and the next she was gone. She got the call Monday at noon, her mom was hit by a car on her way to lunch and died en route to the hospital. She left school early on Monday, lied to the team, and said she was sick, and the team hadn’t heard from her since.

When the team first heard, they assumed it was a minor flu, they sent her well wishes but by Wednesday they hadn’t heard from her, and her absence was noticeable at practice. She was their photographer but took on some assistant managerial roles to assist Kiyoko. And on Thursday Suga made a desperate plea to Takeda who let it slip that Y/N was skipping school to handle funeral preparations, and the wake would be held Friday afternoon, and the funeral would be held Saturday morning.

“ Did Takeda tell you?”

Suga nodded and licked his lips, he offered her the vase of flowers, which she accepted with a vague bow. It then struck her with how rude she was being, she hadn’t said thank you or bothered to invite them in. She stepped to the side and opened her arm motioning them in. The room was crowded with extended family that she hadn’t seen in years.

“ Can I get you anything? Water?” she asked.

Suga sadly shook her head, she looked so small and fragile in the large bustling room. The lights made the purple hues under her skin stand out under her eyes. She looked remarkably thin in her dress, it seemed to swallow her whole.

“ No,” he said quietly. He looked around, the house was sparkling clean, and the various guest seemed well cared for. He watched as Y/N stood awkwardly in the center of her room, chewing at her lip. Someone called her name, and an empty glass of water shot in the air, Y/N nodded and disappeared in a small crowd of relatives to refill the water.

Y/N only had her mom, her dad left when she was a toddler, and no siblings. All her grandparents were dead, and her aunts and uncles she rarely if ever saw. She planned the whole funeral service by herself, and was presuably caring for all the guest afterwords despite her grief.

She returned about a minute later and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. It must have fallen from her updo while she was bustling through the crowd.

“ Can I offer you guys a seat?” she said, motioning to the vaguely empty couch.

Suga watched her, the way she subtly shook and shifted despite her stance. She seemed to sway slightly, and despite her smile, she looked like she was on the verge of collapse. She looked thinner, she had only managed to eat scraps since Monday, too caught up in funeral preperations to prepare a proper meal for herself. And her home was so costanlt crowded with guest, she could hardly have the space to breathe.

“ Y/N,” he said softly. He slowly moved towards her, and let his hand graze the small of her back.

It was no secret that Y/N and Suga had something together. To anyone it was obvious that they were clearly more than friends, though nobody seemed to know how to label it. It was love at first sight, at least for him, he saw her in the hall, hunched over her plate fighting her friends for food, and knew that was a girl he wanted to know. They seemed to talk in a language that they could only understand.

He gently guided her to the couch, and her knees pratically gave way underneath her. She had skipped breakfast to take care of her younger cousins and hadn’t thought of sipping water since Friday morning. Her head was starting to ache from the low buzz in the room, and she wanted nothing more than to clean. She folded her hands in her lap and crossed her ankles, looking straight at the wall.

“ You should leave,” she squeaked, “ you guys should be practicing,” they had regionals coming up, and the last thing they needed was distractions. It was very important to the team that they make it to nationals. Especially the 3rd years, it was their last chance.

Suga didn’t respond, just sat down next to her and pressed his forhead into his jaw. He placed his hand on the back of her neck and his other hand on top of his. She felt so cold, and he felt warm. He didn’t speak for a moment, just let her soak up the warmth that he gave her. She sniffed wetly and chewed on her lip.

“ I���m so sorry,” he whispered, “ I am so sorry for your loss.”

“ Thank you,” she squeaked.

“ You did everything by yourself huh?” he asked. Y/N nodded. 

“ It was just me and mom, and now it’s just me,” she squeaked, “ I did everything, I took care of everything,  the funeral and I took care of everyone,” she said.

Her mom was all she had, and now her mom was gone, and she was completely alone.

“ Have you had any food or water?” he asked quietly. He took her lack of response as a no.

Yamaguchi, who stood in the back volunteered to go get a glass, nodding at Suga as he listened to the complex water instructions. She liked her water a specific way, she hated bottled water and preferred it from the sink. But she always put a little salt in the water because it  tasted better and it generally made her feel more hydrated. She didn’t like ice in most of her drinks because it watered down most of her soda’s and she hated the way cold water felt when it went down her throat. But she liked to chew on ice cubes because she was anemic, so Yamaguchi returned with a glass of water, and a cup of ice.

She took the cup of ice and fished out a ice cube from the cup, and placed it in her mouth, chewing it until it melted enough for her to swallow.

He moved his lips to kiss the side of her face, something he did all the time, but never with as much tenderness and softness as he did before. His hand on the back of her neck genlt massasaged the area, and he squeezed the hand in her lap.

“ I am so proud of you for being so strong, and taking care of everyone,” he said. “ But you don’t have to do that now, let me take care of you,” he spoke softly.

Even under the best circumstances, Y/N was stubborn and especially resistant to help. She didn’t like asking, so she didn’t, and if offered she said no about a dozen times before she accepted it begrudgingly. All her needs often fell to the wayside, and she helped other people before herself.

“ I bought a new dress,” she said quietly. She usually wouldn’t wear a dress like this, but she picked it out because she thought her mother would have liked it. “ My mom would have thought it was pretty.”

“ I think you look beautiful,” he whispered, he kissed her again, and the sensation of her lips brought her vaguely from her trance. “ Tell me what you need?”

She let out a wet sniff, she wanted to be alone, but she was trapped in a cramped apartment, full of people she was sure her mother only talked to when someone died. She was stuck catering to their emotions, taking care of them of them, and bringing them food and water. Listening to people talk about her mom, people who barely knew her.

“ I want everyone to leave,” she said quietly. “I invited them because they’re family, but I hardly know them, and I’ve had to take care of them, but I told them they could stay until 4, but I'm tired and my head hurts and can hardly breathe,” she said, her voice was growing panicked.

He looked at the clock, it was 3:50 and no one showed any signs of leaving. A good number of them were vaguely drunk and those who weren’t seemed to be comfortable. He moved his hand to the small of her back, and rubbed in circles.

“ Okay, so how does it sound if we help people get going and then we take you to that ramen place on the corner, the one we went to last week, and we can get you some food, and maybe go on a walk in the park, with all those pretty flowers and trees and get you some fresh air, that’ll make you feel a little better, and then we can go from there?”

Y/N liked the sound of that, she couldn’t remember the last time she went outside and appreciated the beauty in things, and still couldn’t stop smelling formaldehyde, from the wake. She wasn’t hungry, but felt a sinking hollowness in the bottom of her stomach.

The team watched on in abject confusion. They had never seen Y/N so close to the brink of falling apart, she always seemed so sure of herself and confident, and so ontop of things. Making sure everyone was so hydrated and feed, and now they just watched as she barely hung on, so small and fragile. The way her skin stretched over her features.

Suga, took the glass of now melted ice and handed it to Tadashi, and traded it for the glass of water. “Why don’t you drink a few sips, and we’ll start helping people leave.”

She took a small sip, and Suga kissed her on the cheek before turning to the team, who was waiting paitently for instructions. The team then split off, going around the room, pilotely helping them to the door with ease. Soon the room was clear, but the air smelt stale, and was filled with a static silence.

The silence seemed to ease Y/N, though she couldn’t get past the subtle stench of sweat and staleness. She stood suddenly and looked around the apartment, “ I have to clean,” she said suddenly.

And walked to the kitchen, her little black ballerina flats clicked across the apartment until she got to a cupboard and pulled out a broom, and began to swep up the dust diligently. She picked up the little plastic cups and put them in a plastic bag.

“ Y/N maybe you should-” Dachi started, he was gonna tell her to sit down, that they would clean the mess later.

Suga silenced him by raising his hand, and the group all watched miserably as Y/N did her chores. She moved robotically from one task to the neck. She swept the floors, and got rid of the plastic cups, mopped the floors and dusted. She then moved to the kitchen, and began washing the dishes, rolling up her sleeves so water wouldn’t grt on her new dress. 

She polished the silverware, and her moms crystal set and but them away. She then dug through the cabinet, pulled out a large yellow picture, and rather strangely began to make a large container of lemonade, only looking up to ask if they wanted ice in their drink or not.

She took the pitcher of lemonade and placed it on the table in the living room before walking to the doorway, stepping out of her shoes and into a pair of slippers and walked across the room back to the kitchen and bounced on her toes.

“ Are you guys hungry, can I make you something to eat.”

Suga patted the seat next to him and slowly shook his head. Y/N stalked to the sofa and sank down slowly next to him. She looked around the apartment, the it was clean, nothing left to obsissivley wipe down or meticulously sweep. She let her lip form into a pout, and he put a comforting hand on her lower stomach, and she fell apart.

She let out a violet sob that shook her entire her entire body, and sunk into a ball with a loud and painful sounding wail. Suga couldn’t do much in the way of comfort, nothing he said was going to solve her problem. He couldn’t give her what she really wanted. He couldn’t make her mom any less dead. He could only pffer her support now that she was gone.

“ Oh honey,” he whispered, he brought his hands to her scalp and massaged it lightly. “ Let it all out.”

It struck her then, that she hadn’t cried yet. She didn’t cry when she found out, or in the days after. Didn’t cry at all, just buried herself in funeral preperations, and making sure everything was sparkling and clean because her mother liked it that way. And now with nothing left to clean, it all hit her like a truck, and left her in pieces.

“ I miss my mom,” she said through broken sobs. 

“ I know, I know,” he said soothingly. He motioned for the rest of the team to sit, and they all sat where they stood. Most of them looked uncomfortable, but the 3rd years looked like they were barely keeping away tears.

She cried for a while, until her sobs sounded like wheezing and it hurt her chest to breathe. Her eyes went dry and her face was puffy and her vision was blurred. She sat up, and untucked herself, letting her feet fall flat on the ground.

She then realized how embarrassed she should have been. She fell into hysterics infront of her friends, and most of them looked at her vaguely horrified. She knew her makeup was all smeared and her dress was wet with tears, and her face felt all hot with embarrassment. She wiped her face using the back of her hand, and wiped the snot from her nostrils on the sleeve of her dress.

“ I’m sorry,” she said, “ I’m sorry you have to see me like this, I’m a mess,” she sqeaked.

“ It’s okay,” he said.

“ I don’t know what to do?” she said. She didn’t know how to move on without her mom. She was 18 now, so she wouldn’t go into foster care. She would be finically fine after she graduated because the apartment was paid off and her mother had a fairly extensive savings account. Not to mention Y/N had quite a bit of pocket change from the photography we did on the side. She would be fine until she graduated highschool in a few months,  and then college soon after.

She would be fine, but couldn't quite comprehend her moms absence. She was alone now, her only family was gone. She couldn’t comprehend that she wouldn’t be there anymore. No parents to visit her at parents weekend, nobody to stand for her at graduation. She would get home from school to an empty apartment, her mom wouldn’t be there for food or comfort or when she needed her mom. And she really needed her mom.

“ Why don’t we sit here for a bit,” he said. 

Suga knew her, he knew her well. She was kind and gentle and cared so deeply for others she sometimes forgot to care for herself. She was a good photographer because she spent so much time looking for the beauty in others. He knew that she would not let herself grieve, because she typically ignored all the bad feelings and hoped they would go away. 

“ We can sit here for a bit, and you can feel all your feelings, then you can change into something more comfortable, and we can get you some food, does that sound okay?”

Y/N nodded, and let her head fall to his shoulder, she used her sleeve to wipe at her face, and cried a bit. It was no longer pained sobs and wheezing, but tears falling freely down her face with an occasional sniffle. After about 45 minutes she sat upright.

“ I think I’m hungry,” she said softly.

Suga nodded and helped her stand, and watch as she disappeared in her room. His face fell to a frown. She waddled around the corner moments later wearing sweatpants and a oversized t-shirt. She wiped the smears of makeup off, and took down her precarious updo and let it fall to her shoulders.

They walked with her to dinner, and watched her poke at a bowl of ramen before eating a handful of bites, and trailed behind Suga and Y/N as they walked in the park. The pretty one with all the flowers and trees, he took her hand, and it all seemed right, and the fresh air and food seemed to make her a bit better. She still looked horribly sad, but no longer had an era of hopelessness. Suga hadn’t managed to coax a smile from her, but she looked rather lively all things considered.

[rjhpandapaws]

He/They/It gendefluid Suga

[heartsoji]

meeting and falling in love with sugawara koshi.

strangers → friends → lovers suga x reader

word count: 2k

warnings: not proofread sorry it was too long and i didn't feel like it

a/n: i might make a "dating sugawara koshi" for this! i'll link it if/once i do ^^

suga had always felt like the guy who was so close, yet so far.

you both kind of knew each other because you both went to karasuno and you were kiyoko’s younger sister.

you knew him, and he knew you. however, you had only ever briefly said hi a couple of times, and you had stopped by the gym a few times to give your sister a lunch, a message, or to take her home. he was nothing more than an acquaintance. and due to the fact that he was a year older than you, you assumed that he probably viewed you as shimizu’s little kid sister, which honestly, he did at first.

one day, however, he came over to your house along with daichi-san and asahi-san to study with kiyoko.

he came way too early, (like way too early even for him) so both daichi and asahi weren't there, and your sister was out running errands because she hadn't anticipated that he'd be so early, so she wasn't there either. when he came, you were in the middle of a destress-cooking-sesh (that's what i call them bc i have little cooking sessions to destress)

you couldn't really let one of your sister's closest friends stand outside your house, so you let him, served him some tea, and got back to cooking.

since there wasn't much to do, he just watched you cook while the two of you made small talk.

he was amazed at the skill, precision, and passion that went into the food that you made.

you let him have it because you didn't really want any, you just wanted to cook.

mans was blown away.

it was possibly one of the best things he had ever eaten.

something about the food brought the two of you together, and the room became instantly less awkward. the more he learned about you, the more he realized that you weren't actually a little kid. sure, you were in nishinoya's year, but you had a summer birthday and you were actually the same age as him. plus, despite you in the year below and him being pretty smart, you two somehow were taking some classes of the same level. the more he talked with you, the more he realized that you weren't as little as he initially thought.

the two of you began noticing each other more and more in the hallways. you had always gone the same path to your classes, but the two of you were for some reason only now noticing that you took the same path.

the two of you began to talk more and more, gradually learning more about each other's interests and personality traits.

suga was kind. he was sweet, understanding, compassionate, and had a dorky sense of humor. he was gentle, soothing, caring, and had a very high EQ.

you began visiting the volleyball practices more often, both to support your sister, but also because getting closer to suga made your curiosity in the volleyball club grow.

maybe suga hadn't realized it because he had known you since you were in middle school, but you were gorgeous. i mean, you and kiyoko share the shimizu bloodline, how could you not be absolutely stunning? but perhaps it took tanaka and nishinoya pointing out in a very loud and straightforward manner that you were indeed beautiful was what made him realize it.

you often brought homemade food for you and your sister when you went to the gym to watch, and suga found your lunches so intriguing. your food was thoughtful, smart, complex, and delicious. you would keep in mind kiyoko's preferences, what would and wouldn't be good in a packed bento, and how you could find new flavors with spices, ingredients, and techniques.

when you offered him a bite for the first time, he happily accepted and was in awe of how delicious it was. the first time he ate one of your bentos consisted of odeng, kimchi, oi muchim, kongnamul muchim, hobak bokkeum, mu saengchae, and myeolchi bokkeum, (these r some of my fav korean banchans if ur wondering! im korean btw) an onigiri with a smoked spicy anchovy filling, and extra spicy mapo tofu made with a homemade vegan meat. you offered him some because you got carried away and made too much, but you hadn't expected his reaction.

you hadn't expected his eyes to light up the way they did when he tried your mapo tofu. you hadn't expected him to comment on the flavors of each banchan you made and for him to tell you why he liked that one in particular. you hadn't expected him to be in such awe at the flavors and textures in the onigiri. you hadn't expected his enthusiastic and animated reactions. you hadn't expected him to be so cute.

wait. cute?

from then on, you began bringing extra accidentally on purpose so that you could give some to him while tanaka and nishinoya whined in the back about how it wasn't fair that he got to eat the food made by a goddess. he caught on quickly and began accidentally on purpose forgetting to bring a quick snack to fuel him through practice. it was the kind of thing that the two of you never mentioned you were doing, but you both knew you were doing it.

before you knew it, you and suga were hanging out outside of school. you had a sleepover with him once when you stayed over at his house too late. you were constantly meeting up to hang out, study, or just be in each other's presence. he comforted you at your lowest moments, and you did the same for him. when you were on the verge of tears and all alone, you would facetime suga and cry on camera with him. when exams were stressing you out and you were neglecting your health, suga would pull you apart from your studies and into the biggest hug. when suga was feeling doubtful of his volleyball skill, you would reassure him that despite him not being a genius setter like that kageyama guy, he had things that made him special and set him apart. (no pun intended im sorry) when suga felt incompetent and unimportant, you reminded him that humans are living imperfections, and that he was only human, and doing great. (your food also helped the situation) suga had quickly become your best friend.

and it wasn't until one day when your friend asked, "so, shimizu-chan, what's up with you and that third-year on the volleyball team? are the two of you, like, secretly dating or something?" that it hit you.

you had the fattest crush on sugawara koshi.

at first, you didn't know what to do with this newfound information. with yourself.

you began overanalyzing every interaction the two of you shared.

every conversation, every touch, every text.

you began noticing every detail about him.

his pretty brown eyes.

his fluffy grayish hair.

his gentle smile.

his mole under his left eye.

the way his eyes lit up when he ate your food, or when you two were talking about something really interesting or funny.

the way he let out a soft, breathy laughs whenever he found something hilarious.

the way he studied so diligently and somehow wordlessly inspired you to do the same.

suga liked disney songs. when you two studied together, you would listen to disney tracks. it helped him focus, and the two of you would occasionally take healthy dance breaks whenever the best song ever came on.

suga danced and laughed when he got nervous or felt embarrassed. it was his way of shaking it off and coping.

suga liked ballroom dancing with you for no reason. he would wordlessly turn on an elegant ballroom type song and he would sweep you up with his hands above your hips and your arms around his neck. (he got consent the first time) it didn't matter before, but now that you had realized you had a crush on him, it made you feel slightly giddy.

suga taught you how to pepper (if you don't know what that is, it's when two people pass-set-hit to each other! im a competitive elite vb player if ur wondering :) also i started playing vb before i watched haikyuu. idc if u don't care bc im just saying that i liked vb before it became popular and it's a point of pride hehe) so that the two of you could pepper together.

suga was really happy when you told him you wanted to learn how to play volleyball. he taught you the basics with patience and kindness, and it made him so happy that you, a person that he held very dear to his heart, wanted to learn about the sport that he held very dear to his heart.

suga cried easily. he had a big heart that was broken easier than most people thought. he was good at putting up a strong front for others, but he was just as soft as asahi when it came to certain things on the inside.

you loved suga.

you couldn't deny it, or try to erase your feelings at this point, because you were very aware that you were in love with sugawara koshi.

and you know what? you were fine with that. you felt confident that he didn't like you back, which was sad at first, but you got used to it. you loved suga as a friend too. all you had to do was not take the crush too far, and make sure he felt comfortable. you were perfectly happy to stay the way the two of you were and remain status quo.

until you weren't.

it upset you that every time suga did something cute or attractive, you couldn't just kiss him and embrace him and tell him he was adorable.

it upset you seeing your friends happily in love while you had to suppress your feelings just so that you wouldn't lose him as a friend.

it upset you that you were feeling such emotions when you had promised yourself that you wouldn't take this crush too far.

it upset you. this whole situation upset you. however, you didn't have the courage to confess to him, so you would have to be content with your current situation.

until one day..

"what?" it took you a moment to process what suga had just said.

"i.. really like you, shimizu y/n."

you froze. you didn't know what to say. it hadn't felt out of the ordinary when suga texted you to come outside to that special spot behind the trees for lunch. you had expected the two of you to eat lunch as per usual, but that was not the case. instead, you were greeted by a red-eared sugawara koshi with a bouquet of flowers and chocolate covered strawberries confessing his love to you.

" you are beautiful, smart, kind, funny, sweet, and the best girl i have ever met. you're my best friend, and i'm so glad that you share shimi- uh, kiyoko..?'s blood, because i don't think i would have met you otherwise."

his face and ears were a bright tomato red.

"so, uh- if you don't feel the same way thats totally cool and i respect that, but i just felt like i nee-"

you enveloped suga in the biggest hug and gently whispered, "i like you too," in his ear.

you didn't know that it was physically possible for ears to get any more red, but they did. he teared up a little and hugged you back. tight. life felt crazy at that moment. he had finally won the girl of his dreams. he needed to hug her tight just in case this was a wonderful dream, and she would disappear if he let go. so he did. held you tight as tears fell from his face in bliss. he knew that this moment would be the start of a beautiful adventure.

and it was.

𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒, 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃

[bookskeepers]

a million dreams - sugawara kōshi

pairing: timeskip ! sugawara kōshi x nb ! afab ! reader

word count: 2,843

content warning: angst. angst. angst. (or at least an attempt to write angst idk if it's successful), established relationship, afab ! reader (because pregnancy sorry gang :( ), suga DIES, car accident (mentions), pregnancy, birth, omgomg, you have a daughter that looks exactly like suga too B)

a/n: why does my mind do this to me (i'm listening to the greatest showman while writing this) (Also i don't speak japanese so if the whole 'kanji' thing is wrong pls lmk)

also i feel like i accidentally veer it towards daichi x reader at some points but i promise it's only platonic between them

BEFORE

"We're gonna have two kids," he said in the dim lighting, his hands entwined with yours. "And a big house with a big backyard for a dog." Your head was tucked into his chest, and you could feel his soft breaths against your forehead. His arms were securely wrapped around you. The vibrations of his voice felt in time with your heartbeat, and you were content. Wholly, truly content in your boyfriend's arms, finding yourself drifting off to sleep as he rambled about his future plans that involved you.

As your eyelids grew heavy and finally closed, you heard him murmur: "We'll name the daughter Harumi and the son Koji, of course."

"Don't I get a say?" you asked then, a playful edge in your tone as you nuzzled further into his chest.

He chuckles into your hair, and you can feel his chest shake. "Of course you get a say," he replied when his laughter died down, "after all, you're going to be their parent too."

It was as if everything in Sugawara's life went according to plan. The next morning, the two of you had your marriage ceremony and wedding. The guest list was on the smaller side, with close friends and family being invited; you recognized familiar faces from Sugawara's time in his high school volley ball club. Your parents were present, along with other extended family members. The event itself went off without a hitch, and, after six years together, you could finally call Sugawara your husband.

After that, it felt like time flew. Before you knew it, you were moving out of your small, shared apartment into a much larger house. Although it wasn't huge by any means, it had enough space for Sugawara's plans: two kids and a dog. And soon, the dog joined the family.

Sugawara had insisted on naming the dog Cheeseball (despite the dog being a Bernese Mountain Dog mix), and Cheeseball was perhaps the second light of Sugawara's life. When he was home, most of his time was spent on the couch, you nuzzled into his side, and Cheeseball laying across both of your laps.

A year or two after Cheeseball joined the family, your first daughter was born. Despite giving Sugawara sass for his choices in names, the two of you ended up agreeing on Harumi, and it was spelt with the kanji for 'sunny'. She had been born at the crack of dawn, hence her name.

As Harumi grew up, it became more and more evident that she was a carbon copy of Sugawara, save for the beauty mark. Her hair was a silky silver and her eyes were a deep brown. She even had a personality similar to that of your husband's: bright, cheerful, and chaotic.

Your life with Sugawara was picture perfect. Of course, of course, it all came crashing down.

It had happened while you were pregnant with your second child. Right after the ultrasound that revealed the baby's sex, no less. You had wanted it to be a surprise, so the technician had told Sugawara. Once the two of you got home, you nestled into your usual spot on the couch and smiled at him sweetly as Cheeseball hopped up and rested his head on your lap.

"Kōshi," you began, your voice dripping with honey, "can you do me a big, big favor?"

He returns your sweet smile with a knowing look, giving you a soft snort before responding. "Yes, my love?"

"I'm really craving cake right now." As if to prove your point, your stomach chose that moment to grumble rather loudly. "And I was thinking, maybe you could get a blue cake or a pink cake for the baby?"

He ruffled your hair before walking towards the entrance of the house, the car keys jingling in his hand. "I'll be back shortly with your sex reveal cake," he called out. The sound of the door slamming shut followed soon after.

You took a quick look at your phone to check the time -- 11:29am -- before turning the TV on to watch something while you waited for Sugawara to return. One hand stroked Cheeseball's soft fur while the other manipulated the remote to try and find a movie or show that piqued your interest.

After settling on a TV show about forensic psychologists and criminal profiling, you found your attention rapt by the show. After watching several episodes, Cheeseball barked. The sound of a door opening indicated that someone was home, and your brow began to furrow after Harumi entered the living room.

"Where's Papa?" Harumi asked, setting her backpack down on the table. Her silvery hair was in two pigtails, a bright gleam in her eyes. "He said he'd tell me if I'm gonna be a big sister or a big brother!"

You chuckled lightly at your daughter, patting the spot on the couch next to you. Another quick glance at your phone revealed that the time was 2:37pm -- four hours since Sugawara had left for the grocery store to get a cake. Anxiety began crawling its way through your system, heading for your heart.

"I don't know where he is," you told your six year old. "I asked him to go to the store and get cake to celebrate finding out! And, you're going to be a sister regardless of what the baby is. We get to find out if you're getting a new sister or a new brother."

Harumi nodded, hanging on to your every word. "I knew that," she huffed. After a brief period of silence, she added a tentative: "Maybe you should call Papa?"

"Good idea," you replied, kissing the top of her head before unlocking your phone and making your way to your contacts. As your finger hovered over the call button next to Sugawara's name, the home phone began to ring.

The anxiety that had been making its way through your body suddenly sank its claws into your heart. No one ever called the home phone. The only reason Sugawara even insisted on one was because it fit his idea of the perfect house. Standing up on shaky legs, you made your way over to the TV stand, picking the phone up from its cradle. You didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" you asked quietly, cursing the slight tremor in your voice. Your heart began to beat rapidly in your chest, roaring in your ears -- you wouldn't be surprised if whoever was on the other end could hear it.

"Is this the Sugawara household?" the strannger questioned.

You recognized the voice almost instantly -- it was Daichi Sawamura, one of Sugawara's closest friends from high school. All it took was those five words for your world to start breaking apart.

"Hi, Daichi," you whispered. You glanced over your shoulder, meeting Harumi's big, brown eyes as she looked at you curiously. "Um, this is the Sugawara household, yes. If you needed something, you could've called my cell. Is everything alright?"

It took a tremendous amount of effort for you to speak in an even voice, to try and seem like you didn't know the next words that were going to come out of the phone.

You heard Daichi take a trembling breath from the other side of the phone, and you tried your best to steel your nerves for whatever he was going to say. Cheeseball chose that moment to get off the couch and pad over to you, as if the dog was aware of what was about to happen. Before Daichi even spoke, you found that tears had begun to stream down your face. "Sugawara -- no, Kōshi -- was in an accident." Another deep, shaky breath. "He didn't make it."

When you officially received the news, it had taken every ounce in you not to fall to your knees. Instead, you expressed the terror coursing through your veins by placing a hand underneath your small-but-noticeable baby bump. "Thank... thank you for telling me, Daichi." You placed the phone back in its cradle, not willing to wait for his response.

The hardest thing in your life was breaking the news to Harumi. How does one tell their child that their faither's never coming home again? How do you explain death in terms that a six year old will understand?

The sobs that tore from your daughter's throat when you told her moments later broke your heart even more. Beyond the pain in your chest, you felt numb, as if what was happening was happening to someone else, as if someone else's husband died on the way back from the grocery store with a blue cake in the passenger seat, as if it were a scene in a movie that you were watching.

You had slept in your once-shared bed that night, longing for the feeling of Sugawara's weight making the mattress dip beside you. You tossed and turned, and sleep didn't come until Harumi had made her way into your room. "Mommy, I can't sleep."

You sat up straight in the bed, holding your arms open for her. "Come here, then," you whispered into the dark room, watching her vague form clamber onto the bed before nuzzling into your chest.

You finally fell asleep with your daughter in your arms.

PRESENT

After that first night without him, you had gone through the motions. Harumi had insisted on going to school, saying something about not wanting to break her routine and "get stuck in the sad." For a six year old, she was wise.

You had covered the shrine in your house with white paper and closed its doors. You had set up a small table next to Sugawara's side of the bed, adorning it with his favorite flowers and jasmine-scented incense. You had called a temple, both grateful for and disgusted by the lack of emotion in your voice when you scheduled your husband's funeral service.

You're now standing next to his coffin, watching as people who knew your husband mill about the temple room. Harumi's by your side, her hand tightly gripping yours. You spot the familiar orange of Hinata's hair, the broad frame of Tsukishima, the angular jaw of Daichi. Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest as you notice the three of them approaching you.

You find yourself wondering, in that moment, what it must've been like for Daichi -- your husband's closest friend -- to not only find Sugawara in the car, but to have to report it to you. You watch as his features mold into a soft, sad smile. Tsukishima and Hinata have similar expressions on their faces.

The three of them each hand you one of many black envelopes you've already received, and you hand them to Harumi. You watch as she scampers off to place them with the rest, that silky silver hair of hers flowing freely behind her.

"How's she handling it?" Daichi finally asks, breaking the silence. Hinata and Tsukishima seem to take this as a sign, offering you their condolences before retreating back into the crowd. Your eyes don't miss the approaching form of your husband's other close friend, Asahi Azumane.

"She didn't want to stop going to school," you reply after a few moments. "She said it was because she didn't want to get stuck in her sadness."

"Wise kid," Asahi comments as he finally reaches the two of you. "May he rest in peace." He tilts his head towards Sugawara's coffin before nodding at you.

You nod in return, engaging in mindless conversation with the other two. You listen as they reminisce over their shared experiences in their high school volleyball club and watching their underclassmen become world-famous pros. You listen as their words flow in one ear and go right out the other. Before long, the wake begins in earnest. The priest goes to the front of the room and begins reciting a sutra, and you and Harumi place incense in the urn a total of three times.

The rest of the day passes in a blur.

That night, you're in your much-too-big bed, staring at the ceiling. Sleep stays a fair distance away from you until Harumi reappears in your doorway, around the same night she's done it every time. She nestles into the comfort of your arms, and you can feel the soft rise and fall associated with her breaths.

"Mommy," she says softly in the dark. "I miss Papa."

As if to make up for all the emotions you hadn't felt since his passing, the grief and the guilt come crashing down. You're suddenly too overwhelmed to speak, instead opting to hold your daughter tighter. She returns your squeeze with one of her own, being mindful of the bump of your stomach.

"Do you think my new brother will look like him?"

It takes you some time to trust your voice to speak. "I hope so," you manage to whisper. Harumi doesn't respond, and you can tell that she's fallen asleep.

At the end of the funeral on the following day, you watch as Sugawara's friends place a variety of flowers around his head in the coffin. You watch as Asahi lifts your daughter up with ease so she can add some flowers of her own. Your eyes follow their movements as they close the coffin and nail the lid shut with a stone.

You're grateful for the presence of Sugawara's family at the cremation afterwards, thankful for the steady hands of his parents as they assist you in picking the bones out from the ashes. You're thankful for Asahi and Daichi as well, since they've taken it upon themselves to babysit Harumi while you're preoccupied with this.

You, along with Sugawara's parents, walk towards the temple's lower rooms with the urn holding his remains in your arms. You're the one who places the urn in the small box. A small screen next to the locker-esque grave turns on, and your husband's face smiles at you brightly.

A sob escapes your throat, and tears begin to stream down your face. Sugawara's mother echoes the sentiment as the photo of her son shines brightly in the otherwise dim room. You take shaky, gasping breaths as the photo stares at you before you turn on your heel and leave.

AFTER

It's been several months since his passing. Your baby bump has only grown in size, and you're met with ferocious kicks at every time of day.

During the day, Harumi goes to school as normal. At night, she no longer tries to sleep in her own bed before coming to yours, instead opting to just start the night off in your bed. You find that sleep overtakes you with more ease when your arms are wrapped around your daughter.

It's not long before the sharp, stabbing pains of labor overwhelm you one day while you're at home. Daichi had forced himself to be on your phone's speed dial ever since you told him about the baby boy's kicking, and he is who you call when the time between contractions dwindles from hours to minutes, when the contractions themselves start lasting longer and longer. He's at your door quickly, ushering you into his police car and using the sirens to clear traffic. In between the bursts of pain, you find yourself wondering if it's legal.

When the two of you reach the hospital, you tell him to go get your daughter from the school before you're whisked away by the nurses. As your labor progresses and the baby's closer to being born, you hear Harumi's excited voice from the hallway. It's at this point that the door is closed so you can focus on your task at hand.

Within several hours, your new son is born. The sound of his cries echo throughout the small hospital room, and you watch as the nurses clean him up and wrap him in a soft blue blanket. They hand him to you before one opens the door and beckons for those who are waiting to come in.

Sugawara's parents enter along with yours after Harumi dashes in. She's at your bedside in seconds, jumping on the balls of her feet out of excitement. Your breath catches in your throat as the light shines on her silvery hair, your heart stinging at just how much she looks like Sugawara.

"Mommy, mommy, what's his name? Have you given him a name yet? Can we name him... can we name him Cheeseball?"

Your own mother laughs in response to that as your father picks Harumi up off the ground. "You can't name him Cheeseball," he says, "that's the name of your dog!"

Their conversation fades out of your focus as you gaze down at the little bundle in your arms. The faint hairs lining his forehead are the same shade as your own. You softly rub his nose with your finger, and you watch as his grubby arms escape the blanket and grab at your digit. His name comes to you with ease.

"Hi, Koji," you whisper.

[sugawarassoccerlover]

Suga the type of guy to lean over and whisper to you “that’s actually what I was made for” when the line “don’t tell my boyfriend that’s not what he’s made for” plays during What Was I Made For in the Barbie movie

[guitarstringed-scars]

colored pencils-koushi sugawara

masterlist

prologue:

you groan, rubbing your eyes as you sit in front of your computer, reading over the email exchange from the last couple days.

-

Hello Y/N L/N,

I’m writing to inform you that in an odd mix up, we’ve been forced to partner you two in one classroom for your student teaching time. Due to the overwhelming amount of education students and the minuscule amount of teachers in need of student teachers, there was no way around this problem. I hope you two will find a way to balance the workload, and good luck!

-

Hi,

Are you absolutely 100% sure theres no way to get a switch?

-Y/N L/N

-

Yes,

I am 100% sure. Sorry!

-

great, you think. just great! stuck student teaching with a stranger!

[lele-11]

Daichi: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Sugawara: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!