#however. it's so funny how this happened the literal day after i finally wrote down all my character stuff

[cellgatinbo]

welp o7

had a good run of no deaths up to this point. invincible, unkillable jay, got her shit rocked and died so so badly <3

and he's totally, definitely taking it well :D

[venusacrossthestars]

I <3 Australians

pairing- Oscar Piastri x fem!reader

summary: You had an obsession with Australians, your boyfriend and love for the Australian band 5 Seconds of Summer proved as much. So what better way to show your girlfriend you love her than take her to see her other fave Australians?

wc- 2.4k

a/n- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOML OSCAR PIASTRI this is the self-indulgent fic I have been talking about. I am a 5SOS stan and idc if this flops or not because I truly only wrote this for me. also this isn't edited bc I could not be bothered to do so

f1 masterlist

You had a thing for Australians, your boyfriend was proof of that. But even before you met Oscar, you had been a fan of the Australian band- 5 Seconds of Summer. While other girls were in their One Direction phase, you were busy fawning over the 4 Australians. You were one of lucky few that were able to see both when 5SOS opened for One Direction. You were a stan, all of your family and friends knew it. But most importantly Oscar knew it as well. 

He was familiar with the band, they were after all from the same country. He became even more familiar with them after the two of you got to together. Anytime he picked you up and graced you with the aux cord, chances were that 5 Seconds of Summer was blasting through the speakers. Oscar didn’t mind, the music was half bad either, not that he would ever say anything negative about it to you. 

So when he saw that tickets were on sale for there newest tour and that one of the UK dates just happened to line up with a non-race weekend, he was quick to purchase tickets. The hardest part of this whole ordeal was keeping it quiet from you. Which is exactly why Oscar only lasted 24 hours before spilling the beans. 

Today was Oscar and yours designated ‘lazy day’, no responsibilities, no worries, a day filled with absolutely nothing. Oscar had gone into your shared office about 20 minutes ago, what he was doing, you had no clue and frankly you were too busy watching Bones to really care. 

You watch as Oscar appears from his office, hands behind his back hiding something from your view, “I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes.” 

You quirk an eyebrow at Oscar’s sudden exclamation. “Should I be scared?” You ask, as you sit up on the couch.

“No. Just close your eyes.” 

You do as he ask, trusting him fully. You feel him place something in your lap, however, it was too light to for you to fully make out what it was. 

“Ok, you can open them.” 

As you open your eyes you look down at your lap. You weren’t sure what to expect but it surely wasn’t a folded piece of paper. “A piece of paper?” 

Oscar rolls his eyes at your comment, “Look what’s written on it.” 

You unfold the paper and it takes a few seconds for to comprehend what is on it. You look at Oscar then back down at the paper, back to Oscar, back to the piece of paper and finally back to Oscar. “You didn’t,” is all you can say. 

“I did.” 

“Oscar this isn’t funny. I swear to God if you are joking  you are sleeping on this couch.” On that little folded piece of paper is written confirmation for 2 VIP pit tickets for the 5 Seconds of Summer Show. 

“Surprise!” Oscar shouts, face scrunched up from smiling so hard. 

You launch yourself from the couch and into his awaiting arms. You pepper his face with kisses. “Thank you- Thank you-Thank you. You are literally the best boyfriend ever.” 

“You don’t need to thank me baby. I know how much you love them.” 

Your smile widens into a grin. You reach up to pinch his cheeks, “Don’t worry you’ll always be my favorite Australian.” 

“I better be.” 

The weeks leading up to the concert were difficult for you. You were torn in between wanting to know the setlist and not. You had done your best to stay in the dark with majority of the songs you did however know one thing they were going to be doing. 

“Osc, they throw a giant inflatable dice into the crowd and whatever song it lands on when it’s back up on stage is the surprise song they play!” 

Oscar shoots you a confused look. The two of you were on your way to the venue and you couldn’t stop talking off Oscar’s poor ear about the concert. You tired to reel in your excitement and everytime you apologized for being so excited, Oscar, like the good boyfriend he is, would tell you not to worry and that he loved seeing you so excited. 

“And,” you begin again, “one of my favorite songs is on the dice!” 

“Which one?” 

“English Love Affair!” 

Oscar nods, “Isn’t that the one about Harry Styles’ sister?” 

“Yes! I can’t believe you remembered.” 

“See I know a thing or two.” 

“So proud of you baby,” you lean over and press a kiss to his cheek. 

You managed to convince Oscar to dress the part of 2014 grunge 5SOS, not that it was a challenge considering majority of pants this man owned were skinny jeans. You had your own get-up, black skinny jeans (that you had to dig out for your side of the closet), black converse, a white baby tee with a graphic that read ‘I <3 Australians’ and a red flannel tied around your waist. Adorning your wrist were the multiple friendship bracelets you had made. 

You could only be described as Wattpad Y/N. When Oscar had seen your shirt he had raised a questioning brow and had asked “I hope that shirt only means me.” 

After going through security you and Oscar were officially in the venue. Oscar was in search of something to eat and you were on the hunt for the merch stand. 

“What do you want to eat?” Oscar asks you as you stand in concession line. 

“Hmmm,” you take a peek at the menu, “I’ll have a pretzel.” 

Oscar, ever the gentleman, pay for both of your snacks and drinks. You barely have your food in hand before you are dragging Oscar to the merch stand. 

The line was long enough that the two of you could eat and silently debate with yourself what you wanted to get. 

Oscar leans his head on your shoulder, “You have to get the papaya hoodie.” 

You roll your eyes, “You’re so pretentious, it’s literally orange.” 

“Still you look good in orange.” 

“I better considering I wear it nearly every weekend.” 

While in line you chat with a few other fans, exchanging bracelets, predictions and hopes of what the dice song will be. You are interrupted by the feeling of eyes on you and Oscar, you glance over your shoulder to see a group of girls huddled in a circle. One of them is pointing to Oscar and yourself. 

You eventually get your merch, Oscar insisting on getting the ‘papaya’ hoodie for you. As the two of you were walking to the wristband station, you one of the girls from the group from earlier approaching. 

“Excuse me,” one of them asks timidly, “you’re Oscar Piastri, right?” 

Oscar nods his head, “That’s me.” 

“Okay, that’s what my friend thought,” she points over to where her other friends are standing, all now much more interested in their shoes, “I’m really sorry to interrupt your date but I wanted to ask if it’s okay if we could take a picture with you.” 

Oscar looks at you and you nod your head. He knows he doesn’t need permission, but today was supposed to be a day for the two you. “Sure, we can take some pictures.” 

After your run in with Oscar’s fans the rest of night moves in a blur and before you know it the lights dim and the crowd starts to grow crazier, yourself included. 

You grab Oscars arm, “It’s starting oh my god, oh my god.” 

Oscar rubs your hair, “Are you excited?” 

“Is the sky blue?” 

The overtune starts and you can see Ashton, Micheal, Luke, and Calum take their places on stage. The familiar instrumental beginning of ‘Bad Omens’ fills your ears and you can hardly contain your scream. 

Oscar watches in adoration as you sing along, knowing every word. He can’t help but join in. You might’ve not known the setlist, but Oscar did. He added it to his Spotify the night he bough tickets and listened to it when he could. He wanted to make sure that he could sing along with you. 

The first 3 songs pass in a blur- Bad Omens, 2011, Caramel- and not knowing the setlist proved to be the right choice on your part because when Blender starts you nearly make Oscar deaf with your scream. 

“I’d die for you, I’d die for you, I’d die for you,” you sing looking Oscar directly in the eye. He only shakes his head at you antics. You bop and dance around to the chorus, grabbing Oscar to join in on your chaos and by the second verse he is fully dancing along with you. 

Everyone is bumping into each other having a blast, personal space be damned. You were to high on life to care about the repercussion that you would be facing tomorrow-bruised feet and a sore throat. 

More songs play and the boys interact with fans, your screaming and hollering along with them. Oscar’s face lights up at the beginning of ‘She’s Kinda Hot’ and he turns to you with a grin on his face, “I know this one!” 

“My girlfriends bitchin’ cause I always sleep in. She’s always screaming when she’s callin’ her friend. She’s kinda hot though!” Oscar sings along, wiggling his eyebrows at you when he sings the last line. 

Rolling your eyes you give him a light shove away from you. You take a moment to admire Oscar, thankfully that you have a loving boyfriend that would take you to see your other favorite Australians. 

The mood takes a 180 when the chords of ‘Amnesia’ fill the venue. You can’t help the tears that line your eyes and the shakiness of your voice when you sing along. Oscar looks at you, concern etched on his face, you wave him off. It was just a sad song, that’s all. 

The lights dim and on the big screen you see Ashton, Luke, Micheal and Calum in there suit get up. You know what time it was- Dice time. They explain the rules, if the dice isn’t back on stage within a minute then they’ll be picking the song instead. 

Luke hurls the dice into the crowd and the timer begins. Hands are flying up as the dice moves across the pit, you and Oscar watch and before you know it the dice is coming towards the two of you. You stand on your tippy toes to help Oscar, and the other around you, push it back towards the stage. 

“That was strangely horrifying,” Oscar tells you. 

“Not something I would want to see coming towards me again.” 

The dice lands on stage and you have both your fingers crossed, praying that it’s English Love Affair. You look at the screen to see the graphic stop on English Love Affair, and the noise that escapes you is hardly human. All Oscar can do it laugh at your reaction. 

Just like with the rest of the songs, you sing along, there is however a little more passion when you sing along to this one. “The picture burning in my brain, kissing in the rain. No, I can't forget my English love affair.” 

Oscar wraps his arms around your middle and rest his head on your shoulder, he still couldn’t believe that this song was about Harry Styles’ sister. Oscar may not admit it but every time you told him about any celebrity tea, he always listened. And granted this was old news, but it was new to him the first time he heard this song. 

You were panting at the end of the song. “Having fun babe?” You ask Oscar, hoping that your little performance didn’t scare him off. 

“I am. I thought you had some performances in the car, but those are nothing compared to what I just watched.” 

Before you know it, ‘She Looks So Perfect’ is playing, signaling that the end of the concert is near. You know that the post concert depression would be hitting extra hard the next morning. As the final chord plays and the boys bow off stage you turn to Oscar, asking him if he is ready to go. 

“There are two more songs left, for the encore.” He tells you, still planted in his spot. 

You shoot him a look, “How do you know that?” 

You watch as Oscar’s cheeks grow red, “I might’ve learned the setlist so I could sing along with you. And trust me, you don’t want to miss these ones.” 

You knew that they would probably come back out to play ‘Youngblood’ it was their most popular song, however you weren’t sure why Oscar was so insistent that you wanted to hear the other one. 

So when they came back on stage and the familiar ‘Oh-whoa’s’ graced your ears you nearly burst into tear. You weren’t expecting to hear ‘Outer Space’ live, ever. You had made peace with this fact so you really couldn’t help it when tears started streaming down your face. 

Oscar knew of your history with the Sounds Good Feels Good album, that was an album that you related to so closely, he also knew how much Outer Space/Carry on meant to you. 

Oscars hand, now wrapped around your shoulders, brought you closer into his chest as you sang along, softer than you had been singing the entire night, “ I will wait for you, to love me again… I guess I was running, from something. I was running back to you.” 

Oscar leans his head in closer and presses a soft kiss into your cheek. Oscar reaches into his back pocket and hands you his phone, flashlight already on, so you could join in with everyone else. 

“The darkest night never felt so bright with you by my side,” Oscar sings along. And while you couldn’t see him, you knew that he was looking at you with nothing but love his eyes. 

The two of you sway in each others embrace, singing along to the ending- 

Nothing like the rain, nothing like the rain

When you're in outer space, when you're in outer space

Nothing like the rain,  nothing like the rain 

When you're in outer space , when you're in outer space 

Love me like you did, love me like you did

I'll give you anything, I'll give you anything 

Love me like you did, love me like you did

I'll give you anything, I'll give you anything

You turn in Oscars arms, you bring your hands up to cup his face and pull him in for a sweet kiss. It wasn’t the most romantic kiss the two of you have shares, you were both sweaty, tired, you definitely had tears running down your face, and there was probably some snot in the mix. It might’ve not been the most romantic, but it was something so personal and that’s all that you needed.

a/n: also as I said this was extremely self-indulgent and ik you can def tell. but in all seriousness 5SOS is my favorite band and their album- Sounds Good Feels Good is the album to listen to if you need to get some feels out. I cry every time I listen to Outer Space/Carry on.

I was lucky enough to see them last year at the '5 Seconds of Summer Show' and hearing Outer Space live was an out of body experience. If you ever need some song recommendations for a certain mood, they have a song for nearly everything.

taglist- crossed out names mean I couldn't tag you

@arieslost @customsbyjcg-blog @gr1mes-cc @styl1shl1v @landoscardotcom @poppyflower-22 @blancastans @katiezdiarysblog @mrsstylez @jamieeboulos @tpwkstiles @peanutaj @hiireadstuff @hwalllllllelujah @purple9950 @chaoticpenguindetective @crazymofo-96 @harriesnuggets @inlovewithsierrasix @luckyladycreator2 @luanasrta @inejghafawifesblog @ineedmoremilkk @swiftpiastri@virgo-wonder @faith-f1 @lily1sposts @animetiddies-21 @melissaw1202 @hauntedphotographybookstaco @livelovesports @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @slaygirlbossworld @pastryboyyy @pookiesnukoms @minkyungseokie @f1enthusiastsstuff @mirrorballpulisic @notturlover @notso-sweetcaroline @verspia @mk-wrote @whentheautumnleavesfall @trywhisperingtotheocean @sadbut-true0 @akiraquote @hockeylover4ever @imaginedworldsstuff @sassyangel16 @motkanykodas @foulsongfest @bingewatche @lonely92world @flonaschicken @cvnts3rver @cayls33 @grungy-blue-hipster @kikinuke2 @slupin333

[koolades-world]

Hellooo I like your stuff! :)

Can I pls request something where MC takes Mammon’s early game tsundere shit too seriously? Like, they always take things literally so when he says he doesn’t like or care about them, he’s annoyed to have to babysit them, he doesn’t want this stupid human, etc etc, they believe him?

But they thought he was warming up to them, they thought they were friends (and they’d started to really love their first friend!), so they get really sad about it. He’s like “I DONT care about the human!” And MC’s like, “oh… :’( okay….” and like, either Mammon has to fix it, or Beel and/or Levi (or any of the others! All of the others? Whatever you like) (after making their pacts) have to step in and help. Comfort the human and guilt Mam into communicating however they’d go about that.

Sorry if this is too specific! No pressure of course, do whatever you want with this, have fun :)

Thank you :))

🫐

hi! yes of course :)

today I actually based my outfit around his casual outfit since I have a jacket kinda like his. got so many compliments <3 wore knee high brown boots, a jean mini skirt, a cropped black cami, my mammon jacket, and my diamond studs. wanted to wear some gold hoops but my ears were not having it. dressing up and outfit planning are some of my favorite things to do

if you see that i wrote in second person instead of third in a few spots, please ignore that! i kept catching myself swapping tenses and I tried to find all of them but if i missed them i'm sorry haha

please enjoy, blueberry anon!!

Heart to Heart

Life in the Devildom wasn't easy, but Mc was slowly getting used to it. Sure, it would never be not chaotic to walk around and classes in a school full of demons, but maybe one day, they might be able to consider it normal.

They had begun to make friends with the other demons in their class, gotten involved with a few clubs that they really enjoyed, and even finally started to grasp the concept of the subjects they were attending class for. But, there was one thing they just couldn't even see themselves growing used to.

The first demon they had really thought they'd started to get to know really seemed to dislike being around them. No matter what they did, Mammon always seemed annoyed with them, no matter how sweet they tried to be. They felt most comfortable turning to him since they'd never seen him angry, and seemed the least violent out of their new housemates, especially with Devildom things they just didn't understand. He was by far the most approachable.

They could never understand his seeming hostility despite the fact that they hadn't done anything to him. His almost condescending nature bugged them a little. They didn't take it personally at first, since he was just supposed to be his tour guide and someone to go to if they needed it. He wasn't obligated to them in any way.

But they couldn't help but notice how mutually, they had wormed their way into each others hearts. At some point, it had become routine for him to invite himself into their room after he had finished getting ready for the night to watch something on TV while they attempted to do homework. Every time, they would eventually give up in favor of watching with him since he always had something funny to add. At lunch, despite having his own friends, he would plop down beside them with a snack for you, with some excuse about needing the human to stay healthy. Even if they were talking with one of their friends, he would wiggle between the two of them and stay there, to the point where their friends knew to leave him a spot since he was always fashionably late. At dinner, he always insisted they sit next to him, where'd he'd always whisper to them about his brothers and always inevitable get caught by the one he was talking about. It never failed to make them giggle, and also almost get in trouble.

Every time they had a moment like one of these, he would pretend like it hadn't even happened. It was like nothing between the two of them mattered to him. His comments always read like he was almost annoyed to have to be around them, and that he disliked it. It hurt, but they couldn't say they weren't used to it. After all, they would be gone after a year, so it wouldn't matter anyways, right?

One day in particular, nothing had gone correctly. Mammon had been out the previous night and let Mc know very last minute, despite it being a school night. Their room had felt empty. In hopes he would be back soon, they left his spot open, but he never showed up. They had known that, but it still felt strange. They had been able to get so much work done, but they went to bed feeling something they didn't quite understand.

The next morning, it had felt like he was going out of his way to avoid them. They had seen him once, and perhaps he hadn't seen them, but they didn't even get so much as a smile. He was absent at breakfast, like usual. It also wasn't his turn to walk them to school, so they didn't get to talk to him then either. Later that day, during lunch, he also never showed up. It was odd, but the two of them had never made the promise to meet, so it wasn't like he had some obligation. Their friends gave them a knowing look, one filled with concern, but they told them nothing was wrong. Or so they hoped.

They finally saw him that evening at dinner, but he just wasn't himself. He made no effort to speak to them. When they did try, he was harsher than usual, and kept making comments about them being a stupid human who didn't know any better. It was all in character for him, but with the treatment they had received that day, it hit closer to home than they thought it would. Once the meal was mostly over, and a few of his brothers had filed out of the room, Mc leant over to him to quietly ask if something was wrong. The response they got was much more explosive than they thought they would receive.

"Mammon, how have you been today? I haven't seen you much, and wondered if something was wrong." They stood next to Mammon, collecting all the spare dishes to be washed.

"That's none of yer business, human." He spat out his words like venom at them. His expression after the fact seemed like he'd almost regretted what he'd said, but made no move to take it back.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought... Forget I asked." They took a step back, not expecting his words to hit them like that. They decided to take the dishes they were holding to the kitchen. Maybe he would be gone when they returned for more.

"Mammon, that was very rude." Lucifer, who was doing the same as Mc since they had dish duty together that night, gave Mammon a death glare. "Apologize this instant." When Mammon looked away, Lucifer continued. "Well?" Lucifer searched Mammon's face.

"What's your problem?" Asmo spoke up, looking perturbed by the way he had treated yet another one of his claims to fame. Mc did so well on Devilgram, so the two of them had gotten somewhat close, but not as close as they had with Mammon.

"I don't care about that damn human. When did I say that I did? They're just another responsibility." Mammon spoke as confidently as he usually did, but the look on his face gave it all away.

Mc, who had been hanging in the hall just outside the dining room door since they'd dropped a fork, heard his words. It stung them. They'd heard him say that before, but this time it felt as if he meant it if he hadn't before. With a sigh, they hurried off to the kitchen, closing the door behind them. The three brothers left in the room turned at the sudden noise.

Mammon realized what he'd done, and stood there, stewing in the consequences of his actions. Lucifer and Asmo said something to him before leaving, but he didn't really hear it. He wished he could take it all back, and to tell Mc he didn't mean it. But, he wasn't sure how, or if their relationship was even salvageable.

Mc was in the kitchen, scrubbing a plate when they heard Lucifer enter. They could tell it was him thanks to the sound of his shoes on the tile. They scooted over to make room for him at the sink. "I'm sorry about Mammon." Lucifer broke the silence.

"It's fine. He's right. I am just another task for him to juggle." They didn't look up from the running water.

"I assigned him to look after you. If anything, I can care for you." He placed the dishes in the sink.

"But, he's right, is he not? I'm just a human. I've got no clue what I'm doing here so someone has to look after me. I'm not in this family, so it's not like taking care of me was something he signed up for." They moved clean dishes out of the sink and onto the drying rack. Lucifer remained silent for a moment.

"It's an honor having you here, I hope you realize. This is a momentous occasion. Diavolo entrusted us with the duty of caring for one of the only two human exchange students, in a program that's unique." It seemed like Lucifer was struggling to find the right words to say. This was the nicest they had even seen him be.

"I appreciate it. Thank you. But, what am I to do? A human trapped in a place where humans aren't meant to go. I can't help but feel like a task to be completed." Mc paused. "I'm sorry. That was probably too much." They went silent again.

"You can go up to bed early if you wish. I'll finish these." Lucifer finally said. Without making eye contact, they got down off the stool they had been standing on to reach the top of the drying rack, and left with a small thank you. Mammon wandered in moments after they left, finally seeming to have collected himself.

"Mammon. I hope you're proud of yourself. After that spectacle, I might just have to make Beel their new guardian." Mammon froze at Lucifer's words.

"No! Ya don't gotta do that." He couldn't bring himself to continue himself.

"Really? Because with the way you treated Mc, I would not blame them if they never wanted to speak to you again." Lucifer turned around to look Mammon right in the eyes. He knew that look well. He was disappointed with him.

"I'll just go apologize. No biggie, right?" He tried to act as if nothing was wrong despite the turmoil he'd just caused.

"I have no words." Lucifer turned back to the dishes, ignoring Mammon's attempts to speak to him anymore. Mammon was left with his thoughts again, and all the regret he had. He wasn't sure how to go about with telling them he didn't mean what he'd said, and that was just because he really liked them. After some pondering, he realized nobody but himself was going to fill this hole he'd created, and that it was his job to do it if he wanted to repair their relationship.

Mc had been in their room, reading through some notes from earlier that day, when their door slammed open. Only one demon entered like that. "Mammon." They nodded without looking up.

"Mc. I- Do ya have a moment?" They looked up to meet his gaze. All the animosity had faded and was replaced with a warmness they'd never seen before.

"Yes." They set their pen down, and waited for him to speak.

"I'm sorry about what I said. I'm sorry fer ignorin' ya today. I'm sorry fer treatin' ya like garbage. You don't deserve that." Tears began to well up in his eyes, but he continued. "I have trouble tellin' ya this, but I think yer really great. If yer willin' to talk to me again, I promise I won't do all that anymore." The tears began to slip down his cheeks.

"Oh, Mammon, please don't cry." Mc got up to hug him and close the door behind him. He tightly gripped them back, as if they might leave him. Once he'd calmed down a little, Mc spoke again.

"I won't lie, what you said did hurt, but thank you for saying you're sorry. I really love spending time with you. You make me feel welcome here. I don't fully understand you, but I hope that you'll help me understand you." Mc patted Mammon's back.

"Can I stay over in yer room tonight? Let me start there and make it up to ya fer yesterday. Let's watch yer favorite human movie." His eyes are still red, but the smile is back on his face. It really suited him.

"Yes, of course." That night, the both of them fell asleep in Mc's bed together, but not before Mammon thought how lucky he was to have them, despite himself.

[summercreolefanfictioner]

the scent wafts in, her name making him beg on his knees chapter 3

pairing: dabi / todoroki touya x fem!oc / reader (MODERN AU)

WARNING: mentions of sex, violence, slight swearing

chapter summary: Touya tells his therapist the moment he decided he should date her for real.

a/n: It was an emotional roller coaster as I wrote this chapter. I was listening lately to Chappell Roan's Casual and it literally made me cry

masterlist

Fuyumi was Touya's next visitor, and he was silently gobbling up her homemade soba, noting how she got more adept in cooking than before. Nah, he just was not home for 7 years. As if he would know if she improved or not. Only Natsuo and Shouto could tell the truth.

While he was busy eating, Fuyumi kept narrating random stories of Natsuo finally proposing to his girlfriend. However, he has decided to remove himself from the family register, opting to adapt his future wife's family name to theirs. As much as Fuyumi wanted to scold him, she knew this would put Natsuo at ease. He didn't want to be associated with the sins of their family, hence his conclusion after Touya's return. She also added that she already left her teaching job for something similar that pays more. Plus, there had been a ruckus lately that media outlets got wind of Touya's return. To this day, they are still wanting confirmation if Enji will finally step down as the CEO and appoint Touya as his successor.

"Dad made sure no one would know you're here. He made a public announcement that you were visiting a few relatives as part of your reunion with them," she assured him, then remembered something. "Oh, speaking of, Shouto visited you last time, right? He didn't give you a hard time?"

Touya slurped his noodles, gulped the last bite, and looked at her straight. "He brought me candy."

Fuyumi clapped her hands in glee, though a bit awkward. She has never been around Touya ever since he told her about how they were all failures. "H-He did, huh? Did you like them?"

Touya frowned. He's still not on good terms with Shouto yet, but he's not mad at him either. He ate the candies as proof of that. "I don't like the beer ones. They taste too sugary and sour."

"Okay. I'll take note of that."

Time ticked by, and the agony constricted in his throat. They used to be in sync, almost in tune with each other's minds. It was his fault and his immature ways of belittling her even though he was generally weak against her and their mother. There was no way he was hurt whenever he hurt his siblings, especially her. Fuyumi was his precious sister, and she stood up as their makeshift mother when all things went south even when she didn't have to.

"Touya-nii, I heard what you did in high school," she started hesitantly, "you know... the reason you got suspended before you ran away."

Touya tensed at that, holding his breath in shock. He wanted to bury that memory in secret. She didn't want her to know what he did before he decided to pack up jack shit and run away from all this. After a few seconds, he heard her giggling and said to him:

"Actually, I kicked him on the shin when I saw him." Then she glared and hissed in a whisper, "Don't tell the others, okay? I skipped a class just so I could run on him in the hallway back then."

There was silence, and then Touya chuckled, light humor coming from his lips before it turned into full-on laughter, embarrassing Fuyumi who was already flustered as it is.

"W-Wha—Touya-nii! Why are you laughing?! It's not funny!" she chided, pouting like she did when he successfully laid out his pranks on her.

He sighed in contentment, the laughter dying as he placed his chin on one hand and smirked.

"You really are my sister, after all," he snickered, sending him a mischievous grin as she huffed in annoyance. "So what happened? Was he able to walk afterward?"

Fuyumi only shrugged, seeming not to care about how this jerk was doing or if he was even alive up until now. "I don't know. I just heard people say he skipped the whole day because he couldn't walk back to class."

Touya whistled. "Damn. Now I suddenly feel bad for all his unborn children."

"Shut up, you!"

And they talked some more about mundane things, how Touya was coping with everything happening in the facility, even secretly told her he carried an mp3 player just so he could listen to his girlfriend's voice. "I bet it's all her moaning your name or something perverted." "Fuyumi-chan, I am not that perverted." "Whatever~" He also found out about their mother taking up painting, so Enji bought this one big studio so she could paint and relax; and also the fact that Shouto was dating someone from his class, someone named Momo or something. He has yet to introduce her formally to the family, though.

"How about your girlfriend, Touya-nii?" Fuyumi suggested. "When can we meet her?"

"When the time is right," he replied dryly, but honestly, he didn't know. Touya left her after that night, and he knew his girlfriend was an understanding woman, and she had lots of patience. He just hoped she would still be there since he wasn't writing her anything, even to the point of not disclosing his main residence and the facility he was in.

"By the way, is there anything else you need before I go?" Fuyumi asked.

"Make me soba again," he requested with a soft smile. "I missed this."

"Okay."

"And also..." Touya frowned, looking away in embarrassment. "Ask Shouto to bring more of those cigarette candies. Don't tell him I like them, though."

Fuyumi giggled at his silly behavior. Some things never really change. "Of course. Anything else."

"Fuyumi-chan."

"Hm?"

Touya sighed, looking at her straight in the eye, wanting to convey his sincerity. He'd been holding it since he left them years ago.

"I'm sorry about what I said before... about us being failed creations. You're perfect, Fuyumi-chan, just the way you are."

Fuyumi held her breath, her hands on her chest as she took in his words. Touya apologized to her. He apologized... after seven years. She knew he didn't have to because all she understood at the time was him being frustrated and mad at their father for neglecting them, and that he was just venting out his feelings on her. That's why Fuyumi held it in. All the responsibility of holding the family together was pushed onto her shoulders, especially when Touya left. She knew their family was broken beyond repair, and yet he held her own feat, ensuring she would get them all to eat dinner together or spend time just a bit.

And now... now it felt like Fuyumi could finally be at ease and care about herself more.

"Jeez, you didn't have to," she berated him, wiping a few tears rolling down her cheeks. "I already forgave you a long time ago, Touya-nii."

Touya softened at that, finally coming to terms with her. Afterwards, he handed her a slip of paper, and it contained a list of items.

"Burn a hole in Father's credit card with those things and buy yourself your favorite things. I need them."

Fuyumi scanned the items, noting how Touya was very specific with the brand name of the soap he wanted as well as the perfume. It was odd, considering how her brother had certain favorites when it came to the hygiene department. Nonetheless, if he wanted it, then he would have it.

"Got it. I'll bring them here next time."

------

"Did you like her when you first met her?" the therapist asked. "Like, as in you had a crush or was attracted."

Touya contemplated the perfect answer since he had a lot on his mind when he first met her. He could even go on and on about "Oh, yeah, sure. She was pretty, and I think she knows she's pretty, but she's not the 'all heads will turn over' pretty. She was just alright. And when I first saw her, she was always dressed up like she was in spring, and she was all meek and stuttering I thought a cat got her tongue so twisted like that or something. But I wasn't really attracted to her like that. She was a lot of trouble, given her situation with her ex and all, so I really didn't like her that much. Then again, she was always nice to me, and she didn't complain that much. Plus, she minds her own business, so I don't mind being around her."

But instead of telling his therapist what was on his mind, he just merely said. "Not really. She's troublesome."

"Okay," the therapist nodded. "So what made you decide to date her if you find her troublesome?"

"The situation just called for it. At that time, she was done mourning about her breakup with her ex, and I have been staying over more than usual at her place. One day, she asked what kind of relationship we had because she was weirded out at the fact that I knew she liked me and she didn't like it when there were no labels. I didn't seem to mind her, so I said we should go for it."

Now that he heard himself say it, Touya couldn't believe how simpleminded he was about declaring their relationship like it was some kind of one-and-done deal or some simple task he needed to get done. He could've given her a bit of romance instead of just dating her just for the sake of it.

She deserved all my love, after all.

"So you took advantage of the situation?"

"Hmm... kind of."

No, that wasn't it. There's more to why he decided to be with her. He was a bit late when he fell for her (or rather when he realized he was in love with her), so there was a side of him that regretted how he acted like some kind of constipated teenage boy whenever she would try doing lovey-dovey stints. Well, who could blame him? Touya has dated a few girls before (with only one of them lasting for about a year, he guesses? Ah, he doesn't know anymore), so being with her was new. He could even say she was a lot more experienced in dating than him, which kind of sucked because he had sort of "explored" more in the dating field than her.

"At that time, I thought I wanted to be there for her."

"Why do you think you wanted to be there for her?"

Silence.

"Do you feel indebted because she let you stay over even if you weren't her boyfriend at the time?"

Silence.

"Were you pitying her after everything that happened between her and her ex-boyfriend?"

Touya shook his head.

"Did you feel like she needed you at the time?"

"I..."

Did she really? Was he really needed at the time? She never said anything. When she was having her own silent pity party, she had acted as usual, and it did not occur to him at all if a lot was going on in her mind about her ex or if she was regretting her decision to dump his cheating ass. She never fully opened up to him about what exactly happened. She just informed him that she had already broken up with that cheater; that was all. Then weeks passed, and everything was normal, except for her and her unusual silence.

Then one day, she suddenly asked him, "Hey, Dabi-kun? Umm... what are we?"

He had to turn off the television to focus on her as she sat on the other end of the couch, her hands fiddling with her skirt as she shyly breathed out to calm herself. She must've been thinking hard about opening this topic to him, considering the way she was trying to articulate the right words.

"You know about my feelings for you, and ever since I broke up with..." She never dared to mention his name; she wanted him out of their lives already, "you know who, you've been staying here a lot. It's not like I don't want you here. I just... well... I just need clarification, I guess?"

"You guess?" Touya raised a brow, observing her movements and waiting for her to finally get it over with.

"Well, I don't know what to call you. A roommate, perhaps?" Then she shook her head at the term. "That's not it. We're not even sharing a room."

"Oh." Touya smirked teasingly, scooting a bit closer, but not too much. There was still a safe distance between them. "So you want me to share a room with you? How bold."

She instantly flushed at his words, hearing him chuckle lightly as she tried her hardest to be direct. "W-Well... I can't call you a friend. I don't want you as a friend. But I don't like being in a situation where I don't know what exactly we are to each other."

"Then go ahead."

Huh?

"Go ahead and do what you want. I don't mind if we date."

Now that got her scrambling towards him on her knees, suddenly clasping his hands in hers. "R-Really? I can call you my boyfriend and I am now your girlfriend?"

Touya was stunned at the physical touch but nonetheless maintained his composure. "Just so you know, you're gonna regret this. I'm still not gonna give you what you want."

I cannot give you romance. I'm not the best person for that. I don't have an inkling about love and all that stuff. I don't do boyfriend things. That's why, you can back out now. Just find someone else and let me go because I couldn't do it. I'm a jackass for not wanting to be with you yet staying.

"Then, we are dating."

"Okay."

She brought his hands to her cheeks and then laid a warm kiss on his skin affectionately. For the first time, he saw her wear a genuine smile, something she never did. It was that day when he felt so special to see that kind of rare face, and it was only for his eyes—him and no one else's.

"Okay."

"All my life, I wanted to be chosen. I wanted to be given special treatment because I was someone's favorite. She gave that feeling to me. There has never been a day when she would make me feel otherwise. For her, even if I never gave her the best things or even if all I could do was be angry and vent out, I was the perfect person she could ask for. And I knew the consequences of her choosing me, and I knew they would all be not good for her. It didn't sit well with me to leave her alone."

"So, it wasn't love. You didn't love her. You wanted the feeling she gave you."

"At first," Touya admitted. "Eventually, I did. It was not the hardest thing. She became so important to me I don't want to lose her."

"That's why you're here, in this facility, even if you really didn't want to."

"... Yes."

------

"So far away from the start to the end...

And everything seems so pale and blue...

Worst come along to despair...

Come and take me with you far away..."

Touya lay on his bed, listening to the same song he plays whenever he wants sleep to take over him. Remembering her should've brought him joy, a sense of reason in living in this world full of pain and misery; but it only made him realize how much he deprived her of the very thing she wanted from the start.

Love.

Love fucking hurts so bad, he thought, blue eyes staring at the ceiling as he imagined her hovering on top of him. In his mind, she would tuck her hair beneath her ear and smile lovingly at him. And then, she would touch his cheek and kiss his forehead, saying "Wake up, Dabi. Food's already prepared on the table." But then, for him, at the time, it felt like she was loving a stranger, not him. After all, Dabi was not his real name. He was Todoroki Touya, hence his reasoning that she did not really love the real him until that night when he allowed himself to be free from all the hate he carried, to be foolish and naive of all the hurt and just let her embrace him.

"Say my name for me. My name is Touya. Don't call me Dabi. You said you knew Dabi's not my real name, right?"

"Touya."

He kissed her cheek. "One more," he whispered in her ear, wrapping her legs around his hips so he could comfortably settle her on his lap.

Her arms held his shoulders as he buried his face in her neck. The more he peppered kisses on her skin, the more unbearable the desire she had for him.

"Todoroki."

"Eh?"

"Todoroki Touya," he revealed, pulling away to look straight at her. He rubbed his thumb across her lip, feeling the softness against his finger as he was tempted to take a dive and savor her sweet taste. Touya would have to wait, though, until she could finally remember his real self and accept every inch of him. His name. The white hair. His blue eyes. The burnt scars on his skin. The demons inside his brain telling him everything was too good to be true. That this was all just a ploy; a good dream he never had, and soon, she will disappear and not remember him.

"Please remember that. That's my real name. Todoroki is written as roaring fire, and Touya means lamp arrow. That's my name." Touya tightened his embrace around her waist, and it made her swoon, letting his breath ghost over his skin as a mark of his territory. "Say my name for me."

"Todoroki Touya," she repeated to his hair, hearing him sigh in relief as he arranged their position, entering her slowly as she moaned again, "T-Todoroki... T-Touya—AH!"

He chuckled, looking up at her with mirth as he moved slowly to let her adjust. "That's one way of saying my name."

"T-Touya!" She only covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. "That's so mean."

He removed her hands from her face and leaned closer, his lips barely touching hers as he said with a teasing grin, "But you love me, don't you?"

She didn't deny his claim, further letting him close as he claimed her lips in a searing kiss, angling his head so he could take her deeper and have a taste of her heaven. "You know I love you. I always do."

Touya kissed her lips lightly. "That's great; because I love you too."

And then she cried so much it could turn into a waterfall. Touya knew it was all worth the wait, and yet, he could only spend that one night before having to leave her for her sake. If he wanted to give her love, then he would have to face his demons first. As he listens to the song again, he reaches out a hand and imagines it was her face he was holding.

"Please wait for me."

Silence.

"Okay?"

------

Shouto visited him three days after Fuyumi did, handing him three boxes of the fake cigarettes he had given before. In exchange, Touya slipped an envelope with a specific name and address. Along with it were a few stems of baby's breath attached with tape on the front to seal the letter. Shouto wanted to comment on the creativity even if the style looked somewhat like a dork would do. Then again, this was a treatment center, not an art supplies shop, and Touya had to manage with what he could get his hands on.

"Please drop that letter to that specific address in person," Touya instructed carefully, emphasizing the last part. "Do not send it to a local postal office. Just give it to the person directly. Understand?"

Shouto read the name at the back. 

"Who's this?" his younger brother asked.

Touya opened the pack of fake cigarettes and took one stick between his teeth like he did a few months ago. Unlike the nicotine flavor, the taste of mint and chocolate coated his tongue. "She's my girlfriend. We haven't talked ever since I returned to the main house. Might as well inform her I'm still alive and we're still dating."

"Oh." Shouto blinked in realization. Touya had mentioned when he returned to the main house that he stayed with someone for two years and added that it was a girl. Of course, it did not take a genius to figure out he was talking about his girlfriend, making their mother so proud that their oldest brother had found someone to be with during his hardest times.

However...

Touya-nii had never talked about his girlfriend to us. Did not even say her name or where she lives or her job. But Fuyumi-nee said Touya-nii carries an mp3 player with his girlfriend's voice.

"What if I don't meet her there?" Shouto asked for confirmation. "You said you haven't talked since you returned."

Touya jeered at the idea. "That's a load of bull. She won't do that. She said she's mine, so she's mine, and I'm hers."

He sounds like his younger self, Shouto blankly thought, staring at the envelope in his hand. "But why me? You could've entrusted this to Natsu-nii or Fuyumi-nee."

"No thanks." Touya could only imagine Natsuo and Fuyumi throwing jabs at him for being so lovey-dovey with her or berating him for not contacting her for so long. "You're the one who knows me so well. I know I can trust you with that."

Shouto had to keep the envelope in the inside pocket of his denim jacket.

"Fine. You owe me soba."

"Sure. Once I get out of here."

"No. I want it now."

"Just blow from Father's card. Thank me later."

Afterwards, Shouto handed a bag of items that Touya specifically requested from Fuyumi, and he noticed that the first thing Touya took out was the perfume. Actually, Shouto was with Fuyumi when they bought it, and when they took a whiff, they marveled at how good it smelled. "Smells like fresh laundry and Sunday morning," they alluded. But it was a lot different from their brother. Touya's range of perfumes did not smell like this one.

But for some reason, seeing as how Touya held a small smile when he took a sniff, Shouto thinks maybe his brother's tastes might have changed in ways they never knew.

------

The next day, Shouto went to the address mentioned in the letter, making sure he as the correct room number and all that stuff. He pressed the doorbell once. No answer. Another press. Still no answer. He sighed, settling for knocking on the door rudely to alert the person inside. And when no one was still answering, he made the banging sound louder.

"Can I help you? I'm the landlord here."

Shouto looked to his left and saw an old woman carrying a small basket of laundry. At first, she seemed overjoyed but when Shouto turned his full face to her, she became disheartened, setting aside her basket on the ground.

"I'm sending a letter to someone," he said, taking out the envelope. "Her name is... My brother specifically told me to give it to her in person."

"Oh!" The woman clasped her hands in glee. "No wonder I thought you were familiar. Your left side looked a lot like her boyfriend. Tell me, is your brother doing okay?"

Shouto was dumbfounded at what he heard as he touched the side that had his red hair and blue eyes. My left side... looks a lot like... Touya-nii? But Touya-nii has white hair, and I don't have piercings.

"A-Ah, he's doing okay," he replied, trying to be polite but also not mentioning his brother undergoing rehab and therapy. News had been circulating online and if word got out that Touya was alcohol- and cigarette-dependent, the media and paparazzi would disturb their family's peace.

The woman sighed in relief. "I really thought they broke up. She said she hadn't received anything from him ever since he found another job somewhere away from Shizuoka."

Shouto could only nod, not knowing what to say considering he couldn't divulge more information about his brother. "Umm... is she not there?"

"Ah, forgive me! She went out earlier for her doctor's appointment. She'll be back later."

Shouto held the envelope in his hands. While the thought of asking the landlord to give it to woman sounded good, he remembered Touya's words.

"Just give it to the person directly. Understand?"

"Maybe I can give her the letter," she offered but Shouto shook his head.

"I'll come back another time," he replied and went on his merry way.'

He walked down the apartment and trudged down the street when he saw a pregnant woman with long dark hair holding an umbrella in one hand while the other had a bag of oranges. Seeing her face from afar, Shouto noted that the woman looked pretty (not as beautiful as his Momo, of course), her whole appearance donning a spring fashion with her summer dress and flip flops. She adjusted the loose hair from her face, causing her to accidentally drop the bag of oranges. Good thing, Shouto was there to help, quickly helping her pick up the oranges as her condition prevented her from doing so.

"I'll help you take this with you," he said.

The pretty woman was ecstatic, sighing as she rubbed a hand on her belly. It wasn't that big yet, but it was visible to anyone's eye. As they were walking, Shouto couldn't help but notice her familiar scent; the same one he and Fuyumi bought for Touya. And to further confirm his suspicion, they were standing in front of her door, the same door he had knocked on earlier.

He glanced at the woman beside him, carefully memorizing her features. Again, long dark hair with the most vivid hazel eyes that shine so bright. Feminine features that resemble spring and a warm smile. The scent of fresh laundry and a lazy Sunday morning. Also, the slightly visible bump on her stomach. Maybe, she could be the answer to his dilemma.

"I can carry on from here," she chirped, then bowed politely. "Thank you, sir."

"Are you...?" he asked.

Please say yes. Please let it be you.

She nodded in surprise. "T-That's me. Is there a problem?"

With determination, Shouto took out the letter from his jacket and handed it to her. When she saw the familiar handwriting on the back and the stems of the baby's breath taped on the front, her heart pounded in anticipation. She looked back at Shouto.

"I'm Todoroki Shouto, and I'm here on behalf of my brother, Todoroki Touya."

She breathed hard at the revelation. So, it was true. Touya never backed out on what he said in his previous letter before he left. He wasn't letting her go. He will come back for her, and make her his again. As she touched her pregnancy bump, Shouto could notice the unease in her expression.

"Can I come in?" he asked. "I just—"

She pened the door. "I'll have tea ready for you."

The world started spinning for her again.

next chapter

masterlist

tagging: @skiiyoomin, @crookedherringcolorclod, @suksatoru

(feel free to message me if you want me to tag you here too)

[avelera]

Vibrating over Daniel’s ending.

I’d love your thoughts on what it means for next season?

(And any other thoughts you have about the finale are so welcome 🙏)

Heya! I actually wrote up my thoughts here.

But, short Daniel-specific version:

I think we'll get Louis-as-Lestat's-agent inviting Daniel to interview Rockstar Lestat for his next book and Daniel salivating at the chance to do so.

(Very different tonally from what I was expecting, btw. No joke, I thought the falling books were going to be Lestat crashing through the ceiling to kidnap Daniel for an interview so he could tell HIS version of the story lol, but I can see why they went for a tearful Loustat reunion instead and how kidnapping Daniel wouldn't have worked with that, funny as it is in my head).

The good news is that I believe we'll get Daniel's snark throughout Lestat's book since that's been the framing device of the show so far (though, there's less of a "mystery" to unravel in Lestat's narrative than in Louis's so... who knows, maybe they will break the format since you don't need an investigative reporter with Lestat to drag secrets out, Lestat literally can't shut up). Honestly, I am SALIVATING to hear Daniel tear Lestat's narrative limb from limb lol.

The bad news is that I think, sadly, that if we dive right into 1-2 seasons of The Vampire Lestat, we won't be getting the space to explore Armand/Daniel and why that happened and if Devil's Minion happened in the past until a theoretical Season 5, if we follow the books and leave the end of TVL to go into Queen of the Damned, where that beat takes place.

IF we do that, sadly, it means we'll have to wait on the full explanation of Daniel/Armand.

HOWEVER, I also wouldn't put it past the show to actually do more interweaving of past and present than that. Have some modern stuff like Daniel/Armand/Devil's Minion in the present day while we're ducking in and out of Lestat's trip down memory lane to 18th century France.

GENUINELY, even as a writer, I don't know how they'll tackle the order of events given that means it'll be a LONG time before we get an explanation for stuff they set up in this season like Daniel's turning and part of me thinks they won't wait THAT long because the eagerness to learn this info is here now, and might not be there in a couple years, people might have forgotten by then.

That said, they also introduced Raglan James, the villain of Vampire Chronicles Book 4, the Body Thief, so that actually signals that they're willing to seed things very early before the pay-off, UNLESS they remix the order of the books significantly and Akasha gets pushed back.

It actually would kinda make sense to push Akasha back she is an EXCELLENT final boss and Body Thief is a bit of a come-down after her so I wouldn't totally blame them for swapping those two books in terms of the order we see their events in. But maybe not! They've been surprisingly faithful in a lot of ways. Regardless, I trust their discretion.

And finally, my hope when we DO finally get Devil's Minion, we're going to have the modern Daniel/Armand juxtaposed with the 1970s one, ending in Armand refusing to turn him in the 1970s, wiping his memory (perhaps knowing that vampirism would drive young Daniel mad, as it canonically did in the books, but old Daniel is made of sterner stuff now) and then we flash forward to the present and old man vampire Daniel and Armand and whatever THEY'VE got going on (hopefully: Daniel domming the shit out of Armand the way he always wanted).

So ok, I lied, I had more thoughts, lol!

[tickly-trashcan]

What Goes Around... {Zane, Cole, Kai, and Jay}

A/N: okay my bad i totally ignored that poll bc i wanted to post this so bad LOL i literally wrote this in almost an entire sitting HELP ME i went absolutely bonkers after @/jettorii posted some art (go check them out right now!!) and i just. yeah. anyways!! i think this is so so funny and i think these guys are goofy as hell and i just. yeah. i am gonna stop talking now bc i literally spent so much brainpower writing this i cant think anymore LOL

Summary: Zane keeps walking in on his fellow ninja getting tickled. But you know what they say: what goes around, comes around!

Word Count: 2.3k (under the cut!)

“Nononohohoho!!! Jay, get ohohohoff!” Cole wheezed, kicking his legs weakly as he tried to shake Jay off of him. Jay only laughed, scribbling his fingers all over Cole’s sides as Cole hollered, pounding his fists into the ground.

Zane walked into the room after hearing the commotion, holding back a laugh as he witnessed Cole desperately trying to wiggle away from Jay. Cole was laying on his belly while Jay straddled his back, tickling him mercilessly. Cole wailed, looking up and seeing Zane.

“Zahahahane!! Hehehelp me, plehehehease!!”

Zane raised an eyebrow, noticing where Jay was tickling Cole. “Jay, why aren’t you tickling his ribs? Isn’t he more ticklish there?”

“You are so right!! Thanks, Zane!”

“Why!? Zahahahane, dohohon’t leheHEAVE!! JAhahay!!” Cole screeched when Jay found his ribs, digging in lightly as Cole tried to clamp his arms down, squirming around frantically.

“Ha! Now you’ll think twice before you try and mess with my stuff!”

“Thehehen don’t leave your – HAha! Don’t leheheave your juhunk all over the plahahace!”

“Junk!? What are you calling junk? You asked for it…!”

Zane walked away quickly before it escalated further, chuckling to himself as he heard Cole shriek again from down the hall, begging for Jay to stop. He didn’t particularly know exactly what had been happening, but Cole had probably done something he shouldn’t have.

Zane went to work on dinner, but he could still hear Cole laughing down the hallway. When he finally called for dinner he heard footsteps running down the hall. Jay peeked his head in and commented on how delicious it smelled.

“Where’s Cole?” Zane asked, dishing up some food for Jay as Kai walked in as well.

Jay chuckled. “He’s recovering.”

Kai looked at Jay with a worried face. “What do you mean… ‘recovering’?”

Jay shrugged and then explained to Kai how Cole had knocked over one of the things he’d been working on with some parts that his parents had sent him. Kai only rolled his eyes before taking a plate from Zane.

Cole eventually walked in, his face a resting scowl as he glared at Jay. He walked up to Zane, who dished him up some food as well. He narrowed his eyes at Zane as he took the plate. He quickly sat down next to Kai, staring down Jay. Jay stared back, raising an eyebrow.

“What are you glaring at me for?”

“What do you think!?”

Kai sighed. “Can we have a peaceful dinner, please? Nya’s already been bugging me to the point of a headache.”

Jay snorted. The dinner was quiet aside from the typical chatter, and Nya and Sensei Wu eventually came in as well, sitting down at the table to eat with the ninja. 

The next day, Zane was sitting in the bedroom meditating. They were docked for a little while as Jay and Nya did some repairs, so Zane was taking advantage of the quiet.

That quiet only lasted for so long, however. There was a sudden screech from the deck, making Zane jump up in alarm. He ran outside, but his worries washed away as he noticed Kai and Cole on the ground wrestling. The two of them were probably training. Zane sighed and was about to turn back in when the screeching turned to laughter.

“Dohohohon’t you dahahare! Cohohole, I swehehehear–!”

“You started it! I totally won that last round, but you’re too stubborn to admit it!”

“I’m nohohot stubborn!! You’re stubbohohorn!!”

Cole snorted, going back to squeezing Kai’s hips as he threw his head back and hollered.

Zane chuckled as he walked over to Kai and Cole, crossing his arms as he watched Kai flailing around like as if he were fighting for his life. Cole had him pinned with his leg, squeezing his hips as Kai rolled around as much as he could.

“Zahahahane! Sahahave me!!”

“Pfft, like he would. He totally stabbed me in the back yesterday!”

Zane furrowed his brows at Cole. Cole only shrugged. “What? You did!”

“It was because Jay wasn’t tickling you right. I mean, you’re not tickling Kai right, either. He’s much more ticklish on his feet.”

Cole’s eyes widened and he looked down at Kai, smirking evilly. Kai shook his head wildly, giggling nervously. “Cole– Cole, let’s talk about this!!”

“Thank you very much for the intel, Zane!”

“Zane, plehehease, you neeheed to heheHEHELP!! Cole, not thehehehehere!!!”

While Kai was trying to get Zane to help, Cole quickly put Kai’s ankles in a leglock. He scribbled his fingers all over the soles, making Kai throw his head back and practically yell. He tried to kick his legs around, wiggling and squirming as he cackled.

“Zahahahane!! Trahahaitor!!”

Zane rolled his eyes. “You’ll live.”

Zane quickly scuttled away as Cole scratched at Kai’s feet. Kai was bright red when Zane turned around for one last glance, and his laughter was echoing across the deck of the Bounty.

Zane returned to his meditation and managed to clear his head a little bit before Jay walked in. He was grumbling and he had grease all over his face as Zane chuckled. “You have a little something on your face, Jay.”

“Yeah, Zane, I know. I was fixing this little… Ugh, I don’t even remember what it’s called. My brain is fried.”

Zane hummed. “Take a rest. Want to meditate?”

Jay groaned. “Thanks, but no thanks. I think I’ll just avoid Nya for a little while. She’s better at the Bounty repairs than I am.”

Zane chuckled and Jay wiped his face of grease. Kai and Cole eventually walked in as well. Cole had a rather smug look on his face while Kai looked like he was still catching his breath, shooting glares at Cole and Zane.

“My feet are still tingling…” Kai grumbled, making Cole laugh.

“Does that mean you have… Tingle Toes?”

Zane, Kai, and Cole all turned to look at Jay with rather unamused faces. “Do… Do you guys get it? Like twinkle toes but with tingles. Tingle Toes! Hahaha… I’ll stop.”

The four of them eventually went off to do their own thing again, with Kai and Jay going to check on Nya while Cole and Zane started dinner.

“Cole, can I trust you to not burn this?” Zane asked, setting his apron down for a moment. Cole rolled his eyes.

“Of course, you can!! I’m not Kai!”

Zane hesitantly left the kitchen, going onto the deck in order to check on Kai, Jay, and Nya. “Dinner’s almost ready, you guys. Probably another five minutes–”

“Kai, plehehehease!! I was juhuhust kidding!!”

Nya walked by Zane on her way in, sighing dramatically. “Zane, can you de-escalate them? I’ll go make sure that Cole doesn’t burn dinner.”

Zane mouthed a quick “thank you” and went over to where Kai and Jay were. Kai had his arm wrapped around Jay’s waist while he dug under his arm, making Jay squeal and snort as he tried to wiggle out of Kai’s arm.

“Zahahahane! I didn’t dohoho ahahahanything wrong!! Dohohon’t listen to Kahahai!”

“He’s a total liar, Zane! He was flirting with Nya right in front of my face! Do you even understand how traumatizing that is, Jay?”

“I’m an ohohohonly child!!” Jay retorted. Kai scoffed.

“Zane, where should I tickle him?”

Jay shook his head, squirming. “Dohohon’t tell him!!”

Zane chuckled. “You don’t know it’s his stomach?”

“Zahahahane!!!” Jay squealed, shrieking when Kai immediately began to claw at his tummy. Jay’s knees buckled and he fell to the ground, Kai following as he used both hands to scribble across his tummy.

“Thank you, Zane! We’ll be in for dinner in… What did you say, five minutes?”

“I’m gohohohonna die!! Zahahahane, plehehehease!!”

Zane turned around. “Gotta make sure dinner doesn’t burn.”

Zane could hear Jay pleading for him to come back while Kai tickled him to bits. Even as Zane closed the door to the kitchen, Jay could still be heard. 

Nya and Cole were standing by the food, Nya stirring the pot while Cole watched. “Thank you for de-escalating, Zane.”

Cole chuckled. “He probably just made it worse.”

Nya rolled her eyes. “Jay had it coming.”

Cole and Zane nodded in agreement.

Jay and Kai eventually walked into the kitchen, Kai looking triumphant as ever while Jay was bright pink and teary, waving weakly to Nya. He sat down quickly before Kai noticed him waving, leaning against the table for support.

The group chatted during dinner, Jay joining in as soon as he had fully recovered from the tickle attack he had suffered earlier. Nya and Zane cleaned up while the rest of the group went to the bedroom, getting ready to finally go to bed.

“Urgh, I ate too much,” Jay complained, rubbing his tummy while he laid on his bed. Kai snickered, poking him there as Jay jumped. “I will literally kick you off the Bounty, Kai. No more tickles!”

Cole laughed, nudging Kai. “Lemme guess: Zane told you one of Jay’s spots?”

“Yeah, it’s only fun when you’re not on the receiving end,” Kai said, shooting a quick glare at Cole, who held his hands up in defense. Jay whined.

“He totally betrayed me! I wasn’t even doing anything wrong!”

Kai raised an eyebrow at Jay. “Are you serious?”

Before Jay could dig his own grave again, Cole interrupted. “Well, do you guys know who hasn’t been on the receiving end yet?”

Kai’s eyes widened as he realized what Cole was suggesting, a big grin growing on his face. Jay furrowed his brows until he caught on, sitting up with a grin. Just as the three of them unanimously decided on what to do, the door opened. They all turned to see Zane walking in, yawning as he closed it behind him. He stopped.

“...Why are you all staring at me?”

“We’re not staring at you,” Jay said, still staring at Zane. 

Zane nodded his head slowly, walking over to his bed. “Okay… Uhm… Goodnight?”

“Wait, Zane, I want a goodnight hug,” Cole said quickly, making Kai choke on a laugh. Jay fell back on his bed giggling as Zane chuckled.

Cole quickly gave Zane a big hug, lifting him off the ground as Zane groaned. He pat Cole’s back when he set him down, shifting after a few moments. “You can let me go now.”

“Nope, not yet,” Cole smirked. He quickly scooped Zane up by hooking his arms under Zane’s, lifting him off the ground as Zane gasped.

“Wait, Cole, put me down!” Zane kicked his legs a bit as Kai and Jay started to walk up to him, raising their hands. His eyes widened as he shook his head. “No wait, you guys!”

“Where should we tickle him, Cole?”

Cole hummed, Zane already giggling nervously as Jay hovered his hands over his torso. “Why don’t we try the spots he said for us? What were they, Zane?”

Zane clamped his mouth shut, his face twisted into a nervous smile as Kai laughed. “He’s suddenly very quiet! We could start with his belly. That’s where I got Jay.”

“Hey!”

Kai ignored Jay’s offended tone and poked Zane’s tummy a few times, making him squirm in Cole’s arms as he giggled a few times. Jay followed, scribbling at his lower tummy as Zane squeaked, trying to wiggle away from Jay. Kai tickled the sides of his stomach and Zane gasped, breaking out into a fit of giggles as the two of them tickled him.

“Nohohoho! This isn’t fahahair!”

“It totally is! You were exposing us left and right earlier!!” Jay pointed out, giving Zane’s hips a quick squeeze. Zane jolted, kicking his legs out a bit as Kai and Jay avoided it. He whined, trying to pull his arms free as he pushed lightly at Kai and Jay’s faces.

“Where else, Cole?”

“Try his ribs!”

Jay stayed tickling Zane’s stomach while Kai began to dig into his ribs, making Zane shriek uncharacteristically before laughing, twisting from side to side to try and avoid Kai’s tickly fingers. It didn’t help that Cole was holding his arms up, completely exposing his ribs as Kai tickled him. Jay scribbling his fingers all over his stomach didn’t help either as Zane laughed.

“Stahahahap! I’m sohohohorry!! Plehehehease, no mohore!”

“You could always tell us your spot, Zane! Maybe then this would go quicker!” Cole snickered, but Zane shook his head.

“Nohohoho!”

“I’m gonna try his feet,” Jay said, reaching for Zane’s ankle. He pulled his leg away, kicking it out of Jay’s reach for a few moments before Jay finally managed to catch it. He laughed triumphantly and began to scribble his fingers all over his foot, making Zane yelp. He kicked his foot around, his other leg flailing uselessly as Jay chuckled.

Kai crept up towards Zane’s upper ribs, making him shriek and shake his head, squirming. “Nohoho! Kai, dohohon’t!!”

“Don’t what?” Kai smirked, slowly bringing his hands up higher. Zane whined, trying to tug his arms down as he laughed profusely. “I don’t think Zane even needs to tell us! His spot is right… here!”

Kai quickly dug his fingers under Zane’s arms, making him shriek and cackle, squirming around frantically as the rest of the group laughed with him. Zane tried to squirm away, laughing and wiggling as Kai scribbled under his arms.

“Nohohohot thehehehere!! Kahahai, please!! No mohohohore!!”

“Should we cut him some slack?” Cole finally asked. Kai and Jay exchanged a glance and ceased their tickling. Cole set Zane down on his bed as he continued to giggle, gently swatting Cole’s hands away as he curled up.

“I cahahan still feeheel it,” He whined. 

“We’re even now, right?”

Zane nodded quickly, making the group laugh as they all finally tucked into bed. They all said goodnight, but Zane’s residual giggles could still be heard for a little while, putting smiles on everyone’s faces.

[saltoftheearth5x2]

Did Jesus really Die and Raise from the Grave?

In my previous post, I wrote about the legitimacy of Jesus's time here on earth [see here], and now I'd like to address the proof of his resurrection. I will probably spend a couple weeks on this, so there will be a few parts. However, nothing is set in stone yet.

...

Could the resurrection have been faked?

Those who have read the Bible know that the resurrection was real due to the countless prophecies and predictions (from Jesus himself) of his ascension. Not to mention the other miracles - like Lazarus' resurrection- that were hints to Jesus's capabilities.

But let's entertain the idea that Jesus wasn't able to raise from the dead. We've already established that he did exist in my previous post, so his death for sure happened.

If Jesus was just a mortal man, how come so many people believed he rose from the dead?

His death must have been faked.

But is that really possible? Let's think about this for a minute.

The story is: Jesus died and was buried in a tomb, which was then sealed. The tomb was guarded by soldiers to make sure nobody stole the body. Three days later, women found the tomb empty.

That's a bit watered down, but you get the idea.

So in order to fake the resurrection, the disciples would need to have the body, right? That means they'd need to steal it.

Why couldn't they just bribe the guards? You may ask.

The disciples were not rich nor bold at the time of Jesus's death. They certainly couldn't afford to pay off the guards - not that the guards would be persuaded anyway.

So the body would have to be stolen. But in order for that to happen, it would require that:

Profesional soldiers feel asleep on the job.

The disciples- who fled from Jesus after his death - would courageously come back to the tomb.

The disciples would have to be strong enough to roll away the stone - not to mention that it's sealed and there are guards sleeping nearby.

The disciples would then take the body stealthily.

The disciples would somehow hide the body so no one ever found it.

The disciples then would lie about his resurrection.

If that still seems plausible, let me take this further.

The disciples were not skilled undercover spies (minus Simon the Zealot perhaps). They were quite literally everyday men. And I'm not trying to be disrespectful here, but the disciples would not have what it takes to steal a body. Not to mention that they were still shaken from Jesus's brutal death. They hid from the outside world, in fear of being taken and killed due to their relations to Jesus.

Even if they did go and try to steal the body, they'd have to be strong enough to roll the stone away without waking the guards. And you'd think that profesional guards would sleep lightly.

If you don't see what I mean, think of it this way:

Here's the part that's the most funny. When the women discovered the empty tomb, they saw Jesus's wrappings folded nicely where he used to lay. So the disciples would reach the body and stop, then take the time to unwrap him, then fold the wrappings, and then leave. That's ridiculous!

A couple people wanted to steal a pizza from a delivery driver while he's distracted. So they first carefully unzip the bag and open the box, then they see that there are olives and peppers on the pizza - and they hate olives and peppers on their pizza. So they take the time and pick off every single piece of olive, then every single piece of pepper, and place them in a neat row in the corner of the box. Then finally, they take the slices of pizza and run - all while the driver is distracted. Why couldn't you just take the pizza and pick off the toppings later?

But thats not even the craziest part.

After successfully taking the body, disposing of it, and deceiving the community, the disciples then go around preaching about Jesus's resurrection. For those who don't know, all of the disciples had suffered, been persecuted or imprisoned, and all but one died because of their faith [John was exiled and was able to live out his life].

So you're telling me that these men suffered and died for something that they know is a lie? They gave up everything for a myth? Some people take pranks seriously, but never that far.

So which is more likely? The disciples stole the body, or Jesus was resurrected from the dead?

If you have any questions regarding the Christian faith, please ask me in my ask box. I am not a perfect person, but I will try and answer your questions as best as I can. We all have much more to learn, myself included. So please, do not be shy.

...

There may or may not eventually be a part 2 for this. If there is, I can link it to this post.

...

[withlovewendy]

Been a long time..

I don't check in here enough, seems like I don't spill my thoughts out as often as I did back in my younger days, I wonder is it a good thing or a bad thing? Being a parent for so long now.. I feel like my time is so sparse, like I constantly worry about my next duty while being present in life, and most of my time is spent on planning, worrying, thinking of what I need to do next instead of "enjoying".

Been more than 6 months since I wrote here, and so much has happened..

Firstly, Luki came to us and went opposite my house. How it happened? Well, I guess it was a really bad timing to adopt a dog, a Golden Retriever no less when you're still in the midst of shifting house and completing renovation. I held it in for two whole weeks, shifting between two houses while trying to do my mom duties, preparing the new house while maintaining the then current house. It was so much on my plate at that time, I was sleeping in a tent in my new master room, with no curtains, no mattress, the house had no furniture, no kitchen and I was cooking instant food on the floor with a ramen pot.

I loved having a dog but really, timing was so bad and I'm so thankful my neighbour decided to adopt him so I can be his part time mom, I can still do the fun things with him and return him. To me, it's a win for everyone, my neighbour who has no kids get to have a furkid to love and keep themselves busy as well. As of writing, it's been officially 7 months since I moved in, the journey was long and taxing, but I'm finally feeling settled down now, the house really feels like home now, it's cozy, safe and I don't feel like I'm trapped. I tend spend a lot more time outdoors, started a mini garden a couple of months ago and currently into fostering stray mama cats and their babies.

While I was still living at my old place, I thought of fostering cats but the lack of space made it really inconvenient and I just shut that idea out. However, after moving here, I know I can help out because it's a lot easier to access the cats and that's what I did. Two days into Luki being with us, came Emma and her six babies. I couldn't reject them this time as they were right in front of my house and I knew I had to do something. The babies were literally running onto the road and it was a matter of time before they become roadkill. So, I transformed my kid's study room into a makeshift cat room/nursery and it was a long path to getting them adopted by loving families but eventually we got there. Emma got spayed and is now living her best life, looking all shiny and fluffy compared to her matted and skinny self when she first came.

With me now is Ginger, funny enough she wasn't even my stray as she was from the next road but seeing her pregnant I knew I had to intervene. It was quite an adventure to get her in because she gave birth in my neighbour's car and there wasn't anything I could do so it took a village to extract the kittens out as they were in the undercarriage. I did the same set up again as I did for Emma and with experience now, and a settled house, the fostering process is a lot easier and enjoyable compared to Emma's time. Back then, I just remembered feeling very overwhelmed as I had to deal with Luki, and I had just recently brought Thomas, Norah, Salem and Mei Mei over to the new house and these additional 7 cats didn't make life easier.

So that's about the update for now, kids are still adjusting to the new distance to school although we've been doing it for a few months now, I'm a lot more at ease here as I tend to be able to find things to keep me busy and there's so much more to do with a bigger house (more cleaning!) but I'm not complaining because I love the space that I have in my kitchen, the openness of the house just makes me feel like I can breathe.

[noctilucous-sunni]

more reversed sagau brainrot!! | a lot more under the cut

- when scara sorta just ✨materializes✨ in your apartment and you’re like excuse me wtf is happening, so u pinch yourself to see if its a dream and its not apparently so you must be going insane BECAUSE WHAT OTHER EXPLANATION WOULD THERE BE FOR ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTERS EXISTING IN YOUR APARTMENT

- i’d feel like in the sagau or reversed sagau he wouldn’t be too fond of the all-creator bc if thats the all-creator wouldn’t that mean that you’re the one responsible for his existence and his suffering?? but when he just sees you being so genuinely nice and caring and yet strong and doesn’t take his shit he kinda lets down the guard a little

- plus he literally has nowhere else to stay so when you threatened to kick him out he realized it was either live with you or out on the streets. and he kinda hated the streets, so he ended up trying to find your place all dirty and stuff from tripping in way too many godforsaken random holes in the ground. poor gremlin.

- he is just super bratty and still has that air of “i think im better than you” but it never works on you bc you dont take his shit and you make him do half of your chores when your pissed at him (and you make sure there are no complaints)

- he wouldn't call you your grace after a while and just uses your name, you however come up with a million nicknames for him and you think its funny that it annoys him on occasion

- you argue. A lot. like so much that your neighbour and the apartment below you complained several times and also kinda tried to make the landlord kick u out so you made scara apologize to them bc hes mainly the reason its so noisy

- he will actually follow you everywhere, sorta like a guard dog. everyone around you is pretty intimidated by him but they are even more scared of you when they see that you basically keep him in check

- he can’t fucking cook dear lord. you told him to stay in the fucking apartment bc you had an important meeting today and he couldnt come with you and he was like “i didnt want to come anyway” and you just said “fuck you” (affectionate) in return (note: wrote this before his signature dish came out and he’s actually a really good cook don’t judge me ahaha)

- but when you come back your apartment and kitchen especially is a mess. you forgot to teach him how to use online delivery. and hes just like chilling out watching tv with mild interest, acting like half of your apartment isnt covered in eggs and flour and who knows what else

“scara what the fuck happened here”

“the stupid stove of yours doesnt work and neither does that beeping machine”

“clean it up”

“no”

“well i guess we wont have any food today or tomorrow, until you clean. it. UP." *glare*

he then leaves it but by the next afternoon he's actually getting hungry and grumpy and eventually starts cleaning it up the next day when he can't take it anymore and you finally come home to a clean kitchen bc thank god, you didn't know how much longer you could live on your co-worker's lunches

- you're both just so stubborn. he's stubborn and so are you and that leaves the apartment just with a tense silence AND when someone sees u at that time they feel so uncomfortable bc the atmosphere is just so tense between the two of you since neither of you agree

- silent treatment happens a lot and its really fucking stupid bc you both wanna talk to each other after like a few days but neither of you want to be the first one to admit that

- omg you absolutely hate having guests now BECAUSE HOW ARE YOU MEANT TO EXPLAIN HIM??? also he has to have normal clothes now and he looked at all your clothing choices in disgust

- everyone thinks he's just a friend until they realize he actually lives with you and then they're like "oohhhh are you together??" and think that he's your boyfriend/partner. and honestly you dont even deny it bc there is no feasible way to explain who he really is (without sounding crazy) + you get your parents off your back abt getting a boyfriend bc they kept trying to make you go on blind dates and now you're free from that phew

- but some of your friends/co-workers are all like "really? this lil guy? and they often say this around him and it just annoys and offends him to no end. but also you're surprisingly defensive of him, like yes he's a bitchy emo gremlin but he's your bitchy emo gremlin

[ba-katsuki]

Can You Keep a Secret?

Can You Keep a Secret?

Collaboration with @httptamaki​

Bakugou x Female!Reader

Synopsis: Bakugou and you have been dating each other for months now, unknown to your friends and classmates. Both of you were new to this whole relationship thing and decided to keep things lowkey at the start. However, as time goes on, the teasing intensifies and with Bakugou's competitive nature, it soon turned into a game. Who can keep a secret, and who is going to expose it all?

a/n – I wrote this in one seating at 3 in the morning so if some parts don't make much sense, I am terribly sorry.

Warnings: 18+ (minors DO NOT interact, NSFW), slight footjob, dirty talk, minor degradation, slight choking, sloppy blowjob, swallowing/cum eating, risky public sex, creampie, unprotected sex

*while the story takes place in school still, i wrote it with 18+ year old/final year Bakugou in mind!!!

~~~~

With shaking hands, you shove the spoon of rice into your mouth and chewed, praying that the people surrounding you, your close friends and classmates, did not catch the look of ecstasy that momentarily passed your face. The handsome ash-blonde opposite you flash you a cocky grin with a mischievous glint in his eye, as he pressed his sock-clad foot deeper between your thighs. His big toe rubbed harsh circles on your sensitive clit, your arousal staining your panties and his socks. Bakugou jerked his leg under the table, pretending to be shifting in his seat, his big toe pushing into your entrance suddenly. You let out a surprised squeak as your toe curl. Suddenly aware of the curious eyes on you, you let out a series of coughs and pat aggressively at your chest, pretending to have accidentally choked on your food.

"I think… the rice… went down the…wrong hole…" you said between coughs as you reach for your iced drink, hoping your friends bought the act and that the coldness of the drink was cool down the heat in your face.

"jeez y/n slow down! There's still 15 minutes of lunch left to go," Mina laughs at you as she reaches over to pat your back.

"thank god." You muttered under your breath as you took another gulp of your drink. You sent a glare towards your annoying boyfriend opposite you, whose foot is still on your clothed pussy, by the way, shamelessly rubbing against you. He returns your glare with a smug look, leaning back into the seat and resting his right arm on the chair, which just annoys you even further. You couldn't remember that last time you had a peaceful lunch with Bakugou around these past few weeks. He was always teasing you under the table, whether with his hands or his leg. You had been able to hold in it with relatively minimal problem the previous times but for some reason, he was especially aggressive and pushy today. Literally.

You and Bakugou have been dating for a couple of months now, which honestly comes as a surprise to you. If someone had told you that you and Bakugou would become a couple when you first started thirsting and crushing on him, you have laughed in their face. I mean, just look at him. He was so utterly committed to becoming the number 1 pro hero that you didn't think he would indulge himself in something so trivial like a relationship. And he didn't help that he was calling you a dumbass or an extra or some other mean names every five seconds. So you settled for a one-sided crush. It was going well, quietly crushing on him from the sidelines, until one heated argument. You knew Bakugou was a massive tsundere, always saying brash and demeaning things even if he doesn't mean it, but that day you were just out of it. You were falling behind the class, training went terrible for you and you were exhausted and so beaten. Bakugou saw you training alone in the woods and decides to approach you with his loud mouth. You snapped and Bakugou, not backing down from the argument, argued back. Amid the argument, an argument which you honestly can't even remember that well down because of what happened next, you blurted out your feelings for him. It took him aback and you were expecting him to ridicule you or reject you harshly, something you cannot handle then and so you walked away. What you didn't expect was for Bakugou to grab you and smashed his lips onto yours.

That marked the very dramatic and surprising start of your relationship. Both you and Bakugou were very new to this whole dating thing and with Bakugou's pride, you guys decided to keep things lowkey and not let other people know about the relationship. Bakugou would "rather die than have raccoon eyes and dunce face be all up in his face", you quote.

From secret hand-holding between classes and the late-night cuddling sessions at either one of your rooms, the whole lowkey relationship was going amazing. Both of you enjoyed the adrenaline that came with keeping your relationship a secret and sneaking moments of affection and intimacy in front of your friends. Your relationship progressed fast and soon, both of you had passed all imaginary bases. You were so happy in the relationship, even with all the hiding and secrecy. But then…Bakugou decides to take it a step further. Hand holding between classes became ass grabbing. He would slip his hand under your skirt whenever the opportunity arises and grab smack your plump ass or grab that. He would corner you in the locker room and make out with you, grinding his bulge against you or tease your pussy during lunch. He was obviously winding you up, challenging you, trying to see if you will be the one to expose the relationship. Being less competitive, you did not immediately take on his challenge and even after you did, you seldom retaliate.

But, today is a different story.

You've had enough of his teasing and you pushed his leg away with your hands. He raised an eyebrow at you as he set his foot back onto his shoe. He brings his drink up to his lips as he takes a sip, his eyes watching you from behind the cup like a hawk, his mind plotting your punishment. You pulled your chair towards the table and slipped the shoe off your right foot. Leaning forward like he did, you reach your right leg forward towards Bakugou and pressed the length of your foot against his crotch. His eyes widen, obviously not expecting you to return the teasing, and he almost spits his drink out. Oh, how you would love to see him actually spit out his drink all flustered, losing his composure in front of the squad but he held himself back with his insane reflexes. He was already semi-hard from teasing you. You curled your toes around the shape of his dick and dragged your foot down his length slowly, feeling his dick harden against your toes and the way he lids closed slightly. You pressed your foot harder into him as you reach the base of his length, where his balls are probably full of lust and cum. You rubbed circles with your big toes against his balls, where you knew he was extremely sensitive especially when he is hard and turned on, and you watch as he breathed in sharply through his nose, letting out a soft hiss that was easy to miss if you weren't paying attention. You dragged your feet up his length again, this time much faster, and then back down. You've never given him a footjob before but damn, this is hot, and you pressed your thighs together, trying to create some friction.

You almost, ALMOST, forgot about your surroundings until you heard the bell ring and your friends around you move. You drop your feet almost immediately and sat up, alarmed. You glance in the direction of your friends. Kirishima and Denki were still engaged in conversation as they got up from their seats with their trays in hand and Sero was laughing at something Mina said. You let out a breath of relief.

"Are you okay, y/n?" Mina questions when she saw that you were still frozen in your seat. "Lunch break is over and we better leave. Don't wanna be late for sparring class next," she shudders as she remembers the glare Aizawa sensei gave her the last time she was late.

"oh..right…sorry I was uhm…" you stuttered as you pushed your chair out and grab your tray. Bakugou had already walked away, a little funny you noticed, probably due to the huge boner he has in his pants. You would have laughed but the adrenaline you felt was numbing you.

"Are you fantasizing about some anime boy again, y/n?" Mina laughs as she jokingly slaps your back. "How are you gonna find a real-life boyfriend like that?"

You laughed. The truth cannot be further away. If only she knew what was going on under the table between you and Bakugou, your boyfriend.

As you walk to the locker rooms with the Bakusquad, engaging in light conversations with Mina, you refuse you even glance in the direction of Bakugou. You could feel his intense glare at the side of your head and the tension emitting from him. He excused himself to the bathroom halfway through and you felt your shoulders dropped unconsciously. The sexual tension between you two was insane and it's a wonder how the squad haven't sensed anything yet. Not having your boyfriend staring intensely at you was a relief but at the same time, just the thought of him jerking himself off in the bathroom makes your core clench.

~~~~

You praised the lord as you packed up your hero costume in the locker room, changing into a normal t-shirt and comfortable shorts. Sparring class went on smoothly and you were not paired with Bakugou a single time. You don't know how you would have handled sparring with him after that whole lunch situation. You grabbed your towel and walked out of the quiet locker room. The girls had already left, and so had the boys. You decided to stay behind to do some additional solo quirk training in the gym and you were extremely thankful that Bakugou had been dragged away by Kirishima for some sparring. Bakugou reappeared in class in his hero costume, a tad later than the rest of class, but still on time nonetheless. The moment he walked in, his eyes latched onto you. You were in a conversation with Kirishima and Denki, and Bakugou did not seem happy about that as his eyebrows lowered and tensed up, his lips curled inward into a scowl. Bakugou was fine with you hanging out with them, they were as much your friends as they are his (even if he always tries to deny it), but he did have a possessive streak in him. Especially when he has been all riled up like that. You thought he was going to burn holes into your head with his intense stare but thankfully, Midoriya approached him and he proceeded to yell his head off at him.

Gosh, you are going to be in so much trouble tonight. This is why you rarely retaliate. Bakugou is an immense sore loser and extremely competitive, and he would always return the favour in double fold.

The gym lights were already dimmed by the time you walked out of the locker room. You ponder about ways to appease Bakugou later tonight, hoping he will not torture and tease you too much. Your thoughts were cut short when a hand reached out and grabbed your wrist, spinning you around and pinning you to the cold and hard gym wall. Your items clatter to the ground, the noise echoing in the vast empty gym. A large muscular thigh parted your legs and pressed up against your core as another hand grabbed hold of your throat and squeezed.

"Aren't you getting bold, babygirl?" he growls, his warm breath hitting your cheeks.

"Katsuki…" you gasped as he gave your throat another squeeze.

"That was hella difficult to take care of ya know," he spat angrily as he grinds the top of his knees harshly you. You can feel the wetness growing between your thighs and your legs were turning into jelly. He pulls your head towards him and captured your bottom lip in a harsh bite. You moaned at his assault.

"You…you started it…uhhh," you moaned as he pushed his thigh up higher into you, his forehead pressed against yours, "…started it first…uhhh…'tsuki."

The corner of his lips quirks up into a threatening smirk. His hand frees your wrist and moves to grab your leg, lifting it from the ground and hooking it around it waist. His hand trails from your calf to your thigh slowly, raking his short fingernails along your skin. The hand around your throat squeezed harder, pressing you harder into the wall. You gasped for air, your eyes rolling back in pleasure and your hands fisting tightly in his black tank top.

"You were the one that didn't stop me babygirl," his lips brushing against yours as he speaks. He relaxes his hand from your throat and grabs your chin instead, pulling your head towards him as he envelops your lips in a deep kiss. His lips move passionately against yours, full of lust, as his knee continues its assault. Your leg was losing strength as you start to slide down the smooth wall. Removing his hands from your chin, he moves to lift your other leg from the ground to his waist. You hook your legs around him, pulling him closer to you with your lips moving frantically against his. He lifts your body from under your thighs, his fingers digging into your soft flesh.

"Katsuki…" you whisper between kisses.

"You feel so good baby," Bakugou murmurs, gripping the flesh of your thighs tighter.

Another moan erupts from your lips and Bakugou wastes no time in slipping his tongue into you. Your tongues swirl together, Bakugou's tongue dominating yours. He rakes his fingers down the curve of your thighs to your ass, slipping under your shorts and palming your cheeks.

"Fuck babygirl," he groans between kisses, "your ass feels so good."

"Katsuki please" you begged, pressing yourself against his huge bulge and grinding desperately. Your pussy is overflowing with arousal, soaking through your panties and shorts, and you ache for any form of friction against that sensitive bud.

"Nuh uh baby," Bakugou teases as he takes a small step back, leaving a gap between the two of you, "you don't get to cum so easily after what you did to me just now."

You whine, trying to push his lower body forwards with your legs.

Bakugou leans his torso forwards and whispered next to your ear, "You'll have to earn it baby."

He forcefully tugs your body towards his, lifting you away from the wall, and starts walking to the male locker room. His lips latch onto the sweet spot just between your earlobe, leaving a red blotchy hickey. He licks along your jawline as you tilt your head back in pleasure. Your hands snake up to the back of his head, grasping his ash blonde hair between your fingers, maneuvering his head towards your throat. He obliged, leaving open mouthed kisses all over your neck as he sets you down on the metal bench, the coldness stinging your thighs.

Bakugou unwraps himself from you and stood up straight, towering over you. You looked up at him all dazed, mouth slightly open, your lips glistening with saliva. You leaned back on the bench, your elbows supporting your weight as you instinctively spread your legs apart.

But, to your dismay, Bakugou did not move to touch you or appreciate your arousal like he normally would. All he did was palm his bulge, looking down at you with a cocky mischievous smirk plastered on his face.

"Strip for me y/n," he commands, his voice low and husky with lust.

You gulped. Shaking, your hands reach for the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head slowly. You then reach for your shorts, bending down to pull them off.

"And look at me while you do it."

You tilt your head up, your eyes meeting his vermillion ones. Heat creeps up your cheek as you drop your short on the floor. Sure, you've been intimate with Bakugou many times and he has seen you naked before. But you've never stripped for him this way, no. Much less in a public place like this.

You unhook your bra and slides it off your shoulders. Your nipples harden as the cold air touches your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. Bakugou glanced down at your pebbled nipples and shameless licked his lips. Your hand subconsciously moves to grab your breast, appreciating the warmth of your hand but it only lasted a second as Bakugou rips your hand away.

"You're not done babygirl," he sneers, "and I don't remember saying you can touch yourself."

You bite your lips to keep the whimper from escaping, knowing that will only egg him on even more. You lift your hips and slides your soaked panties down your legs and steps out of it. You sat back down on the bench as you watch Bakugou take in every inch of your exposed skin, appreciating every curve and roll on your body.

"Open up y/n. Let me see that sweet pussy."

You parted your thighs, the inner flesh glistening with your juices and your pussy clenched at the coldness.

"So wet babygirl," Bakugou hums as he licks his lips once more, "can't wait to get fucked huh?"

You nod and parted your legs even further, hoping Bakugou will take it as an invitation to, finally, touch and please you. But he didn't, again.

"Get on your knees babygirl," he commands as he tugs his sweatpants and let them fall to the ground. His cock was pressing against the tight fabric of his boxers and you could spot the delicious thick vein that ran along his shaft.

You kneeled obediently in front of him, mouth watering with anticipation at the sight of his hard cock, as you look at him through your eyelashes. He steps towards you, his cock pressed against your face. You felt wetness on your nose bridge as you inhaled the slightly musky scent of his precum.

You palmed his cock, rubbing him through his boxers. You stretch out your tongue and pressed it to the wet spot on his boxers, tasting his precum, before bringing the fabric into your mouth and sucked it.

You played with the hem of your boxers, a cheeky grin on your face, and pulled, releasing Bakugou from his boxers. His cock sprang free and hits you on your face. Gosh, he was so big. His cock was almost the length of your face, with a good girth. This man really was blessed with everything. You wrap your hands around the base of his shaft and pumped gently. You swirl your tongue around his flushed tip, lapping at the precum that continues to ooze out of him.

"Don't tease me," he groans and fists his large hands into your hair. He pushes your head forward harshly, forcing his aching cock between your lips and into your warm wet mouth. Taken aback, you lost your balance and fell forward slightly. The tip of his cock pressed into the back of your throat as you gag around him. Your hands found stability on his muscled thighs as you dug your fingernails into them. He jerks his hips forward rapidly, fucking your face as saliva dribbles down your chin and your eyes watering.

"Fuck your mouth feels so good y/n. Fuckkk…look at you taking my cock so good. You're such a slut for my cock aren't you?"

You could only hum in response with your mouth stuffed full of his throbbing cock, pounding into you at a crazy pace. His balls slap your chin with each thrust, sending saliva dripping down your neck and chest, creating a wet and sticky mess.

"Fuckkkkkk y/n I'm gonna cum soon," Bakugou moans as he proceeds to push your head further down his cock, thrusting faster into your mouth. You reach out to squeeze his balls and fondle with them, sending a deep and loud groan echoing in the room.

"FUCKKKK," he heaves as hot thick spurts of cum coats your throat and mouth. He holds your head there for a moment as he empties his load into you, before slowly pulling out his cock, making sure his tip hits your nose.

"Don't swallow yet," Bakugou warns as he leans down and grabs your chin roughly, forcing your mouth open. He admires the mess he made, the white cum pooling at the back of your mouth, your eyes red and watery and decollete area wet with saliva. With a satisfied smirk, loosen his grip on your chin, and asked you to swallow.

You gulp his cum down, making sure to look him dead in the eye as you do so, knowing it turns him on. Despite the cold air, your body was covered in sweat and your pussy was hot and throbbing excruciatingly.

"Please Katsuki please."

"What do you want, babygirl?" He pools the saliva on your decollete into his palm and wraps it around his semi-hard cock, pumping it right in front of you, knowing EXACTLY what you want.

"Fuck me Katsuki please," you beg as you press your thighs tightly together, trying to ease the throb, "I want you in my pussy Katsuki please."

"Get your ass on the bench then."

You waste no time in climbing onto the bench, leaning backwards with your elbows supporting your weight and spreading your legs apart as part as you could. The cold air against the heat of your pussy sends a chill down your spine as you let out a soft moan.

Bakugou lifts your legs off the ground from your calf and rests them on his broad shoulders. He bent his knees, positioning his now hard cock at your throbbing entrance. He teases your clit with his tip before slapping his shaft on your pussy.

"Ready for me cock baby?"

"Uh huh," you nod eagerly.

In one smooth thrust, he enters you and fills you up completely. The sudden fullness wrecks a gasp out between your lips as your head tilts back in ecstasy. You have been waiting for this moment ever since he was teased you during lunch break.

"Fuckkkkkk," Bakugou draws out as he enters you, feeling your muscles clench around him.

He gives you a moment to adjust to his size before pounding into that pussy of yours. Your elbows gave out as your back hits the cold metal bench. The metal bench creaks under all that movement as Bakugou fucks you mercilessly, letting out all the frustration he felt from earlier.

"You feel so fucking good around my cock baby," he praises as he stops and adjusts himself, causing you to whine at the sudden halt. But before you could even fully, he is thrusting in again. This time, his tip hits against your sensitive g-spot with each movement.

"Holy shit Katsuki! Fuck! Ahhh right there baby right there fuck it feels so good."

Placing his hands firm on either side of you, he pushes you into a mating press, pounding into you and pleasuring your g-spot with each thrust. You wrap your hands around his neck and brings him in for a heated kiss, moaning shamelessly into his mouth.

"Fuck Katsuki I'm gonna…"

"Hey is this y/n's bag?" a familiar voice question from outside the locker room.

Both you and Bakugou went immediately still as panic looms over you.

"I think so but what is it doing here?" Kirishima replies as their footstep echoes in the locker room.

"Don't know maybe she just forgot," Denki says, "like how I always forget my shit too."

The footsteps got closer and with his fast reflexes, Bakugou grabs you and shoves you into one of the lockers. Thankfully, he did not make that much of a sound but it was no ninja stealth either and you pray under your breath that Kirishima and Denki won't linger and potentially catch you guys in this compromising position.

"Wait," Kaminari stops in his tracks, obviously spooked by the subtle noise you guys made, "did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"I swear I heard one of the locker doors close."

"Ohhh there's no one in here," Kirishima reassure with a yawn, "now hurry and found your bottle. I am so exhausted."

Their voices seem to linger at the entrance of the locker room and you let out a tiny sigh of relief. But this relief was short-lived when Bakugou slides his cock into you.

You let out a gasp and your hands flew to your mouth immediately. You turned your head and glared at Bakugou, sending him a warning through your eyes. Bakugou, being the jerk he is, of course, just gives you a cocky smirk, barely visible in the dim lighting and presses his chest along the length of your back. Grabbing your hips, he starts to thrust into you from behind, careful not to hit any of the metal walls.

The chatter between Kirishima and Kaminari continues but you can barely process what they were saying. Your mind was blank with pleasure as Bakugou reaches down with one of his hands and rubs your clit. A moan escapes from your lips and you bit down on your lips, Bakugou squeezing the plump flesh on your hips as a warning.

"Woah Kirishima please tell me you heard that?"

You didn't hear Kirishima's response as you felt a warm breath tickle your ear.

"Better keep that cute little voice of yours down or Shitty hair and Dunce Face are gonna find out what a slut you are," he whispers harshly into your ear.

You clamp down on your fingers, trying to mute your whines and moans as much as possible, as Bakugou increases his pace. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, muting his groans as your walls clench tightly around his cock. He pinches your clit and you let a squeak at the pain and pleasure.

For someone who just told you to be quiet, he is trying awfully hard to make you lose control. You covered your mouth with your hands, mortified that you let that sound out as Bakugou growls teasingly at you.

"Uhhhh…I think we better leave now Kirishima…" Kaminari stutters, "I found… uhhh… I found my bottle." "Yeah…let's uhm let's go."

To your utter relief, the boys left the locker room in a hurry and you finally let out the sounds of pleasure you have been painstakingly trying to hold back. The moment their footsteps could not be heard, Bakugou slams the locker door open and walks you out, his cock still buried deep in your cunt. Your legs could barely move and support and weight, and you fell forward onto the bench, hands gripping the metal hard.

"F-Fuck Katsuki!"

"Such a little slut huh? Can't even keep your little mouth shut in there. You wanted those extras to know how hard I'm fucking you, didn't you? You little slut fuckkkkk you are tight baby you feel so good…"

Placing his hand flat on the square of your back, he pushes you down as you both land on your knees, your torso flat against the metal bench. Your hard nipples rub against the cold metal, sending another wave of pleasure through your body as the coil in your pelvis tightens. Coupled with Bakugou's fingers rubbing your swollen clit and his thick cock practically bruising your g-spot, your climax was hitting you hard and fast.

"Fuckkkk 'tsuki I'm gonna ahh fuck…Katuski I'm gonna cummm."

"Fuck I feel it babygirl. You are clenching me so fucking hard shit," he cusses as he grips the soft flesh of your ass cheek with one hand, "gonna cum baby?"

"uh huhhh," you nod weakly, your mind blank with pleasure.

He leans forward, pressing his front along the curve of your back and pounds into you from behind.

"Fuck I'm close to baby."

"C-cum inside me Katsuki please."

"Fuck you want my cum inside you y/n? yeah? Fuckkk I'm cumming baby!"

With a few final thrust, the tension inside you releases. Your legs were shaking from stimulation, toes curling and back arching from your climax. Your pussy clenches tight around Bakugou's cock as he cums inside you, his thick cum filling up your cunt.

Slowly catching his breath, he slowly pulls his cock out of you and you feel his cum drips down your clit, overflowing.

"Fuck y/n," he draws out, "your pussy looks so good all stuffed with my cum."

He spreads your lips apart, admiring his handiwork as his cum, mixed with yours, continues to spill out of you. He dips his finger into your pussy, pushing out more cum, coating his finger in the mess created. He swipes up the trail of cum dripping down your clit with his finger and approaches you.

"Don't let it go to waste now babygirl."

Still catching your breath against the metal bench, he pushes his wet sticky finger into your mouth. You wrap your lips around him and suck eagerly, tasting the muskiness. When you are done, you release his finger with a pop and looked up at his satisfied face. He pulls you up towards him as he sits down, cradling your tired sweaty body in his.

"That felt so good babe," he compliments as he presses a tender kiss to your lips and brushing your hair out of your face, "come on let's get you cleaned up."

He carries you into the shower, washing away all the sweat and stickiness from your body and caresses you gently, making up for all that teasing and hard fucking and mean words. Gosh, he is secretly such a softie and you love him for it.

~~~~

After collecting all your stray clothing and getting dress, Bakugou and you walked back to your rooms together. His softness is gone as he makes fun of the way you are walking, obviously sore from all that fucking you did earlier. You glare at him and pouts, muttering under your breath that it was totally his fault which earned you a little chuckle.

As you entered the TV area, you found Kirishima and Kaminari sitting there, deep in conversation. Heat rushes to your cheeks, as you thought about how close the two of you were to being caught by them. You quickened your steps and walked towards your room, not even bothering to acknowledge them or say goodbye to Bakugou, but you were stopped in your tracks by the redhead's question.

"So…Bakugou and Y/n…" he runs his hands through his flattened hair, a sheepish look on his face as Kaminari elbows him to continue, "how long have the two of you been…you know…together?"

"W-what are you talking about Kirishima? Me and Bakugou are not-"

"We saw your belongings outside the boys' locker room and uhm we saw your clothes uhm on the floor and uhm you guys weren't exactly being quiet in there…"

"yeah especially after you thought we couldn't hear you no more," Kaminari adds under his breath, causing your face to heat up even more. You were sure you looked like a cartoon tomato right now.

"so…if you guys aren't dating then…?"

With a huff, Bakugou walks towards you and grabs your fidgeting hands, "Fine. Me and y/n are dating and we were totally fucking in the locker room and if you two shitty extras even think about muttering a word about this to others, I will blast you to the fucking space ya hear me?!"

He didn't even bother waiting for their replies before dragging you to his room and slamming the door shut.

Your secret is out. Not to the whole class but out nonetheless. You stood there, a little shocked from that confession with too much information, as you watch Bakugou nonchalantly strip out of his clothes and into his sleepwear.

"Katsuki!" you shriek as you slap him on his arm.

"What?!"

"I thought it was supposed to be a secret?! AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO STRAIGHT UP TELL THEM WE WERE FUCKING IN THE LOCKER ROOM oh my gosh I'm gonna die of embarrassment! How am I supposed to face them tomorrow?!"

"Stop being so dramatic," he pinches your cheeks and walks to his bed, "There's no point trying to deny or hide it from them anyways. Besides, it's not like the whole class knows."

He lies down and makes himself comfortable before looking at you, a glint in his eyes and a smirk on his face, "so our game can still continue baby, don't worry."

He pats the empty spot beside him, asking you to join. You rolled your eyes. "That's not what I'm worried about," you said as you tuck yourself into him. "In fact, I would like the game to very much end here."

"Nahh not happening babygirl."

Silence fills the room as both of you starts drifting off to sleep, minds tired and muscles exhausted. You felt your eyes get heavy until a question pops into your mind,

"Katsuki?"

"Hmmm?"

"Does that make you the loser since you exposed our secret?"

[mewberii]

Streamer!Scaramouche [2]

thanks for all the support in the first part! i wrote a second part where scaramouche plays genshin + the reader comes in (i tried to make it as gender neutral as possible, so let me know if there’s something off!). you’re a close friend of scaramouche and also a voice actor!

i had been planning this since i wrote the first part, but because i was busy and uninspired i couldn’t finish it. but here it is and it’s actually pretty long (over 5k words...)! i hope you guys will like this!! obviously he’s a little nicer than he is in game but,,, for the sake of the plot + it being a modern au, it had to be done sjnfdskjf

He was selected to play the beta for genshin because of his popularity and tbh he really wanted to play it

The game hadn’t really caught his eye all that much when he first heard about it but he saw how everyone online went crazy over it (plus other streamers who also were selected to play it in early access kept talking about it) and he became more curious to know what it would be like and if it’d live to everyone’s expectations

However he couldn’t really play it until it was officially released because he had a very busy schedule, and when he saw other streams of people playing it he was,,, lowkey jealous because it did look fun

When it was finally released and the game finished downloading and installing, he went live right away

And since so many people were looking forward to seeing him play plus the game was getting so popular so fast, that stream of when he first played hit his biggest milestone of live viewers ever

ANYWAYS skip forward to further into the game

when it comes to the gacha,,,

we’ve established that this boy is loaded. he won’t hesitate to throw some big amounts of money at the game to get every single character and weapon he wants and get their constellations to the max

i feel like he’d make little bets (and it works as a way to thank the chat for the support) like “if i get (insert newest character) in the first 50 pulls, i will gift 50 subs”

he’d be SOOOOOOO LUCKY it’d make everyone who doesn’t play think that it must be very easy to get the 5 stars or that the drop rate must be very high,,,

so in the end he’d have to gift the subs and it’d be funny to see the chat go absolutely crazy because everyone is commenting at the same time trying to see if they got lucky too and got the sub

but the chat goes so fast that they can’t even see their own comment after they send it sNDJGDJSK 

he’d end up turning subs mode on for a while because it goes crazy

and that’s when he’d see people going “I GOT THE SUB-” all excited and he can’t help but chuckle and congratulate them for being one of the lucky ones

probably another game he can use to play with some subs once in a while! they could play co-op and when he’s a very high level he’d go to the worlds of some of his subs with lower level to help them with whatever they need

SO, LITTLE SKIP HERE

this is where i want the reader to slide into the picture

you’d be a voice actor, and also you have been a friend of his for a very long time

he met you even before he started streaming and you were always so supportive of him, as he was of every and each of your dreams

in fact, he would have invited you over more than once to stream with him

people don’t say anything bc they’re afraid of scaramouche banning them (it’s happened before) + they understand it can be disrespectful... but…

some people lowkey ship you two a little bit,,,,,, you didn’t hear it from me. scaramouche don’t ban me----

so one day he’s making another livestream playing genshin (sponsored by mihoyo to promote the newest update and event) and they’re going to release a new character 

AND he has told everyone that you are the voice actor of the new character, who will be introduced in the event and is also getting their own banner

so everyone is very curious of what they’ll be like, if scaramouche will try to get them (obviously he will, he has every single character…. the amount of money he has put into the game…. just thinking of it gives me the heebie-jeebies) 

could he even,,, main them,,,,

spoiler: he won’t because he’ll stay honest till the end (and no hard feelings) but there are other characters that he has built up to the max just like them and still work better with the way he plays but he’ll still find a chance to use them often

he didn’t know anything of what the character you voiced would be like because you wanted to keep it a surprise and he knew his audience would enjoy seeing his first reactions

I think the character you voice in the game would have the role that Scaramouche has in the actual game, and their design would be fairly similar (maybe similar color palette) to the design fans made for him as a genshin character (the one i mentioned that he uses for popup notifs of subscriptions and all!)

needless to say he’d absolutely love their personality and the charisma you showed in their lines

of course when he finally gets them he shows everything about them including all their voice lines and he compliments y/n’s voice acting… that was the first time people suspected that....

mayhaps… scaramouche….

has feelings for you....

it’s in the soft gaze in his eyes,,, the gentle smile on his lips,,, his soft voice when saying “I think this one is my favorite line of theirs”

and just how BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL his laugh sounds when someone comments he should invite you and ask you to do that voiceline live for him and everyone else

he’d jokingly reach for his phone and be like “should i call them? i could” 

(but he wouldn’t because he doesn’t want to disturb you, you may be busy, considering you still hadn’t replied to the messages he sent to you before he started the stream a few hours ago)

if anyone dares be mean to you saying you got the chance to voice act for genshin just bc of scaramouche

or implies that he did something to get you there he’ll get quite mad even tho he won’t speak up about it (he might if enough people say it) 

people can see something shift in his gaze,,,, and he bans them permanently right away

it’d be kinda funny when he does those “reading unban requests” streams and he goes past immediately rejecting people who said those kind of stuff, not even reading the apologies JSNKJFNDSJKGNSDK

some people say he’s too strict about it but literally his stream his rules. people who don’t like him should just not watch him

and people who like him should NOT speak badly about you or doubt your talent and effort, which is what brought you that opportunity in the first place

one day he’d be streaming playing the game, he had been using your character and gathering materials to get their last ascension

and at one point he’d grab his phone and look at the screen for a second before putting it back down and saying he had planned something else for tonight besides playing genshin for a while

then, the doorbell would ring (before he could even close the game-) and it’d be heard from his setup room so people in the chat heard it and they’re all like???

it’s definitely not takeout because scaramouche never orders takeout when he’s on his own, he usually cooks for himself and just orders it when he’s with friends and they all feel like eating something different

actually, offtopic, but i have a feeling he’d be very responsible when it comes to food and like he’d cook himself proper meals all perfectly balanced and all- he could afford having someone cook for him but his house = his privacy and personal space so he’d rather do it himself

it’s like, past 10pm, so no way it would be a package or mail at that time

and then he says “we have a visitor tonight”

and then the chat goes crazy saying “CHILDE” “HARBINGERS” but mostly “Y/N!??!?/PLEASE LET IT BE Y/N”

AND IT WAS YOU!!!!

and omg you brought takeout--------

it had been a while since they had seen you in scaramouche’s stream and you didn’t have your own channel (even though there were many people who encouraged you to open one)

SO everyone was very excited

i feel like scaramouche wouldn’t be the biggest fan of eating on camera so you guys would put the food away so that you can eat it later on your own without an audience

and you two would just spend a while talking to the chat, watching videos

AND reviewing fanart and fanmade content together!! it’d be so cute especially fanarts of the two of you together, little animatics or comics of funny clips or memes from his streams of you two,,,

someone made a little felt plushie of the genshin character you voiced and the way you COOED because it was SO cute

only those who were truly paying attention were able to notice the soft smile on scaramouche’s lips and the way he looked at you as you gushed over how cute the little plushie is and how talented the person who made it is!!

also you’d tell him you saw signora make a stream where she talked to some of her fans on discord individually to give them advice on their life/problems (nothing too serious) and it was very funny and you wanted to do that with him someday

and he’s like “that… could be a huge mess. people could say some crazy stuff” and you’re like “NO but i talked to her about it and she said she got her mods to talk to them first and approve them before they moved them up to the channel where she was to talk to her”

and he’s like “still…….. what if people lie and then when they get to talk to us they say something-”

and you’re like “BOY!!!! DO YOU NOT TRUST YOUR FANS *GASP*” and everyone in the chat is also going “GASP” “HE DOESN’T TRUST US…” “IS THIS YOUR IDOL…..?” “SAY SORRY” (all good fun, obviously he’d love to talk to everyone if he could make sure there won’t be anything disrespectful said)

SO!!!!! you two say you’ll plan to do something like that soon and everyone is very excited, they can already tell it’ll be both super cute and hilarious

before he ends the stream, you two watch some videos together

some are about some upcoming videogames and he talks about them and what he knows and explaining things to you... he is.. so knowledgeable…

the way you look at him as he goes into a little rant about it… cinematic parallels with the way he looked at you before

ONCE AGAIN, people aren’t blind. they notice. but they keep it to themselves bc scary scara (the way i had to resist overusing this one joke with his name-)

so the stream ends and you two walk out of the setup room to go to his living room and eat the takeout you brought while watching something on tv

he apologises because the food is cold now, but you brush it off saying it’s ok, you had missed being on his streams and you two can just heat up the food again

he doesn’t look at you in the eyes as he mutters that you know you can join his streams whenever, and instead just says it as he makes his way to the kitchen to heat the food

you join him in the kitchen soon after and tell him you also bought something for dessert and put it in the fridge already before

and honestly he didn’t know how much he wanted to eat that dessert until it was in his fridge, so he can’t stop himself from sighing and saying “god, i love you”

there’s silence for a second, right as the microwave beeps as it finished heating the food

it feels eternal to him, but you immediately started laughing and said jokingly “of course you do! you’re welcome!” 

he’s happy you took it as a joke because that’s not how he planned to confess (he didn’t plan to confess anytime soon in the first place) but at the same time ?? he’s lowkey offended inside because? you took it as a joke?? is it so unrealistic that you wouldn’t even think that he meant it romantically?

it’s at that moment that he realises that if he didn’t want to confess before, now he does.

he wouldn’t want anyone to know about how he let that slip because he’s sure no one in you two’s friend group even knows he likes you

but you,,, actually,,,,, were actually caught off guard too because scaramouche wasn’t precisely one for words of affection and he showed his care for everyone with his actions

in fact, you had never heard him say those words before but well- it was kinda nice- if only he meant it as you feel it- but he couldn’t, right? who’d confess their feelings so casually while looking at a dessert in the fridge with desire-------

that night, it gets pretty late and to be honest he’s a little too tired to drive you home as he usually would, so he asks if you’d like to sleep over

it wouldn’t be your first time doing so, not even the first time you stayed unplanned, and he had a couple guest rooms that you could use so you accepted

also, staying for longer meant you could keep watching some more of that series with him without worrying about it getting late

or,,,

“actually” you said in a low voice, almost a whisper, since it was getting late and you two had been in complete silence while watching the series “i lowkey still wanted to stream some more”

he scoffs but then lets out a short chuckle, replying in the same volume

“it’s past 2am, who’s going to watch me stream now?”

“i would” have mercy for his poor heart- “but i’d be the streamer too this time so it doesn’t count” 

“what even would we do”

“can we play that co-op game you played with childe? it was so much fun” 

had you not brought it up, he wouldn’t have offered that ever because? if he had recently played it with childe he didn’t want to stream it again and make it feel repetitive for his audience 

(jokes on him because when genshin came out they put up with it being the only thing he streamed for over a week. they’d rewatch any game if it’s you two playing it)

but to be honest, he didn’t really want to stream anymore that day and just wanted to be with you, just you and no one else

he got up from the couch and walked towards the hallway, making you look up to him in confusion for a second, but then started getting excited knowing this meant he was going to let you play it with him

“i don’t really feel like streaming anymore today, but we can still play it. let’s go”

the next day, you two wake up around the same time and make breakfast together

scaramouche i feel is not very talkative in the mornings 

in fact, i feel like he’s just not the most talkative in general. he’s more the type to listen, but it’s different during his streams because he’s doing what he loves and talking about what he loves

and when it comes to you and he talks more it’s because he’s talking to who he loves----

before you’re going to leave and you’re standing at the door about to say goodbye to him, he suddenly speaks up before you can

“do you want to go somewhere tomorrow?”

you raise your eyebrows in curiosity from the sudden request, but then smile at him and nod

“yeah sure! what do you have in min-”

���it’s a date” he said, interrupting you, which was weird enough of him (since he would never interrupt you), but his words were even weirder-

“h-huh?” you felt the heat rising to your cheeks, and scaramouche just repeated his words

on the outside, he looked so casual and just, confident- bUT INSIDE he was actually panicking a little bit 

but just a little bit.

After a moment, you smiled at him again, this time somewhat more shily but also excited for your date!

“I look forward to it”

Just with that, you two knew you had made the first step

You weren’t just friends anymore

You two had hung out on your own many times before, in fact and as it was mentioned before, you two had even slept over at his house or yours many times before

but it had all always been purely platonic, and you guys had never even questioned that aspect of it even after realising you had romantic feelings for each other

he’d spend the rest of the day thinking of what you could do the next day, as if he hadn’t been brainstorming for ideas all night either

i feel like he hasn’t gone in many (if not any--) dates before

solely because he has never been interested in romance plus he had never liked someone or at least, not as much as he liked you

and even when he found out he felt something for you, he just always told himself he was okay with how things were, because he’d never experienced anything beyond friendship and didn’t feel the need to try and maybe ruin the friendship

SO he didn’t have many ideas of what a good date could be

he definitely didn’t want a cliché corny date, but he really didn’t have any idea of what was good enough for a date

(and if for future dates you want something he’d consider a “”cliché corny date”” he’d do it for you and actually enjoy it)

the last thing he wanted was to have to ask you what you could do for your date

1- because he didn’t want to show you any side of him that didn’t look like he always has everything under control and he’s always composed (as if you wouldn’t want to see every side of him, even his most vulnerable sides- you’d have to work on that with him when you two become official)

2- he… kind of wanted to surprise you…..

but it really got to the point where he really didn’t know what you’d like the most (or what he’d like the most too) and what he wanted most over anything else is to not disappoint you in you two’s first date

SO he finally texted you asking if there was anything special you wanted to do (and therefore indirectly admitting he……….. just really wanted to ask you out. so much he did it without thinking of what he’d do if you said yes--)

you didn’t seem to mind, and in fact you were happy he asked for your opinion 

overall, scaramouche was very independent so he wasn’t one to ask others for advice, opinions or anything, much less for help regarding anything

“how long has it been since we last went to the arcade? we could go there! i heard from childe that they added new games!”

and he’s like !?!?!?? THAT…. is…….. the perfect idea

“that actually sounds perfect” he admitted, and the message brought a big smile to your face 

“just don’t get mad at me when you lose at all of them” he sent right after, teasing you, and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh out loud

“the last time i won in your favorite game” you reminded him, and even after he read your message, he took a little bit to reply

(he needed a second to put the pieces of his pride together SJNFKJDS)

“don’t get used to it, it won’t happen again”

“we will see about that” the more you two joked like this, the more excited you got thinking about tomorrow

scaramouche was sure now that it’d be a great first date that you’d both remember forever

the next day, it was almost the time for the date and scaramouche was going to pick you up at your house

i feel like scaramouche would be very fashionable and even in his style he doesn’t try to hide that he’s loaded…

not that he cares about buying cheap clothes, literally he’d say if he likes it and it’s good (aka it’s not cheap because it’s made of something that won’t make it last longer than 3 weeks) he’ll get it

but it just so happens that many times… the clothes he likes most are from famous brands…

AND THIS DAY!!!!!! he’s putting together one of his favorite outfits because it’s a special day

it almost hurts me just how nonchalant he’d look on the outside, making it a little hard to know exactly just how much this date meant to him (because as i said he’s not one to be very vocal about his feelings or even his thoughts)

BUT i trust that you… since you know him well…. can see past all that and you know that this is not just anything casual to him. this is special.

STILL!!!! he’d try his best to not let the blush rise to his cheeks and show, as well as to not let his voice shake when he complimented that you looked very good

ANYWAYS i think i think Scaramouche wouldn’t be one for big pda

the most he’d do where anyone can see is hold your hand or put his arm around your waist

WHICH IS WHY he’d try to be all smooth (and he would manage) reaching for your hand and lacing his fingers with yours

he wouldn’t make eye contact because then he’s sure it’ll show on his face that he’s getting somewhat flustered, but he’d still ask if you’re okay with it, to which you said yes

the area where the arcade was is always somewhat crowded so when you two were getting there, scaramouche would tighten the grip on your hand a little bit to make sure you wouldn’t let go and you’d be pulled apart by people trying to walk past however they can

you know that if you two got serious about your relationship, he would want to be the first person to share the news with his fans

BUT since he was so popular now, you two lived in a pretty big city and now were at a popular area (+ scaramouche wouldn’t be the type to try and hide his identity because he’s never had people make a fuss when they recognise him)

you were a little worried someone would see you two and maybe take a picture and post it online and it’d go viral before he can admit it himself

because of that, you end up throwing back to him the question he had asked when he held your hand 

“are you sure this is okay?”

your question confused him because he didn’t know what you mean, so he finally looked you in the eyes and waited for you to explain further

“it’s just- what if somebody sees us and recognises you?”

he looked away from you and back at where he was going, taking a few seconds to answer before he just shrugged

“i don’t care”

you softly let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you waited for him to say something, and almost missed the way he whispered

“as long as it doesn’t affect you”

for someone who seemed and actually tried to seem to self-sufficient, who appreciated his friends but was also okay on his own because he was absolutely comfortable with himself, he was actually…

more selfless than people would ever know, especially when it came to you

you two would have SO much fun in the arcade, trying every single game many times

this time though, scaramouche won in his favorite game so he lived up to his words

you two won so many tickets you literally didn’t even know what to do with them once you got the couple prizes you were interested in

you bumped into a couple fans of his, so you talked for a while

once again, you were met with suggestions of opening your own streaming channel, and even scaramouche said “i’ve told them that many times too, but they always say they think their streams won’t be fun enough”

and the fans are like “NO!! literally everyone thinks you’re super nice and fun!! of course you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but we’d love it!!”

one of the fans (exaggerating a little as a joke) said “i’ll be your number 1 fan i swear” and the three of you laughed, except scaramouche who just scoffed and smirked 

“i am ALREADY their number one fan. but good try” <- scaramouche in his head. say it outloud u coward.

but at the same time it was a joke scaramouche chill pretty much everyone knows you’re their number one fan……. even though you think you’re so smooth………. they just don’t say anything 

they were very nice and fun to talk to and you knew scaramouche and you didn’t really want anything else from the prizes, so you offered you two’s tickets to them

“we don’t really need these anymore so maybe you’ll have more use for them!!”

they got SO excited, the way their eyes lit up :( scaramouche is convinced you’re an angel but he’s also very happy to see how joyful his fans got because those were more than enough for the prize they really wanted-

so after that cute little interaction and having used up your energy for competition, you two leave and think of buying some ice cream or a milkshake or something to end the date nicely and to enjoy while you walk back home

the arcade was not exactly very close to where you two lived (it was far from your house, but even farther from his-) so he asked if you were okay with walking back or if you two should get an uber or something, to which you said you were okay

walking back with him meant!! a little more time you could spend with him

and he was happy you said that because he was feeling the same way and still didn’t want the day to end

we’ll see more about the kind of things he likes and dislikes if he’s released as a playing character BUT FOR NOW i really get this vibe that he’d LOVE boba tea

i even think he’d?? enjoy tea in general??? classy boy…

SO you two would end up going to get some boba 

it was very touching how, when reading the flavors they had that day, he suddenly and casually went “oh, they have your favorite” and you looked at the one he was pointing at and !!! indeed it was your favorite!!!!!!!

he remembers this kind of details very well

you take the chance to talk some more as you’re walking home

scaramouche asks about your job with voice acting and you tell him that you actually have been recording some new lines for your genshin character lately because in the next update there’ll be an event involving them

he’s looking forward to it but he teases you a little asking if it’s okay for you to spoil him with such information

but it’s okay because it’s not like he’d tell anyone, especially knowing it could get you in trouble

when he drops you off at your house, he has a hard time saying goodbye

literally you’re standing at your door and he’s in front of you, a couple steps away, looking away from you

you don’t say goodbye either, mainly because you know scaramouche is working the courage to say something, and you can also sort of guess what he wants to say

you think of saying it first, but then think that it would make scaramouche proud to be honest about his feelings and confess first

“i’ve liked you for a long time”

you can’t help the smile that makes its way onto your face, unconsciously reaching a hand up to slightly cover it

“i feel the same way” you replied to him in a soft voice

he took a deep breath and exhaled it softly, finally lifting up his gaze and making eye contact with you

it was already dark outside, so you couldn’t appreciate the faint rosy blush on his cheeks well

“can i kiss you?”

your eyes widened for a second, not expecting him to ask and if anything, thinking he’d just step forward and do it

so you were a little embarrassed and caught off-guard to reply properly, so you just nodded and put your hand down as he took the last couple steps and his face was right in front of yours

he’d cup your cheek in one of his hands, feeling the warmth of your skin

you closed your eyes, and he looked at you for a second longer before he finally leaned in and closed the short distance that separated your lips

at that moment you both knew that you had been missing on so much more when you two just settled and were content with your friendship

but!! that was about to change now, so it was all worth it

after that, scaramouche would make clear that this would be the first day of your relationship!! and even if he didn’t say it with words, you could just feel his happiness!!

so!! after that, because of work you two got a little busy the next couple months so dates weren’t very frequent 

or at least, they weren’t dates like the one you first had

but still whenever you two were free he’d go over to your house, or you’d come over to his to play, stream together, or literally just spend time together doing anything

he wouldn’t let people know you two had started dating straight away (if anything, only his other streamer friends -aka you two’s friends in common- knew)

but the day he said it, he wanted you to be there

SO one day you two were streaming and you were currently reacting to one fanart of you two together

so he looked at you and you made eye contact and it was like you two spoke with your eyes like

“do we tell them now”

“let’s tell them.”

so scaramouche would clear his throat and without closing the fanart, he’d say he has something he wanted to announce

everyone was excited thinking it’d be some new project, maybe involving you

maybe some merch??? and the fanarts had reminded him of it???????

BUT THEN he straightforwardly said

“y/n and i are dating”

and everyone goes aBSOLUTELY CRAZY

amidst the chaos, you two catch a comment saying “will you unban the people who shipped you two” and you laugh

and you look at each other like “did you read that one?” “yeah”

and scaramouche is like “yeah, i guess i will have to unban some people”

and when some get unbanned they’re like “fREEDOM!!!!”

and jokingly they’re all like “APOLOGISE!!!!!!!! SAY SORRY!!!” so he just laughs and you join them being like “!!! apologise!!! you banned them for it and!! look at you now!!”

so he ends up trying to hold in another laugh as he mutters a halfassed ‘sorry’ and everyone starts commenting claps and hearts and celebrating that he apologised. now justice has been made.

the rest of that stream suddenly feels livelier and brighter!! you two are laughing a lot and so is everyone in the chat!! 

and also the new genshin event would’ve already just been released that same day so you can talk about some of your experiences with recording or what you thought of it

and scaramouche would let you play it yourself!! (he still hadn’t played it) and it was also the first time you played genshin live!! you’d show people the characters you have and everything and tell them some anecdotes

people would be SHOCKED because you!? don’t have the character you voiced!? D:

and you’re like “yeah… i pulled for them and used up all my primogems and… didn’t get them”

and your banner is back because of the event, so scaramouche won’t let this slide!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL GET YOUR CHARACTER.

your luck is terrible compared to his so at one point you’ll literally feel bad for how much he’s spending for you to get it

but he doesn’t mind at all and everyone is having fun so!!

and once you finally get them you’re sO HAPPY and everyone in the chat is celebrating

and you think it’s over but scaramouche is like ???? what are you doing?? open the wish page again. you’re going to get them c6.

and you’re like oh my gOD PLEASE NO DON’T SPEND MORE MONEY ON ME FOR THIS

but he won’t listen and he’ll do it

so!!! he’ll always do his best to be the best boyfriend he can be for you!! so you better give him your heart!!!!

[bookofmirth]

I saw your recent response to an anon where you mentioned the drama that occurred the other day based around bookprofessor’s post. Obviously you don’t have to respond to this or publish it if you do not wish but I just wanted to bring up that while it is important to focus on the real life issues at hand, the OP was hypocritical in her post which is why people were getting upset. She was preaching against ableism while simultaneously flaunting her IQ and degree which is a form of ableism. She was speaking out against racism while ending her post using the racial slur “cracker” when talking about the possibly Caucasian Twitter elriels.

Obviously she had some important points but it was completely overshadowed by her participation in the hate speech and prejudice that she was speaking out against.

This does not in any way justify the nasty messages she received but on the same hand, I do not blame anyone that called her out for her hypocrisy. I hope you can understand why her post was so negatively received and how flawed it was. My hope is that one day everyone can just ignore the negativity, report those who are being racist/prejudiced in any way, and block those who are just being loud and who you don’t wish to see content from. But unfortunately I do not see that happening any time soon.

There are a few things I want to address in this because I think it's a good moment for the fandom to step back and reflect on how we treat one another, how we react to such issues, and how we behave moving forward.

First off, thanks for explaining your point of view without being antagonistic. I do think that everyone's emotional reactions to the post were valid. I do NOT think their responses, in terms of words and actions, were valid. Now before I move forward, I want to clarify that when I use the word "you", I am referring to anyone who may have had the response I am describing - not you personally, anon. Also please don’t freak out about how long this is, as a majority of it is a response to the fandom in general, not you in particular.

What was - and wasn’t - said in the original post

In this post, there were completely valid criticisms of the way that people in this fandom behave, and it wasn’t “generalizing” a certain group, it was literal, actual proof of things that had been said, by multiple people. I’m not going to get too into what Alyssa argued because her critiques of those tweets was flawless. The original post had very valid criticisms of what was happening on Twitter. Alyssa exposed the actually racist, homophobic, and imperialistic underpinnings of those tweets.

However, a lot of people are stuck on the bits before and after those critiques. @bookprofessor apologized for different aspects of her post in a few different asks. There were perhaps better ways that some of those things could have been phrased, some things that could have been left out. And she apologized. People can accept that apology or not but we can’t act like it didn’t happen. Like she didn’t reflect and learn to do better.

However, the people she was calling out have not done the same thing, and if anything, comments that focus more on Alyssa’s tone than why she wrote the post in the first place lets those people off the hook.

On cracker - Using the word "cracker" is not racist in the same way that using racial slurs against POC is. Is it prejudiced? Yes. But you cannot say that it is the same thing when that is demonstrably untrue, given centuries of oppressive history. No one has been oppressed for being white. Those are not the same. Reverse racism is not a thing because a white person punching down on POC is NOT AT ALL the same thing as a POC punching up at white people. The actions look the same, but the impact is so unequal it’s not even funny.

Racism is a systemic, institutionalized problem. It is not defined by individual actions, though those actions can either support or challenge racism. When someone calls a white person a cracker, there isn’t centuries of oppression giving power to and reinforcing that statement. That is not a “gotcha” moment.

Saying “I have x IQ” or “I have X degrees” is not ableist. I’m sorry to whoever told you it was ableist (again, not you specifically anon but people who had read the “aw shucks guys” vagueblogs about it), but it’s not. Those are facts. I have no idea what my IQ is, but I have five degrees from institutions of higher education. Me saying that is in no way ableist. 

Often, people mention those things to be elitist, yes. Sometimes, they can be used to say “hey I know more about this than you”. They can be used in a way that tries to make themselves feel superior. I suspect that this is the impression that a lot of people got of the post. However, there is a fine line between saying “hey that’s elitist” and professing anti intellectualism. Which is perhaps a side issue so I’ll let that go for now.

Another reason that people mention their degrees or qualifications is to establish their background knowledge and credibility. If I were to say “hey y’all I have two MA degrees” (which is true) I am not being ableist! It is a fact! It is factual! And I worked my ass off for those, I will be in student loan debt until I die for those, I have every right to mention them if I want to, and often I do so in order to establish my credibility, to explain the position I am coming from. And my prior knowledge of these topics is relevant when we are talking about literature since that’s what my degrees were on - literature and linguistics. That is why Alyssa mentioned her background, though she did pair it with comments about other people, for which she has apologized.

My final point about this is that I 1000% understand feeling insecure or less than because of educational attainment. I dropped out of high school. I had a complex about that for a long, long time. But I also know that if I took offense at someone else saying they had a PhD, then that offense is about me, not them. Someone else’s inferiority complex is not reason for people to pretend to be less than they are.

If those two comments are what overshadowed the bigger, more important issue for a lot of the readers of that post, then y’all allowed them to overshadow those more important issues. I am 99% sure that someone right now is reading this and thinking “but Leslie, it was the way that she said it!” Boy have I got some news for you!

How we react

This next section is not specific to this ask; instead, it is a discussion of how the fandom responded. If it were only one person who had said “but her tone” then I wouldn’t need to make this point. The fact that multiple people are exhibiting the behavior explained below is what makes this a cultural problem within the acotar fandom.

The main argument I saw on the post itself, and indeed any time I see people bring up how nasty Twitter can be, is that “it was a joke” and “that’s how stan Twitter works”.

No.

Those responses were quite useful for this post, though! So buckle up everyone, because I am going to talk about gaslighting, racism, respectability politics, and tone policing. While I understand that some people might have taken personal offense to what was said, there is a much bigger issue at stake that has nothing to do with individual feelings, and everything to do with ensuring that POC stay silenced and white supremacy is upheld. 

Back to the “but it’s a joke” thing. Thanks for gaslighting! Great example of that, person I’m not going to tag! Gaslighting is when you make someone question their experiences, when you try to make them think “wait, did I really feel that way? Is my feeling about that valid? Do I need to re-evaluate my response to this?? Am I blowing this out of proportion???” And saying “it’s just a joke” is a perfect way to do that. Did I say something accidentally sexist? It’s just a joke, nbd! Now you’re the problem, because you didn’t understand my joke and laugh!!! 

Saying “it’s a joke” or “oh they are old/young/ignorant, they will learn” is not a good response to... anything. It takes the responsibility off the people who are doing the harm, and putting it onto the people who were hurt. And in this case, anyone who read those tweets and found them harmful (which should be everyone?) is completely valid. You aren’t lesser for being angry or emotional or for seeing a problem where other people saw a joke. The people who see those things as acceptable jokes are the ones in the wrong.

This is a tactic that is used against women all the time. Any time a woman is sexually harassed at work or online, for example, and she gets upset about it, and someone chimes in with “oh they weren’t serious, can’t you take a joke?” So you can imagine what this is like for women of color.

It is a very, very common tactic for people of color to be silenced via tone policing and respectability politics. Tone policing and respectability politics are very closely related, especially in this context. The idea is that if Alyssa had just written that post in just the right way, it would have been more palatable to white people, and therefore okay to write. The idea that if she had tried to be “understanding” or “see it from their perspective” or understand that it’s “just a joke” are all ways to silence and de-legitimize any accurate, valid criticisms that were made of those tweets. It effectively re-routes the conversation away from the real issues, and to the person trying to bring them up. It’s essentially an ad hominem attack in disguise. 

We see respectability politics in media when people of color who act or dress or speak like white people are afforded more respect. Or any time that a person of color is pulled over and people say, “well if they had just done what the police officer asked...” There is a pervasive idea that if people just “act” properly, aka if you act white, then the police won’t feel antagonized and try to kill arrest you. If we are nice enough, meek enough, smile enough, etc. then we will be accepted.

When we tone police, we refuse to allow marginalized people the right to be angry. We say that "hey, we can only have this discussion if you leave emotion, which you rightfully feel, at the door, and we can only continue this discussion if you behave in a way that makes me feel comfortable." But guess what? It isn’t about you! These discussions are often highly uncomfortable. There is no nice way to tell someone they are being racist. And yet somehow, that is the ever-moving goalpost. It seems reasonable, right? “Just be civil, be nice, don’t insult each other!” And there is that. But those criteria change constantly, to the point where anyone (white) at any time can say “WHOA WHOA THIS IS MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE???” Then we find ourselves at zero, and suddenly the focus of attention has shifted away from the actual problem.

Before we go further, I want to say this: people have a right to be angry. They do not need to make their anger palatable or tasteful for the consumption of others (read: white people). 

We saw this last summer, and I’m not sure how the message didn’t get across. But people are rightfully angry about racism. They are angry about the murder of people of color by police, they are angry about lack of quality education, or clean water, of centuries of oppression that have led to this very moment when all of that ceases to matter because a white woman’s feelings got hurt one time. 

And that is what pisses me off so much. There is no way in this world that we could criticize tweets like those that everyone would agree with, and that everyone would “approve” of, that would be “nice” enough and yet still be impactful and make the authors of those tweets understand the gravity of what they have done. 

The least we can do is allow one another to express our anger, our outrage, because it’s highly likely that those people know exactly what the fuck they are doing, and they do not fucking care. By criticizing a woman of color for the way in which she chose to engage with this topic, we are avoiding the issue and letting the people in those tweets off the hook. 

There were many responses to that post that were positive, that agreed with Alyssa. There are a ton of people who disagree with those tweets, who find them disgusting, who understand exactly how and why they are problematic. That should be what we are talking about. Getting to the core of the argument, on that post or any about racism or other problematic behavior in fandom, requires getting past our own egos. It requires us to be able to step back, say “hm this thing is frustrating but there is a bigger picture here”. It’s not easy, and I recognize that. 

The fact that it is a common tactic though? To say “hey this hurt me personally and so I’m going to ignore any valid points you made?” That feeds directly into centuries of white supremacy because it, once again, silences POC and makes them try to play a losing game. And they will always lose, because no matter how hard they try to play the white game, the goalposts are constantly shifting. So you know what? Fuck the game, and fuck respectability politics, and fuck tone policing and “uwu be nice guys” because when it comes to things like racism and sexism, I don’t expect the people who deserve to be criticized to be nice. In fact, trying to be nice only serves to fuck POC over in the end.

Indeed, in response to that post, certain blogs have taken the opportunity to position themselves as “the nice ones” or “the ones who would never” or “uwu let’s be nice guys” while completely ignoring the fact that a woman of color was attacked for calling out racism. And yes - that was the point of her post. People getting hung up on mentions of her degree are (intentionally or not, it doesn’t matter) completely obfuscating the fact that that is not what her post was about, which was to call out disgusting behavior. idk how many words the post actually was, but essentially, people are focusing on 5% of it to the detriment of the 95% that was actually really important shit. These types of vagueblog posts about the issue fall into exactly what I am talking about - these are people who have decided to look at this issue, see how Alyssa (and anyone else who dares speak up) has approached it, and intentionally try to act like they are “better” because they can be “rational” and “kind”. Newsflash, if you don’t have something to be angry about, then being “nice” about racism isn’t that much of a flex. If it didn’t bother you, then congratulations. That doesn’t make you better than people it did bother. You just got lucky this time, and decided to use that to your advantage to look like the good guy.

I am not saying that all calls for peace are doing this. Obviously it’s what we all want. This is the worst I have seen this fandom in the 4+ years I’ve been here. But we cannot have that by ignoring the real problems and pretending that if we are all just nice to each other, then we will solve racism and sexism and all bullying in the fandom will stop. 

So combining all of this - the gaslighting, the tone policing, and what do you get? You get a fandom that refuses to actually engage critically with its own problems and take accountability for them. You get a fandom that decides that it’s easier to be distracted by this one mean comment over here than it is to engage in the fact that you know what, the culture in this fandom has actually turned incredibly disgusting and a lot of people are just okay with it. You’ve got a fandom that is using the tools of white supremacy to avoid the discussions that should actually be taking place. Maybe people don’t realize that that’s what they are doing. But if someone still thinks that after reading this post, then godspeed my friend, I hope you enjoy Twitter.

Okay so my last thing I want to say is that I didn’t come to all of this knowledge fresh from the womb. I do a lot of work, in my personal life and my professional life, to be better. So here is a list of books that I have found particularly helpful:

How to Be An Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

Stamped From the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America also by Ibram X. Kendi

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo (side note, I was kinda meh about this one but the chapter “White Women’s Tears” is particularly helpful)

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment by Patricia Hill Collins

I’m not going to talk specifically about Alyssa’s post anymore, but if anyone wants to continue talking about these broader issues going on in the fandom, I am game. (I really should be grading papers though, so it might take a bit.)

[leviiattacks]

heyyy there, saw your requests are open. and i'm wondering maybe you could do a timeskip where everything is done and levi finally opened his tea shop. then there he met reader, and he treats them differently from other customers. thank you, hope you're having a good day.

author note :: this was kinda rushed as is most of what i post. the reader is a writer just bc i thought it would be cute and also ISTG. i wrote this entire thing thinking leviolas was such a cool name for a tea shop then googled it and saw it’s also the name of a spider so... ++ btw i have not yet double checked or proofread this because i wrote it at 2am but yeah it’s definitely not great :-) word count :: 2.4k??? somehow???

you’re sweet like honey when you first order from leviolas. you’re the same when you ask the owner for extra napkins and you remain exactly the same when you return with the intention to stick around for a writing session with a black tea by your side

something about you is attractive. that’s what levi thinks of you when you first walk into leviolas

you’re just incredibly wholesome poking your head around looking at all of the handmade pastries and confectioneries in admiration

you think the homely decor is cute and reminiscent of cottages in the countryside, the view outside the windows is beautiful and the scent of coffee alongside tea is heavenly

the pastries are beautiful and you find yourself eyeing the macrons pretty frequently. just EVERYTHING about leviolas is cute :-(

but one particular thing is especially adorable to you

and that would be the owner

when you hear his name for the first time you’re a little shocked

levi ackerman to be specific captain levi ackerman, the high ranking official who aided in paradis’ independence and freed the nation from the grip of titans

you read about him a year back in a paper or two and vividly recall the valiant title he held as humanity’s strongest soldier

he still holds the title that’s for sure but now he happens to own a tea shop

it’s slightly unusual it’s not every day you see a soldier retire and live such a plain life but you suppose the simplicity makes levi happy

honestly, if you had been through hell and back like him you too would wish to spend the rest of your days in the company of tea leaves and sweet cakes

today is a day like any other you’re sat by one of the windows and contemplating sitting in the outside seating area

the sun is shining and lands uncomfortably on your face at this angle and you may as well make your way outside

but before you can a shadow looms over you and a broad chest leans over to cover the window with dainty curtains

“you looked bothered by the light.”

oh god.

it’s him.

he’s standing there looking at you with an unreadable expression and all you can do is open and close your mouth not knowing what to say

humanity’s strongest soldier

levi ackerman

also known as the really really really attractive cafe owner you’ve been crushing on for the last few months now

seeing him up close is much more different to looking at him from the comfort of your seat or whilst you order

he’s normally got his back turned whilst collecting orders or another worker collects them as he prepares the beverages

that’s why the unexpected interaction has you nervous

you can always tell when he’s made your drink because he honestly has a way with tea leaves and you kinda want to gush about how much you enjoy it

but, no, no, no.

you’re panicking just looking at him

soft black strands of hair stick to his forehead, his undercut is oddly satisfying to stare at and he smells of pine trees which again is refreshing

“ah hahaha thank you for blocking the sun out!!”

why the fuck did you ha ha????

this is so awkward.

putting on your best front you beam up at him hoping your toothy smile doesn’t look stupid

then again it probably does because who the hell has a good toothy smile

nobody.......

levi’s gaze lingers on you but if he has anything else he wants to say he doesn’t make it known

instead he firmly nods and turns away

you’ve messed up,,

only!!! you manage to mess up even more....?

without thinking your hand latches onto the back of his blue button up and your face burns up realizing what it is you’ve done when he stiffens to a stop

as quick as your hand has grabbed onto his shirt it lets go and you awkwardly laugh again

hahahahaha

“i’m sorry i didn’t mean to hold onto you so hard i was just...wondering if you could let me in on your secret.”

the random sentence is one you’ve made off the top of your head because you don’t have any real reason for holding onto him

but thankfully for you the saccharine of your voice is enough to sway levi

when he turns to see you with the same smile eagerly awaiting his answer something sparks in him

his chest feels a little funny but he ignores it

“secret?” he questions

“yeah!! your tea!! you’re really good at making it and aaaahhhh” you sigh contently thinking back on it.

“i remember when i ordered rose tea one time. you made it beautifully and the taste was infused so delicately it was incredibly soothing.”

hearing you ramble passionately about what he loves to do makes his chest feel funny again

he doesn’t know what the hell is going on exactly

but the only way he can explain it is his heart somersaulting and flipping despite him not wanting it to

despite that, it’s quite enjoyable

it’s probably got something to do with your kindhearted demeanor or the way you always manage to give him a smile when you waltz in

but levi finds himself fighting to touch you more and more as the days pass

your collar is always haphazardly done and he wants to lean in and fix it

sometimes you’ll have an eyelash on your face and he wants to lean in to swipe it away with his thumb

occasionally he stares at your hair and wants to sort it out. half the time it’s all over the place from the wind

he wants to lean in and smooth it out.

all he wants to do is LEAN IN but he sees no valid reason to

he’s lucky he’s always able to catch himself before his thumb reaches your cheek (you’re very oblivious and never notice how close he really gets)

ever since your first encounter at leviolas a few months back he’s been dragged into your world of books and lively stories

it doesn’t take you long to break out of your shell and you’re always telling levi something new

he doesn’t speak as much as you but when you coax out a story or two out of him he’s always earnest

you’ve learnt a lot through the conversations

you’ve learnt about his lost comrades, the horrible things he had to see on the battlefield, how he hopes he’ll live happy with what he has left

there are certain conversation topics he skips entirely and you respect his boundaries

you and levi are sat by a window and a comfortable silence floats between you two

it’s been four months

four months since you asked what his secret was

come to think of it he never told you what it was

he’s intently staring at you as you drink the lemon tea he’s just made you and his stare is a little too intense

feeling nervous you pick up your cup hoping for something to occupy yourself

recently the butterflies in your stomach have been increasing in number but you know it’s wrong to fancy levi

you don’t know why you think that but it’s the fact that you’re sure you’re not his type

he probably likes organised people, dependable people, funny people

not you.

you’re just an irksome author who spends your days writing in his shop

honestly he finds you annoying he has to. you’re always hanging around here

however, you do remember the one day you did choose to write in the park he thought you had died or something. that made you feel a little sad because he can’t really help but automatically worry if his routine is broken and you happen to have accidentally become part of his schedule

no, like levi’s literally said he has your name in his planner and whenever he thinks of a new thing to make you he’ll write it down with your name next to it

but still,, you’re convinced he has to find you annoying

there’s no reason for thinking it but you DEFINITELY think it’s correct

absentmindedly you haven’t even noticed levi still staring at you

“y/n?”

looking up at levi he’s clearly worried about something

humming in response telling him to continue he does

“i like someone.”

oh.

“...i’m not sure they’d return my feelings, that’s why i mentioned it.”

you smile at him warmly and you feel your heart sink, obviously he has to like someone. it’s probably someone in the corps, someone strong, someone capable. you’re not any of those things.

“well, you need not worry. if a man as good as you fancied me i’d be over the moon. i’m sure they would too!”

keep optimistic, don’t let him see you upset.

levi’s cheeks grow bright red and he bashfully tries to hide his embarrassment by covering his face with his hands

you laugh when he doesn’t budge and stays in the same position 

“c’mon levi, confess they’ll accept you have nothing to fear.” you coo persuasively

finally letting up after a few seconds he lets his arms drop to his sides.

“would you date me?”

the question takes you aback and you stare at him startled

soon realizing the idiocy laced in the inquiry he quickly retracts his statement

“nevermind, that was stupid.”

ignoring him you still want to answer

“uh well, i would. i have thought about it on occasion.”

he’s blinking rapidly trying to process what you’ve just admitted.

“you’ve thought about...?”

“dating you. yes i have.”

“and why the hell would you do that?” you can’t tell if he’s mad at you

“you’re capable, respectful. you’re considerate and quiet. i mean it you’re an amazing man really. also your tea!! imagine getting to drink it every day.”

you really have to add in the part about his tea because you know he loves it when you compliment it :-)

“ok, you drink my tea every day already.”

his short uninterested response stings and the dam of regret bursts open 

you shouldn’t have said all of that.

you and levi sit in an awkward silence for what feels like an eternity. you don’t dare look at him and your course of action is too drink your tea as quick as possible before dismissing yourself.

but before you can set your plan in motion levi breaks the ice.

“let’s date.”

you freeze and your eyes grow to the size of saucers

what did he just say???

he has to be losing his mind

“but levi what about the person you like?”

his eyebrow cocks upwards and an amused expression stretches across his face.

“i was talking about you.” he confesses boldly

this is a fever dream, nope, nope nope. you can not comprehend that this is your reality.

pinching your arm you hiss a little when you feel the pain

okay so, you’re definitely not dreaming...

“i, you, me. you...you like me?” the sentence is a jumble of words but you manage to sputter out something that makes sense

“yes. i like you.”

he’s being so blunt you can’t tell if he’s being serious but when you remind yourself that this is levi you relax, a blunt straightforward confession is meaningful coming from him 

BUT THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT

HELLO???? HE LIKES YOU BACK?%^%^”*

you get all blushy and flustered and you let out another one of your awkward hahahahaha’s but it’s a good hahahahaha

cautiously testing the waters he grabs your hand from across the table intertwining his fingers with yours

the gesture is adorable. the buzzing sensation that travels through your laced fingers makes you giggle to yourself giddily

“leviolas suddenly a matchmaking agency now? ;-)” your joke is dry and unfunny and levi rolls his eyes at it 

“you’re not funny.”

“but you still like me.” you tease

“yes. i still like you.” he admits

a few days have passed since then

you and levi have been the talk of the town 

humanity’s strongest soldier finally found his flame???

the chatter and rumors spread like wildfire, both you and levi aren’t fans of being in the spotlight but nothing negative has been said so there’s no complaints so far

levi places a cup of tea in front of you, it’s a herbal kind because you’ve been complaining about a headache

today you’re explaining why you dislike the plot of beauty and the beast and how there’s so much wrong with it. from the weirdly toxic relationship to the power imbalance. levi stands listening attentively whilst waiting for you to take a sip of the tea

just as you’ve paused to take a large breathe and prepare yourself to continue explaining how unbearable that book is levi uses it as his chance to say what he’s been wanting to 

“drink up before it’s ice cold.”

following his instructions you interrupt yourself and take a gulp of the herbal tea

your eyes glimmer in approval. it tastes of strawberries and you’re delighted already feeling your mood slightly raise in response

“it’s GREAT?? what did you put in it?? it doesn’t even taste medicinal.” once again, you’re fawning over his tea

“so levi ackerman, what really is the secret to all these perfect cups of tea?”

and without a seconds hesitation he responds.

“i was making the tea for you. that’s the secret.”

it takes a while for the gravity of his words to sink it but when the meaning does you cup his face in your palms and peck him everywhere. he whines a little but you can tell he enjoys the attention

you find that you’re more than happy you’ve found a home in levi and his shop

and levi’s more than happy he’s found a home in you and your books

:-)

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

Dean Winchester x Jeremy Bradshaw ??

Idk if you are asking re my post the other day about Angels or just generally, but just to be transparent Dean's OTP in Angels is Cas and I will not be permitting outsiders.

however, for purposes of um, brainstorming - for you know Science, I mean 10/10 Dean would find Professor Jeremy Bradshaw attractive. Dean THEEEE king of having a thing for authority figures Winchester? Dean 'I like men in uniform,' Dean 'I like doctors' Winchester? And snarky, I'm Always Right Professor Jeremy Bradshaw? (Also I mean. it goes without saying He Is Dean's Type ;)).

Yeah our boy would be A Whole Mess over this man.

However, I'm not entirely certain how Professor Bradshaw would feel about Dean. I can, however imagine the conversation that would ensue...and I wrote it down for you, nonnie - under the cut!

Dean's having a really long day, and it's only 9:00 a.m.

Yeah, he got his four hours last night, but still - hauling ass to school of all places this early in the morning - well, cracking the books at the first sign of the sun's never been one of Dean's favorite things.

But the mysterious disappearances in the Bridgewater Triangle are all over the papers - and according to the Lore (which now apparently comes in the medium of podcast), this isn't the first occurrence of paranormal activity in the area.

So here they are.

Sam's gone to nerd heaven in the university library, leaving Dean stuck talking to their primary witness.

Who happens to be - a professor of fucking folklore? What are the odds?

Dean waits for the stream of students pouring from the open door of the classroom to peter out before he slides inside. The man he's seeking out is still lingering in front of the rows of uncomfortable looking chairs. They're the kind with seats that stick straight up to the ceiling when a posterior isn't weighing them down.

"Jer- um, Professor?" Dean's not sure why he's hesitating, but something about leading with 'Jeremy' seems entirely too familiar for someone he's just met.

Especially when that someone is standing in front of him at a podium of all things, looking like an intriguing mixed bag of business casual blazer and rumpled button down shirt, dark swoops of hair grazing the sides of his face, still messy - as if he couldn't possibly bother with brushing it this morning.

Dean's never been to college but he's starting to think he understands why Sammy won't shut up about his 'time at Stanford.'

The professor is looking at him oddly.

Dean realizes he's literally stopped speaking and they're just standing in the middle of the classroom in stone silence. "Erhm. Dean Winchester. Aquarius," Dean blurts out, feeling a little unhinged.

He suddenly realizes he's given this man his real name as opposed to this week's FBI alias, and now he's going to have to explain why he's here in a suit and quickly-growing-more-uncomfortable tie.

Maybe not though, because the expression staring back at Dean is the epitome of 'I could care less.'

"Jeremy Bradshaw," he says in a melodic timbre, and yeah maybe Dean could sit through a lecture if this dude gave it.

"I don't really subscribe to the idea of the zodiac, so I hope you don't mind if I don't share my birth chart with you," Professor Bradshaw continues. There's a snarky little bite to his syllables that pricks the back of Dean's neck in a funny way. "Pray tell, what can I assist you with other than directions to the astrology department?"

Dean's not sure what he was expecting (maybe some mild mannered dude, dorkier than even Cas?), but it certainly wasn't all...this.

He clears his throat. "My brother Sam and I, we uh. We hunt monsters!"

What is happening to him? Maybe the supernatural creature they're hunting is the professor himself.

Potentially-Monster-of-the-Week-slash-Professor Sexy Bradshaw seems equally confused by Dean's demeanor.

"Monsters aren't real," he says almost gently - the equivalent of a 'there, there' to a recalcitrant child who's inquiring about a candy bar in the grocery checkout line. "Trust me, folklore is my primary field of study."

"Um," Dean continues, feeling suddenly very much like he's shown up for a final exam entirely unprepared. "Well, actually - they are."

This is going great.

Professor Bradshaw frowns a little, and Dean can see by the press of his lips he's starting to lose patience with him. "Mr. Winchester, was it? Listen, I've dealt with enough people who believe the things you do to know minds can't often be changed, but I can genuinely tell you that there's an explanation for anything you may be ascribing to the...paranormal."

He takes the wire-rimmed glasses from his nose, simultaneously pulling a handkerchief out of the pocket of his slacks, and wipes the lenses carefully.

Dean watches his movements like he's in a fever dream.

Dude's gotta be a siren or something.

Professor Bradshaw slides the spectacles back on and purses his lips with a sigh. "If you like, however - I'm always happy to discuss the supernatural in terms of academia. I have the background."

Great. The last thing Dean 'GED and a give-em-hell attitude' Winchester needs right now is to discuss his actual godforsaken job in terms of...academia.

After a moment of collecting himself, Dean decides to go with:

"What is your background, exactly?"

Maybe there's a back door approach here.

He slams down on the next incoming thought prompted by his use of this particular terminology with particularly intense vehemence. If the professor sees Dean squirming, he doesn't comment, replying instead:

"I happen to have a PhD in - "

Dean doesn't even let him finish the sentence. "A PhD? Like a doctorate?"

Professor Bradshaw nods, increasing irritation tensing the lines of his jaw. The toe of his extremely sensible Oxford shoe is starting to tap a little beat on the faded hardwood of the classroom floor.

Dean knows it's not the same as a medical doctorate.

He's aware.

But that doesn't stop him from picturing Doctor-Monster-Professor-Bradshaw sporting a white jacket and scrubs, with a dangling stethoscope replacing the bowtie that's currently perched on his neck.

Professor Bradshaw's eyes are blinking at Dean. They're full of confusion.

He suddenly notices that they are also very, very, very blue.

Yeah - Dean's gonna have a really long day.

[theshelbyclan]

Family Secrets

Summary: Polly finally lets slip what the real Shelby curse is and as the youngest Shelby, with a little encouragement from John, you feel obligated to use it to your own advantage

(Gif by @mistress-gif​) A/N: I wrote this one when I couldn’t sleep, a long time ago, fuelled by my own frustration of being picked on as the youngest. This has been a headcanon of mine for ages and I finally put it to paper. I never had any intention of posting it, but because I’ve reached the 500 followers mark, I decided to share. It’s short, fluffy and a lot lighter than the actual series. Enjoy!

Words: 3220

*** 

“Give me the fucking book, John!” you bellowed through the kitchen. Your aunt was adamant that you’d all eat together, one day a week, on Sunday. These dinners were great and important, but they always ended in chaos. Tommy usually left early to get on with work, so he was never part of the sibling banter that ensued.

You had just finished eating and while Aunt Polly was busy clearing the dishes, you thought you could read a little. How wrong you were.

Holding the book out of your reach, the most annoying brother in the world was grinning broadly at you. “I will punch you in the fucking throat…” you threatened. This only made John laugh harder and he threw the book over your head towards Arthur who caught it nimbly. “How about me, little sister,” Arthur said playfully, “Are you going to cut me?” With a sigh you turned around and made another failed attempt at grabbing the book. Arthur threw the book back at John and a little game had started that you had no energy for. Still, you wanted that fucking book. “Forget the book, Y/N,” Ada commented from behind her own book, “Let them have their fun.”

But you were too stubborn for your own good, “I’ll be damned if I let them win…” which gave rise to more laughter from your brothers. So you grabbed the nearest tea towel and threw it in Arthur’s face. Before he could remove it, you pounced and actually felt the book beneath your fingers now. Polly paused her work and watched the scene with interest, partially because it was sweet, in a very Shelby manner, and partially because she wanted to put a stop to it before her kitchen got destroyed. You were so close, but Arthur grabbed you around your waist and managed to get the book back to John. Now you were well and truly stuck. “Right, what now?” he teased in a low voice. “Get the fuck off!” you screamed, when John walked over to you and dangled the book in front of you. Stretching out your arms as much as you could, you could almost reach it. But John, evil as he was, used his other hand to tickle your ribs and you immediately crumpled down in Arthur’s arms. The second brother soon joined in and now you were being attacked by two pairs of hands. You dissolved in a mess of giggles within seconds and there was nothing you could do. Sliding down onto the floor, with very little hope of rescue from your sister or aunt, you were at their mercy completely. And then, like some miracle, Ada intervened. She grabbed John by the collar and pulled him back. You gasped for breath as soon as you could. “She’s had enough, John,” Ada said sternly, “Back off, or you’re next.” Arthur looked down on you with a huge grin on his face, “Ada, we both know she can take much more than that…” “Noo!” you whined and without waiting for him to finish his sentence, you rolled away on your stomach across the kitchen until you bumped into your aunt. “Should’ve punched him in the throat,” she said softly to you. “Don’t be a baby!” John called out, “It’s your own fault.” “How the fuck is it my fault?” you replied indignantly from the floor. “For being so fucking sensitive,” John grinned. Arthur joined in, “That’s right. Just turn it off.” You rolled your eyes almost audibly. 

John scoffed and pushed Ada away, “You’re fourteen now, Y/N. Time to learn.”

Polly turned around swiftly, “Oh, like you ever did!”

“What?” your head shot up.

Ada looked at you with a smirk, “What, you thought you were the only one?”

As you got to your feet, Polly helped you up and said meaningfully, “That’s the real family curse, sweetheart.”

Years of them pinning you down and teasing you bubbled up in frustration, “Are you saying that I’ve been going through torture for all these years, thinking that it was just me, when all this time…”

Arthur shrugged, “You’re the youngest and smallest. Comes with the territory.” 

“Besides, we’re stronger,” John added smugly. He was right of course, which made it all the more annoying.

Polly threw down the washing cloth and theatrically said, “Welcome to the Shelby family, feared by all in Birmingham and where everyone is ticklish as fuck!” Your entire worldview had been altered in seconds. Apparently this wasn’t news to your siblings, because they all looked completely unimpressed by this bit of information, while you stood there with your mouth hanging open in surprise. After thinking about all of this for a while, you asked, “Even Tommy?” “When we were kids we used to make fun of him,” John recalled with a glint in his eyes, “It’s just his ribs, but if you poke him suddenly, he literally jumps.” “He went absolutely feral,” Arthur nodded. An idea was taking shape in your head, “Would that still work, you think?” “You’ll only get yourself killed,” Ada commented in her usual bored tone of voice. “Do it!” John urged, “Come Ada, you know she’ll get away with it.” You and John had always been the most mischievous in the family and you shared a look with a similar twinkle in your eyes. You finally knew something Tommy didn’t know. This was your one chance to catch Thomas Shelby by surprise. ***

For the next couple of days, you tried to get your brother alone. It was strange, because on the one hand you couldn’t wait to try out your plan. Envisioning how he would react was brilliant already, but the feeling of power you had was even greater. However, you also feared his reaction. Thomas Shelby was a busy man and he had very little time for anyone these days. When he did spend time with you, it was short and it often involved him reprimanding you. In all honesty, you were a little scared of him, but not scared enough to let a prank like this one go to waste. You’d deal with the consequences, whatever they were.

John might’ve been even more excited than you were and whenever Tommy left to go somewhere on his own, he motioned you frantically to follow him. Finding the right time proved almost impossible though. So you decided just to get on with it. This was the day you would find out if your brother shared the family curse. Unfortunately, he’d been in a bad mood all day. He’d called a family meeting at breakfast and had left quickly after that. They’d all reconvene in the evening. Dodging all your other responsibilities, you shadowed Tommy for most of the day, but he had one business meeting after the other. His mood was getting darker and darker, and you began to wonder if you were actually suicidal. But then, unexpectedly, you found yourself alone with him outside. “Y/N,” he said strictly, “Tell me what’s going on.” You’d come outside for some peace, because today was one of the busiest days at the shop and you’d had enough of the noise. Outside, you planned on reading your book and you’d forgotten about Tommy for a minute. Until he had appeared suddenly. “Nothing,” you said, looking up.

“Then why have you been following me all day, eh?” He sounded annoyed almost and all courage left you.

Improvising quickly, you said, “Missed you at dinner last Sunday.” “I was there,” he lit a cigarette and sat down next to you on the stone steps.

“For five whole minutes…”

“There was business to attend to.” “And there’s family to attend to as well,” you replied, without missing a beat. Silently, he side-eyed you and a small smirk played around his lips, “You’re right, I’ll do better next week. Am I forgiven?” “No,” you feigned anger. He turned his head towards you and he smiled, and you couldn’t help but smile back.

The bond you had with Tommy was a complicated one. In many ways you were very similar, but the war had changed him the most. Sometimes you felt like you’d lost him completely, when you thought of how you used to talk and laugh with him when you were younger. These moments were so rare now. And these exact thoughts did the trick and you decided that you had to be the one to make that old Tommy come back, if only a little. So you said a silent prayer, decided not to overthink it and poked him in the ribs once. The effect was immediate. Thomas Shelby shot up and nearly rocketed himself off the steps. With a wild look of betrayal he turned his eyes on you and you almost burst out laughing.   “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” you asked innocently.

He cleared his throat, ran a hand through his hair and sat back down. Apparently, we’re pretending this never happened, you thought. 

A few seconds of awkward silence later, you poked him again. This time, a small yelp escaped him. The most feared gangster in Birmingham yelped, and you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing any longer. 

As you were still trying to regain composure, Tommy pointed at you with a menacing finger, “Do that again and you will not live to tell the fucking tale.” You could only snort in reply. He was trying so hard to act all scary and while that had an effect on most people, you just couldn’t be bothered right now: It was too funny. Besides, you thought you could detect just a hint of mirth behind those pale blue eyes and decided to risk everything on just that.

“I mean it, Y/N,” he repeated, raising his eyebrows, “Do it again, I fucking dare you, and see what happens.” So you did it again. 

In a flash, he was up and dove for you. But you were faster and jumped out of the way. Like the two of you were a part of a bad play, you started circling each other around the small yard. Neither said a word and seconds felt like hours. Then Arthur called from inside the house, “Tom!”

“You called a family meeting,” you reminded him, while relaxing a little at the prospect of escape.

Tommy’s eyes stayed on you and he cleared his throat again, “Fuck, alright. You’re coming with me.” And he lifted you up and threw you over one shoulder. Your shrieks filled the house as he walked through the betting den, over to the table where the family was already gathered, with you still on his shoulder. Without blinking, the leader of the Peaky Blinders announced, “Right, well you’re all here. Let’s talk business quickly…” Aunt Polly pointed vaguely at your arse, which was sticking up in the air, “You do realise you have my niece in your arms?” “Well aware, Poll,” Tommy continued, like it was the most normal thing in the world, “Business! We’ve done well this week. John’s shown me the books and we’re making more money than ever. Next week, we’re buying a new horse and I’m going to race her.” Flabbergasted, the family stared at Tommy. You could see the million questions on their faces, but they decided to wait until he was done talking. You had also refrained from protesting by now. “Poll, as treasurer I need your permission to buy the horse.” She blinked a few times and mumbled, “Buy the horse. Y/N‘s still…” Tommy held up a hand, “Not finished,” and everyone closed their mouths again, “John, I need you to talk to that old widow down the road. She’s recently lost her son and she should become part of our fund. Arthur, for fucks sake, get the books from the Garrison in order.” “It’s those bloody numbers, Tom…” Arthur grumbled in reply. “Are we all clear on what to do?” Tommy finished off in a hurry. When no one replied, he answered for them, “Good!” With this he plucked you down from his shoulder and held you in his arms bridal style. With a grave and business-like tone he announced, “As you all know, this is Y/N Shelby, youngest member of the family. While we were away in France, she kept the fort and she has often provided us with some relief in times of stress ever since we’ve come back. But not anymore.” John started to get nervous and looked from you to Tommy. Had they gone too far this time? But then he saw Arthur grinning and even Ada had a small smile on her face, so he knew Tommy was only playing. “Gentlemen,” Tommy continued, “This is the day that Y/N Shelby dies. Say goodbye to your sister.”

And that’s when you decided not to await your fate, so you made a sudden movement and jumped out of Tommy’s arms. Dashing past the table, you sought refuge behind Polly’s back. 

“Told you this would happen, Y/N,” Ada said, not helping at all.

For some reason, Polly got up and left the room, while stating triumphantly, “The secret’s out, Thomas. Deal with it.” Now you just had an empty chair for protection. Tommy pointed at you directly and practically growled, “And it’s going back in.” With three of the largest steps he was at your side once again.

So you held up your hands, “Okay, wait, I can explain.”

“Too late, little sister,” Tommy said in a low voice, “These are family secrets that are not spoken of.”

“You’re such a drama queen, Tommy,” your sister commented, while getting up to leave. And all you could think was: why would you leave me alone with these mad bastards?

You really should’ve known better but decided to go for the cocky approach, “There’s no point in trying to scare me now, Tommy, knowing what I know.” You raised your eyebrows in an attempt to show him you were still in control. You weren’t. In a flash he’d tackled you to the floor and had you pinned down, while whispering ominously, “You picked the wrong brother to fuck with, Y/N Shelby.”

And for the second time in a week, you cursed your own sensitive skin as dexterous hands attacked your sides. Incapable of little but laughing and screaming, you flailed around hopelessly. Tommy’s face was slowly softening into a smile as well.

“Tommy!” you pleaded between giggles, “It was John, not me!” “Was it now?” he taunted without stilling his fingers, “And who was the fool to listen to his ideas, eh?” He moved up to your ribs, which made the pitch of your laughter increase. “Toohoohoom! Wait!”

Now, it was no secret that your major weakness in life was your sensitivity. Usually it was John who took the most advantage of it, being the mad joker that he was, but he often got Finn or Arthur to join in. Arthur on his own could be absolutely brutal, which was due to his strength as well, so there was no hope for you at all. Ada didn’t bother much, but when she did, she was merciless, much like Polly. But Tommy, he was a whole other story. You didn’t have many moments like this with him anymore, but when he did play and did get his hands on you, it was hell. He knew exactly how to reduce you to a small heap of giggles, pleading for your life and regretting all life choices up to that point. And this was happening right now. His smile was widening and he shook his head, “You thought you could beat me, eh?” “Yeheeeheees,” you admitted. Then he stopped for a second, allowing you to breathe, “Alright, you little devil, I’ll give you one a chance to speak.”

Residual giggles were pouring from your mouth, “Never… listen… to… John.” Tommy looked up at his younger brother who was showing zero remorse on his face, and he nodded slowly, “Good. What else?” “I’ve learned that Thomas Shelby sounds like a girl when…” but you never got to finish that sentence, as he continued his assault.

“Wrong answer. And you are way to ticklish to have an attitude like that, Y/N,” he said calmly. 

As he dragged your arms up and dug his hands under your arms, you squeezed your eyes shut, “NOOOO, I’M SOOHOORYYY!” “Are you?” he asked, now smiling broadly at your reaction, “Then tell me what you’ve fucking learned from this, eh?” “YOU DON’T FUCK WITH THE PEAKY BLINDERS!” you managed to shout out between laughs. “That’s right,” Arthur commented, watching the scene while sitting back in his chair, “Finally, she gets it.” Tommy paused and looked at both of his brothers, as if he was waiting for their verdict. “Nah,” John decided to cause more trouble, “I don’t think she has…” Still struggling unsuccessfully to get out of Tommy’s grasp, you shouted, “John, shut your fucking mouth or I swear to God…” Tommy rolled his eyes and interrupted you, “Get her, boys,” he called out, “Let’s teach our sister some respect for her brothers.” So now there were three brothers trying to keep you in place, while you were being tickled from all sides. Why did you listen to John? Why did you not know better than to challenge Tommy? Spluttering, kicking and fighting like crazy, you managed to kick them a little bit at least, but the fact that they were all grinning down on you still meant that it didn’t help much. 

Tears leaking out of your eyes, you shrieked, “YOOOUAAHAHAH AHAHAHALL SUAHAHACK!”

Then Tommy stopped them and crossed his arms in front of him. The amusement was twinkling in his eyes, “Had enough?” “Yep,” you said quickly, wiping the tears from your eyes. “Whatever Polly has told you,” he widened his eyes and brought his face close to yours, “Family secrets are not spoken of.” “Fine!” you called out, “They’re not spoken of.” His smile grew again, “Remember this, Y/N. And remember this was nothing compared to what we can do and what I will do, if you ever feel the need to cross Thomas fucking Shelby again.” You got up, again, and brushed yourself off while sending a death-stare to each of your brothers. But when Tommy smiled at you, there was a certain warmth to it that you hadn’t seen in ages.

“Wankers…” you mumbled carefully. Tommy smirked slightly, “You brought this upon yourself, Y/N. Now you know what happens…” “…when you fuck with the Peaky Blinders. Bladibladibla…” you finished his sentence. Making your way to the door, you turned back for a moment, “To be fair, Tommy, I did just saw you jump up about a foot because you’re actually fucking ticklish. So much for the whole gangster act, I should say.” Tommy’s eyes narrowed, John burst out laughing and Arthur managed to shout out a quick “Oi!” And before anyone could react, you sprinted away. Somehow, this still felt like a victory. Sure, you were the youngest and probably the most sensitive in the family, but you had discovered your own weapon now. John would be next, just for setting you up. Arthur would involve more planning. But finding Tommy’s weakness, that was the real triumph. Behind you, you could hear Tommy sit down and sigh, “Well, boys, we’re well and truly fucked now…”

And you grinned to yourself. The game was on.

***

Masterlist

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 13 “When She Finally Leaves” [Episode List] Dana spends the whole day at Dave’s place. When the girl leaves, Tim, who’s now Dave’s roommate, finds out how much gas a man can hold in just to not look gross in front of a girl.

When She Finally Leaves

In the last few weeks I’ve been spending more and more nights at Dave’s place, whether because I needed a place to work, write my essays, or simply to spend some quality time watching bad films and drinking beer. It was Dave himself to ask me to “marry him” (as he jokingly put it), basically becoming official roommates, which also meant dividing our tasks and obviously splitting the rent.

And honestly we were having a great time. We both had jobs, fortunately, which were not much but they did pay taxes for now and it was overall a great experience. Friend or not, Dave is an excellent roommate, being pretty good at cooking and organising chores; the same could be said for me actually, though in some cases we have our own preferences; for example Dave prefers cooking (the fact that I’m bad at it it’s purely coincidental) so we agreed I’ll be the one doing the dishes.

We also had our buds crashing over what is now *our* place a couple of times, which resulted in more bad films and beer, or even nerd stuff such as gaming together. Of course however, the person who most often came over is obviously Dana, Dave’s girlfriend. She’s pretty cool though we don’t really hang out with her when Dave’s not around, though as I said she’s pretty easy-going.

Tonight we’ve been watching a trash movie. Yes, the three of us. Don’t worry, I was a welcome addition today. Dave would usually just tell me to leave for a few hours if sex was on the table (sometimes literally on the table, the one where we eat our food…) as we respect each others enough to just be straightforward whenever we needed some privacy. Tonight however it was just chilling like three friends hanging out together (knowing however that Dave would just give me a signal should things get more heated up you know).

We were in the living room. I was on an armchair, working on my laptop, despite the poor wi-fi. On the long wide couch beside me, Dave and Dana chilling and watching the movie with more attention than me, my bud’s left arm around his girlfriend, sometimes making remarks on how bad it was. We all had a can of beer, because of course we did.

The couple brought some takeouts for dinner, some fast-food a few blocks from here (Dana’s idea, actually, which we were both thankful for). Dave, chilling next to Dana, was wearing his signature casual outfit: a grey shirt and pair of dark blue loose jeans, details that my gay-ass eyes immediately noticed and more than once stared at.

“Oh wow the helicopter just blew up I’m speechless.” Dave said, sarcastically.

“A Subversive Masterpiece: that’s what they were going for when they wrote this.” Dana added, and they both chuckled.

I also did my fair share of sarcastic remarks though work got most of my attention, even though it was nothing urgent, just me trying to get some stuff done as fast as possible.

“Did the shark just wink at him?” my bro commented.

“They’re best friends now.” his girlfriend explained. What a great film.

After 15 more minutes the movie ended with the three of us clapping at a shot of a man and a shark exchanging a look of gratitude to each other, as the Sun set into the never-ending ocean. Drugs played a big role into the making of this move I’m 100% sure.

“Well, that was enlightening, but I gotta head back home. The Uber’s almost here.” Dana said, as she got up and reached for her purse and some other stuff.

“You’re really sure about that? Come on, stay here for the night.” Dave suggested. “I taught Tim to play dead. We can throw food at him.” he then joked.

“I can also bring you the newspaper upstairs, tomorrow morning.” I played along.

Dana chuckled in response. “I’m sure you’ll win the next contest you two, but I gotta wake up super early tomorrow.”

The couple walked towards the front door. The entrance was next to the living room, a few steps behind the couch. Dave and I sometimes darkly joked that any assassin could easily ambush us because whenever we’re on the couch anyone could sneak into the house behind us, with enough care (we then prefer to drink about it).

“Call me when you get home.” Dave said and the two shared a quick kiss.

In the meantime I moved on the bigger (and more comfortable) couch, more or less in Dana’s spot, as I also have better wi-fi reception there. I left my laptop on the small table in front of me because apparently all of my laptops have to be shitty and take some time to even the most basic stuff. As I inspected the wi-fi icon flashing on the screen, I heard Dave shutting the door and walking back to the couch. After a few steps his tall figure was already towering over me.

“Yeah the reception is pretty bad lately.” he commented, and then collapsed next to me.

Only a few seconds and he already had that well-known smirk drawn on his face; he then quickly adjusted his position. He completely laid down, extended his demin-clad legs, with his left one resting on the back of the couch, ending right behind my neck. In a moment, Dave ended up showing off his loose, almost-sagging jeans-clad ass directly next to me, as his legs trapped me into a gentle yet strong grip. Seeing both that “wall” made of jeans and my bro’s smirk at the same time was a sight I never truly got used to. He was just lying there, next to me, with his ass pointed at me, as if it was one big prank, even though he knew exactly how much I enjoyed that.

“Bro you’re ready?” he asked, still sporting that smirk.

When even Dave goes as far as asking me if I’m ready, then I knew that the fart was going to be gargantuan. And I realized why: Dana has been with us and my bro the entire day, so it’s possible that Dave just held all of his gas in for hours. We all experienced this, then when the girl leaves, men get to “relax”. Other than that, Dave had tons of beer and junk food. I stared at that denim butt, for the first time almost scared of what my bud was capable of; I knew a fart was coming, and I knew it was going to be big.

But what Dave said next really once again confirmed how chill he is around me.

“Believe me: you might want to get closer for this one.” he said, laughing a bit.

He sported weirdly reassuring smile, Dave’s millionth attempt at saying “It’s ok, Tim.” as he probably noticed now nervous I became when he assumed that pose.

The teasing bastard then went full bully on me and simply reached for my head with his long right arm and gently pulled me down, as if I was bowing to that still silent denim-clad ass. I just heard him laugh like an idiot, as it usually happens. Despite my head being down and in front of that ass, I could still see Dave’s face and that smirk. He raised his eyebrows and half-closed his eyes as he started pushing, but he didn’t need to put all that effort into ripping that blast.

It’s like the fart was barely contained in the first place: it immediately exploded with a loud sound right into my face. Dave closed his eyes and kept his smirk as the blast probably surprised him as well. It was low-pitched and dry, a completely natural gas-eruption that sounded like an engine. The stench was unbearable, a mixture of beer and junk food, surprise to no one.

While farting, Dave adjusted his position as bit, spreading his legs bit more, with my face getting almost planted into that denim-clad butt as he effortlessly kept ripping that immense flatulence. Hours and hours of gas being erupted as if I was in front of a dormant volcano that just woke up. And I feared that “hours” was what he was going for ‘cause after 20 seconds the fart didn’t even lose power.

Dave still had this smirk drawn on his face and occasionally stared down at me as he completely destroyed my face and nose with his incredible farting skills, skills that constantly let me speechless, fetish or not. He was the fart master, a showoff with a manly talent that I could only bow to and endure in the hop-

“Sorry, I forgot my house keys.”

The fart immediately stopped and it all went silent: It was Dana.

Dave turned his head to his girlfriend, greeting her with the stupidest smile you can think of.

“Oh stay there no worries, they’re right here.” I heard Dana say as she reached for keys, probably hanging right next to the door, my face still almost planted in my friend’s denim ass. That felt surreal.

I completely froze (not that I could move) but I knew that she couldn’t see me (just like I couldn’t see her) as I was lying down. All she could see from where she was standing was Dave’s head and his right leg resting on the back of the couch, since the entrance was behind our couch.

I was terrified, while Dave was doing his best not laugh like an idiot.

“What’s so funny?” Dana asked, laughing a bit herself, definitely noticing her boyfriend being weird.

My teasing bro quickly glanced down at me, almost losing it (and still holding holding the fart in, which didn’t stop the smell from burning my nostrils).

“N-nothing’” he stuttered. That’s it, he was gonna laugh like an idiot.

“Okay” I heard Dana, not really convinced of the boyfriend’s answer though.

There was a moment of awkward silence and then we heard a car honk, thank goodness.

“Oh… it’s my Uber. Bye!” the girl said, quickly leaving the house and shutting the door behind her.

Another moment of silence followed, Dave still staring at the entrance. I was shaking, I was legitimately scared that someone was gonna find out, which was weird given the hotness I was experiencing in that moment, even without the fart being ripped.

“Ok… where were we?” Dave asked, turning back to me, with a smirk. “Oh yeah!”

And he effortlessly resumed farting, just as loud, proud and powerful as it was before the interruption, directly into my face. The terror I experienced moments before was blown away by that incredibly blast and me being rock-hard, as it usually happens when Dave showoffs his gassy talent around me, or on me.

Dozens of seconds passed and at this point Dave just played along. He nodded at me, faking a serious expression, as if he was listening to something actually interesting instead of his own loud fart still going on strong; after about ten more seconds he checked the time on his wrist-watch and acted surprised, then stared down at me as if he wanted to say “damn that is long!”. We both however actually lost the track of time and he simply relaxed as if I wasn’t even in front of his ass, all while the fart was still being blasted in my face.

Dave then reached for my head again and gently pushed it inches closer to his roaring ass, and I felt the vibrations of his rip all over my face: it was literally an earthquake.

How long was it lasting? More than 1 minute perhaps? How much gas can a man hold in? Dave certainly was pushing for a record. All I knew is that I felt privileged witnessing that, even though I was beyond being a mere witness since no particle of gas missed my eyes and nostrils.

However (finally, actually), the fart seemingly started to lose power, the once-continuous sound starting to “stutter” and turning more into a fast series of loud farts, fired back-to-back. The show (because that’s what it was: a show) ended with a loud, 5 seconds blast, and Dave’s laughter.

I slowly got up, sweaty, my nose burning, with a startled look to which my bro reacted with another immature cackle. I was now sitting next to him as I was before, and looked back at my bud, who in the meantime re-adjusted his pose. He was still lying down, still kind of showing off his loose-sagging ass, but in a less “menacing” way: now he was just chilling.

“When’s Dana coming over again?” I joked. I mustered all the courage I had left to say that. I was impressed by the fact that I could still speak considering that all of my blood probably flooded my boner at that point.

Dave laughed at that lame joke, thank goodness. “As if I need Dana to blast you like this.”

He raised one leg, again showing off his sagging denim ass in my direction. He quickly sucked some air in and after a few moments and weird noises a loud 6 seconds fart erupted. For his standards, that’s basically a weak one.

My friend just casually joking and bragging about facefarting me and then farting on command to prove it made me lose it, as I felt my boner… dampening. He didn’t notice it but he knew that I had a hard-on, that’s for sure.

I didn’t want to just rush into the bathroom so I just stared at my laptop, still on the table, in front of me: the wi-fi signal was stronger than ever. I jokingly like to think that Dave’s blast was so powerful it actually influenced the signal somehow and improved it.

I turned to my bud, still lying on his side of the couch, just checking his phone and being… casually hot.

“Thanks man.” I said, not for the wi-fi though.

He lowered his phone, revealing a blank reaction “Really?” he said, rolling his eyes, with a bored expression. “Stop being cringe and do the dishes.”

Fuck, I totally forgot about those. We had takeout food but we still used some of our dishes. I immediately got up and rushed to the kitchen, hoping that Dave was distracted by his phone enough to not notice by boner through my sweatpants.

Once in the kitchen, a place that wasn’t tainted by Dave’s gas, my nostrils could still feel my bro’s fart-stench. That’s how soaked up in his gas I was. Even my ears needed some time to adjust to the silence, now that I didn’t have a deafening fart being ripped right into my skull. 

And I just knew that this wasn’t the last time this was gonna happen. I’m Dave’s roommate, and being roomies means we have to divide our tasks: he’s the farter, I’m the sniffer.

End of Episode 13