#however that feels too close to the forbidden ship

[ashtonisvibing]

who would've thought, while watching mark's final video of slay the princess, that the phrase "shifting mound mark" would have invoked such a deep autistic reaction in me

and anyways if you give me some time and a white board i could connect each of mark's characters with a princess

[prudentseer]

etho down bad on his knees for joel after initially rejecting him but pride-and-prejudice-enemies-to-lovers-period-drama style

sorry i had to find someone who might(?) share the vision

Hold my hand when I say this anon but never be afraid to drop your takes into my inbox, I love to hear them regardless of whether or not I see the vision.

Fortunately for you however. I SEE THE VISION, I UNDERSTAND YOU.

The "fell first--fell harder" dynamic for boat boys fits SO WELL in my mind because of double life. Etho being wary of Joel, kinda sad that he's teamed with him and by the end he's right there with Joel in chanting "The ship burns everything burns". Also their dynamic in limited life where they were "exes"...they are enemies your honour. I call that character development.

In fact, I see the vision so much that I actually wrote something in a more arranged marriage, period drama-esc style a long while back. It's unfinished (and a bit out of order for context purposes) because historical fiction is not my specialty and I know it's not exactly what you asked for, but it's what I had and I thought I'd share a snippet (it's 1.2k words I don't think I can exactly call it that anymore) of it.

It was odd, really, how much love could feel like an obsession.

He expressed it as quietly as he possibly could in forehead kisses and small gifts; just so it didn't collect in his chest to claw at the confines and suffocate him. And it was probably dramatic to say but with the lack of air he felt around Joel it truly did feel as though if he didn't let some of it out of his heart, he'd explode.

Or even worse, he'd tell Joel how he really felt.

He'd gotten dangerously close on occasion after too many drinks by the fireplace or Joel dancing a step too close. But he didn't.

Because Joel didn't love him back.

And why would he? Etho had all but forbidden him from doing so.

This day had felt equal parts fast and agonizingly slow. But he had a feeling that a marriage he didn't agree to, with someone he barely liked, for power he couldn't have might have something to do with that.

Joel rests on the edge of the bed, one leg up and crossed on the mattress while the other dangled loosely over the edge. His tie hung loose around his neck and his shoes long kicked off but his suit still on. Etho leaned against the dresser across from him, arms folded and mouth pressed into a firm line. The grandfather clock ticking beside them. It had been three minutes and 29 seconds since they've entered their shared room and neither of them had spoken.

It was much easier to watch as time passed silently than it was to look at the person in his bed, the matching ring on his finger.

A heavy sigh startles him from his thoughts. "Listen, could you at least pretend to tolerate me?"

Etho blinks slowly. "I--"

"Don't say you have because how you've been acting like there's been a knife at your throat the entire day." Joel interrupts, running a hand through his hair. A nervous tick, something Etho noticed in the time they've spent together. "I've sent you three letters since we last saw each other; none of which you replied to, you were barely there for any of the planning process and when I see you for our actual wedding, you can't even look me in the eye."

"That's because--"

"Of what? Because I told you that I loved you?" Joel rolls his eyes. "God, excuse me for putting an effort to make it work with the man I've been betrothed to for over a year."

He remembers the day. They'd been exchanging letters weekly for several months at this point but it was only their third official time meeting in person. It was a nice day so they took a walk through Joel's garden and I instead of the flowers Etho noticed that there was this look in Joel's eye, a smile on his face and a certain tone in his voice...Joel didn't even need to tell him. He just knew. It made it extremely uncomfortable to see him again, that they both knew.

He glances down at the ring on his own finger before shaking his head.

"I'm never going to love you like you want me to."

"That's fine." Joel states, a small twitch in his face betraying his words. "I'll...I'll get over it eventually if it means you'll work with me."

Etho tilts his head. "Work with you?"

"You don't have to love me. You don't even have to like me or be friends with me..."

"But...?"

"But we're going to be a team." Joel finishes, pulling off his tie in one swift movement as he does. "This means you're going to sit next to me at gatherings, you're going to dance with me at least once when we're invited to balls, you'll eat one meal a day with me, you'll share a room with me and please for the love of God, at the very least don't look like you're going to throw up when you see me."

A compromise. A reasonable one.

"I can do that." Etho replies, as level as he can, straightening his own tie as he does. "On one condition."

"What?"

"You won't ever expect anything more."

He's being bitter and he knows it. Taking out his anger out on someone who doesn't deserve it, someone who didn't ask for this either. It's unlike him really, that he can't bring himself to care.

"You're not exactly making it difficult lad."

"Joel--"

"You have a deal."

Etho nods. "Then I'll play the part."

"You'll play the part *well*."

"I promise."

Etho didn't remember exactly when it stopped being a show to him.

"Really interesting page?"

Etho blinks himself back into reality, Joel staring at him so intently from his side of the bed that he feels his chest tighten. "What?"

Joel chuckles, rubbing his eyes sleepily before shuffling close enough that Etho can wrap an arm around his shoulder. And he does, squeezing it lightly as his arm curls around.

"You've been staring at this page blankly for the past ten minutes." Etho glances at the grandfather clock in the corner. It's been longer. "You don't have to read the book if you don't like it."

This book was Joel's recommendation and Etho had to admit that it was good, he'd just been...very distracted lately.

"No I like it's just..."

"Yeah?" He smiles, head bumping Etho's shoulder. It burns. Every touch Joel gives him feels like fire has been set to his veins. "What's wrong?"

And his eyes are staring up at him so soft and kind and warm and understanding and it feels like he can tell him anything. Almost anything. The words feel heavy on his tongue, going down like oil as he swallows them.

"Nothing, you should go back to sleep."

He won't be able to resist forever but he buys himself one more day.

Joel's nose wrinkles. "You--"

And Etho is saved by the fact Joel's interrupted by his own yawn.

"You know I'm not stupid right Etho?" Joel states, settling further into Etho's arm as he does. Etho only pulls the sheet tighter. "You've been weirder than usual and if you won't tell me, I'll figure it out myself."

Theoretically, he could tell him but what then? He wouldn't leave, he wouldn't laugh but if Joel knew what Etho felt for him, he would never let him get this close to him again.

And it'd exactly what he deserved.

Karma for being an asshole to someone who just wanted to not be treated like dirt by his husband of circumstance and all he can do is accept it. Accept that he missed his chance.

Maybe one day his heart will catch up with his brain.

"Goodnight Joel."

"I'm serious." He yawns again, head tucked into the crook of Etho neck; breath tickling his clavicle. "I know you better than you like. Just wait."

It's true and it's even scary sometimes. Etho wonders how on earth he got so lucky to have someone that understands him like Joel. Someone who was willing to stick by his side through everything.

Etho waits until Joel is settled, snoring softly again before he places his book down gently on the nightstand, blowing out the table side candle. He tilts his head and presses a soft kiss to the top of Joel's head, waiting in case he stirs.

"I love you." He whispers into his hair, taking a breath when there's no response.

And the part of his chest settles just enough that he feels like he can sleep too.

[your-name-is-jim]

What a Kirk/Spock shipper sees in a Kirk/Female-Love-Interest story [PART 2/2]

Part 1 <- Please read Part 1 first. Part 2 won't make sense otherwise!

This panel is absolutely AMAZING and you all deserved to see it :D

So, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah, Laura just proposed.

As you can see, Jim is panicking not sure what to answer, so the first thing he does is calling his two best friends. There are so many things going on here; I'll try to mention everything I care about!

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together."

This is an important part of this comic: apparently, in this story Starfleet isn't encouraging relationships between officers with a different rank. I know it's sort of implied in canon too, but it's not always clear if it's actually against regulations or if it's fine when the ranks are close.

As a K/S shipper, this detail just gives me an in-universe reason why Jim and Spock aren't considering dating each other in this story: a commander can't probably have a relationship with a captain. I mean, we already know from canon TOS that Jim avoids relationships with the members of his crew, so this just adds a layer to a potential forbidden love story between them. Yeah, I know this isn't what this comic is trying to do, but what can I say? Fans don't stop shipping something just because they learn it's not allowed in-universe… if anything, they can find it more exciting! :D

"We could teach at the Academy. Mind you, she laughed at that idea."

Oh, wait. Jim actually talked to Laura about their possible future together! It looks like he's thinking about them as teachers at Starfleet Academy. Hmm… this sounds familiar:

2277 — Accepts appointment to Academy faculty, moves into San Francisco apartment

This is from Kirk's biography in Star Trek official website. Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan, Jim accepts a job at the Academy. We see it at the start of the second movie, after Saavik takes the Kobayashi Maru test.

Wait, who's the other teacher here? :D

Okay, okay, in that era Jim is an admiral and Spock is a captain, so their ranks are still different, but except for that… They both teach at the Academy. And it's literally what Jim proposed to his love interest Laura in the comic! With my Kirk/Spock goggles on, what I read in that panel is "If Laura and I got married, we could both do this thing that I'm totally going to do with Spock in the future." LOL

Did the comic creators notice the parallel? Probably not. However, we K/S shippers have special skills for finding accidental implications about our ship everywhere, so here it is :)

"Your thoughts, please, Mr. Spock."

I said I had a lot to say about that single panel, so of course I can't skip the last line! A human woman has just proposed to Jim, and what does Jim do? He asks for Spock's opinion. This says a lot about Jim and Spock's friendship, and it's very sweet on Jim's part, but it also makes me think about Jim's love life. What about Jim and Laura's romantic feelings for each other? Does Jim want to spend the rest of his life with her? Perhaps the reason they don't talk about it (not even with Bones!) is that it's implied that Jim loves her and she loves him, even if they never say it. However, I still think it's interesting that Jim's discussion on the matter is mostly "logical".

Anyway, I swear I won't post every single panel of this comic, but Spock's reply is an absolute gem you all must see:

"I AM SOMETHING OF AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT OF JAMES T. KIRK."

(dkjflsdjlkdjglk brb losing my mind again)

Ahem. Okay, Spock. Noted. Also, wow, nice make up. Did I say that the art in this comic is great? Good.

"I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness."

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I find interesting his use of "equal status" instead of the more specific "equal rank". Status makes me think less of their official position in Starfleet, and more of how two people actually see each other. It's not just about Laura and Jim being both captains; it's about them seeing each other as equals.

Anyway, Jim jokes about Bones and Spock finally agreeing about something, and the conversation continues.

Jim's best friends are both encouraging him to marry Laura. In this panel, I zoomed in on Bones because his words are especially interesting. Based on everything we've seen so far, it looks like having a romantic partner when you're in Starfleet is a pain in the ass in general in this comic; however, Bones is pointing out that for the first time, Jim has someone who really understands. Of course, that's because she's a Starfleet captain too.

About Spock, I won't share the entire conversation, but I just want to say that as a K/S shipper who likes to think Spock is secretly in love with Jim in this era, I find his dialogue where he's supporting Jim's relationship with Laura totally reasonable. It's important to remember that this comic takes place close to the end of the five-year mission. We know that Spock is going to run away after that, trying to erase all his emotions in Gol. So, in this specific part of his story, I find pretty in character that he'd tell Jim to find happiness with someone else. That's what he'd do, regardless of his own feelings.

So, Jim knows his two best friends think he should say "yes" to Laura. What happens next?

During a mission, Jim meets his ex Carol Marcus. She is surprised to find out that Jim is considering settling down. This is not completely related to this analysis, so I won't post it, but I found interesting that Carol knows about every single woman Jim dated before he became captain (the only one she doesn't name is Ruth), and she even says "And that woman in 1930, what was her name?" Just… how the hell does she know? LMAO

At least Jim hasn't told her about Miramanee and Rayna (well, technically he doesn't even remember the latter), but seriously, Carol does know a lot about Jim's private life, even if it's clear she doesn't want her or their son to be part of it. (Not really related to this plot, but in case you're confused about the timeline: David is a child in this era; however, he doesn't appear in this story.)

Anyway, this is what she eventually tells him:

So, I like to think that Carol is genuinely trying to help Jim here, because the spiteful ex girlfriend is another thing I don't really want to see in 2020. I want to think that the creators meant well; however, what happens in the story is that, despite Jim not seeing himself outside the captain's chair, and despite his best friends telling him to marry the captain that is just like him… Jim keeps thinking about Carol's words.

He knows from Starfleet that he's going to be promoted to admiral the moment he reaches Earth. What is interesting here is that Jim could refuse the promotion and be a captain with Laura. This is definitely a different situation from everything else I've seen before. It's obvious to anyone who has watched TOS movies that Jim is not happy as an admiral. He didn't really want to be one. He doesn't want to be one in this comic series either (you can see it explored in Star Trek: Year Five main story). However, thanks to The Motion Picture, we also know that he will accept promotion at the end of his five-year mission. This isn't a canon divergence story: the writers can't really change any major event, so they have to work with what canon offers.

What I find interesting is that in this 2020 comic, Jim finds himself in the opposite situation he is in Gene Roddenberry's The Motion Picture novelization from 1979. In Roddenberry's novel, it's mentioned briefly that Jim starts a relationship on Earth with a vice-admiral, a woman that was basically asked to use her charm to keep Jim grounded. Jim could refuse promotion, but he finds himself lost, without his ship, without Spock, and eventually without Bones. So he tries to convince himself that a life as an admiral with a perfect woman by his side will be good for him (it will not; Jim himself will realize a year later that his lover was an "Enterprise-surrogate").

Now, I understand trying to write something fresher and more modern in this Valentine's Day special, but I confess that I find a little hard to believe that Jim would accept a promotion as admiral if the alternative was keeping both a starship AND a wife. Also, let's not forget that Spock and Bones are both telling him to choose the married captain life. So, while I totally get from a writer's point of view that if you can't change canon, you have to work with what you have, I'm also not sure that Carol reminding Jim that he's always wanted to challenge himself is enough to make him doubt everything.

I guess I can sort of see that as part of a bigger problem: Jim knows he can't be a captain for life; during his first date with Laura, as we saw in Part 1 of my analysis, he talks about it.

"I've been thinking lately about whether I could ever stop being a Starfleet captain. Whether I could ever want to. A friend of mine talks about 'infinite diversity'. That applies to the Federation, too. But here I am, only built for one thing."

So, Jim knows he has probably avoided the subject for too long. Carol is forcing him to think about it. And, more implicitly, we could say Spock and his IDIC philosophy are also making him think, even if it's not what Spock would have expected. After all, Spock told Jim to marry Laura (in the comic), and he'll tell him that being a starship captain is his "first, best destiny" (in The Wrath of Khan).

Anyway, Jim eventually decides to meet Laura and talk to her about his personal concerns. First of all, we find out that the two of them haven't called each other for six weeks. Laura is still waiting for Jim's answer, and she didn't want to call him. If you ask me, their lack of communication is yet another a big clue that perhaps getting married is not a great idea.

Well, now Jim is at least trying to talk to her.

Aaand that's how she breaks up with him.

I'm not sure how to feel about this. I mean, in a sense, Jim doesn't say "I decided to be an admiral instead of marrying you", but Laura definitely sees it that way. I think he was genuinely looking for help, but that just proves that Laura isn't the right person for him. Why marrying someone you can't communicate with? They are such a great team as captains, but it looks like that doesn't apply to their relationship. I pointed out other clues in the previous parts, and now we got this. It's interesting to see that Jim in this comic can have a normal conversation about his future with Spock, Bones, and even Carol Marcus, but not with the person he's supposed to build a future with. Unless something changes between them, it can't work out.

Anyway, this isn't the end.

A year later, when Jim is an admiral on Earth, there's a sudden emergency. A miniature black hole appears out of the deep structure of the universe (don't blame me for the science, I'm literally quoting the comic LOL) and it's attracted to Earth gravity. Short story: they're all going to die, but fortunately the Drake (Laura's ship) can cause an anti-matter implosion that will shunt the black hole outside their reality. Unfortunately, that also means the Drake will have to go inside the black hole. Laura evacuates her crew and asks Admiral Kirk to give her the order to proceed. Reluctantly, Jim tells her that he knows she'll do it, and he gives the order.

Now, please appreciate The Motion Picture aesthetic:

Okay, I know I could have chosen a panel with Jim and Laura, since this is literally their love story, but I did say this analysis was going to be biased, so here is Laura with her two closest friends instead; they would never let her risk her life alone! <3 They are very obviously meant to be a parallel to what Spock and Bones are to Jim, which is very cute to see. Now, Laura, listen to me: I know the three of you have different ranks, but you may die in a few seconds… And I just think that the few times your friends appear in this comic, you have a lot of chemistry with them, sooo maybe you should forget about Jim and just smooch one of them, or both… just saying :)

Ahem. Anyway, after Laura and her girlfriends disappear into the void, there's another timeskip. This time it's 15 years.

Oh, damn.

I said in the premise of this analysis that one of the reasons I decided to read this comic despite shipping Kirk/Spock is that, in my headcanon, Kirk and Spock get together after The Motion Picture. Until this point, this comic hasn't really gone against my headcanon. I can genuinely believe that Jim had another girlfriend during his five-year mission; it's not a big deal. Unfortunately for me, this comic has its last part taking place around The Final Frontier era. Dammit.

Well, it's just one comic. I read until this point; it'd be illogical not to read until the end, right? Nah, it's not logic. It's human curiosity. I know I won't like it, but I still want to see it.

Also, if there's something that I really don't want to see in modern media anymore, is female characters dying just to make male characters suffer. I can accept that in TOS show because it was made in the 1960s, but even TOS movies got better about it! Characters like Saavik and Gillian can have their own lives without having to die for a man's pain. It's not a coincidence that the writers had to kill Spock to make Jim suffer. Without digressing too much, I just wanted to say that K/S bias aside, I went into this comic hoping to read something different from another dead woman for Jim. I'm very glad that, at least about this, the comic creators didn't disappoint me!

So, in this story, it's been 15 years since Laura's disappearance (actually, it should be more, but I'll try not to nitpick, despite being the trekkies' favorite hobby :D). Anyway, the one with the whales The Voyage Home happened, and Jim is not an admiral anymore. He's happy to have a starship again, but he hasn't stopped questioning his life decisions.

We can also see that, 15 years later, he's reading the book Laura liked.

HOLD IT! WAIT WAIT WAIT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? WHAT THE--

*inhales deeply*

(Friendly reminder to myself that what is obvious to me may not be obvious to everyone else, so I need to explain. Fine. I'll try.)

The screenshots I posted are from The Wrath of Khan, right after Spock's funeral. What Jim is doing there is reading the end of the book that Spock gave him for his birthday. He's mourning Spock.

In the comic panel, Jim has a new pair of glasses, because it takes place a little later in the timeline. But, except for that…

It's the same scene.

The same fucking scene.

I mean, come on! I can't even post the "they're the same picture" meme, because it's not funny if they're literally the same picture! Even the bookmark is the same!

The comic creators literally took a canon scene about Jim reading Spock's book after Spock is gone, and they redrew it with Jim reading Laura's book after Laura is gone. In a Valentine's Day special. Where Laura is Jim's love interest. They made a romantic scene with Jim and a woman that was originally about Jim and Spock.

(Brb, I'm going to chew a pillow until I calm down.)

So. Well. If you wondered why I thought there was something about Kirk/Spock in this comic… you have your answer. Perhaps the artist didn't think anything about it. I certainly do.

And I guess someone could say, "But Jim is still reading Laura's book 15 years later! That's true love!" Why yes, he's not reading Spock's book 15 years later, because he didn't stay without Spock for 15 years; he risked everything and lost all the most important things in his life to save Spock's soul.

Anyway, back to the comic. Starfleet receives a signal from the edge of Federation space. It's the Drake. Laura and her friends are alive.

Jim and Laura have a reunion after a long separation. Since they're both captains now, Jim thinks they are given a second chance.

Oh, whoops.

It's her turn now. It looks like being away for 15 years has changed her (as you can expect, honestly), and she's now glad to become an admiral. In this comic, that means Jim can't marry her. So, this is how the story ends:

So. Um.

This isn't a bad ending, but I also wouldn't exactly call it a happy ending. It's certainly not a happily ever after story. I'd call it open, maybe hopeful? Honestly, pretty much what I'd expect from a love story between an original character and Jim, so I can't say the writing is disappointing about that.

On the other hand, I can't personally imagine middle-aged Jim being so eager to start a romance again with someone he hasn't seen in 15 years who broke up with him 16 years ago. Perhaps he felt guilty about Laura's disappearance because if he had married her, they would have been part of a colonization fleet somewhere else and the incident wouldn't have happened the same way? Maybe. Personally, I would have found more believable an ending where Jim asks her to have dinner together or go for a walk, and then something romantic happening as they get to know each other again. But I can see why the creators wanted to bring up the marriage proposal again, just to close the circle. The comic is just 32 pages, so they did what they could.

"Unless there's someone else." "Not so much. I've been really busy."

Busy with what? Oh, right: Spock's death, Spock's body on Genesis, Spock's rebirth on Vulcan, the time travel (okay, that one wasn't 100% Spock-related), Spock's brother… Honestly, just say there's been a lot of Spock in your life, Jim, because that's the truth :)

On a more serious note, I guess that dialogue could mean that Jim has someone, but "he's been too busy" to do anything serious with them. However, as a K/S monoshipper I don't really like the idea of Jim being in an open relationship with Spock, so Jim's character in the entire scene in the end is just a big NOPE for me. Sorry.

That said, I found very interesting that in a few panels they show very clearly the "captain" rank on Jim and Laura's shoulders, to point out that it's the same. They can't be together forever, but they can have fun for a few days as captains. Because of that, I went back to the start of the last timeskip, just to check out something:

Fascinating.

This is a pretty detailed panel, where you can see the ranks on the shoulders of Jim's friends; the colors of their pins are also pretty good, close to the ones in the movies… except for Spock's.

Oh, please. Did you really expect me not to pay attention to this? :)

Captain Kirk and Captain Spock.

And unlike Laura, this is what they are until the end! The end of a very long life! Generations? What's Generations? Spock will eventually become an ambassador, but that's just a different job. How did Spock himself put it earlier in this comic?

"I am something of an expert on the subject of James T. Kirk. And I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness."

Did the comic creators just play themselves? I don't know, I'm quoting their own story here! LOL

And what about Jim's words from the same scene? :D

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together."

Partners. Of equal rank. Working together.

That's literally what Kirk and Spock are since the end of The Voyage Home! Without an expiration date!

The comic creators made a big deal in their universe about relationships being better between two captains, and how good Jim and Laura may have been for each other if they had married as captains; and now they can't have their happily ever after because Laura is going to be an admiral… But even if the comic tries to hide it, we know there is a captain in Jim's life. And to make things better, Jim lost his admiral rank to bring him back. Listen, I'm a huge Old Married Kirk/Spock fan, so there's no way anything can make me forget that in the last TOS movies they're both captains. And there's no way I can forget that Jim risked his entire career (and everything else!) for Spock, and that's literally why he's not an admiral anymore.

This is almost ironic in this Valentine's Day comic. If it hadn't been for Spock, Jim would have still been an admiral, and he could have married Laura. Whoops. Too bad.

Speaking of admirals, I didn't notice it at first, but there's also something about this line Laura says in the last panel I posted…

"And don't you dare 'Admiral' me."

Ah, yes, a typical thing you tell someone you're planning to have sex with. Right, Laura? Agreed :)

Honestly, at this point I should just stop checking this comic, because I wonder if I'd just end up finding a Kirk/Spock version of every Kirk/Laura Rhone line LOL

By the way, I have other thoughts to share now that the story is over, but there's one more thing first. Do you remember the last panels of the comic? Middle-aged Jim and Laura kiss; END.

Okay. After that, the comic has a picture of the cover, with Jim and Laura kissing when they're younger.

And then it has this:

dklsfjlskjflskjlksjlkdlkgjdlfgsnfjekniuwanf LISTEN, HOW--

Just how am I even supposed to say anything that makes sense about this…??? I'm just… I can't…

Okay. So. We're talking about a Valentine's Day comic. It makes sense for it to include a cute Valentine card. I also get that Spock's iconic line has become so mainstream that it can be quoted out of context. And you can make parodies.

But… But… A Star Trek TOS fan can't really forget the original context of "I have been and always shall be your friend"? Someone could just not think about it, I guess… But, well, I know that at least I can't forget that this is literally Spock's line to Jim rewritten in a romantic Valentine's Day version. I can't possibly NOT think about it!

And I know it's very possible that the people who worked on the comic story weren't even aware of this extra, but the fact that I'm seeing this after reading about Jim Kirk's romance without happily ever after… Jim kisses a woman he can't stay with forever, and then there's Spock's "I have been and always shall be your Valentine". It's just so fucking funny. I can't. If I was feeling a little down after seeing middle-aged Jim wanting to marry Laura, now I'm laughing again. Thanks, Spock's silly Valentine card. I needed it! :D

Anyway, what did I say about this comic taking things originally created for Kirk and Spock's relationship and making them romantic when they're not about them? I can believe that sometimes it's a coincidence, but this card? Please… In a sense, this is the perfect ending.

---

Conclusions.

I started this comic with a question: in 2020, how do you write a story about TOS Kirk falling in love? I wanted to see this attempt. Overall, I think the creators did what they could. Laura is different from every other woman in Jim's life; they didn't kill her off, and they also didn't force a happy ending. I think they did a good job with the canon limitations they had, especially in 32 pages.

Do I believe that Laura could have been a good match for Jim in different circumstances?

As a temporary girlfriend? Yes.

As a lifelong partner? No.

Of course, I'm aware my answer is biased, but I can try to be a little more "logical" about it.

First of all, I think that the comic itself supports my interpretation: of course, like in every story, different people are going to see different things; however, as I already pointed out, Jim and Laura never say that they love each other, and before the marriage proposal their relationship is pretty casual.

In The Original Series, Jim isn't lucky when it comes to romance because the women he falls in love with can't really understand his nature as a space explorer. Sometimes they can, like in Carol's case, and that's why they break up with him. Laura is the opposite, because she's just like Jim. But here is the thing: I think Laura is too much like him.

What would have happened if Jim had accepted to marry her at the end of the five-year mission? They would have been both captains. On different ships, though. Sure, they could have been part of the same colonization fleet, as Jim says in the comic, and maybe it would have worked for a while. However, would they really have seen each other as much as Jim needs?

I don't know about Laura, but we see multiple times in canon that behind his mask as a starship captain, Jim is definitely more lonely than what someone may think.

First of all, don't get me wrong: in these screenshots from The Naked Time, Jim is single, so of course his attraction to Janice Rand is related to that. It's not the same situation he'd be in if he were married to Laura. Early in the series, he has thoughts about his yeoman exactly because he doesn't have anyone else. Contrary to his fame as a womanizer, TOS Jim in canon always has one woman at a time in his mind, never more.

So, why am I sharing those lines? To show that when Jim is always inside the Enterprise, he does feel lonely. He needs a romantic partner's physical touch. However, we also know that Jim does not want a relationship with one of his subordinates, so Janice Rand and the rest of his crew are off limits.

Laura is good for him because she's part of Starfleet, and not a subordinate. But is that really enough? From what I've seen in the comic, no. At the end of the day, it looks to me that Jim and Laura don't really know how to plan a future together. Perhaps it's because they're so similar, but they don't really think of themselves as a couple, especially Laura. There's Captain James T. Kirk and Captain Laura Rhone; they both love their ships, so they should get married? That's not how it works.

Their relationship is casual. Jim doesn't want to define it. Are they friends with benefits? Are they in an open relationship? Either way, when Laura decides to marry him, she asks around if Jim has someone else, and only after that she asks him. Jim, on the other hand, doesn't talk to her for six weeks after her proposal. He talks to Spock and Bones immediately, but not to her. He even talks to Carol first.

Then, when Jim finally tries to talk to her about his problems, she doesn't listen. Their lack of communication is the cause of their break up.

16 years later, what we see is even worse. It's obvious that Laura has just different priorities. Maybe it's because of what happened to her lost in space, but I'm not sure. If they had married at the end of the five-year mission, would have Laura always refused a promotion to admiral? Would she have tried to get a promotion with Jim? Based on what we see in this comic, it doesn't look likely to me.

Now, as I said, different people are going to see different things, so I'm sure that someone really invested in this romance can imagine that Jim and Laura are really meant to be, and they can get their happy ending after their retirement, or in other ways. However, I admit that Jim and Laura's huge communication issues make hard to me to picture a long happy relationship between them. They should both try to get better, but in those 32 pages there was no hint towards that direction.

There's another thing that makes really hard to find any love interest for Jim as a plausible "happily ever after" option: the stakes. I know that it's just a single comic, so the creators had to focus on a few things; however, I couldn't help but notice that Jim and Laura never really save each other from dangerous situations. They work together as a team, and Jim watches Laura disappearing into the void, but does he do anything about it? Does he try to reach her inside her ship before she disappears into the black hole? Does he try to bring her back from the void? No, he doesn't.

In TOS show and movies, Jim Kirk risks so much for his crew and his ship that a Star Trek fan can't believe that a new woman is the love of his life, unless Jim is willing to do for her everything he does for his friends. And honestly, after The Search for Spock… how can he even come close to do that?

And it's not just about Jim's actions. There's his language too. At the start of the third movie, Jim refers to Spock as "the noblest part of myself". What could he say about a love interest that is as deep as this?

Let's be honest here: the reason it's so hard to write a story about Jim Kirk's true love is that the real love story for him has already been written. You may not see it romantically, but Kirk and Spock's story is absolutely a love story. And when a character has someone he loves so deeply, it's not easy to convince the audience that he could have someone new to love as deeply. In Jim's case, the combination of his personality and his canon life makes it almost impossible.

Anyway, before I end up not so accidentally turning this analysis into a complete Kirk/Spock ship manifesto, I'm just going to mention one silly thing about the Valentine's Day comic. Please, don't take it too seriously, I'm half-joking :)

So, there are two kiss scenes in the story: one when Jim and Laura start to spend a lot of free time together, and one in the last panel. Well, I can't believe Jim isn't holding Laura's shoulders when he kisses her! That's just the basis of the way Jim kisses women! D:

Different Star Trek characters kiss in different ways; it fits their personalities. And because the rest of my TOS posts are probably too gay for these gifs, I'm dropping them as references here:

Sorry, but if Jim Kirk doesn't grab someone's shoulders before a kiss, it just kills my immersion! :P

Okay, a little more seriously: Jim doesn't always kiss women the same way; however, his "shoulder grab" is common enough that you definitely notice it if you pay attention. Because of that, I think it would have been nice to include it in the Valentine's Day comic.

After reading this comic, what kind of person would I consider perfect for Jim?

Well, my answer is obvious. However, I'll try to elaborate.

First of all, this story definitely convinced me even more that Jim can only be really happy with another Starfleet officer (or at least someone who's been deeply involved with Starfleet). He also needs someone who understands him as a space explorer, without trying to keep him grounded. And someone very smart, of course. These are all traits Laura has. But they're just the basis.

I don't think Jim needs someone in command of their own ship as a lifelong partner. As I said before, I can't really imagine it working out. Another starship captain would have their own goals and their own ambitions; that doesn't mean Jim shouldn't marry someone with specific plans for their own career, but I think these plans should keep the two of them close, not on different ships. Jim needs his partner physically at his side; if he could be happy in a long-distance relationship, I believe we would have seen at least one working out in canon. But it's never the case. Working on different starships from the same fleet would be a little better, but in my opinion not enough, unless it's for a short period of time.

And there's also the matter of his partner's personality. Jim is a natural leader; that's why he's so good at his job. I don't think he needs a similar kind of leader as romantic partner. This is just my personal opinion, but I believe they would just fight about everything they disagree about. I think he needs someone calmer in his life, not someone who'd encourage emotional outbursts.

More importantly, he absolutely needs someone he can communicate with. If he can't talk to his partner about everything important, they're not the right person for him. That doesn't mean they can't have disagreements or miscommunication issues, of course, but they shouldn't happen all the time, and Jim and his partner should be able to talk about them and make up.

In conclusion: someone at his side on his ship, smart, calm, trustworthy :)

Now, I know what some of you are thinking about: what about the "no relationships with subordinates" personal rule Jim has? How can Jim be in a relationship with Spock (or anyone else on the Enterprise) if he's everyone's superior officer? Well, first of all, I already said that after The Voyage Home, Jim and Spock are both captains. And before that… I think that Spock in the comic phrased it the right way. Jim can find his happiness with someone of "equal status". I think it's pretty clear, in my opinion, that Janice Rand and Spock aren't the same kind of subordinates to Jim. Just think about it: which members of the Enterprise call their captain "Jim"? Bones, Spock and (occasionally) Scotty. These are the three people I believe are "equals" in private to Jim, no matter their ranks when they're on duty. Because of that, a relationship between Jim and Spock could work pretty well.

By the way, another thing the Valentine's Day comic made me think about is that in TOS movies, Jim sort of does with Spock pretty much everything he does with Laura in this story. Not the same way, of course, but does it matter? Spock is his own person, he's not Jim's copy. That doesn't mean he can't indulge Jim, have fun himself… and try to stop Jim from doing dangerous things "for fun", as an old spouse would :)

Okay, perhaps throwing each other into the water doesn't count as dancing, but it's so much better :D

In conclusion, this is the way I can read the Valentine's Day comic as a Kirk/Spock shipper:

Jim mentions Spock on his first date with a woman.

Jim questions his life choices as he thinks about Spock and IDIC philosophy.

Jim does with Laura everything we see him doing in TOS show, except for playing chess (just the thing he does with Spock).

Jim says Laura and him are a good team in Starfleet because they had a lot of sex (is that true about other people he works well with??)

There haven't been many ladies or gentlemen in Jim's life because he's busy (not because he's not into men, apparently).

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together." Good for your future with Spock, Jim!

If Jim and Laura got married, they could both teach at Starfleet Academy, something Jim is totally going to do with Spock someday.

Mister "I am something of an expert on the subject of James T. Kirk" Spock.

Also, Mister "I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness" Spock, which is actual foreshadowing of his own future status with Jim.

Hey, look at Jim reading a book that reminds him of his lost love! I wonder where I've seen LITERALLY THE SAME PICTURE???

"Don't 'Admiral' me". This is totally not similar to what Jim tells Spock in The Voyage Home, of course.

Hey, we're both captains now! Just for a few days, but isn't that great? I wonder if anyone else is a captain now, and forever? :D

"I have been and always shall be your Valentine". Totally not a Kirk/Spock line, I don't know what you're talking about! :)

Okay, okay, that's all.

As a Kirk/Spock shipper, I won't deny that I'm a little jealous of this Valentine's Day special comic, because I wish we could get something with amazing art like this where Jim is in love with Spock. On the other hand, Star Trek: Year Five comic series has a few scenes about Jim & Spock's friendship that I really liked. Platonic, sure, but good enough for my K/S goggles!

Thank you so much for reading this post until the end! I hope you enjoyed my analysis! Live long and prosper!

[karlachismylife]

Soap for the character ask game plz :)

Do I really need a reason to yap about him? Nah, but I'll take it, thanks :)

If anyone else is interested, I'll be glad to talk about someone else from COD and BG3. The game itself is here if someone wants to reblog!

So. John "Soap" MacTavish.

favorite thing about them

Is "everything" a good enough answer? No? Damn. I guess I'll have to go with his passion. I can tie that to his ADHD, I can tie that to the fact that he's sunshine (and sun burns hot and flares), it doesn't matter - his emotions are bright, run hot, he's impulsive and he feels so strong. I relate to that, I also just like everything bright and flashy. His anger, his loyalty, his sense of justice, his love - they are so big and strong they cannot be contained inside his heart no matter how huge it is. This is what makes him dangerous, this is what makes him vulnerable, this is what makes him so fucking lovable to me.

least favorite thing about them

The fact that he prefers coffee over tea (source: his VA). I'm sorry, I can't stand coffee, my throat literally closes up and stops breathing if I enter some coffee-smelling space and it's not something I can control well (I tried, I swear). So the knowledge that living with Soap would involve the apartment reeking of the forbidden drink, and even worse, kissing him might taste like coffee... it's heartbreaking. I'm training that man to drink tea whether he likes it or not, coffee doesn't do anything for ADHDers anyway.

favorite line

I mean. I feel like using any of Ghoap batner here would be cheating cuz it is very much the best thing ever and also they're bouncing off each other. So I'll go with "Kids, guns and balloons. That's a new one."

It's at the start in Las Almas. I love listening to Soap in general, I love all the Scott-isms he has (even though it seems actual Scottish didn't appreciate those too much), I obviously love the funny lines he has or when he gets angry. But this one just stuck with me. Probably not because it's a Soap line, but because it's a sad line in general (and hits a little too close to home in the current situation).

But also I feel like it's kinda. The fact that I, a 22yo civilian am not actually surprised to see that "kids, guns and balloons" situation (although I am so fortunate to not be witnessing that directly), and Soap, a 26 (I think?) yo SAS Sergeant who ran off to enlist at 15-16 is. It says something about how he views the world, doesn't it? He lacks that cynicism. I've seen people say that veiwing him as a "happy go lucky" guy is incorrect, but I dunno, man. I think if someone who kills people for his job is surprised to see kids involved into crime+politics games, then he's a pretty damn optimistic lad that believes in the good in the world.

brOTP

Soap and Alejandro. There's just something so smooth, straightforward and inherently good about just two men coming to fight for what's right. Also nothing is funnier than Soap's constant cultural shock in Las Almas and Alejandro just chuckling at every silly question Johnny asks. Big brother Alejandro go go go!

OTP

Karlach x Soap for life, everything else is secondary.

nOTP

I reject the concept of nOTP, even the least likely/adhering to my tastes ships are at least interesting to explore. However, I am not a big fan of toxic relationships and such, so something like Soap x Makarov or Soap x Graves would be interesting to look at, but probably upsetting.

random headcanon

He likes the pink Orbit bubblegum, the one that comes in little stripes. His dad used to bring those at the end of the work week, sometimes unopened, sometimes with just a couple pieces left, and Soap stashed them away in his pillow case when he had the willpower not to eat them all at once. His old pillow in his childhood bedroom still smells like bubblegum.

absolutely based on my own life

unpopular opinion

I don't know what's popular to say what's unpopular. But maybe the fact that I think that Soap isn't like a total horndog 24/7? I still think he is pretty horny, more than an average person, but I also think that he's more tactile than anything and that even when he gets a random boner or just is hot and bothered, he can be satisfied with non-sexual touch. But he does not respond well to touch starvation, oh no.

song i associate with them

I am so bad at assosiating songs with characters/ships etc :( I'll be boring and repeat myself for the third time: Ren's "Loco"

favorite picture of them

That comission of him and Karlach I got, duh

But if we're talking ingame, nothing beats him being pretty and doing puppy eyes in that Milena interrogation scene. That hand reaching scene alone has me by the throat.

Thank you for asking about him!! Love youu <3

[mal3vol3nt]

Hey first of all, I love your blog. In a world full of Anti-Aang nonsense. Aang, Kataang and (real) Katara positivity is refreshing to see.

Secondly, Kataang is one of my favorite ships, I love the friends to lovers trope and I think they’re peak friends to lovers. However someone argued that that they don’t work as friends to lovers for a bunch a reasons, namely because we supposedly don’t see much of the friendship part of it and because of Aang acting entitled in EIP.

I personally think that (aside from maybe two episodes) Aang and Katara’s more than friendship feelings for each other were able to exist quite comfortably within their close friendship, namely because they had a strong sense of mutual respect, admiration and appreciation for each other and neither demanded that they like the other back.

What do you think?

This is the post BTW:

https://www.tumblr.com/ecoterrorist-katara/753864289132134400/kataang-friends-to-lovers?source=share

awe thank you anon <3

it’s serious business being out here defending aang and katara from ridiculously shitty fandom takes but somebody’s gotta do it 😮‍💨

——

the claim that kataang doesn’t work as friends to lovers because their friendship wasn’t made obvious enough is INSANEEE. the only way you could possibly come to that conclusion is if you didn’t even watch the show and formed all your atla opinions by reading fandom discourse on tumblr or twitter or tiktok, because the literal first 3 episodes of atla are the set up and build of their series-long friendship

BOOK 1, EPISODE 1: “The Boy in The Iceberg”

Aang: “Will you go penguin sledding with me?”

Katara: [Awkwardly] “Uh, sure… I guess.” -> they end up penguin sledding. it becomes the first thing they do together and it’s literally just them having fun and making each other laugh and smile

—

Katara: “Why are you smiling at me like that?”

Aang: “Oh I was smiling?” [Flattered, Katara smiles back]

—

Aang: “Appa and I can personally fly you to the North Pole. Katara, we’re going to find you a master!” -> knew her for a few hours at this point and was already offering to take her across the world so she could accomplish her dream of being a waterbender

—

Katara: [Happily] “I haven’t done this since I was a kid!”

Aang: “You still are a kid!”

—

Aang: “A hundred years!” [Saddened by his new discovery.] “I can’t believe it.”

Katara: [Squats beside him.] “I’m sorry, Aang. Maybe somehow there’s a bright side to all this…”

Aang: [Cheerfully.] “I did get to meet you!”

Katara: [Smiling warmly at him while offering her hand.] “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

BOOK 1, EPISODE 2: “The Avatar Returns”

Katara: [Protesting.] “Aang didn’t do anything! It was an accident!” / Aang: [Sorrowfully.] “Don’t blame Katara. I brought her there. It’s my fault.” -> selflessly defending each other

—

Katara: [Pleading.] “Grandmother, please. Don’t let Sokka do this!”

Kanna: [Gravely] “Katara, you knew going on that ship was forbidden. Sokka is right. I think it best if the airbender leaves.”

Katara: [Outraged.] “Fine! Then I’m banished too!” [Drags Aang away.] “Come on Aang, let’s go.” -> she’s only known him for a few hours at this point

—

[Zuko fires another blast at Aang, who twirls his staff once again to ward the attack off. Cut to a shot of the villagers, who cower as the flames stream through the air over their heads. Aang widens his eyes in horror at the sight of the frightened villagers and immediately ceases to defend himself.]

Aang: “If I go with you, will you promise to leave everyone alone?”

[After a brief moment of hesitation, Zuko erects himself and nods in agreement. Aang is apprehended by Zuko's men, who take his staff. Katara runs forward as they lead Aang away.]

Katara: [Sadly.] “No! Aang, don’t do this!”

Aang: [Surprisingly calm.] “Don't worry, Katara. It'll be okay.” [He gasps when he is shoved on the walkway. Katara's face contorts with sadness and fright.] “Take care of Appa for me until I get back.”

[Cut to a shot of the villagers looking up at the ship, Aang standing at the top of walkway. Switch to a more up-close shot of him smiling weakly, surrounded by Fire Nation soldiers.]

[Cut to shot of Katara who looks up, tears in her eyes, before changing back to a shot of Aang who now frowns as the bow rises and closes. The screen blacks out as the bow is locked into place with a thud.]

now why do yall think these shots focused specifically on katara’s reactions to aang being taken away rather than sokka’s or literally anyone else? could it be because her and aang had an already formed connection at that point, making her reactions much more pivotal? i think soooo

and i’ve seen people argue that katara was more so worried about her waterbending progress being interfered with rather than worrying for aang himself. and i have a question for the people who think that cause what??

is katara a compassionate and selfless person, or is she someone who is purely motivated by her own gain? is she someone who yearns to see the good in everyone and offers them her kindness, or is she someone who only judges others based on how they can serve her goals? cause she can’t be both

from what canon shows us, she is an insanely compassionate and selfless person. she holds so much anger yet is still able to see the human and hurt in people, even those who have wronged her and done horrific things [re: offering to heal zuko’s scar]. so when she is watching aang—the boy who has simultaneously brought her a taste of fun and hope—be taken away by the same nation that killed her mother, why would she only be worried about her waterbending progress?

BOOK 1, EPISODE 3: “The Southern Air Temple”

[In the background, Sokka is hunched over his rock, clenching his teeth together. Katara shouts calmly with a sad expression on her face. The camera slowly moves in on her.]

Katara: “Aang! I know you're upset and I know how hard it is to lose the people you love. I went through the same thing when I lost my mom.” [Diverts her eyes. Shot switches to a frontal view of Aang, his tattoos glowing and wind swirling around him; his clothes flutter in the storm. Sokka runs over to his sister in the background.] “Monk Gyatso and the other airbenders may be gone,” [Close-up of her as she looks up at him.] “but you still have a family. Sokka and I!” [Sokka opens his eyes and glances at his sister.] “We're your family now!”

this. this is the moment where aang and katara (and sokka—mind you) are permanently intertwined. they were initially able to relate on them both being benders, then it was the realization that they didn’t want to leave the other (katara protesting aang’s banishment and aang remorsefully leaving / katara going after zuko’s ship to rescue him), and now it’s their ability to relate to devastating loss. katara can relate to his grief at finding gyatso gone, and she can understand his turmoil at realizing the other airbenders were not given a more merciful fate. she does what she can to lessen his pain, at least for the moment, and tells him that despite his loss he is still not alone. he still has a place in the world with her and sokka

it is this moment that acts as the foundation for the deep connection her, aang, and sokka have throughout the entire series. they are friends and they are a found family. they care for each other on such a deep level. kanna says it herself in episode 2, “You both found him for a reason. Now your destinies are intertwined with his.”

and this connection does not lessen throughout the rest of the series, if anything, it gets stronger as they go through harrowing misadventures together and are forced into life-threatening situations where one or two of them have to work quick to save another’s life. if yall seriously think that them arguing/disagreeing or not being on the same page regarding emotional moments in their journey is a sign of their friendship not being strong then you’re actually just intentionally being obtuse

——

ive touched on my thoughts on the ember island players episode before and the whole interaction that went down between aang and katara during the intermission, but i don’t mind reiterating and maybe expanding on it a little

before i can dive in, we all gotta be in agreement that the eip play was yes, a satire meant to poke fun at the fandom, but was also an in-show racist and propaganda-filled depiction of the characters

outside of the show’s canon, aang was played by a woman to make a joke about how women always voice little boys in media. but in the show’s canon, aang being played by a woman was… say it with me, RACIST!! think about it, a play made and created for a fire nation audience chose to cast the sole survivor of a genocide their nation executed as a woman—fire nation sexism coming through hot—and portrayed him as ditzy. (and yes, i know that some male characters are often played by women because women are lighter and therefore easier to lift to portray flight—take peter pan for example—but this is clearly much more than that and i beg yall to not act obtuse in my replies/reblogs.) let’s not pretend like this casting choice wasn’t also an intentional slight at aang as not just the avatar but as an airbender. this is further emphasized when people laugh at aang being revealed as a woman. when colonizers decide to portray their victim as ditzy and incompetent in a play, don’t you think that’s a tell of the racist propaganda they’ve been fed by their nation? hmmm… i certainly think so. so when yall get mad at aang for his clear displeasure at being played by a woman, i beg yall to apply some critical thinking before just deciding to label him a sexist

katara’s character was also a racist portrayal. colonizers depicting their victim as a busty, sexualized crybaby who enters a relationship with their banished prince, and then having her vocalize that she could never be with the avatar, another victim of their colonialism, because he is like a brother to her. why do you think they would portray katara like this and have her say that specific line? could it be propaganda and some sort of racist fantasy to see a water tribe woman dress so provocatively and behave so helplessly? and then, in an effort to take another shot at aang’s legitimacy as a male (because again, aang and the airbenders did not follow normal gender conventions that were clearly present in the fire nation), they have the helpless water tribe character deny she could possibly have feelings for the likes of him and fall into the arms of fire nation royalty. hmmm, now why would colonizers perform a play where a colonized, marginalized woman enters a relationship with her colonizer? probably because it would be more entertaining—and dehumanizing—for their audience to witness a fetishized version of her entering a relationship with their prince. because regardless of his banishment, zuko is still of fire nation royalty and is, compared to aang and katara, of superior blood. give me a fucking break

i implore yall to use critical thinking when discussing why aang would have such a large reaction to a play that is consistently taking a shit on him as the avatar and, more importantly, as an airbender. cause yall do such a disservice to yourselves when you downplay aang’s reaction to him just throwing a jealous tantrum cause his character didn’t get to kiss katara’s character in the play

now onto their interaction:

BOOK 3, EPISODE 17: “The Ember Island Players”

Aang: “Katara, did you really mean what you said in there?”

Katara: “In where? What are you talking about?”

Aang: “On stage, when you said I was just like a ... brother to you, and you didn't have feelings for me.”

Katara: “I didn't say that. An actor said that.”

Aang: “But it's true, isn't it? We kissed at the Invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together. But we're not.”

Katara: “Aang, I don't know.”

Aang: “Why don't you know?”

here, aang is wanting some kind of clarification as to where katara stands on their relationship. he isn’t demanding that she feel the same as he does. he just wants to know for sure if there’s anything there considering they’ve kissed and nothing has risen from it. yes, he is obviously sad and dejected, but he is not demanding that katara return his affections. he just wants to have the conversation

(also, note how when aang brings up the actress saying that aang is like a brother to her and she has no feelings for him, katara chooses to deny that she ever said that rather than to simply take that as an opportunity to let him down had it been the actual truth. likely because it isn’t true—she does have feelings for him—but doesn’t want to take that jump yet)

Katara: “Because, we're in the middle of a war, and, we have other things to worry about. This isn't the right time.”

Aang: “Well, when is the right time?”

Katara: “Aang, I'm sorry, but right now I'm just a little confused.”

[Aang tries to kiss Katara.]

Katara: “I just said I was confused! I'm going inside.” [Exits the balcony.]

Aang: [Frustrated.] “Ugh, I'm such an idiot!” [Puts down his head on the balcony railing.]

here is where them being on two different pages becomes very obvious. aang wants clarity on their relationship whereas katara is unable to and hesitant to give him that because of everything going on around them. she is worried about the outcome of the war and doesn’t want anything to distract either of them from the bigger picture. a valid concern to have, mind you

allow me to bring up the crossroads of destiny for a moment. we all know what happened there: aang unlocked all his chakras and katara watched in awe as he, in the avatar state, rose above them all. she then watched in absolute horror and heartbreak as he was struck with lightening and fell—dead. she, in a hurry, created and rode on a large wave above the dai li to get to aang quickly, catching him in her arms and sitting brokenly on the floor, tears falling down her face. azula and zuko approached them and katara made no move to fight against them, her arms being preoccupied with aang’s body and her mind all over the place after watching her best friend die. had it not been for iroh’s interference, i’m sure it would have been the end for both aang and katara

outside while on appa, katara holds aang delicately to her as she gives him the spirit water and then proceeds to let out a sob as she hugs him to her. when aang groans, she gasps and pulls from him slightly, laying him down against appa’s fur so she can see his face. he opens his eye briefly, smiling at the sight of her and katara beams. her face is the definition of pure joy and relief

now what was the reason aang had to master the avatar state midst battle? why were his chakras not fully unlocked at that time? he left to go save her. he had been in the process of letting her go before he got distracted by the vision of her in danger and had promptly turned away. it wasnt until the battle with zuko and azula was coming to a defeat that he knew he had to master the avatar state now. which led to azula shooting him while rising in the avatar state

obviously, katara wouldn’t be aware that this happened, but the message was still clear. aang’s feelings for katara had gotten in the way of him mastering the avatar state at the safety of the eastern air temple, interfering with his destiny and leading to him mastering it whilst in the midst of battle—resulting in the death of the avatar. katara refusing to enter a relationship with aang or even to have that important conversation with him before the end of the war due to her fear that it’d be a distraction was real and valid

not only that, but katara had already watched him die before and was lucky to have the spirit water at hand. if aang were to get fatally injured anytime between then and during the battle with ozai, there’d be nothing to bring him back. he’d be gone permanently. it’s no wonder why katara was choosing to put all her energy and focus into ending the war because any distraction or moment of weakness could’ve meant the end for aang, who was the one destined to either stop the war or die trying. it was truly life or death for him, so of course katara chose to put anything not pertinent to the war ending on the back burner

aang, on the otherhand, had died during the crossroads of destiny without telling her how he felt. he was so close to leaving the world without letting her know how much he cared for her that he didn’t want to make the same mistake again. therefore, he thought it better to reveal all his cards to her which she obviously wasn’t ready for. he wanted to be in love and bask in whatever time he had with her left if the worst case scenario became reality

unfortunately, this disconnect in their approaches to what happened back in ba sing se resulted in them stepping on each other’s toes and behaving awkwardly around each other, with aang dejected at the lack of clarity on her feelings and katara avoiding the conversation due to her own confusion at the mix of her feelings—having feelings for him but also being fearful of being with him for the reasons stated above. this culminated in aang misreading the situation, as they’ve kissed spontaneously before, and kissing her during this interaction. katara gets rightfully upset, leaves, and aang groans in frustration at himself for being such an idiot

aang made a stupid, stupid mistake and no longer pursues her after this interaction. their difference in approaches to their feelings has met its culmination and now they’re at a standstill. aang does not demand—nor has he ever demanded—that katara be with him. the conversation about where they stand with each other is dropped, as now both of them must focus on sozin’s comet.

at the end of “Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang”, katara and aang share a final kiss. before that, aang goes outside the jasmine dragon by himself to gaze upon the setting sun. katara follows after him and aang gives her a smile. the two embrace each other, opening their eyes to gaze longingly at the other before separating to look at the setting sun together. katara then turns to aang, aang turns to her in return. she leans in and kisses him, cupping his face, and aang kisses back. he leans into the kiss and katara wraps her arms around his neck

katara was the one to take the initiative in their final kiss. she was the one to start their post-series relationship, which we all know resulted in marriage and 3 children

——

kataang does fit the friends to lovers plot line since they started off as friends with intertwined destines and became more. it just so happened that they developed feelings for each other during the course of their adventures, and these feelings clashed with the realities of the war they were at the frontlines of, resulting in miscommunications and mistakes

now, you don’t have to like kataang. that’s completely fine, but to suggest that they don’t fit a trope that they’re literally the definition of is crazzyyyy. cmon, please just watch the show before forming your opinions

[thelunarfairy]

Hello! How are you? I'm Brazilian too! Nice to meet you! I love your analyses!

I really like your thoughts on the problematic relationship between Hanako and Tsukasa! Even though I find it a bit strange that so many people feel excited about a possible 'incest'.

Usually, most people believe that Amane and Tsukasa had a victim and abuser relationship. They think Amane murdered Tsukasa because he couldn't take the abuse any longer.

But I believe it was the opposite, to be honest. I think Amane was the problematic one. Tsukasa seemed very happy and with lots of friends during Omen Arc. Amane always seemed distant from everything and everyone.

I genuinely think that the twins relationship was really good. But It became very problematic with time, and Amane became obsessed with Tsukasa in some way. Perhaps this obsession led him to kill Tsukasa.

PS.: I doubt 'God' would have punished Hanako to become a supernatural if his crime was simply an act of self-defense. That's why I really believe Amane isn't completely innocent!

I would really like to hear your thoughts about this 'abuse' theory. A lot of people believe that Tsukasa is just a manipulatice monster and that really annoys me. I genuinely believe that their relationship wasn't simple and could indeed have been romantic and really intimate. However, I don't think Tsukasa would truly be capable of hurting his brother simply "for the pleasure of doing so."

Yeeeeeey another Brazilian for the team! \O/ Happy to know that you are Brazilian Anon ^^

The twins' relationship is particularly fascinating, the unknown that hangs over them, like a gray cloud that doesn't allow you to see beyond the limits, is mysteriously curious.

It makes people have all kinds of ideas about how this relationship works, and one of those possibilities is the romantic side of things. After a while, you get used to the fact that there is always a group in the fandom that will ship taboo couples, forbidden couples, the twins fall into this.

I tell you that the first theory I found about JSHK was about abuse. The evidence makes it have a certain meaning, after all, if it hadn't, it wouldn't have spread and been known by so many people.

The panic reaction when seeing Tsukasa, breaking into a cold sweat, being embarrassed, blushing, the image of Tsukasa about to bite Hanako's ear while he is tied up and defenseless, the injuries in suggestive places, such as the neck, mouth, rope marks on the wrists, and Hanako's words "I forgave, even if it's unjustifiable"

And of course, the fact that Hanako is perverted in that way, generally (in some cases, not all) people who have suffered sexual abuse tend to have more intense desires than ordinary people, again, it depends on the victim, it depends on the person. Each of them reacts in a different way, but this is one of the possible consequences.

All of this is evidence, it turns out that evidence tends to lead us down several paths, and that of abuse is one of them. Don't rule out this theory yet, let's keep it close, it may not have been Tsukasa, but something happened.

That said, let's think about the evidence we have now. Lately we have had more and more presence with Tsukasa in a more intimate, more personal way, we saw part of his childhood, and we discovered his altruistic side, as well as his innocence in certain situations.

Tsukasa is a very intelligent boy, but he still acts like a little boy. You can clearly notice that he is not as mature as Hanako, he has a certain level of undeniable innocence.

And this is where we see the abuse theory break down. We saw in the last chapter that he was surprised to discover that Amane wanted to do perverted things, Tsukasa also believed that kisses tasted like lemon, which means he hadn't kissed anyone before (maybe), I could mention many other situations, but the answer would be too long.

You see? Nothing strange here.

That's because we're targeting the wrong person. Exactly, we have to target Hanako.

Amane seemed to have a big problem that he was having trouble solving, something that tired him, something that seemed like a dead end, and this was reflected in his eyes. It wasn't a matter of him being unfriendly, there was something going on that made him that way.

Amane didn't care about anyone and didn't want anyone to meddle, he's still like that. Like Hanako, he only cares about the people he likes, the rest is just the rest. Hanako seems to be oblivious to people who don't interest him, have no importance and sometimes no empathy.

But why was he like that? Maybe he didn't want to get involved with anyone so they wouldn't find out what was going on, something that was clearly related to Tsukasa.

Amane appears to love Tsukasa the same way he loves Nene. Hanako has been troubled lately trying to save Nene's life at all costs, he didn't make the best choices for that, but he did, and the more he fails, the more tired he seems to get.

There is the idea that Amane was destined to die from the beginning, but Tsukasa sacrificed himself in his place. So, maybe he tried to change that, considering the idea that he must have found out about it, at some points we saw Tsukasa asking if Amane wants him to stay or leave, he is the one who has to decide.

So, it seems like it has something to do with this sacrifice thing, trying to save Tsukasa's life, that's because Amane hates himself, he doesn't care what happens to him, he just wants Nene to live, so, Who can guarantee that he didn't already feel this way when he was alive?

"My brother died because of me"

Perhaps, Amane's love became "different" when he discovered what Tsukasa did for him. Hanako isn't one to resist when he discovers that people do something for him, care about him, we see this with Nene all the time, and we also saw that Tsukasa did three times as much for Amane.

Maybe he fell in love with Tsukasa, but because it was wrong, he suppressed that feeling with all his might. But, we know how jealous and possessive he is, seeing the way he talks about Tsukasa having friends, almost like a disregard for it.

It's hard to talk about this when we haven't seen much about them. But lately, this idea is the one that's been floating around in my thoughts.

An older brother who fell in love with the younger one and tried to hide it at all costs, the more he discovered or spent time with the younger one, the more intense it became. The fear of suddenly losing his brother again may have made him insecure, clingy, possessive.

What types of desires did Hanako have for Tsukasa? What kind of things did he think to the point that he had to hide it at all costs? Why when Tsukasa found out that he wanted to do perverted things did Hanako for the first time act extremely embarrassed?

Passion, desires. Tsukasa has a more innocent love, perhaps he can be in love too, he compares himself to Nene when she confirms that she loves Hanako in a romantic way. But, it turns out that maybe he doesn't quite understand what kind of love he feels.

So, that's what it implies, a forbidden love that was stifled until Amane couldn't take it anymore.

Of course, we have to consider that Amane may have killed Tsukasa with the intention of killing only the creature, so a duality.

The abuse theory became weak after we found out about Tsukasa's more innocent nature, but that's no guarantee of anything.

It is a theory with logic that is applicable in some senses, but which is falling apart.

Maybe?

[fan-goddess]

For your kinktober requests, I just think that Ettore + breeding… 🙂

Authors note: I see exactly what you mean! Though I’ve gone more canon Ettore with this as a test, and I sort of am satisfied? I kinda went less breeding than I wanted cause I went with reader POV rather than Ettore who trust me is a lot more vocal in his head than in person. Still, I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: P in v sex, breeding kink, SA content, very dubious consent, dirty talk, tread lightly with this big warning bellow (if I miss anything important you think I should add let me know)

Taglist: @arcielee, @sylasthegrim, @sofiyathecunt , @marvelgirl123, @blue-serendipity, @valeskafics, @humanpurposes, @watercolorskyy, @mochi-rose, @omgbrcat,

THIS IS A DARKER FIC THAN THE ONES I USUALLY WRITE, SO PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION BEFORE YOU READ

The ship was lonely as hell, but that fact was nothing you hadn’t already figured out before.

Relationships were strictly forbidden, by the orders of Dr Dibs. The woman said it was due to the fact it’s interfere too much with her research. Although, it also could’ve easily been due to the fact she’s just a psychotic cunt who wants everyone to be as miserable as she is. Anyone with eyes could see that she herself was making eyes at one of the men named Monte. Yet no matter how many times he seemed to deter himself away from her, the bitch never seemed to take away the idea of no as an option.

Though it seemed Dibs wasn’t the only one who didn’t understand the whole no relationships of any kind business.

There was also Ettore.

Ettore, whatever his last name was, was to put it simply, a perverted creep. His eyes would rake over your body everytime you entered the same room as him, and he’d always have this smug smirk as his face whenever you caught him.

What was worse however than hating it, was actually thinking about his smug face in the box whenever you got the urge to. Thinking about him smirking in the skin of your neck as you bounced on his cock, made your skin flush in embarrassment and your mind reel in lust.

You were content though. Living in the sweet ignorant bliss of your thoughts practically everyday. Until one afternoon, that bubble of ignorant bliss was popped by none other than Ettore himself.

It was an unknown day as you were leaving the box. The outside was always dark. For all you knew you could’ve been awake at 2AM and going to bed at midday. Yet still, you already knew you’d never forget this day, no matter the darkness.

“Going somewhere?” The sudden noise made you jump in shock as you grip you chest in fear. Yet when you turn around to accuse whoever scared you, the words die on your tongue as you made eye contact with those same predatory eyes you recognised all too well. Ettore.

“Just, just to the games room.” You stutter. It’s not a complete lie. You needed something to distract you from the horrors of a life you’ve lead yourself to live. Who knows… maybe a beaten up rubix cube could fix that need…

“Hm…” You hate how your body somehow has a physically reaction to that noise. The heated flush you can feel in your cheeks makes you feel almost coy for the first ever since you were forced on the hell like ship.

“Well, that doesn’t sound right. Though what’s good for me, as I think you’re lying right now…” His voice feels like it’s dripping with venom, and his eyes hold the same glint predators have when they successfully manage to trap their prey.

You try to move past him, to get to the ladder to escape this version of hell. Yet as soon as you get close enough to him, his hands grab at the skin of your arm and push you to the steel walls of the room, his face so close to yours that you could practically feel his warm breath on your face.

“What the-“

“You were moaning my name in the box princess…” As he said this, the single hand that he wasn’t using to subdue you was being used to practically fondle your body firmly and without regret. When he gets to the swell of your breasts, a sharp hiss is released when his fingers roughly tug on your chest through your thin shirt. “Needy cocktease…” He groans as he gropes you.

“Please stop…” You whisper, your heart racing like a fish caught in a corner by a shark.

“No. I don’t think I will. Needy cockteases always want it in the end…” He doesn’t stop to ask if you want this as he pulls down your trousers and pants in one rough tug, and when you try to turn your head away and get some leverage to run, a hand of his rough grabs at the skin of your throat and squeezes carelessly in a warning manner.

He doesn’t seem to care when you begin to gasp and cough from the lack of air. If anything, it seems to make the bulge that pokes into the skin of your leg harder.

“I’m going to fuck you now. And when I cum, I’m going to do it deep inside of you so it takes root. And when that fucking bitch of a doctor looks at you, it’ll be too late for her to stop it. When I’m done with you, you’re going to be fucking dripping of me, and you’re going to take it like a good whore.”

His words make the hair on your neck crawl from a mixture of horror, disgust, and self-loathing at the fact a part of you is enjoying this treatment. It’s that same part of you can’t stop yourself from nodding in agreement at his words.

You can’t bring yourself to look at him when he brings down his own loose shorts, nor can you bring yourself to give him the satisfaction of a reaction when he thrusts himself inside of you.

Yet even so, a sharp hiss you can’t stop yourself from releasing is let out into the skin of his neck when he practically begins to fuck you.

His murmurs are illegible, and yet still they somehow sound so loud. You don’t even have to actually listen to know what he’s saying. His words from earlier and his body language says it all.

His hands focus no more on subduing you, to your relief, now that you’ve practically gone limp in his arms. Instead, they grip so hard on your hips you already know they’ll leave visible bruises no later than tomorrow morning.

No preparation was really needed given the fact you were fucking yourself on a fake cock not even half an hour ago. Yet even still, it’s a strange sort of thrill you feel when you realise your body accepts him. That even though your brain is screaming at you to tell him to stop his assault, your body is clinging tighter with a degree of roughness you never knew you had.

“Ettore please” You have no idea what it is your begging for at this point. Your brains too far gone to tell if this has become a cry for help or a cry for more. Either way, Ettore listens with a selective ear.

His cock slams inside of you harder, and the grip he has on your hips somehow tightens as his hand manoeuvres to press at your lower stomach, where you can practically feel his cock hitting your sweet spot with a wanton cry.

You can feel the fiery hot feeling of pleasure trickling down your spine, and when you try to tell Ettore you’re close, all you the noise you can make is a pathetic whine.

“Aw… is my little whore drunk on my cock already? Are you gonna cum is that it? Is that why you’re mewling on my cock like a kitten? Well good for you kitten, cause the feeling of your tight cunt is gonna make me cum. And I know exactly where I’m gonna do it… stuff all of it in you till your dripping.”

Your brain finally kicks in as you beg for him to stop. To give you mercy. But all he replies with is a devilish smirk and a sharp slap to your confined tits as you cry out.

“Don’t you dare tell me what to do…” He says with a dark glare.

When you cum on his cock, a strangled noise you didn’t even realise came from you is released for all to hear. Yet it’s released time and time again as Ettore continues to use you for his pleasure.

Your whimpers louden as your nerves practically catch alight with pleasure. Your whole body feels as though it is on fire as it burns with overstimulation, and yet when it is quenched by another orgasm, you almost wish for it to be let alight again.

With a groan though, you can feel Ettores body stiffen as he cums inside of you, and his hand pushing almost painfully on your womb. As if to try and feel where his seed fills you to the brim.

When he eventually releases your body from his hold though, the exhaustion hits you suddenly, and you slump against the wall to not fall to the floor.

You watch Ettore in silence as he puts his softening cock back inside of his shorts, before barely looking at your still half naked body.

“I’ll see you soon. Can’t let you go unfilled for too long…” He smirks, before walking and climbing up the ladder, leaving you all alone.

You continue to stand there in silence, and a shudder of a breath you didn’t realise you were holding escapes you as his spent leaks from your cunt down your thighs.

You place one of your hands where he held you so intently, and you find you can still feel the warmth of your where his touch lingered on your skin.

Maybe that is what it’ll be like now with your new found relationship with Ettore? A constant state of burning…

[grey-gazania]

I'm sorry someone bombarded you with bitchy comments 😭. While my To Read list is lengthy and continually lengthier (actually I think something of yours with her is on it), I'd like to hear more about Ianneth-Fingon-Maedhros if you want to talk about them.

@polutrope

It wasn't really upsetting, just annoying and honestly a little bit funny. This guy left comments on all six chapters of By Love or at Least Free Will, every time I updated the story, just objecting to the entire premise of the story and ranting about how Elves have incorruptible pure souls and are immune to lust. I was sorely tempted to respond with this quote from "Laws & Customs Among the Eldar":

Even when in after days, as the histories reveal, many of the Eldar in Middle-earth became corrupted, and their hearts darkened by the shadow that lies upon Arda, seldom is any tale told of deeds of lust among them.

'Seldom' is not the same thing as 'never', and furthermore, I don't think lust is even a major theme of my story. It's more about conflicting obligations and unruly hearts.

In the end I deleted the comments without responding, because I have a personal policy of not engaging with people who are acting in bad faith. But I have to assume that this guy has no actual hobbies if he spends his time hate-reading entire stories instead of just...closing the window and moving on with his life. Maybe take up crochet, bro? Or volunteer at a soup kitchen? Watch a TV show that you like? Grow some tomatoes? Do something that will be more fulfilling than typing long screeds on AO3. I promise it will make you a happier person.

Anyway. On to the actual topic of your ask! As you've probably noticed, I am very fond of Russingon. However, I am also very fond of Fingon as Gil-galad's father. At first I balanced these two ideas by keeping my Russingon ideas and my Fingon-father-of-Gil-galad ideas in two separate universes, but then I started really fleshing out Gil-galad's mother, and it made me think some thoughts. To repeat something I said to @cuarthol in a comment on AO3:

...half the genesis of Ianneth was seeing so many stories (in multiple fandoms, not just Tolkien) where the woman is written out of a canon or semi-canon couple to make room for a popular M/M ship instead, without the female character being treated with any respect. I decided that the female perspective on that situation would be a nice change of pace and interesting to write.

I'm not trying to point fingers -- I'll readily admit that I have my male faves just like the next gal and that it's fun to make them kiss -- but the wives and girlfriends don't get a lot of love in fandom, do they? And it doesn't help that the legendarium in general tends to be a bit of a sausage fest. So I decided that Fingon would have a wife and be in love with Maedhros. But instead of focusing just on the forbidden love, I was going to focus on the wife's feelings, too.

Ianneth ("bridge-woman") is one of the Northern Sindar, from the community that lives around Lake Mithrim. She's the daughter of Annael (yes, that Annael), whom I've imagined to be one of the more influential leaders among the Northern Sindar, and particularly among the Elves of Mithrim.

Her betrothal to Fingon starts as a political arrangement. Fingolfin loves Fingon dearly, of course, but he's also been hinting for a while now that Fingon really needs to settle down and start having kids so that there will be a strong line of heirs should Fingolfin die. After all, Argon's dead, and Turgon and Aredhel abruptly fucked off to god-knows-where some three hundred years ago and haven't been seen nor heard from since. Your dad needs some grandsons, Fingon, and this also seems like a ripe opportunity to strengthen the Noldor's alliance with the Northern Sindar.

I don't think political marriage is unknown among the Elves of Beleriand. (For one example in the text, see Celegorm trying to marry Luthien to force Doriath into an alliance.) And the quote I drew the title of the aforementioned Fingon/Ianneth story from, also found in "Laws and Customs Among the Eldar," is:

The Eldar wedded only once in life, and for love or at the least by free will upon either part.

Free will could easily mean, "Are we in love? No. But I'll still marry you, for the good of our peoples, and I'll bring some of Dad's soldiers along with me." That sort of thing happened all the time among real-world nobility, so I see no reason why it can't happen among Elven nobility in Beleriand, too.

At any rate, Fingolfin arranges for Fingon to meet the daughters of some of the more powerful leaders of the Northern Sindar, and he's hint-hint-hinting that Fingon really needs to pick one of them to be his wife. Fingon, having been in love with Maedhros since they were young in Valinor, is not exactly keen on this plan. But he goes along with it anyway because he is a dutiful son, he knows that his father is right about needing to strengthen the line of succession, and he also knows that revealing his (quite taboo!) relationship with Maedhros to his father would probably break Fingolfin's heart.

It takes Fingon a while to decide who to court, but he picks Ianneth because he likes her sense of humor; she has the guts to gently tease him at their first meeting, which he finds quite charming. He doesn't think he can love anyone besides Maedhros, but he does look at Ianneth and think, "This is a woman I could grow to care for and whose companionship I think could enjoy."

The trouble begins when, over the course of their courtship, Fingon starts falling in love with Ianneth without falling out of love with Maedhros. And he doesn't know what to do about this. He can't call off the marriage, and he doesn't want to break things off with Maedhros, so he decides to just...keep the whole thing with Maedhros a secret and marry Ianneth anyway. It's not a good decision, but really, are there any options here that won't end with someone getting hurt? I don't think so.

So we have Ianneth, blissfully ignorant of her husband's infidelity (for now); Fingon, in love with two people at once and feeling horribly guilty about it, but unwilling to pick one partner over the other; and Maedhros, resigned to the situation but still hurting because Fingon is no longer his alone.

Maedhros' feelings are complicated by the fact that, once he meets her, he finds that likes Ianneth. It would be easier, he thinks, if he could write her off as just a political necessity for Fingon, but it turns out that she's charming and intelligent and kind, and he can understand why Fingon loves her. His feelings soften further once Ereiniel is born, because Fingon is so happy being a father, and he loves Fingon, so how can he begrudge him that? There's a line from "Famous Blue Raincoat" by Leonard Cohen that I always think of when I'm getting into Maedhros' head at this point:

And thanks for the trouble you took from [his] eyes. I thought it was there for good, so I never tried.

Things tick along about as smoothly as they can for thirteen years, until, in the aftermath of Fingolfin's death during the Dagor Bragollach, as Fingon prepares to send Ianneth and Ereiniel to the Falas for their safety, Ianneth learns his secret. This is understandably devastating for her, and leaves her wondering if Fingon ever really loved her as she loved him, or if his marriage to her was simply a politically expedient sham.

Add to that the fact that she leaves for the Falas less than ten hours after this revelation and spends most of that ten hours either crying or asleep, as she's too upset to really talk to Fingon about what she's discovered, and it leaves her with this horrible knowledge and all the worst thoughts that come from it gnawing at her nearly a full year until Fingon next comes to Eglarest -- time that she spends as the sole caregiver for her young daughter, among strangers in a foreign city, without her mother or her sister or any of her friends who might have theoretically been able to offer her some emotional support.

Theoretically is a key word there, though, because even if, say, her sister had come to Eglarest, Ianneth isn't sure she'd even be able to tell her. For one thing, she can't help feeling ashamed, because infidelity is very rare among Elves, and she can't help thinking that maybe she failed as a wife somehow, and if she'd done something different, Fingon wouldn't have strayed. Then there's the fact that he's the High King of the Noldor, and if this gets out it could cause a crisis in the Noldorin government and possibly tank the alliance between the House of Fingolfin and the Northern Sindar. Ianneth is a practical woman, and she's of the Northern Sindar -- the people who have been living practically on Morgoth's doorstep for centuries, with no Maia queen's magic girdle to protect them. Their alliance with the Noldor is vital, and she would never want to jeopardize it.

So Ianneth is just...completely alone with this pain. She has no one to turn to, no one who can comfort her. And that pain is central to her story, and a not insignificant part of Ereiniel's story, too.

[princessroyal95]

Freedom (Donquixote Doflamingo x Reader)

Warning: This chapter contains sexual content. If you don't like this type of content, don't read on, even if it means you'll lose information about the story.

You know perfectly well that you cannot escape destiny because you are already part of its life. A tortuous life that you never wanted to be a part of. Your parents abandoned you when you were just a child. You have suffered many abuses from other children and from men who only see a simple girl who can open her legs to anyone. You want to die of shame and disappear from the face of the earth. You don't want to live any more and you want someone to strangle you until you see the light and understand that it is time to leave.

You became a slave for the Heavenly Kings. They marked you as theirs and no one could buy you. You were already giving it all away, you were just a toy for those people who think they are untouchable. And one day, while you were in the Sabaody archipelago, your eyes were fixed on a rather handsome boy, with blond hair and a big unforced smile showing how happy he was. You know he is twice your age, but there was something about him that captivated you too much and you are afraid that it is a sin to have wet dreams about him.

You only know one thing and you know that name that anyone who uttered it would be executed. He is a powerful man within the government, just another dog.

Donquixote Doflamingo.

When you knew his name you didn't stop dreaming about him, having wet dreams, wanting to be part of his world full of freedom and not being a slave to anyone else. Only of him. That man full of sins and is a forbidden fruit for any woman. Those girls are too lucky to have him around. I wish luck would fall from the sky, but you have never had hope.

However, one day during the night, you hear someone open the window that gave access to your room and you wake up with some fear thinking that someone was going to rape or kidnap you. And you didn't expect that man in a flamenco coat to appear there as if he were a gentleman about to save his lady. You were impressed, you couldn't articulate any of the impressions. Doflamingo extended his hand as an invitation to free you from that prison. A place that you do not feel happy.

You, without a moment's hesitation, accepted it, being hypnotized for a few moments by the gaze of the Shichibukai. He simply smiles and attracts you strongly to get you out of there in a majestic way: flying through the air. You open your eyes impressed that this man could fly freely through the air, demonstrating that he is a true bird. Perhaps, it is due to his ability, something you heard at that moment. Fatigue overcomes you, so you close your eyes in fear that everything is a dream.

And after a few hours, you are pleasantly surprised to find yourself in a different place than the prison. It was the ship of the pirates of Donquixote, you were in the ship of that famous man. You cowered in your seat, listening to him walk towards you, and it was that man who was ready to raise his hand towards you. You closed your eyes in fear that he would hurt you; however, you never expected Doflamingo to take away that necklace that was a torture for you for many years.

You wanted to cry at that moment. Now you feel free. Before his eyes you were a caged bird who wanted to feel freedom, to have the wind play with your hair and know that you are safe now. He was not going to let anyone hurt you without his consent until you said you would be in his service, that you would be a slave to him.

"No," he replies curtly, leaving you confused, "you will be more than my slave.

You didn't understand those words until you realized why many women want him. He is a dominant man who likes to have in his power everything he desires and he, since he saw you, has always wanted to hold you in his arms and give you all the love you have never had. And when it comes to beautiful ladies like you, he would kill anyone who dared to look at you or hurt you.

You were trained all the way through him to satisfy him as much as he wanted. Do you want to know what his training was? Oh, every time you think about that, you blush and your panties get wet instantly. He trained your body to get used to him and how you should play with him. A long training process that always left you wanting more and wanting to get more. You never reached more. He always left you in that tortuous process that is frustrating for you. Why does he do that to you? Maybe so that you would understand that what he says has to be followed perfectly.

Four weeks of suffering and, in the end, you reached your destination. The place where the great Shichibukai reigned, proclaimed as king of those lands: Dressrosa. How is it possible that this ten-foot man has such a reign? Every time this man surprises you, what he is capable of doing. Although you notice how your body tensions feeling that something is going to happen in that kingdom. You can tell just by looking at Doflamingo who just smiled and kept looking at you. You avert your eyes a little flushed, the man's face was intimidating and it makes you a little nervous. You appreciate how that tall man touches your chin and his fingers are calling for your attention and for you to look at him.

"Tonight will be the big day," he says very close to your face, "I want you to be ready for what is going to happen. His fingers ascend your face, slowly caressing one of your cheeks. "Today you will be mine," he whispers and then walks away as soon as your cheeks have turned pinker than ever.

Your heart has not stopped beating since that man uttered those words: "Today you will be mine". Today will be the day when your wettest dreams will come true, and you will even notice how your throat is drying up as the moment approaches. And the worst thing of all is that Baby 5 has been with you all this time buying you a lace outfit for tonight because Doflamingo asked her to. You just hope it's not too... sexy. You wanted the earth to swallow you up at that moment, since the girl made you try one on and you looked adorable in anyone's eyes. You wanted to take it off, but she stopped you from doing so because she forced you to put on your usual clothes.

You were getting nervous because the time was coming, only a few hours away from going to that man's room. You notice how your panties are starting to get wet every time your thoughts go beyond your imagination. Until, without realizing it, you were biting your lip hard, wanting that moment to come.

And finally, you were already in his room patiently waiting for your lover? You weren't sure, since he said you weren't a slave in his eyes. You are something else to him. A gift from heaven? Lover? Partner? Many words and prayers, and before you knew it, "The Joker" was in the room admiring the great gift in the bed. It was you, that woman who wished to hold her in his arms and free her from that prison of torture.

"What are you thinking about?" You get scared when you hear his voice.

"Nothing," you simply say at that very moment, looking away from him.

"I don't like it when he talks to you, you turn your face away." He was already close to you as he put his hand on your head caressing your hair.

"I can't help it," you confess, looking up at yourself and finding the man helpless. A man who is a sin to touch.

"You are already trained, my little bird." You blush at the sound of that name he gave you a long time ago. "It's time for you to be mine tonight."

And without waiting, he puts you completely to bed, cornering you between the sheets with his legs and arms. You feel small next to her because of the difference in height between the two. And more knowing the nature of Donquixote, a bit dominant that with only the look is able to undress you completely. With so many thoughts you didn't realize that he was already kissing you with some impotence your lips, as if he hadn't tried them for a long time. You groaned softly while you had your hands in his hair pulling strongly.

You laughed knowing perfectly how you were in bed. For him, it was the wick that lights up your heart and your lower self that you were already really wet. He doesn't miss the chance to take off those clothes that were in his way to touch every pore of your skin and, obviously, to see that lace of clothes he asked Baby 5 to make.

He licks his lips at the sight of those sexy clothes for his eyes and also for any man but him. He doesn't even want to think what would happen if someone other than him dared to touch you. He knows deep down that you are not a virgin because of what has happened to you. You didn't have to tell him what happened because he saw every battle, every scar that decorates your body because of those evildoers. He wanted to find them and kill them with his own hands.

You carry your hands to your lace clothes with some shyness almost covering your whole body. Doflamingo smiles seeing that you are still quite shy. His somewhat skilful fingers slowly caress your entire body, exploring every pore of your skin making your lips come out with little sighs of pleasure that made the King of Dressrosa tremble. He loved to listen to you in that way, so submissive to him and his eyes.

He didn't want to take that lace off because you looked so attractive with it, but he wanted to touch those mountains that decorate your chest. And thank God the hook was in front of you so that he could take it off. Your breasts bounced a little when they felt released by that garment and your nipples stood up when you felt the breath of that old man very close to them. You blush even more, remaining a little vulnerable while you feel that tongue that is a little bit too sharp for your body and that you are moaning softly. You want more from him and, as if he had read your mind, one of his hands descends to your lower body, slowly caressing your panties. A sullen laugh appears on his lips alerting you.

"Are you wet already, my little bird?"

"Yes...," you answer bluntly.

"As I like you to be wet for me," he moves that garment away a little, slowly caressing your clitoris; however, his fingers were slipping because of your essence. "Do you want to put it in so badly?"

"Yes.

"The truth is that you are too prepared."She licks her lips again while looking at you. "In fact, I can stick it in you now."

In fact, I can stick it in you now."

"I want him, Doflamingo," you say his name, but he looks at you as if he doesn't want you to call him that in private.

"Have you forgotten what you should call me already?" With his fingers, he opens the folds of your entrance and with one of his fingers he caresses and makes circles in your entrance.

"Please, Daddy."

"That's the way I like it," Kiss your lips again, tasting that sweet and sour taste in your mouth.

And without further ado, he sticks two fingers in where you arch your back in surprise and a great moan escapes very close to his lips. That invasion started to move strongly inside you causing little spasms in your body and you open your legs more and more receiving more and more. That wide smile that decorated Donquixote's face expanded even more, perceiving that you were receptive to his caresses. He has trained you too well during the journey.

He grunts quietly feeling you close those vaginal walls warning that you are about to have your first orgasm that night and he let you free him. He wants to see you more prepared than before because, let's say, his member is not small or medium. Because he is too tall and size matters.

A great vacuum is created in your lower zone while you are trying to recover some air, and with the cloudy view, you see how that man unbuttons his trousers showing his great majestic virility that you only swallow saliva. You have already tried it once in your mouth, too big and with a great thickness that you thought it would never fit in it, but it is possible with training. Besides, you also tried its essence, a bit bitter but addictive.

It holds your wrists to make you turn your body upside down and puts you in a position of four, which makes you blush even more knowing perfectly what their fetishes were. He told you about them and his favourite was this one, because, as we well know, the human is like an animal born from Homo Sapiens. And almost most animals do it this way and for a man it is most exciting.

Without warning, you already notice the size of that limb entering your cavity and releasing a strong moan and, unconsciously, you bite hard on the sheets. It's been years since you've done this and you don't remember how badly it made you sick. However, with him it is different, it feels wonderful that you wished that this feeling of emptiness would not end. Until you feel it moving with some savagery inciting those spasms again. It is as if he already knows every part of you in just a few weeks. That's what you get when you're someone with some experience, right?

You feel his hands resting on your waist wanting to go deeper into the onslaught, listening to every moan for every blow you receive. Your vaginal walls squeeze that great span until you feel it touches a point somewhat unknown to you that you collapse instantly. Doflamingo just laughs internally finding a little button. A little treasure better than the One Piece: the G-spot.

Hit hard that area where you no longer moan, but scream loud and clear. It is as if he wants your sounds to be heard by all of Dressrosa so that everyone knows that you are his and no one else's. And whoever dares to touch you will be a dead man.

And finally, you notice the second orgasm releasing him completely and he does the same releasing his seed inside you. You blush with strength when you notice that hot semen running all over your vaginal area. You bite your lip with some excitement and close your eyes tightly and fall tired.

His hand slowly caresses your hair making you relax a little and fall asleep instantly. You didn't hear his words when you fell into Morpheus' dreams, but you have the feeling that he has marked you for life. You offered your body while he gives you what you were longing for: freedom.

[cerealmonster15]

scuse me i gotta go be embarrassing under the cut brb 🚶

@cosmiccoincidence @felix-the-lemon-king well FUCK ok hi lol 👋

so like images from the engtwst translation that altered my brain forever:

so like. 🧍🙈 URGHGHHHG lol. felix u may have heard some of or all of this tangent before in the dms LOL but

my attempt at long story short: friend and i were into twst well before engtwst came out, so when we saw the official translation translated cater's "leona-kun" to "leona, sweetheart," we were like 🤨sweetheart?🤨🤨🤨 jkslajKLDJL like ik it's a casual thing meant here but. however. you see LOL

longer details: me being how i am as a person™, i let this fester in the back of my brain and it gradually grew out of control. i dont like. theyre not a pair i think of when i think of My Cater Ships. HOWEVER as i do with most leona potential ships(???) they read as exes to me here JSDLFG like. me with my soap opera lenses on [they are never off. sorry.] has me running wild w/this like leona/cater having A Thing of some undefined nature like maybe last year. tapping into cater's implied vibes of not always letting people get super close / used to kinda keeping things surface level and making the most of Being In The Moment and less concerned about making lasting ties bc hes used to stuff not lasting from his moving around etc etc whatever. like cater and leona starting off w/ a bond of just quietly being in each others space [i mean caters a chatterbox LOL im thinkin those rare moments where hes like mask off kinda lethargic or something. caycays such an interesting character w/a lotta mystery in that regard but i do NOT have time to get into that so just!!! bear with me LOL JFKLSDJF]

anyway i feel like i recycle the same plotlines with characters/ocs forever but thats just too bad: cater+ leona bonding somehow dont worry about it. idk leonas a spelldrive star and caters really good at flying so They Could Bond -> somehow falling into like a Casual Lowkey Relationship where theyre like 'we arent DATING dating, no labels and mostly just hang out when no one's around but Something Undefined is happening here. they kiss or whatever lol -> they emphasize w/e they have is strictly casual and 'doesnt mean anything' -> perhaps cater emphasized the 'doesnt mean anything' part more idk -> some forbidden feelings kinda spark anyway but one or both of em are just kinda. ignoring/denying it lol -> ive had a specific image in my brain for a Long Time of like. cater kissing lion boy. then being like ✌️its ok, its just for fun dont worry doesnt mean anything ✌️ -> and like its a mutual neutral feeling At First but like eventually i think their Situation falls apart for one reason or another and theres Tension

^i said takes place the year before the game starts but i think i also had it in my mind toying w/the idea of it as like a SUMMER FLING/ROMANCE(?) that ended RIGHT BEFORE school started. or idk maybe it ended right before they got out for break. WHATEVER.

point is those screenshots are from book 2 which is still pretty early on in the school year so ive got the vibe of like "oh things are still awkward between them, the 'breakup' is still relatively fresh, and leona feels bitter about it and is playing extra hardball with these guys and also harshly teasing them about it bc caters there and hes Emotional but taking it out sports style" lol. and supplementing that Specific Image In My Head^ i imagine in that convo in the screenshots w/cay being like 😔leona sweetheart plz chill😔 leona would just be like 😒well. it 'Doesnt Mean Anything' so whats the problem here 😌 😒

anyway. you maybe didnt really ask for the extra headcanon au lore whatever details but i gave them to you anyway LOL my LeoCay Messy Breakup AU. but i ALSO just like drawing them together bc cay is my fave and fun to draw, and leona is Also fun to draw 😔 my fave character cay + character i have been dragged kicking and screaming to kind of respect over time KLJFSDKLJFL every time leona says or does something that makes me think hes cool or smart i get SO MAD about it. seething at book 6 LOL SJDKLFJD twst with their damn complex characters making me Think Deeply 😒 and then i steal their deep blorbos and put them in my funny little barbie dreamhouse soap opera recycled romance drama plotline loop forever and ever and ev

ahem. so yea on the surface. pair that probs would never ever work out HOWEVER it's MY mind palace and i can make up whatever silly rules i want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ranger-ribbons]

💭 - brainwash my muse into forgetting something, replacing it with a false memory.

Brody/Preston!!

Hmmmmmm.

~~~

Preston doesn't look up from his magic book as Brody walks in. "Ready, Preston?" the Red asks.

Preston shrugs, closing his book and setting it on the desk. "As I'll ever be, I guess. I still don't think this is a good idea."

Brody puts a comforting hand on Preston's shoulder. "It's gonna be okay. If it works, I forget all about Madam Odius torturing me. If it doesn't, I continue coping. No harm, no foul."

"I'm not worried about you," Preston replies. "What if I mess up?"

Brody squeezes the hand on Preston's shoulder. "It's okay, Preston's. I have total faith in you."

Preston sighs. "Okay," he replies. "Let's try it out."

Brody lays down on the couch and makes himself comfortable. Preston's hands shake as he pulls out the old pocket watch and lets the watch drop so he holds onto the end of the chain. Brody watches the watch as it swings slowly from side to side.

"Keep your eyes on the watch. Watch as it swings. It swings back and forth. You're watching the watch." Preston had watched Now You See Me before he tried this, Brody can tell. The Red shuts that thought down before it can break his concentration.

"You're getting tired. The watch is swinging and the hours pass as it does. Very tired. And," Preston clicks his fingers right under Brody's nose at the same time he commands, "sleep."

Brody's world goes dark.

~

Preston startles as Brody's eyes shut and he collapses back against the couch as if someone had hit his off switch. "Oh god," he murmurs, panicked. "Brody? Can you hear me?"

Brody slurs out a, "Yeah," and Preston feels like he can actually breathe.

"Okay," Preston says. He thinks back to the information he has from his spell books on hypnotism. Most sorcerers in the books had considered it a forbidden art. To mess with a person's memory is to commit an unspeakable crime. However, Preston had found a few and he holds to the rules they'd set in place like a life raft. "Brody, your mind is open to you. There is nothing you can't remember, there is nothing hidden from you." Brody makes a humming noise that Preston chooses to take as assent.

"Go back in you memories to the years on Galvanax's ship. Do you remember them?"

"Yes," Brody replies, hushed.

"Good," Preston soothes. He wraps one hand around his arm and rubs his shoulder, trying to soothe himself as well. "Think back to Madame Odius. To her torture and everything she's done. Do you remember?"

Brody makes a pained noise, but replies with an affirmative. Preston wants to reach out and touch him, but the books say not to so the Blue restrains himself.

"I want you to imagine the memories as file folders, okay? Take all those memories and put them into a box. The box is safe. The memories can't hurt you if they're in there." This tactic is mostly born of Preston's hands. His experiences with memories are to put them into a box and shove the box into the furthest corner of his mind. He's sure the therapist his teachers say he should see would love to talk about it. For now, though, Preston's thinks it should work fine here, too.

"Okay," Brody replies.

Preston swallows. "Now lock the box and set it on a shelf."

"Okay."

"This box is forever untouchable to you. You will not remember the contents of this box, when you awaken. You will not remember what Madame Odius did to you while you where on Galvanax's ship. When I snap my fingers, you'll awake with no memory of the box or its contents. Do you understand?"

This is the trickiest part. The hardest to get right. It has to be worded just so, or Preston could mess everything up.

"Yes," Brody replies.

"Okay," Preston says to himself. "Ready?" he asks Brody. "Three, two, one," Preston clicks his fingers again, once more commanding, "Wide awake!"

Brody's eyes snap open and he sits up. "Hey, Presto," he says. "Did it work?"

Preston shrugs. "You remember Madame Odius or her actions on the Warrior Dome?"

Brody frowns. "She didn't touch me on the Warrior Dome."

Preston breaks into a relieved smile. "It worked!"

~~~

@estel-eruantien thank you!

[merryfortune]

Milestones & Upbringings

August 17th: Firsts | Trail/Camping | Forbidden

Title: Milestones & Upbringings

Ship: not applicable | Reiji/Shun/Tsukikage

Series: Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc V

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,230

Tags: Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Family Feels, Fluff

   Tsukikage had never realised that he had taken his upbringing for granted until his private life became entangled with those of Reiji and Shun's. He did not envy the distant upbringings that they were the product of.

   Tsukikage was well aware that his situation was abnormal. Ninja in the modern age gave away many hints of antiquity after all. However, he had never truly appreciated the undercurrent of normalcy it possessed until shown either. The parenting and mentorship expressed by his guardians were well measured and appropriate. The adults in his and his brother's lives were present and wise. The techniques and values were well honed over ventures but remained in touch with modern times.

   Until presented the products otherwise, Tsukikage never realised how truly good he had it until he became the third side of a triangular operation of being a teenage father.

   It was a strange revelation but a pleasant one. 

   To find some purpose in a world which did not require the Lancers anymore now that the future had settled safely. Now, all there was was this peculiar domesticity. Himself, a body guard, unto Reiji and a peer to Shun. The three of them, eventuating towards a halfway nuclear ideal of family, if one squinted, and then Reira. All of them under one roof. It was nice when none of them were being moody about it.

   Akaba Reiji was a decisive youth. He carried himself like an adult and like an adult, he determined his own future, promptly coming to the conclusion that the adults in his life were useless. His Father was a trans-dimensional war criminal. His Mother was little more than a baubled figurehead to both his and his Father’s activities. He wanted neither to have any involvement with the now infant Akaba Reira, his precious baby sister and so, chose a path for them both: one of emancipation.

   Though such self determination was easier said than done.

   And also, Kurosaki Shun was here, too.

   With his sister and his best friend rendered moot by the unification of the “Bracelet Girls” and “Dragon Boys” into one body, he was adrift in a world not made for him. The construction efforts beckoned but he had already fought his good fight and so, required rest. With that in mind, as he was a restless soul, Shun elected to stay at Reiji’s heel in much the same way as Tsukikage, he reflected. He needed a cause to protect and there was one quite nearby in the form of Reira.

   So, it was settled. Reiji would keep Tsukikage and Shun around much like a lord required retainers. Though, having the additional hands to help around the house - or, more accurately, apartment - was good too when one was a CEO running on fumes, coffee, and involuntary reactions to a screaming of a baby.

   The apartment that Reiji had was small. For someone used to even greater freedoms, opulence, and luxury. Shun and Tsukikage both agreed that it was egregiously rich people but it was theirs, Reiji made such clear from the moment he signed the lease. Wanting them both close by, his most trusted companions and partners, he gave them keys straight away and a place to call their own away from the others if need be. 

   Receiving that key to the front door, and a room to call his own, it was quite luxurious for Tsukikage but he appreciated the kindness. Shun, whose only own he could call was now rubble, put up a stiff upper lip receiving the same silver slice of metalwork. It meant a lot to him, too, clearly.

   But their little hideaways weren’t full hideaways since Reira could be hurt from the nursery from everywhere and anywhere. For such a little thing, she was loud. Though, given her strange history, she deserved it, after a lifetime of being frightened into being quiet, no one could blame her and instead, rejoiced in it.

   Even if tending to her every need, waiting on her hand and foot so she would never grow up to doubt for a second that she was unloved, was a lot of hard work.

   That meant a lot to Reiji, especially. The way that he had two helpers so near and dear to him for the experiment in being a trio of teenage parents, it warmed a deep and dark part of his heart. He self-described as a former child who had never received enough hugs growing up and as for Shun, he had a doting streak a mile wide. Despite how he tried to keep his softer side concealed, Shun saw glimpses of Ruri in Reira’s face every so often and so, he was willing to put in the hard work to help keep Reira content. Tsukikage pitched in where he could.

   They took turns. Had shifts. Kept scores and grudges meticulously. No one slept a wink when Reira was hungry or tired or lonely or or soiled or otherwise malcontent. If it was not one thing with her, it was another.

   The past six months of adjusting to changes had left them on wits’ end. To her being a baby, to themselves being akin to parents to her and to themselves, like lovers. The night before had been especially hellish. No one slept a wink through the night and it was expected to be a similar uphill battle.

   But exhaustion had taken its toll. It didn’t seem worth it to be anywhere except on rolled out futons on the floor of the nursery. The day had been so long, they had all been zombies and so, they collapsed in the middle of it in one big old pile. Something quite unusual for the three of them - and in of itself, may have been a first.

   Not one to relish as none of them were openly or outwardly affectionate. Despite how they entangled through the night, sheets askew over their bodies, barely covering them, as they slept with a vague yet feverish anticipation of something that never happened. They had been in such a nervous wait for it, for when Reira would inevitably scream her little head off and need something but… It never happened. It never came.

   For the first and only time in the past six months, Reira slept through the night. Morning came quickly and without disturbance. None of them could believe it, the fact that they weren’t even well rested didn’t help either and yet, as they awoke, one by one, with the morning sunshine on their faces, a peculiar happiness budded.

   “Good girl, Reira.” Reiji breathed aloud as he placed his glasses on his face, speaking only now that his two partners were both awake.

   “She is.” Shun agreed.

   Tsukikage nodded and smiled to himself. He glanced along the vertices of his legs underneath white sheets, the way Shun’s foot scraped against his ankle and how with a glance, it would seem that Shun and Reiji had been sharing a pillow as Reiji’s had been pushed far from his own rectangle of a futon. How disgustingly domestic it was. Especially washed in the soft yellow of a Sunday morning.

   “I’ll make breakfast, you get Reira ready.” Tsukikage suggested.

   “Thank you, Tsukikage.” Reiji replied.

   The day ensued as normal and the next night wouldn’t prove quite so peaceful but it was now established, Reira was capable of sleeping through for long enough to let her caretakers rest and that filled them with hope. Soon enough, over the span of another six months, she would prove again that she could consistently sleep through the night to the point it wasn’t such an out of the ordinary occurrence.

   It seemed now that the months were flying now. She changed and grew every day. Clothes that fit her last week no longer fit today, it felt. Anything futureproofed was futureproofed for all a couple days. It was amazing and sure enough, as she passed the crown of one year old - and that was important, too - other more glamorous milestones would arise, too. The ones that made for cute pages in her keepsake diary that someone - Yuzu, and by extension, Ruri - insisted on getting her.

   Like her first words, for example.

   With Reiji as her older brother, of course Reira would have certain expectations on her. He wanted to see her grow up well, to see her develop all the same as any other child - or maybe even better, with the makings of a genius. He tried his best not to but he was full of worries on how being reverted to an infant would have on her mind so he did his best with his heart in the right place.

   Of course, as far as he was concerned, Reira could do no wrong. Everything she did was cute or adorable but please do note: her babbling was quite articulate. She had great hearing and was doing well to mimic the building blocks of speech as copied from her three guardians.

   Still, even he couldn’t have predicted what Reira’s first words would be or how appropriate they would be in the greater context of her strange life.

   It was an ordinary Tuesday night. Reiji had a conference tomorrow which meant that Tsukikage would accompany him in an official manner. Shun was going to stay home with Reira and look after her until they returned. With that in mind, as there was only going to be Shun home tomorrow, Tsukikage was making a dinner for them which would yield minimal leftovers.

   He was an okay cook. Better than Reiji by a long shot but relatively on par with Shun. He was making air fryer mackerel, rice, and serving it up with various sides he had made in advance like pickled radish and tempura-covered delicacies like okra and eggplant. It was quite humble but it wouldn’t get any complaints.

   Reira gurgled and babbled. She slapped her hands on her plastic highchair and watched Tsukikage intently, in only the way a toddler could, with more precision and judgement than a professional food critic. It made Shun laugh.

   “I think Reira’s hungry.” Shun pointed out.

   “I want her to learn to eat with all of us but, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to warm up her dinner…” Reiji said.

   “I’ve got mashed sweet potatoes and eggplant for her in the fridge. She liked it at lunch so fingers crossed she still does.” Tsukikage replied.   

   “Food!” Reira agreed.

   She banged her pudgy fists on her tray again but it wasn’t the meaty echo of her hands which stunned but rather her word. It was perfect! Fully formed and articulated. 

   Reiji’s ears burned pink as he smiled like a fool. His heart stopped then started again, only to race at a million miles an hour as he shared a look with Shun. Tsukikage turned around and held a spoon up. He pointed it at in gesture to Reira. She did it again.

   “Food!” 

   Shun was sent scrambling for his picture book diary of Reira’s accomplishments and Reiji reached out. He placed his hand on the raised edge of Reira’s table, held onto it and Reira looked at him. She smiled big and wide. 

   “Food.” Reira said and she pointed at her mouth.

   “Yes, food. We are having dinner and… and eating food.” Reiji stammered in heartfelt disbelief.

   He began to laugh a sardonic laugh. He couldn’t help but be reminded of something from their now bygone days as a Lancer, literally a different lifetime for Reira. He couldn’t help but be amazed.

   Little Reira who had been at the epicentre of a strange argument in the Synchro Dimension: food or smiles. Now here she was, gleefully wanting both. Reiji could have shed a tear.

   Shun opened the diary to the appropriate page and jotted down that miraculous word: food.

   “Oh, um, dinner is basically ready, by the way.” Tsukikage awkwardly piped up. “I’ll heat up Reira’s food.”

   He finished his duties in the kitchen and allowed Reira to be fawned over by the other two. Tsukikage knew deep down they needed to relish such a moment more so than him. Though he was privileged to be a part of it, he did consider himself their bodyguard first and foremost. Though, a beloved one.

   Tsukikage served up meals for himself, Reiji, Shun, and then Reira. He joined them at the table and they said their courtesy quickly. Shun ate ravenously and Reiji supervised Reira. She wielded a large and plastic spoon perhaps too eagerly. It made Tsukikage laugh.

   Though, once they were settled, Tsukikage posed an innocuous question, “So, what were everyone here’s first words?”

   “Don’t know.” Shun shrugged. “Ruri’s were ‘bracelet’ though.”

   “Do you know what your first words were?” Reiji asked and Shun peered on, owlishly and just as curious.

   “Yes,” Tsukikage said, disarmed that none of their guardians would cherish such a thing, “I’m told it was ‘kunai’.”

   “That’s a lie. You are lying to us right now.” Shun somewhat jokingly argued.

   “Does it help that I was referring to a western fork?” Tsukikage said.

   “Okay, fine, that’s more believable but barely.” Shun replied.

   Reiji hummed and adjusted his glasses.

   “You don’t have to reach back out to your Mother to ask, it's not necessary.” Tsukikage said. “I didn’t mean to cause such waves.”

   “No, if anything,” Reiji irately huffed, “it reaffirms that this was the correct decision for mine and Reira’s wellbeing.”

   There was a depressed pause.

   Shun yawned and stretched, “That’s one way to put it.”

   And put it to rest, too. There was no point in any of their minds in tarnishing the moment of Reira’s first words with bittersweetness from their own parental issues. They resumed dinner and all the mess that came with it.

   Though, afterwards, Reiji put Reira to bed and read her favourite book to her. He recruited Shun and Tsukikage to do funny voices for characters whilst he read the narrator’s voice with the utmost seriousness. It was a small moment around her bed but proof that Reiji was going to be overbearing like his parents before him. He was locking in and he was going to do his utmost to help Reira’s literacy and speech along, or so help him.

   With such undivided attention to support her, Reira continued to hit goals and milestones. She was making three word sentences in no time and was able to call her three guardians all by pet names in due time. She was growing up into a well and giggly girl, with bright smiles and the occasional tantrum.

   It warmed Tsukikage’s heart to see her bond with her brother, and even with himself and Shun. It was sappy but true. They really were a family at this point as they began to approach the eighteen months mark of their current circumstances. 

   During the next months, Reira had a huge boost in energy. One that couldn’t even be matched by three teenage boys all on the cusp or post of eighteen. Her locomotive skills were improving day by day. She could string words along and crawl from one end of a room to the other in the seeming blink of an eye. It was chaos. All three of them needed to keep an eagle eye on her or heaven forbid.

   With such watchful and attentive guardians, it was no wonder that Reira had her first steps hand in hand with Reiji with Shun and Tsukikage flanking her in support. Unlike with her first words or even her first full night of sleep, her first steps were much more expected.

   “That’s right, just one foot at a time.” Reiji coaxed Reira.

   “One step.” Reira echoed him with the utmost intensity.

   Her determination was flowing off her. The carpet of the apartment’s living room floor suddenly seemed a whole lot more dangerous to her upright versus on her belly.

   “You can do it,” Tsukikage egged her on, “we’ll turn you into a kunoichi just yet.”

   Shun rolled his eyes. Good naturedly, of course. Tsukikage couldn’t help himself.

   “You can be whatever you want when you grow up and I’ll be proud.” Reiji assured her.

   “I want to be…” Reira murmured. “Everythink.”

   Reiji smiled, “Sounds good.” 

   Reira smiled as she wiggled and she wobbled. Reiji held her steady whilst Shun and Tsukikage held their breath. She took her first steps. Her movements were sluggish and uncertain at first and then got excited by the idea of walking on her own two legs. It was clear that Reira was ready, even if that was nerve wracking for Reiji and the others. She let go of Reiji’s hands and took three, giddy steps forward before collapsing against him for a hug.

   He held her in his lap and snuggled against her, “I love you, Reira.” Reiji told her, holding her dearly.

   Shun and Tsukikage drew in closer. Shun put his hand on Reiji’s shoulder and Tsukikage patted his head. They had come far. All four of them.

[bnbc]

so, my mixed and matched post-canon (for me not to forget about details) beware spoilers obv!

1. Isabella opposes the Lord Inquisitor and chooses to contain THE THING forever

2. Standing over the body of Xavier Calcazar Heinrix makes his decision and takes Ordo Xenos rosette, as he thinks - for a time, while the Inquisition is considering a proper replacement. He remembers his promises to Isabella but sees it as his last duty to establish the Sector's stability. Isabella, however, feels betrayed, she is full of his shit and doesn't want to listen to logical arguments and regicide metaphors anymore 2a. During this fight she confesses she actually always hated regicide (look, even 100 willpower woman can be petty sometimes, as a treat)

3. "Time" takes years and Heinrix keeps his position.

4. Even though the relationship between them is officially over, this flame isn't easy to put down, and, brought together by the important business, they sometimes spend way too much time planning secret operations together. 4a. The rumors spread like diarrhea, of course, with bad and good consequences

5. It seems it might be fixed, but Isabella's new Master of Whispers finds some… unannounced Inquisition presence on her ship. Heinrix insists it was done out of care for her, which pisses her off even more. She says that if he cares, he can go back and settle in his old chambers any time, and disappear to the far side of the sector…

6. …just to send a request to meet her for a very important talk a couple of months after. Heinrix comes to a randevouez point, but while he's waiting for her, he gets a report from one of the recently found worlds and finds out that Isabella's mercy came to the tragedy again. He finds it out even before her, that is why when he scolds her and mentions two very forbidden words, she doesn't even argue. Just politely accepts his opinion and goes back to her business.

7. Von Valancius flagman ship is reported missing in the Warp 7a. At the end of the 4th year of hopeless search, Heinrix calls his agents back and mourns her.

8. After amost five years of absence Isabella von Valancius reappears in the Koronus expanse to declare she's alive, to find out that a bunch of heirs tried to claim their right to her legacy but didn't succeed without the Warrant (and without the support of certain structures and people). Her title was safe but her protectorate was close to ruins. She obviously had no time for any relationshit.

9. It takes time but control is restored, and so is a relationship with all the major players, some of which are on the thin edge of losing their patience because a certain Holy Ordo was way too quick to call everything 'heresy' lately

10. Speaking of the Ordos, agents on Dargonus send Heinrix a report that one of the local Schola Progenium students is actually the direct heir of von Valancius dynasty. Heinrix sits on this information for a month before meeting Isabella. Isabella asks him to kill every person who knows about her heir 'for the sake of what was between us' 10a. Heinrix hesitates to ask, but he asks in the end, and all she says is "By His will, the child won't inherit their parent's curse" and he takes it as 'yes' 10b. He eliminates his agents personally

11. At this point the final duty takes way too much time, around two decades, and it is a time of reflection and regrets, but everything seems truly over: so much time, so many careless words, and hard decisions between the two of them, and so little time left since both of them are warp-touched…

12. …but one day Heinrix receives a message that Kasballica Mission is planning his assassination, and von Valancius' influence is not enough to prevent it. Inquisition does have resources to do so, obviously, but does he want it? The old scar he still hasn't cured from his hand burns, when he asks back if his old chambers is still unoccupied and receives 'yes', and smiles

it is not really hard to fake his own death after all, and the only thing he regrets since then is not doing it earlier

[orphanheirs]

Wip excerpt

Thanks @drchenquill for tagging!!

I'll share an old excerpt, definitely a first draft, where I was trying to figure out how to introduce Tristan/his backstory. This might be too much exposition, and/or I might figure out a more interesting and efficient way of communicating all this.

Tristan Learmont had never tasted outside air since the day he first drew breath. Being born in winter during a great freeze, an infant would surely not be taken out of doors until spring in those days, and Tristan was no exception. However, he being so frail and ill of health, this period was extended. As time wore on and young Tristan’s sickliness failed to dissipate, most doctors brought in to see him recommended that the child be shielded from the elements, for he was so frail there was great danger to his life if he were thus exposed. Adjoining this assessment almost always was another grave warning: the boy should never strain himself physically, and activity should be greatly limited, lest he exhaust a weak heart. These recommendations continued until there was no need to repeat them. As Tristan never got well, the restrictions were never lifted. Even with them in place it was expected he would only live a few years. But the Learmonts, being the wealthiest landowners in the region, had no need to spare expense in following the doctors’ orders full and beyond recommendations so that their youngest child might be pinned to this world as long as possible.  To this end a large suite in a separate wing of the house was cleared for his habitation while he was still an infant. This wing was separate from the children’s wing, which housed the rooms of all his twelve brothers and sisters. In this section of the palatial house, all the great windows were kept locked. Even the curtains were commonly kept drawn. In this perpetual gloom Tristan grew.  At first, visitors to the Learmont household would ask after their youngest child's health with great interest, but over time these things were no longer said. Tristan became the invisible ghost residing in the closed-off wing of the house upstairs, which everyone was dimly aware of, yet rarely spoke of, and endeavored altogether to not think of too often. Tristan’s chambers became a forbidden, dreary realm where only servants, governesses, and doctors were doomed to tread. Though the Learmont’s neglect of Tristan may seem shocking, one must remember that at this time many great families held each other at arms length as a matter of course, and many parents were eager to send their children off to boarding school as soon as they were of age. All the other Learmont children were shipped off to various faraway academies starting at age seven or eight, so it stands to reason that, as Tristan was far too frail to be sent out into the world, his parents were obliged to be satisfied with his being sequestered out of sight in the same house. However, as much as Tristan was ignored, he was indulged to the same measure. If a child is deemed spoilt by an excess of earthly pleasures and very little discipline, we may firmly pronounce Tristan rotten. It seemed some strong feeling of pity for the poor mite languishing in gloom at the other end of the mansion awaiting an early grave aroused in Mr. and Mrs. Learmont, if not a warm attentive affection, a sense of plain detached injustice. They compensated for this by acquiescing to his every whim (usually reported to them by proxy through a servant or governess) and refusing to punish him for misdeeds (the same). In addition, within the parameters set by the prevailing medical advice (that is, no strenuous activity and no venturing out-of-doors) he was permitted to do whatever he pleased. From an early age he was even allowed to set the course of his own education.

Tagging: @buffythevampirelover, @risingshards, and @luchadorbard!

[c-rose2081]

Of Siren’s Deep [Chapter 1] - story concept

Just some writing thoughts. Pirate-Fantasy baby, can’t go wrong with that 🏴‍☠️🧜🏽‍♀️

To my mutuals who lurk, pls reblog and let me know what you think in the comments and tags, it really helps the process ❤️

— — —

The small island is truly a forbidden gem on the vast cerulean sea. It sits on a horizon break halfway between Velazquez Point and Spanish Bay; a lush, green paradise seemingly isolated from any known trade route. I’ve crossed this way many times before, though today was the first time a wayward squall took us off-course.

I was—naturally—thrilled to find uncharted land. It’s been months since a new discovery and my patience was beginning to fester. However, my find will have to go unpublished for now at the decision of my ship’s crew.

We, and any others who come here, must be wary of this place. It seems the island itself is determined to remain unexplored. The white sand beaches around its perimeter burn with the heat of an unrelenting sun, while the clear turquoise water reflects its golden rays like mirrors. Many of my scouting party returned with blistering sores on their necks and faces from the intensity of it all, after only quarter-of-a-tick believe it or not. Some on the deck passed out from exertion or threatened to throw themselves into the sea in madness.

A vote was cast; I lost, Captain be damned. And though it burdens my heart to leave such a wonderful treasure behind, the crew has decided not to return again, claiming the island cursed. — from Oceans & Islands: A Sailor’s Journal by Amadaex Cabrera

— — —

“Back at it again with that book, milady?”

I lifted my head from the yellowed pages of Oceans & Islands, squinting in the sunlight which now cascaded through the window above my desk. It hadn’t even been dawn when I started reading; I’d completely lost track of time.

“Amaris. I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I did call for you. Twice.” Amaris lifted two fingers as I slumped, closing the book still open under my hand.

“I’m sorry, I was just…”

“Reading? Yes, I can see that, milady. But why not a different book? You’ve read that one at least a dozen times by now. Doesn’t it get old?”

“Not to me. I’d love to be the one to discover a seemingly cursed island. It was father’s dream, too.”

At the mention of father, I briefly turned my face away from my longtime maid and friend. It had been a few months now since he passed away, but it still felt as though he’d walk in the door any second, just like he used to. I was already used to him not being around, as his work took him all over the world. He’d be gone months at a time, then would waltz back in like he’d never left. Yet knowing for sure this time that he wasn’t coming back? I squeezed my eyes shut, urging them not to burn with tears.

“Your father passed doing what he loved most.” Amaris said from where she was making the bed. “He wouldn’t want you to be cooped up in here all day.”

“I’d rather be, seeing as what Aunt Frenrise insists of me.” I replied flatly. “I feel like a prize trout when I’m with her.”

“Lady Frenrise is merely doing what Lord Pennrose asked of her.”

“I know that. I just wish things didn’t feel so…so showy all the time. I’ve dealt with it my whole life, but now that Papa is gone, she’s insufferable.”

“Lady Frenrise is a peacock amongst quail, milady. But you?” Amaris paused her work to glance at me, smiling in her matronly, sweet way. “You have the gold of sunlight in your eyes, child. Such a beautiful young woman you’ve grown up to be.”

“Hm, that’s all anyone ever says these days.” I sighed, rising from behind my desk with a stretch and leaving the warm patch of sun behind.

“It’s lucky you’re so bronzy, milady.” Amaris commented as she fluffed a pillow. “Sitting in that sun would make anyone redden like a Phoenix Fruit.”

“You know I enjoy a hot day.” I smirked, plopping onto the freshly made bed which caused Amaris to squeak in protest.

“Milady, honestly. You’re almost eighteen….”

“Please don’t make me get ready today, Amaris.” I begged, jutting out my lower lip as the woman rolled her eyes. “I just want to stay here for the rest of my life.

“Lady Aria. If I don’t get you ready, Lady Frenrise will. And we both don’t want that.”

“Hm. Point taken.” I scoffed, running a finger over the thin chain around my neck. It was still weird, wearing my father's pendant. He’d carried it for as long as I could recall—I hadn’t ever seen him take it off. I had been handed the trinket in lieu of seeing his body the day news reached Macatania of father’s death at sea. It was all the proof I needed that he was gone for good this time. His first mate had looked me straight in the eye that day, pressing the amulet into my palm with the most apologetic look an old sailor could give.

Tugging the artifact from my collar, I held it above my head and turned it between a thumb and index finger. The amulet was worn around the edges, with a center made of bluish glass like some rum bottles I’d seen. The lumpy frame was cracked and tarnished from wear, like father himself had rehammered the silver back into place several times. It puzzled me as to why he wore such an unusual, haphazard piece of jewelry. His many rings had been made of fine silver and gemstones. His earring was made of gold. He could’ve had the glass reset into something fancier; something more suited to his rank. Yet he never did.

“….milady?”

“Hm?”

I pulled my eyes from the blue glass, glancing at Amaris, “Sorry, what did you say?”

“I said Lady Frenrise is expecting you to be well dressed for today’s ceremony. Something interesting in that amulet?”

“No.” I tucked the necklace back under my shirt, feeling it through the cloth as to assure myself it was there. “Just thinking about father, that’s all.”

“Your Aunt sent up a dress for you….”

“Of course she did.” I sat up, giving my friend a pointed look. “How bad is it?”

“Er…not bad, milady.” Amaris drawled, refusing to meet my gaze as I scowled. “It’s, well, a lovely shade of yellow.”

“Not yellow.” I groaned, tossing myself back amongst the sheets. “Just kill me, Amaris.”

“Don’t be dramatic, Lady Aria. It’s a lovely color for you.”

“I don’t understand why she insists on the color of Sunbam every time she gets me something. It’s gaudy and attracts flies.”

“You’ll wear it for your poor Aunt’s sake, won’t you?” Amaris made a face not dissimilar to my own. “You know she only tries her best. And if you don’t wear it, I won’t ever hear the end of it.”

“I wish she’d just listen to me for once.”

“Lady Frenrise is difficult, milady. Always has been. Now come, I’ll help you dress.”

Exhaling a deep breath again, I nodded and rolled into a standing position. As we did every morning, Amaris helped remove my nightdress. The noise of discontent she made from behind my shoulder was new to the routine.

“Something wrong?” I wondered, perturbed by my friend's silence.

“Have you been feeling unwell at all today, milady?” She asked finally, meeting my gaze over my shoulder. “Any chills?”

“No? I’m perfectly fine.” Furrowing my brows, I stiffened as Amaris ran the back of her fingers along my right shoulder blade. The itching was sudden as I twisted away from her hand in surprise, keeping a yelp behind my teeth. “Gentle, Amaris.”

“You have some rashing on your back. Does it hurt?”

“Only when you touch it.” I huffed in annoyance, walking to the bedroom mirror and craning my neck to see what Amaris was talking about. Indeed, there was a small patch of reddish skin blistering along my right shoulder. It wasn’t very big, not even the size of a fist. But now that I knew it was there, the urge to scratch at it was maddening.

“We’ll put some Sunbam oil on it.” Amaris said, “Just don’t itch it or it could get worse.”

“You know, Sunbam isn’t the remedy for everything.” I teased, receiving Amaris’s wagging finger as she headed to the washroom.

“Tell that to my Maman.” The woman chortled, returning with a small silver plate of balm. “Sunbam is nature's miracle.”

With the ointment applied, I did my best to ignore the rash’s presence as we continued the routine per usual.

Indeed, Auntie’s dress was made of a gaudy yellow silk with pale lace frills around the edges of the sleeves. It’s skirt barely touched the ground, while the waist hem sat comfortably at my hips. Normally, the dresses Frenrise picked for me were conservative in build. This one however had a surprisingly low neckline, one I felt the need to cover up with a lace shawl.

“I believe Lady Frenrise sees you as an eligible young woman now, milady.” Amaris commented as she worked with my long auburn hair, pinning half of it into place with Macatanian pearls while leaving the rest to hang down my back. “Isn’t that exciting?”

“Let’s see, my overbearing Aunt trying her damndest to find me a husband by lowering my neckline?” I recounted dryly, fiddling with Papa’s pendant as I sat before the mirror. “Yes, very exciting.”

“You could find someone that suits you,” Amaris shrugged, running her fingers through my hair just as she did when I was a girl. “Elias found someone, didn’t he?”

“It was an arranged marriage.” I corrected, rolling my eyes at the mere mention of my cousin. “Besides, he’d do anything his Mama told him.”

“He seems quite happy with his blushing bride, arranged or not.”

“Elias is a simple man. He likes guns and women—there’s not much else to him.”

“Don’t speak so harshly of your cousin, milady. Don’t forget he’s family and has just lost an Uncle.”

I grimaced, but relented to the fact with a silent head nod. As much as I disliked Elias’s coarse, boyish attitude, he and Papa had been close in the months before his death. “Now, you look beautiful. Lady Frenrise will be pleased.”

I stared at myself, hazel eyes flicking across the reflection in the mirror. The yellow of the dress made my skin seem even darker than it actually was as my throat constricted painfully tight. “Come now, child.” Amaris placed her hands on my shoulders, giving them a comforting squeeze. “Any longer and Lady Frenrise might send the Navy.”

— — —

“You look beautiful, Aria. Simply stunning.”

I smiled at Aunt Frenrise as best I could, bouncing a heel as the carriage clattered down the cobblestone road towards the harbor. My Aunt had been my primary guardian since I was born. What with how often Papa had to travel, it was a surprise we weren’t closer than we were. But Aunt Frenrise wasn’t someone I had much in common with, even after so many years of being under her care. She was a traditional sort of woman, preferring to keep the house and wear expensive fabrics and gems than pick up a book or take a late night swim.

“Thank you, Aunty.”

“I just knew this dress was for you,” she continued without missing a beat. “Yellow is such a wonderful color. Though I wish you’d show that neckline a bit more? It’s terribly hot for a shawl.”

“It’s to keep my shoulders from burning, Aunty.” I lied simply, glancing out the window again as the buildings and shops of Macatania grew scarcer and scarcer as we approached the East Harbor. “Is Elias excited about today?”

“Simply over the moon,” the woman chirped, clapping her gloved hands together as she tossed her white gauzy scarf over her shoulder. “Imagine it. Me, the mother of a Naval Officer.”

“I never thought Elias was interested in military service.” I mused honestly. “He seemed much more keen on traveling.”

“He’s a bit of a free spirit I suppose, but Catalina has been so good for him. She’s a wonderful influence. They’ll make beautiful children together.” Aunty sighed happily, melting into her corner of the carriage. “Now that he’s ready to settle down, I can focus more on finding you a suitable match.” She drawled, staring at me with her deep blue eyes. “You know the walls talk. It won’t be hard to find someone who will absolutely ravish you.”

“Aunty.” I breathed, feeling embarrassed heat crawl up my neck to my ears.

“What? I’m just saying that there are plenty of men in Macatania who would go to the ends of the world for your attention. You’re a beauty, child. I already know at least one who has begun drafting an impressive dowry, hm?”

“If you’re referring to Officer Ambrose, I’m not interested.”

Aunt Frenrise pouted as I removed a pale silk fan from my skirt, flicking it open as a cue to halt the current topic. Unfortunately, my Aunt wasn’t keen on being brushed off.

“Oh, tush, Aria. Ambrose is a perfectly respectable man. He has a wonderful position and could build you the perfect home.”

“He’s also primitive, Aunty.” I argued unhappily. “I’m not an object to be won, nor a gem to be admired.”

“I never said that; merely implied that he could make a wonderful husband.”

“What if I don’t want a husband?” I retorted, fluttering my fan a bit faster. “I want to sail, just like Papa.”

“My child, there’s no place for us on the high seas,” Aunt Frenrise said with furrowed brows. “It’s terrible luck, you know. You belong here in Macatania, safe, sound and settled down with someone who will protect you.”

“You didn’t stop Elias from going to sea.”

“No. Because it’s traditional for men to join the Navy at his age; it’s an honor he’s chosen to take. I will not hear of my niece out gallivanting with some…some degenerates on a boat.”

“But….”

“I will not hear another word of this, Aria,” Aunt Frenrise insisted, lifting a warning brow. “You will be in the company of Officer Ambrose today at the ceremony and that is that. His offer for your hand will no doubt dwarf any others; he may just be your perfect match.”

“Father would’ve let me sail.” I muttered, slowing my fan as my head drooped. Aunt Frenrise shook her head, snapping open her own fan.

“Yes. But look where that’s gotten him.” Her eyes narrowed unhappily as I slumped even more, feeling Papa’s pendant resting against my skin. “Aria, I promised Atticus I would look after you; it was the last promise I ever made to him. The sea is no place for a young woman, I don’t want to see you end up like he did.”

“Quite.” I rasped, turning my head away from my Aunt’s attention. Refusing to look at her again lest my emotions get the better of me, I stared out at the beautiful Macatanian sea glistening in the afternoon sun. A few boats were moored off the rocks, their brilliant ivory sails shining as though illuminated.

A few months ago, one of them could’ve been Papa finally returning home from a long journey. He would stomp into the house with his big heavy boots, reeking of salt and seaweed. The man would haul me into his arms till my feet dangled off the floor, spinning me around like a windmill until I begged him to stop. He would tell stories of what he saw and show me worn journals and maps used during the trip. We would talk for hours before falling asleep sitting at the table, content and happy.

Those times, all of them, were now just memories. Papa was dead, settled at the bottom of the ocean never to return while I was expected to take a husband. To settle down as some Officer’s wife in order to raise children, keep home and never leave Macatania’s pale shores.

It felt like I’d just swallowed a rock, pursing my lips to keep from choking on it. Tears burned my eyes as the sniffles caught in my nose, causing my whole body to hurt.

“Please don’t cry, Aria.” Aunt Frenrise sighed, though I still refused to look at her past my fan which still waved out of mere habit. “It won’t be as awful as you think,” she mused, no doubt smiling as a single tear ran down my cheek. “I just know it.”

—

—

To those who made it to the end, thank you! Always appreciated ❤️ I like this concept a lot so I hope to explore it more :)

[welcometotherpsideblog]

˚.⋆ ✶ 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨 ! ✶₊⊹

⊹ ࣪ ˖ he/him, 17 (bday in jan) ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

.𖥔 closed|OPEN to more RP partners ꩜.ᐟ

ᯓ★ ┆ semi-lit/lit, historical + fandom RP ✮⋆˙

⊹ ࣪ ˖ CARRD ⊹ ࣪ ˖

HAS MOVED TO @writingatthedisco

𝐑𝐏 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐅𝐎𝐑:

- ᴘʀɪᴍᴀʀɪ��ʏ ғᴀɴᴅᴏᴍʟᴇss ʜɪsᴛᴏʀɪᴄᴀʟ ʀᴘ: victorian, wild west and regency period the most. medieval eras and greek/slavic/general mythology not so much, but still.

- ғᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ ʀᴘ: night at a museum, bridgerton, red dead redemption 2, percy jackson, frankenstein (only the novel), marauders era

but 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐑 𝐑𝐏 𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 rn are:

- 𝗥𝗗𝗥𝟮 specific, i have a rough idea for a 18 y.o. golden retriever type cowboy who gets seperated and lost from his usual cowboy group during a cattle round up across America, and decides to stay back so his group can get him on the trail back, in the meanwhile getting accidentally involved with crime and getting sucked into the Van Der Linde gang for means of staying alive and getting money as he waits through the months.

- 𝗙𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗞𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗜𝗡 specific, currently i am in the process of working out a Victor x Henry plot (with me playing Victor) (either during the era when Victor is nursed back to healthy by Henry, orthe summer before Victor leaves to study and Henry stays with his family at lake Como)—if you are into the book ship (i am not interested in any other Frankenstien fandom) and love the AO3 fandom surrounding it—reach out! i'm obsessed 😭

(currently: i am looking for answers on only these two ideas- sorry, folks!)

...but ofcourse i am very open to plotting together, if you have any of yourown ideas that fit these settings i wanna hear them!! just please try to be as involved with the plotting as i so we can bounce off eachothers ideas <3

- old ADs: (Bridgerton ServantxServant) (Percy Jackson Museum Quest)

𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐱𝐌, 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐎𝐂 𝐱 𝐎𝐂

- this is because i don't really enjoy playing preexisting characters, however occasionally i do find the muse for a pre-existing character and ship—mostly then it is only CCxCC and it happens very rarely

- VERY open to making more ocs if you have ideas for settings and plots, i love writing especially when collaborating HHWJSHWHE

- side characters who are canon being played occasionally for scenes and stuff is completely fine by me btw, as long was we both play them from time to time when needed- not just one of us!

𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐒 𝐈 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓:

slow burn, friends to lovers, found family, misfit/outsider, mutual pinning (those the MOST like all my rps had at LEAST one (but all were slow burn and misfit) (ill be fr i only do slow burn and misfit...)) enemies to lovers, various academies/schools, past trauma, forbidden love, abusive/no parents, hurt/comfort, i also dont take my rp too seriously- i include a lot of humor!

- i also love my RP to be plot heavyy, not like... JUST romance, yk? and come to me with plot ideas, not just tropes

𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐑𝐏:

- semi-lit/lit, i stay around a three to six paragraphs depending on how much needs to be said, my starters are usually longer as in pushing on 6 paragraphs however i don't worry about length, ofc the lengths will depend on the scene, as long as it gives enough to work with and fits whats happening, i just mirror the other person in terms of it all!

- i rp and reply mostly or at least once daily (unless ofcourse i/you notify the other that you cannot that you are busy or sick or anything) this means i at least want to know you are alive once daily, be it in the form of a OOC DM if busy or a RP reply, and you can reply whenever—don't feel pressured to rush replies out quickly, timing is not important to me! i myself mostly reply around once or twice daily in RP (i write slow, lol), while OOC it depends.

- NO smut

- English is my second language, although i've been speaking and writing in it most of my life, i still may make some slight mistakes

- i roleplay in private discord servers using tupperbox, but tupperbox is not must, though!

- we will also most likely exchange writing/RP samples- it's just the easiest way to see if our RP styles click and if we are both looking for the samw thing in RP!

lot of communication and plotting out OOC is required! im autistic and prefer everything to be cleared up like that 😭

𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐃𝐌 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞/𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚! <𝟑

AND come with whatever specifically caught your eye, your character/an additional idea or whatever, and/or bit about yourself as a roleplayer (lit level/para count, activity, age, whatever you feel is important)! (just gimme smth to work with with the first DM so we can get rolling for the love of god 😭)