#how we feeling out there tonight?
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I’m happy Lando got pole, but I’m also scared for his safety because Max might just rear end him for shits and giggles
#f1#formula 1#mclaren#lando norris#how we feeling out there tonight?#I am not feeling good#ln4#singapore gp 2024
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my friends are told they cannot feel,make,want
but they can love
and that is okay
not everyone can feel,make,want
i am told i cannot feel,make,want, love
and that is okay
not everyone can feel,make,want, love
so i tell them how i yearn for a love i cannot feel
and how i dream of connections i cannot make
but how every part of me wants
they do not understand
they tell me if i can want
i must be able to feel,make,love
i cannot
and that is not okay
#aroallo#alloaro#poetry#aro poetry#shoutout to the aroallos out there#how we feeling out there tonight?#yeahhhh i am not feeling good
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izzy getting adopted by them is EVERYTHING to me. fuck you youre part of our found family now, whether you like it or not. we have claimed you.
bonus: the way jim defends him here. theyre So mad:
#i didn't include it but the way they slide immediately into talking about how the revenge was GOOD#its like theyre implying. izzy was a part of that good for them#idk idk. feeling my izzy hands should not have to change to be loved agenda in this chillis tonight#it is very clear here that izzy is still izzy. he hasn't fundamentally changed. hes still a dick. hes still himself.#but. his actions are reframed. hes looking out for the crew#hes a dick. but he protects us. hes a dick but he teaches us what we need to know. hes a dick but that doesn't mean we don't love him#screaming crying rolling on the floor#i need him to be loved so bad!!!! i need them to stick up for him!!!! i need izzy to be treated Right!!!!!!!#nyxtalks#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers#jim jimenez#izzy hands#israel hands
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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Thinking 'bout Hammer.
Hammer, who was adopted by a kind man who loved her so much he was willing to forgo tradition and sacred texts in order to make sure she was safe. Who was teased by the other monks for being too big and too strong, to the point when she firsts meets Sparrow she makes that insecurity known im an attempt to protect herself from it.
Hammer who hesitated a minute to long in breaking her vow and had to watch said father die.
Hammer who gives up her name and takes on a name she hates in her grief.
Hammer who is far too trusting in the beginning of her journey that she is lured into a Balverines nest and would likely have died had Sparrow not been with her.
Hammer who after Sparrow leaves for the spire becomes disillusioned by her life as hero, and the guilt begins to seep in. Who loses the fight she had before her goal is even reached, an turns her back on the only person she has any real connection to.
Hammer who ends the game just as alone as Sparrow.
#fable#fable 2#sparrow#hero of bower lake#hammer fable#got big feels tonight#just....so fucked up about her rn#you ever think about it though? about how Hammer is so sick to her stomach about all shes done over the last decade#that she turns away from Sparrow her only friend#like it happens before we get to th spire even#when you leave reavers rear passage she barely acknowledges Sparrow; not in the way she usually does#and then if you choose anything other han sacrifice she lashes out at you#and then she leaves#she cuts Sparrow loose from her; in an attempt to protect herself; to start anew and refind herself after being so lost in her grief#and just like sparrow#she is alone
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#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
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Bonnie
#hes haunting freddys story before we even hear about why hes not there#hes the reason freddy had been even a little sentient at the start of sb#hes the reason freddy realized how unfair and terrible the pizzaplex and fazbear ent is#making him burn the entire place down in the rooftop ending#not caring whos in the crossfire as long as its not gregory. he doesnt even care if its himeelf#just as long as the pizzaplex stops hurting people#& its because bonnie got decommissioned and then just phased out as a character#and freddy knows bonnie was just like him later when he becomes more sentient and knows he was like a person#he had a soul and could have grown and changed like freddy if the higher ups hadnt treated them like products & like they were just objects#and now bonnie will never be able to experience life outside the pizzaplex like freddy has and he'll never get to meet gregory#freddys family will never be truly complete bc vanessa fills the hole in his heart and gregory especially does#but at the end of the day its bonnie shaped and Gregory and vanessa arent#theres still missing gaps#sorry feeling emo about fronnie tonight#pandas.txt#thoughts#fronnie#freddy#bonnie#3 star fam#gregory#vanessa#analysis
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Clarence💥💥💥💥
#appreciate that clsrence has a design now but my ass is NOT drawing danny phan/tom fanart thank you. i will keep the green eyes though#anyways clarence enjoyers how are we feeling tonight⁉️⁉️ (i am speaking to an empty room)#also unfortunately i did the thing where i didn’t want to look at this anymore so i threw it out here. tragic!#if i were stronger i would’ve made a matching piece with mal but mal is just not fun to draw. probably a skill issue on my part though#Clarence jrwi#jrwi clarence#clarence albert#<- dumb fucking name i kinda want him#mart
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Im very into lavender these days but not in the woo woo 'this will fix my sleep problems and all other issues' pseudoscience way, it's just that i really love the smell and it's very comforting to me, which i can use a lot of right now so i try to surround myself with it as much as possible 💜
#lavender smells like how it feels to get home after a long day in the cold qnd you get to take off your wet clothes and put on soft pyjamas#and you can just get cozy in your warm bed and novidy expects anything else from you tonight no responsibilities no chores#you get to just be warm and safe and fall asleep#also bubble baths because iwe alsway had this lavender bubble bath when i was a kid and i loved it so much (i always tried to eat the foam#or rather i wanted to eat the smell itself but the closest i could get was the foam... yes it tasted bad) and i still love it a lot#oh also my best friend who ive known since kindergarten would always use this lavender oil (instead of like body lotion) after showers#(bit they changed the bottles a few years back so now they are like half the size which is ridiculous)#(we spent holidays together for years) and they still use it today but i dont get to smell it as much but that also makes me feel nostalgic#anyway lavender is amazing and i wish i could just drink that bubble bath fluid and get that cozy feeling inside of me that way#(im trying to find a tea that has mostly lavender but its not easy. most also have other stuff that i dont like... but ill keep looking!)#oh and i recently bought this lavender shower gel and that is so wonderful for a shower at night!!!#hey if any europeans wanna recommend any good (not suuuuper expensive) lavender products i could check out please tell me#winter is kicking my ass and i need anything i can get to cheer me up and comfort me#alright enough rabling#i just bought a tea i wanna try thats why i was thinking about it#mine
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this isn’t even about my evil agenda anymore I actually just need to hear your dissertation on voltron/klance x first love late spring
you do evil things to my dick and balls. i hope you know that.
first love / late spring is a very keith-core song, but i think it also applies to both keith and lance... but more specifically, FL/LS is keith pre-relationship, and then FL/LS is lance once they have already started dating.
i'm obsessed with that one interview of mitski where she explained that she wrote this song while she was experiencing her vulnerable first love... and first love is vulnerable. you simultaneously reap the rewards of being known but at the same time, you've now let someone else know you, and now you have to trust them to take care of you. and it's so vulnerable. it's more naked than being naked. and it's so difficult as well because now you're learning a brand new way you can be hurt.
so keith, pre-relationship... he's pining for lance and he is MISERABLE. he's lost control! he feels like he's being consumed by the enormity of his feelings. he's eight years old and small and never asked for this, he never wanted to know he could feel this way. he just wants lance to fucking go already. keith wants to spit vitriol and blame and shame and drive lance away so that when lance leaves him (and he will leave him, like everyone else has), then at least it will be on keith's own terms for once. and keith doesn't, he refuses, to say how he feels. he'll spitefully choke on his confession until it suffocates him. he doesn't want to know what lance might say.
but he also is afraid of lance's reaction because... if lance gives him even a sliver of ground, if there's even a promise of a chance -- keith will fold instantly. he will jump into this love headfirst. he'll do anything if it will make lance stay with him.
and then lance, mid-established relationship... things with keith are perfect, everything is going great, so why does lance feel so anxious all the time? why does he feel so scared when keith looks at him like he's his whole world? maybe the problem is lance. because what they have is real. because he's pretty sure keith is it for him. and that terrifies lance. because lance, deep down, knows he's going to screw this up. and it's not just his heart on the line; he's also going to hurt keith.
keith smiles at him and lance feels sick to his stomach. he wants to tell keith that they might be happy right now, but eventually, lance is going to ruin this. he wants to warn keith that lance is going to break his heart one day.
lance isn't always so negative about himself. during the day, it's easy to let himself be buoyed and enveloped by his feelings for keith. he loves being in love with keith. because the love is real. it's real, and it's there, and that matters. but at night, all those poisonous insecurities and anxieties rear their ugly head, and lance finds himself standing on a ledge over a drop. lance daydreams about spending the rest of his life with keith; lance has never felt so young and small.
#mintcaboodle#klance#voltron#ask#the old child/young adult metaphor is also like. so lance-core. AND THE 'I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME' LINE!!!!!!!!#im in my feels tonight i'm sorry the lance analysis is not fully cooked#also like obviously lance doesn't always feel this way. it's more pertinent closer to the beginning when he#starts to fully realize the depths of his feelings and he's freaking out because he's beginning to understand what it means to spend#the rest of your life with someone and that is a TERRIFYING thing to want and imagine when you're only 17/18#lance does get better though and his insecurities die out the longer and more stable his relationship with keith is#though sometimes those same insecurities crop up now and again#i talk a lot about pining keith and how like tumultuous his experience is. but once he starts dating lance things even out for him#whereas lance is relatively chill in his pining and then begins to flounder after they get together and after he's realized the Love word#otp: we are a good team#katiecanons#idk i guess#keith#lance
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Simon: *being treated with anything less than optimal love, happiness, care, kindness, adoration, protection*
Me: 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
@anonfromtheflight: 🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓🪓
#🔪🫱🏼🫲🏽🪓#simon eriksson#simon eriksson defense squad#strife? unhappiness?#helllll nahhhhhhh!!#sick of this shit lol#can the POC kid rest for once#and can the interracial couple be happy for more then five minutes damn#imma need true payoff in S3 bc i’m still annoyed even after that sexy ass speech wille did in s2#(even though that altered my brain chemistry in the best way and i wouldn’t even be here without it but i digress.)#i don’t want simon to forgive his sister unless she does something crazy to get back in his good graces#‘i’m sorry simon 🥺’ still makes me SO MAD like fuck outta here with that bullshit apology#only confessing cause she didn’t want her bed buddy to get his brains blown out#and we all know how i feel about september#jail is too good for him#hope he rots#we’re serving surgeon AND lizzie borden tonight fam!!!!!!!!!!#young royals
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Stampede aka another episode of luffy turning haters into dick riders just with his kind and big heart
#i might understand all the robin law fanfare... its been 26 minutes of stampede......#frobin reigns supreme imo still.....#VICEADMIRAL MOMONGA TOCAME LA PORONGA??? HELLO#THE LOG POSE TO LAUGH TALE???? and hancock arrived ❤️❤️#usopp saving luffh omg.....#blonde buggy..... why are we doing this to out beautiful women...#fujitora is on his own frequency... here you go a meteorite.. whatever happens to all of you and our troops happens goodbye#mihawk intervened bc zoro couldn't do it omg.... nami keep watch he is going to end it all tonight jesus#also persona following mihaw for a second movie ajdjaks.... i love them together honestly#brosalino is the kuma guy's uncle????? nepotism......#calling this guy the heir of the demon.... taking blame off ace akdjsksn.... you know whats funny in movies garp is very like thoughtful and#comprehensive of others peoples issues and then you get to how he raised luffy and like.... wouldn't that have been good there....#and with ace too lmao.... i mean he didnt have abandonment issues but just wait and see to a 10yo asking if he is worthy of living idk...#i get the meaning of it and what he meant but we all know ace didnt get that at the time until luffy got there#usopp.... see how when oda writes the movies it feels different.... first steong world with namo and now stampede with usopp...#the relationship moments really hit.. i was gonna comment about zoro and the cursed sword but that was just focusing on him#well this one wasnt written by oda but supervised i will take it....#hina taking the kids aldjakskal...... smoker and hina best straight ship behind frobin imo..... baby 5 x sai number 3 spot#sabo....... actually thank you bc smoker thinks he can take anybody#hancock and buggy AJSJAKAKLQQ omg usopp dont cry....... luffy will KILL that guy for making usopp feel like that lmao YEAAAH!!!!!#law smoker sabo the luffy lover squad..... each in their own way lmao#hancock its been so long how are you <3 omg law what are you doing here <3 my brother sabo hello.#crocodile made the plan of course.... luffy lover member too#usopps bullets omg....#sanji and zoro against lucci omg..... YEAAAHHHH#wait a second straw hat crew costume by uniqlo design team??? THE DRIP!!!#luffy seeing ace beside luffy with the fire goodbye.... he is EVERYWHERE#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies
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so
#last night was really so so so fun and it was super hard to get myself to go out? like#in the sense of I really wanted to because I knew it would be fun but I also knew my anxiety was eating me alive#and it would be an obstacle getting through that without alcohol and I need to be … careful#but I got fun drunk and didn’t have too bad of a hangover and didn’t feel super anxious once we got out :#and a different friend wants to make plans for tonight but I am really bad at making plans in advance because sometimes I physically can’t#do things after work bc tired bc neuro disorder and it’s frustrating to my friend with severe control issues#bc she needs to make specific plans like a week out and I’m like erm babe I can’t like#do that? and then if I don’t feel well day of and need to be home she gets (rightfully) frustrated because I’m bailing but it’s#challenging. and you don’t understand unless you live with it.#and it’s frustrating for us both. I don’t want her to think I don’t value her because I do and I force myself out often enough bc I#genuinely feel bad. but it’s so fucking hard sometimes . she also lives sort of far so going from work and having#to drive an hour to her place to then go somewhere and be out like#I’m spent before I even get there#friend I saw last night and I don’t talk consistently but when we do it’s always the same vibe and so fun and we just catch up about life#I feel like when I see my other friends they have things to always talk about because they’re in a discord call almost every night#I don’t have the energy!!!!!!!!!! like I’m so sorry that’s so much for me#idk she isn’t answering me now but if she wants to do something I need to know in the next hr bc if not I’m literally going to bed#I love her but there’s a disconnect between us rn and I don’t know how to mend that gap#but I do love her friendship so I’m just like. sigh#idk it would be different if she was closer and I know that#I hope getting back on medication helps get me being more social again. I’m just so tired this week that speaking is hard lol
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
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.
#idk how many people actually go to protests and marches and vigils on this site#but i think tonights was the first time ive ever felt kind of dissapointed by one#not because of the vigil itself#i guess i was just hoping a vigil in front of the local israeli conculate for ALL martyrs would've drawn more than like 50 -75 people#yes it was below freezing yes it was windy#but were all people who live in a cold city#and can dress warm for it#and know how to tough it out#and even if we werent its such a tiny discomfort for such a short amount of time to act like its a reason to not go to something#idk i guess i thought more people were deeply enough affected by Refaat and Hind and Aaron and every other martyr we know by name#and the thousands and thousands and thousands we dont#to show up and stand in the cold for a little while#to feel like we can honour them in some way#to hear Refaat's words read allowed (which has hurt consistently but is so important to feel)#idk where im going with it i think i just need to get it all out#its been a very weird day
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