#shoutout to the aroallos out there

[frogsare-friends]

my friends are told they cannot feel,make,want

but they can love

and that is okay

not everyone can feel,make,want

i am told i cannot feel,make,want, love

and that is okay

not everyone can feel,make,want, love

so i tell them how i yearn for a love i cannot feel

and how i dream of connections i cannot make

but how every part of me wants

they do not understand

they tell me if i can want

i must be able to feel,make,love

i cannot

and that is not okay

[aroapl]

Shoutout to ALL aromantics! To aroaces, aroallos, neu aros, nonsam aros. To loveless aros and heartless aros. To lovequeer aros, lovelustic aros, arolovic aros. To aplatonic aros, afamilial aros, analterous aros. To nonaesthetic aros, asensual aros, anattractional aros. To aroqueers, unit aros, primaros. To romo aros, partnering aros, polyamorous aros. To nonpartnering aros and nonamorous aros. To polyplatonic and polyerosis aros. To romance favorable, romance indifference, romance averse, romance repulsed, and romance ambivalent aros. To arospecs of all kinds and questioning aros. To aros who love being aro and aros who still have a hard time with it. To aros that are out, loud, and proud, and aros that are closeted. To gay aros, straight aros, bi aros, and aros of every identity under the sun! To aros all over the world! Shoutout to aros!! You're all so wonderful!

[objectsarebestest]

The aspec tags are trending, so I figured I would shout out aspec objectums!

Shoutout to aroace objectums who realize that there are so many other ways to love objects than romantically and sexually!

Shoutout to aroallo objectums who get accused of being “just fetishists” because their objectum attraction isn’t romantic!

Shoutout to alloace objectums who just can’t relate to the sexual side of the community no matter how hard they try!

Shoutout to atertiary objectums who are seen as the “loner who doesn’t interact with people” stereotype of the objectum community!

Shoutout to loveless objectums who reject love as a concept and care for their objects in other ways!

Glad to hopefully help keep the tags trending!

[papercranesandpride]

Shoutout to alloaros with dysphoria around sex. It really, really sucks when the form of attraction you have is one you don't feel comfortable acting on. You're just as alloaro as anyone else, even if you don't have sex, don't have certain kinds of sex, have sex but don't like it enough, don't want to have sex, etc. (To be clear, that's true for people who don't have dysphoria, too). Being sexually active has never been a requirement for being alloaro. Wanting or enjoying sex has never been a requirement for being alloaro.

And also shout out to alloaros who really do want sex but that dysphoria is getting in the way. It sucks to like sex and want sex but unfortunately your physical form is stopping you.

In very related news, you know how dysphoria gets way worse once you stop being in denial about it and accept that you do want to transition? Yeah. And I can't even get a referral to anyone until my appointment with my new primary care on June 7, so... This post is mostly for me as I navigate the lovely feelings of being an aroallo who would quite like to have sex but does not like the equipment it is working with.

[kozzax]

Shoutout to all aroallos out there btw. You're so cool n sexy for being aroallo. Keep up the good work. I'm so sorry society just. Decided to forget you existed even more than it decided to forget aroace people existed. They should pay all of you One Million Dollars for being so great.

[heavenzcore]

so was anyone gonna tell me disventure camp was a total drama fan series, or was i just meant to wait until i saw one of the official pieces of art and clock the art style???? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN WHATTT....

also!! stolitz postingg!!! oh my gosh u havee nooo idea how much i hate some ppl on tumblr because they just unequivocally hate stolas and act like blitzø did nothing wrong when theyrr BOTH fucked up. theyrr both morally grey and their relationship is messy and theyve both been in the wrong and in the right at different points like AHHGH....

stolitz is swag actually. so is aspec blitzø yourr so right and it actually makes SO much sense . thats an aspec disaster if ive ever seen one.

HEEHDHDH YES IT IS!!! :] I DON'T KNOW HOW CLOSE IT IS TO TOTAL DRAMA LIKE PLOTING WISE, BUT IT IS VV SILLY ^_^ I LIKE IT ALOT AND I JUMPED AND POINTED WHEN I SAW YOU RBED ART OF IT !! MY SHOW... (SHOUT OUT MIKE !!) IT DOES DO A P GOOD TOTAL DRAMA IMPRESSION ART STYLE WISE :)

ALSO GOD. I CANNOT IMAGINE, ITS SO GRGRGR BECAUSE THATS THE POINTTT ITS COMPLICATED!!! AND MESSY!!! AND BLITZØ LEAD STOLAS ON SOMETIMES TO GET WHAT HE WANTED (IE: OZZIE'S, TAKING HIM FOR A "DATE" TO SPY ON MOXXIE AND MILLY) AND JUST BEING A DICK ABOUT IT (IE: STOLAS TELLING HIM CLEARLY HE DOESN'T WANNA SEE HIM AND STILL FOLLOWS HIM THROUGH THR CASTLE) ITS MESSY AND FUCKED UP!!!!PLEASE BEGING TUMBLR TO NOT TAKE AWAY BLITZØ'S ASSHOLE STREAK + NUANCE TO THE SITUATION SHIP THATS WHYY ITS SO FUN!!! IT REALLY IS SO AWESOME :) SHOUTOUT FUCKED UP CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS

YESYYES , BLITZØ NEEDS TO LOOK UP AROALLO ON A COMPUTER AND INSTANTLY GET BLASTED BACK THATS SO RAVEN STYLE . AROALLO WHO HASNT REALIZED HES ARO YET VOICE* : WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP TRYING TO GET WITH ME ROMANTICALLY

[all-seeing-ifer]

@overlord-of-chaos @somestorythoughts of course!!! This is by no means an exhaustive list of stuff written about asexuality/aromanticism - I unfortunately can't read everything - but these are some great places to start:

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen - probably the most well-known book on asexuality and with very good reason, an incredibly thoughtful book that takes a very intersectional approach, with a lot of discussion of how ace people's experiences are impacted by race, gender, age, disability, culture, religion etc. Also one of the rare books to actually discuss aroallo experiences in any kind of depth, so worth checking out for that reason alone imo!

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J Brown - I cried multiple times reading this one lol. I think it provides a good counterpoint to Chen's book, in the sense that while that one is aiming for a very broad discussion of asexuality and a-spec identity in all its forms, this book approaches it from a very specific and personal perspective. That said, it also manages to be a great resource in terms of its discussion of asexual history, which I always appreciate, and I think the chapter about the concept of frigidity is especially a must-read!

Ace Voices: What it means to be Asexual, Aromantic, Demi, or Grey-Ace by Eris Young - perhaps a bit less typically "academic" than the previous two, with more of a focus on personal experiences both of the author and of the people they interviewed for this book! Discusses aromanticism in perhaps the most detail of anything I've read, and again actually discusses the experiences of aroallo people, which I think is very cool!

I'd really recommend checking out the collection Asexualities: Feminist and Queer Perspectives in general - it has a ton of essays on a wide range of different topics and I think is an especially great starting point for thinking about how asexuality can overlap with race, gender, and disability. If you want some specific essay recommendations, On the Racialization of Asexuality by Ianna Hawkins Owen is a personal fave of mine, but I'd also recommend checking out Masculine Doubt and Sexual Wonder by Ela Przybylo, Spectacular Asexuals by Karli June Cerankowski, and "Why Didn't You Tell Me That I Love You?" by Andrew Grossman

Reconsidering Asexuality and its Radical Potential by CJ Chasin - a really good starting point for beginning to think about the potential implications of ace activism for people beyond the asexual spectrum, as well as for starting to think more radically about depathologising low sexual desire

And finally, while it's not strictly about asexuality, I do want to give a shoutout to Hetero Barbie? by Mary F. Rogers - a segment from her book Barbie Culture that has since been reprinted as a separate essay in several collections (and is available in full on the internet archive hehe) . It discusses the relationship between Barbie and normative ideas of gender and sexuality, and briefly poses the idea of interpreting Barbie as asexual. While it doesn't go into much detail about this, I think it's worth mentioning purely because the original book was published in 1999, making this the earliest mention of asexuality in academia I've found so far! (though I'm sure there are plenty of earlier ones I've yet to look at!)

Anyway thank you very much for your interest!! I hope you get the chance to check out some of these!!

I've spent so much of the last few months reading all these books and essays and such about asexuality (and about aromanticism when I can fucking find them) by aspec people for my master's and it's been such a lovely experience but also. idk shit's weird man. like you take even a cursory look at the literature and discussions and there's such a wealth of new and interesting and nuanced perspectives on consent and rethinking the way we talk about sexual trauma and the insitution of marriage and discrimination against single people and the institution of psychiatry and the limits of modern discourses of gender and sexuality and relationship anarchy and capitalism and reproductive rights and culture and history and narrative structure and feminism and how all of it is influenced by race and gender and disability and culture and it's WONDERFUL but also. every single time I read something like angela chen's ace or sherronda j brown's refusing compulsory sexuality I can't help but wonder about how much we've missed out on. how much interesting thought and discussion and new ideas have we missed out on because of all the years these communities lost to the fucking "ace discourse". how many important conversations could we have had sooner if a small number of entirely disingenuous bad actors and a larger number of the most useful idiots on the planet hadn't declared it open season on an entire subsection of the queer community because they wanted an excuse to bully 16 year olds online. how much more could we already understand.

[amethsys]

I posted 7,779 times in 2022

That's 7,764 more posts than 2021!

110 posts created (1%)

7,669 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@maddestmewmew

@geeky-gay-greek

@how2spell-sandwhich

@clingyduoapologist

@unstableunderscore0xz

I tagged 896 of my posts in 2022

#deltarune - 42 posts

#no id - 35 posts

#text..post… - 32 posts

#undescribed - 24 posts

#save - 23 posts

#deltarune chapter 2 - 23 posts

#kris dreemurr - 15 posts

#kris - 15 posts

#me - 14 posts

#kris deltarune - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#cup this take is on fire!!!! ctommy was quite a comfort for me but due to the situation and other things i’ve been distancing myself

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i cannot for the lif of me figure out what is happening here, if someone could help that’d be appreciated, the image is one of the portraits from Hollow Mind

its in the corridor where all the memories of the previous golden guards deaths are

18 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#4

Orca my beloved little f,uckijng Skrunkle look at yoh AQH BABY

Freaking ugh they’re my betstie now slrry

19 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

#3

37 notes - Posted September 14, 2022

#2

49 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Shoutout to aroallos

Shout out to loveless aroallos

Shoutout to loveless heartless aroallos

Shoutout to aroallos who are cis and het

Shoutout to aroallos who are aplatonic

Shoutout to aroallo men

Shoutout to aroallo women

Shoutout to every single aroallo, y’all get so much shit from people in and out of the community, keep your chin up!

207 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[tigercomplex]

alotta the reaction to the notion that queer people are promiscuous, sexually deviant, predatory, and so on is to reject that by focusing on romance, on softness, on domesticity in an effort to normalize us in the world’s eyes and while i get it i just cant get behind that method of pushback. the goal is to dismantle the idea that hookups are bad, that sex is bad, that multiple sexual partners is bad, that sex outside the norm is bad. the romance focused approach doesn’t address this and only leaves us with the same problem, but this time brushed under a rug.

[dragonfire2lm]

(Vent) Romantic and Sexual Attraction: Two Different Forms of Attraction.

I'm wondering why the heck aromanticism and the aromantic spectrum frequently gets lumped into the same space as asexuality. I've lost count how may times I've had to explain that romantic and sexual attraction are Two Different Things...

Sure, I'm demiromantic, yes a romantic relationship is the bond I need to develop sexual attraction. But there are aroallos, alloaces, and so many different ways that romantic and sexual attraction is expressed that I am getting tired of seeing people not know the difference.

You can have romance without sex.

You can have sex without romance.

I figured out I was demisexual by way of fanfiction. I created an OC that shared my views on sex in a setting best described as a visual novel inspired harem fanfic, a collaboration with The Boyfriend, and our readers, along with a friend of ours ( I have no idea if they're still active on here or read my posts, but shoutout to @steampunkserpent they were a godsend during all this) pointed out that I might be demi.

Cue the existential crisis and hour long research binge as I absolutely panicked.

Learning I was demiromantic was relatively tame compared to that, saw a meme, realized "wait that's a thing?" and everything just clicked into place. It took me learning about both spectrums to realize romantic and sexual attraction are two different forms of attraction.

It's just frustrating because the most I can do is browse the demiromantic and demisexual subs and point it out when I feel up to doing so (I'm a lurker) and, if my muse is willing, include this sort of thing in a few of my fanfics.

It just seems kind of odd to me is all...

[amethsys]

Shoutout to aroallos

Shout out to loveless aroallos

Shoutout to loveless heartless aroallos

Shoutout to aroallos who are cis and het

Shoutout to aroallos who are aplatonic

Shoutout to aroallo men

Shoutout to aroallo women

Shoutout to every single aroallo, y’all get so much shit from people in and out of the community, keep your chin up!