#how we break

[tojisun]

Hey Tojisun!! It’s been forever since “How We Break” but I come back to it every now and then for a good read and heartbreak! Lol. Recently I was re-reading your work and in one of the follow-ups where Toji, mamaguro and our “son” are having dinner together where Toji’s son informs of packing up and leaving with mom and Gojo. Toji (I believe) or mamaguro looked offended when his son defended his moms name when Toji accuses of her talking badly about him causing him to move away. And his son’s response was something like “my mother would never”. Remembering the “let’s hurt the fushiguro agenda” and I took it a step further and headcanon his son saying “and even if she did (leave Toji ) then it’s probably a personal problem with the women you pick up”. Like do you get where I’m coming from with this!? 😭 so sassy but also really hits both of them in the gut…

I would love to hear your response to this please!

Have a good day! 🖤

HI BABY! god yea it’s been three years since hwb and im in awe that there continues to be so many ppl interacting w it 🥹 thank you (all) dearly!!

AND GODDD U WENT THERE 😭

aiko going, “damn. mom’s leaving you too? you seeing pattern here or am i gon have to spell it out?” mid-dinner LIKE LMFAOOAOSOS

he’d hit two birds w one stone i fear: make toji self-conscious and drive that knife down mamaguro’s back. “see how my mom left? see how she didn’t return and ruin your cohabitation with dad? very nice. very dem—”

inherently i know aiko wont disrespect mamaguro bc she did try her best and that’s his older brother’s mom, and i guess it really isn’t all her fault that toji left you (reader) because toji made that decision himself—it’s not like she seduced him and yk urged him to leave you—but the pettiness in aiko, the way in which he cant help but spit out vitriol? yeah i see him doing that

toji’s always gon be the main antagonist in his eyes though so yea he will be petty. for sure. he is his daddy’s (gojo) son, after all, and being petty is a lifestyle for them :3

but yea teehee thank you so much for this bc i can vividly imagine it and im LUVIN it!! take care love <3

[hinamie]

I'm always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home

[akanemnon]

What is this tension?

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

(Chara's dialoge being a different shade of red is NOT a plot thing. It's just supposed to make it easier to read)

[xandrikart]

The most beautiful thing about Drawtectives is that you can choose any combination and you will be right. But no way I'm ignoring a beautiful garb next to York.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[noodles-and-tea]

For the twins in time AU, I genuinely wonder what kind of people the young twins grow up into because of Stan’s/Ford’s influence. Especially if it takes years for the portal to get fixed.

(Sorry if it seems like I already sent this question, I don’t know if it got sent the first time I asked)

I haven’t fully fleshed out how Ford grows up in the past but I do have thoughts on Stan presently

[jjkyaoi]

“what’s gayer the lesbian sex or jayvik” the lesbians. the canon lesbians. can we focus on women loving women relationships for once and not try to bring ur fucking fake yaoi into Everything oh my god y’all piss me tf OFF

[lotus-pear]

mourning black and the death of ideals

[fairsweetlonging]

i'm absolutely weak for liu qingge returning fans in fics and eventually there being a part where shen qingqiu is given a fan that isn't his but not saying anything because he doesn't want to "embarrass liu-shidi", especially if the author doesn't elaborate so we never know if liu qingge is giving shen qingqiu gifts or if he accidentally stole someone else's fan out of habit.

[divorcedfiddleford]

hold shifty gentle like hamburger

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Archery Nemesis.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[tojisun]

this is how we break!toji in the au where he left a preggo reader and unborn baby himari ALONE 🗿 foul evil man

OH MY GODDD ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE HOW WE BREAK BXJSJDJEN CRYING AT THE ACCURACY OF THIS??

(this aint even hwb!au. this is canon toji 😭)

[birdy-babe]

THEY’RE LEARNING SO MUCH ABOUT EACH OTHER

Things they never knew before. God I love them so much.

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[edwardsdeathcabcd]

i've said it before but it will forever and always make me insane that jacob's ending is to join the cullens for the sake of bella not having to give anything up. they find out jake will be immortal & tied to renesmee forever, so bella gets to smile & say "my family is finally complete! ^-^" but jake already HAS a family. he has a father and 2 sisters. quil, embry, seth and sam are like his brothers. jacob and leah were planning to run away together. he's always been welcome in emily's home, sue has been a family friend since before his birth. bella abandons her mortality by choice because she feels no connection to the people around her, but jacob has really strong bonds. it's clear that every character we meet in la push is like family to him, he's an active member of the community. jake would've graduated high school and been a mechanic, would've grown into a young man. a good friend, a fun uncle, a present son. he's set up to have such a rich life. and he's just magically compelled to give that up. beyond his control, he loses sight of everything, because his high school crush's baby is now the singular most important thing to him. he's perpetually 18 with his perpetually 18 year old girlfriend, running around vancouver or alaska or wherever with the girl who friendzoned him at 16 & her in-laws (who were antagonistic to him for months). and i'm just supposed to say omg yay now he doesn't have to let go of bella! everyone is happy! it's complete madness

[thesituationship]

I actually do need all the angsty artists and writers to remember, ford is an optimistic person. This man is full of enthusiasm and whimsy. His love of all things weird is infectious. It's why he gets along with Mabel so well. Hell, it's why his autistic rizz manages to pull two bitches. His manic pixie dream girl energy is off the charts.

Think about how lucky we are. As a mad scientist, with a giant ego, who found it hard to connect with people emotionally, it would have been soo easy to write ford as cold, crude, cynical. Rick Sanchez or Dr House coded. I beg you, don't squander the whimsy.