#how to walk away
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And darling, you need to be patient with yourself. The pain does not vanish overnight. You heal one day at a time, one step at a time. And maybe, just maybe, in six months from now, you will find yourself enjoying a day where the pain ceases to exist. Be gentle on yourself, allow the healing process to take place.
Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #411
09.04.2023
11:17 pm.
#little teenage things#my words#my work#my writing#the girl with the flowers in her hair#the girl with the flowers on her hands#the boy with the devilish smile#prose poetry#fictional writing#healing#love#heartache#how to walk away#how to move on#self love#self healing#unrequited love#unrequited affection#unrequited feelings#unrequited romance#written thoughts#spilled thoughts#spilled emotions
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I was at a bookstore looking through the art section and I saw a spine that said The Camden Town Nudes which was interesting because this didn’t seem like the bookstore where I would ever find something like that and I wanted to have a casual look but like. This also wasn’t exactly the bookstore where you felt like you could look at naked pictures let alone just suggestive paintings of them, it’s a really small shop as well, so I was like right I’ll just take a quick peek, I’m an art student, I love history, maybe I’ll buy it. I looked both ways and saw the shopkeep had left momentarily and no one was about, so I opened it and found it was an entire book featuring nude Edwardian women all painted by Walter Sickert between 1905-1912 and it was actually quite a revolutionary set of paintings for its time given that it featured very raw depictions of working class nude women in dark London instead of the elegant, white bedsheet clad, Demure middle and upper class women usually depicted.
And of course RIGHT as I flip to this lady’s boobs practically taking up an entire double page spread, every customer in a 5 mile radius appeared from around the corners of the shelf including the shopkeep and immediately regressing to a wet, pathetic Edwardian man from 1908, startled, I dropped the large book which caused a giant SLAP on the floor in this already silent store thus causing all patrons to look down at me scrambling on my knees to close a giant book of Edwardian boobs and let me tell you it would not have been nearly as funny had I not immediately felt like some Edwardian local pervert who just tried to sneak a cheeky peek at the erotic book in the bookstore only to drop it dramatically causing a scene, red up to his ears trying to shove it back on the shelf. Like such a casual and normal thing in modern day but looking at Edwardian women suddenly turned it into this egregious act as I apparently became possessed by the spirit of a moustached man in a bowler hat and morning coat going Good Heavens I mustn’t gaze upon these images in public lest the constable haul me away!
#Like it was the fact that if it had been any other book on the same subject I would not have batted an eye#Suddenly it was 1912 and I was doing something scandalous#And I’m sad because I wanted it but obviously I didn’t buy it because how could you at that point#The still deeply traumatised soul of an Edwardian man prohibited it I guess#So instead I walked away with books on caring for antiques and WWI unironically#I need to draw this#me#laugh tag#edwardian era
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Yeah, I don't know about you, Fidds, but I'd fold at this 🙏
Previous!!
Next!!
First!!
#no Stan don't use the puppy dog eyes Fidds won't be able to say no!!!#yeah I don't know where this is going but i made more lol#should i keep going i actually don't know#are you guys liking this PLEASE ANSWER ME 😭🙏#stan has hit the luck goldmine in his lifetime of the exact opposite#the last time he was this lucky he was born and even he's not too sure how lucky that actually was 🙏#Fiddleford does NOT want to rebuild that portal guys 🙏#i have a feeling that he might anyway though 🤞🙂↕️#cole's art#art#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#gravity falls comic#yeah cause i am drawing comics now#that small drawing i did as a joke has really run away from me..#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddlestan#vampire fiddleford#werewolf stan pines#werewolf stan#gravity falls halloween au#i love you guys that followed me for this 🙏#why is stan spilling his guts about pushing his brother into an interdemensional portal to the first shmuck that walks by??#well..... idk he sees Fidds and hears that he knows Ford and he sees him as Ford's friend and he thinks oh man he deserves to know#mullet stan
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tim: nah man, i stay away from drugs, last time i touched that stuff i killed someone
jason: you… killed someone?
tim: i mean, she was resuscitated after and definitely set it up so i would kill her (i think), but you know it’s the principle of the matter right?
jason: that’s an original experience i fear
#tim seems like the type of guy to randomly drop lore about himself then walk away.#we need to talk about how tim killed lady shiva more often#it was so badass#but also showed a lot about himself when he became upset afterwards#dc#robin#tim drake#red robin#jason todd#red hood#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#lady shiva#sandra woosan
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#The Ghoul#Cooper Howard#fallout tv series#fallout#went through the 7 stages of grief multiple times while drawing that hat#think cowboy hats were invented just to torment artists trying to draw them#also redrew his face like 6 times but i don't wanna talk about it#if you ask how the gun is strapped to his back i will scream ARTISTIC LIBERTIES at you while walking away as fast as i can
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a random socialite at a fundraiser: you know Bruce, that boy of yours is getting to be a little too pretty. heh.
Bruce Wayne, who was also "too pretty" at fourteen and is absolutely ready to castrate anyone who even looks at Dick directly: oh?
#bruce wayne#batman#dc#batfamily#dick grayson#dc comics#tw gross old men at fundraisers#not sure how to tag that#but yes bruce was too pretty and ughhh the angst#it's not explored enough#but you KNOW he's not letting them touch dick#alfred tried his best but he couldn't be in the spotlight WITH bruce every second#and now bruce lets them talk and smiles and walks away and then ruins them
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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Hello Madam. Sorry Madam.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#madam jin#jin zixuan#jiang yanli#'Hey what is WWX trying to do here?' some kind of grab-and-twist maneuver that would be very upsetting to watch.#I know LWJ technically assists WWX in this scene in terms of blocking someone's blow on his behalf -#- but let's be honest. Real friends stop you from doing the truly stupid things.#Or maybe it was envy. Penis envy. The non-freudian kind.#Regardless...man this whole scene was just full of “and then someone else walks in”.#I swear to god every cultivator who is supposed to be hunting ends up wandering into this part of the woods.#a bonus for me because it gives me several good joke opportunities.#Madam Jin gets top prize for best entrance and exit. I wish her all the best. And a divorce…madam please leave him…#And can we please address the horses? I love horses. But why...why do they ride in on horses when they HAVE FLYING SWORDS?#I can only imagine it is for the dramatic flair? It just feels so jarring hearing someone clip clop in#and then another person swoop in on a sword.#The rules of mdzs's world can get fuzzy and I have to nod in an impressed manner at how much MXTX gets away not explaining.#Maybe the sword gets tired after a while and they need to give it a break? Maybe there is a sword union that dictates working hour limits?#…Would that make Chenqing a scab? Oh god it would… unions *hate* this flute!
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something about how garak and julian both lead with their worst foot forward as the first impression.
which is why The Wire works so well for them, because it’s both of them on full display in a way that forces them both to accept they either like each other at their most infuriating or they don’t. and turns out, they do like each other, even when they’re both being incredibly aggravating to each other.
julian contends with the reality that garak has likely killed and tortured countless innocent people, will likely never be truly honest with julian about anything ever, and that he can be incredibly venomous and cruel at his worst, and julian decides he still cares about garak and will still be his friend in the aftermath.
garak gets to see how impossibly stubborn and reckless julian can be, how frustratingly dedicated to his ideals of looking after other people he is, how utterly annoying julian can be when he’s got his mind set on something… and garak absolutely walks away deciding these are also julian’s best traits, even if garak thinks they might need tempering for julian’s own good.
they don’t actively consider each other proper friends until they have been forced to look at the parts of each other they might find most off-putting, and they both see that and go “… yeah, i still like him, even more now actually.”
idk there’s something about how they find themselves endeared to each other for the exact same traits that would normally drive others away. they fall in love with the whole picture right from the start. of course, julian can joke about garak having murdered people. he knew that from the word go and decided he liked garak anyway. of course, garak falls deeper in love with julian when he demonstrates his near-suicidal levels of dedication to protecting others, that determination was what sparked garak falling in love to start with.
and they can still dislike parts of that whole, garak definitely wishes julian would be more selfish (for the sake of self-preservation, mostly), and julian doesn’t exactly *approve* of garak doing morally reprehensible things, but… they knew exactly who they were falling in love with and went all in anyway.
something about falling in love with someone from their worst parts so that every time you have to reassess your view of them, it only makes them more lovable.
#star trek#star trek ds9#garashir#julian bashir#elim garak#.is this coherent i can’t tell.#.i think it kinda circles.#.i am using worst in a very subjective way bc idk how else to phrase this.#.it’s like. the traits that would make most people walk away.#.but it just makes these two run at each other full speed instead.#.i mean also julian does clearly have some weird specific kink for garak doing awful things.#.but idk if julian knows that himself.#.like he seems like he WANTS to be put off by learning garak did terrible things and then he just isn’t.#.anyway i love them both.#.happy new year folks.#trek meta
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On your most recent From the Couch post... is that a dragon tattoo I see poking out of Zuko's collar? ...................may we see more of it?
You may see all of it.
#dema answers#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla fanart#atla art#prince zuko#tales from the couch#atla modern au#atla au#zuko art#zuko fanart#atla zuko#Tattooed Zuko#For context!#He got those tattoos during what would be S2 in this AU#This was right before being accepted back home. So he got them during a—let's say—crossroads of destiny *wink wink*#Those are his shame tattoos. He's terribly embarrassed by them so the Gaang tease him about them. (He's secretly very proud of them tho)#It's all about the duality inherent to fire (and himself!) as well as protection.#The red dragon has his back at all times. It protects Zuko from his past—from everything that he has left behind and is walking away from.#The Blue dragon guards him front unknown threats. It curls over his left arm (his most vulnerable side) and rests its head over Zuko's heart#It's all very symbolic#Zuko loves his tattoos but is also embarrassed and ashamed of how he got them. He was in a very bad place at the time.#If he got the chance to get his tattoos done *now*—he probably wouldn't do it.#He wouldn't change a thing tho. They're part of who he is. A reminder of who he was.#Also they're kinda hot#So that helps#Also...I forgot to draw the blue dragon's body on the back of his shoulder so... Oops?#Let us all ignore that and focus on the sun/starbust tattoo on his chest instead#the gaang
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i just feel like someone should take one for the team and write the fanfic where miss homotron goes to dragonstone on foot, meets her situationship’s new lover, and immediately goes like blind with jealousy and fury (rhaenyra, as always when alicent’s near, looks and behaves like a very confused kicked puppy)
i just need homotron and saphotron to meet, so the real war can begin
#alicent’s already felt the shift in the winds and she took that shit hard#now that she has touched grass and connected with mother nature she’s ready to get her woman back#but not before she like screams at her for like a week straight#like i want unhinged#like not even mysaria knows how to react cause homotron is so deranged she might self-implode at any moment and take them all with her#in fact it seems like that would be the preferred out come for the woman#and rhaenyra is so pathetic she cannot get a word in (the same woman that walks to the dragon pit and commands the largest dragon to serve#but then Alicent’s there and mysaria is pretty sure that the targaryen queen is a moment’s away from bending the knee#really puts in perspective the green’s previous tactics when they possessed the biggest threat to rhaenyra to date#it doesn’t seem like Alicent wants to destroy rhaenyra though it seems like she just wants to yell at her a bunch#rhaenyra is like ‘she is helping me win this war!’ and alicent’s like OKAY CHEATER#mysaria is not sure if she should bolt or get some popcorn#jace is having an aneurysm#rhaenicent#hotd#house of the dragon#rhaenyra x alicent#rhaenyra targaryen#alicent hightower#mysaria
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putting those men in a Situation
#idk how the situation came to be. very in media res. if you have an answer id love to know#howd he end up picking him up like that. idk#star trek tos#star trek tos fanart#jim kirk#james t kirk#captain kirk#leonard mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#doctor mccoy#kirks pose looks like that meme thats like. just leave! just walk away!#i colored it and didnt like it lmao maybe ill upload that version onto kofi or something
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hellooo danandphilgames buddies!! happy belated 10 year (more like 5 but shhh) anniversary :-)
#dan and phil#daniel howell#phil lester#amazingphil#phanart#dnp art#IM SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO POST THIS HERE IVE BEEN MEANING 2 DO IT FOREVER#theres soooooo much i can say abt this piece... such a journey.... what a ride....#i gave this 2 them as a puzzle and had them sign a lil print of it and they were SOOOO SO SWEET WAHHH#i luv them sm.... im so grateful 4 their kind words it rly meant the world 2 me ;___;; <3333333#also dan was like “good luck to us doing that puzzle on the bus!” as i was walking away fkjhsdfhj#anyways anyways ok sry back 2 the pic!! theres SOOOO many parts thatd b fun 2 point out and explain but itd b too long for tags AAAAA#would any1 b interested if i made like... a thread on twt or smth mayhaps...? or reblog this with a read more underneath...?#ive only ever just posted art and dipped idk how non-tag yapping works despite me being on this site since i was like. 12 kdsjhfksdh#my art#if ur reading this hi ily i hope ur having a good day!! :-) <3
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Finally, my design for Mysterion!! this boy gave me so much heartache in the process of making this but its ok its all worth it for him <3
I also couldn't choose between the version with hair or without hair, so here's the one without under the cut (+ my initial drafts for his design):
#south park#south park fanart#south park the fractured but whole#tfbw#south park tfbw#mysterion#kenny mccormick#shroomer's archives: south park#shroomer's art !#time for me to yap about my design process in the tags again#so yea. MYSTERION!!! just another different flavor of kenny#are you sick of seeing me draw him yet#anyways. i made the poncho follow the shape of an M to recreate the M on his original design on his chest#but i also have green lines on his undershirt that travel up his arms and onto his chest to recreate the shape of an M#if the hood were to ever be ripped off#gave him the sort of police utility belts because he was close to the police in his first episode#and also just because theyre cool lol#ALSO I STOLE THE SPRAY PAINTED QUESTION MARK ON HIS HOOD i really like how it looks i think it was vicchaosz here on tumblr who inspired me#made the poncho ragged because. yknow. he dies a lot. that thing is not gonna walk away in tip top shape.#kept most of the colors the same with only a few changes like his boots and his underpants (which i changed to shorts)#OH AND MY FAVORITE HAPPY ACCIDENT!!! the underside of his hood was too dark in contrast to his shorts so i added some lilac to lighten it u#and it ended up looking like when mysterion goes into his ghost form in the game AND ITS JUST. UGH. SUCH A COOL HAPPY ACCIDENT.#so yea: not only did it help with the contrast its also THEMATIC!!#i swear he's not shorter in the lineup hes just slouching#i love this feral ass pose i put him in#ok i think thats it if you read this far ily and i smooch you#mwah#i hope this post does well lol i put so much effort into this
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Just thinking about s4 but when Alpha!Eddie grabs Steve to shove the bottle against his neck, he doesn't realize Steve is an omega and accidentally scruffs him. And Steve is just boneless, kinda goes down. And Eddie isn't expecting deadweight and almost falls ontop of Steve but realizes what's happening (let's just say he's fought off a few bullies who scruffed members of his pack). He immediately drops the bottle and holds onto Steve, who tries to scent Eddie. Just shoves his face into Eddie's neck and nuzzles it, lets out a purr unintentionally.
#Obviously from then on it would be different because Eddie's inner alpha would be like I GOTTA PROTECT THIS SELFSACRIFICING IDIOT#And Steve is just like wow Eddie can manhandle him?? He's so strong!! Eddie stole a van??? He's such a provider!!#Steve still has the 6 nuggets convo with Nancy and Eddie overhears still and is like trying to calculate how many names he can come up with#Eddie throwing his vest so Steve will be covered in his scent cause Nancy is also an alpha and no thank you look at ME Steve#Steve has those cartoon hearts floating around his head and is batting his eyes watching Eddie mess around with Dustin#Oh I could go on#When Steve gets scruffed and starts purring Robin is just standing there like 🧍♀️#Robin turns every once in awhile while the two are flirting and looks at an imaginary camera with a ARE YOU SEEING THIS look#Anyways when Vecna gets defeated and torn to smithereens and the upside down starts to close permanently#And Eddie recovers in the hospital (still got hurt) Steve is very territorial and sits by his side the entire time#Wayne walks in and pulls a Robin just goes 🧍♀️ and walks back out for a moment#Wayne is like who is the omega (as if he doesn't know he just wants to see Eddie's response and make him sweat)#And Steve is all indignant like I am your future son in law the future mother of your grandkids#And Eddie is blushing and twirling his hair and biting his lip he's 3 seconds away from asking to bite his mating gland#Oh I could still go on but...I shant...(I will later)#Steddie#Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson#Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson#omega!steve harrington#alpha!eddie munson#eddie munson/steve harrington#eddie munson x steve harrington#Omegaverse#Jade is talking
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