#how to start reading leftist theory

[thankyouforthefunny]

Funny how the leftists who brag about reading theory and have enormous superiority complexes are constantly demonstrating they don’t have any functional knowledge about civics in the US

You don’t have to like Kamala Harris, but by saying “if she really cared about Palestine she would’ve started an arms embargo or demanded a ceasefire by now” you’re blatantly advertising how completely uneducated and uninformed you are. You’re at the same level as the dumb redneck conservatives you love to complain about.

If you’re under the impression the vice president has control of the military, can pass legislation, can sign things into law, can bypass the Presidents’ actions etc etc, you sincerely need to go back to Schoolhouse Rock instead of spending your time embarrassing yourself online for moral superiority points.

Additionally, it would be nice for non-Palestinian “allies” to stop using the genocide of Palestinians as a gotcha buzzword to shut down any type of conversation about the realities of the choices for president. Stop leveraging other people’s suffering and deaths to feel good about your political stances.

[communistkenobi]

hi, i'd like to read marx's capital, but I've heard it's quite challenging. do you think there is a best way to go about reading it, maybe skipping or reading chapters in a particular order or taking notes in a particular way?..

I read some parts of it a very long time ago so I can’t give specific advice on what to skip. I’m preparing to read it in August for an exam, and I’ll be using David Harvey’s companion to Marx’s Capital as a study + learning guide. David Harvey also has video lectures about it that you can watch, which are probably the most accessible.

however, and I mean this in a completely non-judgemental way, I think an important question to ask is why you want to read Capital - is it for Marxist theory cred? Are people telling you that you have to read it? Do you feel you ‘need’ to read it to understand Marxist theory or call yourself a socialist/communist? Is it casual intellectual curiosity? Is it part of a larger reading set that you’re doing? I’m not going to discourage you from reading it, but i wouldn’t recommend starting with it if you want to read Marx, particularly if you haven’t read a lot of economic/political theory.

and i want to be clear I’m not trying to talk down to you, I ask these question to myself constantly because it helps inform my learning priorities - what is it that I want to get out of this text, what are my goals and expectations, what personal/intellectual/moral worth am I tying to the completion of this text, and so on. Capital is a difficult and boring read! something I’ve seen both on and offline is people try to read it, it’s dense/confusing/boring, they give up and feel discouraged or think they’re ‘too stupid’ for Marxist theory, when like in reality it’s a specific text intervening on a particular set of political debates in Marx’s time, and is also an origin point for a wide range of political and economic belief systems that have undergone fundamental and global developments in the nearly two centuries since its publication. Which is all to say that I think picking up Capital for the sake of simply reading Capital sets yourself up for failure, disappointment, and potentially feeling stupid/incapable of meeting the demands of your own political convictions. Which is not a good mindset for communists to be in! CLR James says that every cook can govern; Marxist theory should not be a site of personal misery and intellectual punishment. A challenging text is not the same thing as a confusing or boring one, and I think there is a lot of moralistic expectations floating around in “leftist spaces” (big quotation marks) about the development of “critical thinking skills” as this miserable slog of whipping yourself into being radical.

I call myself a communist and have not read Capital; not only are there many other works by Marx to read, not to mention the nearly infinite amounts of secondary sources that engage with Marx, it’s also not something I feel is going to answer the questions I need when I want to read theory. I am specifically reading this text because I have to be qualified to teach it and regurgitate it on an exam, which is how I’m approaching this text. I think asking yourself what your approach is (are you doing it to advance your own learning, to answer specific questions you have about Marxist theory [and what are those specific questions?], to inform your historical understanding of the development of continental economic theory, etc) will help answer some of these “philosophy of learning” questions. Maybe Capital is the place to start based on your own motivations and prior reading, but maybe it’s not. And if it’s not that’s totally fine! Marx is perhaps one of the most responded-to European political thinkers of modernity - we are engulfed in theory engaging with his ideas. You have your pick of the lot

[fdelopera]

Bigoted white Karen with a large online platform produces an overly long YouTube video where she spreads lies, conspiracy theories, and slander against an ethnic minority group that has been persecuted for over 2000 years. When she is called out for her bigotry, she doubles down and produces a four-hour hit piece against this ethnic minority group, which is riddled with disinformation, mistakes, and more lies.

Then when she's called out again on this four-hour rant, she pulls the "I have a ____ friend," and she claims that she consulted with two members of the ethnic minority group that she is slandering. Like a fucking coward, this white Karen hides behind the two people she claims to have spoken to. Moreover, she refuses to see the bigotry in tokenizing the two members of this ethnic minority group who agree with her white Karen ass.

Then when this white Karen is called out even further for spreading bigoted disinformation, she pulls a James Somerton, and she starts deleting parts of her videos without apologizing for the harm she has caused. And like James Somerton, she also deletes comments from people who point out her lies.

This is a clear-cut case of a bigoted white woman with a large online following trying to slander an ethnic minority group.

.

What I am describing, of course, is Jessie Gender's recent Jew-hate diatribes on her YouTube channel, but I have written it in a way that YOU, dear reader, get to find out if you are an antisemitic bigot too.

Read the above paragraphs knowing that I am talking about Jews, and see how you react.

Do you acknowledge that Jessie Gender's videos are filled with antisemitic bigotry and disinformation? Or do you equivocate and make excuses for her, once you know that I'm talking about Jews?

.

Dear reader, I am giving you an opportunity to learn from Jessie's mistakes. The best way to combat bigotry is to do exactly the opposite of what Jessie has done. Here are five suggestions:

1) Acknowledge that you are engaging in antisemitic bigotry. Admitting your own deeply rooted prejudice against Jews can sometimes be the hardest part. The very first step in combatting bigotry is to say (and mean!) five important words: "I'm. Sorry. I. Was. Wrong."

2) Don't tokenize Jews. Don't just look for two Jews who agree with your bigoted viewpoints. Instead, actually talk to many different Jews, including many Israeli Jews, to get a nuanced perspective of the struggles that Jewish people face.

3) When Jewish people (who are not the Jews you've tokenized) tell you, "Hey, you're being a bigot," actually listen to us! Don't discount us. Strive to learn from us. Don't double down on your prejudice.

4) Combat your own egotism. If you are an egotistical asshole like Jessie, when someone tells you, "Hey, you're being a bigot, and your bigotry is putting Jewish people's lives in danger," your first response may be to say, "No I'm not! How dare you call me a bigot!" This is a knee-jerk reply, and it comes from a place of hubris. Instead of doubling down, learn how to apologize. Then do the active work to listen to Jews so that you're not contributing to the Jew-hate that we face.

Remember, the five words that an egotistical person like Jessie struggles to say are: "I'm sorry. I was wrong." Don't be like Jessie. Be better.

5) Look at the company you are keeping. Maybe you're hanging out with Leftists who have secretly been watching Neo-Nazi videos, and they've been feeding you antisemitic talking points that actually come from far-right white supremacists like David Duke and Richard Spencer. Or maybe your Leftist friends have been scraping their Jew-hate rhetoric from Protocols of the Elders of Zion, which is still used as a textbook throughout the Arab world. Or worse, maybe your Leftist friends have stolen their ideas word-for-word from Hitler's Mein Kampf.

If you spout Nazi rhetoric (and so many of you Hamasniks sound EXACTLY like Hitler), then guess what! Congratulations! You are a Jew-hating bigot!

This is a quote from Hitler's Mein Kampf, from 1925. And it could just as easily come from the mouth of a Hamasnik as it could from a Neo-Nazi today. Next year, it will be 100 years since Mein Kampf was published, and it feels like the Hamasnik movement has dragged us full circle, back to Nazi Germany:

The Jews domination in the state seems so assured that now not only can he call himself a Jew again, but he ruthlessly admits his ultimate national and political designs. A section of his race openly owns itself to be a foreign people, yet even here they lie. For while the Zionists try to make the rest of the world believe that the national consciousness of the Jew finds its satisfaction in the creation of a Palestinian state [aka a Jewish State in the British Mandate of Palestine -- 99 years ago in 1925, when Hitler published Mein Kampf, Jews in Eretz Yisrael were called Palestinians], the Jews again slyly dupe the dumb Goyim. It doesn’t even enter their heads to build up a Jewish State in Palestine [again, Palestine was the word Hitler was using for the British Mandate of Palestine, aka Eretz Yisrael] for the purpose of living there; all they want is a central organization for their international world swindle, endowed with its own sovereign rights and removed from the intervention of other states: a haven for convicted scoundrels and a university for budding crooks. - Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf

Yo Jessie Gender! Guess what, there's a cure if you find yourself sounding like Hitler! It's called EDUCATE YOUR DAMN SELF, YOU FUCKING BIGOT.

In conclusion, if you find yourself being a Jew-hating bigot on main, just remember this: the first step in overcoming your antisemitic prejudice is ADMITTING that you are a bigot.

Use Jessie's example as a warning. When people call you out for spreading Jew-hate and putting Jewish lives around the world in danger, don't double down. Instead, begin by saying these five vital words: "I'm sorry. I was wrong."

[aroacesocialist]

I’m a teenager in high school in the U.S., and I am interested in leftist book recommendations. I def will gladly take both fiction and nonfiction. I currently am reading Erasing History by Jason Stanley, and have read How Democracies Die by Ziblatt and Levitsky, Malcolm X’s autobiography, and the communist manifesto. I know they aren’t books, but I’ve also watched so many hours of video essays focusing on the struggles of both queer people and other minorities. I am interested in history, theory, and civil rights movements, nonviolent or violent. I am also planning on reading Huey P. Newton’s Revolutionary Suicide, Noam Chomsky’s Myth of American Idealism, Angela Davis’s Freedom is a Constant Struggle, Ned Blackhawk’s The Rediscovery of America, and Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde. I am a cis white guy, who is also aroace, if you could not guess based on my name. I am open to any book recommendations that explain how the fuck the world got here, minorities and their liberation movements/current books by them, and what to do under a Trump Presidency. I would also love if you could recommend books that aren’t just by cis white guys, because I do want to diversify my perspectives I am honestly open to any recommendations as I just do not know where to start. Thanks everyone!

[problemnyatic]

maybe internet leftism would be more effective if so much of it wasn't framed in this sneering, shame-on-you language that seems mote intent on guilting people for not being leftist enough than actually extending an understanding hand to people who people who, believe it or not, do actually realize that something is deeply wrong with society despite not being Properly Enlightened And Educated on All Of Leftist Theory as to why.

Yeah, we all post the You Are Not Immune To Propaganda jpeg, but do you still have an internal threshold of propaganda exposure by which others stop being human to you? Do you write off anyone who doesn't already understand the things you do as stupid? Do you understand that to create a genuinely far-reaching movement, you need to be willing to reach people that are substantially different than you and meet them on their level?

Yeah you believe everyone deserves human rights, but do you actually respect the differences in life experince you'll face when engaging with people outside your circle of theory-reading leftists?

And just to be excruciatingly clear: none of these are rhetorical questions. None of these are accusations, and if your response to these questions is to get defensive rather than to self-reflect on whether your practices reflect your principles, I urge you to then ask yourself if your desire to create effective change is being impeded by your apparent need to feel like a "good leftist".

I really, really get feeling frustrated with the world, with how fucking many people seem content to just buy propaganda, with how frustrating and exhausting it is to walk people through the baby steps of what feels like having a very basic grasp of reality. Your outrage is justified and your feelings are very real and deserve to be respected. I'm not here to tone police people expressing their very real anger and grief at the horrible ways global imperialism is hurting us all.

My point here is that, when your goal is to actually inspire others to seek further education on leftist matters, to actually increase the total amount of leftism in the world, you need to be asking yourself if the methods you are using are actually effective. It can feel excruciating to be patient when the world is already so on fire, but you can't just shame people into not needing to be met on their level. It demonstrably does not work, and will work against all of us if the impression you're giving others is that leftism is the mean, scary option even to people who genuinely mean well and want to do better.

I see so many posts rightfully trashing on the widespread culture in the US and beyond of teachers and authority figures simply punishishing people who don't know what they're expected to yet, instead of actually teaching them. I see so many posts on here about how it's okay to need to learn life skills you were never taught. Why does this seem to evaporate when it comes to teaching others leftist theory? That's not rhetorical either, please, really, genuinely ask yourself this question, let it sit with you for a long time.

I know how urgent it is to get people to come around. I'm panicking too. I'm angry, and I'm frustrated, and I'm dumbfounded at how long its taking so many folks to get a fucking grip on what's so broken about society. But I understand that the assertion that the answers should be obvious does nothing to change the fact that, to so many people, to enough people, it isn't. That we need to meet them on their level, with kindness, if we're to get them on our side. Leftism starts at home. It starts with your personal relationships, how you treat others when it's inconvenient and difficult.

Leftism starts with kindness.

[paragonrobits]

so apparently there's Megatron sympathizing discourse in Transformers One (which unfortunately happens every time he's given a tiny bit of nuance instead of acting like Cobra Commander spent 50 years doing nothing but Super Coke), and its the same bizarre trend of people ascribing leftist and revolutionary principles to a character whose personal slogan is 'PEACE THROUGH TYRANNY'

and its especially annoying in TF One because in terms of recent Transformers adaptations, it is by far one of the least appropriate for this. You're seeing a lot of people stretch themselves into accordians trying to ascribe morals to Megatron that he does not give a damn about

evidently there's people going 'Optimus Prime is a fascist dictator' because ???

look. The entire movie has Orion Pax/Optimus Prime talking with wide eyed ideals about FREEDOM, PERSONAL AUTONOMY and MAKING YOUR OWN CHOICES, while Megatron is generally depicted as being a very firm believer in the rules and in systems. You do as your told and follow protocol, he says, and things are fine. This is very much a precursor to their later extremes, but its possible to read Megatron as completely indifferent to injustice in the system as long as it doesn't effect him, personally; heck, he outright DOESN'T CARE that he was born as a disposable miner, while Orion finds it unjust.

Megatron spends the movie mostly concerned with himself; he doesn't honestly care that much about societal problems, only about his own grievances. That, on its own, is not a fascist or power-mad mentality... but it is telling that the biggest moment he has in his character arc about any kind of statement is first that he wants to horribly murder and torment Sentinel for the things he did to Megatron.

Not for the societal ills Sentinel engineered, not for the unjust conditions of Cybertron he created, but because of what Sentinel did to him, personally; even at his best, Megatron is largely concerned with his own problems, his own suffering, and his character arc focuses a lot on him getting worse, backsliding from a more compassionate view until all he cares about is lashing out and taking out his problems on everyone else.

And the biggest moment there is when he seems to outright agree with Starscream's idea of 'the only thing that matters is one bot's power over another' and that's kind of a nail in a coffin for this Megatron being any kind of stand-in for your flavor of revolutionary praxis. That's an EXTREMELY militaristic viewpoint at best, and is probably the most outright fascist statement in-series.

Megatron's turn to villainy is him furiously trying to kill Sentinel in cold blood despite him already being deposed at that point, and he's clear that the only reason Megatron cares so much is what Sentinel did to him personally; its not about injustice or righting wrongs or rebuilding the world or how history will look at this moment, he's bitter and violent and wants to take it out on Sentinel. This is then followed up by him accidentally killing his closest ffriend, and thene DELIBERATELY letting that friend fall to his death so he can have his revenge and then start blowing up buildings at random to destroy the legacy of a now-dead dictator.

None of this makes him a revolutionary, and its honestly kind of ridiculous to act like he is. At best it implies that you don't think a revolutionary has to have actual ideals and political theory, they just need to kill the Bad Guy and then everything is magically good forever.

That's not just absurd, that's just childishly naive.

[anarcho-catboyism]

I've been wanting to write a longer thread about this for awhile.

If you're new to the concept of Anarchy, even if you know the basics, you most likely have never heard of Anarcho-Nihilism. If you know basic leftist Ideologies, or just scrolled Political Compass pages, you know of Anarcho Communism, and most people understand there's other branches for marginalized groups like Queer Anarchy, Anarcha Feminism, etc.

This thread will go over Anarcho-Nihilism and the basics of what it is. It will talk to the reader as if you already understand the basic concepts of Anarchy, so if you don't, I recommend reading "Life Without Law" before coming back here.

Anarcho-Nihilism: A Beginners Text To How Fucked We Are

Anarcho-Nihilism is a post-left ideology, meaning that most of the substance of its standpoint are direct criticisms of not just Anarchy, but the leftist movement as a whole, which means Anarcho-Nihilists often reject the label of "Leftist" all-together.

Anarcho-Nihilism is also directly connected to Individualism and Egoism, with more modern Anarcho-Nihilists aligning into Eco-Extremism as well.

Post-Left criticisms, which includes Anarcho-Nihilist criticisms, of the Left include but are not limited to the Lefts view on Organization, Revolution, Unity of Ideologies, Fetishism of Work and Industry, and need of Popularity Politics. We will get into these shortly.

Brief History and Moments of Inspiration

Anarcho-Nihilism takes inspiration from a wide range of people and movements in history, but the earliest "creation" of Anarcho-Nihilism starts with the "Nihilist Movement", which was a Russian movement in the 1860s which focused on attacking traditional ideas of society such as morality, authority, traditionalism, and religion. This came from the growing divide between older radicals and the younger generation who were disillusioned towards older forms of leftist organization and ideas.

Russian anarchist Peter Kropotkin discussed the movement itself, stating "defined nihilism as the symbol of struggle against all forms tyranny, hypocrisy, and artificiality and for individual freedom".

Early forms of Russian Nihilist theory incorporated Egoist theory into its ideas, and saw that all morality, aesthetics, and social institutions were meaningless, but they did not see all ethics, knowledge, and human life as meaningless.

Russian Nihilism was characterized throughout Europe for being linked to Political Terrorism due to multiple assassinations and assassination attempts against politic officials, including the assassination of Tsar Alexander II in 1881. Historian M. A. Gillespie concludes that Russian Nihilism was at the core of revolutionary thought in Russia throughout the lead up to the Russian Revolution.

Anarcho-Nihilism as a movement grew with voices like Kaneko Fumiko, a self identified Anarchist and Nihilist who was convicted of plotting to assassinate members of the Japanese Imperial Family.

Kaneko had many experiences from working with the notably Christian Salvation Army, to studying socialist movements and revolutionaries, anarchist theorists, and Nihilist movements. She only maintained a brief relationship with the Salvation Army, not compelled by their beliefs as well as being abandoned by a Christian friend after he felt his growing feelings towards her were threatening his beliefs. From the Salvation Army she jumped into the socialist movement, but was let down as she found Socialists would often behave in ways they directly advocated against.

Kaneko says her radical shift from Socialism to Anarchism and Nihilism came in 1922 when she met Hatsuyo Niiyama, who she considers her closet friend. Hatsuyo introduced her to thinkers like Max Stirner, Mikail Artsybashev, and Friedrich Nietzche. Kaneko also met Pak Yol, a Korean activist and anarchist who shared her belief systems.

Kaneko and Pak themselves helped continue to define a new set of Anarchism that aimed away from the common ideas of Syndicalism and Union Organizing, Kaneko herself writing about her views in a document made to the court in 1925 after she and Pak were convicted of attempted assassination, stating "formerly I said 'I negate life'... [but] my negation of all life was completely meaningless... The stronger the affirmation of life, the stronger the creation of life- negation together with rebellion. Therefore, I affirm life...Living is not synonymous with merely having movement. It is moving in accordance with one's will… one could say that with deeds, one begins to really live. Accordingly, when one moves by means of one's own will and this leads to the destruction of one's body, this is not a negation of life. It is an affirmation." Kaneko also claimed she wanted to "throw a bomb at the Emperor to show he, like everyone, will someday die" to deny his authority as all powerful.

One of Kaneko's main criticism of the Socialist Movement was the treatment of women, including her, in the movement itself, and this further pushed her into Anarchism and Nihilism as she believed that even these Socialist men would abuse their authority should it be granted.

Blessed is the Flame: The Anarcho-Nihilist Manifesto

"The anarcho-nihilist position is essentially that we are fucked. That the current manifestation of human society (civilization, leviathan, industrial society, global capitalism, whatever) is beyond salvation, and so our response to it should be one of unmitigated hostility. There are no demands to be made, no utopic visions to be upheld, no political programs to be followed — the path of resistance is one of pure negation." Serafinski "Blessed is the Flame"(2015)

Blessed is the Flame is considered one of if not the theory for Anarcho-Nihilism of the modern age, with its criticisms of organization and resistance during times of great tragedy.

Blessed is the Flame is a piece of text about not just Anarcho-Nihilism, but Negation through the lens of the Holocaust and Concentration Camp Resistance. The theory takes the time to explain to the reader just how bleak the reality of life was for concentration camp prisoners, and how the Nazis did everything in their power to snuff out rebellion at its core, and how people rebelled anyway, even when there was no hope to rebellion. Because of this perspective, and usage of a great tragedy, many have criticized Blessed is the Flame for romanticizing the struggles of camp prisoners, even if the author meant not to.

Blessed is the Flame, nonetheless, does the important task of putting what Anarcho-Nihilism is into digestible theory that can be spread and built upon.

Blessed is the Flame asserts that, as the quote says above, Anarcho-Nihilism is the belief that the world as we know it is fucked, to put it simply. That the current systems of domination such as white supremacy, patriarchy, colonialism, etc. have their roots too deep to be organized away, that we have reached past the point of no return for ecological destruction (Global Warming), and that we should meet this hopelessness with destruction.

Blessed is the Flame, and Anarcho-Nihilism, directly criticizes the Marxist idea of Progress. Progress, as in, the idea that Humanity overtime progresses in its worldviews and we will naturally get to a point where Humanity achieves some better world without hate or exploitation, away from the systems of domination. It is argued that history shows we do not progress up, even if we have moments things seem better, we keep crashing harder and harder as the systems of domination grow stronger and root themselves deeper into our lives and psyche. "The conception of history that came out of the Marxist tradition (dialectical materialism) dictated that the transformation of society would pass through capitalism... to transform into socialism and eventually communism. This meant that progressivism was embedded within this (the dominant) branch of socialism."

Blessed is the Flame also argues that, "This stands in direct contrast to other anarchist tendencies that place at least some emphasis on “positive programs” — aspirations to construct something ideal in the present world or to craft plans in preparation for the downfall of the current system. Anarcho-nihilism understands the positive program as “one that confuses desire with reality and extends that confusion into the future” by either making promises about what a revolutionary future might hold, or attempting to bring those conditions about from within the existing order."

To put it more plainly, Anarcho-Nihilists argue that whatever we try to build under these current systems will be co-opted, capitalized, and/or destroyed as they will be at odds with these systems. That our socialist programs, minority solidarity movements, etc. will always find their ways back to being assimilated into the death machine that is industrial civilization.

Imprisoned members of the CCF (Greek Conspiracy Cells of Fire) write, "We anarcho-nihilists ...don’t talk about ‘transformation of social relations’ towards a more liberated view, we promulgate their total destruction and absolute annihilation. Only through total destruction of the current world of power... will it be possible to build something new. The deeper we destroy, the more freely will we be able to build".

The argument is that if we meet the state with negation, with destruction, then our positive movements cannot be co-opted and destroyed. The further we dismantle the states control, the more freely we can take the time to build ways we can help each other.

In this same frame of argument, Anarcho-Nihilists, including the aforementioned imprisoned members of the CCF, argue that creating strict organization is "construction of a dam that tries to control the impetus of the abundant stream of Anarchy". Anarchy is fluid and will take many paths, and attempting to redirect Anarchy onto one path is undesirable.

Coming back to Post-Leftism, Anarcho-Nihilist (as well as Post-Leftism) critiques the lefts style of organization, the revolution, and a need for popularity politics. Blessed is the Flame brings up how the Nazis used this concept of "future time" to break the spirits of camp prisoners, through slogans such as "Freedom Through Work", being told they were being taken to Sweden only to end up in Auschwitz, taken to be Showered only to be stripped and put into prison clothes, told Work was Freedom only to be worked to death. The Nazis, cruelly, suspended the Prisoners in this Limbo of time between certain death and uncertain future, breaking their resolve to fight back as fighting back could cost them that possibility of freedom. The key to insurgency wasn't to open the curtain to reveal the lie of future time, as this lead to despondency and the further breaking of the soul. Blessed is the Flame argues that the key might lie between what is dubbed "Lager-Time" (future time) and Suicidal Despondency, something called "Suspension". In Suspension, there is no focus on the past nor future, but rather, the need to survive in the current moment. Breaking free of that suspension in the present, throwing away the chains of time, lead to violent uprisings and revolt even in the most hopeless of situations.

The paragraph above ties into Anarcho-Nihilisms critiques of the lefts view of the aforementioned 3, organization, revolution, and popularity politics. Anarcho-Nihilism argues that the left views organization as a non-violent house of cards that must be meticulously built up fully, no matter how many times it gets knocked down, and that our Revolution may only come after this house of cards is built. The left with also argue that this house of cards can only be built through their ideas becoming popularized, such as "workers of the world uniting", and once that happens then Revolution is an inevitable force. Leftists argue that revolution WILL happen, this precarious house of cards WILL be built, and there IS a better world and denying this is anti-revolutionary.

Anarcho-Nihilists reject this, viewing this as a form of Lager-Time, unable to act in the present because of uncertainty, or rather a false certainty, of the future. Given what was previously said about Anarcho-Nihilists view of Progress, they argue that radicals shouldn't wait for some Rapture like "revolution", that while we wait for workers to unite, fascism builds and global warming worsens and capitalism continues to evolve like an ever growing leviathan. The fact is, Anarcho-Nihilism claims, there isn't a reality where the workers of the world all wake up and unite against the common enemy. Even in socialist movements there lays bigotry against marginalized groups that chokes the life from these movements and further scatters the solidarity amongst each other.

Anarcho-Nihilists, as well as Blessed is the Flame, directly oppose the lefts modern form of organization, which is built on democratic circles and layers of policy and aesthetics. Needing to go through 3 different rings of people to do action just delays, and defangs, the action. Anarcho-Nihilism advocates for decentralized forms of organization, where the "org" is disconnected from each other except by name and motivation. If you want to do action, you just fucking do it, no bureaucracy bullshit. Examples of these modes of Organization is ELF (Earth Liberation Front), ALF (Animal Liberation Front), and the CCF (Conspiracy Cells of Fire). Each of these fronts is without leaders, without form, moving like water to serve the cause when needed. To be a part of groups like these, such as ELF and ALF, you need only to agree with the views, and that's it. You can create an ELF or ALF group right now with friends and go do shit.

At its core, the Anarcho-Nihilist critique is that of an Individualist one, of the collective vs. the individual. This critique argues that often, the will of the collective can overrule the freedom of the individual, stunting action and even self that the collective was supposed to foster (This specifically being a similar argument that Max Stirner, the "Father of Egoism", has discussed).

"...think back to 2012 when the CEO of an Italian nuclear power company was shot in the kneecap by two anarcho-nihilists who claimed the attack under the banner of the FAI. After the attack (which was partly inspired by the 2011 nuclear disaster in Fukushima), the pair released a communique pointing to the various atrocities committed in the name of nuclear power and calling for an all-out attack on the nuclear industry. In response to that action, the Anarchist Federation in Italy (a formal Marxist organization with no relationship to the FAI) issued a response that condemned such a renegade action: “... we strongly criticize individualist and vanguardist tactics that do not come out of a broad-based class-struggle movement. We condemn actions that put workers in danger without their knowledge...” According to this perspective, the individual acting without the validation of a formal collective, and without respect for working class solidarity, has no place in an anarchist movement. In counter-response to this (and other condemnations), insurrectionary and nihilist keyboards ignited with scathing indictments of this breed of “civil anarchism” that tries to restrain individual attacks behind the “working class” banner." Blessed is the Flame.

So, if we are fucked, and Leftist modes of organization can strangle action, what is there to do? Why fight back?

Hope Is Not A Plan: Jouissance and Insurgency

 Jouissance is a French word for "enjoyment" but can have connotations related to "uncivilized desire".

"Jouissance is an ecstatic energy, felt but never captured, that pushes us away from any form of domination, representation, or restraint, and compels us towards fierce wildness and unmitigated recalcitrance. It is “the process that momentarily sets us free from our fear of death” and which manifests as a “blissful enjoyment of the present,” or a “joy which we cannot name.”[110] Jouissance is the richness of life evoked by resistance, the spirit that allowed Mária Jakobovics to continue her acts of sabotage despite the sting of the club or the threat of the noose, and the spirit that perhaps allows many of us to lead lives of resistance in absolutely overwhelming circumstances. It is the visceral experience of negation as ecstatic liberation." Blessed is the Flame

Jouissance, for Nihilists, is the core of Anarchism. The need, no, the Joy of resistance to keep us alive and going. Not fighting because we might win, not fighting because we might lose, but fighting because we can and we fucking will. "Inmates who physically confronted their oppressors were not engaged in a “rational political struggle for a better future,” but rather understood the futility of their situations and chose to fight back regardless."

Said from the CCF, "what really counts is the strength we feel every time we don’t bow our heads, every time we destroy the false idols of civilization, every time our eyes meet those of our comrades along illegal paths, every time that our hands set fire to the symbols of Power. In those moments we don’t ask ourselves: ‘Will we win? Will we lose?’ In those moments we just fight." Anarcho-Nihilists favor Insurgency and Insurrection, not Revolution. Anarcho-Nihilists are for short bursts of violent energy, of humans taking up arms not for some convoluted idea of politics, but for the goal of rebelling. Like the burning of the Minneapolis Precinct in 2020, letting the rage and rebellion of those of us still living shining through and proving we still have fight in us, we won't die quietly in the night. These short bursts of violent energy encouraging humans to negate the will of the systems of domination, and encouraging more radical action and eventual destruction of these systems entirely, because what else is there? We live under these impossible systems, we fight and possibly die or we don't fight and we DO die.

"The active nihilist sees in the unknown future and despair at our current situation, a call to arms. Meaning is found in approaching the void rather than in the false knowledge of what is on the other side of it." —Attentat

Embracing the Void: How We Can Use This

On a real level, I don't expect you to read this and instantly agree we are fucked. Embracing this idea that our world is gone is a difficult one, and a depressing one.

Instead we can focus on what Anarcho-Nihilism brings to the table regarding its critiques and ideas.

We can begin to embrace decentralized modes of organizing, instead of searching for some Vanguard party to get swallowed up into. When you have an idea, do it. Get with friends or peers and go out into the world.

We can embrace negating the system when at all possible, illegalism as a tactic.

We can embrace the uncertainty of the future and, instead of waiting for things to get better, we can take action NOW, in the present, outside of suspension to do what we can because we can. Our nihilism does not have to paralyze us, it can instead energize us.

Anarcho-Nihilism Reading List

Blessed is the Flame

Blessed is the Flame (Audiobook)

Desert

Desert (Audiobook)

The Insurrectional Project

The Economy is Suffering, Let it Die!

Uncivilized

Say You want an Insurrection

Anarchy: Civil or Subversive?

Armed Joy

Notes on Post-Left Anarchism

Accomplices not Allies: Abolishing the Ally Industrial Complex

Rethinking the Apocalypse: An Indigenous Anti-Futurist Manifesto

Voting is Not Harm Reduction - An Indigenous Perspective

[no-stupid-questions-official]

someday i would really like to put together a masterpost for helping intellectually, developmentally, or learning disabled; less educated people as well-- learn leftism and give them resources of what to read, how to get involved with community, how to advocate for themselves and their beliefs, and how to stay physically/emotionally/financially safe, especially since disabled people get taken advantage of a lot.

so the question is: where are some good starting points for making a masterpost on these kinds of topics?

a lot of things i find are either really dumbed down or are made for allies. i wanted to do this because i feel like a lot of the "read theory its so important!!!" leftists dont understand the educational barriers that some people might have. any information that i could start with would be really be appreciated. i would really like to start encouraging discussion of this topic among leftists because it is often ignored. thank you so much to anyone who responds!

-

[jewish-vents]

I've been a huge fan of Jessie Gender and their videos for a long time, she is an incredibly kind and thoughtful person, always trying to see everything from both perspectives to gain a deeper understanding

But being a leftist it was inevitable that she'd make some kind of video on the topic of I/P

Which is exactly what I saw in my feed today

It's hard to describe the anxiety I felt reading the title and seeing fucking Bibi in the thumbnail

I gathered my courage and clicked on the video, albeit skipping right to the "conclusion" section

Now granted I didn't watch the whole video and I'm sure Jessie has presented a lot of good points and has done their research but... what I heard in the conclusion section was honestly enough for me to not want to watch the rest of the video no matter how well done it is (similar to Dead Domain talking about the subject)

Of course OF FUCKING COURSE despise the framing of the video as a starting point of a discussion on antisemitism on the left and a rejection of binary thinking and how "anti" movements don't inherently facilitate actually building something instead of just destroying (which is so true) we still ended up with: "I fear this video will be taken as me saying that antisemitism is a large scale problem deep in the core of leftist ideology and buying into the horseshoe theory"

News flash it is, antisemitism is deeply ingrained into culture as a whole everywhere so of course there'd be a huge antisemitism problem on the left (because there is) and specific types of antisemitism endemic to the left *cough* soviet propaganda *cough*, not to mention that most leftists simply never bother to deal with antisemitism that has been ingrained in them by virtue of living in a society

Which is especially apparent now when I a lot of the time genuinely can't tell the difference between a leftist and a neonazi when it comes to jews which is really fucking scary you know?

Don't remember who said it but "antisemitism is the hammer forging the horseshoe theory"

I'm just so tired of this

Oh and we couldn't go five minutes of a conclusion without stating "genocide", of course of course...

I feel like I'm going insane

I should've expected this, after seeing this happen so many times I should be more prepared but I'm not

Maybe I'm overreacting and the rest of the video is fantastic (which I hope is the case) but I just can't think of any reason why torturing myself trying to watch it is a good idea

Not when we just had our own January 6th it seems

(fuck the officials endorsing storming a military base and military court IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU)

.

[polyphonetic]

I see stupid posts about the stupid goings on and the stupid takes quoting stupid articles, and I start to see blood and knives and gunpowder until it drips out of my teeth, and then I take a deep breath, and go... okay... it's time to be a responsible little civilian and go read a reputable news source as opposed to just timeline osmosis.

So then I go to NPR, and then I read about how the expanded western alliance military industrial complex is commiting horrific war crimes. And then I read about how Republicans are proudly wishing for the death of the people I love and care deeply about. And then I read about how some billionaires are doing horrific things to their employees, their families, my fucking Earth habitat, and then I have to stop the despair of just. By the stars of this beautiful universe I fucking hate being politically informed sometimes.

And then I go read Erin Reed's page. Suffering but minute victories. Somehow the struggles of people like me being written down makes it feel more tangible. I can feel that people care, and are trying. People care enough to write down that they care, even under horrendous societal pressure to die. And I feel a little better.

And then I read, say, Jewish Currents. I'm not Jewish, but I'm a tired frustrated leftist who read a lot of the Old Testament, because I was forced into the Christian church as a kid. And I like their textual analysis and sense of coming to one's own conclusion of what you read. So I'm an outsider in this context but what they say I can apply in my own way, and it's comforting even in a remote sense to feel understood or some camraderie, specifically in the sense of political action. And I feel a bit better.

And then I read through Wikipedia's articles on particular Buddist concepts. I don't have anywhere more concrete to read about more direct modern thoughts, but reading theory feels nice. It helps me remember that I'm both a part of this world and also appart. Holding the nondualism of all things gently in my hand like an egg. And I feel a bit better.

And then that gets me to focus on my body and what I am actually feeling. And what I really need is some blueberry flatbread with cream cheese and peanut butter. And I feel a lot better.

I gotta take care of my body as best as I can, and I gotta take care of my world as best as I can. And in a sense I only have so much control, as an imperfect unemployed traumatized girl. But I can fill out my ballot, and I can talk about things with my friends, and I can have a bit of flatbread. I dunno if it has yeast or not, that's not the point of this. And I can go to bed, with the same determination to someday go to bed at a better time. But it's about wanting to, and trying to, and getting help and helping others near you.

[hero-israel]

Hi, if you don't mind answering, I have a question regarding Israel. I figured any Jewish person in Israel or not probably knows better than I could guess after occasionally reading Tumblr for a couple of months. What do you think is right/wrong about the Israel government, what should it be like and what should it do now? I would be thankful if you could answer.

Some context, if it makes any difference why I'm asking: I'm Ukrainian, and I was surprised first time I saw people comparing Israel with russia. It felt wrong to me from the start, cause it made more sense to compare terrorists with terrorists instead. Western leftists seem ignorant and delusional to argue with them, but I also saw this opinion from some Ukrainians on twitter, so I got interested to learn a bit more to get proper arguments against this comparison. Then I learned that quite a lot of Jewish people here are against current actions of the Israel government in Gaza, which at first looked strange to me cause it's a very different situation from what we have in Ukraine. I figured that Jewish people are the best source to learn "what's wrong with Israel government" without being flooded by conspiracy theories. I support Israel, but I don't want to support things that most of you guys actually disagree with. And another thing, personally I don't see how it's possible to get rid of hamas without harming civilians in Gaza, but I saw here Jewish people arguing that both Palestinian and Israeli civilians shouldn't be harmed. That's why I asked a few people on Tumblr what they think Israel should do to get some opinions, though perhaps my question among attacks was seen as an attack too. So this time I add this long clarification, sorry about that 😅

Thank you for the insight - I particularly appreciate hearing what this sounds like from Ukrainians as they face their own crisis.

I support actions that protect Jewish lives and Jewish rights, everywhere in the world, including in Israel. I want governments moral enough and strong enough to do that, everywhere, including in Israel. Sadly, Israel is really fucking it up for the last year.

No one should be happy with what is happening in Gaza. It is an appalling humanitarian disaster, exactly as Hamas planned it would be. Once they were able to stage their attack, Israel had no choice but to invade; to have done anything other than invade would have sent a message to all their enemies that they would just lie back and take it, and that is a message they cannot afford to send.

The current Israeli government is one of the most ultra-right-wing, revolting, criminal, and incompetent out of any democratic nation in the world. Their stupidity made the Hamas attack possible. Benjamin Netanyahu has been PM forever and kept winning elections because despite his ugly, crooked personality, he was good at the job, good from economic and diplomatic perspectives, and avoided major change with the Palestinians. As he stayed in office longer and got more crooked with age, his scandals and campaign crimes piled up until it really looked like he could face prison for it. For a cruelly, tantalizingly brief period, the more forward-thinking elements of Israeli society were able to oust the far-right parties, but eventually that fell apart for the dumbest and most aggravating reason ever and Netanyahu was able to come back. This time he boosted up fringe ultra-right-wing candidates who were too extreme to function in a "real" government but who promised to help him change laws so he wouldn't go to jail. The actual process of changing those laws - transparently to end the investigations of the MULTIPLE indicted or convicted criminals in this government - tore Israeli society apart. People were warning for MONTHS that military readiness was plummeting. The Hamas attack plan had been known since around 2015 and an even more detailed version surfaced last year. They were all just too busy working to legalize crime and settle old scores than on watching the border where the genocidal fascist militia lives.

I don't know what the proper plan at this point is. After 3 months, I'm still very much emotionally stuck on "what you are supposed to do is PREVENT THIS, YOU IDIOTS, THAT IS YOUR JOB, AND NOT A HARD ONE." I don't think I will ever get past that, it was so obvious and I had been losing sleep all year fully expecting something like this to happen. Within the first few weeks after the attack, I saw a message from former PM Naftali Bennett about how it would be relatively quick and easy to flood all the Gaza tunnels with seawater and that would solve the problem; kill off Hamas troops, destroy their weapons, collapse their bases. Clearly they haven't done that yet. Does that mean it can't be done? If it can be done, then I lean towards thinking the current campaign should go on until it is done. If it can't be done, then I'd like to hear exactly what the goal of this incursion is and how long they expect it to last. Are they going to kill 30,000 people in the course of disarming and expelling Hamas? Or are they going to kill 30,000 people and Hamas will still be a recognizable threat anyway? If it's the latter, why kill all those people, why not stop now? When do they stop? Those are fair questions.

Basically all Jews "support Israel," insofar as they want it to keep existing as a Jewish state. Basically all Jews who support Israel also truly have no ill will toward Palestinians. They see Palestinians' problems as being less severe than the problems Jews have faced, historically and recently, and not worth the risks to Jews if an Israel did not exist. They believe in peace and want there to be a two-state solution, either because they really want a better life for Palestinians or because they want to stop feeling vaguely guilty about the occupation, or a mix of both.

I hope this was in any way helpful and regret that I couldn't be more precise about what the future plan should be.

[transmutationisms]

been thinking it for a while but it is both an interesting and frightening thing to see more and more people in their 20s who are usually self-professed hard-leftist progressives get more and more into emotionally-driven, kneejerk 'takes' about how everything new to them is bad and evil and 'this generation' (usually people younger than them who they seem to base all their opinions on from some teens dumb tiktoks they see) is stupid and doomed and the world/'our culture' is constantly degenerating, etc. many of the people who think of themselves as radical leftists are coming out with more and more barely-formed, incoherent and emotionally-driven reactionary ideas, and respond to any criticism of these ideas with defensive appeals to disgust or a general sense of 'everyone just knows this is bad!', bypassing needing to think over their own ideas or articulate the reasons they hold them entirely in favor of reactive outrage.

it feels to me like were watching in real-time how many of us will progressively turn into reactionary liberals or right-wingers - something many of these people have observed in older people, in their parents, but believe will simply not happen to them on account of having good intentions and progressive views, which they think means they dont need to watch themselves for impulsive, reactionary thinking, and even that their kneejerk reaction to anything is automatically the correct one because they themselves are already inherently good. of course it starts with generally inconsequential takes, its not like saying 'the tiles are ugly' automatically makes you a right-winger, but i reckon the festering of such modes of thinking shows the cracks in the foundation of many peoples professed political and social beliefs.

point being, i think there certainly are discussions to be had about the ways architecture - both as a tool that serves a material need and a form of art - changes, and what we may be losing to capitalist priorities on that front, but if the only argument people are making are "its ugly and degenerates our once beautiful culture" and their defense to anyone addressing how that sounds ends at "well its still ugly!", im thinking that kind of reactionary opinion-forming is going to seep into other, more important matters sooner than they may think. sorry for the long ask!

yeah i mean i definitely don't think this is a new problem or a generational one, it's just liberal idealism, but yes this is exactly why this type of aesthetic discourse irritates me so much lol. like i've said this before in regards to clothing but aesthetic signifiers gain their meaning in a social context and conditionally. if your analysis is "it's ugly and therefore bad" you're not only attenuating an actual read of what's being signified and why, you're also just veering directly into the most boring ass "everything is worse now and change threatens me" conservatism. the idea that ugliness and beauty are not transhistorical or transcendental truths should ideally be like, a starting point to both questioning other socially mediated constructs and to then moving toward a theory of asethetics as products of social discourses and economic conditions but instead people just cannot ever fucking resist yelling about how much beige or concrete or whatever the fuck is "soulless" or "lacks artistry" agabshxhsg it's so fucking cornball. get over yourself

[forwehavecometothecrossroads]

I don’t want to be defeatist but after seeing the return of ableist slurs, language, and behaviors within “leftist” and “liberal” spaces. Along with the lack of masking and other covid precautions…I’m starting to really get nervous about the outcomes of any sort of revolution. I’m sorry to say it, but some American leftists and liberals are just…..performative (I’m being nice with the some because so many of them don’t take covid precautions.) They don’t mask, don’t listen to disabled people, and have a huge problem with speaking over disabled people. They just read theory and often times barely put any of it into practice beyond words. Well a loud sect of them (the ones who want to be Twitter celebs and write scholarly articles for prestigious universities) do that, but there’s a good few that’s not screaming “JUST READ” at people and actually idk helping….. Like what’s the point of all that reading and you are refusing to stop the spread of a deadly virus which needs YOUR body as host to do so. You can’t say you represent a progressive lane of thought that is anti colonist and then don’t comprehend or care about what disabled folks have to say. Your just blowing shit out your ass and praying it don’t stink. BUT IT DO! Y’all are funky as FUCK! It’s like how you going to succeed at a revolution without the people who gave it its name? Remember!!!!! Harriet Tubman was disabled!!!! Her disability is not something that can be ignored in the context of her legacy. So for you to sit on your high horse and believe that you can have your revolution without being in community with disabled people is arrogant at best. YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE!

[bagalois]

100 days of productivity - 6/100

jan 22, 2025.

✔ went to class ✔ washed my dishes ✔ meal prepped! ✔ put away groceries ✔ troubleshooted an issue with my fridge to my landlord

(more under the cut - warning for very long and kind of negative)

today's the first day of classes (where i'm a student)! i'm taking combinatorics, group theory, and algebraic topology.

the profs for algtop and group theory were... okay, i guess. i dont doubt they are very knowledgeable about their field, and the lecture content was all fine and good, but the presentation i fear was not so good. my algtop professor waffled on about inconsequential things that only made sense to him for probably half of the entire lecture (random jokes and pedantic clarifications that depend entirely on your specialty that, frankly, while i understand their place, the slight difference in convention between algebraists and geometers doesn't mean very much to me as somebody who is not that familiar with either field). and the group theory prof, he spoke too quietly and the entire class could barely read his handwriting.

also, i fear that i've come down with a cold or a fever, so even though i got a lot done, i felt pretty bad all day. i felt okay this morning but i still wore a mask. another grad student asked me why i was wearing one, and i told them i was worried i got exposed to some sickness, since i was feeling under the weather.

i was started to overheat and get overstimulated just from my combo prof's voice .-. and she was the only good lecturer i had today! straightforward, concise, and had briefly humorous moments that didn't detract from the rest of the lecture.

overall i've been feeling less than great, but getting as much as i have done today makes me feel better. posting, cleaning, cooking - all these things help ground me in some semblance of reality.

(begin cw: us politics)

it's probably because i'm sick, but i can't deny that trump's inauguration -- specifically how a lot of people are panicking about it -- is weighing on me. i really hate how little i know about anything. palestine-israel was what got me to seriously think about politics for the first time. of course i remember what i learned in high school history class, and as an ethnically han chinese person i paid attention to BLM and stop asian hate, but i didn't really think critically. my history classes didn't seem relevant when i was taking them, but of course they're relevant; the history is the context for what i'm living now.

eventually i was going to grow up and fend for myself and the people i care about in this country. i never realized that somehow. i have been so naive and ignorant.

it seems that everybody else has long understood what has been going on, with everything. but now my friends are panicking and i don't know what i'm supposed to worry about or not. when news articles and social media become untrustworthy, you need to rely on yourself - your own knowledge and critical thinking. unfortunately, i forgot to do that growing up...

(acknowledgement and disclaimer) i'm in a better position than most. the fact that i'm just worried about being informed is nothing compared to the others currently losing/have lost their homes, jobs, reproductive care access, their dignity (transgender inmates being forced to detransition), etc. so i don't mean to say all this to mean i'm genuinely panicking about living in trump's america. i just have a fever and i'm more stressed than i should be about the weight of my privilege and resulting responsibility if i want to call myself an ally/leftist/whatever.

(/end cw)

in any case.... i like to finish these things on a positive note so i'll keep writing.

i have to teach tomorrow morning at 8:30am :/ last time i barely spent any time reviewing/teaching summation notation to the class. i just showed them the anatomy of the notation and did one example, but for some it's their first time seeing that, so i should be spending more time on it.

after teaching, well, i wanted to sit in on riemannian geometry but if i still feel shitty tomorrow then i might just go home... i have textbook chapters to read and review so that'll keep me occupied while im not at school.

i'm taking a couple mg of melatonin as i'm writing this sentence. i need to rest. bye~

[fredersen]

i gotta start really reading some leftist theory sometime. like i was definitely a leftie before, don’t get me wrong, but the (far too common) experience of being a non-union laborer in the US who gets paid and treated like shit is making me really want to go like full throttle with learning this stuff. and the funny thing is that even though it’s naturally a bit upsetting to know exactly how i’m being exploited, it also gives me hope because i know i’m not alone in this

[weepylucifer]

24. "You're trembling." steban/ulixes

The whole mess starts like this: one afternoon, Ulixes doesn't turn up to the reading group meeting.

His absence is a stark confrontation with the fact of how alone Steban is. Thus far, as long as at least Ulixes was still coming to the meetings regular as clockwork, Steban could go on with business as usual and put off reckoning with how solipsistic his little pretense at a revolutionary cell has become. Pretend like any educating of anyone in matters of radical theory was still being done here... like other members could walk in at any moment and give the whole thing a purpose again. Now, with Ulixes absent, Steban sits and waits and drinks too much coffee and feels, though he tries to ignore it, a bit like an idiot with his metaphorical dick in his hand.

He considers his options: he could go out and try to recruit again, he could go to bed and have a depressive episode, he could do serious self-critique about where the reading group went astray and why, he could wallow in his misery about driving his friends away with leftist infighting. He could disband the reading group. He could steal Cindy's pyrholidon and get high. He could go to Uli's apartment and start a huge fight about his perceived betrayal. He could get high, go to Uli's apartment, and have a sobbing breakdown about how Uli is his only friend and Uli's absence would destroy his life.

All those destructive impulses are eventually pushed aside, and Steban decides he will go to Uli's apartment, to check if there's something wrong with him. Uli has never missed a meeting before. Maybe it's not betrayal yet. Maybe there's something he needs...

When he, an hour later, knocks on Uli's door, Ulixes opens looking perturbed and disheveled, but at least he doesn't seem sick or hurt.

"Hi," Steban says. "You--"

"Oh no. The meeting..." Ulixes looks so caught out and almost frightened that whatever was left of Steban's sense of betrayal immediately evaporates. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to miss it, I've been out all day and... I only just came back here, you have to believe me..."

Steban raises a hand. He doesn't like seeing his friend so anxious. "It's alright. What's going on?"

Ulixes suddenly slumps against the doorframe, his skinny form bending like a defeated reed. "It's Comrade Reading, he's... gone missing."

Ah, yes, Required Reading. Uli's new kitten. Uli's new kitten that Steban is all support for, because Uli having a gentle, non-violence-related hobby must be encouraged... as long as the cat doesn't come close enough to Steban to shed hair on him.

Steban likes houseplants. They're his preferred way of existing alongside nature as a communist should. They're pretty, quiet, predictable, and can be raised according to a manual. They don't yell at him in the middle of the night, or scratch him, or bite him, or break his things, or shit in a box he has to clean, or mess up his cleanly, tidy, pleasant little apartment. Besides, something about this particular cat is... strange. It meows and purrs and cuddles and plays and whatever else the things do, but there's something Steban can't put his finger on that is... weird. The less he sees of it, the better.

Still, if Uli wants a cat, a cat he shall have. If Uli wants to spend every moment of his free time with a cat and not his human best friend who can actually carry a conversation and doesn't smell like litterbox, well... so be it. Who is Steban to question his tastes?

"I opened the door briefly to get the mail and he darted out past me," Ulixes is saying. "I've been looking for him all day."

"Oh," Steban says, then makes an effort to imbue his voice with more sympathy, "I mean... oh."

Now, he expects, is when Uli is going to channel his concern for his pet into rage, the way he usually does, and vow some vague idea of vengeance onto the universe for making this happen to him. Now he'll say something over the top like swearing to murder whoever should dare harm or withhold his cat from him in several grisly and overly specific ways that will leave Steban a mixture of nauseated and fondly exasperated, because it's clear that while Ulixes dreams (in graphic detail) of violence, he has never actually experienced it up close, and these fantasies are just how he copes, and...

"This is all my fault," Ulixes whispers, and Steban is shocked to see his eyes beneath his glasses growing damp, "I'm so bad at this, and now I messed it all up."

He sits down on his desk chair and buries his head in his hands. "Why did I ever think I could take care of something? He could die out there, and it's my fault."

There's nothing for it. Steban's still not exactly fond of the cat, but... seeing Ulixes this quietly devastated turns the world inside out. Steban thinks, I need you like I need my limbs and blood and beating heart, and puts his hand on Uli's shoulder. "We'll look for him together."

----

They make missing posters and print them on campus, and Steban volunteers to help put them up around Uli's neighborhood. They spend the rest of the day looking for Required Reading, even when it gets dark, even when it starts to rain. Eventually, Steban makes Uli take a break. Ulixes resists it, but at some point, he does have to sleep. Steban stays with him as their rain-soaked clothes dry over the heater, and softly reassures him as he drifts into an uneasy sleep.

Two days go by. The rain doesn't let up. Ulixes keeps searching for Required Reading, and Steban supports him, though privately he's beginning to lose hope for the whole endeavor. Revachol is gigantic, and there are myriads of ways for a very small cat to vanish in it. And of course Steban is sad for Uli's sake, because Uli really loved - loves - that cat, and taking care of something small and vulnerable has revealed a new side of him, one that Steban finds intriguing. But... a part of him, a part he tries to ignore because he's not quite comfortable with having it in him to think so lowly, is... not too bothered by the prospect of things going back to how they were before Required Reading appeared. Back when he- when the reading group had Uli's undivided attention. When Uli was focused on him the cause. When Uli would look at him with adoring eyes and--

Stop, Steban tells himself. That's a scummy way to think, and wholly inappropriate when it comes to your comrade. Of course you want him to get his cat back.

He should interrogate that entire train of thought, practice self-critique and remind himself of the incompatibility of Mazovian thought with such... greedy possessiveness. But he's not ready to examine himself in this instance, so he pushes it all down and out of sight.

It's ironic then that, on the third day, Steban finds the cat first.

He's on his way to Uli's apartment. It's still raining and he doesn't have an umbrella, so he's steadily getting soaked through. All he really wants is to get out of the weather. Still, he pauses when he hears, from across the deserted square, a tiny cry, like a baby, or a...

...kitten.

They've pinned one of the missing-cat-posters to a lamppost on the sidewalk here three days ago. Now, under the lamppost, crouched under a soggy, discarded newspaper that offers only scant protection from the elements, there he is, meowing plaintively for help: Required Reading. His fur is plastered to his body with rainwater, but it is him.

(It would be so easy for a passerby to recognize that this is the cat on the poster. Almost as if he sat himself down here on purpose... but surely that's impossible. Cats can't read, or recognize themselves on pictures.)

(Weird.)

Steban shakes his head. It's probably just a coincidence. He'd better scoop the cat up before he runs away, hope he doesn't get his arms scratched up, and bring the little thing home to Uli. Cautiously, he steps closer.

Sigh. Here goes nothing...

Suddenly, he hesitates. A thought unfolds...

Maybe he could just... keep walking. Pretend he didn't see. Ulixes would never know. He'd be sad for a while, but eventually he'd recover, and then they'd spend time in their meetings again like they used to... no more cat hair on his clothes, no more mess, no more having to feign interest in an animal he honestly finds a bit off-putting... and Uli's attention would not waver again, and Steban would never have to ask himself what he even is without Ulixes.

He stands in silence while the rain beats down.

Required Reading has stopped crying. He's seen Steban and, doubtlessly, recognized him. He doesn't scamper up to him like Steban supposed he might. He simply looks at Steban with eyes that seem way too intelligent, and in this moment Steban is convinced that somehow the cat knows what he's thinking. Knows that Steban is considering abandoning him here.

Weird!

Or maybe that's just his conscience?

"This is nonsense," Steban mutters to himself. Of course he's going to bring the cat back to Uli. Because that's the right thing to do, and it'll take the anguish off of Uli's mind, and surely Uli will be so relieved and thankful. Steban can just picture it: his normally reserved friend smiling and hugging Required Reading close to him, and maybe then he'll set the cat down and hug Steban, too, and express his gratitude and regard for how Steban went above and beyond for him... maybe there'd even be a kiss on the cheek in it for him...

But no. Why would there be? Steban is used to kisses from his family members as casual displays of affection, that is just their way, but if Ulixes did that... if Ulixes kissed him on the cheek, it would be different, it would mean something.

Despite the rain, he blushes. What is this thought? What is he considering here? And anyway, he's not supposed to do things because he expects a reward. Again, what an inappropriate thought to have, about a comrade no less. He can't just stand here getting lost in... whatever this is. There's a task to do.

Slowly, carefully, telegraping his movements, he crouches down and reaches for Required Reading. By some miracle, the cat doesn't spook. He lets Steban scoop him up, his small, shivering body almost eclipsed completely by Steban's slender hands.

"Aww, pobrecito," Steban murmurs, dutifully, because that seems like the sort of thing one says. "You're trembling... come here, let's get you home."

"Mrreeep," Required Reading says, huddling closer to Steban's body heat.

Steban tucks him underneath his jacket and continues on his way. It's still pouring down upon him, and the cat sneezes into his armpit, but he barely notices, his head swimming with thoughts of what awaits him: the warm and dry apartment, maybe some hot coffee, the opportunity to bring Ulixes a wonderful surprise, the dread and self-recriminations leaving his comrade's face and being replaced with joy, the feel of his body pressed against Steban's in an exuberant embrace, the gentle rasp of his beard against Steban's own stubble when the--

Hm.

As Required Reading, bundled up under his jacket, starts to purr, Steban begins his struggle to contend with the fact that, apart from everything else he's got going on already, he now apparently dreams of his comrade's kiss.