#how to fix an anxious attachment style

[fashionably-forgetful]

why do i have an anxious attachment style but not my parents?

Attachment styles are shaped by a combination of genetic, biological, and environmental factors, and they can vary from person to person even within the same family. While parents can influence their children’s attachment styles through their caregiving behaviors during early childhood, it’s not uncommon for individuals to develop attachment styles that differ from those of their parents. Here…

[petri808]

Me after latest therapy session

[8thhousekat]

🩷Moon sign observations🩷

Aries moons: I’ve noticed that a lot of Aries moon people tend to have a certain interest that they are very very passionate about🙏 they also are very protective over their loved ones if you think no one has your back that one Aries moon family member or friend does they also may be addicted to drama❤️❤️

Taurus moons: the most loyal and caring people I’ve ever met they always find a way to make you comfortable in the most uncomfortable situations haha they also can get irritable when they are hungry or when they are stressed they may over indulge in food or things that may be comforting to them.

Gemini moons: a lot of them tend to always need to be doing something to keep them from overthinking and spiraling. They always know everything about everyone even people that are just acquaintances. They overindulge in media haha and they might have multiple things they are interested in or were at one point and it is the most random hobby ever they also may struggle with being anxious or having a lot of anxiety due to always asking why or making hypothetical situations in their head(this is my moon sign😭)

Cancer moons: they are always so caring they might accidentally parent their friends and family but it’s because they care about them so much. I’ve noticed that a lot of cancer moons that I’ve met are old souls they could appreciate antiques and older music🙏they are very practical at times and they always seem to know the right thing to say when you are upset

Leo moons: Leo moons just light up rooms when they smile their humor is immaculate. They also might have a tendency to hold grudges on certain people. A lot of Leo moons I’ve met have a very chill demeanor but once they get comfortable they really show their personality❤️ they are surprisingly stubborn too and have leader characteristics people just listen to them

Virgo moons: they are so anxious :( but very stable a lot of them might get stomach issues due to anxiety they also could stress clean😭 they get stressed out in unclean environments. Also might have a tendency to want to fix people or give solutions when someone is upset (this isn’t because they don’t care it’s because they want to help) virgo moons tend to be stuck in-between their head and their heart they also have very beautiful skin they take very good care of themselves and others.

Libra moons: you guys are so diplomatic and conflict adverse at the same time haha I’ve never met a libra moon who didn’t want to keep the peace. They are so sweet and they always seem to know what to say to make people feel better. They also might get stuck in situations due to getting attached easily. Libra moons also might have a hard time being alone because they just want to be loved😔 I love you guys sm

Scorpio moons: you guys are detectives on a monocular level you always seem to know how to get things out of people a lot of my friends are Scorpio moons and their dark humor is so fucking funny. They also are emotional even if they try to hide it they have huge hearts and care about their people. They love horror movies/games and When they are mad they might struggle with revenge fantasies and explosive anger. Very secretive about non important things like their playlists or their favorite food but non the less they are extremely loyal people so don’t hurt them or you will never get back in.

Sagittarius moons: they have so much energy and knowledge they are little adventurers they always have some funny story to pull out of nowhere you know when a Sagittarius moon loves you is when they take you on their little trips even to the gas station haha they love to express themselves through their style and they are so accepting. A lot of Sagittarius moons teach themselves about things they absorb information very quickly and could easily understand how things work

Capricorn moons: they are very hard working and prone to burn out very loyal they might have a tendency to be pessimistic and go through depressive episodes:( they all need hugs haha some of them might be a bit grouchy at times and get frustrated when there’s lack of effort from the people they love. They really like food that reminds them of home. The cap moons that I know are very good at saving their money. But when they are stressed they over spend. Kids also really like them for some reason haha same with cancer moons

Aquarius moons: these people aren’t afraid to be themselves they are they are very much you see is what you get type energy. they are logical and intelligent but they also are very goofy at times they might have a hard time making friends due to fear of letting people in but once they let you in they are amazing friends and people to be around. They also could have a hard time with being emotional around others can be stoic at times.

Pisces moons: they are so sweet and delusional haha pisces moons love romance and daydream a lot they also could have very vivid dreams. They are kind and caring and also have a savior complex like Virgo moons😭 a lot of Pisces moons I know have this ability to get people to open up to them they can be too trusting. Some of them might say white lies 😭😭 but at the end of the day they just want to be accepted the same way that they accept others

these are just my observations on the moon signs if they aren’t accurate to you then that’s okay🩷🩷 Thank you for reading 🩷🩷 if you would like a free natal chart reading just comment

[sk-lumen]

Pearls of wisdom from journaling & therapy

chasing people who ghost you, mistreat you, ignore you, is a trauma response. you're re-enacting a similar dynamic from your childhood in hopes that you can change the outcome and feel "fixed" or "worthy" of good treatment finally

you go for emotionally unavailable partners for one of 2 reasons: either your self esteem is too low and you think you don't deserve a healthy and reciprocal relationship; or you are protecting your heart by intentionally choosing someone you can't truly connect/resonate with, nor have to fully open up or get attached to

we are attracted to partners that in some way recreate the dynamic we had with our primary caregivers. ie. an emotionally unavailable parent can lead people to chase partners with avoidant attachment styles and/or emotionally unavailable

being obsessed or holding on to an ex, a situationship or unrequitted love of some kind is not always because you were "so in love with them". it's not about emotional attachment. it's about the mental attachment: to what they meant to you, how they made you feel, or a (often toxic) belief you associated with them, and by letting them go you feel you will lose some essential part of yourself (or self concept)

there is no wrong or right choice, it's about creating a foundation for yourself where you feel safe and strong enough to handle the consequences of either action. create a strong foundation within yourself, and you will achieve a newfound confidence and boldness in living the life you've always wanted, because you won't be afraid/anxious anymore of every little decision

[viscaartistsstuff]

Adam x reader (hazbin hotel)

How you two met

Headcanons:

¦ First part ¦

The time that you passed with Adam were now really less than the first times, he noticed that and tried to cheer you up in every way, but he had an big... BIG ego, so that means that in public mostly and in private he was more Attached to you, he made more maschilist jokes and at the same time gave you a lot of gifts, you were going crazy...

Even if you didn't noticed that but he was really afraid of you in every way, your beautiful hair and your beautiful eyes that always looked up at him when he get closer, your wings that twich every time that he put a hand on you or just innocently Pinch your cheek to annoyed you, all of that big carcather that he has to carry on is just because his in reality very selfconscious, he never had more than two Women, ève and lilith that left him for lucifer.. After that he just tried to became stronger even if he liked someone he couldn't just show it as a normal person do, unfortunately...

One day he wanted to finally ask you out for real this time, so he prepared with the help of Lute a love letter, "looks like a child made this sir" Lute said smirking a bit "OH FUCK YOU LUTE! Im trying here bitch!", a little plushie that looked... Like him because when he was at work he thought that you would be alone for long so with that you would feel... Always.. his presence.. And a ring... The best part... It was a bright one.. Brought for This occasion, he was really anxious...

He was all prepared and wanted then to find you and make you the biggest happy person alive, he wanted to love you every day and make you feel alive... But... You weren't always around... Or maybe you weren't around as you used to.

He noticed that you tried always to walk away If by pure chance he crosses paths with you changed your path, at first he thought it was a coincidence but as he went on he understood that you wanted to move away, why? Why you too? What had he done wrong?... He didn't know but after some time he finally found you and wanted to confront you and understand what was going on...

He found you in the library of the church where all of angels and part of Heaven go to study.

Your paranoia was getting bigger and bigger, "why me?"... "surely he'll just want to use me"... "he's not what you think, he doesn't really love you, he's Adam the first man on heart, every girl are on his knees for him he'd never choose someone like me"...

Adam Fly all the way here and decided to talk with you, obviusly with his style, he entered the library and took a look around, you were obviusly sitting in a table in the corner alone.

He stare at you for a moment and decided to make his entrance "hey bitch what's up with you? You know who i am? You can't just disappear like that", he talked a little too much loud even because someone turned around and stare at you two in a pissed way, you were in a public library After all.

You just stopped reading and were surprised by his presence, he was now towering you with a hand on the table and the other pointed at you, you shush him and You pull it to a more secluded place, "h-hey what the fuck!" you finally looked at him in the eyes and spoke and a trembling sigh came out of your mouth "listen Adam... First of all you can't enter a library like that, and second of all why are you here? Don't you have something better to do?" he looked at you confused and a grin appered on his lips "ohh~ your cunt is in a bad mood today? I can fix that you know Im famous for my to-" you didn't let him finish and started to feel tears coming from your eyes "ENOUGH!" he froze "why you keep doing this?? Why?" your face was turning red "doing what" he whispered a little taken back by your sudden reaction "you always try to flirt with me in some ways and then you treat me like Im just a piece of meat, why you always bother yourself with me uh? Why you can't just leave me, i know that you have millions of girls that maybe are better at that! But im not like one of them! And if you just wanted to be my friend just for that maybe... Im sorry but no... I dont want to continue like this.." a first tear came out.

He was shocked, what did he do wrong? Someone made you think like this? You liked someone else?, in his mind everything was running fast every possibility to understand your sudden reaction, he started to speak again "what.. What does that mean? I never did something like that!" he starting to raise his voice in irritation "i was always the one to make things for you! I always tried to make everything possible what the hell do you think bitch! Im fucking Adam! Im perfect! And you should just appreciate that i choose you!".

You couldn't believe it... He said that, he could have been with someone else if it was not for you... Now is clear... Tears were running down your red cheeks... "oh...so that's why..." you started to cry, he stare at you panicking, you couldn't read his face for the mask "Im just a second.... Or maybe a the last choice for you?"... Your face was now purple and your troath was burning, you could see only a blurry figure in front of you for how much tears were forming... "w-what n-" you didn't want to hear him and so you Fly away faster as you could, you just wanted to Return home and forget all of him...

He was paralyzed.. He didn't know what happened, He had come looking for you to take you out to eat and finally declare himself, and all after a flap of wings disappeared in a second... He was the wrong one? He was the one that made you soffer? How? What did he do wrong?

After that evening he went back home were Lute was waiting "sir how did it go?" he didn't respond and just went to bed, Lute remain a little by his attitude... "sir?" "Fuck off Lute!" she just followed him and sit down on the bed silent.

After a while he looked at her and in a angry and pissed way he storm out "what the hell did i say? Just go away bitch! Go away and leave me alone like the rest of the world!" the last part came out broken... Something broke inside of him... He didn't know what was happening but started to sob in his pillow... "DONT STARE AT ME BITCH! DON'T-.. DON'T LOOK AT ME" She was approaching to hug him, she didn't say anything, she knew that at any moment he would explode..

He was buffering in the pillow and suddenly felt warm, the arms of Lute were around him, he tried to pull away sobbing and pissed "DON'-DON'TOUCH ME... *sob* DON'T... don't..." he lets go and stays in the embrace, and he starts crying and venting about what happened

After he vent for like 2 Hours he stayed like that with tired eyes... "sir... You need to find her and tell her what you feel, but you have to put aside your ego" he just pull away and in a pissed way said "i dont have an ego! And i can't she don't want to see me again after what i did... What i did wrong?" he asked, "sir if i have to be sincere you are always a piece of shit, with every one, you want the attention but can't get Attached with someone because you are afraid you Will lose them.. It's not like this that life works, you need to stand up and finally accept what you are, you are not only Adam.. " he stare at her," yes i am only Adam, the fucking first man that give life to all of them why they can't accept it!", "sir... You are not only that, i observ when you talked with y/n how your face change and how nervous you become, how you want to surprise her with little hand gifts, but too afraid to recieve her compliments.... You are not only Adam.. You are a human sir...", he became flustered and embarassed by the exact description of himself "wherever bitch..." there was a moment of silence... "Lute...?" he whispered "do you think... That... Im in time to go and talk with her?".

Lute push him out of the window "FUCKING FLY FAST SIR" he then fuck her off but was excited scared and all type of emotions he can have and Fly to your house as fast as he can "please don't leave me y/n, please dont leave me y/n please dont leave me y/n".

He finally arrived... He was about to faint from how fast he went, while he was catching his breath he landed on your balcony, and knocked 5 Times, The fifth was a spasm of the lungs.

You were in your bedroom and started to take sleep when you heard 5 knocks on your window... You turn your head to see... "no.." Adam, you were a little susrpised but didn't want to open him, that would be rude so you stand up with a big groan and open slowly the window "what.." you asked in a cold tone.

This was all for the second part, i notice that you really liked the first so i thought that would be interesting put a little angst for this , if you want the third part let me know! Have a great day🫐

[cooki3face]

cookie face master list ♡

message: this is my official master list for my tarot readings and any of my other favorite post that I’ve made so far, I make a lot of posts that aren’t titled or formatted in any way so this a good tool to use to be able to find any of my posts that are important to find that have any important information or did really well. Thank you to the user who recommended I create one of these, I had started making one some time ago but I ended up giving up because I was intimidated by how many post I had and how I would format this master list. ❤️

public psa & content breakdown (PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU INTERACT!!!)

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ tarot readings:

cookie face tarot info: (please read!!) (personal tarot readings open!!)

Cookie face tarot readings ♡ | book

entertainment:

your first time alone with your spouse 🖤

their last dream of you ☁️🔒

how people see you ⭐️

what will your marriage be like 💍

what would your divine masculine be like as a father

their favorite things about you 💐

how does your person view intimacy with you (18+)

what kind of seducer are you (18+)

what will you be like as a mother

what permanent union w/ your divine feminine would be like: divine masculine reading

why are they silent?

what lessons are you learning in love right now?

Messages from spirit on conflict between Israel and Palestine 🇵🇸❤️

your next quantum leap

what your in laws would think of you (and their child)

messages for singles from your divine counterpart

messages from someone who let go of you

what you need to hear right now: channeled from spirit

what’s going on in your friendships

Your present reality vs far future

***

energy check-in:

~ Energy check in w/ advice : July 2, 2023 ~

~ Energy check in w/ advice : June 27, 2023 ~

energy update 🧿: 8/18/23

six card pull: energy update ♡

***

divine feminine/divine masculine:

what’s going on within the divine masculine collective | divine masculine update | June 30, 2023

what would your divine masculine be like as a father

divine feminine/divine masculine update & twin flame update : 8-23-23

Divine masculine & Divine feminine update / twin flame update 🖤 : 8/30/23

what permanent union w/ your divine feminine would be like: divine masculine reading

***

spirit baby readings:

spirit baby reading 🧸

spirit baby reading🍼

***

disclaimer: any readings that I do can be switched around to resonate with any sex/gender. I’m just a woman and most of the imagery I’m attracted to is feminine in nature and I have a large feminine following and community so often times I feel their energy strongest when I’m channeling for the collective but if you’re a masculine energy that doesn’t mean there isn’t a message for you in a reading of mine!

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ spirituality/self-care/healing:

"Physical Pain In The Body And Their Spiritual Meanings"

“Differentiating between steady boundaries and self -sabotaging as a trauma response: how to identify & what to do”

“Understanding the difference between “niceness” & kindness”

My opinion on organized religion

"Manifesting with conviction & intention: What is it and how to do it"

"How to fix a broken sleep schedule: relaxation tips & creating an ideal bed routine"

“Your anger is the part of you that knows your mistreatment."

people pleasers

"men who refuse to grow up will find women who suit their lifestyles"

"Normal people have trauma"

"Nobody is responsible for your triggers and you aren’t responsible for any of anyone else’s"

"Grew up hearing that I was way too picky or that I wasn’t going to get everything that I wanted"

"my anxious attatchment style & mother wound"

"manifestation & energetic frequencies: what people want most in life"

"The dark night of the soul"

“How to navigate the dark night of the soul”

"A fear of being seen"

“wounded feminine energy vs wounded masculine energy”

“healing attachment styles”

advice for growing teenagers and young adults

***

parenting:

"you don't teach your children not to hit people by hitting them"

"gen z not taking sh*t from anybody"

gen x and millennial parents need to get help

***

affirmations:

Self assurance and inner alignment affirmations

Self love & self worth affirmations

divine feminine & divine masculine affirmations: Aug 21, 2023

***

dating/relationships:

"Marriage doesn’t just have to do with love/Women get nothing for marrying for free" : hypergamy

"Loving someone how they want to be loved vs. Loving them the way you want to love them"

“Differentiating between steady boundaries and self -sabotaging as a trauma response: how to identify & what to do”

“Your anger is the part of you that knows your mistreatment."

people pleasers

"love isn’t enough to make a relationship work"

"Rules for Navigating Men That Aren’t The One" (this is a really old post,but it falls under the category)

“What it means to love unconditionally & accept people for who they are”

“Healing attachment styles”

“When people say “please stop saying choose better or stop telling us to choose better because you know men pretend to be someone completely different in the beginning and then change.””

***

divine feminine/divine masculine:

"Broken femininity is generational trauma"

"cancer moon placements & the mother"

"Marriage doesn’t just have to do with love/Women get nothing for marrying for free" : hypergamy

 "divine feminine in a twin flame connection: the best thing you can do for your divine masculine is keep loving yourself more"

divine feminine & divine masculine affirmations: Aug 21, 2023

“divine feminine & learning to transmute energy: introduction”

“Whatever you give a woman she will multiply it & give it back”

wounded feminine energy vs wounded masculine energy

““A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek him just find her."”

twin flames, soul mates, & karmics:

"divine feminine in a twin flame connection: the best thing you can do for your divine masculine is keep loving yourself more"

"separation & no contact in high level soul connections"

"is it possible to have increase of sexual energy before meeting your twin flame?"

"some twin flame connections could be toxic and can be hard to deal with, is this true?"

***

I believe that’s it guys, well not all of it ofc there are post I left out that were just little thoughts and think pieces I had that weren’t really all that relevant but most of anything important or sought after is right here. I’d like to say, that some of posts are really old and my format and theme was completely different so when and if you click on them and they look extremely foreign or aren’t well executed that’s why, I’ve been running this blog since 2020/2021, thank you. 💋

***

My social media platforms:

Instagram:

Main: @cooki3face_

tarot acc: @cookiefacetarot

Tiktok:

@cooki3face

***

about me post ❤️

Last updated: Saturday, august 3, 2024 @ 8:17 am

[moondust-writes]

͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ [dating headcanons] ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌ .ೃ࿐ shadow the hedgehog ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･safe for work; romantic

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ one thing that should be clear is that this hedgehog is traumatized - i mean, someone he was close to died, and then he almost died at the end of Sonic Adventures 2 (did die, even, until the fandom decided they wanted Shadow to be a returning character). a relationship isn't going to be easy

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the first hurdle, would be befriending him. unlike others (i.e. team sonic), he would keep anyone at an arms length, try to avoid becoming attached - and immediately pulling away as soon as he notices any attachment ╰┈➤ this is how he is with everyone; he used to be open and less guarded with others, like Rouge and Omega, though his anxious attachment style later caused him to pull back - this is unavoidable, and questioning him about it will only cause it to worsen for a week or so

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ you'd have to be the one to take the first step when it comes to starting a friendship, be it as small as just sitting in the same area doing your own thing, or even initiating a conversation despite the 'dont talk to me' energy he often radiates - it'd be like talking to a wall, so hopefully you can keep up a one sided conversation

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ you'll know that he'll start to consider you to at least be an acquaintance when he starts to allow himself to be in your presence longer than usual, and even give brief responses to whatever it is you had been talking about. even if it is just as small as a hum of acknowledgement; when he considers you to be a friend? he'll start to seek you out every now and again when he has the free time to do so, and even engage in a proper conversation ╰┈➤ it is during the friendship that he begins to catch feelings; there will be moments of vulnerability, of openness. only when he realizes he doesn't mind it when you hug him or hold his hand to drag him somewhere that he will realize he is becoming attached and pull away

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the confession is far from planned - more so accidental. but either way, he is the first to confess. it wasn't one of his smoothest moments, 'embarrassing,' more like it; but it was sweet, endearing ╰┈➤ you or his friends would have confronted him about the sudden distance, and while he'd try to avoid it, the pain from the single question of 'did i do something wrong?' would hurt too much; he had to let you know it wasn't you! even if it would damage his pride to admit that he, the ultimate lifeform, was scared and didn't know what these feelings meant(it was adorable, to see him flushed red as he put his feelings into words, the shade darkening as you explained that what he described was love - and that it was okay to be scared)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the start of the relationship was, well, rough. but! shadow is determined to show that he is serious about you! due to what happened to maria, he will be protective - even if you can fend for yourself. some firm boundaries and reassurance can fix this; he'll get better over time

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ pet names aren't something shadow deems to be necessary, so he'll typically just use your name or some nickname derived from it. if you express your love for them, though, he may just use 'honeydew' or 'darling' ╰┈➤ pet names won't be used in public on his end though, he views them as intimate things for only you to hear him call you - they're just for you and only you

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ personally, i think he's more shy when it comes to PDA, but all for it! you just won't often catch him being the one to initiate it unless he sees someone eyeing you or something is going on nearby. his default is holding your hand, but if he is a little bit more bold, he may just wrap his arm around your shoulder

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ not much of a cuddlebug, but he adores giving fleeting touches behind closed doors or when there is a moment alone with you. typically its a short peck on the lips, or a simple hug. at night, though, he will gladly cuddle, typically being the big spoon

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ shadow can have nightmares, though it isn't often that it occurs. on these nights, please let him bury his face in your chest while you groom his quills. it helps so much, and the purrs you get in return are absolutely precious

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ all in all, he would do anything for you and be vulnerable just for you; with help, he might even just be able to let himself joke around and have fun with his friends like he used to <3

[raisedbythetv89]

To me, I don’t think Buffy or the audience can ever truly know if she’s in love with angel or just in attachment with him. I believe she is just in attachment and especially before innocence and after his encounter with the first, just full on enmeshment with him. No boundaries whatsoever, his pain is her pain (which is extremely common in parentified children who feel they have to protect their parents from their pain like what buffy does with joyce), just like how she describes her feelings towards riley later which is NOT a good thing, empathy is good, taking on others pain as if it’s your own is extremely unhealthy. (Yes I’m pulling on my psych degree for a tumblr post, human behavior and buffy are two of my special interests)

What I mean by “in attachment” is that she has all of the same anxieties and insecurities about angel that she does with her father. Angel’s erratic and unpredictable behavior plays on her anxious avoidant attachment style SO AGGRESSIVELY. He keeps showing up, giving her little information at all and even less about himself and then vanishing leaving her hanging, and anxiously wondering about him which can mimic thinking you’re romantically interested when really it’s just an unresolved problem you desperately want to solve. She has a lot of valid criticisms about him before they’re officially together about his inconsistencies, him treating her like a child, him being too old for her and then all of a sudden she’s saying she wants to die when they kiss and that she loves him (after he forces her to say she loves him before he’ll tell the truth about drusilla). That is exactly how falling into attachment goes. Once you’re hooked all your feelings that are caused by a bad relationship with a parent are projected onto the partner who you are unknowingly recreating that dynamic with which is why such intense and strong feelings can happen so quickly and suddenly you’re ignoring all concerns you had before forming this attachment with someone.

He’s not her soulmate, he’s just the first guy to treat her like her father did and if you don’t address that cycle the relationship is recreating it can be impossible to move on because they will ALWAYS feel like something is unresolved and if you don’t know why you feel that way you can misinterpret it as true love or destiny because why all would you suffer so much and still love them if it wasn’t? It’s a mistake SO MANY of us make in our romantic relationships and these portrayals of unhealthy attachments being sold to us a soul mates doesn’t help us at all.

She does it with Riley also but she walls herself off so she doesn’t get AS attached to him as she did angel but their relationship is still her trying to fix the relationship with her father by changing herself so maybe this time he’ll stay. It’s why his opinion still matters so much to her when he comes back in season 6 despite him being a truly awful person to her who has done nothing but make mistakes and whose opinion should not matter to her at all after everything he put her through. He is another pseudo father figure she craves approval from.

It’s why I love her relationship with Spike so much despite all the bad they go through before season 7. We know her feelings are real because Spike doesn’t play on her anxious-avoidant attachment at all because he is ALWAYS there even when she’s mean and claims she doesn’t want him there. And to me everything they do to each other makes perfect sense, their relationship is exactly what two people with severe trauma and one with anxious-avoidant and one with just anxious-attachment going into a relationship together looks like. You hurt each other A LOT because you’re working out all your issues with each other and they don’t have ANY help from a therapist or someone who can help minimize the hurt so they both just use their worst coping mechanisms and the fact that they go through all that and still get to be together and happy and healthy on the other side is just everything to me because that so rarely happens in the real world, where you get to be with the person who was also a catalyst for healing and having to go through all that suffering together only to have to start over -hopefully from a much better place - but still with someone else BLOWS. So Spike and Buffy to me are about hope and healing (including the unpleasant and very ugly, dark parts of healing people rarely talk about) and getting to do each phase of that with someone AND enjoy being happy and whole together is just UGHHHH I love it so much.

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’m feeling silly rn so can I pretty please get some Digital circus x reader headcanons with a reader that’s like a creepy clown doll that’s really anxious? (I’m in my creepy doll era🥺❗️❗️)

Various TADC characters x creepy clown doll!reader w/ anxiety

i kinda really want to bake something but i dont know what hmmm.... characters: ragatha, kinger, pomni, gangle notes: reader is gn, mostly platonic leaning for these CWs: none

RAGATHA

she offers to fix any of the tears you may have in your clothing, though shes a little confused that you want to keep them... you insist that they make you creepier, or at least as creepy as you can look in the digital circus

shes not all that put off by your appearance like some of the others, at least not for long- she manages to get over it fairly quickly in order to make you feel welcome

if you dont want to be perceived as creepy, though, shes more than willing to try to help where she can to make you look more approachable

but if you want to look creepy, or even look creepier... shes a little lost, but shes willing to give you a hand

she does her best to try to work with you through your anxiety, she tries to give you little pep talks and reassurances where she can

always lingering around to make sure you dont need anything, although sometimes she feels she may be overbearing because of it

KINGER

probably the most put off by your appearance, he needs the most time to get over it- hes noticeably a little more on edge around you too, but its not that he doesnt... like you...

your vibe just puts him on edge when hes not fully himself or there in the moment, time and being open is going to be your friend here

more inclined to approach you if you have bugs crawling around on you, its a good conversation opener! he can take them off your hands if you dont want spiders crawling all over you

it kind of turns into a little activity between the two of you, he picks through you and over time you guys get more and more comfortable around one another

i can see him being a little oblivious to some of your clown antics that border on the creepy side, sneaking around and causing mischief, a lot of it goes right over his head and he goes on with applauding you

he just wants to be supportive!

as you both get to know one another he learns of your struggles and you both kind of bond over that- if hes in a clearer head space he does his best to reassure you of anything thats been eating you up

he gets really good at picking up on how youre feeling, sometimes he notices before you realize you're starting to feel... not very well...

POMNI

also pretty put off by your appearance and general demeanor, probably just a little less on edge than kinger.. headcanon that pomni isnt all that into horror and this pops up with you

tries her best to act normal around you like she isnt a little put off

when she finds out youre not as bad as you look she feels bad, even worse when she realizes some of the distance and aloofness comes from your anxiety, she does her best to approach you and close the gap between the two of you

awkward at first... very awkward... but shes trying her best to make you feel welcome around her!

small talk that slowly spirals into longer conversations where you two are just bouncing off of each other, it doesnt feel all that forced anymore and you two like each others company

GANGLE

she can relate to your anxiety, sometimes the two of you hide away from everyone else and just... exist together, where its less overwhelming

gangle doesnt talk much about her problems much but that doesnt mean youre not allowed to, shes a good listener

shes an artist so obligatory she likes your theming and finds herself drawing stuff for you based off your style

tends to any ribbons you have in your clothing or on your body so they can.. not get undone..

you both are attached to the hip for the most part, one is hardly ever seen without the other

[soshadysoquiet]

If I could re-write TUA s3 - Allison Edition

Key Allison S1 traits:

Default Rumours - her default from childhood to 1-2 years ago (max as far as I can tell) is to rumour people to get what she wants / needs. She even returns to using them when faced with the threat of Viktor despite their recent conversation

Wants to Connect - Allison wants a connection to her family, especially Viktor, but also takes the time to interact with most of the others.

Lashes out when angry - comments by Viktor

Quiet when disappointed / hurt - comments by Luther and Diego esp.

Is not trusted / respected by those closest to her over big matters: Namely Viktor and how to handle The White Violin-ness / basement - would be interested to see why people think this is, lots of possibilities...

Allison covers up things she's ashamed of / guilty of until called out - Claire's custody, her childhood rumour etc.

Allison smokes occasionally and drinks at least socially.

Key Allison S2 traits:

Again off rumours, but defaults when threatened / others are.

Has found / is still trying to connect to people - although here the show starts doing its characters massive discredit in my opinion; swapping to them bonding almost purely through experience and humour rather than words and affirmations - her scene with Luther at the BBQ is one of the few of these, but her and memory -returned Viktor defo deserved an on screen convo about this, hell they all did.

Lashes out when angry - physically now vs verbally and to the point of cruelty, such as with racist biggots (so no judgement there just observation). - Is this an upspike due to stress, or a return to form? We don't know enough about how Allison used rumours as a child to be sure.

Quiet when hurt / disappointed - with Ray following rumour convos esp.

Still not trusted / respected: How best to stop Viktor (again), Ray and her never having a reaffirming convo following their last rumour question - no shade on Ray, but is sad to see that she's still not trusted unconditionally by someone. (especially when we're later meant to believe, or, worse, Allison believes Ray was perfect. Seriously these kids are all so traumatised they need so many hugs.

Still hiding guilt / shame - her powers now mainly and past. Don't think Ray even knows she had a daughter before.

Allison now drinks when very stressed, does not smoke any more - odd choice to change this without explanation (they have an obvious get-out with her throat but, still) or is it to indicate she hasn't needed to do this with Ray in her life?

Which, sigh, leads us onto S3:

Key Allison S3 traits and where they are / aren't consistent:

Use of rumours: Oddly mixed, using them at odd times and only really severely - now I know part of this is for plot progression but Ive written my proposals below so just to bear in mind. Is now occasionally so desperate to fix things with rumours that they go into really bad territory or she's rumouring herself.

Desperate for connection - sadly now because of her trauma at this point, her attachment style becomes very anxious (with Viktor, Luther) aggressive in convo-style or deeds (with Luther, Diego, Lila) or completely despondent (with everyone else between her and Viktor in ep 2 and when she and Sloane share a moment after Luther's dad-demise.)

Lashes out when angry, ahem, yeah. Following her finding out about Claire this skyrockets. I'd say this reaction is actually pretty on-brand for her character, but I think (will go into below) that the show could have handled her having this reaction whilst doing it in a different fashion. To a point they're picking elements from the comic - where Allison does indeed rumour Luther to kiss her, but this show also isn't word for word from the comics, so I think we can alter things...

Quiet when hurt / disappointed - she frequently takes herself away to drink more / after a scathing comment / shuts herself away in room or try to rumour herself to be happy.

Still not trusted / respected by those closest to her: Viktor especially has a part to play in this this season, who just doesn't trust her with information. The rest generally brush her aside, even the Sparrows are dismissive of her. It's a lot. I know none of them listen to each other, which by this point is canonically insane (Allison's track record for good gut feelings should be more well recognised by the sibs just as much as Five's apocalypse sense always being dead right.)

Covers up her guilt / shame still - such as the Luther Business

Allison now drinks frequently from the stress and smokes again.

So, here's my reviewed S3 with the above in mind:

Stronger gut feeling that something is wrong following Sparrows in the Umbrella Academy

Less jokes, more genuine worry when they're all injured after - though increasingly distracted by need to hunt for Claire.

Claire business and Viktor's transition goes the same - though maybe she could ask one of the fam to come with her? Luther pos? Just as a thought.

The fam have the same initial non-reaction that Viktor berates them for - I'm not sure if they actually know or not / how much they know

Cafe scene can go the same way OR Allison starts quietly but then shouts 'heard a rumour you all Shut Up'/etc to stop the cacophony of noise - maybe then bolts, Harlan gets spotted etc. This begins the slippery slope of regressing back to the mean of her rumour use.

I think it's then 1st Kugalblitz meeting? Honestly when Diego is complaining about Stan initially Allison's reaction could become more 'I heard a rumour you stopped complaining about having a child'/etc [- which could then lead to an interesting Diego arc. I find it interesting that Allison doesn't interact with Stan once, in fact other than Diego and Klaus, I don't think anyone else even talks to him. Which is pretty awful when you think about it - I would like to see Allison then leave, try and bond with Stan but she just can't feel it / it's too much and she retreats again] - could then start trying to pep talk herself out of using rumours / rumour herself in the mirror.

Kugalblitz conversation - at this point Allison might be threatening rumours just to give herself that pause before a freefall 'If you don't get to the point you're getting rumoured' the fam starts to notice this change in her and are leery of it - I'd love to then see some snippets from their childhood but alas, a gal can but dream

As the season progresses, Allison's rumours become more desperate and connection-coded (rather than non-con coded, thanks for that TUA) so when they have Briefcase chat at sparrows, she rumours them to give her the briefcase (they are compelled to go with her to where it was / is - the hotel.) Viktor and her can bluster about the rumours on the way back vs following the plan 'it's not like anyone ever follows MY plans or we might not be here in the first place' could be a good take for Allison. On the way to the hotel does she try and rumour Ben into being more like their Ben / remembering?

Back at the hotel we can then have Sparrows Vs Brellies + Harlan - Fei sent some birds secretly to alert the others IDK

Then we have Sloane Vs Allison - the Interrogation grunge match. At this point Allison is done, so she just tries all kinds of rumours and Diego is a bit more cautious - gives a 'hey maybe calm it down' as he got rumoured earlier so 'I heard a rumour you backed me up for once' and he he's just saying 'I am!' Allison doesn't really notice that the rumour doesn't have much effect, for Luther's interruption he gets 'I heard a rumour you listened to me for once' and he does, and he's angry - but after it's worn off he thinks back about when he hasn't listened in the past. *This replaces her Other Luther rumour for me because I don't need to see that - I'm still half convinced it also serves a dual purpose as just a way to also show a woman getting sexually overpowered even though she'd 'asked for it' so it's completely bleh bleh bleh no either way for me and we don't need it*

Her and Diego have a convo - you know you didn't need to rumour me back there, I already have your back - Allison going into how it's felt like no one's had her back for the last year, going into the constant stress of living in Dallas, could mention 'apart from Ray, and now I've lost him too' [I'm curious here of what is more therapeutic - the racist-people-beat up at the bar or Allison actually getting a meaningful connection and sharing some of that emotion, I'd like the second to come into play to start giving her some emotional room here, but don't want to deny her and Diego some pay back, food for thought]

Five and Lila come back, Allison sees he had the brief case, possibly 'you had this the whole time?' 'did have' Allison lashes out - some cutting remark I can't think of, but leading to basically 'I heard a rumour that you actually cared!'/etc (about us / my daughter) Five just replies with 'I do' and he's pissed but as with Diego it's no different than how he was anyway

Viktor and giving up Harlan moment - Can't remember if Allison was there for that or having a moment to gather herself???

Five maybe gives her the time for one of his Awkward Gramps Bonding convos about how he does care, Allison vents a bit, he says he's trying to fix it, Allison can say she's not sure that's enough and maybe Five says 'I've wondered that all my life' or something equally sad and the two of them and Klaus share a drink and look at his peeled skin, lovely bonding. Allison there to hear that Klaus kinda died- maybe asks him to clarify, but how did you survive then? The three of them ponder, Allison reflects she has more to lose still. They all go off to the biker gang with Five bc why not. [in the bar there there's a fight and Klaus dies but comes back - Allison can try to rumour him back to live bc I love stories where she does that, Five can actually have A Reaction to a sibling dying / go on a little psycho murder spree that Pogo sees and is like oh shit they are more Reggie Kids. Allison helps rumour Five to calm down (they could have one of their comic-canon chats about his urge to kill Vs not wanting to) Klaus re-alives himself and they find out well shit he's immortal. Pogo tells them about Reggie's madness. Klaus is all - huh maybe I shouldn't have taken him off the pills then, oh well.

Back at the hotel, Viktor has snuck Harlan out to do Special Training (I've probs got the timeline a bit wrong but eh) Lets make this better by if we real need Harlan to die he can die via giving his powers back with just enough life for a Meaningful Death Convo with Viktor as he goes but Viktor still feels guilty.

Maybe the K5A tag team turn up in time for this and Klaus keeps trying to get in to stop the storm-swirl of powers (the three of them all try, trying to 'save' viktor - Allison can gain her power upgrade this way, Klaus can have a 'funny death montage' as the team realise he's the only one who can get through - this also powers Klaus up enough to banish ghosts - maybe there's a lot around Harlan from the accidents he's had. Five can, like, have a breakdown seeing Klaus re-die over and over again it finally breaks him and Allison does what she can to help.

They all go back, Five making unceremonious use of Harlan's body to appease Sparrows and Allison and Viktor having a bit of a fight now because it came out about the mothers, Klaus also upset - went to talk to dad for nothing?? Allison (to just them? to hotel?) 'I just want you to Trust Me for one god damn day!' and rumours - a number of them, well shit, now she's actually responsible for that - apologises but no no, they trust her, it's fine - we can see the consequenses of her rumours in a dif way here. Allison ashamed and they all keep turning to her for her opinion for stopping the Kugal blitz etc - she's freaking out a bit and having to employ team work - doesn't want their trust if it's blind like this but also shows that she's able to connect to them all to get the best from them - what was the math whizzes' plan - will it work Five - well I trust you Allison - and I trust you, all of you, so will it work? - this way the fam also see the trust she's able to put in them

Kugal blitz of course blows, they go to the hotel at the end, Allison thinks she's lost her chance to see Claire. Reggie being there and weird and no one listening to him save Ben.

Allison gets to go to the bachelor party and karaoke with her idiot brothers god dammit - it's a 'lets make sure Allison knows we're here for her too' moment - awkward as it is, naturally

Reggie corners Allison still, she's lost and grieving her daughter still and has had A Lot the last while. He cuts her the deal and she goes to the others, when you said you trusted me - I'm asking you genuinely to now - they go fight the Kugal - takes some convincing, Five's done and broken from all the breakdowns over Klaus dying, Klaus is actually expressing his emotions with his siblings after being angry for being withheld info from and 'I told you so' Luther just wants to get married, Ben is being Ben and her and Viktor need to re-connect a bit more than the others whilst Diego is worried about Lila- So Reggie does in Luther, Klaus, they go to Oblivion and the rest is more or less as it was except it's less agro and more Teamwork Yay we love to see it.

When Allison presses the button, the others don't fight her on it - they trust her. She presses that button with a smile - end of S3!

If you've read this far, I hope you enjoyed my Ted Talk 😂

[fashionably-forgetful]

Can Anxious Ambivalent Attachment Style Create Codependency

Yes, there is a strong connection between anxious-ambivalent (also known as anxious-preoccupied) attachment style and codependency. Anxious attachment style and codependency share some common characteristics and tendencies that can lead to codependent relationships. Here’s how they are related: Need for External Validation: Anxious-ambivalent individuals often seek constant validation,…

[natasha-in-space]

I got a yoosung angst prompt cuz its fun to put the most sunshine guy through the worst traumas

How do you think his relationship will mc be post Bad Ending 3. Yeah its the ending where Unknown kidnaps and tortures him. Lets assume that he eventually got rescued and nearly died in the process (cuz Unknown badly hurt him in a fit of rage) but he survives....he lives

But whats gonna be after that how the whole ordeal is gonna affect his relationship with his S/O because it is going to be tough for both the parties. Ofc yoosung who was directly affected by the ordeal will need alot of therapy, and love and support. But it was quite tough for mc too.... if anything yoosung route does, it shows us the fact that losing a loved one is traumatic, nearly losing one too as well and MC also was traumatised and is guilt ridden (maybe i should have tried harder to stop him had i knew this would happen is a constant thought in her head) she also becomes somewhat protective of him because he has been through enough and deserves to get the best of the world.....but while mc is well intentioned in her actions....it somehow stings Yoosung, he is the one who should be protecting her, he should be the proactive one in the relationship....thats what he thinks. It makes him feel small....besides he can also see her running herself thin for him....and he just wants to not be a burden to her...

I rambled alot im sorry but i wanna see your take. As always i just wanna let you know I love your writing

Well, the unfortunate thing that I just can't help but bring up is that... Bad Ending 3 happens due to the player's (MC's) actions. That's not how it works in real life, of course, but with the structure of MM's storyline, that's how it plays out, and that's how it's meant to be interpreted by the player. In that ending, MC prioritizes themselves first, and encourages Yoosung self-sacrificial tendencies for their own benefit (or, well, safety, to be more exact). MC's actions are what led Yoosung to sacrifice himself in that ending in the first place. And that's also the reason behind his seeming resolve with what Unknown is putting him through in the aftermath.

'It's okay. I'm protecting them. They wanted me to keep them safe. So they wouldn't be scared. I need to stay strong for them. I'm doing this for them. Because I love them. Because I don't want to be in the dark and not do anything like it happened with Rika.'

So both sides of the argument are dealing with a messy tangle of emotions to deal with. And if you do want to imagine a better resolution to all of this, it'll probably involve a lot of conversations between the two.

Your dynamic between each other is unbalanced in that particular ending. And that's something that needs to be fixed. MC should take more care of Yoosung's well-being first before their own and believe in him, while Yoosung needs to work on his anxious attachment style.

It is difficult, though, because Yoosung's worst traits got the best of him as a direct result of MC's actions. The situation is pretty similar to those who want to imagine a better solution to Jumin's 2 Bad Ending. While it's possible, it needs to be acknowledged that MC is the one who needs to put most of the work in.

In my opinion, what would their relationship be like? Well, if we assume that MC does feel guilty for everything that happened, that's a lot of emotional baggage to deal with. Yoosung got hurt. Bad. Both physically and mentally. And he'll probably dismiss it too. It's important to remember that in this particular ending, he's devoted to you to an unhealthy extent. Not the same as in his 1 Bad Ending, but in a very self-sacrificial way. He'll probably just smile at you and say that he's happy you're safe. That that was the only thing he ever wanted. And that he held out for so long because he remembered what you told him, and how scared you were.

So... it's a pretty heavy situation for MC to be in. It's one thing to have your loved one disregard their well-being for you, but it's completely different when it's the direct consequence of your own actions.

Many apologies need to be made. Even if Yoosung doesn't understand why you're apologizing to him. Lots of talks to be had. And lots of very slow and steady progress to be made.

It's possible to come up with a better resolution to this mess. But it'll require a lot of work and patience from both MC and Yoosung. It does make a very interesting story to think about, though!

[torialefay]

*clears throat* I have a theory that Chris has an anxious attachment style, plus he left his friends and family in Australia and moved to what is effectively a foreign country at like 12 and spent his formative years in a high-stress environment and he himself has talked about his struggles during that time. Plus he debuted at like 19 or 20 and since then he's been living this lifestyle that is so far removed from a normal life that it wouldn't surprise me if he's never been in a relationship or even been intimate with anyone and aside from the skz members, it's probably hard to keep close friendships, especially with people outside that sort of lifestyle who might keep him grounded. He's always fostered this two-sided parasocial relationship with his fans bc 1. He seems like a very communicative person and an extrovert and 2. We (fans) are probably the closest to regular people he is surrounded by. I don't think he fully realised how far it would go, how much fame he would end up reaching and just how many people would eat up his every word, and how gullible an immature a lot of those people would be.

Part of it seems to be a joke to him and us older stays do realise it, but a lot of stays just don't (and tbf, some are older than me and still being very delulu). Not to mention the bigger picture, like the whole loneliness epidemic is very real and a lot of us millennials and gen z end up forming parasocial relationships with artists or influencers, and this includes the artists themselves who are feeling the same things we all are.

Now that he's older and skz have reached a level of fame he potentially never even thought possible, he's beginning to realise that he might have created an environment where fans take things too far and he's trying to set boundaries while also not alienating his fans, particularly the ones who are "normal" about him and that's a tough line to walk. He always seems happy to talk to stays who just have normal conversations bc he probably does crave some connection to people outside the industry and he seems to genuinely like his fans, but he's also probably tired of people treating him like a therapist, trauma dumping, trying to get him to fix issues he just can't do anything about or full on hitting on him beyond a bit of silly flirting (which he also seems to enjoy).

With all that said, I do hope the new contract gives him and skz more breaks, more protection from stalking, more protection from creepy fan interactions and more freedom to set boundaries.

i don't want to speculate or necessarily diagnose people with anything, but i could definitely see chan having an anxious attachment style. which is really sad to think about. but it makes a lot of sense, and i completely agree with the things that you said. his formative years were in an environment where love came from you performing well or doing the things that were expected from you. there was no coddling (which i don't mean in a derogatory way) and no real expression of someone loving him regardless of if he did well or not. i don't know if he's ever experienced unconditional love, which makes my heart break for him.

i hope he can get to the point where he is healing from that and i really hope that the members show him unconditional love to try and heal his lil heart 😭 maybe this is the start of it? idk i guess time will tell. he's a grown ass man, but still wanna make sure he's doing okay :(

[hazbinficsandstuff-eyeshadow]

I feel like attachment style theory is misunderstood or I'm misunderstanding it

It's not really

Anxious: I want to be around my SO

Secure: I want to be around my partner, in moderation

Avoidant:I don't want to be around my SO

But more

Anxious: they seem like they might be mad at me, or they are mad at me, I need to be super around them now, and I need to talk about it and get it resolved now, I don't want them to be mad at me, fix it now l, not later, *gives super deoe apology for someone small*

Secure: idk, healthy middle

Avoidant: ...they're mad at me?, nit gonna be around for that, wait it out, hopefully they'll forget about it and I won't ever bring it up again in case they forgot.

I'm not actually sure if this is true, so someone either confirm or deny my understanding of attachment theory or tell me how I'm kinda right

[secretlythepits]

Love in Action, Love in the Stars

I’ve vacillated on how I feel about the idea of love languages. When I first heard about it, I was gobsmacked. Amazing! That was years before I even met my husband, when I was utterly single.

At one point in my marriage, when I was a bit frustrated, I remembered and tried to work with it. I told my husband about it, but he didn’t really take it in or care much. Still, I observed him and saw him give me Acts of Service. I mirrored him because I saw that’s what he liked. Mostly, whenever I wanted to bring us closer, I’d bring him beverages as a quick way to connect: Ice water when he was outside, a beer or coffee if he was watching tv. It sounds funny, but we’ve always been good at responding to each other’s small gestures. If one of us takes a step closer, the other does the same.

But he wouldn’t/ couldn’t speak to me in my love languages: Affection and Words of Affirmation. I continued to speak his language and mine to him, but he only replied in his. After a time, I started feeling resentful. I saw the feminist problem with love languages: that women are the ones who primarily read about and apply this idea, while men just keep doing what they always did. Did love languages con me into doing all the work in the relationship and trick me into giving him a free pass?

I stopped my Acts of Service campaign and he didn’t notice or make more of an effort, but things got less pleasant between us. I started speaking more frankly and harshly about my needs not being met. I learned about attachment styles and guess who is anxious and guess who is avoidant? There was a stale mate in the air as we needed to change but I was no longer willing to do my part without getting what I wanted in return.

And then I rekindled my long lost love of astrology. I went deeper than ever before, getting into planets and houses and transits. My husband is a Capricorn. My dear friend, who is both a kindergarten teacher and an astrologist, observed that my husband shows his love and devotion through action. That’s being a Capricorn, the cardinal earth sign. It is who he is and who he has always been and if I looked at just his actions, I would see a pattern of consistent effort demonstrating how much he loves me.

I am a Scorpio, the deepest water sign. In fact, I am a fixed water sign, so I’ll always want to stay in the deep waters of emotions. Words and feelings are ocean in which I exist.

For some reason astrology resonates more profoundly with me than love languages and attachment styles. All three thought methods explained our differences, but astrology taught me not to try to change it. Astrology invites me to just accept it. We are who we are and rather than trying to change each other, bridge a gap, or heal deep trauma wounds. I can just observe, accept, and appreciate our differences.

Right now, our house is project central. My husband is hiring people right and left and wielding chainsaws and screwdrivers to put our house in tip-top shape. He is taking care of our future needs as best he can, while he still has strength. It is love in action. It’s also the fear he can’t find words for. It’s also my practical earth sign being who he has always been and will always be: someone who takes care of business.

And when I bring him a glass of water, when I handle the serious talks with the kids, I am being who I am: the water sign who has the language and insight to flow into the gaps of silence and complete the understanding.

It feels so good to settle

into the stars.

[romaine2424]

Daily Blog June 27, 2023

Arg! I'd hoped to spend sometime planting the pretty flowers I bought yesterday but to my dismay I discovered an invasive weed was mixed in with my Shasta Daisies, which are just about to bloom. The kind of weed that attaches to your clothes and skin. Gloves came out and two hours later, I made a huge dent. Flowers tomorrow.

I had mentioned there were would be additional categories I'd throw into the mix and today I have one I've been anxious to get to. I'm going to call it Magical Elves. They are the people who help make fandom run. I mentioned @phoenixacid in an earlier post, who has been hosting @hd-fan-fair for ten years. This category will cover folks like her and that do even more...yes, even more...

What I'm reading:

On the Discord Drarry Fans Writers and Artists there is a channel for recs. I stole this one from there but then discovered I'd already read it. However, it was long enough ago that I don't remember all of the details. I think I read it when it first came out and before I hopped back into fandom in spring of 2021. The Ordeal of Being Known (146k) by @lou-isfake. I'm only on chapter 3 right now but I just love this Draco and his Oscar the Grouch house-slippers and his house-elf Timsy. The writing is so fresh and clever, I find myself smiling most of the time. Here's the summary, which I think gives you a flavor of the writing style I'm talking about:

When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there's unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It's obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco's never been able to back down from a challenge... especially from Potter. Features fuzzy cartoon slippers, devious house elves, 90s music, and lots—LOTS—of memories. Ron is annoyingly hot, Hermione sees right through you, Harry is a powerful idiot, and Draco is a reclusive masochist that would buy an entire city if it would make a kid happy. (And Pansy is "5'2, I wanna dance with you, and I'm sophisticated fun.")

Go read The Ordeal of Being Known on AO3.

Hit the Keep Reading!!!!!

Magical Elves:

The first person I want to highlight in this category is actually someone I've met in person at HP Cons and we've stayed in touch over the years in real life. *hugs darlin* You've probably seen @sassy-cissa's name as an author or maybe an email asking you about a fic for a fest but I'm betting most of you have no idea how much she's done for fandom for more than a decade and half, especially for Drarry fandom.

Let me list the ways in how awesome she is:

Current modding responsibilities:

25 Days of Draco and Harry (started in 2009) What 2009 ? Oh my! And do you know she reads each and every story posted for the fest and comments, too! HD Mpreg Fest – (started in 2011 – I've been modding since 2018) HD Fan Fair/Career Fair – co-modding since 2019)

Previous modding responsibilities:

Co-mod for H/D Erised from 2014 to 2018 Moderated the H/D Prophet from about 2016 to 2021

See that last one H/D Prophet. Take a look at the link just for a moment. Every Drarry WIP that was updated that week was listed, fests' status, drabble prompts, etc...Every single week. The prophet soon closed down after a few more months due to lack of participation (fandom had moved away from LJ).

Communities owned and/or Maintain:

On LJ: Slythindor100 and HarryDraco Mpreg On Tumblr: H/D Mpreg and Slythindor100

In addition, why yes there is more, Sassy writes, too, and beautifully! Sassy-Cissa (on AO3). Over 109 stories, mostly Drarry, some Hermione/Severus and a few Harry/Ginny...but as she put it....(but they usually end up divorced or Ginny dies). *snicker*

And she's on FanLore! And she also betas for some of the best.

So I know this is long but I just want folks to be aware of those working in the background, making our experience here in fandom enjoyable and filled with lovely content. They truly are magical elves. Sassy doesn't post much on Tumblr or on Discord but she does pop-in now and then. Next time you see her name, you'll now know who she is.

Tumblr Tidbit:

Did you know that you can edit the text below the Keep Reading line on your post and it will make the changes to all reblogs of your post. Edit above and sorry the reblogs will show the original. This comes in handy if you're making a Masterlist of works or something else that has lots of links or needs to be updated frequently.

Happy Tuesday and Sorry this was so late. My ancient computer decided to crash multiple times. Rom