#but it needs to be acknowledged that it IS a bad ending

[bitchy-craft]

PICK A CARD: What you need to work on (it can hurt a little)

Hello and welcome to this new reading! I will tell you what you need to work on. I hope you all enjoy it!

Masterpost > Paid Readings > Patreon Masterlist

The extended version of this reading can be found on my patreon, the link of which is here

                     pick a card

Pile 1:

You need to find balance in your emotions, you need to know and figure out what is good for you, and what you want. And the moment you do know, make sure you do it, even if it hurts, even if you are scared of the outcome. You need to get a hold of your true wishes, your true beliefs and thoughts, and take the control you wish to have. Leave those insecurities, and those fears behind, get through them, and think about your true wish, even if it hurts.

It’s hard to look back at what you’ve been through, the happy moments, the sad and conflicting moments. It’s hard to realise that these good things must come to an end, and hurt is okay to have, you are allowed to feel and acknowledge that hurt, you need to accept it be able to work on it and grow through it.

Extended reading

Pile 2:

Be happy with the little things. You can’t be happy with little progress, because the greater goal hasn’t been accomplished. I wouldn’t be surprised if you sometimes have progress but it still makes you frustrated because it wasn’t the full thing that you wished for.

Learn to realise that little progress can and must be celebrated too, you’re allowed to be proud of yourself for the little things, even if you get disappointed by it. You need to learn to leave those disappointed thoughts behind, accept them and move on. You can be happy and relieved while being disappointed that you didn’t fully succeed. But those little things, those little things are worth celebrating, they can help you gain more confidence and believe as long as you let them, they can make you stronger.

Extended reading

Pile 3:

Don’t just sit around and do nothing while waiting for the luck of the draw. If you want to accomplish something, then go do it. The universe won’t bend for you, you must bend the universe yourself. Don’t think your success will come from nowhere, don’t think the journey to this success will be easy without any obstacles. Every journey has obstacles, and every journey has moments where you want to quit and not continue.

If you want something, go do it. Just because something small happened that you didn’t want to happen, which made you disappointed, it doesn’t mean you should give up. Do not give up and believe the whole universe is against you. Of course, not a single journey is the same, but that doesn’t mean your journey should come easy to you, nor does it mean it should come hard to you. Every journey also teaches you something, and maybe for you, this journey wants to teach you that you must work hard and continue even though certain moments suck.

Extended reading

Pile 4:

You are not better than anyone else, so please stop trying to act like you are. Even if you are not aware of the fact that you act like that, you do. Please watch your words because a lot of things happening around you are just a roll of the dice. If something good happens you’re lucky, and if something bad happens it was just something that would happen one way or another.

Being confident in your knowledge is good, but don’t make yourself believe you know so much, because you don’t. Don’t put your insecurities so far away that your way of coping becomes a burden for others. You can be insecure yet have knowledge, you don’t need to be over-confident with it. And even if you are not confident, don’t try to mask it off. You need to learn how to balance these things. You do not know how much you don’t know, and as you grow older and experience more and more you will realise that you will never know a lot; because there is too much out there to know for your knowledge to be ever considered a lot.

Extended reading

Pile 5:

Go for it, don’t wait around and be scared, do it. It is good that you think about possible dangers and the wish to do it correctly, but over-thinking is also something that exists, and it’s not good. Don’t sit and imagine everything, being able to control everything, if you want it to happen you must do it. Get a grasp of that wish, stand in confidence and become the person you’ve always wanted to become, do the thing you’ve always wanted.

You are insecure, and being insecure is okay, but just because you are insecure it doesn’t mean everything and everyone should handle you with care. Everyone should be treated the same, which includes you. Do you want to do this? Well, it’s a tough world, get ready for it. Don’t be scared and wait around doing nothing, do it or don’t, in the end, you’ll know what you want.

Extended reading

[kerosene-in-a-blender]

I'm thinking again about how Bells Hells repeatedly insisted they had "no choice" but to release Predathos in the finale, when they very much did have a choice even as they felt it was the best of a series of bad options. They might not have liked the choice, but they did choose to go into the Hallowed Cage instead of doing something else. And the thing is, this refusal of their own agency is something they've done the whole time. One of their most aggravating traits as an adventuring party has been repeatedly asking everyone they come across (gods, world leaders, Predathos itself) what they want as a way to avoid choosing what to do for themselves, to the point that the Raven Queen eventually calls them out on it.

And the fact that the larger political and theological implications of the finale were carried out largely without Bells Hells only further highlights their lack of acknowledged agency. It was in conversations between Vax and Morrighan and Deanna with their respective deities that the implications of the gods becoming mortal where dealt with and the question of whether saving them was worth it was answered (yes they were worth saving, because everyone is). The logistics of what to do with the Ruidians who want to live on Exandria and the establishment of diplomatic relations with the moon were settled by Vox Machina and the Mighty Nein, with Bells Hells taking pretty much no part. Bells Hells lack of involvement in either of these series of conversations makes it feel like these events occurred outside of them despite being spurred entirely by their actions and choices.

But what really makes this stick out to me, is that I've written about characters who actively defer their own agency to external forces before in regards to Moc Weepe and Jonas Spahr of Midst. But where I think both of their arcs work and Bells Hells falls flat is the narrative of Midst acknowledges their deferral of agency and directly grapples with it. Learning to acknowledge that he is making choices and those choice have consequences that he needs to take responsibility for is a key component of Spahr's character arc, which climaxes with him finally making a decisive choice for himself. Weepe in contrast continues to deny his own agency even in the face of the woman he loves begging him to take some accountability (on her deathbed no less!) and this ultimately leads him to his ruin. Whereas with Bells Hells everything worked out just fine in the end despite all their waffling and refusal of responsibility without any consequences that would make them take a good long look at what they did, or bite them for choices they refuse to acknowledge that they made.

[jacquesthepigeon]

Before I looked at your answer, I was thinking about the "Gamer" episode randomly and holy shit, you couldn't be more right.

I never liked how both Tikki and Alya tried to tell Marinette she was being wrong and selfish for trying to beat Max's high score just so she could flirt with Adrien. What kind of nonsense was that? It doesn't matter why Marinette played against him. It was a qualifying round of a competition, and Max LOST! Max being akumatized? Perfectly fine, since he still tried to be a good sport and akumatizations are all about taking advantage of people's emotions. But Marinette's two best friends trying to treat her as though SHE'S in the wrong for being better than someone else at a video game? What kind of nonsense is that? If I practice something for months and lose to someone better than me, should they just step down and go "Tee hee, my bad. You deserve to be the winner instead!"? No!

What lesson was meant to be learned in this episode? Was it "Don't have ulterior motives?". Neither Marinette nor Adrien should have handed Max the controller at the end of the episode, and Max should have ended the episode acknowledging that he just needed to practice more.

Legit I just had to delete an ask just now cuz anon was trying to convince me that the narrative never acknowledges maribug’s wrongs and they were so comprehensively incorrect that I had no respectful way of responding

Anyway yeah the narratives trying to convince us everything is her fault is insane

Remember “the stupidity of sending a love letter”?

Or “she’s responsible for the racially motivated police brutality against her mother”?

Yeah no that shit is obvious as hell idk how some people dig their heads in sand so as to not notice it

[thinkanamelater]

I feel like Thud! is the book that closes the City Watch series, and Snuff is something that trascends it.

Thud! has Vimes at his peak, but at the same time his thread is getting frayed. Since Night Watch he's realizing that his center has shifted, Sybil is now his lifeline in the way that being a cop and working for the city have been before. His priorities have changed, he just avoided a disaster but what's more important is that he didn't miss his son's reading time.

If he was at his peak on Thud!, then he must begin his descense. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, it just means he's settling down, his passion and energy are redirected. Being away from his possition of commander, he has to question what justice is, confront humanity from a new perspective.

Through the series he fights against himself, until he finally faces his darkness in Thud!, and that means the ending of an era and the beginning of a new one. In Snuff he reaches for the darkness. Still warily, still watchful, but he sees that part of himself, he admits that it's there.

At the beginning of Snuff, there's a joke about Vimes reacting like he's made to leave the watch when he's just going on a vacation. But in a way he is leaving, he is retiring, his image has trascended him and he doesn't have to keep proving himself, to portray the version of himself that people expect to see. He doesn't need to be Commander Vimes; he can now be a father, a husband, a friend; he can keep fighting for justice while acknowledging his darkness, really accepting it, not just watching over it and keeping it locked away.

[clemworld]

"taking in bad faith"

you put 'genderfuck' shit on a transmisogyny board.

• if you mean degendering, say that! You didnt say that though.. your words have meanings. you cannot say a different sentence then be upset when people read it as the words mean.

• Again, say that. Because I see it in MANY contexts.. People who think you shouldn't imposed a girl v boy mentality to the trans community, people who enforce a gender binary in trans spaces, shit! not even about trans shit! People say this shit when lesboys exist!! It is a commonly said phrase.. Again, if you mean something, say something. Because you are criticizing generalized things that can so easily be miscontrued to be used to be a dick to people.

• It is slang. People use slang how they use slang. Using slang is not inherently transmisogynistic and its a weird hill to die on. The important thing it acknowledging some people may not be comfortable with it and asking. And if someone messes up, telling them. It is such a non issue. Like putting it on this board is the equivalent of those storyline plots that exist only cuz people don't communicate. People are capable of communicating their needs and asking boundaries.

Now, disrespecting this boundary could go on there no problem!! It happens a lot.. But someone who grew up in a region where that simply is the slang and uses it like that is not the same as someone who goes 'well thats a dumb boundary i use it like XYZ!!!"

Two different scenarios.

• How is TME/TMA misused? I am so glad you asked:

It should be a self descriptor, for starters, because you don't know other people. No, just because that person is a transmasc bigender person you don't know if they've been affected by transmisogyny or not.

The term has basically been co opted for online discourse that boils down to "afab (aka FEMALE) trans=transmasc/trans man and they are tme and amab trans people are all transfem/trans women and are all male and amab and are tma".. which is dumb. People have perverted these terms to mean whatever the fuck they want instead of using it to actually start a conversation about transmisogyny.

You cannot tell TME/TMA by agab, gender identity, expression, (asumed) sex, pronouns, etc.. However certain 4chan-lite people have completely ruined the terms usefulness and it is.. upsetting

A lot of people DO define it by AGAB! And it is a real issue! And it harms any actual discussion because it makes people associate these terms with gender/sex binaries instead of them being useful.

Now, i AM pro use of these terms when used correctly.. but at the end of the day, they really aren't.. especially since how many people just see words used one way and assume thats Just How They Should Be Used. There needs to be a real discussion of the misuse of this term, and people criticizing how its used in the wider community should be allowed to..

... But, yea, people equating them to meaning agab or sex or identity or whatever the fuck IS misusing and it happens a lot. I do not think its impossible to reform these words to what they naturally should mean, but I don't blame people for how they're used

(I can go on but I am ill right now and Cant)

• "the transandrophobia crowd" tells me everything I need to know about you.

i could SMELL the "transmisogyny is when online trans discourse" from that fucking bingo. If you are a self described TME then maybe stay out of conversations about transmisogyny becuase all you're doing is pointing to trans discourse, portraying the 'other side' in not an accurate light, and calling it transmidogyny. THIS is why conversations on this topic are so impossible. People cannot fathom actually talking about issues, its only about 'who is more oppressed' and its bullshit

wanna know WHY people feel they cannot talk about their issues? becasue they are harassed, sexually or violently, called slurs, cyberstalked, etc.. for daring to talk about their own experiences. all in the name of talking about transmisogyny

its basically fuckung radical feminism at that fucking point. do whatever you want as long as you can scream (trans)misogyny you have an excuse! its fucking bullshit.

So, yea, theres a huge community of people who cannot talk about their experiences.. are we forgetyibg the 'transandrophobia crowd' gets harassed to attemtling suicide and then harrassed EVEN MORE because how DARE people create words for their experiences? Being willfully ignorant of this doesn't make it any worse

Also... are we forgetting how many trans women who don't agree with this shit are told they're secretly men and/or transmasc and evil gender traitors for supporting other trans people? It's ridiculous. This discourse does nothing but create an Us Vs Them mentality in the efforts of shitting on the 'acceptable' queer groups to shit on. It doesnt help trans women, these types of bloggers literally revoke trans women's woman card whenever they dare disagree. its 4tran shit.

Like.. has it ever occured to you people say these things for reasons and not outta the blue and portraying it that way just makes your whole post a bad faith argument?

• "trans women are more oppressed than trans men"

anti trans bills harm EVERYONE. ALL trans people. even intersex cis people! like jfc to go "this oppressed minority isnt as oppressed as me😢" is bullshit, the oppression pyramid isnt real and you do nothing but harm your own community by pretending its real

Like imm not even going to explain this to you because no doubt youve SEEN the cases of transmasc people being listed as 'female violence' or the fucking people beaten to death in bathrooms that arent transfem or the intersex people harassed and forced into invasive procedures because they are 'secretly trans' or some shit like jfc

play blind to oppression all you want, us here in the real world will actually be fighting for something

• this point still doesnt make sense to me. you cannot just add "nonbinary people" then make some random excuse. its still weird.

• point 8 is interesting to me. i think in a way we are all affected, i mean, i don't really believe certain people's experiences are 'less than' because its 'misdirected', but also I dont have a strong opinion on that and i respect yours. i tjink there should be more discussion to it. i think saying 'everyone is tma in some way' could be used to be like 'the patriarchy affects people all in some way' but i do understand your pov🤔

anyways yea idk i think i read u wrong when i wrote that one. again, no problem with tme/tma being used correctly! especially as self descriptors which is where i feel it is most useful

• i don't like how you worded pt. 9.. also, again, my main issue with all of these is that these phrases can also be used to miscontrue what people are actually saying by twisting their words.. idk :/

but also i just wanna point out the irony of 'i cant hate trans dudes i am one' cuz its literally on your bingo card to say stuff like that.. /lighthearted

• pt 10, im not misreading shit. you just admitted right there! it isnt that "misandry isnt real". that is exactly the dogwhistle you fuckers use to ACTUALLY MEAN "trans men dont have their own issues. its the same phrase. all of these phrases are innocuous enough but are the same parroted phrases to put words in peoples mouths when they talk about transandrophobia .. nobody has ever said misandry is real (in the way that its an actual societal issue, self described misandrists exist everywhere)

but what people HAVE said is "no, i don't have male privelege because thats not how oppression works and i suffer my own unique experiences with oppression as well, on the basis of being a trans dude"

but people HEAR "wah i am a dude and im oppressed" because people are incapable of letting others speak they lives

and im not replying to 11 more because i am not on what exactly is being replied to where

• no 12. you have seen trans discourse and decidded to make a bingo. as a TRANS WOMAN, yk, TMA, i am telling you this bingo is bullshit and filled with weird logic. and i know many trans women online and offline who agree with me. a small bit of trans people make a discourse on something, it does not mean they speak for everyone. and as a trans woman i reserve the right to disagree with this and its weird tones to my trans brothers.

Like yk how many trans women on trans twitter used to harass passing trans women cuz theyre "passoids"? doesn't sound like a real issue that shoulld be a big issue. passing vs not. but it was to them, but that doesnt mean every single trans woman out there agreed that this was even something to be arguing about. this is nothing more than trans discourse

same with the 'toothpaste flag' or 'the term achillean is bad' discourse. it will blow over in a few years and everyone will think how stupid the online harassment over queer dudes existing was, and people will go onto the next target.

So, tldr, if you really wanna talk about transmisogyny, do that. but dont parade around your discourse opinions as an actual conversation about it.

going to start using this for every dipshit post i see on here

[vpyre]

So. Finally finished Veilguard. Here are my thoughts immediately post-ending in case anyone cares what I think lol

(Putting under a cut cus spoilers and also lots of words)

The final cutscene where I convinced Solas to bind the Veil to himself right before the wrap up epilogue thingy had me cheering and flailing around in my seat and actually tearing up a bit, but after, it set in that I didn’t really feel like I connected to most of the companions and it felt like their stories made no actual impact on anything. And it somehow felt like Rook didn’t impact them much at all either, even though you make some pretty big choices for them. They didn’t really have the depth of the companions in the other games or the strength of the bond the other game’s companions had with their protagonist. Rook felt very separate.

The whole game felt very low stakes and like there wasn’t actually any chance anything could go wrong. While I know there’s a bad ending, it’s really hard to get compared to the other games. You’d have to not be a completionist and completely ignore a large amount of side quests.

It felt a lot like all the choices I made were sort of inconsequential and took me to the same places regardless of what I could have chosen. It’s like the game holds your hand and treats you like you’re a child who needs to be guided through the whole process with failsafe after failsafe. It’s like it didn’t trust the player to just PLAY and feel the consequences. I want there to be consequences!! I want what kind of people the companions turn out to be to directly affect the story!! Like, the fact that most of their big choices don’t really have a right or wrong answer rubs me the wrong way. It feels like Emmrich choosing lichdom should have more tangible consequences than just losing Manfred, for example.

I want characters that struggle with morality and whether or not doing An Evil Thing is worth the cost. I want characters that are kind of assholes at the beginning for various reasons and who develop and improve (or get worse!!) as the story goes on. They were all WAY too nice to each other fsjdkfjdjchfjd. I miss Dorian and Vivienne bitching at each other. I miss when Anders told Fenris to kill himself. I miss when Morrigan and Alistair couldn’t get through a sentence without insulting each other at least twice </3

I also really, REALLY, REALLY wish there was more romance content or that there had been more acknowledgment of the romance in the epilogue than just one line without much to it, because GOD what it did actually give me was SO GOOD. I want MORE of that. And people say Emmrich’s is the most fleshed-out and finished romance. Yikes…

I seriously loved every scene with him and will fight anyone who says it isn’t a gorgeous romance, but all it did was leave me wanting MORE. It felt like there should have been MORE. I wish there’d been a celebration scene at the end at the very least. Give me a chance to give Emmrich a victory kiss PLEASEEEE!!! To be fair though, I think BG3, DAI, and DAI’s Trespasser DLC spoiled me SO rotten in that regard lmao.

Like, this game was SO GOOD and I loved every second, don’t get me wrong, it just felt like something crucial was missing to make it a full and impactful experience. There was SO MUCH potential and it makes me really sad to know that it genuinely, actually could have been even better than it was. It could’ve had me sobbing at my desk, but it just BARELY missed that mark. It felt rushed almost, which is fucking CRAZY considering that it was in development limbo for TEN FUCKING YEARS, but fucking EA was breathing down the dev’s necks and meddling and fucking with things, so I guess this is what we get 🫠

And what we did get was damn good, but- and I’ll say this over and over until the fucking cows come home- it felt like something was MISSING. It felt like there should be MORE. There was this sense of dissatisfaction with the whole thing that the other games didn’t give me in the slightest.

The writing was genuinely so good too!!! The story was fantastic!!! But the execution and some of the dialogue and the missed opportunities for connection between player and companions and the way the companions AND the player felt disembodied and separate from the rest of the world and each other just made the whole thing kinda unsatisfying. As a whole: great game! I had a ton of fun! I just wish there had been MORE.

Anyway, takeaway from Veilguard endgame: I fucking HATE capitalism!

[natsuki208]

Mikasa Ackerman! Strongest Girl With That One Flaw

Today is that day when I can express once more of how much of a Mikasa defender I am! But despite all the good, I will acknowledge the major flaw that caused many to dislike her as well, and unfortunate ruined her character going onward.

(Plz, I don’t wanna see any of you haters here for this girl on her special day, thank you)

-

We all know of Mikasa’s strengths; figuratively and literally. She’s known as one of the manga/anime’s strongest fighters, due to her Ackerman blood and what she had to go through as a child. It was because of both her power and compassion is how she managed to save citizens of Trost to escape the city in S1. She showed signs of a dependable soldier.

One other noticeable side of her character that got explored a lot more within the story was her connection with Eren, and that divided a lot of the fans as the series went on. On one hand, it reflects back to when Eren saved her from being sold for profit and how much his kindness meant to her, but on the other hand, it slowly started to isolate her from other important aspects needed to keep her interesting.

But it wasn’t all that bad; to me that is. There have been times when Mikasa showed worry for her other closest friend Armin, protecting him and comforting him during hard times, swung in to save Historia and Sasha from titans, checked on Connie by asking if he’s okay, and even was concerned about Levi’s ankle.

So yeah. Mikasa grew connections with almost everyone around her, opening up to have more friends within her small circle since her childhood, however, her feelings for Eren started to overlap those friendships. Not that it is a bad thing, I love how the two grew closer as the series went on but it really shouldn’t be the only important part of her development. A healthy mixture of all her traits would’ve made a better experience.

Sadly, the concept of her undying love for Eren gets heavily exaggerated in the dreaded fourth season.

By that I mean for most of her screentime she spend worrying about Eren and only him. Sure there was… Sasha, but it didn’t really last for very long. In fact, she didn’t really speak much to anyone other than Armin afterwards, and I thought she’d be more open to help them out with their own struggles.

In fact, her love for Eren seemed to have made her more fragile to his own thoughts as well, like when he spoke his mind and pretended to admit he hated her, she got over emotional.

(this is the same girl who didn’t hesitate to punch him in the face when he went too far)

But at the end of the day, it didn’t really matter since she managed to save the world by killing Eren with her own hands but still has him at the front of her mind years later. Yes, it can be hard to move on but at least show some scenes of her bonding with her other friends, even leaving Armin in the dust.

-

Anyway, happy birthday, you poor girl. You deserved much better. Not as in Eren, but as in better writing to expand your character. I had a lot more to say but I don’t wanna make this too long. Maybe I’ll update this later on.

[natasha-in-space]

I got a yoosung angst prompt cuz its fun to put the most sunshine guy through the worst traumas

How do you think his relationship will mc be post Bad Ending 3. Yeah its the ending where Unknown kidnaps and tortures him. Lets assume that he eventually got rescued and nearly died in the process (cuz Unknown badly hurt him in a fit of rage) but he survives....he lives

But whats gonna be after that how the whole ordeal is gonna affect his relationship with his S/O because it is going to be tough for both the parties. Ofc yoosung who was directly affected by the ordeal will need alot of therapy, and love and support. But it was quite tough for mc too.... if anything yoosung route does, it shows us the fact that losing a loved one is traumatic, nearly losing one too as well and MC also was traumatised and is guilt ridden (maybe i should have tried harder to stop him had i knew this would happen is a constant thought in her head) she also becomes somewhat protective of him because he has been through enough and deserves to get the best of the world.....but while mc is well intentioned in her actions....it somehow stings Yoosung, he is the one who should be protecting her, he should be the proactive one in the relationship....thats what he thinks. It makes him feel small....besides he can also see her running herself thin for him....and he just wants to not be a burden to her...

I rambled alot im sorry but i wanna see your take. As always i just wanna let you know I love your writing

Well, the unfortunate thing that I just can't help but bring up is that... Bad Ending 3 happens due to the player's (MC's) actions. That's not how it works in real life, of course, but with the structure of MM's storyline, that's how it plays out, and that's how it's meant to be interpreted by the player. In that ending, MC prioritizes themselves first, and encourages Yoosung self-sacrificial tendencies for their own benefit (or, well, safety, to be more exact). MC's actions are what led Yoosung to sacrifice himself in that ending in the first place. And that's also the reason behind his seeming resolve with what Unknown is putting him through in the aftermath.

'It's okay. I'm protecting them. They wanted me to keep them safe. So they wouldn't be scared. I need to stay strong for them. I'm doing this for them. Because I love them. Because I don't want to be in the dark and not do anything like it happened with Rika.'

So both sides of the argument are dealing with a messy tangle of emotions to deal with. And if you do want to imagine a better resolution to all of this, it'll probably involve a lot of conversations between the two.

Your dynamic between each other is unbalanced in that particular ending. And that's something that needs to be fixed. MC should take more care of Yoosung's well-being first before their own and believe in him, while Yoosung needs to work on his anxious attachment style.

It is difficult, though, because Yoosung's worst traits got the best of him as a direct result of MC's actions. The situation is pretty similar to those who want to imagine a better solution to Jumin's 2 Bad Ending. While it's possible, it needs to be acknowledged that MC is the one who needs to put most of the work in.

In my opinion, what would their relationship be like? Well, if we assume that MC does feel guilty for everything that happened, that's a lot of emotional baggage to deal with. Yoosung got hurt. Bad. Both physically and mentally. And he'll probably dismiss it too. It's important to remember that in this particular ending, he's devoted to you to an unhealthy extent. Not the same as in his 1 Bad Ending, but in a very self-sacrificial way. He'll probably just smile at you and say that he's happy you're safe. That that was the only thing he ever wanted. And that he held out for so long because he remembered what you told him, and how scared you were.

So... it's a pretty heavy situation for MC to be in. It's one thing to have your loved one disregard their well-being for you, but it's completely different when it's the direct consequence of your own actions.

Many apologies need to be made. Even if Yoosung doesn't understand why you're apologizing to him. Lots of talks to be had. And lots of very slow and steady progress to be made.

It's possible to come up with a better resolution to this mess. But it'll require a lot of work and patience from both MC and Yoosung. It does make a very interesting story to think about, though!

[theiaphage]

This is a really well worded post and I generally agree! However, I think I got another angle of this same conclusion based on the idea that Amy's original redemption arc never really concluded only to backslide -- rather, that her expectations about redemption fundamentally change what that redemption arc means in-text

Like you say, it absolutely falls well within the typical narrative-trope parameters of the expected 'redemption arc,' she hits all the core points -- but, like with a lot of tropes related to pain, trauma, healing, forgiveness and so on, the typical narrative portrayal isn't often a realistic one. In that way I think Amy acts as both a good example and, with further context, a deconstruction of the redemption arc, because under further examination a lot of the arc itself isn't necessarily as positive as it first came off. In so many of her attempts, she's trying to do better according to all she knows when surrounded by the worst influences possible. She doesn't have a solid safe role model, and hasn't for her entire life. Someone to tell her that sometimes you just won't be forgiven, that not every fight ends with a hug and back-to-normal at the end.

In that way, Amy's attempts at doing the right thing in Worm, though absolutely noble in conscious intent, still betray a few of her failings and the places she was failed. Like you say, she really does try to get better, she does the things she may know broadly lead to healing or help or forgiveness, but a lot still ends up being more about her than her efforts.

The tattoo here absolutely stands out to me -- even before Ward went and had her all but explicitly say that the tattoo holds a different meaning now, even in Worm it still seemed imperfect, questionable potentially, but with heart behind it. It was a memorialization of pain and a reminder to do better -- but like so many pieces of art about pain or failure, it could inadvertently romanticize the subject just as much as it condemns it. Amy is, in a very real way, actively working this tragedy into a part of a narrative -- one she tries to use for growth, but ultimately fails in.

I'm trying not to be too harsh on Amy here, but vibes-wise I'm reminded somewhat of something like an ex-boyfriend, leaving flowers at the door of someone who dumped him, or cry-singing a song about how they were a bad boyfriend on the car drive home. Sure, the pain is real, the acknowledgement of failure likely is as well, but at some point the gesture becomes more about the boyfriend's pain than the actual relationship, or even the breakup. In this moment Victoria, a victim who literally cannot speak for herself in this instance, is 'memorialized' in a very real sense, turned into a symbol by a person that already as a base nature of their power and life can feel so disconnected from the humanity of others.

So many of these choices by Amy center her -- her attempted growth, her attempted retribution, her attempted change. It's the kind of thing that in real life really can be done for the right reasons, but can also be done for worse ones -- that ex-boyfriend working out thinking of their ex, getting a job thinking of their ex, hanging a picture of their ex above their bed to motivate them to get up in the morning. Amy's actions aren't even this extreme or pointed, but I view it as them sharing a sort of kernel of trying to do better because they really want (or even need) better in turn -- and thus, Amy's arc in Ward is what happens when the textbook redemption arc doesn't work.

When all those acts of memoriam, distance, betterment, health, are done with the kernel of hope in your mind that it means you'll be forgiven, that it all will be fine again and you can go back to how it was.

And that's why I see her redemption arc as never having completed -- she's trying, she's hitting the right steps, but ultimately at the conclusion of this redemption (which I would argue is a long period of time, starting with Vicky's new body and coming back up again for a while) would come when those attempts were tested, when Victoria refuses to forgive her and she's forced to either accept her betterment without Victoria, or let go of it and keep pushing for her -- she begins to choose the later.

In this way it's less of a backslide and more of a recontextualizing moment. She is backsliding in behavior, but it's not that she got foundationally better and then became foundationally worse again, and more so that she tried to get better, put in real effort, but ultimately failed. This version worked for me because it seems to be what Amy acts like right out of the gate; annoyed that Vicky won't accept her, continually trying to do things 'for' her or based on her happiness when Victoria wants nothing to do with any of that.

These give some context to her past actions, allow you to re-examine Worm in a way that both provides answers and adds a new layer in a way many readers (myself included) missed at first simply because yeah, Amy's arc does have all the pieces of a redemption arc, and it takes Ward to get people thinking about whether or not those pieces add up.

I do want to state to conclude that yeah, her portrayal (and especially the initial choice to tell this story surrounding Amy of all people) has its issues, many major, but the portrayal of someone who falls into toxicity and abuse because they thought they were doing everything right and still didn't get what they wanted out of it; A person who still didn't get that one selfish prize they latched onto in a moment of pain that they tried to be a saint to deserve or make up for wanting? Yeah, that's pretty unique and powerful, and despite its flaws it really hits home as an accurate-to-the-point-of-painfulness portrayal.

Okay, fuck it, I've built up enough goodwill with this sideblog - let's risk it all by sharing my opinions on how Amy is handled in Ward.

It's kinda complicated I think.

Okay, now that I've resisted the urge to immediately hit post for the bit: I think the way her interludes are written substantially flattens her character in a way that I find distasteful and unpleasant, but I find the overall shape of her arc and her role in the narrative compelling. The things I dislike have been well-covered by plenty of other people in the fandom, so I'm going to focus on the things I like.

To talk about Amy's role in Ward, I first need to talk about my interpretation of Ward as a whole. To me, Ward is, above all else, about trauma and recovery. Society is traumatized by the end of the world, the shards are traumatized by the death of Scion and their loss of purpose, individuals are traumatized by all the things individuals are traumatized by. As an aside, this reading is a big reason why I'm not too bothered by a lot of the world building choices that other people frequently (and fairly) criticize - I think many of them serve this theme effectively.

One specific facet of that reading that I find particularly compelling is Ward's interest in people who are traumatized not just by the harm done to them, but by the harm they've done. Characters don't just regret what they've done, they don't just want to be better, they are traumatized by it, and their reactions to that trauma are as messy and complicated as any other traumatized people. I don't always agree with the stances the text takes on how to deal with having done harm and been traumatized as a result, but I find the exploration of the topic compelling.

Enter The Altruistic Amy Dallon.

Amy's arc in Worm was, to a degree, a prototype of this kind of storytelling. She is repeatedly and horrifically traumatized, the actions she eventually takes in response to that experience inflict equally horrific trauma on her victim, and she is further traumatized by her own actions almost to the point of ego death. She removes herself from the environment she was in, begins rebuilding her sense of identity and ethics, and reemerges having grown, prepared to do better going forward and to make reparations for her past actions as best she can. Arc done! It's satisfying and cathartic, and we leave content in the knowledge that the part she's on will take her to better places. It's the quintessential appeal of a redemption arc, and it's a strong example of its type.

There's something people like to say a lot when talking about mental health and personal growth in real life, and that is that progress isn't linear. It's an important truth to understand.

It's rarely true in fiction. Very often, in redemption arcs, in personal growth arcs, after a series of false starts and setbacks, the character reaches a critical point where they resolve their conflict and either overcome it or succumb to it. From that point on, their nature or behavior is fundamentally changed - if they've grown they never relapse past a certain point, or do so only fleetingly, or else never improve past a certain point. This makes sense from a storytelling perspective, but it doesn't map to how growth often works in real life.

In Ward, Amy occupies the very rare narrative position of being who completes her arc of growth and redemption, who crosses that critical threshold of lasting, meaningful change... but backslides anyway, to the point of essentially losing all that progress.

It's an outcome that I find very believable for her, honestly. Her newfound worldview and conviction were forged in the very insular environment of the Birdcage - of course they would be impacted by her new environment. She says at the end of Ward that she had been able to excuse all of her worst behavior because she had convinced herself that she could fix anything - and at the end of Worm, I can see how she would come to think that! She's been pardoned and released from Forever Prison, she overcame her old aversion to brains to create Khepri and thereby saved the world, she's formed a positive relationship with the father she never thought she'd meet, she's receiving love and support from parents she never felt good enough for, she's using her powers to help people in a way that doesn't make her want to die, and she even "fixed" Victoria, when failing to do that before was the final nail in the coffin she just finished clawing her way out of! The sheer number of seemingly impossible things she's accomplished, of apparently irreversible failures she's seemingly put right, is mind boggling! It'd be the easiest thing in the world to let that go to your head!

Her social circle is also a perfect environment to enable her worst tendencies - there's no one left in it whose opinion she trusts that's willing to call her on her shit. Marquis doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior, Carol is trying to make up for a decade of neglect and unwarranted criticism, Mark just wants everybody to get along and be happy, and Riley and Rinke are pretty shaky on this whole human decency thing themselves! With a (not unjustified) pride in how far she'd come, a circle of willing enablers, a complete lack of moderating influences, and a bulletproof get-out-of-moral-culpability-free card, and two years to spiral, I find her backsliding to be completely believable. And given that Victoria is the fly in the ointment to all of this, that her continued refusal to have anything to do with Amy gives lie to Amy's belief that she can fix anything, and thereby puts the entire edifice of her self-rationalizations at risk, it also makes perfect sense to me that Amy would become fixated on her, on proving that she really can fix anything.

Of course, being believable isn't the same thing as being compelling. The thing that makes all this so resonant for me is that, at the end of Ward, after being this grasping spectre that haunts Victoria the whole book, after rejecting countless opportunities to demonstrate a hint of self-awareness or the slimmest motivation to change - Amy does. She sits down with a therapist. She rips off the band-aid - both the metaphorical one and the literal one made out of Victoria's skin, jesus christ Amy - looks at what she's done, at how she went awry, and resolves to do better. And we end with her in essentially the same place she was at the end of Worm: prepared to do better going forward and to make reparations as best she can. But the journey she has taken to get there gives the destination entirely new meaning for me. She's already fumbled her chance at redemption! But her journey gives lie to the idea that you only have one chance, or two, or any finite number! Every moment you draw breath is a chance to do better.

To me, Amy Dallon's arc in Ward shows that the most important step you can take is the next one, and no matter how many times you walk up and down that road, it never stops being true. And I find that compelling as hell.

[screwpinecaprice]

Haha she a Border Connie.

Even before Cat Steven (the cat) I imagined a cat Steven to be a calico with a stubby tail.

[shakingparadigm]

what is the theory that ivan manipulated the event where till and mizi met the wagyein?

It's not a theory, actually! It's confirmed that Ivan orchestrated the whole event. The true reason as to why however is still unknown. The information provides more context to this scene, though:

During the earlier times of ALNST the most rational explanation for this scene was that Till ran after a flower crown (presumably Mizi's) and Ivan followed him in out of curiosity. Now we know that Ivan was conveniently just standing there because he was waiting.

Side note, I find it heartbreaking (and maybe a little funny, sorry) that Till most likely didn't notice Ivan in this scene. That's just like him, isn't it. Always too busy running after Mizi while Ivan trails behind, an ever-present shadow.

I'm not sure how Ivan manipulated the circumstances for both of them to end up there, but it is confirmed that everything was intentional. What strikes me most is how they describe this particular scene:

I can't copy down what they said word-for-word (Patreon info), but they described Ivan watching "creepily" as Till and Mizi are faced with danger. We know that Ivan was familiar with the Cerberus wagyein beforehand, enough to touch its teeth and even to rest himself inside its maw. To Ivan, the wagyein is not dangerous, but to Till and Mizi, it could be. Ivan prepared the wagyein, led them there, and watched "creepily" from afar as Till fell on his knees, seemingly injured.

The closest I can get to making sense of Ivan's "scheme" is that he wanted to see how other children would react in a dangerous situation. Ivan's always been an observer, after all, and he's learned to survive by copying the more "normal" behaviors of his peers. This situation occured when Ivan was still young and had not yet developed his more charming mask, so perhaps he staged this encounter to study a situational response, to learn and mimic the emotion of fear. And what better subjects for the experiment than two of the most expressive and reactive humans of their batch? It helps that he was already fixated on Till beforehand, too. I think Ivan became irreversibly obssessed after this incident, especially since it's framed as a turning point in Ivan's life, comparing Till to the stars.

This is just my attempt at an interpretation, though. It could very well be for another reason. He most likely chose Till and Mizi specifically for personal reasons, not just for reaction. I'm still not sure on the purpose behind the whole thing.

The team wanted to capture Ivan's "dark emotions" through the shot of his stalking, which could relate to his more sinister intentions. His gaze can be read in a few different ways, though. Curiosity, interest, fear, etc. Maybe that's why they decided to redraw the shot in ROUND 6.

I think this better sells the feeling they were trying to convey.

[clfixationstation]

I'm so intrigued that I watched Arcane and ended up getting kinda attached to the m/f couple and the m/m couple, and not the f/f couple. Like, this is the complete opposite of my typical mode of operation what is happening here

tbf I don't care very much about jayvik, but timebomb really endeared itself to me

It's not that I dislike caitvi, and I'm very, very glad that it exists in its full, uncensored glory - and with a happy ending! I was just never sold on it somehow. I kept almost getting it, and then being put off (by Cait's classism & cop tendencies, or the timing, or whatever). And I really wanted to like it! And I do like a lot of it, I'm just not attached :(

I can't tell if caitvi just isn't for me or if the writing slipped up somewhere, because a lot of other people seem to really like them together. Perhaps a bit of both

anyways, caitvi are lucky they're hot

[c0exiist]

“Your father had a point. The way Badem tried to make us feel bad whenever he had to get his vaccines…Ugh, my heart…It was only later that I realized he was milking us for treats. Smart pup that’s for sure.” Going back on the topic of Nazli getting a pet, the vet then said, “If you do end up with a cat of your own, I hope they have just as much of a personality that’s at least similar to Badem’s in their own way. It’s always entertaining and normally they’re the types to alleviate stress when you least expect it…even if on some days they can be a handful.” 

After learning about Nazli’s current endeavour, Catriona nodded in understanding as she explained how she felt about the whole thing. “That’s a lovely way of putting it.” mused Cat with a chuckle. “If it’s any consolation, I feel like you’re on the right track given that all business owners tend to go through it in the beginning and then you simply get used to it. It’s all a matter of finding that routine that works for you, as well as the clientele that you serve and a business model that you can maintain in the long run.” Her features relaxed as she reflected on her own business and she could definitely resonate with it being both rewarding and frustrating. “And you will figure it out, so long as you don’t give up.” 

Hearing about Nazli’s travels was definitely interesting as she had never been to such places before. Hearing the passion in her voice meant that it was truly worth it and gaining an understanding of why she did it made Catriona realize the importance of putting yourself first. “Well for starters I’m jealous that you were able to do all that. It definitely sounded freeing…” Her gaze then softened as she understood the need to escape the junction and start new, “I don’t blame you for wanting time away. I feel like people should experience at least something new out of the norm in their day to day life. There’s so much more out there than all this…” 

She knew her response to the kind of clientele would be an amusing one and so she gestured a hand towards their surroundings and stated the obvious, “This is Devil’s Junction after all, you just never know who you might encounter.” Nodding, Catriona huffed a sigh and said, “Busy is starting to sound more like an understatement.” Biting the insides of her cheek, she knew her background would eventually come up at any given conversation and so, she gave her usual response like clockwork, “Not exactly…My family worked at the stables and so I grew up around horses…Life had other plans for me and I went into nursing, but I don’t know. I wasn’t happy.” She couldn’t bring herself to acknowledge the fact that she was a qualifying olympian, let alone the accident. It was something she kept buried deep. Forcing out a smile, she shrugged and said, “So the middle ground was to be a veterinarian, my passion is for the animals just like how yours is in the arts with your creativity. I also do what I can to give back to the community...I guess I simply feel compelled to make a difference and overall, a positive impact."

Nazli’s lips curled into a soft smile at the mention of Badem. “He really was. My dad always said he had too much personality for one dog.” The ache of loss never really went away—it just settled, became something quieter, easier to carry. She was grateful Catriona didn’t linger on the topic, though. Some people tiptoed around grief like it was fragile, others treated it like a wound they needed to prod at. This? This felt natural.

At the shift in conversation, Nazli let out a small laugh. “Jewelry, yes. Business, absolutely not.” She leaned against the counter, thoughtful. “I was always creative, but I never really thought about turning it into a business until… well, until I had to.” She said it lightly, but there was a quiet truth beneath it. “It’s been an adjustment. Rewarding, frustrating—kind of like training a stubborn puppy, actually.” She grinned. “But I’m figuring it out.”

Catriona’s next question caught her off guard, but in a good way. Most people just asked if she was happy to be back, not about where she’d been. “Yeah, I spent a lot of time in Istanbul and Cappadocia. And then a little bit of everywhere—Spain, Italy, Morocco, the UAE. It was… freeing.” Her gaze softened as she thought about it. “I think I needed that time away, just to reconnect with a part of myself outside of all this.” She gestured vaguely, encompassing the town, the weight of legacy that came with both. “I loved it. There’s something about walking through a new city, knowing no one, speaking just enough of the language to get by—it makes you pay attention to the little things.”

She tilted her head slightly at Catriona’s answer about her clients, an amused glint in her eyes. “Pet owners from all walks of life, huh? That’s a very polished answer.” She grinned, but she didn’t press. Everyone had their own way of choosing their words, and besides, she liked the sound of what Catriona did. “You’re busy, then. That’s impressive. Stables, too? I don’t think I’ve been out to Champion’s Gate since I was a kid.” She paused, considering. “What got you into all this? The vet work, the shelters… is it something you always wanted?”

[torchlitinthedesert]

I think Alex wanted to be a very loyal friend to John. He wanted John's attention. There were enough men that wanted his attention at that time. It wasn't physical, it was mental. They were almost desperate, the heterosexual ones.

Pattie Boyd on "Magic" Alex Mardas and John Lennon, interviewed in 1980. Peter Brown and Steven Gaines, All You Need Is Love (2024)

[helbrides]

political thriller where padme and dooku are besties/toxic mentor-mentee/weird grandpa-adopted kid in a leo mcgarry + josh lyman style. padme accepts dooku’s offer in a sudden move because she’s sick of the chancellor and finds anakin fascinating but unnerving. dooku is all like “oh my evil plan is working” but they both slowly realize that they’re fucked once dooku and padme realize the scale of palpatine’s ambitions. dooku as a way for padme to express rebellion against the chancellor and the failing republic by sneaking secrets and helping the CIS. padme as a way for dooku to have a second chance and the hopefulness of the youth. leftist infighting. kotor influences and the understanding of the failures of the jedi in being tied so intimately w the senate. “we will watch your career with great interest.” is this anything???

[beargregor]

Chef greg delivery just for you. it's a wonder I hadn't bearified him yet, he's my fave greg too 🔪

gays literally only want one thing (to be chopped up and eaten by a depressed man) and it's fucking disgusting