#how to catch snitches and get witches

[gloivy]

How to Catch Snitches and Get Witches

a dramione romcom

In which Draco Malfoy publishes an autobiography, and Hermione Granger works to expose his lies.

Chapter 7: Maid of Dishonour

[theprenderelliepalace]

A Simple Christmas

°•°*°•°

James Potter x Reader

Tags: Enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, slow burn, Christmas fluff, unrequited love, angst/fluff, GRYFFINDOOR QUIDITCH Y'ALL

Summary: You and James Potter have been rivals since first year, but a Quidditch incident in your fourth year brings you closer. Spending Christmas at the Potter's, you realize your feelings for James might be more than just rivalry. With a little holiday magic, you discover that sometimes love is hidden in the most unexpected places

Warnings: Minor injury, mild language, slight angst (concerned reader), tensions...

Words: 2.7k

°•°*°•°

You started the tradition of Christams at the Potter's in fourth year.

It was an unlikely thing for you to agree to, seeing as you hated James Potter's guts from the moment you bumped into him on the Express in first year.

He was rude, loud, arrogant and the most devious 11 year-old you'd ever had the displeasure of meeting.

And then he grew up...

He and his gang of Mauraders were always the talk of the school, "Potter this- Potter that." "Oh,did you hear about Potter's latest prank? It was brilliant!" You began to detest him with even greater passion. It certainly didn't help, in third year when you both tried out for the Gryffindoor Quiditch team. He was a great Seeker- you'd give him that- yet, every time you won a match, you couldn't help the strange sensation of emotions that would fill your chest and cloud your eyes.

He was so, easy, everything was easy for James Potter. Talking, smiling, laughing. You started to notice everything about him and suddenly that became easy too. He would do something funny and outrageous and you'd catch yourself staring. He'd make a quip at you, you'd fire back and you'd find yourself laughing. Smiling even!

Then every day, you'd tell yourself, 'this has to stop.' Or, 'pull yourself together, Y/n! We hate him! He's a foul example of Gryffindoor overconfidence, he's a lousy classmate. He couldn't spell the word reliable with the help of the Imperious Curse!' And then you'd stop short and sigh, and watch the way he talked to her.

Lily Evans was beautiful, she was the "most talented witch of her age," Professor Dippet would praise after every assignment. She was smart, she was vibrant. Everything James Potter could want. In fact he did, he'd wanted her from the very moment he'd seen her on that train. He'd bumped into you to get to her.

Was that why you hated him? Because he'd chosen her over you? You shook your head at the thought. No. Of course not, you'd both made your beds with those very first insults on that train. That's how it was and how it would always be.

Until it wasn't...

°•°*°•°

It was the first match of the term in your fourth year. Tensions were high. Slytherin vs. Gryffindoor. Everyone was on edge to get one over on the other house. You had to admit, you were feeling strung pretty high to win this particular game. And it was not happening.

You groaned from your broom as you listened to Sirius Black narrate yet another goal for Slytherin over the loud speaker with slew of curses flying off as rapidly as he could come up with them. You caught a brief glance of the new Transfigurations teacher, Professor McGonagall, snatch the microphone from him and tell him off with such sterness, you could understand why the infamous trouble causer was cowering in the stands.

You stole yourself from the scene and focused on the task at hand. A fellow Gryffindoor Chaser was flying for you, fast, you steadied yourself on your broom and prepared to take the Quaffle. You snatched it at lightning speed, taking off to the other end of the pitch, the Slytherin Chasers caught in your dust. You scored. "10 points to Gryffindoor!" Black shouted.

Good, you were tied now. You spun around, you jumped as something hurtled past you and downwards to the field. You heard the roars of the crowd before you could make out what it was. "Potter's got the snitch!" Sirius bellowed. The Gryffindoors were chanting Potter's name before you could even steady your broom. You were smiling at him.

He was holding the snitch in his hand, waving it around in triumph. "Way to go Potter!" You called down to him. He looked up at you, grinning at you lopsidedly.

"That a compliment Y/l/n?" You shook your head at him playfully.

"Don't let it go to you'd head!" His grin widened.

"Not like that would-" You couldn't hear the rest of his sentence before you looked around to find a Slytherin Beater 30 feat away, her bat raised over her shoulder and the bludger she'd hit, flying straight at you. All you could comprehend was the searing pain in your head as it made impact. You slid off your broom ... it was all so hazy... someone caught you... someone was saying your name... and then came the darkness.

°•°*°•°

You woke up with a searing headache and foggy vision. -"concussion Mr Potter. You must leave my patient to recover."

"But it's been days Madame Pomfrey. Shouldn't she be awake?" You couldn't quite make out the owner of the voice, your ears were buzzing like a colony of pixies were fluttering around in there. You made a guess though and when you gingerly opened an eye, the first thing you saw was his shaggy mop of black hair cascading over his worried face.

Worried? Why should he be worried about you? He hated you, right. Right? Then you listened to his voice, the pleading tone and lilt of angst. It was so unlike the boy you'd spent four years getting to know that you were taken aback. You felt the urge to make fun of him by saying something clever, instead you just groaned and your smirk turned into a grimace. "Y/n!"

He was by your side in a flash, or perhaps you'd just blinked really slowly. While Madame Pomfrey fussed over you, you listened to him talk. -" and then, that skeevy brat, she had the gall to pretend to be sorry when the ref told her off. Of course, the Captain was furious and he spent an hour and a half trying to disqualify them from the whole season. It's a pity we've got a Slytherin flying coach this year, else he totally wouldn't have allowed them to play after you'd got hurt." James shook his head like the very notion disgusted him. "But, I think their Beater, Doldra Macconal, she'll find herself a nice little surprise tomorrow morning." He smiled devilishly. Perhaps it was the ointment that Madame Pomfrey had put over your bruises that turned your face bright red but suddenly you felt very hot.

Madame Pomfrey bustled away to fetch a clean cloth and this gave you time to think. "Wait, who caught me after I fell? I would've had a few more broken bones than this if I just fell off my broom." It was the first time you'd actually spoken, your voice sounded foreign in your throat and you jumped slightly. James looked at you sympathetically for a moment before your question sunk in. You watched him curiously as his cheeks pinkened and a bashful look fluttered over his face.

"Well, you just fell, like, clean off your broom. And- and I was right there, so..." He seemed much to embarrassed to continue. So you finished for him. He nodded sheepishly. You smiled at him, even though it hurt and asked, "What'dya mean Macconnel will find a surprise tomorrow morning?" You glared at him more sternly, "James, what did you do?" He gafawed at you.

"I think that's the first time you've called me by my name." You looked surprised at him, even he seemed surprised. Then you both burst into laughter.

You chatted for what seemed like hours after that, going back and forth between the match and the gossip around Hogwarts while you'd been out. But after a painstakingly short 20 minutes, Madame Pomfrey shooed James out of the hospital wing. He glanced back at you with a sad smile. You tried to smile back, it didn't go very well, but he got the message.

When you got out of the hospital that seemed to be it. You, James Potter and his Marauding gang became inseparable after that. It was like all you needed to do was talk to him and suddenly you were head over heels- no! No way!

°•°*°•°

The train was bustling with students all heading home for the holidays. You stood on the platform, proudly suiting your 6th year status and watching the first years fondly as they lept onto the train. "Watcha thinking 'bout Y/n/n?" You smiled at James as he came to stand beside you. He heaved his luggage in front of him with a disgruntled huff.

"Hmm, just when we started being friends. Hey, what did you actually do to Macconnel after she bludgered me? I never actually asked." James laughed his hearty laugh that you'd come to love. You shook your head, stop it, you scolded yourself.

"Oh Goddric,it was so great. But id forgotten 'bout it. We gave her a right scare." He smiled fondly at the memory.

"It's creepy that you think about it with that kind of smile on your face." You stepped onto the train, dragging your trunk after you.

"Oi! What's that? What's wrong with my face?" He followed after you.

"I think she means you look right ugly Prongsy." Came Sirius's lilting voice from a nearby cabin. You laughed as you shoved past him, the two of you exchanging mischievous glances.

"Listen to Pads, James. He has a point." You stuck your tongue out at him, deciding to drop the Macconnel story. He glowered back at you. He heaved his trunk onto the top shelf, turning to you and so naturally lifting yours up, taking it from your hands. Your stomach did summersaults as your fingers brushed. Sirius chuckled. You spun on him and did a wild shushing motion with your full upper body. This only made him fully laugh.

James turned. "Eh, what's funny now?" Sirius held his hands up in mock surrender at your furious glare.

"Nothing, nothing mate. Swear it." He slumped down onto the seat closest to the window, leaving just enough room for you and James to sit achingly close together on the opposite bench. You felt like hexing him, but you supposed James would notice and ask what all the fuss was about. He wasn't that dense.

You elected to change the subject. "Moony not coming this year?" James and Sirius sighed in unison.

"Nope. Burried his nose so deep in the library's books I'm worried he'll turn into one before we get back after the holidays." Sirius answered. You scoffed.

"Oh please, he's so prepared for our N.E.W.T.S next year, even McGonagall is telling him to give it a rest."

"I know!" Both the boys exclaimed in unison. "Where's Wormtail though?" James asked the reclining nuisance of a wizard taking up half the cabin. Sirius shrugged.

"Dunno. Says your mummy scares him. Decided to stay and 'keep Remus alive.' Whatever that means."

The train ride back to the Potter's was usually your favorite part of the holiday, but so close to Prongs, you might as well have burst into flames where you sat. "You okay, Y/n/n?" Your very oblivious crush asked.

"Yeah." You cleared your throat. "Yep, just fine Prongs." You squeaked. Black sniggered. You threw your shoe at him.

"Hey!"

°•°*°•°

It was an hour to midnight, an hour 'til Christmas and you were wandering the Potter house in the dead of night. The absence of sleep very obvious. You sighed as you found yourself, yet again, in the living room. You plodded over to the fireplace, where the dying embers crackled soothingly. You sank down with a thud and a heavy sigh, curling your blanket around you.

A dawning realization had struck you about 3 hours ago and it was churning your insides like sticky taffy, getting stuck in your every waking thought. You were in love with James Potter. This morning, mind you, you'd mearly thought you'd liked him and then he smiled at you- really smiled- and you knew.

And it was the most impossible thought you'd ever had. He loved someone else, someone much better than you. He maybe didn't deserve her, but he certainly had more of a shot with her than you did with him. He was your best friend! Loving him was like loving your pet Grindylow until it bites your hand off. You didn't want your friendship to be at stake, it was the last thing you wanted to think about, but here you were; thinking about it.

"Y/n?" Came his groggy voice from the stairs landing.

"Yeah Jamie?" Whoops, that just slipped out. Obviously he didn't notice because he came and sat beside you. You watched him rub the sleep from his eyes and yawn. He put his hands out in front of the fire and shuddered.

"It's bloody cold down here. Why're you still up?" You shrugged. Tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear. The firelight made his cheeks look redder than usual.

"Lots to think about. Why're you still up?" You mimicked. He glanced away.

"I've been thinking; there's this girl-"

"Yeah, yeah, Prongsy, Lily, the light of your life. Let's assume I've probably heard it before." You felt your heart tug painfully.

"When have you heard me talk about Evans like that?" He accused.

"Uhm, all these long, harrowing years that I've known you?" You shot back.

"Harrowing. Huh." He huffed. Looking affronted. You smiled at him softly. Bumping your shoulder against his.

"Sorry Jamie." It happened again, but you didn't really mind.

"See there you go again!" He shouted, standing up. You were following him before you knew it. Your blanket falling to the floor.

"Shh! Shh!" You pointed to the ceiling, warning him about waking his parents. He shook his head.

"You're bossing me around and it's driving me crazy!" He whisper-yelled. "You're- you're calling me these sweet little nicknames. You're brushing my hair out of my face, you're worried about me when I get hurt on the Pitch. And Merlin Y/n, the way you look at me..." He softened now, "The way you look at me just makes me..."

"Crazy?" You finished. Your heart was beating out of your chest. There was a glimmer of something there, but you couldn't let it be hope. He was looking at you dazedly through his square glasses, his hair ruffled and his lips softly parted. You could imagine the feel of them against yours.

He gulped. "Something like that." And then it clicked.

"In- in fourth year, when I'd just woken up in the hospital wing. I asked you, I asked you if you liked me or something, because you were acting so strangely... I just thought... but it was a joke!" You were whisper-yelling now. Frantic. "You replied and, and I didn't hear you... but you said that. You said-"

"Or something." You were both staring at each other. The tension so thick you couldn't cut it with a knife.

You shook your head. "You're in love with Evans!" He took a slow step towards you. "I'm not her, I could never be her. I wouldn't want to be."

"Good." He said as he reached you, he put a tender hand to your cheek. "Because I haven't thought about Lily Evans even half as much as I've ever thought about you. She couldn't hold a floating candle to you Y/n. Not in my head." The look in his eyes was so soft, so beseeching, that you just had to ask:

"Jamie, kiss me already?" And suddenly he was on you. His lips colliding with yours, melding into you. He felt so perfect, a piece of a puzzle snapping into place. He prodded your lips with his tongue, you eagerly obliged, your lips parting.

You both groaned into the kiss as he deepend it. You wrapped your arms around his neck, he leveraged your legs in his hands, guiding you to jump up and wrap your legs around his waist. You were just about to take his glasses off when-

"Bout bloody time. You know lovebirds, I couldn't stand one more bloody Christmas with you two pining after each other. I think Moony was going to implode if we had to see one more honey-eyed-"

"Sirius!" You both shouted. James let you out of his grasp, but he kept you firmly pinned to his chest.

"Sod off, you prat. We're busy." James growled.Padfoot waved an absent hand and turned to head back upstairs.

"Off I go. But Merry Christmas to the happy couple." He snickered. "Ooo, this is the best Christmas present ever! Those two back at Hogwarts are gonna be so mad!" He said with a singsong cheeriness that was much too righteous for 12 am. The clock struck midnight.

"Happy Christmas Y/n." James smiled at you warmly.

You kissed him again, running your hands through his tussled hair. "Merry Christmas Jamie." He picked you up again and you giggled at him. "You know what I want my Christmas present to be?"

"What, princess?" He asked with a lovesick smile.

"Be my boyfriend?" He beamed at you.

"Ask and you shall receive!" He threw you onto the couch, you shrieked and giggled as he followed suit. He shushed you, but it would be many hours before either of you were actually quiet.

°•°*°•°

A/n Yes! Okay, I know it's cannon divergent but I thought it was cute (and yes, probably getting hit square in the head with a bludger would blow your brain up, but I'm allowed some creative and magical liberties).

Requests/asks are open

Masterlist

[rechedeer]

Further proof of James's intelligence can be taken from this excerpt from The Half-Blood Prince:

"Harry barely understood half of what Professor McGonagall said to them these days; even Hermione had to ask her to repeat instructions once or twice."

even Hermione had some struggle in the subject at which James's wand (and therefore himself) excelled. From book one:

"Your father, on the other hand, favoured a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. A little more power and excellent for transfiguration. Well, I say your father favoured it — it's really the wand that chooses the wizard, of course."

OOH i love that, good catch, and yes exactly!!! i don’t know where this dense fanon james spawned from because there’s more than sufficient proof of him being exceptionally intelligent ���

“Yes, indeed,” said Lupin. “It took them the best part of three years to work out how to do it. Your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school, and lucky they were, because the Animagus transformation can go horribly wrong — one reason the Ministry keeps a close watch on those attempting to do it. Peter needed all the help he could get from James and Sirius. Finally, in our fifth year, they managed it. They could each turn into a different animal at will.”

James yawned hugely and rumpled up his hair, making it even messier than it had been. Then, with a glance toward Professor Flitwick, he turned in his seat and grinned at a boy sitting four seats behind him. [Towards the end of an exam, where we could see that other students were still writing somewhat anxiously, which suggests that James (and Sirius) would finish exams quicker and with more ease than others, and still score exceedingly well -> ]

“Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake,” he heard Sirius say. “I’ll be surprised if I don’t get Outstanding on it at least.” “Me too,” said James. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch.

“Now, yer mum an’ dad were as good a witch an’ wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an’ girl at Hogwarts in their day!” [So we know James was head boy at Hogwarts, despite his reputation as a troublemaker, which implies that he was unusually talented in other fields- academically, athletically]

moreover we know that he and sirius contributed to the making of the marauders map (imo they most probably created it (majorly) on their own, but that’s up for interpretation), which was very advanced magic

[chil-aglia]

I checked some and I feel instead of skipping episodes how about adding something instead. Maybe not the characters since they have episode with them involved but adding lore involve them.

For example

Raph's Ride-Along: Ronin might not be in present there, but there are Mud Dogs who clearly have with him. We can have a flashback (told by them to Raph) with their experience with Ronin. We can add stakes like aside of making them trying steal money and stuff they would wanna get revenge on Ronin by taking his 'boyfriend' as hostage. There is gonna be argument about who that boyfriend might be because one thinks it might be Adriaen while the other thinks it might be Leo, and the third (Loathsome Leonard, duh) suggest to kidnap both, much to Raph's horror (there are some mentions/references of Porta-Jacked, Mystic Library, the original episode where Adri is kidnapped and Ronin and Leo are going to rescue him from a mafia lion, any episode that involves these three). So Raph not only has to stop criminals from stealing and clear his name, but also protect his brothers and friend from kidnappers who definitely have grudge on Ronin. Not knowing that also the police are after Leo and Adriaen be cause their connection to Ronin.

Donnie vs. Witch Town: just like with Raph's Ride-Along we also gonna mention Ronin. Donnie and April might mention Ronin's name to Gentry and she might shares some history since she's also Ronin's friend, maybe some childhood. Maybe we can also learn about Adriaen's past like his immunity against poison. I'm sure Draxum visited Witch Town many times for his research. I'm also kinda curious if Ronin is in good terms with Witch Town unlike Donnie. Maybe this is where he got summoning sword. Also after getting arrested they learn from Raph that Leo and Adriaen are in trouble because of their connection to Ronin. Ronin is also in trouble naturally. So yeah we are getting angst involved there.

Hidden City's Most Wanted: not much to add. Except there is moment I would like add where Draxum is taking to cell some cop says that's not Draxum, as they recalled a certain turtle calling himself Baron Draxum (a small reference to Portal-Jacked). And also introducing a character, an Inspector with persona of Inspector Koichi Zenigata or Ginzo Nakamori that would work well in contrast to Ronin's persona of Lupin the Third/Kaito Kid. You know the classic of competent/incompetent inspector obsessed catching an elusive thief by any means. Which means dragging poor Leo and Adri into a mess.

Bad Hair Day: at the end of episode instead of put in cell with others Leo and Adriaen are dragged into interrogation room in presence of that inspector who knows that these are the persons who can help to catch Ronin. Thankfully they won't tell anything (yes even Leo. He might not like Ronin, but he's not a snitch. You know the whole 'snitches get stitches' line.), but the inspector pull photos of them involved with Ronin including of them being held in Ronin's arms much to their shock, confusion and embarrassment. Inspector might pull a dirty by 'threatening' one of them for the other to spill beans about Ronin's whereabouts, but he has no opportunity as Mikey shows up as lawyer to get them from that crazy inspector while Ronin shows up as distraction to get away while 'disproving' having connections with those two, clearing Leo and Adri from suspicion. (This is actually inspired from a scene Where in the World is Neon Leon?, highly recommend this fic)

I call it

Hidden City Tales: The Hunt at Ronin special

What do you think?

Woh I love that—

I had no idea what to include for those eps since I was gonna have Ronin in the episode with Draxum, Mikey and Splinter and Adriaen with Leo. But that’s about it—

I’ll def think about these for sure!

[randomspagetti]

WatcherCao RoleSwap!Au

OKAY SO- I got really carried away so y'all are getting a lot of art and lore ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. Here's a rehash of the story.

(Second Watcher is called Coffee Roll (CR sometimes for short))

Pre-Canon

Cacao, after realizing what happened to GCs kingdom, grows fearful of him kingdom and his citizens getting hurt because DE wants his souljam, so he goes missing for a century, hiding out on the DL until anyone who'd remember his face is dead.

He starts picking up jobs helping his kingdom, switching up where he works every two decades so nobody catches on. Around this time he's moved to the citadel as an upkeeper. He's in the lower staff when the witches give him his son. Because he's not flooded with work, and has more free time he's actually a good dad and Choco doesn't look for the cursed sword.

Choco is appointed first watcher and Coffee Roll is appointed king because the previous one croaked. (Being king is now a ranked position like the watchers) Time passes and Cacao is moved up to the higher upkeeper positions, Caramel, Choco, and Affo grow close, and Coffee Roll starts to realize there's more to his Upkeeper than meets the eye.

Woo big suprise Affo is a jerk who got close to the kings daughter (caramel) to be able to manipulate CR.

Broken Walls Arc

CR is becoming more pressured and stressed out by the amount of work he has. (affo making it worse so he's more temperamental) Cacao keeps trying to get through to him, realizing that affogato's intentions aren't as pure hearted as he presents. This puts strain on their relationship due to affogato painting Cao in a negative light to Coffee Roll.

Affo starts doing his usual shenanigans like turning away people who come to the citadel in need, pushing distrust in CR to the watchers. Caramel starts to notice exactly what her friend is doing, but it's too late for her to convince anyone of the truth. During this time, she finds being around her father intolerable because he refuses to listen. (Putting faith in the wrong person you bozo 😒)

This strengthens Caramel and Cacao's relationship, due to mutual understanding. Wooo to big day comes, the whole thing with COD takes place, and Coffee Roll is on the receiving end of a murder attempt by Affogato and a giant mf licorice monster. Cacao realizing that's something is going on at the wall rushes over and sees what's happening. Caramel helps protect the other watchers there while our boi Cao rushes to CRs aid. (Choco is on his way over, but he has quite a way to go)

Cacao, unarmed takes his souljam that Coffee Roll was wielding and with a glancing blow, knocks the licorice monster over the wall

At this point everyone is amazed and confused. "HOW TF DID HE DO THAT???!!" well you'll never guess who snitched; his souljam. Coffee Roll has noticed it randomly glowing at weird intervals for months now. ...almost like a compass?

Let's just leave it at Cacao has a damn lot to explain, Coffee Roll is both shocked, upset, and somewhat smitten, and Affo is going to be eating prison food for a while.

-

That's all I have so far! This au was really fun, here's some extra art!

I never got to coloring Caramel because I had one before that one and I hated it so I gave up

(before you ask "oh what about the gingerbrave group?" They found their way to the citadel, albeit a lot slower due to not having Caramel)

[lupiinee]

things i want more from the wizarding world bc jkr sucks at fucking world building

where are the museums? where are the heritage centres? witchcraft and wizardry has been around for thousands of years, where's all the artifacts and history stored

you can just??? walk into a trade once you graduate??? where's the apprenticeships?? where's the hogwarts-to-careers pathway?? where's the gap years? where's the studying abroad??

field trips? not once did any of the professors think that learning would be better out in the real world? think about snape teaching the kids to gather ingredients and how to make a bare bones potion in the wild. or remus showing natural habitats of creatures?

hogsmede being the only wizarding village is dumb as shit. especially when most wizards cannot understand muggle lifestyles at all - like are you telling me most wizards are in muggle towns and NO ONE questions them not knowing what a car is?

on that note - why is muggle studies not MANDATORY for all witches/wizards??? if they're going to live amongst them why is it an elective course?? if you're going to end up marrying a muggle you need to know the by-laws of showing off magic surely???

quidditch being the only sport that is played is dumb as fuck. especially if it can be over in less than 5 minutes if the seeker gets the snitch

why are these people giving wands to 11 year olds and expecting them to take them seriously??? if i had a wand at the age of 13 years old BEST BELIEVE i'm murking my bullies. nah you should be getting your wand after you graduate or at the very least, not have it with you outside of class???

what were children of wizarding families doing prior to hogwarts? surely they can't be all in private tutoring?? the weasleys wouldn't have the money for that for a start and what happens if they turn out to be a squib and can't read or write and don't have basic math comprehension before the age of 11???

are we seriously expected to believe that wizarding children from dufftown scotland are expected to travel all the way down to london to catch an 11am train to take them back up to scotland. like do they not stop at edinburgh and aberdeen first? like???

on that note, surely EDINBURGH the most HAUNTED PLACE IN THE UK would be a peak wizarding community. like surely they have their own subsect of shops and society.

there's an average of 280 students at hogwarts at any given time ( 5 male students x 5 female students x 7 years = 70 x 4 houses = 280 ) that is a DANGEROUSLY LOW wizarding population for tom riddle to be murking people left right and centre and not being noticed so fudge has NO EXCUSE

azkaban is dumb. i will not elaborate.

actuallY NO I WILL ELABORATE!! so people go to azkaban for serious crimes right?? do you get sent for like?? tax evasion??? do you get sent for illegal gambling?? what about keeping an illegal animal??? surely they can't all go to azkaban??? for all eternity amongst death eaters and literal child murderers??? what the heck???

how DOES the wizarding world taxation process work??? do they take into account you working in a muggle career??? how is the ministry funded??? do they have their own subsect from the UK government??? thats a dangerous relationship!

why is the minister of magic not included in discussions of parliament?? issues that could clearly cause issues for the wizarding world would be something he needs to know about like a little thing called brexit??? the european union??? other parliamentary members would need to know who they are and what they're doing there surely???

what about wizarding holidays??? are there travel companies??? how did the weasleys get over to egypt without passports??? they couldn't have used floo or apparate. was there a service ensuring they got there???

280 students crammed into a castle for 9 months out of the year and only 3rd years and up get to go to hogsmede? give them dances. give them entertainment and clubs and spirit weeks and shit like that. give them non-uniform days and movie days.

[hed-romancer]

the owl house is about being in fandom

i watched all of the owl house recently with a friend who isn't/has never been really in fandom and hasn't read fanfiction. and their reactions really made me realize, the owl house as a show is about being in fandom. it's about a fangirl and made for people in fandom and can't be fully understood if you aren't involved in fan culture.

from the start, our main-pov character luz is so obviously a fangirl. she loves azura, gets extremely into making her book report on it accurate, and refers to the boiling isles as being "not a g-rated fantasy world". she keeps referring to things as though they were from a story, which would come across as breaking the fourth wall if it weren't how any fan would be speaking in her shoes.

but then, not only does luz refer to the boiling isles like how she'd refer to fictional story, but the owl house itself clearly references other fictional fantasy worlds. Hexside references Hogwarts and winning a grudgy match is done by catching a "rusty smidge" (clearly parodying a golden snitch). Hooty's Moving Hassle is a direct play off of Howl's Moving Castle.

The show also deconstructs tropes in these other fantastical fictional worlds. In season 1 episode 2, Luz falls for a chosen one scam, and learns that destiny isn't something that can just be given, it has to be chosen. In the finale, Luz ends up dead/in-between worlds and is asked by the Titan whether she chooses herself to be the one to defeat Philip. This is the moral of the show- that no one is destined to do anything, that you just have to choose to do the right thing when you have the option to.

TOH also gets into some of the more social aspects of being a teenage fangirl. In episode one, Katya is imprisoned because she writes fanfiction about food falling in love, and that's not accepted by the rigid emperor, so she's sent to the conformatorium (and isn't that how it is- you write something fun that you enjoy and doesn't hurt anyone, and people call you weird and expect you to conform to what they think you should be?). Luz herself is also expected to conform when she's sent away to Reality Check Summer Camp.

Contrasting to that, at one point in season 2's Yesterday's Lie, Luz becomes worried as Vee goes up to other teenagers, afraid that she's going to get mocked for being strange, only to find out that Vee is friends with these kids and these kids are strange themselves. On one hand, Luz ditching summer camp and going to the boiling isles is how she finds friends; on the other, vee going to camp and interacting with other people who were also sent to camp is how she finds friends. (it reminds me of how in high school, i befriended all the other weirdos even when we were weird about completely different things, but when i went to college i found people who were more specifically like me, and both are amazing!)

to conclude, luz is a very amazing example of fangirl joy. she starts out the show as a fangirl, and ends the show as a fangirl with friends, and more family than she had before. she starts out falling for being called a chosen one, and ends up choosing herself. she starts preforming a monologue as the good witch azura, warrior of peace, and finishes with proclaiming herself the good witch luz, warrior of peace, and customizing the dialogue to fit her. still a fangirl through and through.

[pooks]

If someone were to ask Percy what his mental picture of a big sister figure was, he would answer with one name.

Cassidy Mercury.

He didn't meet her officially until he was in his second year, when Bill and Charlie introduced him to their friend. She was a new prefect, like Charlie, and she was probably the prettiest girl he had ever seen.

Her hair was styled in a short haircut with parted bangs and golden like sunshine. The eyes were green as ripe pears and her skin was fair, decorated with a calm yet reassuring smile.

There was just something about her that kept his nerves calm, as if she was telling him "everything will be alright because I am here" in a non-verbal way. And the first thing she had said when he told his name and his life ambitions in one go was...

"Sounds like you have your whole life planned out."

No teasing or mocking, like his brothers tended to do. No laughing at his extremely high standards of a successful life. No, she listened and respected him. That was the first thing that won him over.

Secondly, she proved to be an excellent and talented student. Cassidy was really good at academics and as he later found out, one of the best Chasers on the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

He had originally come to see Charlie, and his dorm mate Oliver Wood, play on the first Quidditch match of the year. He had already known that Charlie was a great Seeker and Oliver was a raw talent as a Keeper, but Cassidy...

She was magnificent in the air, flying on her Comet and stealing the Quaffle with ease, evading her opponents like how a fly avoids being hit by a slipper and making goals with a strong left arm. And how the stands filled with Gryffindors screamed in loud cheers for her.

Charlie may be the Quidditch Captain, but Cassidy Mercury was their star! Even when Oliver was down, getting hit in the head by a Bludger (and nearly gave him a heart attack!), Cassidy became their savior by making so many goals and with Charlie catching the Snitch, earning them 150 points more...they had saved the match.

It has been a long time since Percy believed in heroes. Yes, he knew there were war heroes from the War, but he didn't know them and in his simple opinion, heroes was something that belonged in fairy tales or fictional stories.

But when the school was in danger by the Cursed Vaults...when students and even school staff were being attack by these curses...when Rakepick proved to be a Dark witch and especially, when his life was at mortal danger...

Cassidy Mercury was there to save the day.

She was his hero.

[hd-wireless]

📻🎶 H/D WIRELESS 2023 - WEEKLY WRAP-UP #3

The third week of posting has come to an end! Enjoy catching up with this week's selection of wonderful works. 

There's a work for everyone in this fest (and if you haven't found what you're looking for yet, we're far from done with posting).

As always you can listen to the prompted songs for the works we post on two playlists:  

Click here for Spotify (many thanks to @evaeleanor for helping us out there) ❤️

And here for the YouTube playlist.

Please enjoy this week’s entries below the cut:

🎶 H/D Wireless Art 🎶

📻 Your Heart's a Mess [G, Pencil & Copic markers]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Hearts A Mess' by 'Gotye' 🎵 Summary: Hogwarts eighth year. Malfoy, visibly scarred (from Sectumsempra? from the war? from his treatment by the Ministry?) and visibly heavy-hearted (from regret? from his father's imprisonment? from how the other students torment him?) has driven Harry to distraction. It's 6th year all over again: he was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy. How he wishes the feeling was mutual.

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic and Art 🎶

📻 Waking Up Slow [E, 21,886, Digital Art]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'The Christmas Song' by 'The Raveonettes' 🎵 Summary: 'Twas the night before Christmas, although it’s July, Draco’s a shopkeeper, no-one knows why, There’s hiking and witch caves, freak snowfalls and more, Bad Christmas jumpers, nosy neighbours galore, Narcissa’s here too, but… something’s amiss, And what’s in those chocolates that’s making them kiss?

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic 🎶

📻 Burst of Love [E, 3,805]

🎵 Song Prompt: Jealous by Nick Jonas 🎵 Summary: The year after the War is both the worst and best one in Harry and Draco's lives. Draco somehow becomes one of the most requested influencer on Instagram, Harry is finally free and discovers he has quite...a passion inside himself. We all know how this is going to end.

📻 Rich Friend [E, 1,130]

🎵 Song Prompt: Rich Friends by Portugal. The Man 🎵 Summary: As far as Harry can tell, Draco Malfoy is still rich as hell. He’s just not a wizard anymore. Featuring: Draco Malfoy trying to make it as a Muggle pop star, Harry Potter as our confused and horny hero, bad driving, good music, and the mysterious magic of falling for someone.

📻 Seven Days, Seven Memories [E, 25,668]

🎵 Song Prompt: Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths 🎵 Summary: In a universe somewhere, deep down in the Department of Mysteries, behind Door 13, Unspeakable Draco Malfoy, can be usually found. Except Malfoy is nowhere to be found when Harry goes looking for him. What he finds instead is a Pensieve and a box full of memories

📻 so scarlet it was [E, 19,932]

🎵 Song Prompt: Maroon - Taylor Swift 🎵 Summary: Draco’s back for his Eighth Year as part of his parole. He’s doing his best not to annoy any war heroes and avoid Harry Potter as if his life depends on it. Too bad Harry has other ideas. 

📻 A Pureblood's Guide to Driving and Apostasy [E, 9,218]

🎵 Song Prompt: I'm On Fire by Bruce Springsteen 🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy should be happy - he's engaged to a suitable young lady, chosen by his father, and on the way to restoring the family name. Except he isn't happy at all. That is, until Pansy (or is it fate?) brings him to a magical garage where his whole worldview is set on fire.

📻 Snitches & Sitches [T, 4,565]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Once Upon a December' by 'Liz Callaway' 🎵 Summary: After a Quidditch accident, Harry's life turns upside down when he suffers a case of retrograde amnesia. Surrounded by people and places he should remember, Harry must cope with his slow recovery, all the while feeling like there's something very familiar about the blond with gray eyes who keeps wistfully staring at him.

📻 Can't Get You Out of My Head [E, 26,343]

🎵 Song Prompt: Can't Get You Out of My Head by Kylie Minogue 🎵 Summary: Draco was quite fine with his own company, thank you very much. So, when a potions’ accident left him unable to rid his head of Harry Potter’s infernal internal monologue, Draco was less than thrilled. He was, however, an internationally educated Potioneer; he could find an antidote without having to admit to Potter the access he’d had to his thoughts…actions…personal life…personal time…right?

📻 Sod Off Potter [T, 1,787]

🎵 Song Prompt: Sod Off Potter by Rattlebones 🎵 Summary: So sod off Potter Will you say what you want? Sod off Potter Will you say what you want is me? Potter please ↳ Sod Off Potter - Rattlebones Draco regretted the decision to return to Hogwarts after the war. Why couldn't bloody Potter just leave him alone? It wouldn't be so bad if Draco hadn't been harboring a secret crush on Harry for years.

🎶 H/D Wireless Podfic 🎶

📻 [Podfic] You Are Not Alone [, 1:49:56]

🖋️ Original author: Juh_Nunes 🎵 Song Prompt: Sorry - Halsey 🎵 Summary: Orginal Summary: Draco dreaded going back to Hogwarts after the war. He was sure this would be his worst year yet: the school hated him, the Slytherins have abandoned him, and his dorm was overrun with Gyffindors. There was no way anything good could come out of this mess, right?

[dhr-deleted]

If you have more complete versions to share please send them my way.

A kind follower has sent me a bunch of deleted fics. I was already feeling overwhelmed with the amount of fic to add -- now I am really drowning in it.

I'm half-way through Raffy's smut vault, and I already have a pile of fics to made epubs for it.

2024 March - Uploaded

AnEmptyPromise - Perfection, Pull Me Away, Time Is A Fickle Thing, Spider's Web

BareWithMeHoney - The Argument, Guilt(y), Ritual, Song of Seven Deaths

DMHP2014 - Inescapable

Fictionismyescape - Beautiful Life, Beautiful Mess, The Beginning of Something Special, Black Velvet Dreams, Bleed for Her, Broken Arrow, Broken Road, Changing Times, He Knew, In the Dark, It All Started with a Drink, It's a Beautiful Ride, Little Moments, Lunch Break, Matter of Time, The One with All the Stories, Pieces of Me, Praise Me, Priority One, Since We’re Both Here, Stairs, Chairs and Broom Closets, Stolen World, Way Down We Go

Flossiewrites - Delicious Desires

gillianeliza - Mon Couteau Aiguise (My Sharp Knife)

gloivy - Draco Malfoy Must Not Die, How to Catch Snitches and Get Witches, The Light on a Starless Night

honeysweetcutie (starlightwriting) - Golden Lines

LaRoseNoire - The Mating Dance, Lessons and Revelations

Leviosaaa - Sleeps The Crimson Petal

LitheLies - Threadbare

peanutbrittles123 - devotion

Secret Nom de Plume - Catalyst, Illusion of Happiness, The Third Time is the Charm, We'll Be Together

thebrightcity - An Inconvenience, Between Us Flows the Nile

TurquoiseMonkey - Splinched

Trixie_d - You Bastard

WaitTilMyFatherHearsAboutThis (BuckMeBarnes) - Harry, The Survivors

wassco (ScoutCassidy) - Drabbles, Generosity, The Inquisitors

[growling]

There was eleven of us, we lived in the lake... For breakfast, mother cut wind, I didn't know my father, as he perished of liver cancer, when he died in a tragic car accident, after self-immolation at uncle Eugeniusz's name day party. Uncle Eugeniusz was taken by the NKVD in '59. No one complained.

We were all part of hordes and plundered the area. Konin, Szczecin and Oslo were in flames. We also played in construction sites. Sometimes one of us got hit with a reinforced slab, sometimes not. Whenever our foot got impaled with a stray nail, mother cut it off and said with a smile, "you, kurna, got another one, yeah?" She didn't tremble with fear that we're gonna kill each other like that. She knew that we're all going to die eventually. No one complained.

Seasonal diseases were fought by grandma. To combat tuberculosis, scurvy, tumors and polio, we used urine and moss. The doctor visited us, unless at grandma's - for the moss and urine. We went to the woods whenever we wanted. We ate berries, which were previously pissed on by foxes and roe deer. We ate death caps, which were defecated on by rabid bisons and martens. We didn't have hamburgers - we ate wolves. We didn't have chips - we ate ants. There wasn't coca-cola back then, there was bear saliva. There was frog period blood. No one complained.

Whenever our neighbor caught us stealing apples, he punished us himself. Lime pit, knife, hunting rifle - it varied. The neighbor didn't get offended over the stolen apples, and neither did father over replacement in parenting duties. Father and the neighbor drank beer in the evening - as always. Then father came back home, and on his way he took another child. Children then were littered everywhere. On lawns, in drainage ditches, by bus stops, under trees. Just like how today are littered candy bar wrappers. There weren't candy bars back then, but children were laying everywhere. No one complained.

During summer, we climbed on top of the skyscrapers, and weren't monitored by adults. We jumped. Nobody, however, got splattered on the pavement. Everyone could fly and no one needed any special lessons in order to learn this skill. No one also complained.

During winter, some father arranged us a sleigh ride with his old fiat, and always sped up during turns. Sometimes the sleds got caught against the trees or fences. Then we fell. Sometimes that moment a jelcz or star drove by. Then we died. No one complained.

Bruises and scrapes were a normal occurence. Just like knocked out teeth, ripped open stomachs, sudden lack of an eye or amateur amputations. The school pedagogue didn't send us to the family psychologist because of that. Nobody informed us how to dial a number to the police (then MO) to snitch on our parents. The belt was then a teaching aid, and from aid, nobody had yet died from. Aunt Janinka repeated, "better a spanking than breakfast". No one complained.

We made ourselves soups from mazut, asbestos and Ludwik. We also ate crack, fingernails of strangers, animal remains, sandpaper, chemical fertilizers, thistles, aphids, cow fetuses, fish feces, kogel-mogel. When somebody got stung by a bee, they drank 2 glasses of milk and pressed it with a cold frying pan. When somebody choked, they drank 3 glasses of milk and pressed it with a heated frying pan. No one complained.

Nobody went to the dentist every month. Cavities are tasty. Whenever someone swole from an aching tooth, we played catch with their head. We had one dental filling for the eleven of us. Everyone wore it for 2-3 days in a month. No one complained.

We were young and tough. We refused car rides. We just ran after it. Our dog was tied to the trailer hitch with a steel stable and ran next to us. And no one was bothered by it. No one complained.

We were raised by gamekeepers, old witches, escaped prisoners, collegues from juvie, janitors and priests. Our mothers birthed our siblings normally - at work, in reedbeds or at the balcony. Almost all of us survived, only some of us didn't go to prison. No one finished studies, but everyone found work. Some of them started their own families and are raising their children according to psychologists' recommendations. That's sad. Currently, there is more candy bars than children.

We, the children from our lake, love our parents for how they then didn't yet know how to "properly" raise us. It is thanks to them that we spent our childhood without sweets, respect, a warm dinner, sense, and some - limbs.

No one complained.

[gloivy]

Hello, I feel like it must be annoying to get questions like "WHEN are you going to update? "

I am asking because you left a note in chapter 6 of How to catch snitches and get witches that you'll update sometime this month, I'm just curious if you'll update soon or it might be later in August?

And, how many chapters did you plan for this fic?

And lastly sorry if you've already answered this but how is the writing process for you, do you plan everything in details... how much far along you go in writing chapters before you start posting a fic?

helloooooo!!!

soooo the next chapter of How to Catch Snitches and Get Witches is just slightlyyyyy delayed because i decided to rewrite parts of the chapter. it just wasn’t flowing or working in the way i wanted it to, so i’m currently jigging it up a bit! this chapter is one i’ve been excited about for a loooooong time, so naturally i want to make sure it’s perfect! timeframe on when it will be posted: soon! in the next week kind of soon!

i have 16 chapters planned for this fic! which, i know, doesn’t sound like a lot, but the plot is really going to be picking up in the next couple of chapters so expect them to start getting longer!

the writing process for me varies a lot! with Snitches, initially it was only meant to be a one shot, so i didn’t really do any planning at first! i actually started writing it on a stream in a discord server - totally pantsing the whole thing, working only off the title i had and the idea that Draco Malfoy has published an autobiography, and Hermione Granger hates it. i quickly finished the first chapter and realised - this needs to be more than a oneshot. and it was then, after having already written chapter one, that i actually sat down and planned out the whole thing.

i really went into a lot of detail while planning Snitches, because i knew i wanted each chapter to tell it’s own “story” outwith the main plot, and to have each of them end with a book/letter addressed to Hermione. but beyond that, i had to figure out each characters’ motivations, and layer in the mystery of what is in that fucking book?! it was quite a process! and by the end of it i had a very lengthy plan of the entire fic, chapter by chapter, bullet-points falling out of the arse end of the document hahaha.

as for how far ahead i write before i begin posting…… i think i was about 3 chapters ahead when i started posting snitches, but now i am posting as i write. i didn’t stay ahead of myself for long *cries*

thanks for the ask!

[alexandersimpleton]

Freaks like me

What if the CPC met Frederick earlier.

And what if they accidentally ableisted him half to death

As Frederick stumbled down the hill, he wondered why he was doing this. Gwen- she was terrifying. She was probably a witch and yet...Whatever. He just.. wanted to talk to her again. That was all.

And then he emerged into a clearing full of.. princesses? His instincts screamed at him to run for the hills, but they did that with anyone who reminded Frederick of Them in any capacity, so he pushed on anyways.

"Oh! A guest!" One with blue hair said. "Welcome to the Cosmopolitan Princess Conservatorium. Please, take a seat."

Why was there school in the middle of the woods? That actually seemed on trend, now that he thought about it.

He sat down, his familiar mantra playing in his head. Just do what they say, and no one gets hurt.

It worked sometimes.

"So, Frederick, why did you come here?" Nevermind, his feelings were justified.

"How do you know my name?" Frederick scooted back in his seat. No no no no no, they were just like Them! He had fallen into their trap! His chest flared up with that all too familiar fear from his time There. But he calmed himself down with a few deep breaths. The princesses didn't notice through their stuttering (like a bully when you catch them-). It was a skill Frederick had been forced to master so he didn't ruin parties and get beaten by Blaine and his father.

"It doesn't matter." Frederick interrupted them. He tried to take a sip of his tea, but immediately could tell that it had been spiked. (Stop- hyperventilating-) "could you just show me the way out? I don't know why I even came here." The boy expertly hid his adrenaline under faux awkwardness.

The princesses looked at each other, and they smiled.

"Yep, right this way!" They all shoved him out of the forest. "So long sir, it's been a pleasure to meet you- oh come on!" And then Frederick got a blow to his cheek.

From on the floor, he looked back at the princesses. Their facades were gone, and even Frederick could tell what they were.

He tried to run while they were distracted, but it was a vain. One with lobster claws pinned him to a tree.

Frederick couldn't hide his hyperventilating anymore. He was right he was right! They were- he couldn't- they- why-

His brain couldn't generate a coherent thought. All he could feel was the fear, begging him to run, to fight, to do anything!

He vaguely registered calling them monsters. They responded with something else-

And then it all went away in an instant. This was how it always went. He was still hyperventilating. He didn't really care. He was so tired.

"Please don't hurt me..." It was quite. Like he was trying to put the bare minimum energy into talking.

"Wow, chill kid. We don't want to hurt you."

"But I want to punch you in the throat!" One piped up. Frederick flinched away.

The woman sighed. "But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep you from snitching about this place. And you seem to have a real problem keeping your mouth shut."

"Huh? What are you talking about?" No he didn't. He kept tons of secrets. He hadn't told a soul about his family beating him, he could even hide secrets from himself with help from Blaine.

"I'm talking about the little comment you made about Gwen."

Frederick tilted his head.

"You called her ugly you moron!" The girl from earlier (with the green hair) yelled at him. He flinched away again, expecting a blow that never came.

"Yeah? What was so wrong about that?" He asked. He wasn't being sarcastic

The entire club flinched away in disgust.

"What was so- What is wrong with you!?" The boy exclaimed. "Oh my God, do you seriously not even know!? Are all your friends as awful as you!?

Another one piped up "Jeez, the world really would be better off without you."

Frederick looked away, a bit of embarrassment in his eyes. "I don't really have friends."

"Well maybe" the one with blue hair said "if you just tried to be nice to people, than you'd have actual friends."

His demeanor shifted in an instant. His fingers clasped the tree he was pinned to as a white hot rage filled the void his panic attack had created. It festered, black and slimy.

"If I just tried?" It burst into flames all in an instant, red and hot and burning, begging just to get at this woman and leave nothing but ash.

"If I just tried!? You have no idea how hard I've tried!" He was practically screaming now. "I've tried so hard, for so many years, just to get someone, anyone to like me! 'maybe if it be nice and just take it', 'maybe if I'm meaner', but no! It was never, ever enough!" He pried the lobster claws away from his neck. "Oh, I'm so sorry that some of us can't read people like you can! I'm so sorry that some of us have to hide in libraries at parties because it gets too loud!" He shoved away the other princesses, and grabbed the wrist of the one with the blue hair. "I'm so sorry that some of us have to take tutoring to get how to read a face!" He was crying "I'm so sorry that some of us have to work so much harder to communicate and understand people, and still end up miserable and alone because we're just that messed up!"

He pulled her down by the collar, looking the woman dead in the eyes as he screamed "Maybe the world would be better off without retarded freaks like me!"

And just like that, he was gone. The boy ran into the woods. He would find his own way home. He smashed sticks and leaves under his feet as he ran, pulling his hair, and biting his arms to keep from screaming. But the anger subsided. His run slowed to a walk, slowed to nothing. Slowly, lazily, he sat under a formation of rocks, hiding himself in the shade. He hid his face in his sleeves and sobbed into them, like a child.

The CPC looked at each other. "We messed up, didn't we?" Prez nodded.

And then came the shattering of a plate as someone rushed past them. It was Gwen, running into the woods as fast as she could go.

Gwen followed the footprints. She can't believe the CPC would do something like that...

She needed to find Frederick. Even if he would never fall in love with her, she still didn't want him to feel bad.

And the footprints stopped rather far out. Frederick was there, under some rocks. He was crying.

The girl joined him, being sure not to get in his space until he noticed her. He flinched back a little, but wasn't as tense as she remembered him being last time.

"What are you doing here?"

"I saw you run off crying."

"Oh."

...

"I can leave if you want. I just figured I'd make sure you're okay. I don't think you've been in this forest before."

Frederick looked like he was about to shoo her off, but he changed his mind.

She sat next to him under the rocks.

"Did you.. hear what I said about you?"

Gwen nodded.

"You weren't.. you weren't hurt by it, right?"

Gwen opened her mouth. And she closed it. "No, you didn't hurt me." She lied.

"I just figured that bottling up emotions was bad, so I should let it all out where I couldn't hurt you. I didn't even consider you might.. God, I really am an idiot..." The boy chuckled, tears still fresh on his voice

"You're not an idiot." Gwen mumbled.

"Gwen, I'm literally retarded."

Her father had used that word on occasion. He had gotten a few nasty looks, but just a few. Less than most swear words.

"What.. does that word even mean?"

"Huh? Did your father never.."

Gwen shook her head.

"It means.. mentally disabled. But people usually use it to mean stupid. Like, 'you're so stupid there must be something wrong with your head'."

Gwen didn't like this word.

"I think the real word for it is autism or something."

...

"Why are you doing this? I mean, really?"

"Huh?"

"You can't just be doing this to help me. I can't read social cues, I can't separate fantasy from reality, I can't stand too much noise or smell or anything.. no one would actually want to help someone so defective."

"Well, you don't seem defective. I think I like autistic Frederick better."

His eyes widened and his head shot in her direction. A few more tears brimmed them. Had she done something creepy again?

But Frederick made it clear she hadn't. He moved closer, and he hugged her tight. "Thank you."

Gwen smiled.

Frederick was snapped out of it by a crash of lightning. He separated from Gwen, blushing profusely.

They both looked outside to find rain. Thunder rang through the air, and flashes of light lit up the sky.

"Eep!" The boy squealed at the sound. He covered his ears. "Crap, it's raining hard... Did- did you come out her because of me? I'm sorry I-"

"Frederick, it's alright. I'm sure the CPC wouldn't-" another flash of lightning. Flash. Die in a-

No. No no no- she never thought it could be her! Was she gonna get struck by lightning!? Was she gonna bring Frederick down with her!?

A tall, intimidating man burst through the thicket. Surprisingly, Frederick didn't flinch back.

"Huh? Aren't you the guy that taught me how to meditate? What are you doing here?"

"I heard rustling and talking. I wanted to make sure no one was in danger."

"I, uhm, I don't think we can make it back to the castle in this weather actually..." Frederick told the man.

"There's a building near here. It's a clubhouse, and the ladies in there would probably let you stay. Should I-"

"The CPC! Yes, please take us to them." The man nodded, hoisting both of them on his shoulders like they were potato sacks. He didn't see anything odd about this.

Soon after they left, Gwen saw a bolt of lightning crash where they had been sitting. Frederick was too busy talking with Whitney to notice.

A knock on the door sounded. A princess opened it with tears in her eyes. Said eyes widened.

"Gwen! You're okay!" The club all flocked around Gwen. Whitney placed the two down, standing Frederick up on his feet as the club dragged Gwen inside.

Gods, Frederick hated people like them. People who claimed to be forgiving, but make one mistake and they cut you off like a tumor. The kind of people that claim to be inclusive, but when someone proves to be just a bit too different they condescend them like the people they claim to hate. This club reminded him a lot of his family.

"Y'know, maybe I would have been better off in the forest." Whitney was taken back by the venom in his tone. He hadn't seen Frederick much, but he seemed like the kind of kid that wasn't easy to piss off.

A few of the group members tackled him in a hug. "We're soooooooorry!" They sobbed. Frederick looked at them, confused. "We just- I just- and you- we were wroooooong!"

"You know what?" One with brown hair and a long nose said. "We have drinks. We have tables. Apology party!" Frederick was dragged in by the CPC, his resistance in vain.

Whitney stood awkwardly for a moment. "Anyways," he tried to leave, but shared Frederick's fate.

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Soukoku Potterverse AU Pt. One Dazai Osamu

Here’s everyone’s ages for reference

(Year 7: 17 - 18)

(Year 6: 16 - 17)

(Year 5: 15 - 16) Ranpo, Yosano

(Year 4: 14 - 15) Chuuya, Dazai, Kunikida

(Year 3: 13 - 14) Akutagawa siblings, Tachihara, Tanazaki siblings

(Year 2: 12 - 13) Atsushi

(Year 1: 11 - 12) Kenji, Kyouka

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Information about wand cores & woods from The Unofficial Ultimate Harry Potter Spellbook and Harry Potter Wiki Fandom.

Dazai:

Basically Fukumori’s child

Fukuzawa and Mori are the co-heads of Hogwarts in this AU

Fukuzawa is the head of Ravenclaw House

Mori is the head of Slytherin

Blood Status: Pureblood (has Veela ancestry on his mother’s side)

House: Slytherin

He was a hatstall.

It took him nearly six minutes to be sorted.

Not because he was difficult to place but because there were just so many thoughts for the hat to sort through.

Wand Wood: Elder (wands of this wood are the most rare and are notoriously difficult to master. They often choose remarkable masters.)

Wand Core: Thestral hair (It’s regarded as an unstable, if not the most difficult, substance to use in wand-making. It’s potent, but a tricky core to master; only a witch or wizard who was capable of accepting death can do so.)

Length: 12 inches (30.48 cms)

Flexibility: Fairly pliable

Patronus: Thestral (his happy memory is when he met Chuuya)

Extra Ability: legilimency (ability to peer into a person’s thoughts and memories without their consent or knowledge) Also an animgus.

Speciality: Dark Arts, hexes and spells requiring precision and focus (particularly non verbal and wandless magic)

Just me over here, pushing the deaf Dazai agenda

Deaf Dazai does almost all of his spells non verbally although he can talk a bit

Favourite subject: Defence Against the Dark Arts

Very intelligent but doesn’t brag about it

Only answers if professors call on him

Hates studying but always gets good marks (this annoys Chuuya to no end)

Never participates in Flying Class, he just reads his suicide manual or taunts Chuuya.

Wasn’t allowed to participate in Flying Class after he tried to hang himself from a broom he suspended in mid air. He got detention for a month

Chuuya also got detention for egging him on.

They got in a fight and both ended up in the infirmary.

Later was picked for the slytherin team after his true aptitude for flying was shown

He stole a broom just so he can fly up to the window in Gryffindor Tower just to annoy Chuuya

Chuya tried to tell on him but no one believed him

Dazai was not caught and has never been to this day

He was caught with the broom because of a dare with Chuuya. (of course)

Mori and Koyou (head of Gryffindor house (yes I know she’s the same age as Ranpo but she seems so much older so we’re just gonna ignore that little fact)) recruited Dazai and Chuuya after catching them broom racing in the forbidden forest.

Dazai was picked to be the seeker

He said he had no interest in sport and declined

The team captain was begging him to join

Finally Chuuya convinced him by making the team just so they could go against each other.

Chuuya was picked to be a chaser at tryouts

Dazai can feel the tiniest vibration the golden snitch creates and that’s how he tracks it as well as his good eyesight.

Dazai was picked to be slytherin head boy by Mori in 5th year

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

For the writers ask, 11, 15, 19, 20! (Is that too many? LOL oh well)

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

Only for one fic series and that is Gibbous/Crescent. As much as I like to listen to music while writing, when it comes to creating playlists for fics, it's like I go less for the literal lyrics applying to specific characters/scenes and moreso the general vibes of the song? Like I have "Come With Me Now" by the KONGOS on there, just because it has that supernatural aesthetic to its lyrics that get me into the mood of writing Gibbous because it is in the urban supernatural genre.

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

coming up with fic titles/chapter titles is the literal worst. For a lot of Gibbous chapter titles I've literally just taken song lyrics. I try to be more creative if I can, by choosing something that intrigues the reader or is related to the core message of the fic. "When the Blazing Sun is Gone" is literally stolen from "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" but has that right melancholic feeling that captures the fic (which also happens to taken place at night). Meanwhile "A Singular Cog in the Machine" is taken from a line in the fic but it is a pretty poignant line that captures the main conflict within the fic.

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

“I’m not really sick, it’s just…really bad monthly allergies,” Virgil murmured, not quite meeting the gaze of either Patton or Logan, “nobody else ever catches it, trust me.” “Virgil, please, your body needs rest to feel better,” Patton said, resting a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, “if you try ignoring that need, you’ll only feel worse.” Something flitted across Virgil’s face at this. Grief? Frustration? Understanding? Logan did not know; he could not read others’ expressions as well as Patton’s. As quick as the emotion appeared, it vanished as Virgil’s features smoothed out into a blank placidity. Almost as if the human had drifted deep into the recesses of his thoughts. “Virgil,” Logan said, waiting for Virgil’s eyes to blearily refocus on him before he continued on, “perhaps we could drive you to an urgent care—” “No!” He shook his head violently, “No, no, no doctor—I’m not that sick, trust me, I’ve felt worse.” -Gibbous Chapter 12 WIP

20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

Probably "Witches Get Stitches" which is a play on the phrase "Snitches get stitches." It's probably one of the few instances where the fic title came first before the plot idea, and I then had to figure out how to make the plot fit the fic title.

Fanfic Writer Asks!

[euphoricnyctophilia]

Oh my god I’m ready for this episode to destroy me 🥲😔

Ok so the town has more than one doctor. Dr. Phibes, Dr. Saperstein and potentially a secret third doctor who looked at Roz’s eyes

All Zelda does is lounge around the mortuary in her pajamas. She leaves one time and everyone’s like “where’d she go 🫨🤔”

Zelda looks so beautiful in the light of the witches cell.

This bitch is unloading his wife’s entire class load onto Zelda. I hate him! She is wasted on him.

No matter what is going on, the weird sisters will always slay. Like why do y’all look so cunty while praying?

Salem being the worst (laziest) familiar ever pt 1. Like you could’ve told Sabrina Nicholas was in her room. We know you can speak

Nicholas why are you hanging out in a corner in the shadows like a creep?! Lilith’s son for real.

Tommy Kinkle vegetable arc

The first time I watched the show, I thought that they were doing a bit by having Zelda’s newspapers in different languages. It did not occur to me that she was multilingual. 😂

 Lilith asking Sabrina if she’s going to borrow her book of the dead and Sabrina staring at her like a dead fish for 10 whole seconds is so silly. To be fair, I would probably stare like that too, cause she’s hot as hell.

Roz probably thinks that Sabrina is just doing her best friend duties listening to her freaky little cunning visions but in actuality Sabrina is just getting a second opinion/preview of how all of her stupid little plans will go terribly terribly wrong

Blackwood hyping up the familiar he’s going to give Ambrose and then opening a box with a fucking mouse in it.

Which Ambrose immediately sniffs what the fuck 😭

Faustus being like yeah, y’all can fuck in my office. He supports gay people only if it’s mlm

It’s so cute how they brought the turnip as evidence

Dorcas just took a bite out of the fucking turnip. I love her

Why would Dorothea tell Theo to steal a book? 

Why is Hilda acting like she doesn’t know who one of Sabrina’s three friends is??

Prudence is so valid for being like “fizzy water??” Because why are you playing in my face

Sabrina is going to jail once Zelda finds out what she’s been up to!!!

I do not know how to throw or catch a football so the fact that Tommy did that with one hand without looking at it is pretty cool

 Sabrina wakes up and is like “you know what? I will put everybody in danger” because you have no idea what’s gonna happen when Roz touches this guy who came back from the dead?!

I don’t remember what the blonde lady in Roz‘s vision means and I don’t remember why she wouldn’t just tell her. She told her all of the other crazy things she saw. 

Who the hell is this Doc Phibes for real

Hilda said, “I’m just not mad that you disobeyed me, I’m mad that you’re fucking stupid”

Zelda making them learn Do-re-mi (which took at least a week), but only as her back-up singers is so funny

The only adults in the room just fucking staring at Agatha after she says, “help me” and collapses. I’m weak.

“Sabrina performed a resurrection?” Zelda is deciding wether to puke or pass out

They are snitching on Sabrina as if they did not take part in the ritual. Like did she hold y’all under the threat of holy water and make y’all watch her perform the ritual?

“The iNfErnAl iNfiRmAry” shut up Faustus

I hate the way he is smiling at her begging. He (Richard) is playing this role too well.

 Miranda running around in her heels is so cute. I love her no notes.

Also, we never see her in this cunty-ass, purple leopard print from outfit ever again booo

Tommy not being hungry because he was nibbling people in the mine is insane, but I am giggling a little bit. I should do these drunk. 😂

Harvey is asking too many questions and not being grateful for the fact that his brother has returned from the mines (physically) unharmed. (mentally and spiritually he is not doing well)

Zelda standing at the top of the stairs, ready to begin her lecture 😂 Cunty!

Also, Zelda calling Sabrina a murderer, as if she doesn’t murder Hilda and put her in the cane pit at least once a season

Zelda standing on the landing like a sim. 🧍‍♀️😂

The price that Zelda paid was probably losing Vinegar Tom, but the writers hate women so we’ll never find out what it was

Lilith telling Sabrina that there’s a soul eater that devours the souls it catches and Sabrina being like “I know Harvey would do it for me uwu” bitch! please stop smoking crack

Oh my God she looks so good in these woods. Sabrina is better than me because we would’ve been kissing in front of that portal.

Why is everybody naked?

I do not like the look of limbo. I would’ve seen all of that fog and started tugging. Sorry, Harvey already thought that his brother was dead once. He could deal with it again 😭

 I feel like maybe Lilith cut the rope just a little bit we know she loves drama

 I have one thing to say about Miss Wardwell in her leather trench with shoulder pads, and that snatched waist; CUNTY

Michelle really should’ve gotten some kind of award for this because the balance between nurturing mentor and manipulator is a master class. Like she’s fooling me. I would’ve been manipulated. And not even because she’s hot.

I think it’s very nice that Roz is asking what it means to be a witch, because at the end of the day these kids have known each other since preschool and that is her best friend even though she’s making very very bad decisions and 🎶 lying🎶 to everybody

What’s the number one rule of fight club? Don’t tell anybody that you’re a freaking witch

This angry confused face that Harvey is making reminds me of a gorilla

I never shipped Sabrina with anybody because I think she needs to focus on character development and not tie herself to any of these dumb boys, but also Harvey was never going to be enough for the person that she was becoming. The look on his face when she tells him that she knows that he would’ve done the same thing for her…. He’s not the one 

“You have to go”

“Why I don’t want to”

Sabrina doing the most and then acting shocked and hurt when people are upset at her for doing the most. She looks like a kicked puppy right now, girl what did you expect?

So…. they paid for the first funeral, got the insurance money, Tommy came back. Harvey is about to shoot him, are they just gonna bury him in the yard? cause it would be hella awkward for them to have a second funeral….

Zelda putting her clothes back on and waiting on the porch for her girl to get back so that she could comfort her after it all blew up in her face 🥺. Sabrina, I have a brick with your name on it because what do you mean that’s not your mother