#how tf am i supposed to live in these conditions???

[inklore]

just watched the video on reddit where someone turned down the music on the carriage scene and

[stxrmylxve]

bro i hate when jeans do the thing where it makes you look like you have a dick

[cautiously0ptimistic]

I would love very much not to go negative in my bank account every two weeks

[weeping-vintage-toes]

I don't have time to read smut cause my 2nd period group (me and 3 other people) dumped the whole project on me, and other than warm ups it's the only grade I have for this 9 weeks. Grades are due this Friday, and I don't even have the first thing done. I also have another project due and need to finish that, as well as an essay that I'm praying to God my teacher will let me finish (she probably won't).

[nanamin-nah-nanamine]

LAWD HAVE MERTHY YALL

Face sitting w/ Higuruma

contains: fem reader, face sitting, cumming untouched (Hiromi), dirty talk, asphyxiation, pussydrunk!Hiromi, big nose supremacy, implied multiple rounds

MDNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

"Your nose is so pretty Hiromi." You whispered to the man above you. Higuruma was reading some book as you rested your head on his lap, studying his features. His nose was high with a beautiful arch, his lips soft and plump, his eyebrows thick but well kept, thanks to you, his face sharp and chiseled to match his strong, defined features, he was utterly gorgeous.

The man whose legs you were lying on tipped the book down, allowing him to have an unobstructed view of your face. He smiled softly at your serious expression before he spoke, "You think so?" He asked, still holding his book by his side. You kept your expression the same as your eyes traced down the slope of his nose.

You reached up and touched it, running your finger from the strong bridge to the tip, before you dragged your finger down to his lips, pulling his bottom one back in the process as you continued dragging it down his face, letting his lip fall back into place before you dropped your hand back down on your chest. "Yeah." You replied, your eyes finally meeting his. It was only then that you realized he had been watching you that whole time.

"What do you like about it?" He asked, egging you on. You swallowed hard as you looked at the feature once more before smiling and looking into his eyes again, "The shape is perfect, and it's so… big. It looks so pretty on your face." You said honestly, your face heating up at your own words. "Is that right?" He responded, his eyebrows raising at your unabashed honesty as he dropped his eyes to your lips briefly before looking back into your eyes.

"If it's so pretty…" Hiromi started, mindlessly folding a page of his book at the corner to save his spot before he shut it and placed it to his side, leaning his face towards yours. His large hand grabbed your chin as he got closer, his body bending over you to bring his lips agaisnt yours, "do you wanna sit on it?" He finished. You swallowed hard, feeling every muscle on your body go rigid as you heard your heart beat loudly in your ears.

"Hiromi…" You mumbled, looking away from his eyes as you tried to escape his watchful gaze. You were just trying to compliment him, how did it get like this? "What? I thought you said it was pretty. You should show me how much you really like it or I might not believe you." He said, his hot breath tickling the skin of your lips as he teased you.

You suddenly felt a warmth blossom in the bottom of your stomach as he hovered over you, teasing you by not closing the distance. Your hands reached up and curled into his house shirt as you fought to keep hold of your sanity, trying to not get swept away by his words. "Let me please you." He whispered against you before pressing a featherlight kiss against your slightly parted lips. You had started breathing heavier at some point, your body growing aroused by his words.

"Let me taste you." Another featherlight kiss. "Sit on my face, grind your clit agaisnt my nose." You moaned against his lips, leaning your head up as you made him kiss you harder, sick of his teasing. You could feel his smile against your lips, his own heavy breathing hitting your cheeks as he breathed through his nose during the kiss. "Your mouth is so dirty, Hiromi." You said bashfully as you broke the kiss, pulling back just slightly as you mumbled the barely audible words against his soft lips, red from the kiss.

"Let me show you how dirty it can really get." He teased, smirking against your lips as he forced your lips together again. Your hands abandoned their hold on his shirt as you wrapped them around his neck, scratching your nails over the nape of his neck as he kissed you, making him groan softly into your mouth, a sound that you swallowed up greedily.

——

"Hiromi this is… so embarrassing." You said as you sat on top of his chest, your bare cunt placed right between his pecs, your body moving up and down with his heavy breaths. "Why?" He asked as he ran his hands up and down the sides of your soft body, his eyes raking over your form as he waited for you to speak.

"I feel so exposed." You said, averting your eyes. Hiromi giggled, the vibrations in his chest tickling your inner thighs. "You don't usually feel embarrassed when I eat you out, why the sudden change?" He asked, tilting his head at you as he waited patiently for you to answer, despite how hard his cock was throbbing in his boxers at the thought of having you sit on his face while he tongue fucked your pussy.

His hands relaxed some of the nerves in your body as you tried to find the words. "I guess it's different 'cos I'm on top." Your eyes found his once more, only they weren't looking at your eyes, they were still dragging over your body, making you feel even more exposed. Hiromi didn't give any reaction of embarrassment when he looked back up to you and realized you were looking at him again, he just cupped your face in his hands and caressed your cheeks, watching how your eyes fluttered shut as you leaned into his touch.

"Nonsense, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. It's just me. All I want is to make you feel good, don't worry." He consoled you, his hands leaving your face and falling on your thighs, his hands caressing dangerously close to your cunt. "Now get up here, I don't know how much longer I can wait." He confessed, giving you a smirk that poorly disguised his arousal.

It was honestly a last-minute idea that popped into his head when he had asked you to sit on his face, but the second he had uttered the words out loud, his body had reacted, and it was then that he realized just how badly he really wanted this. The lawyer didn't know why he hadn't thought of this before. He always got so aroused when he ate you out.

In fact, he loved it so much that he can't remember a time when he didn't eat your pussy out before he fucked you, this should've seemed so obvious. Having you smother his face with your pussy while you rested your full weight against him? He needed to stop thinking or he was going to cream his pants prematurely.

You leaned forward and placed your hands above his head, pushing yourself up so you were hovering above his face, a good six inches or so away from his mouth. Higuruma felt his cock twitch steadily in his pants, pre-cum flooding his boxers. If he was able to look down at his crotch he was sure there would be a huge damp spot on the front.

"What if I hurt you?" You ask hesitantly, keeping your hands above his body, not yet ready to drop down onto his face. Higaruma was a very patient man, and thank god for that because you clearly needed to be reassured right now and although he wanted nothing more than to eat you out like a man starved, he would make sure you were confident first.

"You won't, I promise." He said, smoothing his hands over your thighs. When the worry didn't dissipate from your face, he continued. "Here-" He started, tapping his fingers against your thigh twice in demonstration, "If I tap you twice, let up for a moment." He instructed, watching the uncertainty slowly wash away from your face as you nodded. The man under you smiled before he spoke again, "I won't though."

Your heartbeat sounded even louder in your head when Higuruma put pressure on your thighs as he pulled you down on top of him, silently begging you to sit on him already, so you did. You absentmindedly hovered at first, but quickly corrected your mistake when you felt the burn in your thighs, your muscles letting you know you weren't fully relaxed.

Higuruma opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue as you sat against him, your taste flooding his tongue. You were now tangling your hands in his hair for stability, your fingers brushing the strands away from his forehead so you could see his beautiful, unobstructed face. You watched how his eyes fluttered back in their sockets the second you had sat down, a deep groan resonating in his chest.

You gasped at the stimulation when he began moving his tongue back and forth, keeping it flat as he rubbed it against your folds experimentally. "Tell me what feels good." He added, mumbling against your folds. You nodded before your breath got sucked out of your lungs when his lips wrapped around your clit.

Your body arched forward as he flicked your little bud between his lips with his soft tongue. Your hands dug deeper in his hair, making him groan at the painful pleasure as he suckled your clit. Higuruma's eyes were fighting to stay open. He wanted to watch you so bad, but the pleasure he was feeling from this was immense, it was almost too much to handle, resulting in his body twitching and his eyes fluttering.

You turned your head to the side to look at his stiff cock, throbbing harshly against the fabric of his boxers, but your vision was swiftly corrected by his hands digging into the fat of your thighs, making you look at him. His glossy, unfocused eyes looked deeply into yours as he silently told you to keep your eyes on him, to watch him.

You nodded in response, your body jerking and twitching each time he did something with his tongue that felt particularly good. "O-oh fuck, r-right there-" You gasped, your nails raking his scalp when his tongue ran down to prod at your entrance. He groaned loudly into your cunt, the sound sending vibrations through you, making you jerk against him.

Higuruma stuck his tongue out more, penetrating your entrance with his tongue as he began licking your inner walls. It was a sensation unlike anything you've ever felt before. You knew it felt good there because he often teased you by only fucking you with the tip of his cock, familiar with how many nerve endings there are in that particular spot.

The push and pull of his tongue inside you was making you dizzy. Saliva and your cum ran down his chin and spilled from the corners of his mouth as he tongue fucked you vigorously, opening his mouth wider agaisnt you to ensure he was reaching it as deep as he could. "Fuck! H-hiromi fuck, that feels s-so good-" You gasped, trying to contain the jerking and thrusting of your hips as you so desperately wanted to move.

Higuruma moaned at your praise, his hips fucking up into the air, pressing his cock against the inside of his boxers as he tried to get some sort of relief. He started picking up on you holding back on him when he cracked his eyes open and saw your eyes shut, mouth ajar, and your face scrunched in pleasure, but also restraint. He was able to read you like a book.

Pulling out his tongue quickly, resulting in a loud whine from you, he turned his head into the crook of your thigh and spoke, his voice still coming out muffled, "Use me, f-fuck my face." The words were rushed and needy, sounding like he needed it more than you did.

You didn't have to be told twice, you let your body take control as you rode his face, humping your cunt against his soft tongue which aided greatly in your pleasure. "A-ahhhh!" Your moans increased in volume when you stopped holding back. Your clit finally bumped into what had started this whole endeavor, his nose.

It was hard and provided just the right amount of stimulation you were looking for. You decided to repeat the process a couple of times, humping your hips against his mouth while Higuruma laid his tongue flat for you to grind on while simultaneously rubbing your clit against his nose. The man underneath you quickly picked up on your pattern, realizing you were trying to hump his nose on purpose.

His hands slid behind you to your ass as he pushed you further up on your face and started shaking his head back and forth. You almost screamed in surprise when his tongue started thrusting rapidly inside you as he drank up your juices greedily, while his nose abused your little clit, even more so with his own motions combined with your humping.

Higuruma was released the neediest, most obscene moans and groans you've ever heard from him, your body josting slightly even more not just from his head movements, but from his body shaking as his hips thrust into the air steadily. The friction he was getting on his cock was little, but the rubbing of his cockhead agaisnt the fabric from the way his cock was poking straight out against the boxers felt delicious.

His tip was always so sensitive, so it made his thrusts jerky and uneven, but it felt good nonetheless. He was sure he was going to cum like this, he could already feel the ball of pleasure start to coil up in his belly. His tongue movements got sloppier as he tried to work you up to your orgasm with him. Your own thrusts were twitchy and less intense the more your body hardened up as it prepared for your release.

"H-hiromi fuck me, k-keep fucking me with your tongue-" You gasped, your head falling back as your mouth dropped open, your nails digging against his scalp. "Ohmygod just like that- j-just like that don't fucking stop-" you babbled, moaning and whimpering his name mindlessly as you writhed on top of his face, your sounds getting higher in pitch.

You felt Hiromi's breath tickle your inner thigh through his nose each time your cunt jerked back, giving him the space to breathe. Honestly though, in this moment, he couldn't care all that much about breathing. The slight asphyxiation from you rutting against his nose made his mind feel cloudy, simultaneously making his cock more sensitive.

He released a long groan into your cunt as he came before you, his body jerking and spasming as he continued to rut his hips into the air, his cum seeping through his boxers and wetting them even more. You were about to ask if he just came, even though it was obvious, but your words were stolen from your mouth and replaced with gasps and whines as your orgasm crashed over you.

Hiromi's cock kept jerking in his boxers as he spilled the rest of his seed, still thrusting his tongue inside you as he helped you ride out your own orgasm on his face. Your body almost fell forward if not for your shaky arms reaching out and catching you against the sheets over his head as you came, your thighs squeezing around his head, now effectively cutting off his airway.

It wasn't long before he was able to breathe again though. Once your orgasm was over, your thighs went lax and so did the rest of your body as you rolled off of him, falling on your back next to his body, you a little higher up on the sheets than him. Higuruma gasped and twitched agaisnt the sheets, both of his hands coming down to cup over his cock and press against it, giving himself some sort of pressure as he basked in the aftershocks.

You weren't faring much better, your legs crossed as you laid partway on your side, your breathing rapid and loud as you tried to recover from such an intense orgasm. The two of you laid there for a good while, just letting your bodies recover with one another. After a whine, once both of your breathing had returned to normal, Higuruma turned his head to look at you, his face red and eyes lidded still, his mouth, chin, cheeks, and nose covered in your cum.

"Wow." He said quietly, making you smile as you rolled over on your side, sliding down the bed a bit so your leg was thrown over his as you rested with him. Higuruma used all of the strength he had left in his body to pull you more against him, your head now resting on his chest as he placed his chin on your head and wrapped his arms around your body.

"Y-yeah… wow." You replied, snuggling against him. "I came in my boxers." He blurted, making you giggle at his unexpected words. "What?" You laughed, trying to look up at him. You already knew that, why was he bringing it up again? If anything, someone would usually be embarrassed at that sort of thing. "Just in case you had any doubts if I liked it. I came in my boxers, didn't even touch myself." He reiterated, making you bury your head deeper into his chest at his words.

"O-okay okay, I get it. I… liked it too." You said, wanting him to shut up about it already. Hiromi stared blankly at the ceiling as he ignored your words, the only thing on his mind being how much he liked that. "Can you go again?" He asked, making your body go rigid against him. "Huh?" You asked, making sure you really heard his words properly.

You felt something hard poke your ass from the position you were laying in. Looking down you realized he was hard and ready to go again. "Can you sit on my face again? Please? I wanna see if I can get you to squirt like that." His words made your bare cunt throb around nothing. You sighed loudly before wrapping your arms around him harder, contemplating his words. "G-give me a couple more minutes and I'll be ready." You replied, resulting in a quiet, "yessss" that made you burst out into a fit of giggles.

[messyliferip]

has everyone been realizing how incredibly miserable life is ???

I’m going to reblog all my like posts now and I’m going to write about the most stupid random bs. Also people kinda suck no??

[frecklystars]

I used to use tumblr a lot, but haven't been on in years. I logged back into my account for the first time in ages and I'm not exaggerating when I say my eyes lit up when I saw that you're still posting.

I remember you. I remember loving your posts, and all the joy you brought me before. I also remember how you struggled before, and I know you're struggling now.

But I want you to know that, from the bottom of my heart, I am so glad you're still here. ❤️

Holy shit. I am so sorry the first post from me that you see coming back on tumblr for years is me recovering from an attempt on my life. I want to say "I'm not usually like this" but I am... like this, now. I have dealt with the most horrific, terrifying forms of abuse in the last two years to the point where I cannot self ship with Tr/nsformers anymore, or self ship just in general, I can't trust anyone without walking on eggshells, I can't function anymore. I don't know if you were here 3 years ago, or maybe you remember me from earlier than that, before I was into TF. but I have C-PTSD now with a lot of really shitty shitty triggers and one major one is TF and it has been really heartbreaking having to adjust to that bc it was a special interest, where I got the most comfort from any of my main F/Os for almost 3 years. Being abused and having self shipping ruined for me is the most horrible thing to happen to me in my life so far. I didn't just lose a special interest, I lost a lot of trust in people that I cared about who betrayed me, I lose so much sleep bc I have nightmares/flashbacks all the time. I live in fear every day. I was stalked both offline and online. I've been trying to focus on Barbie for the last year now since that was the only hyperfixation I was able to actually have again, but that's been slipping away too since [gestures to the Fucking Horrors] and I just, I just have this very firm wholehearted belief that no matter whom I self ship with, any character would want to abuse me just like my abuser did, that anyone could be manipulated and turned against me, bc I was conditioned to believe that. and for the life of me I cannot shake it off. and I got so tired of dealing with this for almost 2 years so I just... tried to end everything on my one year F/O anniversary with the F/Os that I'm supposed to feel safe with. right now I am just very numb and barely existing

I'm sorry you have to see me like this, but my queue is always posting happier and lighter stuff when I'm offline, so rest assured I just make vent posts every now and then, and then I delete them. I'm barely online anymore I just don't see a point. I really wish you could have seen me before I was abused 2 years ago, I was still struggling but I was at least... myself. I haven't been myself since I was abused I don't know if I can really go back to that bc I still haven't been able to leave my situation fully. I am so unhappy all the time. I feel bad for being so negative, normally I try to be more positive especially when I get such nice asks, but it's just been getting worse and I really don't think I can keep holding on that much longer

Thank you for taking the time to send a nice message. I wish I was in a better headspace to reply. I was going to just try to reply at another time bc I am in the worst headspace rn, but I didn't know if I could wait until I was in a better headspace bc I don't know if I'm going to improve at all. I feel so hopeless. but I also didn't want to just let this ask sit in my inbox and have it collect dust for months and months. I wanted you to know I read it and I appreciate what you said. Giving you a hug. I love you. Thank you for remembering me

[twin-fantasies]

How tf am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions

[cuntrynikoli]

My husband said König is just Cobra Commander from G.I. Joe…..

König

Cobra Commander

Like he JUST bought stuff to cosplay König how tf am I supposed to live, laugh, love in these conditions?

[strigital]

hey there, handsome beans. how are y'all?

bet y'all were wondering where tf Meg's gone again. to make long and complicated story short: a few physical illnesses followed by a severe mental crysis followed by more sickness followed by more mental problems. there was, among other things, an autistic breakdown which as we know doesn't go away easily. i will be severely honest with you guys. i do not know how i am still alive, given how horribly suicidal some of these days are. i suppose having pets does make a difference - no matter how selfish the suicidal ideation is it never manages to overpower the motherly need to love and protect these small creatures that so wholly depend on you not just for food, water and shelter, but for companionship as well… Belle, despite having only been out of shelter for like three moths, has been working her little butt off trying her damnest to convince me that i am needed: from following me everywhere like a shadow to crying like a child whenever there's a closed door between us… anyways, what was i talking about? ah yes… the horrific state both my mind a body ended up in. i honestly have no idea where this all came from. it was like one day it was sunny and calm and the next morning i woke up in the aftermath of a severe hurricane, ruin and corpses all around me. perhaps it was all brewing for a long time and i simply failed to notice the telltale signs. after all, there's no smoke without fire. there must've been a trigger. a final drop, a straw that broke the camel's back. sometimes it felt like a horror film, full of terrible thoughts and feelings that paralise you in a fetal position in the corner of your bed and keep you there hostage for days on end. some other days there would be flashes of unexplainable happiness that lasted barely a few hours and left you feeling panicked. most days there would be this prevailing feeling of numbness that wouldn't allow you to eat, let alone take care of daily chores. i've been having severe nightmares. i've plunged my body into a state of starvation. i've turned my home into a horror house of dirt and clutter. i'm failing behind in college and my boss at work is extremely unhappy with my productivity. i've lost ability to feel time: days muddle together, all i ever feel is a desire to sleep all the fucking time.

worst of all is that i cut contact with my closest people, among them - my dearly beloved husband, who still fights cancer on the other side of the planet, wondering where his useless wife gone. i've decided that it would be better for all of them, especially my hubby, to not see me in this condition. that the best i can do for them is to remove myself from their already busy lives and free them from any heartache i may cause, me being out of my mind and all. i did, however, used the very last of my strenght to reach out, to try and call for help… the suicide prevention line was a fucking joke that left me even more desperate than i was before i contacted them. i did, however, join a local autistic group on facebook and lurked there quietly, absorbing their experiences and sifting through for any sliver of hope. and i foud it. a doctor, who may just be the only specialist on adult autism in this entire country. getting an appointment with her was a small war in of itself. and she will cost me a lot of money… but as of right now i feel like she is the only person who can pull me off of the edge, before i tumble over and plummet into the abbyss. 29th of november i will sit my ass on a train and ride to another city to meet her. i pray to whatever will listen that she will take me seriously because neither my current psychiatrist nor my psychologist do. anyone i tried talking to these past two months on the matter of my crisis never offered me any help, only useless advice like "you should talk to a priest" or "have you tried reading a self-help book?". i'm drowning over here, karen, a priest and a book will only be of use during my funeral… the meds have become useless, even when i double or triple dosage.

most of all my heart aches for my husband. he tried calling me a few times yet i was too broken and lost in the dark to even have the courage to call back. i know i have no right to scream for help to a person who had been at war with a third stage cancer for almost three long difficult years. but i am teethering on the edge. i feel like that tiny hedghehog from an old soviet cartoon - lost in a thick fog, calling out for someone, anyone, looking for a way out. and the fact that no one understands or tries to understand hurts even more. the only one's who do are those anonymous people on facebook, fighting similar battles to mine. and when i read a letter from an anonymous mom who, like me, reached her breaking point and cut off any contact with her family in preparation for a final act and she only writes on facebook to find someone, anyone, to tell her what she truly needs and wants to hear in order to swerve off of this path of self-destruction i cannot help but feel an odd likeness to hope. i am not alone. but these people, those like me, simply do not exist within an arm's reach… god almighty, i so so hope the doctor will fix me. i am so tired waking up everyday with a desperate desire to die and walking all day with an invisible noose on my neck which only grows tighter every day.

i will go now and try to record a longwinded voice message for my husband… again. i will try my bestest to apologise, to try to explain, to ask for help. but how do you even begin to explain that your life so suddenly, so abruptly and seemingly our of nowhere became an open bleeding rotten sore, that only grows everyday, infecting more and more of your soul? i don't know. i never had this kind of crisis before in my life and, as if by some cruel divine joke, right now i have no family, no friends to turn to, beside my cat and my dog.

i will not ask of you to pray for me nor wish me luck. y'all have your own busy, messy lives. i only ask that you take care of yourself and your loved ones, so nothing like that ever happens to you or them. trust me when i say that no one will believe you, because this wound is invisible. they will tell you to feel grateful for having two arms and two legs and a roof over your head. meanwhile you will slowly rot away until one day they'll gasp: "how did this happen? they were such a happy person, nothing was wrong in their lives!" that's so fucking unfair, but it is the world we live in. and i know that oversharing like this on the internet is an incredibly stupid thing to do, but… i don't know. maybe another person with similar hardships in their life will read this and realise that they are not the black sheep of the human species and that shit like that happens to others too. i know this thought brings some very mild comfort to me, so maybe it will also brings some to them.

so stay strong, my beans. god knows i'm trying to. love you all and, hopefully, see you in the near future again with memes and stuff,

-- Meg K.

[mushibashiraas]

🛒 I JUSR REALIZED HOW AWFUL AND ROBOTIC I SOUNDFJDJDJ LIKE. i come back after posting the ruggie fic and redoing my theme only to drop a to do list and dip againdjsjdjs ah. uh.

so life update ig? eh. i can talk more about my chronic migraines too since the life update is mainly about themfjdjdj oops. BUCKLE TF UP BC THIS'LL BE LONG (still dont know how to add the "more under the cut" thing on mobile tumblr. too lazy to get out my laptop)

this whole week has been insane! context: my migraines are triggered by bright light, loud sounds, motion-sickness-games (i.e. genshin, Identity V, etc.), weather pressure changes, rainy days/nights, storms, and dramatic temperature fluctuations..... but mainly the last four.

anyway. this week had the first and the second triggers. (and towards the end of this week is supposed to have the last trigger. yay!) one of the things that happens (IF i push myself to power through and "stay conscious" — more on that in a bit) is that i faint. like. not "faint for a couple minutes." nahhhh! i go out for like 10-40 minutes; normally the max is 20. but occasionally, a 40 minute episode'll occur and those are the scary ones.

on tuesday, i had a doctor appointment with my cardiologist pertaining to said migraines and fainting. while waiting to check in, i passed out and fell (i was standing at the time). and the staff and nurses were worried i hit my head so they called for an ambulance to drive me across the street to the hospital ER. i was there all afternoon and almost all night. i finally went home at 11pm. i'll spare yall of the more personal details (what tests were done, the overall experience, etc). all i'll say is that there's a reason why i hate hospitals and needles.

but the visit was long and tedious and terrifying and painful. i cried several times, as well as fainted a few more times between when i came to just as the paramedics arrived and a little after the technicians performed EKGs, etc. [like they usually do whenever someone is first admitted to the ER]. those fainting episodes were only a few minutes tho. not long at all. don't worry!

*sighs* anyway. that visit defined my entire week tho bc i ended up missing a day of work on thursday and a korean language class on wednesday. still felt the usual symptoms (most likely the aftermath) like dizziness, nausea, a heavy, sluggish feeling, soreness/headaches, loss of eyesight, etc.

hope this explanation helps??? i'll get back to writing and gaming soon. aaaaa i have a guaranteed yelan to get ready for anyway. heehee

EDIT: i forgot to add that yall shouldnt worry too much! sorry if i scared yall! these migraines and fainting episodes aren't manageable yet. even tho i can go to work sometimes, i cant drive, take horseback riding lessons (i used to take them), and go to/continue college,,,, i've had them since 2013?? 2014?? and am on medication for them as well as going to a neurologist and cardiologist who are both monitoring my condition and trying to help me and get them manageable so i can do all the aforementioned things i said i can't do.

also, it's not as uncommon as i seem to make it to be. several celebrities (look up Ben Affleck migraines) have chronic migraines, as well as several families/people/co-workers also have or have dealt with chronic migraines and passing out due to them. my own mom and older brother — altho they aren't biologically related to me — also have bad/chronic migraines. my family actually make jokes about my migraines and say i'm a walking barometer lol if anyone lives in the northeastern U.S. text me and check if a storm is coming. lol i can most likely tell you; if i migraine than yes. if i don't than no. lol /j but all jokes aside,,, again. don't worry too much for me. ok? i'm still functioning even if it's at low-HP/hu tao levels (a little genshin/gamer joke/comparison for yall). i'm still shino/em, someone who is so in love with jamil and xiao and rindou that they'll devote all their time and resources to taking care of them. heehee! ❤️❤️

[mangodestroyer]

I want to have some kind of decor that says "ch*ldless c*t l*dy" in my living space because holy fuck! As someone who is AFAB and ch*ldfree... I just take pride in it. I love that it's the opposite of what certain people want from me!

But I don't live by myself. I live with people who hardly even know me. And while I proudly tout my favorite snek and Pratchett books out in the open... I worry that this may come off as hostile and controversial. I mean... I liked this idea even BEFORE it became p*litical... now it has that connotation to it. Really, all it's supposed to mean is, "I'm free-spirited, and a safe space for your harmless questioning of social norms."

But then... it really isn't the most out there piece of decor. I mean, many of us found that statement tasteless regardless of where we stand. Lots of people love cats. Lots of people hate when others try to reduce human beings to br*eding. Lots of people understand why a ch*ldfree lifestyle is catching on. Even if I wanted kids... how tf am I supposed to care for them with my current living situation? Tons of people in my generation are in the same boat. We're lucky to find contentment with a humble living situation. Some of us work super hard for a shitty living space. It's common to have two to three jobs these days. And STILL be on the brink of homelessness! And yes, a lot of us are way closer to homelessness than we'd feel comfortable admitting. Even if things seem to be going fine. Now those just aren't acceptable conditions for childrearing.

Not to mention... I see a HUGE f*minist movement brewing. I'm starting to see tons of women question their relationships with men and other women. How they're often treated and such. We're all starting to wake the fuck up to JUST HOW MUCH work and emotional labor is put onto us, how much we're expecting to sacrifice and suffer for other's convenience and comfort, how we're just treated like shit and sometimes put through dangerous situations... This has been so empowering for me personally. It's helped me seriously reconsider my priorities in life. It warms my heart to see women value themselves more.

[xumoonhao]

my eyesight is getting blurry again (not unless im looking at something at quite a distance so it’s not very noticeable but yknow) but eye exams aren’t covered where i live unless youre under 18 or over 65 (im neither) or if you have a condition that needs to be routinely checked (i don’t) and eye exams are expensive, esp bc i KNOW I’d need a new prescription, and potentially new frames. like how tf am i supposed to get any of that 😭

[globale-geode]

this isn't a direct reply to op, i 100% why americans look like asshats rn. this is DANGEROUS weather even by southwest standards (for those who don't know it's straight desert down there.) i live in a valley and even still every year there's at LEAST one instance of unhoused or low income people dying due to heat stroke, it's even worse in jails with not air conditioning or highly urbanized areas with nowhere to escape the heat.

shame on EVERYONE saying that they need to be "better prepared." how tf are they supposed to be better prepared like??????

my tips for staying cools is so ANYTHING outside between 7-9 am and after 8:30- 9 pm, but this time the sun becomes less of an issue which is half the risk. it's noted in the comments to drink lots but if you drink too much water you could actually fuck up your electrolyte balance. picking up some sports drink packets are cheap and simple to mix with water or make popsicles. if you do HAVE to go outside and do physical activity make SURE you cool down properly, once it gets that hot your at risk of heat cramps which are horrendous.

I need UK journalists to not show 43 degrees is not beach weather like people are gonna die

Americans do not interact

[twin-fantasies]

How tf am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions

[monstermaster13]

TftW: Caddyshacking.

Subtitle: Love For The Unappreciated.

Tom Everett TF/Were-Aykroyd scenario.

~~~~~~

There is a common misconception that sometimes authors seek out to punish others for no specific reason when it comes to their fiction and Nathan was no exception, he was sometimes accused of this but really he was just as capable of doing it to himself just as much and as such often found himself in some peculiar situations. And now he was experiencing his own stories that actually were happening to him, in a little piece I liked to call ‘’Nobody’s Fool Moon: A Were-Aykroyd Tale’’. It had only been one year since he created the ‘Were-Aykroyd’ a personality created using his wild imagination and based on his dreams, he didn’t know why and how but since then the character had become a major influence in a number of ways, the character/persona was always there. Nathan hated to admit it, but since becoming the Were-Aykroyd he admitted that having dreams about his inner 'Aykroyd' being let out via transformations into Dan Aykroyd and his characters were oddly entrancing and that he wanted it, he attempted to resist every time but sometimes he just gave in to the transformation and let 'Dan' take over him, sometimes he'd go under as 'Dan' emerged, and sometimes he'd talk like he was one of Dan's characters.

Sometimes he didn’t know why it happened but he’d wake up feeling a little bit confused and increasingly more nervous with each time that this happened, he was worried, not just worried, petrified, of what would happen to him. With his Were-Aykroyd powers sometimes being unpredictable and sometimes resulting in him turning someone even if he didn’t mean to, or in some cases winding up with a few new friends without knowing it, he was terrified of ever letting his Were-Aykroyd side out out of fear he wouldn’t be able to control it, granted he could..sometimes, but other times, the ‘Aykroyd’ side always got out and always managed to get the upper hand.

It was October 21st, 2021 and luckily Nathan never forgot to check his lunar calendar, however…unlike most Werecreature stories, the Were-Aykroyd didn’t just come out at full moon, but almost every night. You see, with Were-Aykroyds, the victim doesn’t just turn into Dan himself but into characters of his and it’s a different one each night. The previous night Nathan had found himself morphing into Mike Webber from the short lived sitcom Soul Man which wasn’t to be confused with the Cedric the Entertainer sitcom or the infamously bad 80’s movie, the night before he was Roman Craig. He wondered what was going to happen to him on this very night.

He was looking through the movie channels on his video player on his computer, when he saw Caddyshack II playing. ‘Ugh…my least favorite Aykroyd movie, it’s even Dan’s own least favorite. Why would the movie channel play this movie other than to mock me for being a fan of Dan.’ That’s when he heard the voice of his ‘Were-Aykroyd’ persona echoing in his mind. ‘Now come on buddy, you know you must watch it…’ ‘But it’s awful and Aykroyd’s character is annoying.’ ‘But don’t you love Dan? Of course you do.’

“I suppose you’re right.”

‘Of course I am and even though you don’t like the character, you might find that you’ll grow to like him.’ ‘How though?’ ‘Just listen to me…a good Were-Aykroyd always listens and always gives new things a chance.’ Those words entered his mind and wormed their way in, making him actually want to give Caddyshack II a chance. He had survived much worse in terms of bad movies, he had survived Rhinestone and even Ghosts Can’t Do It and Epic Movie. Surely Caddyshack II couldn’t be that awful, right? He might have been tempting his own fate but he really couldn’t help it really, it’s just that those words hypnotized him and conditioned him.

He watched the movie even though he hated it, and that’s when he saw the moon’s light reflecting off the screen…he felt an odd sensation going through his body as his stomach gurgled as if he had eaten something he shouldn’t…’ugh…I don’t feel good. I can feel it happening.’ ‘It’s only a matter of time until you change.’

“I can keep you at bay.”

“During the day at least…but at night, you’re mine.”

‘I know, but I wish I could control my Aykroydian urges sometimes…’ Nathan always had trouble with his Aykroydian urges and the dreams were fueling them even further, he couldn’t help but help think of seeing Victoria, the halloween loving prankster transform, and that scene in general…all the Were-Aykroyd transformation scenes in his dreams, oh how sometimes he wished that the transformation was happening to him in the ones in which it happened to someone else, he couldn’t help but remember Grocer appeared to him…specifically it was his Were-Aykroyd alter-ego, ’but out of all the characters of Dan’s to take after why did it have to be Grocer? Couldn’t it be Mike Webber or Elwood, or even Beldar?’ ‘Well I suppose if I didn’t choose to appear as a less psychotic Aykroyd character you would have gotten those, but as such you take after me.’ ‘How?’ ‘We’re siblings, and siblings copy each-other.’

He remembered another scene, the first dream he had of turning Were-Aykroyd and how relieved he was when it turned out to be just, only for his relief to turn into shock/horror when he found out that he had been bitten/bite-kissed, and that’s when he saw the Were-Aykroyd from the dream looking at him. He panicked…’no, way…I have to be dreaming again, I have to be dreaming, I have to be dreaming.’ ‘This is no dream, now you’ll become like me.’ He tossed and turned and saw that the Were-Aykroyd from his dream had the exact same blue eyes as Vic from the 1981 film Neighbors. And then he witnessed his first dream induced transformation into a Were-Aykroyd…’oh no…this is no dream, this is really happening!’, he screamed in a way which mirrored the iconic scene from Rosemary’s Baby.

Those scenes were permanently in his mind along with his first Were-Aykroyd transformation, he always dreaded and feared his Were-Aykroyd transformations, he always had the picture in his head of them being painful/horrifying ala An American Werewolf In London or something Cronenbergian, he recalled having a vision once in which he was looking in a mirror and he saw pieces of his face falling off and peeling off to reveal the Were-Aykroyd underneath in a manner that seemed like The Company Of Wolves’s iconic transformations.

“Now now, don’t be afraid of those dreams, it’s natural to dream of becoming a Were-Aykroyd since you are and so am I.”

“But sometimes I wish I could control..”

‘I know, you wish you could control the Aykroyd within but sometimes you can’t help but fall under my power.’ Nathan felt uneasy as his arms slowly began to bulk up, his skin lost imperfections as a couple of tattoos materialized on them…’my arms!’, his arms did also gain a few dirt splotches on them. ‘Your changes are already beginning, look.’ His stomach gurgled once more as it broadened, hairs slowly growing on it…the hairs darkened while his chest and torso contorted in the process, growing to support his body. His chest slowly sprouted brownish hairs on it, he groaned.

“I’ll do anything, please…”

“Now, don’t you love this though? You’re a good Were-Aykroyd aren’t you?”

Those words wormed their way into his mind once again as he saw his rear slowly pumping up, he attempted to resist his transformation but couldn’t help but simp over himself as his jeans slowly turned into a pair of camo pants that fitted his rear, hs legs broadened as his feet slowly enlarged, two of the toes on both feet sticking together and gaining a webbed appearance, giving him his Aykroydian feet. His blue top slowly altered to become a camo top and jacket as a pair of gloves materialized on his hands which enlarged. ‘No…I cannot be…i’m turning into Tom Everett?’ ‘That’s right you are.’

“But why him? Out of all the Aykroyd characters to turn into, why him?”

‘You know how unpredictable your Were-Aykroyd powers can be.The Were-Aykroyd side, i.e me, can take on many forms of Dan Aykroyd characters, I just so happened to select this one for you.’ Now you may think that when someone does a fic that is about some poor sap being transformed it’s mostly a hate-fic, but I assure you it is not and besides, you have issues if you think almost every one of these type of fics is a hate-fic, it is not like authors aren’t capable of torturing themselves. Nathan hated himself more than those types of people hated him, in fact he tortured himself frequently in some of his own fics just to know how it felt like.

Sometimes whenever he did something like kill off a character of someone else’s he would cry and act like he murdered someone for real, he felt guilty, he felt like he was a murderer. He wasn’t perfect, yes he could be a vindictive little creep at times or a jealous type, especially when someone he loved spent more time with someone. Jealousy ate away at him sometimes and he could never cope with loss.

That’s why he enjoyed the idea of being able to transform and become someone else, because he could lose himself in whoever he was becoming. As much as hated what was happening to him, he actually did enjoy the process of transforming, and being a Were-Aykroyd did help him throughout 2020. He examined himself once more..’there we go, look at you, don’t you feel better?’ ‘Uh…Mr Were-Aykroyd sir, I still don’t feel good…i feel weird.’ Nathan responded, but he gasped with shock when he heard that his voice deepened and altered, altering a bit to sound like Tom’s. ‘Hey, that’s not fair, what have you done to my voice?’ ‘Hush now, we know that’s what you sound like.’

“No it’s not, I don’t sound like Tom Everett.”

“Oh but you do, listen to you.”

Nathan panicked, and he didn’t know what to do…by this point he was already close to becoming extremely like that character, hearing that character’s voice come out of his mouth horrified him but he couldn’t resist simping over himself. He was a simp for Dan Aykroyd, that much was true and even in the worst of roles…Dan found a way to get into his heart. He examined his appearance, as he felt alien. His brow and forehead altered with the latter enlarging as his eyebrows thickened and his eyes widened, one turning from brown to green and the other remaining brown.

Black smudges that resemble war-paint like you’d see on a football player painted themselves on his face as his nose slowly broadened, developing a cleft in the middle as his features contorted, his lips became a bit more kissable as his features slowly warped, becoming Aykroydian, now making him look exactly like the character he was turning into…’Oh my dark lord, look at me…i’m…ugly.’ ‘You’re not ugly, you’re sexy. You’re an Aykroyd character, you’re a Were-Aykroyd like me, you’re sexy.’ ‘But look at me, i’m one of the least likable characters Dan has ever played.’

“Least likable?”

‘I’ve never seen anyone who actually likes Caddyshack II. Well okay, i’ve seen a few people who like that movie but still…’ ‘Are you saying that Tom Everett isn’t a likable character?’ ‘Oh no no…I don’t hate that character, I just don’t understand how anyone could love a character as dumb and annoying as he is.’ ‘All Aykroyd characters are lovable though, and sexy…look at you.’ ‘But…’

He held his head, attempting to keep his Aykroydian traits contained, true he did look kind of nice like this. ‘Admit it, you really like this.’ ‘Well you’re kind of right there, I do like it…I just don’t know how to feel about it.’ ‘Maybe this will help you.’ Nathan coughed for a little bit and as he did, his voice slowly altered itself like it did before, becoming exactly like Tom Everett’s voice. ‘My voice…nooo, I want my old voice back please.’

“A good Were-Aykroyd always approves of his changes.”

“I guess you’re right…”

‘Of course I am, you’re a good Were-Aykroyd. You’ve been away from me for a long time and that made me worried that you had forgotten me. But luckily you never forget me, after all I am a part of you and always will be.’ ‘Now why would I forget you anyway? You’re my alter-ego, I permanently have Were-Aykroyd powers because of you manifesting all through last year.’ ‘Exactly, even if you’re someone else, your half Aykroydian dna will always lead you back to me.’

“Absolutely.”

“I was wrong to doubt you, Mr Were-Aykroyd.”

A couple of minutes later Nathan’s personality merged with Tom Everett’s, he was still himself but he was a Were-Aykroyd with hypnotic powers that just so happened to be in the form of Tom Everett, true he tended to act like the character but he was still himself. ‘You know I was thinking.’ ‘Yes?’ ‘That maybe you should introduce yourself, and your Aykroydian brethren to that new attendant.’

“You mean Otho Fenlock?”

“Yes, him.”

‘But Mr Were-Aykroyd, I don’t think he’d approve.’ ‘But he definitely would…Otho could do with some love and affection. He’s a character who barely gets any attention in terms of Beetlejuice merch.’ ‘That’s true. Apart from the Kenner figure and the Minimates figure, he gets left out…poor guy.’ That’s when Tom Everett spotted Otho himself, Otho was examining an artifact.

“Mr Fenlock…”

“Yes? What may I do for you?”

“I heard that you are an underappreciated character.”

‘That’s definitely true. But I sort of have my own group of admirers too.’ ‘I know the feeling.’ ‘Oh really now?’ ‘Yes, my name is Tom Everett. I am an unappreciated character too, in many ways. Nobody likes the movie I'm from except for a few people and well some people find me annoying.’ Otho looked away for a bit, blushing as if he was being flattered, he always did enjoy being flattered and he never had any problems being generous in return. The interior designer definitely felt shocked to find that Tom liked him and even more so when Tom hugged him and kissed him. ‘Oh my…someone really likes me, I don’t think i’ve felt this way before.’

“There’s more where that came from.”

He didn’t know how to feel about this…he felt a rather unusual sensation surging through his body as he underwent a metamorphosis, a metamorphosis which gave him Aykroydian traits and made him half Aykroyd-like in terms of his appearance and mannerisms but also kept some of his usual traits like his snarky personality and deep Glenn Shadixian voice and baritone mixed in with Aykroyd’s voice. Otho was now half Were-Aykroyd because of Tom Everett’s kiss transferring his powers into him.

“Oh my…what have you done?”

“Oops…I forgot to warn you that I might be contagious.”

“So now i’m half…Aykroyd?”

“Well yeah, but don’t you worry.”

Otho felt a little bit confused about this, on one hand it felt good to be loved but he was half Were-Aykroyd now and he still was partially himself, he felt like attacking Tom but he didn’t do that since he respected him a bit more, Tom had been kind to him and didn’t treat him like he was a pain in the behind. And so he walked off for a while and continued looking around. Delia did however stop by to ask Tom if he had seen Otho though. ‘Mrs Deetz, your friend went over in the apartment room next door to look around. He’s really nice.’ ‘Thank you.’

And thus with that Tom Everett continued searching around and he looked out the window, seeing the moon so bright and beautiful made him feel at peace, and that was not just because of his Were-Aykroyd traits, he just in general was relaxed by it. He later invited the other Aykroyd characters over and they had a lovely night hanging out together. As for Otho, he eventually did turn back to normal afterwards but he did find it difficult to explain to Delia and Charles about what happened to him earlier.

Thus comes the little moral of the story, sometimes you have to realize that authors of this type aren’t the uncaring monsters that they are sometimes viewed as being, yes they can be pricks sometimes and sometimes without knowing it, even if they do ruin somebody’s reputation in written form or some form or anything, they’ll always feel bad for it and they are capable of experiencing the pain that some of their supposed subjects go through, heck the best authors try their own hand at experiencing it themselves.

And also an additional part of this moral indicates that sometimes it helps to transform yourself in order to get into the mind of your characters and know how they feel and how it feels for them. And remember this my friend, being weird isn’t so bad, being Aykroyd-like is great too, remember, we’re all special in our own unique way. It doesn’t matter what species you are, be true to yourself and you cannot go wrong.