#how shall i deal

[viserya-firstofhername]

Hear me out, I am not saying anything in particular, yet I am saying some matters which I may elaborate upon in times to come.

[vaguely-concerned]

so when adaar tells harding that they got her mother out of danger in ferelden before the blight really hit, and that she's safe with 'some old friends' for the duration... good people of tumblr I was just hit with the incredibly funny concept that harding's ma is spending the entirety of the veilguard double blight hanging out with the valo-kas mercenary company. ma harding and shokrakar is the buddy comedy duo I didn't realize I needed until right in this moment. they butt heads to begin with but end up seeing eye to eye eventually. with the help of some crates, and creativity.

(...in fact since harding's parents have canonically amicably divorced since inquisition.......( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hello my second nichest but also perhaps most valid dragon age pairing thus far. lace bringing taash home with her for the first time only to find her mother standing on a chair to also be passionately making out with a powerful and bluntly hilarious vashoth warrior is something that can actually be so personal.)

[notbecauseofvictories]

Longtime follower and I love seeing your insights, so wondered if you had thoughts or advice on this:

I live alone and I'm not in a relationship, though I do date. I'd say ninety percent of the time I really enjoy my life, seven percent I'm a bit sad or annoyed about not having a partner yet, and three percent I get tossed into the Pit of Despair. That three percent can be tied into hormonal cycles, bad timing, etc - even when I know the cause, it still needs to be lived through. Has that happened with you? If so, how do you manage it? I do okay, but it feels like I could do better.

Ah, but the Pit of Despair and I are best friends now. I've sent pictures from the Pit, all featuring me with an absolutely humorless, rictus grin, which does make me wonder why no one else has noticed yet. I have a timeshare in the Pit of Despair. I spend some time there every six months or so, standing in the middle of my impossibly overgrown, dingy garden, and thinking to myself, how did I get here? how do I get out?

And then, as though endurance isn't enough...then your timeshare in the Pit ends. You emerge in the daylight and immediately forget how grey and hopeless that garden was, the weirdly stained, collapsing furniture in the corner and the crooked yellowing plants and that mean laughter you could sometimes hear over the sounds of waving grass. You think to yourself: that will never happen again! I am free! I am cured!

(This will feel so much worse, the next time you're shoved back into the stupid garden.)

That said, I don't think you're going to like my answer to your next question. This is because I don't like my answer; unfortunately, it remains the only answer I have to this question.

I think having some unsettled sorrow, just a touch of existential despair, is the best we can hope to do in this life.

I think that with both rueful humor and deep, deep disgust, which is typically the combo I bring to musings about being a person. Of course it's a little funny---look at the monkey, it's got anxiety!---and of course it's also frustrating, unspeakable outside of bitter cursing, a problem that will not be fixed because quite frankly it's built too deeply into us to be cut out cleanly and thrown away.

(Look at the fucking monkey, you can tell yourself through gritted teeth, standing in that horrible garden with weeks of dirty dishes in the sink and an inbox of emails and friends blowing up your phone with plans you hate to even think about. It's got anxiety.)

I do not have a cure for this. I manage it with the same sort of humor and ruefulness and bitterness that I mentioned above---I don't beat myself up anymore, when I realize I'm standing in the horrible garden again. I know it too well. Sometimes it has an okay wifi connection? I watch some movies. I get done what I can, and forgive myself the rest. I have been here before; I will get out again. I just need to be patient.

Once I'm out, there will be a whole world, I know there will---full of music I haven't heard before and stories that won't make me cringe and emails I will respond to with ease and conversations where I can be light, amusing even. There is a world beyond the Pit. There is always a world beyond the Pit, I just can't find my way back sometimes.

In the meantime, I take another terrible picture in front of the stained furniture, and caption it "Hello from the Pit!!!" with a bunch of exclamation points to indicate that it's a joke, even though it isn't.

I wait.

[chiropteracupola]

granby + iskierka + keynes

[andrastes-cheeks]

He’s sick and he’s tired BUT he is serving

[satans-knitwear]

I went out (looking fabulous) for lunch with baby belle and the bestie yesterday!

A lovely day!! I also found an old print of a £10 note in the pocket of the red mac I got for £7 from the charity shop! Lucky!!

[andminnequin]

Shopping hehehe

[ashes-in-a-jar]

.

[rragnaroks]

hello. it is i, your friendly neighbourhood goblin that pops up every now and then to scream about something new.

i love damien haas.

this has been a psa.

[moonshine-nightlight]

*bursting out of the water with a reinvigorated will to live* I ALSO LOVE ALIENS

!!! perfect! lol

i have plenty of alien story ideas as well. in fact, a muse randomly grabbed hold of me and i'm working on one right now. i rly hope with the time off i have this week (in between family stuff, friend stuff, work stuff i still have to do, and chores/errands) that i can get back into doing some writing before Busy Season at work knocks me on my ass until the end of April.

still developing the alien in this story so i u have any gender/coloring preferences, let me know

[viserya-firstofhername]

I really cannot express with sufficient fervor how much and more I believe, had Jacaerys lived, he would have basically become Leto Atreides. And I do not mean the visage, but it serves just as well.

'Doomed' spelled on their beauteous cheekbones.

[deus-ex-mona]

real talk: lxl should continue to explore romance fantasy concepts in their songs. it’s clearly working for them~

[minminambus]

Me going ‘aw fuck’ as I realize that not-great social life as a kid is something that impacts my head today.

[good--merits-accumulated]

i fear i am endlessly predictable (writing new dps au which is once again fantasy with Arthurian elements)

[definitely-not-a-wasp]

FCG asking “how could you hurt Fearne like that” in the most betrayed, scandalized manner as if Fearne didn’t just physically assault Ashton twice and try to break the one possession that they’ve kept on them throughout the campaign.

[apamates]

Fitz' loved ones going "is anyone going to inflict unimaginable trauma on that boy??" and not waiting for an answer