#how sam truly believed dean was dead

[homehauntsyou]

I hate how some people act like, when dean disappeared at the end of s7, sam just dusted off his hands, went “oh well,” and immediately got with amelia?? like just because they didn’t show him going through it on camera doesn’t mean that didn’t happen. or that the months of grieving were any less real. this man had just recovered from months of hallucinating the devil and then lost his only connection to reality and is always always always canonically suicidal whenever dean dies. he didn’t want to take his brother from (what he thought was) a better place and just did what he thought dean would’ve wanted. just because sam didn’t kill himself to tear dean from (what he believed to be) heaven doesn’t mean he wasn’t devastated over the loss of his brother.

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Dead Man's Blood | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, daddy issues, mentions of parental death

Word Count: 5022

A/N: Cannot believe we're at the penultimate episode of my version of the first season Supernatural!! Crazy!! Thank you guys so much for the love and support; I truly appreciate it.

When season 2 starts, the taglist will be closed! If you'd like to join and haven't already, please let me know!

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You and the Winchester boys sat at a table in a diner searching for possible cases to take on. You sat at your laptop on the side of the table with Sam and Dean to your right and left. 

Dean looked through a newspaper and folded it up in frustration. “Well, not a decent lead in all of Nebraska. What’ve you got, Sammy?”

“I've been scanning Wyoming, Colorado, South Dakota... here. A woman in Iowa fell ten thousand feet from an airplane and survived,” Sam responded.

“Sounds more like ‘that's Incredible’ than, uh, 'Twilight Zone'.”

“Yeah, I agree,” you said.

“Hey you know we could just keep heading east. New York. Upstate. We could drop by and see Sarah again. Huh? Cool chick, man, smokin'.” Dean whistled lowly. “You two seemed pretty friendly. What do you say?”

“Yeah, I don’t know, maybe someday. But in the meantime we got a lot of work to do Dean, and you know that,” Sam stated.

“Yeah, alright. How ‘bout you, (Y/N)?”

“Uh, man in Colorado, local man named Daniel Elkins was found mauled in his home,” you said, continuing to scan the web page before you.

“Elkins? I know that name,” Dean said.

You shrugged as Sam said, “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

Dean muttered the man’s name over and over.

“Sounds like the police don't know what to think. At first they said it was some sort of bear attack, now, they've found some signs of robbery,” you continued.

Dean took out his father’s journal and began to flick through it. “There, check it out.” He turned the book around to you and Sam and pointed at a contact reading “D. Elkins” with the man’s phone number next to it.

“You think it's the same Elkins?” Sam questioned.

“It's a Colorado area code.”

“Alright, Colorado it is. Let’s go, kids,” you said. 

***

You and the boys made your way to the remote cabin of Daniel Elkins and picked the lock to his home. You cringed at the sight of your messy surroundings once inside. Books were everywhere, mad scribblings on stray pages covered the floor, and the furniture seemed to not have been dusted in years.

“Looks like the maid didn't come today,” Dean remarked.

You crouched down at the entrance of the home and fingered something on the floor. “Hey, got some salt over here.”

“You mean protection against demon salt, or 'oops I spilled the popcorn' salt?” Dean asked.

You gave him a dirty look. “Clearly a ring. Elkins was a player?”

“Definitely,” Dean responded. 

You rose to go stand beside the brothers and look over the journal they were flicking through.

“That looks a hell of a lot like Dad's,” said Sam as he flipped through the pages.

“Yep, except this dates back to the '60s,” Dean added.

You led the brothers into another room and took in the shattered skylights. You moved your flashlight around the room and took in the fact that somehow, this room was messier than the other ones.

“Whatever attacked him, it looks like there was more than one,” Sam said, referencing the damage to the skylights. It seemed there were two separate entry points through them.

“Looks like he put up a hell of a fight, too,” the older brother added. He crouched down to the floor.

“You got something?” you asked, crouching beside him.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “Some scratches on the floor.”

“Death throes maybe?” Sam suggested.

Dean grabbed a page from a notebook on top of the desk beside you and placed it over the spot on the ground. He rubbed a pencil over the top to create an outline. “Or maybe a message.” He peeled up the paper that now had a lot of blood on the back and showed you and Sam the rubbings of the characters. “Look familiar?”

“Three letters, six digits. The location and combination of a post office box. It's a mail drop,” you said.

Dean looked to his brother. “Just the way Dad does it.”

***

You and the boys found a letter in the mailbox labeled with the numbers and letters from the floor’s message. You leaned over the back seat of the car and read off the letters on the envelope.

“ ‘J.W.’ Gotta be John Winchester, right?” you said.

“I don't know. Should we open it?” Dean turned his head to you.

A knock on Dean’s window came before any of you could say another word. You reared back and grabbed your gun from your belt, pointing it at the sound.

“Dad?” Dean breathed out.

You breathed out sharply as John opened the door and slid into the seat next to you. “I almost shot you, dude.”

He chuckled at you.

“Dad, what are you doing here? Are you alright?” Sam asked, turning to face him.

John’s gravelly voice seemed even more tired and worn than the last time you’d seen him. “Yeah, I'm okay. I read the news about Daniel; I got here as fast as I could. I saw you three at his place.”

“Why didn't you come in, Dad?”

“You know why. Because I had to make sure you weren't followed. By anyone or anything. Nice job of covering your tracks, by the way.”

Dean looked a little proud. “Yeah, well, we learned from the best.”

“Wait, you came all the way out here for this Elkins guy?” Sam questioned.

John nodded. “He was— He was a good man. Taught me a hell of a lot about hunting.”

“Well, you never mentioned him to us.”

“We had a— we had kind of a falling out. I hadn't seen him in years.” He gestured to the envelope. “I should look at that.” He opened it. “ 'If you're reading this, I'm already dead'... that son of a bitch.”

“What is it?” his eldest son asked.

“He had it the whole time.”

Sam looked at him confused. “Dad, what?”

“When you searched the place, did you— did you see a gun? An antique, a Colt revolver, did you see it?”

You shook your head. “I saw an old case, but it was empty.”

John sighed. “They have it.”

“You mean, whatever killed Elkins?” Dean asked.

John started to get out of the car. “We gotta pick up the trail.”

“Wait, you want us to come with you?” Sam scoffed.

“If Elkins was telling the truth, we gotta find this gun,” John rushed out.

“The gun? Why?”

“Because it's important, that's why.”

‘He’s even more of a hardass than Dean.’

“Dad, we don't even know what these things are yet,” the younger son protested.

“They were what Daniel Elkins killed best: Vampires.”

Your heart nearly dropped at the mention of those creatures.

“I thought they were extinct. I thought Elkins and others had wiped them out. I was wrong,” John said. 

“Damn right,” you jumped in, not realizing the sudden venom lacing your words.

The three men stared back at you, and you shrank awkwardly.

John continued to explain. “Most vampire lore is crap. A cross won't repel them, sunlight won't kill them, and neither will a stake to the heart. But the bloodlust, that part's true. They need fresh human blood to survive. They were once people, so you won't know it's a vampire until it's too late.”

Anxiety clawed at your throat. You hadn’t faced any vampires since the death of your family.

***

You and the Winchesters found a decently priced motel to stay in to get your bearings before you went after the vampires. You watched Sam and Dean sleeping peacefully on their beds, but you were unable to get a wink. You and John sat on opposite sides of the table in the room listening to the police scanner.

You admired Dean’s relaxed features. You rarely saw him this at-ease. You wished you could be sleeping beside him, but your own mind was keeping you awake. The eldest Winchester looked over at you and whispered over the hum of the police scanner. “How’ve they been?” he asked.

You sighed. “They’re alright, I think. Been driving themselves crazy looking for you, though.”

He chuckled softly. “I figured they were.” He paused for a minute. 

“They need you more than they need me,” you said. “You should stay with ‘em. I’ll be hitting the road in a little while, I think.”

“Don’t,” he said. “They’ll need you when this is all over.”

“What? You’re not gonna stay?” You turned your head to John.

“I don’t think so,” he shook his head. 

You were disgusted at him. “Look, no disrespect, but that’s crap.”

He seemed caught off-guard. “And why’s that?” he challenged.

“Sam’s a mess. You walked out on Dean. Your boys deserve their father," you whispered harshly.

“Don’t act like you know me,” he hissed. “Dean’s a grown man. He’ll get over it. Sam, too. I’m not abandoning them; it’s just not safe.”

“Just call a spade a spade, John. Abandonment ‘for their safety’ is still abandonment,” you argued. 

“You don’t think I wanna be with my kids—?"

“No, I don’t actually,” you cut him off.

Before he could continue to argue with you, something on the police scanner caught your attention.

“Unit 22 let me confirm. Mile marker 41, abandoned car. You need a workup?” the static voice said.

“Copy that. Possible 207. Better get forensics out here,” another voice said.

“Sam, Dean, let's go,” John slapped their feet as he stood, his voice still gravelly from his anger with you.

“Mm-hmm,” Dean muttered, though still asleep.

Sam sat up and Dean rubbed his eyes.

“There’s a call on the scanner,” you said.

“(Y/N), did you get any sleep?” the older brother slurred sleepily.

“That’s not important right now,” you told him. “C’mon.”

“What happened?” Sam asked.

“A couple called 911,; found a body in the street. Cops got there and everyone was missing. It's the vampires,” John explained.

“How do you know?”

“Just follow me, okay?” John said, leaving the room. 

You turned to Sam who was putting his jacket on. “It’s how they hunt. They lay in the middle of the road and wait for somebody to pull over. By the time they get up close and personal, it’s too late. Then they leave.”

Dean sat up, still half-asleep. “You gonna be okay?” he asked you.

“I’m fine,” you responded. You could tell he didn’t believe you, but you left him behind without waiting for an argument.

***

John was talking to the cops while you and the brothers stood back by the Impala under the cover of the trees. He refused to look at you after your argument, and you refused to speak to him. You wouldn’t engage with a man who walked out on his children and put Dean through so much.

“I don't see why we couldn't have gone over with him,” the brunet sighed sulkily.

“Oh, don't tell me it's already starting.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“What's starting?” Sam asked.

John walked up before either of you could answer.

“What have you got?” Dean asked his dad.

“It was them, alright. Looks like they're heading west. We'll have to double back to get around that detour,” John explained.

“How can you be so sure?” Sam challenged.

“Sam—” Dean tried.

“I just wanna know we're going in the right direction,” Sam told him sharply.

“We are,” John responded.

You stood back next to Dean, trying not to get involved in the fight.

“How do you know?”

John handed something to his oldest son. “I found this.”

“It's a vampire fang.”

“Not a fang, teeth. They’ve got a second set that comes out when they attack,” you explained, looking over Dean’s shoulder at the tooth.

“Any more questions?” John challenged Sam.

Sam looked away and stayed silent. 

“Alright, let's get out of here, we're losing daylight,” John said. Everything he said was said with authority. “Hey, Dean, why don't you touch up your car before you get rust? I wouldn't have given you the damn thing if I thought you were going to ruin it,” he gruffly spat at his son before heading to his truck.

You angrily stared after the man before looking over at Dean, who grimaced and got into the passenger’s seat.

Sam drove, keeping a close follow on John’s truck. You rested your chin on Dean’s shoulder, looking over the excerpt he was reading about vampires in your journal. He read aloud to you and Sam. “ ‘Vampires nest in groups of eight to ten. Smaller packs are sent to hunt for food. Victims are taken to the nest where the pack keeps them alive, bleeding them for days or weeks.’ I wonder if that's what happened to that 911 couple.”

Sam grumbled, “That's probably what Dad's thinking. Course, it would be nice if he just told us what he thinks.”

“So it is starting,” Dean sighed.

“What?”

“Sam, we've been looking for Dad all year. Now we're not with him for more than a couple of hours and there's static already?” 

Sam huffed. “No. Look, I'm happy he's okay, alright? And I'm happy that we're all working together again.” 

“Well, good,” Dean said. 

The younger brother was unable to help himself. “It's just the way he treats us, like we're children.”

“Oh, God.” You sat back in the seat, doing your best to ignore the fight between the brothers.

“He barks orders at us Dean, he expects us to follow 'em without question. He keeps us on some crap need-to-know deal,” Sam argued.

“He does what he does for a reason.”

“What reason?”

“Our job! There's no time to argue, there's no margin for error, alright? That's just the way the old man runs things.”

“Yeah, well, maybe that worked when we were kids but not anymore, all right. Not after everything you and I have been through, Dean. I mean, are you telling me you're cool with just falling into line and letting him run the whole show?” Sam looked over at his brother angrily.

Dean gave Sam a long look before strongly responding, “If that's what it takes.”

Sam shook his head and returned his eyes to the road.

A few minutes later, Dean was on the phone with his dad. “Yeah, Dad. Alright, got it.” He hung up. “Pull off at the next exit.”

Sam’s frustrated tone was back. “Why?”

“ ‘Cause Dad thinks we've got the vampire's trail,” Dean said matter-of-factly.

“How,” Sam somehow sounded angrier.

“I don't know. He didn't say,” Dean responded.

Sam gunned the engine, and pulled in front of his dad’s truck before slamming the breaks.

“What are you doing, Sam?” you asked.

Sam got out of the car without answering you.

“Oh, crap. Here we go.” Dean followed his brother out of the car. “Sam!”

You just watched from the back seat, deciding not to get between the family’s brawl.

You watched in the driver’s side rear view mirror as John and Sam got in each other’s faces. Dean was trying to pull the two apart, and you could make out some of what they were screaming at each other about.

Sam approached the car again before spinning back around at his father. You often got in fights like that with your own father but more about his treatment of you and your brother. You knew better than to argue his orders.

“You were just pissed off that you couldn't control me anymore!” Sam yelled loudly enough for you to hear.

Dean then shoved the two apart, forcing Sam back to the car. Sam got back in the driver’s seat, still enraged.

“Sam, do you want me to—”

“No,” he snapped at you.

“Oh-kay, then.”

***

You and the brothers sat in the trees watching the beat-up barn the vampires called home. Dean stood beside you and cursed, “Son of a bitch. So they're really not afraid of the sun?” as he watched the vampires climb into a car, shielding their faces with their hands.

“Nope,” you said. “Direct sunlight just stings like a badass sunburn.”

“The only way to kill 'em is by beheading. And yeah, they sleep during the day— doesn't mean they won't wake up,” John added.

“So I guess walking right in's not our best option,” Dean said.

“Actually, that's the plan,” John grinned.

You and the brothers flipped open the trunk of the Impala and began grabbing machetes. John did the same with his truck, but his was outfitted with a fancy, automatic, hidden compartment.

“Here, (Y/N).” Dean handed you a rusty machete.

You caught sight of the giant blade their dad was holding. “Whoa, why don’t you have any like that?”

Dean snorted and turned his head. “Wow.”

John paused, closing his trunk. “So, you boys really wanna know about this Colt?”

“Yes, sir,” said Sam.

“It's just a story, a legend really. Well, I thought it was. Never really believed it until I read Daniel's letter,” John began. “Back in 1835, when Halley's comet was overhead, the same night those men died at the Alamo, they say Samuel Colt made a gun. A special gun. He made it for a hunter, a man like us only on horseback. Story goes he made thirteen bullets, and this hunter used the gun a half dozen times before he disappeared, the gun along with him. And somehow, Daniel got his hands on it. They say... They say this gun can kill anything.”

“Kill anything, like, supernatural anything?” Dean breathed.

“Like the demon,” Sam connected.

“Yeah, the demon. Ever since I picked up its trail I've been looking for a way to destroy that thing. Find the gun, and we may have it.”

“Wait, and you couldn’t tell your kids that why?” you snarled.

“(Y/N)—” Dean scolded, but you couldn’t help yourself.

John just looked at his eldest son. “What exactly made you keep her around for so long?”

“Both of you, stop it,” Dean said. "Let’s get these fuckers while we have the chance.”

You backed off, tension dissolving a little at Dean’s words. You looked between the boys and their father. Their faces conveyed complex emotions you couldn’t quite read.

Silently, you and Dean flanked one end of the barn while Sam took the other with his father.

You and Dean jumped through a barn window and walked around their hammocks carefully. Dean accidentally kicked an empty bottle on the ground, and you froze. You made a worried face and looked over to Dean, who froze as well.

The vampire next to Dean stirred, but didn’t wake up. You and Dean continued on until you found a woman tied up against a pole. You weren’t sure if she was sleeping or unconscious. 

“Dean,” you whispered, crouching beside the woman. He came over to you as you began to untie her. You heard a noise behind you, and Dean went over to investigate.

“There’s more,” he said, grabbing something to break the locks on the metal cages a distance away from you.

The woman you were untying began to stir, and you did your best to assure her you were here to help.

The woman awoke and let out an unearthly roar. 

“Dean!” you called, shooting up.

“Kids, run!” John called to you after hearing your voice. You and Dean sprinted out of the building, yelling for Sam as you did so. The vampires chased you, but you used the daylight to your advantage. You broke back through the trees and returned to the cars.

“Dad?! Sam!” Dean called. The two then came back up the slope. 

“They won't follow. They'll wait till tonight. Once a vampire has your scent, it's for life,” John said.

“Well, what the hell do we do now?” Dean questioned.

“You gotta find the nearest funeral home, that's what.”

You knew where John was going with this. You smiled at the boys who seemed confused. “C’mon, Dean,” you said, patting his shoulder. You turned to the Impala, and Sam and his father got in the latter’s truck.

Dean cruised down the road to the funeral home you had found and were planning to break into. 

“What the hell was that earlier?” Dean asked frustratedly as soon as the car doors were shut.

“What?”

“With my dad, (Y/N), why would you say something like that?!”

"Look, we got in a fight while you and Sam were sleeping. I just don’t like how he treats you guys,” you admitted.

“Well, thanks, but don’t. Sam’s enough for me right now as it is,” he responded.

A few moments passed, and you looked down at your hands. “I’m sorry,” you said quietly.

Dean sighed. “It’s okay.” He snorted after a moment. “Not many people would stand up to my dad like that.”

You smiled, eyes still on your hands folded in your lap. “He reminds me a lot of my dad. John and Sam fight exactly how my dad and I did. Steven always had to break us apart.”

“I just don’t understand why Sam can’t leave the old man alone,” Dean told you. “I mean, we spent so fucking long looking for ‘im, and as soon as we find him, he’s pickin’ fights.”

You nodded in understanding. “I get why he’s upset, but I agree that it’s the wrong place and wrong time right now. I mean, despite the fact that I picked a fight with him. Again, mistake on my part.” 

“Agreed.”

You let a moment of silence pass before you spoke again. “Dee?”

“Hm.”

“Now that we’ve found your dad, do you still want me here?”

He turned his head toward you. “Of course, I do. You’re not gettin’ rid of us that easy.”

You grinned. “Good. After a year of all this, you guys have become my new normal. I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to being alone again.”

Dean smirked and turned back to the road, pulling into the parking lot of the funeral home. 

After a few lies and a bit of breaking and entering, you and Dean were headed back to the motel with dead man’s blood in hand.

“What does that stuff do exactly?” Dean asked you as he drove.

“It’s kinda like vampire food poisoning. Pretty useful stuff,” you explained.

“How’ve you been with this whole thing?” he asked.

“What, the vampires?”

Dean nodded.

“Winchester, are you goin’ soft on me? Since when do you care to get into the touchy-feely?” you joked.

He rolled his eyes in response. “Answer the damn question, (Y/N).”

You sighed, dropping your plucky attitude. “I’m okay, I think. I just— I haven’t hunted any vamps since my parents died. Any time I sniffed any out, I ran the other way. It’s kind of ironic that the one thing I fucking hate hunting has the one thing we need to kill this demon.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, well, y’know… Just…” 

“There’s my boy. Having trouble with moments of sincerity once more,” you gibed but became serious once more as he rolled his eyes. “I know. If I need anything, I’ll let you know.”

***

You were surprised to find John and Sam laughing when you reentered their motel room.

“Whew. Man, some heavy security to protect a bunch of dead guys,” Dean said.

“Get it?” John asked.

You reached into Dean’s jacket pocket and pulled out a paper bag with a bottle full of blood inside it. You handed it over to the eldest Winchester.

“You know what to do,” he said.

***

You hated watching that creature feel Dean up and kiss him, but you knew you needed to let it happen for the sake of getting the Colt from the vampires. You’d already nearly beheaded her when she backhanded him.

Another vampire appeared behind the woman holding Dean in the air by his face, and that was when you made your move. You used a crossbow to shoot both of the vampires straight between their ribs, and the girl holding Dean dropped him.

“Dammit,” she cursed as you approached the group from the trees. “It barely even stings.”

“Give it time, babe,” you told her. “That arrow’s soaked in dead man’s blood. Should be giving you a nasty tummy ache any second.” You pouted at her mockingly as she began to waver and lose consciousness.

“Load her up,” John ordered you and his sons. “I'll take care of this one.” Moments later, you heard a slashing noise and blood splattering coming from behind you as you finished loading the girl into Dean’s trunk.

***

You met John in a clearing in the woods where you and Sam were setting up a campfire. Dean tied the unconscious vampiress to a tree, and you circled her, fuming.

“Easy, tiger,” Dean told you. “Don’t kill her just yet.”

“I’m tryin’ not to,” you responded, gripping the handle of your machete tightly.

He chuckled at you and turned to his dad.

“Toss this on the fire. Saffron, skunk's cabbage, and trillium. It'll block our scent and hers until we're ready,” John commanded.

“Stuff stinks!” Dean coughed.

“That's the idea. Dust your clothes with the ashes, and you stand a chance of not being detected,” his father replied.

“You sure they'll come after her?” Sam asked his dad.

“Vampires mate for life,” you broke in. “She means more to the leader than the gun.”

“But the blood sickness is going to wear off soon, so you don't have a lot of time,” John added.

“A half hour oughta do it,” shrugged Sam.

“And then I want you out of the area as fast as you can,” John stated.

The boys began to protest.

“Well, Dad, you can't take care of them all yourself,” Dean said.

“I'll have her,” John replied, referencing the passed-out vampire. “And the Colt.”

“But after. We're gonna meet up, right? Use the gun together. Right?” Sam looked at his father expectantly. There was a long pause before Sam spoke again. “You're leaving again, aren't you. You still wanna go after the demon alone." Hes scoffed mockingly. "You know, I don't get you. You can't treat us like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like children.”

“You are my children. I'm trying to keep you safe.”

Dean spoke up much to your surprise. “Dad, all due respect, but, uh, that's a bunch of crap.”

“Excuse me?” the older man scoffed.

“You know what Sammy and I have been hunting. Hell, you sent us on a few hunting trips yourself. You can't be that worried about keeping us safe,” Dean argued.

“It's not the same thing, Dean.”

“Then what is it? Why do you want us out of the big fight?”

“This demon? It's a bad son of a bitch. I can't make the same moves if I'm worried about keeping you alive,” John responded.

“You mean you can't be as reckless.”

“Look, I don't expect to make it out of this fight in one piece. Your mother's death… it almost killed me. I can't watch my children die too. I won't,” John admitted.

“What happens if you die? Dad, what happens if you die, and we could’ve done something about it?" He let his words hang in the air for a moment. "You know, I've been thinking. I think maybe Sammy's right about this one. We should do this together,” Dean stated.

Sam nodded as his brother continued. “We're stronger as a family, Dad. We just are. You know it.”

John’s walls went back up. “We're running out of time. You do your job, and you get out of the area. That's an order.”

Dean looked down at the ground, and you watched him carefully as he tried to suppress his rising emotions. 

***

After you and the boys freed the people that had been locked up in the vampires’ barn, you went to find John and the members of the nest. You found them just in time because John had been knocked on his ass by the vampire you’d kidnapped.

You and the brothers hurried out of the trees and began shooting vampires with a crossbow. You moved toward the leader with your machete, but he backhanded you and held you in a headlock with his arm around your throat. 

You struggled against him as he addressed Dean, who was holding a machete of his own. “Don't! I'll break her neck. Put the blade down.”

Dean hesitated.

Luther tightened his hold on your neck, causing you to struggle more. “It’d be a real shame for her to die.” He dug his nose in your hair and sniffed deeply. “She’s pretty. I’d love having her around. Drop it!”

Dean did as told, and his jaw clenched in fury. 

“You people. Why can't you leave us alone? We have as much right to live as you do,” the leader said.

“I don’t think so,” came John’s voice from behind you. The vampire spun you and himself around to face John, who shot the vampire in the middle of his forehead. He dropped you to the floor, and Dean rushed to your side.

You turned and watched a sigil appear on the man’s forehead where he’d been shot as his girlfriend screamed in agony. “Luther!”

The vampire slumped to the ground, dead. The vampiress started toward John, but was pulled away by her friend to get to their car. They took off, wheels screaming and leaving you in the dust.

***

You sat in the brothers’ motel room, having finished packing long before they had as usual. John entered the room and addressed his sons. “So, boys.”

They stopped packing and turned to face him. “Yes, sir.”

“You ignored a direct order back there,” he said crossly.

“Yes, sir.” Sam hung his head low.

Dean argued, “Yeah, but we saved your ass.”

John held his son’s challenging stare, and you swallowed nervously.

“You're right,” John admitted much to your surprise.

“I am?”

If it weren’t for the situation, you would’ve laughed at Dean’s adorably clueless face.

“It scares the hell out of me. You two are all I've got. But I guess we are stronger as a family. So… we go after this damn thing. Together.”

You smiled as the two boys said in unison, “Yes, sir.”

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @iloveshawn @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @davina-clairee @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @stephshaww @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @here-for-the-extravaganza @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @rei0812 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @more-espresso-less-depresso-og @mysticmyth @favoritefandoms27 @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @skys-writings @immagods @metalblindbitch @missmieux @yoongi-holland

hi there lovebugs!! quite a few tags were broken :( if i've misspelled your tag, please let me know! make sure you have my blog notifs on so you don't miss an update!!

[wellofdean]

So...thinking about Dean and Jack...

Jack is not a child. He is NEW, but he is a cosmic being of unknowable power who was cognizant enough in the womb to save Kelly because he was still using her body as an incubator, and to show Cas a manipulative, glorious vision of his future actions specifically as they relate to Cas's desires. When he is born, he speaks English and understands peril, has the physical strength and angelic power to defend himself. He doesn't understand the world, but he is a VERY fast learner. There are a lot of ways in which children are vulnerable and need protection that simply do not apply to Jack at all. He is not a baby, physically or mentally.

Where Jack is vulnerable is in his sense of self and his identity. He is emotionally and spiritually vulnerable, and he is vulnerable to manipulation. From the first time Sam talks to him, he is asking Jack if he can re-open the rift, and Sam DOES want to use him. I don't blame Sam for that, it's a perfectly logical thing to want. Sam believes Mary might still be alive, and he wants to use Jack to go see, and hell, maybe as a weapon, too. Sam needs to believe that Jack can be good and useful to them, and he is not really honest with Jack at first. Dean is right about that.

Dean, though? Dean is completely, 100% honest with Jack in every interaction, no matter how ugly the truth. He tells Jack exactly what he thinks and feels. He has a very reasonable reaction to Jack as a still-unknown cosmic power, and Dean quite reasonably sees him as the reason Cas is dead. Dean is emotional and grieving, but he is honest. Later, as he comes to see Jack as something other than a threat, he is kind to Jack while still being honest. When he comes to love Jack, he loves him honestly. He never lies or manipulates Jack even one time until they lure him into the mal'ak box, and when they talk him into it, Dean can barely look at Jack and makes Sam do the talking, because he really just can't. Lie. To. Jack.

Jack emulates, loves and respects Dean. When Jack thinks Dean has to kill him, he understands and accepts it because he trusts Dean. I think Jack looks to Dean for an honest, clear-eyed assessment of his situation. Cas is blinded by love, Sam is more interested in utility, and Dean is being forced to sacrifice Jack, who has become his and Cas's son -- his family. If Dean can do it, Jack is willing to submit, and then DEAN CAN'T DO IT.

it makes no sense to me to apply real-world child/parent roles to them, to compare Dean with John, who was raising human children, or to think of Jack as an actual human child, and I don't blame Dean for any of it. Dean is so emotionally compromised in so many different ways and I think there is a widespread tendency to begrudge Dean his legitimate feelings when they aren't comfortable, and to apply reality-based roles to these characters who are not at all living normal lives. When it comes down to it, Dean STILL loves Jack (and Cas!) too much to kill Jack or to lie to him, even after Jack oopsie-daisy kills Mary in a moment of uncontrolled panic and has no soul and can't tell right from wrong, and can't even feel remorse. Jack is legitimately dangerous, and Dean is not wrong to try to contain that.

And, by the end of the story, when Dean is saying Jack is not family, not like Cas and Sam are, Dean has lost his compass, and we know that because he also deceives Amara, and tries to kill Sam. Dean is truly in error in those scenes, and doing the wrong things, and seriously, Dean is so good, so self-sacrificing, so full of love that I am able to forgive him a moment of error at the climax of his existential crisis. By that time, Jack is a complex character who is as heavy with grief and guilt as Dean is, and who feels the weight of the world, like Dean does, and who understands Dean.

Is Dean perfect? No. Is Jack a child? No.

I'm just going to say it: I think Dean was a good father to Jack, because what Jack needed more than anything else was honest information about who he was, what threat he posed, who loved him, and HOW to love, so that he could decide who he was and what he wants to be.

He got that from Dean.

[apocalypseornaw]

Wanna be Yours (Pt 2/5)

Sam Winchester x Reader

Sam's starting to develop feelings for you, the problem? He's certain you and Dean are something

@lacilou 's idea

Sam watched you out the corner of his eye. You were sitting cross legged in the middle of Dean's bed in the most recent motel the three of you had stopped at. You'd gotten this case first and had called him and Dean in for the assist. You'd ran across a rather large nest and they were dropping bodies fast.

You had vials of dead man's blood laid out around you and were sharpening machetes. Dean had went to do a quick drive by of the place the nest was held up in which left just you and Sam. The plan was simple, the three of you go in and clear them out then hit the road.

You glanced up after a moment and smiled when you caught his eye. After Hayley's death you and him had become fairly decent friends, you'd call him when you needed to talk about the heavy stuff and he'd confided some things about his own losses.

You were one of the smartest hunters he'd ever met, beautiful and sarcastic enough to rival Dean. You were sweet to those you cared about and any victims you ran across but also fierce as hell when it came down to it. He was beginning to feel things he thought had been buried with Jess, the problem? You were Dean's.

The two of you weren't overly obvious and maybe not even exclusive but the way you two were around each other? You and Dean moved as a unit on hunts, not having to speak to seemingly know what the other wa thinking, he'd say it was a thing of beauty if he wasn't jealous on some level.

He hadn't meant to develop feelings for you, he truly hadn't but it was nearly impossible being in close quarters with you and not.

---------------

You defended him at moments Dean had doubted him, when he got hurt on a hunt you'd patch him up and at bars you'd drag him out on the dance floor laughing like a mad woman when Dean would tease "C'mon Y/N! Don't break Sammy"

He would say he wished he'd met you first but considering you met Dean when you both were nineteen, that wouldn't have changed anything since that would've put him and fifteen.

--------------

He hadn't realized he'd sighed aloud until you spoke his name. He looked up again and you smiled "You good honey? Kind of need your head in the game. Me nor Dean would want anything happening to you"

He nodded "Yeah Y/N, I'm good. I promise" you didn't seem to fully believe him but nodded nonetheless "Ok, ya know you can talk to me. I might not be Dean but I do care about you too" that made him smile more genuinely "I know" before either of you could say anything the door opened and Dean can walking in "Y/N, sweetheart you know how to pick cases don't ya?"

Sam fell back while you and Dean went back and forth teasing each other about past hunts gone weird. The banter between you and his older brother was so damn easy. After a minute you let out a whistle and when he looked up you were standing a little in front of him holding his machete out handle first "Freshly sharpened Mister Winchester" "Thanks Y/N"

"Dammit" you grunted under your breath. There were a few more vamps than you or Dean had thought. "CIRCLE UP" Dean shouted. You and him knew how to move together on hunts as did him and Sam so it was becoming a natural thing for the three of you to move together. The best plan for a nest this large? Keep a tight circle and don't let any between the three of you and make heads roll.

You reached out with your left hand and felt Sam's shoulder. "Well cmon then!" A flurry of movement came next. You would place bets on the three of you over anything, any day.

---------------

Within a few heartbeats the last vamps head was separated from its body and rolling across the floor. You leaned over with your hands on your thighs looking over the carnage surrounding you, blood was smeared across your face but it wasn't yours. You did a quick visual once over of both Winchesters, clocking the bruising starting on Sam's face and Dean favoring his side because him and you both had caught a decent kick to the gut.

All in all the three of you had faired decently enough "Well boys I say we skedaddle a couple counties over and grab some motel rooms then grab some food or some alcohol" "Or both?" Dean added and you winked at him "Reading my mind again Winchester. Tell ya what? I'll race ya for the county line. Winner picks the restaurant and the bar" "On you're on!" He laughed.

Sam shook his head "We gotta clean up after this first you two" you pointed towards him "and that's why he's the Stanford boy. He remembers shit we forget about too quickly" he grinned at your words as the three of you started arranging the bodies to torch the place.

---------------

You stumbled when you grabbed a large body and nearly fell, had Sam not lurched forward to grab you before you could face plant in a puddle of blood. You braced one hand against his chest and he had an arm around your waist to steady you.

You raised an eyebrow at him before saying "Well damn Sam knew you were cute but didn't know you had the whole Disney prince sweep em off their feet thing going on" and was rewarded with a light blush gracing his cheeks before he said "It helps when the princess is slipping on vampire blood" you laughed at the quick come back "Good point"

Dean walked in the room and chuckled "Well what do we have here" Sam looked from you to Dean, his eyes widening "She slipped. I just caught her before she fell.." he made sure you were steady on your feet then quickly let go of you. He grabbed the body you slipped on and disappeared from the room before you or Dean could ask why he was acting weird.

@lacilou

@foxyjwls007

@nelachu2423

[rainroses45]

A Beating Heart

ཐིཋྀ⋆description: To love a spirit is to love everything but life itself, so when dean falls in love with you he falls into your casket (inspired by corpse bride) Dean x f.reader

ཐིཋྀ⋆a/n: guys i think im in love with dean also sam BUT DEAAN..anywho my english professor bailed so i wrote this out of ze boredom hope you enjoy (NOT EDITED)

ཐིཋྀ⋆song inspired: tequila and whiskey and Suffocation

ཐིཋྀ⋆warnings: umm death mention, skeleton, all that death and spirit stuff

Like any unloved thing, i don’t know if I’m real without a sinners touch. I don’t believe he would have seen me as one to love but rather one to tear apart.

My heart may not beat but I still feel it ache for his words. His simple words of “I do,” could calm the spirits around me and see his light.

His brother didn’t understand, the twisted relationship we had. He saw me as a another hunt. I was not his love. I want not to be his wife. I was a translucent window that glimmered under the pomegranates reflection. One. Two. Three. He was mine.

“Why do you look so sad, my dear?” His voice rang through the grove. The gentle wisps of the wind blowed my veil over my face.

“The night is still young Dean, you should return back to your brother.” I whispered. My face was still hidden from his view, but he could still see my eyes shimmer in the moonlight. A liquid so far fetch that it stained my cheeks like glitter.

The ring felt heavy on my finger. It felt like a chain that only I could break - yet he is the one with the key. A pity truly, if only I would have left and never returned to this corrupted world.

“My love, what do you speak about?” He walked over to me, getting down on one knee - a sight i wish to never see again- and brushed the veil over my head.

My eyes could not lie. What about us? What about all the broken happy ever afters? What about our love? I was a spirit. He was a human. I could not live for him and he could not die for me.

“We can’t marry.” The words sound strong yet my bones shake under the truth. “You must burn my body and forget about me.”

“No..no,” he looks at me with disbelief. “I refuse to believe you wish for me to rid you of this world…of this love…of this marriage.”

“It is true my- it is true Dean,” I corrected myself, whole heartily believing this was for the best.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth Y/n,” he grabbed my chin gently raising it to meet his eyes. Oh how I learned every shades of color his eyes presented, when I perish this world I hope to be wrapped under his gaze and nothing more than a hint of hazel to haunt me.

“You know I would haunt this plains with my weeping calls of love for you, but I cannot trap you under the same curse I have endured all these years.” I place my shaking hand on his cheek. His warm skin and the cold breeze felt the same. It was only the emotion that changed, after all I was dead.

“I will die with you,” he stands up abruptly. “I will hang myself where the very man left you and declare my heart as yours-“

“NO!” I reach forward grabbing his hand before he left. “You mustn’t kill yourself over me.”

“That is the only way we can be together,” Dean smiles as he holds both my hands in his. “I’m willing to die for you, and you are willing to do the same for me.”

I shake my head as tears begin to stain my cheeks, “no, I will die for my sake of being free and to give you the chance of love.” He looks at me confused. “Don’t you understand Dean, I’m hurting more here!” I yell, “trapped in this limbo of needing true love and a stupid ring to fulfill this curse, but it’s never enough…it’s never enough.” I whispered my last statement as I look down at my hands. The ring was leaving small burn marks on my hand, little signs of the destruction it will cause.

“I won’t burn your body.” He reaffirms, “I’m not destroying the woman I love, the woman I would give my own life for.”

“Then you leave me no choice.” My eyes began to darken their once ghostly white color turned black. Crows escaped the woods with a heeding call to death. The earth awoken at the call of its roots, simmering in the internal flame of hell.

“Don’t do this Y/n,” he tried to walk towards me but was quickly pushed back with an invisible force. “Sweetheart please, you can’t do this.” He grunted trying to break free.

“If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain,” silent whispers begin to chant as the world began to spin. “In the ice or in the sun, it’s all the same.”

“What are you doing?!” Dean yelled as a circled flame appeared in the middle of the forest.

“Yet I feel my heart is aching; thou it doesn’t beat, it’s breaking,” the crisp voices began to sing louder as the wind brushed my hair from my face.

“Doing something I should have done before,” I cry out to him as I push myself into the fire. “I’m sorry.” I say, a casket began to rise from the ground, a crack in the land of salty seas pooled beneath my feet.

“And the pain here that I feel, try and tell me it’s not real.” The voices echoed through Dean’s head, the sound of the screaming voices scattered his thoughts.

The casket opened revealing a skeleton wearing a tattered wedding dress. Each end of the dress began to burn at the salty taste of my tears. I was left to die, enslaved by my lonely husband, and murdered by the end of the nights howls.

“Please Y/n don’t do this, I beg you please.” He tried pulling away, his body pressed against an oak tree. “I need you.” He didn’t know that his tears fueled the flames, fueled the chanting of within the graveyard of Romeos and Juliets.

I smiled kindly at him as tears blinded my view. Finally, without another thought I said the finale line, “I know that I am dead; yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed.”

And with that a light blinded dean, and the force that once trapped him, faded away with the fire. He ran towards where I once stood and saw nothing but flutters of blue butterflies.

I was gone. I was free. I was loved. As pieces of me left with the lady of the night. A ring stayed there, with the words I wish I could have said.

I love you.

[sweetpapercroissant]

what i think a lot of people don’t get about sam’s motivations in s4 is that. he lost dean. saw him get torn open right in front of him and couldn’t do anything to stop it couldn’t save his brother. and yeah, dean comes back. and that is the only reason sam ever smiles again. the only reason sam lives. because he didn’t want to survive killing lilith, not even in lucifer rising after he’s sure he’s driven away dean for good. because sam doesn’t want to live without dean. he lost him, and just because dean came back doesn’t mean he didn’t still watch him die. just because dean’s alive again doesn’t mean sam didn’t watch him die. sam literally goes mad with grief. dean comes back but sam still has to live with that grief. still has to deal with it and he continues to do that same way he did when dean was dead, by holding on to his anger to drown out everything else. there are other reasons too of course. his shame and guilt about not being able to save dean. but my point is, s4 sam is still grieving. he’s grieving the loss of the one person he loves more than anything else. even when he comes back he can’t talk about it can’t deal with it because there’s 40 years and 4 months between them and they both changed irrevocably in that time and neither could understand what the other went through.

sam can’t possibly grasp what dean had been through. but dean can’t fathom what happened to sam because he truly expected him to heal and move on from his death. because he doesn’t really know (or believe) how much sam loves him, i don’t think either of them did. dean is so integral to sam, tied inside to his very core and when he died all of a sudden sam didn’t care anymore about anyone or anything, himself included. sam who has spent 3 seasons up until then (and in some ways his whole life) scared of turning monstrous runs towards monstrosity and evil with open arms to escape that pain and the prospect of living without dean. and i think fandom and dean himself would have an easier time sympathising with sam and his actions in s4 if they realised that it stems from his grief. of course we don’t have it rubbed in our noses because sam himself is running from that hurt, doesn’t want to face it, especially now that dean’s back because what’s even the point of the pain then? there are other factors and motivations but the heart of it is just that. he loves dean and he lost him and he lost a huge part of himself along with him. one of them came back and the other didn’t.

[chaoticfandomgirly]

If you ask me what was the most heartbreaking scene in supernatural, then sorry to disappoint because it was not when either of the Winchester brothers died or when Cas died, even Bobby, Crowley, Charlie and anyone in the show. Don't get me wrong, these scenes are heartbreaking alright, but dying became such a recurring theme that I found it hard to shed a few tears. I was mostly left with sadness and numbness.

But the scene that really fucked me up was when Sam and Dean coerced Jack into the Ma'alak box. I mean, here is a child who is new to the world that he barely understands, he has a fucked up family tree and powers he doesn't know how to control. He made a mistake because of said powers and wasn't even conscious enough to understand what he'd done. The only people he trusted, the ones he thought of as his fathers, were now plotting to lock him up possibly forever, while his other father figure was missing. This child was there with no one to protect him but himself.

And, to add to this scene, it kind of showed just how far and insane dean had gone. In that moment he became an image of John which was even worse. All of his character arc seemed to have gone down the drain and made him unrecognizable. I think I never hated Dean more than in that moment.

I get that he was grieving Mary, but tbh, she wasn't really mother of the year when she had come back (which I understand). Plus Mary coming back was a big deal in on itself in the first place. She was supposed to be dead (as were a lot of characters). I also believe that Mary shouldn't have provoked Jack when he was in such an emotional state and had been warning her to back off.

I just feel so enraged whenever I think about this scene because Jack, despite being the most anticipated villain in the former seasons, was also the purest and the most well-intentioned character out of them all. I could not find a single fault in him.

I just wish Dean hadn't done that because it doesn't suit him at all after having the reputation of loving kids. Especially not after admitting to being somewhat of a father to Jack. I could understand his initial reservations (even tho I was still furious) but what he did with ma'alak box was after he had a bond with him. And it was definitely not father of the year stuff. Kind of detested Sam too for not protesting enough against Dean but at least he had the decency to feel ashamed and seem regretful. I just, I can't.

I love Dean, truly. But sometimes he is a major asshole and this scene is something I vehemently refuse to believe as canon. I don't like the last 3 season at all in fact.

[stormblessed-s]

Alright, so let’s talk about the season 2 finale. I have two main points I'd like to talk about.

First one: Dean's sacrifice to get Sam back.

I knew it was coming, so this time around I could pay more attention to details during the whole season. We could see something like that was building up since John's death.

Dean never accepted John's sacrifice, not really. Knowing that his father made a deal with the very demon they had spent their lives hunting down, and knowing he did that to bring Dean back to life, broke him. It became quite clear that he felt undeserving of it. Most episodes this season we can feel Dean's anger and self-loathing, and all this goes back to John's sacrifice; Dean really believes he should have died that night and stayed dead.

His behavior gets erratic, he's always on edge. Dean's always been more of an action kind of guy, but he gets more reckless as episodes go by. In his mind, he shouldn't be alive anymore, so he doesn't care much about what could happen to him.

And then we get to episode 21 and Sam dies. That’s when Dean reaches his breaking point. He had already lost his father; he was not willing to lose his brother too. So he does what he had been entertaining on doing since “Crossroad Blues”; he summons a demon and makes a deal to get Sam back, in exchange for his own soul.

I’m not gonna lie, when I watched this the first time, I thought Dean was kind of a hypocrite, because he resented John for his decision, but ended up taking the same path when faced with similar circumstances. Rewatching it now, I don’t think my first assessment was actually wrong, but there’s more to Dean’s motivations than just selfishness.

John had given him a mission; he had to keep Sam safe and find a way to save him, but Dean failed. And in failing, he also lost the only thing he had left in the world; his brother. And when we take into consideration that Dean truly believed he shouldn’t be alive anymore, along with his tendency to do anything within his reach to protect his family... Well, maybe it was kinda selfish and hypocritical of him, but it was so in character as well. There was nothing Dean wouldn't do to protect his brother, and he proved that when he accepted that deal.

(Also, I don't think Dean would have the strength to keep going and living his life without Sam, at least not at that point. He had just lost his father, there was no way he would be able to move on from these traumas by himself. Dean is a lot of things, but he's not the best when it comes to dealing with his grief.)

And then we get to my second point: Sam.

I don't even have enough words to describe how much this boy broke my heart this season.

After the death of their father, he was forced to watch, powerless, his big brother spiraling into something he had never seen before. It was so sad how he tried to do his best to help Dean, just for Dean to shut down every one of his attempts. And the way Jared played everything was just great; I suffered with him the entire time, could almost feel Sam’s pain as if my own. And for me, who’s never been much of a Sam fan, it was kinda surprising how empathetic I ended up being with his struggles.

Then, Sam died, and everything went to shit. And now I’m here, getting all emotional because Sam has to deal with the fact that his big brother is going to die in a year and again he has no idea what he can do to help him. (Yeah, we all know Dean’s gonna be back, but Sam doesn’t know that at that point, so I’m going along with it and allowing myself to feel sorry for him.)

The satisfaction I felt when they killed the yellow-eyed demon doesn’t compare to the emotional trauma this show causes… there’s so much angst, dear lord. But even though they break my heart, I still love this show a lot so… I regret nothing.

[violetpurpleviolet]

Supernatural , Season 6 , Episode 10

Caged Heart

hihihihi excited to watch

Oooh, Crowley torturing Crowley. It's the alpha shapeshifter? Oh, he's torturing the kids? Oh no :(

Meg? Does she never die?? Seriously, they need to kill her instead of exorcising her every time.

I think Cas secretly wanted a reprieve, even if Sam did blackmail him. I feel as though he wanted a break from the war? Spend some time, like old times, with the brothers? Because of simple blackmail from Sam when he doesn't even know how to kill him. I don't believe it.

"Its very complex"

"Mhmm"

"If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear?"

"Perhaps she's done something wrong."

"Youre watching porn. Why?"

"Well, it was there."

"You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes, and you don't talk about it."

The way Cas slowly looks down is killing me.

What? He doesn't think retrieving Sam's soul is wise? Because he wants him to survive? Oh. Tortured soul? Oh no. This is worse.

Dean the hypocrite. He just told Samuel to stop getting back Mary and then now he's saying hell try whatever to get Sam's soul back.

Why aren't they helping the people to get out? Because they're most likely shifters or vampires? But what if they're like that one vampire who drinks only cattle blood, like the Cullens.

What the FUCK? Why are Cas and Meg kissing? lol, she stole the angelic weapon. And Cas just let her take it.

I don't think Crowley would take the risk of locking up Sam and Dean; he would have had them killed immediately, and he wouldn't estimate the boys like that. But okay.

"Im standing in pee" "Consider yourself lucky"

From the guy who was pouting when he lost his shoe. He truly is soulless. ( I miss Sam.)

What the fuck is Sam doing? Did he just bite himself? Where did they take Dean? Oh my god, what is with the random gore here? Ah, vampires, they fed Dean to vampires. Oh, he used his blood to draw a Pentagon, damn smart. Is he so tall he can reach the ceiling, though? Probably, probably.

Whattttt. Is Crowley dead??? Wow.

I was right. He does want to be here. Hehehehehehe yay.

Sam doesn't want his soul. I can get why Sam feels like that, but that's also so dumb?

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Asylum | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (Eventual)

Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, mentions of parental abuse (take care of yourselves my lovebugs)

Word Count: 5444

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You and the boys had bonded quite a lot since Kansas. You and Sam had always been close; bonding over random pop culture debates, philosophical musings, and your interest in the pursuit of knowledge. It was your relationship with Dean that was really starting to confuse you.

You knew you were attracted to him; that much you had never denied. But it was the way your heart seemed to tug toward him in your chest when you two made your pinky promise next to his car that confused the hell out of you. You and Dean were friends, and that was truly all you needed from him. Or, at least, that was what you told yourself.

Sam was on the phone with one of his father’s friends named Caleb. The boys were growing frustrated at their inability to find him. Every lead they followed was a dead end. 

“You know, maybe we should call the Feds. File a missing person’s,” Sam suggested.

“We've talked about this. Dad'd be pissed if we put the Feds on his tail,” Dean rebutted.

Sam shook his head. “I don't care anymore.”

Dean’s cell phone rang on the bed next to you. You got up to bring it over to him. 

“After all that happened back in Kansas, I mean, he should've been there, Dean. You said so yourself. You tried to call him and… nothing. You know, he could be dead for all we know.”

Dean took the phone from you. “Don't say that! He's not dead! He's – he's…”

“He's what? He's hiding? He's busy?” Sam argued.

Dean went to respond, but the message on his cell phone caught his attention. “Huh. I don't believe it.”

“What?” you asked, peering over his shoulder.

“It's, uh, it's a text message. It's coordinates.” Dean immediately opened his laptop and began clacking away.

“You think Dad was texting us?” Sam asked.

“He's given us coordinates before,” Dean said.

“The man can barely work a toaster, Dean.”

“Sam, it's good news! It means he's okay, or alive at least.”

“Well, was there a number on the caller ID?”

“Nah, it said 'unknown,’ “ Dean replied.

“Well, where do the coordinates point?”

“That's the interesting part. Rockford, Illinois.”

“Interesting how?” you asked him.

“I checked the local Rockford paper. Take a look at this.” He handed the paper to you. “This cop, Walter Kelly, comes home from his shift, shoots his wife, then puts the gun in his mouth, blows his brains out. And earlier that night, Kelly and his partner responded to a call at the Roosevelt Asylum.”

“Okay, I'm not following. What has this have to do with us?” Sam questioned.

“Dad earmarked the same asylum in the journal. Let’s see…” Dean flipped to the page. “Here. Seven unconfirmed sightings, two deaths; till last week at least. I think this is where he wants us to go.”

Sam snorted. “This is a job. Dad wants us to work a job.”

“Well, maybe we'll meet up with him? Maybe he's there?”

“Maybe he's not? I mean, he could be sending us there, by ourselves, to hunt this thing.”

“Who cares! If he wants us there, it's good enough for me!”

“Guys—” Their bickering had gotten more frequent in days of late, and it was beginning to bug the shit out of you.

“This doesn't strike you as weird? The texting? The coordinates?” Sam pressed.

“Sam! Dad's tellin' us to go somewhere, we're goin'.”

Sam made a bitchface at his brother and sighed.

***

Your destination was a bar in Rockford you had stalked the cop you knew was the partner of the deceased. You found him sitting at the bar, nursing a beer. You monitored the scene from a few tables behind. Dean was to meet you there after his interaction with the cop.

“You're Daniel Gunderson. You're a cop, right?” he asked.

The cop nodded.

“Huh. I'm uh, Nigel Tufnel, The Chicago Tribune. Mind if I ask you a couple of questions, about your partner?” he asked enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I do. I'm just tryin' to have a beer here.”

“That's okay, I swear it won't take that long. I just want to get the story in your words,” Dean continued.

The cop was not amused. “A week ago, my partner was sitting in that chair. Now he's dead. You gonna ambush me here?”

“Sorry. But I need to know what happened.”

Sam came up and pushed Dean aside roughly. “Hey buddy, why don't you leave the poor guy alone! The man's an officer! Why dontcha show a little respect!”

He was calling an unnecessary amount of attention to himself that amused you slightly. Dean paused, glaring before walking over to you.

“Spinal Tap?” you questioned, laughing, referencing his fake name. “Seriously?” The two of you began walking out of the bar over to the Impala. 

“What? It’s a classic!”

“I’m not arguing that,” you said. “But what are the chances he knew your reference?” You sat on the hood next to Dean.

“Oh, come on, we’re probably the only two people in Rockford who even know what Spinal Tap is,” he remarked.

A moment of silence passed between the two of you. 

“How’s your neck healing?” Dean asked.

You turned your neck up to him. There was still quite a bit of bruising from the way you were strangled back in Kansas. He sucked in air through his teeth. “That’s gotta hurt, huh?” 

“Meh, a bit,” you answered. “I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”

He rolled his eyes at you. “Are we ever gonna talk about Kansas?”

“Hmm… I did pinky-promise,” you jested. 

“That you did.” He looked at you expectantly.

You sighed. “My dad was uh, a bit of an asshole. The man’s dead and I still can’t decide if I love or hate him. He was mean. And that’s putting it mildly. For instance, like, one time, I missed a shot on a hunt, and he beat me til I was black and blue later that night. Said it was gonna make me sharper, and he’d rather me hate him than fuck up again like that on a hunt. I was twelve.”

“Wow,” Dean responded quietly. “How young were you when he started taking you on hunts?”

“Ten.”

“Holy crap. Could you even hold a gun at that age?’

“Please, I’ve been able to hold a gun since I was four. He said I needed a dose of reality if I wanted to complain so much about being in the motel room with my brother.”

He nodded. “How much younger was your brother?”

“Two years.” You smiled at the memory of him, but your smile quickly faded. “I, uh, took beatings for him a lot.”

Dean nodded again. He paused for a moment. “I’m sorry.”

You shrugged and sighed. “It’s over now.”

“Yeah, but I know it still hurts.”

You don’t know what made you do it, but you leaned your head on his shoulder. He tensed under you briefly, but let you keep your head there. 

You hadn’t noticed Sam walked out of the bar and was approaching the two of you. “You two look cozy.”

You jerked away from Dean. 

“Bite me,” the older Winchester answered. "Shoved me kinda hard in there, buddy boy.”

“I had to sell it, didn't I? It's method acting,” Sam quipped.

Dean looked confused.

“Never mind.”

“What'd you find out from Gunderson?” you asked.

“So, Walter Kelly was a good cop. Head of his class, even-keeled, he had a bright future ahead of him.”

“What about at home?”

“He and his wife had a few fights, like everybody, but he was mostly smooth sailing. They were even talking about having kids.”

“Alright, so either Kelly had some deep-seated crazy waiting to bust out, or something else did it to him,” Dean nodded. “What'd Gunderson tell you about the asylum?”

“A lot.” Sam filled you in on the local legends and experiences teens had in the place. Kids frequently dared each other to spend the night because it was said everyone who stayed all night went crazy. 

You and the boys arrived at the asylum a little while later. The interior of the building was gray and gloomy. Metal carts were laying on their sides, vials spilled all over the ground, and you were sure you would find needles sticking out of the soles of your boots by the end of the endeavor. Dust covered every surface, flaring up your allergy, and every few minutes you were sneezing. 

“So apparently the cops chased the kids here… into the south wing,” Sam described, gesturing to the sign above the door.

“South wing, huh? Wait a second…” He pulled out his dad’s journal. “1972. Three kids broke into the south wing, only one survived. Way he tells it, one of his friends went nuts and started lighting up the place.”

“So whatever's going on, the south wing is the heart of it,” you continued.

“But if the kids are spelunking the asylum, why aren't there a ton more deaths?” Dean questioned.

You noticed a broken chain on one of the doors. “Looks like the doors are usually chained. Could've been chained up for years. Keep people out or keep something in.”

Sam slowly pushed the door open, and the three of you began heading down the hallway. 

“Let me know if you see any dead people, Haley Joel,” Dean remarked at his brother. He was passing his EMF meter over various surfaces in the hallway.

“Dude, enough,” Sam groaned.

“I'm serious. You gotta be careful, all right? Ghosts are attracted to that whole ESP thing you got going on.”

“I told you, it's not ESP! I just have strange vibes sometimes. Weird dreams.”

“And that’s not ESP?” you quipped. 

Sam made a face at you. “Okay, maybe it is, but—”

You snickered.

“Not funny, (Y/N/N).” He playfully shoved your shoulder. “You get any reading on that thing or not?”

Dean shook his head. “Nope. Of course, it doesn't mean no one's home.”

“Spirits can appear during certain hours of the day.”

“Yeah, the freaks come out at night.”

“Hey, Sam, who do you think is the hotter psychic: Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you?” Dean deadpanned.

You and Dean laughed, and Sam shoved the both of you. The three of you entered another room. You looked around, a sinking feeling hitting your stomach.

“Man. Electro-shock. Lobotomies. They did some twisted stuff to these people,” you shook your head.

“Kinda like my man Jack in Cuckoo's Nest.” Dean made crazy eyes and grinned at you and Sam.

Sam ignored him and his smile dropped. 

“So. Whaddaya think? Ghosts possessing people?” Dean questioned.

“Maybe. Or maybe it's more like Amityville, or the Smurl hunting,” Sam suggested.

“Spirits driving them insane. Kinda like my man Jack in The Shining.” Dean grinned again.

“You are such a nerd,” you mumbled.

“Hey, don’t talk about Sam like that,” Dean gibed back, even though he knew you were talking about him.

“Dean. When are we going to talk about it?” Sam asked his brother.

“Talk about what?”

“About the fact Dad's not here.”

Dean clicked his tongue. “Oh. I see. How ’bout… never.”

“I'm being serious, man. He sent us here.”

“So am I, Sam. Look, he sent us here, he obviously wants us here,” said Dean gruffly. “We'll pick up the search later.”

“It doesn't matter what he wants.”

“See. That attitude? Right there? That is why I always get the extra cookie.”

You scoffed. “C’mon, guys, cut it out.”

Sam ignored you. “Dad could be in trouble; we should be looking for him. We deserve some answers, Dean. I mean, this is our family we're talking about.”

“I understand that, Sam, but he's given us an order.”

You loved Sam, but you were on Dean’s side. Your father’s training probably programmed you that way.

“So, what, we gotta always follow Dad's orders?” Sam bit back.

“Of course we do.”

Sam huffed frustratedly. Dean stared back and then turned away, ending the conversation.

You started poking around the room a bit more. You picked up a dusty sign off the floor and sneezed again. “ 'Sanford Ellicott'... You know what we gotta do. We gotta find out more about the south wing. See if something happened here.” You put the sign back down and walked away from the boys. 

***

You and Dean dropped Sam off at a therapy session with Sanford Ellicott’s son, James Ellicott. You figured it was the best way to get information from someone close to the situation. In the meantime, you and Dean spent some time hanging out in the Impala. 

Conversation between the two of you never felt forced. You still enjoyed pushing each other’s buttons, but you genuinely got along very well.

“Okay, so, I told you about my fucked up family, you need to talk about yours,” you told Dean. 

He scoffed and gave you a bitchface. “Says who?”

“Says me. Now, spill.”

Dean seemed uncomfortable.

You took the hint. “Okay, if you don’t wanna talk about it now, will you tell me at some point?”

He nodded and stuck out his pinky with a smirk. “Promise.”

A smile spread across your face and you linked his finger with yours. “Okay, then. Different question. What’s your favorite color?”

He scoffed lightheartedly. “What?”

“I’m serious! What’s your favorite color? Mine’s (Y/F/C).”

“Blue,” he answered. 

“Like, baby blue or navy blue?”

“Definitely closer to navy,” he told you. He was eyeing you strangely again.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” you asked him.

“You… confuse me.”

“Oh?” You raised a brow. “Why?”

He shook his head. The one thing you hated about Dean was his inability to talk about quite literally any of his feelings. 

“Will you ever tell me why?” you asked.

He nodded and stuck out his pinky again. You smiled warmly and took it.

***

“He’s been in there for-fucking-ever,” you groaned, pushing yourself off the wall of the building. 

As if on cue, Sam walked out at that moment. 

“Dude! What the hell were you talking about?” you asked as you headed back to the car with the brothers. 

“Just the hospital, you know,” Sam responded.

“And...?” Dean pushed.

“And the south wing? It's where the housed the really hard cases. The psychotics, the criminally insane.”

“Sounds cozy.”

“Yeah. And one night in '64, they rioted. Attacked staff. Attacked each other.”

“So the patients took over the asylum?” you questioned.

“Apparently,” Sam answered.

“Any deaths?”

“Some patients, some staff. I guess it was pretty gory. Some of the bodies were never even recovered, including our chief of staff, Ellicott.”

“Awesome. What do you mean ‘never recovered’?”

“Cops scoured every inch of the place but I guess the patients must've...stuffed the bodies somewhere hidden.”

“That's grim,” the older brother commented.

“Yeah. So, they transferred all the remaining patients and closed the hospital down,” Sam explained.

“So, to sum it up, we've got a bunch of violent deaths and a bunch of unrecovered bodies.”

“And a bunch of angry spirits.”

Dean chuckled humorlessly. “Good times. Let's check out the hospital tonight.”

***

You held a shotgun full of rock salt round, Sam a video camera and flashlight, and Dean his EMF meter.

“Getting readings?” Sam asked as you walked down the labyrinth of hallways in the asylum.

“Yeah, big time,” his brother responded.

“This place is orbing like crazy.”

“All of these unrecovered bodies are probably causing it,” you added.

“We gotta find ’em and burn ’em. Just be careful though. The only thing that makes me more nervous than a pissed off spirit... is the pissed off spirit of a psycho killer.” Dean’s unwavering confidence cracked a little in a rare moment of vulnerability.

The three of you continued searching. You and Sam split off to one room and Dean took another. You looked around the debris scattered through the room to try and find some of the bodies.

Sam’s yelp caused you to wheel around “(Y/N), shotgun!” he called to you

You came up behind him. “Sam, drop!”

He obeyed and you shot the apparition in front of him square in the face.

Dean came running into the room. “What happened?”

“That was weird.” Sam was breathless when he got up from the ground. 

You furrowed your eyebrows at him as the three of you made your way out of the room. “Why?”

“She didn't attack me,” the younger brother replied.

“Looked pretty aggro from where I was standing,” you retorted.

“She didn't hurt me. She didn't even try! So if she didn't wanna hurt me then what did she want?”

You shook your head and shrugged. You and the brothers jerked in the direction of a sound coming from a room you were passing. You raised your shotgun, and your eyes flicked to Sam’s. He nodded at you to go into the room first. You approached a ragged metal bed that had been turned on its side in the corner of the room. You could see something hiding behind it. 

Sam tipped the bed over and you aimed the shotgun at the thing behind it. However, the girl hiding behind it screeched and jerked further back into the corner.

“It's alright,” Dean told her, “we're not going to hurt you. It's okay. What's your name?”

“Katherine. Kat.”

“Okay. I'm Dean, this is Sam and (Y/N).”

“What are you doing here!?” you asked her.

“Um, my boyfriend, Gavin,” she replied shakily.

“Is he here?” Dean questioned.

Kat nodded. “Somewhere. He thought it would be fun, try and see some ghosts. I thought it was all just… you know. Pretend. I've seen things. I heard Gavin scream and…” she trailed off, tears welling in her eyes.

“Alright. Kat? Come on. Sam's gonna get you out of here and then we're gonna find your boyfriend.” Dean gestured between the two of you.

“No! No,” she protested. “I'm not going to leave without Gavin. I'm coming with you.”

“It's no joke around here, okay. It's dangerous,” Dean responded.

“That's why I gotta find him.”

You looked over at Sam, who shrugged.

“Alright, I guess we gonna split up then. Let's go,” Dean commanded your group. Kat went with Dean and you headed off with Sam. You kept your shotgun raised just behind Sam, tension gripping your chest.

“Gavin.... Gavin?” Sam called.

A few minutes of walking later, you noticed a figure on the ground unconscious. Sam crouched to wake the boy up, and you lowered your gun. 

Gavin awoke and freaked out, pushing himself away from you and Sam.

You were consistently impressed by Sam’s ability to calm others down. “Hey, Gavin. It's okay, We’re here to help.”

Gavin calmed down considerably, but still sounded slightly panicked. “Who are you?”

“My name is Sam, this is (Y/N). Uh, we found your girlfriend.”

“Kat?” Gavin got up from the floor. “Is she alright?”

“Yeah. She's worried about you. Are you okay?” you asked.

“I was running. I think I fell.”

“Running from… what?” you questioned.

“There was...there was this girl. Her face. It was all messed up,” he explained.

“Okay listen, did this girl... did she try and hurt you?” Sam asked.

Gavin looked back at Sam and shook his head. “What? No, she... uh…”

“She what?”

“She kissed me.” Gavin’s cheeks flared in embarrassment.

Sam seemed to feel uncomfortable, too. “Uh, um, but- but she didn't hurt you, physically?”

His eyes widened. “Dude! She kissed me. I'm scarred for life!” 

“Well, trust me, it could have been a lot worse,” you snickered. “Do you remember anything else?”

“She uh, actually, she tried to whisper something in my ear.”

“What?”

Gavin shook his head. “I don't know. I ran like hell.”

You scrubbed a hand over your eyes. “Okay, let’s go.”

The three of you went walking on, only to hear a female scream and Dean calling Kat’s name. The three of you broke off running toward the sound. 

“What's going on?” you asked Dean as you approached him. He was trying to jimmy open a heavy metal door with a pipe.

“She's inside with one of them,” the older Winchester explained.

“Help me!” Kat screamed from the inside.

“Kat!” her boyfriend called back.

“Get me outta here!”

Sam pushed Gavin back to get against the door. “Kat, it's not going to hurt you. Listen to me. You've got to face it. You've got to calm down.”

You and Dean turned to Sam. “She's gotta what?!” you exclaimed in unison.

“These spirits, they're not trying to hurt us, they're trying to communicate. You gotta face it. You gotta listen to it,” Sam urged.

“You face it!” Kat protested.

“No! It's the only way to get out of there.”

“No!” she cried.

“Look at it, come on. You can do it,” Sam told her.

And then, quiet. There was nothing for a few minutes.

“Kat?” Gavin called through the door.

You and the brothers backed away from it. “Man, I hope you're right about this,” Dean told his brother.

“Yeah, me too.”

At that moment, the lock clicked and the door slowly opened. Kat stood in the doorway, shock overcoming her face. 

“Oh, Kat.” Gavin hugged his girlfriend.

You headed into the room Kat had been locked in. Nothing. You came back out and shook your head at the brothers.

“One thirty-seven,” Kat muttered.

Dean quirked a brow. “Sorry?”

“It whispered in my ear. One thirty-seven.”

“Room number,” you and the boys muttered in sync.

The three of you crouched along the wall and led the teenagers back to the exit. Sam was to take them out of the asylum while you and Dean went to investigate room 137.

You sneezed again for the umpteenth time. Your eyes were itching you, too.

“Are you allergic to me or something?” Dean asked you as you moved down the hall toward room 137.

You giggled. “No. Dust.”

“Aw, sweetheart—” he mocked, “—don’t worry, I’ll protect you from the dust bunnies.”

You rubbed your nose and sniffed. “I’m gonna kill you.” You pushed against the door of room 137, only to meet major resistance. You figured there was a bunch of furniture blocking it.

“Move, move,” Dean told you. Of course, he shoved the door open with ease. He looked at you smugly.

“Whatever,” you deadpanned, pushing past him into the room. You moved your flashlight around the dark room, finding tons of papers scattered over the floor. Filing cabinets were laying on their sides and a desk was completely broken in half. You sifted through folders in one of the only upright file cabinets. 

Dean was behind you, and you could hear wood creaking. He grunted. You turned to see him trying to pry a wood panel off the wall.

“Need help, princess?” you asked.

“No,” he grunted once more, finally jerking the panel off. Inside was a satchel that was relatively dust free. “This is why I get paid the big bucks.”

You rolled your eyes at him. 

The two of you pulled up chairs next to one another and began flipping through the journal inside the satchel. There were mad scribblings and hand-drawn pictures of the strangest medical instruments.

“Well, all work and no play makes Dr. Ellicott a very dull boy,” Dean remarked.

“This is insane,” you muttered, disgust overtaking you as you read the doctor’s accounts of what he had done to his patients. 

“Yeah, I want this fucker nice and crispy,” Dean said. “C’mon.” 

He led you back to the exit of the asylum, and Dean jerked back into you suddenly at the sound of a shotgun. 

“Damn it, damn it, don't shoot! It's us!” Dean called, trying to catch his breath.

You heard Kat from around the corner next. “Sorry! Sorry.”

“Son of a…” Dean huffed out a quick breath. He led you around the corner. “What are you still doing here?! Where's Sam?”

“He went to the basement. You called him,” Gavin said, looking at Dean dumbfounded.

“We didn’t call anybody,” you returned.

“His cell phone rang. He said it was Dean.” Kat was confused, too.

You and Dean came to the realization of what happened. 

“Fuck,” you muttered. “Basement, huh?”

Dean found Sam’s discarded duffel bag and grabbed an extra handgun. He handed it to you and grabbed a shotgun for himself. “Alright. Watch yourselves. And watch out for me!”

***

You and Dean had your guards up immediately upon entering the basement. The two of you called out to Sam, only to get no response. When you turned around, however, Sam was right in front of you. “Holy shit, dude!” you lowered your handgun. “I almost shot you.”

“Man, answer me when I'm calling you! You alright?” Dean said.

Sam sounded different to you. “Yeah. I'm fine.”

You eyed him strangely. 

“You know it wasn't me who called your cell, right?” his older brother told him.

“Yeah, I know. I think something lured me down here.”

“I think I know who. Dr. Ellicott. That's what the spirits have been trying to tell us. You haven't seen him, have you?” 

Sam shook his head. “No. How do you know it was him?”

“’Cause we found his log book. Apparently he was experimenting on his patients, awful stuff. Makes lobotomies look like a couple of aspirin,” Dean retorted.

Sam’s face was set in hard lines. He was scaring you, if you were honest. “But it was the patients who rioted.”

“Yeah. They were rioting against Dr. Ellicott. Dr. Feelgood was working on some sort of, like, extreme rage therapy. He thought that if he could get his patients to vent their anger then they would be cured of it. Instead it only made them worse and worse and angrier and angrier. So I'm thinking, what if his spirit is doing the same thing? To the cop? To the kids in the seventies, making them so angry they become homicidal,“ Dean went on. “Come on, we gotta find his bones and torch ’em.”

You continued to eye Sam, not quite sure what was going on with him. 

“How? The police never found his body.” Sam’s movements were almost robotic.

“The log book said he had some sort of hidden procedure room down here somewhere where he'd work on his patients. So, if I was a patient I'd drag his ass down here, do a little work on it myself.”

“I don't know, it sounds kinda…”

“Crazy?”

Sam nodded.

Dean motioned for his brother to follow him into the next room. You continued to watch Sam carefully, and the sly look he gave his brother did not escape you.

“I told you I looked everywhere. I didn't find a hidden room,” Sam said.

“Well, that's why they call it hidden.”

You shushed the boys. “You hear that?” You crouched to the ground and Dean followed suit. 

Sam was still standing behind him. “What?”

“There's a door here.” Dean felt along the wall until he found it.

“Dean.” You heard a gun click behind you. “Step back from the door.”

You and Dean rose from the ground with your hands raised. Blood was trickling down Sam’s face from his nose. 

“Sam, put the gun down,” Dean pleaded quietly.

Sam’s voice was hard. “Is that an order?”

Dean shook his head. “Nah, it's more of a friendly request.”

Sam pointed the gun straight at Dean’s chest. “ ’Cause I'm getting pretty tired of taking your orders.”

“Sam, stop it,” you told him. “I fucking knew it. Ellicott did something to you.”

“(Y/N), for once in your life, just shut your mouth.”

You knew it wasn’t Sam talking and you tried not to take offense.

“What are you gonna do, Sam? Gun's filled with rock salt. It's not gonna kill me,” Dean bit back.

Sam shot Dean square in the chest. The shot threw him backward through the hidden door. “No. But it will hurt like hell.”

“Dean!” you cried, rushing to his aid. 

“Get back, (Y/N),” Sam demanded. 

“What the fuck, Sam? Cut it out!”

Dean grabbed your arm, doing his best to silence you and steady himself. “We gotta burn Ellicott's bones and all this will be over, and you'll be back to normal.”

“I am normal. I'm just telling the truth for the first time. I mean, why are we even here? ’Cause you're following Dad's orders like a good little soldier? Because you always do what he says without question? Are you that desperate for his approval?” the younger brother spat.

“This isn't you talking, Sam,” Dean groaned, head lolling back against the floor.

Sam tapped the gun to the side of his head. “That's the difference between you and me. I have a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic, like you.”

“So what are you gonna do, huh? Are you gonna kill me? Then (Y/N)?”

Sam laughed bitterly. “You know what, I am sick of doing what you tell me to do. We're no closer to finding Dad today than we were six months ago.”

“Well, then here. Let me make it easier for you." He held his treasured handgun out to Sam.

“Dean, no,” you pleaded, grabbing his wrist. The look he gave you told you to trust him. “Come on. Take it. Real bullets are gonna work a hell of a lot better than rock salt.”

Sam hesitated.

“Take it!” Dean commanded.

He did, and pointed the gun straight at Dean’s face. 

Dean laughed humorlessly. “You hate me that much? You think you could kill your own brother? Then go ahead. Pull the trigger. Do it!” 

Sam pulled the trigger. The gun clicked, but no bullet left it. He tried once again. You took the opportunity to kick Sam square in the stomach, knocking him to the floor and winding him. 

Dean scrambled to his feet. “Man, I'm not going to give you a loaded pistol!”

Sam stared up at him with venomous disdain, only to receive a wicked right cross from Dean. Sam was knocked out cold.

“Sorry, Sammy.” Dean patted his brother’s head on the ground.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

He nodded. “Let’s just get this over with.”

The two of you found the rotting corpse of Dr. Ellicott behind a cupboard door. The smell nearly knocked you out. “Holy hell.”

Dean covered his nose with the back of his hand. “Oh, that's just gross.”

You pinched your nose with one hand and salted the body while Dean covered it in kerosene. “Soak it up,” he told the doctor. The two of you went to stand, only to be knocked to the floor by a gurney flying across the room.

You looked up to see the ghost of Dr. Ellicott right above you. “Don’t be afraid.” The doctor grabbed your face. “I'm going to help you. I'm going to make you all better.” His fingertips felt like they were burning holes into your skull.

You wailed in agony. And suddenly, he backed away from you. You dropped to the ground and looked up to see the doctor turning black and falling to the floor in front of you, crumbling on impact. 

You turned your head toward Dean. “Thanks.” You knew he had lit the corpse on fire while the doctor was distracted with you.

“Don’t mention it.”

You turned to the sound of Sam moaning from a distance away.

“You're not going to try and kill us, are ya?” Dean asked him.

Sam flexed his jaw painfully. “No.”

“Good. Because that would be awkward.”

After the three of you bid goodbye to Gavin and Kat, you were on the road again.

“Hey, Dean?” Sam said.

His brother turned to face him.

“I'm sorry, man. I said some awful things back there.”

Dean’s tone was guarded. “You remember all that?”

“Yeah. It's like I couldn't control it. But I didn't mean it, any of it,” Sam told him. 

The older brother didn’t sound convinced. “You didn't, huh?”

“Dean—” you started.

Sam cut you off. “No, of course not! Do we need to talk about this?”

Dean turned his attention back to the road. “No. I'm not really in the sharing and caring kinda mood. I just wanna get some sleep.”

“Ditto,” you mumbled, stretching out over the backseat. 

Soon enough, you and the boys arrived back in your respective motel rooms. You’d decided to get some shut-eye before heading out to your next adventure. You awoke hours later to the sound of your cell phone ringing. You picked it up, not recognizing the number at all. 

You shot straight up at the sound of the man’s introduction. “John?!”

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @iloveshawn @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @davina-clairee @chervbs @thepocketverse @simpingdeadcharacters @elqsiian @stillhere197 @stephshaww @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @here-for-the-extravaganza @seninjakitey

Quite a few tags were broken; sorry lovebugs! :(

[wheretosearchforsnow]

Destiel in Season 4 and 5 of Supernatural and Death of God

German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche’s well-known phrase “God is dead,” introducing the idea of the missing God, laid the foundation for one of the most important topics in the 20th century Existentialist Movement. The possibility of God’s non-existence means that everything that is possible to happen can happen, and if everything is allowed, how can man choose? How can man know how to live? If everything is allowed, can we define right from wrong?

Such questions are asked on Supernatural, with the character Castiel first appearing at the end of the first episode in the fourth season, which marked the series’ introduction of Christian mythology as a central them ever since. Castiel, an Angel of the Lord, initially shows complete devotion to God and identifies as servant of heaven:

CASTIEL: We have no choice. DEAN: Of course you have a choice. I mean, come on, what? You’ve never questioned a crap order, huh? What are you both, just a couple of hammers? CASTIEL: Look, even if you can’t understand it, have faith. The plan is just. SAM: How can you even say that? CASTIEL: Because it comes from heaven, that makes it just. - 4.07 It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

This argument on the morality behind the act of “purifying a city” or “taking one thousand two hundred fourteen lives” between Castiel and the Winchesters is not dissimilar with Danish theologian Søren Kierkegaard’s discussion on Abraham's sacrifice of Isaac. When Abraham was told that as a result of God's will that he must sacrifice his son Isaac, he was in a kind of either-or. If the message is genuinely from God, then he must sacrifice Isaac and it is the right thing to do; but if the message is not from God, then he would be committing what would be the very worst possible crime judged on the basis of Abraham's own view of human ethics.

The dichotomy here, between Castiel’s and Dean’s rationales, is that while the former believes there is a God and God and religion (in other words, heaven’s plan for earth) are the most important things, and man must do nothing but obey heaven’s command, the latter insists that there is no God and it is for man to take the total burden of responsibility for the world and for himself upon his own shoulders, with no one to give him any sign.

Though the former seems to suggest a lack of agency or necessity for decision making in moral judgement, as the plot unfolds, we see Castiel demonstrate a sense of uncertainty, the very secret he voices in the conversation with Dean in the episode’s epilogue.

CASTIEL: I’m not a… hammer as you say. I have questions, I have doubts. I don’t know what is right and what is wrong anymore, whether you passed or failed here. But in the coming months you will have more decisions to make. I don’t envy the weight that’s on your shoulders, Dean. I truly don’t. - 4.07 It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

This mirrors Kierkegaard’s Abraham in his questions on God’s will. Indeed, how is one to know whether the command is from God or not? If an angel speaks to him, how does Abraham know it's not a hallucination? And if God himself speaks, how is Abraham, or Castiel, to know whether this is really God or whether the command is their own inward evil wishes? Nobody but Abraham, or Castiel, can decide and they cannot tell within his life whether he has done the right thing or not.

Perhaps it is this introspective nature in Castiel that draws him close to Dean, the human in his charge, and by implication humanity. Dean, a firm non-believer and what many, including himself, perceive to be as farthest from being servant of God as possible, detests the idea of God even in face of angels walking the earth.

DEAN: God? CASTIEL: Yes. DEAN: God. CASTIEL: Yes! He isn't in heaven. He has to be somewhere. DEAN: Try New Mexico. I hear he's on a tortilla. CASTIEL: No, he's not on any flatbread. DEAN: Listen, Chuckles, even if there is a God, he is either dead—and that's the generous theory— CASTIEL: He is out there, Dean. DEAN: —or he's up and kicking and doesn't give a rat's ass about any of us. CASTIEL glares. DEAN: I mean, look around you, man. The world is in the toilet. We are literally at the end of days here, and he's off somewhere drinking booze out of a coconut. All right? - 5.02 Good God, Y'all

Dean has no intention of trying to prove that God does not exist, as one cannot prove a negative, but the very specific objection to the traditional concept of God above parallels with the simple objection in many existentialists work that is based upon the injustice of the universe. Albert Camus has given this same type of criticism in his novel, "The Plague", in which the priest, Padalu, confesses that he is not able to understand how there can be any justification so that even eternal paradise could cancel out the sufferings here on earth of one innocent child. Why, Deans asks, if God is all powerful, does man have to suffer? If God is merciful, then how can he sentence man, any man at all to eternal damnation?

There is an optimistic side to this. As the repetitive occurrence of the term “free will” on this show suggests, if God exists, man is nothing; but if God does not exist, then man is free to choose what he wants to make himself. But for Castiel to arrive at this destination, it first takes him to undergo a two-season long crisis.

ANNA: What do you want from me, Castiel? CASTIEL: I'm considering disobedience. ANNA nods. ANNA: Good. CASTIEL: No, it isn't. For the first time, I feel... ANNA: It gets worse. Choosing your own course of action is confusing, terrifying. ANNA puts her hand on CASTIEL's shoulder. He looks at it; she drops it. ANNA: That's right. You're too good for my help. I'm just trash. A walking blasphemy. ANNA turns to walk away. CASTIEL: Anna. ANNA stops. CASTIEL: I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do. ANNA turns back. ANNA: Like the old days? No. I'm sorry. It's time to think for yourself. - 4.16 On the Head of a Pin

If God isn’t out there, then Castiel has nowhere to turn. This dreadful realization may best be articulated through Hazel Barnes’ analogy that as if one would try to judge a Ford car without any Mr. Ford. So long as there is a Mr. Ford or one of his agents, then one has a model, one has a blueprint and one can say that the car which is coming there off the assembly line is a perfect Ford or an imperfect Ford. But without a plan, one cannot judge a car, and without God, there is no plan for Castiel and there is no final point of reference by which he can judge his values, or right or wrong, or declare that he has lived up to his possibilities or not lived up to his possibilities.

Yet despite “choosing your own course of action” being “confusing, terrifying,” Castiel is not in total despair. Dean, the human equivalent of the burden of a self-creative life, provides reference for Castiel on how to live a life as if there were no God. I have concluded thus that in the context of existentialism Castiel seeks Dean and humanity for answers and view them as his destination.

Note: this article is MOSTLY arguments in Hazel Barnes’ Self Encounter 2: The Far Side of Despair.

[disabled-dean]

Asterism of an F-Series Ford Pick Up- 17k

Now with BELOVED amv by @butch--dean 🖤

Summary: When you've been to hell, desire is isolating and ugly.

Or: Cas drives his truck for a case and Dean is exceptionally horny about it.

���Once on a hunt when he was a teenager, Dean had been caught too close to an explosive when it had gone off. There had been the moment when the projectile hit, and the moment when it had detonated. And just before it had, there had also been a moment when he had believed that maybe it wouldn’t.

He had thought about that moment for years, over and over again, until something else had taken its place. And the way that that moment was quiet, the way it was still- that is how this feels. To lie beside Cas in the bed of his truck, their shoulders barely touching.”

Follow @deancastruckwip for bonus content <3

Ten Minutes From Home [Lebanon Coda] WIP 48K

We've truly come a long way since the iconic:

"Physically restraining myself from writing a coda fic for Lebanon, where John stays over at the bunker, Cas comes home in the middle of the night & there's tension between him and Dean over whether or not they will still share a room, and then 29-year-old Mary has to sit through Thee most homophobic breakfast with her dead ex-husband, closeted son, and his common law married, ancient eldrich boyfriend."

This fic is a deep dive into some of the juicier elements of Lebanon, including- justice for Mary Winchester and her rich internal life, the intricate dance constructed around Dean's homosexuality and John's neglectful/abusive parenting and the impact of the Michael arc on Dean and Cas' relationship. Also features: recovering!alcoholic dean, a staggering amount of risky bunker sex, biblically accurate sibling interactions, and studies on objectification. Also Sam is practicing witchcraft as a treat, and I put that guy in eating disorder recovery (because he fucking needs it) <3

Haven't started posting this one! But you can follow @lebanon-wip for excerpts, inspo, and bonus content <3

An Easier Softer Way WIP 38k

Recovery!natural. Injured after the hell rescue goes wrong, Dean ends up disabled and living in a small rural town in Eastern Washington. With Sam fucked off to god knows where and without the fight to distract him, Dean has nothing left to focus on but his burgeoning sobriety, and persistent dreams of hell.

Set in the arid low-lands of the river valley, surrounded by apple orchards and twisting irrigation canals, Dean becomes convinced he can see a great beast stalking through the hills bordering the town. The same beast he has dreamt of since returning from hell, the same one he can sometimes feel beside him when he knows that he’s alone.

Walking the line between grief and reality, isolation and community, Dean has to pull together what's real and what isn't as he adjust to his disability, and finds faith that he is capable of building lasting relationships and creating a life for himself worth loving.

Also eventually Cas shows up, and they save the world.

He’s still debating just getting the fuck out of there when a women at the head of the long table clears her throat, and starts to read from a laminated print out. The edges of Dean’s vision blur out a little. He has to leave. He has to- the woman is still reading. Dean tunes back in in time to hear, “-At some of these we balked. We thought that we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not."  Here, the speaker pauses, and Dean feels like she looks right at him. But she doesn't. She just gives the laminated sheet a little shake, clears her throat and continues, "With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start.” And no one could ever call him a coward. So he stays.

Honestly the most plot I've ever worked with (and very deeply personal) so this one could be a while. @aneasiersofterway for inspo, vibes, and bonus content.

[samwinchesterswifu]

Contagious pt. 2 (Sam Winchester x Read Smut Series)

Requested: No

Season 2 x Episode 1

Warnings: slow burn, slight kink if you squint your eyes.

Song Inspiration: This series is going to have a lot of song inspo, but the main one is "Contagious" by Trapt

MINORS DNI

A/N: I thought this would be a good way to continue the series. I may end up doing little episodes here and there, but honestly not sure how far im gunna take this. Would love some feed back on this!

Word Count: 2500

Summary: All four of them just had gotten into a car wreck, Deans in a medical coma, Sam is all over the place, but finally, he gives her a taste of what she wants.

  It has been an extremely long year. Joining the boys on a man hunt for their father John. Encountering everything they could think of. From almost dying to a wendigo, to playing guess who with a shapeshifter, bugs, a spooky dead doctor, and being reminded why people are truly just terrible. Watching Dean help an old lover, only to watch him make the same mistake Sam made just a few years ago. It was exhausting. On top the constant killing of the bad guys, Sam gave her major whiplash. There’d be moments where he would show his younger self again. Show her signs that maybe he was ready to experience all the love the two of them shared again. Only to be gone in an instant whenever the demon was brought up. Sam wanted revenge. She couldn’t blame him. Hell, if something tried to kill Sam, her dagger would be through the monster’s heart within minutes. She just felt like a second choice. A back up plan. That was until they had gotten into a wreck.

Her and Sam were sitting in the front seat. While the two of them were left uninjured, just a few cuts and bruises. Dean was in a coma. John was recovering in a separate hospital room. Sam was obviously distant. Worried and pacing back and forth between John’s room and Dean’s. She sat and kept John company. To help distract her from the possibility of potentially losing someone she called her family. 

Sam had come to check up on John once again before disappearing down the hall. She was looking down at her hands. Going over the small scar that Sam had accidentally created during their first kiss. His pocketknife had slipped from his pocket where her hands were placed. Making a clean cut through her skin. John cleared his throat, making her look up at him. He smiled.

“I remember that cut,” Johns deep voice rumbled through his empty room.

“Sam was so worried you would get an infection and was so scared of getting in trouble with Hank.” He chuckled lowly.

“That boy is terrified of your father.”

She grinned at his statement. But was quickly replaced.

“He’s still in love with you kid,” sincerity was behind his voice, but it was hard to believe.

“I doubt that John.” She sighed.

“Every time he comes in here, checking on me, he’s also clocking you.” John had a grin on his face that made it seem like he was proud of Sam.

“What do you mean?” She asks.

“He’s checking up on you to make sure you don’t also randomly collapse. He’s worried enough about Dean, but if you went under? He’d freak.”

A small smile tugged at her lips. Hopefully John was right. Suddenly, Sam was at John’s room, tears brimming his eyes and he looked panicked.

“It’s Dean!” He practically yelled.

She quickly got up from her chair and rushed with Sam to Dean’s room where the machine was beeping and the doctors were trying to save him. His heart had stopped, and she could see Sam was close to ripping apart in stress. Finally, the doctors were able to save him. She dared not lay a hand on Sam. After what happened prior, she was afraid.

They both returned to John’s room. He asks questions about what happened. Reassuring Sam that things where gunna be okay. Sam twiddles with his fingers nervously. A deep sigh left his lips. There was clearly something on his mind.

“Dad?” Sam pipes up. 

John grunted in response.

“It felt like Dean was there.” Sam’s eyes kept darting between her and John. Like he was a scared kid about to be ridiculed by John.

Huh?

“What are you talking about kid?” John’s attention was attracted.

“Like, Dean was there. Out of ear shot. Is that possible?” Sam was still twiddling with his thumbs.

“Anything’s possible son.” John looked at her as if to say, “Has this kid gone insane?”

Sam shook his head. Another few minutes of silence Sam stood up. His head peaked down to look at her. There was hope in his eyes.

“Can I talk to you?” Sam was nervous again. His voice quivered like he was cold.

All she could do was muster up a nod.

Getting up, she gave John a quick glance, him grinning back at her.

Sam pulls her away from John’s room. His fingers felt like hot stones on her skin. Her heart rate increased rapidly to the point she could practically hear it in her ears. Sam had pulled her away into a small little hallway. Making it seem as if he didn’t want anyone to bother them.

“You think I’m crazy,” he sighs.

“What?” She was completely confused.

“You didn’t say anything. You typically have some witty response to shoot back at me.” Sam returned to a scared puppy. That’s all he ever was. A scared puppy.

“I’m just trying to process everything right now Sam. It’s been a hell of a year.” Her voice was laced with bitterness. It was enough to make Sam cowardly.

“I know.” His eyes looked glossy as if he was getting ready to cry.

“Sammy,” she sighed.

It was like it was a repeated event of when they first “got back” together.

“It’s highly possible that Dean’s spirit is running around. I just don’t know how we would communicate with him.” Sam’s gaze softened; it was a similar look when he was thinking.

“That’s it!” Sam exclaimed. Making her jump at this sudden boom of his voice.

“What?” Again, she was lost.

“A Ouija board!” Sam was practically bouncing on his heels.

She groaned at his words.

“Sam come on. You know we don’t mess with those things! Dean would be furious!” She shook her head. She truly couldn’t believe his words.

Sam started to walk away from her. Not uttering a word.

“Where are you going!” She shouts after him.

“Keep dad company!” Sam responded.

She scoffed. Winchesters.

Instead of returning to John’s room, she heads to Dean’s. Her heart hurt seeing him hooked to all the wires. She sits in the chair next to his bed, just studying him. A long sigh left her lips and her head fell into her hands. Taking a deep breath, she began speaking. Hoping that Dean wouldn’t actually be able to hear what she had to say, even though he was right behind her in his ghostly form. 

“Dean,” her voice cracked and was close to tears. 

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this with Sam.” She shook her head, a few tears slipping down her cheeks. 

“I love him, I love your brother so damn much, I always have,” She took another pause as footsteps approached. 

Sam rounded the corner into Dean’s room, a bit taken aback that she was present. Holding a paper bag, he overall just looked confused. 

“Are you okay?” He asked as he began to sit on the floor in front of Dean’s bed. 

“Fine,” she was sharp with her words, and the younger Winchester flinched at her tone. 

She rose from her chair, joining beside him. He pulled out the board and another groan left her lips.

“Dean is going to kill you.” He let out a small laugh and nodded in agreement. 

Quickly setting up the board, he looked at her for a second. A wave of concern and sincerity washed over his eyes. His hand began to raise, but was put down almost as fast. He seemed hesitant, which has become more often these days.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”  Sam's voice was sweet, laced with honey enough to get her drunk off of it, but she had to remain composure. 

All she could do was muster up a nod. He sighed in response as he turned his attention towards the board. 

Sam placed his fingers on the planchette, looking at her and waiting for her to do the same. She mirrorod his movements, nodding that she was ready. Sam took another deep breath.

“Dean, are you with us?” Sam asked, a few moments of silence, then the planchette started to move towards ‘yes’. 

He let out an excited squeak. Which was too cute beyond words. 

“What is keeping you away, is there a case?” Sam asked, and the planchette moved back to ‘yes’. 

“Do you know what it is?” Sam asked. 

The planchette began to move over the letters REAP. 

A small ‘huh’ left Sam’s lips. 

The planchette began to move again, without a question asked. Her heart rate began to increase, afraid of what Dean had in mind. The planchette moved over the letters LOVE. Both her and Sam’s heads snapped towards another. A look of confusion falling over both of them. 

“What are you saying Dean?” She asked. 

LOVEBIRDS.

A wave of heat rose to her cheeks. He was listening to her rant after all. Sam shuffled in his place awkwardly. It was one of the things she loved about him. He’s been awkward ever since he was a kid. Another grunt left Sam and he turned back to the planchette. 

“Is the reaper after you?” Sam asked, trying to get rid of the tension. 

The planchette moved back to ‘yes’. 

Sam rose from his position, and began to pace back and forth. 

“Sam, Dean will be fine,” she says as she rises to meet him. 

“I know, I’m just worried.” He stopped pacing and his eyes raised in the way he got about when having a bright idea in his head. 

“Wait! I’ll go ask Dad, stay here,” Sam says leaving the room. 

Completely lost into what was going on, she sat back down in the chair next to Dean’s bed. Cursing at the old brother for the trick he pulled. Sam returned back to Dean’s room, holding John’s infamous journal in his hands. He begins reading aloud the page about reapers. 

“Can I sit next to him?” Sam asks through his puppy dog eyes. 

She nods, standing toe to toe to Sam. Before switching spots, Sam reaches out to her. Hesitantly grabbing her hand, and lacing his fingers with her. He gives it a tight squeeze, as if he was afraid that she was gonna slip away from him. Slowly, Sam lowers his face towards her. Panic arose in her heart. Why was he doing this now? When Dean was in a coma? Before Sam’s lips connected with hers, Dean jolted up from his drug induced coma. The two pulled apart, trying to act like nothing was about to happen. 

“What happened?” Dean asked, his brows furrowed as his eyes darted between the two.

Sam looked at her pleadingly, as if to tell her not to say anything. She gives him a small grin. 

“I uhm, I need to go uhm, do something really fast.” She says, darting out of the room.

Walking towards the courtyard of the hospital looking to get some fresh air, She finds a wooden bench to sit at, and takes a few moments to breathe. Thoughts were rushing through her head as tears welled in her eyes. There was no warning, Sam has such a mind of his own that it was whiplash all the time. Her heart stung at his actions. While yes, it felt like he was getting better, that he was trusting her again, leaning on her again, it just felt manufactured. 

The door to the courtyard opened, and John walked out. A concerned smile tight on his face. He joins her, placing a hand on her that rested on her thigh. All of the emotions became too much. John pulled her into his side as the tears began to flow. Her sobs echoed off the brick walls. John rubs the side of her arm in the hopes of bringing comfort. After a few moments, and she was able to recollect herself, John excuses himself, explaining that he needed to go see the boys. She wasn’t able to really respond. 

She takes at least a bit to gather herself and prepare to see Sam again. Walking towards the area where their rooms were, She is pushed aside by rushing nurses and a doctor. Following them back towards Dean’s room. Sam stood out in the hallway, his fingers deep in his hair. He looked up for a moment, eyes connecting with hers. His eyes were saying more than what he was able to mumble. She rushes to his side as he begins to fall apart. Catching his slumped body in attempts to help console. She was able to finally see what was going on. John laid still in the hallway, hearing them call out the time of death. She knew then that things were definitely going to change between them. Not only did she have to help pick up the pieces after Jess, but now the same with the death of his father.  But it wasn’t a burden to her. 

Things finally settled down and they were preparing to leave the hospital. A hunter's funeral was in the plans for John. Before leaving the hospital, Sam pulls her off into another side corridor, away from the eyes of Dean. 

Within a swift movement, a hand was placed on her hip, another came up to caress her cheek. Sam applies enough pressure on her hip to push her flat against the wall. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach. She watched Sam’s eyes as they darted between her own eyes and lips. A small ‘fuck it’ fell from Sam and he crashed his lips with hers. The kiss was harmonious. His lips felt smooth like he still took care of his hygiene just how he did when they were kids. The hand that was placed on her hip came to engulf her other cheek. As he did this, Sam became more aggressive with his kiss. Their bodies became completely flushed together. He broke their contact, and dipped his head to her neck. Placing small kisses and nibbling softly, he reaches a certain spot that he knows drives her crazy. He bites down hard on that area, sucking slightly. A small gasp of pleasure escapes her lips and she could feel Sam’s hard-on bulge against her thigh. Suddenly, a small knock attracted both of their attention, only to realize it was a doctor going into a patient’s room. Looking back at each other, they held a smile. She wasn’t sure what was going through his brain. His dad just died for christ sake. But maybe he was looking for familiarity with what was unknown right now. 

Dean calls out their name, making both of them sigh. Rounding the corners, Dean stops looking through the other rooms as soon as he spots them. 

“Come on you too,” Dean motions towards him. 

Nodding, they both begin to follow him. Sam places his hand on the little bit of her back, guiding her through the halls. Hopefully, Sammy was coming back to her.

[layce2015]

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

Two Minutes To Midnight

Masterlist pt 1

Masterlist pt 2

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Dean asked Sam while I run my hand over my eyes, upset. "Dean..." Sam tried to say, but Dean talks over him. "...No, don't 'Dean' me. I mean, you... you have had some stupid ideas in the past, But this." He growls then I turn to Bobby. "Did you know about this?" I asked Bobby as he wheels himself up in the kitchen doorway. "What?" Bobby asked. "About Sam's genius plan to say 'yes' to the devil?" Dean elaborated, angrily.

Bobby stares at him for a moment, then nods. "Well, thanks for the heads up!" Dean exclaimed, angrily. "Hey, this ain't about me." Bobby said and I turn to Sam. "You can't do this." I told Sam. "That's the consensus." Sam said, shrugging. "All right. Awesome. Then, end of discussion." Dean said.

At that moment his phone starts ringing. He takes it out while pointing at Sam. "This isn't over." He told his brother, then he answers his phone. "Hello?" he said then he stops. "Ariel?" Dean said, glancing to me and Sam. "Wait, you found Cas?" He said and I raise my head up at him. "Is he okay?" I asked him. Dean holds up his hand to me, telling me to wait. "Wait, let me put you on speaker." He said then he pulls the phone away from his ear, presses a button and holds it up.

"Okay...Where the hell are you guys?" Dean asked them. "A hospital." Ariel's voice said. "Is he okay?" Dean asked, worried. "No." She replied, simply. Dean waits for her to say more but she doesn't. "You want to elaborate?" Dean asked.

"He just woke up here. The doctors were fairly surprised. They thought he was brain-dead." Ariel explained. "S-so, a hospital?" Dean asked then we hear Cas' voice in the background. "Apparently, after Van Nuys, I suddenly appeared, bloody and unconscious, on a shrimping boat off Delacroix. I'm told it upset the sailors." Castiel explained.

"Uh, well, I got to tell you guys...You're just in time. We figured out a way to pop Satan's box." Dean said. "How?" Castiel and Ariel asked, while Cas grunts in pain. "It's a long story, but, look...we're going after Pestilence now. So if you guys want to zap over here..." Dean said.

"I can't zap anywhere." Castiel said. "What do you mean?" Dean asked. "You could say my batteries are...are drained." Castiel said. "What do you mean? You're out of angel mojo?" Dean asked. "I'm saying that I am thirsty and my head aches. I have a bug bite that itches no matter how much I scratch it, and I'm saying that I'm just incredibly..." Castiel explained.

"Human. Wow. Sorry." Dean said. "I have enough power for both of us to get out of here but...I need to make sure Cas is well enough to travel." Ariel said. "You sure? Bobby can wire you guys the cash..." Dean said but Ariel talks over him. "No, we'll be fine. Like I said, if Cas is truly human, I need to make sure he gets properly checked over. Once we get cleared here, we'll come back." Ariel said. "Well, at least let Bobby send you some money to pay for the hospital stay." Dean said and Bobby narrows his eyes at him. "I will?" He asked as Dean was about to hang up his phone. 

"Dean, wait." Castiel said and Dean stopped. "Ariel told me you said no to Michael. I owe you an apology." Castiel said. "Cas...I-it's okay." Dean said, smiling a little. "You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be." Castiel said and Dean pauses for a moment. "Thank you....I appreciate that." He said. "You're welcome." Castiel said and Ariel hangs up before Dean could say anything else.

Later, Sam, Dean, and I went outside and got into the Impala. "Be careful." Bobby tells us. We nodded and drive off to find Pestilence.

That night, the boys and I watch Serenity Valley Convalescent Home from the Impala. "So this is Dr. Evil's lair, huh?" Dean asked, lowering his binoculars. "It's kind of more depressing than evil." Sam said as we watch one of the nurses wheel an old man back into the building.

"It's like a four-color brochure for dying young. Of course, to Pestilence, it's probably Dollywood in there." I said. "Great. A whole building full of people. We don't know who's human, who's demon, and who's Pestilence. So what do we do?" Sam asked. "Hang on." Dean said and he looks through his binoculars again.

Minutes later, we enter the building and found the security room door, which Dean opens the door and poke his head in. "Hey. Hi. Uh, I'm looking for my Nana. Uh, her name is Eunice Kennedy." He said. "Go around front and see the nurse." The guard inside said. Dean glances back to us then goes inside shutting the door behind him. Sam and I glance at each other then away to see if anyone's coming.

Then we hear Dean knock on the door and we quickly slip into the room while Dean pulls the guard into a corner out of the way. "Eunice Kennedy?" Sam asked. "That's the beauty about improv, Sammy. You never know what's gonna come out of your mouth." Dean said. "Yeah, you would know." I grumbled, with a sneer, and Dean turns his head to me and I shrug a bit.

We sit down in front of the screen and spend what felt like hours watching them. "So, what are..." I started to asked but then I notice Dean had drifting off to sleep, leaning his head against my shoulder. I roll my eyes at this then I flick his forehead, waking him up. "Hey." I said and he sits up, quickly. "What are we even looking for?" I asked as he shakes his head to wake himself up. "Well, he's Pestilence, so he probably looks sick." Dean said as he runs his hand over his eyes. "Everybody looks sick." Sam remarked.

We spend hours watching the camera until a man leaves a room cause a distortion on the monitor. "Hey." I said, pointing to it. Dean, who's been pacing to keep himself awake, comes over to look at the screens. We watch as each monitor has a distortion when ever the man is caught by the camera. "Oh, now we're talking." Dean said, smirking.

We exit the security room and made our way through the halls to catch up to the man. Ducking behind a wall to avoid one of the nurses seeing Sam holding Ruby's knife and Dean and I holding shotguns. We continue down the hall, passing an open room where a nurse was checking in on one of the patiences.

Further along, I suddenly start to feel sick and we all started coughing, my vision became blurry with tears but we pressed on. We round the corner and found the bodies of a doctor and a nurse. I lean on the wall while the boys leaned on the opposite wall for support, Sam coughs up blood onto his hand. "Ugh...Must be getting close." He said. "You think?" Dean asked.

We keep going, getting sicker and sicker with every step. Finally, my body couldn't take it any more and I start to sink to the floor.

"(Y/n)?" Dean said, coming over to me. He tries to help me up and tries to get me to keep going, but we both stumble and I fall to the floor. Sam stumbles to his feet and slowly made his way to the room, while Dean crumbles to the floor unable to keep going as well. We all lay on the floor, coughing uncontrollably.

Sam makes it to the room and the door is open by a nurse. Sam raises the knife to her but the nurse was unfazed by it. "The doctor will see you now." She said, stepping aside showing Pestilence was sitting on the bed next to a dead old woman.

"Sam. Dean. (y/n)." Pestilence said, waving for us to come froward. Sam keels over and falls to the floor. "Come right in." Pestilence said. The nurse steps out into the hall and drags Dean and I into the room next to Sam.

"Hmm. You three don't look well. It might be the, uh, Scarlet fever." Pestilence said, getting up from the bed staring down at us as we continue coughing. "Or, uh, the meningitis. Oh! Or the syphilis." Pestilence said, then clicks his tongue as he shakes his head. "That's no fun." He said. 

Pestilence steps closer, grabbing Sam by his hair and lifting his head up to look at him. "However you feel right now? It's gonna get so very, very much worse. Questions?" He asked, dropping Sam and letting his face drop back down to the floor. "Disease gets a bad rap, don't you think? For being filthy. Chaotic. Uh, but, really, t-that just describes people who get sick. Disease itself...Very...Pure...Single-minded. Bacteria have one purpose...divide and conquer." Pestilence said as Dean reaches for the knife that Sam had dropped. 

But Pestilence steps on his hand, stopping him. "That's why, in the end...It always wins." Pestilence said, kicking the knife away before releasing Dean. "So, you've got to wonder why God pours all his love into something so MESSY...AND WEAK! It's ridiculous. All I can do is show him he's wrong, one epidemic at a time. Now...On a scale of 1 to 10, how's your pain?" Pestilence asked as he takes out glasses from his pocket and puts them on.

The door flies open and Castiel walks in. "Cas." Dean and I said, surprised and relieved. "How'd you get here?" Pestilence asked Castiel, taking off his glasses. "I took a bus. Don't worry, I..." Castiel said but then he falls to the floor, coughing. "Well, look at that. An occupied vessel, but powerless. Oh, that's fascinating. There's not a speck of angel in you, is there?" Pestilence asked as he leans over Castiel, grinning.

But then Pestilence was pulled backwards and slammed against the desk. "He's not alone." Ariel said as she appeared behind him. The demon nurse charges at Ariel but Ariel waves her hand and the nurse flies back. Then Ariel raises the knife, Sam dropped, grabs his arm and cuts off Pestilence's ring finger and pinky finger. Pestilence screams out in pain then pulls his bloody hand away.

The nurse gets up and goes after Ariel again but Castiel tackles her down and they fight. Ariel then goes over, grabs the demon and stabs her, killing her.

With the ring cut off, we were suddenly healthy again and we stand up then Dean picks up the finger to retrieve the ring. "It doesn't matter. It's too late." Pestilence said, before he disappears. I furrow my brow at this then look over at the others, who also had the same confused, concerned expression.

We return to Bobby's and Dean drops Pestilence's ring in the desk in front of Bobby. "Well, it's nice to actually score a home run for once, ain't it?" Bobby said, but no one says anything. "What?" He asked us. "Last thing Pestilence said. it's too late." Sam said. "He get specific?" Bobby asked. "No." I replied. "We're just a little freaked out that he might have left a bomb somewhere. So please tell us you have actual good news." Dean said and Bobby pauses for a moment.

"Chicago's about to be wiped off the map. Storm of the millennium. Sets off a daisy chain of natural disasters. Three million people are gonna die." He said. "Huh." Dean muttered, looking down.

"I don't understand your definition of good news." Castiel said while Ariel paces. "You and me both, Cas." I said. "I think what Bobby is saying is that...Death, the horseman...he's gonna be there." She said and Bobby nods. "Exactly! And if we can stop him before he kick-starts this storm, get his ring back." Bobby explained.

"Yeah, you make it sound so easy." Dean said. "Hell, I'm just trying to put a spin on it." Bobby said. "Well...Bobby, h-how'd you put all this together, anyways?" Sam asked. "I had, you know...Help." Bobby said, quietly, seeming unusually nervous all of a sudden.

We hear a glass clink and turn to see Crowley in the kitchen pouring himself a drink. "Don't be so modest. I barely helped at all." He said to Bobby as he picks up his glass and walks over to lean on the doorframe of the library and kitchen. "Hello, gang. Pleasure, et cetera." He said to us, taking a sip of his drink. "Go ahead. Tell them. There's no shame in it." He said to Bobby, setting his glass down.

We all turn to Bobby. "Bobby? Tell us what?" I asked, very worried. "World's gonna end. Seems stupid to get all precious over one little...Soul." Bobby said. "You sold your soul?" Dean asked, dumbfounded. "Oh, more like pawned it. I fully intend to give it back." Crowley said. "Well, then give it back!" I growled at him. "I will." Crowley said. "Now!" Dean and I yelled.

"Did you kiss him?" Sam asked Bobby. "Sam!" Dean said, exasperated. "Just wondering." Sam replied. We all look at Bobby, who looks between us. "No!" He exclaimed and Sam narrows his, suspicious. Crowley clears his throat and we look at him to see he was holding out his phone which has a picture of himself and Bobby kissing.

"Why'd you take a picture?" Bobby asked, ashamed, while Crowley glances at the photo. "Why do you have to use tongue?" He asked. We all turn to Bobby again, in shock, while Bobby glares at Crowley, who smiles back at him. 

"All right. You know what? I'm sick of this." Dean growled as her walks over to Crowley. "Give him his soul back now." He ordered. "I'm sorry. I can't." Crowley said. "Can't or won't?" Dean asked. "I won't, all right? It's insurance." Crowley said. "What are you talking about?" I asked. "You kill demons. Gigantor over there has a temper issue about it. But you won't kill me...As long as I have that soul in the deposit box." Crowley said, waving his phone before putting it away in his pocket.

"You son of a bitch." Bobby growled. "I'll return it. After all this is over, and I can walk safely away. Do we all understand each other?" Crowley asked and I glared at him.

I went outside with Dean to help him pack the trunk when Sam walks up. He sighs and he leans against the car. "Let me guess. We're about to have a talk." Dean said. "Look, guys, um...For the record...I agree with you. About me. You think I'm too weak to take on Lucifer. Well, so do I. Believe me, I know exactly how screwed up I am. You two, Bobby, Cas, Ariel...I'm the least of any of you." Sam explained.

"Oh, Sam..." Dean and I mutter as Dean leans on the car next to him. "No, it's true. It is. But...I'm also all we got. If there was another way..." He said then he paused for a moment, shrugging. "But I don't think there is. There's just me. So I don't know what else to do. Except just try t-to do what's got to be done." He explained. 

"Aaaand...Scene." Crowley's voice said and we turn to see him walking around the Impala to join us on the other side. "There's something you need to see." He said and he hands a newspaper to Sam. "Niveus pharmaceuticals is rushing delivery of its new swine-flu vaccine to 'stem the tide of the unprecedented outbreak. Uh, shipments leave Wednesday." Sam reads aloud. "Niveus pharmaceuticals. Get it?" Crowley asked, we stare at him blankly.

Crowley sighs. "You three are lucky you have your looks. Your demon lover, Brady? V.P. of distribution, Niveus." He said then the boys and I exchanged a look of realization. "Ah, yes, that the sound of the abacus clacking? We all caught up?" Crowley asked. "So, Pestilence was spreading swine flu." I said. "Yeah, but not just for giggles. That was step one. Step two is the vaccine. And you think..." Dean said, being interrupted by Crowley. "I know. I'll stake my reputation... That vaccine is chock-full of grade-a, farm-fresh croatoan virus." He said.

"Simultaneous, countrywide distribution. It's quite a plan." I said. "They don't get to be horsemen for nothing. So, you lot better stock up on...Well, everything. This time next Thursday, we'll all be living in zombieland." Crowley said, the boys and I exchange worried looks.

That night, I was helping Bobby pack his van while Castiel was standing around, depressed. "What's your problem?" Bobby asked the angel. "This is what they mean by 'the 11th hour,' right?" Castiel asked. "Pretty much." I replied, shrugging. "Well, it's the 11th hour, and I am useless. All I have is this." Castiel said, waving a shotgun. "What am I even supposed to do with it?" He asked. "Point it and shoot." Bobby said, like it was so obvious. "It's easy Cas. You'll get the hang of it." I said, patting him on shoulder.

Castiel shook his head. "What I used to be..." He started to say. "Are you really gonna bitch to me?" Bobby asked and Castiel glances at him then looks away. "Bobby, be nice." I said to him and Bobby scoffs then looks back at Cas. "Quit pining for the varsity years..." Bobby said, wheeling himself over and tossing his duffle bag to Castiel. "And load the damn truck." He said, wheeling away. 

Castiel sighs and tosses the bag in the van when Ariel appears. "You'll be fine, Cas. I'll have enough power for the both of us." Ariel said and she pats his shoulder as he looks down and I give Cas a sympathetic look. "Everything will be okay, Cas." I said and I pat his back then I go over to the boys. 

"All right, well...Good luck stopping the whole zombie apocalypse." Dean said to me and Sam. "Yeah. Good luck killing Death." Sam said to Dean. "Yeah." Dean said, nodding, and I scoff. "Remember when we used to just...hunt wendigos? How simple things were?" I asked them. "Not really." Dean replied and Sam sighs. "Well, um..." He said and he pulls out Ruby's knife. "...You might need this." He said to Dean.

"Keep it." Crowley said, suddenly appearing again, then he hands Dean a small scythe. "Dean's covered. Death's own. Kills, golly, demons and angels and reapers and, rumor has it, the very thing itself." He said. "How did you get those?" Castiel asked while Ariel eyes him with suspicion. "Hello...king of the crossroads. So, shall we?" Crowley said, then he looks to Bobby.

"Bobby, you just gonna sit there?" He asked. "No, I'm gonna riverdance." Bobby said, sarcastically. "I suppose if you want to impress the ladies. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Really wasted that crossroads deal. Fact...you get more if you phrase it properly. So, I took the liberty of adding a teeny little sub-a clause on your behalf." Crowley said, we stared at him confused.

"What can I say? I'm an altruist. Just gonna sit there?" Crowley asked. We all turn to Bobby, who looks down at his legs, shocked. He twitches his foot and looks up, astounded then Bobby gets out of his wheelchair, amazed. We all stared at him, equally amazed.

"Son of a bitch." Bobby whispered. "Yes, I know. Completely worth your soul. I'm a hell of a guy." Crowley said, waving his hands vaguely. "Thanks." Bobby said, sincerely. "This is getting maudlin. Can we go?" Crowley asked, gesturing to the Impala then turns away. "I'm coming with you, Dean. I don't really trust him." Ariel said to Dean. "You sure?" I asked her and she nods then follows Crowley.

Ariel and Crowley go to the Impala, while Bobby, Sam and Castiel go in the van, leaving me and Dean alone. “So…” Dean muttered, slightly looking away. “So.” I repeated, an awkward silence fell over us for a brief moment which Dean breaks by clearing his throat. “Be careful and uh…watch out for Sammy.” He said and I nod.

“I will. You and Ariel be careful too.” I said and Dean nods, turning to leave but stops. “Something else you want to say?” I asked as Dean turns back to me, opening his mouth looking hesitant. 

“You um….when this is over. Do you uh…want to do something? Maybe get a beer?” Dean asked, looking like a flustered teenager asking a girl out for the first time. I smile a little at how uncharacteristically nervous he is. “Maybe. Are you buying?” I asked and Dean smirks and nods. “Sure.” He said.

“Alright. Sounds good.” I said and Dean nodded. “Good, good. I’ll uh…see you when this is over.” He said, continuing to be nervous, and I couldn’t help but giggle at this. “Are you always this nervous when you ask a girl out for a drink?” I asked, raising my eyebrow. “Only the pretty ones.” Dean replied and I blushed at this.

Dean smirks a little. “See ya, weirdo.” He said, turning and heading towards the Impala. I smile as I watch him go. “See ya, jackass.” I said, feeling my heart flutter, as I go over to the van.

"Yes to Lucifer. Then jump in the hole. It's an interesting plan." Castiel said. "That's a word for it." Bobby said, sarcastically, and I scoff out a laugh. "So? Go ahead and tell me it's the worst plan you ever heard." Sam said to Cas, exasperated. "Of course. I am happy to say that if that's what you want to hear. But it's not what I think." Castiel said and we all turn our heads to him.

"Really?" Sam and I said, shocked. "You two and Dean have a habit of exceeding my expectations. Dean resisted Michael. Maybe you could resist Lucifer but there are things that you would need to know, Sam." Castiel said. "Like?" Sam asked. "Michael has found another vessel." Castiel said and I gasp.

"What?" Sam asked. "It's your brother Adam. You must have considered it." Castiel said, sounding like it was obvious. "We were trying not to." I said and Sam nods. "Sam....If you say yes to Lucifer and then fail...This fight will happen. And the collateral...It'll be immense. There's also the demon blood." Castiel said to Sam.

"What? What are you talking about?" Sam asked. "To take in Lucifer, it would be more than you've ever drunk." Castiel warns. "But...Why?" I asked him. "It strengthens the vessel. Keeps it from exploding." Castiel explains.

"But the guy he's in now --" Sam said then Castiel answers his unfinished question. "He's drinking gallons." he said. "And how is that not the worst plan you ever heard?" Bobby asked as Sam and I exchange looks. 

We make it to the Pharmaceuticals warehouse and parked then Bobby pulls out his binoculars. "Yup, they're loading up hotshots of Croatoan in the trucks. Okay. First truck don't leave for an hour. We get in, we plant the c-4 every 25 feet, then we pull the fire alarm." He said.

"That truck is leaving." Castiel said as he points out a truck leaving and I curse under my breath. "Balls! Okay, new plan." Bobby said and we start to rush out of his van.

"Help!" A voice calls out to us as we get up to the warehouse. "Side door!" Bobby yells and we go over to the side to see a door. "Help me, please! Help!" a panicked, fearful voice called out as we get to the door. "Get back!" Sam orders and he shoots through the door lock, opening the door.

"Go. Come on, boys. Go." I shout as we run inside and see a whole pack of Croatoan infected people attacking someone. We take aim and shoot down the Croatoan infected. "Help me! Please! Help!" another voice calls out, which told us there were more people.

"There's still people here." I shout and Sam and I start to move further into the warehouse. "Kids, no!" Bobby yells and Sam turns to him. "Wait here." he said as he hands Bobby his knife and he and I run.

We were able to make it to a different part of the warehouse and found more Croatoan infected attacking an employee. We immediately kill them then check on the employee. "You okay?" Sam asked him and he nods then we take the employee to Bobby, who is holding off other Croatoan infected.

"Go! Go! Go! Go!" Bobby shouts as we lead the employees out of the building and kill any Croatoan infected. "All clear." Sam said and I turn to him just as I see a Croatoan infected coming up behind him.

"Sam!" I shout as Sam is attacked by a Croatoan infected but, quickly, Castiel appears and shoots the infected with his shotgun. "Actually, these things can be useful." Castiel said as he looks at his gun.

"Can we commit our act of domestic terrorism already? Let's go." Bobby said and we nod and begin to plant the bomb.

*3rd Person POV*

"I'm still insulted that you came along." Crowley said to Ariel as they drive into Chicago, which seemed mostly deserted despite being a big city. "I don't trust you, Demon. Especially around my friend." Ariel said as she nods to Dean, who smiled to himself. "Aww, and the name calling? I'm heartbroken. Also, I didn't know Angels were so attached to humans?" Crowley said. "This Angel is." Ariel growls as she points to herself. 

They get out of the Impala and started walking. "Hey, let's stop for pizza." Crowley said. "Are you kidding?" Dean asked. "Just heard it was good. That's all." Crowley replied and Ariel scoffs.

Then Crowley catches their arms, stopping the duo. "Up ahead. Big, ugly building. Ground zero. Horseman's stable, if you will. He's in there." He said, nodding to the building ahead. "How do you know?" Dean asked. "Have you met me? 'cause I know. Also, the block is squirming with reapers. I'll be right back." Crowley said, disappearing. 

Dean turns to Ariel, who was looking towards the building. "Is he telling the truth?" He asked her. "Surprisingly, yes." She replied.

"Boy, is my face red." A voice said and they turn around to see Crowley has reappeared, not even a second later. "Death's not in there." He said. "You want to cut the cute and get to the part where you tell us where he is?" Dean growled. "Sorry. I don't know." Crowley replied, turning around and walking away.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. You don't know?" Ariel asked, hurrying in front of the demon to stop him. "Signs pointed. I-I'm just as shocked as you." Crowley said, brushing pass her.

"Bobby sold his soul for this!" Dean exclaimed, Crowley stops and turns around to look at them. "Relax. All deals are soul back or store credit. We'll catch Death in the next doomed city." He said. "Millions, Crowley. Millions of people are about to die any minute." Dean said. "True. So I strongly suggest we get out of here." Crowley said, walking back to the Impala.

"So, what? Call in a bomb threat? 1,000 bomb threats? I mean, how the hell are we supposed to get three million people out of Chicago in the next 10 minutes?" Dean asked Crowley and Ariel as they walk down the streets and to the Impala. But then Ariel stops and looks across the street and disappears.

Dean turns around and sees she's gone. "Where's Ariel?" He asked and Crowley turns and see she's gone too. "Maybe Miss Goody-two-shoes decided to bail out. Like we should be doing." Crowley said but then Dean noticed Ariel was across the street, looking in a window of a pizzeria.

"What is she doing?" Dean asked but then she disappeared and reappeared in front of him. "If you actually got your head out of your ass, Demon, you would see that Death is in that pizza parlor." Ariel said at Crowley as she points at the pizzeria. "Well, excuse me, princess." Crowley sneered and they glare daggers at each other. 

"Okay, then...good job, Ariel." Dean said and Ariel smiles and nods at him then they start to head to the pizza parlor. "You coming or..." Dean said as he turns around only see Crowley has disappeared. "...Not." Dean grumbled and Ariel scoffs. "Typical." She growls as they cross the street to the pizzeria.

"You sure you want to go in here? I mean, I know he's gotta terrify you..." Dean said and Ariel nods a bit. "He does but...." she said then she looks over at him. "I'm not leaving my friend behind." Ariel said and Dean gives her an appreciated smile then they get closer to the parlor and enter it, slowly and quietly.

Inside everyone was dead, except for a man who was seated at a table, eating. As Dean and Ariel approach Death, the scythe Dean was holding starts to heat up until it burned his hand. Dean drops his weapon and it reappears on the table Death is sitting at.

"Thanks for returning that. Join me, Dean and Ariel. The pizza's delicious." Death said, not turning around to look at them. Dean and Ariel exchange a look and slowly walk over to the table. "Sit down." Death said as he cuts off a piece of his pizza to eat it with a fork.

Dean takes a seat in front of Death and Ariel takes a seat on Dean's right. "Took you long enough to find me. I've been wanting to talk to both of you." Death said. "I got to say...I have mixed feelings about that." Dean said. "S-so is this the part where...where you kill us?" Dean asked and finally Death looks up from his food at them.

"You have an inflated sense of your importance. To a thing like me, a thing like you, well...Think how you'd feel if a bacterium sat at your table and started to get snarky. This is one little planet in one tiny solar system in a galaxy that's barely out of its diapers. I'm old. Very old. So I invite both of you to contemplate how insignificant I find the two of you." Death said then he places a couple of slices of pizza on the plates in front of Dean and Ariel.

"Eat." He ordered. Dean and Ariel look down at the pizza then glance at Death, who waits. Dean takes a bite his pizza while Ariel looked at it before taking a bite of her slice. She really didn't need to eat but she didn't want to anger Death. "Good, isn't it?" Death asked as he goes back to eating.

"Well, I got to ask. How old are you?" Dean asked. "As old as God. Maybe older. Neither of us can remember anymore. Life, death, chicken, egg. Regardless...at the end, I'll reap him, too." Death said. "God? You'll reap Father?" Ariel asked, stunned. "Oh, yes. Your Father will die, too, Ariel." Death replied as lighting flashes outside. "Well, this is way above my pay grade." Dean said. "Just a bit." Death said.

"So, then why are we still breathing, sitting here with you? What do you want?" Ariel asked. "The leash around my neck...off. Your brother, Lucifer, has me bound to him. Some unseemly little spell. He has me where he wants, when he wants. That's why I couldn't go to you. I had to wait for you to catch up. He made me his weapon. Hurricanes, floods, raising the dead. I'm more powerful than you can process, and I'm enslaved to a bratty child with a temper tantrum." Death explained and Ariel nods.

"And you think...we can unbind you?" Dean asked. "There's your ridiculous bravado again. Of course you can't. But you can help me take the bullets out of Lucifer's gun." Death said and he sets his fork and knife down. Then Death held up his hand that was wearing his ring.

"I understand you want this." He said. "Yeah." Dean said. "I'm inclined to give it to you." Death said. "To give it to us?" Ariel asked, suspicious. "That's what I said." Death said, simply.

"But what about..." Dean started to asked. "Chicago? I suppose it can stay. I like the pizza." Death said, taking his ring off. "There are conditions." He said. "Okay. Like?" Dean asked. "You have to do whatever it takes to put Lucifer in his cell." Death replied. "Of course." Dean and Ariel said. "Whatever it takes." Death said, firmly. "That's the plan." Dean said. "No. No plan. Not yet. Your brother. He's the one that can stop Lucifer. The only one." Death said. "What, you think..." Dean started to say but Death speaks over him.

"I know. So, I need a promise. Both of you are going to let Sam jump right into that fiery pit." Death said as Dean and Ariel stare at him, speechless. "Well, do I have your word?" He asked. Dean and Ariel exchange the look before they look back at Death in the eyes. "Okay, yeah. Yes." Dean said.

Death stares at him, then turns his head to look at Ariel, who nods. "That had better be yes, you two. You know you can't cheat death." Death said, before dropping his ring into Dean's hand. "Now, would you like the instruction manual?" Death asked.

Back at Bobby's, Dean sat outside in the scrapyard, looking at Death's ring. When he sets it down next to the other three rings lock together. Bobby kicks a box out of his way, getting Dean's attention. "Well, how'd it go at the Rockettes audition?" Dean asked him, smiling.

"Well, high kicks...fair. Boobs need work. I walked up and down stairs all night for no damn reason. I'm sore." Bobby said, laughing. "Feels so good, I'm scared it's a dream. But then I remember that the world's dying bloody, so, drink?" He said, handing Dean a beer.

"Check it out." Dean said and he shows Bobby how the rings link together, making the old man nearly spit up his beer. "Hmm. Oh. So Death told you and Ariel how to operate those? The whole deal?" He asked as he takes a seat across from Dean.

"Yeah. It's nuts. Of course, we got bigger problems now." Dean said. "Really? Like?" Bobby asked. "What do you think Death does to people who lie to his face?" Dean asked. "Nothing good." Bobby replied, shrugging. "Yeah." Dean muttered.

"What'd you say?" Bobby asked. "That we were cool with Sam driving the bus on the whole Lucifer plan." Dean said. "So Death thinks Sam ought to say yes, huh?" Bobby asked. "I don't know. Yeah." Dean replied and Bobby hums, thoughtful.

"But, I mean, of course he'd say that. He works for Lucifer." Dean said. "Against his will, I thought he said." Bobby said. "Well, I'd say, take his sob story with a fat grain of salt. I mean, he is Death." Dean said. "Exactly. He's Death. Think of the kind of bird's-eye view." Bobby argued.

"Seriously?" Dean asked. "I'm just saying." Bobby replied. "Well, don't. I mean, what happened to you being against this?" Dean asked. "Look, I'm not saying Sam ain't an ass-full of character defects. But..." Bobby started. "But what?" Dean asked.

"Back at Niveus? I watched that kid pull one civilian out after another. Must have saved 10 people. Never stopped. Never slowed down. (y/n) even helped him as much as she could. We're hard on him, Dean. We've always been. But in the meantime....He's been running into burning buildings since he was, what, twelve?" Bobby asked.

"Pretty much." Dean replied. "Look, Sam's got a...Darkness in him. I'm not saying he don't. But he's got a hell of a lot of good in him, too." Bobby said. "I know." Dean muttered, looking down slightly.

"Then you know Sam will beat the devil...Or die trying. That's the best we could ask for. So I got to ask, Dean." Bobby said, leaning forward. "What exactly are you afraid of? Losing? Or losing your brother?" He asked and Dean doesn't answer.

“How about losing (y/n)?” Bobby asked and Dean fidgets a little at hearing this question. “If Sam’s plan goes south, Ariel will probably ask (y/n) to be her vessel, so she can take on Lucifer herself.” He said.

“You think she’ll say yes?” Bobby asked. “I know she will.” Dean replied. “So, what you’re really afraid of is losing both of them.” Bobby said questionably and Dean once again doesn’t answer, but his silence was enough.

“We gotta make a move soon, you’d better use what time we have left to clear the air and not live with any regrets.” Bobby said and Dean gives him a look. “(Y/n).” Bobby said and Dean looks down slightly. “I’m taking her out later.” He said. 

“You know what you’re gonna say?” Bobby asked. “No, not really.” Dean replied and Bobby stares at him for a moment. “Before my wife…” He started to say, pausing in hesitation. Dean looks up at him, intrigued. “Before she was possessed, she and I…we got in a real nasty argument. I said somethings I wish I could take back and apologize for. But I never had that chance. You do. So don’t waste it.” Bobby said, sternly, and Dean nods.

[incesthemes]

final thoughts: supernatural season 13

weird how i have a headache once again. it's like a ritual now. finish a season gain a headache. anyway let's see. a much better season than both 11 and 12 i think. but goddamn that fucking apocalypse world. i can already tell most of this post is going to be me complaining about the apocalypse world. sorry in advance.

so i'm pleasantly surprised that i only hated a sparse few episodes, actually. most of the worse episodes were either mediocre or cringe, and honestly i can accept that. there was some decent stuff here, and i'll give credit where it's due.

i think the season was at its best when lucifer and the apocalypse world weren't in any way involved. unfortunately there were very few episodes entirely absent of both (sad!), but at least there were plenty of scenes that avoided both subjects. i'm clinging to those with gusto.

lucifer... well it's the same issues i've had with him since season 7. i don't like the total rewrite of his character, and i especially don't enjoy his flimsy, superficial motivations, if he ever has motivations to begin with. i'm extremely bored of villains who want evil for evil's sake, power for power's sake. it's tired, it's hackneyed, it's entirely uninteresting. kripke's lucifer was an interesting take on the devil, with his understated and quiet arrogance: you almost wanted to believe him and sympathize with his position. he was compelling and new. but once kripke left the scene, lucifer just feels... like mark pellegrino is trying to recreate crowley from good omens, basically.

the petulant, bratty attitude lacks synergy with his earlier portrayal, and he loses a true purpose in the show. he goes from trying to fulfill one half of a destiny that parallels the relationship between sam and dean to... i don't even know, honestly. first he's a whacky and silly hallucination, then he wants daddy to apologize to him (and throws a temper tantrum to get it), then he wants... to destroy the world? i guess? and then he wants to rule the world, or something, because why not. there's barely anything reminiscent of his original purpose in the show, and hardly anything left of his original personality and character. it's really disappointing to see him disintegrate from something truly compelling to a flat, one-dimensional cardboard cutout of Evil Cartoon Villain. he's just not interesting anymore, i guess unless you really like crowley good omens and have always wanted to see him in supernatural instead. no offense intended to crowley good omens, for the record. he's just lovely in his original series, playing the role he was created for.

anyway what the fuck happened with lucifer in heaven anyway? like i keep feeling i straight-up missed a scene, or an episode. anael walked away from lucifer and then....? and then lucifer is just gone, i guess? like seriously did miss something? what happened between bring 'em back alive and funeralia???? how did they get lucifer out of heaven???? is that EVER explained????

anyway (x2) i guess i'll complain about the apocalypse world again because i still hate it. if there are 10000 apocalypse world haters i'm one of them. if there are 100 apocalypse world haters i'm one of them. if there's 1 apocalypse world hater that's me. if there's 0 apocalypse world haters i'm dead. and so on and so forth. i'm not above being petty.

i've mostly hashed out my thoughts on this world before so i won't bore anyone with the details, but i really really hate how they continued down this path in season 13. there are too many obvious narrative ploys to excuse the actions that sam, dean, and mary have taken. it's like a redemption arc for them without them ever having to do anything to "earn" that redemption. its entire existence screams "well without them doing these horrible things, everything would have been much worse! so actually it's okay!" and i can't stand that level of flippant, tone-deaf handwaving. it's like they can't bear the thought of their protagonists being anything less than morally good, and that gets under my skin and pisses me off like nothing else.

and i think this is particularly bad for mary. the thing season 12 did really well was making her a deeply flawed individual, someone who makes mistakes and is selfish and lost and just trying to make the best decisions with a shit hand and who suffers great losses because the game was rigged against her. she hurts her kids because of her choices, both in the past and in the present, and the show doesn't make an attempt to excuse her but rather encourages the audience to sympathize with her unique situation and understand that this is not and never was a black-and-white problem. there are no "good people" because everyone makes choices that harm others. this is an important theme rooted in the foundation of the show, and it's important to me.

which is why it infuriates me that the branching-off point in the apocalypse world is that mary didn't make the deal with azazel. because all that does is excuse the harm he inflicted on her kids. "the alternative was worse!" to such an extreme that the only thing the audience can do is justify mary's actions and absolve her of her sins. that's not fair to her, and it portrays her in exactly the opposite light that season 12 did, by forcing her into a pure and morally righteous role as the woman who made the Right Choice, who saved the world because of her small sacrifice. it's not fair! they took a complex female character and flattened her so badly into a Good Person simply by transforming her most destructive, selfish decision into the morally good one. it just feels like the writers couldn't handle the agony of writing a female character who wasn't either 100% good or 100% evil, and god it pisses me off. i'm seriously so disappointed in this direction, and the echoes of that direction soured the entirety of season 13 for me. because not only was mary rewritten into the morally upstanding mother, she was also reduced and limited in her narrative role. she took a major backseat this season, and what she was allowed to do was wholly motherly and nurturing. she took care of jack, she... took care of jack, she insisted that the rest of the resistance camp return to the real world with them, she... well damn, she took really good care of jack! none of the reckless, short-sighted characterization of season 12 remains, all her ruthlessness was drained, all of her power and competence ignored, and she was left to a disappointing support role as jack's moral compass, a nurturing mother to help jack develop. i'm SO angry about this, if you can't tell. SO angry about it.

i really, really, really am not someone to say that a character "deserved better" because for one that's a stupid and pointless argument to get into and i find most commentary in that vein to be both entitled and advocating for wildly OOC behavior in pursuit of content that destroys narrative integrity and eliminates drama, plot, and conflict. but mary... god i'm just so disappointed with how they used her this season. they did such great work with her last season. and this season they flattened her into Mother. and i'm so unhappy with it. If You Can't Tell.

let's see. more positive comments: i like how rowena is developing. she still falls firmly into the camp of side characters who are weirdly shallow for the roles they occupy because this show is chronically incapable of crafting good side characters, BUT now that she's getting some on-screen developments there's more meat on her bones, and i like what she's doing. that said, i really disagree with the complete about-face she made from season 12 to 13. seriously what's with the difference in characterizations between 12 and 13...? i'm so so confused here. i don't understand why rowena would ever be so broken up about crowley dying considering she tried to kill him so many times—maybe whoever decided that was the same person who decided mary had to be Mother and nothing else. mother characters have to be Mother and Mother trumps all other facets of their personality, maybe? whatever it is, i'm so annoyed by it and i hope to god this gets better in season 14. please lord i can't keep doing this. i need my women problematic, fucked up, and irredeemable. please.

jack, i'll talk about jack briefly because i'm getting sleepy and holy shit i want to go to bed lmao. i really love his character, i think he's appropriately nuanced and it's very refreshing. i suppose it's because he's a main character, and supernatural handles its main characters far better than the side characters (my issues with cas and his narrative development notwithstanding). he creates so much natural conflict, and i love how he plays off of sam and dean in really organic and interesting ways. i love how he helps to continue dean's arc from season 6 regarding his ability to be a father, and i love how both sam and dean project themselves so heavily onto him and respond to him in drastically different ways according to that perception. it's really complex and layered, which results in fantastic interactions and well-written drama that i greatly appreciate. even jack's interactions with lucifer, as much as i dislike lucifer's character, managed to be engaging and compelling. i love how much everyone is fumbling through all of this (this being parenthood) throughout the season, and how none of them really take to it naturally and those bonds have to form out of mistakes and forgiveness. it feels really satisfying and i'm so, so happy with how it's panned out.

i've seen posts floating around that dean wasn't jack's father, at least not to the extent sam and cas were, but i wholeheartedly disagree and i think dean plays a really vital role in this parenting dynamic, and he's willing to step up in ways both sam and cas hesitate to. for better and for worse, of course. and i just adore that jack so earnestly seeks dean's approval, and that makes dean giving that approval that much sweeter and cathartic. dean was able to give jack what he never got from john, in a big way. or at least dean didn't get it until john was literally on his death bed. it's a lot of character development for dean, and i loved seeing that. and i love that it continued through the season, and dean was able to heal himself through jack and find the father inside of him that can break the cycle of abuse that he inevitably perpetuated through ben. like seriously, incredible character arc. i'm obsessed with it.

i've barely talked about sam's parenting jack because i really don't have much to say. like he did so well, even when he messed up, in reaching out to jack and trying so hard to be the father he never had. he's open and honest about his intentions, his goals, his love, and his care. even though he's not great at communicating, he tries, and that eventually conveys in a way jack understands and appreciates. it's a totally new side to sam that i was anticipating because of tumblr, but that i wouldn't have expected going in blind. he's not exactly cut out for domesticity—really he sucks at it. so seeing him forge himself through dogged effort into a father was really rewarding, and i think his earnest devotion to that cause was what carried him to success there. he's strong-willed and he proved that here, and it's just really heart-warming to see him interact with jack and take care of him the best he knows how to, all the while actively striving to learn better. it's awesome.

i know dean is possessed by an archangel at the moment but i really am hoping for some nice domestic co-parenting wincest moments next season. i need it to live, i think <3

i think this is probably long enough, and also my headache is getting worse because it wants me to sleep 💔 so i'll end this here and start my season 13 detox :) i can't believe i only have 40 episodes left of this show. it feels so unreal, and it actually makes me want to skip the detox and keep going, but i know i'll regret that decision so i'll be diligent and read my wincest porn to cope with bad writing.

[chaoticfandomgirly]

Supernatural s15 Finale

Okay, so I have something big to confess.

I actually didn't mind how Supernatural ended.

Now, before you all come raging in the comments, hear me out !

You see, Dean dying really wasn't something controversial in my opinion. He was someone who did a lot of questionable things throughout his journey . A lot of people death's are on him. Now, I am not saying he didn't deserve to live. Not at all. But I do think that Dean was not happy with his life. Time and time again it was shown that his will to truly live only extended till his brother was alive. For all the saving the world and stuff, he always, and I mean ALWAYS, prioritized Sam. And throughout the show you can see the PTSD and the depression that Dean suffered through.

AND let's not forget, by the end of s15 almost every character that Dean cared about was either gone or dead. Bobby? Dead. Ellen and Joe? Dead. Mary and John? Dead. Charlie? Dead. Rowena? Queen of Hell. Crowley? Dead. Jack? Gone. Lisa and Ben? Gone.

And CAS? FUCKING DEAD.

So, it does make sense that he went to Heaven and reunited with everyone he had lost. And not to mention he got a perfect heaven, where he could be FINALLY at peace. After saving the world a billion times he did deserve a break but he said it himself that he would only ever go down swinging.

So the lyric, "Lay your weary head down to rest," came to fruition.

And as for him being without Sam? That time apart was as long as a road trip around Heaven's garden for him.

Though, to imagine that Sam had to live without Dean, and raise a son who would never get to know his uncle. Sam's brother. The person who he loved most. Now that made me cry. (And yes I did cry! I am not completely heartless! Just a writer who like to analyse stuff.)

But yeah, out of all the things that happened in the last season, the ending was what made sense to me. Because the alternative was Dean carrying on with his life as a hunter with none of the beloved characters in sight. And Sam being right there with Dean, and possibly not having a family, because he would not leave his brother.

And for everyone who says that Dean was a family man and deserved to have a family? I will say this again. Yes he was a family man and deserved to raise his own kids. But how would he do that when none of his real family besides Sam existed? And let's not forget...Cas. As a destiel shipper I don't believe that Dean could have moved on and started a family without him.

So yeah, there, I rest my case now.