#how sam truly believed dean was dead

[homehauntsyou]

I hate how some people act like, when dean disappeared at the end of s7, sam just dusted off his hands, went “oh well,” and immediately got with amelia?? like just because they didn’t show him going through it on camera doesn’t mean that didn’t happen. or that the months of grieving were any less real. this man had just recovered from months of hallucinating the devil and then lost his only connection to reality and is always always always canonically suicidal whenever dean dies. he didn’t want to take his brother from (what he thought was) a better place and just did what he thought dean would’ve wanted. just because sam didn’t kill himself to tear dean from (what he believed to be) heaven doesn’t mean he wasn’t devastated over the loss of his brother.

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Dead Man's Blood | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, daddy issues, mentions of parental death

Word Count: 5022

A/N: Cannot believe we're at the penultimate episode of my version of the first season Supernatural!! Crazy!! Thank you guys so much for the love and support; I truly appreciate it.

When season 2 starts, the taglist will be closed! If you'd like to join and haven't already, please let me know!

Mobile Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

Supernatural Series Rewrite Playlist

You and the Winchester boys sat at a table in a diner searching for possible cases to take on. You sat at your laptop on the side of the table with Sam and Dean to your right and left. 

Dean looked through a newspaper and folded it up in frustration. “Well, not a decent lead in all of Nebraska. What’ve you got, Sammy?”

“I've been scanning Wyoming, Colorado, South Dakota... here. A woman in Iowa fell ten thousand feet from an airplane and survived,” Sam responded.

“Sounds more like ‘that's Incredible’ than, uh, 'Twilight Zone'.”

“Yeah, I agree,” you said.

“Hey you know we could just keep heading east. New York. Upstate. We could drop by and see Sarah again. Huh? Cool chick, man, smokin'.” Dean whistled lowly. “You two seemed pretty friendly. What do you say?”

“Yeah, I don’t know, maybe someday. But in the meantime we got a lot of work to do Dean, and you know that,” Sam stated.

“Yeah, alright. How ‘bout you, (Y/N)?”

“Uh, man in Colorado, local man named Daniel Elkins was found mauled in his home,” you said, continuing to scan the web page before you.

“Elkins? I know that name,” Dean said.

You shrugged as Sam said, “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

Dean muttered the man’s name over and over.

“Sounds like the police don't know what to think. At first they said it was some sort of bear attack, now, they've found some signs of robbery,” you continued.

Dean took out his father’s journal and began to flick through it. “There, check it out.” He turned the book around to you and Sam and pointed at a contact reading “D. Elkins” with the man’s phone number next to it.

“You think it's the same Elkins?” Sam questioned.

“It's a Colorado area code.”

“Alright, Colorado it is. Let’s go, kids,” you said. 

***

You and the boys made your way to the remote cabin of Daniel Elkins and picked the lock to his home. You cringed at the sight of your messy surroundings once inside. Books were everywhere, mad scribblings on stray pages covered the floor, and the furniture seemed to not have been dusted in years.

“Looks like the maid didn't come today,” Dean remarked.

You crouched down at the entrance of the home and fingered something on the floor. “Hey, got some salt over here.”

“You mean protection against demon salt, or 'oops I spilled the popcorn' salt?” Dean asked.

You gave him a dirty look. “Clearly a ring. Elkins was a player?”

“Definitely,” Dean responded. 

You rose to go stand beside the brothers and look over the journal they were flicking through.

“That looks a hell of a lot like Dad's,” said Sam as he flipped through the pages.

“Yep, except this dates back to the '60s,” Dean added.

You led the brothers into another room and took in the shattered skylights. You moved your flashlight around the room and took in the fact that somehow, this room was messier than the other ones.

“Whatever attacked him, it looks like there was more than one,” Sam said, referencing the damage to the skylights. It seemed there were two separate entry points through them.

“Looks like he put up a hell of a fight, too,” the older brother added. He crouched down to the floor.

“You got something?” you asked, crouching beside him.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “Some scratches on the floor.”

“Death throes maybe?” Sam suggested.

Dean grabbed a page from a notebook on top of the desk beside you and placed it over the spot on the ground. He rubbed a pencil over the top to create an outline. “Or maybe a message.” He peeled up the paper that now had a lot of blood on the back and showed you and Sam the rubbings of the characters. “Look familiar?”

“Three letters, six digits. The location and combination of a post office box. It's a mail drop,” you said.

Dean looked to his brother. “Just the way Dad does it.”

***

You and the boys found a letter in the mailbox labeled with the numbers and letters from the floor’s message. You leaned over the back seat of the car and read off the letters on the envelope.

“ ‘J.W.’ Gotta be John Winchester, right?” you said.

“I don't know. Should we open it?” Dean turned his head to you.

A knock on Dean’s window came before any of you could say another word. You reared back and grabbed your gun from your belt, pointing it at the sound.

“Dad?” Dean breathed out.

You breathed out sharply as John opened the door and slid into the seat next to you. “I almost shot you, dude.”

He chuckled at you.

“Dad, what are you doing here? Are you alright?” Sam asked, turning to face him.

John’s gravelly voice seemed even more tired and worn than the last time you’d seen him. “Yeah, I'm okay. I read the news about Daniel; I got here as fast as I could. I saw you three at his place.”

“Why didn't you come in, Dad?”

“You know why. Because I had to make sure you weren't followed. By anyone or anything. Nice job of covering your tracks, by the way.”

Dean looked a little proud. “Yeah, well, we learned from the best.”

“Wait, you came all the way out here for this Elkins guy?” Sam questioned.

John nodded. “He was— He was a good man. Taught me a hell of a lot about hunting.”

“Well, you never mentioned him to us.”

“We had a— we had kind of a falling out. I hadn't seen him in years.” He gestured to the envelope. “I should look at that.” He opened it. “ 'If you're reading this, I'm already dead'... that son of a bitch.”

“What is it?” his eldest son asked.

“He had it the whole time.”

Sam looked at him confused. “Dad, what?”

“When you searched the place, did you— did you see a gun? An antique, a Colt revolver, did you see it?”

You shook your head. “I saw an old case, but it was empty.”

John sighed. “They have it.”

“You mean, whatever killed Elkins?” Dean asked.

John started to get out of the car. “We gotta pick up the trail.”

“Wait, you want us to come with you?” Sam scoffed.

“If Elkins was telling the truth, we gotta find this gun,” John rushed out.

“The gun? Why?”

“Because it's important, that's why.”

‘He’s even more of a hardass than Dean.’

“Dad, we don't even know what these things are yet,” the younger son protested.

“They were what Daniel Elkins killed best: Vampires.”

Your heart nearly dropped at the mention of those creatures.

“I thought they were extinct. I thought Elkins and others had wiped them out. I was wrong,” John said. 

“Damn right,” you jumped in, not realizing the sudden venom lacing your words.

The three men stared back at you, and you shrank awkwardly.

John continued to explain. “Most vampire lore is crap. A cross won't repel them, sunlight won't kill them, and neither will a stake to the heart. But the bloodlust, that part's true. They need fresh human blood to survive. They were once people, so you won't know it's a vampire until it's too late.”

Anxiety clawed at your throat. You hadn’t faced any vampires since the death of your family.

***

You and the Winchesters found a decently priced motel to stay in to get your bearings before you went after the vampires. You watched Sam and Dean sleeping peacefully on their beds, but you were unable to get a wink. You and John sat on opposite sides of the table in the room listening to the police scanner.

You admired Dean’s relaxed features. You rarely saw him this at-ease. You wished you could be sleeping beside him, but your own mind was keeping you awake. The eldest Winchester looked over at you and whispered over the hum of the police scanner. “How’ve they been?” he asked.

You sighed. “They’re alright, I think. Been driving themselves crazy looking for you, though.”

He chuckled softly. “I figured they were.” He paused for a minute. 

“They need you more than they need me,” you said. “You should stay with ‘em. I’ll be hitting the road in a little while, I think.”

“Don’t,” he said. “They’ll need you when this is all over.”

“What? You’re not gonna stay?” You turned your head to John.

“I don’t think so,” he shook his head. 

You were disgusted at him. “Look, no disrespect, but that’s crap.”

He seemed caught off-guard. “And why’s that?” he challenged.

“Sam’s a mess. You walked out on Dean. Your boys deserve their father," you whispered harshly.

“Don’t act like you know me,” he hissed. “Dean’s a grown man. He’ll get over it. Sam, too. I’m not abandoning them; it’s just not safe.”

“Just call a spade a spade, John. Abandonment ‘for their safety’ is still abandonment,” you argued. 

“You don’t think I wanna be with my kids—?"

“No, I don’t actually,” you cut him off.

Before he could continue to argue with you, something on the police scanner caught your attention.

“Unit 22 let me confirm. Mile marker 41, abandoned car. You need a workup?” the static voice said.

“Copy that. Possible 207. Better get forensics out here,” another voice said.

“Sam, Dean, let's go,” John slapped their feet as he stood, his voice still gravelly from his anger with you.

“Mm-hmm,” Dean muttered, though still asleep.

Sam sat up and Dean rubbed his eyes.

“There’s a call on the scanner,” you said.

“(Y/N), did you get any sleep?” the older brother slurred sleepily.

“That’s not important right now,” you told him. “C’mon.”

“What happened?” Sam asked.

“A couple called 911,; found a body in the street. Cops got there and everyone was missing. It's the vampires,” John explained.

“How do you know?”

“Just follow me, okay?” John said, leaving the room. 

You turned to Sam who was putting his jacket on. “It’s how they hunt. They lay in the middle of the road and wait for somebody to pull over. By the time they get up close and personal, it’s too late. Then they leave.”

Dean sat up, still half-asleep. “You gonna be okay?” he asked you.

“I’m fine,” you responded. You could tell he didn’t believe you, but you left him behind without waiting for an argument.

***

John was talking to the cops while you and the brothers stood back by the Impala under the cover of the trees. He refused to look at you after your argument, and you refused to speak to him. You wouldn’t engage with a man who walked out on his children and put Dean through so much.

“I don't see why we couldn't have gone over with him,” the brunet sighed sulkily.

“Oh, don't tell me it's already starting.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“What's starting?” Sam asked.

John walked up before either of you could answer.

“What have you got?” Dean asked his dad.

“It was them, alright. Looks like they're heading west. We'll have to double back to get around that detour,” John explained.

“How can you be so sure?” Sam challenged.

“Sam—” Dean tried.

“I just wanna know we're going in the right direction,” Sam told him sharply.

“We are,” John responded.

You stood back next to Dean, trying not to get involved in the fight.

“How do you know?”

John handed something to his oldest son. “I found this.”

“It's a vampire fang.”

“Not a fang, teeth. They’ve got a second set that comes out when they attack,” you explained, looking over Dean’s shoulder at the tooth.

“Any more questions?” John challenged Sam.

Sam looked away and stayed silent. 

“Alright, let's get out of here, we're losing daylight,” John said. Everything he said was said with authority. “Hey, Dean, why don't you touch up your car before you get rust? I wouldn't have given you the damn thing if I thought you were going to ruin it,” he gruffly spat at his son before heading to his truck.

You angrily stared after the man before looking over at Dean, who grimaced and got into the passenger’s seat.

Sam drove, keeping a close follow on John’s truck. You rested your chin on Dean’s shoulder, looking over the excerpt he was reading about vampires in your journal. He read aloud to you and Sam. “ ‘Vampires nest in groups of eight to ten. Smaller packs are sent to hunt for food. Victims are taken to the nest where the pack keeps them alive, bleeding them for days or weeks.’ I wonder if that's what happened to that 911 couple.”

Sam grumbled, “That's probably what Dad's thinking. Course, it would be nice if he just told us what he thinks.”

“So it is starting,” Dean sighed.

“What?”

“Sam, we've been looking for Dad all year. Now we're not with him for more than a couple of hours and there's static already?” 

Sam huffed. “No. Look, I'm happy he's okay, alright? And I'm happy that we're all working together again.” 

“Well, good,” Dean said. 

The younger brother was unable to help himself. “It's just the way he treats us, like we're children.”

“Oh, God.” You sat back in the seat, doing your best to ignore the fight between the brothers.

“He barks orders at us Dean, he expects us to follow 'em without question. He keeps us on some crap need-to-know deal,” Sam argued.

“He does what he does for a reason.”

“What reason?”

“Our job! There's no time to argue, there's no margin for error, alright? That's just the way the old man runs things.”

“Yeah, well, maybe that worked when we were kids but not anymore, all right. Not after everything you and I have been through, Dean. I mean, are you telling me you're cool with just falling into line and letting him run the whole show?” Sam looked over at his brother angrily.

Dean gave Sam a long look before strongly responding, “If that's what it takes.”

Sam shook his head and returned his eyes to the road.

A few minutes later, Dean was on the phone with his dad. “Yeah, Dad. Alright, got it.” He hung up. “Pull off at the next exit.”

Sam’s frustrated tone was back. “Why?”

“ ‘Cause Dad thinks we've got the vampire's trail,” Dean said matter-of-factly.

“How,” Sam somehow sounded angrier.

“I don't know. He didn't say,” Dean responded.

Sam gunned the engine, and pulled in front of his dad’s truck before slamming the breaks.

“What are you doing, Sam?” you asked.

Sam got out of the car without answering you.

“Oh, crap. Here we go.” Dean followed his brother out of the car. “Sam!”

You just watched from the back seat, deciding not to get between the family’s brawl.

You watched in the driver’s side rear view mirror as John and Sam got in each other’s faces. Dean was trying to pull the two apart, and you could make out some of what they were screaming at each other about.

Sam approached the car again before spinning back around at his father. You often got in fights like that with your own father but more about his treatment of you and your brother. You knew better than to argue his orders.

“You were just pissed off that you couldn't control me anymore!” Sam yelled loudly enough for you to hear.

Dean then shoved the two apart, forcing Sam back to the car. Sam got back in the driver’s seat, still enraged.

“Sam, do you want me to—”

“No,” he snapped at you.

“Oh-kay, then.”

***

You and the brothers sat in the trees watching the beat-up barn the vampires called home. Dean stood beside you and cursed, “Son of a bitch. So they're really not afraid of the sun?” as he watched the vampires climb into a car, shielding their faces with their hands.

“Nope,” you said. “Direct sunlight just stings like a badass sunburn.”

“The only way to kill 'em is by beheading. And yeah, they sleep during the day— doesn't mean they won't wake up,” John added.

“So I guess walking right in's not our best option,” Dean said.

“Actually, that's the plan,” John grinned.

You and the brothers flipped open the trunk of the Impala and began grabbing machetes. John did the same with his truck, but his was outfitted with a fancy, automatic, hidden compartment.

“Here, (Y/N).” Dean handed you a rusty machete.

You caught sight of the giant blade their dad was holding. “Whoa, why don’t you have any like that?”

Dean snorted and turned his head. “Wow.”

John paused, closing his trunk. “So, you boys really wanna know about this Colt?”

“Yes, sir,” said Sam.

“It's just a story, a legend really. Well, I thought it was. Never really believed it until I read Daniel's letter,” John began. “Back in 1835, when Halley's comet was overhead, the same night those men died at the Alamo, they say Samuel Colt made a gun. A special gun. He made it for a hunter, a man like us only on horseback. Story goes he made thirteen bullets, and this hunter used the gun a half dozen times before he disappeared, the gun along with him. And somehow, Daniel got his hands on it. They say... They say this gun can kill anything.”

“Kill anything, like, supernatural anything?” Dean breathed.

“Like the demon,” Sam connected.

“Yeah, the demon. Ever since I picked up its trail I've been looking for a way to destroy that thing. Find the gun, and we may have it.”

“Wait, and you couldn’t tell your kids that why?” you snarled.

“(Y/N)—” Dean scolded, but you couldn’t help yourself.

John just looked at his eldest son. “What exactly made you keep her around for so long?”

“Both of you, stop it,” Dean said. "Let’s get these fuckers while we have the chance.”

You backed off, tension dissolving a little at Dean’s words. You looked between the boys and their father. Their faces conveyed complex emotions you couldn’t quite read.

Silently, you and Dean flanked one end of the barn while Sam took the other with his father.

You and Dean jumped through a barn window and walked around their hammocks carefully. Dean accidentally kicked an empty bottle on the ground, and you froze. You made a worried face and looked over to Dean, who froze as well.

The vampire next to Dean stirred, but didn’t wake up. You and Dean continued on until you found a woman tied up against a pole. You weren’t sure if she was sleeping or unconscious. 

“Dean,” you whispered, crouching beside the woman. He came over to you as you began to untie her. You heard a noise behind you, and Dean went over to investigate.

“There’s more,” he said, grabbing something to break the locks on the metal cages a distance away from you.

The woman you were untying began to stir, and you did your best to assure her you were here to help.

The woman awoke and let out an unearthly roar. 

“Dean!” you called, shooting up.

“Kids, run!” John called to you after hearing your voice. You and Dean sprinted out of the building, yelling for Sam as you did so. The vampires chased you, but you used the daylight to your advantage. You broke back through the trees and returned to the cars.

“Dad?! Sam!” Dean called. The two then came back up the slope. 

“They won't follow. They'll wait till tonight. Once a vampire has your scent, it's for life,” John said.

“Well, what the hell do we do now?” Dean questioned.

“You gotta find the nearest funeral home, that's what.”

You knew where John was going with this. You smiled at the boys who seemed confused. “C’mon, Dean,” you said, patting his shoulder. You turned to the Impala, and Sam and his father got in the latter’s truck.

Dean cruised down the road to the funeral home you had found and were planning to break into. 

“What the hell was that earlier?” Dean asked frustratedly as soon as the car doors were shut.

“What?”

“With my dad, (Y/N), why would you say something like that?!”

"Look, we got in a fight while you and Sam were sleeping. I just don’t like how he treats you guys,” you admitted.

“Well, thanks, but don’t. Sam’s enough for me right now as it is,” he responded.

A few moments passed, and you looked down at your hands. “I’m sorry,” you said quietly.

Dean sighed. “It’s okay.” He snorted after a moment. “Not many people would stand up to my dad like that.”

You smiled, eyes still on your hands folded in your lap. “He reminds me a lot of my dad. John and Sam fight exactly how my dad and I did. Steven always had to break us apart.”

“I just don’t understand why Sam can’t leave the old man alone,” Dean told you. “I mean, we spent so fucking long looking for ‘im, and as soon as we find him, he’s pickin’ fights.”

You nodded in understanding. “I get why he’s upset, but I agree that it’s the wrong place and wrong time right now. I mean, despite the fact that I picked a fight with him. Again, mistake on my part.” 

“Agreed.”

You let a moment of silence pass before you spoke again. “Dee?”

“Hm.”

“Now that we’ve found your dad, do you still want me here?”

He turned his head toward you. “Of course, I do. You’re not gettin’ rid of us that easy.”

You grinned. “Good. After a year of all this, you guys have become my new normal. I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to being alone again.”

Dean smirked and turned back to the road, pulling into the parking lot of the funeral home. 

After a few lies and a bit of breaking and entering, you and Dean were headed back to the motel with dead man’s blood in hand.

“What does that stuff do exactly?” Dean asked you as he drove.

“It’s kinda like vampire food poisoning. Pretty useful stuff,” you explained.

“How’ve you been with this whole thing?” he asked.

“What, the vampires?”

Dean nodded.

“Winchester, are you goin’ soft on me? Since when do you care to get into the touchy-feely?” you joked.

He rolled his eyes in response. “Answer the damn question, (Y/N).”

You sighed, dropping your plucky attitude. “I’m okay, I think. I just— I haven’t hunted any vamps since my parents died. Any time I sniffed any out, I ran the other way. It’s kind of ironic that the one thing I fucking hate hunting has the one thing we need to kill this demon.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, well, y’know… Just…” 

“There’s my boy. Having trouble with moments of sincerity once more,” you gibed but became serious once more as he rolled his eyes. “I know. If I need anything, I’ll let you know.”

***

You were surprised to find John and Sam laughing when you reentered their motel room.

“Whew. Man, some heavy security to protect a bunch of dead guys,” Dean said.

“Get it?” John asked.

You reached into Dean’s jacket pocket and pulled out a paper bag with a bottle full of blood inside it. You handed it over to the eldest Winchester.

“You know what to do,” he said.

***

You hated watching that creature feel Dean up and kiss him, but you knew you needed to let it happen for the sake of getting the Colt from the vampires. You’d already nearly beheaded her when she backhanded him.

Another vampire appeared behind the woman holding Dean in the air by his face, and that was when you made your move. You used a crossbow to shoot both of the vampires straight between their ribs, and the girl holding Dean dropped him.

“Dammit,” she cursed as you approached the group from the trees. “It barely even stings.”

“Give it time, babe,” you told her. “That arrow’s soaked in dead man’s blood. Should be giving you a nasty tummy ache any second.” You pouted at her mockingly as she began to waver and lose consciousness.

“Load her up,” John ordered you and his sons. “I'll take care of this one.” Moments later, you heard a slashing noise and blood splattering coming from behind you as you finished loading the girl into Dean’s trunk.

***

You met John in a clearing in the woods where you and Sam were setting up a campfire. Dean tied the unconscious vampiress to a tree, and you circled her, fuming.

“Easy, tiger,” Dean told you. “Don’t kill her just yet.”

“I’m tryin’ not to,” you responded, gripping the handle of your machete tightly.

He chuckled at you and turned to his dad.

“Toss this on the fire. Saffron, skunk's cabbage, and trillium. It'll block our scent and hers until we're ready,” John commanded.

“Stuff stinks!” Dean coughed.

“That's the idea. Dust your clothes with the ashes, and you stand a chance of not being detected,” his father replied.

“You sure they'll come after her?” Sam asked his dad.

“Vampires mate for life,” you broke in. “She means more to the leader than the gun.”

“But the blood sickness is going to wear off soon, so you don't have a lot of time,” John added.

“A half hour oughta do it,” shrugged Sam.

“And then I want you out of the area as fast as you can,” John stated.

The boys began to protest.

“Well, Dad, you can't take care of them all yourself,” Dean said.

“I'll have her,” John replied, referencing the passed-out vampire. “And the Colt.”

“But after. We're gonna meet up, right? Use the gun together. Right?” Sam looked at his father expectantly. There was a long pause before Sam spoke again. “You're leaving again, aren't you. You still wanna go after the demon alone." Hes scoffed mockingly. "You know, I don't get you. You can't treat us like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like children.”

“You are my children. I'm trying to keep you safe.”

Dean spoke up much to your surprise. “Dad, all due respect, but, uh, that's a bunch of crap.”

“Excuse me?” the older man scoffed.

“You know what Sammy and I have been hunting. Hell, you sent us on a few hunting trips yourself. You can't be that worried about keeping us safe,” Dean argued.

“It's not the same thing, Dean.”

“Then what is it? Why do you want us out of the big fight?”

“This demon? It's a bad son of a bitch. I can't make the same moves if I'm worried about keeping you alive,” John responded.

“You mean you can't be as reckless.”

“Look, I don't expect to make it out of this fight in one piece. Your mother's death… it almost killed me. I can't watch my children die too. I won't,” John admitted.

“What happens if you die? Dad, what happens if you die, and we could’ve done something about it?" He let his words hang in the air for a moment. "You know, I've been thinking. I think maybe Sammy's right about this one. We should do this together,” Dean stated.

Sam nodded as his brother continued. “We're stronger as a family, Dad. We just are. You know it.”

John’s walls went back up. “We're running out of time. You do your job, and you get out of the area. That's an order.”

Dean looked down at the ground, and you watched him carefully as he tried to suppress his rising emotions. 

***

After you and the boys freed the people that had been locked up in the vampires’ barn, you went to find John and the members of the nest. You found them just in time because John had been knocked on his ass by the vampire you’d kidnapped.

You and the brothers hurried out of the trees and began shooting vampires with a crossbow. You moved toward the leader with your machete, but he backhanded you and held you in a headlock with his arm around your throat. 

You struggled against him as he addressed Dean, who was holding a machete of his own. “Don't! I'll break her neck. Put the blade down.”

Dean hesitated.

Luther tightened his hold on your neck, causing you to struggle more. “It’d be a real shame for her to die.” He dug his nose in your hair and sniffed deeply. “She’s pretty. I’d love having her around. Drop it!”

Dean did as told, and his jaw clenched in fury. 

“You people. Why can't you leave us alone? We have as much right to live as you do,” the leader said.

“I don’t think so,” came John’s voice from behind you. The vampire spun you and himself around to face John, who shot the vampire in the middle of his forehead. He dropped you to the floor, and Dean rushed to your side.

You turned and watched a sigil appear on the man’s forehead where he’d been shot as his girlfriend screamed in agony. “Luther!”

The vampire slumped to the ground, dead. The vampiress started toward John, but was pulled away by her friend to get to their car. They took off, wheels screaming and leaving you in the dust.

***

You sat in the brothers’ motel room, having finished packing long before they had as usual. John entered the room and addressed his sons. “So, boys.”

They stopped packing and turned to face him. “Yes, sir.”

“You ignored a direct order back there,” he said crossly.

“Yes, sir.” Sam hung his head low.

Dean argued, “Yeah, but we saved your ass.”

John held his son’s challenging stare, and you swallowed nervously.

“You're right,” John admitted much to your surprise.

“I am?”

If it weren’t for the situation, you would’ve laughed at Dean’s adorably clueless face.

“It scares the hell out of me. You two are all I've got. But I guess we are stronger as a family. So… we go after this damn thing. Together.”

You smiled as the two boys said in unison, “Yes, sir.”

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @iloveshawn @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @davina-clairee @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @stephshaww @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @here-for-the-extravaganza @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @rei0812 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @more-espresso-less-depresso-og @mysticmyth @favoritefandoms27 @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @skys-writings @immagods @metalblindbitch @missmieux @yoongi-holland

hi there lovebugs!! quite a few tags were broken :( if i've misspelled your tag, please let me know! make sure you have my blog notifs on so you don't miss an update!!

[wellofdean]

So...thinking about Dean and Jack...

Jack is not a child. He is NEW, but he is a cosmic being of unknowable power who was cognizant enough in the womb to save Kelly because he was still using her body as an incubator, and to show Cas a manipulative, glorious vision of his future actions specifically as they relate to Cas's desires. When he is born, he speaks English and understands peril, has the physical strength and angelic power to defend himself. He doesn't understand the world, but he is a VERY fast learner. There are a lot of ways in which children are vulnerable and need protection that simply do not apply to Jack at all. He is not a baby, physically or mentally.

Where Jack is vulnerable is in his sense of self and his identity. He is emotionally and spiritually vulnerable, and he is vulnerable to manipulation. From the first time Sam talks to him, he is asking Jack if he can re-open the rift, and Sam DOES want to use him. I don't blame Sam for that, it's a perfectly logical thing to want. Sam believes Mary might still be alive, and he wants to use Jack to go see, and hell, maybe as a weapon, too. Sam needs to believe that Jack can be good and useful to them, and he is not really honest with Jack at first. Dean is right about that.

Dean, though? Dean is completely, 100% honest with Jack in every interaction, no matter how ugly the truth. He tells Jack exactly what he thinks and feels. He has a very reasonable reaction to Jack as a still-unknown cosmic power, and Dean quite reasonably sees him as the reason Cas is dead. Dean is emotional and grieving, but he is honest. Later, as he comes to see Jack as something other than a threat, he is kind to Jack while still being honest. When he comes to love Jack, he loves him honestly. He never lies or manipulates Jack even one time until they lure him into the mal'ak box, and when they talk him into it, Dean can barely look at Jack and makes Sam do the talking, because he really just can't. Lie. To. Jack.

Jack emulates, loves and respects Dean. When Jack thinks Dean has to kill him, he understands and accepts it because he trusts Dean. I think Jack looks to Dean for an honest, clear-eyed assessment of his situation. Cas is blinded by love, Sam is more interested in utility, and Dean is being forced to sacrifice Jack, who has become his and Cas's son -- his family. If Dean can do it, Jack is willing to submit, and then DEAN CAN'T DO IT.

it makes no sense to me to apply real-world child/parent roles to them, to compare Dean with John, who was raising human children, or to think of Jack as an actual human child, and I don't blame Dean for any of it. Dean is so emotionally compromised in so many different ways and I think there is a widespread tendency to begrudge Dean his legitimate feelings when they aren't comfortable, and to apply reality-based roles to these characters who are not at all living normal lives. When it comes down to it, Dean STILL loves Jack (and Cas!) too much to kill Jack or to lie to him, even after Jack oopsie-daisy kills Mary in a moment of uncontrolled panic and has no soul and can't tell right from wrong, and can't even feel remorse. Jack is legitimately dangerous, and Dean is not wrong to try to contain that.

And, by the end of the story, when Dean is saying Jack is not family, not like Cas and Sam are, Dean has lost his compass, and we know that because he also deceives Amara, and tries to kill Sam. Dean is truly in error in those scenes, and doing the wrong things, and seriously, Dean is so good, so self-sacrificing, so full of love that I am able to forgive him a moment of error at the climax of his existential crisis. By that time, Jack is a complex character who is as heavy with grief and guilt as Dean is, and who feels the weight of the world, like Dean does, and who understands Dean.

Is Dean perfect? No. Is Jack a child? No.

I'm just going to say it: I think Dean was a good father to Jack, because what Jack needed more than anything else was honest information about who he was, what threat he posed, who loved him, and HOW to love, so that he could decide who he was and what he wants to be.

He got that from Dean.

[chaoticfandomgirly]

If you ask me what was the most heartbreaking scene in supernatural, then sorry to disappoint because it was not when either of the Winchester brothers died or when Cas died, even Bobby, Crowley, Charlie and anyone in the show. Don't get me wrong, these scenes are heartbreaking alright, but dying became such a recurring theme that I found it hard to shed a few tears. I was mostly left with sadness and numbness.

But the scene that really fucked me up was when Sam and Dean coerced Jack into the Ma'alak box. I mean, here is a child who is new to the world that he barely understands, he has a fucked up family tree and powers he doesn't know how to control. He made a mistake because of said powers and wasn't even conscious enough to understand what he'd done. The only people he trusted, the ones he thought of as his fathers, were now plotting to lock him up possibly forever, while his other father figure was missing. This child was there with no one to protect him but himself.

And, to add to this scene, it kind of showed just how far and insane dean had gone. In that moment he became an image of John which was even worse. All of his character arc seemed to have gone down the drain and made him unrecognizable. I think I never hated Dean more than in that moment.

I get that he was grieving Mary, but tbh, she wasn't really mother of the year when she had come back (which I understand). Plus Mary coming back was a big deal in on itself in the first place. She was supposed to be dead (as were a lot of characters). I also believe that Mary shouldn't have provoked Jack when he was in such an emotional state and had been warning her to back off.

I just feel so enraged whenever I think about this scene because Jack, despite being the most anticipated villain in the former seasons, was also the purest and the most well-intentioned character out of them all. I could not find a single fault in him.

I just wish Dean hadn't done that because it doesn't suit him at all after having the reputation of loving kids. Especially not after admitting to being somewhat of a father to Jack. I could understand his initial reservations (even tho I was still furious) but what he did with ma'alak box was after he had a bond with him. And it was definitely not father of the year stuff. Kind of detested Sam too for not protesting enough against Dean but at least he had the decency to feel ashamed and seem regretful. I just, I can't.

I love Dean, truly. But sometimes he is a major asshole and this scene is something I vehemently refuse to believe as canon. I don't like the last 3 season at all in fact.

[apocalypseornaw]

Wanna be Yours (Pt 2/5)

Sam Winchester x Reader

Sam's starting to develop feelings for you, the problem? He's certain you and Dean are something

@lacilou 's idea

Sam watched you out the corner of his eye. You were sitting cross legged in the middle of Dean's bed in the most recent motel the three of you had stopped at. You'd gotten this case first and had called him and Dean in for the assist. You'd ran across a rather large nest and they were dropping bodies fast.

You had vials of dead man's blood laid out around you and were sharpening machetes. Dean had went to do a quick drive by of the place the nest was held up in which left just you and Sam. The plan was simple, the three of you go in and clear them out then hit the road.

You glanced up after a moment and smiled when you caught his eye. After Hayley's death you and him had become fairly decent friends, you'd call him when you needed to talk about the heavy stuff and he'd confided some things about his own losses.

You were one of the smartest hunters he'd ever met, beautiful and sarcastic enough to rival Dean. You were sweet to those you cared about and any victims you ran across but also fierce as hell when it came down to it. He was beginning to feel things he thought had been buried with Jess, the problem? You were Dean's.

The two of you weren't overly obvious and maybe not even exclusive but the way you two were around each other? You and Dean moved as a unit on hunts, not having to speak to seemingly know what the other wa thinking, he'd say it was a thing of beauty if he wasn't jealous on some level.

He hadn't meant to develop feelings for you, he truly hadn't but it was nearly impossible being in close quarters with you and not.

---------------

You defended him at moments Dean had doubted him, when he got hurt on a hunt you'd patch him up and at bars you'd drag him out on the dance floor laughing like a mad woman when Dean would tease "C'mon Y/N! Don't break Sammy"

He would say he wished he'd met you first but considering you met Dean when you both were nineteen, that wouldn't have changed anything since that would've put him and fifteen.

--------------

He hadn't realized he'd sighed aloud until you spoke his name. He looked up again and you smiled "You good honey? Kind of need your head in the game. Me nor Dean would want anything happening to you"

He nodded "Yeah Y/N, I'm good. I promise" you didn't seem to fully believe him but nodded nonetheless "Ok, ya know you can talk to me. I might not be Dean but I do care about you too" that made him smile more genuinely "I know" before either of you could say anything the door opened and Dean can walking in "Y/N, sweetheart you know how to pick cases don't ya?"

Sam fell back while you and Dean went back and forth teasing each other about past hunts gone weird. The banter between you and his older brother was so damn easy. After a minute you let out a whistle and when he looked up you were standing a little in front of him holding his machete out handle first "Freshly sharpened Mister Winchester" "Thanks Y/N"

"Dammit" you grunted under your breath. There were a few more vamps than you or Dean had thought. "CIRCLE UP" Dean shouted. You and him knew how to move together on hunts as did him and Sam so it was becoming a natural thing for the three of you to move together. The best plan for a nest this large? Keep a tight circle and don't let any between the three of you and make heads roll.

You reached out with your left hand and felt Sam's shoulder. "Well cmon then!" A flurry of movement came next. You would place bets on the three of you over anything, any day.

---------------

Within a few heartbeats the last vamps head was separated from its body and rolling across the floor. You leaned over with your hands on your thighs looking over the carnage surrounding you, blood was smeared across your face but it wasn't yours. You did a quick visual once over of both Winchesters, clocking the bruising starting on Sam's face and Dean favoring his side because him and you both had caught a decent kick to the gut.

All in all the three of you had faired decently enough "Well boys I say we skedaddle a couple counties over and grab some motel rooms then grab some food or some alcohol" "Or both?" Dean added and you winked at him "Reading my mind again Winchester. Tell ya what? I'll race ya for the county line. Winner picks the restaurant and the bar" "On you're on!" He laughed.

Sam shook his head "We gotta clean up after this first you two" you pointed towards him "and that's why he's the Stanford boy. He remembers shit we forget about too quickly" he grinned at your words as the three of you started arranging the bodies to torch the place.

---------------

You stumbled when you grabbed a large body and nearly fell, had Sam not lurched forward to grab you before you could face plant in a puddle of blood. You braced one hand against his chest and he had an arm around your waist to steady you.

You raised an eyebrow at him before saying "Well damn Sam knew you were cute but didn't know you had the whole Disney prince sweep em off their feet thing going on" and was rewarded with a light blush gracing his cheeks before he said "It helps when the princess is slipping on vampire blood" you laughed at the quick come back "Good point"

Dean walked in the room and chuckled "Well what do we have here" Sam looked from you to Dean, his eyes widening "She slipped. I just caught her before she fell.." he made sure you were steady on your feet then quickly let go of you. He grabbed the body you slipped on and disappeared from the room before you or Dean could ask why he was acting weird.

@lacilou

@foxyjwls007

@nelachu2423

[rainroses45]

A Beating Heart

ཐིཋྀ⋆description: To love a spirit is to love everything but life itself, so when dean falls in love with you he falls into your casket (inspired by corpse bride) Dean x f.reader

ཐིཋྀ⋆a/n: guys i think im in love with dean also sam BUT DEAAN..anywho my english professor bailed so i wrote this out of ze boredom hope you enjoy (NOT EDITED)

ཐིཋྀ⋆song inspired: tequila and whiskey and Suffocation

ཐིཋྀ⋆warnings: umm death mention, skeleton, all that death and spirit stuff

Like any unloved thing, i don’t know if I’m real without a sinners touch. I don’t believe he would have seen me as one to love but rather one to tear apart.

My heart may not beat but I still feel it ache for his words. His simple words of “I do,” could calm the spirits around me and see his light.

His brother didn’t understand, the twisted relationship we had. He saw me as a another hunt. I was not his love. I want not to be his wife. I was a translucent window that glimmered under the pomegranates reflection. One. Two. Three. He was mine.

“Why do you look so sad, my dear?” His voice rang through the grove. The gentle wisps of the wind blowed my veil over my face.

“The night is still young Dean, you should return back to your brother.” I whispered. My face was still hidden from his view, but he could still see my eyes shimmer in the moonlight. A liquid so far fetch that it stained my cheeks like glitter.

The ring felt heavy on my finger. It felt like a chain that only I could break - yet he is the one with the key. A pity truly, if only I would have left and never returned to this corrupted world.

“My love, what do you speak about?” He walked over to me, getting down on one knee - a sight i wish to never see again- and brushed the veil over my head.

My eyes could not lie. What about us? What about all the broken happy ever afters? What about our love? I was a spirit. He was a human. I could not live for him and he could not die for me.

“We can’t marry.” The words sound strong yet my bones shake under the truth. “You must burn my body and forget about me.”

“No..no,” he looks at me with disbelief. “I refuse to believe you wish for me to rid you of this world…of this love…of this marriage.”

“It is true my- it is true Dean,” I corrected myself, whole heartily believing this was for the best.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth Y/n,” he grabbed my chin gently raising it to meet his eyes. Oh how I learned every shades of color his eyes presented, when I perish this world I hope to be wrapped under his gaze and nothing more than a hint of hazel to haunt me.

“You know I would haunt this plains with my weeping calls of love for you, but I cannot trap you under the same curse I have endured all these years.” I place my shaking hand on his cheek. His warm skin and the cold breeze felt the same. It was only the emotion that changed, after all I was dead.

“I will die with you,” he stands up abruptly. “I will hang myself where the very man left you and declare my heart as yours-“

“NO!” I reach forward grabbing his hand before he left. “You mustn’t kill yourself over me.”

“That is the only way we can be together,” Dean smiles as he holds both my hands in his. “I’m willing to die for you, and you are willing to do the same for me.”

I shake my head as tears begin to stain my cheeks, “no, I will die for my sake of being free and to give you the chance of love.” He looks at me confused. “Don’t you understand Dean, I’m hurting more here!” I yell, “trapped in this limbo of needing true love and a stupid ring to fulfill this curse, but it’s never enough…it’s never enough.” I whispered my last statement as I look down at my hands. The ring was leaving small burn marks on my hand, little signs of the destruction it will cause.

“I won’t burn your body.” He reaffirms, “I’m not destroying the woman I love, the woman I would give my own life for.”

“Then you leave me no choice.” My eyes began to darken their once ghostly white color turned black. Crows escaped the woods with a heeding call to death. The earth awoken at the call of its roots, simmering in the internal flame of hell.

“Don’t do this Y/n,” he tried to walk towards me but was quickly pushed back with an invisible force. “Sweetheart please, you can’t do this.” He grunted trying to break free.

“If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain,” silent whispers begin to chant as the world began to spin. “In the ice or in the sun, it’s all the same.”

“What are you doing?!” Dean yelled as a circled flame appeared in the middle of the forest.

“Yet I feel my heart is aching; thou it doesn’t beat, it’s breaking,” the crisp voices began to sing louder as the wind brushed my hair from my face.

“Doing something I should have done before,” I cry out to him as I push myself into the fire. “I’m sorry.” I say, a casket began to rise from the ground, a crack in the land of salty seas pooled beneath my feet.

“And the pain here that I feel, try and tell me it’s not real.” The voices echoed through Dean’s head, the sound of the screaming voices scattered his thoughts.

The casket opened revealing a skeleton wearing a tattered wedding dress. Each end of the dress began to burn at the salty taste of my tears. I was left to die, enslaved by my lonely husband, and murdered by the end of the nights howls.

“Please Y/n don’t do this, I beg you please.” He tried pulling away, his body pressed against an oak tree. “I need you.” He didn’t know that his tears fueled the flames, fueled the chanting of within the graveyard of Romeos and Juliets.

I smiled kindly at him as tears blinded my view. Finally, without another thought I said the finale line, “I know that I am dead; yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed.”

And with that a light blinded dean, and the force that once trapped him, faded away with the fire. He ran towards where I once stood and saw nothing but flutters of blue butterflies.

I was gone. I was free. I was loved. As pieces of me left with the lady of the night. A ring stayed there, with the words I wish I could have said.

I love you.

[sweetpapercroissant]

what i think a lot of people don’t get about sam’s motivations in s4 is that. he lost dean. saw him get torn open right in front of him and couldn’t do anything to stop it couldn’t save his brother. and yeah, dean comes back. and that is the only reason sam ever smiles again. the only reason sam lives. because he didn’t want to survive killing lilith, not even in lucifer rising after he’s sure he’s driven away dean for good. because sam doesn’t want to live without dean. he lost him, and just because dean came back doesn’t mean he didn’t still watch him die. just because dean’s alive again doesn’t mean sam didn’t watch him die. sam literally goes mad with grief. dean comes back but sam still has to live with that grief. still has to deal with it and he continues to do that same way he did when dean was dead, by holding on to his anger to drown out everything else. there are other reasons too of course. his shame and guilt about not being able to save dean. but my point is, s4 sam is still grieving. he’s grieving the loss of the one person he loves more than anything else. even when he comes back he can’t talk about it can’t deal with it because there’s 40 years and 4 months between them and they both changed irrevocably in that time and neither could understand what the other went through.

sam can’t possibly grasp what dean had been through. but dean can’t fathom what happened to sam because he truly expected him to heal and move on from his death. because he doesn’t really know (or believe) how much sam loves him, i don’t think either of them did. dean is so integral to sam, tied inside to his very core and when he died all of a sudden sam didn’t care anymore about anyone or anything, himself included. sam who has spent 3 seasons up until then (and in some ways his whole life) scared of turning monstrous runs towards monstrosity and evil with open arms to escape that pain and the prospect of living without dean. and i think fandom and dean himself would have an easier time sympathising with sam and his actions in s4 if they realised that it stems from his grief. of course we don’t have it rubbed in our noses because sam himself is running from that hurt, doesn’t want to face it, especially now that dean’s back because what’s even the point of the pain then? there are other factors and motivations but the heart of it is just that. he loves dean and he lost him and he lost a huge part of himself along with him. one of them came back and the other didn’t.

[disabled-dean]

Asterism of an F-Series Ford Pick Up- 17k

Now with BELOVED amv by @butch--dean 🖤

Summary: When you've been to hell, desire is isolating and ugly.

Or: Cas drives his truck for a case and Dean is exceptionally horny about it.

“Once on a hunt when he was a teenager, Dean had been caught too close to an explosive when it had gone off. There had been the moment when the projectile hit, and the moment when it had detonated. And just before it had, there had also been a moment when he had believed that maybe it wouldn’t.

He had thought about that moment for years, over and over again, until something else had taken its place. And the way that that moment was quiet, the way it was still- that is how this feels. To lie beside Cas in the bed of his truck, their shoulders barely touching.”

Follow @deancastruckwip for bonus content <3

Ten Minutes From Home [Lebanon Coda] WIP 48K

We've truly come a long way since the iconic:

"Physically restraining myself from writing a coda fic for Lebanon, where John stays over at the bunker, Cas comes home in the middle of the night & there's tension between him and Dean over whether or not they will still share a room, and then 29-year-old Mary has to sit through Thee most homophobic breakfast with her dead ex-husband, closeted son, and his common law married, ancient eldrich boyfriend."

This fic is a deep dive into some of the juicier elements of Lebanon, including- justice for Mary Winchester and her rich internal life, the intricate dance constructed around Dean's homosexuality and John's neglectful/abusive parenting and the impact of the Michael arc on Dean and Cas' relationship. Also features: recovering!alcoholic dean, a staggering amount of risky bunker sex, biblically accurate sibling interactions, and studies on objectification. Also Sam is practicing witchcraft as a treat, and I put that guy in eating disorder recovery (because he fucking needs it) <3

Haven't started posting this one! But you can follow @lebanon-wip for excerpts, inspo, and bonus content <3

An Easier Softer Way WIP 38k

Recovery!natural. Injured after the hell rescue goes wrong, Dean ends up disabled and living in a small rural town in Eastern Washington. With Sam fucked off to god knows where and without the fight to distract him, Dean has nothing left to focus on but his burgeoning sobriety, and persistent dreams of hell.

Set in the arid low-lands of the river valley, surrounded by apple orchards and twisting irrigation canals, Dean becomes convinced he can see a great beast stalking through the hills bordering the town. The same beast he has dreamt of since returning from hell, the same one he can sometimes feel beside him when he knows that he’s alone.

Walking the line between grief and reality, isolation and community, Dean has to pull together what's real and what isn't as he adjust to his disability, and finds faith that he is capable of building lasting relationships and creating a life for himself worth loving.

Also eventually Cas shows up, and they save the world.

He’s still debating just getting the fuck out of there when a women at the head of the long table clears her throat, and starts to read from a laminated print out. The edges of Dean’s vision blur out a little. He has to leave. He has to- the woman is still reading. Dean tunes back in in time to hear, “-At some of these we balked. We thought that we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not."  Here, the speaker pauses, and Dean feels like she looks right at him. But she doesn't. She just gives the laminated sheet a little shake, clears her throat and continues, "With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start.” And no one could ever call him a coward. So he stays.

Honestly the most plot I've ever worked with (and very deeply personal) so this one could be a while. @aneasiersofterway for inspo, vibes, and bonus content.

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Asylum | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (Eventual)

Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, mentions of parental abuse (take care of yourselves my lovebugs)

Word Count: 5444

Mobile Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

Supernatural Series Rewrite Playlist

You and the boys had bonded quite a lot since Kansas. You and Sam had always been close; bonding over random pop culture debates, philosophical musings, and your interest in the pursuit of knowledge. It was your relationship with Dean that was really starting to confuse you.

You knew you were attracted to him; that much you had never denied. But it was the way your heart seemed to tug toward him in your chest when you two made your pinky promise next to his car that confused the hell out of you. You and Dean were friends, and that was truly all you needed from him. Or, at least, that was what you told yourself.

Sam was on the phone with one of his father’s friends named Caleb. The boys were growing frustrated at their inability to find him. Every lead they followed was a dead end. 

“You know, maybe we should call the Feds. File a missing person’s,” Sam suggested.

“We've talked about this. Dad'd be pissed if we put the Feds on his tail,” Dean rebutted.

Sam shook his head. “I don't care anymore.”

Dean’s cell phone rang on the bed next to you. You got up to bring it over to him. 

“After all that happened back in Kansas, I mean, he should've been there, Dean. You said so yourself. You tried to call him and… nothing. You know, he could be dead for all we know.”

Dean took the phone from you. “Don't say that! He's not dead! He's – he's…”

“He's what? He's hiding? He's busy?” Sam argued.

Dean went to respond, but the message on his cell phone caught his attention. “Huh. I don't believe it.”

“What?” you asked, peering over his shoulder.

“It's, uh, it's a text message. It's coordinates.” Dean immediately opened his laptop and began clacking away.

“You think Dad was texting us?” Sam asked.

“He's given us coordinates before,” Dean said.

“The man can barely work a toaster, Dean.”

“Sam, it's good news! It means he's okay, or alive at least.”

“Well, was there a number on the caller ID?”

“Nah, it said 'unknown,’ “ Dean replied.

“Well, where do the coordinates point?”

“That's the interesting part. Rockford, Illinois.”

“Interesting how?” you asked him.

“I checked the local Rockford paper. Take a look at this.” He handed the paper to you. “This cop, Walter Kelly, comes home from his shift, shoots his wife, then puts the gun in his mouth, blows his brains out. And earlier that night, Kelly and his partner responded to a call at the Roosevelt Asylum.”

“Okay, I'm not following. What has this have to do with us?” Sam questioned.

“Dad earmarked the same asylum in the journal. Let’s see…” Dean flipped to the page. “Here. Seven unconfirmed sightings, two deaths; till last week at least. I think this is where he wants us to go.”

Sam snorted. “This is a job. Dad wants us to work a job.”

“Well, maybe we'll meet up with him? Maybe he's there?”

“Maybe he's not? I mean, he could be sending us there, by ourselves, to hunt this thing.”

“Who cares! If he wants us there, it's good enough for me!”

“Guys—” Their bickering had gotten more frequent in days of late, and it was beginning to bug the shit out of you.

“This doesn't strike you as weird? The texting? The coordinates?” Sam pressed.

“Sam! Dad's tellin' us to go somewhere, we're goin'.”

Sam made a bitchface at his brother and sighed.

***

Your destination was a bar in Rockford you had stalked the cop you knew was the partner of the deceased. You found him sitting at the bar, nursing a beer. You monitored the scene from a few tables behind. Dean was to meet you there after his interaction with the cop.

“You're Daniel Gunderson. You're a cop, right?” he asked.

The cop nodded.

“Huh. I'm uh, Nigel Tufnel, The Chicago Tribune. Mind if I ask you a couple of questions, about your partner?” he asked enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I do. I'm just tryin' to have a beer here.”

“That's okay, I swear it won't take that long. I just want to get the story in your words,” Dean continued.

The cop was not amused. “A week ago, my partner was sitting in that chair. Now he's dead. You gonna ambush me here?”

“Sorry. But I need to know what happened.”

Sam came up and pushed Dean aside roughly. “Hey buddy, why don't you leave the poor guy alone! The man's an officer! Why dontcha show a little respect!”

He was calling an unnecessary amount of attention to himself that amused you slightly. Dean paused, glaring before walking over to you.

“Spinal Tap?” you questioned, laughing, referencing his fake name. “Seriously?” The two of you began walking out of the bar over to the Impala. 

“What? It’s a classic!”

“I’m not arguing that,” you said. “But what are the chances he knew your reference?” You sat on the hood next to Dean.

“Oh, come on, we’re probably the only two people in Rockford who even know what Spinal Tap is,” he remarked.

A moment of silence passed between the two of you. 

“How’s your neck healing?” Dean asked.

You turned your neck up to him. There was still quite a bit of bruising from the way you were strangled back in Kansas. He sucked in air through his teeth. “That’s gotta hurt, huh?” 

“Meh, a bit,” you answered. “I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”

He rolled his eyes at you. “Are we ever gonna talk about Kansas?”

“Hmm… I did pinky-promise,” you jested. 

“That you did.” He looked at you expectantly.

You sighed. “My dad was uh, a bit of an asshole. The man’s dead and I still can’t decide if I love or hate him. He was mean. And that’s putting it mildly. For instance, like, one time, I missed a shot on a hunt, and he beat me til I was black and blue later that night. Said it was gonna make me sharper, and he’d rather me hate him than fuck up again like that on a hunt. I was twelve.”

“Wow,” Dean responded quietly. “How young were you when he started taking you on hunts?”

“Ten.”

“Holy crap. Could you even hold a gun at that age?’

“Please, I’ve been able to hold a gun since I was four. He said I needed a dose of reality if I wanted to complain so much about being in the motel room with my brother.”

He nodded. “How much younger was your brother?”

“Two years.” You smiled at the memory of him, but your smile quickly faded. “I, uh, took beatings for him a lot.”

Dean nodded again. He paused for a moment. “I’m sorry.”

You shrugged and sighed. “It’s over now.”

“Yeah, but I know it still hurts.”

You don’t know what made you do it, but you leaned your head on his shoulder. He tensed under you briefly, but let you keep your head there. 

You hadn’t noticed Sam walked out of the bar and was approaching the two of you. “You two look cozy.”

You jerked away from Dean. 

“Bite me,” the older Winchester answered. "Shoved me kinda hard in there, buddy boy.”

“I had to sell it, didn't I? It's method acting,” Sam quipped.

Dean looked confused.

“Never mind.”

“What'd you find out from Gunderson?” you asked.

“So, Walter Kelly was a good cop. Head of his class, even-keeled, he had a bright future ahead of him.”

“What about at home?”

“He and his wife had a few fights, like everybody, but he was mostly smooth sailing. They were even talking about having kids.”

“Alright, so either Kelly had some deep-seated crazy waiting to bust out, or something else did it to him,” Dean nodded. “What'd Gunderson tell you about the asylum?”

“A lot.” Sam filled you in on the local legends and experiences teens had in the place. Kids frequently dared each other to spend the night because it was said everyone who stayed all night went crazy. 

You and the boys arrived at the asylum a little while later. The interior of the building was gray and gloomy. Metal carts were laying on their sides, vials spilled all over the ground, and you were sure you would find needles sticking out of the soles of your boots by the end of the endeavor. Dust covered every surface, flaring up your allergy, and every few minutes you were sneezing. 

“So apparently the cops chased the kids here… into the south wing,” Sam described, gesturing to the sign above the door.

“South wing, huh? Wait a second…” He pulled out his dad’s journal. “1972. Three kids broke into the south wing, only one survived. Way he tells it, one of his friends went nuts and started lighting up the place.”

“So whatever's going on, the south wing is the heart of it,” you continued.

“But if the kids are spelunking the asylum, why aren't there a ton more deaths?” Dean questioned.

You noticed a broken chain on one of the doors. “Looks like the doors are usually chained. Could've been chained up for years. Keep people out or keep something in.”

Sam slowly pushed the door open, and the three of you began heading down the hallway. 

“Let me know if you see any dead people, Haley Joel,” Dean remarked at his brother. He was passing his EMF meter over various surfaces in the hallway.

“Dude, enough,” Sam groaned.

“I'm serious. You gotta be careful, all right? Ghosts are attracted to that whole ESP thing you got going on.”

“I told you, it's not ESP! I just have strange vibes sometimes. Weird dreams.”

“And that’s not ESP?” you quipped. 

Sam made a face at you. “Okay, maybe it is, but—”

You snickered.

“Not funny, (Y/N/N).” He playfully shoved your shoulder. “You get any reading on that thing or not?”

Dean shook his head. “Nope. Of course, it doesn't mean no one's home.”

“Spirits can appear during certain hours of the day.”

“Yeah, the freaks come out at night.”

“Hey, Sam, who do you think is the hotter psychic: Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you?” Dean deadpanned.

You and Dean laughed, and Sam shoved the both of you. The three of you entered another room. You looked around, a sinking feeling hitting your stomach.

“Man. Electro-shock. Lobotomies. They did some twisted stuff to these people,” you shook your head.

“Kinda like my man Jack in Cuckoo's Nest.” Dean made crazy eyes and grinned at you and Sam.

Sam ignored him and his smile dropped. 

“So. Whaddaya think? Ghosts possessing people?” Dean questioned.

“Maybe. Or maybe it's more like Amityville, or the Smurl hunting,” Sam suggested.

“Spirits driving them insane. Kinda like my man Jack in The Shining.” Dean grinned again.

“You are such a nerd,” you mumbled.

“Hey, don’t talk about Sam like that,” Dean gibed back, even though he knew you were talking about him.

“Dean. When are we going to talk about it?” Sam asked his brother.

“Talk about what?”

“About the fact Dad's not here.”

Dean clicked his tongue. “Oh. I see. How ’bout… never.”

“I'm being serious, man. He sent us here.”

“So am I, Sam. Look, he sent us here, he obviously wants us here,” said Dean gruffly. “We'll pick up the search later.”

“It doesn't matter what he wants.”

“See. That attitude? Right there? That is why I always get the extra cookie.”

You scoffed. “C’mon, guys, cut it out.”

Sam ignored you. “Dad could be in trouble; we should be looking for him. We deserve some answers, Dean. I mean, this is our family we're talking about.”

“I understand that, Sam, but he's given us an order.”

You loved Sam, but you were on Dean’s side. Your father’s training probably programmed you that way.

“So, what, we gotta always follow Dad's orders?” Sam bit back.

“Of course we do.”

Sam huffed frustratedly. Dean stared back and then turned away, ending the conversation.

You started poking around the room a bit more. You picked up a dusty sign off the floor and sneezed again. “ 'Sanford Ellicott'... You know what we gotta do. We gotta find out more about the south wing. See if something happened here.” You put the sign back down and walked away from the boys. 

***

You and Dean dropped Sam off at a therapy session with Sanford Ellicott’s son, James Ellicott. You figured it was the best way to get information from someone close to the situation. In the meantime, you and Dean spent some time hanging out in the Impala. 

Conversation between the two of you never felt forced. You still enjoyed pushing each other’s buttons, but you genuinely got along very well.

“Okay, so, I told you about my fucked up family, you need to talk about yours,” you told Dean. 

He scoffed and gave you a bitchface. “Says who?”

“Says me. Now, spill.”

Dean seemed uncomfortable.

You took the hint. “Okay, if you don’t wanna talk about it now, will you tell me at some point?”

He nodded and stuck out his pinky with a smirk. “Promise.”

A smile spread across your face and you linked his finger with yours. “Okay, then. Different question. What’s your favorite color?”

He scoffed lightheartedly. “What?”

“I’m serious! What’s your favorite color? Mine’s (Y/F/C).”

“Blue,” he answered. 

“Like, baby blue or navy blue?”

“Definitely closer to navy,” he told you. He was eyeing you strangely again.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” you asked him.

“You… confuse me.”

“Oh?” You raised a brow. “Why?”

He shook his head. The one thing you hated about Dean was his inability to talk about quite literally any of his feelings. 

“Will you ever tell me why?” you asked.

He nodded and stuck out his pinky again. You smiled warmly and took it.

***

“He’s been in there for-fucking-ever,” you groaned, pushing yourself off the wall of the building. 

As if on cue, Sam walked out at that moment. 

“Dude! What the hell were you talking about?” you asked as you headed back to the car with the brothers. 

“Just the hospital, you know,” Sam responded.

“And...?” Dean pushed.

“And the south wing? It's where the housed the really hard cases. The psychotics, the criminally insane.”

“Sounds cozy.”

“Yeah. And one night in '64, they rioted. Attacked staff. Attacked each other.”

“So the patients took over the asylum?” you questioned.

“Apparently,” Sam answered.

“Any deaths?”

“Some patients, some staff. I guess it was pretty gory. Some of the bodies were never even recovered, including our chief of staff, Ellicott.”

“Awesome. What do you mean ‘never recovered’?”

“Cops scoured every inch of the place but I guess the patients must've...stuffed the bodies somewhere hidden.”

“That's grim,” the older brother commented.

“Yeah. So, they transferred all the remaining patients and closed the hospital down,” Sam explained.

“So, to sum it up, we've got a bunch of violent deaths and a bunch of unrecovered bodies.”

“And a bunch of angry spirits.”

Dean chuckled humorlessly. “Good times. Let's check out the hospital tonight.”

***

You held a shotgun full of rock salt round, Sam a video camera and flashlight, and Dean his EMF meter.

“Getting readings?” Sam asked as you walked down the labyrinth of hallways in the asylum.

“Yeah, big time,” his brother responded.

“This place is orbing like crazy.”

“All of these unrecovered bodies are probably causing it,” you added.

“We gotta find ’em and burn ’em. Just be careful though. The only thing that makes me more nervous than a pissed off spirit... is the pissed off spirit of a psycho killer.” Dean’s unwavering confidence cracked a little in a rare moment of vulnerability.

The three of you continued searching. You and Sam split off to one room and Dean took another. You looked around the debris scattered through the room to try and find some of the bodies.

Sam’s yelp caused you to wheel around “(Y/N), shotgun!” he called to you

You came up behind him. “Sam, drop!”

He obeyed and you shot the apparition in front of him square in the face.

Dean came running into the room. “What happened?”

“That was weird.” Sam was breathless when he got up from the ground. 

You furrowed your eyebrows at him as the three of you made your way out of the room. “Why?”

“She didn't attack me,” the younger brother replied.

“Looked pretty aggro from where I was standing,” you retorted.

“She didn't hurt me. She didn't even try! So if she didn't wanna hurt me then what did she want?”

You shook your head and shrugged. You and the brothers jerked in the direction of a sound coming from a room you were passing. You raised your shotgun, and your eyes flicked to Sam’s. He nodded at you to go into the room first. You approached a ragged metal bed that had been turned on its side in the corner of the room. You could see something hiding behind it. 

Sam tipped the bed over and you aimed the shotgun at the thing behind it. However, the girl hiding behind it screeched and jerked further back into the corner.

“It's alright,” Dean told her, “we're not going to hurt you. It's okay. What's your name?”

“Katherine. Kat.”

“Okay. I'm Dean, this is Sam and (Y/N).”

“What are you doing here!?” you asked her.

“Um, my boyfriend, Gavin,” she replied shakily.

“Is he here?” Dean questioned.

Kat nodded. “Somewhere. He thought it would be fun, try and see some ghosts. I thought it was all just… you know. Pretend. I've seen things. I heard Gavin scream and…” she trailed off, tears welling in her eyes.

“Alright. Kat? Come on. Sam's gonna get you out of here and then we're gonna find your boyfriend.” Dean gestured between the two of you.

“No! No,” she protested. “I'm not going to leave without Gavin. I'm coming with you.”

“It's no joke around here, okay. It's dangerous,” Dean responded.

“That's why I gotta find him.”

You looked over at Sam, who shrugged.

“Alright, I guess we gonna split up then. Let's go,” Dean commanded your group. Kat went with Dean and you headed off with Sam. You kept your shotgun raised just behind Sam, tension gripping your chest.

“Gavin.... Gavin?” Sam called.

A few minutes of walking later, you noticed a figure on the ground unconscious. Sam crouched to wake the boy up, and you lowered your gun. 

Gavin awoke and freaked out, pushing himself away from you and Sam.

You were consistently impressed by Sam’s ability to calm others down. “Hey, Gavin. It's okay, We’re here to help.”

Gavin calmed down considerably, but still sounded slightly panicked. “Who are you?”

“My name is Sam, this is (Y/N). Uh, we found your girlfriend.”

“Kat?” Gavin got up from the floor. “Is she alright?”

“Yeah. She's worried about you. Are you okay?” you asked.

“I was running. I think I fell.”

“Running from… what?” you questioned.

“There was...there was this girl. Her face. It was all messed up,” he explained.

“Okay listen, did this girl... did she try and hurt you?” Sam asked.

Gavin looked back at Sam and shook his head. “What? No, she... uh…”

“She what?”

“She kissed me.” Gavin’s cheeks flared in embarrassment.

Sam seemed to feel uncomfortable, too. “Uh, um, but- but she didn't hurt you, physically?”

His eyes widened. “Dude! She kissed me. I'm scarred for life!” 

“Well, trust me, it could have been a lot worse,” you snickered. “Do you remember anything else?”

“She uh, actually, she tried to whisper something in my ear.”

“What?”

Gavin shook his head. “I don't know. I ran like hell.”

You scrubbed a hand over your eyes. “Okay, let’s go.”

The three of you went walking on, only to hear a female scream and Dean calling Kat’s name. The three of you broke off running toward the sound. 

“What's going on?” you asked Dean as you approached him. He was trying to jimmy open a heavy metal door with a pipe.

“She's inside with one of them,” the older Winchester explained.

“Help me!” Kat screamed from the inside.

“Kat!” her boyfriend called back.

“Get me outta here!”

Sam pushed Gavin back to get against the door. “Kat, it's not going to hurt you. Listen to me. You've got to face it. You've got to calm down.”

You and Dean turned to Sam. “She's gotta what?!” you exclaimed in unison.

“These spirits, they're not trying to hurt us, they're trying to communicate. You gotta face it. You gotta listen to it,” Sam urged.

“You face it!” Kat protested.

“No! It's the only way to get out of there.”

“No!” she cried.

“Look at it, come on. You can do it,” Sam told her.

And then, quiet. There was nothing for a few minutes.

“Kat?” Gavin called through the door.

You and the brothers backed away from it. “Man, I hope you're right about this,” Dean told his brother.

“Yeah, me too.”

At that moment, the lock clicked and the door slowly opened. Kat stood in the doorway, shock overcoming her face. 

“Oh, Kat.” Gavin hugged his girlfriend.

You headed into the room Kat had been locked in. Nothing. You came back out and shook your head at the brothers.

“One thirty-seven,” Kat muttered.

Dean quirked a brow. “Sorry?”

“It whispered in my ear. One thirty-seven.”

“Room number,” you and the boys muttered in sync.

The three of you crouched along the wall and led the teenagers back to the exit. Sam was to take them out of the asylum while you and Dean went to investigate room 137.

You sneezed again for the umpteenth time. Your eyes were itching you, too.

“Are you allergic to me or something?” Dean asked you as you moved down the hall toward room 137.

You giggled. “No. Dust.”

“Aw, sweetheart—” he mocked, “—don’t worry, I’ll protect you from the dust bunnies.”

You rubbed your nose and sniffed. “I’m gonna kill you.” You pushed against the door of room 137, only to meet major resistance. You figured there was a bunch of furniture blocking it.

“Move, move,” Dean told you. Of course, he shoved the door open with ease. He looked at you smugly.

“Whatever,” you deadpanned, pushing past him into the room. You moved your flashlight around the dark room, finding tons of papers scattered over the floor. Filing cabinets were laying on their sides and a desk was completely broken in half. You sifted through folders in one of the only upright file cabinets. 

Dean was behind you, and you could hear wood creaking. He grunted. You turned to see him trying to pry a wood panel off the wall.

“Need help, princess?” you asked.

“No,” he grunted once more, finally jerking the panel off. Inside was a satchel that was relatively dust free. “This is why I get paid the big bucks.”

You rolled your eyes at him. 

The two of you pulled up chairs next to one another and began flipping through the journal inside the satchel. There were mad scribblings and hand-drawn pictures of the strangest medical instruments.

“Well, all work and no play makes Dr. Ellicott a very dull boy,” Dean remarked.

“This is insane,” you muttered, disgust overtaking you as you read the doctor’s accounts of what he had done to his patients. 

“Yeah, I want this fucker nice and crispy,” Dean said. “C’mon.” 

He led you back to the exit of the asylum, and Dean jerked back into you suddenly at the sound of a shotgun. 

“Damn it, damn it, don't shoot! It's us!” Dean called, trying to catch his breath.

You heard Kat from around the corner next. “Sorry! Sorry.”

“Son of a…” Dean huffed out a quick breath. He led you around the corner. “What are you still doing here?! Where's Sam?”

“He went to the basement. You called him,” Gavin said, looking at Dean dumbfounded.

“We didn’t call anybody,” you returned.

“His cell phone rang. He said it was Dean.” Kat was confused, too.

You and Dean came to the realization of what happened. 

“Fuck,” you muttered. “Basement, huh?”

Dean found Sam’s discarded duffel bag and grabbed an extra handgun. He handed it to you and grabbed a shotgun for himself. “Alright. Watch yourselves. And watch out for me!”

***

You and Dean had your guards up immediately upon entering the basement. The two of you called out to Sam, only to get no response. When you turned around, however, Sam was right in front of you. “Holy shit, dude!” you lowered your handgun. “I almost shot you.”

“Man, answer me when I'm calling you! You alright?” Dean said.

Sam sounded different to you. “Yeah. I'm fine.”

You eyed him strangely. 

“You know it wasn't me who called your cell, right?” his older brother told him.

“Yeah, I know. I think something lured me down here.”

“I think I know who. Dr. Ellicott. That's what the spirits have been trying to tell us. You haven't seen him, have you?” 

Sam shook his head. “No. How do you know it was him?”

“’Cause we found his log book. Apparently he was experimenting on his patients, awful stuff. Makes lobotomies look like a couple of aspirin,” Dean retorted.

Sam’s face was set in hard lines. He was scaring you, if you were honest. “But it was the patients who rioted.”

“Yeah. They were rioting against Dr. Ellicott. Dr. Feelgood was working on some sort of, like, extreme rage therapy. He thought that if he could get his patients to vent their anger then they would be cured of it. Instead it only made them worse and worse and angrier and angrier. So I'm thinking, what if his spirit is doing the same thing? To the cop? To the kids in the seventies, making them so angry they become homicidal,“ Dean went on. “Come on, we gotta find his bones and torch ’em.”

You continued to eye Sam, not quite sure what was going on with him. 

“How? The police never found his body.” Sam’s movements were almost robotic.

“The log book said he had some sort of hidden procedure room down here somewhere where he'd work on his patients. So, if I was a patient I'd drag his ass down here, do a little work on it myself.”

“I don't know, it sounds kinda…”

“Crazy?”

Sam nodded.

Dean motioned for his brother to follow him into the next room. You continued to watch Sam carefully, and the sly look he gave his brother did not escape you.

“I told you I looked everywhere. I didn't find a hidden room,” Sam said.

“Well, that's why they call it hidden.”

You shushed the boys. “You hear that?” You crouched to the ground and Dean followed suit. 

Sam was still standing behind him. “What?”

“There's a door here.” Dean felt along the wall until he found it.

“Dean.” You heard a gun click behind you. “Step back from the door.”

You and Dean rose from the ground with your hands raised. Blood was trickling down Sam’s face from his nose. 

“Sam, put the gun down,” Dean pleaded quietly.

Sam’s voice was hard. “Is that an order?”

Dean shook his head. “Nah, it's more of a friendly request.”

Sam pointed the gun straight at Dean’s chest. “ ’Cause I'm getting pretty tired of taking your orders.”

“Sam, stop it,” you told him. “I fucking knew it. Ellicott did something to you.”

“(Y/N), for once in your life, just shut your mouth.”

You knew it wasn’t Sam talking and you tried not to take offense.

“What are you gonna do, Sam? Gun's filled with rock salt. It's not gonna kill me,” Dean bit back.

Sam shot Dean square in the chest. The shot threw him backward through the hidden door. “No. But it will hurt like hell.”

“Dean!” you cried, rushing to his aid. 

“Get back, (Y/N),” Sam demanded. 

“What the fuck, Sam? Cut it out!”

Dean grabbed your arm, doing his best to silence you and steady himself. “We gotta burn Ellicott's bones and all this will be over, and you'll be back to normal.”

“I am normal. I'm just telling the truth for the first time. I mean, why are we even here? ’Cause you're following Dad's orders like a good little soldier? Because you always do what he says without question? Are you that desperate for his approval?” the younger brother spat.

“This isn't you talking, Sam,” Dean groaned, head lolling back against the floor.

Sam tapped the gun to the side of his head. “That's the difference between you and me. I have a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic, like you.”

“So what are you gonna do, huh? Are you gonna kill me? Then (Y/N)?”

Sam laughed bitterly. “You know what, I am sick of doing what you tell me to do. We're no closer to finding Dad today than we were six months ago.”

“Well, then here. Let me make it easier for you." He held his treasured handgun out to Sam.

“Dean, no,” you pleaded, grabbing his wrist. The look he gave you told you to trust him. “Come on. Take it. Real bullets are gonna work a hell of a lot better than rock salt.”

Sam hesitated.

“Take it!” Dean commanded.

He did, and pointed the gun straight at Dean’s face. 

Dean laughed humorlessly. “You hate me that much? You think you could kill your own brother? Then go ahead. Pull the trigger. Do it!” 

Sam pulled the trigger. The gun clicked, but no bullet left it. He tried once again. You took the opportunity to kick Sam square in the stomach, knocking him to the floor and winding him. 

Dean scrambled to his feet. “Man, I'm not going to give you a loaded pistol!”

Sam stared up at him with venomous disdain, only to receive a wicked right cross from Dean. Sam was knocked out cold.

“Sorry, Sammy.” Dean patted his brother’s head on the ground.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

He nodded. “Let’s just get this over with.”

The two of you found the rotting corpse of Dr. Ellicott behind a cupboard door. The smell nearly knocked you out. “Holy hell.”

Dean covered his nose with the back of his hand. “Oh, that's just gross.”

You pinched your nose with one hand and salted the body while Dean covered it in kerosene. “Soak it up,” he told the doctor. The two of you went to stand, only to be knocked to the floor by a gurney flying across the room.

You looked up to see the ghost of Dr. Ellicott right above you. “Don’t be afraid.” The doctor grabbed your face. “I'm going to help you. I'm going to make you all better.” His fingertips felt like they were burning holes into your skull.

You wailed in agony. And suddenly, he backed away from you. You dropped to the ground and looked up to see the doctor turning black and falling to the floor in front of you, crumbling on impact. 

You turned your head toward Dean. “Thanks.” You knew he had lit the corpse on fire while the doctor was distracted with you.

“Don’t mention it.”

You turned to the sound of Sam moaning from a distance away.

“You're not going to try and kill us, are ya?” Dean asked him.

Sam flexed his jaw painfully. “No.”

“Good. Because that would be awkward.”

After the three of you bid goodbye to Gavin and Kat, you were on the road again.

“Hey, Dean?” Sam said.

His brother turned to face him.

“I'm sorry, man. I said some awful things back there.”

Dean’s tone was guarded. “You remember all that?”

“Yeah. It's like I couldn't control it. But I didn't mean it, any of it,” Sam told him. 

The older brother didn’t sound convinced. “You didn't, huh?”

“Dean—” you started.

Sam cut you off. “No, of course not! Do we need to talk about this?”

Dean turned his attention back to the road. “No. I'm not really in the sharing and caring kinda mood. I just wanna get some sleep.”

“Ditto,” you mumbled, stretching out over the backseat. 

Soon enough, you and the boys arrived back in your respective motel rooms. You’d decided to get some shut-eye before heading out to your next adventure. You awoke hours later to the sound of your cell phone ringing. You picked it up, not recognizing the number at all. 

You shot straight up at the sound of the man’s introduction. “John?!”

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @iloveshawn @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @davina-clairee @chervbs @thepocketverse @simpingdeadcharacters @elqsiian @stillhere197 @stephshaww @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @here-for-the-extravaganza @seninjakitey

Quite a few tags were broken; sorry lovebugs! :(

[illumose]

No way out - chapter two

⋆⭒˚.⋆ PAIRINGS : female reader x dean winchester • female reader x platonic! sam winchester

⋆⭒˚.⋆ SUMMARY OF THE SERIES / masterlist of the series

She’s been stuck in this town for a year. A whole year of creatures roaming at night in search of a human stupid enough to go out. There was no way out. All the inhabitants tried to flee at some point but the road always drew them back to the dinner. Yet, she’s still holding onto the hope of getting out and the two men who arrived in a 1967 Impala might be her only chance.

⋆⭒˚.⋆ SUMMARY OF THE CHAPTER

The first night in town is always rough but the newbies seem more intrigued than scared. She wonders whether it is the first time they come across monsters.

⋆⭒˚.⋆ WARNINGS .ᐟ.ᐟ : mentions of madness?

author's note : you can be added if you want to! Also, it's a slow chapter because I need to set up the universe before the action gets more intense.

wordcount: 1.1K

CHAPTER TWO: first night, first doubts

Every night, she has a routine. She never goes against it. First, she locks all the doors and windows. Then, she places the talisman above the door. This way, she knows that they cannot come in. Next, she covers up all the windows with old sheets found in the basement. It's not a matter of protection but of sanity. Whenever she sees one of them, she internally freaks out. They look disturbingly too human for her liking. That's also how they trap people. Sometimes, they put on a show, acting hurt or needing companionship. Some will be insensitive to this, others will fall for it.

Once everything task is completed, she makes herself a cup of hot cocoa and goes upstairs to her bedroom where she'll spend an hour reading a thriller novel. Sleep does not come easy. She always fears one will be smart enough to find a way in. At around midnight, she'll fall asleep but never fully. Her mind enters a nightmarish world where all her dearest friends die, one by one. 

This time, she's got two disruptive elements to her routine. Dean camps out in the living room, his eyes glancing at the darkness outside and the weird creatures roaming. As for Sam, he's eager to help and follows her around. She already likes him. 

"How does the talisman work?" asks Sam, an eyebrow raised. His fingers barely touch it, as if he were afraid to disarm its magical proprieties. 

Her eyes linger on the symbols engraved on the rock. She knows their strokes by heart. She remembers a bold woman, called Sadie. She had strongly believed that carving the symbols on her body would suffice to keep the creatures away from her as she tried to escape from the forest. The next day, Jade and Boyd had found her body, or whatever was left of it, in the pasture. 

"No one truly knows. It needs to be hanged above the front door to be effective. Boyd once survived in a car with this. Somehow, if all the doors and windows are closed, they cannot come in. That's my only source of comfort if you wanna know. Without this talisman, we'd all be dead by now."

She has no true explanation to give. It's all a mystery, so far. No one knows anything. They come up with theories but there's never an answer. 

Dean's head bends a little. He's looking directly at the red-headed man. 

"Don't mind this one, he's the biggest piece of shit I've ever encountered," she says.

He lets out a little laugh. "Given his weird-ass smile, I get it. He seems pretty curious to see newcomers, though."

She sighs, "he probably thinks that new food has arrived." The red-head creature is a constant in her nightmares. He's the one slashing Kenny's throat and ripping Jade's heart from his ribcage. 

"He's not the weirdest thing I've seen." Dean shuts the blinds abruptly, his head shaking. 

She wonders what he meant by that. They don't seem scared, and it's practically impossible to be calm on the first night. She's never seen newcomers accept the situation with this much tranquility and peace of mind. They should be pacing around the house, shoulders trembling and tears dripping down. 

"How about a card game? To take our minds off all of this," suggests Sam. He takes out a small pack of cards from his pocket. 

She nods. They sit around the kitchen table. President is the game she used to play with her grandpa. It reminds her of his house, a small trailer parked in a pasture. Real estate developers tried many times to buy out this plot of land, yet her grandpa never budged. It was his land. She remembers the crickets and the humming of the birds every morning. Here, they don't have this. Animals stay silent. She barely sees birds. 

Dean wins the first round. He's quite good at this game, and he becomes incredibly cocky. "Perhaps we should stop here, for your own sake, Sam."

"Says the man who cried when his favorite singer," mocks the brunette. "I'd say your luck is running out". 

It's been so long since she felt a sense of normalcy. Seeing the two brothers argue and snicker at each other's answers brings warmth to this house that often feels lifeless. 

"I've got a question," says the blond out of the blue. "Where do they go when the sun sets?"

She bites her lip. Boyd's goal was to explore the forest and find their hideout. It's never been done so far because of the multiple disruptions: newcomers, deaths, fights between drunkards at Jesse's bar.

"Victor, one of the oldest inhabitants, thinks that they live in caves deep under the ground. It does make sense."

"Like vampires," he laughs a little bit too heartily. 

"If only," she sighs. Vampires bite you in the neck. They don't tear your limbs and rip out organs. 

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌ Breakfast at the diner equals homemade pancakes and generous drizzles of maple syrup. Dean's eyes almost came out when he saw the stack of pancakes. He's now indulging in the sweetness of blueberries grown by his roommate. 

"It's pretty insane that fruits can grow here, one could think that the earth was cursed, too," says Sam. 

"Gardening's our only activity. We plant new seeds every week to ensure we get food all year round. Donna's always improving the communal garden up at the Colony house." 

Jade comes by the table, his hands full with his notebook where he scribbles the same symbol over and over. He's gone a little mad, recently. He sees things. He hears things. 

"We need you to…." he sizes up the newcomers, not knowing whether to trust them or not. "To come after breakfast. Boyd's got an idea but Kenny's against it. They want a fresh set of eyes." 

"I'll be there in a minute. You look terrible, though. Is Kenny keeping you up all night?" She giggles. Jade rolls his eyes but a small grin replaces his constant frown. 

"Living with him is torture enough," he counters, stealing a pancake from her plate.

Dean stares at the music box on the table, and then at Jade's silhouette walking down the street. 

"Are they all… disturbed like this?" 

"This town messes with your mind. I can't count the number of people who've gone mad. Hell, I almost did."

"I didn't peg you for the weak type." Coming from Dean, this is probably a sort of twisted praise. 

She stands up and straightens her skirt. She's not weak. None of them are. It's this town. It changes you. It makes you vulnerable. "We're not alone and that's our strength." 

taglist: @callsign-ember

[violetpurpleviolet]

Supernatural , Season 6 , Episode 10

Caged Heart

hihihihi excited to watch

Oooh, Crowley torturing Crowley. It's the alpha shapeshifter? Oh, he's torturing the kids? Oh no :(

Meg? Does she never die?? Seriously, they need to kill her instead of exorcising her every time.

I think Cas secretly wanted a reprieve, even if Sam did blackmail him. I feel as though he wanted a break from the war? Spend some time, like old times, with the brothers? Because of simple blackmail from Sam when he doesn't even know how to kill him. I don't believe it.

"Its very complex"

"Mhmm"

"If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear?"

"Perhaps she's done something wrong."

"Youre watching porn. Why?"

"Well, it was there."

"You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes, and you don't talk about it."

The way Cas slowly looks down is killing me.

What? He doesn't think retrieving Sam's soul is wise? Because he wants him to survive? Oh. Tortured soul? Oh no. This is worse.

Dean the hypocrite. He just told Samuel to stop getting back Mary and then now he's saying hell try whatever to get Sam's soul back.

Why aren't they helping the people to get out? Because they're most likely shifters or vampires? But what if they're like that one vampire who drinks only cattle blood, like the Cullens.

What the FUCK? Why are Cas and Meg kissing? lol, she stole the angelic weapon. And Cas just let her take it.

I don't think Crowley would take the risk of locking up Sam and Dean; he would have had them killed immediately, and he wouldn't estimate the boys like that. But okay.

"Im standing in pee" "Consider yourself lucky"

From the guy who was pouting when he lost his shoe. He truly is soulless. ( I miss Sam.)

What the fuck is Sam doing? Did he just bite himself? Where did they take Dean? Oh my god, what is with the random gore here? Ah, vampires, they fed Dean to vampires. Oh, he used his blood to draw a Pentagon, damn smart. Is he so tall he can reach the ceiling, though? Probably, probably.

Whattttt. Is Crowley dead??? Wow.

I was right. He does want to be here. Hehehehehehe yay.

Sam doesn't want his soul. I can get why Sam feels like that, but that's also so dumb?

[wheretosearchforsnow]

Destiel in Season 4 and 5 of Supernatural and Death of God

German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche’s well-known phrase “God is dead,” introducing the idea of the missing God, laid the foundation for one of the most important topics in the 20th century Existentialist Movement. The possibility of God’s non-existence means that everything that is possible to happen can happen, and if everything is allowed, how can man choose? How can man know how to live? If everything is allowed, can we define right from wrong?

Such questions are asked on Supernatural, with the character Castiel first appearing at the end of the first episode in the fourth season, which marked the series’ introduction of Christian mythology as a central them ever since. Castiel, an Angel of the Lord, initially shows complete devotion to God and identifies as servant of heaven:

CASTIEL: We have no choice. DEAN: Of course you have a choice. I mean, come on, what? You’ve never questioned a crap order, huh? What are you both, just a couple of hammers? CASTIEL: Look, even if you can’t understand it, have faith. The plan is just. SAM: How can you even say that? CASTIEL: Because it comes from heaven, that makes it just. - 4.07 It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

This argument on the morality behind the act of “purifying a city” or “taking one thousand two hundred fourteen lives” between Castiel and the Winchesters is not dissimilar with Danish theologian Søren Kierkegaard’s discussion on Abraham's sacrifice of Isaac. When Abraham was told that as a result of God's will that he must sacrifice his son Isaac, he was in a kind of either-or. If the message is genuinely from God, then he must sacrifice Isaac and it is the right thing to do; but if the message is not from God, then he would be committing what would be the very worst possible crime judged on the basis of Abraham's own view of human ethics.

The dichotomy here, between Castiel’s and Dean’s rationales, is that while the former believes there is a God and God and religion (in other words, heaven’s plan for earth) are the most important things, and man must do nothing but obey heaven’s command, the latter insists that there is no God and it is for man to take the total burden of responsibility for the world and for himself upon his own shoulders, with no one to give him any sign.

Though the former seems to suggest a lack of agency or necessity for decision making in moral judgement, as the plot unfolds, we see Castiel demonstrate a sense of uncertainty, the very secret he voices in the conversation with Dean in the episode’s epilogue.

CASTIEL: I’m not a… hammer as you say. I have questions, I have doubts. I don’t know what is right and what is wrong anymore, whether you passed or failed here. But in the coming months you will have more decisions to make. I don’t envy the weight that’s on your shoulders, Dean. I truly don’t. - 4.07 It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

This mirrors Kierkegaard’s Abraham in his questions on God’s will. Indeed, how is one to know whether the command is from God or not? If an angel speaks to him, how does Abraham know it's not a hallucination? And if God himself speaks, how is Abraham, or Castiel, to know whether this is really God or whether the command is their own inward evil wishes? Nobody but Abraham, or Castiel, can decide and they cannot tell within his life whether he has done the right thing or not.

Perhaps it is this introspective nature in Castiel that draws him close to Dean, the human in his charge, and by implication humanity. Dean, a firm non-believer and what many, including himself, perceive to be as farthest from being servant of God as possible, detests the idea of God even in face of angels walking the earth.

DEAN: God? CASTIEL: Yes. DEAN: God. CASTIEL: Yes! He isn't in heaven. He has to be somewhere. DEAN: Try New Mexico. I hear he's on a tortilla. CASTIEL: No, he's not on any flatbread. DEAN: Listen, Chuckles, even if there is a God, he is either dead—and that's the generous theory— CASTIEL: He is out there, Dean. DEAN: —or he's up and kicking and doesn't give a rat's ass about any of us. CASTIEL glares. DEAN: I mean, look around you, man. The world is in the toilet. We are literally at the end of days here, and he's off somewhere drinking booze out of a coconut. All right? - 5.02 Good God, Y'all

Dean has no intention of trying to prove that God does not exist, as one cannot prove a negative, but the very specific objection to the traditional concept of God above parallels with the simple objection in many existentialists work that is based upon the injustice of the universe. Albert Camus has given this same type of criticism in his novel, "The Plague", in which the priest, Padalu, confesses that he is not able to understand how there can be any justification so that even eternal paradise could cancel out the sufferings here on earth of one innocent child. Why, Deans asks, if God is all powerful, does man have to suffer? If God is merciful, then how can he sentence man, any man at all to eternal damnation?

There is an optimistic side to this. As the repetitive occurrence of the term “free will” on this show suggests, if God exists, man is nothing; but if God does not exist, then man is free to choose what he wants to make himself. But for Castiel to arrive at this destination, it first takes him to undergo a two-season long crisis.

ANNA: What do you want from me, Castiel? CASTIEL: I'm considering disobedience. ANNA nods. ANNA: Good. CASTIEL: No, it isn't. For the first time, I feel... ANNA: It gets worse. Choosing your own course of action is confusing, terrifying. ANNA puts her hand on CASTIEL's shoulder. He looks at it; she drops it. ANNA: That's right. You're too good for my help. I'm just trash. A walking blasphemy. ANNA turns to walk away. CASTIEL: Anna. ANNA stops. CASTIEL: I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do. ANNA turns back. ANNA: Like the old days? No. I'm sorry. It's time to think for yourself. - 4.16 On the Head of a Pin

If God isn’t out there, then Castiel has nowhere to turn. This dreadful realization may best be articulated through Hazel Barnes’ analogy that as if one would try to judge a Ford car without any Mr. Ford. So long as there is a Mr. Ford or one of his agents, then one has a model, one has a blueprint and one can say that the car which is coming there off the assembly line is a perfect Ford or an imperfect Ford. But without a plan, one cannot judge a car, and without God, there is no plan for Castiel and there is no final point of reference by which he can judge his values, or right or wrong, or declare that he has lived up to his possibilities or not lived up to his possibilities.

Yet despite “choosing your own course of action” being “confusing, terrifying,” Castiel is not in total despair. Dean, the human equivalent of the burden of a self-creative life, provides reference for Castiel on how to live a life as if there were no God. I have concluded thus that in the context of existentialism Castiel seeks Dean and humanity for answers and view them as his destination.

Note: this article is MOSTLY arguments in Hazel Barnes’ Self Encounter 2: The Far Side of Despair.

[bardicious]

Greatest hits of writing so stupid, I can't count it as canon:

"We opened the gates of hell" They didn't. Not even by mistake.

"Not telling me that you lost your soul. Or how about running around with Samuel for a whole year, letting me think that you were dead while you're doing all kinds of crazy." Soulless!Sam didn't know his soul was gone, also soulless!Sam is not Sam. Truly dumbest line of logic that's repeated, at least twice.

"I know that agreement. I taught you that agreement. That's a non-agreement." Bobby talking about Sam retiring after Dean dies. Like. Bitch, Dean did the same damn thing. I simply cannot believe Bobby would ever say this shit.

"After you looked for me. Did you look for me, Sam?" They just went through a whole convo where Sam finds out Dean was in Purgatory. (I forgot they actually talked about it because of the whiplash of Dean's dumb response) And Dean thinks Sam should have looked for Dean when he was probably in Heaven? Like, wtf.

There's definitely more, but I'm only on s8 right now, and some I've forgotten from the seasons previous. These are the ones that are really really fucking stupid. The first one is such a classic, first instance where they've literally just made up shit. lmao.

[my-supernatural-rewatch]

Episode 8: Bugs

Dean Winchester in the Supernatural episode Bugs

There are not enough words to describe how much I hate watching this episode.

It's actually a lot better an ep than I remembered, but I hate all the...you guessed it...bugs. (Even knowing they're fake. I lost count of how many times I closed my eyes while watching this episode.)

Dean and Sam investigate a new housing development where people are seemingly being killed by...ugh...bugs.

So this episode starts with something I wish we got to actually see more of on the show...Dean walks out of a barroom after making money hustling pool. I would love to have seen more of that. I know we got a few glimpses but I think it's such a good example of Dean honing a craft, becoming expert at it, and using it to survive.

And since Dean did this, of course Sam has to take issue with how he made his money. He complains about Dean making money hustling pool and with credit cars scams and suggests they get 'day jobs.'

Dean weighs the honest ways of money versus the easy and fun ways to make money and his happy with his life choices. "It's no contest."

"Besides, we're good at it. It's what we were raised to do."

Because God forbid John took a day job once in a while.

Sam admittedly has a great reponse, "Yeah, well how we were raised was jacked."

For once, Sammy, you aren't wrong. Dean, of course, disagrees.

"Says you."

Now as time goes on we'll find out Dean pretty much agrees with Sam but right now John looms heavy over Dean and he wouldn't dare say that to his younger brother.

As an aside, the beginning of this episode has Def Leppard's Rock of Ages playing (presumably in the bar?) and it is as of now the second time we hear this song just this season. We know it comes up again in season five and I'm wondering if we hear it again between now and then (I'm not spoiling it for myself by Googling it).

Oh and another aside that's been nagging at me since I am keeping track of when Dean wears John's jacket...where do they keep all their clothes? Granted, there probably aren't a lot of them but we know they aren't in the trunk because of all the weapons and shit they keep there...and we never see anything in the back seat...so where are the clothes? Where does Dean keep all his different jackets?

On the fly, Dean comes up with the idea to stop at an open house and talk to the people in the development to see what they can find out. (This is after they flipped a coin to see who went in the dirt hole the first dead guy was found in and Sam goes in even though Dean said he would. There are bugs. It is gross.)

As they approach the house, we get another glimpse into how the show wants us to think Dean feels about family-type communities such as the one they're currently in.

"Growing up in a place like this would freak me out." "The manicured lawns. 'How was your day, honey?' I'd blow my brains out."

Of course we find out Dean truly wanted some version of this both when he gets captured by the Djinn and when he's with Lisa....

But. I. Digress.

Sam protests by saying there's nothing wrong with normal and Dean responds with "I'd take our family over normal any day."

And I believe him to a certain extent. Dean has to believe that the way they were raised was the right way because if he doesn't what does that say about him...about his father? Dean isn't yet in a place to be thinking about this stuff too deeply.

We then get our first, but not last, instance of someone mistaking Sam and Dean for a couple instead of brothers when the real estate agent and guy who created the development assumes they are together and looking for a home.

Dean is the one who explains that they're brothers while Sam stands around with a goofy smile on his face.

Once they're in the backyard, where people are there mingling for this fancy schmancy open house, another realtor mistakes them fro a gay couple and Dean plays into it but calling Sam "honey" and slapping his ass.

This episode introduced me to steam showers and to this day I so fucking want one. Just like Dean.

Sam ends up bonding with the real estate agent's teenage son and doesn't even use his fake sympathy voice. Good for you, Sam!

Sam witnesses the kid's father being an overbearing jerk to his son and comments to Dean that he reminds him of John...to which Dean takes offense.

"Dad never treated us like that."

Sam points out that John never treated DEAN like that (which we find out to not be true but in fairness to Sam we also found out that for the most part Sam didn't know how badly Dean was treated by John).

"You were perfect. He was all over my case," Sam tells Dean.

"Maybe sometimes he had to raise his voice, but sometimes you were out of line." I don't believe for a minute that Dean really believs this but I do think that Dean has made himself believe this.

Sam gives the teen a bit of advice about his dad by telling him things will get better when he leaves home for college and is out of the house and away from his father and Dean is not impressed.

"What kind of advice is that? Kid should stick with his family."

This breaks my heart. It really does. Because Dean at this point truly thinks that sacrificing your own needs and your own dreams because of loyalty to your family is the right and only path.

The things Dean could have done had John not kept him under his thumb.

Random weirdness in the episode. About halfway through it, with no explanation, no discussion about it at all, Sam is driving the Impala.

Why, Dean, why?

The brothers get a lot of time in this episode to talk.

Here's the entire dialogue between them because it's too good to summarize:

Dean: Yeah, so with that kid back there...why'd you tell him to just ditch his family like that?

Sam: I know what the kid's going through.

Dean: How about telling him to respect his old man, how's that for advice?

Sam: Dean, come on. This isn't about his old man. You think I didn't respect Dad. That's what this is about.

Dean: Just forget it, all right? Sorry I brought it up.

Sam: I respected him. But no matter what I did, it was never good enough.

Dean: So what are you saying'? That Dad was disappointed in you?

Sam: Was? Is. Always has been.

Dean: Why would you think that?

Sam: Because I didn't want to bow hunt or hustle pool - because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which, to our whacked-out family, made me the freak.

Dean: Yeah, you were kind of like the blonde chick in The Munsters.

Sam: Dean, you know what most dads are when their kids score a full ride? Proud. Most dads don't toss their kids out of the house.

Dean: I remember that fight. In fact, I seem to recall a few choice phrases comin' out of your mouth.

Sam: You know, truth is, when we finally do find Dad...I don't know if he's even gonna wanna see me.

Dean: Sam, Dad was never disappointed in you. Never. He was scared.

Sam: What are you talkin' about?

Dean: He was afraid of what could've happened to you if he wasn't around. But even when you two weren't talking...he used to swing by Stanford whenever he could. Keep an eye on you. Make sure you were safe.

Sam: What?

Dean: Yeah.

Sam: Why didn't you tell me any of that?

Dean: Well, it's a two-way street, dude. You could've picked up the phone.

Not to defend John Winchester because fuck him, but I do think there's a lot to what Dean says here. It makes perfect sense that John would be scared about Sam going off on his own when John had basically spent the first 18 years of Sam's life killing and pissing off monsters. Plus with the demon that killed Mary still kicking about, John had no way of knowing how safe Sam would be on his own.

And, John being John, instead of admitting any of that, he turned it into "if you leave don't come back" because...well, because John is a dick.

I also think Sam, who can be a dick in his own right, probably said some things to John that cut too deeply. John is much more to blame for this, always will be, but I have a feeling Dean is not exaggerating when he says Sam had a decent hand in that rift.

Both brothers look more sad than anything else during this exchange and, yes, that's John Winchester's fucking legacy.

Dean and Sam talk to a Native American man about the bugs and find out about the development being built where the American cavalry raped and then massacred an entire village Native Americans (hello Poltergiest) but he won't talk to Dean because he clocks Dean as a liar and Sam as NOT a liar.

Which, sorry dude, but your radar is a little off there. (I mean not completely but still...)

So weird shit continues to happen and the kid calls Sam for help. Sam tells him to basically convince his father about what is happening and Dean takes the phone from him and tells the kid to LIE because "He'll just think you're nuts." if he tells his dad the truth.

Spoiler: Dean is right; Sam is wrong; the kid stupidly listens to Sam.

Dean's admonishment to Sam made me laugh, "Make him listen. What are you thinking?"

Sam really IS out of practice.

Also, I feel like Dean is projecting a little bit. John wouldn't have listened to either of his sons when they were teenagers. (Hell, he doesn't listen to them as adults.)

So there is a lot more gross bug stuff and somehow they get through and now we get our final brother moment after Sam sees the real estate agent and his son in a better place after their shared trauma.

He tells Dean he wants to find John and apologize "For all the things I said to him."

When Dean asks what he's going to apologize for, Sam admits, "He was just doing the best he could."

Which is an excuse I hear from a lot of fans who defend John Winchester as a father. And, I'm sorry, but just doing the best you could is sometimes NOT ENOUGH.

Dean assures Sam they'll find him and Sam can apologize. Then he hits him with a truth bomb:

"And then within five minutes, you guys will be at each other's throats."

Some notes for posterity:

The significant music from this episode comes from Def Leppard: Rock of Ages (second appearance on the show) and Scorpion: No One Like You

The brothers pose as anthropology students when they talk to John Whitetree but he knows immediately Dean is lying. They tell the coworker of the first guy who dies that they are the nephews of the dead guy, and they tell the real estate agent that they're brothers looking for a place for their dad. (And Dean pretends they're a couple in front of the second real estate agent.)

Movie References: Sam and Dean both mention the film Willard, Dean makes two TV references with The Munsters and Timmy from Lassie...there is also the obvious nod to Poltergeist with the entire premise of the episode.

This hunt takes place in Oasis Plains, Oklahoma.

Dean wears John’s jacket in this episode.

Sam drives the Impala briefly and without explanation.

This is the only episode we see Sam and Dean with umbrellas.

Because Eric Kripke is a bit of a weirdo:

"I called [Manners], said 'the boys aren't scared of demons, but they're scared of rain?' From that point forward, a hard rule: no umbrellas. Not easy for Vancouver."

[samwinchesterswifu]

Contagious pt. 2 (Sam Winchester x Read Smut Series)

Requested: No

Season 2 x Episode 1

Warnings: slow burn, slight kink if you squint your eyes.

Song Inspiration: This series is going to have a lot of song inspo, but the main one is "Contagious" by Trapt

MINORS DNI

A/N: I thought this would be a good way to continue the series. I may end up doing little episodes here and there, but honestly not sure how far im gunna take this. Would love some feed back on this!

Word Count: 2500

Summary: All four of them just had gotten into a car wreck, Deans in a medical coma, Sam is all over the place, but finally, he gives her a taste of what she wants.

  It has been an extremely long year. Joining the boys on a man hunt for their father John. Encountering everything they could think of. From almost dying to a wendigo, to playing guess who with a shapeshifter, bugs, a spooky dead doctor, and being reminded why people are truly just terrible. Watching Dean help an old lover, only to watch him make the same mistake Sam made just a few years ago. It was exhausting. On top the constant killing of the bad guys, Sam gave her major whiplash. There’d be moments where he would show his younger self again. Show her signs that maybe he was ready to experience all the love the two of them shared again. Only to be gone in an instant whenever the demon was brought up. Sam wanted revenge. She couldn’t blame him. Hell, if something tried to kill Sam, her dagger would be through the monster’s heart within minutes. She just felt like a second choice. A back up plan. That was until they had gotten into a wreck.

Her and Sam were sitting in the front seat. While the two of them were left uninjured, just a few cuts and bruises. Dean was in a coma. John was recovering in a separate hospital room. Sam was obviously distant. Worried and pacing back and forth between John’s room and Dean’s. She sat and kept John company. To help distract her from the possibility of potentially losing someone she called her family. 

Sam had come to check up on John once again before disappearing down the hall. She was looking down at her hands. Going over the small scar that Sam had accidentally created during their first kiss. His pocketknife had slipped from his pocket where her hands were placed. Making a clean cut through her skin. John cleared his throat, making her look up at him. He smiled.

“I remember that cut,” Johns deep voice rumbled through his empty room.

“Sam was so worried you would get an infection and was so scared of getting in trouble with Hank.” He chuckled lowly.

“That boy is terrified of your father.”

She grinned at his statement. But was quickly replaced.

“He’s still in love with you kid,” sincerity was behind his voice, but it was hard to believe.

“I doubt that John.” She sighed.

“Every time he comes in here, checking on me, he’s also clocking you.” John had a grin on his face that made it seem like he was proud of Sam.

“What do you mean?” She asks.

“He’s checking up on you to make sure you don’t also randomly collapse. He’s worried enough about Dean, but if you went under? He’d freak.”

A small smile tugged at her lips. Hopefully John was right. Suddenly, Sam was at John’s room, tears brimming his eyes and he looked panicked.

“It’s Dean!” He practically yelled.

She quickly got up from her chair and rushed with Sam to Dean’s room where the machine was beeping and the doctors were trying to save him. His heart had stopped, and she could see Sam was close to ripping apart in stress. Finally, the doctors were able to save him. She dared not lay a hand on Sam. After what happened prior, she was afraid.

They both returned to John’s room. He asks questions about what happened. Reassuring Sam that things where gunna be okay. Sam twiddles with his fingers nervously. A deep sigh left his lips. There was clearly something on his mind.

“Dad?” Sam pipes up. 

John grunted in response.

“It felt like Dean was there.” Sam’s eyes kept darting between her and John. Like he was a scared kid about to be ridiculed by John.

Huh?

“What are you talking about kid?” John’s attention was attracted.

“Like, Dean was there. Out of ear shot. Is that possible?” Sam was still twiddling with his thumbs.

“Anything’s possible son.” John looked at her as if to say, “Has this kid gone insane?”

Sam shook his head. Another few minutes of silence Sam stood up. His head peaked down to look at her. There was hope in his eyes.

“Can I talk to you?” Sam was nervous again. His voice quivered like he was cold.

All she could do was muster up a nod.

Getting up, she gave John a quick glance, him grinning back at her.

Sam pulls her away from John’s room. His fingers felt like hot stones on her skin. Her heart rate increased rapidly to the point she could practically hear it in her ears. Sam had pulled her away into a small little hallway. Making it seem as if he didn’t want anyone to bother them.

“You think I’m crazy,” he sighs.

“What?” She was completely confused.

“You didn’t say anything. You typically have some witty response to shoot back at me.” Sam returned to a scared puppy. That’s all he ever was. A scared puppy.

“I’m just trying to process everything right now Sam. It’s been a hell of a year.” Her voice was laced with bitterness. It was enough to make Sam cowardly.

“I know.” His eyes looked glossy as if he was getting ready to cry.

“Sammy,” she sighed.

It was like it was a repeated event of when they first “got back” together.

“It’s highly possible that Dean’s spirit is running around. I just don’t know how we would communicate with him.” Sam’s gaze softened; it was a similar look when he was thinking.

“That’s it!” Sam exclaimed. Making her jump at this sudden boom of his voice.

“What?” Again, she was lost.

“A Ouija board!” Sam was practically bouncing on his heels.

She groaned at his words.

“Sam come on. You know we don’t mess with those things! Dean would be furious!” She shook her head. She truly couldn’t believe his words.

Sam started to walk away from her. Not uttering a word.

“Where are you going!” She shouts after him.

“Keep dad company!” Sam responded.

She scoffed. Winchesters.

Instead of returning to John’s room, she heads to Dean’s. Her heart hurt seeing him hooked to all the wires. She sits in the chair next to his bed, just studying him. A long sigh left her lips and her head fell into her hands. Taking a deep breath, she began speaking. Hoping that Dean wouldn’t actually be able to hear what she had to say, even though he was right behind her in his ghostly form. 

“Dean,” her voice cracked and was close to tears. 

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this with Sam.” She shook her head, a few tears slipping down her cheeks. 

“I love him, I love your brother so damn much, I always have,” She took another pause as footsteps approached. 

Sam rounded the corner into Dean’s room, a bit taken aback that she was present. Holding a paper bag, he overall just looked confused. 

“Are you okay?” He asked as he began to sit on the floor in front of Dean’s bed. 

“Fine,” she was sharp with her words, and the younger Winchester flinched at her tone. 

She rose from her chair, joining beside him. He pulled out the board and another groan left her lips.

“Dean is going to kill you.” He let out a small laugh and nodded in agreement. 

Quickly setting up the board, he looked at her for a second. A wave of concern and sincerity washed over his eyes. His hand began to raise, but was put down almost as fast. He seemed hesitant, which has become more often these days.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”  Sam's voice was sweet, laced with honey enough to get her drunk off of it, but she had to remain composure. 

All she could do was muster up a nod. He sighed in response as he turned his attention towards the board. 

Sam placed his fingers on the planchette, looking at her and waiting for her to do the same. She mirrorod his movements, nodding that she was ready. Sam took another deep breath.

“Dean, are you with us?” Sam asked, a few moments of silence, then the planchette started to move towards ‘yes’. 

He let out an excited squeak. Which was too cute beyond words. 

“What is keeping you away, is there a case?” Sam asked, and the planchette moved back to ‘yes’. 

“Do you know what it is?” Sam asked. 

The planchette began to move over the letters REAP. 

A small ‘huh’ left Sam’s lips. 

The planchette began to move again, without a question asked. Her heart rate began to increase, afraid of what Dean had in mind. The planchette moved over the letters LOVE. Both her and Sam’s heads snapped towards another. A look of confusion falling over both of them. 

“What are you saying Dean?” She asked. 

LOVEBIRDS.

A wave of heat rose to her cheeks. He was listening to her rant after all. Sam shuffled in his place awkwardly. It was one of the things she loved about him. He’s been awkward ever since he was a kid. Another grunt left Sam and he turned back to the planchette. 

“Is the reaper after you?” Sam asked, trying to get rid of the tension. 

The planchette moved back to ‘yes’. 

Sam rose from his position, and began to pace back and forth. 

“Sam, Dean will be fine,” she says as she rises to meet him. 

“I know, I’m just worried.” He stopped pacing and his eyes raised in the way he got about when having a bright idea in his head. 

“Wait! I’ll go ask Dad, stay here,” Sam says leaving the room. 

Completely lost into what was going on, she sat back down in the chair next to Dean’s bed. Cursing at the old brother for the trick he pulled. Sam returned back to Dean’s room, holding John’s infamous journal in his hands. He begins reading aloud the page about reapers. 

“Can I sit next to him?” Sam asks through his puppy dog eyes. 

She nods, standing toe to toe to Sam. Before switching spots, Sam reaches out to her. Hesitantly grabbing her hand, and lacing his fingers with her. He gives it a tight squeeze, as if he was afraid that she was gonna slip away from him. Slowly, Sam lowers his face towards her. Panic arose in her heart. Why was he doing this now? When Dean was in a coma? Before Sam’s lips connected with hers, Dean jolted up from his drug induced coma. The two pulled apart, trying to act like nothing was about to happen. 

“What happened?” Dean asked, his brows furrowed as his eyes darted between the two.

Sam looked at her pleadingly, as if to tell her not to say anything. She gives him a small grin. 

“I uhm, I need to go uhm, do something really fast.” She says, darting out of the room.

Walking towards the courtyard of the hospital looking to get some fresh air, She finds a wooden bench to sit at, and takes a few moments to breathe. Thoughts were rushing through her head as tears welled in her eyes. There was no warning, Sam has such a mind of his own that it was whiplash all the time. Her heart stung at his actions. While yes, it felt like he was getting better, that he was trusting her again, leaning on her again, it just felt manufactured. 

The door to the courtyard opened, and John walked out. A concerned smile tight on his face. He joins her, placing a hand on her that rested on her thigh. All of the emotions became too much. John pulled her into his side as the tears began to flow. Her sobs echoed off the brick walls. John rubs the side of her arm in the hopes of bringing comfort. After a few moments, and she was able to recollect herself, John excuses himself, explaining that he needed to go see the boys. She wasn’t able to really respond. 

She takes at least a bit to gather herself and prepare to see Sam again. Walking towards the area where their rooms were, She is pushed aside by rushing nurses and a doctor. Following them back towards Dean’s room. Sam stood out in the hallway, his fingers deep in his hair. He looked up for a moment, eyes connecting with hers. His eyes were saying more than what he was able to mumble. She rushes to his side as he begins to fall apart. Catching his slumped body in attempts to help console. She was able to finally see what was going on. John laid still in the hallway, hearing them call out the time of death. She knew then that things were definitely going to change between them. Not only did she have to help pick up the pieces after Jess, but now the same with the death of his father.  But it wasn’t a burden to her. 

Things finally settled down and they were preparing to leave the hospital. A hunter's funeral was in the plans for John. Before leaving the hospital, Sam pulls her off into another side corridor, away from the eyes of Dean. 

Within a swift movement, a hand was placed on her hip, another came up to caress her cheek. Sam applies enough pressure on her hip to push her flat against the wall. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach. She watched Sam’s eyes as they darted between her own eyes and lips. A small ‘fuck it’ fell from Sam and he crashed his lips with hers. The kiss was harmonious. His lips felt smooth like he still took care of his hygiene just how he did when they were kids. The hand that was placed on her hip came to engulf her other cheek. As he did this, Sam became more aggressive with his kiss. Their bodies became completely flushed together. He broke their contact, and dipped his head to her neck. Placing small kisses and nibbling softly, he reaches a certain spot that he knows drives her crazy. He bites down hard on that area, sucking slightly. A small gasp of pleasure escapes her lips and she could feel Sam’s hard-on bulge against her thigh. Suddenly, a small knock attracted both of their attention, only to realize it was a doctor going into a patient’s room. Looking back at each other, they held a smile. She wasn’t sure what was going through his brain. His dad just died for christ sake. But maybe he was looking for familiarity with what was unknown right now. 

Dean calls out their name, making both of them sigh. Rounding the corners, Dean stops looking through the other rooms as soon as he spots them. 

“Come on you too,” Dean motions towards him. 

Nodding, they both begin to follow him. Sam places his hand on the little bit of her back, guiding her through the halls. Hopefully, Sammy was coming back to her.

[chaoticfandomgirly]

Supernatural s15 Finale

Okay, so I have something big to confess.

I actually didn't mind how Supernatural ended.

Now, before you all come raging in the comments, hear me out !

You see, Dean dying really wasn't something controversial in my opinion. He was someone who did a lot of questionable things throughout his journey . A lot of people death's are on him. Now, I am not saying he didn't deserve to live. Not at all. But I do think that Dean was not happy with his life. Time and time again it was shown that his will to truly live only extended till his brother was alive. For all the saving the world and stuff, he always, and I mean ALWAYS, prioritized Sam. And throughout the show you can see the PTSD and the depression that Dean suffered through.

AND let's not forget, by the end of s15 almost every character that Dean cared about was either gone or dead. Bobby? Dead. Ellen and Joe? Dead. Mary and John? Dead. Charlie? Dead. Rowena? Queen of Hell. Crowley? Dead. Jack? Gone. Lisa and Ben? Gone.

And CAS? FUCKING DEAD.

So, it does make sense that he went to Heaven and reunited with everyone he had lost. And not to mention he got a perfect heaven, where he could be FINALLY at peace. After saving the world a billion times he did deserve a break but he said it himself that he would only ever go down swinging.

So the lyric, "Lay your weary head down to rest," came to fruition.

And as for him being without Sam? That time apart was as long as a road trip around Heaven's garden for him.

Though, to imagine that Sam had to live without Dean, and raise a son who would never get to know his uncle. Sam's brother. The person who he loved most. Now that made me cry. (And yes I did cry! I am not completely heartless! Just a writer who like to analyse stuff.)

But yeah, out of all the things that happened in the last season, the ending was what made sense to me. Because the alternative was Dean carrying on with his life as a hunter with none of the beloved characters in sight. And Sam being right there with Dean, and possibly not having a family, because he would not leave his brother.

And for everyone who says that Dean was a family man and deserved to have a family? I will say this again. Yes he was a family man and deserved to raise his own kids. But how would he do that when none of his real family besides Sam existed? And let's not forget...Cas. As a destiel shipper I don't believe that Dean could have moved on and started a family without him.

So yeah, there, I rest my case now.