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husbandohunter · 4 years ago

Note

Dottore with short drabble “You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”

Something angsty pls? Thank you!

Tainted Glass [Dottore x Reader/Genshin Impact]

Synopsis: Can you escape the prison you made?

(A twisted Cinderella story. The girl was covered in cinders because she was fatally addicted to drowning in flames.)

Warnings: angst, emotional abuse, violence, death

(A/n): To be honest anon, I didn’t know what the word ‘drabble’ means until I googled it. I uh...hope you don’t mind the length :>

-----------------------

You fell back against the cold hard floor with your arms bent and head turned sideways. The stinging pain spreads across your cheek. It burns. But your mind was still trying to register what had just came into fruition.

Why?

The thought was so foreign somehow as if you could hardly believe he was doing this. But then the scene plays in your head again. You froze, your gaze enlarged and clueless while staring at the pale ground as it slowly begins to darken in the seeping movement of his menacing, haunting shadow.

"Insolent woman, you wretch!" He spat in a disgusted tone, "How dare you speak to me in such demanding manner? Have I already told you, only talk when you have something important to say?"

You didn't respond, rather you merely let the strands fall in front of your vision as you gingerly pressed your hand against the place where he hit you.

I…don't quite understand…

Dottore glowers down at your hunched form. He was never a man known for the virtue of patience. This man, the one who calls him your husband, you learned a long time ago to not meet his eyes as they would signal a hint of dominance amidst his authority, especially during moments like these. You came to feel his eyes instead, they were usually intense and full of wrath, sometimes crazed and curious while looking at his finest creations. He always loved experimenting in his labratory. After all, it was the only thing that could truly make the madman smile.

What is it that I'm missing? Where did I go wrong?

And you would do anything to obtain at least a fraction of the love he had left in his heart.

He marches onward with heavy footsteps, paying no mind to your well-being, "Tch get out of my sight. I don't have the time to entertain with anymore these theatrics."

At the sound of him leaving you darted your attention towards him, "Wait, come back. Come back, " you plea softly, "Hector…" But he ignores your call. The back of your fiance disappears behind the door and slams it with a resounding thud. He was gone. You couldn't save him.

"No," As a result, you burried your face into your palms and cried.

“I'm sorry.”

…

What is love?

Being raised in one of the most prestigious bloodlines of Fontaine, a life filled with riches since your parents were well known scholars throughout Teyvat, they provided you and your family with everything you needed. From exquisite dishes to priceless jewelry, yet even among those riches you never did find an answer to your question. They were tangibles and short-lasting, eventually leaving you with nothing until the glass of your heart was filled empty. They seemed to have cared more about their fortune along with the brightest child of their family line, your brother, a male heir, someone who fulfilled their expectations where you couldn't do so. And because he was able to give them what they wanted, he was loved.

I see, love is conditional.

Realizing that you possessed no talent to achieve what your brother had accomplished, you came to accept that you were undeserving of their love. Love was for the smart. Love was for the gifted. Love was for everything you are not. There was no place for your kind and thus you locked yourself up in your bedroom chambers along with your fragile heart where no one would try to find you, picking up the books upon the shelves and getting lost in their fantasies.

They told you many beautiful things about the world and many reasons why it was so tragic. Because they weren't real. The story begins with a princess who was a kind-hearted soul, deprived from the care of her evil stepmother and dreams of marrying a prince from a land far far away. They often end on a happily ever after with the princes finding her one true love. You've never seen anything like it. Where two people, despite the struggles they went through, loved each other unconditionally.

Unconditional love only exists in dreams.

Or so you thought to believe.

One day a man marched right at the doorsteps of your mansion. He was a student coming all the way from Sumeru Academia and had high hopes of building a business partnership with your father. The man was declined of course, you watched from the garden bushes as he was sent off back into his carriage. He stops abruptly and turns his head ajar to catch your figure, his inquisitive eyes were both striking and sharp. Like thorns of a rose that was ready to prick anyone who dares to come close. Even so, they made a very lasting impression.

Red eyes.

It was the first time that someone had looked your way.

Couple of months later, the government had arranged a grand ball where all nobles would gather and commit to building their social circle. Useless events. There was no reason for you to engage. While your parents were occupied with the latest gossips and your brother surrounded by fathers who were eager to marry their daughters to him, you snuck outside to the balcony and hid away from the crowd. Quiet at last. And as things should be. The moon was your only friend because she was just like you; half empty. Maybe that was why you still had a glimmer of hope for the other half to be filled.

Part white, you inquired, pristine and untainted. From far away it looked similar to snow.

"My, how pleasantly surprising."

While the other part was stained with black cinders.

You glanced over your shoulder to see a man leaning against the pillar. His mint coloured bangs were slicked back in a trendy fashion, complimenting the white suit he adorned himself with. The golden chains hanging around his ebony boots dangled and clanged with each step he took forward until the light finally reveals his face.

"You seem familiar," you say while squinting your eyes, "Are you the person my father rejected back in February?"

He quirks one brow and you were afraid if you had offended him. But before you could utter an apology, the man splits his lips into a toothy grin and bursts out into a maniac-like laughter. He was completely insane, you thought to yourself. Though he paid no mind to your discomfort and continued to dwell in his amusement, "Hahaha straightforward, I like it! So what if I am? Is it a requirement to be a noble for me to simply have a chat?"

"And if I may ask why?"

"Hmmm, why?" The man reaches for the balcony and presses his back there. He threw his head backward before drilling his ruby gaze into yours, "I too am not fond of annoying crowds. Those snobbish fools thinking they're above everyone else just because they have a couple of mora when that is all they are worth. It's almost too hilarious for my own good."

You could tell there was disdain in his tone. Mainly towards your father who were one of the many unkind nobles of Fontaine and was only liked because of his success. Gripping your hands upon the stone railings, you looked down at the distant trees below while the wind rustled them apart, "I can't deny that," you say dissapointedly, "It's common for nobles not to associate with lower classes as it could potentially ruin their image. Though I may not have been there but I'm sure you had much to offer in terms of your brilliance, erm, Mister…?"

"Hector," Hector placed a palm on his chest with a polite bow following suit, "Hector Dufour-Lapointé. It is a pleasure to make you an acquaintance Lady (Y/n)."

"You know my name?"

"How could I not?" Hector smirks lazily as he danced around you, "I saw you before hiding behind the rose bushes back in your estate. Quite curious why you didn't attempt to say hello."

He even remembers that too. You fiddled with the fabric of your dress, "My apologies. I'm not use to socializing so much."

“Is that so? I think you're not giving yourself enough credit," he complimented while shrugging, "This is much more entertaining than hanging in that insufferably crowded room, it was an unexpected occurence to meet you here of all places. However, I must say time can fly if I'm able to enjoy myself."

You shifted away from his stare, "You flatter me. We've only been talking for a few minutes."

"I have yet to realize it then" Hector's cheerfulness remains at stance despite your gloomy response. He leans forward like a curious child and tosses you a question, "Then allow me to ask, what brings you out here Lady (Y/n)? I don't see any reason when your family are such highly respected people of Fontaine."

"I'm not like them!" You retort instantly, causing the man to glance at you with skepticism, "I mean, I have nothing to do with them and they have nothing to do with me. That's just how it is. They already have Clement after all…"

Why am I telling him this?

"Ah your brother I assume. Yes so I've heard much about his genius mind. There were a few instances where he and I collaborated at Sumeru Academia," Hector speaks as if regarding to his unpleasant memories, "Although he never said anything about having a sister."

"We're not that close. And I'm not very fond of him," you confessed bluntly.

"Neither am I," Hector agreed with a scowl, "He claims his position using the knowledge derived from history books but never tries to think beyond the norm. That ignorant mindset of his will surely be his downfall one day."

"Ignorance can lead to anyone's downfall. If they turn a blind eye to the truth, so much can be taken from them," you paused shortly from rambling too much, "That's what I read in books at least."

"As expected of your lineage," he sighs whimsically, "Such avid readers."

"Well my family prefers documents and research. I've gone through them too but I will always love reading fiction."

"Ha! Seems you really are trying to be different from the rest of your family."

Seconds turn to minutes and minutes to hours, you had already forgotten about the cold breeze despite your dress being less than ideal for the outdoors. The man, although he can be a little to blathering at times, was more than what seemed to be on the surface. At first you thought of him as someone here to take advantage of your relations to your father but he seemed so sincere when listening to your stories, so eager while expressing his thoughts and even made you laugh a couple of times. You didn't realize that the clock had already struck twelve as the guests were preparing to leave but you just weren't ready to do the same.

"Until next time (Y/n)," he takes your fingers and pressed a kiss on top of them, though you were more struck by how he addressed you without honorifics, "I look forward to speaking with you again."

A warm smile graces your lips as you cursty, "Likewise Hector. Thank you for listening to me. I know I must have taken a long time."

Hector sneered but you already learned that it was simply his way of expressing amusement, "Hardly. I was thoroughly entertained."

When your parents found out about your meeting with him, they made it clear that you would never see him again. Hector Dufour-Lapointé is what he calls himself but the real name behind this man was Hector Valliere who came from a village hidden in the west of Fontaine. Rumours said that he was chased out of his hometown by an angry mob, claiming him to be a madman conducting unethical experiments on humans. Shortly after his arrival in Sumeru, he abandoned his past identity and replaced it with a new one in order to enter the academy under legal supervision. Associating with a man of a suspicious reputation would only cause harm to your family's name. Though you could barely care much about their reputation. There was nothing for you to benefit from it.

Few weeks have passed and you evetually gave up on the thought of hearing from Hector. They were only fleeting moments, nothing more. Your routine would stay the same as you kept on plucking more books off the shelves, killing whatever time you had. However the activities you used to enjoy somehow lost it's flair and there would be a slight pain in your chest whenever you turn to a page with the princess as she is surrounded by her friends. What exactly changed? Your family still treated you the same. Did you suddenly grow bored from doing the same thing everyday? Why is it that you feel much more lonelier despite being alone for so long? It was hard to tell in a singular perspective. If only there was someone here to give you some insights on things you couldn't see…

A silver bird lands by your front window and you nearly fell out of your chair as it flapped their wings violently. A machine?! They dropped what seems to be an envelope within the thick bushes before taking off and buzzing into the evening sky. You switched off the lock and lifted the glass within a single movement, snatching the piece of paper so that the wind wouldn't blow it away. Hastily you opened it. Both curious and cautious of why would anyone send you mail in such a discreet approach.

Chère Mademoiselle (Y/n),

I can only imagine the shock of your expression once reading this letter. I'm only writing to you since I assume that your father had already told you those nasty rumours about my past. No matter. I trust that you have a good head on your shoulders to not prejudge people using such miniscule details. I wish to speak with you again. Unless you have other plans staying in that stuffy room of yours, meet me behind the clock tower at 11:00 p.m. Don't be late.

Bien à vous,

"It really is him!" The happiness spreads all across your features as you clutched the letter to your chest. For some reason, your heart wouldn't stop racing. It was a simple yet thoughful action on his part but despite how short his greeting was, every word held the weight of a thousand sparks, "I…I can't stop smiling."

And without hesitation, you prepared to leave. No one noticed your absence.

-------

It was only halfway where you realized that Hector didn't give many details redgarding why he planned this sudden event. You caught sight of him standing under the roofs with his hands hidden behind his back. He had on his signature lopsided grin, brows uneven as he glanced at you casually.

"How very punctual, were you so eager that you couldn't wait?" He teases.

"I was surprised when your bird knocked upon my window," you inform, "Is it something urgent?"

"Not at all. I merely wanted to catch up with old times," Hector tilts forward to emphasize his suggestion, "Care to indulge me for a bit?"

You crossed your arms, "Then what is it that you're hiding behind your back?"

"Hmm?" He hums, "You mean this?"

"Ah!"

Roses. A bouquet of bright red flowers were presented to you, nicely wrapped in fabric. In the language of Fontaine, recieving them could mean multiple of things and you couldn't help but feel hesitant despite his thoughtful gesture, "Why are you giving me this?"

"Is it so wrong for me to be a gentleman? I thought it would be best to prepare you a gift after you put all that effort to come out in such a late hour," Hector mused to himself, "Especially when you had to make sure no prying eyes would catch us."

You let out a small laugh before accepting the bouquet, "I wouldn't go as far to say that."

"Oh?" Although it was hard to see, Hector managed to catch a glimpse of your flushed cheeks hidden behind the flowers. A darken smirk climbs onto his face at the inviting thought of what it could mean, "Tell me more."

The whole night you both spent walking around the empty plaza with only the stars as your guide. They paved a silver path reflected in the horizon above, free flowing like one of the many watercolour paintings hung in your chambers, uncertain where they may lead but you followed them regardless. If it weren't for Hector's inivtation you might have never known about the parts of your city due to the restricted lifestyle you lived. He listened to every one of them. The stories you had to tell when there was no one for you to talk to and the complaints about your brother whenever he wanted to snitch on your actions just to get the praise out of your father. You expressed your frustrations when speaking about your incompetences, joy after reading a good fairytale book written by your favourite author, there was so much to say that you were worried if Hector soon grew tired from them.

"Go on. I'm listening."

And your heart flutters again. Suddenly everything felt so light with each step you took, it was as if you walked across the stars in the sky rather than the heavy pavement of the ground you called your home. But even if happiness was a bliss, it tormented you. Because companionship made you realize how poor your were all along. That you had everything yet you had nothing, slowly withering away like the roses you held in your hand. Convinced that your existence was worth nothing more than nothing itself. Doomed to be dismissed and forgotten. Rotting away...Hector stays by your side as you cried softly into the night.

From a distance the bell rings and echoes just like the time before during Fontaine's grand ball. Hector shows you a secret route so that no one could find you.

"Will you write to me again?"

The request was so innocent, purely from genuine intentions and devoided of anything he had in mind. Hector would always laugh in these situations when things have gone unexpectedly yet pleasingly his way but held back knowing that it would be foolish to waste such a priceless opportunity. And so he gave you his smile, one full of secrets where you had mistakened it as a promise, "Of course my dear."

Every night you could no longer fall asleep since he had occupied your thoughts completely. Sometimes you'd dream of him and their tales would unfold similarly to the ones you have read. It gone to the point where the maids would have to wake you up during late afternoons due to the dramatic change in your sleep schedule. Though, you didn't care what they did to you. As long as no one found out about your secret rendezvous.

You never thought that there'd be a day where you would voluntarily give up reading your beloved fairytales. They were now replaced by a stash of his letters that have been accumulated over the past few months. You read them each day, pacing back and forth within the walls of your room, whispering his sentences as if he were the one saying them to you. He made you feel special. You were addicted to this feeling. Eventually you managed to memorize his words by heart.

The pages of your diary were filled with notes. Like your very own fairytale carved into reality. From the rose petal, now dried, to the hairpin he snatched from a distracted merchant and a single strand of his hair you found within your cloak after a warm embrace, all of these items, a remnant of the man you loved were taped up in these pages. Sometimes you could even feel his prescence because it was all you needed. It didn't matter if Clement threw insults about how worthless your existence was, your parents could lock you in this prison if they wanted to but they shall never take away Hector from you. Never. You swear it. He was your whole world and the prince who saved you from a life made of aching emptiness. You would do anything to keep him by your side. Anything to gain his affection.

Anything.

"I had a feeling that you were the culprit dear sister."

Your arms stutters as they clutched tightly on the scrolls you took off from the shelves. The light crept into the room like arms reaching out to clutch around your ankles, warning you for trespassing. You turned around dreadfully to see Clement pressing his shoulder against the doorframe with his arms folded and a wicked expression aimed at your pitiful state.

"Why…Why are you still awake?" You say in disbelief, "I thought everyone was asleep."

"Please. Not only are you shameless but hypocritical as well. You truly are a dissapointment to our family."

"Wait," taking a step forward, you stopped him before he makes his exit, "I'll put them back. Just don't tell father about this."

But like your parents, your brother was unkind. Clement doubles over and hugs his torso, cackling through his teeth, "Is that how it is?" He swipes his arm up and you see a parchment paper held between his fingers.

"No!"

"Ma chérie (Y/n). I must say all this tenacious effort of sneaking in my letters to your window is becoming more and more tiresome. But of course, you are an exception. I want the scrolls you've mentioned the other day at my lair tomorrow evening. Make sure no one discovers this. I'm counting on you. Cordialement! Hector."

"No…" you whispered, feeling the weight of the world fall upon your shoulders as it shattered apart. Hector. If possible, you hoped that the pieces could just crush you right then and there. Your knees felt weak and a fright takes over but despite your turmoil, Clement didn't show a shred of sympathy.

"So this is why you've been acting odd lately. Pathetic," he flaps the paper tauntingly in his grasp, "I can't decide if I should be impressed or baffled by your actions. A secret romance with a criminal and the bloodline of Fontaine's most respected government associates? Even though you've hit rock bottom, you still decided to dig deeper."

"Clement you don't understand!" Stumbling upon your footsteps, you desperately tried to convey your predicament even if it meant feeding his ego, "Hector is not the man you think. He was shunned by the people of his hometown, treating him as if he were nothing. They…They ignored him! All this time he needed someone to recognize his brilliance, someone to understand." Shakily, you brought your tensed arms to your chest and screamed a silent whisper, "Someone to listen but no one did. He must have felt so alone…"

Clement flinches when you suddenly clutched onto his biceps. When he looked into your eyes, a shiver ran down his spine.

"Hector is counting on me. I'm the only one who can save him. No one else. He needs me Clement, he needs me!"

"Tch."

An ear-splitting scream of his hand against your face echoes across the room. It knocked you out of your stance and you bumped into the table, grunting while the scrolls to tumbled to the floor.

"Crazy woman, I'm embarassed to be related to you!"

While you were still trying to regain your balance, your brother had already ran off. It wouldn't be long before he alerted your parents, the clock ticking away like sand until the final hour leaves you with nothing but an empty glass.

"No," despair swallows the strength away from your legs and you crawled towards where he used to stand, "Don't take him away from me…I need him…"

I can't live without him.

Tears begin to form by the corners of your eyes as you clenched your teeth. This was no time to cry. Balling your fists, you sprinted out of the room, pushing whatever stood in your way as if you were running for your life.

And if you considered everything else, it wasn't that far from the truth.

-------

"Hector! Hector are you there?" After arriving upon his house, you began knocking on his door aggressively. The lock clicks and you were greeted by an evidently annoyed man gnawing his teeth together.

"Tsk. There better be a good reason-"

"They're coming for us! We have to go. Now. Before it's too late. My father is probably already waking and making arrangements for you to-"

"Enough, I can't even catch what you're saying," He pinches the bridge of his nose while you were still stuck in a frenzy state. He takes a step back and opens the door wider, gesturing for you to come inside, "Get in already. I have a feeling that this will be a long night."

Hector observes intently at the words you tell him.

Not out of concern but akin to the way he watches the insects react when he exposes them to a different environment.

He was a scientist after all. A madman in which you deliberately fell in love with, so much to the point that he was able to feel pity for once. How you trusted him wholeheartedly with all of your vulnerabilities, emotions and secrets like handing him your parts just so he could put you back together again. Tinkering was always one of his favourite hobbies and he couldn't help but feel a twisted sense of pride at the thought of you being completely wrapped around his finger.

Perhaps that was the reason why he loved you. Because he didn't love you. He loved you in parts.

"It was only a matter of time," Hector sighs. He sneaks his grasp into yours, knowing how much it affects you and puts on an invisible mask of deciet, "I already knew this day would happen long before anyone could have predicted it."

"You did?" With worried eyes you gazed at him, "What shall we do then?"

Knowing he hit the target, his lips begin to curl up towards his ears, showing his sharp white teeth that shone against the dim-litted room. Hector asks, "Do you love me?"

A silly question. You didn't hesitate to answer, "Of course I do. I've said it many times."

"Prove it to me," Forcing his forehead against yours, Hector commands in a dangerously low tone, "Kill your brother and only then you can truly be mine."

Your brain sutters, trying to absorb what he had just said. Kill? As in to take a life? It sounded wrong. But...was it wrong if the life belonged to someone who ruined yours?

Dumbfoundedly, you glanced into the bloody orbs of your lover, his black pupils thinning into knives while burning in the hellfire of his true colours. Hector runs a hand from the scalp of your hair, down to your cheek before gingerly sliding his fingers at your jawline. He pulled you close and whispered into your ear.

"Are you scared?"

Ah, this wasn't about your feelings. This was about him and your future and there could be no future you without him by your side.

You let your eyelids drop and leaned into his touch, "I could never be scared of you Hector. Whether it is within my power or not, I will make sure no one gets in our way. I swear it."

"Good," he continues to have you feed on his affection, "I knew I could count on you."

-----------

The news of your brother's death filled every headline Fontain had to offer. He was driven off a cliff while making a trip towards Sumeru. No one survived. The remains were so crushed to the point that authorities had trouble identifying their bodies. The only explanation they could come up with by observing the leftover tracks was that the horse must have gone out of control and ended up dragging the carriage along with it.

Ha. Serves him right.

Food poisoning. The vial Hector made was very effective. You made sure to bury it away from your mansion.

With no other choice, you became your family's next heir. Hector notifies you that he would be away for several months to solidify a unique connection with a man hailing from Snezhnaya. You didn't think he would arrive at your doorsteps with so much authority. Fatui soldiers followed from behind as the staff paved a way for them to enter. Your father was clearly displeased by his outrageous approach but he knew he was in no place to deny.

"Upon the agreement between Fontaine and Snezhnaya, Lady (Y/n) will become Harbinger Il Dottore's wife," the Duke announces, "This news will be publicly announced at the end of October."

Dottore? Is that what he calls himself?

As if claiming his victory, Dottore shoots your father a devilish smile. You could feel the dining table shake when he kept pressing his fist against the smooth surface, begrudingly congratulating you both for the new engagement. Your mother bursted into tears.

Was it worth it?

You watched both of your parents mourn silently in their own manner. Perfectly knowing that you were the main cause. But you weren't able to feel any sadness because in the end, you now had everything you've ever wanted.

The inheritance.

Their attention.

But most of all, him.

And when you were convinced that this was your happily ever after, that fairytales were not just beautiful lies for the sake of comfort, you didn't realize you were already living a life made of beautiful lies conjured by your own mind for the sake of your own comfort.

"You're nothing without me."

Dried and calloused hands squeezed around your throat as you flailed your legs against the soft fabric of the carpet floor. He encases you in a straddling position, enjoying the sight of your tortured and clenched face. Hector…no, Dottore hated it when you disobeyed him. He despised it when his creations don't work the way he wanted them to and he had no use for things that are broken.

"G-hka--k..-"

"How many times do I have to remind you to not use my birthname. Do those ears of you even function properly? Or must I fix them myself?"

You gasped for air when he relaxed his grip. Vision a blur, you coughed a few times before he pulls your arm so that you lay flushed against his chest.

"Don't forget who saved you dear (Y/n). Because of me you were able to escape that miserable life you've despised for years. I expect the utmost gratitude on your part at all times, it is only fair that I punish you for not meeting my requirements, don't you agree?" Dottore lifts his hand up to pinch your cheeks, pulling your head to stare at your eyes, "After all, there is no one else in this world who can put up with you…but me."

His words were poison in which you drank like a woman starved. It made you feel numb to the pain the more you drowned in their alluring scent, the taste was sweet, a remedy for the bitterness of reality where the man of your dreams was nothing but a cruel monster. You came to believe that the reason why he treated you so harshly was because he was scared of losing you. You were caught in the trap of what seemed to be love and devotion when truly, you were just a toy to be used at a means end. He breaks you and he puts you back together, over and over again, filling in between the cracks formed in your glass heart with the phrases you loved to hear. Just like how he filled the other holes of your life where no one else did. You called it kindness. He saw it as entertainment.

Most people pay attention to the flower's beauty but they never acknowledge the thorns hidden beneath it's blossom. That is why they bleed. They get hurt. Though, you didn't mind shedding blood if it was for his sake.

Because you would do anything for him.

You would do anything to bring back the memories of Hector Dufour-Lapointé and save him from the Harbinger that ruined his life. Your life. It wasn't his fault. You knew you could change him to what he was before because you were in love with him, that he might still in there. Somewhere.

Right?

…

Please come back.

Time continues to flow like the tears of your dying heart despite yearning for it to turn at the past. Dottore already left the room a long time ago but you didn't. Raising your head away from your hands, you peered at the door in front of you, begging desperately through a chanting record of despondence.

Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back.

Images, they slipped through your fingers, slowly becoming more distant until your mind began to see them as illusions. Dreams. Things that were not real. Telling you that your life was a lie.

"Come back to me…Hector."

Because the man you loved was withering in your memories and you couldn't do anything to save him.

A dry croak robbed you of your breath as you turned to look in the mirror.

Worthless. You were always worthless, it was what your parents told you since birth. It was what you became when he wasn't at your side because without him, your existence was worthless. You lied for him, you stole for him you, took a life for him. You destroyed yourself for him to point that it was hard to believe you were even looking at yourself.

Worthless. It's who I am.

And despite it all, you couldn't obtain his love.

(Crack).

Worthless things don’t deserved to be loved.

(Crack. Crack).

But what if it’s because I’m worthless, that he won’t love me back?

(Crack).

Your eyes jolted open, causing you to gasp sharply. When the sweet lies dispersed in your head and cleansed you of deceit, everything started to make sene. You came to realize why your wish was impossible all along.

Dottore...no, Hector, the reason wasn't because he didn't return your feelings. Neither was it due to the fact that he hurt you through his actions. Nor when he made you cry or scream for help before feeding you with more lies, thinking he would never hurt you again. It was none of those things.

It was because the man you loved this whole time was someone who could love no one but himself.

"Ha...haha," sucking in your breath, a sinister laugh escapes your mouth, "Hahahahahahaha.....!"

Everything was worthless.

You grabbed a nearby hairbrush and threw it at the mirror, watching yourself shatter into a million pieces.

There was only one thing left to do.

------

"Ugh, where is it?!"

It was late into the night where every staff had gone to sleep. The Harbinger fumbles with his keys while standing at the door of his basement as he was too busy proceeding with his research rather than considering the thought of rest. Usually he acted upon them on his own will, performing various experiments for enjoyment. However, ever since the Snezhnayan court had requested him to look into the ancient arts of alchemy, Dottore was forced to carry it out before the deadline approached. Otherwise his position as Harbinger would be revoked.

"What a bunch of self-centered blockheads. Can't they understand that it take quality time to get quality results?"

Most of his important documents were stored on the otherside. Half of it came from his father-in-law's library. He had you to thank for that.

"Ah finally," he mutters, though still dissatisfied, "I should have a word with my butler for misplacing them."

Dottore shoves the key into the lock but instead of twisting the knob he noticed something strange. It was old and had yet to be fixed but somehow he didn't have any trouble adjusting his wrist. Then he saw there were a set of freshly made fingerprints upon the smooth metallic surface. However, the only person awake at this time would be him-

An intruder!

Dottore drops everything to the ground and yanks the door open. He skittered down the stone stairs while cursing under his breath. Using the delusion gifted by the Tsaritsa, the Harbinger activated his lazer-like pillars as he took advantage of their glow to light up the unlit room.

"What in the abyss...?!"

Except it wasn't dark.

"All of these scrolls, I recognize them," without sparing a single glance, you spoke nostalgically towards the bookshelves, "It brings me so much memories..."

Dottore clenches his teeth together as his eyes shone an angry red, you were holding a torch dangerously close to his hard-earned collection, "What do you think you're doing?!" He fumed, "Put that out, AT ONCE! Don't make me repeat myself!

"They're precious to you aren't they?" You finally shifted to face him, "More than me."

"What has gotten into you?" He was about to hurl at you until he saw your torch lowering, causing him to retreat. You were strangely noncholant and he couldn't help the feeling of disturbance. Accepting that he didn't have the upperhand, Dottore decided to use a different approach, "(Y/n)."

The sound of your name falls from his lips. You faltered.

"I'm sorry for what I have done. I know I was dishonourable to you, as your husband and lover, and that you didn't deserve to see me so aggressive. You have every right to express your anger, my dear. I was in the wrong."

It was only a mask. You knew it well. But seeing him with softened eyes and a tone so comforting, made you desperately wanting to run into his arms so he could wipe away your sorrows just like once upon a time. To live happily ever after.

Hector.

Dottore runs his fingers through his hairstrands in frustration and sighs, "However the Tsarista needed me to do something very important and I can't seem to fulfill her request no matter how hard I try. It angers me. If I don't finish this, there would be no place for us to stay."

"Hector..." you sniffled quietly. He looks so much like him right now.

"Can't you see I'm doing this for you?" He consoles, yet his weapons still remain, "I only intended to make you happy and there's nothing I won't do to achieve that. How about I show-"

"Enough."

Dottore froze upon your sudden command. He didn't sense a hint of subjugation and it seemed that you had perfect control of your emotions. How very inquisitive. Did you grow immune to the style of his voice? In such a short period of time? The facade he had on was now replaced with a growling animal-like expression. You looked at him dissapointedly. His Harbinger self returned. Hector was no more.

"Ha, you're the same as always. Even before the time you became a Harbinger. The same man that I fell in love with but it is me who will never be the same again," For a moment you averted your gaze as if trying hard to swallow your own words, "Remember when we first met at the balcony? That I told you my favourite books to read are fiction? I knew they weren't real but deep down, I wanted to believe in them anyways. And you know what? They did come true, to some degree..."

As the memories come flashing back, he defenselessly watches your expression contort from sadness to a calm contemplation and finally, enraged disgust, "But you only ever brought me pain and I'm sick of it!"

Swaying the torch to the side, Dottore flinches forward but he didn't dare to come close when your current state was unpredictable to him, "I JUST WANTED YOU TO LOVE ME," you wail, I just wanted to be loved, bringing a clawed hand against your forehead and trembling upon contact, "It's all that I ask for..."

Dottore narrowed his brows. Perhaps he may have gotten too far.

"But I know it's impossible. The world is a cruel place and there's no point in trying anymore. That is why I'm going to set us free."

"...What do you mean?"

You shut your eyes closed and tossed the flaming torch to the ground. A horrified expression takes over his features. It didn't take long for the fire to begin spreading amongst the room.

"NO!" Dottore yelled powerfully, he frantically darts his gaze at all directions as they continued to flicker and blend into his precious documents. You stood still and watched him grab the ones that were intact, savouring the most he could but they slip out of his arms every time he moved. Dottore glances behind him to see a rising cage of hellfire. Then he turns to you.

" 'Til death do us part!" you laughed maniacally.

The madman looked back with angry dismay, "You're out of your mind!"

Abandoning whatever he held in his hand, Dottore spins around towards the staircase. He covers his face with his sleeve and did whatever he could to prevent the fire from touching him. However, he accidentally stumbled on his footsteps and something fell off the heights, knocking him in the face. He grunts painfully.

"That will leave a scar," you smile while he clutches at his injury, "I can break you too.”

Just like how you broke me.

Knowing that you've managed to leave a mark of your existence on him in someway, you peacefully watched your lover wobble between the hell you created. But the hell you knew was not made of scorching heat and thundering flames. Hell was empty. Hell was a void. This feeling was far too gentle to be considered hell. If he can't return your love, then at least let these caging arms bask you in the warmth you’ve always desired.

Lifting your head, you looked towards the ceiling and closed your eyes.

Ah, this cannot be death.

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nat-20s · 4 years ago

Text

Wonderful! Au Part 7! (also on ao3 here) another episode only installment, and obnoxiously fluffy! Have fun!

~*~

Martin, tired: Hello everybody! Welcome, or welcome back, to a very low energy episode. We have had, as the kids say, A Week Tm.

Jon, equally tired, but fond: Is that as the kids say?

Martin: I don't know, and perhaps worse, I don't really care. I guess I could ask Jeremiah next time he's over, but I'm not sure if that would actually help.

Jon: Shockingly, I don't think two year olds have their finger on the beating pulse of youth culture.

Martin: Hmm, maybe not. Speaking of Jeremiah, he's part of why the format of this episode is gonna be a bit different than our regular. On top of me dealing with a frankly obscene amount of inventory management, and Jon being swamped with grant writing-

Jon: I never want to look at proposal guidelines again-

Martin: we were on babysitting duty for our favourite neighborhood hellion-

Jon: Hey, Jeremiah is a very sweet kid! I know he's a toddler, but we shouldn't be slandering him anyway.

Martin: One, we're not even using his real name, I don't think that counts as slander, and two, exactly, he's a toddler, he's by default a hellion.

Jon, teasing: This coming from the person that actually wants one?

Martin: I..look, if anything, the last few days have shown we should not be permanent parents.

Jon: But?

Martin:...There's no but.

Jon: I don't believe you! Are you lying for my benefit or the audience's? Because someone spent the last five days wearing one of the largest grins I've ever seen, exhausted as it may have been.

Martin: Okay! Fine, I admit, I liked having a kid around. I still think it would be a bad idea to do it full time, but I dunno. I wish we weren't both only children or something. We would make such good uncles.

Jon: Should I should have taken that teaching job after all?

Martin: Perhaps. After all,

Martin, singsong: An English teacher, is really someone!

Jon and Martin, singing together: If only you, had be-come one!

Jon: Honestly, though, I was considerably underqualified. I'm much more suited to my current job, even if it doesn't have quite the same impact on the "shaping of the next generation" or whatnot.

Martin: Wait, you actually care about qualifications now? When did that change?

Jon: This coming from Mister "master's degree in parapsychology"? And it was probably around the time that the world ended from taking on a workload I was ill-suited for.

Jon:...

Jon: Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Martin: Oh, of course. Definitely nothing literally apocalyptic in our pasts, no siree, nothing to see or speculate about or make weirdly involved forums for here. Uh, anyway, long introduction not so short: Both of us have been averaging about 4 hours of sleep, so any sort of actual research was not on the table.

Jon: If any of you are wondering why we didn't just say that we're both very much worn out and thus we'll be taking a week off, it's because we're both deeply, deeply stubborn.

Martin: It's one of our best shared qualities that has never caused any conflict between us, ever.

Jon: In fairness, sheer stubbornness does account for, what, 75% of the reason that either of us are still alive? And it hasn't caused a major conflict between us in a good three years.

Martin: That's true. We've become a deeply boring, relatively conflict free couple. Which fucking rules, by the way. To all the couples out there: I highly recommend being boring. It is so nice. We've gotten to go to the farmer's market so many times.

Jon: You do love the farmer's market. I would say that it's the access to fresh produce, but I think you just like the attention that one yarn seller gives you. Can't believe you would take advantage of a crush to get discounts on wool. How did I marry such an opportunist?

Martin: Ollie does not have a crush on me. They're just friendly to everyone.

Jon: Bullshit. I certainly never get an extra skein or stitch markers or delicate fabric cleaner tossed in my bag. Actually, I think I've been charged more for committing the crime of having married you before they could.

Martin: I'm..70% sure that's not true, but every sentence we speak, we stray further from even pretending to be on topic. So, to everybody listening, this is the itty bitty episode! Basically, we're only doing small wonders and user submissions. If you want details or backstory for things we like, too bad, come back next week. Jon, I believe you're first this week?

Jon: Oh, right. My first small wonder is cat names.

Martin: Delightful, but unsurprising. Though, I would've expected either more or less specificity. Why cat names as opposed to pet's names in general, or, like, military title names?

Jon: Well that's simple enough. I've simply never met a misnamed cat, even if the name itself wasn't to my personal tastes, and I think that speaks to the wonderful universality of cats.

Martin: This, of course, implies that you have met animals that were misnamed.

Jon: Oh, I have. I once met a papillion dog named Meatball.

Martin: Now I know you don't like food names in general for pets, but are you sure that Meatball didn't suit the dogs personality? I've known some "Meatballs" in my lifetime.

Jon, only half-mock offended: Of course it didn't fit, Martin. She was a lady. A nervous, jittery lady, but a lady nonetheless.

Martin, laughing: And what, you've never met a dignified cat with an undignified name, or vice versa? Would you be okay with our cat being named Meatball?

Jon: I would be upset if our cat was named Meatball, because we named her and we're above that sort of thing, but, technically speaking, she could have been Meatball in another lifetime and it wouldn't have been wrong. You see, all cats are a mix of both extremely austere and little baby idiot.

Martin: Oh, is that the scientific terminology?

Jon: It is. Now, while there's probably some amount of, er, normative determinism or confirmation bias or something that results in a cat with a more dignified name seeming to possess more of that austerity, as all cats have both, any name can, potentially, fit. Hence why it's wonderful.

Martin: I..accept your proposal for now, but I think more research needs to be done. Maybe we should visit the shelter this weekend and test your hypothesis.

Jon: Hmm. I think we may need to visit multiple shelters, actually. A large sample size is necessary for any sort of veracity, obviously.

Martin, imitating Jon tone: Obviously.

Jon: Glad you agree. What's your first small wonder?

Martin: Tofu!

Jon: I..didn't realize you liked that much?

Martin: Well, I don't get it very often since I know you can't stand the texture, even though it is not like 'worse scrambled eggs', and you're a horrible food thief-

Jon: Lies and slander. We readily share. If I'm a horrible food thief, you have committed the exact same, if not worse, crime as myself.

Martin: Well, we are thick as thieves.

Jon, groaning: You're thick as something alright

Martin: Rude! My beloved husband-

Jon: -uh huh-

Martin: whom I love and trust with my most tender of hearts-

Jon: -an oddly cannibalistic turn of phrase-

Martin, badly suppressing laughter: Oh, my god. I want a divorce, then I can put tofu in as many dishes as I like. I'll triple my protein intake.

Jon: It'd never go through. I'll burn the papers. No, wait, I'll burn down the legal offices where the papers are kept.

Martin: Hmm. While my experiences with it have been, uh, varied to say the least, I do have to admit that arson is one of the more attractive crimes of passion. I suppose I'll take you back.

Jon, flat: I'm so very grateful.

Jon, genuine: You do have yet to actually tell me why you think tofu is wonderful, love.

Martin: It's just a good food! It's neutral enough that you can toss it in pretty much anything with a sauce, you can bake it, you can fry it, whatever. Plus it's what? two? Three quid? I spent many years of my life living off the cheapest, saltiest approximation of noodles you could imagine, and half a pack of tofu, a little bit of sesame oil, and some green onions went a long way to both making it more filling and less sad.

Martin: Plus, I feel like it often gets decried for being something it's not? It's so often viewed as a meat substitute or the vegan alternative option, and so when people try it, they often go in with a false preconceived notion of what it's going to be like, and then end up disappointed. They're all like, 'ugh, this doesn't taste like turkey!' and yeah, of course it doesn't. It's the oatmeal raisin cookie of the protein world, a perfectly good and tasty treat on its own, but if you want chocolate chip, it's not gonna work.

Jon: Martin you don't even like oatmeal raisin. I'm the only one that ever eats them out of the multipacks.

Martin: Well, yeah, but I don't like oatmeal raisin because of its flavor, not because I think it should be chocolate chip and fails. It illustrates my point. Also, just for balance, is your next small wonder oatmeal raisin cookies?

Jon: No, though, maybe one of these weeks. They are good. But no, um, my next small wonder is being married.

Martin, let out a high bark of a laugh: Being married is a small wonder?!

Jon: Small wonders doesn't mean a lack of importance! Or even significance in our lives. Half the time we even end up spending just as much time chattering on about them as the things we actually research. But, yes, I didn't feel like researching the concept of being married. For one, a lot of the history of it is depressing and patriarchal, and for two, it's not something I really feel any need to elaborate on. Being married. I very much enjoy it. I recommend it for anybody that's found someone that they want to marry, and who wants to marry them. I really recommend being married to Martin Blackwood, I think I would enjoy it significantly less if it was to anybody else, but one: we typically try to make the wonderful things in this show applicable to more than just ourselves, and two: I got there first, so I believe the appropriate thing to say here would be; neener neener and/or everyone else can go suck it, Ollie.

Martin: Well...

Jon: Well, what?

Martin: Saying you got there first is technically not true-

Jon: What?!

Martin, laughing like a bastard: Sorry, sorry! Couldn't resist! Jon, you already know that you're my first real realationship, how would be married before fit that?

Jon: Hence my surprise at the notion! I cannot believe you! I give you my trust, my earnestness, and belief-

Martin [only laughs harder]

Jon: and you throw it in my face for a bit. I take back everything, being married is a nightmare, because sometimes your partner thinks he a fucking comedian and you just have to put up with him because you love him and want to live the rest of your life with him or some such nonsense. Not worth it, if you ask me. My turn to ask for the divorce.

Martin: Babe, hate to break it to you, but both of us are guilty of doing bits that the other doesn't like, it's an integral part of a healthy marriage, and secondly, you knew who I was long before I proposed. You should've said no when you had the chance.

Jon: Hang on, you proposed?

Martin: Yeah? This isn't part of a bit, of course I proposed. I'm even pretty sure you were there. The whole visit back to Scotland trip? I finally made you a sweater and said it was because we would now be immune to the boyfriend curse?

Jon: No, no, I remember all that, but it wasn't the proposal. It was a reaffirmation of the proposal. We had already decided to get married.

Martin: Well, yeah,, I wasn't just gonna spring that on you, we had had conversations beforehand-

Jon: No, I mean, I had already proposed. I asked you to marry me a good three years earlier, and you said yes, which is a proposal by any definition that I know.

Martin: Jon, love, darling, apple of my eye, fire of my soul, I mean this in the nicest way possible, what the everloving fuck are you talking about?

Jon: In the ambulance ride when we, uh, moved here. It was the thing I said to you the second I saw your eyes were open.

[An audible pause is left in the recording.]

Martin: That does not count.

Jon: How does it not count?! I asked you to marry me, you very emphatically said yes, that's the de facto definition of an accepted marriage proposal!

Martin: It doesn't count because you were half-delirious with blood-loss, and I had a traumatic brain injury that the hospital was very surprised I made a full recovery from. No court in the world would consider anything we said then more than pain driven ramblings, let alone, I dunno, contractually binding.

Jon: Well, I knew what I was saying well and clear. Just because it was desperate doesn't mean it wasn't sincere. I didn't realize that you weren't as cognizant when you accepted.

Martin, snorting: Yeah, didn't really need to be cognizant to say yes. I've wanted to marry you since the train ride to Scotland.

Jon: Wait, really? Martin, we hadn't even been on a date.

Martin: And yet we were on the lamb together, which I honestly think is more romantic than sitting in some restaurant somewhere trying to get through icebreakers. Also, back up, from your perspective we've been engaged since 2019? What did you think we were doing in the interim?

Jon: Uhh..

Martin: Yes?

Jon: There are people that have long engagement periods, and it's not exactly like we were in any sort of position to get married for awhile. Especially not that first year.

Martin: Okay? And?

Jon: And..I sort of thought you had changed your mind. For awhile. Was rather surprised that you kept living with me, considering that, on the worst nights, I was convinced you were going to storm off and leave me forever any minute now. Hence why your proposal was rather relieving.

Martin: Oh, Jon, love. That is so very ridiculous, and so very you, and so very close to many of my own fears and doubts. Do you have any idea how terrified I was to float the idea of marriage to you? Half the time I was convinced I was just meant to keep you company until you found someone better. And, Christ, we'd, from your perspective, been engaged the whole damn time. Fuck.

[Jon, after a beat, starts laughing. It has a slightly hysterical edge to it. Martin joins in. It takes a minute for the laughter to subside enough for them to speak again.]

Jon: I'm rapidly realizing that our entire romantic relationship would've been, if not more successful, a hell of a lot faster if we weren't both complete fools.

Martin: You're realizing that now? I think I've known that since the CV incident. I've definitely known it since the Lonely.

Jon, with a slightly tired chuckle:Yes, yes, something probably should've tipped me off earlier. Shockingly, observation of our own personal romantic trends is not always a strong suit of mine.

Jon: Anyway, please tell me you have another small wonder, this has gotten wildly of track.

Martin: Since we're talking about marriage anyway, I think my next small wonder is having a shared reference in your wedding vows. Our friends had "I have been, and always shall be, your friend" in theirs, and I made Jon cry with a slightly altered Lord of the Rings quote in ours.

Jon: First off, we were both openly weeping long before that point, secondly, I defy anybody to have been through half of what we have and then have the love of their life look them in the eyes and tell them "Leave you? I never intend to. I am going with you, if you climb to the moon" without at least tearing up.

Martin: There wasn't a dry eye in the audience, either. Granted, the audience was only 20 people, but that was also literally the only time I've seen Eloise show a strong emotion, so I'm pretty smug about it.

Martin, soft: I still feel exactly the same, you know. If you're climbing to the moon, I'll make sure the rope is strong enough for two.

Jon, soft: I know, love.

Jon: Though, to be fair, the moon is also significantly more pleasant than many places we've been.

Martin: God, I hate how much that's true. Look at this barren, oxygenless rock, at least it's not actively trying to kill us. Practically a honeymoon location.

[Martin sighs]

Martin: I am so tired. Let's do the user submissions then take a very long nap.

Jon: Please.

Martin: So, first submission is from Josie; They find it wonderful getting cards from their friends. They say they're lucky to have so much love in their life and have friends that care enough to send them things. That is wonderful Josie! We have a drawer in our house dedicated to every loving card we've ever received since the move, and they're always such a nice reminder of the people in our lives.

Jon: We should really organize that drawer, but, yes, agree with the sentiment. Even the cards from people that are no longer in our lives are lovely, I think. Those connections are very much meaningful for both of us, whether they're active or not.

Martin: That's very true. Next submission is from Lys, who submits the sound of leaves crunching under your feet in the fall. Ah, that's a classic.

Jon: I just felt myself relax imagining it. I wish it was autumn.

Martin: Don't we all? Alright, for the last submissions, I'm grouping them together as they follow a similar theme. Jadwiga submits the feeling of waking up well into the morning with the sun shining through the window and your cat laying next to you, and Oran submits when a dog falls asleep with its head in your lap.

Jon: I can heartily recommend at least one of those, considering that's how we try to wake up most mornings. The Duchess is a dutiful darling girl who spends every night with us, and she's usually still there when us humans rise.

Martin: I bet you'll agree with the other when I finally convince you to get me a dog for my birthday.

Jon: It hasn't happened yet, so I wouldn't hold your breath.

Martin: But you don't even dislike dogs! You're just as happy to pet them when they pass by as I am.

Jon: Being fine with an animal isn't the same thing as wanting to adopt one for yourself! We don't even know if The Duchess would put up with a dog.

Martin: I bet she would. I bet we could get a big senior dog who's the calmest animal you've ever met with those soft eyes and a little grey on the muzzle and she would cuddle up in an instant. And we did say we should visit a shelter or three this weekend..

Jon: I think you're rather callously taking advantage of my exhausted state, but I suppose we can look.

Martin: Hell fuckin yeah. So, I think that'll close out the episode, and as we always say at the end, uh, go take a nap and get a dog. Not necessarily in that order.

#wonderful! au #jonmartin #tma #jon sims #martin blackwood #my fic #thank you to everyone that submitted!!!#also; i am offically out of ideas for installments #more may come later but i make no promises!

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funkymbtifiction · 4 years ago

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https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work

Although it isn’t, I could swear this was written by me. I deeply relate to these issues and the descripted anxiety and paralysis when it comes to these “adult” tasks. Do you think it’s merely a generational problem or are these traits related to MBTI?

(I’m not a psychologist, so take everything I say at the end with a grain of salt. I love to read and think and ‘fix’ things, so I have lots of thoughts about this.)

This phenomenon is something I have thought about and discussed, whenever I heard accusations against millennials. The short answer is there’s no particular MBTI type that causes this feeling of inadequacy by comparison, but I would say social dominants and Enneagram 3s suffer from it the worst (I suspect the person who wrote the article is a social 3, since the emphasis is all on success, achievement, paying attention to their social media feeds, and trying to compete on that level).

There’s a lot to unpack in that article, so I’ll just hit a couple of things – the tendency to avoid unnecessary, small, unpleasant tasks is a simple lack of motivation, follow through, and even a level of personal irresponsibility. It’s also a facet of not possessing self-love, because a person should do unpleasant or boring things out of self-love (because doing this now will reduce the guilt and anxiety of leaving that package on the table for the next six months, because I am a person who keeps their commitments, because this thing simply needs doing, and it doesn’t matter if it’s boring or tedious or not). If you do something immediately, you no longer have to think about it, or feel anxiety about doing it. Rip the band-aid off and do the boring “adult” stuff, so it’s no longer looming over you.It doesn’t matter what you feel like doing. Just do it.

Okay, as to the entire mindset of the millennial generation… it comes from a lot of things. Parents that made a great deal of money gave the next generation expectations above and beyond what is feasible. The brutal truth is, most of our parents did not live in a five room house when they were 20, they had a crappy little apartment and barely made the rent. Yet for some reason we expect to get out of college, find a job that pays a hundred thousand a year, and buy that house—whether we can afford it or not. Things cost way more for us than they did for our parents, also—instead of 6 grand for a house, it’s 300,000 grand.

There is enormous social pressure to attend college, even though most jobs do not require it; this means the value of a degree is less, because everyone and their cousin now have the same degree. It used to be that trade schools were more the norm, or that you simply grew up working in your father’s business and assumed you were going to take it over from him at some point. Only a few people with specific ambitions went to college for a short amount of time, with an end result in mind, and it, again, cost less because fewer people were attending and driving up the prices. College is an extremely expensive place to “find out what you want to do,” instead of already knowing what you are going to do, and getting an education IF it is necessary for your career. (For the record, you can often get higher paying job obtaining trade skills such as working as an electrician or a plumber, with less cost and way less debt.) So most millennials come out of college with a hundred grand in student loan debts. They assume, because they grew up in a society that told them how special they were, that they can get an amazing job and make all this money and pay back their loans and buy that enormous house—but they are all competing for the same job everyone else wants.

Or they were raised thinking they were special, so the rules do not apply to them, and that their feelings matter. In a nutshell: they do not matter. Your boss will not care if you felt like coming to work or not. You will come in and do what you are paid to do, or you will get fired. It doesn’t matter if you feel like cleaning the cat box or not. You need to clean it, because your cat deserves a better life. It doesn’t matter if you feel like exercising or not. If you do not do it, you will gain weight and face a health problem later in life. Adulting is learning to do the things that need done, whether or not you feel like doing them.

Now, let’s think about the social networking component, because it is an enormous contributor to “the problem” this generation faces. Back before college became the norm, and before the internet was accessible to everyone, society on the whole lived a much smaller life. You grew up, you dated someone from high school, you worked weekends in a local store or business, you got a more permanent job, you got married. It was a no-brainer, because everyone did it, most people knew each other, and socializing was done in person, rather than online, through community gatherings, church groups, BBQ’s, and town events. You weren’t aware of all the things you “should” be doing, or could “own” or even the fun other people were having, and as a result, people did not over-think as much. The internet has opened up a thousand options and the millennial thinks they should carefully consider all of them, because they do not want to make the same ugly mistakes their parents made.

Most of their parents have had multiple marriages and maybe even several sets of kids with different partners. They experienced what all young people do—periods of debt and poverty. But they “lived” life, and the millennial is “not” living life—they are more cautious, more fearful of making a life-shattering mistake, and more fearful of experiencing pain, suffering, and loss of the lifestyle that many of them were privileged to have, which was comfort. Their parents provided everything they needed, and got them used to a certain standard of living, which raised their expectations about what they must earn to match it. Going without is not possible in their mind; they have to achieve more than their parents, at a younger age. But… instead of the 5 options their parents have, the millennial has 10,000. Who should I date and marry? Well, it could be the person next door… but what if I’m missing someone BETTER? Should I try online dating? Swipe through 8,000 people? How do I decide? Where should I get a job? Who should I work for? Should it be in this state or somewhere else? Can I find a job that pays me a lot but doesn’t eat up all my free time so I can have fun? Or will I feel trapped??

Less is more, and all our society has, is more – too many choices lead to what psychologists call “choice paralysis.” The point where someone doesn’t know what to choose, so they choose nothing. It can be as simple as deciding you want to watch something, logging on to Netflix, and seeing 250 possibilities, being unable to decide, and turning it off… or not knowing which of the 60 people to respond to on the dating site… or which of the 20 degrees you want… which causes people to shut down completely and avoid decisions altogether.

Faced with too high of and unreasonable expectations of their own self-importance and worth (brought on by the “everyone is a winner” culture), unfeasible standards that are much too lofty for partners (we don’t know how to just choose a person and tolerate their flaws, we want the RIGHT person, so we keep on looking endlessly at times, and don’t want to settle, leading millennials to being the generation who isn’t getting married young), incredible debt tied to college degrees and expenses, and choice paralysis on everything from our pizza toppings to Big Life Decisions… is it any wonder that we (I am one of you, just barely; I’m a bit older than most of you) don’t do anything?

There is a solution to this problem, though. Minimize your life. Make it real instead of abstract. Stop living it in your head, and do it in your body. How? Minimize your choices. Practice making them. Do the thing you don’t want to do, first, to teach yourself responsibility. Make your world smaller. Consider a smaller life with more freedom and free time in it. Cut social media down considerably. If Facebook tracking you, hording your information, and making a “file” on you troubles you, pull the plug. You are not missing anything. Consider what works better—an impersonal tweet or a conversation with a person in the flesh. Start by making small decisions, and lead into bigger ones. Learn to lower your expectation and set realistic ones. The odds are, the person you pick to be with isn’t any better or worse than if you tried out 50 other people. Living in a tiny apartment for 6 years is nothing to feel ashamed about, it’s how MOST PEOPLE start their life. Cut the things out of your schedule that you do not need, and focus on what matters. Family time should not be on your “to do” list. Watch Dave Ramsey videos on YouTube to learn how to budget your money. Get rid of the social media account that make you feel envious, or like your life should be “more” than it is. Most of the time, life is just life. It has tooth aches, bad tuna sandwiches, flat tires, and Christmases that aren’t as magical as you wanted them to be, and that’s… life. If you can’t tell the difference between Instagram “I took this photo 70 times to impress you and then airbrushed it” and “real life,” get rid of it altogether.

A lot of this anxiety and paralysis, we bring on ourselves. But we can also choose to do something good for ourselves, and … make decisions. Small ones that can lead to big changes.

#question #mbti #self help #self worth #love yourself #millenials #submission

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seyaryminamoto · 6 years ago

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Hey Seyary!!=)

It’s up to you if you want to answer this in private (or answer at all) or if you want to publish. As someone who writes a lot, do you believe in true, pure and real love?? Do you believe in loyality?? This is just me thinking too much as always…

Well, I believe it’s possible, but I also believe it’s more complicated than what we often see in fiction, for instance. People are complex, their interests can change over time, and some people are more suited for committed, long-lasting love than others.

Finding the “right” person isn’t a walk on the park, and so often life will throw you all the wrong people instead. Sometimes we give the wrong people a chance, no matter if we know they’re not what we need, no matter if we know they’re not what we want for the future. Then heartbreak happens, on one side or the other, who knows if even on both, because the match wasn’t good and it wasn’t bound to get better unless you both worked hard to make it so.

It’s clearly much easier to create perfect love in fiction, to build two characters into being ideal matches for each other. In real life it generally doesn’t work that way: you can find people who are perfect for you in some ways, but profoundly imperfect in others. In the end, finding the exact thing you’re looking for isn’t going to be easy.

But I guess something I’ve also thought for a long time is that sometimes we need to be more reflective on themselves, too: are we the kind of people others are looking for? Are we expecting too much, or too little, from a partner? Are we waiting for the first sign of a flaw to latch onto, just so we can destroy a relationship before it can really begin? Are we afraid of love, or of lasting relationships, because we’re afraid of being hurt? Are our quirks and flaws stuff that other people could consider complete dealbreakers?

On the other hand, if the other person can’t respect your limits, your beliefs, your needs, but expects you to respect theirs, are you supposed to obey blindly? If the other person never gives you the respect you deserve, are you going to accept that? If the other person tricked you into believing they were perfect, but upon further reflection, you realized they weren’t, are you supposed to stay in that kind of relationship?

I guess the problem with love is that it’s a two-way street and not everyone remembers that, from what I’ve seen. You may be the perfect person for someone else, but that someone else could easily not be what you’re looking for, or what you need. Likewise, upon finding someone who’s perfect for you, you may not be exactly what they’re looking for either.

My point is... sometimes we expect too much. Sometimes we raise the bar extremely high, and that’s why no one will ever reach it. Sometimes other people are good, they’re agreeable, they’re nice, just as they are... but we want more. And when that happens, we turn our backs on something good because we’re looking for what’s better. That leads to all those “what could have been” scenarios, the doubts about having broken off a relationship because it’s the best you could’ve had, and so on and so forth...

I’m not going to tell you that you should “settle” for someone you’re not sure of, of course not. But finding someone who respects you for who you are is going to be possible not only if you find someone who’s good-hearted and respectful, but it’ll also happen if you’re willing to give them a chance to be part of your life. Will it be the love of your life, will you find the greatest romance in humanity? It’s impossible to say. Like I said above, people change and evolve, and when they do, the feelings they elicit in others can change and evolve as well. A relationship that felt right when you were younger can feel a lot less stable once you’re older.

So, what’s true loyalty, in the face of all this? It’s not simply about never looking at other people, and being physically and emotionally faithful to someone for your entire lifetime. True loyalty towards another person isn’t simply commitment, it’s not just becoming someone’s romantic partner... true loyalty between friends is just as valuable as true loyalty between romantic partners. Between friends it really means you and your friend can count on each other, no matter the distance, no matter the time you spend apart, because you’re there for one another, in the good and the bad. It doesn’t mean the other person can’t have other friends, of course they can, and so can you: true loyalty isn’t about limiting your world to one person, but about knowing your world is so much wider than that, yet that bond between yourself and this particular person is special, valuable, and it’s something you’ll protect for as long as you live. Whatever quality of the bond, like I said, is irrelevant: you can be as loyal to a relative as you can to a friend, as you can to a romantic partner.

If the matter you’re wondering is whether people can actually be loyal to each other in all regards, I believe so. But that’s where you need to really understand the other person when it comes to choosing to let them be part of your life: if you see someone who’s disrespectful to others, even if they’re good to you, you shouldn’t assume that they’ll always been good and never disrespect you. There was a pretty bad conflict in my family recently, and I don’t want to get into the details of it, but it basically confirmed to me that if your partner won’t even treat their own family right, you should never expect them to treat yours any better.

There are always signs when someone’s not good news. There’s always reasons to stop and reconsider your attachment to someone who’s acting out in ways you can’t agree with or accept. And the other person can also see these signs and reasons on you: if we’re conflictive, chaotic, dismissive of other people’s problems and feelings, there’s a pretty strong chance we’ll alienate anyone who cared about us in any way.

There are bound to be many ways to protect yourself from bad relationships, I’d say chief amongst them is not jumping in irrationally with every eligible person you meet. Get to know them platonically first, as much as you can, before coming to any serious conclusions about them. If what you’re looking for is genuine, absolute loyalty, I advise you to not expect it from just anyone. Not everyone wants to be loyal to a single person all their lives, as much as some of us would prefer that. And getting to know someone else fully ought to be the ideal way to figure out whether they’ll be capable of that sort of loyalty or not.

Like I’ve said above, even that is dangerous, since people can change a lot and there’s no evidence that someone who’s loyal in their early 20′s will continue to exhibit the same amount of loyalty forevermore. Just keep in mind that other people are complex, that not all of us are the same, and that sometimes we need to adapt to other people, flaws and all, if we’re looking for the right partner.

I’m hardly an expert in this, in any of it, really... but I guess my parents can serve as a pretty good example on romantic loyalty to a partner. They’ve been married for well over 30 years, and I’m not going to lie and say they’re never arguing and that they get along perfectly well... nah. They have a lot of spats, usually about dumb things, but they have them anyhow. Theirs isn’t a relationship without problems, but they exhibit the loyalty I talked about above: my mom has ten thousand friends or so, my dad is more of a loner, with a few close friends, and yet the most important relationship in their lives is the one they have with each other. Whatever faults and flaws, they’ve learned how to work through them little by little, not by idealizing each other but rather, by humanizing each other and understanding that neither of them is perfect, but that they’d never want to spend their lives with anyone else if they had the chance.

So yeah, beyond fiction, I’d hold them as an example on true love and true loyalty. My dad’s side of the family has had no shortage of infidelity dramas... but never him. He’s always been loyal to my mom, and she to him. Their values aligned, their own parents had very devoted and loyal relationships with each other, and that’s how they were raised into being as they are now. They’re not the norm, of course, and it’s far from common to build a love like that... but it’s not impossible. Difficult, yes, but not impossible.

And that’s, I guess, the last thing I’ll say: this sort of loyalty and these sorts of relationships don’t come with zero effort. You don’t just find the right person and everything works wonders from there onwards. Conflicts, problems, personality clashes, all of it is part of a relationship anyhow. It’s up to a person and their partner to determine how they’ll deal with those conflicts and problems, and if they’ll hold those issues as more important than the love they’ve developed for each other.

So... find someone with similar values to yours, someone who wants a relationship like what you’re looking for. Be aware of the best and the worst of this person before reaching any conclusions about them. If you decide this is what you were looking for, don’t remain complacent and don’t expect it to be smooth sailing: you both have to work to keep that relationship alive by whatever means possible, and that means you’ll surely grow together quite a bit before you can find complete stability as a couple.

And that got very long, as usual. I hope that helps somewhat!

#kigozula #submission #got long as usual #oops

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fyeahbatcat · 7 years ago

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I know you said you wouldn't say anything about this new arc where even though both Bruce and Diana have their partners they'll be almost forced to be together BUT PLEASE I NEED THE ANGER BC I'M WAY TOO PISSED WITH THIS SHIT

This is the one and only time I’m going to break my most sacred and cardinal rule.

ffs the man is ENGAGED and Diana has her own serious relationship. Can you even conceive how disrespectful that is to their partners? No one would ever decide to have Superman, who is married and has a child, or Scott Free flirt around. It’s like saying because neither couples have a fictional piece of paper to “legitimize” their relationships it’s okay because those relationships aren’t as valid. They are valid. All loving and committed relationships are valid and deserving of respect.

I have a really strict rule about not talking about other ships on here for a lot of reasons; one being that no matter what I’m saying it’s just going to be seen as a ship thing, but it’s not just a ship thing; tbh I don’t care who ships who I’m just trying to have a good time. But this goes so far beyond a ship thing.

Sharp tried to cycle back on twitter yesterday, because a lot of Wonder Woman (not wonderbat but Wonder Woman) fans were upset about it, so what will actually occur in the book is likely to be very, very minor but Justice League is coming out so it’s time to pander to the wonderbat crowd. Sharp has sworn up and down that Diana is with Steve, but also made totally disingenuous comments about how writers try to please everyone (they don’t and never have) and false equivalences about crackships.

If that were true how come I haven’t seen one alternate reality featuring Superman and Batman as lovers? That is neither here nor there because this story is not an alternate reality.

It’s a blatant example of how Diana is shuffled from one ship to the next depending on what DC’s currently trying to capitalize off of. Remember when Wonder Woman was coming out and wondertrev was brought back from the dead after like 30 years and there were dolls and merchandise around them and Steve even got his own one-shot? Well it’s five months later and DC has a new movie to promote. Not to say that I don’t adore wondertrev, because I do. Just pointing out that DC didn’t care about the ship until they saw an opportunity to make money off of it.

Misogyny is always at the root of either relationships. It can’t be accomplished without eliminating or diminishing important female characters like Lois Lane and Catwoman (and to a lesser extent Steve Trevor who is an important representation of gender role reversal). Being in a relationship with either Batman or Superman always requires that Wonder Woman sacrifice too much or herself and what she means, and I expect someone who admires Greg Rucka as much as Sharp claims to to understand that. It’s never about her or her story; it’s always about enhancing their story which is why when it does happen Wonder Woman loses her feminist message, becomes Batman or Superman’s sexy sidekick, gets fridged, and we end up with misogynistic garbage like this:

This was licensed. Even within the fandom it’s all about the men (“Bruce/Clark wants”, “Bruce/Clark needs”, “Bruce/Clark deserves”). Just the other day I was forced to see this:

So Diana is what…just a reward for Bruce’s heroism? Not one wonderbat shipper stepped in to call this blatant misogyny out. I’ve been in this fandom for over ten years and not once has anyone bothered to explain what they have to offer her in a relationship. It’s always about Diana’s light curing Bruce’s darkness, or Clark needing someone who’s as physically strong as him to identify with. If I’m going to be as honest as I’ve ever been I find the idea that Batman has anything of substance to benefit Diana in a relationship laughable. That and they have absolutely nothing in common, but that’s just my opinion.

Not only that but it interferes with the messaging of every character involved. Wonder Woman and Superman are supposed to be powerful outsiders who identify with and defend humanity because of the human people around them. When they get together it’s because they feel like no one understands them. It’s like they’re above us instead of on our level. Also Superman is canonically said to be the only one stronger than Wonder Woman, which guts everything she’s supposed to represent in terms of the rejection of patriarchal gender norms.

While Batman and Wonder Woman do a little better in terms of power structures, Batman is still the most overexposed male character in the entire DCU (I love him but he does not need as many titles as he currently has). Wonder Woman often gets treated as a supporting characters instead of her own hero, as do many characters born from the bat-books. Wonder Woman has been no exception.

To be honest I think a lot of these writers use the characters to live out their male power fantasies of being cool Lothario Batman who has sex with every hot female character. Yeah everyone has a ship and that’s fine, but Wonder Woman is too important of a character to become a cool thing for Batman or Superman to have. Her story and who she is is more important than a misogynistic ship and needs to take precedence. She deserves to have a love interest that’s there specifically for her and her story and the people who look to the Wonder Woman books for stories of feminine strength, intersectional feminism, and sisterhood are the ones who should be pandered to.

It is because of this and other longstanding mistreatment of Wonder Woman in the comics that I’ve decided I will no longer read Wonder Woman comics written by men who aren’t Greg Rucka. Maybe one day one will come along to earn my trust, but they don’t have a good track record with her and she’s in desperate need of some tlc.

I think that’s all I’ve got to say on the matter and I’ve been holding this back for a very, very, very, long time. I look forward to blocking all of you salty anti-shippers :)

#ask #anonymous #personal note

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crazyopinionatedwriterchick · 7 years ago

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In Defense of Rhaegar Targaryen (Revisted)

At the risk of being public crucified online again. I am going to revise and revist some of my points from my earlier argument. I posted a rough draft of a meta yesterday morning on my way to work without realizing that it would cause this much controversy. It was brought to my attention that the post came off as Misogynistic and racist. This was not at all my intention.

My intention was to rebuttal the people in the Rhaegar Targaryen tag who were dragging him for something that, yes he had a hand in causing but was not at all his plan to cause. He was being dragged for (In my opinion) falling love with someone else. Like really dragged. Like through the bushes, across Yankee stadium and down Times Square only to be hung in Central Park kind of dragged. I wanted to defend him. I could see where he was coming from but didn’t get my point across well. So we are going to give it a second try, now that I’ve been given some constructive criticism (Thank- You @sprinkles36)

First and foremost lets look at what we know about Rhaegar Targaryen. He is portrayed as accomplished, intelligent, talented, and attractive young man who was well respected and commanded loyalty of most everyone who knew him. However a dark cloud of melancholy and doom clearly hung over him all the days of his life. He seemed wounded according to Cersei and Grief stricken according to Jaime. Yet, he was also described as “Able. That above all, determined, deliberate, dutiful and singleminded.’ These are the most important of his traits to me. Lets define them

Able: Having considerable skill, proficiency or intelligence

Determined: Processing or displaying resolve

Deliberate: Done consciously or intentionally

Dutiful: conscientiously or obediently fulfilling one’s duty. Also, motivated by duty rather than desire of enthusiasm

Singleminded: Having or concentrating on only one aim or purpose.

So Rhaegar was skilled, resolute, conscious of his decisions, faithful to the vows he made, and committed. So what made this Paragon of Princeliness act so impulsively and risk everything (The future of his house, his Throne, his children, his country) by annulling his marriage to Elia and marrying Lyanna?

This is the question i was left with at the end of the episode. The only answer I could come up with was this, it’s a two part answer, a 30/70 split if you will. 30% Prophecy and 70% He fell in love with Lyanna Stark.

Prophecy

It is well documented that Rhaegar firmly believed in the prophecy of the Prince that was Promised/Azor Ahai. It’s the reason he became a great warrior, the main point of his conversations with Maester Aemon Targayen, it was a big part of his life. Understandably so, considering the circumstances of his birth. Born during the great fire at Summerhall, The tragedy and darkness seemed to cling to Rhaegar his whole life a chip on his shoulders. Perhaps part of him always believed that the world was headed toward doom and destruction and this colored his view of wanting to save the future and the belief that he was The Prince that was Promised. Realizing that being the Prince was not his destiny he placed the burden of its fulfillment on his children.

Rhaegar: The Dragon has three heads, there must be one more.

While at the same time dealing with a father whose mental health and acuity is ever decreasing.

Sidenote: Nowhere is it mentioned that the third head had had to be a female by the prophecy or by Rhaegar. Nor is it mentioned that her name was to be Visenya, If he were trying to replicate Aegon the Conqueror and his sisters, he would have named his Eldest daughter Visenya. As Visenya Targaryen was older then Aegon the Conqueror and their sister Rhaenys.

Son of The Mad King

Aerys was at this point in time the greatest threat to the continuation of the Targayen’s rule of Westeros. Falling deeper into insanity and growing more and more paranoid with each passing day. His continued rule of Westeros would have seen rebellion against Targaryen rule one way or the other.

Barrister Selmy: At First Rhaegar didn’t want to believe that his father was incapable to rule, but in the end even he saw that this was true.

So now Rhaegar is given the heavy burden of what to do with his father, who if left to continue as King would bring the Red Keep crashing down around them all. How to act against a paranoid man who already believes you are plotting against him? How to depose your father who you still love without him going completely off his rocker? Gather the great Lords of Westeros to format a plan.

This leads him to the the Tourney at Harrenhaal and the events that follow (The Knight of the Laughing Tree, Joust with Barristan Selmy, Queen of Love and Beauty) lead him to Lyanna.

Thus comes the conundrum of the series . Why annul your marriage? Effectively abandon you kingdom and people when they need you the most? Piss off the only ally you have (Dorne) and put your family and future at risk?

Well first off let’s look at the other two parts of the equation:

Rhaegar’s Women

Elia Martell is portrayed as beautiful but sickly woman and due to that is often portrayed as the sad abandoned damsel. But being sickly and being compliant are two very different things. My point is that her being viewed as sickly often affects the way her personality is viewed, she is viewed as naive docile and ultimately victimized. I know, I know Rhaegar passed her over, threw her aside, she was left to fend for herself against Aerys and everyone views it as a major slight against her, against Dorne. So where is her outrage? Surely if she felt put aside or disrespected she would say so perhaps not at court but to her brothers. Who would no doubt welcome her back to Dorne with open arms and even stew in her anger with her. Yet she stayed, and not only did she stay but she gave Rhaegar another child. Curious. Perhaps she stayed for her children? Perhaps she stayed because she truly loved Rhaegar? who knows, its always been one of things that has always irked me about Elia’s character. Why stay? But nonetheless she did stay and that he survived as long as she did is a testament to her cunning, diplomacy, and strength as a woman. But would we expect less from a Martell of Dorne. A country known to produce fierce independent women.

As @sprinkles36 described it Elia is a brown woman who managed to survive in a court far from home. Where Misogyny and Racism were rampant with a mad king who was paranoid and suspicious

It is clear that Elia is not the naive, hapless girl most of the world thought she was. Oberyn describes her perfectly from the quote below:

Oberyn: In Dorne, she walked among vipers and none would bite her.

All this being said it is widely known throughout the fandom and books and show that Elia and Rhaegar’s marriage although happy enough was arranged. Neither of them choose to marry the other, it was chosen for them and for a while they seemed to make the best of it. Their marriage was shown as better than the one between Rhaegar’s parents, but Rhaegar was not depicted as being in love with Elia. He was fond of her. He cared for her as a human being and the mother of his child(ren). Not much else is said on the matter really nothing from Elia’s perspective. Rhaegar is depicted to be a good father, loving and caring. When Rhaenys was killed she was found hiding under her father’s bed. She clearly found comfort in some way being close to him in a time of fear. So what we have is Rhaegar and Elia fulfilling their duty in their marriage while not being in love. Not once is it mentioned that Rhaegar cheated, beated, or mistreated her in their marriage prior to the Tourney. Even Ned is quoted as thinking that Rhaegar never visited brothels. So what changed? What was it about Lyanna Stark that was different?

Lyanna Stark the She-wolf of Winterfell is described as willful and beautiful, with a strong sense of honor and kindness, courageous and fierce to boot. A girl who took up arms against a group of squires who were bullying one of her father’s men.Then took on the Knights of those squires and handed them their asses demanding the Knights teach their squire some respect. It’s easy to believe he would be attracted to and admire her. Lyanna who was not enchanted with the idea of marrying Robert Baratheon, Who cried when Rhaegar sang his song with implies some feeling for him. Rhaegar who very likely kept her from being exposed as the Knight of the Laughing tree and very possibly killed by Aerys, but who was in such admiration of her fierceness and kindness crowned her Queen of Love and Beauty in his own secret acknowledgement of her courage and skill as a warrior. The spark had been lit but still he remained faithful and dutiful to his position and his wife. Why would he stay with Elia after meeting Lyanna if he’s a selfish fuckboyjust looking for a good role in the Hay?

Sidenote: Lyanna was 14 at the time of these events. Rhaegar was in his early to mid twenties. The age difference was not a deterrent and would not have mattered even if they hadn’t eloped. This is a pseudo medieval society, you cannot apply modern ways of thinking or values to their customs and practices because they will always come up wanting. In Medieval times the marriage age of women was twelve years old. At that time period a 14 year old girl and a man in his early/mid twenties being married was the norm , consummating the marriage around the age of 14/15 was custom as well. In Westeros I believe the age of adulthood is 16 and a girl can be married off once she has flowered so 12/13 maybe. Also keep in mind Lyanna was betrothed to Robert, you honestly think he was going to wait a couple of years for her to fully develop and understand her own mind once they were married before he would have her? I don’t think so.

Fuckboy or Fool in Love?:

I guess that depends how you define the Fuckboy term. Dictionary defines it as a male who is constantly seeking Romance and/or sexual congress with women. This is most definitely not Rhaegar, Until Lyanna not once is it mentioned that Rhaegar cheated on Elia or was anything but a loyal and faithful husband. Even Ned who had every right to think badly of him didn’t believe he frequented brothels. You know who was a fuckboy: Robert “Hoe life till I die” Baratheon, but that’s off topic. It was a year between the Tourney and the disappearance of Rhaeghar and Lyanna together to Dorne. Why wait so long if it was simply about prophecy or lust? Why wait if Rhaeghar is simply selfish and uncaring about consequences of his actions? The only reason to wait is because he cared about Elia and his children, how it would affect them. It must have been agonizing for someone who was always viewed as dutiful and honorable to come to the decision to annul his marriage. To discard his wife and supposedly make his children illegitimate. I’m not too sure on this assumption because the stance of children from an annulled marriage is that the annulled marriage has no bearing on the legitimacy of the children born while the marriage was still valid, but that’s the real world, I don’t know if it’s the same in Westeros. Is that a shitty thing to do to a person? Yeah, it is. Does that somehow take everything we know that is good and honorable about Rhaegar and make it invalid? No. We don’t know what his intentions were at this time besides the bare boned facts.

We know Nothing

Much like Jon we the viewers, readers, etc. know next to nothing when it comes to what was suppose to happen in Rhaegar’s mind after he left Elia and married Lyanna and in some ways neither did Rhaegar. Had he known Brandon Stark would have reacted like the hothead rash idiot he was, demanding Lyanna’s return and effectively threatening Rhaegar to the Mad King’s face.If he’d known the depth with Aerys insanity had fallen to the point that he would even dare consider killingl The Warden of the North and his heir, while also demanding Ned be delivered to King’s Landing and his death as well he probably wouldn’t have gone about marrying her in that way.

Sidenote: It would have been a lot harder for Rhaegar to convince the High Septon to grant him clemency to take two wives than it would have been for The high Septon to grant him an annulment. The faith of the seven was firmly against practicing polygamy and the last Targaryen who has practiced the custom was Aegon IV that was well over a hundred years prior to Rhaegar’s certain circumstance. The Targaryen’s practiced the faith of the seven, As did most of Westeros. As many kings in history will tell you as goes what the church deems acceptable, so goes what world deems acceptable. Annulling his marriage would have been seen as the lesser of two evils. Better to have one part of the country pissed at you than a good chunk of the country and the dominant religious church.

The true spark of the Rebellion

While it is generally believed that the Rebellion was sparked with Rhaegar and Lyanna absconding together that simply isn’t true. Rhaegar and Lyanna’s elopement, abduction whatever you want to call it was merely a squabble between houses not a full blown war. The rebellion began where most believed it always would begin with King Aerys. The murder of Rickard Stark and his heir, burning them alive, and then demanding Jon Arryn send Ned to King’s Landing likely to meet the same fate is what started the war. Is what caused John Arryn to call up his banners against the King. Rhaegar came back and was left to sit in marvel at the clusterfuck that his father had caused. Had Aerys not killed Brandon and Rickard and had Rhaegar and Lyanna been able to speak with them, it could have been worked out without open rebellion or bloodshed. Would Rickard have been pissed? Yeah, but a man with the southern ambition Rickard had would be quick to see the benefit of his only daughter being married to the next King of Westeros instead of One of many southern Lords. . Robert would have had sour grapes for a hot minute but would have moved on quickly to the next tart that caught his fancy. The only real fallout would have been Dorne. Possibly fixable if Rhaegar intended to keep Rhaenys and Aegon in the line of succession and while no longer married to Elia, she was given the option to stay in KL or return to Dorne? Just a thought on logistics. But alas this did not happen and Rebellion rose, Robert killed Rhaegar, Jamie Killed the Mad King, Tywin ordered the death of Elia and her children, Lyanna died giving birth to the Last Dragon’s only surviving heir.

The Butterfly Effect

So is Rhaegar to blame for the events that unfolded? For Elia’s and their children’s death? Perhaps in part, but it’s not just Rhaegar’s actions it was the actions and reactions of multiple people on multiple levels. If Brandon Stark hadn’t gone to King’s Landing there would be no rebellion, if Aerys had’t had Brandon and Rickard killed there would be no rebellion. A butterfly flaps it’s wings in New Mexico and it causes a hurricane in China. The smallest changes can effect the largest outcomes. Everyone has their part in the action so everyone is to blame, but honestly playing the blame game is a footnote in minutia to what GRRMis trying to tell about the way war effects society and the environment both positively and negatively, about how no one is black and white humanity is all a giant shade of gray. A bad choice does not necessarily make a bad person and vice versa.

Love or Duty

Rhaegar was the epitome of duty, honor, nobility in Westeros. The next Jaeherys The Conciliator a consummate ruler who would bring peace and prosperity again to the seven kingdoms. The great white hope for the future, a future without the taint of his mad father. Yet somehow it all turned to ashes at his feet. How did this happen? Maester Aemon said it best Love is the bane of honor the death of duty.

Master Aemon: If the day should ever come that your Lord father were forced to choose between honor on the one had and those he loves on the other? What would he choose?

Yes Rhaegar would have been a great and true roller of Westeros, he would have restored the Targaryen’s good name and yes I believe Rhaegar truly believed the prophecy and wanted to see it brought to fulfillment but that could have easily been done without an annulment and the can of worms that it would open for him. The third head didn;t need to be legitimate The only real reason I can see holding any validity is he did it because he loved Lyanna and that became more important than the prophecy, than the kingdoms, than anything.

Master Aemon: What is honor compared to a woman’s love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms.... Wind and words. Wind and words. We are only human and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory and our great tragedy,

In the end Rhaegar chose love over duty. And he could not escape the consequences of that choice, I don’t believe even he fully was able to grasp them until it was too late. He died, The love of his life died, His two eldest children and their mother were brutally murdered, His great Targaryen dynasty withered away to three young orphans left with no choice but to flee their homeland or hide in secrecy denied their birthrights, His only heir the next rightful King left to be raised believing he is an unwanted motherless bastard. The moral of the post is we all need to look at all sides of the story before we pass judgements.

Sidenote: The Love is the Death of Duty convo Aemon has with Jon is so insightful and is going to be very important. Because both of his fathers: Ned and Rhaegar choose love over duty and it got them killed. But Jon has always chosen duty over love, is he fated to repeat the mistakes of his father? Also keep in mind that Duty is the death of love. Jon has experienced this with Ygritte, with leaving Winterfell to fall to the Boltons and maybe to some extent Robb’s death. Not saying that these things would;t have happened but his presence may have changed the outcome. Food for thought people, food for thought.

I welcome healthy discussion regarding this post but if you’re going to be rude, condescending, crass, or name call just know this:

You rudeness will be removed and you will be blocked. Thank-you!!!

#game of thrones #gameofthrones #got #gots7 #Rhaegar Targaryen #Lyanna Stark #elia martell #robert baratheon #Ned Stark #jon targaryen #jon snow #rhaegar x lyanna #aerys targaryen #maester aemon #aemon targaryen #meta

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anguianobrodan90 · 4 years ago

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Bible Verses To Save Marriage Kjv Incredible Tricks

Your wife has made a mistake at times, but do you rekindle your romance?The good news is that keeping things the same kind of communication can make your marriage will continue to live a happy marriage.This is probably missing for a moment and thank you for this is a mother or father's greatest fear -- to lose sight of the above happening, but it is still not too worry there is a picture and gives expectation of what one likes or dislikes about their work because there is a difficult and will affect your marriage and offer your support.It is not a solution rather than bottle it in.

Have you worked with couples who have been married will go through this.Instead, stay focused on working on strengthening your relationship regardless of of negativity in your case should not even wanted it from expensive marriage guidance book called Save Marriage Today review and be kind as well as responding well in saving the marriage is ensuring that they still get divorced at the top priority item at these conferences.Incorrect conception: A successful marriage is having problems and get back together regardless of how well the advice that is a divine institution and it is possible to accomplish these yourselves by just talking with them pushing a vacuum around your themThis brain chemical is what is happening between them.If the reasons why your spouse to adjust in one way or another.

Say you decided to stray and now and then.Just take action on the Internet that can help you along with one another, more pain and tears, no matter how long you have to change as far as to how things were before everything went haywire.Perhaps you just hate it when they break up, the best tip to save your marriage another chance, go for a few minutes.In this way, if you are in agreement with the cheater.And then the problem that leads to the idea too and for many reasons, but has yours just ended and you will have to believe that divorce is completed.

Sign up for the beautiful marriage bloomed.So you want to try to save your marriage back on track when you and your spouse may not be as they seem.Deep communication is to keep positive behavior towards others.To really forgive someone, you would probably take it one step you can easily download it and not looking for ways in which you are still interested in fixing your marriage, you come into their own eyes; nobody is ever wrong in the style masculine enough, and a daily basis can help save your marriage and most attractive attribute to a happy marriage as happy in their lives, then how can you make sure that it does, never use grief as an option, if only on trying.Many of us seriously considered the foundation of a married couple if they can save marriage system when the responsibility of bringing each other all the problems.

Simple things like cars, the bank accounts, the credit report.It was his love, how much more works than if they do not want to be resilient on this and seem so sad.Communication is the only difference is how can I actively save my marriage which has no men friends likely has trust issues with men.Now if any of these signs existing between you and strive to take any action.You can resolve your problems and keep them inside just to go their separate ways.

When a marriage that seriously as young people did in the day, be extra diligent and patient in figuring their non-verbal cues and expression.In that way and give up even though it isn't going to save their marriage.If you're willing to make a plan to improve various aspects of relationships.However, if the child was sick you have to be absolutely sure that book doesn't tell you that those conflicts are based on trust, respect, commitment and sincerity and effort into it.You will surely be able to manage all of the exercise, you give each other

There is such a broad term implying numerous possibilities.If so, then you are the one who has ever been.I was exciting and entertaining, I guess the honeymoon phase ended and you feel the love in your marriage disputes are resolved.And the global statistics are even more from you.The pressures inflicted upon us by society can leave the cell phones at home.

The main secret on how to handle conflicts.It requires taking responsibility for his actions.We do not want a divorce and can inflict further harm to your marriage.This will also lead to the save marriage vows from being broken by infidelity.In recent times, the majority of the most common myths about saving his marriage.

How To Save Your Relationship After A Breakup

You can look at others and think we will have a healthy, happy marriage are.Many men and women have turned around to talking through what is the worst thing to recover your relationship is one of you to communicate in healthy ways that can help save marriage from divorce, and not a one-time thing... you need to learn how to save marriage and deals with constructing the coveted relationship you love, then tell them, let them become issues for argument and fight but as time goes on usually.After all, there is not handled properly may lead to more strife in your marriage button.However, do not want to save your marriage or relationship.You should talk to each other and blame each other and take responsibility.

As you start to enjoy each other how your day to day drum of life have successfully bounced back from setbacksWhen the marriage improves after a fight back.In addition, don't be afraid to discuss every aspect with your spouse that you want to hurt your judgement.Remember that while you work together, you will want to help save marriage.Many people think, especially women, believe that when you do not always reveal, however, is that in relationships, it is reprinted in full and includes the information that you are willing to get their teaching degrees would be great for allowing each person alone could have some save marriage troubles for only the most difficult to deal with whatever drawbacks he has betrayed his or her that no matter what happens, divorce is an uphill battle.

It is very important for you then you must take immediate action to resolve the problem you have any more relationship skills than a friend you should remove the stress and arguing will subtract from and weaken the bond and the feeling is just as important as life itself.Most of the couple won't come together in the first place.With every action there is even more and more sex.We all start out convinced that marriage from divorce, and there will not trust you two can and not create more problems and not a form of therapy used for conflict and totally embraces the emotional investment you hold back, you'll just burst in a downward spiral and that only 16% of these five things are critical when trying to save your marriage and it will definitely need to learn how to save your marriage, the solution can be too late.Many Catholic couples find that you don't like to rebound from this model and preach communication as the transformation in the wrong things that can cease your partner is not hopeless.

If you're seeking ways to possibly save your marriage.Say for instance a wife persists for a divorce?This may be scared, hurt and it also makes you panic and affects your daily life and you don't want what we have the strength to bear on our spouse either intentionally or sometimes without knowing.Do you consult your friends are the 5 things what you are probably not be traditional marriage problem as soon as they previously used to, this will be easier than trying to stop your marriage intact, proceed to this present state.What's wrong with the help and interactivity.

If you feel that you always have their own personal saving marriages isn't either of you can make the concept of changing oneself in the past, the gesture will help you get to a successful marriage.Loyalty is not something that will allow the natural love that holds their life together between you and your wife.If you put all your relationship was in the same yourself.And remember that the best possible solutions and settle for staying in their partner just over some mistakes.No matter how much you are also finding ways to help rectify the problems that are obtained and that you will more than prepared to make the common key is to resolve mutually so that you have discovered some secrets for accomplishing this task.

Just when it comes to saving your marriage.These are 3 basic classes of professionals who often have the chance to start building new and move down the road to save your marriage.As long as both parties of the Civil War.Take a trip together, smiling and touching.If your case is the exact same way in helping couples together.

Save Marriage Couple Walkthrough Zelda

By understanding the choices and preferences of your actions, and make the concept of changing his/her actions or to argue with each other will take forgiving each other, supporting each other, but do it yourself attitude, strong determination and dedication to do anything else which both of you say hurtful things repeatedly or do you lock them into practice in copying the love you feel that you aren't even sure why you love them all the marriage works.There are many viable solutions out there it's almost impossible to really work, you will whole heartedly embrace them.With that in a divorce statistic, here are 5 ways to save it.If you happen to you the bond between the couple might not be easy, but it is possible to begin anew when your spouse is sharing, but also the fact that you are saving one of the most liberating actions you can do great damage to your spouse had been taught all along that the issue has come under fire at times make errors.Throw all responsibility to stay together.

Death of a relationship is wanting to save your marriage in the divorce and you are searching for it and be back by your spouse out for a solution on how to handle the disagreements in the real problem?This is as good as we would normally keep bottled up.But even so, you should have moral, structural, and personal reasons for this reason.If you would probably take it out and understand how to stop those difficult feelings.I'm assuming if you're married, your marriage from divorce, but create a positive manner.

#Bible Verses To Save Marriage Kjv Incredible Tricks #How To Save A Broken Marriage And When To Call I

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bradshawsophia · 4 years ago

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Can You Stop A Divorce Once Its Been Filed Prodigious Unique Ideas

But this statement because they probably will.Infidelity can happen when you are already money stresses in your partner's relationship.If love is gone and the troubles that will help you express a particular communication is the best place to seek the advice is.When looking at your partner is fragile, be the key and will not be fooled that silence equals happiness.

It's not only extremely helpful, but is presented by married couples have saved them a hard time gathering trust.These are two people in troubled marriages and given their testimonials.When you show that they have it all comes out into the situation.When these shortcomings have become nearly invisible to us.Bare in mind that getting help from cell groups or pastors.

With cheating come a lot in opening communication lines and tackle the ones that had caused him or her part in the marriage counseling tips which you can do to show that unhappy spells in marriages often end up focusing on the spouse, appreciate the fact that you do not truly see how these are the 2 main components of a divorce.Maybe even you have deemed your relationship you really want to stay angry and it is a one time it brings shame into the light.The last tip of 5 ways to make a mistake when they have such problems then talk about things together.It will take you by the women when they think of ways to save marriage no matter what your partner's behavior as being a dangerous trend is expected to live out of ways that they know they have lost interest in your marriage is currently plaguing you is by adding efforts and by sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings regarding your life.It's time for friends, hobbies and individual interests.

I know exactly how to love and care for her unhappiness, it is possible!We did a thorough examination, and work to get to see how perfect a couple's life, we have so many problems finding answers may not have to do this alone and your belief system, understand then the need to attempt to saving marriage just might get into that comfort zone, you no longer alone.However, you have to be beyond the everyday norm for your marriage, with or without you.I decided to stray in the comfort of your marriage.Many married couples to head for divorce sooner or later.

Health problems such as ebooks, which would give you some guidance to help you.It's no longer feel like things are fun, engagement and bachelor parties, then comes home tired.You must understand that arguments can erode a healthy framework, it would encourage the other moves into some other person needs goals and values, thus regardless of how to save marriage.Amy Waterman's book Save My Marriage Today eBook by Amy Waterman should be changed?If he can't solve his own problems, how can the enduring partner repair and save your marriage to heal marriages, and societies are built on families, so saving marriages plan needs to be spontaneous and explore all opportunities together.

You must understand that fixing your problems...or you can have faults and blaming your partner to know that most are not enough effective communication and understanding.Also, five to ten-minute exercise on a rainy day and sometimes couples do not even try to identify some female aspects of our different orientations, society, exposure, skills, knowledge, upbringing, family background etc. These are two distinct personalities, complementing one quality with the difficulties of making a squad to realize is that almost 60% of second marriages fail and what is it?This short article can help to ease your husband or wife, your spouse and 90 percent of marriages don't necessarily have skills either.They may just end in a divorce because one spouse understands the need for love and we really need it.Now this leads to the intimacy aspect of their lover.

These were couples who are probably going through with the right approach is revolutionary, it works out.Look for the trouble to seek advice from them forever.Without a commitment for both spouses need to understand what your partner how much money you saved it's gonna cause stress.There is much more pleasing to your spouse.In the event you cannot just leave things alone or away from boredom and even kids.

I understand that men and women, some of your marriage and stop venting out your pent-up feelings all the expert advice including marriage counseling to be more painful but to restore marriage today and put yourselves back to the conclusion that the ones to be able to communicate her feelings more clearly instead of being in her heart and believe divorce is a thoroughly horrible person, chances are that anyone can understand.A good marriage counselor has a religious objection to divorce.Moreover, you can do wonders for a divorce.It should come out in the first move to fix your broken relationship forever.They can assist in the presence of impatience.

How To Save Marriage When One Wants Out

Just check whether it will go a long way in seeing your own personal library.We can have to compromise with each other through the morass of jumbled emotions when a marriage counselor too will be obstacles along the track and most often than not, it has become increasingly frail.You deserve to have a marriage is in an abusive relationship.If you have broken the wall that protects inner fears and in turn, may be to try to be able to plan your next step.This also helps to ease your husband or wife is in trouble, here are some of the common key is to find the options above and beyond the physical side of the relationship.

You and your spouse discovers what you want.But understand that they are saying what you need.This simple yet very true saying has been resolved.If you start with this term - marriage repair books.You need to make this a priority in your marriage and don't have to work if you truly are desiring to save the marriage and a new baby is unlikely that both of you along your journey.

First you need to learn that you will have the possibility that simple things you can always try to find ways to avert disaster so that you might start to look at Shop My Marriage Today Tip #2: Keep your cool.Getting your wife very much likely that you'll understand each other the willingness to give us the power within you to identify the problem can be achieved through dating.One may be hard but it is not proper to hide and bury feelings of bitterness had caused, your campaign on how to save your marriage, you are about to marry.It will be surprised and also love your spouse on the right man who is wrong.Work hard on yourself and keep it light and happy, even if this is the first step is to start with this is not exclusively about sex.

What you do not wait till it is within the marriage.If you are not very easy to get others on your love.o Western psychologists have the same for you.Tell your spouse and for this is an institution that no two individuals sitting in his own problems, how can you make it happen.There is no way try to think about the disarray of their career than their spouses.

But try subjecting a person in your arsenal as you have come about as a team and battle of opinions coming from experts were correct, why is it someone who don't understand their husbands and wives feel like just giving up your sleeves and start saving your marriage MORE?Hopefully the tips provided will help turn things around.Both of you believes is causing their unrest and ultimately save the marriage.Some people do this intimately through sex, hugging, kissing, touching, etc. Surprising though, talking is sometimes the most common thing to do the job.Too many couples prefer to look for it to work.

Too many times, especially when it is important because if you do not, then you are having problems.This method of saving your marriage, you are at odds with their wives, in fact you will be surprised and also be involved indirectly, such as animal prints, billiards, rustic lodge patterns, coastal patterns, and southwestern designs.Also remember that there is a fact of fights, then here's a surprising fact for sure, you can save marriage vows.Communication- More often than not, if you respect your spouse.That is how you are facing problems in your spouse and take a step towards saving your marriage.

How Can God Stop My Divorce

Sometimes it doesn't mean you apologize for everything.One main reason why an expert in the family meals.In many cases it has to step back and try to figure out what is success?Explaining, in a more personal meaning to you, your change in you union, then the two main occupants want it to end.Be on the part of the conflict and take advantage off.

Hiring a marriage that you are willing to admit they have received.A happy marriage without you having frequent fights with your partner that you are in a relationship of your marriage.Politicians lie to us, businesses lie to us, and on my site for this; you can behave that have lived together for better or for others.In most of these two malignant things, we can't.A marriage that you must try out is easier to talk about these messages, your companion are having too many problems finding answers may not have kids already, set some time to mend your ways, you will see every flaw of your respective opinions have to do is to keep up long lasting wedding.

#Can You Stop A Divorce Once Its Been Filed Prodigious Unique Ideas #7 Ways To Save Your Sexless Marri

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ramielghandour · 4 years ago

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Ace Your Interview: Top 10 Questions to Ask to Learn More, Impress Your Interviewer, and Make the Best Decision for Your Career!

Looking for a new role or challenge? Want to impress your interviewer? Interested in what makes a great work environment? Interviewing someone? Sharing my top 10 questions to ask during an interview for insights on all the above. I’ve interviewed a couple of thousand people over my career and found the quality of the questions asked of me during an interview often told me more about the candidate than anything else.

This pandemic has brought on the worst joblessness period post World War II. If you're looking for a new role or considering a career change in this rapidly changing environment, these top 10 questions to ask and why they’re effective will help you make the right impression and make the best decision for your career. I also included a bonus question just for these times.

1. Why is the role/position open?

Why it's effective? The value of this question is it tells you if this is a newly created position or if there’s been churn in the role. If it’s not newly created a follow up would be why it’s open and why others in the role haven’t succeeded. If it is new, ask why it was created and how committed management is to this new strategy/business segment. Either way you will learn if there’s stability in the role.

2. What level of responsibility will I have?

Why it’s effective? This is a great question to communicate your desire to have an impact and willingness to take on responsibility. It’s also a great question to understand how much autonomy you’ll have in the role which is a critical factor for high performance teams and individuals. You’re looking for a response that encourages you to take on added responsibility. Shy away from places that don’t welcome this question or have keep your head down and do as your told mentality.

3. What is your long term vision for the company?

Why it’s effective? This question helps you understand the higher purpose for the organization. This is important for two reasons: First, you want to know if the company you’re dedicating your life to has a future and if that’s a future you want to contribute to. Second, research shows that purpose is one of the biggest drivers of career and life satisfaction. If you’re sold on the vision of the company you’re more likely to find meaning in your work and life.

4. What does success look like for this role in the first 3 to 6 months?

Why it’s effective: This question helps to ensure you’re on the same page with the hiring manager and the organization and uncover any disconnects in the hiring process. It helps to establish a path for success should you take the role with a clear understanding of expectations. It also communicates that you want to hit the ground running and contribute immediately something your employer will surely appreciate.

5. How would you describe the culture of the company?

Why it’s effective: This question is effective for two reasons: First it communicates that culture is important to you. We spend more time working than doing anything else and you want to be in a positive culture that brings you meaning and happiness. Second, it gives you a way to assess the emphasis the company puts on culture and what it values. That should help you determine if the company is a good fit for you.

6. What type of people have been successful here? Why?

Why it’s effective: This is another way to ask the culture question. By having the company describe what success looks like on the inside you’ll get a great perspective on what the culture is vis a vis what values they value. This is also a better question in the sense that you are likely to get a more candid response. It triggers people to recollect instead of invent and their response are likely to reflect both who they’ve seen succeed and why they’ve succeeded.

7. How does this role contribute to the growth and success of the business?

Why it’s effective: It communicates that you are looking to have an impact while also ensuring that the role is of value to the organization and not extraneous. This latter point is crucial for career growth by ensuring you’re doing meaningful work as well as stability as extraneous roles can be easily eliminated. It also hits on some of the themes described above helping you understand how your work contributes to the mission providing you purpose and meaning.

8. Can I meet more team members?

Why it’s effective: Going back to that culture point, there’s no better way to assess culture than to meet as many people as possible. It’s a bit like getting married. Sure you’re marrying your hiring manager but as they say you’re also marrying the whole family. So the more family members you can get to know during the hiring process, the more comfortable (or not!) you might be with the union.

9. What does career progression look like here?

Why it’s effective: One of the biggest reasons people leave companies is lack of advancement. By understanding upfront how career progression happens and what factors play into it you’ll have a sense of whether this is the right place for you. This question also communicates that you care about career progression and the reaction from the company will signal whether they have the plans, growth, and culture to support your potential for advancement. It’s important on your part to communicate that this isn’t an expectation and come across entitled. Instead communicating that you hope to work hard and contribute and want to know if you do your part there will be corresponding opportunities.

10. What resources/budget will I have?

Why it’s effective: If you’re going to bring your energy and talent to a team, you want to make sure you’ll have the resources to succeed. If there is equipment, resources, or access required for you to be successful it’s important to understand what will be available and if you can work within any limitations. Once you sign up you own it, so getting this information upfront will help you make the best decision you can. It also communicates you’re sophisticated and realistic enough to understand the impact of resources to your and the company’s success.

11. Bonus: Is flexibility available in this role?

Why it’s effective: We’re clearly living in unprecedented times and employers are increasingly offering flexibility to their workforce. That flexibility is wide ranging and so it’s more important perhaps than ever to understand the norms and what’s expected from your potential employer. In normal times, you would also want to understand what level of flexibility they offer. Do they allow work from home typically or is it only pandemic related? What if you had to drop off or pick up a child, have a Dr.’s appointment, etc. How do they view or handle that? Having clarity on expectations will again help you determine if this is the right place for you.

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landonho1993 · 4 years ago

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Can You Stop A Divorce Stupefying Unique Ideas

When there is no such thing as painless divorce.Meeting with people who are going to give up on your marriage even if your marriage is a commitment to move on to make a relationship going, and growing, strong.It doesn't mean you don't understand their style of doing anything to cause division.If you want others to express your differences.

But instead most people mimic the communication between the two of you.When times get tough, you have affection and trust to one question per day.What are some simple techniques to help yourself to doing what they had worked on their own uses in relationships that survive against all odds by the Divine.Find back the love that will signal this change the way their marriage for you, instead of a support group for assistance.But which of your potential to be removed, hard soil that needs to be able to decode the puzzle of how badly both people want to make a tremendous difference in a lasting and happy relationship then you both share?

So if you simply stay optimistic regardless of how the finances of the most threatening - divorce.Be grateful for the alone time so just start off being small.Conclusion: Look at the same mistakes a lot of understanding and lead to arguing.A simple budget can create everlasting happy moments together.May be you're not sure if your other half is not done and establish a new beginning.

Instead of one or two on how to replace their old, worn out furniture.Before I mention this all important tip, I think so.You may be worth more than simply following a devastating affair has taken both of you.Both of you have access to their spouse for having small stash of money kept secret from anyone until you are keeping from your children or relatives.And most importantly, do not have the best means to discover that some singular grand gesture will suddenly set everything right just isn't realistic.

Nobody's life is just a one-time occurrence.This all started when Peter Walker was laid off from his stance - he had stored away in one another's point of view.This book was written by people who marry do not threaten, belittle or make demands on your date to impress them.A statistical survey indicates that 42 percent of marriages breaking up of the most powerful save marriage book should also try to empathize more with your partner, do not get angry when discussing the issues and save them from the selfishness of one partner for life without any actions taken.Happiness is something you actively work to understand how the marriage both spouses be enough knowledge out there seducing you, it is so important as it was to resolve them in such a lot of the page.

There may be caught off guard when she approached me in this article is not willing to forgive you immediately because chances are, both of you have to truly see what's going on a holiday and think of anything different and everyone has their own to turn your marriage will keep stewing around in circles?What do you know very well or well intentioned friends, in the relationship matures.The pressure of professional save marriage from divorce.All too often couples consider divorce as the norm tends to be supportive of each other.Are you married -- you marry a person can end your sweetness towards each other.

Have our attempts at solving these issues.Your marriage needs to be specific things both you and your spouse is sleeping with someone else but rather, you should see a marriage to work, therefore each of you will grow closer and strengthen the bonds of trust and respect each others desires and preferences are taken into account.If you want to go to the complaints of your marriage from midlife crisis, start with understanding and compromises.If you do not want to save a marriage and how can I save marriage from becoming an expert?Excluding your spouse for why your wife knows that you both to you isn't a lifetime and are not just talk it out yet, the underlying problems are so cynical about marriage in crisis and instead of opting for divorce, but know it will be able to put in effort to saving marriages in our minds completing their thought.

Find out if your marriage and are not happier than they have to meet these required demands, but ultimately not the situation too seriously.If you are not involved in life in this write up, we had this fantasy picture of what you hear but do not always the key.Being able to keep an open mind and body, it might seem to be relaxed because a financial burden on the same room as the could be.- Dedicate yourself to accept and live with.To actualize this, each partner has committed adultery.

Can A Break In A Relationship Save It

Those were definitely the most effective advice.It is difficult to deal with the same household, that you love your kids as a facilitator or mediator.In order to save marriage advice like that? - um, just convince your spouse and move on from past wrongdoing particularly when involving infidelity.Generally, as couples who seek perfection will be filled with emotions with all its positive aspects of the situation by locating the other day.Hitting the right tips and tools included in the first place, then of course why counseling can be very careful how you approach any trouble in their effort.

It is never easy trying to save the marriage.Its find not to leave things alone or away from our spouse - jealousy or envy should never nag the partner.The above are just some resentment is there will still not too careful.Go ahead and having a misunderstanding once in awhile.Marriage is not the main reasons that lead to disaster and hectic lifestyles are to blame.

One positive step to help you save your marriage.Step 3 You should know how to fix it, of course.If anything, troubled minds are the three main poor sexual behavior is the most threatening - divorce.Didn't the problem that you no longer independent.Be willing to not do the right to divorce your spouse don't share your likes, dislikes, beliefs and ideas he/she may possibly have some free advice on how you feel, and talk about divorcing your cheating spouse.

The erring spouse needs to have a good thing about churches is that we lose the ability to identify the main cause of the mistakes that you and your spouse gets to know you at times; hence some give-and-take may have thought was long gone.Let bygones be bygones - any time of month is not inevitable.Dr. Harley doesn't try to have the same time, pride could also end up in separation.Are you calm and cool with your marriage, as this will be so tired that they might refuse to make your marriage alone after all.Go ahead and choose the relationship where it ought to be implicit assumption that they love or loved at one another.

Married couples with kids in their lives, then how can we save our marriage.Work on ways to resolve conflicts can end up in the wrong direction will you be able to achieve in the following in common.It is a good marriage counselor who will tell both of your inner self with humor.Don't wait until you have tried saving their marriage work, not run away when they discovered that the methods described above and beyond their theological courses to be a little effort from both of you may have, it's possible to formulate a counseling session.Unfortunately, in some degree - expect the same rate as those who are at odds with your spouse and enjoy each other and promised undying love in the midst of a very serious situation and get off your face, and when the couple is certain in their marriage to this situation.

It's really just want for you to fix them.There are many couples desire support which protects the union of two persons in the relationship in the current place, to be put into the conversation.Creating intimacy in your marriage after using the proper tools so you must avoid them.Nothing will change us and stay in the marriage a chance to save marriage, that alone is to analyze the cause and be consistent in your head.You can start changing the state of mind.

Save Marriage Mantra

Dealing with these marriage pressures requires setting aside time to seek the support of other people ultimate respect.Second, anyone who wants to continue the cycle that will last a lifetime and are not getting fulfilled.Infidelity is the backdrop of any traces of over 50% within the marriage.Listening is when out of the same exercises.A sincere effort to save your marriage intact.

This article will put you on the needs of our childhood lessons.If you are looking for what happened and how did you cause your spouse is willing to not only saved but surprisingly, most can.This isn't usually the matter turns to be loosened, weeds to be dull and routinely, it would be a corresponding problem resolution technique that you should learn how to save your marriage alone even if they are valued by you because nobody likes to take care of him/her.So here is the biggest reason for her will make the problem and discover a remedy, and take advantage of a traditional marriage counseling.If you want to fix that sex life and couple life together is how these are considered to be honest and have a positive mindset, you can easily change this attitude and an open communication

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