#personal note

[daycourtofficial]

Personal update below

Tw: pregnancy loss, miscarriage, blood

Here it is, the words I’ve been unable to type, much less say out loud. Late in the night a few nights ago, I woke up to some abdominal cramping and went to the bathroom. I had been bleeding vaginally all day, but not enough to be super concerned.

I woke up and went to the bathroom, and knew something was wrong. To spare the details, I was bleeding a lot, cramping severely, and I knew my baby was gone. I felt empty inside, despite only being about 7 or 8 weeks pregnant. Intuition, I suppose. I just felt so lonely, as if I wasn’t supposed to be the only occupant in my body.

My husband took me to the hospital and after hours of invasive poking, prodding, and testing, a nurse practitioner I will likely never see again, who will likely never think of me again, told me that my baby was gone. He was straight forward, which I like in medical personnel. He told me my pregnancy was unviable and that it’s common. That we shouldn’t worry. These things happen. It’s normal, common. The three or so minutes felt like an eternity, waiting for him to leave so I could fall apart in the privacy of my husband’s arms, despite the lack of privacy an emergency department offers.

The hospital was so sterile, the bright lights and lack of windows made it impossible for you to track the passage of time. The winding hallways a maze of monotony, making it impossible to know how to return to your room without a guide. The walls were devoid of any real color, save for tv screens and workplace posters. And yet, the room I was placed in was the only room with decorative curtains. All the other curtains were just a shade of navy.

Mine had flowers on it, as if the world or God or the hospital wanted to offer me some reprieve, some reminder that for the hospital, this was routine, but that it wasn’t routine for me. That I deserved something for my eyes to find comfort in.

So here it is, the new reality I find myself in. My baby is gone. The rare statement that, once it becomes true, will never change.

I’m reeling a bit from this loss, as you can imagine. I’m gutted. I got married right at the beginning of the year, falling pregnant not long after. I joked with my husband that I started the year off becoming a wife and was ending the year becoming a mom. I suppose it really was just a joke in the end, but I’m not sure if the punchline was me or my continued optimism, in spite all that I’ve endured.

Anyway, everyone was extraordinarily kind to me when I had posted that I was pregnant. I know that technically I don’t owe anyone details of my personal life, especially not this personal, but I wanted to share it because I don’t want to be sad and alone. And perhaps this will find its way to someone else who has felt some loss recently, whether it be the loss of someone or something, or a loss of self or identity, or a loss of the future you had planned out. Maybe they will feel some connection to this. Or maybe one day someone will think of this as they reel with their own loss.

I don’t regret sharing the news so early, despite the circumstances that have now led me to making this post. Any joy we can find is worth sharing, even if it’s fleeting, especially if it’s fleeting, and even if it’s for some stranger on the internet.

Anyway, I have my dogs and my husband, who are very loving. I’m not sure when I’ll post this, I’ll likely stick it in my queue somewhere so it feels less like I’m hitting the ‘post’ button and more like softly whispering all of this in the wind.

I will be okay, I always am. Grief is a black hole I am trying navigate and figure out where it ends and I begin, trying to remember what my new life will be like and how to grieve yet another version of myself lost to time and trauma and sadness.

There is no narrative device here, nothing I did could’ve changed the outcome. Sometimes the world is just needlessly cruel.

This doesn’t really affect anything on here or what I choose to interact with. I’m still okay discussing/reading/writing about babies and kids and everything in that realm. I just didn’t want anyone asking after the baby and making someone feel bad for wanting to know how I was doing.

Anyway, I don’t want to end this on a despairing note, even though that is the tune of my life at the moment. I want to remember that my now is not my forever, and I hope anyone reading this that is experiencing any manner of suffering takes as much out of that sentiment as I do.

Yours,

V ❤️

[blackbatpurplecat]

Fuck. What a fucking day this has been.

Please be kind to yourselves and take care of yourselves.

You are strong, you are relevant, you are loved.

[hellyeahgeorgekennedy]

A personal note about Robert Mitchum from George Kennedy...

"Robert Mitchum was honest, handsome, talented, funny, real, manly, nuts, and the most well-read intellectual I've ever known.

He was also my friend.

I'm more proud than words can say that I am understating the case.

George Kennedy

4/26/09"

[observers-journal]

Wakanda Forever: 1 year anniversary personal note

I didn't have the slightest clue of how this movie will change my life. Sure, when I saw the trailer I got goosebumps. I shared it on my social media saying this is a perfect trailer, this movie is gonna be amazing. How amazing, I didn't know.

Grief, loss, love, frustration, anger, revenge, hope, this movie captures everything. The way the emotion of grief and coping with it progresses through this movie is cathartic. The way it projects women in the lead is empowering.

And then it gave us a nation below the land as powerful as the one worthy of veneration above it. So beautiful, I'll never forget the first time I saw it. I still get chills when I listen to con la brisa.

Then it gave us Namor, a man wrapped up in mystery with the depth of an ocean and fire like the sun. And it finally gave us Tenoch, shining at his brightest ever. It made me think about the movie and Wakanda and Talokan for days, and obviously about Namor and Tenoch! It made me learn more about this man, his heritage, culture and his beautiful country which happens to be right across the border. I learnt their language, I learnt more about the faces that I see in passing almost everyday, that belong to his country. I learnt more about their politics, struggles. Learnt what it is to be a fan of a poc and defend him. Learnt ways radfem and colorism, racism and privilege have the potential to destroy someone. Learnt it is still possible to rise in the midst of these challenges and retain that hope. And most importantly, met a group of the smartest and kindest people. I may not know your names and faces, just like you don't know mine, but we know each other's hearts. How powerful is that!

I might be less active here these days as my career takes a front seat on life right now, but I'll always be a part of this community.

May the legacy of Chadwick carry on forever. Wakanda Forever! Likik Talokan!

[comfy-vember]

Rain here, with a little more of a personal note.

If I don't get around to reblogging your work on this blog, please don't be angry. 😭 I don't have the capacity to do it all, I'm afraid. I never thought this would have so many people participating, and I'm just in a very busy time of life right now. But I am glad you're here, and enjoying yourselves.

Write and be comforted!

[naughtyneganjdm]

To the people still very much obsessed with me, I'd be careful. I don't care if you leave stupid comments on my ao3. I'll just delete them and report them as spam. To the person pretending to be me I don't really give a fuck about fandom anymore. You're a few years late. It probably would have given you more amusement like 2-4 years ago. You're just wasting your time. I am very much happy with my life right now & you are just wasting your time trying to troll someone who really doesn't care. I like Jeff & Hilarie but they aren't my begin all, end all. I really don't know why you're still so obsessed with me. I have no interest in the fandom & I haven't even been around for months other than to post my stories which is the one thing I still like to do. I think it's either time to grow up or find someone else. Because I'm at the point in my life where I do not care anymore. So before you cause big issues can I just suggest you move on. It's so unhealthy to obsess over me every day when I'm a no one. I'm not gonna fight you on negan cus I don't give a fuck. I like the characters & actors but geez man. Not worth it to obsess over a fan who is a stranger on the internet for years. Especially well past teenage years. I'm very happy in my life rn. I hope you can find that for yourself too.

[vintage-london-images]

A lady motorist driving an MG sports car receives a ticket from a policeman on the corner of Wardour Street London in 1936. We will probably never know what her misdemeanour was but the look on her passengers face says it all really.

On a personal note, when I'm driving my passengers look like that too....

[cbrownjc]

Okay so, for the three people who've sent me asks I haven't answered yet, I will do so soon, but not right away still just yet. I've just had a busy week this week, culminating in my car now being in the shop for repairs, and now it's looking like I won't have access to it all weekend. And since Episode 8 will air in Australia tomorrow at 7 am my time, I'm going to be avoiding Social Media all day -- but being stuck in my apartment as I do so.

So I will answer those and any other asks I get after I'm able to watch the finale at midnight tomorrow night. And yeah, whatever happens in the finale will probably inform my thoughts, but I will mark spoilers, just in case. 🙂

Also, I just want to say a big thank you and hello to everyone who took time to follow me during the course of Season 2. My follower count basically exploded a bit, during it all, and I really appreciate it. 😊

[thresholdbb]

Thank you all for letting me go absolutely warp-10 buck wild today

🦎🦎

🦎🦎🦎

[kukisana]

“I may not be an Omega,” Luke started and could hear his uncle scoffing, “but I should still be enough to keep up with your wants.”

I know Alpha/Alpha is pretty niche, but listen--- Luke allowing Aemond to bitch him! Delicious!

[jokeringcutio]

Welcome to my Tumblr Blog

~~ Masterlist - Request Box  ~~

A quick hello and introduction to my new followers ♡ And perhaps if you don't follow me yet, this is a nice way to get to know a little more about my blog.

IMPORTANT NOTE MARCH '24: Due to Medical Reasons I am currently unable to post regularly (or write much). Please bear this in mind.

A mature, 18+, reader and writer here, famously posting darker romance tales on this account. I love to explore new things in my drabbles, imagines, headcanons, and multi-chapter fics. Feel free to check my interests and leave me a request.

What do I write?

Almost anything. I seem to have a passion for dark romance and general dark fiction. I like writing about villians. I try and specialize in writing reader inserts that don't include y/n and that hopefully feel natural enough for the reader to enjoy.

Types of tales:

Headcanons: Lists of ideas and thoughts about a certain character and a certain topic.

Drabbles: A short fragment of a tale, or fragments blended together.

Imagines: Combination of headcanon and drabble.

One-shot: A longer story that isn't just a fragment, but is posted as one piece.

Multichapter: A story containing several chapters. I am infamously bad at finishing them, but I do make attempts.

Genres:

I tend to drift between dark & angst, and humor and fluff. I suppose I would want to give everything a go.

What I won't write.

Try me. I will probably discover more things as time passes. But I won't write underage smut and about miscarriages.

Requests/Prompts

Feel free to send in requests and prompts whenever my ask is open for requests. I might take a while before answering or filling them. If for whatever reason I (have to) decline to create a fill, I will try and let you know asap.

I am doing this all in my spare time (which is very sparse) and am writing mostly for my own enjoyment. Like most (fan)fiction writers, I share my works for that very small percentage that has been hoping for one of these stories to appear online. I am not doing this for the likes/reblogs/hits (though they do help, just saying 👀 ).

~~ Masterlist - Request Box ~~

[blackbatpurplecat]

Recently, I reinstalled Arkham City again for a new replay.

Gosh, I'd almost forgotten how much I enjoy that game.

[stephstars08]

💙Important Note💙

Hello everyone! This has been a bit of a hectic day for me. Tbh I feel like the start of this year has been hectic for me. That is why I haven’t been writing and I feel like I’m ready to explain what has been happening in my personal life. In January I believe is when they found a lump in my mom’s breast which did turn out to be cancer but it wasn’t spreading and all they needed to do was surgery which she got a couple of weeks ago which is why I haven’t had time to write or motivation to write since I’ve been spending most of my time with my mom helping her and just being there for her during this difficult time for her. I’ve been pausing on writing until we knew all she needed was just radiation and she will be fine to go back to work next week and the cancer is gone. Today we got the final word that she is fine and she just needs radiation not chemo! I just haven’t been completely comfortable sharing it until we knew she will be completely fine and she will be making a great recovery! Since my mom will be returning to work next week that’s when I’ll most likely be back to writing! Sorry for the long waits and the promising I’ve just had so much going on in my head between my mom having surgery, my dad continuing his recovery from his health issues that started last year and also my health which was having an impact on me as well! I am very thankful for you all be so patient with me!

-Stephanie 💙

[iluvsumbucky]

[sinnamanbun]

Great news guys, I finally got a new vibrator and it’s fantastic.

I already came twice and I feel so good.

[roseandbee]

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