#how much of this do you think is gonna stick with river?

[theosconfessions]

if youd like to read the stephens from the beginning you can over here:)

if youd like to read the stephens continued you can over here:)

@ohsosims

river- is the reason why we're having this conversation because he already has a kid?

dustin- i mean its part of it. being a parent is difficult... but its even harder when youre a young parent. and youre still trying to figure yourself out on top of that. i was young when i had you,riv. but this is way different. youre 18. youre still a kid yourself.

river- we're not getting married tomorrow. i dont see what nellie has to do with this

dustin- i just...see how much you like him and i need you to temper your expectations.

river- because he has a kid?

dustin- because he has a kid and hes had multiple women and men in his life and we see that. ive seen that just from being AROUND.

river- just because hes been with different people doesnt mean anything.

dustin- yes it does and let me tell you why,river. back before daddy and i got married he cheated on me. with some douchebag that worked at my bar. and he ended up getting sick because of it. something thats still with him to this day. all these years later.

river- i know hes sick.

dustin- yeah but what you dont nkow is how he put me in danger because i thought there was no way. 0 chance.. this man i was obsessed with.. in love with...that i brought into my kids lives would hurt me like that

river- but youre not sick.

dustin- youre missing the point. i should be. for as active as we were?

river- ew.

dustin- just listen. its going to be an uncomfortable conversation. the point is daddy didnt give a shit back then if he put me in danger for some piece of shit he knew for five minutes. he didnt want to settle down back then. i didnt see that. i was in love . so even though the clues were there the whole time i was..i was blind

river- blakes not like that.

dustin- but you dont know that river. he already could have something and he didnt give a shit about protecting you.

[azrielslittleslut]

HIHIHIHIHI I love your work, it's amazing! I was wondering if you could do a scenario where reader has trouble with her hair and doesn't want to deal with it, (which is like high maintenance? Mine is curly but it could be frizzy in the work!!) and just leaves it looking like a rats nest until Azriel helps her? (Preferably fluff!) Tyyy

Bad Hair Day

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Warnings: fluff, slight suggestiveness, use of pet names (angel/princess)

Word Count: 1k

a/n: as you can see anon, I wrote this really quick, but it was so fun! I hope you like it! I have board-straight hair, so I hope I got it right!<3

The clock in the corner of the bedroom chimed, alerting you to the time. It was already half past six, which only left you thirty minutes to finish getting dressed before having dinner with the Inner Circle.

You leap up from the bed, discarding the book you had been reading onto the nightstand. You had been so caught up in the story that you hadn't been paying attention to the time.

Family dinners these days have become a rare occurrence, mainly because of everyone's busy schedules. You loved spending time with them, so there was no way you were going to miss it, even if you had to rush to get dressed now.

You rush over to the mirror, and your eyes widen in slight horror at the sight before you. Your hair was sticking out in all directions, and it looked like it would make a comfortable home for any bird flying around. The calm Velaris spring had changed into a blazing summer, and the humidity made dealing with your hair a living nightmare. It caused the soft curls framing your face to turn frizzy and unruly, and it made it pretty much impossible to style.

You huff and get to work. Pulling your hair back, you try to pull it into a low ponytail, but the frizzy curls will not cooperate. You spray some water on it, hoping to tame it enough to do something with it, all to no avail.

You anxiously look over at the clock, and your heart skips a beat when you realize you've wasted fifteen minutes on your hair.

"Looks like I'm gonna rock the rat's nest look tonight," you mumble to yourself. You're running out of time, and you still have to get dressed. You sprint to the closet, and you quickly throw on a silk cobalt blue dress that fits your body perfectly. You put on a pair of small black heels, and you bring the whole ensemble together with some jewelry.

With a last look in the mirror, you turn around to walk toward the door, but it opens before you can get to it. Azriel, your wonderful mate, walks in. He's dressed in a pair of fitted pants and a tight shirt built for his wings. His hazel eyes are bright, and your breath catches in your chest at how beautiful he looks.

"Are you dressed, love?" he asks, his voice full of adoration. "Everyone is already at the River House."

You offer him a nod. "Yep, all ready to go. I just need to put some perfume on right quick." You hurry over to the dresser in search of your favorite scent. Well, it was Azriel's favorite, and you always wore it because you knew it drove him wild.

After spraying a little bit of the mist on your neck and wrists you turn around, but you're stopped in your tracks at Azriel's wide-eyed stare. "Is perfume the only thing you need, angel?"

You look down at the ground, trying to think of anything you have forgotten. You're dressed. You have shoes and jewelry on. You smell good. Suddenly you realize what he's talking about. "Oh, yes! My book." You run over to the nightstand and grab it, clutching it to your chest. You never go anywhere without something to read, even family dinners. "Thank you, Az."

Azriel shakes his head in what looks like disbelief. "No. Your hair, love.." he trails off, searching for words. "Forgive me, but it looks a little.. wild."

You turn your face away from him, trying to hide the embarrassment flooding your cheeks. "I'm having a bad hair day. This is all I can do with it." You look up, glowering at him. "Plus, I thought you liked my wild hair."

He chuckles as he walks over to take your hand. He pulls the book out of your grasp and places it gently on the bed. "I love your wild hair. It reminds me of those long nights we've spent in bed together." You ignore the prickle of desire running through your body at his words. He continues, his voice a purr, "Which is why I do not want to go to family dinner with you looking like that."

"What do you want me to do then, Az? Shave it off?" you do nothing to hide the frustration in your voice. Between rushing to get dressed and the hair fiasco, you were already done with the night.

Azriel pulls you to the bathroom, his scarred hand holding a firm grip on yours. He leads you over to the sink and turns the water on. "Let me help you."

You stare at him with wide eyes as he walks over to the bathtub to grab your shampoo and conditioner off the side. "We're gonna be late. We don't have time."

He motions for you to lean your head under the water. "This would get done quicker if you would stop being stubborn and just let me help you, love."

"Fine," you say as you lean your head down. The water is the perfect temperature and you sigh in contentment. Azriel gently washes your hair, massaging the shampoo into your scalp. He follows with the conditioner, running it through the ends of your hair with his fingers. Once he's done, he towel dries it, being careful not to get any water on your face or dress.

Your hair now falls in soft ringlets around your face and down your back. It looks.. pretty. It's definitely better than anything you could have done. "Is this better?" you ask your mate as he throws the towel in the laundry bin.

"Hmm," he murmurs. "Let's see what else I can do." He pulls two strands of your hair back, twisting them until they meet at the back of your head. He reaches down to grab some pins from the counter, and he gently places them into your hair. "There. Now I have a perfect view of that beautiful face."

You turn around so that you're facing him. You stand on your tip toes to place a quick kiss on his lips. "Thank you. I really couldn't have done that without you."

"Anything for you, my princess," he responds. He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I'll never let my mate suffer from a bad hair day."

[the-fiction-witch]

Woodcutter

Media - The Maze Runner AU Character - Newt Couple - Newt X Reader Reader - Y/n (GF) Rating - Smut Word Count - 2412

I walked through the thick trees and grass in my boots, my denim shorts and my hoodie, my Y/H/C hair in a braid pinned up around my head, my backpack over my shoulders starting to feel heavy already, and I did my best to control my breaths.

"Why... can't ... they ... pick ... a ... spot ... closer ... to ... the ... car ... park ..." Teresa gasped behind me, I turned to check on her as she walked in her cute purple athletics outfit of leggings and a crop top, her hair up in a high pony with her backpack but she was already struggling,

"Cause the boys, like an adventure in the woods." I sighed, "Plus less chance of getting busted."

"True..." she sighed,

"Come on Teresa, I believe in you," I told her taking her arm to help us keep at pace,

"How do people hike?"

"I don't know,"

"Why do people hike?"

"I also don't know," I answered, "Come on we're only five minutes from the cars,"

"I know," she sighed, "This is not like the gym,"

"It really isn't," I nodded, "You'll be okay, think of thomas."

"I'm gonna kick his dick."

"Fair enough," I nodded,

Soon enough we arrived at the clearing where four tents were set up around a campfire and the boys all stood around doing various tasks.

Gally was building the fire, thomas sat prepping food from his backpack, Newt stood hanging the last of the orange tent guidelines and Minho was lying on the airbed of the little blue tent watching everyone.

"Girls are here!" Minho called out,

"Girls!" Thomas perked up, "Sweetie!" He smiled but Teresa just went past him and lay in their purple tent so he petted her hair,

"Hi," I smiled,

Newt chuckled at me and opened his arms so I happily bolted over and jumped into his arms,

"Ummmm! Hello love!" He smiled as he squeezed me,

"Hi newt," I giggled, "How's the tent coming?"

"Good, a couple more lines and then we can set our bed up,"

"Alright," I smiled, "I'll unpack then,"

We shared a kiss before I started to unpack my bag into our little camp.

I sat by the fire enjoying a hotdog as I laid my head on Newt's shoulder, his arm around me tightly, I looked across the fire and saw thomas and Teresa cuddling up too looking ready for bed, Minho making another hot dog in the fire flames, gally sat feeding the fire with a few small sticks.

"Another drink?" gally asked,

"I'm good I'm ready for a dog," Minho shrugged taking his hot dog off the fire to add to his bun,

"you guys?" Gally asked,

"I'll take a beer," Thomas nodded so Gally threw him a beer,

"I'm good," Teresa shrugs,

"You two?" Gally asked,

"I'll take another beer," Newt nodded so Gally threw one other,

"I'm okay," I nodded,

"You guys wanna play another game?" Thomas offered,

"No, no more drinking games they only end badly," I laughed,

"How about a spooky story?" Minho laughed,

"Yeah!" Teresa nodded,

"No, you'll all be up all night unable to sleep," I remind everyone,

"Just a little spooky story?" Newt cooed,

"Fine one small spook," I warn,

"okay," Minho chuckled, "A long time ago on a night much like this..."

"Original," Gally glared,

"Don't comment on my story," Minho told him throwing a bun at him, "So a long time ago on a night much like this a word cutter was working on the edge of the woods, with his young daughter playing with the flowers."

"Why would you bring your daughter wood cutting? seems dangerous?" Newt spoke up,

"No comments," Minho complained throwing another bun at Newt,

"So, he is cutting wood on the edge of the forest with his young daughter,"

"At night?" I asked, but he just threw a bun at me, "Owww minho!"

"ANYWAY! The woodcutter is cutting wood on the edge of the woods with his young daughter playing one moment he turns and sees his daughter is gone, and he hears her screaming in the woods so he runs in after her he sees a woman carrying his little girl away so he chases after them with his axe in hand." he explained, "He hunts her down to the river where he axes her head right off!" he said,

"Not very scary Minho," Thomas spoke up but he too got a bun to the face,

"He saves his daughter but little did he know the woman was a WITCH! and she curses the woodcutter to never be able to leave the woods and curses him to have a deep hunger for human flesh!" he explained,

"Terrifying," I sighed,

"You know Minho scary stories are usually better than that," Teresa said,

"Well sorry I don't give you a story worthy of a booker prize," he glared, "But it's said he still haunts these woods..."

"Sure Minho," Gally nodded, "Now if you guys are all good I'm off to bed,

"Yeah we'll turn in too," Thomas nodded,

We all said our goodnights and headed into our tents Newt and I crawled into our little orange tent and zipped up the door laying on our airbed, quickly cuddling up for the evening,

"Ummm I love cuddling you love,"

"Aww, I love cuddling you to newt,"

We smiled and each shared a sweet little kiss before relaxing ready for bed,

"Y/n?"

"Yes, Newt?"

"You know... these sleeping bags do zip together? if you're interested?" He cooed,

"Ohh do they now?"

"They do, or if you want we could just huddle in one sleeping bag, for warmth?"

I chuckled and unzipped my sleeping bag he happily and egarly unzipped his own and came into mine zipping us ip inside together, "Just be quiet everyone is only just outside," I whispered,

"I'll be quiet love," He cooed pulling me into a kiss,

I laid ontop of him I immediately blushed but wrapped my legs around his hips as his arms wrapped around me making sure the blanket covered us both before pulling me into an intense lusty kiss, as we slowly pealed off one another's clothes even if we hadn't warn much to bed anyway in our little warm tent, we did our best not to moan even if we both desperately wanted too as our hands explored one another seductively but we made sure we made as little noise as possible as to not attract attention even if the sounds of our lips locking seemed so loud to me,

after a few minutes of our kisses he held my hips and gently rubbed his erection against me I smiled into the kiss and nodded, he growled a little and pulled me back to a kiss grabbing his bag from the side and sigging out a comdon as soon as he grabbed one he pulled away ripped it open with his teeth and quickly slipped it on,

we both gently shifted until I slipped down his erection luckily our kiss covering our groans as I reached the base we both pulled back gasping a little before we slowly began our movements making sure to be as slow and quiet as possible often having to stop, slow or eve cover our mouths to prevent Discovery but it got to the point neither of us cared if someone heard or if someone found out all we wanted was release moving fast and hard nuzzled up together as we both got closer and closer to the edge until after a few quick thrusts

I hit my wall biting his neck as I did to keep my quiet slowing almost to a stop with only really his guiding and thrusts keeping us moving as I felt the rush of pleasure thought my body causing me to shake which in turn drove him utterly crazy holding me tightly not thrusting mercliclessly desperate for his own which quickly came burying himself deep inside me as he hit his own moaning at first but quickly putting his hand over his mouth as he buried his inside me as deep as he could we both collapsed in his blankets exaughsted peppering little kisses on each other till we had some strength back.

He pulled out and I covered up and we shared a sweet kiss as he tied the condom and wrapped it in tissue to toss on the fire later when no one was looking,

As we cuddled and caught our breath we both perked up a little hearing rustling and moment outside the tent,

"AHHHHHHH!" Minho yelled,

We both grabbed our clothes and rushed out of the tent to see Gally, thomas and Teresa rushing out too, but Minho was gone.

"Minho! Minho!" We all called trying to find him but nothing he just disappeared,

Teresa began to hyperventilate and Newt grabbed hold me me in the tightest grip he could,

"What happened to Minho..." Thomas gulped,

"I don't know... maybe he uhh tripped on a log or-" Newt began,

"Or... something's out there," Gally said,

"You... you don't think..." Teresa began,

"The woodcutter." gally finished,

"That's just a stupid story Minho made up," I said,

"Yeah...and now he's gone missing," Gally said,

"This is stupid this is Minho we are talking about maybe he got up for a late-night run and tripped over a tree branch." Newt explained, "Besides it's dark anyway we should all just get to bed and if Minho still isn't here in the morning we go look for him at first light,"

"Good idea," Thomas nodded,

So we all went back to our tents a little tense newt and I cuddled up and got sleep for maybe an hour before we woke up to a loud screaming it was Gally, we both bolted out of the tent thomas and Teresa bolting too as we looked around and noticed gally was gone.

"Oh my god, oh my god... it's the woodcutter!" Teresa screamed,

"It would all be a -" newt began,

"It's the woodcutter he's come to eat us all!" She screamed,

"Teresa sweetie get a hold of yourself," Thomas began taking her in his arms,

"It's okay... it's all okay," Newt nodded, "We have... six more hours until sunrise..."

"To be honest newt I think we should act before then... if something has happened to them we should kinda call the cops," thomas spoke up,

"You're right thomas." I nodded grabbing my phone, "No signal,"

"Damn it." Teresa sighed

"Okay... I think we should all just sit by the fire and hope we hear anything from them," I said,

We sat by the fire for a while with no sign of Minho or Gally, thomas and Teresa had looks of worry but I just kept Y/n close to me kissing her head and squeezing her never letting her leave my arms.

"I hate to say this..." thomas sighed, "but I need to pee." as he got up,

"Nooooo! Thomas!" Teresa said hugging his legs, "You'll get gotted!"

"I'll be okay sweetie," he patted her hair,

"Just uhhh be careful thomas," Y/n told him,

"Thanks," he nodded, "Newt if I don't come back..."

"Delete your internet history and burn the box under your bed," I nodded,

"You're a good friend," He nodded before he kissed Teresa and he headed into the woods,

We all sat silently almost readying ourselves to hear a scream but he soon returned and sat back with her again so we all sighed in relief for a moment,

"AHHHHhhhH!" Y/n screamed gripping my shirt as she turned, I turned too and we all began to scream seeing a man standing with an axe over our camp he grabbed Y/n's arm and pulled her from my grip into the woods seconds later a blood-curdling scream and then... silence.

"He's real! He's real!" Teresa cried,

"Newt... I am so sorry-" Thomas began,

I couldn't even process it, the idea Y/n could be...

I felt so guilty for not holding her closer and tighter, for not putting her in the tent where it was safe, I broke down and began crying hysterically calling out her name until my voice was horse, I saw the mallet used to put the tent pegs in, I grabbed it and held it tightly in my hand,

"Newt...." Thomas began,

"You guys can sit here shivering if you want. Until he comes and picks us off one by one... But I don't care. Either I find Y/n. Or I die with her." I answered getting to my feet and bolting across camp only to see him return I swung the mallet into his head knocking him to the ground,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH NEWT WHAT THE FUCK!" Voices yelled in the darkness,

"What!" I yelled,

Out of the trees came Frypan, Winston, and Zart,

"What the hell newt!" Fry complained,

"Wh- what are you guys doing here?!" Thomas complained,

"It was a prank!" Zart laughed,

"A pr-" I began unable to even form words right now,

"A Prank!?" Teresa complained, "What the hell guys!"

"Ohh we got you good," Winston laughed,

"Why... why would you do this!" Thomas asked,

"Fuck with ya," Fry laughed, "But what the hell newt you just threw a mallet at Ben!"

"That- that's Ben!" I yelled,

"Yes! You knocked him out!"

"How was I meant to know! he came at us! with an axe!" I complained, "After taking Y/n!"

"Okay know who I'm partnering with within a horror movie scenario," Zart laughed, "You have a real fight response,"

"My girlfriend was taken! I heard her scream! You do realize I was ready to kill all of you!"

"Awww newt that's so sweet," Y/n laughed as she emerged from the tree I dropped my mallet and hugged me as tight as I could giving her a billion kisses and telling her I loved her over and over and over, and she hugged me tightly too,

"We're okay too, not that anyone cares." Gally sighed as they came back to camp,

"I was an inside man," Minho laughed,

"Good, good to know it was nothing serious," Thomas sighed,

"We were gonna get all of you but you know Newt kinda went crazy" Winston explained,

"I still feel I was justified,"

"Come on everyone let's get some sleep," Teresa spoke up,

Everyone agreed the guys went home having to carry Ben with them, and we went back to our little camp I held Y/n in a death grip inside our tent,

"Newt it's okay-"

"I know, I know, but I got so scared... I couldn't ever think of losing you love,"

"I couldn't even think of losing you either newt, thank you for coming to save me I'd have done the same for you,"

"You would?"

"Of course I would I love you very much newt,"

"I love you more Y/n," I smiled giving her a sweet kiss before we drifted off into each other's arms,

[just-a-ghost00]

You got mail 💌

Let��s find out what the person on your mind has to say to you. Pick one of the following emojis and discover your reading.

🌍 🩵 🌄 🤠

Group 1 🌍

I may not show it to you but I am really happy we met. Everyday with you feels like a new adventure. Though we are worlds apart and so different from each other, I really feel like we match perfectly. You make me feel like I belong. Every moment spent with you is so much fun. It makes me want to jump forward and explore. You are so sweet and generous, so playful that I can’t help but to play along. I feel so lucky being with you. There is so much I want to do with you. I want to hang out with you and get to know you more. Maybe we could have a couple drinks, play in a park, have a little date by the river… if you wish. I feel so boring compared to you. With me, everything is always black and white. But you, my love, are so colorful and bright. I wish we were a family. I wish I could wake up in the morning to find you sitting at the table, eating breakfast with a smile on your face. I wish I could share with you my favorite spots and take you to every place I get to see. I wish I could find a way to express all that you mean to me. I tend to see the glass half empty. But when I’m with you I want to believe everything is possible. You have filled my cup with your love and I am so thankful for that. I can’t find the words to tell you how much I owe to you. You’ve made me a better person and I feel like I could never return the favor.

Group 2 🩵

I may look like all is well and fine but to tell you the truth I feel hollow. And I could use some fun. I always seem so busy, always the life of the party, making everybody laugh and ensuring they have a good time. But deep inside, it’s getting tough. As the days go by, I feel my energy depleting and my motivation as well. I don’t even know why I do this anymore. I force myself for the sake of keeping appearances but honestly I’m not sure I like it at all. I’m afraid that if you dig deep enough, you wouldn’t like what you find there. I am much more fragile than I seem. Also much more mellow and soft when I get the chance. But lately I’m more of a zombie than anything. I don’t think I could bring you much joy nor comfort. I’m afraid I’ve turned bitter. It’s all about work and making sure the money gets in and less about enjoying what I’m doing. I need to pay the bills. There’s competition around. I can’t afford to lose. Everyone’s counting on me. People look up to me. I sacrificed a lot to get there. I can’t back down now. Who would I be if I did? I can’t disappoint. It’s all a masquerade but it’s for a cause. It might not look great to you but it means a lot to me. So, sorry if I’m acting cold but… it’s all for you baby. Don’t go thinking I found someone better. Believe me I don’t have the time for that.

Group 3 🌄

Hold on a minute ! I know what you’re gonna think. What the heck is he/she saying? But hey, let me explain you’ll get it ! I may not be the strongest, the wisest or the most impressive of them all but one thing that’s sure about me is that I only have good intentions for you. I am ready to fight for you if that must be done. Thought I’m not good at that. Listen, my point is I really like you. I want to be with you, have fun with you, chat with you. I want us to take our time and get to know each other and hopefully to grow old together but that’s another story. With you I feel like a kid again. Sometimes, I gotta say, the feeling can be irritating. But at the same time it is freeing. I don’t have to chose a side. I don’t have to act a certain way to be accepted by you or understood. And that’s crazy! I’ve never experienced that before. Usually I would try to conform and play nice, show my best side and stick to the plan. But ever since I met you I want to free myself of those restraints. I want to find my home. I want to express my full potential without fearing being rejected or not belonging. I know you’ll never kick me out. Because you are the same aren’t you? The things I’ve seen, what I’ve been through, you’ve been there as well, right? I want to make a promise to you. Whatever comes our way, I swear I won’t run away. Even though it is scary and seems impossible, I will always work hard and do my best to make it. I may not be exactly your type or what you imagined a partner should be, but I am willing to learn. I am willing to tune to your melody and shelter whatever we may build together, not matter how unstable it may seem. I want you to feel comfortable with me. I want you to feel as safe with me as I feel with you. So if you’ll let me, let me fulfill that promise. You won’t regret it.

Group 4 🤠

To be honest, at first I didn’t get the best of vibes from you. I was a little intimidated and didn’t want to get to know you. Especially considering what people were saying about you. But I tried to see past your exterior and once I got to know you I found out that you were very chill. Maybe it was because I didn’t know you. Maybe I feared the unknown territory you represented. Maybe I was just afraid of going deep. But curiosity got the best of me. And luckily for both of us I stayed around long enough to make my own opinion. And I have to say that you are quite surprising. I won’t lie, being with you asks a lot of efforts on my part. But every second spent with you is worth it. In your presence, I feel comfortable. Being with you reminds me of my childhood. I think of my mother and my family, of the days we spent together before I moved away and followed the wind where it took me. Every page of our story takes me deeper within. I see sides of myself I never noticed or didn’t want to remember. I remember the innocent days where doing something new weren’t as terrifying and meeting new people sounded like a thrill. Being with you I feel blessed and content. There’s a light heartedness and a warmth in my heart I wouldn’t trade for anything. When I’m alone at home you’re all I think about. When I’m at work also. There isn’t a single moment when you’re not on my mind. When I’m with you I feel hopeful. I think that maybe life isn’t as tough as I thought it would be. That maybe there is more waiting for me. Please, show me more of your different sides. Tell me more about what makes you happy. Let me in and let me see for myself what you are made of. I’m begging you don’t shut me out. I want more of you.

[julietsbody]

Okay first of all You are amazing and really feeding my obsession over Coryo😵‍💫❤️I love Your fics so much

Second of all…

What are Your thoughts of Coriolanus with spit kink who just loves punishing and degrading reader in public places?

Like pushing you in the nearest empty room to just spank You and spit in Your throat for being a bad girl😵‍💫

a/n : thank you so much!!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა also i love this idea sm… he DEFINITELY loves to humiliate reader! i hope u enjoy this!

tags : orgasm denial , edging , spanking , spitting , spit kink , angry sex , public sex

( divider by mewmyu )

coriolanus snow was your boyfriend, he was a good boyfriend, he showered you in riches when he could, spoil you in expensive roses or all the finest things. he would save up his pocket cash and surprise you with something you had been wishing for when he finally was able to afford it. but, that’s only when you were good to him as well.

when you weren’t, when you refused to wear something he recently bought you, or wore shorter skirts to tease him in public. today was one of these days in which you decided to wear those mini skirts, and god, he hated it. he hated how he could see your ass peaking underneath, because he knew everyone else could as well.

such a slut, it didn’t take long for him to speed - walk after you in the busy academy halls, eventually catching up to you and abruptly taking hold of you. he keeps walking until he finds a nearby empty class, ignoring your questions as he slams you into the classroom.

you breathe against him, “coriolanus? what are you—“

“you wore that on purpose, didn’t you? fucking slut, i spend so much on you, so much fucking money,” he moves to take hold of your jaw, prying your glossed lips apart, “and you make me look like an idiot by showing off your body like this, you want me to look like an idiot?”

“no, no.. i promise, coriolan—“

“don’t call me that.” he snaps immediately, “stick your tongue out.”

so you did, you did anything he wanted you to, and immediately he spat into your mouth without any warning, “swallow.”

the taste of his saliva smooths down your throat as you gulp it down, and your doe eyes peer up at him, “i’m sorry.”

“are you, now?” he chuckles, spinning you around so you’re not pushed, front - first, against one of the nearest desks, “surely you just love to embarrass me, after everything i’ve done for you.”

before you can speak, his hand spikes against your ass, already reddening the skin there. you yelp into the wall, mumbling out incoherent apologies as his hand becomes relentless against your ass, slapping it until the skin is maroon.

tears prick at your eyes, glossing over your dilated pupils.

coriolanus’ eyebrows furrow as his hand moves to pull up your skirt, only to find that you are free of any panties as well. fucking hell. his jaw ticks, “you fucking bitch.”

it doesn’t take long for him to have you bent over the desk, gripping the wood for dear life as he slams into you. he doesn’t respond to any of your incoherent mumbles, or sobs, or sweet apologies. no apology could remedy such slutty behavior, especially when you knew damn well what you were doing.

his fingers lace around your neck, prying you off the desk and pulling you up against his chest, “look at me, you slut.”

his fingers are tight around your neck when you turn to him, rivers burning down your cheeks, puffy lips begging to feel his gentle kisses. but he doesn’t kiss you, of course not, he moves his free hand to pry your lips apart, tugging your tongue out before he harshly spits down your throat one more.

“swallow,” he feels the saliva travel down as you gulp, due to his tight fingers around your neck. it wasn’t enough to constrict you of air, but enough to teach you a lesson. his jaw shifts, “you’re so fucking tight— you gonna cum, hm?”

you nod immediately, moaning against him as he pounds you relentlessly, “yes, yes.. i— ‘m gonna cum— corio—“

“you think you deserve to cum? sweet girl, you’ve made a fool of me, why do you think you’re allowed satisfaction?“ he chuckles, “so entitled, spoiled bitch.”

he takes time to fuck into you until his cum is deep inside of you and you’re whimpering on his dick from your awaited orgasm, and he still doesn’t allow you the pleasure, he just pulls out and allows you to move exhausted against the desk. you breathe heavily, glass tears continuing to fall, “‘m sorry, coryo— please forgive me—“

“no,” he scoffs, tucking his softening dick back into his pants, “see you in debate, and change your fucking skirt.”

[writella]

hi, sweetie! Hope you’re doing well. I just had the cutest thought that I wanted to share. And maybe if you want to add on to it as a drabble or something please feel free:) if not, then please just enjoy todays shower thoughts lol.

I’m thinking about a friends with benefits! reader and Daryl who find themselves travelling by canoe for whatever reason. And how they might get into some petty argument or even play fight that ends with them flipping the boat and the two of them just stand in the water, soaking wet and staring blankly at eachother with disappointment. Bangs sticking to your both your foreheads as the canoe slowly floats down the river along with all your dignity.

Take care! xoxo

Rocking the Boat

Synopsis: Daryl has been back home for weeks; the first attack against the Sanctuary is complete; Alexandria, the Kingdom, and the Hilltop are on their way to freedom; but nothing is the same as it was, especially not with you and Daryl. Maybe a house boat side quest will break the ice, or really, make some waves.

Details: This is set during the beginning of season 8, it includes violence, smut, a fwb relationship but feelings are involved, mutual pining, a little bit of switch Daryl and reader, and some sweetness because I think it’s just my thing at this point. ♡

A/N + Response: Hello, lovely miss T ♡ what a fun idea!! I love the imagery you set with the canoe tipping over, especially the bangs so cute— it was one of my favorite parts to write here! This is probably a bit unrealistic and much longer than I intended, so I think I might consider this a full one-shot as well as a concept, and… it’s also a bit sad? Just a little until we get to the good stuff, I promise ;) Anyway I hope you like it; let me know what you think!!

Daryl sat on Rick’s porch, his back against the poles, reloading his guns as you sped up the steps, “I think we should go back to the boats. Now.” Your voice was hurried, you had run all the way from your house, but he didn't even look up at you.

“Why would we do somethin’ stupid like that?” His voice was low, and annoyed. You didn’t expect to be greeted kindly, but at least he sounded like anything other than emotionless to you since the first time you saw him again; since the time he escaped the Sanctuary.

“There’s no one there. I saw it before I got back home. There were people with guns sitting outside the first time we saw it, but now there aren't.”

“A couple of guns ain’t gonna help us.”

“There had to have been a reason they were guarding it before.” Your words were urgent and your eyes pleaded for him to look up. “Any amount of guns could make the difference, Daryl. You know that.” You stare at him, waiting for nothing as he doesn’t respond. “Did you and Rick even find anything before you got back?” You cross your arms, “Cause it doesn’t look like it. And I think I just did.”

You had gotten separated from the group after the first attack against the Sanctuary: you ran without thinking, just trying to get away from the army of walkers stampeding the place. Straying off the usual path to Alexandria, you accidentally reencountered a place you and Daryl only saw once before. It was a time before Negan, before the Saviors. But now, remembering their jackets, and their weapons, and how their bikes looked parked at the shore, you realized those were three Savior cabin boats— fairly sized, a bit rusty, they had a shack like feel, but it was big enough to stand and sleep in. Maybe something of use could be in there, and at least it was something to do while you waited for the final attack.

Similar to Rosita and Michonne, you also got hurt by the scavengers— day zero of the war, when Sasha died— but the girls left you here, they didn’t even tell you they were going, you didn’t even see them leave. But you needed to get out too; you needed to help. “I’m going with or without you.” Your anger started bubbling at his indifference, “And I saw you talking to Tara, I know you’re planning something, so if you want to go off with her and complete your idiot side plan-”

“You’re the one with the dumbass plan.”

“- then that’s fine!” You glare at him, his eyes still so evasive, it infuriates you. “My objective is to find more weapons, before the final attack.” You lied, you both knew your objective was to rest before the final attack, “So I’m gonna go do that.”

You begin to walk briskly. You knew he was going to try to stop you. You knew he was going to come with you when he realized, yet again, he couldn’t stop you, or… you hoped he couldn’t… Sometimes you forget how much stronger he is than you. You had a smart mouth and you knew how to get a reaction out of him, or at least you did in the past, but he could pinned you down with one hand, making you completely immobile— it’s happened before. The thought makes you walk faster, heading for the nearest car. You were trying to make a point although you weren’t sure what it was. You were just tired of sitting around, tired of his treatment— mistreatment, actually. You knew he had reason to act curtly, what he went through was unspeakable, but you were still there for him, waiting, but he never came to you. Not even late at night. Not even to simply sleep.

Just as you’re about to reach the car you feel his hand wrap around your arm, you almost let it yank you. Your breath is a heavy mix of fear and excitement as he does so. Maybe you finally got something out of him. Maybe you still have it. Maybe you still have him. “We don’t got time for this,” he hissed. Then his jaw clenched, it almost looked like he was chewing on something, “but you’re forgetting the boat.”

“It’s a canoe.” You were pushing it with the retort, he was coming.

He grunts as he lets go of your arm, it slapping down to your side. You wait for him by the car as he retrieves the canoe and paddles from one of the house garages. You guys had found it a long while ago, never knowing when it would be of use. That time was now.

The ride toward the waterfront was irritable and depressing to say the least. You wanted to be around Daryl, you wanted to stop him from going off plan with Tara, but most importantly, you just wanted to talk to him; finally and for once. You all were on the biggest missions of your life, in the biggest war of your life… who knows where your fates would lie after this, but he has yet to say anything to you that didn’t involve fighting the Saviors, and even with that, he didn’t say much. He wanted to win. He was ready to do it fast. Whatever it took. That was all.

He kept shifting in his seat, short, low grunts coming out of the side of his mouth— he didn’t want to do this right now, but he knew you were just as stubborn as him, especially when it came to him. As dumb as he felt this was, it wasn’t time for another person he cares about to get hurt.

“Stop fuming,” you muttered.

He snapped back, barking your name, “We’re in a war! We could be doin’ better things right now and got me here for what?”

“Maybe so you don’t kill people we need alive right now?” You were talking about Dwight, you did more than just see Daryl talking to Tara.

His following grunt truly said typical. “You always got your nose where it don’t belong.”

You ignore him, “We should follow Rick’s plan.”

He shakes his head, ignoring you this time. He’s tired of talking about this. He’s going to go on the boat, see if there’s weapons, get Tara, and use whatever you two find to complete his own plan at the Sanctuary. This needs to be done.

“At least it’s a little over 5 miles off the out-post the Kingdom took out,” you reason, “that must be why no one is there anymore.”

Still no response. Typical, it’s your turn to think it. You let go of talking to him for now. The rest of the drive was silent as well as when you get to your destination, starting to put the canoe on water.

You look at the three small, now unguarded, boats. Only one bike was by the land and there was blood splattered on the middle house, the biggest one. Maybe the Kingdom took out the guy that was there, but there were no boats or canoes around, no way for someone to get close enough inside.

You two get in, starting to row. “There better be somethin’ good in there,” Daryl huffed. You hoped so too. Uncertainty started filling in with the reality of your awful plan. There really could be nothing in there and you really could have spent your day doing something that mattered to the cause. If these boats held anything important, why wasn’t a Savior there already? But even worse, the realization that you were acting out of desperation just because Daryl had been acting so cold… felt even more terrible.

You knew Daryl was scarred, far more than before and you were trying to be patient. You were going to let him come to you. You knew he needed time, and he was at the Kingdom for a little bit anyway, hiding out from Negan. You couldn’t even talk to him if you wanted to because of that. But now you had been planning that first attack for weeks, you were sleeping in the same place together again, but not in the same room, not touching. And again, you understood why, but then again… you didn’t. It was so hard to gain his trust, for him to open up to you, you thought that was something you gained for keeps; but now he wasn’t even allowing you to have a friendship anymore, let alone this in-between relationship you used to have. It made you upset how much power you realized you let him have over you. You missed him so much, and now you weren’t even sure if he missed you back, or if he had reason to. Maybe it was just a fling after all.

War feels long, but it’s only a short time in truth. Nonetheless, a short time that can define who you are thereafter. This could be him, and maybe it always was. And this could be how you two will always be. Forever.

You decide to break the silence again as you row, your thoughts becoming insufferable: “That’s actually not the right technique,” you stutter, “if- if you’re curious.” You start to row based on what you taught yourself, the canoe going just a bit faster now, “I read it in a book from Deana’s old library.”

“So you read somethin’ in a book and now you think you know everything?” His eyes were annoyed. “Hmph.”

Your voice raises, “Well just because you’re so experienced in the wilderness or whatever doesn’t mean you know everything either.”

“I’m doin’ it fine.” He wasn’t. “You don’t even know how to swim.” You didn’t. “So maybe just be glad you ain’t dying today.”

You repeat yourself, “Still- doesn’t- mean- you know how to do everything… You expect me to think Merle took you canoeing? Of all things?” You cock your head, “Pretty sure he was out finding the next score.” You knew it was a low blow to bring up the dead brother, but you were upset. No talking and now insults? You could be cold too, even colder, even if you didn’t like it.

“Shut up.”

“You shut up!”

Then you screamed. A walker with gills, swimming in the water approached your boat behind Daryl. Your voice made him turn around to see it. You take your paddle to try to stab it in the head, but the walker’s hands are along the canoe rim, coming closer to you, it makes you accidently hit Daryl with your swing. “Oh- Sorry!”

“Fuck!” He yelled.

“I’m sorry!” A realization comes, “Is this the guy?”

“If it was he’s been dead for a while.” Daryl shouts, taking out his gun and you take out your knife. He’s trying to shoot the walker in the head, it’s closer to your side now. But you’re thrashing and water is flying while you try to jab them in the head with your knife. The walker has one of your arms and you’re trying to pry it away with the hand that has the knife. Neither of you have a clear shot at getting the thing, all three of you rocking the canoe far too much.

“Stay still!” He yells at you.

“Im trying!” You shout with the same force, the same annoyance, “He’s not making it easy, Daryl!”

Daryl has a chance to shoot the walker in the stomach, and he takes it, but it does nothing. The walker’s hands on you do not quit. The two of you just keep yelling at each other, riling the walker up. You can hear the biting sounds they’re making near your arm.

He shoots again, but you and the walker are still moving too much and Daryl’s loosing balance. The walker is tipping the canoe with their hands, water splashing inside. The next bullet goes into the wood, making a hole.

Their starving mouth continues to try to bite at you. You pull using all your strength to get their mouth away, trying to use your other hand to slice into their head. You two have never seen a walker like this: they can swim and they’re so strong.

Water now fills the boat from the hole as Daryl moves forward on the canoe, pushing your head, his hand quite literally covering your whole face to shove you out of the way, getting a clear shot at the walker and firing at their head. He clicks twice: Boom. Boom. Guts and water fly everywhere.

The splashing of the water and the firing of his gun overwhelms all your senses. The weight of Daryl is on your side now, neither of you have balance; both your weights pull the canoe over the edge as it flips over entirely with you under it.

You scream, but your voice is muffled. You thrash around, trying to use what little experience you have. You come above water for a few seconds, wailing, and Daryl grabs you.

“Hey- Hey- Hey!” his words snap, rough like barks until he gets you to look at him, gripping your face so it’s forward. “It’s okay,” he’s breathing almost as heavy as you are. His voice becomes even now, “It’s okay.” You realize he has you in his arms— it really was okay.

Feeling he might make a comment about you almost drowning, you force yourself to speak through water filled lungs, “Don’t. Say it.”

So he didn’t. He just holds you tight, you even feel his thumbs squeezing into you at the waist now, and through half lidded eyes, you see his arms tense, working hard to make sure you never fall, but it’s at a half arm's length, his elbows bent. You blink rapidly, your wet eyelashes still flapping shut until you’re able to open them better. You can see Daryl more clearly now.

You try to swipe some of the hair out of your face. The baby hairs at the crown of your forehead stayed slick in place while some parts of your hair started to lightly form your wave or curl pattern, but in all, you were absolutely drenched.

Your hands now hold onto his forearms just as tight as his below. It was one of those rare moments where you remember just how blue his eyes are. Their narrow shape and the way his hair lays always hides them away. But the sun was behind you, casting its light directly on him and his hair was now slick to his head as well: only some of it resting on his forehead.

If someone were to describe Daryl’s looks, they would probably say something typical like dark and rugged. They don’t see what you see. God, you forgot how uniquely handsome he was.

His hair changed colors in the light, it wasn’t as dark brown anymore, flecks of it were a more golden brown in the sun. And you loved the mole that was just above his lip and facial hair. Almost no one else in the group had something like that. And now, there was the way his button down stuck onto his skin. The color was dark enough that it wasn’t see-through, but you saw every indent, every line of his bicep and tricep as you looked at his arms, trying to avoid his face, trying to avoid his chest or anywhere lower.

On the other hand, Daryl was trying even harder to avoid looking at your soaked body, failing even worse. His eyes couldn’t help but linger on how your chest huffed as you tried to catch your breath. Your collarbones are now exposed as your shirt slides down just a bit further, the light color almost see through because of the water, and your bra didn’t help much either. It was one of those without the padding, it was the only one that fit— your supplies, food and wearable, clean clothing, were running dangerously low at home. The thin material of both top garments showed how your nipples perked up now. And the way he had to grasp tightly on the smalls of your waist, feeling your stomach inhale and exhale as you calmed yourself down didn’t help either. It was like he felt your hold body moving… similar to a way he used to feel it.

It all makes him realize now how he hasn’t gotten the courage to look at you directly in the longest. God, he forgot how pretty you are. How lovely it was to hold you. Even if it was to escape death.

Your eyes are so big as you hold on tightly to his arms, you’re still shaken up. Trying to paddle your feet like you’ve seen on tv and in videos in the past. It’s adorable.

He didn’t dare look any longer, but part of him wondered if you were looking at him the same way. And you were. Specifically, the way you could see every line and ripple of his abdomen with his button up now glued to his body. As you let your eyes trail just a bit more form his arms, you noticed how magnified his chest looked, how his nipples were just as pert as yours.

It all made you feel something warm down below and it made something inside him twitch, but this wasn’t the time. He had been feeling so many things since he returned that he didn’t even know which ones to act upon first, so he reverted back to saying nothing, or at least nothing that had to do with how he really felt, how he really felt about you that is.

In the end, “You better hope I can make one of those shits run or we’re fucked,” was all he decided to say.

He moves your hands onto the back sides of his waist and he starts to swim. Your legs are off to the sides and he tells you to kick as he is and hold on tight as he swims you both to the middle boathouse, the one with the blood.

You hold onto the ledge as you finally arrive, allowing Daryl to go in first, checking for walkers at each boat. He does the side ones first. No one is there. Finally, he goes to the middle house: out of all of them, it’s the biggest wreck. The place is filled with pictures, Polaroids, scattered all over the place. It’s of the Saviors. And there’s all kinds of guns scattered on the floor, but he can’t help but to stare at the faces. He knew some of those faces.

You call his name, but he doesn’t respond. “What was in the other two?” You yell for him again, but nothing. You decide to go in the middle one as well, your eyes are amazed by the mess of guns on the floor. There were even ones still hooked up to the wall. There were knives and daggers too. Even glass cases with various bullets, you wondered what they did. Was this the emergency weapons stash? Had you reached it before a Savior could? “Why aren’t you picking this stuff up?” You look up at him impatiently, shaking your head and huffing, you’ll do it yourself you guess.

Daryl continues to look around, picking up a frame. The only framed picture in the boat. It was cracked on the ground: A Polaroid of Negan.

He takes the picture out of the broken glass to look at it closer. As if this wasn’t already the attitude of much of the Saviors, whoever lived and protected this place must have worshiped him. Negan stood proudly in it, his bat on the side of his shoulders, a big rifle strapped around his back on the other. His hair and beard was all black, and that notorious, all encompassing grin plastered his face from ear to ear. Daryl turned the picture over: the words, ‘Negan — The First Savior. My Savior,’ was written on the back.

It fired him up. It made him think of the dark, of that cell, of the food that probably wasn’t even food, when he was kicked and jumped by those Saviors in the parking lot, and that damn song— the saccharine melody would live on in his brain like a siren. There would never be silence inside him again. In fact, there never was. It was only louder now. So loud and so angry he feels it in his throat, traveling to his tongue, beneath his eyes, as he can no longer keep it in anymore; but he tries, and tries, and tries, quietly holding everything in while you keep collecting weapons, putting them in bags you find. The picture crumples in his closing hand, his fist turning red as he grips tightly, ruining the shining paper.

He slides down against the boat wall, sitting on the ground biting his tongue, stopping the feelings until you're done; until you two can leave and he can do what he needs to do. It’ll be without you, without Rick, without anyone. This needs to be done. He’ll do it.

“Daryl,” you call out, not facing him, collecting the bags. “I think I counted 32, but it could be 40… I think there’s smaller ones by the wheel and I didn’t even get the swords yet. If there's about the same number on the other two, there could be maybe over 100 new weapons,” you gasp with disbelief. “Were the other two like this?“

You we’re relieved, you knew it was a dumb plan, but you came out of it with a win; it was worth it. “Daryl, come on-” you turn to him now, “oh.”

You almost couldn’t see his eyes with how much more narrow he made them, they were practically closed and his face was down. You wondered if this was the moment you would first see him cry: his lip quivered, his face was as red as his fists, and he wouldn’t look in your direction, his head was basically to the wall as you started to walk to him.

Your movements are slow as you kneel down to the corner in which he sat. You place fingers along his jaw until your whole hand wraps around the area. Your strokes are gentle, feeling the bristles of his beard on your palm. He had been so angry since he returned, hell bent on war and death, but you remembered… he must have also been so sad, so depressed too. Poor boy, you thought. Poor boy, you forgot; in some ways, he still was just a boy.

You turn his cheek to face you, but his eyes don’t dare meet yours as a few tears start rolling out. Your own emerge too. It’s heartbreaking to see him like this.

You put your forehead to his, your nose rubbing against his own, “I’m so sorry,” you whisper.

You come even closer. Your lips lightly touch his, you’re tentative at first, not knowing if it was right, but then you feel his brush against yours just as light. You decide to move in, your lips parting his own as you kiss him.

Your tongue goes into his mouth, your hand raising his chin, you’re so delicate. He holds your shoulder, you lean into his bent body and your other hand slides against his chest. You’re both still wet and cold, but his heart beats warmly.

His head leans up against the wall as you push yourself further onto his lips. You hold his shoulders and he allows you to slide him down.

You look up at him, your hands on his shirt. This is not how you expected today to go. “Is this okay?” You ask softly. His nod is just as soft, you almost don’t see it, but his hands are lightly on top of your own as you unbutton his shirt, he lets you. It’s okay.

He’s unbuckling his belt now, pushing his pants down and your top goes over your head. He starts to unbutton your own jeans. It’s quiet except for your breaths, and the clinking of belts, and the undoing of zippers.

You pull him out a little more from the corner so you can straddle him. You start grinding your hips down into him and he pushes into your clit with his finger, circling it. The bit of warmness you felt below before is now almost pooling out instantly from just the littlest touches. Your back arches, you haven’t felt him in so, so long. You gasp and it accidentally turns into a moan. You’re so needy for it, but you remember: you want to help him.

Your hands move down to his stomach, your lips kiss his neck as your hands travels up to his chest and then back down, you start kissing him everywhere there as you do so, breathing him in, it makes him fidgety, little gruff sounds irruption from his throat, he’s trying to keep it in. Then you got even lower: you kiss down his cock until you’re at the tip. You lick at the pre-cum there. You put just a little bit of him inside your mouth, sucking, stroking the rest of it. His exhale comes out as a shaky gasp, he whimpers slightly.

Finally, you move back up and line yourself up with him, sinking down slowly as you look him in the eyes. You can’t help it, you start to ride him immediately thereafter. The stretch feels so good and so big and full as if you’ve never felt him before. Your moan is light and airy, you missed him. And he groans, “-ugh, fuck” and moans, “uh- mm- argh,” right after you do so. He missed you. You know that now, it makes you smile.

You lean up against him slightly. His mouth parted and you speak into it, your breast brushing against him as you rolled onto him, your stomached touching a bit. “I’ve got you,” you pant into his mouth, he’s panting too, “always.”

He holds onto your hips as you go faster, you’re holding onto his shoulders. “Does it feel good?” You kiss him right after you ask, his tongue going to the top of your mouth, sliding in wet and deliciously, it’s everything you’ve waited for. He hums into you as a response. You feel his dick twitch as your pussy grips on him tighter.

You feel like you both could be close until he starts kissing you more fiercely. His tongue only slipping in slightly as he pecks your lips, he bites down slightly, then kissing you deeply again. Then he turns you over. You’re under him now. His hands go right by your ears, flat on the ground and he thrusts into you. Hard. It almost hurts, you can’t lie. He’s grunting, short and quick, but his rasp, and his hair flying as he quickens the pace, and the fact that pain is slowly turning into pleasure… you’re fine with it. If this is what he needs, you’re fine with it.

His next grunt is almost a yell, it’s like a battle cry. He’s angry and you know it. You hold onto his flex arms tenderly, caressing him, silently telling him you’re there, but you allow him to continue.

His movements are faster now. More irate. His body comes closer to yours, but his movements do not stop their force. His thrusts feels like poundings, you feel like the floor is moving, maybe the boat is rocking, the bags jump with it.

He looks at your screwed shut eyes as one of his hands comes to touch your chest. Trailing your breast, then to the bottom of your stomach, staying there, pressing down, feeling himself inside of you has he shoves himself up and in, he’s deep, so deep. “Mmm,” You’re whining now, “-uuh.” It makes his eyes lighten, he’s humming, low and gruff and continuous, stuttering into you, eyes open waiting to see you come so then he can. It’s right there for him, but he wants to see you, he needs it.

Your moan mixes into a whine, “Daryl please,” you beg, “Daryl please- it’s- it’s too much, it hurts,” it makes him go even faster, and he can’t help himself as he comes in you first, sighing as he does so, but it’s exactly what you need to come undone yourself.

You grab the back of his neck, holding it close to you as you squeeze your arms around him and he does the same to your waist.

You both try to calm your breaths, “Never leave me again,” you say into his ear, breathing roughly. “Please.”

“Never.” He looks at you right in the eye when repeats it, “Never.” He wipes the tears from your face as you both nod, affirming a new promise to each other. “We’ll win. Together.”

After laying for a few moments, just looking at each other, he goes to the bathroom to find a washcloth, warming it with water, helping you clean up. He takes your hand so you can start doing it yourself and he kisses your forehead before he starts to get dressed. “I’ll be back.”

Soon enough, you hear the engine in the front start to rev up. He got it to work.

“You can drive a boat?”

“Gonna learn.” He turns to you, pulling you in front resting your hands on the wheel while he stands behind, his arms over your own. “We both are.”

[anonymous-dentist]

A very confusing day in the Merpepito AU

Richarlyson is being weird.

...Okay, so Richarlyson is usually weird, but now he's being super weird! Maybe he's dying. He has a worm in his brain eating it or something. Oh! Or there is a sea cucumber growing between his ears!

Pepito isn't a doctor, but he thinks that Richarlyson might actually be dying. Because there's no other reason why Richarlyson would be hanging out with Apa Roier so much.

It's been a week since the Sky fell, and maybe Richarlyson got hit by a piece of the Sky and his brain started bleeding, because he's decided that he's Apa Roier's new best friend. (Which is crazy because Apa Roier doesn't have friends! He always says so.)

Every morning, Richarlyson sits next to Apa Roier at breakfast. He helps Apa Roier with his chores. He brings Apa Roier cups of water when it starts getting hot out. He eats lunch next to Apa Roier. He tells Apa Roier that he'll take care of his afternoon chores so Apa Roier can take a siesta. He eats dinner next to Apa Roier. He calls Apa Roier cool, he says that Apa Roier is the strongest Pepito he's ever seen, he says that he hopes that Apa Roier stays forever on the ship.

It's weird! Richarlyson has to be dying.

...But maybe Apa Roier is dying, too, because he's been talking to Richarlyson a lot over the past week. He saves Richarlyson a seat at the table between himself and Captain Celbi, but he's never saved Pepito a seat. He says that he's going to teach Richarlyson how to fight, but he won't teach Pepito how to fight.

But it's fine! Pepito isn't upset at all! Pepito is happy that Apa Roier is making friends... even if his new friend is the person who hates Pepito the most.

Pepito doesn't interfere. Pepito keeps doing Pepito's chores: helping Richarlyson and Pomme mop the deck, helping Mister Pac sort through foods in the kitchen, helping Mister Felps tie knots. Miss Mouse says that she's gonna teach Pepito how to do magic soon, and Miss Baghera wants to teach Pepito how to draw and read maps.

Pepito likes being a pirate. It's super fun! Pepito likes the ocean, and Pepito likes the stars- and his best friend, the Moon. Pepito likes helping around the ship. Pepito likes watching Captain Celbi at the wheel. (He's so cool!)

...Pepito just misses Ama Rivers and Apa Carre and Apa Mariana and Apa Quackity and Awuelo Foolish and Leo and Empi and Sunny a lot. And Pepito thinks that Apa Roier misses them, too.

He has to.

But Apa Roier has been smiling a lot, recently. He smiles when he's near Captain Celbi, and he smiles when he's with Richarlyson. Sometimes he smiles when he's with Pepito, but not always.

He doesn't smile when he's talking to Captain Celbi about Pepito's brother. Bobby always makes people sad, though, so Pepito doesn't think about that too much.

Pepito thinks about Pirate Things instead, because Pepito is going to be the Best Pirate Ever!

Apparently, Pepito is a really Good Pirate because Captain Celbi wants to talk to Pepito alone in his office!

Pepito is sooooooo getting promoted! He won't just be the ship's Pepito, he'll be the ship's Pirate Pepito. He'll get a fancy pirate hat and everything; Richarlyson doesn't have a fancy pirate hat, so Apa Roier is going to look at Pepito and pick him up and tell him that he's such a Good Pepito that he's going to sit with Pepito at dinner and teach Pepito how to fight!

"Now, Pepito, I called you in here for a very good reason," Captain Celbi says as soon as Pepito is sitting (evilly!!) in the chair in front of his desk.

Pepito nods, serious.

Captain Celbi takes that as a sign to continue: "I understand that you're Roier's son?"

Pepito nods. Pepito is Apa Roier's Pepito!

Captain Celbi sighs, relieved. "Okay, good."

And then Captain Celbi's face falls. He almost looks ready to cry- his face is all red and his eyes are all wide and he looks really super freaked out.

"What does your dad like?" Captain Celbi asks, face all scrunched up like he's in pain. He sticks his hands up under his hat and pulls at his hair so hard that his knuckles knock the hat off of his head. The pointy things on the top of his head lay flat, unable to be seen through his hair.

Pepito blinks. Apa Roier likes Bobby? But, no, Bobby just makes Apa Roier cry. Hmm...

Captain Celbi groans and slumps back in his chair, his wrists and arms covering his face.

"He's impossible," he moans. "Every time I've tried subtly asking him, he's just shrugged!"

That sounds like Apa Roier. He's never liked talking about himself. Pepito didn't even know his name until all of the other Ocean Pepitos yelled at and made Apa Roier take Pepito home.

"He's always just-" (Captain Celbi's Pointy Things twitch, and he pitches his voice up in an impression.) "-'Hey, man! I don't know, man! I like lots of things, man! I like fish!' Like!" (He drops his impression and his hands, sitting up in frustration.) "What fish!? We're on the ocean! There are lots of fish in the ocean!"

Pepito nods sagely. There are lots of fish in the ocean. Captain Celbi is very smart, that's why he's the captain!

Captain Celbi rubs his eyes with his thumb and pointer finger.

"He deserves something nice," he sighs, much quieter and much calmer. "Better than fish. He deserves... gold. Silver. Diamonds. Rubies. He deserves good things."

Apa Roier has never been one for shiny things. That's always been Apa Quackity, even though he can't ever afford anything shiny because of how many times the Sea Witch has blown up his house with Sea Witch Magic, and Awuelo Foolish, who is basically the King of the Reef.

Apa Roier likes fish. He likes Bobby. He hates pirates. He likes crabs. He likes blue and red coral. He likes Miss Niki's candy. He likes-

Captain Celbi looks at Pepito seriously. "I need your help, Pepito. I want to get your father a really nice gift. It has to be perfect."

Pepito looks at the notepad on Captain Celbi's desk.

Following Pepito's gaze, Captain Celbi slides the paper over along with a pen.

Pepito hums, and he thinks. What does Apa Roier like most?

Aha!

Pepito draws exactly what Apa Roier would like! Once he's done, he flips the notepad around to show Captain Celbi with a triumphant grin.

"Pepito," says Captain Celbi, smiling only a little, "that's a picture of me."

Pepito nods. Captain Celbi makes Apa Roier really happy! The perfect gift!

Captain Celbi sighs, and he leans across the desk to ruffle Pepito's hair.

"That's a good thought," he says, "but let's try and think of something I can buy him."

Ooooooh! Okay!

Pepito turns the page and starts to think again. Something you can buy...

Oh! Pepito knows!

So, Awuelo Foolish has this friend named Mister Vegetta, and Awuelo Foolish wanted to give Mister Vegetta the BEST gift ever. So Awuelo Foolish found the most perfect shell at the Bottom of the Ocean, and he put it on a string of kelp, and he gave it to Mister Vegetta, and now they're Best Friends! They have sleepovers every night and they kiss a lot, which Pepito thinks that Married Pepitos do, but Awuelo Foolish and Mister Vegetta aren't Married Pepitos yet, they're just Best Friends who make each other super happy.

So Pepito draws the shell, and he draws the string, and he even draws Captain Celbi giving Apa Roier the necklace.

He holds the picture up to Captain Celbi, and Captain Celbi grins.

"That's perfect, Pepito," he says. "The next time we're near a beach, you and I are going to find your dad the perfect seashell."

YES!! Another secret mission with Captain Celbi!

Take that, Richarlyson! You might be friends with Apa Roier now, but are you going on secret missions with the captain? Nuh-uh!

Pepito is the best pirate ever!!!

--------

To Be Continued...

[atsadi-shenanigans]

You Could Just Ask

Summary:

“You still gonna be a jackass to our friends instead of just asking me to pleasure you?” you say. He swallows. His adam’s apple bobs. “If this is my reward, absolutely.” He can’t see you smile at this angle. He can feel your grip leave his cock to slide your fingers through his hair before you grab. Still slow, still steady, giving him plenty of opportunity to stop you. He don’t. He lets you pull his head back, bare his throat, and only whimpers and shivers against you.

Or: Astarion is terrible about communicating what he wants. But Eleanor is getting good at translating gremlin.

Astarion has been in a fucking mood for two days now. It’s driving you nuts, it’s driving everybody nuts, and by all accounts, it’s driving him nuts. Ain’t nobody can put a finger on it, neither. He’s well fed, y’all went on a murder spree day before yesterday, and he even found a nice, silk jacket to wear around camp.

Man’s got it made.

And decided to be a bitch about it.

You sit at the breakfast fire, needlessly poking at the embers with a stick while he makes snide swipes at Gale’s cooking (which he don’t eat), Karlach’s clutter (she just found a stuffed owlbear to match Clive), and Lae’zel sharpening her weapons (he got a point, there).

Even Wyll stares at the fire, shoulders set in a tense line. Something’s gonna snap if somebody don’t do something.

“It’s not as if you can deal any real damage,” Astarion says to Shadowheart, who tried to get him off Gale’s ass and is now taking the brunt of it. “We all saw how accurate your spells were in the temple.”

She looks all cool and collected. Just lifts one of her eyebrows. But her knuckles are white as her fists tremble. Shadowheart fought off the mother superior of her former, well, it ain’t called a church, here. But she fought the bitch and won and she paid for it.

“That’s it.” You stand

Astarion clocks the movement and turns to face you (stares down his nose at you; or tries to since you two are the same damn height).

“Y’all wanna head out?” you say over your shoulder to the others as they stash their day gear into their packs. “I think we’ll stay here, today.”

“Gladly,” Gale mutters in an outside voice.

“Welcome to it,” Karlach says which means hoo-boy, even she’s getting pissy.

Wyll gives you a blank look, that slowly morphs into a sly “good luck” sort of grin. Turd. Everybody thinks the Blade of Frontiers is so upstanding, much nobility, wow. But Wyll is a sly little shit, is what he is. He just hides it real good until it’s time to strike.

They all shuffle on outta there double quick. Astarion watches them go as he checks his nails for damage that ain’t there.

Then you’re alone—well and truly, Shadowheart and her half-elven hearing—and you turn to your exasperating lover.

“The fuck was all that?” you say.

He just looks at you, all unimpressed. Sniffs. “What was what, dear? You’ll have to be more specific.”

You will not throw your camp slipper at him. He dodges too well, and then you got to go fetch the damn thing before either Scratch of Sweetums gets it and demolishes it (or drops it in the river, bad dog) (but not really bad bad dog, and he got pets later on, anyway).

“You’re being a dick,” you say.

To which he, predictably, rolls his eyes. “As if it’s my fault we’re surrounded by incompetent idiots.”

His gaze flicks down. Just for a second. You almost miss it, but it landed on the top of your tunic. You got yourself a new one of those, too. But only to wear around camp, cause it’s got itself a damn titty window under some satin neck straps. Astarion’s pupils flare wide a second, and then he glares at you as if challenging you to comment.

You been together several times, in several way by now. He usually initiates (you did once). But you got a suspicion.

You step closer. Reach out slow and careful to crook your finger over the top of his trousers, since he tucks his shirt in and all. Then you pull, slow and steady, leave him plenty of time and distance to stop you or pull away.

But his pupils dilate again, and he steps into you. Lets you drag him flush against your front.

“Astarion,” you say. The man actually licks his lips. “Did you get horny and decide to be an asshole to everybody about it?”

A hint of a smile tugs his lips before he buries that under scorn. “Of course not.”

But you’re learning his tells. The way his gaze hovers over your face, darts down to the titty window and the hint of cleavage like a hummingbird. Also the less than subtle grind against you as he says it.

“Were you being a dick to get us alone?” you say.

A pause, this time. His voice wobbles a touch when he says, “No.”

You lean in. Catch the way his face tilts to meet you.

“I think you’re lying,” you say against his lips. “I think you want me alone, and I think you went all bratty so I’d feel ornery about it.”

His inhale stutters. A minute shiver runs through him. “And what would you do if you were, ahem, ‘ornery?’”

It’s mind boggling how much things’ve changed in the months since y’all met. Since the disastrous first days of…this. That you can be here now, with him, talking like this? It’s a minor miracle.

He’s so fully pressed into you you can feel his cock twitch even through the cotton trousers.

“Did you do all this so I’d fuck you?” you say. You cannot keep the smile off your face or outta your voice.

He finally cracks. Closes his eyes and runs his lips over yours. Drawls, “Maybe.”

“Is it the strap?” you say. He’d picked it out and purchased it in the city, and then the nice sex shop man showed you how to put it on and, well, implied how to use it. And clean it (that part was very explicit, detailed instructions.)

The tip of his tongue swipes your upper lip. His hands ghost up your sides.

“Would you?” he says.

He takes charge in the sheets. But he bought that dildo to use on him, and he seemed to enjoy it when you did (he whimpered as you fucked him).

You’re learning what you like in terms of dirty talk (it’s surprisingly graphic). He’s an excellent teacher. So you gird your loins, ignore the heat all the way down your neck, and open your mouth. “You want me to spread you wide on my cock and fuck you all better?”

He sucks in a gasp. “Gods, darling, yes.”

Then his lips crash into yours and you’re both stumbling towards y’all’s shared tent.

The rest on AO3 for very, very rated E reasons.

[mariacallous]

It’s telling that both Dave Chappelle and Ricky Gervais decided to end 2023 by releasing specials in which their comedy pivots to poking fun at the disabled. Could they be more obvious about finding new ways to punch down than targeting people physically unable to fight back?

In a false promise near the opening of his brand-new special and seventh for Netflix, The Dreamer, Chappelle boasts: “Tonight, I’m doing all handicapped jokes,” because “well, they’re not as organized as the gays, and I love punching down.”

Similarly, Gervais decides to have a bit of fun at how we’ve decided as a society to say “disabled” instead of “handicapped” and what that says about us, and suggests further in his special Armageddon, released on Christmas Day, that he’d mock Make-A-Wish kids if given the chance to make videos for them.

And, of course, both men take yet more cracks at the trans community.

Early in The Dreamer, Chappelle tells the audience trans people make him feel like he has to go along with them pretending, as if they’re method acting like Jim Carrey as Andy Kaufman: “If you came here to this show tonight thinking that I’m gonna make fun of those people again, you’ve come to the wrong show,” only to keep going back on his word.

He says he hoped to “repair” his relationship with the LGTBQ+ community – by writing a play for them in which a black trans woman only identifies as the N-word to trip up liberals. He also jokes that if he went to jail in California, he’d identify as a woman so he could tell the other inmates to “suck my lady dick.”

But it’s all just jokes, right? Can’t we just take a joke? Have we lost our sense of humor? Or have they?

Earlier this month, we lost two pillars not just of the comedy community but of our American community writ, as Norman Lear and Tommy Smothers stood taller than most anyone and everyone else in television, standing up to the establishment and protesting the powers that be for the sake of civil rights and humanity.

Now we’re left with Chappelle and Gervais—two titans in terms of Netflix ratings and paychecks—who are fighting for… the right to utter slurs onstage and tell already marginalized people that their existence is a joke for reasons that are nearly impossible to divine. Especially when there’s so much in the world to talk about right now, that they’ve chosen anti-trans rights as their comedy cause célèbre is dispiriting. As Mae Martin said in their 2023 Netflix special, Sap: “Big multimillionaire comedians in their stand-up specials are, like, taking shots and punching down at a time when trans rights are so tenuous and slipping backwards.”

Lear and Smothers used their clout on TV to speak truth to power about America’s involvement in Vietnam and Southeast Asia, the hypocrisy of religion, racism, abortion, homosexuality and civil rights. While great trans comedians such as River Butcher and Jaye McBride resorted to releasing their stand-up specials straight to YouTube this year, which famous straight comedians can you recall sticking up for the rights of trans people in America?

It feels so frustrating to sit and watch comedians with the stature of Chappelle and Gervais devote so much of their time and energy to bullying the LGBTQ+ community when they could be doing anything else on stage. And then they have the temerity to question us, the audience, for not laughing with them.

For his part, Gervais willingly misdefines and misuses “woke” by suggesting, “if woke now means being a puritanical, authoritarian bully who gets people fired for an honest opinion or even a fact, then no, I’m not woke. Fuck that.” Is Nazism or transphobia an honest opinion that shouldn’t get you fired? He then claims in his closing bit that “all laughter’s good,” a concept that would be news to 2005-era Chappelle when he cut ties with Comedy Central precisely because he could hear racism in the laughs during a taping of Chappelle’s Show.

In his Grammy-nominated lecture to students at his alma mater, Duke Ellington School of the Arts, What’s In A Name?, Chappelle claimed: “The more you say I can’t say something, the more urgent it is for me to say it. It has nothing to do with what you’re saying I can’t say. It has everything to do with my right and my freedom of artistic expression.”

But that’s not comedy, either—much like Gervais’ admission in his special that as a university student, his idea of a joke was calling his mother and pranking her by saying he was hospitalized and potentially blind. Gervais said her mom could’ve had a heart attack, but in his mind, he remembers it now as “they could take a fucking joke, right?”

At least Sam Jay, in her 2023 HBO special Salute Me Or Shoot Me, wrestles with her conscience and moral compass over the use of certain words in her act and concludes that having empathy for others is key. “How do the rest of us get here? I don’t know… I’m not going to pretend that I have the answers,” Jay says, adding: “So we’re doing things like we’re policing words, but we’re not policing behavior.”

Anthony Jeselnik, who has built his comedy career on brandishing himself as an offensive caricature of a comedian, told fellow comedian and podcaster Theo Von earlier this year that too many stand-ups would rather get into trouble by saying the wrong thing instead of focusing on their job and saying funny things.

“People think — oh, as a comic your job is to get in trouble. But they don’t want to get yelled at. It’s like, it’s OK to make people mad, but they don’t want any push back. And I think that’s wrong,” Jeselnik said. “As a comedian, you want to make people laugh. This is a quote attributed to Andy Warhol that I love: ‘Art is getting away with it.’ You know, if you put out a special and everyone’s pissed, like, you didn’t get away with it. You know. You need to make everyone laugh that they’re like, ‘Yeah, he talked about some fucked up stuff, but we’re all happy.’ That’s art. Otherwise, you’re just a troll.”

Kliph Nesteroff, a comedy historian whose newest book is Outrageous: A History of Showbiz and the Culture Wars, similarly told me last month that some while comedians see themselves sometimes as “philosophers” he believes they are “betraying their job description because you’re supposed to make people laugh, and philosophers are supposed to philosophize.”

Comedians may claim they can’t joke about anything anymore, but they joke about more now than ever before. The real problem with stand-up today is that too many comedians would rather kick people when they’re down, then lecture us on how we’re too sensitive for not laughing about it.

When Chappelle, Gervais or their acolytes have to incessantly explain that their jokes are just jokes, then they cease to be great comedians—or even comedians at all.

[starberry-cupcake]

I have made up from last time that was about only one chapter, this time we have 5 in a row. We finished act one, fam!

previously, in harrowbean the ninth:

this happened

I want to also thank you for all your nice comments and replies, I read every single one, I promise ♥

ch. 7 to 11 summarized terribly, here we go:

it's time to cross the river

difficult task to perform

as someone who lives literally surrounded by rivers, in every direction, I can relate

my rivers don't carry ghouls though, as far as I know

I mean, there are ghost and cryptid legends, but not ghouls that stick to the windshield of a spaceship like bugs

like these ones do

so harrow and yandere twin aren't doing fantastic

yandere twin loses it in like the first 2 seconds

harrow sees the ghosts of all the ninth kids who died for her to be alive

there's water also, but that part sounds very relaxing, actually

getting covered by water but not needing to breath

I'd be there forever tbh

but we can't, because ghoulies

mercygirl is still doing sound effects like kronk

btw we're changing her name to mercygirl because it's what I've been calling her now

I have been told by a number of you that mercygirl is your camilla so I apologize for disrespecting your blorbina

I might do it again, if the situation arises, though

mercygirl is piloting the ship and emperor the fool is just chillin' until he realizes harrow is walking about and doing theorems, which they didn't think she'd be in a state to do, so they didn't tell her not to do it

these people half-assing plans, who would have thought

mercygirl calls the emperor john

emperor johnnyboy tries telling harrow to come back from her state because she's in too deep and it's becoming dangerous

mercygirl stars talking about the death of cassiopeia (another name that's easy to remember)

says cassiopeia had a ceramics collection, which makes her worthy of all my respect

harrow was thinking "five", idk what it's about

next thing we know, we're back to our gideonless retelling of gideon

in this version, teacher explains things

he says the house was inhabited previously by "ten normal human beings of the Resurrection, though half were blessed already with necromantic gifts"

I'm tired of MATH

he says they left blueprints, he tells them about the Sleeper, he tells them how not to awaken it, he tells them about the trap door, he tells them what's under the trap door, he asks them to work together...

you know what this is like

it's like reading gideon was entering a new game and skipping every tutorial they give you

and reading this is like clicking every NPC's info and reading all that they say

ANYWAY, here is where ortus 1...

wait, this is going to be confusing

I want to call ortus from the ninth "ortus 1" and the new guy "ortus 2"

because ninth ortus was the first to show up

but new ortus is actually older and also is ortus the first

we're gonna go with ortus and lyctor!ortus, for now

so, as I was saying, this is were ortus starts becoming much more insistent in these "flashbacks" about him not being the right choice

which, he's not wrong

we know he's not wrong

and harrow is saying stuff like "unless you can summon matthias nonius" (matthias nonius is becoming a recurrent thing, let's remember harrow compared gideon to him at one point)

and ortus goes "I don't understand why you chose me" to which harrow says "there was nobody else" and ortus exasperatedly says "you never did posses an imagination"

VERY IMPORTANT THING

a skeleton turns around when they're walking and says "is this how it happens?"

we'll come back to that shortly

REMEMBER IT

(I know you all remember it, you've read this already, just act like I'm dora the explorer and play along)

next chapter starts in not!dulcinea's funeral

I'm sad I used the oliver queen grave meme already, I can't use it again to express my feelings

I'm gonna use the steel magnolias scene where they laugh at the funeral instead

so, we are introduced to the famous augustine who's name I will remember

there's some conversation about first and second generations and about not!dulcinea being chosen, and Emperor Johnny Bravo says "we were all there to meet her, all sixteen of us"

MORE MATH

I guess she was the last one of these, but maybe we knew that already, I feel we knew that already

apparently, not!dulcinea was the most reluctant to slurp her cavalier, but that didn't stop any of them, not even her, so

Emperor Johnny Quest says "for god's sake" and harrow thinks "the god who became a man and yet still invoked himself, apparently"

when she's right, she's right

that's better commentary than I could make

I have to respect augustine a little bit because he asked "which one of the kiddies did her in?" and I thought that was hilarious

he is called the saint of patience, which makes my previous comment about them being named via sarcasm very correct

it's like captain planet or the power rangers but chosen as funnily as possible

they start summoning lyctor!ortus by saying that he's interested in "you-know-what", which is both suspicious and childish and the vibes of these lyctors are all over the place

augustine thinks something's wrong, which is an understatement at this point, but ok

lyctor!ortus comes in as if summoned by the gossip and harrow calls him "the next terrible part of your life" which is saying something

lyctor!ortus comes with news of the seventh beast or whatnot that's trailing them

harrow bleeds from her ears and smashes her head on the next available surface to pass out

the mood

who could blame her

this lyctor job is terrible

it's like the end of drop dead gorgeous and harrow is kristen dunst

I'm not explaining that, in case you haven't watched a classic

we are back to the "flashbacks" and we've got a special appearance from the fifth

*studio audience claps and cheers*

they say they prefer to look into books than going downstairs, which is something one would consider if one had known what the fuck was downstairs from the start

abigail also does sound effects like mercygirl, it's catching on

abigail finds a piece of a recipe note that mentions an M and a Nigella

still no G&P

we know nigella is the cav of cassiopeia, the ceramics collector

I remember nigella's name because of the cook, which makes it funnier that it's a recipe

M could be mercygirl

abigail also gives harrow a note

abigail says that she'd like to summon the ghost of a lyctor but she's not sure how that could work or where they go when they die

ortus, magnus and abigail, in this gideonless version, are a polycule

I am convinced of that

while they're talking, magnus says "is this really how it happens?"

REMEMBER I SAID WE'D BRING THAT BACK

IT'S BACK

abigail starts telling harrow that she's got the energy of a lot of dead kids in her and harrow storms out

harrow gets angry when ortus calmly agrees about things and she doesn't want to look into why

I WONDER WHY THAT IS

harrow looks at abby's note again and now there's text on it

it's a longer version of the note she found before

it's a rant

it mentions dead eggs, implantation, some guy being sent after the OP, said guy taking pity on OP

OP is mad about all of this and doesn't use punctuation

what ortus reads isn't what harrow reads, once again

NOW THIS BIT

"ortus, I need a cavalier with a backbone" "You always did and I am glad, I think, that I never became that cavalier"

the gideon points keep adding up

harrow then goes to sleep and is like this

final thing in act I, in chapter 11, is harrowbean stabbing not!dulcinea again, which

always make sure, it's like resident evil in here

just in case, let's stab her a bunch of times

so, are these "flashbacks" happening in real time whenever harrow isn't conscious?

is it her trying to remember what actually happened?

or is it her trying to hide it?

was there actually a longer period of time between the defeat of not!dulcinea and the emperor Jon Arbuckle coming to pick them up?

a period of time in which harrow learned things that made her write those letters?

and in which something happened regarding gideon?

is the note of the implantation also related?

why was gideon born in space?

of course I'm not asking you, please don't spoil anything, I'm just asking the void of desperation and chaos right now

we'll see if any of this gets answered soon or if I just get more questions

also, guess who wasn't mentioned

see you on the next one!! I'll try to get back to the awesome replies I've been getting soon ♥

[heartshapedbubble]

Hi can I request Andrew, Luca, William, Wu Chang and Antonio reacting to having an s/o that can crush a watermelon between her thighs.

this req made me shit bricks when i first received it in august LMFAOOOO this was so fun to write anon thank you so much for this/gen

andrew, luca, william, wu chang and antonio reacting to their s/o crushing a watermelon between their thighs🕸⚡🏈☂️🎻

andrew kreiss🕸

he is... confused to say the least

when you first did it he jumped out of fear thinking you hurt yourself by doing so

this man would probably burst into flames after one pretzel stick he has NO idea how to react

....he'd be lying if he said it doesn't interest him though

like. he is INCREDIBLY lost and maybe even disturbed but like. do it again

"is this something they do to sinners in hell? can you use it as self defense? does it hurt your thighs?" a bit gulity of asking these questions ngl but he can't help it

might start avoiding you after that... simply out of fear that it was a bad omen and that you might try crushing his skull instead when he messes up in the games LMAO

william ellis🏈

not shocked at all

he didnt even fucking flinch when it burst he just stood there with his usual 😃 face

"hehe. nice. now watch me" (proceeds to crush a watermelon with his own thighs)

tbh william can be competitive as hell and he would somehow make a competition out of this too

after that whenever y'all ate watermelon in the manor he always shouted "DID YOU GUYS KNOW ___ CAN CRUSH WATERMELONS WITH THEIR THIGHS¿¿¿¿¿ GO ON ___ SHOW THEM!!!!"

might ask you details on how you train/build your thighs just in case...there's always room for self-improvement

next time he sees you he's going to whip out two watermelons and ask you if you can crush both at the same time (cheeky bastard)

luca balsa⚡

mans is just losing his shit at it

"how do you do it??????? how long did you have to build your legs for this??? at what angle does it crush the fastest/easiest???? what technique did you use???" like andrew but with zero self control or fear

so intrigued he'll whip out the nerd glasses and the notepad to study it. bring a few extra watermelons cause once he begins you'll realize it's gonna be a looooong day

i kinda think that he'd be more interested in the physics aspect of it than the crushing itself tbh

after enough research he would try to crush one with his own thighs

...which didn't really go well🥲he's got chopstick legs but we still love him

that absolutely did not discourage him though. he'll find a way to do it himself. somehow. one day.

wu chang☂️

their reactions are quite different

at first they just kinda... side eye each other. not condescendigly tho they just have to clarify they're both seeing the same thing since they didn't expect this when you told them you have a suprise for them

xie is like ☺ "thats... very cute honey!! i'm very proud of you!!!! you've been working very hard!!!!"

no idea how to properly react or process it really but since you seem really happy about it he simply has to share your enthusiasm okay!!! xie the world

fan just smirks. "now crush a pumpkin."

this motherfucker is going to tease you and give you more and more impossible physical challenges just to make you all red in your face and see you angrily give up just crush his head instead at this point

would rather drown himself in that goddamn river again than admit out loud that it's absolutely badass but it becomes obvious after some time. he's not an emotional mastermind after all

antonio paganini🎻

not overwhelmed by it either! hes just chill like dat

he finds it so funny actually - he's grown tired of all the elegant plays and balls that he experienced while playing for royalty so this little peculiar performance of yours put a wide smile on his face

it gave him a good laugh too, not in a mocking way it's just so bizarre and unexpected that he couldn't help but laugh

would joke about it like "i love a partner that can just beat the shit out of me" after seeing it lmao

"you can kill people with that, but personally i wouldn't have an issue with it if it was your thighs in question~" what a fucking flirt GET HIM OUT

if you'd challenge him to do the same he'd just give up after the first two tries... his legs aren't his best asset

he CAN crush a watermelon with his hair though. maybe you should be more careful the next time you try to wriggle out from its grip...

[cellsshapedlikestars]

I feel like I've had zero creative energy since I got covid, and it's annoying me. I did write one thing based off a small fever dream I had, but it's way too short and there's literally no plot so I can't bring myself to post it on ao3. Instead, I'm gonna post it here just because I do like it, even if my brain can't come up with an actual plot for whatever this is. Maybe some day.

.

The pickup bumps and rattles over the road, and Jon grits his teeth and tries not to curse. Where his taxes go, Jon has no idea, but it certainly isn’t to road maintenance. At least not out here. 

On the radio, they’re playing some song he swears he hasn’t heard in a decade, but somehow knows all the words to. Ghost lets out a snort as they hit another bump, and Jon meets his eyes in the rearview and says, “sorry buddy.”

As he rounds a bend in the road, his foot eases off the gas when he sees something up ahead.

No, not something. Someone.

It’s a girl, and when she hears the engine of his truck, she turns, sticks her thumb out. A hitchhiker. He didn’t think people did that anymore. He doesn’t even know how she got out here to begin with.

Against his better judgment, he slows. Hitchhikers can be dangerous, and he doesn’t need any trouble. He isn’t some bleeding heart. He left his childhood dreams of being a grand hero back in the North.

Yet still, he slows to a stop next to her, leaning over and rolling down the passenger side window.

She’s pretty. It’s the first thing he thinks.

The second thing he thinks is that she has no business being out here. Not with those earrings, or the heels he noticed before he pulled up, or the set of expensive leather luggage, now coated in dust and mud.

“I need to get to Riverrun,” she says through the window. A Northern accent, though much less harsh than his. Polished. It matches her earrings.

“How’d you get all the way out here?” he asks. The nearest town is likely a two hour walk in the opposite direction, especially dragging that set of luggage behind her.

“Can you take me or not?” she asks, eyes squinting against the sun. The baby hairs not caught up in her copper ponytail curl and stick to her forehead and neck. The rivers that crisscross the countryside make the humidity nearly unbearable in the dead of summer.

“Yeah, I can take you,” he says. He’s heading there anyway, and he can’t leave her out here by herself. She’ll get into trouble.

He watches her struggle to load her bags into the bed of his pickup, then she gets into the passenger side. She’s wearing a loose dress covered in pastel blue flowers, and when she sits, it hits mid thigh. He pulls his eyes away.

Definitely trouble.

“You know hitchhiking’s dangerous,” he says, pulling back onto the road as she buckles herself in.

Out of his periphery, he watches her look at him. “You going to murder me?” she asks. She doesn’t sound very concerned.

He lets out a breath through his nose, and says, “no, but you don’t know that. I could be anyone.”

“What if I’m the murderer and you’re the one in trouble?” 

His eyes cut to her. There’s no real expression on her face, she’s just watching him, waiting for an answer.

“I think I’ll be alright,” he says, looking back at the road. She gives a hum. He doesn’t know what that means.

She twists in the seat. “You’re big.”

Jon looks at her, then the rearview. Ghost pants happily, ears perked forward at the attention.

“Am I allowed to pet him, or is he a murderer, too?”

“No one’s going to murder you,” Jon sighs, hands tightening around the wheel. “I was just telling you, you shouldn’t be hitchhiking because it’s dangerous.”

Especially someone like her, but he doesn’t say it. She’d probably get offended.

“You didn’t answer the question.”

He blinks, then remembers what she actually asked. “Yeah, you can pet him.”

“What’s your name?” she asks, holding her hand out for Ghost to sniff.

“Ghost.”

He can feel her looking at him again, but he keeps his eyes on the road.

“Ghost,” she repeats, twisting around again. Jon can hear Ghost’s tail thumping on the leather seat. He tries to keep his eyes on the road. Tries not to notice the way her skirt rides up. It makes him feel like one of those people he’s trying to warn her against.

The ride is silent except for the radio and the wind through the open windows and Ghost’s thumping tail and happy pants as she scratches behind his ear.

“Almost at Riverrun,” he says eventually, as the roads become familiar, better kept. “Where can I drop you at? There’s a motel and a train station.”

He can feel her looking at him again. There’s a few moments of silence, before she says, “do you know where Blackwater Road is?”

Jon lets out a snort. Of course he does, it’s in the part of town where all the old money families live - but he knows where it is and so he drives her there. His pickup is out of place, but it’s not like he’s never been here before. His work takes him to every part of town.

He notices the car only a second before she sucks in a slow breath. It sits up ahead, at the entrance to the Tully estate, and it’s just as out of place here as his own, though in a completely different way.

The old money families drive nice cars, but they’re understated and elegant. This is a sports car, red and sleek and low to the ground. A man leans against the side, just as flashy as his car.

Jon knows without her saying anything that this is where she needs to be.

“Tully?” he asks anyway.

“Grandma’s waiting for me,” she says as his truck slows, her hand briefly curling into a fist on her thigh.

“What the fuck, Sans?” the man says, pushing off his sports car and walking towards Jon’s pickup. “You jump out of my car, but take a ride from some fucking hillbilly?”

“You alright?” Jon asks, as the girl reaches for the door handle.

She looks at him, and he sees it - the Tully resemblance. He’s only met Minisa a few times, but the eyes are unmistakable.

“I’m alright,” she says.

Then she opens the door and slides out, smoothing her skirt down. The man turns red in the face as she walks to the back of the pickup and starts pulling her luggage out.

“Don’t ignore me, Sansa,” the man says. His blond hair flops into his face, and Jon thinks he’d be handsome if he didn’t look like a petulant child. When she doesn’t answer, his face turns a shade of red Jon doesn’t think is healthy. “Did you at least pay the man for the ride? I bet you fucked him, didn’t you? Only thing that whore mouth is good for-”

Jon feels his teeth grind together, and he sets his truck in park and reaches over and pushes the passenger side door open, clicking his tongue. Ghost hops over the center console and out, ears flattening. The man makes a choked noise and steps back.

The girl pauses where she’s stacking her luggage, and she looks at Jon. What she’s thinking, he doesn’t know, but she doesn’t seem shocked at the language, or the situation. Then she reaches out and pets Ghost’s head one last time, before tilting the stack of luggage and carefully rolling it up the Tully estate driveway.

Jon waits until she’s out of sight before giving a sharp whistle. Ghost jumps back into the truck, and Jon reaches over and pulls the door closed.

Then he puts the truck in drive, and he knows peeling the tires isn’t good for them, but he does it anyway, kicking up a cloud of dust. The blond man lifts an arm to cover his face as Jon u-turns from the estate and heads back out to Riverrun proper.

[cringecompanionapologist]

Let's Learn About 5 Ships Instead of Having an Internet Fight

Look, any time Turlough/Any Woman is mentioned, regardless of context, I'm probably going to throw in a "Turlough gay" comment and that is probably annoying. But, that got me thinking about Five Era ships, both straight and gay. Gay Five Era ships seem to be more popular on Tumblr, but I love throwing out pointless numbers, so let's check Ao3. It's not exactly a tally for how many people ship a ship but it shows how much the shippers are talking.

So, we'll just stick to Five and his companions for this. Five/Master is incredibly popular and some New Series characters like River, Jack, and Rose will just show up with every incarnation of the Doctor at some point. I've already pissed off the Every Doctor/Rose shippers and I don't feel like doing it again. I really don't fucking care.

So, we're just gonna look at combinations of Five, Adric, Nyssa, Tegan, Turlough, Peri, and Erimem.

Things I Know Someone's Gonna Say:

That's not all of Five's companions!

Yes. I know. But the others don't show up in fics as much because they haven't been around as long. And there's no unironic Kamelion/Anyone fic.

2. Why are you including Adric I will now make nasty assumptions about your sexual interests

If it exists, I'm counting it. Adric ships exist. Not all ship fics are smut and these are all made up people played by adult actors. I'm not here to debate the merits or morality of any of these pairings. This is just about the numbers, okay?

Now, since it's come up recently, we'll start with the straight ships. Not counting ships between characters who never meet and are therefore unlikely to have much fic about them, that means we've got:

5/Tegan

5/Nyssa

5/Peri

5/Erimem

Adric/Nyssa

Adric/Tegan

Turlough/Nyssa

Turlough/Tegan

Turlough/Peri (Throwing this in entirely because Planet of Fire had them mostly naked at the same time)

Now to see how many Ao3 fics we've got. As of August 2, 2024:

5/Tegan: 87

5/Nyssa: 41

5/Peri: 6

5/Erimem: 0

Adric/Nyssa: 12

Adric/Tegan: 0

Turlough/Nyssa: 3

Turlough/Tegan: 8

Turlough/Peri: There are 2 5/Peri/Turlough and I think that's as close as we're getting

Now, time for slash/femmelash/gay shit!

5/Adric: 7

5/Turlough: 76

Tegan/Nyssa: 292

Peri/Erimem: 19

So, what have we learned today?

Tegan/Nyssa is by far the most popular

When it comes to 5 specifically, his most popular ship is with the Master, but 5/Tegan comes in second

Hetero shippers for this era are a thing

Because we all like ranking stuff, here's the Top 5 5 Era Ships (Aside from 5/Master)

Tegan/Nyssa

5/Tegan

5/Turlough

5/Nyssa

Peri/Erimem

If I included 5/Master we'd end up with a top 6 consisted of 2 M/F ships, 2 M/M ships, and 2 F/F ships, so this era is actually pretty balanced when it comes to shipping.

Also Turlough gay.

[donutsupremacy]

Pocky Game

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Summary

"Hey, [Choice of Character]! Wanna try this new treat with me?"

Warnings

Pocky Game and the rules are likely inaccurate lol

Male characters only

Included are HALF of the male characters (A-K)

Organized from name and region

Mostly all fluffy

I didn't specify the flavour, so just pick ur favourite pocky flavour

Steamy ones marked with (⚠️)

Some cussing

1000% Ooc

Written during Version 3.5

Part 2 will be made eventually

A/N: YES I KNOW POCKY DOESN'T EXIST IN GENSHIN— yet.

For the sake of this imagine, just pretend that the regional chefs made it

Charachers specifically included are (Not in order);

Albedo / Al Haitham / Ayato / Baizhu / Bennett / Capitano / Childe / Chongyun / Cyno / Dainsleif / Diluc / Dottore / Gorou / Itto / Kaeya / Kaveh

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Mondstat

"When Sara created it, she also made a new based on it. She said that it would be best to play it with a partner, so... would you like to play a game with me?"

Albedo

➷ Both of you are in Dragonspine and it was c o l d.

➷ You explained Albedo the rules as best as you could, ignoring the freezing wind nipping at your skin.

➷ Albedo didn't mind games, he played with Klee all the time. And when you said; 'The loser is delcared when they break the stick, or gets kissed by the opponent' Hah, giving you a small reward doesn't sound so bad~

➷ So, you placed the stick in between your teeth, pointing at the other hand excitedly for your boyfriend who wasted no time and joined you

➷ You were struggling, specifically because of the weather. No matter how close you were to the torch, you could be standing on it and still freeze to death. And since you were shivering a lot, that made the treat move around, the fragile stick nearly breaking.

➷ Still, you were determined to NOT lose. So you sucked it up and slowly chipped your way to his lips, not realizing you were close to kissing him.

➷ Noticing how cold you are (and how you're about to win), he pulled you into his arms while taking a large chunk of the stick, a sly smirk evident on his face when you began to panic over the close proximity between you and him.

➷ You lost when you absentmindedly took a much bigger bite than just chipping a tiny bit, your nose grazing against his. And at that touch, you instinctively broke the stick by biting down on it and turning away to hide your blushing face.

➷But Albedo's not gonna have that so he just pulled you in and simply kissed you on the lips, affectionately holding your warm cheek.

➷ "It seems we have a winner. But I am unable to taste the treat flavouring's... would you mind if I steal another taste from your lips?"

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Bennett

➷ Dawwww idk if you being excited was cuter or him accepting immediately is more cute.

➷He wouldn't really try to win, his bad luck can just automatically make him lose anyway. But since you'd probably get upset if he didn't try, it wouldn't hurt to look like he's trying to win.

➷ So there you guys sat under the large tree of Windrise, a stick in your mouths and chipping away at the treat, slowly inching your way to his mouth.

➷ But then you'd chicken out. About 6 rounds in.

➷ Bennett thinks it might be his bad luck doing this, because you kept breaking the stick instead of kissing him (which he at least wanted since he wouldn't win anyway), and this was the last pockey stick you had.

➷ Well, good things come to those who don't wait around. Too bad that doesn't work for him.

➷ So right before you could even break the stick, it was his turn. What he did was this; Take a huge bite foward and headbutt you instead of actually connecting lips with you.

➷ You fell backwards, into the water as you were both playing close to Windrise's river. Bennett obviously panics and attempts to rescue you despite the river's being shallow. You got slapped in the face by 5 fish tails but you were eventually 'rescued'.

➷ This was pretty normal honestly, but you weren't mad... The reason your face is red was because you failed to kiss him again because he headbutted you.

➷ "I-I'm sorry about my luck, [Name]. We shouldn't have played so closely to the river of all places, that's my fault for being so careless... Huh? Why did I hit you? It wasn't on purpose!... U-Uhm... Ahaha, I guess you could say my plan kind of backfired?"

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Diluc

➷ Obviously, he'd think this game is pretty childish. I mean... it's just kissing with extra steps.

➷ He was writing a letter in his mansion when the maids suddenly arrived with you in tow, excitedly asking him to play a game with you. He'd turn you down first, stating he's busy (it's just a letter Diluc smh). You still managed to convince him, saying 1 round only takes less than 30 seconds if both players aren't a bunch of cowards.

➷ He also cursed himself for choosing such a cute S/O.

➷ So, he decides to play just 1 round. He stands up and leans over the table while you happily planted the stick between your mouths.

➷ He's quite fond of spending time with you, it's hard to make time for you when he's pretty busy, working nearly 24/7. So, just an excuse to be with you juuuust a little longer, he took smaller bites.

➷ Normally, he's not a coward, obviously. But when your lips inched towards him ever so slowly, that bravery and confidence of his diminished into nothing. His face flared up, eyes looking everywhere but you, his small bites turning into lil' nibbles.

➷ You noticed, of course. The corner of your lips tugging into a smirk at how shy he looked, you wanna milk this situation a little more hehe~ You decided to nibble instead of biting now, he was much aware of you, and very much embarrassed.

➷ This one game was torturously slow, to know that your lips were so close, yet, so far away. He just wanted to bang his head on the table, he's kissed you several times, why does this game meant to kiss you be so... embarrassing?

➷ Eventually though, curiosity got the better of you, you bite the stick and moved foward, head tilted a little. And now, your noses were touching, lips barely close enough to graze eachother.

➷ At that point, he realized he was just craving for your lips. But in the heat of the moment, he breaks the stick off, much to your disappointment.

➷ He stutters as he tells you the game is over, you wanted one more game but Diluc just says maybe later. So, you sighed and prepared to leave. Noticing how sad you were, he decides; "Fuck it" and stood up from his chair, the chair legs scraping against dhe floor loud enough to make you flinch.

➷ To fulfill his desire, he held your cheeks and planted a rushed but passionate kiss on your lips, you nearly withdrew from the suddenness— but then you melted into it.

➷ "...A-Ahem, there. You may leave now, I still have matters to attend to... What's with that expression? I only promised one game. If you want more, you can return here at night."

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Kaeya ⚠️

➷ Lol as if he'd turn a game like that down, especially when he sees how excited you are

➷ Half competitive, half teasing. He'd try to fluster you and win, with an additional bonus of getting you shy and riled up.

➷ Damn he's good.

➷ And right when you're about to finish the whole box of Pocky, you had enough if his endless flirts and dirty jokes regarding your mouth on a stick. So what did you do?

➷ Instead of breaking away like usual, you decided to grow some balls and grab his shirt, pulling him foward to lock lips with yours. Victory was now yours, and your prize?

➷ A very long and steamy make out session between the two of you in his office. The puzzled guards outside could only hear shuffling, as he quickly pins you against the wall, a thin string of saliva connecting the tip of your tongue to his.

➷ All that riling up was worth it. Now, you're caged between his arms and the wall against your back, you've fallen to his unplanned trap. But you didn't mind spending a few extra... hours in here. Curtains closed and doors locked, of course.

➷ "What's wrong? Can't handle a simple little kiss? My, my, you've grown rather rusty in this, haven't you... Is it because I haven't been around lately? Aww, sorry love, i've just been doing a lot of unnecessary paperwork. Here, let me make it up to you; First, i'll remove that pesky clothing of yours, yeah?"

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Liyue

"I know Xiangling's cooking can be... odd, but I promise; this one actually tastes amazing!... And, she even included a little game to it!"

Baizhu

➷ Dammit, Qiqi, leave the love birds alone!

➷ You both let the child stay, the pharmacy was pretty empty at the moment since it was getting late. Perfect time to persuade him into a game of Pocky.

➷ He'd never let his beloved S/O down, so, as you'd expected; he agreed. But even for a little game he'd stall out time a bit more, asking you for a bit of help before finally playing a round with you. He likes making things... unforgettable. In a romantic way.

➷ So, picture this; You and Baizhu sitting on the steps of Bubu Pharmacy, the dark blue sky with a sea of shining stars, the gorgeous sight of Liyue Harbor nearby illuminated with golden lights.

➷ Qiqi sitting on your lap or beside you, drinking coconut milk and watching people stroll around Liyue Harbor while Changsheng rested peacefully around your lover's neck.

➷ You took a moment to just absorb the tranquil atmosphere, you forgot just how beautiful Liyue can be at night.

➷ As soon as you faced Baizhu, he already had the stick in between his lips, waiting for you with that charming smile of his. No tricks or jokes were played, just the two of you slowly inching towards eachother.

➷ Despite it being your turn, the two of you leaned foward together, sharing a loving kiss.

➷ "I thank you for stopping by... Seeing you truly makes my day, it makes any mortal's life worth living. I know our love will last just as long as immortality could."

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Childe ⚠️ (I wrote this before deciding to put the Fatui, so just pretend like Childe is still in Liyue or smth lol)

➷ He thought those were chopsticks and when you took a bite he immediately tried to do the heimlich manoeuvre lol

➷ You explained to him that these were a new treat as well as the game's rules before you offered him one. He absolutely loved it and asked for another one— to which, you placed one in between your mouth and said "Come and get it" tauntingly.

➷ You challenged him, he's not gonna back down. His confused expression turned to a determined one, he was gonna win one way or another. You, on the other hand, got your competitive spirits turned up because of him.

➷ Unexpectedly, neither of you flinched at the touch of your lips, only declaring the other as the winner and quickly asking for one more round. None of you are gonna be the winner until the last bite. When it came to the last stick, both of you were just nibbling away an inch, until an imaginary light bulb went off above your head.

➷ You made your eyes half-lidded, placing a hand on his chest. Obviously, he jolted at your touch, but quickly gathered his composure. But when you slowly slid your hand down, you felt every bite he took grow harsher and harsher. Until he realized what you were doing.

➷ This is a way better prize than just a little kiss.

➷ You were both in his office, with you sitting on his lap, and that just allowed him to do absolutely anything to you. So he quickly broke the stick to turn you around, ignoring the fact that you won, and quickly pinning you from behind with your chest pressed against the table.

➷ Bent over and helpless, you realized what you had gotten yourself into. The harbinger's velvety laughter was heard right next to your ear, his gloved hands groping at your sides.

➷ His hand slowly glided down your sides, moving over to rub your thighs. A shiver ran down your spine as he plays with your clothing, staring down at you like a predator playing with it's prey. When a moan drew out from your lips after grazing a finger across a particularly sensitive area, that only fueled his hunger for you, and the desire to hear more.

➷ "You think just because you got the last bite means you're the winner?... Very well then, how about I give you your grand prize? Or should I say... my grand prize?"

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Chongyun

➷ I hope you placed that pocky in a fridge before finding him cuz he likes it c o l d

➷ Chongyun surprisingly feels a little hesitant, afraid that the game itself could get him to pass out from getting flustered. How did you both start dating without him passing out from excitement every time he sees you??

➷ However, you had already requested Xiangling to make a mist flower flavour for him, even if it could taste bad for you. But you made it specifically for him! How could he decline your offer?

➷ Despite your protests saying that his safety and comfort is far more important, he continued insisting for one round. Sure, he's afraid, but he wants you to be happy. And if getting a kiss from you makes you happy then hell fucking yeah.

➷ It took about half the box before he could finally stop getting dizzy at the close proximity of your lips, he still shakes like a leaf, but at least he's not passing out anymore.

➷ So to at least make him a little more comfortable, you decided to just nibble the smallest inch you could for every round.

➷ He was thankful for your patience towards him, he thought he might've made you frustrated for not controlling his excessive yang energy.

➷ And it was worth it once he finally reached the end, eyes sealed shut as the two of you shared a very short, but nonetheless cute kiss together.

➷ Right before he passes out with you having to drag him back home, you took care of him after that, frantically apologising for making him faint.

➷ "A-Ah, there's no need to make a fuss about it, [Name]... I genuinely had a fun time, even if I felt a little stressed. N-Not that I disliked being so close to you!... I always feel better when you're around."

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Inazuma

"Anna asked if I could taste test it, but then she told me it would be more fun if I had a partner to try it out with... Why don't we have a bite or two together?"

Ayato

➷ At first he declined, cuz it's not boba

➷ Eventually, he agreed, informing Thoma that he would take a small break with 'The lord's beloved'. Now, you two are alone in the room with the blonde pyro wielder standing guard outside, ensuring you two are left undisturbed. What a wingman.

➷ He chatted with you first, it's not a rush after all, he enjoys sitting across from you and hearing you babble on about your day before coming to visit the elder Kamisato sibling. Sure, he's busy, but will always make time just for you.

➷ After making sure you're comfortable, he moves next to you and briefly examines the treat, amused when you picked [Flavor].

➷ He placed a hand on top of yours, enveloping your hand in his warmth. You placed the Pocky treat between your lips and leaned foward for him, allowing him to plant his mouth on the opposite end.

➷ You were shy at first, yes, but calmed down when he slipped his hand underneath your, holding your fingers in a careful manner. His thumb brushing against your fingers, soothing you.

➷ It was over before you know it, you weren't even sure who was the winner as you both leaned foward at the end together, sharing a deliciously sweet kiss.

➷ "Such a rich and sweet flavor... Or perhaps, your lips must've contributed to the taste? Ahaha~ Don't be so flustered, you truly are the sweetest being in the world."

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Gorou

➷ He got worried thinking Yae Miko tricked you into this idea mwheheheheheh

➷ You needed to reassure him that Yae Miko had nothing to do with this. Unless you want to then you're l y i n g to him, but you're not in public so it won't give her any satisfaction since she can't see him suffer anyways.

➷ He took a taste test before hand, making sure it wasn't actually poisoned or anything. That fox has him very paranoid.

➷ One little nibble and he ate the whole stick, tail wagging left and right excitedly, his teal eyes sparkling happily. He looked so cute, you cooed at him, petting his fluffy golden hair affectionately while wiping away any cumbs on his smiling lips.

➷ Just to play and tease him a lil' bit, you lifted one pocky stick up and waved it in front of him. His eyes shined, ears twitching and tail swaying, asking you for it.

➷ You giggled and planted one end in his mouth before you took the other end. If the treat wasn't satisfying enough for Gorou, then receiving a lovely kiss from you just enhanced it drastically.

➷ After a couple more, the two of you cuddled, his cheek nuzzling yours.

➷ "Thank you for the treat, [Name]! It tastes absolutely amazing! Are you... perhaps— going to buy some more in the future? If you are, could we share it together? It'll greatly improve our morale and relationship!"

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Itto

➷ You decided to feed Ushi some first and that made Itto jealous

➷ Itto was more than happy to accept your offer, stammering over his words enthusiastically while you just watched him happily babble about winning the competition. Which eventually turned to him boast about a recent beetle fight that he totally won.

➷ You didn't have the heart to interrupt him, he looked so cute and you just let him ramble on before he realized he got off track.

➷ After an apology, you offered him one stick, letting him taste test. Of course, he absolutely loved it! So he asks for more, to which you proposed a game to.

➷ The winner has to buy more for the other! And that sure as hell motivated him enough to win. But you're just gonna let him win anyways, you don't want him to use Kuki's mora.

➷ Ya'll ever have those moments where you're both a little shy and super excited at the same time? Yeah, that's how he feels rn. He's a little shy at how close you were, but he's really excited to play a game with you.

➷ Of course, you let him win every round, with the first few rounds ending in him giving you a skittish kiss. Which soon turned into him giving you a biiiig smooch on the lips. 100% worth it!

➷ "Hah! I win! What did I tell ya', Babe? The One and Oni Itto never loses! But, hey, don't worry about it, let's call this is a draw, yeah?... Buuuut you also did promise the winner would get us some more... What? Yeah, I did say it's a draw... I know a draw means there's no winners or losers, but if there's none, then what are we; losers and winners at the same time? Win...sers??? Hey, th—"

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Sumeru

"Lambad was asking if I could collect any feedback on this treat, he even made up a whole game about it... do you wanna kill two birds with one stone and play the game while tasting it?"

Alhaitham

➷ Kaveh was asked to leave, enough said.

➷ For you, he'd gladly put his book down and go through with whatever nonsense you wanted to do with him. You're not annoying, thankfully, so he'd let some of your shenanigans slide. Seeing as this is just a quick harmless little game, he'll humour you.

➷ Once you grew flustered and broke of the stick, he became addicted to that reaction if yours and asked for another round.

➷ Ignore Kaveh's tantrum outside as you struggle to not break the stick whenever his lips were getting closed to yours, the way you hid your face whenever you did break it amuses him more.

➷ Eventually though, once the box was done, you didn't win a single round as you would just break the stick last minute. You've kissed him a dozen times, so why was kissing him this time so difficult?

➷ He then gave you his opinion on the treat, saying the taste could add some certain spice and got back to his book. But you stayed there for a couple of seconds, looking at the small empty box with an upset expression.

➷ It didn't take long for him to figure out why you're so sad... and he knew how to cheer you up, with the one thing that always made you smile the brightest.

➷ When you got up, he wrapped one arm around your waist and pulled you onto his lap, the other arm still holding the book with his eyes glued to the pages.

➷ He closed the book again and leaned in, eyes closed as he locks lips with yours. Your hands pressed up against his chest, feeling his muscular body keeping you warm.

➷ "There, you wanted that the whole time, didn't you? There's no need to be so shy, we've kissed multiple times before. We don't need a whole game revolved around the concept of our kisses or our relationship's intimacy... Though, I wouldn't mind playing it again sometime."

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Cyno

➷ Is this your way of asking him to... stick together? Mwehehehehhwhehwhehejsbheuqbduqbfibwk

➷ Cyno does not get flustered easily. But you couldn't resist seeing that faint red tint on his tanned cheeks, it's a rare sight and you know this the perfect opportunity to see him blush again.

➷ Cyno's a smart boi tho, he already knew your little scheme because you kept insisting to play the game instead of just tasting the treat alone. You're also not very convincing.

➷ Meh, why not. He shrugs his shoulders and pointed at his lips, allowing you to slip the treat into his mouth as you bit the other end.

➷ The tables have turned when you realized he was just staring at you plainly, unfazed by how close you were to him. When your noses were touching, all of a sudden— you're starting to regret this idea.

➷ You were the one who broke the stick, covering the lower part of your bright red face as you stammered out how bad of an idea this was and that you should leave now that you received his feedback. You begged him to not tell a single soul about this.

➷ Now he's the one pouting when you didn't reciprocate the kiss. He blocked your way, his tangerine coloured eyes staring at you in expectancy.

➷ It felt like a whole decade went by, just the two of you silently staring at eachother, and the sound of your heartbeat thumping loudly in your ears.

➷ He was kind of worried if he scares you enough to the point you actually turned into a statue. But when he placed a hand on your flushed cheek to ask if you're okay, your brain short-circuited and you quickly pecked his lips before fleeing.

➷ He stood there for a good minute, blinking slowly, before turning his head to your direction where you were gone. You were fast, he'll give you that.

➷ "[Name]?... Huh, maybe I should corner them a little more often. That blush on their face... no wonder they were incredibly persistent to play this game. Still, it seems like they didn't want to... stick around. Heheh. Heh. Heh."

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Kaveh (⚠️)

➷ Criticising the box design was the first thing he did lol

➷ But other than that, he'd gladly accept the offer. Unlike most of the gambling he did, he wouldn't be able to lose this one either way. Unless you're the one chickening out last minute and breaking the stick. Of course, you wouldn't do that, riiiight?

➷ So the two of you played a couple games, most of which he happened to lose willingly because he wanted to smooch you on the lips. Can you blame him? You're so intoxicating, you could make him escspe all his problems with a single kiss!

➷ And then Alhaitham comes in hueheuhejqbajqbdo

➷ He didn't seem fazed about this at all, just went in to pick up a file left on the table. But he did criticise about the two of you being too ballsy, saying that anyone could come in and witness 'a traumatic event'.

➷ Kaveh actually threw a book towards the male, who caught it expertly. Before he yelled at the scribe to leave, to which he happily did after jabbing a teasing statement towards you two.

➷ He groaned, rubbing his temples in annoyance. You cooed at him softly, petting his silky blonde hair and giving him reassurance.

➷ Seeing as he was still tensed, you decided to pepper his face with lil' kisses. He giggled, before pulling closer, arms wrapped around your waist as he also began littering kisses all over your face

➷ Soon, those sweet little kisses turned into a very long and passionate make out on his bed, with you straddling his hips and his hands gripping your waist.

➷ When the two of you pulled away, you could feel the tent in his tight pants throbbing against your thigh, the arousing heat in your abdoment was just as unbearable.

➷ The box of Pocky long forgotten and left on his table, nothing but eachother left in your minds that were clouded with lust.

➷ "Ah... You know, maybe you could stay here for a little while longer, I have been craving for... something with you~ Bah, who cares about that annoying scribe? Let him know you and I are having an intimate time together... something I know he'll never have for the rest of his life, hah!"

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Capitano (These parts are rather short due to lack of confirmation regarding certain information)

➷ Does his helmet thingy have a mouth for him to eat???

➷ Both of you are in his office, and since it's just the two of you, he'll lift it up and allow you see his face. Everytime he does this, you quickly sneak a peck on his lips, he enjoys it. A lot.

➷ He'll have you sit on his lap (or on a spare chair) as he does his work, but he'll multitask and play the game with you while he's at it.

➷ The two of you already locked the door, so no one's gonna ruin this lovely little moment between The Captain his Beloved.

➷ He's quite busy, so he'll pretend to win while in reality; he's more interested in getting kisses from you than the treat.

➷ "No need to fret, my expedition won't be starting any time soon. At the moment, all there is left to do is simply filing out certain recruits to their designated nations... It bores me, but with you, my dear... Not even my loyalty for the Tsarita can overpower my love for you."

Dainsleif

➷ This is gonna be set AFTER the journey with the Abyss Twin, but I won't mention which twin it is so feel free to use your imagination! (I'm not too into the lore so forgive me if I get if inaccurately)

➷ Betrayal is a painful feeling to endure. Dainsleif learned that first hand after an intense battle with you now former blonde companion. But in the end, trying to convince the now leader of the Abyss Order was futile.

➷ You helped Dainsleif retreat from the fight, after bidding your old companion a tearful goodbye. The two of you decided to take a rest at Mondstat, to recharge and plot your new journey to stop the Abyss Order.

➷ While resting at Cat's Tails, you stopped by Good Hunter to restock on some food supplies and was offered a little trade off. Sponsor her new treat and receive said supplies. Even telling you about a cute little game about it.

➷ You started off with Dainsleif, of course. You've been dating for a bit but haven't smooched yet. So, this is the perfect opportunity!

➷ He agreed after taking a quick taste test, while everyone was busy playing cards, you two were petting kitties to regain your energy and playing the pocky game.

➷ He sees no point for the game's existence, but to see you smile or get flustered after sharing a kiss with him, he thinks this might be his favorite game now~

➷ "Ah... They've got fur all over my cape too... Hey, stop laughing, you've got fur all over your clothing as well. You've distracted me with the game, of course I wouldn't notice the cats rubbing against me... Though, I think it was pretty worth it."

Dottore ⚠️

➷ Ehe

➷ You're half Dottore's assistant and half Dottore's Test Subject, but he performs less excruciating tests on you. He finds that you're an interesting specimen, emotionally, mentally and physically. Metaphorically too

➷ You barged into his office one day and sat in his lap, he's used to it so he didn't flinch at all, only continuing with his ongoing experiment.

➷ While he's off mixing concoctions, you're explaining a treat you made that's based off his favorite flavour and your's, it was the least you could do since you're bored and you've missed your blue haired freaky doctor boyfriend.

➷ Amused, he agrees to a game, but wants to test out... a small hypothesis. He thought of it as you're wriggling around the small tent formed in his tight pants.

➷ So, he pulls you in with the stick between your lips and his, he made sure to press you firmly downwards and onto his erection. In return, you playfully grinded against him, elicting a velvety chuckle from him.

➷ One thing led to another, and you forgot who won, it's just you underneath him and him towering over you with his coat taken off.

➷ Lips locked together, your fingers running through his soft curly blue hair. Bless the poor souls outside as he rubs himself against you, you teased back by letting out a loud shameless moan that only made him crave to be inside of you once more.

➷ "It seems like my hypothesis is correct, to my conclusion; it seems as though my little test subject as grown... restless, at the lack of intimacy i've given. Let's see how you'll fare against me in this part of the 'procedure'."

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

A/N: I'll be going on a smol hiatus, the beginning of my exams are coming up and I want to make sure I don't suffer getting last place in class— again. Either way, i'll chip in a few paragraphs if I have some spare time

Oh, and if you're wondering; Yes, I'll be including pulcinella, specially for oh-so my good friend who I won't name but call Sticker <3

[Part 2]

[umthisistheonlyusernamenottaken]

In conclusion, FUCK rhysand

Currently up to ACOMAF, and I just finished the part with Rhysand's exposition justifying his actions UTM, this scene in particular pissed me off beyond measure. I already hated Rhysand in the first book, but this one was the nail on the coffin.

'So I watched your first trial. Pretending- always pretending to be the person that you hated. When you were hurt so badly against the Wyrm... I found my way in with you. A way to defy Amarantha, to spread the seeds of hope to those who knew how to read the message, and a way to keep you alive without seeming too suspicious.' (ACOMAF p525)

Rhysand can change memories. If he'd truly wanted to help Feyre, he literally could have visited her in secret and wiped the memories of anyone who found out about their alliance.

'I found those three picts. I broke into their minds, reshaping their lives, their histories, and dragged them before Amarantha.' (ACOMAF p 523).

Honestly, he could have just been like 'I know that you hate me and I hate Tamlin, but it would be really great if you could break this curse for the good of all of Prythian, so I'm gonna help you. You just gotta pretend to hate me until the curse is broken, m'kay?'

Whilst writing this bit, I also realised that he never apologised for GRABBING HOLD OF AND TWISTING THE BONE OF HER BROKEN ARM?!?

'Let me see it.' A growl rippled from him. Without waiting for my reaction, he grabbed my elbow and forced my arm into the dim light of the cell. I bit my lip to keep from crying out - bit it hard enough to draw blood as rivers of fire exploded inside me, as my head swam, and all my senses narrowed down to the piece of bone sticking through my arm. (ACOTAR p. 331)

Rhysand: Don't you dare touch my mate or even look at her wrong, but yeah I totally twisted her broken arm into an agreement with me that utterly humiliated her for WEEKS :)

(canon, Rhysand was also too stupid to figure out Amarantha's riddle, that's why he had to pull all of this shit.)

Moving on,

'I made you dress like that so Amarantha wouldn't suspect, and made you drink the wine so you would not remember the nightly horrors in that mountain.' (ACOMAF p.525)

I spent my days sleeping off the faerie wine, dozing to escape the humiliation I endured.' (ACOTAR 354)

HORRORS AND HUMILIATION THAT YOU SUBJECTED HER TO YOU FUCKING SJERGT$GT%H

Yep, absolutely, the obvious answer is to dress her provocatively, drug her, make her perform lap dances, and basically put all of your attention on her, that's definitely keeping her out of harms way and out of anyone's attention. TF??!!!

Rhysand has been Amarantha's toy for 50 years now, don't you think she would find it more suspicious that after all that time, he's decided to spend time in any capacity with the one person that is meant to break the curse and defeat her? I just *give up*

There's plenty more that could be said, but these are the things that stuck out to me the most. In general, this entire bit of the book sounded too practised, you know? Like during the time they spent apart because Feyre was justifiably pissed about him keeping the mate secret, he was busy cooking up this convoluted, air-tight story that explained away all of his bullshit. He had an answer for EVERYTHING, and explained it all away as 'but it was for your own good'.

He also never apologised for ANY of the shit he pulled on Feyre, not even a 'By the way, sorry for twisting your arm or making you dress in half a tissue or drugging you or making you do lap dances on me or treating you like my property that no-one else could touch.'

I also find it hard to believe that Feyre, don't-lie-to-me-or-treat-me-like-a-pawn-feyre forgave him so easily for that. She was literally just like 'OH well, you love me, actions excused have some soup :)'

Anyway, that's about as much as I've got energy for right now. Would love to hear anyone's thoughts!

[bunny-behind-a-keyboard]

ways to feel animalistic/in touch with your kintype ✨feral edition✨

i see a lot of posts in the therian community like "canine activities" or "how to feel in touch with your kin" but it's all targeted towards domesticated critters, or things that are private / non-offensive to the public. whilst there's nothing wrong with that and they're useful, it leaves part of the community behind; the FERAL KINS. we're not domesticated- we're rabid creatures who belong in the dirt and DAMN IT are we gonna get in it no matter what Deborah the Neighbor has to say about it!!!!

is all of this good, healthy, or acceptable to do in public? no! but none of its illegal (probably), and you only live once am i right. also this list is non-harmful to the environments that you exist in :)

onto the list!

🐇-eat some wild plants! i'd recommended having a general knowledge of your local ecology so you don't et somethin poisonous, but there's nothin like going outside and just deciding to graze on the grass, or sample some leaves.

🐇-dig a hole! if you're an animal who create underground dens or digs, gettin the dirt is always fun! doing this at the beach will net you less stares, but the park is admittedly more fun. i'd recommended gloves and/or gardening claws to make it easier and safer (especially if you live somewhere with dangerous underground fellas)

->off of this, rolling/playing in the dirt/on the ground is super fun too! if you wear out some clothes that are old its easier too. i personally prefer to wear shorts & T-shirts so that my arms + legs are actually exposed to the ground. more fun to roll that way!!

🐇-chase some wildlife! if your out digging or running around, your pretty much bound to come across some lizards, small animals, or birds; if your a predator don't be afraid to chase em around! and if you catch them, good on you! probably free them, though- whilst in our hearts we belong to the ecosystem we don't in our current bodies and as such shouldn't disrupt it by harming animals ourselves. (but feel free to think that you are on the hunt! i sure do lol)

🐇-define your territory! if you frequent a park/forest/area where you do your therian/otherkin activities, mark it as yours! you could follow the ways of your kintype (though public urination is illegal) or try a more human way such as tying pieces of (preferably biodegradable) ribbon around tree branches, digging holes at each corner of your territory, or simply patrolling around. if you're like me and are completely shameless, you can also survey your territory from your favorite spot and scowl at people who d a r e enter your land (usually they don't notice me , or at least pretend they don't lol).

-> i find this helps a lot, because now i have a space that when i go to it, it immediately makes me shift because this is my territory, with my den that i dug out, that i protect with my life!! my stuff bark bark!!!

->i also find that acting like your kintype within your territory is really good but that kinda goes without saying haha. but for example if your a bunny dig yourself a burrow to spend most of your time in, or if your a cheetah climb a tree and survey from up above!

🐇-go for a frolic! it's honestly a great way to get exercise in, just go to your territory (or any park/area that's like your environment) and run, jump and move at your own pleasure! enjoy being free, untamed, wild and spirited like the freaky little critter you are!!! mimicking the movements of your kintype is also fun to do when you frolic :) i usually frolic , climb up something, survey my surroundings and sniff around, then climb down & repeat (mimicking cheetahs & bunnies)

🐇-play in the water if you have some nearby! many parks have small lakes or rivers running through them, and whilst you cant get into them , there's nothing stopping you watching the fish go by, sticking your hand in, prodding things in the water with a stick, or chasing the ducks! there's something that feels very animalistic to me about appreciation water idk!

that's all i got for today but let me know if you critters enjoy this and i'll add some more!! i'm also thinking of doing a water & sky version of this since most of these things are really only for terrestrial critters.

also hey if you are looking for activities for your specific kintype, don't be afraid to send me an ask! i'd be more than happy to help brainstorm some good activities for you :]