#how long is this. and i could've gone on lol. if i have anything to say i Can [never shut up]

[unproduciblesmackdown]

oh lmfao edited to add. the thirty tags are maxed out but i have to work in the wordplay of: call this post-it notes

speaking of [happening to think about, then for a separate reason talk about, the film “stand by me,” an adaptation of the stephen king short story “the body”] last night, & tumblr ads reminding me, i did turn around after listening to the podcast ep extensive, research enhanced analysis / discussion of specifically the book like hey yeah yknow what. i’ll watch the It films; not the miniseries / the one with tim curry, which i saw the first half of but wasn’t really inspired to commit to the latter half. and you Know like yeah i’m truly interested in the choice to build on [stephen king kicking his legs like “whaaat are some Problems kids could have.....um being a girl.....being jewish.....having a stutter.....”] with “what if someone was gay or some shit” like yeah right on, which idk that steve ever wrote into any vaguely primary characters even though it’s markedly made textually relevant. and the cultural alignment for kleinsen enjoyers is still very funny. i forgot about even the arm cast business till halfway through. even the [break it again] joke kind of manifested lmao

anyways the point is i’m like, my two primary modes of [this experience] being expressed via [mad men meme In The Cinema seriously considering the material] and [the shot of that guy in the alternate titanic ending where he’s like ahahahaha throwing his head back and the camera is overhead zooming out a little bit] and the like Oh Hey. This Is All Coming Together? kind of [that madman cinema meme] moment hit in The Second Part because it’s like, it’s Remarkable for a stephen king story to have Adults Who Are Friends. which is where it can be cross referenced with Stand By Me, which is about kids who are friends, but Framed by like, this story is written in the future by the main kid, who wanted to be a writer & now is, mostly about his friendship with this one other kid who was like “hey man you can & should be a writer. believe” and that classic [stephen king High Concept stories] central plot impetus / definition which is “the one where some kids go on a trek to find/see a dead body” and then ending with Adult Main Kid with that classic / standout remark “i never had any friends like the ones i had when i was twelve. god, does anyone?” which is included even in the film via seeing him type it out on bulkier ye old computer terminals while his kid is now twelvish i guess and talking to a friend. after also musing on like, yeah that bestie who hyped me up the most and who i saved in turn, with a gun, tragically died. iunno where those other two kids in the group are, living kind of underwhelming lives out there probably but whatever. lmfao like man i dunno write them a letter, call them, you could do a little digging here and get in touch. but yeah it’s not gonna be Exactly The Same as when you were kids, nor exactly the same as it was when things aligned to have a brief but dramatic adventure, nor when you Could just all spontaneously decide you wanna go walking & camping to find a body & then just up & do that. but like, you can consciously make & maintain friendships i prommy my man lol. like “it’s great when things align so you Happen to have these friends when you’re twelve and you all like offer each other emotional support and can understand each other like nobody else can. but then you Will all just drift apart” like, i mean, will you. you can have friendships beyond what you just Happen to have / hope that the magic alignments will just continue falling into place for you so that those friendships still exist

and probably part of it is that it’s really mostly About the two kids who are friends even though there’s four of them, i.e. the protagonist & the moral support bestie, as well as the fact that this is a short story so there’s presumably only so much time to focus on characters at all really or delve into any setup and bg lore and whatever all else, i dunno. but thinking how it’s like, oh hey, in It it’s kind of its own serendipitous alignment of elements there to be like, here’s a group of adults where it’s peak relevant that they’re friends, for once. because afaik that really just doesn’t happen in sking stories, like, yeah adults kind of have friends but it’s Not Very Deep / it’s just kind of convenience about working together moving plots along & it’s like yeah uh i don’t fucking know i guess we see each other / hang out for dinners or post dinner drinks together or join forces about whatever fucked up shit and just talk about that, mostly....and probably people are just dropping off like flies eventually, the protagonist man of that [sooo many protags who are just some fuckin middle aged guy who’s a writer] type, and it’s also in part just because like, characters don’t really matter that much / have to be particularly distinct / Are Disposable when plenty of the point is to go “was that fucked up or what?” about whatever’s happening, so yknow you go “there was once just some fuckin guy, i dunno, he probably has a wife he’s paternalistically protective of but maybe also resents and maybe a kid or two or something, whatever....” like, being the main character doesn’t really matter, it’s just this avatar through which we are told a story of some fucked up shit and to whomst any fucked up shit can even happen, being other characters also really doesn’t matter

so it’s like huh, stand by me / the body as obviously this Ode To Twelve Year Olds’ Friendship And How Your Emotional Support Of Each Other Defines The Entire Path Of Your Life Though Mostly For The Main Character, Everyone Else Fucked Off Or Whatever like right yeah, but with that difference of how like clearly as an adult this isn’t gonna be about this guy going like “hey yeah where are those still living scamps today,” he’s reminiscing only, he’s talking about how he now doesn’t have any friends like the ones he had when he was twelve....then what changes in It is like, hmm how are these adults where the fact they’re friends actually is peak relevant? how does one remain friends with even Any childhood friends there huh. and then the fact it works out like that is like aha, well it’s because they don’t lmfao. that everyone happens to scatter to the winds at some point when it maybe will eventually rear its head amongst even their own adult guardians like hey, yknow, maybe let’s not live in murderville. or coincidence. whatever. where the point is that like oh also, everyone just magically forgets the goings on as kids including the existence of their friends, but is about to be reminded of them / remember all that, for a specific external reason rather than [adults are like hey let me try getting in touch with that mf] and already plot and magic is relevant to all of this. they’re not going to have gotten together for the shittiest high school reunion if not for the connection of Friendship, this is about adults but it’s about that childhood plotline still, so Twelve Year Olds’ Friendships still stands / is relevant, so we can even fathom these adults having a connection, b/c yes they Didn’t have it as they got older there, but now they’re jumping back into it actually, b/c magic, and because also this is Directly About (Childhood) Trauma which was also like, hey damn, even outside the stephen king oeuvre & its tendencies (solid & wretched), this is also transcending grievances i so often have with Horror, as someone who likes horror and doesn’t like horror but likes horror but doesn’t like it, and just like. questionable employment of [you Are bothering to focus on Character, and their emotional arcs being entirely relevant to the story here] when sometimes it’s like, do you need a story? the strength of horror shorts to just go “was that fucked up or what.” do you need the characters with the emotional arc relevance at all, or is it just a little avatar walking around with enough vague motivation to have / see / make fucked up shit happen? are they particularly characterized to play into some Metaphor, what’s that metaphor, is it shit, is the execution of it shit. and oftentimes Trauma is just like, idk, it’s like well here’s this person’s Weakness, and it being horror that’s more likely to make it into a Fatal Flaw, like way to have trauma you dumbass, if you were so weak as to fail to just get over it already / Overcome it, you just might be killed for it

annoying, shallow and hackneyed, insulting, etc, and it’s also like, the Individual Focused emotional journey like and here this character who’s been weakly propped up by the Stronger people supporting them will have to go through the crucible of being alone, facing down their Issue like their trauma, and getting through it in this big dramatic one and done way so they can finally stop being a pussy and an obstacle to others. or else fuck it up & die. and it’s like do you know how this works lmfao (no) why shouldn’t the support help. why should it Have to go away. why shouldn’t everyone be crowdsourcing their emotional support amongst their group lmao and never needing to “overcome” it Forever, alone. and that’s at least mostly what gets to go on in It lmfao, like, so obviously this is About Childhood Trauma. whereas It = any of the forces that make people act in ways that create, facilitate, or simply passively allow trauma. (or just some shit that really fucks shit up sometimes i guess.) and you have kids who get caught Alone getting got. but then you have a larger group of some twelvish year olds who are like alright fuck this then, and that’s enough to get through it, the same way that naturally in the less magical / more literal realm of their lives, that friend group & joining forces & providing this like actually (relatively) safe and supportive environment amongst themselves is what protects them & makes everyone a lot more of a force to be reckoned with than they are when out / caught on their own. and it just doesn’t happen to be about choosing to write about like, and then all these kids got picked off one by one anyways, despite their efforts, f. which like i guess it could be, but when the Point is so Directly about the emotional support some kids get from each other / that they Are crowdsourcing protection re: their individual vulnerabilities, that wouldn’t really emphasize that Point so much if regardless of the [having a friend group] everyone was fucked anyways. or the fact that like, again, this is About trauma and what can create it and how that can persist and all, the Magic Rules are about the emotional component of it all, when it’s like, oh this just so happens to be a magic murder entity that’s picking off kids but also prefers to torment them and/or like idk takes the route of going “oh you’re gonna hate this” and hooks up their consciousness via usb cable to the zillionth dimension void & then sips their life force through a crazy straw, or, as it would be to clown entities, a normal straw, and i dunno, that if the usb is unplugged vs eternal living death then the torment juice can give people the interdimensional premonition / telepathy across space & probably time shine(tm) like good for them i guess. call that hypervigilance?

and then that like, into the Adults timeline, not only is there this cheat like woops a stephen king story where adults are friends b/c they’ve reconnected the usb cables where the [friends like the ones i had when i was twelve] has now become immediately relevant and active again, i was like, mad man cinema contemplation meme a bit confused going into the second half until i realized some particular fact of the plot And it was slowly like....we’re kind of goofin huh, is this Being Funnier? b/c i mean, the first one wasn’t not ever funny or like otherwise not super solemn & heavy, and also i’m just Used to horror to the point it’s not gonna like bother me probably, i was watching alone and turned off the lights b/c i couldn’t adjust my screen’s lighting levels & the overhead light in here was gonna create glare via the mirror behind me, and i didn’t think anything of it at any point, i had to also be like “@ me, okay stop saying ‘me’ the moment you realize anything [A Scary Moment] is transpiring for no especial reason,” and yknow, it’s like a roller coaster to me, or i’d say like being tickled except actually i hate that one & will start physically fighting lol, where it’s like yeah aaaaaa but it’s fun & i’m Humored really, i’m experiencing the [horror & comedy are two sides of the same coin], when i’m startled or going like oooh that was, to be sure, creepy, it’s still like, ahaha, i’m figuratively tickled, going :] at the screen, i especially liked the same [ooh hehe yeah that’s eerie] type of moments in both halves like yeah very [your standard marble hornets enjoyer] of me....but anyways so then it did take me an extra few moments maybe in the second half like oh is this Markedly More Humorous? oh it is, then....sort of unexpected but then it immediately makes sense and was Fascinating like, oh, this is so In Conversation With the first movie and with the Overall Story here lmao. like, we are illustrating the Perspective Shift, the [kids timeline] is still relevant and defines everything that’s going on, but they Are adults now and That itself is relevant. b/c otherwise it’s like, it Is just the same situation played over again lmfao like damn we were the [kids fight & defeat a murder sewer clown monster] and now we’re the [adults fight & defeat a murder sewer clown monster]. and Of Course It Makes Sense for there to be overall more Drama for the kids, who are more so just living & immersed in their normal lives in that storyline, and of course, Are Kids, where like anything “was that fucked up or what” that’d happen would be more intense & threatening, and sure applying that perspective like, not only “yeah i’m just experiencing some media, but if that was really happening in life that’d be fucked up, if it was happening for real to me, i’d be like, whoa uh oh holy shit aaaa” lmao, and then an Additional layer of “and if i was twelve” like “yeah aaaa oh shit” way compounded by that, naturally. 

but then i’m Also like, listen, i’d be more like halfway through my 27 yr time jump but i’m the adult with cptsd lmao and so i’m Madmen In The Theatreing because of this angle as well, and intrigued, positively, by the uptick in levity about everything. wherein it’s like okay, it’s sure Also true that like, undo the [and if you were twelve] angle, but The Same kind of fucked up shit happening would of course still be like well this sucks, and is startling, to Anyone who’s an adult, right. But Also like, again the way it’s relevant to touch base with the [kids] timeline, because that’s Defining Everything, this isn’t just “and they’re adults which means everyone’s just tougher than they were when they were kids” and That’s That, it’s like, these are adults who were these specific kids with specific experiences vulnerable to and exposed to bonus trauma, and now this is a “time to jump back in to a head on confrontation with that” plotline but As A Group again rather than this being just the story of like any individuals, or just the main kid/guy, who is now to be sure the [the middle aged writer guy of a stephen king story] lmfao, congrats....and you had [repressed memories but like, magically extensively encompassing] as the device here to as what allows for this outlier scenario of like “but how can adults possibly maintain friendships formed organically in their youth? well, they didn’t lol. but now they’re back.” and the past Has to be relevant and freshly Active because again, this Is directly about trauma lol, not just about whatever broader thing and anyone might secretly have this Hangup or two that’ll get them got. and they all Know this lol, this may be some exclusive knowledge more broadly, but this is Not a secret amongst this group of adults like ah yes my marinating issues that nobody suspects i have....which is a bonus to [even though they’re adults in a stephen king story they don’t all or even mostly have to die] and then like, as i am trying to get around to, that it’d be Different being just any adult approaching this as a new situation to them vs being an adult With Trauma(tm) lol like. the way that one might go “well, this would suck for anyone, but i have a different vulnerability b/c [cptsd involving this shit]” but Then Also the resilience that nobody should have to have and it’s technically a “strength” even though then actually people interpret their [lack of honed ability through direct life experience to cope indefinitely with traumatic experiences] as the strength, a la “wow why’s that person put up with that, i wouldn’t stand for it b/c isn’t it So Clearly Bad & Unpleasant?” victim blaming mentality and people “used” to that shit “putting up with” said shit, which other people would throw up their hands like Wow Just No and walk away from. which in turn isn’t a “weakness” lmao like, there’s no moral judgments to being someone w/trauma or someone without it. that people shouldn’t Have to have cptsd or Resilience, of course, but then that they do. i’m certainly relating to like, yeah it’s Magic Rules / Exaggeration the way that only people young enough can detect & deal with this shit directly, the first time around, and then that they still have access to it as adults presumably b/c of that exposure as kids and because [the childhood trauma doesn’t just Go Away b/c you grew up, even though Also people just think that it ought to or like wow so immature or wow you’re Letting it affect you too strongly still, huh] etc. and anyways, relating to like, yeah enjoyed the way some adults would just be cool & generally supportive, but i also only had so much access to such adults, all Through parents or via school where it’s like, yeah but all the adults there have to Make Sure You’re Behaving Properly in various ways that lead to [punitive] ends and if anyone’s being like particularly supportive / understanding that’s a personal individual choice & they’re probably going Above & Beyond. kind of impressed how useless, and actively unhelpful / counterproductive, any adults were later on when i was dealing with it all the more / had it coming to a head in ways lol, didn’t have an epic friend group i hung out with at twelve or ever who Knew Me that well or i shared anything with or got lifechanging emotional support from, but there Were occasions of like, yeah these peers get it, huh. and now with the perspex of [cptsd having adult] it’s like, yeah, i’d have repeated dreams of parents showing up & i start physically fighting them off with like a shovel and shit lmfao. even now when i rarely have dreams ft. like a more general monster / menacing figure, like i did last night, go figure, Dream Me is always like Oh Okay and immediately physically charges them unarmed lmfao. (also had a dream cameo where some guy on a home computer who was making up like building / engineering schematics? was a Wrole like omg hey buddy. unfortunately a limited interaction, that plot got quickly waylaid by the one where i launch myself at some entity. booo) i can be like “ah, here goes the adrenal response” mostly only noticing sometimes when it’s like, my physical tension has gone to the point of [i can notice my legs/knees shaking], i can also Not Notice It / not think of it b/c you know, it’s like this is truly mundane / everyday shit, in the Relative / Comparative way that it can be. it can be stealth mission time to do some ordinary shit like you live in a survival horror game. it can also go “yeah i could very easily see how if, say, there was this manifestation of trauma / the shit that causes/facilitates/sustains/allows it, i’d go sicko mode on that shit just immediate physical attack” lmao. i know if i’m startled it’s like, that can be a) ordinary, and/or b) unpleasant, and probably c) immediately followed by my being ready to go sicko mode, possibly being a bit pissed off lol. like i can’t even be worried like oh no it’s nighttime what if something was menacing. like yeah that’d be scary and suck, i might get got, i’d also immediately be pissed off like fucking try me you asshole. and it’s like, again the way comedy is A Framework, it’s not what happens when a situation is Lighthearted, Unserious, Frivolous, etc. the like, obvious fact like wow people who are funny can be sad? can have had some fucked up, Serious experiences? can even joke about that? like yeah of course humor can be Deliberately Employed To Cope, including to even communicate about shit, where you’re cueing hard like, i’m not necessarily collapsing under the weight of this right now but it’s a reality and when i’m telling you about it with Humor it’s not in turn asking for you to fix it or even do anything about it at all except be listening to / comprehending the info i’m giving you. and that even looking back on shit can be funny To You because it’s just like, sure Elevated and can be a bit absurd. so it’s like oh yeah of course it’d be funnier, in a way characters are aware of & actively interacting with lmfao. like of course any adult would be like “jesus christ. yikes. aaaa” lol while also being more inclined and able to tackle bullshit right off, but Also being specifically an adult with the [this is your childhood trauma] can be like, yes i’m both still affected by and vulnerable to this shit, but i’m Also less vulnerable than some rando might be, actually, and prepared to / more used to this, and able to go “jesus christ yikes aaaa lmfaooo ahaha” about it. like, i feel that lol. 

paragraph break just because that one was getting Extra long: oh and also the matter of Genre Awareness, that this isn’t just some fucked up shit that happens to be scary and fuck your shit up, but this is expressly an antagonist coming after you with the intention to be scary to you, and you Know that, you are aware you’re in a Horror Genre situation lmao, so meta, surely helpful. and sure sometimes i felt the like comedy vs horror; comedy vs drama sometimes didn’t transition perfectly like, my kind of feeling ambivalent at this one point like uhhh is this scene more straightforwardly dramatic? hmm i guess it was. well anyways. but that’s fine, meanwhile continually delighted even to realize like, here we are going over this all again but with this Shifted Perspective / Framework, we’re clearly goofin a bit. and like how i can clap & cheer like ooh yeah that was creepy lmfao, i got Got comedically like idfk dozen times or what all. ahehe....not to mention the [i Am going insane. society] experience of scrungy expression spit take coughing laughter when overlaying [titanic guy going HaHaHaHaHaHaHa XD as the camera lifts away from overhead] upon [mad man serious contemplation of cinema png] while experiencing like wow the gay Text is more textual than i though, more extensive, turns out i had some things to go into entirely afresh without going “oh yeah, i remember what i osmosis’d about this” to then go :0 =0 about, or that i didn’t quite get Everything through osmosising that i did recall, to then spit take about and become titanic guy fifty times over. i Am a bit joker mode, you really just have to be. and laughing about [when stephen king and PPL go “you know this type of guy” and we all go “yeah i guess. i know Of them [possible knowing looks amongst ourselves, or to the camera]” and then they go “you know how they’re—” and then our answers of “maybe like gay or some shit” overlaps with their “just another heterosexual amongst all the rest of us, unless we’re gay, but we’re talking about how all the protagonists we write are cishet i guess?” like. haha. what an alignment, good for everyone in the overlap....oh and i was like ahahaha when the podcast discussion of The Book Specifically nevertheless had one guy knowing the lore already that the stephen king cameo here as Some Secondhand / Pawn Shop Type Place Owner Guy was someone who, in stephe’s (not a typo, making stephe as = steven happen, with particular enunciation of the ph vs v) own written text as the description of That Guy in the book, is like, this gay caricature who is like wearing some mesh or i think they said it said “fishnet” shirt and like clearly reading this gay porn mag. because how else would someone be gay lmfao? how else would you Know you’ve encountered one of them?? lmfao like, a) i also agree with the podcasters who are like, stephe’s a coward for not staying true to that specific description he wrote when cameo’ing as that person, and b) like, people are gay, stephe....but classic matters of [running down a hallway going Noooo and knocking shit down behind you while being chased by [the way stephen king writes about [take your pick] and/or just like, what do you think is going on in life re: [take your pick] exactly, stephen king, i swear] lol)

anyways This has turned into [gif of the guy emphatically pointing at a laptop and also at some unseen listener to this Serious Monologue] because i have endless things to say about anything. the point it it’s like, well hey i think that was remarkably successful re: choosing to have Characters with Emotional Arcs tied to a Metaphor in this horror media, when usually i’m like, the execution of this is so shit that it’s like, just don’t have characters lol, don’t try to make it a metaphor (although you know, difficult for it not to be tied to anything irl, so don’t be unaware of how it Could be), if it’s gonna be this kind of a mess. the fact that like, you can’t have [trauma] be a character weakness fatal flaw that gets them got b/c they weren’t individually Strong Enough, b/c this is All About a) having & interacting with that [trauma] first and foremost and b) how having a group of relationships affects that (helpfully). my pleasant surprise about how like yeah of course you can’t just make the exact same movie again but i wasn’t necessarily expecting a noticeably more outright comedic angle for round two, but duly kinda delighted by it, and that felt very Appropriate and Verisimilitudinous for the new angle of And You’re Completely Grown. that stephen king Rarely writes about relevant friendships and all the more rarely to never writes about relevant friendships between Adults but whoops, that happened here, b/c there was a magical workaround where “drifting apart” was not entirely congruous to the real life literal actual way that’d happen, and b/c the way this is about childhood trauma means that the Rest of that childhood is relevant to adulthood / adult identities, and he ends up with “god, does anyone?” being answered by “yeah, sometimes” lol. and yeah being a deh enjoyer / being haunted byer / analyzer means anytime something is About the connections someone, say a young person for one, might make and how that can be relevant to All Their Issues, i’m sitting up & taking notes like oh ya don’t say. that stephen king shit overall is like, well this is Interesting and i could talk all day but i’m also like, personally more ambivalent and bound to run over like hey stephe i’m shoving you around, bitch. until we form an unlikely, begrudging alliance to instead go after stanley kubrick, then boo the the shining movie, but whatever. the the shining book ending, one of the few things i particularly remember from actually reading that one, is true like, stephen king endings tending to be a hot mess that maybe aren’t super successful but here we are and it was like, why’d it get so goofy all of a sudden lmfao like i’m telling you with the schrodinger’s boiler that’s old and temperamental and if you don’t maintain it it’ll blow up probably, and that the way things end in the book is the [middle aged dime a dozen writer man protag] being possessed by a hotel is like oh fuck me lmfao, not the boiler i can’t maintain myself even though i’m possessing a hotel, it hasn’t been maintained, and then as always in any of these stories things go off the rails and yakety sax starts to play while after hanna barbera cartoon scrambling in place for a second, your haunted hotel avatar starts sprinting to the basement or wherever it was but Too Late, it blows up and the hotel dies kind of. and that’s kinda fun and funny lol but yknow, put it back in. beating up kubrick aside, i’ve seen all of? nigh all of? wasn’t paying much attention. the movie and it’s like oh okay whatever. but as with like [anything stephen king] and my not even being born till the 90s, it’s like, i can’t possibly experience this afresh, we can all agree that surely this is the best known stephen king work b/w book & film adaptation, even among biggies that really just permeate pop culture overall, who can know what i’d think if these things were New and pre [own significant influence on relevant genres / mediums] or also i was a younger reader/viewer at the times as people could often be. but i was like....expression where you scrunch your face up and look to the side like “are you seeing this” bemusement like...this is. fine i guess? it’s not really scary lmfao. and regardless, resurrecting kubrick to beat him up. but on that note it’s also funny that god knows why i ever mentioned the hypothetical of watching the shining once in passing to my mom, it would’ve been humorous / not in earnest b/c no way would i have been suggesting we watch that or even that i had watched it necessarily, so i Think i must’ve just been informing her of some things that were on tv at that moment with some goofy but technically accurate suggestions like that one, and she is a bit indignant like clearly disapproving of the general idea because, as she says, she doesn’t think it’s Right to tell kids they should ever be afraid of their parents. but between “but like. they go axe murder possessed by a hotel mode here, wherein i think it’s very appropriate?” and [someone who watches It and keeps looking into the camera one zillion times / is fascinated by the fact it’s like oh wow, any horror talking about What If You Had Trauma that isn’t like fundamentally misguided throughout and probably egregiously insulting about it] i take a perfectly comedically timed pause and then we freeze frame on my doing a spit take Laugh into my own drink. not actually in the real moment lol, i just Say Nothing and file that one away lmfao

oh and as a little postscript here i want to shoutout my going “just like Watch Your Step in goosebumps the musical the phantom of the auditorium” where it’s like, schrodinger’s warning about how a kid could just up and accidentally die via this trapdoor or like anywhere anytime, but you don’t really realize that b/c you’re kids, but I’m Telling You. and like, he’s right in general to be sure, you can just die, as well as unknowingly right of course like oops yeah some kid did just up and suddenly die via this trapdoor, grimly. and that’s Stand By Me / The Body handshake emoji It, like of course that mortality is ever relevant particularly in horror, but that also it’s like, kids realizing the reality and Proximity of that, like You Can Die, this could be you or could’ve been you. [horror, and it’s middle schoolers] wins again

[kooksbunnnn]

Helping Hands - Min Yoongi

masterlist

Summary: an innocent intention of helping you with your back pain, turns out to be a breaking point of Yoongi's resistance. 

Warning: a very torturing massage (for the masseuse lol), SMUT, unprotected sex (be more sensible than that people), fingering, clit stimulation, oc crying due to overstimulation, YOONGI FUCKS YOUR THROAT, his long fingers making you cum, ass slapping, sloppy kisses, multiple orgasm, slight dirty talk, its basically filth, porn with slight plot, fluff in the end because we love aftercare right?

Words: 3.2k

Rating: 18+

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"Mmh. Fuck yea-"

Okay, this was not a good idea. When Yoongi tried to help, he didn't think it would be this tough. But you were in pain, he couldn't help it. He never felt his fingers shake, especially on a girl. But this? You?!

The muffled voices, the short-relieved moans, and the deep humming were making him go feral. He cant even see your face and he is so glad he doesn't because that would definitely make him give in. 

He knows you feel good, fuck, you sound so fucking good. The skin under his hands feels smooth, soft, and biteable. He wonders how he could bite and leave purple marks on the inside of your thighs. Fuck, he would make you writhe on his tongue, make your whole body squirm. 

Dammit!? Think of something else Yoongi. Anything!

Jin doing aegyo. Yes. Its works, he just needs to keep thinking about his Jin hyung making cute faces, while he keeps kneading the flesh of your strained waist, without making his crotch touch your ass. Oh, that perfect, round, plum ass. 

Fuck.

While he is trying his best to divert his mind, you're being a complete menace. Knowingly or unknowingly you're giving him a boner and it feels so wrong. He can't help it. He is literally hovering over your thighs, with a boner he wants to let go but the sounds, the groans, oh god help him. 

He looks at the clock and his eyes widen at how only 4 mins have gone. If only he could've kept his mouth fucking shut. 

I could help you with the pain y/n. Trust me.

Fuck his help. He needs it more that you now. He should've called a physiotherapist for fucks sake, when you told him how strained your back is. 

Shifting the pressure to your lower back, he kneads the tense spot on the small of your back. Balancing the pressure in his index and thumb fingers he massages it in circular motions.

You groan at the pressure and your thighs rub against each other. He doesn't want to think over the possibility that you might be wet because fuck that would be so hot. He spreads his palm and slightly pushes against the tight muscle, slight jerks against the skin but maybe it was the wrong move because it makes your hand clutch the pillow in a tight fist. "Mmph" you groan, the way you hold the pillow case makes his mind run wild. 

"Fucking stop." He growls. 

"What happened?"

You try turning over to get up, but he pushes you down with a hand on your neck. Gasping, you turn your head sideways, looking up at him, his eyes were already on you. You feel shivers running up your spine at the darkness visible in his eyes.

"Yoongi? Is everything okay? Did I make you uncomfortable?" You ask with a pout, with feigned innocence in your voice. You're playing dirty. 

His lips turn into a sneer and he sees how your lips twitch at his reaction, smirking at this, he asks bending forward a little. "Are you really playing dumb right now?"

He can see through you, the smile you try to keep in, the way your cheeks turn slightly red at his close proximity. Breaths turning ragged slowly. He knew you were up to something, with the amount of sexual tension going on between you two, this was bound to happen. 

Being roommates was not very easy for you two, him walking in on you taking a shower, then the shorts resting just below your ass while you cook the breakfast in the kitchen, moving your hips slightly to the tune playing in the background.

It was fucking frustrating. 

Later he realized, that you were doing it on purpose after he called the drunken kiss a mistake two weeks earlier. He didn't want to make you feel awkward since you both were roommates. But you were on a damn mission.  

He even had to take a cold shower the day before because apparently, you were into popsicles now. Sucking the soul out of it, he wanted to feel your lips around him so much, he wanted you to lick his dick just the way you were licking the Popsicle's tip. He had to hold in a whimper when you made eye contact with him, hollowing your cheeks. How did Joon and Tae not see your ministrations? He doesn't fucking know. 

But today? He really wanted to help. You came home late after an overtime shift at the restaurant. He knows how hectic being a chef is because he saw his older brother complain of back aches very often. You were complaining about the no chair policy in the kitchens lately too! So he thought he should help. Well, your plan worked, cause he was gonna fuck the shit out of you. 

Chuckling, he sits up and flips you on your back. 

"You think you're very slick with this push and pull, huh?"

Your hands automatically try to reach up to him but he hold your wrists and brings them beside your head. Leaning in, he drags your hands against the couch leading them above your head. His warm breath fanning on your skin, making it flush.

"I don't know what you're saying, Yoongi."

Smiling at your devilishly innocent doe eyes, he bites lightly at the apple of your cheeks. You squeeze your eyes shut when he moves his lips to the spot beneath your ear. He bites at your earlobe and you squirm in his hold. 

Spreading your legs with his knee he makes himself comfortable between your thighs and its then, when you feel how hard he is. You whimper involuntarily and he chuckles near your ear deeply. 

"I wanna fucking ruin you, princess." He says rutting his hips in your clothed core and you gasp. He is not rushing anything. He is very slow with his thrusts, you can feel how hard he is and you wanna rip both your clothes off but damn his strength, he is holding your arms down with one hand. 

You feel yourself leak, you feel it ooze out of you making you clench your thighs together but its of no use because min yoongi is nestled between your legs. He ruts into you and arch your back. 

"Fuck, yoongi t-touch me, please"

He licks down to your collarbone, biting and sucking in his way. His other free hand comes to your waist, going inside your spaghetti top and you gasp lightly at his cold fingertips. 

He comes up and looks into your eyes, your mouth is slightly parted and you shut your eyes in embaressment. His eyes are too observant for you, you feel too vulnerable. 

"Ah-ah, sweetie. Keep your eyes on me"

You open your eyes hesitantly, which makes him smile. Leaning down he kisses you softly, lips moving in sync, its so soft that it makes you melt. You're kissing Yoongi, your roommate. The kiss makes you feel like floating and you moan whenhis tongue enters your mouth. So much warmth and overwhelming feelings that your head feels dizzy. 

You feel his fingers reach your underboob and you shiver at his touch on your bare chest. He detaches from your lips cursing under his breath, he cups your breast, eyes flicking twice between your face and chest. 

Gasping at his fingers rubbing your perked up bud, your back arches slightly and your eyes squeeze again. Suddenly he pinches your sensitive nipple making you moan, "You sound so perfect, baby."

Giving your cheek a wet sloppy kiss, he drags his tongue down your neck slightly loosening his grip on your hands. He leans down and rips the strap on one side of your top, making your boob pop out. Freeing your hands in the process, they fly straight to his head wanting eagerly to touch him. 

But he pins them back, getting up suddenly, looking straight into your eyes. 

"Hold them still, and keep watching me." He says as he leaves your hands and gets back to your chest. Locking eyes with you he smirks and puts his tongue out. You watch as he uses his long ass tongue to give kitten licks to your perked up buds and your body jerks. His other hand busy rolling your nipple in between his index finger and thumb. 

He chuckles at your red face and how flustered you look. The way he licks at your nipple, you feel so exposed. Not that you dont like it, you just feel so open to his eyes and his hungry gaze is making you heat up. 

You feel his hand moving from inside your tank top to the waist band of your joggers. He circles the tip of his tongue around your nipple, making shivers travel down your body. Lifting his head, his hand goes inside your pants and panties at the same time cupping your soaked core making you moan.

He rests his forehead against your collarbone with a deep groan. His middle finger parting your folds and you clutch your hair in order to not move your hands. Your stomach twitches at the sensitivity and his deep voice. Breathing shakily, the room is only filled with the sound of deep shaky breathes and groans. 

"You're so wet, so warm."

"Y-yoongi please please fuck do somethin- ah!"

He slides his middle finger on your clit raising his head at the same time, locking his eyes with yours. "So fucking greedy." He bites your skin with a growl and you cry out at the sensitiveness all around your body. 

His tongue at your collarbones, his fingers on your clit, rubbing you so deliciously, hands under his command, the eye contact and the anticipation of not knowing his next move makes your body shake. 

"Yoongi please I need you inside me, please." You gasp because you feel like you're hyperventilating and you might faint if you dont cum anytime soon.

"Do you now?" 

He starts rubbing your clit in smaller sharper circles and a moan escapes from the back of your throat, eyes shutting, you feel like your body is on fire. 

"Fuck fuck please fucking hell-"

He inserts two of his fingers and latches his mouth on your nipple at the same time. You moan lewdly and he just chuckles around the nipple while he fucks you with his fingers. 

Your high pitched 'ah ahs' makes him want to destroy you, he twists his finger in a come hither motion while his thumb rubs at your clit. He sits up and removes your joggers along with your panties. Leaning back down and latching his mouth to the other ignored nipple, renetering you with his fingers as you breathe heavily. 

"P-Please make me come fuck, pleasepleasepleas-"

His fingers hit the spongy spot in your walls and he groans. He looks up, as you twist in oversensitivity, rubbing constantly against that one spot which makes you see stars. 

He wants to see you, see you come and writhe beneath him. He lifts his face off your boob and grits out, "Eyes on me, if you ever wanna come, baby." You sob as your body arches, he holds your hips down as he works his fingers with his other hand. 

"Look at me." He says firmly. 

You squeeze you eyes tightly gathering enough strength to make eye contact with him, opening your eyes you look at him and he smiles, watching you through the black bangs covering his eyes, he is so evil. Sitting up, he shifts his weight on his legs and uses the other hand to rub at your clit and the other to fuck against your spot. Your pussy gushes at this and he knows you're close. 

Your body tightens and your eyes roll back, he groans at the sight as you clutch your hair with one hand and gripping his wrist with the other. 

"F-Fuck yeah. Come all over my fingers, baby. You're fucking soaking."

Your body twitches and whatever he says is white sound to you as you hear your heartbeat in your ear. Your nails digging in his hand, and the other digging in your scalp. You came after so long and you came so much. 

You push his hand away at the overstimulation, and close your thighs due to the sensitivity. He leans in to kiss you but its a very brief one because you needed to breathe. 

"Fuck, I knew you had good hands." You chuckle breathily and he laughs at your comment. 

"You take a minute, princess, cause I am nowhere done with you." 

You giggle as you watch him get up. Removing his trousers and boxers to sloppily work up his cock. He strokes it slow and your mouth waters at the sight. His cock is pretty just like him. The prominent vein on his cock makes your tongue come out to wet your lips. 

You watch hungrily as he uses his thumb to gather the precum and use it make the strokes easier and sloppier. 

"You know?"

He says stepping forward towards you and you sit up on the couch, he comes up and rests his hand on your head, weaving his fingers through your hair. Titling your head, he wipes the wetness on your cheek with his thumb. 

"I used to love popsicles"

He uses the same thumb to run over your bottom lip as he pulls it downwards. You open your mouth slightly and he scoffs, stroking his cock with the other hand. You gasp when he grips your hair in a tight grip, wincing at the pain and pleasure combo. 

"But fuck them for making me feel so helpless that day." He grits out as he leaves his length to grab your hair in a ponytail, you part your lips and push your tongue out. Scoffing at your face he brings his dick to your mouth and you raise your hand to rest at his thighs. 

"Tap my thigh if it's too much okay?"

You nod. And he pushes in, groaning at your warmth, "fucking hell, baby" he groans with his eyes shut. You try to control your gag reflex but his length touches the back of your throat and you let out a lewd gag making him moan. He shudders as you roll your tongue around his length brushing against the vein as he pushes back and forth. Pulling back he enters your mouth once again and your eyes tear up when you feel his dick in your throat. 

"Yes. Thats it."

He says while gathering your hair and holding them as your eyes let out tears. Your slightly smudged mascara now covering your cheeks in blotches. 

"So warm. So fucking warm." He says through his teeth and you relax your throat before swallowing around him.

He moans deeply at that and you feel your cunt clench at the sound. Pulling out, he leans down at your face level and asks, "Are you on the pill?" You nod before taking deep breaths and looking at him through blurry eyes. 

He smiles before kissing you, almost falling back on the couch. He kisses you wet and urgently before lifting and flipping you on all your fours. Getting up on the couch, he gets behind you, smacking your ass cheek with a scoff bringing out a moan from you. He parts your legs and brings his fingers to your pussy to rub it in rough circles, making you whine out in frustration. 

He chuckles at your impatience and slaps your ass once again. You are about to turn and tell him to please fuck you but you get cut off when he pushes his dick inside you in one smooth thrust. You lose your balance and your head falls onto the cushion giving Yoongi the perfect arch of your back. He puts his palm on your neck and keeps the pressure there as he sets a pace that makes your eyes water, and drool forming in your mouth. 

He doesnt say anything, nor could you, the room is filled with pornographic skin slapping sounds and deep groans and moans along with high pitched whines.

Snaking his hand around your waist he pulls you up against himself, the couch cushions making squeaks as he fucks you into oblivion, you whine at the building orgasm and he chases his own high. You clench around him when he wraps one hand around your throat.

He puts more pressure around your neck. Not blocking your air passage and making it hard to breath, just making you light headed. 

"Yes. Fuck baby, I'm gonna cum. You're gonna make me cum. "

His breathy voice makes you clench. His words gritted out of his teeth indicating his climax. You reach your hand around and tug at his hair which makes him growl and reach his hand down to rub at your clit. 

Your thighs shake and you cum around his cock with a long and deep moan, making him fall off the edge too. He stills inside you and you fall on the cushions in front of you as he grips your hips while releasing. You both groan at the warm feeling of his cum spurting inside you and he gives two harsh thrusts to milk his cock entirely. 

You both stay in the same position panting and heaving until both of your highs go away. Pulling out he winces at the sensitivity and plops down on the sofa with heavy breaths. You turn around half naked with just a half torn tank top on your stomach. 

Kicking at his arm playfully, you ask for something to cover you up. "I feel cold, help me out. I cant feel my fucking legs." You chuckle and he smiles at you. You lift your leg again to kick him, but he stops it mid-air and bites your ankle. You laugh at him as he smiles and picks you up in bridal style. 

"I am a gentleman, for your information, if you didnt notice it yet."

"Oh I did notice it when you offered me a massage, you softie."

"I will drop your ass down if you say that again." He says playfully, smiling and you laugh along with him. 

After getting a nice hot bath, making out for 15 mins in the bathtub, you both change into fresh pair of clothing and play stone paper scissors to decide in whose bed you want to cuddle in. Him being the champion of this game, he won.

Laying in his bed, him spooning you, you whisper. "Yoongi?"

"Mm?" He mumbles.

"You know I like you right?" Your heart beats fast as you say this cause this would get complicated if it turned out to be a one night thing for him, because you actually had feelings.

When he doesnt answer for two seconds, you feel your heart sink and regret starts forming in you, wishing that you didnt provoke him for a meaningless fuck. 

"Me too, princess." He mumbles against your ear and you audibly sigh out in relief to which he squeezes you with his hands around your waist, nuzzling his head into your neck, pecking the top of your head. You smile as you feel sleep take over your mind, the warmth of each others bodies making you both fall into a slumber. 

The next morning you woke up with not only a sore back, but a lot of sore muscles, but at least it was worth it. 

[lacroixwh0r3]

Watch me, Touch me (part 2)

Neighbor!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: You've been avoiding Bucky after that night, but he isn't ready to let you go yet.

Part 1

Warnings: SMUT!!!, unprotected sex, creampie, spit, orgasm denial, dry humping, clothes ripping, alcohol usage, petnames (doll, honey, etc.), rough sex, mentions of exhibitionism/voyeurism, and teasing

Song inspo (feel free to listen if you want):

A/N: I am sooo freaking sorry for being gone for so long...I barely had a break this summer because I was taking classes and this is my final year in college (thank god!). But I will definitely try to write more when I can. Also I am so sorry about the errors in the first part...I did not read over it but I'll fix any errors when I get a chance lol. Anyway, ENJOY<3

"God, how long is this going to take?" I asked myself out loud as I impatiently waited for the papers to come out of the printer so that I could get home before the storm started. I'll be damned if I have to walk home during a storm in a skirt and heels.

Once my papers were done printing, I sped to my desk with my head down to avoid anyone speaking to me. That was until I felt my phone vibrate in my hand. I stop to check it and see that it's Bucky, once again asking if he did anything wrong.

I just sigh and shut off my phone before heading to my desk again.

It's been weeks since Bucky and I last spoke to each other.

After that night, we only spoke for a week until I realized I was getting too attached to him. I didn't want to end up with a broken heart because he seemed like an amazing guy, handsome, and his dick was like, really big.

I dropped the papers off at my desk, slipped on my jacket, and ran to the elevator. Once I was finally in, I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the elevator walls, feeling exhausted. I wanted to do nothing more than just go to sleep right now.

I hear the elevator ding, indicating that it was going to stop for someone else. As it comes to a complete stop, I hear the sound of the doors opening, and someone walks on.

"Hello," a familiar voice says to me, causing my eyes to shoot open and me to jerk my head to where the familiar voice came from. Right in front of me was Bucky. He went to press the button for the floor he wanted, but I guess we were going to the same place.

Once he noticed that I was looking at him, he looked back at me, and his eyes widened at the sight of me in front of him.

"Y-y/n? "You work here?" He inquired, surprised that I was present.I break eye contact with him and look at the front of the elevator.

"Uh, yeah, I do," I simply reply, not wanting to look at him right now.For a moment, it was awkward, and for the next 40 seconds, which felt like hours, we both made it to the lobby of the building.

As soon as the doors opened, I dashed out of the elevator as I heard the sound of Bucky behind me. "Hey, Y/n! "Wait a minute, can we talk?" Bucky pleaded with me. The two doormen open the large doors as I quickly run out of the lobby, bidding them a quick "thank you" and "see you later" as I ignore Bucky.

As soon as I make it out the door, the rain instantly blinds me, causing me to almost run into a jogger. However, Bucky's vibranium hand quickly grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his body before I could run into the person. "You need to watch out," Bucky says to me as we both stand in the rain, pressed against each other. "You could've gotten hurt badly, y/n." He whispered. Just hearing the way he said my name made me weak in the knees.

"Sorry..." I mumble as I try to avoid his hard gaze.

"How about I take you--"

"NO!" I said this before he could even finish his sentence. I can't be alone with him.

"It's raining, yes," he pleads with me. "I know you're avoiding me right now, but please let me take you home?" I let out a sigh and looked at him only to find him already staring at me with large, hopeful eyes.

"Please?" He begs again.

I finally give in, not wanting to leave him hanging even more.

"Fine," I say to him. I really hope I don't regret this.

"Thank you, my car is just up the street. We should start walking fast." He tugs at my arm as he begins to walk in the direction of the car. He was still tugging on my arm as I tried to keep up with him, but due to the wet clothes on my body and my uncomfortable heels, it was too hard.

Finally, we make it to what I assume is his car. He lets go of my arm to dig into his back pocket to get the keys to the car. I reach out my arm to open the door, but he beats me to it and opens it for me.I just shake my head and give him a look of disapproval.

"Thanks, Bucky," I say to him as I slip into the expensive car. As soon as he closed the passenger door, I looked around the spotless car and noticed the clean leather seats, cringing at the fact that they were probably going to be ruined now because of our wet clothes. Bucky finally gets in the car and instantly presses the button to start it up.

It was silent as Bucky made his way towards our apartment. I decided to speak up and lessen the awkward silence by saying, "I am so freaking sorry about messing up your nice seats." I say to him as I look over at him with a guilty look. He looked so good while driving with that concentrated look on his beautiful face that it made me clench my legs even harder.

"No, it's fine," she says.He takes his eyes off the road for a slight moment and looks into my eyes and down at my legs as my skirt goes farther up my thighs, but he quickly looks back at the road and clears his throat.

I swear, for a split second, there was a look in his eyes that could bring any person to their knees. In order to contain myself, I bite my bottom lip and look out the window. I was afraid I might say or do something I'd regret later. My mind then starts to drift off to the first time I "met" Bucky.

I soon snapped out of my daydreaming when I realized that we were sitting in the slightly dark parking garage at our apartment complex and Bucky was calling my name.

"Y/n? "Are you okay?" Bucky asked me with a concerned look on his face once I snapped my head towards him. I just nodded my head, still not trusting myself to speak.

"Are you sure, doll?"  "You were squirming in your seat for a while," he said, making my face flush with embarrassment. He was watching me get turned on the entire time I was thinking about the time we both watched each other through the window.

"Um yeah, I was just thinking about something—work!" "You know how work gets." I let out an awkward laugh, trying to get off the topic quickly. Bucky lets out a small hum and chuckles a bit as he looks at me and turns the car off, almost like he knows what I am actually thinking about.

He most definitely knew what I was thinking about, but I would never admit it out loud.

We both get out of the car and begin walking to the elevator. "Thanks for the ride, Bucky," I say softly as I give him a weak smile, causing him to smile back and brush his fingers through his long locks.

"Anytime, sweet girl," our stroll returned to silence, but not before he asked me a question."Do you want to come over for a drink?"

When he noticed my hesitation, he quickly clarified that it was only one drink and I was free to say no if I didn't want to. Even though I knew I should've said no, I still agreed.

Soon, we arrive at the door of his apartment. He quickly scrambles for his keys, unlocks the door, and pushes the door open. He allows me to go first and closes the door behind himself. Surprisingly enough, the apartment was one of the cleanest places I've been to.

"Your place is so clean, Bucky, I'm a little shocked," I say to him jokingly as I look around the apartment that was slightly the same as mine. I see him snap his head towards me as he drops his keys on the countertop.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Y/N?" Bucky lets out a laugh.

"I'm kidding," I reassured him. "Your place is one of the cleanest places I've ever seen."

He lets out a hum in response.

"So, I have red wine or some whiskey. Which one do you want?" He asks me as he looks into my eyes and leans against his arms on the countertop.

The dim light and the way he looked at me right now made me want to climb up and let him have his way with me, but I resisted the urge.

"Hmm, you pick." He bites his lip and turns around to grab the glasses. He grabs one wine glass and another short glass for the whiskey, which I would assume is for him. He sits them down and begins to pour the drinks for them.

"Here you go, sweetheart," he says to me as he hands me the wine glass. I felt my heart beat out of my chest due to the nickname and our fingertips touching as he handed me the glass.

"Thank you, Buck." I spoke to him softly.

"Of course," he says before taking a quick sip of his whiskey. "How about we have a seat, hmm?" Bucky leads me to the couch.

I put my drink down and plopped down on the couch so that I was facing him. We both sat there for a minute just looking at each other until a smile slowly crept onto his face, causing us both to laugh.

After a couple of seconds, we both begin to cool down, and he immediately asks me the question I've been avoiding. "Why haven't you answered my calls or texts, Y/N?" His face was now laced with concern.

"Was it something I did?" He followed up.

"Bucky, "It was nothing you did that caused me to stop responding," I sighed."I just didn't want to get attached in case you didn't want anything to do with me."

I look down, but he quickly grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Y/n, I would never lead you on." He reassures me as he searches my face and strokes my chin with his thumb.

"After that first night with you, I knew I needed to have more of you." He bites his lip once more, which causes my eyes to focus on his lips.

"Do you understand me?" Bucky asked me sternly. I just let out a hum, but I guess that wasn't enough for him because his grip on my chin got more firm. "Words baby."

"Yes, Bucky," I whisper back to him. At this point, I wanted to climb into his lap and fuck him into oblivion. I needed him.

"Good girl." He was now looking at my lips as his thumb swiped across my bottom lip.

The sexual tension was out of control, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to control myself much longer.

He suddenly pulls me onto his lap, causing me to let out a yelp. I could feel his cock pushing against my pussy through my tights as I was sitting right on top of it. I knew he could feel the warmth of my pussy due to his cock stirring in his pants and his thighs slightly flexing as he pushed his hips against me to get more friction.

"Did I do this to you, Bucky?" I whisper in his ear as my breathing gets heavier. I feel his lips slowly ghosting down my neck.

"Fuck yes, Y/n." He lets out a breathy whisper, causing me to shiver. I feel his hands move down my back and stop on my ass.

He pushes me down farther as he grinds against me. I could feel my puss pulsing. I needed him right now. I've been craving him, and now that I have him, I'm not sure I can let go.

He kisses my neck softly as we both let out gentle low moans and dry hummed each other like teenagers.

"Bucky-shit—I need you in me right now, baby," I whined out to him as I threw my head back in euphoria.

"Yeah? "Are you going to be a fucking good girl for me?" He grunted as he left his hand up and quickly brought it down to spank my ass.

"Ye-oh, my god!"

"What was that doll?" He spanks my ass once more as he waits for my reply.

"Fuck, yes, Bucky!" I moan out loudly. "I'll be your good girl, only for you."

"Only for me?" Bucky whispers in my ear, causing me to push my pussy down on him more and to clench around nothing.

"Only you, Bucky." I say as I bite down harshly on my lip. He grabs the back of my neck and pushes down on my ass as he flips us over so I'm laying on my back on the sofa and he's sitting between my legs.

Bucky bunches my skirt up some more so that he has better access to my pussy. He then rips my thin tights and rips my underwear, which were apparently too flimsy.

"Bucky!" I let out a gasp, getting ready to scold him because he ripped my underwear, but I was quickly interrupted by my own moans as he brought his rough yet soft fingers down on my clit and slowly began to rub it in small, gentle circles.

"I'm sorry, baby, I needed to get to this pretty little pussy fast." Bucky says as he leans in for a rough kiss. All I could do was moan into his mouth.

However, he suddenly pulls away from the kiss and removes his fingers from my clit. I let out a small whine out of frustration.

"I'm sorry, baby, I know you're wet already, but I'm going to need to get you even more wet." He says this as he brings his fingers up to his mouth and spits onto the tips of his fingers. Bucky then rubs the spit-covered fingers onto my clit as I let out a loud sob of pleasure. I know I'm loud right now, but I couldn't help it.

"You like this, huh?" He looks up at me with his beautiful eyes as he keeps himself up with a metal arm. "You like it when I please you like this, darling?"

"Fuck, Buck. Yes more!" I let out a groan.

"I'll give you more doll, but can you take them?" He teased me as he continued to play with me. I whine again as I pull his head close to my chest.

"Who am I kidding? I know you can, my little whore, isn't that right?" All I could do was just nod my head. I couldn't even form words at this very moment.

He suddenly stops once again and says, "Bucky." I moan loudly, becoming more and more frustrated as he teases me. This time, he jumps off the couch and stands on top of me, unbuckling his pants.I could now see the outline of his thick, erect cock through his boxers.

Bucky then pulls down his boxers too. His cock springs out as it is released, causing me to gasp. Even though I had seen it before, touched it, sucked it, and had it in me, I was still shocked by his size. He chuckles at my reaction.

"Oh, baby, don't be shocked now. I know you can take it just like the other times, right?" He chuckles and lets out another beautiful moan as he begins to stroke it slowly. The way his arm flexed as his hand moved back and forth on his cock while his metal arm stroked his torso made me even more wet.

"Buck baby, please—I need you in me now," I beg him as my hands inch down to my pussy. The ache inside me only grew stronger and stronger, and I had to relieve it somehow.

"Fine, baby, since you've been good." Bucky says as he spits on his plump, pink lips.He climbs between my legs and pushes my legs open so that I am exposed to him. I could feel his thick, warm cock rub against my pussy. We both let out loud moans.

"You're getting me so wet already, baby, and I'm not even inside you yet." As he continues to thrust his tongue between my lips, he says. "Do you like it when I do this, hmm, doll?" Bucky looked at me before lifting his shirt and biting his lip at the lewd view. I decided to look down too and was met with the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

"Oh Bucky, look at us, baby." I breathe out. He moans in response and continues his thrust, but once he goes back, I decide to reach between us and guide his cock into me. We both let out loud, sharp gasps once he thrust in again. I felt myself stretch around his length.

"Holy fuck!" He moans as he slowly thrusts into and out of me.Bucky decides to lift both of my legs and push them up as his strokes begin to go faster.

"Oh my god, Bucky," I almost yelled out. "You feel so fucking good, so fucking deep inside me!" This only encouraged him to go even faster. I felt as though his balls slapped against my ass, causing a loud sound of our skin meeting together. He bent down and attacked my lips with his. Both of our tongues moved against each other as he let out a few grunts here and there in the kiss as I whimpered.

I sucked at his bottom lip, but he jerked back, looking down, and pulled up his sweatshirt, which had felt down his chiseled abs. His once perfectly slicked back hair was now unkempt. I had begun to feel my pussy clench down on him tighter as that familiar feeling that we both were chasing got closer. I was ready to release.

"Baby, I'm about to come!" I moan out as I throw my arms above my head, unsure of what to do with them at that moment.

"Yeah? You're going to cum for me, good girl?" He asked me teasingly.

"Yes-Fuck Bucky!" I moan and close my eyes, ready to release, but I guess Bucky had other plans because he pulled out of me before I could even complain.

This dirty motherfucker

"Hmm, I'm not so sure, dirty girl..." He lets out the sexiest laugh as he wraps his hand around the base of his cock. He pushes my legs up again with his metal arm and begins to flick the tip of his cock against my clitoral. I was becoming overwhelmed by the feeling.

"Bucky, what are you doing to me? Oh my god!" I moan. I reached around my thighs as I tried to get him to slow down his fast motions. He then pushed inside of me again, but this time he had gripped the back of my thighs as he roughly gripped me. I couldn't even breathe at this point—all of my senses were overwhelmed.

Bucky was concentrated as he thrust into me hard, never making a single sound as he looked deeply into my eyes. The loud clapping sounds could be heard throughout the whole apartment, most likely in the hallway too. The thought of someone hearing us only turned me on more.

I opened my mouth to let out a moan, but nothing came out. His thrust never slowed down, causing beads of sweat to begin to form and roll down the side of his face.

This was a different side of Bucky I had ever seen; there was almost something animalistic about him right now. That didn't frighten me though...I only wanted more.

His grip on my thighs tightened as he got closer to coming. "Are you going to cum for me, big boy? Hmm?" I moaned. He didn't respond to me, but he began to let out deep moans. His thrusts started to get sloppy as his orgasm got closer.

He lets go of my thighs and leans his body onto mine so he can kiss my neck. The sensation of his breath hitting my next, his cock repeatedly hitting my spot...I knew that I was going to cum. As he came inside me hard, he let out the loudest moan I've ever heard from him. This caused my orgasm to hit me like a truck.

"Oh my god, I'm fucking cumming Bucky," I moan as I pull him closer to me by his hair.

"You're cumming all over me, pretty girl." He moans into my ear. We were both cumming together at this point and loudly moaning. I feel his hot soup begin to fill me up. His body shook and hardened against mine as he reached his release. My pussy clenched even tighter around his cock.

"Do you like cumming around this cock as I feel you up?" Yeah?" He kissed my neck some more as he was coming down from his orgasm. I just whimpered and nodded my head as I was coming down from my orgasm too. I couldn't speak even if I tried. His hips were now slowly moving until he decided to stop and just lay on top of me.

We both sat there in silence for a little bit, as his cock was still in me. Bucky then finally decided to pull out, causing us both to gasp, and he looked down at my pussy as his cum slowly leaked out of me.

"Doll, look at you. My messy cum is leaking out of that beautiful pussy." He almost coos at me as his finger tips gently swipe the cum back inside me.

I decided to sit up and stare at the handsome man in front of me. I felt like I was glowing, like I could be whatever with Bucky.

He looks up at me as I stare at him, causing him to tilt his head like a lost puppy. "Are you okay, honey?" He asked me with a concerned look on his face.

"Of course I am Buck; I was just looking at how handsome you are." I smile at him sweetly wanting to do nothing more than sit there and cuddle with him on his comfy couch. His cheeks began to get red as he blushed and looked back at me with a shy look.

I made Bucky flustered. This causes my heart to flutter against my chest.

"Aww, thank you, honey. You look amazing right now too." Bucky tells me as he leans forward to kiss my head and pinches my cheek afterwards.

"Come on, let's go get in the shower and get some food after. Does that sound good to you?" He asked me as he climbed off the couch and reached for my hand.

"That sounds great, handsome." I grab his hand, and he begins to lead us to his bathroom.

[whoreadsnowadays]

You know the typical scene where the Hero has to convice you to stay away from the danger, to take shelter or something? That there's no other option or no more argument about it; and then s/o pull from his plaston (chest) and kiss him on the lips, with an explosion in the background. "You better come back." They say firmly, to not cry. Rise! Turtles reaction? Think that It might be their FIRST KISS❣️

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS DUDE I LOVE THIS PROMPT SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA- I rly took this and ran with it so they're a little long lol but GOD I LOVE SM

Honestly it's written like a one-shot and I could've absolutely changed the formatting, but I'm writing this under my desk in the middle of class I'm not takin any chances by taking longer :[

-

Warnings: mentioned character death, cussing, general angst, pls lemme know if anything else should be warned !

( Romantic ) Rise ! Turtles x Gender Neutral Reader

-

"Come Back."

The explosions are loud behind you, you can barely think past the sound and the flashes and feeling of the ground shaking beneath your feet.

You look at him, trying not to let your anxiety show. His brothers have already moved towards the fight, but he stayed back a bit, for you.

It's obvious that he's not going to be left behind for long, he knows he's needed, and so do you.

"..I'm coming with." You decide, standing up straight with shaking legs.

His expression contorts into one of pure horror. An emotion you had never seen from him.

You step forward, determined to stride past him into the fray, but his hands on your shoulders stop you.

- Raph -

He looks like he's about to break down in front of you

Sure you've seen him scared before, smelled him scared before too, but this? This is different than a simple spider in the kitchen, this is serious. This is life or death.

"Please don't. Please. I can't- I'm already risking my brothers- my family.. I can't risk you too."

"Raph-"

"You don't know how to fight! All you know is simple defense moves- this is big! Really big! I can't- you can't go, you can't, please don't-"

It hurt to listen to him like this. It hurt to see him slowly crumble in front of you, so obviously scared for everyone around him.

You made a decision then and there, hoping that it was the right one

He stared down at the ground in front of you, still begging with you not to go, when suddenly your hands were on his face and your lips were on his.

Oh.

You pulled back, tears streaming down both your faces.

There was a moment of silence between the two of you, before you sniffled and nodded resolutely.

"You better come back." You demand of him, voice shaking as you slowly step back to let him go.

He takes a big deep breath and nods, slowly moving away from you as well.

"I will."

And then he's gone, and you're left to hope.

- Donnie -

He looks at you with a barely contained scowl

He's holding your shoulders as tight as he can, and you can feel him shake as he does so.

"You're going to get yourself killed."

His voice is as level as he can make it, trying so hard not to collapse into a panic attack.

"Donnie-" you try to protest, your voice displaying every intense emotion you were feeling at once, and that about broke him

"No! No you can't come with us! You can't fight, it's too dangerous for an on field medic, you're going to get yourself killed!"

"What about you?! What if you die?! Huh? What if your tech malfunctions, or they rip off your battle shell and leave you defenseless? What then!?"

You practically yelled in his face, and he simply gaped at you as you did so

You felt bad as soon as the words fell from your mouth, and you couldn't help the tears that fell as you glanced down to the ground between the both of you

"I.. I'm sorry D, I-"

And then he was kissing you.

Leaning forward and holding your shoulders even tighter than before. He was kissing you like his life depended on it.

You gaped at him as he pulled away, staring at you with unshed tears in his eyes.

"I'll be careful. Extra careful. I.. I'll be back, and we can.. do whatever you want. Okay?"

You stared at him for a moment, before a teary smile found its way onto your face.

"Okay. Yeah."

He nodded shakily, slowly letting go of your shoulders before taking a step or two back.

He gave you one last look before he flew out of sight.

You took a breath and nodded resolutely, turning when you heard the terrified screams from the new york civilians.

You couldn't be on the front lines, but, you decided, you could handle crowd control.

- Leo -

You can tell he's struggling with himself, trying to decide what route to take in this situation

Normally you'd give him time to think over his words, knowing his brain worked a little too fast sometimes

But now there was no time to think.

"Leo I'm coming with, I'm not letting you guys go by yourself. I can't.. I can't let you go by yourself."

Leo met your gaze and seemed to come to a decision, giving you a small smile.

"We'll be okay. You just have to trust us yeah?"

"How do you know that?"

"I just do-"

"No you don't Leo! You don't know!" You exclaimed, causing his smile to fall right off his face

"You have no idea what's about to happen! and I need to be there in case you all-!"

He panicked and reached for your face, pressing his lips to yours in one quick movement

The action stunned you into silence, and you watched as he pulled back, a little surprised with himself.

After a moment of nothinh, he gave you another smile, obviously forced, but trying so hard.

"We'll be fine. Me and the others are just.. we're out for patrol? Yeah? And we'll be back before you know it."

You blinked at him, before slowly nodding, playing along with his ploy to calm you.

"Okay. Okay, I'll.. see you when you get back" you mumbled, and his smile became just a bit more genuine

"Yeah. See ya." And then he was turning, rushing off to catch up with his brothers, as you turned away from them all, forcing yourself to believe Leo's obvious lie.

They'd be back. And you'd help them if they.. just so happened to have a few injuries from, "patrol"

- Mikey -

He stared for a second before pulling you into a tight hug.

You hugged back as tight as you could, and you both mutually felt the other shake in your arms.

He buried his face in your shoulder, mumbling his words almost inaudibly

"Please don't, I can't stop you but please don't." Hearing his broken voice made your tears finally fall

"I.. If I don't come then you might.."

"It won't help if you do!" He exclaimed, squeezing you even tighter.

"I want you to come and be there, I want to be able to see you at all times, but I'd only be putting you in danger!" He sobbed, lifting his head to look at you.

You watched as he broke down in front of you, begging you to understand why you couldn't come with.

But the only thing you could really think of is how much you loved him. And how little time you potentially had left.

You slowly raised your hands to his face, staring into his eyes as he slowly quieted under your gaze

You leaned forward, pressing your lips to his as softly as you could, trying to portray every ounce of love you felt for him.

He stared at you with stars in his eyes as you pulled away, a small smile forming on your face despite it all

You'd give anything to just pluck him away from all this, but unfortunately, that was impossible.

"Okay." You mumbled, nodding once.

He sniffled, reaching up to wipe his eyes before meeting your gaze again and nodding back.

"Okay."

And with one final squeeze, you pushed him off of you and towards his brothers, giving him a reassuring smile as he ran off into the battle.

He'd be okay. And so would you. You'd have a happily ever after if it killed you.

[weebsinstash]

Question, and you can ignore this if it’s too deep for you

Have you ever heard or watched Moral Orel? Cuz there was a moment with the nurse girl that really stood out to me and it was just… woah

Cuz I may have an ask about this cuz I’m so INVESTED in the doppelgänger us and wanted to send some asks if that’s okay with you ☺️

Love it 💜🦋

I'm kind of vaguely aware of what it's all about, and I have a feeling you're talking about the woman with the age regression trauma in the episode that got the show canceled lmao 💀

But yeah anyone is free to send in ideas and feedback, although answering can be kind of on a whim sometimes since I'm. All over the place. I'm terrible at answering and being consistent lol. But I love the talk and engagement especially when people like my weird ideas haha, it really becomes an activity in of itself

I'm also growing extremely attached to the doppelganger story and I've been slowly mapping it out and getting different things down but unfortunately now I have so many different ideas that I'm not sure which ones to keep and which ones to put down for use for something else later 😅 but I've been trying to mentally sit down and iron out exact details, and it's been a tricky process. The exact things I've been getting caught on are 1. How long do you know Miguel/the Spider Society before this all goes down, like is it months or years or what, how close and enmeshed are you with this community. 2. How exactly does YouTwo start stealing your life? What methods do they use to frame you for anything, do they set any schemes up to convince other people you're actually them and they're you, do they steal your costume and leave theirs behind forcing you to wear theirs so you can go out and that's when you're cornered, do you actually let them pretend to be you once or twice and accidentally create their addiction. 3. How is Reader finally betrayed and how quickly is YouTwo exposed, are you gone for a while or do they catch the ruse just in time.

It's definitely my favorite idea I've had for him and the Spider Society in general, but it's splitting off into so many different paths at this point lol. Is there a physical fight, are there any chases, does Reader get put in the Go Home Machine, what if it just sent you elsewhere and they don't realize until you're already gone and they have definitive evidence YT is the fake, do they just assume you're dead, what if you have your bracelet off and you're just glitching and in pain and, just glitch into another dimension instead or whatever. Like. The possibilities are endless with this uh, franchise? Company?. We've got characters like Darwin who constantly evolve and others like Gwenpool and, also, it's fanfictiom why not just have fun

Still stuck on "does Miguel/the SS realize just in time and save you" vs "they don't realize until after you're gone and have to get you back" because they're both tasty in different ways. Like I can see you getting thrown into the Go Home Machine amd you're pissed and terrified and not sure what's going to happen to you and, the machine is powering up and everything is all dramatic and, suddenly it just stops and displays NO DIMENSIONAL MATCH or something similar and everyone is immediately nervous because they almost got rid of the Real You and you're understandably furious. Love the idea of just walking up to Miguel and antagonizing him and verbally berating him and the man just lets you because it's kind of like a punishment he's imposing on himself for what how he's hurt you.

You're just slowly clapping at him, being extremely sarcastic and smiling in a way that says you want to kill him "Woooooow, great job Miguel! Did you do it? Do you save the multiverse? Did you defeat the bad guy?" You're just actively sneering in his face and meanwhile he's just slowly processing what could've happened if the machine had just 'sent you back anyways' so to speak and there you are, "hey, what if the machine just ejected me off into the void since there was nothing there to go back to? Would I be out in space right now, in the dark, choking--" and you make wheezing sounds on purpose because you're angry and trying to hurt him meanwhile he's practically cycling through stages of grief while youre antagonizing him rn. You're in the big room with the go home machine and Miguel and YouTwo and a bunch of other witnesses and your innocence has been proven and they're exposes exposed for everything they framed you for and some of the Spiders are like "oh wow sure glad that's all over and everything can go back to normal and you can go back to hanging out with us and doing your classes again right teach? :)" and you're just like "ahaha, the FUCK I will, at this point I don't want any of you guys, I'm gonna go pack my bags 😒"

YouTwo had started luring Miguel into this sort of trap where he was starting to really put some thought and effort into starting an actual relationship with you and in his eyes he's not just losing you, but also the future and fantasy he's been building up in his head (which definitely involves a baby). Man is having his own dramatic ass anime moment where in his head he's visualizing you holding the hand of a small child and walking away into the sunset as he reaches out "no, come back!", like shit man you'll have to pull something reeeeal special to make up for this

I just. I don't know, i like multiple options and I have to choose one of them! Unless I did the youtwo fic and then did other sort of oneshots 🤔 as a writer it is traaaaagic when you have all these ideas and you decide on a single one and wind up pitching the rest, maybe I should just be unashamed and just repost similar shit all the time, or post bonus chapters to the original fic that might be the same fic again but with changes. Idk. But. Either way I really can't decide between 1. Reader having their bracelet removed and they wind up glitching away and everyone thinks you died but you're chilling with a friend (Hobie? Miguel 2? Shit maybe even Miles as that healing little brother energy, like, i hate it i hate it i hate it But I Understand Peter B's "oh shit did you make me realize i want kids" Moment 😩😩😩 also we stan Peter B in this house. We love a man who accidentally cringefails his life and puts it back together better and happier. Should circle back to him later, i can see him in some "you confide in him bc you trust him and he sells you out for your own good" scenarios. You tell him something like idk dark thoughts you've been having about yourself recently and Miguel knows THAT day) 2. You get revealed as "the real one" with the Go Home Machine 3. You glitch away but then eventually glitch back and they're chasing you down to put the bracelet back on

Idk I just have a lot of thoughts and ideas and my WIPs/drafts keep growing and growing 😩

[shit-before-the-shovel]

ok, things are about to get really bad

at first i thought roman would never actually follow up with gerri's firing since logan is dead right? right??

but now i realize that what gerri is saying in this teaser trailer for season 4:

...isn't about roman's items. it's about, as roman put it, “logan being unhappy with how long it took for you to settle with the DOJ” (lol) and “you can go legal if you want but we're gonna stuff your mouth with so much gold--”.

and here's gerri saying, fuck you, i will sue and i will go public (i don't believe she will, i don't even believe she has a choice tbh, she'll get murderdered by the whole company if she does so cos nothing's fair in the world of waystar, is it).

but what's fucking with me the most is, yesterday someone posted about roman feeling guilty about “killing dad” and becoming this closed off robot of a person and i have to agree? we see it in the promo for 4x04:

i don't think he's fucking with her just for the fun of it here. i think he's genuinely thinking that this is what he has to do but he's really awkward about it, because it's not coming from a professional or objective point of view. it's coming from hurt about logan's death and gerri's betrayal for the lack of a better word.

and then gerri's like:

she sees right through him and she knows what this is about and quite tragically she tells him that logan has his paws all over them, even in his death. you cannot win. he'll wash all of you away in a sense. now, do i agree with her? not sure, i guess we'll have to see.

and then we go to gerri completely losing her shit like never before:

these three words are filled with so much meaning in the context of their relationship that i'm getting light headed even thinking about it.

in a way this is the first time their connection is acknowledged openly and seriously. knowing gerri's personality she would never go off on someone like this in a professional setting. now, if this was shiv or even logan saying this, yes, she'd get angry, but she wouldn't be like this with any of them. so her saying we're over is her acknowledging that they were more than colleagues, they were more than mentor/mentee.

now, it's pointless to define their relationship, because as we've seen in kieran and j's interviews, even the actors are confused about it. they try to make sense of it but always come up short. so let's just call it a connection.

so, gerri saying we're over in the promo really tells us that roman just will keep fucking up because he's hurt. and she's gonna have none of it, because she's hurt too. and i don't think they can come back from this.

an interviewer asked j is gerri in a place that she would have chosen for her to end up by the end of the season? does it feel like an ending that’s suitable for the journey that she’s been on? and j answers:

i know the actors can't reveal anything and in a normal world j's answer doesn't mean anything much, but this isn't a normal world, this is war and j replying with “it makes sense” not “yes” makes me absolutely feral. she could've gone with “yes”. but she went with “it makes sense”. those two are completely different things.

anyway,

[candlecoo]

One good man au: what if bakugou looked up to izuku for a good while, like an older brother figure, and then when he was kidnapped and sees Izuku there he feels a sense of betrayal and calls him a villain.

Izukus just like 'bro I just work here, it pays well and the people treat me like a person, yknow?' And bakugou feels a sense of. Guilt. Bc he wasn't very nice to izuku growing up, but izuku didn't seem to care at the time.

When all might arrives, bakugou is already gone but izuku is still working, cleaning the bar. All Might maybe recognises Izuku from a few pictures bakugou has, of a small bakugou and a younger izuku. And he's like 'you... betrayed him?' And izukus like 'not really, I just work here man. It's like, the only place that doesn't treat me like a parasite bc of my quirk status lol'

What if izuku is offered a job at UA after the raid on the bar, maybe the bars closed down and he's like 'dammit I gotta find ANOTHER job :/' but nezu slides in like heeeyyy you have info abt the villains maybe and now you have no job! UA has a position open, wanna be my secretary the pay is Great and you get to rat out the villains? Qnd izuku is hesitant bc it's a hero school and people just are not super great to quirkless people but nezu assures him that any mistreatment will be punished accordingly.

I love the energy of izuku in this au, 'bro I just work here I don't do crimes'

At first Bakugou feels betrayed like this person that he has known since he was born, who in all but blood is family to him works for the villains!

After being called out by Katsuki Izuku has a long conversation with the boy.

Izuku: "Contrary to what you may believe Kacchan, I'm no villain I'm just a bartender. And before you say that I should 'work' somewhere else, I'll tell you I've tried. But nobody wants somebody who's quirkless and if they do it's so they can cut my pay, make me do all the hard labor and treat me like an animal. Here I'm treated like a person, like I matter. That's all I ever wanted."

Bakugou: "You could've gone to someone, told them all this shit, I would've listened, a hero would've!!"

Izuku: "... Heroes won't do anything, last time I trusted a hero they destroyed my dreams and told me to learn my place in the dirt with the other worms. They never would've helped someone like me. And as for you Kacchan last I remember you were going around saying how much of a worthless, useless Deku I was. I may be older than you, but I still here the gossip."

And the funny thing is Bakugou knows he is right, Katsuki has never been nice to Midoriya even when all the older boy wanted to do was help him. And it weighs heavy on him.

All Might also accuses Izuku of betrayal and of being a villain, but Izuku looks him dead in the eye and goes "I'm just the bartender, I've never committed a crime in my life." And All Might just blanks like what??? He turns to the young man and is like "then why didn't you report the kidnapping??" To which Izuku throws back "And lose the only job that will hire, let alone treat a quirkless individual like a person? No thanks. The perfect symbol of a corrupt quirk society would never understand that struggle. We quirkless are treated like victims waiting to happen if we haven't killed ourselves before fifteen, that is."

And that throws the Hero for the loop, since gaining OFA he never thought about the struggles of quirkless people, he didn't know it had gotten that bad.

Nezu finds out about Izuku, and after some research finds out that he was wrongly rejected from UA even though his tests would've gained him a seat in Gen Ed at least!!! So with some negotiation gets Izuku a position on the UA staff as his secretary. As long as Izuku helps where he can during investigations. And he promises the man that he will be paid correctly and treated fairly this time around, or there will be hell to pay for any offenders.

Izuku has major "we live in a society" vibes and I love it.

[reginaaxxwrites]

Soft Spot (Cedric Diggory)

You are Theodore Nott's older sister here. So, that means you are a pure-blood Slytherin.

Also, this is a long story one-shot because I got into it lol. This was like 4.5k words. I tried to make it not too boring.

*****

Cedric Diggory x Fem!Reader

*****

They couldn't believe that the Golden Boy, Cedric Diggory, has a huge crush on a cold-hearted Slytherin girl, who was in his same year.

His friends have wondered if he had gone mental for liking her. Merlin, does she scares everyone without doing anything yet. But Cedric believed that somewhat she has a spot soft. I mean, everyone has it.

This made him more determined to pursue her. To find it all out and to get to know her.

"Mate, you are mental. Did you know that?" Smith looped his arm around his friend. Walking through the corridors near the courtyard, girls would giggle every time Cedric would look at them.

"Leave me alone, Zack." He rolled his eyes. Ignoring his friend's side comments and then he saw the girl he was looking for.

She was sitting near the fountain with her two Slytherin friends. She clearly wasn't listening to them as she was busy practicing a spell with her wand.

"Ah, you know I've been wondering." Smith continued to talk. "How were you supposed to know her if you don't even have the pluck of courage to ask her out? Unless... you are also scared of her, Ced." His friend teased and gave him a nasty look.

It wasn't that because he is scared of her--which he isn't. He didn't know how would he start a conversation with her. Normally, he would've engaged with girls well because he is Cedric Diggory.

But why was it hard to talk to her?

Why wasn't his charms weren't working on her?

He was smitten with her even his friends knew how much he was in love with her. He didn't know when, or how it happened. For all he knows, he just did.

Reader's POV

"Be quiet, Genevieve! Or I'll hex you." I hissed at her. She was being loud that I couldn't focus on practicing non-verbal spells.

"Aren't you getting excited about the upcoming Triwizard Tournament?" Daphne asked me. She was 2 years younger than me, but I get along with her well. That's because she wouldn't stop bothering me. But she was like a little sister to me, so I didn't mind her hanging around with me.

"No. Not really." I answered, feeling uninterested in the subject. Boys in my year--even girls are getting worked up and putting their names in the goblet. But, I was different.

This tournament got me a feeling that something bad is going to happen.

"I heard your little brother was mad after hearing Dumbledore's announcement about the age of sixteen below must not enter the tournament." I was relieved when the headmaster made that announcement. Or else, I could've hex my brother, not to enter.

"Theo's stupid. He wouldn't get chosen, anyway." I replied to Genevieve.

I heard them snort at my response. My brother is in his hormonal stage. He's a pain in the ass, really. Even more when he started to hang around with that little brat, Malfoy.

"You know... I've noticed for a while now. Diggory's been looking at you every time he sees you." Daphne and I turned around to see him looking in our directions. I raised an eyebrow at him, which caught him by surprise then return to what I was doing.

"You're delusional. He was probably looking at the girls in front of us." I eyed the girls, who were giggling too loudly that made me annoyed. Giving the girls an irritated look, they started to get up and leave.

I should've gone to go at the Black Lake instead of sitting here with a bunch of giggling girls. I let out an irritated sigh and tried a non-verbal spell. It worked because Daphne's book immediately flew straight into my lap.

"Hey! I was reading that." I gave her a laugh and hand it back to her. We spent the rest of the afternoon listening to Genevieve's stories until it was time for dinner at the Great Hall.

*****

The bad feeling about this whole tournament was still bugging me. I ignored the feeling and busy myself with studying. As the firstborn child in our family, I was obliged to be the best at everything. Being pure blood and honoring my blood, our blood, so that Theodore would set me as his role model.

I was forced to mature at such a young age. Protective over my brother so that he wouldn't experience our father's pressure of having Nott as our last name. Mother died long after she gave birth to Theo. So, I acted like a mother and sister to him. I decided to carry all of the burdens for my brother's sake.

Even though, he's a git.

"Don't make me hex you, Theo." I glared at my brother who returned my gaze.

"You're not my mother." I saw Malfoy wanted to butt in but I gave him a nasty look that scared him before he could say something.

"Don't think I don't know what you're planning!" I went closer to him and flicked his forehead. He was a few inches taller than me even though he's only 14 years old. He held his forehead in pain, ready to shout at me but stopped because he knows what will happen if he did.

"I'm not answering back because I do not wish to end up in the hospital wing." He turned his back on me and sat quietly beside Malfoy who was just sitting a few inches away from us.

Genevieve let out a snort after watching our argument. I rolled my eyes at her and sat down, waiting for the headmaster to enter the Great Hall.

"Diggory is still looking at you, Y/N." She whispered.

"I didn't need to know, Gen. Leave him be." I knew he was looking at me for a while now. All I can do was glare at him but he always returned it with his idiotic bright smile.

"Do you think he fancies you?" She asked while still looking at Diggory.

"You can have him if you want. Just don't let me hear your high-pitched giggles."

A couple of minutes later, Dumbledore finally entered the Great Hall together with the Headmaster of Durmstrang and Headmistress of Beauxbatons. If I remember, tonight is the night when they will be announcing the ones who will represent each school in the tournament.

Dumbledore started to announce the first two chosen champions as the Goblet of Fire gives its names. When it was time to announce the Hogwarts Champion. I could feel all the students stiff with excitement, waiting for it.

Finally, a piece of parchment paper flew out of the fire and Dumbledore took it. Opening it, he shouted his name.

"Cedric Diggory!" Every Hufflepuff roared with happiness. Genevieve, who sat beside me, cheered for our school's champion. I, on the other hand, clapped formally.

When Diggory shook his hands with Dumbledore, our eyes locked for a couple of seconds before he smiled widely at me and then went inside the chamber where they were told to come after announcing their name.

"I saw that." My friend grinned at me but ignored her, bringing back my attention to the Headmaster.

He was interrupted when another piece of parchment paper flew out once again from the Goblet. A lot of us were surprised. Didn't they say that only three champions were to be chosen for this tournament?

Dumbledore opened the paper once again. I saw the bewildered look on his face. That's when I knew that something was bound to happen.

"Harry Potter!"

*****

After the first task, some people started to cheer for Potter. While most of the Hufflepuffs still hated the fact that Potter even survived the first task.

While the Hufflepuff vs Gryffindor is huge heat around the school, students from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons started to ask someone out for the Yule Ball. Genevieve and Daphne were already been asked out by a couple of guys.

But in the end, Genevieve went with Zacharias Smith from Hufflepuff. While Daphne decided to go with my brother. I couldn't believe a second when Theo asked her in front of me.

"You're the only one left who hasn't got no one to go to the ball." Genevieve sat beside me.

"You're saying that it's like a big deal," I responded without looking at her.

"Of course, it is! Some boys from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons--even girls are trying to ask you but before they could, all you do is scare them off!" She complained.

"Thank you, because that's exactly what I was doing. I'm not going." Genevieve seems like she wanted to protest my decision but it's already been decided.

"Theo! Convince your sister!" Genevieve shouted across the room. Theo looked in our direction, shrugged his shoulders, and continued flirting with Daphne.

I stood up from the sofa, deciding to go for a walk around the Black Lake. Genevieve wanted to come but she knew I didn't need company.

Sitting on a large rock near the Lake as the cold wind touched my skin. I started to read a book that I borrowed from the Library.

A moment later, I heard a noise that made me take my wand that was placed in my pocket and pointed it in the direction where the noise came from.

"Who's there?" A familiar boy came out from the back of the tree.

"Diggory?" I lowered my wand and glared at him.

"Sorry. I didn't know you were here." I raised an eyebrow in his response.

I was ready to leave before anyone can see us and then tell the whole school about my encounter with their beloved Diggory. But he held my wrist. I looked at his eyes and heard him gulp.

"What are you doing? Let go of my wrist." I sounded irritated to get his hand off me. I'm sure I was trying to scare him.

"Sorry." Then he took his hand off. "Do you have time? I wanted to talk."

Without saying a word, I faced him and crossed my arms, waiting for him to say something. It took a while before he realized that I was waiting for him to speak.

"Sorry--"

"Stop apologizing, Diggory. What do you want?" He looks quite nervous.

"Have you got a date on the ball yet?"

"No. I don't plan on going. Is that all?" I answered, quickly.

"You aren't?" I shook my head as an answer. I could see the disappointment on his face.

Even if I go and agreed to come with him, a lot of people will be surprised to see us go together. And I hate having people's attention on me.

And I'm a Nott. I came from a pureblood family. I cannot go with a half-blood. Never. It'll be a sin. Father will be disappointed. And I can't let that happen.

"Why?"

"I don't see there's a reason for me to tell you. Goodbye, Diggory." Without waiting for his reply, I left him.

*****

As expected, Genevieve heard that I rejected Diggory. If you want to know how did she know. It was because of Smith.

"I'm writing to your father!" She shouted. She went to get a quill and a paper.

"Stop. Father wouldn't even bother. And I'm not supposed to be with half-bloods anyway." I levitated the quill and paper from her and placed them somewhere else.

"Who cares who you want to be with?! We're young." She said. "You rejected Diggory, Y/N! You must be mental. Everybody would be down to be asked by him!" She scolded me as if she were my mother and failed to set me up with some guy.

"It's just a ball, Gen. And besides, it's my choice." She took my wrist and dragged me out of the Common Room.

"What the bloody hell are you doing? Let me go or you'll regret it." I hissed at her but she ignored me. I was searching for my wand in my pocket as she spoke again.

"Your brother has your wand. I gave it to him a while ago before I could drag you." I saw her grin. I gave up and followed her willingly.

"I know you don't like me being nosy. But you need to loosen up, Y/N. After all, you're still underage. Have some fun! So, going with Diggory or not, you'll still be attending the ball with me!"

*****

I still reasoned with my friend not to bring me with her to the ball. Thought that I might ruin her date with Smith. But Smith told me that it was fine. I was annoyed at him when he came to fetch Genevieve with me. He was smiling like an idiot and I was assuming that's because she got my friend as his date.

I was wearing a dark emerald green dress robe that my mother used to own. I guess it was the right idea to agree to bring this dress robe with me.

"How do I look?" I held Genevieve's wrist before entering the Great Hall. Smith also stopped his tracks and looked at me.

"If you ask me, you look amazingly hot--but Genevieve's way hotter than you." He held his sides when Genevieve nudge it a while ago. I cast a glare at him and he turned away but still stood in his position beside his date.

"You'll be fine, Y/N. It's not like you haven't attended a ball before." She smiled at me with comfort. She was right, I shouldn't get nervous. This is just like the ball that my father, Theo, and I always attend.

Taking a deep breath, we saw Diggory entering the Hall with Chang. He caught my eyes for a second. He was surprised to see me since I told him during our last encounter that I'm not going. But then he looked away immediately. Smith, his best friend who's with us, surely notice our eye contact a few seconds ago.

He cleared his throat, offering his arm to Genevieve, which she took as her cheeks flushed red. Rolling my eyes at the two of them for making me regret that I even agreed to come with them in the first place.

I let them two go in first as I walk behind them. Some students were looking at me, and as I usually do, I glared at them. They quickly turned their attention to Genevieve and Smith.

The evening went nicely, for Genevieve and my brother. As they were indulging themselves on the dance floor with their dates. As for me, I only sat for almost 2 hours, watching them enjoying the ball. I was getting bored so I decided that after the last song played, I'll go find Genevieve and tell her that I'll be going first.

"You need to loosen up, Y/N. After all, you're still underage. Have some fun!"

It's impossible for me to have fun. It was never my nature. Maybe because I never let myself have fun.

The song was almost finished when I decided to look for Genevieve. The dance floor was crowded so I tried my best to push them away so they could give me some way. I tried to push a tall figure in front of me but held my hands and dragged me somewhere quiet.

"Can we dance?" And then there I saw his charming face. His cheeks were red, probably because of the excitement he was having and it was also cold in here.

"You're ditching your date, Diggory." Pulling away from my wrist from him.

"Nott, can we please dance?" He ignored my response and asked the same question.

One dance wouldn't hurt so I agreed to dance with him. I was expecting him to lead me to the dance floor again to dance. But we just stood in our position. He went closer to me and held my hand, pulling me close as my other hand on his shoulder and his other hand wrapped around my waist. His face was so close that even without knowing it, I looked into his eyes.

His face went closer to my ear. He breathed closer to my neck which gave me shivers. What was he doing? What I was feeling wasn't normal...

"I hope you don't mind dancing here." Even though we were a bit far from the dance floor, the music can still be heard from here. It was less crowded so I nodded as a response and as a thank you.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" We started to dance slowly.

"Not really. I'm not fond of these...things." My face changed when I saw two Gryffindors snogging at my sight. That's just disgusting. Don't they have manners? Kissing in public as if they own the place.

"I see... Well, you look absolutely beautiful, Nott. You're breathtaking." And there he gave me his bright idiotic smile. Something inside of me just wanted to burst. It was cold in here and yet why do I feel it's starting to get warm?

"Stop flirting with me, Diggory. I don't want to see your girlfriend getting angry at me." I rolled my eyes as he let out a soft chuckle.

"I don't have a girlfriend." He said whilst he placed my hand on his other shoulder and his other hand on the other side of my waist. Pulling me closer than ever. I'm starting to get nervous about what would happen next which was unusual because I never get nervous.

"Tell me to stop, Nott. And I'll pull myself away from you. I'll stop these feelings I have for you. Just say something and I'll do it." He whispered into my ear.

He was the first person to tell me that he likes me. Something in me just wants to tell him to stop so I could end this early and go into our separate ways. But there is just something inside of me that tells me not to. To continue because I wanted to know what real love feels like.

To enjoy life like other people my age does. Will he give me a better view of everything?

"I don't know what love feels like..."

My parents were engaged in a loveless marriage as it was forced to tie their families to maintain their bloodline pure. I was expecting--no I am sure that father will also do the same thing for me and my brother.

Deep in my thoughts whilst waiting for him to answer, I suddenly felt his soft lips pressed into my forehead.

"Maybe I could teach you."

*****

Not a week after that night, it was a huge gossip when they discovered that Diggory was seeing me out. Girls felt betrayed by how their beloved Diggory was in love with me. Some say I bewitched him by having him drink something that contains a love potion.

"I swear to merlin's beard. Make your girlfriends shut up or I'll do it myself, Diggory." I hissed at him. He just laughed at me and intertwined his fingers into mine.

"I wouldn't mind you handling them by yourself." He winked at me as we walk through the corridors. His girls didn't dare to glare or say something at me because they know what will happen if they did.

"Sister!" Theo approached us. "Snape was looking for you."

"Why would he look for me?"

"I don't know. He didn't tell me anything else." He shrugged his shoulders and went away.

Diggory looked at me and lift our intertwined hands together as he placed a soft kiss on the back of my hand.

"I'll see you later." He smiled at me. Rolling my eyes, I let go of his hand.

"Hopefully, not," I responded.

"That's a lie." He grinned before looking for his friends.

I went into Snape's office. I greeted him and the next thing I knew everything went black.

I opened my eyes and felt the cold water all over my body. I looked at Diggory who was holding me tightly as we both swam back into the stands where the professors were waiting for us. They immediately wrapped us with a thick cloth. Genevieve went closer to me to check if I was okay.

"Thank Merlin you're alright!" She sighed with relief and went in to hug me.

Another thick cloth wrapped around me and helped me to get up. Their arms wrapped around me, caressing the side of my arm.

"I'm sorry, Nott. I'm really sorry." Diggory's face was filled with guilt but I made sure that it was fine.

"You need to learn how to stop apologizing for something you didn't do, Cedric."

*****

It was finally the third and final task. I was starting to get nervous and worried for Cedric. But he assured me a couple of times that it was fine, that he can handle it. The feeling of something bad will happen in this tournament was still here.

"If you don't come back, I'll find you and kill you myself." I glared at him as he laughs at me.

"I do not know if that's the way you show your emotions or a threat."

"I'm serious, Diggory." I hate to admit that I'm really falling for him. I thought it would be impossible but he did break through my walls. I don't know what he did but he sure taught me how to love.

"A kiss for me for good luck?" He grinned and I ignored his request.

"Keep dreaming, Diggory." I went outside the tent and went to find Genevieve, together with the other Hufflepuffs.

"Looks like you enjoy making out with Diggory." Smith winked at me and raised my middle finger at him.

The four champions went inside the maze. The first one to come out was Fleur, Beauxbatons' champion. Then there's Krum, Durmstrang's champion. This means Potter and Cedric were the only ones left inside.

I was starting to get worried. The bad feeling I couldn't shake off, but Genevieve and Smith kept telling me that everything will be okay. That I should have faith in Cedric. I don't care if he loses or if he wins, what matters to me is that he will come back home safely to his family, and his friends. He will come back home safe to me...

Merlin, he's driving me crazy.

Then the bands started to play loudly. Students and professors started to gather around as the three of us join through the crowd. I heard Fleur scream which made me nervous to death.

Please...

"Voldemort's back... He's back..." Potter cried while he was hugging his body. Cedric's body. Theo and I met our gaze when Potter mentioned You-know-who returned.

You-know-who's back... that means...

"Cedric, he got knocked out. I don't know if he's... I just brought him back with me. I couldn't leave him there." He cried once more. I could feel my throat tighten. I wanted to get closer and check if he was alive but his parents and Madam Pomfrey went first.

I saw her check his pulse and saw the relief on her face.

"He's just unconscious. He needs to get to the Hospital Wing, quickly."

*****

Three days passed and I haven't got the chance to see him. I did not want to see him. With Potter announcing that You-know-who is back, this made me worried so bad. I could see my brother's face, it was emotionless. But I knew he was also worried.

We weren't proud to have our father as a death eater. This also means when we come in age, we will have to bear the mark. I couldn't tell Cedric everything. But I think it's the best way if I end up everything. We weren't supposed to be together in the first place.

I won't forgive myself if something happens to him.

"Madam Pomfrey says he can have visitors." Genevieve sat beside me. We were the only ones left in the Common Room. I didn't answer her and just continued to look at the fireplace. "Whatever's in your mind Y/N, you should stop it."

"It's for the better, Gen," I said without looking at her.

"Then what about you?" I looked at her with tears in my eyes. This was the first she saw me crying because I never cried at anything. I was heartless and cold, and everybody was scared of me. Because that's how I want them to view me. Genevieve wrapped her arms around me and caressed me.

"You spent your whole life obeying his rules. Living your life for him. But what about yourself? Does everything you do, is truly what you want? I saw the look on your face when you started to go out with Diggory. He changed you--no. He made you be yourself. You're you when you're with him. You're free. So, for once, Y/N... Do not let go of the things that gave you hope, freedom, and happiness." I continued to cry as she comforted me with words that gave me realization.

"It's not in our traits as a Slytherin but...be brave." We both let out a soft laugh. Pulling away from her, she wiped my tears.

"Thank you, Gen."

"It's nothing. Now, go visit him. He's been dying to see you. Quite a stubborn if you ask me. He refused to take medicines unless he sees you first."

The next day, I entered the Wing and saw Madam Pomfrey treating another student. She leads me the way to Cedric. And there I saw him, talking to Smith but immediately ignored his friend when he saw me.

"That's my cue to leave." Smith stood up and went close to my direction. "Take it easy on him, Nott." Then he left.

I went to the chair where Smith was sitting earlier. I gave Cedric a soft smile as he took my hand into his.

"Were you crying, love? I'm sorry I made you worry."

"I did not cry. It's just dust... I'm allergic to them." He smiled and rolled his eyes at me.

"You're a bad liar." I still couldn't look at him. I kept my eyes on the ground refusing to meet his gaze. "Y/N. Will you look at me, please?" I didn't listen to him.

I was forced to look at him when he pulled me closer, cupping my face. He was surprised to see me crying. He was panicking so he just pulled me closer to his chest, making me lean on his.

"Tell them that I'm crying and you're dead." I threatened him between my cries. He laughed at me and continued to caress my back, kissing my head as he inhaled, smelling my perfume. I could feel my whole body start to relax in his embrace.

"I finally found your soft side." He muttered.

"And what is it?"

"Me." Then he continued to cuddle me in his hospital bed, his arms wrapped around my waist as I lay comfortably in his chest. Ignoring that Madam Pomfrey might catch us comfortably cuddling each other.

*****

Okay, this was long. Took me 3 days to finish it. I realized how hard it was to come up with a good story. I even looked into the internet and Harry Potter books just to check if I'm writing the scenario correctly.

Also, did you recognize the reference I just wrote, if you still remembered reading it?

But anyway, I still hoped you enjoyed it, guys!

[yanderes-galore]

i dont think you’ve done micheal afton yet.. is he ok to request for? cause if sooooo i’d like to request yandere micheal (any game you want is fine) and a scared & crybaby reader? like reader will full on start crying if they get scared by anything

AGAIN NOT SURE IF HES ALLOWED-

He is allowed, yes! Since it wasn't specified I'll do the scariest one I know, The FNAF 6 fan concept of Michael Afton. The one where he's a literal corpse with a mask on posing to be normal. Made as a concept as it was not specified. The first time I write Michael is corpse Michael LMFAO.

This probably would've gone better with Sister Location Michael, lol 😅 Maybe I'll do two versions. I just wanted to test my version of FNAF 6 Michael.

Yandere! Michael Afton with Emotional! Darling

Concept (FNAF 6)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Possessive behavior, Moral conflict, Implied kidnapping, Walking corpse, Angst (?), Paranormal, Obsessive behavior, Implied stalking, Selfish behavior, Forced affection.

- In FNAF 6 Michael really only has one goal, to put an end to this mess with Henry.

- Yet he also has someone hired for help.

- While Helpy is good help, Michael also wants to have an actual person to help.

- Which happens to be you.

- Interacting with your employer is minimal, as Michael prefers not to speak to you.

- It's already suspicious enough to you that his skin is an odd color and he wears a mask all the time.

- That and the smell of something rotting that refuses to go away no matter how much cologne he douses himself in.

- Powdering his skin to be a more healthy color is also a lot of effort.

- Either way you try not to be too concerned about your employer, but it's hard not to feel a little nervous around him.

- At this stage of his... 'life'... Michael hasn't bothered to think of loving someone.

- He was always so focused on finding his father and gaining money.

- Even now he's essentially a walking corpse desperately trying to hide the fact he's dead.

- Yet somehow, he feels guilt at the fact you have to work here with him.

- Unaware that you're the only natural living one here.

- Surprisingly he feels comforted yet nervous when you point out certain things about him.

- "You're looking kind of skinny, Mr. Afton... Have you been eating?"

- Does a corpse need to eat? Do they even...need to sleep?

- "Mr. Afton, you look so pale- Is that a scar?"

- That ones a long story....

- "Mr. Afton, please take care of yourself...."

- You're too sweet for your own good.

- He just wishes he could've met you when he was still alive and well, that way he could excuse his feelings.

- Just what was he thinking! Dragging someone as vulnerable as you into this hellhole with him....

- Then he proceeds to fall in love with you...!

- You'll be so scared of him if he reveals himself.

- What's the appropriate response to the knowledge a walking corpse likes you?

- Especially since you get scared easily.

- You refuse to salvage bots as you claimed they 'jumped' at you.

- Which, based on Michael's experience, isn't too hard to believe.

- Michael refuses to have you do night shift alone, you're also left with Helpy to do day tasks.

- It was his mistake to hire you.

- Now he's jeopardizing everything, isn't he?

- He feels he knows everything about you while you both work, yet all you know of him is the bear mask and skinny body that always reeks of some unknown scent....

- Michael can't even speak to you normally without struggling or sounding distorted.

- You were always nervous around him but you're terrified once the facade unravels.

- Michael takes nights with you, he knew he shouldn't have brought you.

- The mask he wears is flimsy... not only that but one of those haunted bots proceeds to attack.

- He hears you scream, something forcing him into action to push and shield you away.

- The mask falls....

- Another scream.

- He doesn't care what you think, he just wants you safe.

- Michael needed to protect you because you're so damn precious to him it hurts.

- "GO!"

- Michael hears himself croak before dragging you to a safer part of the establishment.

- You're sobbing, eyes fixated on his face.

- It's the face of a corpse...he knows what you think.

- 'What the hell is my employer!?'

- It would be too much to explain.

- "Get away!"

- He feels hurt by your words but he could care less.

- He refuses to lose you, not now....

- "No..."

- "Afton, please!"

- "It's... Michael-"

- You only continue to thrash.

- At this point he doesn't care what you think, he doesn't care if you hate him....

- He only wants to hold you like this forever....

- Maybe he's truly gone mad now....

- He feels selfish, forcing himself to use you as comfort when you're clearly unwilling.

- Yet he just doesn't care anymore.

- He only wants you for himself now.

- What would Henry think if he knew what he had done?

[en-hale-archives]

i hope no ones asked this before, but how experienced do u think hyung line is? like who’s most likely to be a virgin / have started having sex recently / have had sex pre debut haha cause realistically most ppl that age have had their first time already (my first time was when i was ni-ki’s age which is so weird to think about 🥲🥲) but because of their training period and still being a rookie, it looks like it’d be harder for them to meet a romantic/sexual partner

sorry for the long ask lol but i’m curious about what u might think!!! also side note i love ur blog hehe

on a scale of 1-10, who's experienced is the hyung line..♡‧₊˚

pairing ≕ hyung!enha

warning ≕ 18+/smut. Read @ your own discretion.

author's note ≕ I'm so intrigued with this request. the rule of the scale is that I rate between 1-10 on which members are experienced or not. 10 being extremely experienced and 1 being not even a kiss.

──•°.-ˏˋ ♡ ˊˎ-.°•──

© to en-hale. no translations/reposts etc. (w/out permission)

𐂂 Heeseung ≕ 6.5 - I believe for sure that Heeseung has already had a few of his firsts, like first kiss, make-out, maybe some subtle dry grinding as they do, and potentially a handjob. His first kiss would've been wayyy long ago, years before he even decided to become a trainee. I think in middle school he might've had some fling with a cute girl from science class, and they might've kissed each other in between classes, or while waiting on the bus, you know, the only time middle schoolers could do stuff like that. During his trainee time, it's highly likely that he could've met someone, and they got close, kissed a few times, it might've gone far on one or two occasions, but never anything passed a couple of make-outs and the dry grinding like I mentioned before. Heeseung was for sure the type of trainee that was more focused on becoming an idol than he was on getting into a relationship. Nothing ever went anywhere with the girl, and by the time he became an idol, he was running out of free time to do really anything else outside of Enhypen. Since he is the oldest, I could believe that the company lets him get away with a few more things, like potentially seeing girls or even going on dates with them. If that were to happen, he could take it a step further and get his first handjob, maybe even trying to explore his partner's body by touching and rubbing on them, but I still believe he's a virgin. Again, he's so focused on the group, he's not worried about losing his virginity anytime soon. He'll just go with the flow. When it happens, it happens, but he's not going to stress himself out over it.

𓊿 Jay ≕ 4 - To be crucially honest, I don't see Jay having done much in the sexual department. I'm sure he's thought about it, even almost getting close to it, but never has it gone the way he expected. Like Heeseung, I'm sure Jay has had his first kiss like many do. Jay just always seems to me like the one that has to be in a relationship in order for him to be comfortable with doing stuff with his partner. So his first kiss might've happened in his early years of high school, so they were his first serious relationship, and they got to be his first kiss, and vice versa. They broke up when Jay decided to be a trainee cause he wanted to be all focused on his career. I can see him getting teased by the others that he didn't at least get his first handjob or blowjob, but he's not worried about it. I genuinely see Jay as he is right now having some fling with another k-pop female idol. It's very brand new, they've only been on a few dates, and potentially he's thinking about taking things further. But again, he's super busy with being in Enhypen, he doesn't have time to worry about his sex life. If anything, eventually Jay will lose it, maybe in the next couple of years or so. I can see him getting into a private relationship and keeping things calm until one day it just happens.

ꈊ Jake ≕ 9 - Probably has the most experience out of all of them. There's no doubt in my mind that he hasn't already lost his virginity. He seems like he would've been the cute popular guy in high school that could get anyone he wanted, and because of that, he just has already had sex, maybe even multiple times, with the same person, or even different people. I think way before he was even a trainee, Jake might've not had the best reputation and could've been a huge fuckboy, including just giving off those vibes more than any other member. I can imagine Jake being one of those kids in elementary school that would moan for fun at recess or would talk about sexual things with his friends. Kind of like back then when he couldn't stop laughing after Jungwon accidentally moaned on a vlive. Actually, he would've had the same maturity level as Ni-Ki when he was his age since Ni-Ki was the one who kept moaning out loud to tease Jungwon. Stuff like that is what I imagined Jake to be. Now, I think he has grown a bit more mature cause he's afraid to ruin his reputation since he is an idol, so he's not so much as sexually active as he could've been before. However, Jake has experienced all of it: handjob, blowjob, eating someone out, fucking them, even maybe trying out some funky positions. I can definitely see it. I think the only thing Jake hasn't had is a possible serious relationship which is why he's at a 9.

𖠪 Sunghoon ≕ 7.5 - as much as I write about Sunghoon being this big and bad dominant person, he's probably not had much more experience than Heeseung. For one, Sunghoon has kind of been in the spotlight his entire life, so I think he's already learned how to act in front of the camera, and due to his very stressful and busy job as a figure skater, he probably hasn't had much time outside to be in relationships, but I'm sure he's managed. His first kiss could've been with the person he did his first figure skating duet with, his first girlfriend could've been with the many girls he was in class with. it didn't start to go anywhere until right before he became a trainee, and his girlfriend and they might've taken things pretty far, maybe even almost having sex, but he was too scared and maybe she was too. If anything, Like Heeseung, I can see him having a secret relationship and just now diving into his sex life. Nothing serious like a relationship, but Sunghoon is an adult and has adult needs, just like the rest of the hyungs. So a few girls, so nights out. I don't know how arrangements would work in terms of if the girl would come over to the dorm, which I doubt she would, but he also couldn't go to hers so who knows...? I'm sure they figure it out though.

[rinayeas]

im tired of this sickness called 'i dont know how to art very well but i still want to share my headcanons' so im overcoming it by,,, just sharing my headcanons via writing,,,,,

So yeah the demon brothers are too bishonen for me so here's a kinda monsterf*cker rendition of them. Im also a horror fan so i wanted to make em scary hee hee

Lucifer

At first sight, he has a crown of sorts, made from black glass, protruding from his head, where cherry red blood is always dripping, the wound never closing down

When you get a little closer though, you figure out that the sharp shards of glass have a slight round edge to the ends, it's his halo, he tells you one day, when he fell it broke in pieces and stuck to his head. He could've easily taken it out, but he decided against it, this was who he was now, and he wanted everyone to know. His brothers couldnt look at his face for weeks, too shaken up by the gory display on his head, but they got used to it over the years.

The most human looking out of his brothers, except for the wounds and scars of course. Silently wonders if his curse is to be permanently reminded of the creature he used to be, and the fact that he will never quite look like he belongs in the devildom.

His demon form is something else entirely, gone is the charming gentleman with salt and pepper hair and blood dripping down the side of his face, replaced by something much, much more incomprehensive

Think of a biblically accurate angel mixed w a lovecraftian monster, big and impressive and quite honestly, terrifying

Thought very long and hard abt how to incorporate the peacock aspects in his design but i didnt come up w anything besides his clothes lmaooo

I thought of a lot of renassaince depictions of lucifer, always the most beautiful angel, even as he falls, so i think it makes sense that he's the most human looking and tries to resemble a demon as much as he can, he Is in a position of power after all, he needs all the respect he can get.

Mammon

i KNOW mammon is supposed to be a crow, but his demon form resembles a dragon too much for me to think of him as anything else

Sharp, SHARP teeth, but next to Levi he looks like the nicest dog in the block

His ears are also sharp, almost everything about him is sharp (his nails are also sharp 😰 but he clips them dont worry 😚)

His sclera is yellow and his pupils are slit-like, he never really liked his eyes so he uses his tinted yellow sunglasses to kinda, play it off. Since they're tinted it looks like his sclera is just white hehe

Can't breathe fire but he does blow steam from his mouth, so, uh, careful if you get him too angry or too... excited?

These are just assorted headcanons but mammon has a lot of piercings, especially on his ears (they're pretty long so he has space to spare), i also see him having snake bites below his mouth he just looks really good with those

He has a smaller scar on his right eyebrow from the war, he does like the look though, makes him look 'tough' in his words

His hair is super fluffy though, no one knows how

He fits th dragon fursona (lol) bc dragons are stereotypically associated with gold, and idk i think hes just cool. I would have made him a bird boy but dragon mammon was calling to me

Leviathan

Has a lot of hidden surprises, at first sight he's just an incel with a serpent tail and even that is hidden from plain sight.

As he starts getting more comfortable around you you see him talk more and you notice stuff about his mouth. Namely, his forked tongue, his full set of extremely sharp, shark-like teeth, and, you know, the fact that he has at least fifty something in there

Due to this his mouth is wider and bigger so he's not very fond of smiling for pictures or just laughing in public in general :(

Has fins instead of ears but most of the time theyre covered up by his mullet. Also has gills

Has several scales/markings on his body that glow in the dark, this is based on some deep sea fish that need to have these type of things to survive on the depths! He has some on his forehead and thats another reason he has longer hair lol

Yeah his d*cks glow too im sorry

Cuter headcanon but he likes being in his room with no lights on bc of this, he's his own gamer lights

Also has slit pupils and blinks vertically. Actually thinks this one is cool because he freaks mammon out when he blinks

He can stay very, very still for a moment and then move extremely fast. He usually does this to scare you but also just does it in general

It's worse in the water. He is literally made to be in it, so just pray he never plays marco polo with you.

His tail is out 24/7 but he usually curls it up on his torso or his leg when he's out in public, has a lot of scales leading up to it along his back

His form is pretty high maintenance, his skin gets dry quickly and his tail sheds once a month and he has way more teeth he needs to wash and its not fair-

Spent a century in the sea so when he finally reunited with his brothers and finally saw what he looked like he just kinda freaked out about his appeareance and never got used to it, he feels like a monster.

General headcanon but levi is chubby and you can pry this one out of my cold dead hands

He's a gamer boy (tm) and a literal shut in and also he needs it to survive colder temperatures in water so yeah levi is chubby he told me himself

Satan

The least human looking brother, since he was born from Lucifer's pure hatred, he is the closest thing resembling a demon

He has black ram horns and a segmented, bone like tail out at all times.

His eyes resemble goat eyes and theyre bright green, very noticeable

HAS NO NOSE, he just has that upside down heart thing like a skull. Hes real life sans (jk)

The tips of his fingers are black, mammon teases him and asks him if he enjoyed erasing the board with his fingers lol

When he takes out his shirt, you can see his ribs, and not in a 'skinny' type of way, you can literally see his ribs like his torso is a damn xray, thankfully he becomes more corporeal as you go down so you dont see a lot of organs but its still freaky

Mammon is sharp but satan is boney AND sharp, he's scary ngl

Has satyr legs. Like straight up those goat like mfs with hooves and everything, not gonna lie he pulls them off.

He's scary which is so much more jarring when you realize that he's the more civilized brother next to his siblings

Asmodeus

When you see him the first time you think he's a human. But when you get closer you immediately figure out that something is wrong.

You dont know what it is though, he doesnt have bleeding wounds like Luci, or yellow eyes like Mammon, or shark teeth like Levi, so what's up?

As you start to interact with him more you notice certain things, like the way his whole body seems to tremble when it's getting late, or how he seems like a blur when he moves too quick, or how his height changes nearly everyday

Asmo shapeshifts, it's one of the reasons he's so popular, he's very confident in all of his forms and likes to experiment with them, but his favorite is the one he uses most often, the strawberry blonde with the dreamy eyes. The way he looked back at the heavenly realm

It isnt a perfect form though, none of them are, all of them are too perfect to resemble a human, think of the uncanny valley when you imagine them. Like a living doll or some kind of android, its popular in the devildom but you dont quite get it.

It does however take a lot from him, he NEEDS his beauty sleep at the end of the day, maintaning a form throught the whole day is exhausting

In reality, he's quite literally a shapeless mass. A pink blob that sometimes tries to shape itself into its old form, but never finishes materalizing. He can keep a basic human silhouette in this form but dont expect a lot of details except for his eyes, which are unchangeable.

If you get to see him in this state then consider yourself someone he trusts, not everyone is allowed to see behind all the glam and glitz

Beelzebub

Looks like a rotting corpse, a chunk of his cheek is missing so you can see his teeth and constantly has bugs surrounding him

Normally it's flies but once in a while he finds a maggot somewhere and you almost faint

Has lots of bandages covering his body because his skin is very prone to opening up

It doesn't hurt him or faze him but it heals very slowly and it is annoying, especially when he works out

He doesn't smell as bad as he looks though, it's mostly cosmetic.

His wings are always out, the other brothers have to go on demon form to use them (if they even have them lmao, levi is still salty about that)

One of his eyes is like a fly's eye. Its completely orange and segmented, idk if im explaining myself well but u get it

His hands are sticky, kinda like spiderman, he didnt know how to control them very well at the beggining but now he's a pro. His hand does stick to your hair exactly one (1) time and he feels terrible afterwards

Think of cronenberg's The Fly for his demon form, full body horror

Belphegor

cow boy 🙄

Youre not as taken aback when you meet him because he just looks like a furry, his lil nose, his cow ears, his tail.

Honestly looks more cute than scary but he doesnt need to look scary to be so

Is impossibly strong, so when he chokes you you put up little fight, you're literally helpless

The heavy eyebags, the sickly paleness of his skin, his dilated pupils and bloodshot eyes. No matter how much he sleeps, he still looks on the brink of fainting

Has a lot of memory problems, especially short term, so dont get offended if he forgets something you told him lol

Looks generally unkept but thats more on him than anything lol. He really does appreciate when someone forces him to take care of his appearence so, be on the lookout for that

His changes are more apparent on his demeanor rather than his physique, but no one really knows how much is just his sin taking over and how much are his regret and bitterness talking.

Also no, you cant milk him.

[evoilvx]

At least once a week, Alcina will have to deal with the girls bringing home a stray cat, dog, goat, even a varcoloc one instance.

She loves her girls more than anything, but she absolutely refuses to have any pet short of a fish in her castle

Love this, I've actually thought about this a couple times! I hope I did well, I sort of brain farted towards the end lol. Enjoy!

Alcina cleared her throat, trying her best not to sigh and crumble to the floor.

"Mother, please? Look at it! Isn't it so cute?"

Daniela, ever the excitable youngest daughter, had a very oversized and grumpy looking black cat in her arms. If Alcina looked closer, she could've sworn the cat looked a little familiar.

"Please, Mother. We'll take care of it!" Cassandra was tugging on her mother's dress, a big pout set on her lips.

"Yes! We even have toys for it!" Bela pulled out a tree from behind her back, that was not at all subtly hiding back there. All three of them either had innocent smiles or a pout on their faces.

Alcina looked between her daughters and actually did sigh this time. She hated telling them "no" but she refused to have a little pest running around the castle causing even more mayhem than she already needed. This was the fifth week in a row she's had to tell them to put a creature back outside, tears and all.

"Darling, please put the tree back outside. Do not bring trees inside the castle, how many times have I told you?" Alcina scolded Bela softly, humming comfortingly when her daughter responded with "aww, man".

"Okay, but what about the friend I got for the cat!" Then Bela proceeded to put out a hissing honey badger. How she managed to keep it quiet, much less get a hold of it, was truly a mystery. At this point, Alcina had a vein slightly protruding from her forehead.

"No! No friends! No cats! No friends for cats! Out with that," Alcina pointed at the extremely disinterested feline, "and it's friend!"

"But Motherrrr" Daniela whined, stomping her foot a little. The countess pinched the bridge of her nose, grumbling about why she raised her little flies so spoiled, they were never used to being told "no", ever.

"I told you, my bug. There will be n-" Alcina paused, doing a double take when Bela creeped closer, holding the badger out to her mother.

"Just lo-"

"Out!"

The next week:

This was the worst day of Alcina's life.

And she's lived a long life.

"Absolutely not." In front of her stood her three daughters and a bleating... whatever that was. The pest was making all sorts of honks and squeaks, constantly chewing on something.

"But it's cute!"

"Please, Mother? Then we'll stop asking!"

"It's so helpless, we would keep it safe!"

Here they were again, begging Alcina to keep some random creature inside the castle.

"I can get you all a fish, how about that? You like fishes don't you girls? Remember all the fish books we have in the library?" Alcina clasped her hands together, giving a tensed smile to her daughters. They all looked so cute and it was the hardest thing in the world to deny them, but Alcina couldn't take the risk of something important being chewed up, or even worse, thrown back up.

"But we want this one, Mother!" This time, Cassandra was the one holding the animal, not even minding the way it was nibbling on her clothes and hair.

"How about this, I am going to take a nice bath and you, my darlings, can play with it until I am done. But it must be gone the second I am back." A compromise could work, Alcina wasn't too good at those, too used to just taking what she wanted.

The three of them looked between themselves, several indiscernible looks being shared. Alcina gave her best pleading smile, hoping that she could let her girls have this, and they wouldn't ask again.

Wishful thinking, right?

They nodded to each other then looked up at their mother, giving innocent smiles and a silent agreement. Alcina had a very bad feeling about this.

"Okay, I'll be back. Behave. And for Mother Miranda's sake please, keep an eye on that thing."

Alcina sighed. She couldn't remember a time she had been this lenient toward someone, much less three people. But they were her daughters, and she loved them dearly. Maybe she would get them a fish, or maybe a hamster? No, certainly not a hamster, one of them would eat it and claim it to be an accident.

Gods, Alcina could imagine seeing Daniela with her cheeks puffed and the hamster cage empty. The giantess groaned, trying her best to sink further into her tub as if she were trying to disappear. She let her thoughts run freely, closing her eyes and relaxing.

"Maah"

Alcina's eyes never opened faster, her eyes immediately zoning in on the goat that stared right into her soul across the rim of the tub.

The girls didn't know any better as they dug into the thigh of an unknown animal later that evening.

They wondered where their temporary friend had gone when Alcina finally made it back downstairs, but their mother simply told them it must've run off when they weren't looking.

The next week:

Alcina had been resting in her chambers, peacefully asleep, when she was awoken by licks and panting against her face. While she appreciated her daughters' affection, she thought they were long past their phase of affectionate licking from when they were "younger".

"Girls, it is muc-" Alcina growled the second her eyes opened all the way. Unless her daughters had turned into a dog overnight, then there was something seriously wrong. The mother groaned in exasperation when she realized what was happening.

"This cannot be happening.." She mumbled. Then she peeked an eye to see the canine was sat happily atop her covers. To make matters worse, Alcina moved her hand only to come into contact with something that felt too much like a slobbered chew toy and she dearly hoped it wasn't exactly that.

Alcina nearly lost all her marbles.

"Puppy? Puppy, where are you?" A harsh whisper came from behind the cracked door, making Alcina look up to see Bela creeping into the room. She was hunched over herself and looking around frantically.

"Bela! Did you find it ye-" Then came in two more hunched figures, all of them abruptly pausing when they found their mother sat up and the dog turning its head to joyfully bark in the direction of the daughters.

Alcina stared at her daughters, who were split between glancing at her and the dog, while the pest had turned to look right back at the countess.

"Get. It. Out."

The next week:

It was Friday.

Castle Dimitrescu has not had any recent pest visits. Alcina could almost cry in happiness. Maybe her daughters had finally stopped. Though the thought did make the mother feel a little guilty. Maybe she could talk to the Duke to see if he knew any places to adopt puppies.

As Alcina was just about done filling out paperwork and filing them away, she could hear a muted crash come from outside her door. She got up immediately. Was it a maid? An intruder?

Opening the door, she was greeted with her worst nightmare. She could vaguely remember the beasts her idiot brother spoke to her about, though she didn't give it much thought before the beast turned towards her with its very... very ugly head and roared.

"What the fuck." Was all Alcina could say. She snarled right back, her claws unsheathing the moment she noticed the beast was crouching, ready to pounce.

"Mother! Wait!" The shouts of her daughters made her pause, giving the creature an opening to jump at her.

...Only for it to start licking her hair the second it latched on. A deep frown settled into Alcina's features, her hands and claws furiously waving through the air.

"What is the meaning of this?! What is this- this thing doing in here?!" Her daughters only smiled sheepishly, immediately pulling out their pouts and puppy eyes.

"We found him wandering the forest!" Daniela shrieked a laugh and giggled while clapping her hands.

A growl and a tongue swiping across her face had the countess grabbing the abomination by the back of its neck and wrenching it away.

"You- you get this out of here! It does not belong here! Return this beast to where you found it!" Alcina shook the creature in her grasp before she dropped it. She watched as it scampered to her daughters' sides, tearing up the hall and somehow knocking over a vase, even with a distance so short.

"But-"

"No!"

"Isn't he cu-"

"No! He's not! Now get it out!"

Alcina sighed harshly, rubbing her face with her hands, nearly taking out her own eye in the process. She watched as her little bugs skipped away, giggling and playing around the Varcolac. The mother could already tell what was coming the next week.

The next week:

"Mother! Look what we found-"

"No!"

[kiwimintlime]

A couple months back I wrote a short story for a writing competition. I didn't win obviously, because if I did it would've been all that I talked about on here lol. But I'm okay with that. I'm a little disappointed, but it was a very big competition that got hundreds of entries. The fact that I didn't make it didn't mean my writing was bad. And if I'm completely honest, I don't think what I wrote was really the best it could be. The word count requirement made me compress parts of the story that probably should've been a lot more fleshed out, and though I started working on it early I did leave finishing it up until the last minute, leaving parts that probably could've gone through a few more rounds of polishing/editing.

So, I had the brilliant idea of turning my short story into something more long form. Probably not a full novel, but possibly ≈50 page novella? Depending on just how much I flesh out. But I need help. I'm very good at having story ideas and very bad at actually writing them down. I can be a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my writing and am often so scared of writing something wrong or badly that I don't end up waiting anything at all, not to mention my token adhd procrastination. I need accountability, and I'd like people to bounce my ideas off of and review what I've written. So I guess this is an open casting call? I really had no idea where this was going when I started typing it out. But if there's anyone interesting in reading my stuff and bugging me when I haven't written in a while, hit me up, let me know.

[science-lings]

Whoops I’m late to the party but here’s some tropes.

Positive trope! As a traveler Hyrule has a lot of interesting and funny stories to to tell.

Negative Hyrule is a completely ignorant cave boy with the rough intelligent and personality of a 5 year old.

Positive Sky wrapping his sail cloth around someone.

Positive Warriors going full burrito with the near infinite cape he pretends is a scarf.

Negative Time Twilight and Wild’s bonds are treated like they are the only one’s that really matter with the unspoken implication they are the only REAL family.

Positive item trading! One of my favorite trope if rarely seen tropes. Yes Wild show Four your slate and argue over the definition of science. Spinner race time Twilight and Warriors. Let Sky Wild and Wind compare gliding items. Give Hyrule a hookshot! Rings for everyone!

Negative tossing my own take on the Mipha’s Grace is Fairy Bottle With Extra Steps is that we have had some form of Heal by Death in every game except the first. Hyrule has dolls he can find and Legend and Wind even having non fairy items they can purchase to resurrect with. All of them should be aware of the possibility even if only a few have used it. If anything meeting other people who treat dying casually should far more horrific then the simple existence something they can all potentially do.

Positive saying fuck destiny and finding ways to meet again after having to part at the end of the adventure.

You're not late I'm still collecting for the part 2's

Hyrule being a super experienced traveler is so good, this guy has been wandering since he was like eight and he's got a lot of campfire stories. And while I think it's not outrageous to assume that schooling in this era is a little lacking that doesn't mean that he's dumb in any way at all, he's very clever and he knows how to read thank you very much. Maybe he had some education in Calatia. I mean he was smart enough to leave and survive on his own and save his namesake a few times so like.... not stupid.

Any large piece of fabric that the chain owns can and will be used as a blanket. Scarf, sailcloth, cloak, Wind probably has actual sails that he used to have on the king of red lions that he uses to keep the water off of him bc it's more like a tarp than a blanket. Snuggles are inevitable.

While I am a fan of the wolf bloodline, I do get why depictions of it may undermine the importance of found family. I think it's a very valid criticism to point out that it may sometimes put forward the idea that blood family is more valid than an adopted family which could be unsavory, though I doubt that's ever the intention of the authors/ creators. I think that family is a fascinating topic with all these guys who grew up in vastly different but still quite lonely circumstances.

I love it when aspects like items and spells and stories from the other games are shared between the links and utilized to show how vast and different their experiences are. Aside from hookshots, nearly all of them have those bastards.

I mean, anytime people legitimize game mechanics into plot stuff it can be interpreted in different ways so I don't think that 'all of them come back from the dead' is a bad take lol, I think people fixate on Wild specifically with this kind of thing because it is implied he's already died and gone through the whole resurrection thing but more long term, and if that could've just been fixed with a fairy then the entire 100-year sleep just wouldn't have been needed. So it poses the question of if fairies really can bring a link back from the dead. But now I'm rambling...

I'm completely on the side of 'they all meet up in the afterlife as the timelines are assumed to have converged at some point before botw, and it wouldn't mess up the timelines if they just meet up after a few thousand years of waiting. I like the idea that they're watching and rooting for each other. That they've never been alone and there were always some of their brothers watching over them. (I also like to think that Wild caught a glimpse of them when he was placed in the shrine of resurrection)

[nikethestatue]

Hi! I am(was?) also an Elriel shipper and I recently came across a point that kinda shook the ship a little for me, and I would appreciate if you shared your thoughts on it so I can feel confident about Elriel again lol

Someone said something about how Az was creepy and selfish since he just thought of Elain as more of a s*xual object rather than a love interest. And that he was being obsessive to a fault since he did not regard/plan for her future and wanted to murder Lucien “who has respected her boundaries this entire time”

And then this person also continued that saying that Az protecting Elain is not proof since tamlin was protective too and that turned out poorly.

I really am sorry if this comes across as rude or something, I really don’t mean it like that. I know ship wars in this fandom get really intense, and I honestly just want to hear your thoughts on this. Obviously, SJM would never intend to make Az come across as creepy in that manner, but she probably didn’t intend for Elain to come across as slut-shaming Nesta in ACOSF like that either. (I’m also a little shaky about Elain doing that, tbh)

Sorry this was so long, and I hope you have a wonderful day!! ❤️❤️❤️

Hi,

So there is a great and profound difference between become Gwynriel lore and what actually took place.

Some of the things that you are describing NEVER happened. But they've been repeated so many times by now, people don't even check whether they are right or wrong.

So let's start with the easy ones! The claim that Azriel WANTS or threatened to kill Lucien. Here is the text:

"I think Lucien will never be good enough for her, and she has no interest in him, anyway."

"So you'll what?" Rhys's voice was pure ice. "Seduce her away from him?”

Azriel said nothing. He hadn't gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to.

later on:

“Lucien, as Beron's son, has the right to demand it of you."

"I'll defeat him with little effort." Pure arrogance laced every word, but it was true.

So, at what point does Azriel threaten to kill Lucien? At what point does he even say that he WANTS to kill him? Or even harm him?

He doesn't even speak about Lucien on his behalf. He's observed Elain's lack of interest in Lucien, and now it's been confirmed by her wanting to make out with him. So he states that Lucien isn't good enough for Elain--that's hardly a bodily harm threat. Later on, it is RHYS who brings up the BD. Not Azriel. Azriel doesn't say that he is going to call the BD and fight with Lucien over Elain.

Which ties to the previous statement:

He hadn't gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to.

Oh, how people love, love, love bringing this up as evidence of Azriel's mad lust. But read the sentence again--Rhys throws the suggestion at him--about seducing Elain away. THAT is what he hasn't thought of. Hasn't planned. He hasn't planned to seduce her away from Lucien.

It's not that he doesn't care, it's not that he only wants her for sex--he doesn't technically know how to approach her. Hence, he KEPT AWAY. Lust-filled men who want sex don't stay away from the objects of their affection.

He has.

How is he treating her like a 'sex toy'? Has he been inappropriate? Has he pushed her? Has he demanded anything of her? Has he even touched her--NO?!?!

Text:

It had never gone this far. They'd exchanged looks, the occasional brush of their fingers, but never this. Never blatant, unrestricted touching.

Nothing, absolutely NOTHING in his behavior is inappropriate. So much so, that even though he wants her, fantasizes about her, thinks of her, he still avoids her AND he doesn't attempt to seduce her away from her mate.

Are these the actions actions of a crazed uncontrolled maniac?

He probably could've killed Lucien 100 times, hid the body and no one would've been the wiser. He hasn't. Where does he threaten Lucien? He stated a fact - he can defeat him. He is a 7 siphon Illyrian warrior, who apparently can rip trees from the ground and fly with them on his back. Rhys knows that he can defeat Lucien too, and that's where Rhys's fear stems from.

Yet, even after all that, Azriel still doesn't threaten Lucien.

Also, I just addressed the whole 'he wants to control' Elain and coddles her and I'd like to see evidence of that too?

He says to the IC that he doesnt think that Elain should be exposed to the Trove.

That is ALL HE DOES.

Nothing else. Cassian says exactly the same thing.

Why is Cassian not a controlling freak and why is Azriel?

During the episode at Oorid, just as a reminder--Cassian plunked Nesta down in a huge ass tree, far away from everyone, told her to sit still, not move, not go anywhere, not do anything.

Sounds pretty over-protective of him. Sounds like he is not so keen on exposing Nesta to the dangers of the Trove either.

The difference between Tamlin and Azriel is pretty simple--Tamlin locked a woman who was suffering from severe PTSD which resulted from actually being LOCKED UP in a dungeon for months and didn't think twice about it. Azriel, on the other hand, took a woman who was suffering from severe PTSD to the one place she loved--the garden, and sat with her quietly, allowing her to enjoy it.

Final point: 'doing those other things' is what Elain said to Nesta. Is that slut shaming?

In the same conversation Nesta slut shamed Elain for having sex with Graysen.

Nesta also did the same to Feyre with Isaac.

Also, this whole concept of 'slut shaming' is ridiculous. These women weren't brought up in a culture where women had sex freely and openly. Nesta was a virgin for as long as Elain had known her. Nesta was a virgin longer than Elain! Suddenly you all expect Elain to just be totally 21st century cool with Nesta banging dozens of dudes? Like, come on. It's preposterous. They were expected to marry as virgins and remain with the same man forever. Why apply these completely foreign concepts to people from these books? Elain had to change her whole thinking, everything that she was brought up to be in what, 6 months and just shrug and accept Nesta's self-destructive behavior? How is that even remotely realistic? Elain is adjusting to the world around her, but for her to just become so free and so loose with morals is not going to happen.

I can never tell anyone what is right for them, what to ship and who to like. But I will say is that many things, especially in that POV, have been completely misrepresented and outright lied about. It's annoying, to me at least. This is not complex text that could be so grossly misread that a person who is the very opposite of pushy and inappropriate suddenly becomes that?? All because....

well, we know why.

Thanks!

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.