#how i’ll be sleeping tonight
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#how i’ll be sleeping tonight#torchwood#doctor who#jack harkness#captain jack harkness#mine#ianto jones#janto#torchwood serenity#torchwood audiodramas
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enjoying season 10 immensely
#keralis#impulsesv#xbcrafted#hermitcraft#hc s10#hc10#mcyt#fanart#digital art#art#waveleoart#(how is this my first actual fanart of something that happened in game (not presaved art))#(probs bc of school lol - i’m trying not to procrastinate on film this year like last year by doing fanart but…)#(since my sleep schedule is so royally effed up tonight i will draw)#(it’s 4:23am when i’m writing this so if i get the time i’ll add the id tomorrow.. hopefully)
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i desire him carnally
#definitely gonna need to go to bed early tomorrow with how little sleep i’ll be getting tonight#oopsies!#kinda sad that i won’t be drawing more geto portraits but… alas#i have other more important stuff to work on so 😔#uhhh enjoy these i guess#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanart#jjk art#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jujutsu kaisen art#geto suguru#suguru geto#suguru geto fanart#geto suguru fanart#digital art#my artwork
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I think the only form of nothing is in death, which even then is not nothing to other people, but it is for us, so maybe nothing is a feeling that can’t be felt.
#I should have written a poem about this#but I’m too tired#know this is how all my poems begin#a simple thought in simple language such as this then redesigned for artistic appeal#or at least an attempt to#maybe I’ll write it at one 4am but tonight I will be sleeping
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I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted
I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people
I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;
so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)
#But yeah :)#hopefully I’ll be able to sleep it off tonight but since school is tomorrow might end up still tired and stressed (ᵕ—ᴗ—)#lol I’m trying not to complain or make a stink about it whilst still being informative—#Edit: uh so I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning#But it’s already starting to go to crap unfortunately#Hgnhh I wanna talk but I keep telling myself it’s selfish to talk about how I feel#Idk I’m just messed up man#Feel like crap#eating earlier didn’t help it just made me feel worse#I don’t wanna go shopping or to the outing :(#But my dad said he needs help#And I don’t think I have a choice for the outing#And school tmrw :(#I don’t wanna do this I really font#I think I’m breaking down#Yeah I’m breaking down#<- that’s dramatic I’m sorry#Edit 2: if I trigger myself so badly that I have a really quick and strong breakdown will that make me fine for the rest of the day#Bc omg I have things I need to do! I can’t mope around and be dramatic all day!#I hate this! I don’t want it! Literally any other day would have been doable!#I can’t just ask my dad to stay home from the outing either because then that would entail me explaining why I don’t wanna go and I’d cry-#-in front of him and I don’t wanna cry in front of people#I hate this so much#i wish I could just poof into nonexistence#🌾#<- atp it’s a vent#Edit 3: I’m trying really hard ace but petting my dog isn’t working
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if I end up having to do six months in solitary bc of the “protective housing policy for trans people in dc jail” I think I will just start screaming and screaming and screaming
#personal#I can’t sleep tonight.#haven’t been sentenced yet so like this is very much worst case scenario#but I’m. stressed#trying to start planning for some of the things I’ll need to do to prep for that#like if that is how this goes#also being a wheelchair user in jail. like. and having seizures. and dietary needs#I will manage it will be survivable it will it will but. screaming#6 months is not that bad. I’ve been institutionalized for four months and it’s only two months more
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I’m sorry WHAT THE FUCK
#i’m actually heartbroken#truly#I was so excited for what was to come#and unless they pull a bait and switch for the next few episodes I’m not talking about this show#it was fun as it lasted I guess#the world is going to shit#the biphobia was showing and everything sucks#I don’t even know how I’m gonna sleep tonight#this sucks#also those fans will be so insufferable it’s going to be unbearable#I think I’ll step away from this fandom for the time being#the choices made were bad and I hate it#911#bucktommy#911 abc#tevan
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Honestly i don’t know how have i managed to stay so consistent with posting a weekly chapter, like this is so out of character of me lol
Anyways next chapter we have POV shift again, can’t wait for you guys to read it once is ready!
#save rottmnt#rottmnt fanfiction#rottmnt leo#rottmnt au#rottmnt ao3#rottmnt#save rise of the tmnt#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rise leo#rise donnie#rise tmnt#rise of the turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#man im tired#but happy i got this one done on time#i’ll be sleeping like a rock tonight#ao3 fanfic#ffa fic#sleep deprived af#idk how to tag this#hope you like it
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love being wide awake at 2am on a school night. good news is i’m almost done with tllr chapter 15
#feeling super inspired#like wooow wow#cannot express how inspired and motivated i feel rn#i wrote soo much#i’m having so sooooo many thoughts. i bet you’ll never guess who it’s about#it’s anton yeah#if i start talking i won’t shut up so i should probably sleep. or keep writing actually#i am a creature of the night after all#wyrms says stuff#anton oc#dreams are crazy one day i’ll be like all normal and the next i’ll be thinking so much about anton and vampires and anton being a vampire#and me being his thrall#normal stuff yk. normal people thoughts obviously#hey okay but if i actually was vampire anton’s thrall he would sooo help me sleep tonight#and like anton reminds me soo much of alexander. yes i’ve read ahead okay#i need to stop talking holy shit my brain#my brain has the zoomies tonight after binging that series#brain zoomies. vampire anton can u hypnotize me pls can u enthrall me i need to sleeep
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.
#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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just succinctly wrote my feelings in the tags of a blank post and tumblr fucking deleted it when i tried to post it, i think i will stop trying to vent post on here
#just#fuck#i’m supposed to be asleep#i cant sleep because i know that i’m going to have to figure some heavy stuff out like real soon#how to keep myself and my loved ones safe#too tired to retype it all out#not sleepy. just tired#in my bones#everyone may feel better in the morning but tonight i’m in fucking hell#i cant get drunk or high enough to make it go away#i just want to say that if you voted for this outcome i hope you burn in hell#if you’re right about what god says about me i’ll see you there
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also, fagiolino’s back too i’m the happiest right now
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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Guess which idiot just scalded her arm on steam from a kettle? This idiot
#tw mention of injury#tw mention of scald/burn#this actually really hurts#and now I have cling film around a stinging arm wondering how I’ll sleep tonight at all
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my sister’s trying to finish doctor who before november 25th right and she’s fucking power watching, like she was literally on s10 LAST WEEK and tonight she’s just started s13. she’s been getting up at 6:30 everyday to watch it before school and then stealing the tv from the moment she gets home to the moment she goes to sleep. i haven’t seen her or the sofa in months
#i am enthusiastically encouraging her ofc#she expressed to me today how she doesn’t know what she’s going to do once she’s finished. she doesn’t know how to return to a normal life#where every waking moment isn’t consumed with doctor who#i’ll have to introduce her to the spin-offs and eu content#is 10 too young to watch torchwood? i’ll set her off on sja#actaully she turns 11 the day after the last special airs#she asked my mum if we had plans on the 9th and my mum was like NO you can’t have friends to sleep for ur birthday and we were just no no m#ther ofc that’s not what she’s asking we need that night free for the 60th you fiend#it’s been really convenient for me too bcs i’ve got a nice little recap#sooo lucky for her tho thats she’s timed it just right so she can finish it the day new content comes out#we watched the timeless children tonight and she was all ‘>:( the masters so evil’ while i was kicking my feet and going aww arent they so#cute so in love hehehe la la la#she’s deeply invested in thasmin#i cant wait for her to watch s13 cus damn she’s gonna love the thasmin-ness of it all#really just typed this all out on tumblr bcs i have no dw friends irl :( apart from her#i’ve really got her with dw she’s forcing her friends to watch it and for world book day they’re going as rose and the doctor#they’ve started a role play where they write letters as rose and ten to each other across universes#she made tea stained paper and everything#anyways stopping myself here goodnight 🫡#doctor who#kori shitposts#loubatania
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“Happy July 9th to those who celebrate” also known as “go cry in a corner Samlaena stans”😅😭because I don’t know about y’all but Last Kiss💜gets me🩶every🖤dang time☠️
#The Assassin’s Blade#The Assassin and the Empire#Sam Cortland#Celaena Sardothien#Samlaena#Aelin and Sam#Maasverse#Swifties#Last Kiss#July 9th#Speak Now TV#TOG series#TAB#I just miss him and them and her with him and before#songs that make me think of them cry over him & because it reminds me of fictional characters & asssociating characters with songs is danger#WHY DID IT END LIKE THIS#beloved#fangirl problems#WHY is it never I love you and ALWAYS I hate packing and THEN SHED LOVED SAM MORE THAN ANYONE ugh I blame booktok#I’ll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes and then QOS with her finding & wearing his shirts#all that I know is I don’t know how to be something you miss never thought we’d have a last kiss#Hope it’s nice where you are😭😭😭 and then he says get up Celaena with a smile AGHHHHHHHHHHHH#I need to go read Rowaelin EoS and regain my sanity again#but then it’s like her and Rowan going to the grave with the pebbles#I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep “can I sleep tonight yes#don’t mind me just crying over Sam again like a true Rowaelin Stan because even Aelin cried over it too with Rowan and ugh this series#I blame booktok for the I am Sam Cortland and I am not afraid audio making me think of him worried over her yet relieved she isn’t there#he didn’t even get to die w her just knowing in relief & grief she wasn’t there cause she was safe & she’d be furious but she’d live#she trusted him & he failed but he didn’t fail her & she’d lose him but she’d live & it was f-Arobynn & every piece of it kills me on repeat
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