#how everyone’s like we DO NOT answer to foreman

[silentflashoflightning]

love it when house does that little trick called bailing from work and the office becomes a battle arena

[cosyvelvetorchid]

Bucktommy prompt

Out on a call Buck accidentally says his last name is:

'Kinard. No...wait, BUCK...BUCKLEY!'

and the whole team hears it.

He's super embarrassed because he's only been dating Tommy for a couple of months, and the 118 rib him about it for the rest of the shift.

This one made me laugh so much! Thank you!

You can send any bucktommy, saltommy or Tommy prompts to my ask 🩶

*****

5 months, 14 days and 18 hours. That's how long Evan Buckley had been dating Tommy Kinard. And yes he had counted. It had been both a whirlwind and the calmest relationship he had ever been in. Every day felt like the flirty, giddy honeymoon phase, and simultaneously with the ease of a decade together.

Buck knew he had a tendency to get ahead of himself; to go all in with what he wanted or was passionate about, but Tommy had the, quite frankly magical, ability to pull Buck back down to earth without making him feel like an over excited child. That didn't stop how from secretly imagining a future with Tommy of course.

The 118 arrived on scene of a scaffold collapse to find a construction worker on the ground underneath a large piece of wood.

"Chim, Hen you assess him, I'll speak to the foreman."

"Uh that's me." The portly middle-aged aged man standing above his injured colleague called out. "Colin Denison." He reached out his to shake Bobby's hand.

"Captain Nash." The man then held out his hand to Buck.

"Kinard.. No wait! BUCK! BUCKLEY!"

Bobby, Hen, Chim and Eddie's eyes all shot to Buck, whose face burned with the fire of a thousand sun's. He made a silent prayer for more scaffolding to fall and land directly onto him. Only death could take away this level of embarrassment.

"What did you just say?" Eddie asked with a smirk.

"Nothing" Buck replied quickly.

"Did you just say you're name was-" Chim tried to ask but Buck cut him off.

"Nope." A lie. An obvious, slap in your face, kick you in the crotch lie. He knew it, they knew, God himself knew it. He turned his attention to Bobby and the foreman and tried to ignore the stifled giggles behind him.

"Im just glad the rest of my guys were at lunch. If they have all been up there.." Colin shook his head. "Is Dave gonna be okay?" He fielded the question toward Hen and Chim.

"Couple of lacerations, definitely a broken wrist and he's gonna have some gnarly bruises, but he'll be fine."

"Hey Tomm- sorry Buck.. can you bring the gurney." Hen teased. Buck shot her a glare before walking back to the ambulance, coming back a moment later with the gurney.

"Thanks, Tommy." Chim sang.

"Come on guys." Buck pleaded, wishing another sinkhole would appear and swallow him whole. Or maybe a lightning strike. Hell, being on a capsized cruise ship would be better than being here right now.

"He's stabilised Cap. We just need to get all this crap off of him." Eddie informed him. "You wanna help Tommy?" He added. Buck groaned.

"Hey guys let's keep it professional - we have a job to do."

"THANK YOU Cap." Buck praised narrowing his eyes at everyone. Cap pointed to the large piece of wood covering the man.

"Eddie, Hen, Chimney, you take that side. Kinard you're with me."

"Bobby!"

***

Buck was more grateful than ever for his shift to be done with. Even more so that he was headed straight to Tommy's. He let himself in, kicked off his shoes - stopping to admire how warm it made him feel looking at both his and Tommys shoes sat side by side - and walked into the kitchen where Tommy was busy preparing dinner.

"Hey babe." He was stirring some sauce in pot as Buck walked over and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Good shift?"

"It was fine." Buck answered plainly. He had already humiliated himself enough today.

"Nothing happened?" Tommy asked.

"Nope." Buck said popping the 'P'. Tommy stopped starting and turned to face him.

"Really? Nothing? Nothing at all?" Buck noticed the glint in his eye.

"Who told you?!"

"Who do you think?" Tommy laughed. "I don't think Chims ever texted me that much before. Actually, it was mostly voice notes of him and Hen laughing."

"Oh god." Buck held his head in his hands as embarrassment soared through him. It was bad enough everyone else heard him but now that Tommy knew about it..

Tommy laughed and walked over to him, putting his arms around his waist.

"Hey." He said, wanting Buck to look at him, which he slowly did.

"Look, Evan.. were not near that step quite yet, bu-" Bucks head went down again, and he groaned. "But-" He said louder so Buck would look at him again. "I like that the idea of it doesn't freak you out. It's.. its actually kinda nice."

"Y-Yeah? You don't think I'm an idiot that's going overboard again?"

"Oh I definitely think that," He said with a laugh "but.." He placed soft kisses onto Bucks forehead, cheek, birthmark and finally his lips. "..I happen to love that about you." Buck sighed with relief.

"Although, what if I wanted to be a Buckley?" He asked half teasing.

"Are you kidding? I don't want to be a Buckley, so you're definitely not."

"Oh is that so?" Tommy questioned kissing him on the lips again.

"Yep." Buck smiled kissing him back.

"Noted." Tommy stated. "Now, come taste this sauce." He took Bucks hand and led him to the stove.

[pretending-ican-write]

Cowboy Up - Pt.4

A/n: I think there will be another part after this before the show starts and they will be getting together! I'm currently going through episode by episode and pulling out all the scenes I want to be a part of this. No promises that this won't get abandoned or take forever to write but I do have a mental endgame for it in s5!

Pairing: Ryan (Yellowstone) x Dutton!reader

WC: 871

Previous part - Next part

---

The peace of a still sleeping bunkhouse was disturbed by Rip rushing in and the loud bang of the door against the wall.  

“Lloyd, have you seen y/n?  She didn’t answer the door and the trailer’s locked,” he asked hurriedly scanning the bunkhouse, “Ryan why the fuck are you on the couch?”

Rip looked at the hand under the blankets and connected dots as Lloyd stirred from his own bunk to ask what was going on.  The foreman stormed into the other room to find exactly what he expected, y/n just waking up in Ryan’s bunk.  She rolled over and looked over up at him confused.

Y/n pulled herself up in the bed, “why are you shouting at 4 in the fuckin’ morning Rip?”

In lieu of an answer, he turned back around to where Ryan was waking up and hauled him to his feet to shove against the wall.  Suddenly everyone in the bunkhouse was awake and aware of what was going on.  They all surrounded the pair but nobody was about to get in the middle of whatever was going on, except y/n who was being kept from getting in between them by Jake.

“What the fuck is she doing in your bunk,” he growled.

Y/n shook Jake off her, “the hell Rip!  There’s no heat in the trailer and I was freezing my ass off in the barn so he insisted I come in here.  Stop being such an overprotective asshole!”

“If you even think about laying a finger on her in any capacity I’ll have them,” Rip threatened before releasing him and turned to the rest of them, “that goes for every one of you fuckers.  She’s off limits.”

He didn’t wait for an answer and headed out of the bunkhouse leaving the crew speechless.  Y/n turned to Ryan and checked that he was okay before storming after the foreman.

“What the actual fuck do you think you’re doing Rip!” She yelled at him, “you have no right to do that.”

Rip turned to glare at her, “he’s taking advantage of you.”

“Oh give me a break.  He was being a gentlemen which is more than can be said for most people in there.  I’m not a little girl that needs your protection anymore.  I can make my own decisions and I’m big enough to own my mistakes and Ryan certainly wouldn’t be one.  But I don’t think you need to worry, I’m hardly his first pick,” she finished bitterly.

Y/n went back to the bunkhouse in search of coffee, leaving Rip to wonder what on earth she had meant.

-/-/-

A few years later (like 6 months before the show starts)

After a long day of working the cattle for the spring gather, everyone from the valley was settled around the corral enjoying Gator’s cooking and each other’s company.  Y/n was sat to the side of the crowd having finished her food, just taking in the atmosphere of her favourite day of the year.  Gentle country music filled the air from a speaker Jamie had set up by the grill and some of the hands were showing kids how to rope on the dummy steer.  A smile graced her face as she watched Ryan and one of the newer hands, Colby who had become fast friends with him, helping a young girl swing the lasso above her head.

John watched his daughter from his seat next to Lee and how at peace she seemed with her life back on the ranch.  He picked up his beer and went to join her on the straw bale she’d claimed.  Y/n smiled at her father sat next to her before turning her attention back to the scene in front of her.  They sat in a comfortable silence for a little while, a significant improvement on how they’d been when she returned years ago.

“I think it’s time that we have our annual conversation,” John started, “even if nothing has changed.”

She took her eyes off the wranglers to look at her dad, “everything and nothing has changed dad.  I belong here again.  I finally feel like I’m part of it again.  But Kayce still isn’t here and I don’t see that ever changing.  I love you but you’re a stubborn man and lord knows my brother is too.”

“You set the terms but being back under the roof is where you belong,” he pushed.

Y/n allowed the silence to envelop them again as she thought through what was being put in front of her.  The sun was just beginning to set, casting a golden glow over the valley.  The wranglers had left the kids to the roping in favour of beers by the fence and Ryan winked when they made eye contact.  

“I’ll come back,” she relented, “but you don’t get a say over what I do and when I’m there.  I’m still gonna spend time at the bunkhouse because at the end of the day I’m a wrangler and those are my friends.  It took long enough for them to see me as more than just your daughter and I don’t want them to see me differently again.”

John smiled at her, “I’m just happy you’ll be truly home.”

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#355

“Hey Wilson.  Get over here….  I hear you are a faggot cocksucker.  Are you?...  Don’t bother answering.  I heard from Rebecca that her husband, Deputy Akers, questioned you at the rest stop on the highway.  When she told me that, I was going to talk to my father to get you fired.  We don’t need your kind around here.  I was telling Frank and Burt that I was going to do it, and you know they both told me not to.  Frank said he would quit if I did that.  It seems that you’ve been gobbing their knobs for some time….

“Frank and I go back a long time, to our days in the Corps.  We used to go through whores together, hundreds of them.  When he said you suck better than all of them, I thought no way.  Burt totally agreed.  Frank told me I should give your mouth a try, that your mouth knows how to take care of a big dick.  But unlike the bitches we used back in the days, you can take a good skull fuck.

“That got me thinking.  If my best bud from the Corps and my six-foot six foreman—two of the manliest men I know—can let a faggot swing on their dicks, when they can get any woman they want, you must be that good.  You better be that good. 

“I made sure everyone has left for the day.  It’s just you and me.  If you mention this to anyone, even Frank and Burt, I will personally shove my fist so far into your face that you will have to reach behind your head to pick your nose.  That’s not just a promise, that’s a fucking threat.  Now get on your knees.

“The fuck?... You want another bitch slap?  Then don’t fucking look up at me….  Did you just say, ‘Sorry Sir?’  That’s right you know who’s fucking in charge.  It’s big isn’t it?  It gets thicker at the base.  I know you fags like to know size, that’s eight and a half inches of grade A beef. 

“To the root faggot.  To the fucking root.  Oh fuck.  Oh man.  Damn boy, Burt and Frank were right, you know how to take a cock.  But this isn’t about you bobbin’ my knob.  I’m in control of this fucking blow job.  That’s it, gag on it faggot.  Your throat pussy is sliming up my dick real good…. 

“No, this is no pussy; this is a cunt.  Cunts are meant to be used and tossed aside.  Treat them like shit.  Make them feel that they are nothing.  They are nothing.  You know what?  You are worse than that.  Pull off.  What do you have to say about that, faggot?

“…Jesus fuck.  You want to be treated like a piece of shit?...  Do Frank and Burt treat you like that?...  They do?  And faggot, you were addressing me as ‘Sir’ at the end of each sentence a few moments ago.  I want that to continue. 

“What does Frank do to you to treat you like shit?...  Smacks you around?  Across the face like this?...  Oh yeah.  I like doing that.  Very few bitches know how to take a hand slap and know that it is a man’s right to assert his dominance….  The best part of cunt slapping you is that I don’t have to hold back my strength, and you thank me afterwards.  I’m beginning to get the appeal of you faggot.  What else does Frank do to you?  He probably does your ass….  I knew it….  He also shoves his fist in there?...  How the hell does that work?...  Nevermind.

“What about Burt?  What does he do to you?...  Oh that’s nasty.  You stick your tongue into his ass crack?  Why?...  What the fuck?  What if there’s skid marks?...  You really are disgusting.  You want to eat his ass like that?... And drink his piss?...  Of course you are a piss drinker. 

“In the corps, there were a couple of bitches that Frank and I would fuck before pissing all over them.  Do you drink his piss too?...  What do you mean you drink from ‘all of them’?  How many other guys on my payroll use you?...  Just one?  Who?...

“…No way!  My dad’s best friend Clay Richardson?  The man I have known since I was a boy?  That one?  Wow.  And what does he do to you?...  The entire weekend?...  And when you are not tied up in his basement?...  You are a party whore?  Fuck, I haven’t been to a guy’s night out with a party whore in years, and you do it every weekend?  What do you do there?...  Yup, that’s a party whore’s duty, but you are a faggot.  You probably do a lot more. 

“As disgusting as you are, and you are quite disgusting, my dick is rock hard and leaking.  I can see why Frank and Burt were so protective of you.  You going to Clay’s tonight?...  What time is he expecting you there?...  That’s forty-five minutes from now.  You show up like that?...  OK.  What if you are late?...  He’ll whip you?  Well, my cock stands between you arriving on time and you being whipped. 

“Get that mouth open.  I’m in control of this blowjob.  I don’t care if you gag, puke, or pass out; I’m not going to stop.  Breathe when you can. 

“Fuck yeah.  That face was made to be slammed into my crotch.  Your throat is better than any cunt, bitch, or whore I have been with.  The throat slime is so juicy.  Oh man, I will be using this quite frequently.  It’s not going to be long.  Faggot.  Oh fuck.  I’m going to be fucking brutal to you.  So brutal, that you are going to want to quit.  But I ain’t going to let you quit.  The guys won’t let you quit.  You belong here to be on your faggot knees.  I’m going to enjoy smacking you around.

“I’m getting close.  You ready?  Don’t give a shit if you ain’t.  Here it comes.  Here it comes.  Faggot!  Here it cuuuuuummmmms!  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  Goddamned!... Whew!  I will be using that throat going forward.

“No. No. Don’t pull off.  I need to piss….  Ahhhh!  That feels so good.  So fuckin’ natural.

“Fag, fag, fag.  You really need to get going if you are not going to be late….  What are you doing?  Get back on your fucking knees.  I’m not done with you.  I want to know what it’s like to have a tongue inside my shithole.

“Of course that will make you late for Clay’s party.  In fact, I’m going to take you there directly from here.  And I am going to ensure you are late.  I want to watch him beat you.  I want to see you servicing Frank and Burt.  I’m fucking crashing that party.

Here’s my ass.  I trust you know what to do….  Oh fuck.  Oh Fuck.  Goddamned.  Man alive!  I’m going to set my watch timer.  You have thirty minutes back there.  I expect your tongue to be active all that time.”

[queerheadcanoncentral]

Request from @gfuudb

"House and Wilson: so its like an episode of house execpt its Wilson treating a patient but he suddenly pukes blood and then collapses and then its a lil time skip of like 10 minutes and its House storming in to his office and raises his voice as he tells everyone what happened to Wilson and that their taking the case so he’s frantically having the team (of your choice whether its the original three or the second ones or a mix) give him ideas ect. And it ends in fluff pls"

(It's my first time writing anything like that so I'm sorry if it's a bit rough. Also all the medical information is from only one article to it's probably not medically accurate)

—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—

It was a slow morning for everyone. Especially for Wilson. No face to face meetings with patients, just some prescription renewals and an email consult or two.

Everything was going great, except a slight cough that didn't seem to want to leave him, even House hasn’t bothered him today yet.

As he was looking over an email a strong coughing fit hit him, when it subsided his stomach was turning, he got up to get another mug of water and the room started to spin, he felt the acidic saliva build up in his mouth and the contents of his stomach emptied out of him. Just for a brief second he managed to notice that the liquid on the floor was a copperish red color, before it all went dark.

“You’ll never guess what cuddy is wearing toda- Wilson?” Whether House walked in at the right moment or not is up for debate, because he did probably save his life but oh boy is he not going to let go of the position that he found Wilson in, with his ass up and his face flat on the carpet.

He promptly walked out of Wilson's office and into his own. “Cutner, Taub. Go help Wilson in his office.” If you didn’t know House you’d probably think that he is an asshole for not immediately running to help his beloved friend. But letting someone else, someone more physically able, take care of Wilson while he figures out what’s wrong with him is the best thing he could do right now. “What’s the differential for vomiting blood and loss of consciousness? Go.” “Wait, is this about Wilson? Shouldn’t we help him?” “Yes, that’s why I sent Taub and Cutner there, and we can help him even more if we figure out what’s wrong with him. Symptoms! Go!” “Could be stomach cancer,” said Thirteen. “Or pancreatic.” added Foreman. "Or esophageal.” “Good test him for cancer markers.”

“Hi Thirteen." “Oh, you’re awake. That’s good. Just need to draw some blood.” “What are you testing me for?” There was a moment of silence. The air was thick and Wilson already knew the answer. “You’re looking for cancer. That would be ironic. Spent my entire life fighting it just to end up dying from it.” “It might not be it. We’re just exploring all the possibilities.” “Yeah, yeah, I know how it goes. I’ve done this a million times.” “Has House visited you?” “No he hasn’t. And he probably won't, at least I hope that he doesn’t, because that would mean that he gave up on me.”

There isn’t much that you can do in a situation like this except sit around and pray that it isn’t the worst.

“It’s negative for all cancer markers.” The atmosphere in House’s office is gloom. The lights are off with the exception of his desk lamp. House caught his ball that he was playing with and looked up at Thirteen. “We need to biopsy. Tell Chase to get the OR ready.”

During the operation the whole team was anxiously waiting in their office. Altho they didn’t talk to or interact with Wilson all that much they still cared about him. Whether it’s because of the proximity of having their offices share a wall or because he was their bosses best friend, it doesn’t seem to matter. So when Case finally walked into their office they shot out of the seats and House came in from his, where he was locked for basically the whole day.

“Did any of you check his stomach before you ordered the biopsy?” “No, we just checked his blood for cancer markers.” answered Thirteen. “It wasn’t cancer. It’s just some peptic ulcers.” with that he left.

There was a stunned silence that was broken by- “YOU IDIOTS! You didn’t check his stomach!?” “You just told us to run a blood panel” “I’m not talking about you! I’m talking about those two idiots who don’t know that when you check in a patient with GI issues the first thing you do is look into their stomach!” “We’re so sorr-” Taub didn’t manage to finish his sentence because House was already out the door on his way to Wilson.

When Wilson woke up after his surgery, the first thing he saw was a pair of extremely blue eyes staring right into his soul… but lovingly? “How are you feeling?” “Good. Like I was hit by a bus... so is it cancer?” “No. It’s just an ulcer. They got it fixed right away.” He breathed a sigh of relief. But he had one more question on his mind. “Then why did I pass out?” “Your body was too weak to handle the strain of vomiting. You weren’t eating enough lately because it felt like something was chewing through your stomach, which it was.” “So I just take some pills and I’ll be fine.” “A while of IV nutrition first but after that,” Wilson felt House's hand on his and he intertwined their fingers with a relaxed smile. “,yeah. You’ll be fine.”

Bonus:

After Wilson gets off the IV and can eat regular food, House always makes sure that he eats a few times a day and asks if he has any symptoms to make check that the ulcer isn't coming back.

If they are hanging out at House’s place, he cooks food for him that won’t upset his stomach.

[all-pacas]

DIAGNOSTIC OLYMPICS, SEASON 1, EPISODES 15-END

part one, part two

Hi! I was curious about who on House (besides House) gets the most diagnoses right. Other folks have already run a tally (it's Chase), but I was curious how other factors would influence the tally — whose ideas get run with, who manages treatment, who screws up… So I thought I'd keep score.

1 point for getting the answer. This is almost always going to be House.

.5 points for Valuable Contribution — stuff that isn't the final answer, but either is thought to be the final answer or is valuable to the solving of the case. Stuff like "noticing something on the MRI" doesn't count; things like "figuring out how to treat" does.

-.5 to -1 for Mistakes — stuff that delays or prevents diagnoses, injuring or killing patients, etc.

HEAVY DIAGNOSES: Cushing’s

+1 House: Figures out it’s Cushing’s. Another episode more about Vogler than medicine.

+0 Chase: Is super gross and awful about the patient all episode, complains non-stop, and is in his Peak Rat Era, but he still works his ass off and doesn’t let it show when in the room with the patient. Probably because he's more worried about getting fired, but. Compare to Foreman in the Rabies episode, who dismissed and refused to look at the patient. It's not a high bar.

ROLE MODEL DIAGNOSES: Epstein-Barr

+1 House: everyone is super busy with drama, but House figures out the case in his spare time. COINCIDENCE STRIKES AGAIN: Chase, for the third time, accidentally says the right diagnosis immediately, only to be shot down because it made no sense at the time. This time he points out he got it right, but House is also right that when he said it it was dumb.

BABIES AND BATHWATER DIAGNOSES: Lung cancer

+1 Team: The patient is diagnosed very quickly; the conflict of the episode is much more about keeping both her and her baby alive. Which, uh. -5 Vogler: Crossing from interfering jerk into “actively killing people,” his stunt with the C-section killed the patient. He could have pulled her from the trial without stopping the delivery. Hope the husband sues!

KIDS DIAGNOSES: Pregnancy

+1 House: Realizes the patient is pregnant, and from there it all falls into place. +.5 Chase: Despite House doing his best to punish him all episode, he comes up with a way to scan the patient without a CT. This is also the second time he’s figured out how to do something with “old fashioned” tech — first x-raying the ham worms in the pilot, and now using an ultrasound to scan a brain. Did he go to med school in the 1950s?

LOVE HURTS DIAGNOSES: Infection under jaw

+1 House: Figures it out fairly quickly once he realizes the tic-tacs are a clue. -.5 Chase: Hiding his knowledge of the patient being into S&M was very much a good move when it comes to workplace bullying, but could have led to delays in treatment/diagnosis. Luckily, not five minutes later, the truth is revealed anyway. -5 COOL POINTS: Chase attempting to dom the patient was terrifying. Why do we give him shit for kissing the 9 year old when this is so much more cringe? +1 Annette: Cares about Harvey, does everything she can to help him, doesn't give up trying to help and support him. Nice to see her portrayed as a caring person and not just Sexy Dom Lady.

THREE STORIES DIAGNOSES: N/A. But also, -5 to House's backstory doctors.

HONEYMOON DIAGNOSES: Intermittent porphyria

+1 House: As is usual for season finales, it is not so much about the medicine. Mark Warner is sick, no one has any idea or good guesses, and the fellows mostly exist in the background for House’s development with Stacy.

FINAL S1 TALLY:

HOUSE: 16.5 TEAM: 4 FOREMAN: 1 CHASE: 2.5 CAMERON: 2.5

Foreman's low score surprised me, but he tends to swing from "being really brilliant" to "being very unprofessional." He does well, but also gets demerits for his mistakes. He gets the most focus and character development, and that's only going to continue next season; I'm pretty sure he's going to pull ahead of the pack at some point.

Cameron essentially tying for second surprised me, because I remember her pulling a lot of dramatic stunts (spoilers, she doesn't start S2 strong), but she actually doesn't make a lot of mistakes that pull her score down. Sort of a "slow and steady" approach. She also, so far, is the only one to come up with a diagnoses (Wilson's Disease) on her own (even if House was only a second behind her).

Chase managed to guess the right diagnoses three times. He doesn't get credit, because they were guesses and he didn't seriously try to prove or fight for them, but it is interesting accidental foreshadowing. I do think Foreman was originally intended to be "House's successor," but there really is a decent case to be made, even in S1, that Chase has a shot.

Not much to say about House; his score is always going to be the highest, particularly in episodes more focused on character drama than "solving the mystery."

[delinquentbookworm]

thinking about an episode of House MD set in a DnD universe.

So, the patient comes in with nausea, vomiting and weight loss, and the ER healer figures it's some kind of flu-type illness and gives the patient a Lesser Restoration. It doesn't work, which is weird, because Lesser Restoration should eliminate any disease.

So they call in House, who sends his team to get a patient history. And in the patient history, Cameron finds out that the patient recently pissed off a wizard, and when she mentions that to House, House is like "the wizard obviously cursed him. Do Remove Curse."

(While this is going on, the B plot is Wilson is having an ethical dilemma over whether he should help treat a vampire who kills people. House is on the side of 'we treat everyone, regardless of how many people they kill', whereas Wilson is like 'if I save this person's life am I dooming their future victims?')

Back to Cameron, Chase and Foreman - they're telling the patient they're gonna do Remove Curse, and the patient doesn't want them to, but he won't tell them why. Cameron doesn't want to cast the spell if the patient doesn't want it, but Chase is like "that's probably just the curse talking," and casts it anyway. But oh no! That makes the patient worse, and he goes into death saves. Foreman casts Spare the Dying and stabilises the patient, but he's still unconscious and can't answer any more questions.

House is like "you idiots, why didn't you tell me he didn't want the curse removed?" and sends them to break into the patient's house. They find a bunch of calendars that very clearly mark each full moon, and it turns out that the patient had lycanthropy. Remove Curse removed his lycanthropy, turning him back into a regular human - lowering his hit point maximum and his constitution, making his other condition worse. So maybe the patient was under the effect of Lycanthropy and a wizard's curse? Cameron tries Remove Curse again, and nothing happens. The patient is still unconscious and needs Spare the Dying to be cast on him pretty regularly.

So now obviously the answer is to get the patient re-infected with lycanthropy, because otherwise he's going to be stuck in a loop of unconsciousness -> death saves -> spare the dying -> unconsciousness.

So House asks Foreman to go track down another werewolf to bring in to bite the patient, and that's a whole thing. While that's happening, Cameron is trying to figure out what the wizard did, because it had to be something, right? No one gets into a fight with a wizard and then falls ill a day later and those two things not be related. And she's running a bunch of tests for various poisons or spells and they're all coming up negative.

Foreman brings in a werewolf. When the werewolf sees that the patient isn't conscious and can't actively consent to being bitten, they don't want to go through with it. House bullies them into it by implying that the patient dying would be their fault if they don't.

So the patient wakes up and is a werewolf again, but then the second werewolf gets sick too with all the same symptoms. Whatever it is contagious, but no one else feels sick, so it's passed on by bite only.

Cameron finally tracks down the wizard and brings them in like "you need to dispell whatever you cast" and the wizard is insisting they didn't cast anything. Cameron asks what the fight was even about in the first place, and the wizard tells her that when the patient was in his wolf form, he lost control, broke into the wizard's garden, and ate their pet rabbits. Cameron asks if the pet rabbits had the same symptoms the patient first exhibited, and the wizard confirmed they did. So then they're looking for something contagious that passes from animals to humanoids via the consumption of meat that is neither a disease nor a curse nor poison.

Cut back to House and Wilson, who are still talking about whether Wilson should treat this vampire. And House is saying something like "we treat bad people all the time, just because this one is a parasite doesn't mean -" and stops mid-sentence and sprints to the patient's room (which is now housing both werewolves) and announces that the first patient got sick with intestinal worms after eating the rabbit, which got passed onto the second werewolf when they bit him. Parasites aren't affected by Remove Curse or Lesser Restoration, which is why their earlier efforts didn't do anything. Now they know what it is, they can brew up some potions and heal them both. House makes a few insensitive jokes about them being werewolves and telling them they should go to a vet's next time, and then limps away.

Cut back to Wilson, who has offered up his own blood to the vampire to try and prevent them killing anyone else when they get hungry.

Roll credits. Tune in next week to find out why a druid is stuck in Wild Shape! (Spoiler alert, they're high on cat nip and just don't want to turn back)

[eliotquillon]

Would you write any flirtatious chase-cameron banter? Preferably set at a late night in the hospital after everyone's gone home and they're stuck doing labs, looking after a patient and they're a teensy bit delirious so it's weirdly also very honest and vulnerable.

anon i bet you thought i forgot about this req didn't you. NEVER FEAR. this actually took me a while to figure out what to do with (i love writing banter but flirtatious banter is scary especially for a 'new' fandom) (i still consider myself new to this fandom) but here we go. set vaguely during a non-specific part of fwb era--if pressed i'll say between 3x15 and 3x16, but the details are not relevant lol:

House, of course, leaves PPTH at 5pm on the dot with strict orders to keep running lab stains and PCR tests on their latest patient until they get a positive result. “Not like you three have anything better to do,” he calls over his shoulder, while Foreman rolls his eyes and Chase tries to catch Cameron’s eye. She’s not paying attention–too busy adjusting her glasses tiredly while she peers into a microscope, hair ruffled in a way that reminds him of her rolling out of his bed that morning–and Chase tells himself he’s not disappointed. They’re not together. It’s just sex. It shouldn’t matter that they had half-formed plans to get Indian takeout and play a drinking game while watching old episodes of General Hospital together that was almost definitely going to lead to–

“Alright, I’m out,” Foreman declares at midnight. “This isn’t fair, I wore the beeper last night. One of us needs to be awake for the differential tomorrow.” “Nice excuse,” Chase mutters darkly. “You mind bringing us up some coffee from the cafeteria before you go, Judas?”

“That’d be great,” Cameron adds, all faux-earnest charm, and Foreman actually has the grace to look a little bit guilty at that. He leaves the coffees on the lab benches–definitely not best practice, but nor is making three overworked doctors run labs all night–and leaves with the promise to relieve them at 6am if they come up with no further answers. Chase, of course, doesn’t believe him for a second, but this seems to pacify Cameron; she shoots him a suspiciously sunny smile, and wishes him good night.

As soon as Foreman’s out the door, she says, “And then there were two.” “And then there were two,” Chase echoes, eyeing her warily from where he’s waiting for the centrifuge to recalibrate. “Not quite what I meant when I asked if you wanted to hang out tonight.” That’s usually how they put it, in public–do you want to hang out later? Wanna grab some dinner? It’s really more for Chase’s sanity than Cameron’s; she seems unusually blasé about the whole friends-with-benefits situation, which is fine, honestly, but is it so crazy to just want to keep things to themselves for a while? To not want the hospital gossip mill offering their opinion on what is, objectively, a private decision between two consenting adults? And it’s not like Chase knows how to phrase it any other way. Cameron, if she had her own way, would keep being forthright about it: want to have sex later? Cool. Collected. And it isn’t that Chase has an issue with it, exactly. It’s just as she said it would be, after all. No strings attached. Easy peasy. But there’s just something so clinical about it. It feels strange, especially from Cameron, who he always assumed would be the flowers-and-dinner type.

“We could,” Cameron says now, pushing back her chair and spinning to face him. “If you wanted.” “You don’t mean,” Chase starts, fighting his flush at the thought of Cameron and sex and the fucking pathology lab, and Cameron grins from ear to ear.

“Hang out,” she finishes, simple and guileless. “I guess we’re doing it anyway, right? No harm in taking a quick break to chat.”

“That is not what you meant,” Chase accuses. God, she would probably kill him for thinking it, but there really is something beautiful about Cameron in the lab. Even when she’s exhausted and frustrated there’s a part of her that just lights up when given a microscope and a set of slides, like she’s some overeager freshman biology major donning a lab coat for the first time. It’s lit up right now: in the slightly manic gleam in her eye, in her rolled-up sleeves, in her glasses set half-askew on the edge of her nose. “Anyway, we don’t have time to chat. Unless you’re planning on being trapped in here with me all night.”

“And that would be so terrible,” Cameron hums, dangling her legs invitingly. She’d kill him for thinking this, too, but at this precise moment she seems so…normal. Not normal as in ordinary, quotidian, but normal as in not a woman with dead-husband-levels of hang-ups around relationships; normal as in the kind of woman Chase thinks he knows how to flirt with. It’s an illusion, but it’s almost like he could step right between the open vee of her legs and grin down at her teasingly, and almost like she would let him. 

Not that he wants to. Not that she would let him. It’s just sex. Just convenience. Just…microwave pizza.

“So very terrible,” Chase agrees, turning back to the centrifuge so he doesn’t have to keep looking at her and thinking about it. “Good thing we’re not actually locked in together.” “That could probably be arranged,” Cameron says. He can’t see her anymore, but he imagines her smiling again, polishing her glasses on the edge of her coat and her bangs falling into her eyes, the way she looks at him sometimes when they’re walking out to her car together on the way out of work and their fingers accidentally brush together and Chase can pretend that she’s thinking about holding his hand. He thinks that’d be nice, sometime. Just holding Cameron’s hand–not out of any hidden romance, but just for the sake of it. He knows her hands so well, the cracked-dry knuckles and fingertips from scrubbing them multiple times a day and the faintly oily, lavender-scented sheen of her hand cream that always sticks to her palms, and she always holds his face, his shoulders, his hips, but never his hands. “Get someone to call in a bomb threat.” “Call in our own bomb threat,” Chase raises weakly.

“Pretend I’m holding you hostage.” “Hey, why are you holding me hostage?” Chase demands, glancing at her over his shoulder in an accusatory fashion. “I’m the man!”

“I’m a femme fatale,” Cameron smirks, “and you were the one who said we didn’t have time to chat.”

Their pagers go off then; their patient is coding. By the time she’s stable, House is harassing them via speakerphone about test results and his latest epiphany, and it’s like the hours in the lab never really happened. By the time Foreman slinks back in, arguably in a worse mood after two hours’ sleep than he’d be if he’d never slept in the first place, the silly lab banter has entirely slipped from Chase’s mind while Cameron gnaws frustratedly on her bottom lip, and he isn’t thinking about it at all.

Honestly. He isn’t.

[whenceful]

AU where House is pregnant and everyone hears about it. House/Wilson/Cuddy but no one really knows they're together. All of House's past and current residents keep asking him about it and he gives all of them different explanations:

House to Masters, who had not asked: I’m pregnant

Masters: Congratulations?

House: You were so cute and I wanted one just like you

Masters: You’re having a girl?

House, scoffing: That’s very heteronormative of you! I’m sure a boy would be just as cute and unwaveringly honest and annoying as you are

Masters: …

Chase: Aren’t you like 40?

House: How dare you? That’s ageist. At least your less prettier half doesn’t judge me like this when she’s doing my prenatal appointments

Chase, who was being generous (he was fairly sure House was nearing 50): Cameron is doing your prenatals? Why?

Cameron, when Chase (and Foreman and Kutner and Thirteen and Taub and Adams and pretty much everyone who has ever worked for House) asks why she’s looking after House’s prenatals: House kind of forced me into it. 

Chase: But you’re not a gynaecologist

Cameron: That’s what I told House! He said that I was better than all of them because I used to work for him.

Chase: I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that everyone in gynaecology hates him

Foreman to Cameron: So House is actually pregnant?

Cameron: You think I’d do prenatals for a fake baby?

Foreman: I didn’t think you’d do prenatals for any kind of baby, seeing as you’re not actually an OB-GYN

Cameron: Can I go back to work now?

Foreman: I thought it was some kind of prank on Wilson or Cuddy

Cameron: So did I, but they’re both away on some conference so I’m not even sure if they know

Foreman: This is so weird

Thirteen, who has already deduced the answer: Whose the dad

House: That’s very sexist of you, Thirteen! This is the 21st century! We can do anything! 

Thirteen: Including asexual reproduction

House: I prefer the term parthenogenesis

Thirteen: Like a reptile?

House: That’s the spirit!

Adams, glad that House didn’t ask her to look after his prenatals: I didn’t know you wanted kids

House: You know I didn’t but then Taub made it look so easy 

House: And I’m sure Cuddy will give me maternity leave

Adams: I’m sure you’ll make a great parent

House: I thought i taught you to lie better than that

Taub, to Cameron: House is actually pregnant?

Cameron, tired of being accosted by everyone at PPTH and just trying to do her job: ….Yes?

Taub: And the baby is real?

Cameron: Yes?

Taub: When is House due?

Cameron, who just wants to go home: I can’t discuss my patient with you

Taub: ….

Taub: Since when does House care about doctor-patient confidentiality

Cameron: He may not, but I do, especially when it gets me out of conversations like this

House to Foreman: Rachel wanted a sister

Foreman: I’m sure that Cuddy will be overjoyed to adopt your baby

House: That hurts, you know. Families come in all shapes and sizes

Foreman: So this baby is going to be Cuddy’s daughter’s sister through delusion

House, mockingly: I wonder if delusion is a shape or a size

Kutner, vaguely disappointed that House didn’t ask him to look after his prenatals: My friend is a gynaecologist at Princeton General

House: When you say friend, do you mean a real person? People on the internet lie. Surprisingly a lot more than people in real life

Kutner: I went to med school with him

Kutner: And why surprisingly

House: Ugh, everyone knows that male gynaecologists are just perverts. Someone on the internet told me that

Kutner: Is that why you didn’t ask me to do your prenatals?

House, gravely: You don’t have Cameron’s bedside manner

Wilson, back from his conference: House, why did my assistant just ask me if i fathered your baby?

House: Because there’s a bet going around on the parentage of my baby

Wilson: You’re pregnant

House: No, but I like making money

Wilson: You made up a pregnancy just to win money from a bet about the pregnancy?

House: I also want maternity leave

Wilson: Of course you do

(it takes Wilson a month to realise that House is actually pregnant)

Cuddy: And here I thought you were too old to have a baby

Cuddy: I suppose congratulations are in order

House: For you and me both

Cuddy: What

House: If you adopt this baby

Cuddy: What

House: Foreman thinks that this baby can’t be rachel’s sister because they’re unrelated 

Cuddy, jokingly: Why did I let you hire such a close-minded fellow?

Cuddy: It’s a girl?

House, in mock-disappointment: So heternormative of you

House to Park: I wanted Wilson to spend more time with me

Park: But you live together

House: He works such long hours

Park: At the same hospital as you

House: I miss him

Park: Sure

House: Can’t a guy get pregnant so another guy hangs out with him more often. Platonically, of course

Park: Of course

Cameron: I’m not doing a c-section

House: I would assume that handling a patient’s prenatals means handling their births as well

Cameron: I can get Chase to do it

House: What does he have that you don’t have 

Cameron: A board certification as a surgeon?

House: Any idiot can become a surgeon

Cameron, calling his bluff: If it’s so easy, why don’t you just do it yourself

House: I fully plan on getting all the good drugs

House: It’s why i’m having this baby, you know

Cameron, not backing down: I’ve never done a c-section. Chase has probably done hundreds

House, mockingly: Will you hold my hand at least?

Cameron: I thought that was what Wilson was for

House: I have two hands

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 8 Matsuribayashi pt. 23

I don’t know about the idea of skimming over some of these fragments. They’re all generally important to the overarching narrative, and they’re usually pretty short. Ones like the Ooishi one I guess I could sum up pretty concisely, but I kind of want you to experience it the way that I did. The only difference being I don’t know if I can instill the small feeling of dread that I began to feel midway through the fragments. Dread because of the fact that I was actively enjoying the story as it was being presented by these fragments, and all. But because I was enjoying it, I became paranoid that eventually something would happen to put an end to my enjoyment and drag the chapter down. Would you believe me when I say I do genuinely recommend this series?

The old guy continued

Fun fact, this was actually supposed to be contained entirely within the last part, but I hit the screenshot limit without meaning to, so now The old guy is a split part.

I know that the entire purpose of this fragment is to firmly cement Ooishi’s motivation and grudge against the Sonozaki family. But at the same time it’s just a bit of a skipper.

And that’s how the fragment ends with Ooishi declaring war on anyone who has the last name Sonozaki in his community.

One of the things I didn’t catch for whatever reason upon reading the fragment featuring the manager of the dam constructions death the first, second, or somehow even the third time, was the fact that the manager was the one who instigated the deadly dispute. That he’s the one who flew into a rage, swinging his shovel to attack the construction guys, which led to his demise. Somehow it just didn’t register until I was reading the fragment again for entirely unrelated reasons that it clicked that he was ultimately his own undoing. More to that point, do you suppose the foreman himself was infected with Hinamizawa Syndrome? Or was it the stress of the dam war that led to his fatal fight?

This somewhat recolors Ooishi’s revenge plot, as he is entirely unaware that it was the foreman who led to his own downfall much less the Sonozakis.

The first sacrifice

With this particular fragment we really start delving deeper into some of the larger unanswered mysteries from the series. Answers, are ahead, in this the final chapter of the Answer Arcs.

I wonder why Irie is skeptical of the random chance encounter Takano had with this guy? It hasn’t come up yet in the fragments that he’s suspicious of her research into Hinamizawa Syndrome, so I just wonder why he doubts her. Would it be better for him if she had for whatever reason had the Mountain Dogs or herself stalking this guy on the off-chance he had the terminal levels they need? Does he think Takano and the Mountain Dogs are just cruising around Hinamizawa in their van ready to abduct everyone who might fit the bill? Do you think they use the Okonogi Gardeners van as their kidnapping van?

I might be misremembering, but wasn’t it implied in Onikakushi the other five guys who were compelled into this dismemberment plot dumped their body parts that day? Could you imagine if they decided to do it just a day at a time? What I want to know is what poor bastard had head, or torso disposal duty? That must’ve really sucked for them, at least if I was forced to dispose of a random body part I’d rather get an arm or a leg.

Also, I kind of like the implication that Irie has performed amputations in the past.

The line “I need a medical sacrifice” is such a wonderfully deranged line. Clearly this line of thinking disturbs Irie, but it just really encapsulates his character pretty well I think. He’s done this before, he has willingly dirtied his hands to try to solve the issues with the human brain, but as the passage of time makes people rethink former crazy and harmful individuals he’s having difficulty reconciling with his past. Perhaps it’s a societal thing, the outrage and furor over his previous actions of performing lobotomies without consent instilled him with a feeling of doubt about the correctness of his actions.

I don’t think that Irie’s worries about Takano’s safety are genuine, not fully at least. He might on a subconscious level worry that she might get hurt, but I think he’s really just feeling trepidation over her tests, and the idea that they’re really going to dissect this mans brain while he’s alive.

I love this problematic woman.

I don’t know if manliness is really the problem here. I really do think he’s just being affected by the societal views about the ethics of his research in the past versus the present.

Something that I find odd about all of this is how despite the dam project being shut down in late 1978 to early 1979 is that the ministry of construction kept the foreman on the job. Was he just there to keep an eye on whatever equipment was still on site? Furthermore, why did it take a year for the construction worker to snap and murder him? Was he somehow able to naturally suppress his Hinamizawa Syndrome despite being an L5 terminal patient when he did the deed?

[hazardous-who]

I really enjoy how u portray Kakashi's depression but also how nameless u are with the rest of the clear mental issues he struggles with in To Lose, do u have any specific inspiration with it and do u have any advice for someone who's struggling to describe depression in their own fic without just going "Oh he's depressed"? Love ur fic btw!!!

My inspiration? I'm sorry to say, but it's myself. My beta also suffers with depression, so they're my other end of the tunnel with trying to vocalize feelings since we have vastly different ways to describe and even process things. I'm glad you enjoy my portrayal though, and when it comes to the rest of his 'clear mental issues' as you described, I especially prefer to keep it lacking on naming anything specific so that viewers can make their own connections or theories. Otherwise, I've made it very clear from Kakashi's POV that he has made it a point to not see anyone for help, leaving him and you, the reader, unknown to what's truly going on with him without a proper diagnosis present, though there's something definitely wrong. Speculation is just as fun as a direct answer, if not more in my opinion. When it comes to describing depression, rather than like you said, just saying 'he's depressed' I try to show as much in thought or action. Not everyone has the same reactions, but for me personally, I get drained with the simplest task, even doing things that I love such as talking with others can leave me dropping through the floor. Sometimes it comes in the form of feeling like I'm sick to my stomach or incredible fatigue while other times it's the inability to will myself out of bed- even getting myself to drink a glass of water can be hard. So I'd personally start with describing your character taking what most people may think is a 'simple' action and portraying it with how your character feels with completing the task. Example: One person may see a four step process in making coffee- Fill with water, add grounds, brew, add to cup. Another person can see a twelve step situation- pick up the pot, fill it with water, fill up the coffee maker's tank, put the pot back, find the coffee grounds, get the filters for the pot, put both in, turn it on, wait, get your cup, get any additional thing such as cream, sugar, and a spoon to mix it. So on so forth, you've just extended a process and made it feel so much more exhausting to consider- bam, you just related to someone who probably didn't make coffee this morning because it felt like too much of a hassle. You can do this with a lot of things, such as going into habits such as eating and thus start to portray your character's eating disorders being linked to depression, etc, but doing research about such things is always a good idea. You'll see me do this a lot in Lose/Gain when it comes to describing the hard time Kakashi has with keeping his own space clean or how difficult eating is because -making- the food is too much of a hassle, thus why something as easy as instant mixes or cans of soup hit better with him ( Thanks Kurenai ! ) Another thing is how having some form of reward or 'I'm being watched/expected to do this' system can meanwhile be a kicker to get your character to work, even having another character essentially acting as foreman can help be an easy way to still keep them motivated to do something. Again with Lose/Gain, I do this with Kakashi's job, taking care of Konohaven because it's an obligation for someone other than himself, etc, as well as the expectation of other's such as Guy or Kurenai ( Obito too of course, though his 'motivation' comes with a far different territory and being expunged from this example. ) Hopefully just these explanations of my personal process gives you a little help and some insight on how to tackle any fics ! Thank you for reading, also sorry for the block of text, as I've warned across my blog, I really can't shut up to save my life.

[kilannad]

As the Stars Burn On Chapter 34

Masterlist. Ao3.

The Queen of Stars

Paulie bit down on his cigar, annoyed at everything in general but mostly this meeting. He'd been mayor for less than a week and he already hated every bit of it. He had no time for gambling, his secretary was a pretty redhead that wore too short skirts no matter what he said, and then there was this. Galley-La and everything that went with it.

"They killed Iceburg!" Tilestone roared, the table shaking under his fist. "If we keep working with them-!"

"We can't break off from the World Government!" Tutu shouted back. "If we succeed, they'll blow us to bits!"

The rest of the room--made up of the foreman from all the other docks--started joining in until the only thing Paulie could make out was the general white noise of loud voices. He felt his eyelid twitch. His new secretary slid a cup of tea next to him. Somewhere in the room, someone broke something made of glass. Paulie's restraint broke.

"Enough!" The whole room quieted down in an instant, all eyes turning to him. He hadn't gotten used to that, either. Iceburg had always been the one who made people listen, not Paulie. "Everyone shut up and sit down." They obeyed, most looking like petulant children. "The decision has already been made. We aren't breaking from the World-"

"Ha!"

"Shut it Tutu! We aren't breaking yet. We don't have the protections necessary to protect our people if they decide to put us under siege."

"So what is the plan?"

"This." Paulie pulled out the stack of papers he'd found on Iceburg's desk, letting them flutter to the middle of the table. It didn't take long for everyone to lean forward, most pulling back as soon as they realized what they were looking at.

"Paulie this is..."

"Iceburg's last will." What minor noise there was died. The island was still reeling from losing Iceburg and any discussion of him felt like another dirge. "It's going to take years, but eventually we will do it."

"But how?!" Tilestone demanded. "Forget finishing the blueprints, the resources alone would be impossible to get."

Paulie blew out a stream of smoke, waving his secretary forward. "Everyone, meet Koala. She's the answer to most of your questions."

"Nice to meet all of you," Koala, right hand of the Chief of Staff of the Revolutionary Army, grinned. "Now, who wants some help in telling the Government to fuck off?"

Slowly, one by one, all the foremen raised their hands.

☉

"Hey, Boss! Looks like your brat did it again!"

"Eh?!" Shanks struggled up from his sprawled position across the deck, head pounding and sending his vision spinning. His hangover made itself known loudly and insistently, making it tripply hard to focus on the papers Lucky Roo was waving in his face.

"Stop torturing the man and just read it," Benn ordered, blowing out a breath, smoke lazily swirling up."

"Forget the boss," Yasopp called from the crowsnest. "I want to hear."

"Oh, you definitely want to hear," Roo laughed. "The Straw Hats invaded Enies Lobby."

"No fucking way!" Rockestar blurted. "The rookie crew?"

"That ain't any normal crew," Bonk pointed out. "Straw Hat is Boss's protogee."

"Enies Lobby?" Shanks mumbled, confused for a second. Then it clicked. "Enies Lobby?! Damnit Anchor, the hell you playing at?"

Yasopp laughed. "I don't think he's playing anymore, Boss."

"What are you laughing at, Yasopp?" Roo taunted. He held up one bounty from the pile in his hand. "Your boy is a wanted man now."

"What?!" Yasopp went falling out of the crowsnest, landing in a tumble of limbs. "Let me see!" He ripped the paper away, staring at the picture of his little boy, now all grown up, standing on top of a tower. He had a cap on and goggles, a full body sized slingshot held in his hands as he aimed at something. "Sniper King," he breathed. "My boy is a pirate."

Shanks burst out laughing, launching himself to his feet. "Well you know what this means. Men, get the booze! Time to celebrate."

"Weren't you just hungover," Benn complained, but he knew it was for nothing. If the boss wanted to celebrate, then they'd celebrate.

The next generation was growing up. And they were coming for the old era.

☉

Kaku stumbled to the tree, sliding down at its trunk. Kalifa, panting, didn't even bother going that far. In the wake of Enies Lobby, Blueno had pulled CP9 out of the rubble and into his Devil Fruit, saving their lives. It meant nothing though, when they were soon being hunted. By the first island they found, they had CP0 on their asses, to say nothing of the various other factions that wanted them dead. Kaku and Kalifa had gotten split from the rest of the group, forced to hop from island to island with no backup and slowly closing in enemies on all sides.

"Well," he said, trying to sound upbeat. "It could be worse. We could still be taking orders from Spandam."

"At least Nico killed him before she took off," Kalifa acknowledged. She grunted, hands shaking as she leveraged herself up. They hadn't been able to get any serious medical attention yet, and the skin around her shoulder was still badly charred from her fight with the Stormbringer. They were lucky they had enough training to have saved the arm in the first place.

They needed to move. Last they saw, they had one bastard in white tracking their every movement, closing in slowly, driving them to exhaustion. It was a classic tactic, and one Kaku knew would get them in the end. Worse was the unknown; he'd spotted at least three other forms in the trees, following along. Whether they were CP0 or some other faction didn't matter; Kaku and Kalifa couldn't kill a rookie pirate, much less any trained specialists as they were right now. 

The leaves rustled, and Kaku knew their time had run out. Probably for the best, he decided; what was the point of a weapon without anyone to wield it?

He barely caught sight of the flash of white, eyes going to Kalifa instead of his executioner. He wished he had enough strength to buy her time, if nothing else. She'd saved his life so many times, he should be able to repay her at least once.

As it turned out, Kaku didn't need to.

Blue collided with white, two bodies freezing each other mere inches from Kaku's still form. One of them was clearly CP0, with the white cloak and mask that entailed. The other wore a blue suit, with white cravat, black coated pipe held in an easy block. Kaku recognized him from his outfit from his bounty poster, his face never having been captured on film before.

"Please don't," 'Bloody Gentleman' Sabo, Chief of Staff for the Revolutionary Army, asked politely. "That's my new informant you're about to kill."

☉

Lucy stretched out on a lawn chair, taking in the bright sun. Gajeel pressed a kiss against her lips as he passed on his way to help Usopp and Franky with whatever their newest experiment was. Laxus was answering a series of questions from Chopper about which pills had worked best and why; Nami and Robin were laughing over drinks that Sanji served, Lily and Zoro sparring with Luffy cheering them on. The whole crew, once again together. They'd partied, of course, after leaving Water 7. They had a new ship and crewmate to celebrate, and who would they be to deny themselves the reward?

They'd spent three days sailing already, Nami leading them on towards the next stop guided by the logpose. Robin had met Hóu, her gentle smile never budging as she'd entertained his babbling about how much he'd enjoyed being carried by her, marking down each Ponin rune as he proudly showed them to her. Robin had started puzzling out what connections she could make with the three Keys they had access to in the evenings, settling into the library with her notebook and a cup of coffee. Lucy left her to it, knowing as she did now how sacred Robin held her duty as the last Oharan.

For herself, she'd gotten used to sharing a room with Laxus and Gajeel. After a conversation with Chopper--in which she'd done far more blushing and stuttering than the rather clinical reindeer when it came to matters of sex--she'd gotten the all clear for birth-control. Mostly, the three of them had started bickering over clothes space, generally because Gajeel tended to throw his things around and it drove Lucy nuts, to say nothing of how Laxus shoved things in drawers and in the closet with no sense of organization. Slowly but surely, they were figuring out compromises and she had been glad, if a little embarrassed, to get the explanation for how dragon hoard dynamics worked. Though Gajeel still had yet to explain why he or Laxus breaking her skin would be such an issue--she couldn't tell if it was a dragon thing, or a hurting her thing. Either way, she opted not to push. Yet.

Wheeling through the air, she caught sight of a Newscoo, significantly later than they usually came. They must be heading towards one of those stretches of sea that the delivery service struggled to reach. Paying the beries, she tugged out the paper, sending a pile of bounty posters flying. Examining them, it didn't take her long to figure out the cause.

It seemed as if the Straw Hats storming Enies Lobby had hurt a few egos, because every single one of the up-and-coming pirate captains from their era had gone wild, earning huge bumps to their bounties. As of now, excluding the five supernovas the Straw Hats boasted (did she even count?), there were nine others, making a record breaking fourteen. While Eustass 'Captain' Kid and 'Surgeon of Death' Trafalgar Law had both broken the hundred million mark some time ago, as well as 'Magician' Basil Hawkins, they were now joined by 'Big Eater' Jewelry Bonney, Capone 'Gang' Bege, 'Red Flag' X Drake, 'Mad Monk' Urouge, and 'Roar of the Sea' Apoo. The Kid Pirates were the only ones with a second supernova; 'Massacre Man' Killer, their first mate, had just barely hit the mark. Lucy could only imagine the headaches they were all causing for the marines. One or two supernovas was fairly standard; fourteen must feel like war drums to the upper echelons.

She scanned the articles describing their exploits, making notes on the various powers mentioned. She paused when something unrelated caught her eye; sixteen ships had disappeared from the Florian Triangle that year, none of which had been recovered. Pursing her lips, Lucy did the mental geography--she wasn't Nami, but the likelihood of them hitting that stretch of sea on their current route was higher than she'd like. For all that they were strong, she'd really prefer to avoid cursed seas. A pity that if Luffy heard about it, he'd likely demand they sail straight in for some crazy reason, likely trying to get a skeleton as a crewmate.

A problem for another time, she decided as one of her Keys glowed softly. Shé had been spending more time out, trying to sort through the various information they'd stolen from Enies, to say nothing of the fact that Gemini had copied Spandam and they had that mess of a brain to go through. Besides, after his first day, Franky had handed over the best birthday present she had ever gotten; numbers to the den den mushi version of the blackmarket.

While in Earthland there were a few hot spots for underworld dealings, in Terra things were conducted differently. Namely, the lack of centralized power meant the various dealers and brokers operated over den den, hidden behind a series of codes and unknown numbers. While there were the five emperors of the underworld, they had so many smaller players underneath them that you couldn't really touch them and only after listening for a few days did Lucy have even clues to who they were. Franky only had a few numbers and codes, the entry level stuff he'd used in his days on Water 7 but that was all she needed. Shé's ability to hack into den den numbers involved riding on the telepathic signals they sent, which meant he could hop from one to another, so long as they were connected at the same moment he was. Using Archive magic, it wasn't hard from there to run a series of tests and crack the codes, essentially giving Lucy full access. Well, access to the general things. The really private communications, the stuff that went deep, was still out of her reach. Unless someone called a line they already had which connected to someone higher up, they were locked in at their current level; it was still far more than she'd had before though.

Of all the things she'd been picking apart with Shé's help, one was most interesting. The slaving crews were disgusting and the weapon dealing awful, to say nothing of the mercenary groups that were worse than some dark guilds back home--those were generally what she expected, even if they were the scum of humanity. What she found interesting was the chatter about the Yonko.

They were a constant topic, from Kaido's newest warmongering campaign to Big Mom's latest tea party and arranged wedding. What really caught her though was the word on Whitebeard. For a man that, she had heard at large, was single-handedly responsible for setting the gold standard of piracy since Roger, there was a shocking amount of shit talking going on. As Ace had told Luffy, Marshall D. Teach had betrayed Whitebeard and killed Fourth Division Commander Thatch, marking the first historic betrayal on one of the largest crews on the oceans. In the aftermath, it was initially assumed that Ace had been sent as vengeance, but 'whisper on the waves' as she learned was used, was that he actually mutinied and defied orders to head out. It was a hard black mark against Whitebeard, to know one of his commanders mutinied in order to avenge another. For someone who claimed to love his 'sons' so much, he seemed not to be interested in defending them.

There was a heavy push among various underworld players, saying that this was the time to go after him. Someone named Kozuki Oden was brought up several times, though Lucy couldn't quite figure out the context besides knowing he'd once been involved with Whitebeard to some extent. The short of it was this though; Whitebeard was unwilling to defend his children, likely because of his growing illness, making his territories free real estate. Lucy didn't know if that was true, of course, but she could tell by the way people were talking that his refusal to act was going to mean bad things for a lot of people.

Shé, displaying a new, morbid side, was near obsessed with seeing how it played out. Something about the power struggle and politics of it all--if that word could be applied to pirates and criminals--seemed to fascinate him. Lucy didn't mind summoning him daily to let him puzzle over it; it helped the crew, and made him happy, so who was she to stop it?

☉

Capone 'Gang' Bege considered the image in front of him. While he hadn't known her name, the tall, dark haired woman with stunning blue eyes was familiar enough to him. He'd once traded safe passage from deep in the West Blue all the way out to Reverse Mountain for her help in assassinating an enemy. A professional woman, even at sixteen, she'd finished the job in stellar time. He'd forgotten the fake name she'd used back then, though she had always stood out in his mind as the one who got away. He'd often regretted not recruiting her, though it seemed now he'd dodged a bullet.

The Straw Hats were truly bat shit crazy to storm Enies Lobby. He didn't know why they thought Nico Robin was worth it--for all her talents, he would've handed her over himself if it'd come down to it.

☉

Urouge grinned through the blood dripping down his face, spitting a wad to the ground below him. His crew was scattered around, and while he prayed for their salvation, he didn't expect it. Above him, the legend before him threw back his head.

"Shihahahaha! What a stubborn soul you are. Why don't you join me boy?"

"I have my own goals I aspire to," Urouge told him peacefully, struggling back up. "Or else I might. I admire your strength."

"Oh? Let me tell you something; there is nothing more precious to me than my crew, so for everyone who joins, I grant one wish. Anything at all, and I'll make it happen."

"Is that so?" Briefly, Urouge considered the sins of temptation, but in the end he'd already chosen his path weeks ago, when a certain man from his homeland had fallen from the sky. Once, he'd set out from home for revenge against the one who had wronged him so thoroughly--with that now taken, his target had changed. "If that is the case...I want Monkey D. Luffy."

"The brat from the East Blue? I'll be more than glad to deliver. Shihahahaha!"

☉

Trafalgar (D. Water) Law settled in his office, coffee at his elbow and papers spread in front of him. Bepo was on watch, the cold press of the ocean all around the Polar Tang. Sometimes it was hard to mark where day ended and night began when they traveled beneath the waves for too long, but his crew had settled into it well. He didn't bother trying to sleep though--not alone. The memories always haunted him then.

The paper crinkled under his fingers, the grinning face looking dumber and more naive every time he saw it. He couldn't imagine how someone like that could have a higher bounty than him. Well, actually, it made a roundabout sort of sense. Only someone completely moronic would storm Enies and live to tell.

Despite himself, Law couldn't help but contemplate the words Cora had said to him so long ago.

"Monkey D., eh? Storm indeed."

☉

Robin stared hard at Lucy's bounty poster, then the notes in front of her, then back. Caught unaware, but trying not to disturb her, Lucy inched her way into the library. They'd tapped up all of their bounty posters in the galley and she'd noticed hers having disappeared. Why Robin had taken it, she couldn't fathom, but it'd been sixteen hours since anyone had set eyes on the archeologist, and Lucy had started getting worried.

"I don't get it," she muttered, tracing her fingers over the Ponin runes she'd marked down. "It's too much of a coincidence."

Unable to help herself, Lucy asked, "What is?"

Robin's head snapped up, eyes narrowing on her with laser focus. "What does star queen mean?"

"What?"

"Star queen. It's a title, or name possibly. I thought the marker for queen was referencing the queen of the ancient kingdom, but Hóu's markings seem to suggest otherwise."

"I don't suppose you have any context," Lucy complained, already knowing the answer before Robin shook her head. Chewing her lip, Lucy contemplated what she did know. An ancestor of hers had cast a secrecy spell, hiding some part of the Void Century on twelve Spirits and leaving them scattered alongside Poneglyphs for future generations to find. Robin had said the scholars of Ohara had hypothesized that the ancient kingdom knew the World Government would win and try to destroy any knowledge of them, leaving behind the Poneglyphs as insurance that their legacy would live on. The problem was that it narrowed nothing down. There'd been a Heartfilia as long as there had been Spirits-

Oh. Oh. Lucy had thought she'd imagined that final whisper, that lingering melancholy, but maybe not.

I wish you did not have to suffer for my deeds.

Her deeds. A Celestial Spirit tasked with welcoming new brethren to the stars. The mark on Lucy's back. Layla's story about the Black Key. Not star queen, Lucy realized. Not a title, or maybe yes, that too, but more than that.

"Cassiopiea," Lucy whispered.

"What?"

"The one constellation in Earthland with no Key. She should be Silver, but she's not. Everyone thinks that all her Keys were lost, but that's not it. She's like me." Lucy was dizzy suddenly, pieces falling into place. Dismembered arms helped her into a seat. "Or I'm like her, rather."

"Can you explain?" Robin murmured, pushing a warm cup into her hand.

Lucy sipped the coffee, the bitter taste spreading across her tongue. "'Queen of the stars'. That's what Cassiopiea means. Mom always thought it meant something, that there was a star queen the way there was a celestial king. It's because of this."

"Lucy," Robin soothed. "You aren't making much sense."

She struggled to put her thoughts in order so Robin could make sense of them. "The price," she started slowly, picking her words carefully. "For the magic I did, for making Merry a Spirit, is to join them, one day." Robin went very still; Lucy hadn't told anyone but Laxus and Gajeel what it really meant for her to raise Merry to the stars. As far as they were concerned, this was just Lucy unlocking an aspect of her magic. She'd like to keep it that way, if she could. She wasn't ready yet, to examine her future beyond death.

"The mark on your back," Robin concluded, quick as ever. "It's what your Key will look like."

"That's my guess. There's a legend, about a secret thirteenth Gold Zodiac, but they say their Key is black. I think...I think when you raise someone to the stars, when you sell yourself to the Celestial Realm this way, your Key is Black. You're part of the Spirits, but also separate from them, different."

Those sharp, clever eyes dropped down to her book, putting the clues together. "You think your ancestor, Cassiopeia Heartfilia...you think she raised someone to the Celestial Realm and became a Black Key. That's why no one has ever summoned her."

"Yeah. And I think before she died, she had something to do with the ancient kingdom."

☉

Lucy took a shower and turned in early, curling up in her massive bed. She knew Laxus and Gajeel were up gossiping--though gods forbid anyone call it that--with Franky and Zoro and she didn't particularly feel like hunting them down just to ruin their good moods. She wasn't even sure what her mood was anymore. Lucy had known, the moment she'd woken up after saving Merry, what the price would be. She'd known it the moment Cassiopiea had told her Lucy would be theirs. By no means was she dumb and she had been willing to pay the price. Still was, of course. In no world would she ever regret saving Merry. She just...it was so much more real, suddenly. There were at least two Black Keys out there and if her theory was right then they'd both been Celestial Mages at one point who'd appointed people to the stars. It was her future, to stand among them. Immortal as all those she cared about died and disappeared.

Did this mean all the Spirits had once been living things? Animals or people or even just the soul of a loved object?

The door creaked open, Laxus not bothering to turn on the lights as he kicked off his shoes and pulled his clothes off, curling up against her. He pressed a kiss to her head, then, when she twisted towards him, another gentle one on her lips. She melted despite herself, relaxing into his grip. Gajeel was taking first watch with Lily, she knew, so she wasn't surprised that he hadn't come back.

"Robin said you might be upset," he murmured. "What happened?"

She chewed on her lip, trying to find a way to say it without sounding nuts. Twisting the thoughts in her head to something sensical felt herculean, but in the end she settled on, "Back home, with Markarov, did you ever feel like your whole life had been laid out just because of something he did?"

"All the time," he answered without hesitation. "Distance has made me realize that expectations don't equal reality. Just because he was a powerful Fairy Tail mage didn't mean I would be. I worked for that shit, even if everyone thought it was just because of my blood."

She liked that thought. That just because something was expected to happen didn't lessen the value of her own choices, her own work. She pressed a kiss against his shoulder, murmuring, "My ancestors name was Cassiopeia and I think...I think she left the Keys behind as clues. I'm not sure what for, but she's trying to lead me somewhere."

"Where?"

"I don't know. But I think she wants me to fix her mistakes."

"Sounds like a shitty ancestor."

She laughed despite herself, which was no doubt his goal. "You've been spending too much time with Sanji."

"Tell that to Usopp. Did you notice that he's been spending every night telling Sanji dumb stories while he cooks?"

"Yeah. Are they...?"

"Not according to my nose," Laxus said. "But who the fuck knows where that's going."

The thought of Usopp and Sanji together made her giggle. It was such a strange pairing that she couldn't help it. "Have you noticed that our life has turned into daytime lacrimavision?"

"Don't even start. We're complicated enough without adding some dumb b-plots in."

"Dear Laxus," she started with a dramatic gasp. "I didn't know you watched enough shows to understand what 'b-plots' meant."

He snapped his teeth playfully at her, tickling until she was breathless with laughter. It was a pretty good way to end a shitty evening.

☉

On a ship that both once and still was an island, hidden among depths of fog in a dead part of the ocean, a monster woke up. Shadows quivered at his step, darkness bending in his wake. His crew was scattered around him, still organizing their latest loot. He’d wanted to recruit a new member while he was here, but the only interesting one had managed to get away. A pity, but one he’d deal with later.

A light flared, burning bright in the black sky.

"Ah, Commander Ace!" Marshall D. 'Blackbeard' Teach called in greeting, grinning wide. "I was wondering when you'd catch up."

"Don't you call me that," Portgas D. 'Fire Fist' Ace snapped. "That's a title of respect, and it doesn't belong in your mouth."

"Don't be like that, Ace. Tell you what, why don't you join my crew?"

"Not a chance in the Locker." Fire flared, just as darkness billowed.

For the first time, they clashed.

[firespirited]

Today was derailed (in a good way) I was doing futher desk buying research as the stuff I'm seeing online looks kinda flimsy and M was passing by and goes "hey I don't like my desk, can we swap?" so I spent the day on the floor dismantling desks.

Lily the dog insisted on hazardously getting in the way of any and all furniture moving including a point where we all got trapped in the tiny corridor and had to lift the item and gently kick the dog forwards.

She was furious when I closed the door on my room which could only be navigated like one of those sliding puzzles. Pretty sure she thinks she's the foreman and doing important supervision. I love having her around but she likes to nick dremel bits and screws.

I'm too sore to say if the new desk (it's actually super old) is any better so it'll be a few days but at least it's another size to try in case I buy later. M's happy with mine at least.

The finale of Quantum Leap left us on a vague single sentence cliffhanger. I was starting to enjoy it and the cast but it was only 8 episodes. Hope it gets renewed, the format is great for tuning in to a different story and perspective every week.

Decided to not watch Warrior Nun, I'm burnt out on the binge watch season with cliffhanger episodes. There have been some great ones this year: Midnight Mass and Paper Girls are just the most recent but I remember thinking "oh hey it would actually be more fun-fun and less pushy-stressful-fun to rewatch something like Stargate Atlantis."

I'm thinking about the GdT curated Cabinet of Curiosities or Archive 81, it fits my current taste for the episodic and might have some decent smart horror. I really enjoyed the Monsterland anthology in 2020.

Speaking of, Something In The Dirt from the Benson and Moorehead cosmic horror and very relatable characters universe is out, go see it if you can. It'll be on streaming at the end of the month but I just know it'd be amazing on the big screen. Watch The Endless on netflix if you want an idea of what these two storytelling friends do on a budget.

Will put together small postage and parcel postage posts of baldies and unfinished projects after the second more agressive sweep. Below cost or for trade: black saran, vivid or pastel hq nylon colours, nylon strands for building a swatch, good acrylic paint and medium, new gloss as mine is old and seems to break down a few weeks after painting when I've used watered down paint. Maybe interesting textured or coloured yarns for when I get to be able to do 40 mins an hour at a time. Yikes, We're not even close to rebuilding my lower back yet lol I'm already planning how to get back to creating.

I've talked a lot in the past about how I dislike twitter for how it made me feel and having to navigate back through the quote tweets to get answers feels like in jokes you have to learn (this is a feature missing from mastodon because they believe it promotes dunk/cringe content culture instead of direct communication) . But I hadn't really talked about the fascinating people who used to study twitter, large scale moderation, harm reduction on current events (think 'not naming school shooters guidelines' but for a host of issues). I really hope some of them get hired by tumblr on how to engage hate speech and put them into contact with deradicalization programs, not just nazis but the gender essentialists of the terf, pro choice and red pill types are in cult-like communities.

Love to everyone who's feeling the autumn in their joints and american friends not looking forward to the ungrateful work of making thanksgiving happen. ❤️🌸❤️

[all-pacas]

DIAGNOSTIC OLYMPICS, SEASON 3, EPISODES 1-12

S1: part one, part two, part three

S2: part one, part two, part three

Hi! I was curious about who on House (besides House) gets the most diagnoses right. Other folks have already run a tally (it's Chase), but I was curious how other factors would influence the tally — whose ideas get run with, who manages treatment, who screws up… So I thought I'd keep score.

1 point for getting the answer. This is almost always going to be House.

.5 points for Valuable Contribution — stuff that isn't the final answer, but either is thought to be the final answer or is valuable to the solving of the case. Stuff like "noticing something on the MRI" doesn't count; things like "figuring out how to treat" does.

-.5 to -1 for Mistakes — stuff that delays or prevents diagnoses, injuring or killing patients, etc.

MEANING DIAGNOSES: Scurvy for patient one, Addison’s for patient two

+2 HOUSE: One for curing scurvy girl, and one for Addison’s guy. That said, not a lot to say about this episode; the fellows didn’t do much besides follow orders and most of the episode was just about House. Which is fine, just boring for the purposes of this project!

CANE AND ABLE DIAGNOSES: Chimerism

+1 HOUSE: Still manages to pull it out in the end, despite being off his game. +.5 CAMERON: Is the one to figure out why the patient keeps having different results on his bleeding time tests (that isn’t “Chase fucked up”). Also has the idea to tag the foreign DNA in order to target it for removal. +0 CHASE: Yet another episode where he really bonds with a child patient, and he even tells off the parents for not being supportive. He doesn’t do much in terms of diagnosing, although he does a lot to take care of the kid. CHASE DID IT: Chase is blamed for screwing up a bleeding test: this is the second time him making a mistake has been the operative assumption. This time, Foreman really jumps on the bandwagon.

INFORMED CONSENT DIAGNOSES: Amyloidosis

+0 HOUSE: Sure, he solved it. But putting the patient in a coma against his will and insisting on treatment against his will is… shady. I mean, I get that sometimes patients don’t know what is in their own best interest and it’s a gray area, but we can all agree that this dude knew what he wanted and House utterly ignored it. -.5 CAMERON: She loses points for refusing to work on the case at all, which does count as “bad medical practice;” not to mention hypocrisy. She doesn’t want him to die, but refuses to treat him when House doesn’t kill him? She doesn’t lose points for the actual euthanasia: the patient was terminal and begging for it even before it was clear he was terminal, and that means she doesn’t get demerits for killing someone. +5 NURSE BRENDA: Watching her give everyone the stink eye this episode made me remember how great she is.

LINES IN THE SAND DIAGNOSES: Eye worms

+1 HOUSE: As per usual, figures it out. +.5 FOREMAN: His bedside manner is not winning him any points this episode. I don’t think it harmed anything, but his impatience and general rudeness wasn’t helpful, either. That said, his tricking Wilson into doing a biopsy for him was pretty great, and he gets his points for deciding a brain tumor is most likely, deciding he’ll biopsy and proceed under the assumption, and challenging House to come up with a better idea. House doesn’t have one, and so Foreman gets a merit for Leadership. +0 CAMERON: Did she do anything related to the case this episode? +5 NURSE BRENDA: Did they write her off the show because she went to jail for trying to murder House? I love her

FOOLS FOR LOVE DIAGNOSES: Genetic disease. And incest!

+1 HOUSE: Comes up with the genetic explanation after an episode of foundering. +.5 CHASE: Comes up with a diagnoses of salmonella based on pot use, which is a stretch but House likes it and they run with it; it’s wrong but it’s the only idea they have for a while. +.5 FOREMAN: Because they’re not thinking genetic, they really struggle to come up with a diagnosis. Foreman insists it must be two different diseases, and gets his way on a biopsy when House doesn't have a better idea. +50 UHHH: Foreman comes out really strongly pro-incest in this episode, and like, I understand his basic point (they didn’t know they were siblings and even though they are genetically family they don’t have a familial relationship), but what a wild take from our guy.

QUE SERA SERA DIAGNOSES: Lung Cancer

+1 HOUSE: Finally realizes the dude has cancer after noticing clubbing on his hands. +.0 CAMERON: Manages to break the MRI and get away with it, which should honestly be worth more points. But loses those points for drugging the patient because she didn’t think he could make his own decisions about his care, causing him to crash through a window. -.5 CHASE: Exiting the entire episode when House tells him to “keep sitting on his ass” is honestly super funny of him. However, it’s also putting his whiny fatphobia ahead of helping the patient, sooo…

SON OF COMA GUY DIAGNOSES: Genetic disease, but mostly heart failure.

+0 TEAM: IDK man. This is a good episode, but it’s also one with fake medicine and no real diagnosing because it relies on fake coma fixing medicine. The fellows work hard while the grownups have their road trip.

WHAC-A-MOLE DIAGNOSES: Genetic disease

+.5 HOUSE: House figures it out, but loses some points for keeping his team from helping Wilson, which in turn endangers Wilson’s patients. He also loses like five friendship points, but we’re not judging on that. +.0 CHASE: When House challenges the fellows to run a single test, Chase’s first guess is a virus, and he points out that the vomiting could have caused the heart attack. House’s theory is Hepatitis A, and he agrees with the heart attack/vomit idea. Chase ends up testing for bacteria and not a virus, but he was by far the closest of the three -- Foreman thought neurological, and Cameron thought a weakness in the heart. Chase doesn’t get points, because he didn’t actually figure it out, but I thought it was interesting to mention that he was by far the closest.

FINDING JUDAS DIAGNOSES: Light allergy

+1 CHASE: Honestly, part of me wants to give him more than one point for this. We’ve had a few episodes now where someone else has figured out the diagnosis moments before House, or after House, but this is the first time someone figures it out instead of House. Chase is about to go on a bit of a hot streak, though, so he’ll make up the bonus points later. CHASE DID IT: Both literally solving the case, and, when House starts to question the treatment, Chase preemptively (and angrily) suggests that maybe he screwed up, since that’s always where House ends up.

MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS DIAGNOSES: Autoimmune cancer

+.5 HOUSE: Figures it out, but steals oxy. From a dead patient, so I guess technically he didn’t do any medical harm, but… IDK, I’m counting it. +0 TEAM: Foreman comes the closest to being useful this episode: Cameron is too busy being mad at Wilson, and Chase is largely silent, I guess still smarting over being punched. But most of the episode is about House.

WORDS AND DEEDS DIAGNOSES: Meningioma

+1 HOUSE: Figures out just about every twist of the case, even while pretending to be in rehab. +.5 CHASE: Realizes the patient is hiding symptoms, which makes them realize he’s been having a whole series of heart attacks. Even Cameron and Foreman give him credit for the ‘breakthrough.’ +0 CAMERON: She correctly diagnoses broken heart syndrome, but misses the fact that the patient is delusional; that his partner and brother aren’t involved. This leads him to electroshock treatment and permanent literal brain damage. I don’t think she deserves to lose a point, since the electroshock was House’s idea and at the time it was the only solution they could think of. But it’s still a big thing to miss.

ONE DAY, ONE ROOM DIAGNOSES: N/A

RUNNING TALLY:

HOUSE: 44 (+8) TEAM: 5.5 (+0) FOREMAN: 3 (+1) CHASE: 6.5 (+1.5) CAMERON: 4 (+0)

Foreman has started to get himself into his niche of "able to successfully get his way over House," giving him such much needed points. Chase is about to go on one hell of a streak, starting of course with Finding Judas; even with a couple of demerits, he keeps having and getting credited for Good Ideas this season… which gets him fired, oh well.

[beeseverywhen]

White collar workers

When I started work as a civil servant at the London Passport Office 22 years ago I made the terrible mistake of believing I was going up in the world. I arrived at work wearing my best suit (in fact it was my only suit). I got the shock of my life: everyone else was wearing jeans. I ended up being assigned to a huge office, where half the people opened letters all day and the others stuffed envelopes. My job was to stamp the passports with a huge brass embossing machine all day long. I was part of a clerical production line.

The nature of white collar jobs has changed massively over the last 100 years. Clerical workers in the 19th century were regarded as middle class. Their pay, status and even dress made them more akin to managers. A clerical post was seen as a prized job and was usually a lifetime post. It was also a job that required a high level of skill. Very few clerical workers see themselves as that today.

The growth of white collar jobs throughout the last century has been accompanied by a huge growth in the number of women workers. Over the last 40 years office work has become increasingly deskilled and dependent on machinery. Work has become boring and repetitive. The introduction of costly technology (computers, faxes and photocopiers) has changed the pattern of work inside the office. A similar process has gone on in education, banking and local government.

One council housing worker described the drudgery of his work.

"We don’t have to clock in and out like my dad did when he worked in a factory. We now have a computer—I call it the hidden foreman. It is used by management to record and monitor how much work we do. It knows what time I start work, what time I finish, how long it takes me to have a piss. It monitors the number of telephone calls I answer and at a flick of a switch a supervisor can increase the pace of our work."

Investment in machines means that white collar jobs are no longer nine to five. White collar workers are expected to do shift work. Many offices are now open 24 hours a day. Certainly, in terms of pay, a routine clerical worker is part of the working class. A low-grade civil servant earns around £17,000 a year—no more than a manual car worker at Fords does. The growth of a large layer of middle management has accompanied this growth in white collar jobs.

Today the myth that white collar workers are not part of the working class remains as strong as ever. Yet unionisation levels and strikes in this sector refute this myth. The drive to attack the working conditions, skills levels and pay of white collar workers over the last 30 to 40 years has been accompanied by a growth of trade unions in the public sector. Figure 3 below shows the gross weekly pay scales of public sector workers. It demonstrates that the majority of white collar workers’ wages are comparable to manual workers’ wages. It also demonstrates that women workers are predominantly found in the lower paid jobs.

White collar workers such as office workers, many council workers and teachers make up a large section of Britain’s workforce. Today, they are some of the best-organised workers in the country (see Figure 2 above). Just as with their forefathers and mothers in the cotton mills, the mines and car plants, the growth of trade unionism in the white collar sector came about over a relatively long period and as a result of a number of disputes, strikes and campaigns.

Over the past 20 years Britain has witnessed a huge growth in call centres, there are approximately 850,000 workers currently employed in them. Some studies describe the workers in these centres as white collar workers and others as part of the service economy. But they are also commonly described as the new coal miners of the 21st century. If you read most reports in the media you would assume that these workers are completely atomised, have no power and face the constant fear of having their work outsourced to India or Romania. But again that is not a true picture. A series of recent studies shows that most of the companies which run these operations expect the number to keep on growing over the next few years, though not at quite the rate of a few years back. For every story about outsourcing to India, there is one about a new call centre being built in Britain, mostly ignored by the press. In fact a recent report in the Guardian notes that companies like Kwik-Fit Insurance and Powergen, who had outsourced their work to India, are now relocating back to the UK because they can’t find enough staff with the right level of technical skills and knowledge. Ironically, ICICI OneSource, a Mumbai-based outsourcing company, said it was building a new 1,000 person call centre in Belfast because of ‘its highly skilled workforce and relatively cheap property prices’.

Again expanding job opportunities and skills shortages in the industry are giving call centre workers the confidence to demand higher wages and better conditions. Last year I spoke to a call worker from Newcastle. He told me:

"There are five call centres on our industrial park. All of them are constantly advertising for trained staff. You end up meeting workers from other call centres in your lunch break in local cafes and pubs. Of course you find out who has the best hours and who gets the best rates of pay. All you have to do is ask your supervisor for a pay rise or a change in conditions. If they say no you just move to the next call centre across the road. There is a natural levelling up. It’s good old fashioned economics of supply and demand."

It’s also become clear that unions like the CWU, Amicus and Unison are now organising in some of these centres.

[the-hem]

The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard. From Matthew 20:1-16.

The Torah identifies something called a Skilled Worker, the only type that can enter, prepare and operate the Temple. Now, all of us are religious on this planet, all of us know we are not responsible for existence itself, that we are, in various ways taking advantage of something precious and magnificent in defiance of what God told our predecessors was essential for a certain future on this world.

We are buckling under the weight of our doubt and sin. We are unskilled. Psychopaths and freaks are running things and this is not of God. I am revealing these Parables to help us understand how broken our approach is because we donot understand religion, specifically, The Religion, the fishbone of all faiths, Judaism.

Everyone needs to become skilled at Judaism and understand everything the Torah says or life on earth will stop and it will not restart again.

Let's start with what it means to be a Skilled Worker and who the Employer happens to be.

"A tzaddik is an indentured employee, someone accustomed to following orders. He has never tasted independence, never been on his own. Though he honestly and industriously labors in G‑d's service, he has never felt the need to take a gamble, never felt the rush experienced by someone who goes out on a limb—he's always on the straight and steady."

Tzaddiks, or employees are not slaves, they do not work for nothing or in vain. They are the saints of Judaism, the ones that understand the most direct path to civilized life within society, the home and the workplace.

The Employer is the Torah.

How can any of you say you are God's Employee or employ religion in your life while this world suffocates, fries, starves, thirsts, and murders itself? How can you say you know God, and want to be of God while merciless indecent people show up on your ballots and then walk through their presidencies without a care or a damn for anything of value to the human race?

Nearly every child on earth reads the Torah but look at the savage adults they turn into without a single apology? Look at how you eat and dress and cavort yourselves. Do you see yourselves yet? How skilled are you really?

Here begins the Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard.

Note the parable is broken up by times of day rather than the Four Directions:

20 “For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. 2 He agreed to pay them a denarius[a] for the day and sent them into his vineyard.

3 “About nine in the morning he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. 4 He told them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ 5 So they went.

“He went out again about noon and about three in the afternoon and did the same thing. 6 About five in the afternoon he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’

7 “‘Because no one has hired us,’ they answered.

“He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’

8 “When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’

9 “The workers who were hired about five in the afternoon came and each received a denarius. 10 So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. 

11 When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. 

12 ‘These who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’

13 “But he answered one of them, ‘I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius?

 14 Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. 15 Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’

16 “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

Each section has a specific and separate meaning:

“For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. 2 He agreed to pay them a denarius[a] for the day and sent them into his vineyard.

The Kingdom of Heaven requires the Crown, the Christ and the Subject, who is yoked to Him.

Morning is East, the moment something dawns upon us. As for the vineyard: it represents civilization doing what God said, producing something through collaboration that has no potential for violence or strife, every opportunity for illumination.

Hired workers do what they are told, they get a dividend: the denarius= "life's purposes" are revealed.

3 “About nine in the morning he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. 4 He told them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ 5 So they went.

Anything having to do with nine refers to gestation in the womb and the revelation of the Torah. It takes an entire human birth to know the Torah, it is best to get a head start.

Persons spending time in the marketplace, unemployed doing nothing are ripe for temptation. Jesus did not tolerate this and tells them they are meant for bigger and better things, "whatever is right." He tells them to leave Egypt and earn something important that will belong only to them.

If we follow the logic of the Parable, Jesus is telling them to be in front of their personal prosperities. The Gematria of 7887 yields זח‎חז‎, zahaz, "to be a seer or visionary."

חזה

The verb חזה (haza) means to see or behold. Noun חזה (hozeh) means seer or visionary. Nouns חזות (hazot), חזות (hazut), חזיון (hizzayon) and מחזה (mahazeh) mean vision, anything between the mere act of seeing to experiencing a prophetic apparition. The noun מחזה (meheza) literally describes a place or instrument of vision and is the word for window.

It may be that the verb חזה (haza) originated in the idea of being or looking forward, which would explain the noun חזה (hazeh), which describes the breast of an animal. It may also be that this noun derives from a second verb חזה (haza), to be in front.

“He went out again about noon and about three in the afternoon and did the same thing. 6 About five in the afternoon he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’

7 “‘Because no one has hired us,’ they answered.

“He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’

While dawn is amazing, noon is better:

"we can see that, actually, the "sweet" or "light-filled" hours actually begin exactly at midnight and commence at high noon. That moment of transformation from when the harshest of spiritual forces of the daily clock dominate to the beginning of the shining of the light of the coming day takes place exactly at the midpoint of the night. Simply put, being awake and actively engaged in divine service from this time through the dawn allows us to tap into the incredible potential manifest by this spiritual phenomenon."

The five times of dawn 9, 12, 3, 5, are called APEST, a fivefold framework, or topology, is sometimes referred to as Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Shepherd and Teacher, all the types of Skilled Workers.

Each of them received a denarius and this cranked a few of them off, but Jesus said the work of each one contributes somehow to the completion of the work in the vineyard which adds knowledge and value to the concept of the soul.

As Jesus said, if one is standing there doing nothing, so is the soul. If one is at work in one of the capacities mentioned then one is earning value for the soul. What is the evidence of this?

The Gematria says strength of character and "ornaments for the clothes" are signs one has earned the denarius, from 16748, או‎‎זדח‎‎‎, ozadah:

The masculine noun עז ('oz), meaning strength (Isaiah 26:1, Psalm 8:2). This word is used primarily for God, particularly in the Psalms.

עדד

Root עדד ('adad) describes a repeated passing by or over, or a repeated encountering. Noun עדה ('idda) describes any well-worn item.

Verb עדה ('ada I) means to advance or pass on. Nouns עד ('ad) and ועד (w'ad) describe the difficult concept of a future era advancing upon the now, or else the prey or booty upon which a predator advances. The conjunction עד ('ad) or עדי ('ady) means "as far as" or until.

The same verb, namely עדה ('ada II) is used to mean to adorn or ornament oneself — that is: to have items approach the canvas of one's bulk in order to testify of some social rank or perhaps the trade or order one belongs to. Noun עדי ('adi) means ornamentation: fancy or declarative things worn on one's body or clothes.

The Ornaments separate us from the animules and they are found in Parsha Mattot:

Animals vs. Ornaments.

48 Then the officers who were over the units of the army—the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds—went to Moses 49 and said to him, “Your servants have counted the soldiers under our command, and not one is missing. 50 So we have brought as an offering to the Lord the gold articles each of us acquired—armlets, bracelets, signet rings, earrings and necklaces—to make atonement for ourselves before the Lord.”

Gold is the color of enlightenment. Ornaments are reminders. Those made of gold are revisited from the Torah, and bind the limb or faculty to the principals contained there. They include:

Armlets: arms mobilize what happens in the head.

Bracelets/Wrists are for masturbating. Be sure to remember God and the Torah each time.

Actually bracelets reinforce what we are to desire and what we choose to take- weapons or instruments.

Signets are national tenets.

Earrings remind us what is appropriate to listen to.

Necklaces: remind us of what is proper to say.

Atonements therefore are made using the limbs, ears, mouth, etc. are done by reminding ourselves through study of the torahs, tzavs, edoms, etc.

Tefillin, boxes containing scrolls which are attached to leather bondage tape and wrapped around little kids, are prescribed for the same purposes...

The boxes represent the process of Chabad, as it doubles the various concepts of reality back in on itself within the mind, the leather bondage straps are the Devarim, which bind the mind to its tasks of analyzing the Instructions contained in the Torah.

Chief amongst the Ornaments is called Sukkoth, "self-esteem" which is different from Rameses, "self-aggrandizement.'

So, we work in the Vineyard for the purposes of the former, and not the latter. And when animal men are in charge, telling people to do weird things instead of their jobs, this is just not possible.

The same is true with regards to work. Work without pay is forbidden, and so is sacrifice without happiness.

Thus ends the Parable.