#how does spooning work
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Battle of the Not It
Just me pushing my personal agenda that the Battle for the Cowl makes no freaking sense once again.
I want to see the Battle of the Not It, Nose Goes, Worst out of 126+ Rounds of Rock Paper Siscors Takes It, etc. Basically, the Batfam throwing down in Bruce's absence to Not Be The One Who Inherits (TM). No one wants dear dad's emo fursona but they all agree someone has to take it. The resulting Loser Gets Batmanned sibling war throws Gotham into chaos, Oracle's keeping score of everything, the one with the lowest score at the end of every week is stuck with Batman Duty the following week.
Damian hates loosing his swords everytime he gets stuck doing Batman. Tim can't stand losing his tech. Jason misses his guns. Cass hates having to talk on can't use words days. Staphanie hates doing the voice. Dick can't tolerate being unable to smile. Duke needs his freaking sleep. The list goes on because they've all agreed they hate to embody Bruce's Batman, no one can put their own flare on it (Gun!Batman will not happen on their watch and they won't risk any other equally horrible variation either.) The resulting sibling war takes place 24/7 in the masks and the criminals and citizens of Gotham are as awed as they are horrified by it.
The strangest alliances form and disolve week to week. Dick cheats whenever he gets close to loosing and dips out because "Bludhaven needs him." Cass flits off to China on a last minute mission when too many of her siblings start forming up an alliance against her. Steph breaks her leg (she says it's an accident but Tim has very vocal doubts about that). Tim, Duke, and Damien start teaming up against Jason frequently and Red Hood gets stuck doing Batman practically every other week. Other weeks, Jason picks one of them as Robin for his Batman week (rotating between them as revenge) and forces a temporary alliance to make another of them Batman for the next week. Alfred encourages the four's little rivalry and manages to finagle them into all staying in the manor full time with him.
Just Batfam bonding shenanigans over how much they all Do Not want to be Batman.
And when Bruce comes back Babs naturally has a highlight reel waiting for him. Some of the gems include: Steph in a cast with crutches say "oh no, I broke my leg, however will I be Batman now" in the most deadpan voice. Dick 'answering' an obviously turned off cell phone pretending it's an emergency calling him back to Bludhaven. Cass saluting the security camera as she leaves with a full duffle bag in the dead of night. Jason in the Batsuit, minus cowl, storming into the kitchen shouting "you little shits are conspiring against me!" As Tim, Duke, and Damien are crowded around the island with a bunch of documents clearing planning something. A heated game of Rock Paper Scissors between Dick, Jason, and Tim with the rest of the batkids watching (having already won their freedom from the cowl for the following week). Duke wearing the cowl and asking Oracle repeatedly over coms if it's time for bed yet. Damien throwing a full on tantrum trying to get out of wearing the physical cowl "it's unnecessary and impractical!"
Oracle sends him the reel a day after his return during the standard Justice League team meeting, helpfully projecting it so everyone can see. The reels starts with an argument in the Bat Cave between all of Batman's (previously unknown to the Justice League) children:
"Well, Dickhead, I guess this means you're it now." The clip starts with a red helmeted man speaking.
"The fuck?" Nightwing asks on screen.
"You're Batman now." The teenager with yellow bandoliers replies from where he sits in front of an enormous computer. A girl in purple and another in black both nod. (At this point, it begins to dawn on members of the Justice League that this is footage from the fabled Bat Cave they're seeing.)
"Oh, fuck that!" Nightwing answers. "Not it!" He shouts. The boy with the bandoliers jolts and then says seemingly reflexively.
"Nose goes!" Bandolier boy calls out hand shooting up and touching his nose as he speaks. Both girls and Nightwing react immediately following suit. A smaller boy with a sword copies them a half second later. The red helmeted man sputters.
"Wha-that-NO! NO NO NO NO NO! I am not the one! Fuck no!"
"You snooze you loose, Bro." Nightwings tells him.
There's a pause, red helmet starts laughing, pulls the helmet off slowly to reveal a red domino underneath, and lazily touches his nose with a sharp grin.
"You're right, Bro." He says teasingly. "And Signal's still sleeping." A short pause and then all the people on screen are laughing.
"Oh," bandoliers gasps out between giggles. "He is gonna be so pissed in the morning."
#batman#jason todd#tim drake#batfam#bruce wayne#dick grayson#duke thomas#damian al ghul#damian wayne#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#justice league#justice league meets the batfam#justice league finds out batman does not work alone#batkids#batfam shenanigans#no one wants the cowl#keep your emo fursona to yourself#gotham needs batman#battle of the not it#battle of the not it au#please?#🥺#i have very few spoons but i want to read this#this idea has been haunting me#for actual months now#crime alley is just watching red hood sulk everytime he has to be batman#like our poor little crime lord can't shoot people this week and we are sad for him! vibes#dick said oh hell no i cannot be emo and dipped#tim duke and damian all said 'we need an adult. look a jason how convient.'
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Tom's line about Shiv being selfish and "find[ing] it very hard to think about me" is actually so telling because while it's absolutely true that she rarely takes his position into consideration, Tom never once thinks about what he can do to help Shiv unless it also benefits him.
Every single time he makes a move or sacrifice that might help her, it's always something that he thinks will give him a leg up. He volunteers to take the fall for cruises, not for Shiv, who is in no way implicated, or even for Waystar, but because he thinks it'll ingratiate him to Logan, and the second it seems like he might have to actually follow through on that, he immediately tries to get out of it and even throws Shiv under the bus. Meanwhile, for all that Shiv disregards his interests, there are a number of things she does that only help him, and she's the one who actually sacrifices something and undermines her position with Logan to beg him not to let Tom go to jail.
It just makes it so clear that no matter how much he might love her (and I think he does, in his own compromised way), for him their relationship was always built on the underlying assumption that it's her job to prop him up, but it's not his job to help her.
#i rewatched that ep a few days ago and this was just cooking in my brain for a bit#their relationship is so messy and interesting i want to watch them get a divorce on a loop forever#and like. the wildest thing is that Tom does occasionally do things that don't serve him to help someone else. but its always greg#which you might say is ultimately down to the power dynamics (shiv can do more for tom than he can for her and tom can do more for greg)#but there are still plenty of points where tom actually does have the power to help shiv and chooses not to#and I love how succession never really has a clear 'what this character is telling you is 100% the truth of the story' moments#anytime a character is making a statement like 'this is who you are/who i am' or 'this is what i really want/what you really want' there's#always some kernel of truth to it but the narrative they're spinning is almost never fully honest#you can't take any of it at face value and it's such a good way of showing how they're always on some level 'playing the game'#and like. at a time when so many stories are basically spoon-feeding their audiences it's so nice to have a story that trusts you to#sort through it all and see what's real and what's not and rewards you for putting that work in#succession#4x07 tailgate#succession season 4#failmarriage#shiv roy#tomshiv#tom wambsgans#siobhan roy
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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YES CUDDLES! saiki can confirm his temp so he's always pleasant to be around and touch. Tori is a fucking heater all year round so he doesn't get so easily cold but he likes to pretend and be dramatic bc he likes cuddles :3 and akechi is the opposite, he is a lil icicle year round so he's always a lil cold if not then his hands and fingertips are always cold so he always likes to huddle around his bfs for warmth. And like I said before even tho saiki can control his temp he still likes to occasionally initiate cuddles when his bfs aren't in the immediate vicinity to take advantage of his body temperatures. It'll be a lil chilly and he'll be like OOO perfect weather for cuddles. But his bfs will be in a different room or something so he'll make himself a lil warmer and go sit by them and he's just radiating warmth so they scoot a lil closer and by the end of it they're straight on cuddling him, sandwiching him if u will. And wow what an honor. Being sandwiched by your pretty bfs. A Twink on ur left and a himbo on her right ahhh this is the life 😩
hey can i have a bit of your attention for a moment
torisaikechi
#dont we all wish we were saiki#or tori#or akechi#just having two partners to sandwich you#how does spooning work#how do they sleep in the same bed#is tori the biggest spoon#is saiki in the middle or the lil spoon or the biggest spoon#is akechi in the middle or is he the littlest spoon?#🥄#ruchan rambles
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Who the hell designed the dragons in House if the Dragon
What the fuck are those wings
#worst of all Syrax has pretty normal realistic wings so they very much could've done it for the other dragons#none of these bitches look like they could fly#literally every time I see any of the HotD dragons in flight I think about how the hell does their spine work#and their body just. flops#and there's so many scenes where their tails are dragging across ground or over water in flight like girl!!!#why are you slowing yourself down!!! why are you increasing your drag so much you're gonna fall from the goddamn sky#not to mention caraxes like what even is that design#he'd work if in addition to being so damn long he was the *only* dragon with spoon wings to make him look freakier compared to others#also wth are those leg wings#especially when his legs just hang limply in flight#who the hell was in charge of the dragon designs holy hell
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Did dishes 2 days in a row
AND cleaned the counters
AND cleaned the sink
I feel unstoppable. Tired. But unstoppable.
#wonder how long this like.. normal-person-level-of-energy thing will last#ok i say normal person but it's still... tired normal person#but that's pretty energetic for me!!#instead of having a daily spoon limit of say.. 10 spoons I've had 15 or perhaps on a REALLY good day 17#and like yknow 8 of those spoons typically go towards being Functional At Work#ah.... but all that being said I've done the cleaning but now I'm not up to cooking dinner#consequences....#OOOH and it makes me mad all over again about some dumb shit my brother said yesterday#i told him to get out of the kitchen bc he was STINKY after work that morning and I needed to prep the slow cooker#and i was NOT gonna do it with that smell hanging around so i told him again 'get out of my kitchen'#and that lil fucker said to me - the person who actually does the cooking and most of the thorough cleaning in there - that it's HIS kitchen#he's like “oo i pay the bills for the household” YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARD THE HOUSE IS ALREADY PAID FOR AND YOU DON'T TAKE CARE OF IT PROPER#ok. anyway. kitchen is nice and clean now. hehe
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. damble
#poly svu#where barba and elliot get kicked out the bedroom because they are at each others necks#again. and rollins is sick and tired of hearing them banter. because normally she will ignore them in favor of admiring her lovely wifes.#but her children came into their bedroom asking if “papa baba” and “ellie” were fighting again. theyre sleeping on the couch tonight.#el and raf start bickering in the goddamn living room because of course the heating system just HAD to break down and die#they tried joining back the large cuddle pile in the bedroom. olivia gives them the stare. and tosses a blanket at them.#cue the “there was only one couch” trope and barba begrudgingly decides to share the couch with a shivering stabler.#raf being the bigger spoon. elliot deciding now would be a great time to talk about their feelings at the witching hour.#raf trying to ignore him in favor of falling asleep but ends up sharing his emotions too. damnit. they both have work in the morning.#much to rafael’s surprise elliot apologizes. it’s a start of a mutual understanding about how they protect the people they love.#maybe even towards each other.#carisi does NOT wake them up in the morning btw he takes blackmail photos and draws on their big foreheads with perm sharpie#valeress rambles
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I'm like. spiraling.
My body hurts and it's falling apart and there's nothing wrong with it and there's no way to fix it. I'll never be able to have a normal job again. I can barely stand how am I supposed to finish college. I need help and I keep asking people to help me and that makes them uncomfortable and I'm asking too much of them. I say there is no food in my house. They say why don't you go buy food. I say I'm too disabled to drive. They say oof lol. How does oof help me. How are you not worried about me. How when I say I haven't bought food in a week or washed my clothes in a year people respond omg lol and not holy shit are you okay do you need help how are you alive. Not to be lazy or anything but I would actually literally kill for someone to hold me and say it's okay you don't have to do this alone anymore I'm going to help you. I would commit unspeakable acts of violence for someone to offer to drive me to the store. Once you're disabled you're trash you can't contribute to society just let yourself decay. I make everyone uncomfortable by just existing as myself and I ruin every event by either being visibly in pain and pulling an ugly face because my legs are about to give out or by not going because my spine is broken and I can't leave my bed. My family won't help me they don't believe me I'm not allowed to flinch or look like I'm in pain because my face is ugly when I'm in pain and I'm just faking it to get out of doing anything at all. I don't have a single support system or way to survive this shit. I'm in so much pain constantly there's not even a word for it because I can't just say it hurts nobody takes me seriously or understands just how bad it hurts. I can't say it's like a knife in my spine that sounds so fucking fake. It's like a knife in my spine and every tiny cell that moves hurts it because it's a fucking blade stuck between my bones. It's cutting and mangling my skin and muscles and everyone is like why don't you just stop having a knife in your back and the doctors say you do not have avknifevin your back and my parents say everyone has a knife in their back and you're just pretending it hurts and being lazy because you hate me. How am I still alive why am I still alive why does it just keep getting worse
#There's actually no reason for me to exist and I'm never going to get better or get help and no one will ever understand#I feel so useless and I will never be as good as my peers#Even my disabled peers live and handle themselves and manage their symptoms better than I can#I'm like not okay for real my brain is Fucked fucked#Shit like eating and pissing have become a fucking reward for me I'm not allowed to do it if I've been bad#I say good. you sit there and you hurt and you think about what you did and you think about this next time you want to act like a baby#But punishment doesn't even fucking work on me nothing works!!!!!!!!#I just like having a real tangible way to prove I can feel and I'm not making my pain up#I'm such a fucking toddler I expect to be fed with a spoon and reminded to use the potty and told when I need to take a nap#I need to be told how to shower properly and the right way to clean my house and the normal way to speak to people or think with my brain#Why am I like this. Why when I start to get comfortable with someone I pretend I'm a baby or a dog#Nobody thinks this way. What the fuck is wrong with you#Why can't I be a human. Why do I want to bark and bite people. Why does it hurt to touch people like a person would#There isn't a single normal thing about me. I'm so fucked up and awful and gross I literally need to be put down
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got tagged by @m3k-fhr and @thecryptidenthusiast to use this picrew! this picrew was so cute so of course i did all of my steps and their puppets
tagging @silvery-bluish @euelios and @gonesoft-ish if any of you are interested?
#fun fact: i had to redo caine three times because i kept forgetting/getting stuff wrong#at one point i forgot his stubble and only remembered when i accidentally gave ceci stubble 😭#i tried to base each puppets stats on their in game stats! not with the steps because i didnt think about doing that for them djejjejd#can you tell cyrus ended up w puppetcrash#general tidbits about this:#caines little fish treat is not for him. its for spoon#cyrus Has stuff in those little locked things but you dont get to see them because hes a cagey bastard(and by that i mean#theyre crochet presents that hes embarrassed to show)#cyrus' puppet is actually named argentine but! it Did Not Fit :') agent works though#i gave ceci the dagger because it was cute but if were speaking fr shed just beat your ass w her fists. love my fighter girls <3#ace has the same things in her inventory as ceci because she doesnt like acting like somebody else#-ia. there i completed cynthias name#eden is not a mirror puppet but she Does closely resemble cynthia prehb#which i really wanna dive into when i eventually make the post w my steps and their puppet relationships#the stats from left to right for the steps is energy/fighting proficiency/how close they are to snapping#the stats from left to right for the puppets are current health/how fit the puppet is/precog
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i am allowed to both be delighted and content with the way my evening went and how lovely it was to be around friends, and also be really upset over the fact that i cannot do much without intense and great pain.
#like tonight was super fucking pleasant!#i really enjoy hanging out with people and talking and meeting new folks and just having a Nice Time!#it's one of my favorite things is to Hang Out with a group of people#and i just...i just#it is hard not to feel like i'm being punished for having fun#but that's apparently more rooted in my trauma than i initially realized#and also it just...does kind of feel like a punishment like you're allowed to have fun#so long as you can handle the QUENCIES#and i'm like my *guy* i just.#i didn't get to hang out with people as a kid can i please get to have friends now as an adult like a normal people finally?#preferably without needing to brace up and have the heating pad on while i wait for the meds to do work#and i'm allowed to be mad about this!!! i am allowed to be so upset!!!!#and i am!!! i am incredibly upset by this!!!!!#this is also just How It Is and i don't have a way to fix it yet#and i don't know if there *is* a way to fix it at all#so i just... just gotta deal#doesn't even get into the fact that i had to save up spoons not just to hang out but also to watch a Favorite Thing#and that i didn't realize how many spoons Favorite Thing was going to take out of me and now i'm out of spoons#so imight not be able to hang out tomorrow with friends again and i *wanna*#i'm not even sure i'll have enough energy to continue watching Favorite Thing like !!!!!!#this is so bullshit#i hate this
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lord ok i'm not doomed to be unable to write forever. i am however so so so sick and burnt out. i know every chronically ill person's life sucks but i feel like i'm entering an Advanced era of suckage.
#post-spoonie. i dont have spoons on any given day. you guys are getting spoons?? thats wild wish i could break into the economy#so 'writing' for a while might just involve making playlists and thinking hard about the OCs#autoimmune tag#loling at how the only productive writing i got done in 7 months was while i had covid#so. while i guess i was less sick than usual. or at least wasnt NOTICING the autoimmune symptoms#ok. gonna sun myself in a park and pick up some working earbuds and then take my new meds and sleep.#and we'll see if it does anything. but. yknow. managing expectations
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I love writing I wish I could feel normal things about the literary community
#srry i bounce wildly between wow everyone here is so cool and wonderful and oh god i need to lock myself in a room and become#a professional spoon blacksmith for the rest of my life and not talk to anybody#depending on how close i feel to a total breakdown at any given moment#im sorry. in general everyone i meet is very cool and awesome and that does not change i just have very unsolid cognitions abt my work and#litmags n stuff. and also this may partially be related to my mom idk
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had a dream about buying the ingredients for ice cream floats and uh. i think i have to try this but im so scaerd
#it sounds either like the best thing ever or plain awful#i have cola and coconut ice cream#like the really really good type of coconut ice cream. one spoon and my eyes roll back its that good#does that work. how do these things work. ofc i will make a teeny tiny portion so i dont waste much if it sucks#basil yells at cloud
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Everyone in the comments giving tips are refusing to be humbled by god
you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble
#also the only way to actually do it is tap the bottom of the egg where the air bubble is lightly with a spoon BEFORE boiling#you will hear a lil ting noise and that is the sound of the membrane separating from the shell#it works every time#does not matter how old the egg is#aaannd you get a cute lil audio cue that it worked#you’re welcome
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ʚɞ warnings: fem!reader, obsessive behaviour, pervy geto, stalking, penetration (p in v), doggystyle, fingering, oral (f receiving), creampie, hints of yandere, 18+ minors dni.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who notices you the moment you first attend one of his classes, immediately singling you out among the small group of his regulars laying down their mats.
he's never seen someone so young and pretty in his studio before — most of his customers were married middle-aged women old enough to be his mother. but not you.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who takes a very keen interest in you from that very first session, his sharp gaze never leaving you for long each time you come in. to his dismay, however, you always take the spot right at the back of the room, meaning he has to crane his neck around all of the gossiping older ladies to get a good look at you. hmm, that won't do.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who keeps you behind one day after a class, subtly suggesting that you move closer to the front so he can 'get a clearer look' at your progress. and if you catch on to the real reason he wants you closer, you don't say anything; so he assumes you bought the excuse. perfect.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who, once you begin working right at the front, gets more and more handsy as time goes on. what began as just a light brush of his fingers to improve your positioning turns into him fully grasping your hips to manoeuvre your body the way he wants.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who isn't oblivious to the jealous looks cast in your direction from the other women when he does this. he just pays them no mind; he's not interested in them, after all. only you.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who finds himself becoming increasingly obsessed with you after each session, talking yoga instructor!gojo's ear off about how pretty you are and how utterly delicious the arch of your back is when he gets everyone to do the downward dog stretch.
his friend laughs but reminds him that it's strictly against the rules of the yoga studio to get involved with a customer (as if he cares about such trivial things like that.)
pervy yoga instructor!geto who starts insisting on you staying behind after every single class, claiming it would be good for you to have some one-on-one sessions with him to hone your skills. when you don't protest, he thinks you must either be completely clueless or into him just as much as he is you. he really hopes it's the latter.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who uses these private classes to get you to do various risqué positions for him that definitely aren't real yoga stretches. but what you don't know can't hurt you, right?
pervy yoga instructor!geto whose mood becomes sour once you stop attending his sessions. had he gone too far? did you think he was a creep? he didn't even care if you filed a report about him for his behaviour at this point — as long as it meant he got to see you at the subsequent meeting.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who only lasts a few weeks before he's rifling through the customer files in his office, yanking out your folder and scanning the page.
once he finds your address, he's in his car and on the way there, breaking every speed limit on the way. and before he even knows it, he's outside your house, peeking in through the window.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who spots you curled up on your couch, crying softly in front of the television while spooning ice cream into your pretty mouth. and suddenly, all his previous anger is replaced with concern. he hasn't even formed an excuse to explain why he's here before he's knocking on the door.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who hurriedly tells you that "it's company policy to check on customers who haven't attended sessions for a certain amount of time", mentally patting himself on the back when you seem to buy it and let him into your apartment.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who listens intently as you spill all the details about your cheating asshole of a boyfriend. so that's why you've been absent. but don't worry — he can make you forget all about that worthless scum. after all, he didn't deserve you anyway!
suguru could treat you so much better. and he will, if you let him.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who kisses your tears away, hushing you softly and whispering in your ear about how beautiful you are and how he's had his eye on you since you first entered his studio. (he leaves out the part where he's fucked his fist to the thought of you in those tight little yoga pants countless times. he doesn't want to scare you off!)
pervy yoga instructor!geto who starts by running his hands over your perfect body he's been imagining touching just like this for so long, burying his head between your soft thighs and eating you out like it's his last meal until you're all nice and gushy.
he only stops when your tears of sadness turn into those of pleasure, until you're practically begging him to fuck you.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who starts by fucking you nice and slow on your couch in missionary, praising you over and over in that silken purr of his like you deserve. but soon enough he's flipping your body around, putting you in the yoga position that you always do the best for him; downward dog, ruthlessly rutting his fat cock into you from behind like an animal.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who has to use all of his willpower to make sure you cum on his cock first before he lets go himself, despite the fact he could've busted a nut the second he eased into your warm, tight little pussy.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who watches in silent satisfaction as his goopy cum oozes out of your abused cunt, quickly fingering it right back inside to make sure not a single drop goes to waste. "it's all for you, sweet baby." he murmurs, voice raspy and deep.
pervy yoga instructor!geto who effortlessly carries your exhausted body to your bedroom bridal style, cooing in your ear the entire way about how you're his now, and he's going to take such good care of you, his favourite girl.
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NEXT PART -> pervy lifeguard!gojo
#★sugoroo#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#geto x reader#geto smut#suguru x reader#suguru geto x reader#geto suguru#suguru geto#geto#suguru geto smut#geto x you#suguru smut#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru smut#geto x y/n#jjk headcanons
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agh i am Frustrated :/
#why does our boss Sucks#considering trying to nap it off but have a strong feeling it won't work + sleep schedule is already very fucked :/#i really really like our job!! but we also really really wanna move out!!#which we can't do if our boss keeps being a shithead#and giving us no hours and no default raises#like Please i feel like we're not asking for a lot#genuinely considering trying to get another job just for the money. but at the same time i can't imagine the manager at like. dairy queen#would be much better#i should get paid to lay in bed and fag it up $100/hr#if anyone has any Adult Advice. please#like maybe there's a side/work from home job that would require less spoons that we can do to supplement?#how does one find those#especially since we're Young with No Experience (other than ouppy daycare)#and all we got in terms of Fancy Education is a high school diploma#i don't Wanna go to college and go thousands of dollars into debt for the off chance i might get a better paying job#okay. rant over. i think#just. aggh
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