#how does one get that from a tram ride

[eeuwigestilte]

for creative writing class we had to draft a text whilst on a tram to be inspired and my friend and i Both Independently took that opportunity to write a homoerotic piece, great

[laelior]

The ride back from Rift Station is eerily silent.

Liara sits near the back, contemplating the hands folded in her lap. She’s earned the numbness that radiates from her.

Shepard might as well be a statue at the front of the tram, her back ramrod straight and her shotgun slung across her lap, one hand resting on the stock. She keeps a quiet vigil, her eyes continually scanning the track ahead of them for signs of danger. Kaidan hasn’t seen her move once since they’d boarded the tram, in a stark departure from her typical restless energy. He puts it down to deference for Liara’s grief and the unnerving encounter with the rachni.

Kaidan is somewhere in the middle, pacing from side to side while keeping an eye on both Liara and the peripheral sight lines as the tram hurtles along back toward the central station.

The tram lurches around a bend, and the statue at the front of the tram winces. It's subtle, as is the way she shifts her left shoulder. Someone else might not have caught it. But Kaidan does.

He sighs and makes his way to the front of the tram to kneel down in front of her, looking her over critically for the source of her wince.

“Alright, show me where it is,” he says, quietly so as not to disturb Liara.

“Where what is?” She barely looks at him, eyes flicking down to him before resuming their scan of the horizon ahead.

“Whatever injury you’re trying to power through. Let me take a look at it."

“It’s fine. I’m fine. Go check on T’soni, she could probably use it.” She waves her hand, shoeing him away like she would a fly, but Kaidan is having none of it.  Not today. Not after all they’ve been through.

“Liara’s in shock. She needs time to process what happened, not a medi-gel patch. Now quit being stubborn and show me.” He stares her down, unwilling to concede this battle of wills to her and her mulish pride. Before she can protest, he takes the shotgun from her lap and places it on the floor–easily within reach for someone with a normal range of motion. Her nostrils flare in annoyance but she finally meets his gaze.

“For fuck’s sake, Alenko,” she snaps quietly. She moves her left arm away from her side and Kaidan sucks in a breath. There, the plates of her Onyx armor have blackened and cracked, leaving a fist-sized dent right over her ribs.

Carefully, he picks at a piece of ablative ceramic and it flakes away in his hand like so much tissue. The undersuit is tattered, showing the bruised expanses of her skin underneath and two bony knobs sitting close to the surface. “How…?

“One of the commandos. Hit me with a warp and shotgun blast right after.” Her accompanying shrug is not effortless. “Maybe shorted out the medi-gel delivery system, too,” she concedes with a quiet grunt.

He pulls a spare medi-gel pack from his own armor and breaks it open, gingerly applying the clear, viscous substance directly to her skin. His field medic training had never specifically advised this particular method of applying medi-gel, but there had been a number of edge cases that training had failed to cover. She hisses when he presses just a little too hard.

“Sorry,” he murmurs reflexively. He peels off his gauntlet for a gentler touch and sets it next to her shotgun. The medi-gel is cold on his fingers, a sharp contrast to the heat of her skin under his touch.

“These look broken, Shepard.” He hovers two fingers just over her fifth and sixth ribs, careful not to touch.

“I’ve had worse.” It takes all of Kaidan’s self-control not to grind his forehead into his palm.

“The moment we get back to Port Hanshan, you’re going to see Chakwas,” he says flatly. It is not a request. 

“Are you giving me orders now, Lieutenant?” There’s a cold edge to her voice and a look of hard steel in her eyes. Another time, that would have made him back off. But now…now, he meets her hard stare with one of his own.

“I don’t have to. Chakwas can still countermand you on medical matters.” She glares down at him, using that look he’s seen a hundred times now to bend others to her will. But he refuses to break under the weight of it.

And then she does the last thing he expects.

One side of her mouth turns up in a dry, lopsided smile.

Kaidan quickly drops his eyes, feeling a flush start to creep up his neck, and finishes applying the medi-gel. He fumbles to get his armored glove back on once he’s done. He resumes his place in the middle of the tram, but somehow he just knows she’s still smiling that little smile of hers.

When the tram finally slows to a stop at the central station, he’s still not sure who won that round.

[feroluce]

Lucid Dreamer (1/2)

part 2

Gepard notices that it's been. Quiet lately. Like weirdly quiet. TOO quiet. He hasn't seen Sampo Koski in almost a week, which is about the longest he's ever been absent. And he is NOT worried. He's not! So what if they've been getting along more lately! So what if Gepard sometimes looks for him in his favorite hiding places! So what if he's been dreaming about blue hair and green eyes! It's nothing!!

But they're….strange, these dreams. Gepard doesn't usually remember what he's dreamt. It's out of his mind seconds within waking up. But these stick with him, they won't leave him be, they feel different somehow.

He dreams of Sampo bringing food to the frontlines and eating breakfast in his tent with him. Sampo always sneaks him extras. He dreams of chasing Sampo through the alleyways, Sampo sometimes letting himself be caught, Gepard sometimes catching him, and trying to ignore how it feels more like a game now more than anything else. He even dreams that Sampo tags along with him on one of his few civilian days. Sampo runs errands with him, prattles about inane bullshit while Gepard picks out groceries for the week, drags Gepard into some bakery he's never been to but he thinks Serval mentioned once.

And sometimes, it feels so close to reality, that Gepard half expects to see Sampo, shamelessly swaggering into the frontlines with all the guards' breakfast like his wanted poster wasn't only recently taken off the walls of Belobog. He's disappointed when it's always someone else instead. He tells himself his disappointment is ridiculous and if Sampo wants to go prowl around the Snow Plains or wherever he is, then fine. It's not any of his business.

…But it IS his job to investigate any unusual criminal activity relating to the frontlines. And the frontlines are Sampo's usual haunting grounds, and this is unusual activity, and Sampo IS technically a criminal, so it is absolutely part of his duty to look into this - is what Gepard tells himself the entire tram ride down into the Underground.

Natasha tells him he's gone, and Gepard has to steel himself. He knew Sampo made enemies wherever he went, there are a lot of people who would love his head on a platter, but he didn't think-

Natasha corrects him that she means literally gone. As in off-planet. Sampo always leaves her a note before he goes anywhere, so she knows not to expect any supply runs from him. He should be back in exactly two weeks. Thank the Preservation.

Gepard goes back home. He waits.

The uneasiness doesn't leave him.

"Where did you go?" Sampo stops dead in the middle of some story about Seele, and how you'd think someone with as blunt a mouth as her wouldn't have so much trouble asking a woman out, even if that woman IS the Supreme Guardian, and stares at him. He nearly fumbles his cigarette.

"Ahaha, what do you mean, I'm right here?" Sampo smiles at him the same way he always does. Gepard has no idea why he asked. It just popped out. He can never tell when Sampo is lying, anyway.

"I don't know. I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time." Gepard idly mouths at his own cigarette. He almost never smokes, but he wants to ration their stocks of Blizzard Immunity, and it helps with the cold. It's seemed colder lately, for some reason.

Gepard flicks his lighter once, twice, sighs at the third time because a metal prosthetic and thick gloves make the damn things so difficult. Sampo reaches over and wordlessly kisses the end of his cigarette to Gepard's, lighting it. "Thank you."

Nothing happens for almost a full 30 seconds. Something churns behind Gepard's ribcage. Because Sampo never leaves a "thank you" hanging. This is the part where he gives his spiel about how helpful and kind he is and Gepard either brings up how long his rap sheet was before Bronya helped clear his name, or just stares deadpan because seeing Sampo squirm is weirdly satisfying.

"…I'll be back in one more week."

Gepard jolts awake in his cot, mouth dry and eyes bleary.

The hell.

The next dream he has, Sampo looks tired. Sometimes he seems normal. Sometimes he says strange things, like how he wishes he'd gone to some restaurant in Belobog. Ate his favorite food more recently. Brought something with him. Gepard asks why he can't do that now. Where would he bring something? Sampo only shrugs. His rebuttals have less energy.

Gepard doesn't know if he wants to dream more, or less.

He ticks down the days on his calendar. Natasha hasn't told him any different. She promised she would if she got any kind of message. Sampo returns tomorrow, from whatever vacation or seedy business dealings he's been off having. He is not excited about it. He is not looking forward to it. He's not!!

Gepard falls asleep late that night, unable to settle. He dreams again.

He's alone. There are tons of people everywhere, the frontlines are always crowded. But he's alone. They all pass right by him as though he were a ghost. Gepard starts to walk before he realizes his feet are even moving.

He checks the trashcans in the dead end alley. He checks the supply crates that someone always stacks too high because they don't feel like finding more space for them. He pauses to check the soldiers that march past him, watching their footprints in the snow.

He finally finds Sampo on the rooftop along the northernmost wall, the one that looks out over the plains, towards Everwinter Hill, towards where the Stellaron had once been kept. With a full moon and an entire land of white snow, Gepard can almost see clear out to the horizon.

"Found you." Sampo stiffens, and Gepard is almost prepared for him to sprint off the roof. He doesn't. But he doesn't relax either. Gepard sits down next to him and stares out at the wastelands.

"…I fucked up." It wasn't what Gepard had been expecting. Sampo never 'fucks up,' Sampo just gets into incidents that are entirely, supposedly, not his fault and that he just happens to always be within the vicinity of.

"What did you do now?" It must be really bad if Sampo is coming to the Silvermanes for protection.

Instead, Sampo ignores his question completely. "See out over there? Right on the other side of that mountain. There's a safe house that way. It's hidden under a lot of snow and dead trees, but it's there. And in that safe house is a box full of letters. I need you to deliver those letters for me."

Gepard's brow furrows. It's a weird favor to ask. Sampo would never tell anyone where his hidden safehouses were. It defeated the whole purpose of a hidden safe house.

Something is wrong, something is really really wrong.

Gepard turns back to look at him again and startles, all of his questions dying in his throat, because the entire left side of Sampo's head is suddenly matted down, dark and sticky, his skin is dyed red red red-

"In three more months, there's gonna be something big happening." Gepard grabs Sampo's hand and it feels slick and warm against his palm. "I won't be here. So I need you to do my end of things for me." Gepard tries to keep hold, but something is fading, something is slowing, the sun is coming up but the colors are all wrong, everything feels like encroaching fog, Sampo's hand slides right through his. "I was gonna come back with my mask to finish setting the stage, but…" Gepard makes a frantic grab for Sampo's wrist, the air twists, he comes back empty-handed. "They have you. And you're the Iron Wall of Belobog. So it'll be ok."

Gepard finally manages to find his grip, snatches the front of Sampo's dark wet jacket and yanks him forward to hold onto him, and this close up, he can see it better, his colors are bleaching out, leaking outside the lines as if Sampo will become part of the background, as if he's fading into the strange fog that's been closing in on them. His fingers are already starting to feel empty again.

"Wake up."

Gepard jolts awake, uncurls his hands from where they're fisted in the blanket, scrubs the dampness off his face. Breathes. Breathes. Breathes. Today is supposed to be the day.

He throws on his civilian clothes, and he goes down to the shipyard the IPC had built. He finds a spot where he can see every person that returns to Belobog, and he waits.

And he waits and he waits and he waits.

No one he recognizes appears.

[goth-pod]

Goth-Pod Ep 5: Gotham Troubles

Welcome Back! Listening to you send ins, Juda Boone talks about things by Gothamites, for Gothamites!

[goth-pod is a fictional in-universe podcast based on the DC comics universe. Juda Boone is an original fictional character, not based on any real person or known comic book character.]

Transcript under the cut

Hello everyone and welcome to Goth-Pods special trials and troubles episode! I’m an indie theater’s take on the ghost of Christmas Present- and your host, Juda Boone. 

We're looking at your submitted trademark Gotham problems. So without my usual ramblings, lets get to business

—

For our first submission username Trekkle brought up a good debate: Subway vs Bus: The Subway is safer, since buses can get hit during rogue attacks, but if you're stuck underground there's a chance of a killer croc attack and also the birds ride the roof. 

Fantastic points, Trekkle! Thank you for writing in. I don't know exactly what you mean by the birds riding the roof, though. Do you mean Robin? Because I have been on the tram while a fight was happening between Robin and The Penguin on top. Of course, I missed most of it because I had my headphones in. Noise cancellation has its pros and cons in Gotham.  

There’s no set answer on this one, I don’t think. You kind of have to pay attention to what Rouges are active the way you pay attention to the weather. Cloudy with a 70% chance of a Riddler scheme? Maybe take the Buses, since they’re not connected to a maze-like system like  the subways are. But maybe it's sweater weather with a possible freeze-over because Victor Fries broke out two nights ago and is due for a showy return. Then an underground bunker with cushy seats doesn’t sound too bad.

—

From Clexx we have: I'm new to Gotham (full ride scholarship, thank you Mr. Wayne): Why does everyone hate Superman? I tried to get answers from a friend and they called Superman a Homewrecker. Is there an infidelity scandal around Superman I don’t know about??

Oh wow. First of all, congratulations on the scholarship! I'm assuming you're attending Gotham U? Just be sure you get a proper Rogue-proof gas mask. Yes there is a difference. It’ll probably be covered in your Orientation though, so onto the main question. 

To the Homewrecker comment.. oh I didn’t think it’d come to this. Okay, there's this thing in Gotham. Clexx, have you ever heard of Bruceman? Ask your friend about it, they’ll probably love to explain more. Basically it is a Real-Person based Ship on Gotham’s two protectors, Bruce Wayne and Batman. One watching over the day, the other the night. 

This is another Topic that might take all episodes to explain, so to keep it short: People see Superman and Batman’s relationship- professional, platonic, romantic, or however they define it- as a threat to Bruceman, the number one Gotham Ship. Godspeed if you get between our beloved prettyboy himbo and our odd night-stalking cryptid. 

—

From Allison: My cousin is visiting and I want to show them why I stay in Gotham. Where can we go for 1) a low level rogue attack (for Bat sighting), and 2) where can we go for a Wayne sighting. (They think Dick Grayson is hotter then Brucie [eye-rolling emoji])

For the first one, I think any part of our public transport system will do, as we discussed before. The tricky part is knowing when it’s going to be low-level or if your cousin will be joining you in a shelter-in-place lockdown.

For a Wayne sighting, unfortunately it’s harder to say these days. Bruce Wayne has made several statements on how he’s spending less time at the company in order to focus on bonding with his new son, Jason. I hate to disappoint, but right now might not be the time for celebrity sight-seeing. Maybe take a day trip to Bludhaven! Your cousin might enjoy the chance to convince you instead. 

Thank you all for writing in and for joining us on this special episode! If we didn’t get to your submission, head over to our socials to see if we replied there. I’m Juda, you’re listening to Goth-Pod

Until then, Newcomers, visiting cousins, locals on the bus, Stay safe, Gotham.

[clydethesnake]

Icy Waters Vol. I

Chapter Six

Kiko feels a great sense of deja vu standing in front of the floor length mirror in her bedroom.   

While she’s not in the same slightly gritty and grimy environment, the dark blue cheongsam she is currently wearing is enough to bring back the memories of her first dinner on Air Temple Island. It was the first time she properly interacted with the eldest Beifong daughter after being arrested, though it also doubled as one of the worst nights she’s had in Republic City.  

Kiko turns in the mirror, I really need to get this thing adjusted, she cringes a little at how tight it is around her hips and chest. Or possibly I could get a new one altogether.  

Sighing at the fact that she has to go out tonight, she picks up her bag and does another once over in the mirror. The waterbender takes a deep breath, you can do this.  

The ferry to the docks takes a little longer than usual; the wind making the ride a little choppier.   

Kiko frustratedly fixes the loose baby hairs that are blowing aggressively in her face, the one night I go out with friends, it’s extremely windy. She huffs a little at the thought of having to take the tram to the other end of the city, the fair Lin invited her to being at the only other docks in Republic City. She can understand why; they are much bigger than the ones to get to Air Temple Island.  

Walking through the city to the tram station, Kiko sighs a little in relief at not feeling eyes boring into the back of her head. It’s a nice change from the usual uneasiness she feels when visiting the mainland. Maybe he’s given up?  

While the waterbender knows it’s just wishful thinking, she’s clinging onto the hope that she won’t have to go through finding a note again.   

She's suddenly remembering the sort-of-argument she had with Lin a few days ago. Shit, what if she’s still angry with me? I did kind of just leave.  

Kiko shakes the thoughts away from her head as she boards the tram to the Yue Bay Docks. It's rather busy tonight. She doesn’t normally catch this tram, as it is going the opposite direction to the Dragon Flats area and where she works. However, she does acknowledge that it must be busier due to the fair that is happening.   

The waterbender is unable to get a seat, due to the tram being densely occupied, so she opts to stand. Grabbing onto the hanging handle, she tries to keep herself upright against the people around her. I wish Kya was here.  

The thought only slips her mind, knowing that she is going to be seeing the other waterbender in only a short amount of time; Lin did end up inviting her to the fair a week prior. The only reason the two didn’t go there together is that Kiko is late, though she did manage to get off work earlier than usual. Boss isn’t very happy about that.  

It was arranged between them that Kya and Tenzin would leave when Kiko comes back, to give her time to get ready; have a shower and get changed into some nicer clothes. They would all meet her at the entrance at 7:30.  

Despite not particularly wanting to go out that night, Kiko can’t help but feel a little giddy as she sees the colourful lights come into view.   

She disembarks the tram with a lot of the passengers, seeing them pay the two yuans to enter the fair giddily; groups that are presumably families are what she sees the most, which makes her heart ache in a bittersweet way.  

Kiko spots Kya waving her hand towards her, a large smile on her face. Tenzin and Lin by her side. Her brother looks slightly disgruntled as Lin lets go of his arm that she was holding onto to also wave to Kiko. Poor guy.  

The waterbender reaches the group and hugs Kya happily, “They did a great job here,” She muses, looking up at the large ferris wheel towering above the group.   

“Didn’t they?” Kya links their arms, Lin coming to stand by Kiko’s side.   

The waterbender catches Lin’s eyes wander her body as they enter the fair, so her lips upturn into a small smile at the earthbender trying to be discreet.  

“Enjoying the view?” She teases Lin, enjoying the earthbender’s flustered expression.   

She revels in the woman’s embarrassed spluttering, before saving her, “I’m only kidding, Lin.” I wish I didn’t have to say that.  

Tenzin comes to her side with a concerned expression, “Is something wrong?” He must have not heard Kiko’s comment, and brings a hand to the earthbender’s forehead.   

Both Kiko and Kya snigger at Lin batting his hand away, “I’m fine.” She huffs.  

Oh, is she actually mad? Kiko feels a little guilty at making the woman uncomfortable, so she lays a hand on her forearm, disconnecting herself from Kya, and prompts her to make eye contact, “Hey, I didn’t mean it. Sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.”  

Lin’s eyes widen slightly, and she shakes her head, “You didn’t make me uncomfortable, I just- I wasn’t expecting it.”  

Kiko looks a little sceptical, but nods nonetheless and removes her hand.  

Almost immediately, another hand grabs at her wrist and tugs her, “Come on, you lot! We’re going on the ferris wheel!” Kya’s excited voice awakens her from her and Lin’s little bubble among the chaos and they all queue for the ferris wheel, Kya dragging Tenzin along with her other arm.   

They all get into one pod, Tenzin and Lin sitting opposite Kya and Kiko.   

“I hope you’re not afraid of heights!” Kya teases as they lift from the ground, watching Tenzin’s expression turn into one of panic.  

“I am!”  

“Come on, Tenzin. It’ll be fun!” Lin’s brightened up a bit, nudging him with her shoulder.  

“You’re an airbender, how are you afraid of heights?” Kiko laughs at the thought.   

“You fly on Oogie all the time, what’s the difference!?” Kya teases.  

“It’s just different! I trust Oogie, I don’t trust this massive metal death wheel!” Lin joins Kiko and Kya’s laughter.  

“I’m a metalbender, if something goes wrong, we’ll be fine.”  

Tenzin rolls his eyes, but catches a glimpse of the height we are currently gaining in the ferris wheel and lets out a little squeak, causing their laughter to only heighten. He attempts to move closer to the centre of the little pod they are in, but only makes the pod swing from side to side, which makes the airbender stiffen.   

“I’m- I’m just going to stay here, nice and comfortable.” He does his best to convince the three women that he is content staying hugging the centre pole of the pod, but his more than uneasy expression gives away his true feelings easily.   

Lin seems to take pity on him, “Don’t worry, we’re coming down now.” Despite her reassuring tone, she can’t quite keep the small chuckles out of her words.  

Tenzin stays like that until they reach the ground again.  

He is the first to scramble out of the pod and sighs heavily in relief as his feet touch the ground again.   

The other join him, and they all aimlessly wander around the fair.  

Kiko is starting to wish she had come here sooner. Kya has previously invited her to go to the fair together, but she’s always had an excuse, I have to work, I’m looking after someone tonight.  

But she knows, as she admires the earthbender in her baggy black slacks and unbuttoned olive shirt over her usual white tank top, that she only went because she asked. I mean, how could I say no?   

Kiko can admit to herself that the woman looks particularly beautiful like this; under the warm hues of the colourful lights, surrounded by people she likes and, most of all, with a large, cheerful smile adorning her face. It's not something the world gets to see often, and Kiko feels slightly honoured to be able to witness it firsthand tonight. The only time she’s ever seen this kind of happiness on her face is a few nights ago; when it was just the two of them on the beach, encased in their own little world.   

Kiko smiles at the memory as they walk to the next thing Kya is eager to do; apple bobbing.  

“Seriously, Kya?” Tenzin frowns.  

“Stop being so boring, Tenzin! It’ll be fun!” Kya begins tying her hair up completely.  

Kiko is glad to have her hair in her normal braid that is already out of the way, the only problem being her normal loose hair framing her face. Deciding to let loose a little, she shrugs.   

“That’s the spirit!” Kya links their arms again and pays for the two of them.  

“You don’t have to do that.”   

“Do what?” Kya asks innocently.  

Kiko narrows her eyes, “Don’t give me that look, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I can pay for myself.”  

“I know you can, but I wanted to pay for you.”  

Kiko sighs, knowing that her best friend isn’t going to back down and listens to the instructions given by the person running the stand. She feels a presence next to her, realising that it’s Lin.  

“You don’t seem like the type to do something like this.” She teases the earthbender.  

Lin lets out a huff of a laugh, “I’m not, normally. But Tenzin is being grumpy.”  

Kiko snickers, looking at the dejected boy standing off to the side, “Completely understandable.”  

The three of them face off in apple bobbing for the next five minutes. Kya is clearly very skilled in doing this, Kiko knows that she’s taken Su here nearly every year since Lin has been working or just not wanting to participate in this game. However, the young girl has now decided that she is far too old to be attending fairs with her embarrassing older sister and her friend.  

Kya wins by a long shot, with Lin coming in second and Kiko coming in last. This is all I will hear about for months, I just know it.  

Kya’s signature smug grin makes its way onto her face, with Kiko’s first reaction to it to be to grimace, “Don’t even say it.”  

“Say what? I wasn’t going to say anything.” She takes the hairband out of her long hair and flips it over her shoulder.  

They all walk back to Tenzin, “Okay, sure.” Kiko responds, voice laced thick with sarcasm.  

Tenzin's grumpy expression lightens up a little as Lin joins his side once again, “You three had your fun?” He snickers at the look of Lin’s wet fringe.  

The earthbender grumbles a little and wrings out the water in her hair. Before she can do anymore, Kiko reaches out and waterbends the water out of her hair.  

Lin lets out a little, thanks , before Kya intertwines her and Kiko’s arms once again.  

“Any of you hungry?” The older waterbender asks.  

“I’m a little hungry.” Tenzin answers his sister, before turning to Lin and asking her the exact same question.  

Lin nods, “I could have some food.”  

“Me too.”  

They all agree on one of the pop-up stands that are situated along a large amount of picnic tables right in the centre of the fair. There is live music playing on the stage they have set up, and there are families and couples alike eating, dancing and singing. It's a brilliant atmosphere. Kiko doesn’t think she’s been anywhere like this in a long, long time.  

She relaxes and gets more comfortable where she’s sitting, admiring the colourful lights, the rides scattered around and taps her foot to the music. It's a catchy tune; upbeat and cheerful, reflecting the joyous atmosphere well. This must be the most at ease she has been on the mainland in a good while now, but being surrounded by world class benders will do that.  

Their group of four find a mostly empty picnic table that has enough seats for all of them, and they agree that Tenzin and Lin will go and order for everyone. It's a place that does mainly mixed cuisine, so Kiko decides to order roast duck and also some fire flakes, because she doesn’t have them often. The Avatar’s family only ever has meat when Sokka or the Beifongs come for dinner.  

Kya and Kiko are sitting next to each other, observing the pair who have gone to order the food.  

“They have a weird dynamic.” Kiko points out, noticing Tenzin trying to discreetly signal to Lin that he wants to hold her hand.  

Kya nods, “They sure do. Their best friends but my poor brother has been hopelessly in love with her for years- she’s completely oblivious.”  

“Yeah, that or she just isn’t interested.” Kiko almost mutters, watching Tenzin order.  

Kya snickers a little, nudging the younger girl with her elbow, “Seems like she’s more interested in you nowadays.”  

“What?”  

“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed? She’s been by your side pretty much the whole night. Not to mention the colour she goes when you tease her.” Kiko shrugs a little, but Kya only continues, “I mean, you’ve slept in the same bed twice!”  

“That didn’t mean anything.”  

“Oh, but it did to Lin.” Kya’s smile drops a little, and she leans closer to her best friend to keep her voice down, “Just- don’t lead her on, okay? I know what you’re like sometimes; completely oblivious, just like her.” She gestures to the woman in question, “If you don’t like her, then back off a little.”  

Kiko furrows her eyebrows and frowns, “I would never lead her on, Kya. I value her as a friend, and if she wants more than that then I suppose I would think about it.” She sighs, “Besides, even if I was interested in her, I don’t think it would work out.”  

“What? Why?”  

Kiko scoffs, “Look at your brother; he’s completely head over heels. She deserves someone like the Avatar’s son, not some abandoned street rat.”  

Kya rolls her eyes, “Stop being so self-pitying. She can make up her own mind about who she deserves.”  

The younger waterbender leans back from Kya a little, noticing the others coming back with their food and drinks, “Need some help there?” She raises an eyebrow at the struggling airbender.  

He shakes his head adamantly, talk about trying to show off.  

She thanks him despite herself after taking her food from his full arms and digs in, not realising how hungry she was until the food is in front of her. While it’s not the best food, it’s satisfying in a way that junk food is satisfying when you’re craving it.  

Kya sips on her five-flavour soup happily, and Tenzin takes a bite out of his vegetable dumplings. Interestingly, Lin has ordered the same as her, minus the fire flakes.  

“Not a fan of spice, Beifong?” Kiko questions the woman opposite, holding out her fire flakes for her to help herself.  

She shakes her head, “I’d rather keep my tastebuds.”  

The waterbender snorts, and just as she’s about to take them back, Kya takes a fistful, “If you’re offering.” She shoves them in her mouth and chews obnoxiously loud to be provocative.  

“Very ladylike.” Kiko now cradles her half a packet of fire flakes to her chest as she shakes her head disappointingly at her best friend.  

“I know, I’m such a lady?” She crosses her legs and sticks her nose up high.  

Tenzin decides to join the conversation, “In all my years of knowing you, I've never seen you act ‘lady like’.”  

“But I’m your older sister, you’ve known me all your life.”  

“Exactly.”  

---  

All four of them decide to make their way back to Air Temple Island at around one am. Lin is sleeping on the Island tonight as her apartment is on the complete other end of the city, and everyone is slightly on edge due to Kiko’s stalker now knowing where she lives.  

The ferry ride back is interesting; the mix of the wind and the fact that all of them but Tenzin are a little tipsy makes it slightly jarring. However, they dock at the island in no time.  

Kiko thanks the spirits that the street lamps are on, which leave a warm orange hue to settle along the path. The sight of the bushes and trees casting shadows makes the younger waterbender slightly uncomfortable, reminding her of when she was walking home that one night.  

However, the comforting weight of Kya’s arm looped through hers gives her a sense of ease as the reach the courtyard, where the fear gripping her heart loosens ever so slightly.  

The three girls say their goodnights to Tenzin, who looks sort of solemn as he makes his way to the boys' dormitories.  

Kiko breathes out a little sigh of relief; feeling a little more comfortable now that the judgemental airbender has left her sight. While she doesn’t hate Tenzin, she knows that he is not her biggest fan. Whether that is because of her growing friendship with Lin or the fact that she had to steal to live in the past, she doesn’t know.  

Kya also breathes out a little sigh as her brother leaves, “Is it just me, or was he being more miserable than usual?”  

Kiko nods and even Lin agrees with her words, “He was. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” She furrows her eyebrows, looking a little dejected.  

Kiko places a hand on her forearm, “I’m sure it has nothing to do with you. He's probably just... working out his own issues.”  

Lin nods, just as Kya decides to call it a night. She brings both women into a tight hug, curtsey of her tipsy mind, and stumbles a little towards the women’s dormitories.  

Kiko's face lights up a little, “Hey, I just remembered I never gave you that jacket back.”  

Lin's eyes widen as she nods again, “Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that.”  

The waterbender turns and gestures for her to follow, “Come with me, I’ll give it to you now so that I don’t forget in the morning.”  

They make it to her room, where Kiko begins digging for Lin’s jacket through her wardrobe, “It must be in here somewhere...” She reaches her hand further and spots it, pulling it out of the slightly messy wardrobe.  

She turns to see Lin admiring her room. Kiko can understand why; her room is anything but minimalist, “You have so much music.” She points to the stacks of vinyl in the corner, her original box for them overflowing.  

Kiko smiles, folding the jacket over her arm, “I’ve always loved music.”  

Lin lets out a little huff-like laugh, “I can see that.” She turns to face Kiko, noticing her jacket folded over her arm.  

Kiko holds it out, “I washed it for you.”  

The earthbender takes it and nods, “That’s very thoughtful.”  

She puts it on over her casual outfit, the two staying silent for a few moments more. They don’t break eye contact for the meantime, as Lin adjusts the cuffs of her unbuttoned olive-green shirt, the silky material straining over her muscles, making the waterbender slightly flustered. What a sight... she’s ripped.  

Lin is the first to speak, “Well, thanks for my jacket back.”  

“You’re- you’re welcome.” Kiko barely breathes out.  

An almost coy grin emerges on Lin’s face, something rather uncharacteristic, “Now you’re the one ogling at me.”  

Kiko's jaw drops in shock at the earthbender’s words and she can’t help but laugh out loud, eyes following Lin’s figure to her bedroom door, “Don’t get too cocky now.”  

“I wouldn’t dare.”  

Kiko shakes her head amusedly, smiling fondly at the shorter woman, “Night, Lin.” She can’t help but fill her voice with an abundance of affection.  

They make eye contact again briefly, “Goodnight, Kiko.” She shuts the door behind her.  

Kiko flops down on her hard mattress, her hand coming to cover up her eyes. Oh spirits, I have to be careful. 

[cyrsed]

i've been thinking about how (my) society treats cats lately and it's so weird to think about. like, @houzeheld went to an event recently and when the group of hosts was asked whether they prefer cats or dogs, they all had dogs, and one was even like "i can't stand cats". like, imagine if i said "i can't stand dogs" if someone asked me if i prefer cats or dogs lol.

the way people feel comfortable talking about cats and how much they don't like them would get you crucified if you talked about dogs that way. if i talked about how dogs are smelly and gross and i have to wash my hands after touching them (even tho i do like dogs very much lol but many of em are indeed smelly and gross), or, heaven forbid, someone says they "can't stand dogs", people would look at them like they're a monster.

and then conversely people are so comfortable talking about how cats are assholes, they're not affectionate, they don't love you, they couldn't care less if you're not around, or saying how they've never met a cat who liked them, or they've been around a cat that "hated" them for "no reason" (which, imo, says more about you than the cat; either you're misinterpreting their body language as uninterested/unfriendly bc you're expecting them to act like dogs, or you're doing something that's crossing a boundary of theirs and they're telling you to quit it).

earlier this month when i flew up to the new house w sailor, my mom and i were in the airport riding the lil tram thing and the lady next to us saw the pet carrier and excitedly asked if it was a little dog, and when i told her it's a cat, she just went "... oh. :|" and turned away lol like imagine if i asked someone if they had a cat in their carrier and when they told me their beloved pet was actually a dog i made a disgusted face and stopped talking to them gsjdflksdjlkf like that interaction was just funny to me but it's also really bizarre behavior when you think about how normalized it is.

i've maintained the theory that most people just have no idea how to interpret cat body language, and that most people try to apply dog body language to cats and then misinterpret cats as being aloof and/or unfriendly. my mom told me about how when she and my grandma arrived back at my mom's place from the airport a while back my mom said "the cats are so excited i'm back :)" and my grandma was very sarcastic about it bc she didn't think they seemed excited at all (probably bc they weren't running straight up to my mom and jumping on her like a dog might).

dogs have literally been bred to love us, and then held up as the ideal dynamic of the 'owner'/'pet' relationship. it's very hierarchical in a way that i think makes people entitled. i really think people (mostly unconsciously) believe that they deserve to be worshipped by their pet, and, maybe more importantly, that their pet shouldn't have the right to say "no" to them. that they should never have to /ask/ their pet something

that's just a problem in general, that we don't respect the boundaries of animals, but i was thinking about it yesterday cause i went up to the loft bc cowboy and sailor were up there and i wanted to take a video of them being pet bc they have such different affection styles (receiving and giving) and it's kinda funny. cowboy is more reserved and sailor is just like, getting lost in the sauce immediately.

cowboy's also just not as big a fan of being pet if he's not in a Being Pet Mood. he does like it in small doses, but he's sensitive and needs his space/gets overwhelmed quickly, so when i started petting him and went from his head to his side, he turned and gave my arm a light bite to tell me he didn't want me to touch his side. so i just moved on to sailor and pet her instead bc she loves being scritched/pet/patted/shaken/wiggled etc

n i was thinking about how people would probably interpret an interaction like that with cowboy as like, an inversion of the natural hierarchy on a base level, but would probably verbalize that as him not being friendly, or not being loving. i.e. i feed him, care for him, and love him, and yet he doesn't want to be pet by me?? he doesn't always want to be around me? what am i, whipped by my cat??

the thing is that ig i don't see myself as a pet "owner" (w all the hierarchical implications), per se, in moments like that. i'm approaching cowboy as one mammal of the household to another and communicating with him what i want (to pet his soft furry belly), and then letting him answer that in his own way, on his own terms, understanding that he has the right to say no (bite arm) bc i'm not owed anything from him. we're just two mammals who live together. we negotiate and communicate with each other every day, just bc he doesn't communicate the same way as a dog does, and/or doesn't reward me with constant access to his body/obsequious subservience doesn't make him unfriendly or un-loving. (also just to be clear: dogs and cats behave/communicate in all different ways, so there are plenty of friendly cats/aloof dogs, and people also misinterpret dog body language quite a bit too, i think there's just a general issue with people not understanding or respecting animals)

[postoctobrist]

My high school had this one 'cool teacher'. She had short hair and wore interesting suits and was hip with the youth. She had a broadly progressive air, but occasionally said things I couldn't quite figure out. I suppose I thought I just wasn't smart enough to understand. I graduated and moved away - though I did once see her and her partner in my new neighbourhood, riding a tram.

Years later, I thought back on all that, and realised how much of what she'd said had a TERF-y SWERF-y vibe to it. I tried looking her up, but I couldn't find any traces of her career - she barely even appeared in school records, aside from appearing in a group photo. Honestly, it took me a while to even remember her name. It did eventually come back to me, though, and I managed to find out who she was.

She was the partner and collaborator of Sheila Jeffreys. What little web presence she does have is all transphobic texts. I felt absolutely sick when I realised. It still gets me heated thinking about it.

Anyhow, that's my story. I've told bits of it before, here and there, but I felt that if I shared it here, your readers would understand it.

that’s so sad

[stitchlingbelle]

Watching Halo, Episode 2

Episode 2

Ok kids, I binge-watched this entire show and took THIRTEEN PAGES of handwritten notes so I didn’t forget to talk about anything that caught me! So let’s be about it.

First off, may I say how much I appreciate that John is not a good-looking guy? He’s just a dude (the other Spartans likewise) and that sells the whole thing to me more than if they were all pretty. (Granted, I also thought Hiddleston and the cucumber guy were not pretty, so YMMV.)

Speaking of the other Spartans, how many are there? “Silver Team��� implies the existence of a “Gold Team”, at the very least. And we open with a flashback to at least one getting away, or trying to—is he the only one to try, or to make it out? John apparently was supposed to go with him, or so Soren thought. He doesn’t (obviously), but he does give Soren a small headstart. (I can only assume that John/Soren is one of the top tags on AO3, this is Serious Emotional Bond stuff.) Why is Soren able to want out? Glad John didn’t shoot him.

In the present, Halsey is plotting something, because of course she is. The Spartans are trying to track John down, seemingly under some protest over whether he actually needs to be tracked down. I pegged Kai as the smartest Spartan last episode, and I’m getting confirmed in that opinion now. She questions and she thinks. Whether this is going to serve John’s arc or the UNSC, I don’t know yet.

Here we are with Kwan and Master Chief, with Kwan asking the real questions, which is a talent of hers. May I take a quick aside to point out that asteroids do not, in fact, float around that close to each other? It’s a very fun SF trope, though. Oh, so THIS is why the place is called “Rubble”. Clever. That is a seriously cool asteroid city design. YAY for someone speaking Hungarian! This show excels at showing that more than people from Iowa made it off the planet. (I appreciate all the accents to this end, as well.)

Uh, the armor’s a bit conspicuous, Chief, shoulda left that on the ship. Wow, they found Soren fast. (Has Kwan ever been off-planet before? She’s looking a little overwhelmed. Which is fair, shit is A Lot right now.) I laughed at the “mind the gap” reference. The tram thing is pure Universal Studios Ride bait.

I have a lot of feelings about Kessler and Laera, in order:

Cute kid and happy family? Oh shit they are doomed.

Otoh, Laera’s pretty glammed up, maybe she’s the sell-them-out type

Pale hair, intense eyes, Covenant destroyed her planet? Is she related to Makee?

Cute little stamp, this kid is DEFINITELY doomed

…unless they get to tragically lose Soren, instead? I TRUST NOTHING HERE

“Soren speaks of you often.” “Not that often,” Soren says flatly to the man he left behind. You talk about him constantly because you two were deeply in love, I’m calling it.

Makee is planning a mission to get the magical alien tech, full of references I would absolutely get if I were a gamer and which I instead absolutely don’t. As a fan of several long-running scifi series in an era when a lot of them are retreading ground (some brilliantly, some not), it’s novel, annoying, and deeply refreshing all at once to have to discover things as the characters do. I am still super obsessed with Makee’s costume design, and the aliens’ appearance is very well-done. They clearly put a lot of effort into making them stand up.

The UNSC brass are politicking and plotting, as the brass in any universe does, and I’m sorry, AI and cloning are never, ever good ideas in settings like this. I feel for Miranda getting constantly shut out, etc. I do wonder what the other Spartans want. Like, what are their goals? What do they think of the different people ordering them around?

Back on Rubble, Soren’s getting churros and saying “I know a guy,” which of course he does. Reth was… a choice. Ngl, this whole bit was deeply uncomfortable for me. We did get some good intel on the object and the Covenant. I absolutely appreciate Soren calling out explicitly the Mommy Dearest-ness of Halsey, she has predator vibes you can see from space. I do wish we knew more about the (apparently very few?) prisoners the Covenant takes and why and how they pick them. YIKES YIKES YIKES what did that thing just do? And who else can activate it?

And there goes John, leaving Kwan behind (so she can tragically die alongside the tragedy-bait kid??) and returning to Halsey and her creepiness. Meanwhile, Makee gets a gratuitous nude scene, which on one hand had me rolling my eyes and on the other had me glued to every detail of the construction design of that costume. So thanks, I guess, director dude.

Credits roll… wait, what do you mean, executive produced by Steven Spielberg???

[poohnotpiku]

The Tram

If one has visited the city of Kolkata aka city of joy, one wouldn’t have missed It. If one would ask around about touristy things to do, perhaps one of the tops ones from the list would be It. It is part, or rather soul, of Kolkata,  since years. The people of Kolkata might have forgotten this heritage, but It still is a chapter, written in golden letters, in the history of the city of joy. It is something we Kolkatans are proud of, yet we ignore. It is something we hate to love. It is The Tram.

In the fast pacing world of superfast metro-trains, in the world of always running late people, It has no value. It is not being able to keep up with the rat-race, we all are busy in. Perhaps, It is out of place in this world, in this era. But still It is breathing away. It is happy to host the tourists from out of town, full of excitement and awe. It is satisfied carrying the slow moving old people, who have no where to rush to. It smiles with the smiles of the school children riding it, while energetically going to schools in the morning and returning home in the afternoon, tired and lazy. It enjoys listening into the gossip by  groups of middle-aged ladies, either returning from shopping or escorting their school-going children. It loves hearing the sound of ruffling tickets that the conductor makes while passing around to collect fares.

With a pensive mood, It also notices a solo rider, sitting right on the back seat, looking out of It’s wide windows, with drops of tears rolling down. It can feel her pain without even knowing the cause. It watches sad faces of the old people, who have been left behind by their children moving abroad to shinier horizons. It looks sadly at the poor man counting his coins to pay the fare to the conductor. It can feel the responsibility on the shoulders of the hawkers, boarding It, to sell their wares. It feels the same hunger as the beggar on-board, asking around for alms. It can hear the sadness in the voice of the street children singing joyful songs to entertain the passengers and may be earn some money to feed the hungry souls back home.

It feels everything…. from sadness to happiness, from loneliness to entertainment, from smiles to tears, from laughter to silent groans, from hunger to stomach full of gossips etc. But does anyone feel for It? May be it was too much of an ask!

She boarded It and looked around with awe. She touched its old wooden benches, the same ones from eons. She sat on a window-seat and felt the electrical veins on top of the Tram’s head, powering It up for the journey. She could feel how old It was getting with each passing year, walking the roads like an old woman with crooked back and aching knees. Another tram passed by them on the parallel track. It felt like as if two sisters were exchanging news when met coincidentally on the road. She could feel the vibrations of emotions echoing from It’s walls. When asked by the conductor about her destination, She couldn’t answer because deep within her She knew that She will be sitting there till the last stoppage. She will be with It as long as It wants. She will be a true friend to this friend of all…to Her Tram…

----

[spiderh0rse]

took a short break from Freeman's Mind to go and watch Mind of Ryan, and in short order, Arlen's Mind. Decided to take notes on these too, while I was at it, thanks in large part to @prinnamon having done the same! This is all of my notes on Mind of Ryan, Arlen's will be out in short enough order.

e1

singing :> casually in a public location, so he probably doesn't care if he's heard doing so

his usual parking lot isn't often crowded

sandwich... Steal it, Ryan. You'll need the energy in the coming days.

didn't sleep well. NO ONE in mindverse sleeps well.

his usual lot is usually Empty.

enjoys the idea of pissing people off with his parking location

almost forgot to lock his car

wears his lab coat all the time. He thinks it's cool, it's cozy, I get it.

used to live in Michigan. Power grid for his town tanked by a raccoon once

laughs at someone menaced by his car alarm

unbothered by power issues

likes soda. Or at least isn't unhappy with it

laughs off someone overreacting to a minor inconvenience

shares a living space with Barney. Probably lives on-site, then? Barney's tram in to work goes from the dorms to his station. The car is weird, then, unless theres no tram to Ryan's usual spot.

Barney sleeps heavily or simply was exhausted. I like that this explains his being late, a bit.

opens double doors dramatically

bit of a flat affect. My autism senses are tingling

his college wasn't air conditioned :( Black Mesa is, though!

having his eyes out would Suck

very sarcastic

at least two miles above AnMat, he claims. Very interesting, as you can easily see the sky on your way into AnMat in Half Life. Understandable exaggeration.

unwilling to pay for a helicopter ride out to Black Mesa. The car ride had to be MISERABLE.

Barney likes safety!

Colleague.

laughs nervously when people are annoyed in his general area

clapping and shouting at Barney usually wakes him up

vaults over a desk for the purpose of politely disposing of his trash. unbothered by someone admonishing him. vaults back out

"I'm not in a rush" your Tram is in Eight Minutes

e2

cards... in the dark. silly.

yeah why IS that guard wearing an HEV suit

works in Sector G, as a robotics engineer

missed his train :(

thinks himself to be the youngest scientist in the building. Despite knowing Barney, who considers Gordon a friend. Interesting!

LIKES DR GREEN. MAN WITH GOOD TASTE

will definitely be late. Usually isn't, but worries over what'll be done because he's late.

let the man have his break

thinks some rooms are just needlessly large

doesn't call the VOX the VOX

gets a tad rude when someone asks after something that has just been answered

even while openly panicking, doesn't emote too much vocally

not sure how to act in this situation but does try to get Out of the tram serving as a barrier between him and the bullsquid

snaps at someone shooting at the thing, for whatever reason

e3

just had cpr performed on him. If his chest hurts that's probably because his RIBS are BROKEN. Headache is likely the Head Injury That Knocked Him Out

unconcerned by the blood around him

gman sighting,, LEAVE RYAN ALONE

feels like he Should be panicking but ultimately Isn't.

hates roaches :( respects them but doesn't like them

ignores strange noise. Ryan would survive a horror movie

gman i promise you don't want to hire this guy (lying)

not jazzed at dusty/bloody vent but doesn't complain overmuch about the cleanliness

points out that the vents are cold. Makes sense, he was just out driving not too long ago, perceptually

smoke in the vents! Coughing fit at very little smoke!

seems uncurious about a pistol in the vents, and is pretty cheery about laying hands on it

"yessirre"

"hi rat :)"

focused on his labcoat getting dirty. I can commiserate. That's his favourite bit of clothing if he's always wearing it.

does startle easily, but doesn't linger on awful things

decent ability to climb

jokes about dangerous torrent of water being a waterslide and walks around it with very little hesitation

only sounds mildly stressed when he falls into it

doesn't like freezing water. L

end card!!!! :D original art!!!

e4

Makes an odd analogy about the building being alive

Overall unconcerned about a bunch of mutilated humanoids, other than thinking them unfriendly and to be avoided

Wants some manner of weapon. Gets hit in the face by a headcrab and bemoans the lack further

Continues nervous laughter. Would rather be hallucinating than actually be near a gargantuar.

Considers his "happy place" to be facts about the Tau cannon. Spits those facts out in an effort to ignore all the headcrab zombies

He works on the Tau cannon! Or does so often enough to be able to alter its functionality

Has his own lab? May simply share a lab space with others but consider it his

Ignores horror over a corpse in favour of the bulletproof vest right next to it. Also searches the body for a gun. Pragmatic.

Considers his luck poor

A tad sarcastic when he's able to be

Content to swing a crowbar around like a baseball bat

Emotes the most vocally he has all series when complaining about being in pain

Feels wrong to kill the zombies. Decides he won't.

Jumps a gap, barely clears it, and does that with no hesitation or comment.

Seems to be right handed in the official art. I'd be interested to see if there's a Mindverse character that's left handed.

e5

His flashlight is a shake-to-charge sort

Vocally distressed at seeing a barnacle eat someone

Despite that, jokes about the eaten man's death

His lab is in the biology department, but he remains uninterested in biology

Takes off the vest with no hesitation. Very decisive man.

Continues to laugh when barely avoiding death

Electrical issues are a common occurrence at Black Mesa

Unbothered by taking a Snickers bar off of a dead man

Thinks first of a pizza when hungry

Keeps taking head injuries.

Reconsiders his initial reaction to some Thing, and rephrases by running and yelling.

Has to catch his breath after running from it

e6

Had to live in a storage unit for a while. His his bed behind a stack of boxes. The unit proper was always miserably cold.

Hates the idea of beating the zombies to death, but thinks he could shoot them.

Doesn't want to leave an injured man behind. Accepts the logic presented to him, though.

Continues to avoid killing things when he can avoid doing so

Carries on ignoring any bodies unless he thinks they have something to offer him

Doesn't care overmuch about the aliens.

The alarm that goes off here, and throughout all of Unforseen Consequences, is an alert of structural damage.

Hasn't been running for any of this. He isn't used to physical exertion.

Once tried to hack the announcement system for April Fool's. Failed. Impressed a guard is able to manage it

Takes a shotgun despite weight concerns, on account of it being a shotgun

Has clearance level four

Kills someone on accident. Promptly starts thinking in loops

e6.5

Has two opened cans of Squirt next to his laptop.

Bought a laptop on May 17, 1995, while in college/university.

Has no regrets about buying a laptop worth half his student debt. (Prin adjusted this for inflation and discovered that his laptop is around $3000, nowadays.)

e7

The framing of the opening shot suggests Ryan has been sitting quietly for some time, thinking about having killed someone.

His model is also very nice.

Attempting to rationalize the manslaughter away

He does have his phone on hand.

Injures his leg in an elevator crash

Panics while in a dangerous situation, but calms down pretty much immediately afterwards

Worried he's sustaining hearing damage, but holds priority at not dying

His bones audibly creak when he lands a jump. Complains about it, but doesn't sound like he's in pain

Likes that nothing can follow him into an air vent

Practically flies up the ladder, makes no mention of his leg bothering him on it

Just happy to be alive.

Accepts he has to leave people behind if he wants to survive this, and isn't happy about it

His phone, a Nokia, accepts calls by payment plan.

Todd Arlen has just called him. I've yet to watch Arlen's Mind, so this doesn't mean much to me, yet.

Todd has escaped Black Mesa, and seems surprised that Ryan hasn't. I'd say this suggests Ryan has lost substantial amounts of time to his assorted head injuries.

Silent when he hears he's at risk of being on-site when a nuke is dropped on the facility. Brushes it off when Todd asks after him.

Calls Todd by his last name primarily.

Outraged and afraid about the nuke.

Believes he's going to die.

Overall! the autism headcanons are primed for this guy. i like how much he seems to react to everything happening around him with around the same level of mild nervousness. unfortunately he is running around with broken ribs and later an injured leg that he KEEPS PUTTING WEIGHT ON. shakes him violently. please be careful i understand you have no better options right now but at least brace against a wall

[theadventurerslog]

The Curse of Monkey Island | Part 10

It's time, it's time, it's finale time. With diamond in hand I was finally able to complete a whopping big uncursed diamond ring.

I went back to Elaine to place the ring on her finger and break this curse at last.

Of course, if you might recall, she was winding up to punch Guybrush before the curse took hold and there was no stopping that.

I was debating whether to use this shot because I happened catch it at an awful frame, but I decided if I had to see it, I get to inflict it on you.

He was much more concerned about Elaine though.

Elaine, was understandably very confused, but Guybrush quickly explained she'd been cursed and he fixed it. Everything was going to be fine.

Just fiiiine.

Or not because LeChuck's undead army showed up and so we start Part V.

Kiss of the Spider Monkey.

This part is basically pure exposition. When we come back, Elaine is tied up and Guybrush is locked in a tram sort of cage thingy while LeChuck is ready and waiting to gloat.

We're back. Back to the Carnival of the Damned.

Where Guybrush escaped from in the first place after his failure to find Big Whoop in the previous game.

Big Whoop, as it turns out, is actually a portal to the demon nether world, and LeChuck plans to send Elaine through it to be granted immortality. By being undead, but I mean I guess that's one form. Sure, Elaine might hate him for it, but she'll come to understand the great gift of it all and the dating pool is remarkably small for the undead.

Sure, LeChuck, sure. No Minnie Goodsoup and Charles DeGoulash here.

Anyway, from this point on LeChuck is eager to talk and you can ask him about several things.

So the theme park: sailors are clearly looking for a family-oriented theme park after months at sea. So, they come here and ride the Great Monkey Mountain rollercoaster from the highest peak down into the lava providing a great supply of undead for his army. Fun and resourceful!

There are also more details about how it's run--dynamo monkelectrics. It's monkey powered. Ruthlessly trained monkeys are down in the depths of the place bound to machines of destruction and family entertainment.

And then there's a great deal about how LeChuck got the map to Big Whoop and what he did to Captain Marley--Elaine's grandfather--and his crew who originally found it, all relating back to the first two games, especially the second. But basically in retrieving each of the four pieces of the map that they'd torn up, he killed or destroyed them in various unpleasant ways.

You can also argue about who Elaine loves. Very eloquent. Does so love me. Does not. Does so, does not. Etc. They're very mature.

And you can have enough of his stories and vileness and stop listening.

Well, LeChuck had enough of his childishness (Like you're any better, LeChuck?) and came up with a fate befitting Guybrush's behaviour.

LeChuck and Elaine vanish. Guybrush seemingly does, but you still hear him and still have control. The door was unlocked so out I sent him.

La la la it's Guybrush the kid.

He walks off to another part of the theme park and knows he needs to rescue Elaine but it's hard to think. Head...foggy. He needs to clear his head.

It was time to get down to business. I didn't have a whole lot of my inventory left anymore, down to a little less than one screen's worth.

Though Murray's pasty arm remained.

Most of my stuff wasn't going to be useful except: the recipe book for a reminder of the Head-B-Clear recipe, after all he needs a clear head now, so that's what we gotta make, and the pan and the shaving cream--those will be useful.

I needed three ingredients: egg, the hair of the dog that bit ya, and pepper. Two of those could be found on this screen.

I also had people to talk to here: Dinghy Dog, Wharf Rat and... Murray on the shelf!

Naturally, I spoke with Murray first. "Are you dead yet? You look different."

He was pleased to find out Guybrush was also cursed too; they could join their cursed forces and rule the world together. Turned down again, sadly, I mean fortunately. He was still grossed out by his pasted up arm too.

Dinghy Dog runs a guessing game to guess the weight or age of the kid playing. If he can't guess one of them the player gets a prize. The weight option fails because he can guess that correctly.

Age however, we had a little advantage. He guessed "a fearsome little buccaneer" like him must be seven years old. Which of course is not correct and Guybrush was able to prove it with his SCUMM Actors Guild Membership Card. So I was able to pick a prize. Murray so wanted to be picked. I even tried--I always do--but Guybrush realized that would be a bad idea and Murray will just keep chattering while and demanding and pleading to be picked while you look at other prizes.

The only option that can be taken is an anchor. Murray was very offended by that and sulks for a while with more comments until going quiet. I'm sorry, Murray. I'd have taken you in a heartbeat if it let me.

Then I had a chat with Wharf Rat who runs "Blow the Man Down." A lemon meringue pie is fired from the cannon at the guy in the window. You can ask what meringue is and get told it's whipped from egg whites or something. And he grumbles about Dinghy Dog: "I'm not allowed to associate with His Highness The Great and Mighty Dinghy Dog" and also gives a clue about not messing him or regretting it.

So of course I was gonna mess with Dinghy Dog by continually prodding him until he lost patience and bit Guybrush.

And Guybrush snagged some hair off his suit. One ingredient down.

As for the egg, I needed a way to get one of the pies and the Wharf Rat wouldn't just let me take one.

So, I needed to get rid of the guy who was the target for the cannon. I filled my pie plate with the shaving cream and stuck the anchor in there and then added the whole thing to the pie stack. In the easier mode you can just add the anchor to the pie stack.

Then ask the Wharf Rat to fire the cannon and threaten him with the prospect of LeChuck finding out he's got unhappy kids running around here and that got him.

The poor window guy got knocked right out.

But that left the place empty for Guybrush to go in and taunt the Wharf Rat until he fired a pie at me too.

Egg acquired.

I just needed the pepper which is in the next screen where there's a guy selling snowcones. All manner of flavours of snowcones.

The list goes on for an impressive length with a lot of rhyming. I kiiind of wish I had it memorized just for kicks. It can be quite rhythmic!

He also had a pepper shaker on the counter which I could simply grab.

I ordered a regular snowcone and added all the ingredients on top of it. Delicious... It made a disgusting snowcone, but eating it, I'm sorry Guybrush, worked and he was restored to his clear-headed adult self.

Which brought me to the sixth and final part of the game.

Guybrush Kicks Butt Once Again.

This final part takes place on the roller coaster. It passes by four different diorama areas, 3 of which are based on past events of the series. You have a chance to hop out of the coaster to look around each one and get needed items. Periodically LeChuck will show up and there's a brief bit of conversation before he winds up with some fire to shoot at you and Guybrush leaps back into the passing coaster.

Through those bits of conversation, you find out Elaine got away and must have fiddled with the controls, and therefore the coaster keeps circling instead of plunging Guybrush into the lava stream. Go Elaine go.

So sections:

Monkey Island:

A little diorama of Herman Toothrot, the hung first mate, and the three-headed monkey. This is, of course, from The Secret of Monkey Island. A piece of rope can be grabbed here.

Captain Marley, his crew and their ship.

This was also one of the times I ran into LeChuck. Or he ran into me. Before that I was able to snag a keg of rum and do a little examining of things.

LeChuck's torture chamber in reference to Monkey Island 2.

Guybrush thought there was an animatronic Wally, only to realize it really is Wally. The poor guy really can't catch a break, but Guybrush apologized for leaving him to blow up in LeChuck's castle last time, and he promises this time he'll come back for him. As soon he defeats LeChuck, saves Elaine, sets all the monkeys free... and rides the Madly Rotating Buccaneer anyway.

I was also able to flip open the lantern and grab some oil.

And finally a snowy area, featuring a path leading up to "every sailor's worst nightmare. The 'Giant, Snowy Ape.'

This is the spot I ultimately needed, specifically for the Snowy Ape's arm that forms a perfect holding spot.

I had to set a trap for LeChuck. Use oil on the rope and attach the rope to the keg of rum. Put the whole thing in the Ape's arm and the oil-soaked rope would dangle down to the lower area. Then I had to wait around for LeChuck who always feels like he takes longer to show up when I actually want him.

I remember getting kind of stuck in this part the first time and needing a bit of a nudge from dad.

But while he's winding up his fire launching, blow some pepper at him to make him sneeze. Sneezey fire plus oiled rope is a fun combination featuring a burst of excitement!

Guybrush got out of there. LeChuck was less lucky.

Kaboom.

And what's a theme park without fireworks?

And LeChuck is defeated. Again. Eat explosion, demon zombie pirate.

Then we fade out to Guybrush and Elaine, newly married and setting sail.

Kind of love the suit look for Guybrush I have to admit. Okay, it's the long tail coat. I like 'em long.

Sail away, waved off by my former crew, a chicken and Lemonhead. The crew may have mutinied but it's nice they remain friendly. Or maybe they're glad to see him gone... I'll go with friendly.

And of course there's a final word from Murray:

He SHALL RETURN. (and spoiler alert: he does.)

Then credits with a bit more grumping from Murray at the start.

And finally a last scene sometime in the future with narration from a kid and his dad enjoying the theme park, but his dad tells of a story of the man who built this place being buried here and it's said his frozen body remains somewhere in the tunnels beneath the amusement park. Then it ends with a brief ominous bit of LeChuck's theme.

The End.

Happy end. Ominous end. Gotta leave room for more!

--

Final Words

This would normally be a final thoughts area, but I've played the game before. Many, many, times.

I will say, this last chunk of game--part 5 and 6--are my least favourite of the game. It's not that I dislike them or anything so extreme, but once I hit the point where I'm ready to uncurse Elaine I always feel a bit of a letdown after everything else. They had run into budget issues and such by the end and some stuff got cut and I feel like that can be felt. I've always thought the ending itself felt pretty abrupt too, but honestly I feel that for most of the series.

That aside, it's just such a comfort food game. I didn't remember to try as much or go for lesser used conversation options as much as I originally intended, so maybe, just maybe there are still a few tidbits of newness or much less familiar bits in there somewhere...for the inevitable future play.

Thank you for reading! If this was your first experience with the game... maybe not the best first go--go play it! If you've played it before, replay it! Play it!

I hope you enjoyed even with the gaps, or if you're someone in the future reading this I hope you enjoyed, gap-free!

Farewell for now Guybrush.

[photosbyjabo]

The dreamy city of Edinburgh and the Scottish highlands

Scotland, the northernmost part of the UK. This will be the first time for all of us to travel and visit this country and we're all so stoked! We have been warned though that the weather is much colder than in England and apparently it does rain more here. We flew on the last week of March but it still is chilly. We arrived in Edinburgh already late in the morning; took the tram going to the city centre and already you can see and feel that this city has a different charm. First task of the day was to find a good place to eat. We ended up choosing a Japanese place where we had some sushi.

We then walked to the hotel and strolled around the city for a bit. We had planned something very exciting (and scary) for this evening. An underground city tour! This meant that we got to explore the "Old Town" of Edinburgh where there are still underground passages and vaults accessible to people. However, because these are no longer used by people as much as the olden days, they say that these places are now haunted. I have to say that I didn't really take any photos of the whole tour and definitely not whilst underground as it did feel eerily strange. (Probably will not do it again).

Second day -- tour of the Scottish Highlands! We boarded the coach from the city centre where the tour guide kept us informed and entertained throughout the whole ride. The day was a bit gloomy and because we're going to the highlands it's definitely even colder. But despite everything looking a bit barren and grey, personally I can still see how beautiful and amazing the scenery were. It must be even nicer to see it once spring has come. We got off and saw "The Three Sisters" in Glen Coe.

Before heading back to Edinburgh we had a little stopover where we had lunch in a town called Pitlochry.

Day three! Time to explore the city a bit more. A day where we didn't have anything planned so we ended up just visiting the National Museum of Scotland and then had a little coffee break in this amazing café (The Elephant House) where people claim that J.K. Rowling wrote some parts of one of her novels. What a stunning view of the castle while having your coffee!

Last day in Edinburgh! Of course we can't leave without visiting the Edinburgh Castle. There's an incredible vantage point of the whole city from the castle. We've also been blessed with good-ish weather as the sun showed itself today. Ended up spending most of our day there. I think this will be the first castle that I've actually set foot in and explored.

Another famous spot to see and what I assume most people recognise is Victoria Street. Lined up in a curve with these colourful shops and buildings uphill.

Four days being in this city is definitely not enough. There's still so much that we haven't seen and done. I adore the architecture, the history of the city, the people we've encountered have all been nice too, and the overall atmosphere of this beautiful city. This would be my favorite city so far in the UK. Maybe next time when we come back we get to try some Scottish food (for a change, haha!).

All photos taken using an iPhone. (March 2019)

[sudriantraveler]

I know I’m a couple days late but I’d like to hear about “Trams and Trouble”!

That one's actually been on the back-burner for a little while now, but Its basically meant to be a series of stories for my take on the Vicarstown Tramway.

At the moment I have a series of ideas and concepts planned out, and one story half-written.

The tramway is run by three electric trams. Borrowing from the TV series character Flora, they have a similar livery, and are each named after different plants: Speedwell, Sage, and Delphinium.

I keep going back and fourth of if I want to change these names however, and that's actually part of why this project stalled (I need to stop overthinking the details). In any case, I have written some basic character descriptions for each of them:

Speedwell - A kind and friendly tram, Speedwell has great respect for the people along their line. They are always on the lookout for someone in need, although they can be very anxious, and often have a tendency to get in over their head and overwhelm themself.

Sage - A quiet tram, known for his kind heart and observant nature. In fact he often seems to notice things which no one else does. He can however get easily distracted, and has on numerous occasions held up traffic while listening to street performers or watching the activities of the local alley cats.

Delphinium - Delphinium, or Delphi for short, is an energetic tram. She loves straight empty roads, because she can go as fast as her driver will let her. Bumpy track is all the better as she thinks it's great fun to bounce along swaying from side to side, though her passengers usually aren’t happy about the rough ride. While usually very cheerful, she is quick tempered and can act impulsively at times.

The stories take place around 1950-1951ish, and are about the trams as they go about their lives, while trying to deal with a new bus company which threatens their line.

The first story is more of an introduction to the tramway, and is about Bridgett Hatt, when she gets lost in Vicarstown and happens upon the tramway.

Here is a brief passage from what I have written so far:

*****

At that moment, there was a strange rattling sound punctuated by a short but loud clang of a bell, and around the corner came a very odd looking engine.

It was a tall boxy shape, with two levels, the lower of which sat directly atop a set of 4 small wheels packed oddly close together. A long pole jutted out from its top and connected with a wire running above the roadway. With a squealing of brakes the strange engine came to a gentle stop just in front of Bridget.

“Ogmund’s Park everyone, Ogmund’s Park. Next stop will be Baker’s Lane… Oh, hello… You don’t look all that happy, what’s wrong?”

Bridget looked up. The engine was talking to her. “I’m… lost”, she said slowly.

“Lost?” Said the engine, “Well that will never do, especially on a cold day like this. Do you know where you’re trying to get to, or where have you come from?”

“The Big Station” replied Bridget, “Do you know how to get there?”

“I know the place” said the engine, “and you’re in luck, it’s just along my route. Why don’t you climb aboard and I’ll let you know when we get there”.

“Thank you” said Bridget, and stepped aboard.

“I would recommend finding a seat on the top floor,” said the engine, “you'll have a nice view of the city streets”.

As Bridget took her seat, the strange engine rattled away from the park. It wasn’t like the shaking and rattling of the bus; that had been an angry, terrifying sound as the bus had hurled itself along, seemingly ignorant of the fact that it sounded as though something might break or give way at any moment.

This on the other hand was gentle, calming and rhythmic; a familiar “clickety-clack, clickety-clack'' of train wheels on sturdy metal rails.

“What’s your name?” asked Bridget.

“Oh, I’m sorry” said the engine “I haven’t introduced myself. My name's Speedwell”.

“Well, my name’s Bridget”. She paused, then said “I’ve never seen an engine like you before. You don’t make any smoke or steam”.

“That’s because I’m a tram engine. I’m electric!”

“Electric?”

“Yes. Unlike the mainline railway, all of us trams are electric… or at least, all the ones I know are… That’s what the pole on my roof is for, it draws power from the overhead wire”.

Bridget looked, and sure enough there was a long set of wires trailing above and ahead of them, snaking off into the distance.

*****

Yes, this is why Bridget asked "Is it electric?" when she first met Toby not to long after the events of this story.

[flowerofthewave]

Little Thing I wrote for @georginoschkavincen Amber is his character :)

In the aftermath of Amber's magical accident Handler discovers he hasn't buried his own past as deep as he had thought.

CW: implied death, fire, a kid needs to get a magical tattoo

"There has been an accident", the Agent explains. His name is Finch like the bird. He gets that a lot he says, when Handler asks. He does not look like a bird. He has the title Agent, with no promotion under his belt, because he’s young and they send the young ones to handle the annoying tasks. It’s a particularly irritating brand of Pebbles hypocrisy to send the most inexperienced Agents to fetch magical professionals. 

“This cult you see”, Agent Finch says. He seems to shrink further into himself the more Handler looks at him. “There was a summoning. As far as I understand, but their uhm.. chosen one..”, he mumbles the phrase, as if the simple act of retelling the events could somehow make him complicit. “she couldn't  take it. You know? Just went boom. We found the splatter later, what wasn’t burned anyway. Terrible thing.” He pauses as if he is recalling what he’d seen, then he shakes his head and continues. “Anyway, the .. the magical thing’s here now right? And they got trouble being here right? Yeah. You know.. you know. So it went out, searching. Destroyed a few houses on the way until it found something that could hold it. Huge fire.” Handler frowns, he doesn’t want a part in this in the first place and the involvement of fire magic strengthens his resolution.

“I do not think I am the right person to discuss this with. I’m sure you will find someone working with the Archives who will be delighted to take on the case.”

“That’s the thing. I was already there. The Archives sent me here.” Handler’s frown deepens. The archives were thoroughly reliable, there was no reason for them to refuse a task like this. 

“And why on earth would the Archives refuse a prime magical research subject?”

“They said it’s cause … the fire thing- it didn’t go in an object. It’s in a person. It’s unethical to work it they said. Cause it’s just a little kid too.”

Handler’s blood freezes. A child in a fire. An old memory slips from the neat space it had been sorted into and unfolds itself. Another fire and another child. He shivers, even though it’s warm out, the palms of his hands suddenly feeling unpleasantly damp.

“I’ll take a look, let me just fetch my stuff. You are interested in containing it, yes?”

—

The Agency is a short tram ride away. Agent Finch stands upright and stares anywhere where Handler is not. He can’t help but wonder if this is because he is adept with magic or because Finch has another problem with him. Handler does not spend enough time in Pebbles to know which prejudices they teach their children here. It could be anything from his choice of dress, the way he carries himself or even just how he exists in this tram. It was so often hard to tell which part of him offended today, and in the grand scheme of things it mattered so very little. 

The Agency building, at least the one Handler is brought to, is cocooned in an intricate web of magic negating wards. These types of spells are usually near to invisible, but here they are layered so thickly on top of each other that Handler’s adept eye picks them up almost immediately. He speaks to several people and signs several agreements before he is finally allowed to see the kid, Amber. Agent Finch is gone by now, replaced by a woman his senior. Lieutenant Vidal is less nervous but carries a more open disdain for Handler and this whole situation. She is unhappy with the magic in the kid she says. Handler should remove it or the kid might turn out like him. He withholds his comment.  

It does not take long to arrive at the holding cells, there is a whole section of the building dedicated to them. Most of them are closed, but a few have windows to enable a look at the person trapped. The cells are tiny little things, claustrophobic by design, with intricate lines of spells etched into the walls. It is impressive in its duplicity. Handler is brilliantly adept in the art of written spells, there is no misplaced pride in admitting that, it is simply the truth. Yet some of these connotations escape his own knowledge. The design was conceived by a true master of their craft and he can’t help but wonder if they had been commissioned for these atrocities or if the coward actually believes in this.

"This one." They have stopped in front of a door without a window and Lieutenant Vidal picks a key and opens the lock. The inside is similar to the other cells, though there is a much wider array of spells embellishing the wall. The bed has been reduced to a heap of ash. 

Pressed as far away as possible from them is the boy. His small frame is circled by flames, they lick up the walls and dance around him. It looks almost protective. How absurd.

Amber’s hair has taken on the consistency of the flames too and his eyes are glowing, making it impossible to see his iris or pupils. There is something so wild about it, that Handler almost asks the Agent if she is sure that this is an elven child and not an incarnation of fire itself. 

But then he sees his posture, recognizes the way Amber is pressing himself against the wall, as far away as possible from the open door. He can almost smell it, the fear, the desperation and even though Amber seems so otherworldly his face is still small and soft. He can’t be much older than six. 

Handler feels a sensation like cool liquid running down his spine. It forms a tight ball in his stomach. 

"How long has he been in here?"

"Few days."

Amber doesn’t look physically hurt or mistreated but Handler can hardly give credit to the Agency for this, it appears that the fire nourished him while he was locked away in his box.

"I could kill you, you know? Take him out and burn this whole place down."

"They'd build a new one."

"I suppose they would."

They're both quiet after that. For a bit. Handler sorts his thoughts but then Lieutenant Vidal speaks up once more. 

“There’s nothing we could have done. He keeps burning. No one can get near him. Believe me we fucking tried.”

“I suppose”, Handler just says again. “I suppose you have.”

He does not look at her when he steps inside the room and draws the door shut with him. It’s difficult isn’t it, making laws, upholding them. It’s difficult when things like this happen anyway.

The fire reaches for him and Amber tries to crawl further away. It's strong, Handler thinks, it's surprising it hasn't killed the kid yet. His clothes begin to blacken in the heat, but Handler had made sure to spell them into fire resistance. His body should be fine too, after all the first spell he ever carved into his skin was to protect him from it. 

The room, once the door is closed, is nauseating, he likes his freedom and he knows that if that lock clicked shut he could not get out. Not with these spells. It's terrifying if he has to be perfectly honest. He keeps those thoughts to himself though and instead smiles at Amber and sits down on the ground. 

"My name is Handler Hook", he tells him. "I'm here to help you."

It takes a long time until Amber moves. Handler doesn’t want to touch him, so he sits on the floor and tells him stories. About his day, about what he’s done, the magic he can cast and how he can help Amber. Only when he demonstrates a few simple magic tricks does the kid relax. He wonders if anyone else has actually tried to talk to him, or if they had all just seen the creature of fire and turned their heads before it could turn back into a child. 

It was detrimental of course, that to help the kid he had to hurt him once more. To regulate the magic within him Handler had to either remove the fire or contain it with a spell. If Handler had the time, resources and motivation he would always opt into removing it. This assured that magic could cause no further problems and the victim was able to lead a more or less normal life. In this situation though he could quickly tell that there was a risk he was unwilling to take. While the kid's body had endured the fire astonishingly well, Handler feared that in the few days the magic had nested inside this small body it might have already burned out whatever is inside. Should Handler forcibly remove the fire, there was a high chance it would leave an empty husk. 

So containment it was. The fire seemed to like Amber after all. This meant the magic stayed, maybe one day the kid would even be able to use it, though for now he’d just seal it completely shut. The essential problem was that to secure magic as powerful as this in any kind of vessel it is necessary to write the spell directly and permanently onto the container. Which was in this case, the body of this child. 

He carefully takes out the tattoo pen he had brought and shows Amber his own scarred and tattooed arms. He tells him it will hurt. That was part of magic he says, the price they had to pay.

“But it will only hurt once. I promise. Afterwards you will be better. Afterwards it will be like this.” And he carefully takes the kids little hand and presses it down on his very first magical scar. The fire around Amber’s hand flickers then fades until it’s reduced to a soft glow.

"See?"

Amber nods. 

There are a lot of things Handler could be thinking about but he keeps circling back to this room. With dread he realizes that once he begins tattooing and the fire surrounding Amber dimms that there is no other source of light in here. Any person with no access to light magic would be stuck in a completely dark room. It’s a good thing to be angry at, it’s a good thing to distract himself with.

To his credit Amber makes almost no sound, though Handler can hear a little sniffle every now and then. He doesn’t know if he prefers that over a full on tantrum but as long as Amber sits still it’s easier to achieve the accurate linework this spell requires.

Somewhere in the middle of it he stands up to demand a lamp and some food for himself and the kid. He hands him the sandwich once he’s sure it will only be warm and not burned to a crisp.

___

"It's done."

He sighs with relief as he puts down the last line and Amber’s fire is firmly sealed. The only source of light in the room is now the electric lamp he was given. 

"You were very brave." 

Amber turns to him, his hair now lays flat, though a little tangled, on his head, framing his face and making him look thinner than he is. It’s still a burning orange and Handler can’t tell if that’s his natural hair color or if this is the fire’s influence. 

When tries to get up a sudden tug on his robe stops him. There's a little fist balled into the fabric and Handler looks into those big eyes. They have pupils again, but they also still have a soft glow attached to them. Not enough to light the room, but visible nonetheless. He'd been quiet all this time but now his small face is scrunched up in terrible emotion and Handler sits back down. 

For a moment the little face overlaps with another, one that he usually can not recall without the aid of a picture. Handler had been told what happened to Amber's parents. It’s like they all swapped fates; this little boy and his little girl. Himself and his mother. Maybe this was supposed to be some kind of redemption. One he would not have to fight tooth and nail for.

"It's okay now”, he says, like he had desperately wanted to all those years ago. “I'll take care of it." 

It’s a promise. To himself. To the kid. Amber nods and lets go of his robe. 

[weanda]

Hotel nights

As for me and R, we have spent 2 nights together since then.

First, we were in a hotel on the banks of the Danube, we stood on the balcony a lot, watching the river flow, the boats gliding on the water, the tram and the cars going under us. But we spent even more time in bed. After we arrived we decided to rest. We talked and laughed a lot, held hands and closed our eyes. A little later, we started to hug and approach each other so that our faces and bodies were very close to each other. At first, every movement felt very foreign to me, and my thoughts kept jumping back and forth. Should I let him touch me like this? He's my colleague! But it fits so well. I want to enjoy the moment. I thought about them every minute. Then my face came so close to him that he asked: does it matter at all that your lips are on my face and not on my mouth? And then I realized it wasn't. I could just kiss him… And I did. Then the night became very hot. We took off our clothes, which again really embarrassed me because he said he wouldn't… but then he did. I wasn't naked, but we did a lot of things together anyway. He wanted to fuck, lick, kiss, caress me all night. He was hinting and whispering to me all the way, it was very sexy and embarrassing... Around midnight we went to dinner, which was very pleasant, and after that we continued our sexy game, seducing each other.

Next morning we kissed each other goodbye and both went home. Since then, whenever we meet, we always kiss each other. At work, we hide in the stairwell and talk and kiss there. We met once and talked about how we felt or what we wanted from each other next. We are just as much dudes who are attracted to each other. A lot of things have changed in me, because before I didn't think that I would actually kiss him and that I would let him close to me like that. And now I had to admit that I'm into him a little.

The next night it happened a little later, because after our conversation, R thought I didn't want to spend any more nights with him. And for always saying I wouldn't invite him to my apartment despite my affection. Actually, even after that, I was quite reserved, because it was difficult for me to navigate my own feelings about how far I wanted to go with him. But later I invited him to a bar that we both like, and R booked a room in the city center. The story is almost the same as the previous one. We didn't go to the bar of course. We stayed in the room from check-in. We entangled each other for hours, all night. We masturbated in front of each other and enjoyed the way the other moved and sighed. It was absolutely pleasuring! This time I had no clothes on me. The difference between the two occasions is that I had condoms now and I wanted to have sex with him… But he didn't want to pick it up, even though he said it was fine. He had orgasm both times, but not once for me despite all my efforts. I wanted to feel him nside me, to ride him, to press my body against his… but in the end it didn't happen…

Then last week he went on vacation abroad, and I stayed at home with my thoughts. Why did he want to get so close to me if he didn't want to sex with me?… We chatted later, and he wrote that he thought this condom-thing was just a formality. I say I have it, he nods, but then we don't use it. And I sent to him a thinking face… WTF man!? Although we discussed earlier that I can't take birth control pills because it messes up my hormonal balance and makes me really sick. I used to try 5-6 different medicines for years, but I was always very sick… I thought that if he knew this about me, we would protect ourselves, take care of each other. I was wrong :(

You have no idea how many times I wished I was like other girls. To take the pills and feel nothing, no pain and sickness, to be happy, liberated and not afraid of getting pregnant.

We barely spoke last week. Our conversations were short and neutral. We didn't joke much and after he wrote that the condom was just a formality for him, we didn't even talk for about 2-3 days… I was disillusioned with him, and because of that I think I'm less attracted to him, because I don't feel so safe with him :( I asked him how he was going to work next week and it turned out that we avoid each other every day! I am sad about this because we have less time to talk and I miss his humor and closeness. I think if I had the chance I could kiss him, but mainly to make sure how much I'm still attracted to him after this.

It's a strange feeling that I feel uncomfortable after all this.

[mitsdriveswhere]

A Day at Zion National

The day I woke up in the parking lot of a gas station in Flagstaff, I woke up sick - what I later found out was Covid. It was 18°F, and the air hurt it was so cold. There was a thick ice layer on the inside of every window, so I turned the car on, turned on the defroster, and escaped back under my blanket until my car was at least warm enough to get on the road.

I wore a mask for the rest of the trip, even while hiking the rim of the Grand Canyon. I wasn't feeling great, I even texted my friend half way through the day "TIL that if I run up stairs at 7000ft my chest hurts", but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. My energy went down near the end of the day, ending with a hot shower and an early sleep at a hotel room.

The next day, I woke up not feeling well again, but off I went to Zion National. I made one detour for Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park before entering Zion from the eastern entrance, going through the Zion-Mount-Carmel tunnel - beautiful drive.

Once I got to the visitor's center, I pulled out the map they give you at the entrance saw a tram line running south with numbers along it and spotted the one I wanted.

Stop 9 - The Narrows

I had originally been baptized in Zion by my dad, who reportedly dedicated it to Jesus, Buddha, and Vishnu to, and I quote, "cover his bases". I also, reportedly, I have no memory of this, was under the impression that you go to heaven (ie, die) as soon as you're baptized, and was screaming "I DON'T WANNA GO TO HEAVEN" through its entirety. Good times.

I wanted to go back to see if I remembered anything. I didn't, only a vague feeling of deja vu on the drive in. So I went to a help counter and asked the person manning it "Can you drive your own car to the Narrows?" and pointed to the Stop 9 on the map.

And she pauses.

I should have known from the pause alone.

"...You can drive into Springdale, yes."

"How long does it take roundtrip, from here to the Narrows and back?"

"It's about an hour."

Cool! That's super fast. I thanked them and went on my merry way back to my car. I got the map out again, and piloted in the direction of Stop 9, out of the visitors center parking lot.

And out of Zion National Park.

... Wait a minute.

I continued down the road, confused as hell, until finally I saw a place to park on the road in this... town. I was in a town.

The town of Springdale as it were.

I went back to my map, and realized that unfortunately, this map had two different sets of numbered stops. One in brown, and one in green. Now her pause made sense - I had pointed to Stop 9 on the brown route, which was a stop in Springdale, and not Stop 9 on the green route - the Narrows.

So I sat.

And I sat.

I sat in my car for a good five minutes, wondering how worth-it-to-me Zion was. I was already behind my original itinerary from a litany of other unexpected stops to see cool shit the days previous. It was already around noon, and I was supposed to be over near Moab by the end of the day.

And I sat. I was already not feeling well. I was already behind schedule. I was already outside of Zion. I have never had such a long think while traveling, even when doing stupid shit. Even when going down a road that has a "Conditions May Be Impassible" sign.

Until finally, I came to my decision. "There will be positives. And there will be negatives." I was going to back to Zion. So I turned my car back on, and drove back towards Zion. As I got closer, traffic slowed to a stop to get into Zion, and I repeated my intention to go to Zion, that I would regret it if I didn't, until I got back in the park.

I quickly returned to the visitor's center, parked my car, and hitched a ride on the tram running towards the actual Stop 9, getting off to see things along the way. The Weeping Rock, in particular, was beautiful. I got to Stop 9, got off the tram, and began the 1.5 hour walk to the Narrows, taking pictures along the way.

And man... I was right. I would have regretted not seeing it. I'm not religious or even spiritual, but if I had to pick a place where a supernatural being would live... it would be Zion. I cried in Zion because it was just so beautiful. (Don't get me wrong, I've been known to cry around scenery) I walked all the way to the Narrows, just... speechless, frankly. It truly is a beautiful place.

After walking around the Narrows for a while, I headed back the way I came, catching the tram to my car and climbing in for a very long drive to Green River, UT. It had been dark for a while by the time I got there, asleep immediately in my hotel room.