#how do you potty train a dog
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Love how my grandma and aunt have the audacity to be mad at me when the first thing she says when I wake up and leave my room is calling the dog a bitch for pissing on the rug and then wonder why I don't want to interact with them
#maybe pay attention to the dog when she wants to go outside to go potty instead of watching Facebook videos all day#she won't piss on the rug if she goes outside! its not that hard#can't say she isn't trained bc you both fuckin ignore the dogs obvious body language#so we're all just gonna be pissy with each other for the rest of the day bc nobody in this house can properly communicate with each other#and the cycle continues#i can communicate with my friends easy but family? nah. they just completely ignore anything and everything#like how I've constantly told my aunt I'd like to be left alone when I'm mad and what does she do every time? orbit me like a gd satellite#what's a good way to vent frustration bc I'm reaching a boiling point sooner rather than later lol
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Charles wanting to adopt Oscar blurb, please
"Mon coeur, I have something to ask you!", Charles sang as he walked along the corridor, meeting you in the home office.
"Sure, what is it?", you asked, finishing the sentence you were typing and turning your attention to your boyfriend.
"I might have adopted someone", he mumbled.
"What? Did you adopt another dog? Charles, Leo is barely potty trained and two dogs is very different than having just one! It's like people say, having one kid means having one kid, having two kids means having a dozen!", you reasoned.
"It's not a dog", Charles spoke, seeing Leo's ears perk up at mention of his name from you, stretching his body and waddling to your feet, "it's Oscar".
"Oscar? Like Oscar Piastri? Or do we know another Oscar and I'm not getting there?", you quirked an eyebrow.
"Yes, Oscar! He wants Monaco to be his home race, too, so we could adopt him! Leo can have a little sibling!", Charles suggested as you picked up the puppy and set him on your lap.
"Okay, I guess - I mean, what do we do? Do we get the kids to bond now? They should bond together - the kids should get along", you mused, "do you want to meet your new brother Oscar? He's a bit older than you, but he's been in our family for less time than you, which might be confusing", you joked as if that was the centre of the situation as Charles approached you so he could pet the dachshund puppy.
"See, Leo? Mama was quick to blame you and point out the potty issues, I understand how she's your favourite because she's my favourite person too, but I don't get it... she went straight to listing all of the times you peed on the floor!", he mused.
(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)
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Injured (Jenni's Version): Future
Grace Clinton x Reader
Summary: You need to leave
"Mami! Mami! Mami!"
You smile slightly, continuing to pack your suitcase as your son lays back on your bed.
"Yes, my James?"
He grins at you. "Can I come?"
You shake your head. "You know you can't."
"But why?"
"Because Paris is a long way away from Lyon." You add another set of pointe shoes to your bag. "And I need you to do a very special job for me."
You sit down on the bed, patting the spot next to you.
James is more than happy to crawl towards you, leaning close to hear his special job.
"You're a very responsible boy, aren't you?"
He nods. "I helped Mummy pick up Ollie's poo yesterday on our walk!"
Ollie's your family dog. Grace had gotten him for you when the first two rounds of ivf didn't take and you'd been so down about it. You were right in the middle of your third round and losing hope when Grace had come home with a German Shepherd puppy.
You called Ollie your good luck charm because two weeks after you'd successfully potty trained him, you fell pregnant with your other golden boy, James.
"That's very responsible!" You tell him," Because I need a very responsible boy to help me out."
"I'm responsible! I'm responsible! What is it?"
"I need you to be in charge of the house while I'm gone," You tell him," That's why you can't come with. You've got to make sure Mummy doesn't order takeout every day and cleans up Olivia's toys when she's done playing."
Olivia's the other light of your life, your nearly one year old daughter.
You didn't particularly want to leave either of them but you'd been called up by the Paris Opera Ballet to be their guest Principal for one of the shows they were putting on and you loved dancing in their venue.
Originally, you were going to say no but Grace pushed you to accept. She was more than capable of looking after both of the kids at once.
"I'll make sure Mummy eats healthy and cleans up!" James tells you," Can I go tell her I'm in charge while you're gone?"
"I'm sure she would love that."
James goes bursting out of the room and you take the time to finish packing.
Ollie whines a little as you zip up the bag.
"I'm sorry, Ollie," You say, gently stroking his head," You know I'll back soon."
Ollie's the family dog, technically, but, secretly, you know he's yours. He had been incredibly protective over you when you were pregnant with Livy and he had been super excitable as a puppy when you were pregnant with James.
Fully grown now, he loved being in the same room as you. He adored the kids and Grace, of course, but you had always been his person.
Frankly, you were getting a little worried he was lonely in the house alone all day so you and Grace had been in talks about getting Ollie his own puppy.
It was only fair to Olivia as well.
Ollie grew up with James. It's only right to have a puppy for Olivia to grow up with too.
But, that was a conversation for when you got back and after your planned trip to Spain in the summer.
It would be nice, you think, to have a puppy for Ollie to be the best big brother too just like how James is the best big brother to Livy.
Ollie follows you down the stairs, his favourite tennis ball in his mouth as you start pulling your suitcase down.
Grace appears at the bottom, hurrying up to swap the bag with Livy and carry it the down for you.
"Careful, beautiful," She says as you swap," You don't want to strain anything before you go on stage." She winks at you and you roll your eyes.
"Did James tell you I've left him in charge?"
"He did," Grace replies with a grin," I think he's already planning on demanding Big Bed access."
"Don't let him," You remind her but your wife just shrugs.
"I don't know. He's making a convincing case. Says that it would be cold without you and he should be there to warm it up."
"If you get him in the habit of sleeping in our bed while I'm away, Grace Clinton, then you're in trouble and I'm choosing what breed the next puppy is."
"Oh, come on!" Grace is laughing though so you know she isn't taking your empty threats too seriously. "Cab's here though. You finished up just in time."
"Okay." You pull on your coat surprisingly well for someone balancing a baby in the other arm.
You litter kisses all over Livy's face as Grace calls James to the door.
"I'll miss you, Mami," He tells you and you crouch down to give him kisses too.
"I'll miss you too, James," You say," I love you, baby."
"Love you too."
He curls into your arms and your rock him side to side softly before pulling away.
"Remember, you're in charge, okay? So I want you to boss around Mummy and make her eat healthy, deal?"
He nods. "Deal."
"I'll see you in a week, amor," You tell Grace, pecking her lips a few times and laughing when she tries to chase your kiss each time.
"Love you, beautiful."
"Love you too."
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Robin had just gotten out of Steve’s car and was walking towards the doors of Family Video when she heard it. A whimper like the sound of a baby crying.
"Did you hear that?" Robin asked.
"Is this another deaf joke?" Steve asked. "I told you they're only acceptable if they're funny. . .am I going to laugh at this one?"
"No, dingus, I think I heard a baby crying! Turn that thing up!" Robin exclaimed.
"I can't turn it up any louder than this, Robin, I'm not a radio or a drug sniffing - hold on, I think I hear something," Steve said.
They moved to the side of Family Video that wasn't attached to the side of another building. They followed the noise to the dumpster that clung to the wall. Tucked underneath was a crying black haired puppy next to their dead mother and sibling.
"Oh, no, Steve!" Robin exclaimed. "Hey, sweetheart, we're not going to hurt you. Steve, give me your jacket."
"Why does it have to be my jacket?" Steve asked.
"Because I'm rather attached to mine," Robin said.
Steve rolled his eyes but took off his jacket and picked up the puppy, wrapping it up. Robin took the bundle from his arms and walked towards the car.
"Where are you going?" Steve asked.
"We need to take - uh, her to the vet, Steve," Robin said.
"Okay, but Keith said that if we abandon the store again we're fired," Steve said.
"Fuck Keith," Robin scowled.
"Yeah, which I'm probably going to have to do if I want to keep our jobs," Steve said.
"We all have to make our sacrifices," Robin said. "Come on, take one for the team."
"It's Keith, Robin!" Steve scowled, and then his face softened. "Now, if it was Eddie on the other hand. . ."
"I don't want to hear about your fantasies of working underneath him," Robin said. "Which you should tell him, by the way."
"I'll tell Eddie when you tell Vickie," Steve said.
"I've told her already," Robin said.
"Really?" Steve asked, crossing his arms.
Robin stared at him, and he stared back. Robin cursed.
"Damn you, Harrington," Robin said.
The dog in her arms started crying louder and moving around, her cries growing more desperate.
"Yeah, okay, let's get her to the vet," Steve said.
Once they got her to the vet, the doctor gave her a proper check-up and deemed her healthy except for the fact that she was hungry. It was hard to tell what kind of breed she was. The vet guessed something of a yorkie poodle mix, and then he asked if they were keeping her. Robin stared at the small black haired beauty in her arms, and her heart melted as the puppy laid her head right up against her chest while Steve scratched behind her ears.
"Yeah, we're keeping her," Robin said, looking at Steve. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," Steve grinned.
Later that evening, Steve and Robin stumbled into the door of their shared apartment. Robin held the dog while Steve carried loads of things that she needed. Well, it was really Steve’s apartment. He got it over the summer when he was kicked out by his parents, but Robin basically lived there, too.
"Okay, you know this means we're going to have to switch to different shifts so someone stays here," Robin said.
"Yeah, I figured that out," Steve said.
"I just want to make sure you were okay with it," Robin said as she cooed at the puppy.
"I think we can handle being away from each for a while," Steve said.
"I'm not sure if I can, though!" Robin exclaimed. "Can't we just bring our child to work?"
"Yeah, Keith let us off the hook today, but I doubt he'll let us bring the dog in the store," he said.
Robin got on the floor with a toy, showing the puppy how to play with it.
"Our other kids come into the store, and Keith doesn't say shit!" Robin exclaimed.
"Because our other kids aren't at risk at peeing on the floor," Steve said.
"How sure are you about that, Steve?" Robin asked.
"Very sure! Their actual parents had them potty trained a long time ago," Steve scoffed.
Steve got on the floor with Robin, flattening all the way out onto his stomach like she did. Steve smiled and shook the toy at the dog, laughing when she attacked it, her little tail wagging.
"You know with her big brown eyes and her dark hair, she kind of looks like. . .," Robin trailed off. "Eddie?"
"That's what I was thinking!" Steve grinned.
"Of course you were," Robin cooed at Steve and then turned to the dog. "Eddie?"
The dog looked at Robin curiously, then bounced over to her and attacked her nose with kisses.
"I think we found her name," Steve said.
"Oh, he's going to love that," Robin said.
A few weeks passed with Robin and Steve working to maintain their new schedules. It was going pretty great. Little Edith was pretty smart and picked up on so much, so it was a breeze teaching her things. Of course, it still left them too busy to do other things. Robin had just left to nap in her new doggy bed in Robin's room when the front door opened.
"Are you sure about this?" Vickie asked.
"They gave us a key for a reason," Eddie said. "There is something going on, and we're going to get to the bottom of this."
"You don't think they're actually fighting, do you?" Vickie asked.
"Why else would they switch shifts?" Eddie asked.
"But it's Steve and Robin!" Vickie exclaimed.
"Can I help you, burglars?" Robin asked, startling them.
"What - what are you doing here?" Eddie asked.
"I live here - officially now," Robin said.
"I thought - you and Steve were having problems because you switched shifts, but you're living here?" Eddie asked.
"I guess you two should be the first to know - Steve and I are with child!" Robin exclaimed.
"What?!" Eddie and Vickie exclaimed.
"I thought you said you weren't interested in that," Vickie said. "With him."
"Oh, at first, yeah, but it turns out that it's a wonderful experience," Robin said with a happy sigh. "We're completely in love."
"Oh," Eddie and Vickie said softly, the sound disappointment clear in their voices.
"Why the long faces?" Robin asked. "This is good news!"
"Yeah, real happy for you," Eddie said bitterly, his eyes blinking back unshed tears.
"Seriously?" Robin asked. "I thought you all of people would be happy about this! This is something you want, too."
"You don't need to keep rubbing salt in the wound, Robin," Vickie said, rubbing Eddie's shoulder. "You told us both that we had nothing to worry about, and then you go and tell us that you're in love with Steve and that you're having his baby!"
"What?! Where did you get that from?!" Robin asked.
"From you! You said that you're with child and that you're in love!" Eddie shrieked and sniffled.
"We got a dog! Steve and I PLATONICALLY got a dog together!" Robin yelled, her eyes wide. "Didn't I say that?"
"No!" Vickie and Eddie yelled.
"Oh, well, I meant to say that," Robin said awkwardly and Eddie burst into relieved sobs. "Sorry."
Eddie's sobs turned into laughter, and Vickie couldn't help but laugh, too. Suddenly, Edith came running into the room, barking.
"There she is!" Eddie exclaimed. "The star of this misunderstanding!"
"Her name is Edith," Robin said.
"Edith, huh?" Eddie's eyes twinkling with mirth.
"She's so tiny," Vickie cooed.
"Yeah, the doctor said she's probably not going to be very big, says he'll be surprised if she makes it to ten pounds," Robin said. "I think she's ready to play again."
A little while later, Steve came home to find Robin, Eddie, and Vickie playing in the living with Edith.
"Hey," Steve grinned.
Robin rushed over to him and leaned over to whisper to him.
"Okay, don't be mad, okay, but I kind of accidentally made them think for a moment that we fell in love and you got me pregnant," Robin said.
"Well, it's not the first time you made someone think that. It probably won't be the last," Steve said.
"Good news, though," Robin grinned. "They're definitely interested in us."
"This day is looking up," Steve smiled softly as he watched them.
"Also, apparently, they meet up a couple of times a week over tea and scones to talk about us," Robin said, and Steve hummed.
"Interesting. . ."
Robin leaned against Steve, the both of them watching Eddie and Vickie sprawl out on the floor much like they do with Edith. Robin bit her lip. Aside from becoming best friends, Robin knew that in this moment, this was the best thing that could have happened to them.
#stranger things#robin buckley#lesbian robin buckley#steve harrington#bisexual steve harrington#robin & steve#platonic stobin#platonic with a capital p#platonic soulmates#eddie munson#bisexual eddie munson#bi as hell bi the way#stranger things vickie#bisexual vickie#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#robin x vickie#rovickie#rockie#stranger things fanfiction#rueleigh writes#rueleigh's thoughts
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“Look at all those chickens’’
OT8 × Reader notes: ngl this all started with me seeing a chicken art on my feed and I realized I want a couple dozen now lol, so enjoy my first imagine/drabbles. Also, sorry it got so late by the time I have finished this, I will revisit to edit this and that is why it got shorter and shorter at the end 😭 (Forbidden feelings coming soon♡︎) word count: 598 warning(s): none just pure fluff
Chan:
He would just look at you dumbfounded: what are you two going to do with these chickens? He knows you didn't think it through, he isn't mad at you, secretly loves all of them and wants to buy at least the same amount so you can have little chicken pairs.
Already thinking about buying a farm far away from everyone where you can have goats and baby cows, maybe some horse and of course dogs and cats. Heck, he would even buy you a whole zoo just to make sure his little princess has all the animals she can possibly think of.
Minho:
He would tease you with feeding them to his kids, enjoying how your face scrunches up from the thought. Deep inside, he is intrigued by them, and slowly warming up to the idea of having a bunch of baby chicks.
He also says up until the AM to look for chicken coops and things he can build for them so they can play and have a comfortable place to stay. He is trying to be secretive about it to surprise you and to not blow up his cover.
Changbin:
He would literally hold back tears and show you all the pictures he has saved on his phone about baby farm animals. He is a softie and you always knew it.
He names all of them silly names and feeling quite happy about them until one poops on his floor… he might be in for a wild ride with figuring out how to potty-train chickens.
Hyunjin:
He already wants to make sketches of you and your kids, thinking about poses he could have you hold them so he can make sure he gives justice to your beauty. Feels overjoyed by this new milestone you two accomplished: having a dozen of little feathery kids.
Han:
For a solid minute, he laughs, not thinking you are being for real. Then, when he realized he was happy, he named all of them names like pip, peep, squeak, lil pip jr. and the list could go on and on.
After a week or so of having them, he started “teaching” them how to fly, making you watch it in horror. But let's face it, he is so clumsy he has dropped one or two of them accidentally when you weren't home.
Felix:
As soon as you opened the box, his eyes light up, living that Stardew fantasy with you. He makes lots of pictures of them, you with the chicks, and his own SKZOO. He sends the latter picture to the group chat with the boys, announcing that BbokAri somehow ended up being a father and that the mother left them. You just laughed at the soap opera he suddenly started to write about his own merch plushie, but you didn't stop him.
Seungmin:
You showed him while the others were there as well, bragging about your new-found family with Minnie. Everyone was over the moon about how adorable they were, except your boyfriend, who simply told Felix that he thinks they are his kids, delivering it with the stone-cold expression he mastered probably at birth.
I.N.:
He gets super excited, although finds it a bit silly. Said a joke along the lines of must've cheated with Felix's SKZOO, which earned a chuckle from you.
As he starts to play with them, one immediately pinches him with its beak making you forget about your kids and making sure that your boyfriend is okay, babying him just a little more.
#drabble#skz drabbles#skz imagines#bang chan#changbin#stray kids fluff#han jisung#hyunjin#kpop#lee felix#lee know#oursecretways#stray kids#stray kids drabbles#stray kids imagines#skz ot8#skz ot8 x reader#kpop imagines#kpop drabbles#kpop x reader#skz fluff#kpop fluff#i really want chickens help#bang chan x reader#lee felix x reader#minho x reader#seungmin x reader#hyunjin x reader#changbin x reader#seugmin
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Young Love and Old Money (Cassian x Female! Reader) Part 2
Young Love and Old Money Masterlist
AN: My toxic trait is that I'll read Eris fanfic all day and swoon but the second I work on this series I tear him to absolute filth.
Summary: She was the most beautiful woman in Prythian, sister to the High Lord of Night, and now she is the soon-to-be wife of Eris Vanserra. Despite her many titles and her aura of unattainability, Cassian can't help but fall deeply in love with the princess of the Night Court. But will it be enough to stop her impending wedding to a man who is sure to destroy her from the inside out?
Warnings: Sexisim, trauma from under the mountain, alcohol, Eris' hounds
Word Count: 3,754
The next few days fly by faster than expected and before I know it, I’m walking from my room to the foyer of The House of Wind. I don’t miss my reflection in the passing windows. Once again I had been poked, prodded and primped to perfection. My dress hugged my every curve, not that Eris needed an excuse to use his imagination more than he already was.
I step into the foyer and find Cassian there with his back turned to me. He hears the clacking of my shoes on the marble floors and turns around, the familiar red glow of his siphons both easing the and aiding my rapid heartbeat.
“What do you think? Do I look ‘wall ornament-y’ enough?” I laugh trying to hide my pain.
“No you don’t, you look like a princess.” Cassian laughs but I can hear the hesitancy in his compliment.
“Thank you,” I smile, ducking my head. “Is it just you and I today?” I ask, looking for a sign of my brother or Azriel.
“Actually it’ll be just us from now on. Rhys has assigned me to take you back and forth from the Autumn Court for the duration of your courtship.” Cassian says with a hint of annoyance.
“Oh I’m sorry, that seems a little below your pay grade.” I mutter as my cheeks burn with embarrassment. Cassian was The Lord of Bloodshed, not some personal bodyguard of mine.
“Don’t be, I could use some easy work,” he assures me. “Ready?”
“I guess so,” I reply, walking over to him so he can pick me up. Within an instant we’re airborne and I try to hold on to the sense of freedom that flying gives me before I feel suffocated under Eris’ gaze.
The first few minutes of flying neither of us speak. I can hardly think of anything besides the way his arms feel around me, and I almost wish he had the power to winnow like Azriel did to keep my mind from wandering towards places it shouldn’t.
“I hope you know I didn’t mean what I said the other day. You know, about you being a wall ornament. I was just trying to see Eris squirm.” Cassian confessed and I can tell by the tone of his voice that the subject had been plaguing him for a while.
“Don’t worry I rather enjoyed his squirming,” I laugh recalling the way Eris’ jaw ticked from Cassian’s sarcasm.
“Then I’ll be sure to do it more often,” he said with that knee weakening smile.
It wasn’t long until we reached the Autumn Court and from where Cassian meant to touch down I could see Eris’ fiery hair waiting for me. The second my feet touched the ground Eris was reaching out for my hand.
“You look ravishing my dear,” he said, placing a kiss to the top of my hand.
“You as well prince Eris,” I smile as he loops his arm through mine, leading me up the front steps of the palace.
“I see you brought your bastard dog with you again,” Eris chided, throwing a glance over his shoulder to where Cassian followed us.
“Don’t worry he’s potty trained, I even taught him to sit and stay,” I quip back as Eris leads me through the doors. I glance back at Cassian to give him an apologetic expression.
Eris lets out a hearty chuckle and I think it’s the first time that I’ve heard him laugh, “My dear you do have quite the sharp mind,” he says.
I glance up at the ornate ceilings above the foyer,“This place is huge, how many rooms?” I ask Eris, trying to change the subject.
“More than I’ve ever bothered to try and count, perhaps you can count with me today? I had hoped to take you on a little tour,” Eris answers, leading me down the hall.
Thick, lush garnet colored fabric covers the floors as ornate gold detailing lines the walls. The flames from the many chandeliers cast a warm light through the hall, and the colors of the Autumn trees can be seen through all the multi paned windows. I wanted to love this place, I wanted it to feel like home. Maybe it would have if Eris wasn’t such a viper.
We spent at least an hour wandering the halls of the palace, Cassian never farther than twenty feet from us. I was surprised to see that the place was near empty. My mind began to wander, was the place vacant because few people lived here? Or was it vacant because even the staff fears Eris? I suppressed the shiver that went down my back as I tried to turn my mind to other matters.
“I have something I wish to show you,” Eris says as he leads me outside.
The brisk air fans my face offering a breath of fresh air that I so desperately needed. His grip on me tightened as we approached a familiar looking barn. It didn’t take me long to realize that it was the same barn he had shown me earlier this week, the one where he kept his hounds.
We walk in through the wooden door and I’m greeted with the sight of at least a dozen kennels of dogs, all of them barking so loud my ears nearly rang at the sound. All of them, white, black and brown. As we made our way toward the back of the barn my gaze locked on a much smaller kennel where a litter of puppies played.
“Oh prince Eris! They’re so cute!” I cried watching them wrestle around with one another.
“I thought you might like them,” he smirked, leaning down to pluck one from the litter, placing it into my arms. The little puppy wiggled around licking my face, earning a giggle from me.
“What’s this one's name?” I ask, holding the puppy close.
“That one won’t get a name,” he answers, watching me and the pup intently.
“Why not?” I inquire, puzzled as to why such a sweet thing wouldn’t have a name.
“Because she’s a female and we don’t keep the females. They cost more to feed and keep than their worth.” He explains, like it’s common knowledge.
“But then how do you breed more?” I ask, holding the puppy even closer to my chest upon hearing its fate.
“She’s our breeder, and she has been for a couple of years now,” Eris replies, pointing to a fearful looking dog in the back corner of the kennel. “She always bears the strongest and healthiest pups, and most of them are male which is always advantageous.”
My stomach drops at Eris’ words. “Then why do you keep the female puppies alive for so long?” I ask, not sure I really wanted to know the answer.
Eris takes the puppy from my hands and puts it back in the pen where it begins to play with the others, “Because if we kill them right after their birth the mother gets lethargic and she refuses to nurse the males. We lost a whole litter once doing that.” he says once more, circling a hand around my waist.
My heart shatters at the realization of the poor puppy’s fate. “Oh,” I say in defeat, all thoughts from my head dissipating as I stare at the mother.
“I’m afraid we can’t all be pretty things for future High Lords to enjoy,” Eris smirks, nuzzling my neck. “Come, I have one last thing to show you before you leave.”
I nod, following Eris out of the barn, but I don’t leave without one last look at the mother dog in the back kennel. For a second I swear her eyes meet mine and there’s an understanding that we will both share the same fate, breeding vessels for higher powers.
We walk down along the river until we come across a large weeping willow. It appeared to have been there for years as its branches and yellow leaves cascaded down creating a large curtain around it. We had them all over the Sidra of the Night Court, but I had never seen one bear the colors of fall.
“That’s far enough bastard,” Eris curses at Cassian as he pushes back the leafy curtain to allow me in. I try to throw Cassian a fearful look but Eris closes the foliage curtain behind him before I get the chance.
I look up at the branches of the willow, doing my best to avoid Eris’ hungry gaze. The leaves are beautiful as the light of the setting sun shines through them, the slight breeze and the sound of the river flowing next to us made this place its own world.
“I can see why your family chose to keep you locked up for all those years,” Eris chimes, taking a step towards me.
“And why is that?” I say retreating a step, trying to keep my gaze on my surroundings.
“Because every legend I ever heard about your beauty is true,” he smirks, taking another step towards me.
My heart rate quickens and my palms go clammy as I take another step back, “and what do they say about me?” I ask, as if I don’t already know.
Eris chuckles, seemingly happy to recite the prose to me, “Eyes like a storm,” he starts taking another step closer to me.
I feel my bare back hit the bark of the willow and I realize that he has me pinned. He has been hunting me like prey this whole time and I was stupid enough to fall into the trap.
“Hair like threads of silk,” he continued, brushing a hand through my hair. “And skin as soft as rose petals,” he smiles, caressing my cheek. “The Jewel of Prythian and the weakness of every male.”
Eris’ breath fans my cheek as I feel his body press me into the willow tree, “It seems I have a lot to live up to,” I breathe, trying to keep my voice from quivering.
“Hardly.” he says, brushing a stray hair from my cheek. “You’re already the greatest temptation I’ve ever known and I think I’m tired of restraining myself from you.” he growls.
I don’t have a moment to think before his lips are smashing onto mine. My back scrapes against the bark and I know that there will be an angry red mark there when I free myself from Eris’ grasp. His tongue slides into my mouth and I feel my stomach burn. His lips taste vile, like they weren’t made for me, but he seems to be enjoying himself just fine. His hands wander my waist possessively, like I’m nothing more than an object for him to indulge in, though I suppose that’s exactly how he saw me.
Like a saving grace from above, the large bell atop the castle rang out, signaling that it was 7 o’clock, time for me to leave. I manage to push Eris off of me just enough for me to get a word in.
“Prince Eris, it's 7, my brother wants me home,” I say, placing my hands on his chest. My head casts down to where they spread over the expensive fabric of his shirt, the patterns being the only thing keeping me grounded.
“So punctual,” he tuts. “A frustrating quality now, but if things go well for us you’ll make quite the obedient little wife won’t you?” he smirks forcing my chin up so I can meet his domineering gaze.
“Yes of course my prince,” I say timidly.
“Good girl,” he praised, turning my chin to the side. The second the seventh bell chimes, a hand pushes aside the curtain of leaves and I’m relieved at the sight of Cassian.
“Princess it’s time to go,” he says urgently, the voice of a general making an appearance.
“You’re right,” I nod, trying not to look shell shocked. “Until next time Prince Eris,” I say as Eris kisses my hand.
“Until then my little flame,” he smiles.
I step out of the cover of the willow tree and Cassian wastes no time picking me up and shooting into the sky. I immediately feel better the second the wind whips my hair back and I can let go of the breath that I’m holding.
“Do you want me to take you to Rhys?” Cassian asks.
“No, just take me home please,” I reply, trying to hold back my tears.
As if he can sense my eagerness to feel safe in my own home he flaps his wings harder. We spend the entire flight in silence as I try to forget about the taste of Eris on my tongue but it’s impossible. The entire time we’re in the air I’m unable to think of freedom like I normally do. All I can feel is Eris' brand on me, and the second we touch down on the balcony of the House of Wind I feel every emotion I have come to the surface.
“Thank you for the ride,” I say to Cassian. My voice breaks as I turn from his gaze and make my way inside.
“Princess wait!” Cassian calls for me but I don’t turn around, whatever he has to say can wait.
I make a beeline for the kitchen. My tears are falling faster than ever and all I can think is, get his taste out of my mouth, get his taste out of my mouth, get his taste out of my mouth. I waltz over to the liquor cabinet and pull out the first bottle of whiskey I see. It spills a little as I frantically pour it into a glass and shoot it down my throat, the burn washing away any trace of Eris.
“Hey are you okay?” a voice drawls from behind me and I turn to see Cassian in the doorway.
“I’m practically engaged to a monster of course I’m not okay!” I cry shooting down another gulp of whiskey.
“Hey, hey hey,” Cassian coos, crossing the room to take the glass and the bottle from my hand. “It’s okay just breathe.” he says, pulling me into him.
The gesture makes me let go of all my inhibitions as I sob violently into his chest. I can barely breathe through my shallow breaths. I feel Cassian stroke a hand through my hair.
“H-how could s-someone be so terrible?” I sob through my ragged breaths. “Those poor puppies, and their mother? The way he t-touches me? A-and the way he speaks to you? I hate him.”
“Hey don’t worry about me okay? I can take it.” Cassian assures me. “Just take a deep breath for me alright?”
I listen to him and take a long deep breath, the smell of cedar and leather filling my senses calming me down instantly. He instructs me to take another one and I do, this time the heat of the whiskey warming my stomach helps calm me down.
Once I finally have my breathing under control he bends down to look at me, “Now, if we’re going to be drinking whiskey we might as well drink Rhys’ good stuff,” he smiles and for the first time that day I laugh.
“I suppose so,” I chuckle, wiping my tears away.
“That’s the spirit,” Cassian beams as he reaches for the large bottle at the top of the cabinet. He grabs two more glasses and takes them over to the living room.
I follow him and plunk myself down on the couch across from him. He pours us each a glass and raises his own in a toast.
“To old dogs that can learn new tricks,” he laughs referring to the comments made earlier today about him.
I roll my eyes playfully clinking my glass to his and taking a sip, “I’m sorry about that, Eris really is the worst,” I say.
“Then why are you looking to marry him? You know if you went and talked to Rhys right now that he wouldn’t make you do this.” Cassian asks, taking a sip.
I let out a long sigh while swirling the whiskey around my glass, “Because he sacrificed a lot for me under the mountain, I should repay the favor. Besides, he’s right. War is coming and if this is the only thing I can do to keep Velaris safe, and to keep you and Azriel safe then I want to do it.” I explain to him.
“You don’t have to worry about me and Azriel princess, it’s our job to keep you safe,” Cassian says leaning forward, setting his glass on the coffee table.
“I know, I know. You’re big tough Illyrians.” I roll my eyes. “But this is my duty, it’s what my father and mother wanted, it’s what I was made for. I don’t have earth shattering powers like my brother, or siphons and wings like you and Az. This is what I’m good for, and if it keeps my people safe then I’ll show up to woo Eris every single day with a smile on my face.” I say.
There’s a sadness in Cassian’s eyes and I can tell he wants to argue against me but he doesn’t, “You’re braver than most of the Illyrians I know. I think you could give Devlon a run for his money,” he says with sincerity, taking a swig from his drink.
“That might be a bit of an overstatement, though I bet with the right motives I could take him down,” I jest, sipping my drink.
“Now that’s something I would pay to see,” Cassian laughs. A moment of silence ensues before Cassian takes a gold mark out of his back pocket and twirls it in his fingers, “Have you ever played Marks?” he grins.
About an hour passes by and I’m thoroughly engaged in the game Cassian calls Marks. Apparently it’s a game he had been playing with Rhys and Azriel for years. The concept is simple, we both bounce gold marks off the table and try to land them in the glass in front of us. If I make it in the glass before he does, he has to drink and vice versa.
As simple as the game was, I couldn't lie that I was having fun. More fun than I have had in years. Turns out I was much better at Marks than Cassian had anticipated and throughout the hour I had him drinking like a fish.
That’s how Azriel found us, in a room filled with the sound of metal clattering against wood and laughter ringing out from both Cassian and I.
“Cassian, did you teach her how to play marks?�� Azriel mused leaning over the couch next to me to watch.
“I did and it turns out she’s pretty damn good! I think the princess might be able to school you Az.” Cassian taunts.
I hear Azriel scoff beside me, “Oh please, move over and let me show you how it’s done.” he says sitting next to Cassian and picking up a gold mark. I don’t even have a chance to bounce mine before Azirel’s drops into the glass.
“Damn that was good,” I smile downing the last of my drink.
“Don’t worry princess, I'm sure you’ll be as good as me one day,” Azriel boasts proudly leaning back into the couch.
“Whatever Az,” I laugh standing up. “Well I think I’ve had enough to drink for one night. Goodnight you two.” I smile walking down the hall towards my room. I hear Cassian and Azriel bid me goodnight and for the first time in a long time, I go to bed with a smile on my face.
Cassian
A pretty little wall ornament for a future High Lord, just like you are…
You will bear me a son…
You’re already the greatest temptation I’ve ever known and I think I’m tired of restraining myself from you…
You’ll make quite the obedient little wife won’t you?
The things Eris’ said to y/n replay over and over again in my head causing my blood to boil. If it wouldn’t start an all out war I would out his head on a fucking pike and feed the rest of him to his hounds. I can’t stop replaying y/n’s face as she looked at the mother dog. It was clear that she knew that her fate would be the same as the animal. I was so blinded with rage I didn’t dodge Azriel’s punch fast enough feeling his fist connect with the side of my head.
“You’re off your game today brother. Any particular reason why?” Azriel taunts me from across the sparring ring. I didn’t want to admit he was right, but it was obvious my mind was clearly occupied today.
“I’m fine, I just didn’t sleep last night,” I told him, not entirely a lie. Azriel squares up again and I take my stance.
“You sure it doesn’t have anything to do with a certain princess you were sharing drinks with last night?” Azriel teases throwing a punch. I dodge it and throw my whole body into my next punch hating how he teases me about y/n. He dodges it and goes for the low blow knocking me down.
“I can assure you it has nothing to do with her,” I say from where I’m lying on the mat.
Azriel moves to unwrap his hands, seemingly calling it a day for the sparring ring. “Oh c’mon Cass, you’ve been pining for her for years.” he said, reaching out a hand to help me up which I took. “You need to tell her or you’re going to lose her forever.”
“I can’t. I won’t put her in an awkward situation like that, she already has enough on her plate.” I sigh, taking my own wraps off. “Besides she could never love someone like me, she’s a princess and ‘The Jewel of Prythian’ remember? Not to mention Rhys’ little sister. I’m nothing but a bastard born brute.”
“You really think she cares about something like that?” Azriel asks, wiping his face with a towel.
“I don’t have the guts to find out,” I answered sitting down next to him.
“Well if you’re looking for advice-”
“Which I’m not,” I cut Az off.
“But if you were,” he says, clapping a hand on my back. “I would tell her soon. Because if Eris decides that she’s worthy of bearing his sons he’s going to destroy her from the inside out.”
Part 3
Taglist: @crystalferret202 , @nickishadow139 , @graceshifts , @writeroutoftime , @heyyitsnat21,
#cassian x you#cassian angst#cassian smut#cassian acotar#cassian x reader#rhys acotar#rhysand#rhysand x reader#rhysand angst#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#rhysand fluff#rhysand acotar#azriel angst#eris vanserra fluff#eris vanserra smut#eris vanserra x reader#eris vanserra
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Pisscourse drabble inspired by this
Not beta or proofread, btw. it's a shitpost EDIT: AO3 LINK
Arthur was simply trying to take his natural human function and pee. He was staring off into space, letting the fluid flow out of him and into the bowl when he felt something touching his leg. Instinctively, he jolts, moving his body away.
He stops peeing and looks down. He spots a hand, a fair skinned scard hand reaching out to him. It was John, what in the hell does he want. Arthur bats the hand away and asks.
"What, John?"
"...Can you hold my hand." It sounded like more of a demand than a question.
Arthur blinks, looking at the stall wall that separates him and John.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Why."
"It's...scary and feels werid, I don't know how you humans dealt with having this fluid come out of you every day." John says and flexes his hand in a grabbing motion, like a baby wanting to get picked up.
John was like a needy cat, but he never liked doing things alone, including when it came to using the bathroom.
Arthur sighs and places his hand in John's, holding it snug.
"Better?"
"Much."
John says before Arthur hears a concerningly loud stream of piss hit the bowl.
He furrows his brows, "Just how long have you been holding that?"
John's pointer finger twitches, curling itself inward and scratches at the others palm.
"Since I got this body -" a lie.
John sheepishly admits, and Arthur aggressively squeezes his hand.
"What?! How the hell did you not piss on yourself—christ John it's been over a week."
John lets out a full-body shudder and tucks his feet under the toilet seat. His boots dig into the dirty tile floor.
"Okay - not really. The first time was a few days ago when it hurt too much to hold. I washed the clothes and succeeded." John spits out. It was more of a half truth when Oscar found him using fabric softener instead of actual detergent. Oscar actually helped clean and showed him how to wash the clothes properly.
John made(threatened)Oscar swear that he'd never speak a word of this.
"Am I going to have to fucking potty train you? Bloody hell John."
John lets out a werid, sad sound. Something between a dog like whimper and a sigh.
Arthur squeezes his hand once more, gently this time. "Well, it was probably bound to happen eventually. Just do your business and make sure you wipe yourself after." Just like his touch, the tone of Arthur's voice was soft. It reminded John of how he'd talk about Faroe.
John hums and stays silent, the sound of his piss hitting the water echo throughout the bathroom.
Arthur inturn also continues. Thankfully, there's not much left, so he finishes up quickly.
Awkwardly reaching across the stall with his opposite hand, he grabs a thing of toilet paper and rips a small peice off. He dabs the head of his dick with the paper before throwing it into the bowl and flushing.
He hears Johns flow turn into a tirckle before it stops completely. He stays on the toilet seat as he's still holding onto John's hand.
"You done?"
John nods, for a second forgetting thst Arthur can, in fact, not see him before he speaks up.
"I think so? I still feel weird, though..." He trails off. There's something pressing up against his asshole.
Arthur quirks a brow, "Werid how?"
"It feels like something is trying to escape me. There's pressure at my asshole."
Arthur stutters for a second, unable to form sentences in response. There is no way in fucking hell is he going to hold an eldritch entities hand as he shits.
"You're...going number two, taking shit."
"Oh.. Oh. Like that disgusting thing you did?"
"Yup. Now, I unfortunately am not generous enough to sit through this one with you. Just keep pushing until everything is out, John."
Arthur prys his hand away from John's, pulling his boxers and trousers up. Arthur buttons his trousers and fastens his belt.
"But Orthur... I can't do this alone." John whines, attempting to grab Arthur's trouser leg.
"You can, and you will. I'll be outside when you're done, John." Arthur moves away before John could grab him, opening the stall door he makes his way to the sink. He secretly prays that there's no one else coming in.
"Orthur! That's not fair. I need emotional support."
John kicks his feet out and leans back uncomfortably. The pressure is growing stronger.
Arthur begins to wash his hands, ignoring John's pleas and hums a tune.
"How about I send Noel in, hm? I'm sure he'd be more than willing." Arthur offers, John and Noel are close just like them, so it shouldn't be a problem. Hopefully.
John stops his movements, sharp canines bitting at his lips.
"Okay. That's fine. Please tell him to hurry."
Arthur huffs out a muffled laugh and steps out of the bathroom.
thank you to my platonic soulmates @arthur-lesters-tits & @arthur-lesters-slutty-waist for fuelling this. I appreciate you both greatly
#pisscourse#i wrote this during my math class#this is open ended bc#i might write a#shitcourse#fic#🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️#is this my legacy#im proud of myself#uvula writing#uvula yaps#it wasn't supposed to get to this point#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#uvula posting#limb posting#john doe#arthur lesters body parts#malevolent john doe#john doe malevolent#john doe x arthur lester#privateeyes#private eyes#noel finley#charlie dowd#forgive & forget#forgive and forget#shitposting#uvula shitpost
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The Past 💛 Atlas
I enter the break room and immediately see Ash and Lex sitting together in the far corner. Ash gives me the same tight smile that has become his new way of greeting me over the last couple weeks. A reminder that my presence still makes him a little sad. Perhaps if I was a better person, I’d make more of an effort to keep my distance, but I can’t. Since he came into my life, I haven’t been able to imagine a moment where he’s not a part of it.
Lex follows his gaze and looks over to where I stand in the doorway. She waves me over and I nod to her in acknowledgement before walking to the fridge to pull out my lunch. I’m grateful she doesn’t hate me, that she still wants us all to hang out. That first day she stopped me in the hallway to express her disappointment in me, and to describe the ways in which she would kill me and dismember my body (not necessarily in that order) if I ever hurt her best friend again. When she finished saying everything she had to say, she surprised me by wrapping her arms around my waist in a tight hug and telling me, “I love you, but Jesus Christ, get your shit together, will ya?” I hugged her back and told her I was sorry, and that I’d try.
I toss the glass dish containing my usual leftover stir fry into the microwave. Dawn is rarely home these days, and cooking has become monotonous now that it’s just for me, especially considering the nutrition plan Kiyoshi insists we follow while we train. Phoenix recommended a meal delivery service he used for a while. I wasn’t convinced it’s worth the cost, but after eating the same thing four days in a row this week, I might consider trying it.
Once I start the microwave, I turn around to see Ash and Lex sitting across the room in front me. Ash says something that makes him giggle and Lex shakes her head at him, unamused.
I miss his laugh.
I quickly pull out my phone to give me something else to focus on, deciding to busy myself by scrolling through my photos. Mostly scenic shots from Mt. Komorebi, including one of Dawn posing with a snowpal we built last weekend. As I continue scrolling back, Ash’s face suddenly pops up on my screen, making my heart jump. The pictures are from Geek Con. He’d insisted on holding onto my phone while I went to the bathroom, listing a dozen possible disasters that could befall it if I dropped it in the cramped space of the port-o-potty, each one more disgusting than the last until I gave in and handed it to him. It wasn’t until the next day that I saw the reason why. He’d taken a series of selfies with increasingly silly expressions for me to find later, guaranteed to make me laugh.
I smile to myself and look up to steal a glance at him. As usual, he feels my eyes on him and looks up right away.
There’s a part of me that still waits to see the corner of his mouth kick up in a smirk, for him to wink at me, amused at how it embarrasses me and makes me blush. But he doesn’t do this. Not anymore. Instead, he makes eye contact for only a moment and then looks away and continues his conversation with Lex.
I miss his smile.
I slump forward and put my phone away just as the microwave beeps, and then grab my meal to join them at their table. As I slide into the empty seat next to Ash, he turns to me with a quick, but friendly, “Hi,” and then turns back to Lex to continue his story, “So, I chase him halfway down the beach before I finally reach him, and he has a nasty dead fish in his mouth!”
Repulsed, Lex gasps, “Ew!”
“I’m telling you, that dog will eat anything, and what am I gonna do? Pull it from his mouth with my bare hands? No, thank you.”
“So, you let him have it?”
“Of course not, I used a stick to make him drop it, but he’d already eaten some of it. Took a whole five minutes before he started to throw—”
“No,” Lex drops her sandwich and points at him, “Too far, Ash. We’re trying to eat.”
“I’m sorry,” he laughs, holding his hands up in surrender.
I notice, out of the corner of my eye, the way he leans away from me just slightly, keeping his arms and legs tucked into his own space. I’d gotten so used to the way we’d always lean into each other, rest against each other. The way it would put me at ease. I realize now how much I took it for granted, and now it’s gone, leaving behind this empty space between us that feels like a physical thing, an invisible barrier keeping us apart.
I miss him.
The worst part is, I don’t know if it was worth it. Was it even necessary? Or was I overreacting? My nightmares have stopped, but I don’t know what that means. Does it mean that I did the right thing and he’s no longer in danger? Or was it just a stupid dream? Did my anxiety and lack of sleep make me paranoid? Was it a huge mistake, letting him go?
“Atlas? Hello?” Lex pokes at my hand, forcing me out of my thoughts and back into the room with them.
“Sorry, what?”
“Your food doesn’t do you much good if you just stare at it. I think you’re supposed to eat it.”
I give her small smile and stab at a piece of broccoli with my fork, “I guess I’m just not that hungry.”
“Okay, that’s it,” she throws her hands up in exasperation, “this is getting depressing. We all need to get out and have some fun.”
“What do you have in mind?” Ash asks, his tone full of skepticism.
“That new bar in the fashion district has an arcade and a bowling alley.”
“You want to go bowling?”
“Yes! Come on, let’s just go be silly and stupid and have a laugh. Please?”
It’s not a bad idea. I’m a terrible bowler, but it might be a way to get out and relax and joke around again, reclaim a little of what we’ve lost. Especially if there was someone else there to help lighten the mood. “Dawn told me about that place,” I chime in, “I bet she’d want to go.”
“That’s a great idea!” Lex enthuses, “I haven’t seen Dawn in forever. What do you say, Ash?”
He hesitates for what feels like an eternity before saying, “Alright. I’m in.”
I’m flooded with relief as I look over at him. He gives me a sideways glance and rolls his eyes, “Fuckin’ bowling,” and then looks back at Lex, “I will kick your ass though.”
“Pfff I’d like to see you try!”
I feel uncharacteristically optimistic as the two of them carry on, and I turn my attention back to my food, my appetite suddenly returning with a vengeance.
Prev // Next
#ts4#ts4 simblr#ts4 story#sims 4#sims 4 storytelling#sims 4 challenge#starsignchallenge#starsignlegacychallenge#gen1 aries#aries pt4#past#atlas stephens#asher goode#lex mcphee
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Just so other Americans know, service dogs do *not* need to be wearing gear that says "service animal", nor do they need papers, nor training from any specific entity.
All they need is training to do at least *one* task that serves to aid an individual with their disability. That's it. This training can come from anyone, anywhere, you can even train them yourself, that right is specifically noted by the ADA.
They must be well behaved and 100% under control, and potty trained. If they are at all disruptive to others in either regard, they can be asked to leave, and you must comply, though you can come back without the animal. A fear of dogs or allergy to dogs is not a valid reason for someone to turn you away. Patrons must be accommodated, both those with the dogs, and those with the related issues. You may not be isolated or otherwise treated differently from other patrons.
People working can ask only two questions to confirm that the dog is a service animal:
(1) is the dog a service animal required because of a disability, and
(2) what work or task has the dog been trained to perform.
That's it. If you refuse to answer, you will be asked to leave, and you must comply. These two questions are the only questions that you *must* answer, any others are not allowed: they cannot ask about the person’s disability, require medical documentation, require a special identification card or training documentation for the dog, or ask that the dog demonstrate its ability to perform the work or task.
You will still be charged for any damages caused by the animal.
Hope that clears up the many misunderstandings I see. I have a service dog, and I'm happy to answer any other questions anybody might have about how this whole thing works.
Thanks for reading, here's a sleepy dog tax as a reward for making it this far.
#service animal#service dog#dog#my dog#doggo#ada#Americans with disabilities act#disability#disabled#psa
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Plushy Surgery
Did the puppy get to your favorite plushy when you weren’t paying attention?
A/N: this is a very real thing that just happened to me I swear I was sobbing. My Jack Russell (bless his heart) thought that my weighted pink Dino was one of his toys and now my Dino is missing a tail. So poor Strawberry Lemonade will have to be a brave boy and go into surgery. Anyway! Enough of my oversharing!
Kirishima x Fem! Reader
I can do more parts with more characters!
You and your husband had recently gotten an Australian Shepard named Riot. He was a cute puppy, don’t get me wrong! But, he was very mischievous as well.
It had been about 4 months and he was doing very well with his potty training. There was a few mishaps here and there but all it was at this point was just you and Kirishima trying to find out his schedule and what times he particularly likes to go outside.
Riot was basically you guys child. You two didn’t have kids yet so he was the perfect first step until you two decided you were ready to discuss that topic. But because Riot was the puppy son of pro hero Red Riot and his spoiled little wife, that meant Riot got spoiled rotten. Any toy, treat, or accessories you wanted him to have is what he got. He had a little basket full of bandanas to wear and he even had his own little pajamas and a shark bath towel!
But nothing could compare to the massive bucket of toys that sat in your living room. That dog was living the absolute dream, a big house with a pool and a huge backyard, all of the meat and treats he could ever want, and any dog toy he could think of was right at the tip of his paw!
Riot was so well behaved! Well… most of the time…
You we’re cooking up some chicken and rice for dinner and according to the time on your phone it was 7:30 so that meant it was 30 minutes until your husband got off of work.
You were a bit nervous about leaving Riot slightly unsupervised while you cooked but it had to get done! You turned bluey on in the living room and you thought he would stay still because he loves that show. But Riot was learning how to climb the stairs as of recently so you were keeping your ears open for that.
As you checked on the rice you heard and felt your phone buzzing on the counter next to you. As you glanced over at the screen you saw that it was your husband. Of course, you always thought the worst so you immediately picked up.
“Kiri?” You inquired as you picked up the phone fearing it was one of his sidekicks and he had gotten into an accident or something
“Hi baby!” He spoke cheerfully “I’m alright! I hear the tone of your voice” he reassures you
“Oh ok” you breathe out in relief “So what’s up?” You ask him as you keep an eye on the stovetop
“Well I ran out of body soap last night and I was going to pick some up on my lunch break but I was swamped with paperwork” he tells you “So essentially what I’m asking is do you need anything while I’m at the store?”
“Oh I could’ve picked it up for you” you tell him “But actually, I’m running low on my sugar scrub can you pick one up for me?” You ask
“Of course baby! I’ll see you soon! I love you and Riot!”
That’s when your stomach dropped. Riot…
You hadn’t heard him walking around the kitchen looking for scraps
“Okay! We love you too!” You quickly hang up the phone and call out for the puppy “Riot?!” You peer into the living room bluey was on the tv but there was no sign of Riot.
“Riot!” You called out once again and you heard his paws practically jumping down the staircase to see his mommy. “Oh there you are” you sighed in relief “Wait.. what do you have in your mouth?!” You saw a indigo fabric that looked all too familiar
You got him to give you the piece of fabric and then you dashed up the stairs only to find that you had left your bedroom door open and your beloved shark… the one Eijirou had bought for you for your first Valentine’s Day together… it was slightly destroyed…
It was missing a fin that you were holding and it’s tail was halfway hanging off of his body. Your stomach was a pit as you picked up all of the stuffing and the pieces of small fabric off of the hardwood floor.
You brought it back downstairs and showed Riot what he had done and boy did he look guilty! As much as you hated to be stern with him, he wasn’t going to learn otherwise.
“Riot no! This is not Riot’s Toy!” You scolded him as you walked over to the toy basket “This is Riot’s toy!” You firmly state as you hand him a plush of a popsicle with a squeaker
You quickly bagged up all of the pieces to poor Mr Cuddles and continued to work on dinner. It was on low heat so luckily, nothing burned. You couldn’t help but notice how the un-involuntarily tears pricked your eyes.
Some people would say “it’s just a stuffed animal” but it wasn’t just a stuffed animal. It was an object that you cherished and loved. It had sentimental value.
As you began to plate the food and get drinks out of the fridge you heard the front door become unlocked and opened followed by Riot’s happy barking and squealing signaling that his father was home
“Hey gorgeous” he set his grocery bags down on the countertop and urgently came to kiss your lips as if he hadn’t done that just before he left for work. To be fair, it felt like an eternity being away from you.
“Hey” you tried your best to mask your sadness but of course he saw right through that. Could you blame him? You two had been together for almost 10 years now and married for 5 of them.
“What’s wrong?” He gently tilted your head to look up at him with a warm smile. “Well Riot broke Mr. Cuddles” you tell him as you point to the bag that was holding the contents of your stuffed shark
“Oh I see” he examined the broken plush “I’m sorry that happened” he pulled you into an embrace. “Tell you what, I’ll make some calls and we’ll get this fixed” he rubbed your back and you nodded in response
“Let’s eat” you smile at him “You’re probably hungry from saving the city all day” you pat his forearm as you hand him his plate to take to the dining room
Kirishima had gotten ahold of Bakugo and he was fortunately willing to fix it. Growing up with his mom as a fashion designer had its perks.
“Hey man” you hear your redhead husband talking to his best friend on the phone.
“What do you want it’s 10 o’clock!” The blonde scolded his friend
“Yeah I know it’s past your bedtime but I need a huge favor” he pleaded with Bakugo
After a deep sigh from the blonde he responded “go ahead”
“Thanks man! Can you sew good?” Kirishima inquired and the ash blonde laughed
“Can I sew? Is your hair unnatural? I’ll answer that for you! Yeah I can fucking sew and I’m pretty damn good at it!”
“Awesome! The dog got to (Name)’s plush and it desperately needs to be fixed. I’ll pay you!”
“No, shut up, there’s no need for that. Just drop it off in my office tomorrow morning and I’ll fix it on my lunch break”
———————————
After cleaning up dinner, getting showered, and ready for bed you two could finally settle down for the night. “Riot come up” Eijirou patted the bed and made kissy noises for the puppy to jump onto the king bed. After spinning in a few circles he finally settled down.
“Goodnight honey” you smile and kiss Eijirou as you turn off your bedside lamp. “Goodnight sweet girl” he smiles and turns his off as well.
As you turned over to sleep you felt Kirishima grab his phone off of his nightstand. It was a habit of his to go on his phone before bed and you didn’t mind but you knew that could never work for you. You needed to distance yourself from the phone if you wanted to get some rest.
But something just felt wrong. You weren’t holding onto your shark. To be fair, you had slept with it for almost ten years now. You tried to subtly get comfortable but you just couldn’t. You knew you couldn’t sleep with it, it was broken and you didn’t want to risk breaking it even more in your sleep.
“I can’t sleep” you sigh out into the open as you turn your head around to look at your husband who just smiles and shakes his head while grabbing the remote “come cuddle and watch some tv maybe that’ll make you sleepy” he pulls you close to him so that you’re laying your head on his chest “I’m probably not as good as Mr Cuddles but I assure you, I’m the next best thing” he rubs your back gently
“You’re the best” you smile at him as you feel yourself becoming sleepy
#anime#bnha#my hero academia#mha kirishima#mha bakugou#eijiro kirishima#kirishima x reader#domestic kirishima#pro hero#my hero academy fanfiction#kirishima fluff#kirishima x you#kirishima eijirou#bnha eijiro kirishima#bnha kirishima#kirishima x fem!reader#x reader
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Human Caretaker/ Monster- hybrid - pet Whumpee. I got the idea while putting a diaper on my dog. He is old and incontinent, so he uses diapers.
Whumpee hid shyly in the corner as they heard Caretaker walking into the room.
"Oh my. It smells in here. Did we have another accident?", Caretaker switched on the light.
Whumpee looked over themself with embarrassment and nodded. They held their head in shame.
"Did you pee while you were napping?", Caretaker approached them.
Whumpee shyly nodded again and tried to tuck farther into the corner.
"It's alright, accidents happen. We are still learning the potty cues, but it's harder to feel it when you sleep", Caretaker gently patted Whumpee's head, "let's get this, and you cleaned up. This is why you stay in this room, so accidents happen safely and can be easily cleaned. You remember that right?"
Whumpee quickly nodded and looked around. The room was larger than anything they had before. No cage doors or electric fences. Just the one rule to stay in there, and Caretaker trusted them to follow it.
Whumpee was a good pet. They would obey the rule for their kind Master.
Whumpee was happy when they saw that Caretaker wasn't mad at them.
They followed Caretaker quietly as they went about cleaning the floor.
"My, you had a lot in you", Caretaker commented as they worked at soaking up the mess, "I guess you are fairly large in size, so it makes sense that you have a larger bladder."
Whumpee cocked their head to the side as Caretaker talked. How they wished to be able to communicate with them.
"Well today was your bath day. Your fur looks a little damp, so you must have gotten into it. Even waking up in the puddle I imagine", Caretaker continued, "lets get a bath done now. You'll be nice and clean then."
Whumpee nodded quickly. They loved bath time.
"I do have something I would like to try with you. We can try it until you are fully potty trained. You have left several messes now. I'm not mad, but this is a lot of pee to keep cleaning", Caretaker sighed, "you may not like it though."
'Anything... anything to make me a better pet for my new master', Whumpee's inner thoughts pleaded, 'anything not to be taken back.'
Whumpee gently bumped their head into Caretaker's arm.
"Alright we will give it a try", Caretaker rubbed Whumpee's snout.
Caretaker set a bag on the table and watched as Whumpee came over.
"Alright, let's try it", Caretaker pulled out a pack.
Whumpee sniffed it a few times.
'What is it?', Whumpee thought to themself. They looked up at Caretaker curiously and whined.
As if reading their mind, Caretaker booped Whumpee's nose.
"These are called diapers, and I'm hoping they fit you", Caretaker sighed, "they are human diapers. Pet diapers are too small. I will have to make a hole for your tail."
Whumpee looked at the pack again.
"Do you promise to let me try this? No teeth Whumpee", Caretaker frowned, "you'll have to be patient."
Whumpee quickly nodded.
"Alright", Caretaker started to open the pack and pulled one out.
Whumpee stood sideways to offer Caretaker a full view of their body.
"Good Whumpee", Caretaker cooed as they unfolded the diaper.
To say it felt weird was an understatement. Whumpee felt shivers up and down their spine every time they moved a muscle and felt the papery fabric move along their lower body. They wanted to run and buck it off.
'Be a good pet', Whumpee sat up on their hind legs and looked down. The diaper covered everything.
"Do you want to try one out? I'm curious at how much it will hold", Caretaker had put the rest of the diapers away, but pulled out a second diaper, "come over to your litter corner so I can shovel up any leaks."
Whumpee followed Caretaker to a corner of the room. A tarp lay on the floor and it was full of kitty litter. This was where Whumpee was supposed to potty. This or outside.
Whumpee looked at Caretaker weirdly.
"Go potty", Caretaker ordered softly.
Whumpee attempted, but was embarrassed at the request.
"Come on, I know you have to. You haven't gone for a while", Caretaker started to message Whumpee's floppy ears.
Whumpee bumped their head into Caretaker's chest and kept it there while their ears were massaged.
Caretaker knew it was a quick way to get Whumpee to relax enough. This was how Whumpee had their first accident.
Whumpee moaned happily as their head laid into Caretaker's chest.
Caretaker hummed until they finally heard liquid spilling.
Caretaker chuckled, "works like a charm."
Whumpee looked up sadly, then down at the droopy diaper. This felt gross and soggy. Even worse than what the diaper felt like when it was dry.
"Hmm, a couple of drips are coming out, but not bad at all", Caretaker inspected, "I might just stick a pad in the diaper as well to help soak up everything."
Whumpee whined.
Caretaker nodded in understanding and started to take it off.
"What do you think? Can this be something to try for a little while until you're potty trained? Maybe you'll have to sleep in them after that", Caretaker carried the used diaper to the trash bin, "maybe we can even have you venture into the other parts of the house. I know you would like to follow me around more often."
Whumpee looked down over themself while Caretaker talked.
'This is kind of embarrassing, but if I could be around you more often... I'd do anything', Whumpee whined and nudged into Caretaker's side.
Caretaker took it as a yes.
"Alright, we will start tomorrow", Caretaker happily petted Whumpee's head, "who's my good pet. I'm so happy I rescued you."
Whumpee nodded, 'me too.'
"Come on out Whumpee", Caretaker called from the hall.
Whumpee had just gone to the bathroom and now wore one of the diapers. They had worn one through the night with no accidents.
Whumpee shyly looked at them before crawling into the hall. Caretaker watched as Whumpee's hind legs stretched out weirdly.
"I suppose you will have to get use to walking in those", Caretaker hid a grin at how silly Whumpee looked.
Whumpee followed Caretaker like a second shadow. Caretaker purposely went throughout their entire home so Whumpee could see everything.
Whumpee tiredly trudged into their room an plopped down.
Caretaker followed behind them.
"Wow you didn't have any accidents", Caretaker felt the diaper, "you did so good."
Whumpee was so tired they could only wag their tail.
"Such a good pet. I'm sure you are ready for a nap. I'll wake you up for dinner", Caretaker knelt down and stroked Whumpee's head, "you are so good for me."
Whumpee looked up at them longingly.
'Anything for you', Whumpee thought as they slowly blinked, 'my kind Master."
Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.
@villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived
@sacredwrath @porschethemermaid
@monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz
@bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13
@notpeppermint @cyborg0109
@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots
@whumpbump @everythingsscary
@skittles-the-whumpee @expressionless-fr
@theforeverdyingperson @legendarydelusiongoatee
@candleshopmenace @whumpanthems
@lavndvrr @ivymyers
@starfields08000 @a-living-canvas
@lumpofsand @watermeezer
@indigoviolet311 @whumpy-mountains
@3-2-whump @risk606
@electrons2006 @paperprinxe
@whumprince @kaz-of-crows
@mis-graves @decaffeinatedtimetraveler94
@sausages-things @ragin-cajun-fangirl
@isikedmyself878 @daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud
@valravnthefrenchie @glennemerald
@jasperthecapser @does-directions
@deafeninglittlecrown @jumpywhumpywriter
@blackbirdsinatrenchcoat @mylifeisonthebookshelf
@thenormalestever @whatwhump
@galatic-worm @starmoon-constellation
#whump community#whump stuff#whump writing#whump ideas#whump scenario#whump#whumper#whumpee#caretaker#caretaker and whumpee#monster whumpee#pet whumpee#pet whump
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kep report card, month 4! how is he 6 months old already that is absurd.
food (drive, appetite, sensitivity): 🟢 hongry
leash walking: 🟡/🟢 he's gotten pully on the harness, takes a few minutes of stop-start before he remembers to not do that. is good on a collar though.
sleeping: 🟢 - gotten a lot better about sleeping during the day, i think bc it's been hot so he's just too tired to fuss much.
crating: 🟢/🟡 - i THINK he's doing ok about day crating, i need to buy another camera so i can make sure but he doesn't seem nearly as worked up when i get home as he used to. hopefully the hugelarge crate + new position + age has helped.
potty training: 🟢/🔴 great everywhere except. my goddamn living room. i'm going insane about it.
general training: 🟢 honor roll student
manners: 🟡 still countersurfs and jumps on people a lot, we're working on it.
grooming: 🟢/🟡 tolerant of nails, ears, and bathing with a distraction. getting fussy about brushing, which, too fuckin bad my guy.
cars: 🟢 no complaints
outings/socialization: 🟢 loves going on adventures
other dogs: 🟢/🟡 great with stellina, he has finally learned bite inhibition and how to take subtle "not interested" signals. still a little hyper-focused on strange dogs but not unexpected for his breed/age.
other people: 🟢 a strangers just a bestie you haven't met yet
small animals: 🟢 being very good with the kitty, very enthralled by small critters but doesn't seem frantic or aggressive.
*exciting new category* puberty: leaving this one un-graded bc i don't think it's hit him yet lol. i haven't seen him do any marking or any behaviors that would indicate that he's gotten a big dose of testosterone yet, but now is about the time so we shall see.
overall still doing great, some very generic annoyances (e.g. jumping, fussing about brushing, etc) but generally he's easy to live with, as expected. if i could just actually housebreak him i would be sooo happy but that's really the only thing that i think he's behind on.
also have had some other ppl ask if they can use this format for their own puppies: yes by all means please do! i didn't invent using emoji buttons lol and i do think it's helpful for me to look back on and track development.
#he is a very easy puppy (as expected of a companion breed from a good breeder) and i like him A Lot#just need to stay on top of things and hope puberty doesnt hit him like a freight train like it did for stellina#longhaired dogs are great tho bc its like. does he have balls? is he neutered? i'll simply never know#schrodingers balls#kepcollie
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Chris Pine loves being a dog dad!
In an exclusive conversation with PEOPLE, the actor and director, 44, opens up about his love of his pets — two rescue dogs and two other canines he is fostering.
Highlighting some of his favorite parts of owning dogs — including "morning cuddles" — Pine says, "It's myriad, small little things throughout the day, where they make you smile because they do something ridiculous."
"The love that you have with your animals is profound and heart-opening. Then, the practice of that heart opening over time, I can't help but think that it bleeds into your life elsewhere," he continues.
"It just makes you more capable of loving, I think. My dogs have continued to teach me a lot," adds Pine, who recently released his first children's book, When Digz the Dog Met Zurl the Squirrel: A Short Tale About a Short Tail.
According to Pine, he became a pet owner for the first time when he was a young child growing up with his dad, fellow actor Robert Pine, and his mom, Gwynne Gilford.
"When I was seven, my parents took me to adopt a dog, and so we got Lucy," he explains. "She was a small dog, and I had her from when I was seven until I was [in my 20s]."
After Lucy's death, Pine says he was left heartbroken. "I was studying abroad that year, and I remember my parents calling me and telling me my dog had died, and it was shattering," he explains.
"Then I went 15 years without a dog. I was traveling a lot, working and starting my career, but then I got Wednesday, and really, it's no hyperbole to say how that she's taught me everything about love and patience and kindness," Pine continues of his rescue pup. "She's just changed my life."
Pine tells PEOPLE he now questions why he went over a decade without another furry friend in his life. "I was like, 'Why did I waste so much time?' " he says.
And while he notes that he isn't a parent, the Don't Worry Darling star says raising a pet has prepared him for that role, should he ever choose to take it on.
"There's so much mutual learning in some regard," he explains. "It's like, you have to teach a dog how to live in a house and how to teach a dog to be potty-trained, and you have to teach a dog what they can and can't do."
"You're also learning about patience," Pine continues. "If they rip up a couch, how do you deal with that and how do you treat them with kindness instead of anger?"
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you're super into dogs right? you happen to know what about puppy care is true? I suddenly have to take care of one and everything I look up says something different
im not an expert but i do have some general good advice:
rewards and exposure to stimuli are very important! the sooner your puppy is introduced to other people, other dogs, and being carried/touched/handled, the calmer they will be growing up. my own dog (coco) unfortunately had a bad run-in with some crusty white dogs as a puppy, so shes more timid than other dogs her size. on the other hand she was pet a lot and bathed & brushed often, so as she grew older she became more patient to tugging and baths and learned to be more vocal when she is stressed. if your dog is very food-motivated (ex: a labrador) training them will be very rewarding in the future as long as you are strict to rewarding them when they do tricks 100% and not 90% or 80%. this also has its own troubles with more independently minded dogs (gsheps, huskies, some mixes) as they could be neutral about food and would likely be smart enough to decide Not to follow you. not sure what advice to give in this situation specifically but congratulations on loving your petty dog
you have to be very patient. please. yelling or hurting them will only make them scared of you, which will hurt how they interact with the general world. despite how cute they are puppies are also fucking horrendous - the first few nights we got coco we didnt prepare a room for her so i was tormented by shit fumes when she slept in my room. be prepared to be grossed out. if youre clean-obsessed (like me) it helps to have an extra room / to makeshift a small pen where your dog can sleep for the night without you worrying about it shitting and peeing all over the place. they will also bite like crazy once they get into their teen stages. what worked for me personally was buying a plunger so that coco can go hog wild on chewing one specific thing instead of other furniture. i heard from others that if you mimic a hurt noise the puppy will learn to stop biting you, since the sound of pain tends to come across in communication.
consistent feeding time can help with toilet training. if you feed your dog earlier in the evening and go to bed after they went to the bathroom, it reduces their chances for accidents and can help adjust their bowels for potty training.
again, this is just my experience! some nice dog channels i follow are modernmalinois (for dog training videos - the owner recently got a litter of puppies so it might help to see how he treats them), will atherton (lots of videos - i linked a puppy training video specifically), and girlwiththedogs (dog groomer - just really good if you want to see a lot of different personalities and behaviors)
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Could you do a Lance blurb where him and the reader give a puppy after Addalynn and Margot beg them after they were spending a day with Chloe and Scotty and their dog
Note: this is also partly inspired on how me and my family got one of our dogs a few years ago!
"Bauer!", the girls yelled as they ran into Chloe and Scotty's garden, following the dog as he ran around the grass with one of his toys. That's how it started as when you were making your way back home, Margot started angling for a dog, "it would be so cute, mummy! We could play with him and we'd always have company!", she reasoned.
"A dog is a lot of work, princess, it's not just the good parts of having another friend. They need showers, food at regular times, time in the garden to go potty, training", you explained as Lance nodded, "it's not something you get just because you want one - as isn't anything else in life", your husband offered.
The subject stayed there until one of the team members, James, told you about a litter his neighbour had and while they had buyers for all of the male puppies, no one wanted the female puppies and he didn't have space for all of them once they grew up. Because James had been looking for a good family dog since he and his partner had welcomed a baby into their family recently, he was showing the pictures of the black labrador asleep next to the crib, "my neighbour still has another two puppies - and he's giving them for free because he can't keep all of them. People made reservations for them, but the minute he told them they were female, the clients called it off", he explained. You and Lance shared a look before asking James for his neighbour's phone number, scheduling a visit to the puppies.
The brown labrador caught your eye first as she stood in the corner of the living room, "hey, sweet girl, come here", you cooed soflty, offering her your hand to sniff so she could get comfortable, sitting on the floor as you heard Colin, James' neighbour, talk and explain the situation to Lance, "I just want them to have a good family to take care of them and love them - and realistically, I can't do that", he added.
The brown puppy stomped to you, little legs walking up to your lap and curling up there, "Oh, Lance!", you cooed at the sight, knowing he didn't need to say much to convince you to bring her home with you.
"Girls!", you called as you walked into the house, "come to the garden quickly, please!", you said as you let the dog sniff her new home.
"What is it mu- oh, look Margot!", Addalynn said as she saw the puppy in the grass, "it the dog ours?", she asked hopeful.
"Yes", Lance encouraged them to approach you and the brown labrador, the girls cooing and squealing startling her before she sniffed them.
"Daddy, we're going to call her Juno!", Addalynn smiled as she petted the dog on her sister's lap
"Sounds lovely, sweet girl! I'm sure she loves it!", Lance smiled as he flashed her a thumbs up, "Even the dog in this house is a girl", he chuckled as he hugged you from your back, hands resting on your growing tummy, the round bump now obvious.
"What can I say, handsome, you were made to be a girl dad!", you kissed his cheek as he rested his chin on your shoulder as you watched your girls play with the new family member.
(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)
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The 10 Reasons Why Puppies Are Secretly Running the World (And Why We Should Let Them)
Let’s be honest—puppies are the true masterminds behind global affairs, and we're all just too distracted by their fluffy cuteness to notice. But what if I told you that behind those innocent eyes is a grand scheme to dominate our lives, one belly rub at a time? Here’s the hard-hitting truth you didn’t know you needed.
1. Puppy Eyes Are a Form of Mind Control
When puppies give you those big, soulful eyes, it’s not just adorable—it’s powerful. That look is their way of bending you to their will. "Oh, you wanted to binge-watch your favorite show? Not anymore. You’re now committed to three hours of fetch."
2. Puppies Are Training Us, Not the Other Way Around
We all think we’re teaching puppies basic commands like "sit" or "stay," but who’s really learning here? Let’s face it—you’re the one who’s been trained to dish out treats every time they do something mildly cute.
3. They’ve Perfected the Art of Distraction
If you think about it, every time something big happens in the world, a puppy video goes viral. Coincidence? I think not. Those little fluffballs are out there working overtime to keep us mesmerized while they pull the strings behind the scenes. Suddenly, all our world’s problems seem a little less pressing when you’re watching a puppy struggling to climb the stairs.
4. Puppy Cuteness Is a Form of Currency
Forget dollars and bitcoin—the real valuable asset is a puppy's cuteness. It’s like they have a never-ending supply of adorability that we just keep investing in. Think about how many times you’ve bartered your time and dignity just to pet a puppy. Now multiply that by the number of humans who’ve done the same. That’s a lot of transactions.
5. Sleep Is for the Weak—Or So Puppies Tell Us
Puppies operate on their own sleep schedule, and if you happen to live with one, guess what? You do too now. They’ll have you up at 3 a.m. for an emergency potty break and then decide 7 a.m. is the perfect time to chew on your favorite shoes. They're slowly breaking down our resistance, one interrupted REM cycle at a time.
6. Puppies Can Get Away with Anything
Let’s be real: if you tracked muddy paw prints across the carpet, you'd get yelled at. If a puppy does it, you’ll probably just say something like, “Oh, you’re such a little rascal, aren’t you?” They’ve figured out how to bypass consequences entirely. This is a skill that even top politicians have yet to master.
7. Puppy Barking Is Basically Free Speech
When a puppy barks, it doesn’t matter what they’re saying—it’s automatically important. They could be barking at a leaf, a shadow, or nothing at all, and you’ll still respond like it’s a matter of national security. “What is it, buddy? What do you see?” Congratulations, you’ve just been manipulated into giving a full reconnaissance briefing to a creature who thinks its reflection is another dog.
8. The Conspiracy of "Puppy Breath"
There’s no logical explanation for why puppy breath smells the way it does. It’s like a magical potion designed to render us powerless. You can’t say no to a puppy when it gives you that breathy little lick on your cheek. It’s probably laced with some form of hypnotic agent. We’ll never know.
9. They’re Slowly Reducing Our Productivity
Puppies have mastered the art of looking so cute that you forget what you were doing in the first place. You sit down to work, but then you glance over and see your puppy sleeping in a cute little ball. An hour later, you’re still watching it twitch in its sleep, and your deadlines are nothing but a distant memory. Puppies: 1, Productivity: 0.
10. World Domination Through Social Media
Puppies are the real influencers, and we’re all just living in their world. The moment a puppy appears in a photo or video, it automatically gets 1,000 more likes than anything else you’ve ever posted. They’ve figured out how to monopolize our social media feeds, making us willingly share their images and videos with the rest of the world. It’s only a matter of time before the internet is 100% puppy content, and honestly, we’re okay with it.
In Conclusion: Let the Puppies Win
At this point, it’s clear that puppies are already running the world—they’re just doing it in a way that makes us think we’re still in charge. And you know what? Maybe that's for the best. After all, a world full of belly rubs, spontaneous naps, and unconditional love doesn’t sound too bad. So go ahead, let the puppies take over. Maybe world peace is just a puppy cuddle away.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a puppy video I need to watch for, uh, research purposes.
#dogs#pets#cute#puppies#adorable#world domination#too cute#funny#comedy#humour#writing humor#funny stuff#funny post#hilarious#true#🤣#🐕#🐕dogs#🐕 humor
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