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rose-morose · 6 days ago

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well gang, I thinks it's time we had another chat about Kit from Jentry Chau vs the Underworld

this will be a lot less serious than the last post I made, it's less of an analysis and more just me gushing about how neat Chinese mythology is and my love of how it's portrayed in the show

if you only read one of my posts today, you should make it that one which can be found here

there is another post that someone else made about Kit and how his winged portrayal in the intro relates to Chinese mythology that you should totally check out and you can find it here

anyways...

(long spoilers under the cut as per usual)

I'm gonna preface this by mentioning that I am an aroace adult and I mostly hang out with queers, so I find most allo(especially teen hetero allo)romantic relationships to be cringe and weird, so when people are saying that the romance in this show is poorly written, I don't really see any difference between it and other romantic writing so I'll just defer to the popular opinion in this case

anyways, regardless of the quality of the romance, there is one point that everyone seems to agree on, and that is that Kit's violent and threatening behaviour towards Jentry after she rejects him in favor of Michael is seemingly uncharacteristic and entirely out of left field

now personally, I mostly agree and don't necessarily think that it was the best writing choice for his character, but I do think there is a pretty good explanation for this portrayal

so for those of you who don't know, painted skin is not a type or classification of demon in Chinese mythology nor is it the name of a demon, it is instead a reference to a short story titled "畫皮", which in English directly translates to "painted skin" where a single unnamed demon disguises itself as different humans by wearing painted skin over its demonic form

so a quick summary of the story is that a man finds an attractive homeless woman and agrees to let her stay with him and they have sex, his wife is upset by this affair but he won't change his mind, then one day he finds the door to his home locked, but when peering through a window he sees the pretty woman's skin with attractive features painted on to it separate from a horrible ghoul looking monstrous demon, the man panics and gets a charm to ward off demons from a Taoist priest but it doesn't work, enraged by the man's attempt to ward it off the demon kills him and rips out his heart, it then flees and pretends to be an elderly servant where the man's wife and the Taoist priest find it and kill it, then the man's wife brings him back to life somehow

now Kit's character being based off this story would of course draw many parallels between him and the demon from the story

he is seductive and manipulative, he is afraid of showing his true form, he pretends to be an attractive human to get what he wants, he becomes enraged when he isn't accepted, he dies at the end of the story, and he has historically killed people that do not accept him because he isn't human

setting his character aside, if you were purely going for a parallel to the original story, Kit's enraged and violent behaviour towards Jentry actually makes a lot of sense

however in this case, Kit is not exactly the same as the demon from the story, he is motivated by a want to be human, despite the fact that he has killed humans for centuries his method of killing is far less gruesome and impulsive, he requires qi from other living creatures to survive, he doesn't turn to smoke when he dies, he (mostly) voluntarily reveals his true form to Jentry, he never physically harms Jentry, and he does have actual feelings for Jentry (I actually can't remember if the original demon had feelings for the man but I don't think it did)

so while his behaviour makes sense when drawing parallels to the story, not having the context of the story and solely relying on information from the show makes it seem completely out of nowhere

and like I said, I think the show probably should have made this one of the parallels of the story that they ignored and it would have been better for his character to not be this toxic, but it doesn't ruin the show and is laregely resolved (but not necessarily justified or made up for) by Kit's sacrifice to save Jentry's life

additionally, since the original short story is the only recorded case of a demon wearing painted skin, I'm not sure if Kit is supposed to be the original demon or not

the demon's death at the end of the story would imply otherwise, but the fact that Kit has lived for centuries would place him in the right timeline for being the same demon, and the implication that it seems like he is the only one of his kind (I don't think his "parents" were meant to be painted skin demons but then again there is an entire painted skin entry in gugu's bestiary so maybe he isn't the only one) leaves no other options, and this all seems especially plausible if the story teller was exaggerating true events

and while the story demon is largely femme presenting in contrast to Kit's typical masc presentation (even in demon form), his ability to change his voice and appearance to match Jentry would imply that gender identity and sex are not limiting factors to his transformation

anyways I just thought it was a fun thing to think about, and it could explain certain writing choices that made less sense to the audience

I just love Chinese mythology and I love this show and how it uses that mythology to create complex and interesting stories and characters

not to mention the fact that I love the subversion of the "femme fatale"/"sexually promiscuous women are evil" trope/theme by instead making a (seemingly) male character also seductive and able to use his attractive features to manipulate people, and the idea that seductive and manipulative people are shown to in fact also be people that have their own complex motivations and dilemmas and who, despite their selfish behaviour, are not inherently "evil"

I mean, Kit even uses his looks to manipulate the fandom into not examining his character in an objective light /lh (just a joke please don't hurt me)

honeymoon phase still isn't over, so I still won't be examining this show quite in an objective light yet, but maybe one day...

anyways, thanks for putting up with my rambling, I love any opportunity to educate people on Chinese culture and mythology and this show is the perfect excuse to do just that

#jentry chau vs the underworld spoilers #jcvtu kit #jentry chau spoilers #jentry chau vs the underworld #jentry chau kit #jcvtu spoilers #painted skin #chinese mythology #rose rambles

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polarisbibliotheque · 6 months ago

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Hii!! so i just want to say first that i love love the way you write dmc fanfics. The way you just understand them, makes all their action seem like something they'd do. And well, if it doesn't bother you, may I ask a few advices on how to write Vergil, young and current? I'm trying to write a story and I think your input would be very helpful since you're probably the most accurate Vergil writer there is. Thank you andI just want to say that your fics helped me out a lot mentally. Thank you for bringing the characters to life 🫶

You just left me floored, loved to death, giggling like a 7 year old in public, and I thank you wholeheartedly for that 🖤🖤

First of all, thank you SO much for your words - and wow, I am absurdly flattered that you think so highly of me as a writer, really! I mean, I'm just writing my crazy shenanigans here, I don't expect much hahahaha words like yours make my day and, honestly, you made my whole week!

I am SO happy what I write helped you mentally. I do write to help myself in that regard too, and seeing I was able to have an impact on someone else, it makes everything worth it. That's what Dante would have wanted :')

Asking me for advice doesn't bother me AT ALL! Feel free to ask anytime you want it - by all means I see myself as someone so good as to give advice, but I've gained some experience and it's always good to share! Maybe I'll say something that makes sense to you!

So, without further ado, a few advices on writing Vergil - young and current - down the cut 'cause I haven't written it yet, but knowing myself, I know it's gonna be big :)

(spoiler: it's huge *puts on fool hat and jingles away*)

I sprinkled some things here and there about Dante and Vergil on this blog, but I think it'll be nice putting it all together in one place!

I recently got an ask about which MBTI personality I think it's Dante and Vergil, and there's a LOT on BOTH of their characters in there. You can find it here.

(I won't repeat the things I wrote there, 'cause oh boy this one's got bigger than I expected)

But oh, Verge, this little emotionally constipated goth man *sighs* he's Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. I'm not even joking.

But all of that aside, I do keep a few things in mind when writing him. I've said before I have many similar personality traits with him and I think it makes it easier for me to write this little bitch (affectionate).

Vergil is pretty much shaped by his trauma. You could argue Dante is as well, but differently from his twin brother, Vergil never really found acceptance. Yes, the twins lived through the same thing but the fact that Eva managed to save Dante and not Vergil is crucial to both characters.

Dante has survivor's guilt and depression from all that happened. He can't keep a deep connection to save his life, 'cause he keeps everyone at bay - he thinks his demonic blood is a curse and he is the reason everyone perishes. So it's best if people keep away from him.

But even with that, Dante loves being around people. It's what makes him so fond of his human part and, in my opinion, it's what made Dante healthier than Vergil. He seeks connection and humanity, he wants to use his strength to protect the weak - like Eva once used hers and sacrificed herself to protect and save him. That is crucial to Dante's character.

Vergil, in the other hand, believed for a LONG time he was left for dead. That his mother chose to save his brother because she loved Dante more and Vergil was left to die. He was left all alone in the cold, in a cemetery filled with demons who slaughtered him in quite a gruesome manner. If he hadn't find the rage, strength and power inside of himself that day, he wouldn't have survived.

Vergil learned he is on his own, his own family didn't love him (even if he was wrong, that's the impression he had for a LONG time) and the only one he could count on was himself. That made him withdraw completely: be wary of people and their intentions, shut himself to the world, allow only strength and power to come through his personality and keep his vulnerabilities and feelings shut down in the darkest and most protected place of himself because if he didn't, that could be his death.

Vergil didn't learn to protect the weak, because he wasn't protected when he was weak. He learned to survive, because when he needed the most, no one was there and his own will was the only thing that could save him. If he had given up, he would've died - no one would come, no knight in shiny armor, no powerful protecting demon, no sacrificing loving human mother.

✨That's why he's an asshole✨

Hahahaha jokes aside, that's why he's so laser focused on power, I think. When he was younger (around DMC 3), he finds Dante again and there's a hatred for his brother because he believed he was left to die and wasn't loved as much as Dante (as always, our red devil being a clueless himbo who just got lucky to be around Eva, poor guy). He wants to prove he is better than Dante, that he was worth something, that he too was worth saving - even more than his brother.

To some extent, up until that moment in DMC 3, Vergil is better than Dante (regarding power). He's got a lot of knowledge and control over his demonic heritage, things Dante didn't even know he could do. But Vergil is so blinded by his hurt and in so much pain he can only deem himself worthy if he beats Dante down, if he wins, if he gets all the power in the world.

I don't think he ever wanted to kill Dante - he just wanted to win. Like a kid, going "see, mom, dad, I win, I'm worth as much as Dante!!" - quite tragic, really.

With his power thing, it's not a desire for power for it's own sake, but as an armor. Given everything that happened to him, that Vergil has this thing of "only I can protect myself and I can count only on myself to save my life", it's very understandable that his logic takes him to the path of "if I am the most powerful being in this world, I will never bleed and I will never hurt again".

So, even if he says on the outside he is power hungry because he wants to honor his demonic heritage and humans are weak, on the inside it's actually that he's trying to carve his heart out from himself so he won't feel nothing and stop hurting - as well as gain all the power he can so NO ONE can make him feel scared, vulnerable, weak and powerless like he did that night when no one appeared to help him.

Vergil hides his pain under a mask of cruelty and hubris - since being honest means being vulnerable to him and that is something he's got a deep aversion to.

Current Verge has dragged himself out of Hell in a crumbling body. If Dante hadn't "killed" him as Nelo Angelo, he probably would've never been free of his shackles with Mundus, but once again he was left for dead (even if not intentionally, I know Dante would have gone through all the layers of Hell to bring his brother back, but VERGIL doesn't know that). Once again, Vergil had to muster all his will, his power, his demonic heritage to drag himself out of that godforsaken place.

He didn't know Nero was his son, he just took Yamato back 'cause he didn't really had time to explain everything that was going on. Vergil was on the brink of death, it's not like he could think logically about everything he was doing and weight pros and cons. He needed to survive. That's what he does.

It's only when he separated his human and demon parts that he came to realize a bunch of things - because Vergil never really had time to do anything else other than surviving; and thinking too much, going over your feelings and past trauma, doesn't do anything good when you're stuck in survival mode (been there, done that).

After he gets both of his parts together and goes back to being Vergil, he knows a lot more than he did before, because V allowed his heart to feel and to process all that pain he didn't allow himself to process before - because if he did, he would probably break, like V himself was falling to pieces.

He knows his mother loved him. He knows it wasn't Dante's fault. He knows it was all a tragedy and no one is to blame - he knows he wasn't left there to die: Eva died trying to get to him. It honestly changes everything he's been thinking for the past 40 (if I'm not wrong...?) years.

That's why he wonders, if he was in Dante's place all those years ago, would that change something? And honestly, it probably would. Because everything Vergil did was from a wound he couldn't bring himself to heal from that fateful night.

Therefore, current Vergil is a lot more accepting to his feelings - but internally only, he won't let it show. He also understands his thing of wanting to surpass Dante wasn't his brother's fault and it's something he has to work on.

Not saying he won't be a little bitch sparring with Dante all the time and keeping score over stupid stuff, because that's EXACTLY how these two function - but now Vergil is fueled by healthy sibling rivalry and fun instead of inferiority complex and pain/hatred.

Vergil's path is a lot similar to Anakin from Star Wars: fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to the Dark Side of the Force. If the Jedi Council had understood Anakin's upbringing as a slave, his deep love for his mother - and for all the beings on the Universe, I argue, because he did want to become a Jedi to free all slaves - his overflowing empathy, his deep feelings, his love for Padmé, etc., Anakin wouldn't find himself vulnerable to the grooming of an older man who saw all this and took the opportunity to twist it all to make him feel pain, fear, anger and hate.

If Qui-Gon Jin had trained Anakin he would've never turned to the Dark Side, I will DIE on this hill and fight EVERYONE, even if I love Obi-Wan

Star Wars ramblings aside, that's Vergil in a nutshell. And I think with him older, currently, he can finally see all of that, because he had a chance to be just demonic, as Urizen, and just human, as V - noticing how everything that happened to him shaped him to feel pain, fear, anger and hate, doing desperate things to protect himself and feel safe.

I argue Vergil hasn't felt safe for a single day in his whole lifetime, and that matters. Because in the end, that's how I write him: a wounded stray dog who knows only pain and hatred from the outside world.

If you try to approach him, he'll first bare his teeth, bark and try to bite you - not because he's mean, but because he's stuck in survival mode and that's his first response to ANYTHING. Just like a wounded stray, you have to approach carefully, offer kindness and show him you're not there to hurt him.

And just like a stray dog, he'll eventually melt and accept that kindness - he just has NO IDEA how that feels like.

✨What about Nero's mother, I hear you ask?✨

Hahahaha so that one I have some doubts myself. I often imagine two scenarios and I still haven't chose one of them to satisfy my heart HAHAHAHA

That might be me projecting, of course, but because of ALL THAT, I don't see Vergil as being open to relationships and one night stands - he takes things too seriously, and that's part of his character.

He either decided to try it out empirically with a one night stand with someone who was kind to him and he wanted to understand that kind of experience to understand himself better and out of curiosity (look, I know this sounds crazy, but that's exactly what I did on my first kiss with a super random guy at a party and I was like "oh, well, that's not for me, I'm gonna stick to kissing people I love, this sucks" and it took a weight off my shoulders)

oooooor he was treated with kindness for the first time in his life and that broke him for a while, he melted under a soft touch and gentle words and couldn't resist trying out new experiences he only had by proxy from his books - and when he woke up next morning, he was reminded how broken he is, how powerless, how not worthy of love not even from his own mother, and left because that would lead to nowhere. Because of him. Because he wasn't worth it - she probably fell for his looks, his heritage, his outside, but when she knew his inside she would run in horror.

Again, Vergil has a lot of issues, the poor man.

When I'm writing Nemesis, we have young Vergil - laser focused on power, proud as fuck, stepping over anything and everything to get what he wants, because life favors the ones who survive. The weak ones should die, that's the law of the jungle and he won't waste his time saving those who can't do it for themselves like he did for himself. When he sees the reader struggling to keep fighting him to protect others, he sees not only Eva, but himself in a will of a survivor who will go through excruciating pain to save themselves. He values that and admires that - admiring the reader as an enemy and having utmost respect.

When he's older, he's trying. And he has a LOT to learn - but his partner has to understand he's the stray dog who knows nothing but harshness. Vergil is quiet, methodical and disciplined, knowing how to live only with himself as company. But now he has a family: he has his brother back, he has a son, he has the whole crew to live alongside him. That's new, harrowing and comforting at the same time.

So, when in doubt, think about how a wounded animal would react - and how you would have to act to be able to approach and help.

Vergil, differently from Dante, is forever stuck in survival mode and has forsaken his humanity so he could keep going. As a younger man, he's ruthless and won't spare efforts to get what he wants because he is desperately trying to not feel vulnerable and worthless as he usually feels. As an older man, he's trying - in his own stupid Mr. Darcy way - to recover, to understand himself better and finally heal that horrible wound in his heart.

But of course. He is still proud, observing, regal and prone to overkill here and there and showing off his skills. These are all inherent to his personality.

(Also. Vergil enjoys some dumb fun sometimes - he only lets it show a tiny little bit when competing with Dante over ANYTHING. If Dante says he can eat a cheeseburger in three bites, Vergil will go above and beyond to eat it in two. Everyone thinks he's just being stupidly competitive with Dante and wants to win against his brother no matter what, but that's just his way of being fun)

Phew! That's quite a lot on the blue devil! Hahaha it isn't everything I keep in mind - of course there are the other things like him being reserved, more on the quiet side, intellectual, methodical, a lover of beauty (like literature, philosophy, poems, etc.), stupidly independent... But I think those traits are more "worldwide" known.

If you take all his trauma and how it affected him into consideration, I think, his personality follows easily. You understand a lot better how he would react in certain situations - in the end, that's what being a writer is all about: creating characters and watching how all of them react to situations given their backgrounds and baggage!

I'm so sorry it's such a HUGE answer, but I do hope it helps. There's a lot to unpack and I didn't want to just "oi, he's a traumatized asshole, that's it" - because you miss the nuances if you just work with that perspective.

Thanks a lot for asking, though, I had fun writing this little essay on Vergil, the man, the myth, the legend HAHAHAHAHAHA

Hope you have a nice weekend and have fun writing!! If you need any advice, even on writing in general, you can always ask me again! As you can see, I'm happy to help and I do love sharing what I know xD

#polaris speaks #asks #answered asks #anon ask #vergil #vergil sparda #character analysis #character breakdown #one hell of a breakdown apparently I had one too while writing this HAHAHAHA #so sorry anon for the essay but like Vergil I don't speak too much in real life but if someone asks me to write OH BOY #I'm only shutting up next month #also I do have a character sheet I downloaded ages ago that I ALWAYS use to create my original characters and stories #it helps a lot to write after filling it up #so if you guys are interested I can share the main topics that help the most when writing/understanding characters #also anon feel free to share your writing with me when you're done!! I'll be happy to see it!

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aspd-culture · 8 months ago

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can people with aspd want to be in a romantic relationship? /sincere question

Absolutely. There’s various reasons depending on how far along social development was when the child was entered into survival mode causing typical neurological development to halt, and just based on the person.

For some, it’s as simple as wanting to find love for the same reason a prosocial person does. For others it’s the practicality of having a built-in person to perform transactions with (I’ll do this for you if you do this for me), or to split responsibilities with, or easy access to a sexual partner and not minding the romantic attachment being there, or the idea of always having someone who is considered safe nearby and at access. For some it’s honestly just to get people off our backs on why we’re always alone (“I just don’t like anyone as much as my partner”/“I don’t really need anyone else, I married my best friend”) because fvck prosocial people CANNOT for their life get off of us about that lol they are desperately afraid for our wellbeing if they do not see us interact with at least 3 non-family members a week (yes, I’ve really done the math and that number usually stops the questions entirely with everyone I’ve met).

There’s a million reasons anyone wants romantic relationships, even just for that natural pull to be close to someone that way, that people with ASPD might feel. Some pwASPD ignore those reasons/urges to keep themselves safe though, and not everyone with ASPD has interest in that to begin with.

As with nondisordered people, there are pwASPD all over the spectrum of alloplatonic to aplatonic, alloromantic to aromantic, etc. (I believe “allo” is the correct prefix opposite the prefix “a” but correct me if I’m wrong) too, even outside of neurological development.

I completely understand the confusion though, because society sure likes painting us as heartless. We aren’t, at least not inherently so, we’re just more protective of that heart because we learned we’ve gotta be.

Plain text below the cut:

#tw mention of sex #aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

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sebbiesolace · 4 months ago

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[The deity swiftly moved out of a portal he had created, turning his head and thanking his fellow god. So this was the Hadal Blacksite,, how strange. The stench of blood would have been sickening to most who first arrived, but for someone who had seen devastation nearly everyday, this was nothing. He had his goals and reasonings and now that he had come this far, he would not stop for anything. He followed the blood stains and claw marks that scored the wall, until he entered a little room, hidden away from the outside world. Sebastian Solace’s hideout. He took a deep breath before entering, taking note of how fresh the blood was and how the deep marks in the wall still crumbled.]

“Greetings, Sebastian Solace is it?”

[He extended a paw-like hand in greeting, holding it in the air for a few moments before taking it back as it was not shook. That was fine, he could work with this. His eyes narrowed as he saw how,, fresh the blood was from around the other’s scaled muzzle. It was tinted a blueish purple. Strange,,]

[Oh Sebastian… what have you done?]

[He shook his head for a moment, watching how disheveled the other was. His pupils were constricted, dress torn, hackles? Raised. This was not normal behaviour for Sebastian after having observed him for so long from above. There was no sign of HQ anywhere either, a frowned creased his furry brow but he calmed himself down.]

“Alas, it is quite rude of me to not introduce myself isn’t it? My name is doctor,” [Sebastian visibly tensed, teeth baring up into a snarl] “Silas Bone, But you can just call me Silas.”

[He smiled, trying to not make himself look as threatening. It was hard when the atmosphere was so,, tense. He didn’t know whether to just say it or wait. He was worried he would make the whole situation worse if he continued trying to do small talk so, taking a deep breath he began talking. This time his voice lost that fake and almost friendly tone, becoming more crisp and almost stern but fatherly.]

“I am going to be blunt with you Solace, I have watched you for a very long time. I have seen the blood you have shed, the blood you have painted the walls with, the marks you have left. I have seen everything. I have seen how in different timelines, you and your brother have fought and killed each other. How in another timeline right now you and your friend, Comet, are on a mission together. I have seen timelines where you, Corvus and HQ are a happy family. I have seen timelines where you never survived past the first few experiments that changed your DNA all those years ago. I have seen it all, and they will never stop. I have seen, Allo, Rose, Comet, Navi, Corvus and more. I have seen your pain, your agony as you watched your own husband get shot in front of you. I have seen your cry in pain as your skeleton changed, how you grew bigger and sharper teeth and how you lost your own skin- even how you lost your legs and grew a tail. I have seen it all. But, there is something that continues to always happen. The cycle of abuse that you continue just like your abuser, your own mother, doesn’t stop. You continue to paint the walls the same red that she has shed. How many people you have killed, everything that you have done. Solace I have seen everything. And let me ask you something, what would Bill think. Look at me when I talk to you young man, what would Bill think. The same creature who has suffered like you, who lost his life for you, who also bore a ring like the one you have on your finger. What would he think? That you have decided to unintentionally continue the cycle of abuse that has been brought upon you? What would he think. Let me tell you something right now, even though he has died, his memories that you share of him will forever live on. You have changed your name from Solace to Cipher. Yes. YOU are Sebastian Cipher, not Solace. You no longer share the same name as she once did. Just remember that kid.” [He reached out a paw and gently pat Sebastian on the head]

“It takes a lot of willpower to end the cycle of abuse. Eventually someone has to put a stop to it otherwise it will never end, It will continue. Sebastian Cipher, You have a choice to end this cycle. I can’t say how you will end it,, but deep down I know that you will find a way. Keep going kid, it’s what Bill would have wanted,, you and I both know this.” [And then he smiled at Sebastian, it was a kind smile.]

[He was draped around the length of the room, head tilted down to protect his throat, the black scarf draped over his shoulder. A DOCTOR? Urbanshade was using their own experiments as DOCTORS now? He growled, a strange clicking noise accompanying it.]

[Silas]

[What a familiar name.]

[...]

[How much blood had he shed? He felt it, caked beneath his nails, even after washing his hands a thousand times. He tasted it on his tongue, no matter how many times he burnt it away with cigarettes, or alcohol. It didn't matter.]

[Cipher.]

[That was his name, wasn't it?]

[Sebastian Solace, the fake name he gave to the judge.]

[Sebastian... he couldn't remember his maiden name. What was his mothers name? WHAT WAS IT?]

[He didn't need to]

"...."

[A cruel cycle, one he had been born into, one he lived in, one that he embodied.]

"..... You have HIS eye."

[He looked up at Silas. He clenched his jaw shut. How badly he wanted to lash out. To bite. To look this kindness in the face and break it. To turn his back, to stay in the dark.]

"I don't WANT to keep turning this wheel, Bone."

[To know he had killed his own brother had been cold water on his systems. He would never. He knew he had. That he COULD.]

"I don't have a CHOICE."

@birbisanon

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urlocalwormtoday · 5 months ago

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how do ppl not always feel paranoid while playing evirma ?? like I've seen so many streams and clips where people are just sitting around and idly chatting and enjoying the scenery like how do you do that ??? how do you look at the forest and think 'wow, those graphics are really pretty!' rather than 'that forest is full of bushes potential enemies could be hiding in, I must be wary'

in legacy I was still pretty paranoid but it wasn't as bad, like I could stop and take a rest in a field or on a rock once in awhile and just chill. and most of the time it was pretty and I could enjoy the scenery without the constant looming in the back of my mind whispering 'you are vulnerable. you are weak and exposed. what if there's an allo hiding in the woods behind you, waiting to attack?'

but in evirma ?? honestly I can't convince my mind to rest and chill for 5 seconds unless I'm underwater or in the air.

am I a fully grown utahraptor in an empty field? I heard more utahs like an hour ago, they could be cannibals. they could be nearby. THEY COULD BE LOOKING FOR ME RIGHT NOW. THEY COULD BE LOOKING AT ME RIGHT NOW

am I a young carno in a peaceful jungle at night? the night vision can only go so far and my footsteps seem so loud. I could be in immediate danger and I wouldn't know until I was dead. the world is full of dangers and I must always remain alert

am I a stego in a herd with like five others? they could be the herbivore equivalent of cannibals. they could turn on me. there could be a mix packing carni group coming towards us and we would have no clue

I think the paranoia was beat into me so badly by legacy AND evirma that the same paranoia is what I default to when I'm starting a new survival game. I immediately assume everything is out to get me, big or small

#GODDAYUM WORD VOMIT #I didn't mean for this to be so long 😔#the isle evrima #the isle #theisle #evirma #the isle legacy #legacy #survival games #paranoia

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fountian-of-youth · 3 months ago

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How can you call Allo a rat?

You're the one who chose to drive drunk that day. You're the one who crashed into them. You're the one who got hin sent to prison.

He hates himself, he wished he could die, but he can't.

You're just as bad as the people you expierement on. In fact, you're WORSE!

"it's fitting of his status , he does nothing run and hid scurrying in the dark scavenging for food . A pest that can't forever go away " Dr. Kraken growled out as he glared at this anon question.

He felt his tendrils lashing behind him as he got reminded of the crash as he hissed out "you welps and the fucking - I was still sober enough to drive it was his fault for not being better at surviving " he said with sickening sarcastic tone that shoved him in the good light.

He laughed " you are all nothing but experiments to me what do you think little words like that will do? Hurt me? Oh I'm so hurtt~ " he mocked laughing with a sick twisted smile "I may be worse but I'm at the fucking top!! With unlimited power and chances ...what do you have?" He replied with a condescending smirk

#fountainofyouthproject #rp blog #dr.kraken #rp ask blog #ask dr.kaken #ask dr.kraken anything

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workingchemistry · 1 year ago

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After rambling paragraphs in your comment section I have come on Tumblr to write more lmao. Seriously I wrote 4 journal pages of thoughts about your au it's very good!

Ok so first, I love how the fight dynamic is: jump Fox when he is being stupid -> 17 breaks up fight -> profit. Except now everything's all wrong so they had to call 17 over to fix things in post. Just hilarious and good continuity.

Your manipulative Fox is excellent show don't tell. It's honestly really hard to write a smart dude without being basically psychic or actually failing a lot. So like even though a lot of people love manipulative Fox it's hard to show in such a low stakes fashion. Usually wr just see him blackmailing people or otherwise winning instead of slowing gathering intel and influencing someone. The pacing and POV just makes it work.

Ace!Fox and Allo!Bly solidarity is hilarious. It cracks me up that the Kaminoans somehow didn't realize that most of the clones are ace spectrum. Like i question if the whole defective CT for CC batches worked even once as intended when every CC is only interested in adoption. "Natborns are obsessed with sex" indeed. Fox knows what's up.

Fox being more genuine with Bly and 17 and even Laruk was adorable. Especially with 17 where we got to realize that all the cadet style military discipline is affectionate with 17. Feral!Fox and his barely older dad my beloved.

I love how the deterministic gene editing totally matters but also doesn't matter much at all. Like all it really did is make a hierarchical family dynamic. Alphas will absolutely parent solo because they are competitive. CCs are big on being at the middle level of parenting and ori'vod-ing because they are only as competitive (for affection) as necessary to get the primary position in a cuddle pile. CTs are totally comfy with looking after younger siblings while still being looked after by the CCs. Ultimately they are all chomping at the bit to create a found family irrespective of genes.

Satine and Fox are so interesting because Satine cares that he is bleeding because of her principles not because she is being kind. Fox likewise pretends to be nice constantly so that she doesn't die on his watch and he gets blamed. Like him expressing understanding over natborn women being uncomfortable with men is just so he can do his job. He gets it but he doesn't really care about a stranger's hypothetical trauma.

Caring about your appearance is absolutely not a baseline experience for clones. Choosing to deviate from regulation at all is a huge expression of individuality even if you still present as a man.

Also like, Satine they are not soldiers by choice. Why would they have a culture that values violence above all else when they don't choose that life. As Fox was explaining in the creche, violence between vode is about love and survival, bot bloodthirsty bloodthirstyness or glory.

Also yeah, Satine will be totally offended by Fox's philosophy on death and murder. "The only deaths I care about are my brothers and they die all the time. If the purge was real I would fix the overcrowding in the senate dome no problem."

lol. They had a Method. It’s always a struggle when your younger brother is both smarter and dumber than you are. Usually beating him up and getting lecture by the only person he listens to is effective but then they tried to beat him up without Seventeen being there and it just didn’t work as well.

Ahh. Thank you. 😭 Fox is so fun as an unreliable narrator because he’s being purposeful about what he tells people when and even what he lets himself thing about but it makes me so nervous that I’m showing too much of my hand lol.

😂😂 I’m just too obsessed with the idea of the clones being ace mostly because I’m ace and so I love the idea of a culture where being allo is met with confusion. I don’t think the Kaminoans thought about sex drive at all until the trainer pops up saying it’s a problem. They give the CCs a CT and they seem more pliable so I guess it must have worked. Meanwhile the CCs are losing their minds over having a new tubie to take care of and mother hen. The CTs on the other hand are dubious but willing to be babied bc they’ve gone from living under the threat of decom to being protected by the most feral clones they’ve ever met. 😂

Seventeen acts a lot more aggressive than he really is. He’s not against thrashing his kids to make them behave but he always does it with affection. I just love to think about like Kenobi and company realizing their commanders and troopers are actually the semi domesticated version when they start digging into things and see the kinda shit that Fox and the Corries pull off unsupervised.

That is such a perfect description. 😭 the Aureks are extremely possessive and don’t really trust each other while the CCs don’t really trust outsiders. The CTs on the other hand are comparatively easy going despite what natborns think. They see these men doing crazy things on the battle and think they’re insane but actually CTs are very affectionate and willing to adopt everyone into their found families. They’re just also more willing to listen to a no. Aureks Will Forcibly adopt anyone from the younger series and CCs will latch onto anyone and dig their teeth in until they’ve subdued their targets.

Satine is so much fun to play against Fox because they’re kind of the same subset of person but with different ideals. They both come across as very helpful and caring and it’s not that they aren’t but they aren’t altruistic—even though Satine values altruism, everything she does is to further her ideals and people so it’s not actually good for good’s sake. Satine cares about Fox’s wellbeing because she feels responsible for him and Fox cares about Satine’s wellbeing because he is responsible for her. She wouldn’t be more sad about him dying than she would any rando and he would say good riddance to her if his family could get away with it.

The clones in other battalions get to play around with their appearance at least, but Fox can’t let his Corries even do that. Too much hinges on them being interchangeable. Those with identifying scars get pulled off of Senate duty and when he got his facial scar he had a whole breakdown because it meant he couldn’t step in and pretend to the others anymore. So that means what little individuality he can give to them is extremely precious and if that’s just which pronouns and names being used, he will fight for them. If they are already too identifiable with scars, he lets them grow out their hair and dye it as long as they leave enough undyed roots so it can be shaved off in an emergency. Makeup and nail polish and accessories are shared freely and used by everyone regardless of gender identity within the barracks.

The love/violence and inaction/hate culture clash is so fun to me. Like hurting your brother so that the trainer doesn’t do it is love as far as the vode are concerned. Standing aside and not correcting a mistake is setting your brother up for a decom. Satine’s preconceived notions about war and the reasons natborns fight doesn’t fit when these are just men who aren’t allowed to anything else. Like sure they enjoy killing sometimes. They enjoy getting a job done and they’re desensitized to murder. It has nothing to do with the actual killing. Later this will be highlightened when we get to see Fox doing the bare minimum to protect a natborn compared to Rex, Cody, Wolffe, and Bly all nearly killing themselves to protect their generals. Inaction vs action is a huge thing for them. Fox quite quit his job years ago. He’s just keeping his men alive at this point. Fuck everyone else.

Fox really said if the terrorists wanted to be harder to catch that would be great actually. Oh no he’s accidentally dropping the plans to the senate dome. If he could guarantee that no one would be alive to retaliate afterwards, he’d commit a murder spree, take his troopers, and book it out of there.

#commander fox #duchess satine

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your-queer-dad · 6 months ago

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Hi Dad! It's the person who wrote some time ago about my post being lost and then about being overwhelmed with war and a lot of other stuff. // TW: General depression, vague discussion of sexual topics (wouldn't call it violence, maybe like sexual SH?), medical topics I am thinking of changing my name! Even though I picked the current one (and all the nicknames) myself. But I guess why not, right? So yeah, gonna be going by Sylvia now. Also came out to my friends as ace! Still confused about my relation to all those things but the way I think and feel about them are definitely not allo so yeah... I think it actually helped me a bit to accept this as one of my labels. Feels like I don't have to push myself anymore or agree and even initiate when I don't want to. I can just Not Care because not it is Not That Important and Not Required. That's a good feeling I think. Sorry for writing so much, it is okay to not respond for a while. I think it just kinda helps to have a parent, even a digital one? Both of mine are still alive but they have never been good at being parents or even being people sometimes. So it's not like I'd actually want to talk to them about any of this.

It is very hard to continue to hope. Hope requires a vision of the future, some goal towards I could go, but every goal seems unrealistic and I struggle to do even basic things most of the time, so it just seems like either I need to somehow fix myself or I'm just destined for a life of barely surviving. Also an orthodontist told me that I need to get extensive work done including two surgeries with removing/reshaping bones. Which is good for my future health yes, but also my face is gonna look significantly different. And I joke about it with everybody but it's kinda scary. Not like I like my current face that much, but what if it's worse? :c - Sylvia

Hey kiddo!!! It's lovely to hear from you again. You don't need to worry about talking too much, I love hearing from people and I'm always here to listen!

I'm so proud of you for coming out to your friends!!! That's amazing!!! As a fellow asexual, I completely understand how freeing it feels to come out, and I'm really proud of you!!

And I get what you mean. Hope is really hard. Hope can be really difficult when things get hard, and it seems like small things are too difficult. But working towards your goals doesn't have to be huge steps. Small steps are often the most needed. And every small step you take gets you somewhere. If it's getting out of bed in the morning, you've already taken a step towards a better day. If it's putting on clothes that you feel comfortable in, bam! Another step towards a successful day! If it's going outside, another step done!!

If you were on a walk, you wouldn't be taking massive strides all the time, would you? You'd tire yourself out too quickly. But smaller steps would get you where you need to be. You just need to slowly keep moving your feet and you'll get there kiddo. I'm so incredibly proud of you. 🫂🫂🫂 I'm always here to listen, anytime you need it.

- dad x

#lgbt #finch rambles #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer positivity #trans #transgender #ask a finch!

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awellboiledicicle · 1 year ago

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I feel like the "everyone has a fever and aches" night you get post-grove situation ends out fine overall for Hawke and co, but Anders and Halsin were the two non-worm individuals in camp going "do we have the power to fight that many mindflayers? no. Do we have the power to kill ailing people mid-transformation? Yes, that we can do."

But like they wouldn't want to pull the trigger on that option until the bleeding started, because like you can tell Lae'zel-- maybe everyone just got sick. You all eat the same food, sans Astarion, but even he probably still drinks water now and then and you all get yours out the same river.

And all this is fine, because it passes.

But all i can imagine is Anders and Halsin not sleeping, pacing around the camp all night, changing rags off foreheads, leaving water by beds and covering the people who kicked off their blankets and are now curled up shivering. They all went to bed with the clear understanding that what must be done will be, if they change.

Hawke faces it with a sort of grim finality. I hc that Malcolm died of some kind of illness, so Hawke is just sitting there pondering if its the worm or if some things run in the family. Silly, really, because it's far more likely that fighting a giant spider spitting acidic venom at them just fucked everyone up a bit. His stomach lurches and he tries to focus on staying himself, just in case that helps. Foggy memories of his family drift through his head. Lothering, a dozen no name villages across Fereldan. Kirkwall. The unofficial temporary homes he and Anders would set up while on the run, be it in caves or clearings or abandoned homes they could pretend were theirs in a pinch. Thinks about his friends and worries if they're alright. Worries about Anders, if this really is it. The sweat is coming so thick by the time he drops into sleep that his hair is slick. Anders has to keep himself from centering around him, specifically, especially with the others to care for as well. Halsin has to take over while the healer fetches yet more water from the river, though he lingers just long enough to squeeze Hawke's hand.

Lae'zel is surprisingly calm when they tend to her, teeth bared while she rides through another wave of nausea. She seems to be doing it in her sleep, hands curled into fists as her muscles jump and sweat pools. She had forgone her usual clothes in favor of simple undergarments, hissing an insistence that the less material between blade and her body would be a boon when the time came. The way her body shuddered, however, Anders had a sneaking suspicion that it was her way of staying relatively cool in the face of her body turning on her. Either way, she greedily clung to the blanket Halsin laid over her as nights chill set in.

Wyll lies curled on his side, horns scratching furrows in the dirt through his bedroll. His blanket is soaked through and his breathing comes in short, labored, panting. He took the longest to fall asleep, insisting the ache made his scars thrum and his false eye feel even more foreign than usual.

Karlach had to be doused in water on a few occasions through the night, between her engine and her temperature she was fairly steaming by the time she drifted off. Her bedroll's base survived entirely through how soaked it had become.

Shadowheart muttered half tracked prayers and curled with her knees to her chest. Her hands shook as she prepared for bed, and she nearly told the two off for attempting to give her a cool towel for relief. Something about this pain being a service to lady Shar, how she would overcome it as proof of her devotion, before silently passing into sleep.

Astarion was the most trouble, if only because he insisted that the only way he could feel better was to either have blood or trance in the river directly. It was, after all, not like he was used to something approaching living temperatures ripping through his flesh after 200 years of cold undeath. When the worst of the pains started, he allowed the two to get close enough to leave things by his bedroll-- trying to touch him was met with a near feral hiss and a swipe of his nails. He crawled a good ways before stumbling to his feet and making it to bed and collapsing in it. The noises he made as he dropped into a deep trance were... worrying.

Gale, meanwhile, was the one they had to actually fight to keep in camp. Not because he WANTED to leave, but because he was convinced he had to. He was slow and deliberate as he insisted that, if the fever did not break, he needed to be taken to the Whispering Depths and thrown into the abyss below it. He didn't know if that would be enough distance to spare the Grove, or even most of the coast from the orb, but it would be a better try than having it happen out on the surface. He made them promise, with all the specific slowness of pronouncing an incantation, to do so if the symptoms progressed and to not just slit his throat. It was paramount. They agreed, naturally, though Halsin internally wasn't thrilled with the uncertainty involved.

Then, around midnight, the sounds of fevered thrashing and labored breathing quieted. Smoothed into the sounds of restful slumber. This was somehow almost as worrying as the sounds. A quick check showed no bleeding noses or mouths, nor tentacles bursting from jaws. The night passed, then, like the last week or so had-- calmly, until sunrise.

One at a time they woke and made their way about dealing with the residue of sweat and dirt from thrashing. Hawke clung to Anders the second he clapped eyes on the tired healer, popping his back in a powerful hug.

"As much as i needed that to go back in, air, love--" Anders gave his shoulder a pat and pressed a kiss to his sweat sticky forehead as he loosened his grip. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just compressed every infection i'd ever had into one night of feeling fucking awful. But," He grinned and kissed Anders on the cheek, their stubble scraping together. Anders snickered and playfully batted at his chest. "My beloved healer kept me alive, yet again."

"I can't take all the credit, but i'm going to." With a wry smirk, he shook his head and pushed Hawke toward the river. "Now go get cleaned up. You smell like my clinic."

"Here I thought you liked my smell--" Hawke was purposely dragging his feet as they approached the water, largely to be an ass. "And besides, the water's going to be cold."

"You poor thing, how will you survive."

"Probably with someone to help keep me warm?"

"Not while everyone else is here, love." A final push before crossing his arms and nodding toward the water. "We can regroup after."

"Come on, keep me company?" Hawke shot him a pleading look while he started undoing the laces on his shirt. He removed it and paused, idly folding it while his face crumpled in thought. "Besides, I had a particularly strange dream that I wanted your thoughts on."

With a sigh, Anders settled on a rock at the bank and held out a hand for the shirt. Passing it over and starting on the rest of his clothes, he hummed. Though Anders did feel cheeky enough to give him a flick across the rear with his pants once passed over.

"Hey, now, what about not while other are in earshot?" Hawke quickly retreated into the water and suppressed the full body shudder in favor of scrubbing at his face.

"I'm innocent of all wrongdoing." He deadpanned, folding the pants on his lap and leaning on them. He'd have to fetch something clean for his dear husband in a moment, but he was rather curious about this dream. Hawke was never great about sharing whatever popped into his head in the Fade, and he couldn't imagine that had changed now. He watched his lover scrub for a bit before asking. "So, you had a dream?"

"Yes, about the worms." Hawke rubbed at his chest, the hair having matted a bit with sweat. He'd worry about the knots later, he supposed, and focused on scrubbing. "Someone that looked... almost exactly like you showed up and insisted I was... changing. Only, he didn't have that scar on your cheek from the expedition and when his eyes glowed, there wasn't any of Justice's fire. Just... magic, i suppose."

"Did this visitor offer you anything?" Anders chewed idly at his thumbnail and squinted. He didn't think there would be demons cropping up to tempt them, but it also wasn't as if he'd been dreaming of anything but Justice and nightmares lately. "Power, things like that?"

"If it was a demon," Hawke drawled, sinking down deeper into the river and thinking. "It was doing a very bad job. It said not to give into the worm, but take advantage of it. Learn how to use it's power. Kirkwall demons had much better sales pitches."

"It was a more competitive market in Thedas." Anders sighed with a frown. "Though I hardly need to tell you to dismiss it out of hand, correct?"

"No, love, I was going to believe the worm vision and perhaps eat another one. Just see how that goes for me." They shared a look before Hawke snorted and shook his head in the face of Anders' scowl. "You don't, no. Though once i'm done here, we should probably check in on the others. See if their worms have turned, as it were."

"We can ask while i'm doing check ups, once you get done." Anders looked deeply amused for a moment, glancing between the clothes and where Hawke stood. "Suppose i should be a good husband and get you something that doesn't smell, hm?"

"I mean, i'd appreciate that. Unless you want me to wander through camp naked."

"As much as I'd enjoy that, let's not give Gale another reason to have his concentration tested."

"Aw. Well, if i have to behave... Go on." Hawke flicked a little water toward him. "Please."

Anders going and getting him clothes did not stop Gale from going to the river a little ways downstream, getting half undressed and glancing over just in time to see Hawke wave at him. He most definitely did not hide behind some reeds like a blushing teenager and sneak a peak around like a much bolder younger man. His ability to remain calm was being tested and he was failing. But he was alive to keep trying to keep focused, so that's a win.

Meanwhile Scratch is just like "oh gods are my people ok, oh no oh gods" and has to get all the good boy pets.

#handers gate au

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bloody-wonder · 8 months ago

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Could you expand on the part about Jean vs Neil's sexuality? I assume you meant how it's portrayed in the book, I never made any comparison, so I'd be interested in hearing about it. But it could be applied to fans too. I've not seen anyone try to say Jean can't be bi or is bi because of his abuse, like people do with Neil and his asexuality. While infuriating, it's sadly not surprising. Nobody ever did it with Andrew either. Just Neil.

yes i meant that there's an obvious difference between how neil, being demi, perceives andrew throughout the aftg books and how jean, being bi, reacts to jeremy and many other hot people he encounters. it's interesting you say you never made any comparison bc for me it's impossible not to compare and see the differences. back in 2020 when i joined this fandom, it was a huge thing for me to discover that certain fanon spins on andreil aren't irksome just bc they're ooc - they're upsetting bc they erase the way nora depicted aspec attraction in a media landscape where aspec rep is still difficult to come by and aspec relationships especially so. learning that these things have names and constitute queer identities was a revelation and made me a very analytical romance reader - and a very frustrated one too bc now that i know that complex romance stories featuring people like me can be written i have little patience for characters being instantly attracted to each other for seemingly no reason.

that's why scenes like this

“I like to indulge,” Jeremy said with a dimpled smile. Kevin’s words mocked him in the back of his thoughts: “Some of them you like.” Jean cut off that line of thinking so fast he felt dizzy. It didn’t matter that Jeremy Knox was annoyingly easy to look at; Jean knew better than to look at another man too long. He’d learned that lesson the hard way and would not survive a revisit.

have a mixed effect on me. on the one hand, i recognize that this is true to the experience of allo people and admire nora for no doubt intentionally writing neil's and jean's sexualities in such a different way. both of them end up in mm relationships altho neither of them is gay - which i think adds nuance to the yaoi lol. on the other hand, to me, a relationship that features writing like this is just inherently less interesting. like, this is literally just my subjective preference but it did factor into why i didn't like tsc as much as aftg.

the things you bring up about certain fans' double standards when it comes to the potential influence of abuse on one's sexuality are very true. nobody ever claimed andrew is gay bc of the abuse he suffered and i don't think people would use this argument with jean, altho biphobia and bi erasure are definitely a thing in many fandoms. interestingly, the scene i cited above adds another layer to this conversation: so the logic of aspec neil deniers was (wishfully using the past tense here) that you can basically bully a person into being aspec and that's why neil isn't really demi, he's just repressed etc etc. but in jean's reaction to jeremy's looks and in his internal monologue throughout the book whenever he finds someone attractive we see that he doesn't welcome these feelings. he's thinking: i'm attracted to him but i've been hurt before and so i don't want to feel this way - it will only lead to problems and more hurt. now, were it true that one can be bullied into perceiving hot people around with the same kind of disinterest as neil, the many instances of sex-related physical and psychological abuse jean has been through would have doubtlessly gotten him there. instead, he's still very much bi and traumatized.

#it's like when you use a dryer that's not very good and instead of making your laundry dry it just makes it still wet but hot #that's jean #aftg ask #aftg mine #book tag #jean: unfortunately i am not ace but i believe in their beliefs #how can i join #neil: you gotta have your mom smack you or yank your hair or smth

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ifuckingloveai · 10 months ago

Text

Photos

10 images/GIFs when posted from the apps.

30 images/GIFs when posted from the web.

up to 2048 pixels wide and 3072 pixels tall.

Make sure the file is no larger than 20 MB and is in either JPEG, PNG, or WEBP format.(PNG is largest)

600 MB Total

Script for a mouse 3 musketeers movie below the break

Woman: Set dresser to the stage.

Man #1: Check lights.

Man #2: Hey, where’s that turtle with my narrator?

Troubadour: Singing, singing, singing, singing all day long When I’m singing, there is nothing that is wrong Musketeers, hey! La-la-la-la-la-la-la

Woman: Talent to the set, please.

Man: We’re live in 60 seconds.

Troubadour: 60 seconds!

Woman: Where’s the narrator?

Troubadour: Monsieur Narrator. Monsieur Narrator! M-m-monsieur! Monsieur, it is time! Monsieur. Pardonnez-moi. But today is the day, right, monsieur? Because you promised I can sing my songs… about the musketeers, right? Ahem... All for one… Hey!

But, monsieur, you promised. Oh, no, no. No, no, no. Monsieur. Monsieur. Monsieur, wait! Wait! The stage is…

Whoa!

This way.

Crew: Let’s have some quiet, people. Five seconds to air. Cue music. And… action! What’s that turtle doing? Where’s the narrator? We’re live. Just go with it. Hey, you. Don’t just sit there like a turtle. Do something! You’re on camera! For crying out loud, say something!

Troubadour: Allo.

Crew: Tell the story.

Troubadour: Today, I will tell you the story of… "The Three Musketeers"! This is my favourite version… the one with pictures. And, of course, my songs. Our story begins… in the gutter… where poor young street urchins Mickey, Donald, and Goofy… struggled to survive. Zut alors! Bad guys. Will anyone defend these innocent children? Anyone! Anyone! Anyone! Well, anyone? The royal musketeers! Yes! And after the dust settles… a kindly musketeer gives Mickey a gift. Don’t worry, Mickey. You ‘ll grow into it. From that day on, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy… dreamed of being great musketeers. But as the years passed… their dream was still as far away as ever. You see, before their dream can come true… our three heroes must learn the real meaning… of the musketeer creed… all for one and one for all! And I just happen to have a song about this!

Troubadour & Musketeers (singing): All for one, hey! All for one and one for all Musketeers sing All for one and one for all If you dare to Cross our path, prepare to fall ‘Cause we’ll fight you All for one and one for all And all for one and one for all And all for one and all So, if you think you ‘d care to Kick some derriere, you Know that as a musketeer, you ‘d be so fearsome If you believe you ‘re manly Come and join our family Soon we’ll make sure you ‘re a musketeer

Mickey: Aw, look at them, fellas. That’s gonna be us out there someday. I just know it.

Goofy: I can’t wait.

Donald: Yeah. Me, too.

Musketeers (singing): All for one, all men of honour, hear my call Musketeers sing all for one and one for all All for one, hey, all for one and one for all All for one and all for one and one for all And all for one and one for all And all for one and all

Troubador: All for one and one for all!

Mickey: Yes, sir. Janitors today, musketeers tomorrow.

Pluto: (barks)

Mickey: Hey, my lucky musketeer hat. Oh, thanks, boy. Remember when the musketeers gave me this hat, Pluto? They even autographed it. See?

I can’t wait to be a great big hero.

Careful, Goofy.

Goofy: Sorry, Mickey. I can’t wait to be a musketeer, neither… ‘cause I got plenty of good ideas. The musketeers can use a clever fella like me. Yipe!

Mickey: Hey, Donald, how about you?

Donald: Are you kidding? Musketeers need guys like me that are brave!

Mickey: Yeah, and they need guys that are brave, too.

Donald: That’s what I said… brave.

Pete: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sirree. I’ve been looking forward to this all month.

Goofy: Maybe I can sand it out.

Mickey: Almost…

Pete: A… I’m adorable, B… I’m so beautiful What?

Mickey: Almost… got it.

I got it!

Goofy, look out!

Mickey, Donald, & Goofy (in unison): Captain Pete.

Pete: Now listen, you yardsticks. I am sick and tired of your screw-ups. You guys are hopeless. I leave you for five minutes… and I come back to a disaster!

Mickey: Well, we were practicing our teamwork… so we can be good musketeers.

Pete: Musketeers? That’s priceless.

Mickey: But we could work really hard… and prove ourselves, Captain Pete… and then would you let us be musketeers?

Pete: Well, there’s three things wrong with that. One… You ‘re a coward. Two…

Voice: We’re sorry. The number you‘ve reached has been disconnected.

Pete: You‘re a doofus. And, as for you… well, you ‘re just too small. Why, I wouldn’t have you yahoos as musketeers… even if you were the last recruits… in all of my beloved France! So, you won’t need this, will you? Yeah. Here, kid. Have a ball. Have a ball! That’s a good one! I’m going to send that one in to the Digest.

Minnie: He loves me. He loves me… a lot. He loves me. He loves me even more. He loves me.

Daisy: Pardon me, Your Highness… you ‘re kind of mangling that flower. Who’s the… lucky guy?

Minnie: My one true love. I’ll find him someday. He’s out there. I just know it.

Daisy: This fantasy man… do you happen to know if he’s royalty?

Minnie: Does it matter?

Daisy: Well, as you know… someone of your royal stature must be courted… by a gentleman of royal blood.

Minnie: What a royal pain.

Daisy: Your highness, you ‘re gonna have… to pick someone sooner or later. I mean, tick-tock, huh?

Minnie: Daisy, I can’t pick someone I’m not in love with.

Daisy: You want love? Buy a dog. Besides, the perfect guy… isn’t gonna just walk through the door… and even if he does… how are you gonna know he’s the one?

Minnie: I’ll know. Just imagine. He’ll stride into the room. A light will glow from him. I’ll hear music. He’ll bring me flowers. He’ll sweep me off my feet. And I’ll know he’s the one when he makes me laugh.

Daisy: Your majesty, forgive me for saying so… but that sounds… just lovely.

Minnie: Trust me, Daisy. I’ll know him when I see him. Why… bonjour.

Troubadour: A romantic princess deserves a romantic song, no?

Troubadour (singing): Just around the corner, seeking you Puppy love is tripping lightly into view Hiding in the hedgerows Sneaking up on tiptoes Love’s first kiss is blissfully About to capture you Just around the corner, wafting close Love is creeping nearer than you might suppose So sit still and wait now Let love choose your fate now Take a pause, don’t run because It’s right behind you Let love find you Young love It’s love, love, love, love, love Love so lovely What can you say to love But love? Maybe on the rooftops, climbing high Somewhere just above you, love is hovering by Love is in a rush to Smear you, smash you, smush you Love will crush you into mush When you ‘re the bull’s-eye, you ‘ll get hit by Young love Your first, your only love Love so…

Daisy: Excuse me. Your Grace?

Troubadour: How can you stand it so…

Daisy: Your Highness!

Beagle Boys: Who’s gonna tell the bloomin’ boss the bad news?

Don’t look at me. I ain’t saying nothing. You tell him.

Me? I told him last time, you silly twit. And I don’t believe in doing it twice.

Oy, here’s an idea. Shorty, you tell him.

Tell him what?

That we… you know, botched the job.

He’s not going to like that. Hello there.

Pete: It don’t look good… when only one shows up. Does it, small fry?

Beagle Boys: Blimey. I can’t hear nothing but step, clop, step, clop.

Have a gander at monstro’s better side.

He has something to tell you, boss.

Pete: It better be good news.

Beagle Boys: Well, we did exactly what you said to do… and dropped a safe on the princess.

Pete: You what? I didn’t say, "Drop a safe," you dolt. I said, "Keep her safe."

Beagle Boys: Well, that’s good… because we missed her.

Pete: Now listen, you mutts. I got a plan. And it ain’t to kill the princess. It’s to kidnap her.

Beagle Boys: Huh?

Pete: The opera? it’s tomorrow night.

(operatic singing)

Pete: The princess has got to be gone by then… or I can’t become king.

Beagle Boys: Oh!

I… don’t get it.

Pete: Lieutenant Clarabelle!

Clarabelle: Oui, oui, mon capitaine. You bellowed?

Pete: Throw these clowns into the pit!

Clarabelle: Oui, oui! Le pit!

Beagle Boys: No!

Not that!

Anything but le pit!

Clarabelle: Bon voyage… losers.

Beagle Boys: (screaming)

Not so bad.

Clarabelle: Bonjour. Pete’s secret lair. Clarabelle speaking. The princess?!

Musketeers (chanting): All for one All men of honour, hear the call Musketeers sing all for one and one for all

Pete: Your Highness. So glad you could grace us with your royal omnipresences.

Minnie: I want bodyguards!

Pete: Oh...

Minnie: Musketeer bodyguards.

Musketeers: Villains, bad guys run in fear When they see the musketeers Savin’ Minnie is our duty Mess with her, we’ll kick your…

Pete: Ouch. Bodyguards. Absolutely. Let me check my schedule here. How about next Thursday?

Minnie: How about ten minutes? At the palace! Get me bodyguards, Captain Pete!

Goofy: Pancakes, cornflakes, scrambled eggs Buttered toast and apple jam Tonight it’s meat, I hope it’s spam...

Mickey & Donald: Goofy! Slow down!

Pete: Princess, you‘re in luck. Have I got the men for you.

Minnie: Well, I hope so. Thanks to your incompetence… this whole thing has been a pain in the neck!

Pete: I’ll show you a pain in the neck.

Oh, boy.

Mickey: Hey, Donald. Don’t worry about what Captain Pete said. Cheer up. I’m sure there’s some way… we can become musketeers.

Goofy: We can?

Mickey: Hey, Goof, you know we can prove Pete’s wrong about us… if we just work hard and stick together.

Goofy: You really think so?

Mickey: Hey, have I ever let you down? Have I? Have I? Have I? No. Just imagine, guys.

Mickey: Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow… but someday Captain Pete’s gonna march in here and say…

Pete: Congratulations, boys! You passed the test. I’ve been watching you three… and I’ll tell you what. You guys have got what it takes to be musketeers!

Mickey: Really? You mean it?

Pete: Cross my heart.

Mickey: Oh, boy! Hey, fellas! We’re gonna be musketeers! Musketeers! Musketeers!

I knew we had what it takes.

Goofy: ‘Cause we’re clever.

Donald: And brave.

Mickey: And together we are gonna be great big heroes. What do you say, men? All for one…

Goofy: And two for tea!

Pete: Yeesh.

Mickey: Well, we’ll work on it.

Pete: Hup, deux, trois, quatre. Hup, deux, trois, quatre. Hup, deux, trois, quatre. Hup, deux, trois, quatre. Company… halt! Stay here whilst I go schmooze Princess what’s-her-name.

Mickey: Wow. This is it, guys. This is what we’ve been waiting for all our lives. Now, when these doors open… we’ve got to make a great first impression.

OK. Remember, fellas, we’re on duty… and this place could be crawling with bad guys.

Donald: Bad guys?!

Mickey: So stay alert!

Donald: You heard him. Stay alert!

Goofy: Aye, aye, sir.

Bad guy! No!

Mickey: Goofy!

Goofy: Gosh. He pulled an ax on me.

Pete: Your Royal Highness, I have never, ever had… a more highly skilled group of gentlemen… than the individuals which I present to you today.

Daisy: Seems like this is gonna take a while. I’ll go get you a little snack.

Pete: It took my highly trained eye to see their true potential.

Minnie: Yes. Well, France thanks you and your eye very much.

Pete: Well, then it is without further ado… that I present, for your complete safety… and protection… your musketeers!

Minnie (lovestruck): Just imagine. He’ll stride into the room. Light will glow from him. I’ll hear music. He’ll bring me flowers. And he’ll sweep me off my feet. And I’ll know he’s the one when he makes me laugh.

Daisy: Your Majesty, it’s time to cut the cheese.

Minnie (snapped out of her fantasy): What?

Daisy: Here we are. Roquefort, anyone?

Goofy: Knife!

Donald: Bad guy!

Mickey: Grab her!

Daisy: Oh, no.

Help!

Minnie: Unhand her! Release her! Stop it!

Drop her! She is my lady-in-waiting!

Pete: You ‘ll have to forgive them, Your Highness. They’re like a well-oiled machine… that’s wound just a little too tight.

Mickey: We’re sorry, Your Grace. We thought she was a villain.

Daisy: I don’t think so.

Minnie: Oh. I see. Well, then… I feel safer already.

Troubador: Oh, no. When the bad guy is that happy, it always, always means… Bad guy song!

Pete (singing): I was born to cheat and lie I’m a mean, rotten guy When you ask me why I’m nasty Here’s my reason why At that stork delivery, Mommy screamed "Woe is me, such a dork" "Hey, Mr Stork, behold my misery" "Pete is ghastly, Pete’s a blob" "Pete’s a nasty, naughty slob" Can it, sister, I’m the mister who will get the job So I’m nasty, I’m no good, I’ll be king, knock on wood I’ll impress ya, though I’m just a common lowly hood, ha! If you can’t be loved, be feared Don’t get shoved, sheep get sheared Be the king, pull the strings Or else you might get smeared I’m so happy I could dance, seize my chance, I’ll advance Come and cheer me, love and fear me Petey’s king of France, ha ha

Evening, trusted lieutenant. Watch out for the bricks.

Clarabelle: What?

Pete (singing): Come and cheer me, love and fear me Petey’s king of France

Why’d the music stop?

Hello, boys.

Think you might have some spare time… to go and snatch the princess?

Beagle Boys: Yeah, I think.

Pete: Well, quit thinking and do it! The opera’s tomorrow night!

(operatic singing)

Pete: ....The job’s got to be done by then! Remember?

Beagle Boys: How can we help?

Pete: I want you to grab her, find a remote tower somewhere… and lock her away forever… so as no one can ever find her again! You got me, dingbats?

Beagle Boys: Sure thing, boss.

Mickey: Isn’t this musketeering stuff great?

Donald: You bet!

Minnie: Isn’t it romantic, Daisy… being protected by three dashing musketeers? And the little one is so handsome.

Daisy: Yeah… he’s kind of cute and all… but you ‘re forgetting something. They’re musketeers, commoners, non-college-bound. You know what that means.

Minnie: Our love is… forbidden?

Daisy: Bingo.

Minnie: A forbidden love. How romantic.

Mickey: Bad guys!

Donald: Bad guys!

Goofy: Bad guys?

Mickey: Yikes! OK, you. En garde.

Beagle Boys: En garde? French words make me mad!

Daisy: Get out there and fight, you coward!

Goofy: You fellas seen any bad guys around here?

Beagle Boys: Ooh. How about this bad guy?

Mickey: Goofy!

Beagle Boys: Hit the road, tiny.

Donald: Mickey!

Beagle Boys: Boo!

Mickey: Princess!

Now how are we going to protect the princess?

Donald: Protect the princess? Are you kidding? It’s hopeless. We failed.

Goofy: Hopeless? Failed?

Donald: There, there, pal. Here. Blow.

Mickey: Well, I don’t think we’re hopeless. Listen, Captain Pete has faith in us.

Goofy: He does? I mean, he does!

Mickey: Pete made us musketeers, remember?

Donald: Yeah! We’re musketeers!

Mickey: That’s right, just like we dreamed when we were kids. So, what do you say? Are we a team?

Goofy: Count me in, Mickey!

Donald: Me, too! Me, too!

Mickey: We’re off to save the princess! No obstacle too big!

Goofy: Yeah!

Mickey: No danger too great!

Donald: You said it!

Mickey: Together, we’ll save the princess or die trying!

Donald: ...die? Die?

Mickey: Hey, Goof, this door won’t budge!

Goofy: Let me give it a go!

Mickey: Hey, Goof, wait. I got it…

Beagle Boys: What the heck was that?

Goofy: Door’s open.

Beagle Boys: Oy, what we do about them musketeers?

We’s 87 floors up. It’ll be hours before they’s on us.

Mickey (out of breath): Hold it right… there. You… fiends!

Beagle Boys: Sling them birds in their cage.

Minnie & Daisy: (screaming)

Mickey: Your Highness!

Beagle Boys: Let’s have a bit of fun with these blighters, eh?

Mickey: Let’s get ‘em!

Beagle Boys: Oi!

Donald: Stop! Let the girls go!

Beagle Boys: You feel lucky, ducky?

Beagle Boys: Hang about. Is that Halley’s comet?

Goofy: Halley’s comet! Where?

Mickey: Let me go! Let me go! I’ll slice you to ribbons!

Goofy: What the…

Mickey: My sword!

Beagle Boys: (laughs)

Mickey: Goofy, we got to do something quick… or the princess is done for.

Beagle Boys: It’s all over. Looks like you blokes got in over your heads… (echoes)

Mickey: What are you planning, Goof?

Goofy: I got an idea. You with me?

Mickey: You bet.

Goofy: Hot soup, coming through!

Beagle Boys: That was a bit of a barney, wasn’t it?

Mickey, Goofy, Minnie & Daisy: Oh! Ow!

Goofy: Did we do it?

Mickey: Yeah! We did it! The three of us did it!

Mickey & Goofy: All for one and…

Mickey: Wait. Where’s Donald?

Donald: We did it? Well, alright! Hurray! We did it!

Mickey, Donald & Goofy: Yippee! Wa-hoo!

Daisy: (clears throat)

Mickey: Let me just… kind of tight. Whoa! Oops.

Minnie: (laughs)

Troubadour: Mickey made her laugh… so she knew he was the one. But will their love bloom on the way back to Paris? Perhaps… if I sing them a song.

Troubadour (singing): Afloat on the breeze On wings of love Like birds and like bees Sweet wings of love The first day we met On wings of love We watched the sun set Sweet wings of love And if by some chance Some twist of fate We’re chasing romance It’s not too late It’s heaven’s design, you ‘ll be mine Hands entwined on wings of love Of love A real-life fairy tale Fairy tale Down the streams of life we sail Life we sail And our world in twilight gleams Twilight gleams Like the light in your eyes Inside my dreams Your whisper lightly tickling my ear It’s Paris, ah, in the spring Spring, spring, spring, spring I feel so giddy, one thing is clear You stir my heart to sing Don’t take your hand from mine Hand from mine Just hold tight until you find You ‘re the light I’m dreaming of Dreaming of And I’m waiting for you on wings of love

Minnie: Bonne nuit.

Troubadour (singing): Waiting for you on wings… Lovely little wings Of love On wings of love Ah, young love.

Pete: I got a problem! Those three chowderheads have proven tougher than I thought.

Beagle Boys: Yeah? So?

Pete: So quit hanging around. We’ve got a change of plans, see. Now we’re gonna have to pull the switcheroo… tomorrow night… at the opera.

(operatic singing again)

Pete: That little ditty is starting to grow on me.

Now listen. To get to the princess… we’re gonna have to pick those guys off one by one.

Minnie: Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Look, Daisy. Mickey and I have the same last name. (sighs)

Daisy: Well, it must be destiny. Good thing destiny doesn’t control my love life.

Minnie: What do you mean?

Daisy: Well, look at me. If it did… I’d get stuck with Mister… (imitates Donald)

Minnie & Daisy: (laughs)

Goofy: Two, three… four. Two, three… four. Bad guys.

Clarabelle (imitating Mickey): Attention, Musketeer Goofy.

Goofy: Mickey, is that you?

Clarabelle (imitating Mickey): Yes, Musketeer Goofy. I am in need of your assistance.

Goofy: You sure are talking funny.

Clarabelle (imitating Mickey): I was eating escargot and uh... peanut butter.

Goofy: Hey, save some for me!

Clarabelle (imitating Mickey): Over here. Follow me, Goofy.

Clarabelle (evil laugh): Moo-ahaha!

Goofy: Mickey!

Clarabelle (imitating Mickey): You're almost there.

Goofy: Mickey! Doggone! Where’d he go? Mickey! Mickey! Uh oh...

Donald: Quack, two, three, four. Quack, two, three… Quack! Hello, handsome.

What the…

Beagle Boys: Booga booga!

Booga booga!

Booga booga booga booga booga!

Donald: Beat it, you guys.

Beagle Boys: I told you twits these Pete masks wouldn’t work. Let’s go to plan "B."

Donald: Hey, you ‘re the bad guys! Don’t move!

Uh oh.

What’s going on?

Uh oh.

Pete: (laughs)

Donald: Captain Pete!

Pete: I’m in such a good mood.

Come back here, you little bird beak!

Pluto: (barks)

Mickey: Pluto. Pluto, slow down, boy. What is it? Whoa! Hey, where’s Goofy? Donald!

Something strange is going on here.

Donald: Psst. Psst.

Mickey: Who’s there? You better come out of there, or I’m coming in after you! Donald? What’s the big idea? Come down from there! Why aren’t you at your post?

Donald: We got to get Goofy and get out of here!

Mickey: Goofy? Where is he? He's not at his post either.

Donald: Oh, no! He’s already got Goofy!

Mickey: Wait! Who’s got Goofy? Donald… stop! Donald, are you nuts? What’s going on?

Donald: Pete is gonna kidnap Princess Minnie so he can become king because he’s really a bad guy and he has a secret lair, and it’s really dark and scary! So the point is he’s gonna kill us if we get in his way! So we should run now as far away as we can!

Mickey: Donald, I can’t understand a word you say.

Donald: No!

Mickey: Put me down! Whoa! We can’t leave our posts like this! What would Captain Pete say?

Donald: Captain Pete is the bad guy!

Mickey: Captain Pete is the bad guy?

Donald: What?

Mickey: Pete’s trying to kidnap the princess?

Donald: Exactly!

Mickey: But, he made us musketeers.

Donald: It was all a lie.

Mickey: A lie? (becomes stern) Well, lie or no lie, musketeers don’t run from danger. And as long as we wear these uniforms, neither do we!

Donald: You said it. It’s every duck for himself!

Mickey: Donald, wait! Together, we can stop Captain Pete. Remember how we rescued the princess?

Donald: I was hiding.

Mickey: Hiding? Well… tonight, you came back to warn us… and that took courage, Donald. Come on. I’ll be right beside you… because we’re friends.

Donald: I just can’t. I’m sorry.

Mickey: Donald! Donald.

Thanks, boy. What is it? What is it, boy?

Pete: (laughs) Well, well, well. If it ain’t the one musketeer.

Mickey: Captain Pete, by the power vested in me as a musketeer… I arrest you, mister!

Pete: That’s a good one! Well, how about this? By the power invested in my fist, I clobber you!

Hey there! Hi there! Ho there! You ‘re as welcome as can be! (laughs)

Oopsie. I am such a butterfingers.

Mickey: Hey! Put me down! Don’t make me have to whoop you!

Pete: OK, OK, fine. Just hold still, you runt! Well, Mickey... it looks like this is the end of the line. (laughs)

Mickey: Think so? My pals will be right behind us.

Pete: Oh, sure. Uh-huh. The duck dumped you. Remember?

Mickey: Well… Goofy then!

Pete: The goof? He’s getting fitted for a halo.

Mickey (hopeless): No, no, no.

Pete: Yes, yes, yes! Face it, Mickey… it’s all for one… and you are on your own! Enjoy your brief stay here at the Mont St. Michel. You know, they say the tide comes in faster than horses! So long, runt! I got me tickets to the opera… a little something called… "I Just Can’t Wait to be King." (laughs)

Clarabelle: This is it, handsome. Get ready for the big sleep, the river of no return… the long day’s journey into night. (laughs)

Goofy: Gosh. Your sweet voice is music to my ears.

Clarabelle: Huh?

Goofy (singing): Your chains of love now hold me tight Your bovine beauty makes my heart take flight

Clarabelle (singing): You will not change my mind one smidge I’m going to drop you screaming off this bridge

Goofy: Clarabelle, you drive me nuts!

Chorus (singing): His love’s so sweet, his love’s so blind

Clarabelle (singing): Poor Goof…

Chorus (singing): You have to kill him, or he'll change your mind.

Clarabelle (singing): Poor grunge

Chorus (singing): Say farewell, to that goof poor grunge

Clarabelle (singing): Farewell

Chorus (singing): Cause it's your duty that he

Clarabelle & Chorus (singing): Takes the plunge

Goofy (singing): My milkmaid miss, you charm my soul You leave me utterly beyond control Call me a goof, but one thing’s clear Your melodious moo is music to my ears!

Chorus (singing): He's no Don Juan

Clarabelle (singing): He’s not real smart And yet he’s touched my little cowhide heart

Clarabelle & Chorus (singing): He loves my moo,

Clarabelle (singing): my cow-like gaze His numskull charm Has set my heart Ablaze

Clarabelle: Hurry, my love. You don’t have much time. Your friend Mickey is in dire peril.

Goofy: No, he’s not. He’s in the musketeers.

Clarabelle: I mean he’s in danger.

Donald: I’ll be a musketeer when cows fall from the sky. What? Uh oh!

Goofy: We’re coming, Mickey!

Donald: Put me down! Put me down! Goofy! Pete’s gonna kill us!

Goofy: Pete or no Pete, Mickey’s our pal, and we got to save him. All for one and one for all, remember? I know it’s the most hideous house of torture in all of France… but we’re going in there!

Gosh, Pluto. Could this be the end of the three musketeers?

Troubadour and chorus (singing): This is the end This is the end That Donald Duck has left poor Mickey Mouse to drown And Goofy trusted him, but Donald let him down We all berate him because we hate him He is a traitor, vacillator He’s a lousy second-rater Mangy mallard, he’s a coward Donald’s destiny has soured, it’s the end

Donald: I’ll show you, dirty tortoise!

Troubadour: That way, tiger.

Donald: Wait for me! Thanks for the song.

Goofy: Donald!

Donald: Come on! We’ve got to save Mickey!

Goofy: We’re coming, Mickey!

Mickey.

Donald: Mickey?

Goofy: Mickey, come back to us, pal. I think he’s coming out of it.

Mickey: Donald? Goofy? Pete told me you were a goner.

Goofy: Shucks. I ain’t… …Going nowhere without you, Mick.

Donald: Hey!

Mickey: Aw, pal. You came back.

Donald: Aw… of course I did.

Goofy: We wouldn’t let you down, Mick. We’re your friends.

Donald: Yeah. Come on. We’ve got to save the princess. Don’t you remember? All for one…

Goofy: Yeah.

Mickey: Aw, fellas, we’re not even real musketeers.

Goofy: Not real musketeers? Who says so? Listen, Donald might be a big chicken…

Donald: Hey!

Goofy: And you ‘re just a little guy… and I ain’t no genius, but I know one thing. When the three of us stick together…

Donald: We can do anything.

Mickey: And not Pete…

Goofy: Or nobody else can stop us!

Mickey: Musketeers, we’ve got a princess to rescue. Come on, Goof! Come on, Donald!

Donald: I’m right behind you!

Beagle Boys: Princess Minnie.

Your Grace.

Minnie: Captain Pete?

Pete: Bonjourney, princess.

Minnie: Where are my bodyguards?

Pete: (laughs) I’ll be your bodyguard tonight, sweet cheeks.

Minnie: This is an outrage!

Pete: No. It’s my nefarious plan to steal the throne.

Beagle Boys: Does this crown make my ears look big?

Minnie: (screams)

Pete: You know what to do.

Beagle Boys: Righty-o, boss.

Goofy: Look! There it is!

Pete: OK, shortstop, do your stuff.

Beagle Boys (imitating Minnie): Attention, my loyal subjects. Due to the stress of princessing… my duties have become too overwhelming… for a delicate flower such as myself. Therefore, I now present your new ruler, King Pete!

Pete: I did it, Mommy! I’m king of all France! I feel like eating a snail. Now, on with the show.

Troubadour: Allo. C’est moi.

Opera singers: Come, friends who plough the sea Truce to navigation, take another station…

Mickey: That-a boy, Pluto. Find the princess!

Opera singers: With cat-like tread, upon our prey we steal In silence dread, our cautious way we feel No sound at all, we never speak a word

Mickey: Did you find the princess, boy? Good work, Pluto.

Minnie: Our brave musketeers have come to rescue us.

Mickey: Don’t worry, Your Highness. We’ll save you. Alright, you two, drop the princess!

Beagle Boys: With pleasure.

Opera singers: Poor wandering ones …Can help you find true peace of mind… What? What the sam hill? The princess! Do something! Sir. Yes, sir. Scaling rough and rugged passes Climb the hearty little lasses Till the bright sea-shore they gain

Pete: Huh? What?! What the Sam Hill? The princess! Do something!

Beagle Boys: Sir, yes, sir!

Opera singers: Scaling rough and rugged passes Climb the hearty little lasses Till the bright sea-shore they gain

Mickey: How dare you try and kidnap the princess! Nobody walks away with the princess… while Mickey, Donald, and Goofy are on the job!

Goofy: Hey! Someone’s walking away with the princess.

Mickey: Let's get ‘em!

Beagle Boys: (screams)

Opera singer (rapid-fire): I am the very model of a modern major-general I’ve information vegetable, animal… historical From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical About binomial theorem, I am teeming with a lot of news With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

Pete: She’s getting away!

Opera singers: I am the very model Of a modern major-general

Mickey: Princess!

Ouch.

Pete: Two down, and one to go.

Mickey: I almost got it.

Minnie: Oh, no! Look out!

Mickey: What?

Pete: This is it, squeaky… mano y mouse-o.

A-ha! Oh ho! Ha ha!

Mickey: Ha ha!

Pete: Ho ho!

Mickey: Uh oh.

Audience: (gasps)

Pete: It’s all over, Mickey… and you ‘re all alone. And now with you finally out of the way… getting rid of the princess will be easy as pie.

Mickey: Want to bet?

Pete: That’s a sucker bet.

Donald: Yeah, and you‘re the sucker!

Mickey: Ready, musketeers?

Mickey, Donald & Goofy: All for one and one for all!

Pete: Uh oh.

Donald: How’s this for a coward?

Pete: Ow!

Goofy: How’s this for a doofus?

Mickey: And I may be small, Pete… but I’ve got friends that make me ten feet tall.

Pete: Aw, nuts.

Mickey: Timber!

Pete: I hate happy endings.

Audience: (applause)

Minnie: Daisy... are you kissing a commoner?

Daisy: C’est la vie.

Minnie: C’est I’amore!

Audience: (applause)

Minnie: Please kneel.

In gratitude for saving France… I hereby dub thee, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy… all royal musketeers!

Mickey: What do you say, everybody? All for one…

Mickey, Donald, Goofy & the Musketeers: And one for all!

Troubadour: Bravo, my friends! Our three heroes have finally… made their dream come true. I think this calls for… one more song!

The Musketeers (singing): All for one, hey, all for one and one for all Musketeers sing all for one and one for all And all for one and one for all And all for one and all!

The End

#oc #oc art

3 notes · View notes

idyllic-affections · 1 year ago

Note

I strongly believe that Venti's that aroace friend who somehow is the best at giving love advice for some reason lol. Also, Aphe I got busy with school projects but I swear I'm still here!! TvT

Summer vacation is coming and I'm wondering how I'll survive in the heat when two days ago we had a thermal sensation of 60°C (140 °F) where I live. :''''

I'm gonna be sending more asks if I live /hj

Sending platonic kisses and hugs. Even though I'm a bit shy to send asks, I get really happy when you answer mine. Also, drink water please!! I don't know if where you live is also hot, but hydration is always necessary! :D

This also applies to the anon family, stay safe guys. I'm going to break into your houses to make sure you guys are hydrated if needed!! >:| /j (really joking, I don't break into houses... Or do I?)

-🦢 anon <3

HI DEAR I MISSED YOU MWAH MWAH 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 it feels like a while since i've seen you in my inbox!!!

he SOOO is!!!!! venti is that aroace friend that somehow has the perfect advice for allos. really, he's just saying the things he's observed in other peoples' healthy relationships over the years!!

oh that is how i KNOW we must be on opposite sides of the ocean.... winter break is coming for me adjfkshajt <33 but please please please stay hydrated, okay? i live in a very humid and hot state. i know how unbearable the heat can get.

thankfully, where i live seems to be... sort of cooling down. though it has still been ridiculously hot, considering how it's supposed to be fall (almost winter, but not quite yet!) for me. but i will absolutely be sure to stay hydrated 🫶🫶

#aphelion replies: 🦢 anon 🌸

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buzzdixonwriter · 18 days ago

Text

Deathwatch [FICTOID]

Allo brought his grandfather’s evening meal up the long, winding mountain path to the observatory. Bitter winter winds tugged at his clothes without effect; as a child of the mountains, Allo suffered far worse without complain.

His grandfather’s observatory sat atop the peak, long thin strains of genetically engineered goatsilk trailing out in all directions to neighboring peaks.

Allo knew many people debated the value of the observatory, but what is done is done and as long as it required to extensive repairs, his grandfather would work there.

He passed through the heavily insulated outer doors to his grandfather’s lair. Allo always felt a thrill of the forbidden when he visited his grandfather. While his culture did not expressly forbid electronics and computers, they did regard them with suspicion.

Only rarely did they trust someone like Allo’s grandfather to use them.

“Allo, my boy! Come to me! What culinary joys have you brought?”

Allo grinned at his grandfather archaic grandiloquent words. “Same as ever, grandfather. Hot stew in an insulated contained, fresh greens kept chilled by the night air. Do you have enough tea?”

“Plenty, my boy, plenty,” his grandfather said before sighing, “Though I may not need a resupply.”

Allo arched an eyebrow. His grandfather gestured for him to sit and share his evening meal.

“You know the story, don’t you?” his grandfather said between bites. “How the world once relied on wealth and power, how the wealthiest and most powerful ravaged the planet for their own benefit, and as the world went into spasms as they pillaged it, they built great ships to sail to the stars, looking for a new paradise to plunder.”

Allo nodded, savoring the delicious taste of rat stew.

“They left a thousand years ago, abandoning us, mocking us as they departed, heading to a world so far away it takes the light from its sun almost four years to reach us.”

“I know all that, I do well in my history and science courses.”

His grandfather chuckled. “I’m sure you do. Hereditary and all that. Anyway, they left us, taking flight in a fleet of two hundred and seventy ships, heading to a world they called Proxima Centauri B. “They thought they planned for every contingency, but they didn’t. Three of their ships never left this solar system. The rest failed, one by one.”

“And they couldn’t return,” said Allo, “because they used half their fuel to leave our solar system and would need the other half to land on the new world. If they turned around they’d waste all their fuel just getting back, they wouldn’t have enough to land.”

His grandfather nodded grimly. “Sometimes the failure came mercifully, with abrupt suddenness, sparing those aboard the terror of their fate, sometimes slowly, painfully, like a child drowning under the ice.”

Allo shuddered at the thought. “Why didn’t the other ships try to save them?”

“They did…at first,” said his grandfather. He swept his arm over to a huge bookshelf crammed with ancient tomes going back hundreds of years. “Those of us who manned the observatory over the centuries kept careful track of their reports and messages. A few of the earliest ships to suffer catastrophic failure managed to get their crew and passengers transferred to other ships.

“But as more and more ships failed, the surviving ships refused any more refugees. ‘You’ll starve us, use up all our resources,’ they said. On occasion wars would break out among them, resulting in all ships involved suffering fatal damage.

“Now they are down to one ship. It entered the outskirts of the new solar system just a few months ago, but they suffered a fuel line rupture. Now they are falling in a slow spiral that eventually will plunge them into the heart of that sun.

“Not that they’ll live that long.”

Allo looked up quizzically. “Their pressure hull is breached. They’re trying to save themselves by sealing off interior compartments one by one, but the bulkheads eventually fail. Now there’s just a handful of them crammed into their darkened control room, sending out messages, reporting their fate.”

Allo shiver, but not from the cold. “It hardly seems fair.”

“Fair?”

“These people dying, they aren’t responsible. Their ancestors plundered this world, built those ships.”

“I might agree with you if they weren’t infected with the same mental disorder that led their ancestors on such a self-destructive course.” He checked his clock. “We’re coming into alignment. Listen, my boy. Hear what they have to say.”

He turned up the single speaker in his lair. “This message is from four years ago,” he reminded Allo. “Whatever was going to happen has already happened.”

Allo strained to hear the tinny voice coming over the ancient speaker. Any common language his ancestors and the surviving crew and passengers shared long since diverged from one another to the point where he couldn’t understand was the voice was saying…

…but he could certainly hear the tone accurately.

The speaker sounded terrified, yet at the same time oddly entitled.

“They’re demanding anyone who hears this to come and save them,” his grandfather translated. Over the centuries he and his predecessors carefully noted the language shifts and could speak not only the divergent tongues but the ancient original language of departure as well. “They’re plunging toward the sun. They won’t fall in this time but the heat and radiation is intense. Already several of the weakest people in the control room have died, and the survivors are eating their flesh.”

His grandfather cocked his head to listen more closely. Allo noticed the speaker’s voice sounded more panicked. “The bulkhead is starting to buckle,” his grandfather translated. “They’re going to try to stop up any gaps where air might leak out -- “

Allo and his grandfather heard a short sharp whistle then a dull thud followed by a whoosh…

…and then silence.

His grandfather looked quite thoughtful, almost sad. “And that is that,” he said wistfully. He smiled sadly at Allo. “I’ll finish my report, tell it to the university, but my task here is eventually done. They can start dismantling the observatory and share the components with others who need the material.”

“What will you do?” Allo asked.

His grandfather smiled more warmly this time. “What can I do? I’ll live.”

#fictoid

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