#GODDAYUM WORD VOMIT

[urlocalwormtoday]

how do ppl not always feel paranoid while playing evirma ?? like I've seen so many streams and clips where people are just sitting around and idly chatting and enjoying the scenery like how do you do that ??? how do you look at the forest and think 'wow, those graphics are really pretty!' rather than 'that forest is full of bushes potential enemies could be hiding in, I must be wary'

in legacy I was still pretty paranoid but it wasn't as bad, like I could stop and take a rest in a field or on a rock once in awhile and just chill. and most of the time it was pretty and I could enjoy the scenery without the constant looming in the back of my mind whispering 'you are vulnerable. you are weak and exposed. what if there's an allo hiding in the woods behind you, waiting to attack?'

but in evirma ?? honestly I can't convince my mind to rest and chill for 5 seconds unless I'm underwater or in the air.

am I a fully grown utahraptor in an empty field? I heard more utahs like an hour ago, they could be cannibals. they could be nearby. THEY COULD BE LOOKING FOR ME RIGHT NOW. THEY COULD BE LOOKING AT ME RIGHT NOW

am I a young carno in a peaceful jungle at night? the night vision can only go so far and my footsteps seem so loud. I could be in immediate danger and I wouldn't know until I was dead. the world is full of dangers and I must always remain alert

am I a stego in a herd with like five others? they could be the herbivore equivalent of cannibals. they could turn on me. there could be a mix packing carni group coming towards us and we would have no clue

I think the paranoia was beat into me so badly by legacy AND evirma that the same paranoia is what I default to when I'm starting a new survival game. I immediately assume everything is out to get me, big or small

[spring-demonx]

[CupiPara] Alan's Route Finished! (vague spoilers)

I see why people love this, omg! This route actually almost made me cry-- almost. I don't even know where to begin! (lol) I'm writing this while literally only just starting the secret route, and already I can kinda see why some may have mixed feels going into that when they complete Alan's story last. I did however start tearing up, especially in the scene just before the confrontation with Jupiter because godDAYUM the voice acting is just so good, wth. You can hear the raw emotion in Alan's voice, and the situation combined with it is justಥ_ಥ The whole relationship with Lynette was just so😭💕💕 and Alan is so sweet I can't-

I see why he's more of the popular fan fav, though I will say maybe my expectations were wither a little too high, or it just takes more to make me cry because with what I heard of the degree of angst in this route by others, I was expecting it to be a lot worse😅 Still very emotional, and I really enjoyed it! I'm so happy they're together for eternity at last🥹💜 ALSO FUCK THE DII CONSENTES AND THE "obey the Gods, this is against blah blah blah" CRAP! Idk why Jupiter can't go against that when he's the literal god of gods and that may be explained later on, but srsly screw Mercury in that one scene. You could see that Jupiter wanted both of them to stay together if he could, but y'know, Celestia being so self-centered that it literally lies to all the ones being used and abused (sounds like governments and capitalism irl, tbh)

But that scene where Cupid is taken back to Celestia and talks with Mars, Venus and Minerva really nailed in how shady Minerva has been bc she's the only one who lied to Lynette, saying she wouldn't disappear and contradicting herself on the "demons corrupt and charm you even though you're a godess" despite saying otherwise way earlier in the route💀 I really don't know how to feel abt her now after Raul and Alan's routes man, I'll probably still like her if I replay the other three parasite's routes, but yeah.

Sorry this is more of a word vomit and not something more thought-out lol, I just wanted to get my feelings on it out while it's still relatively fresh in my mind before everything's too vague for me to write in-depth thoughts post😂😅