#how do i stop? lol this is a problem
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I’m trying to figure out which of my AU’s to talk about! Especially because the brainrot is continuously eating at my mind lmao- this’ll be a short poll so, think fast ig?
#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#rc9gn#randy cunningham#howard weinerman#first ninja#ninja nomicon#rc9gn randy#rc9gn howard#rc9gn first ninja#rc9gn nomicon#i’m not tagging all of them#i will not tag all the characters heckity chores are just boring#alternate universe#rc9gn au#you can also send me asks about these! i don’t mind!#send me asks#open asks#into the ninjaverse lol#into the ninjaverse is what all of these are technically called#hyperfixation#i have so many thoughts#poll time#this is a short poll i’ll make a longer one later prommy#im hyperfixating again#i am hyperfixating#how do i stop? lol this is a problem#but they are my blorbos#open requests#i am not closing anon! not yet#how do i stop fixating? i don’t! i’m trapped here lol
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#tumblr polls#polls#Sorry if the wording is weird. I thought ''be considered X where I live'' would make the most sense since 'tallness' or etc. is sort of#subjective to the people around you or your specific culture/area/etc. And if I just said ''I'm tall'' or ''I'm short'' then#the response might be 'well how do I define whether I'm tall or not?'' or etc. But then most people could probably look#at the people around them in daily life they interact with and compare based on that to get a more literal idea or something#..ANYWAY.. lol.. as usual just thought of some random thing and was like.. hrmm... i wonder what the most common#feeling about that would be.#personally I'm not even short but I just want to be really really tall... like... 7 feet tall or something. In a fantasy world type of way#of course. so like a super tall elf creature. More realistically I suppose you get health problems past a certain point#so maybe I'd be happy with 6'2“ or so.#Absolutely no hate towards people with this preference but I've always had trouble understanding the idea of wanting to be shorter#so you're Small And Cute or this and that. or whatever the base reason is. I suppose I would understand it from a surivval prespective#maybe you want to be able to hide in your environment easier and blend into a crowd. I personally would like people to be inspired to run#away from me when they see me though gjhbj#In an average grocery store or something just a normal day but then some 8 foot tall wizard man walks in and so everyone#kind of backs away slowly = yaaay I get the aisle all to myself and can shop for my produce in peace.#(except for the fact that there's a subsection of people who would intepret it as spectacle and would run towards instead of away#and pull out their dumbass phones to film Weird Thing Happening. in which case. spell of 'phone melts into molten plastic in your hands#stop filming strangers in public without their consent' be cast upon ye. )
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I feel like sw as a whole puts a decent amount of effort into making sure charecters are out of the picture for major events (Ahsoka being presumed dead during tot, Ezra vanishing into wild space, all of rouge one, etc) it mostly happens with force users for obous reasons but...
Idk I feel like they don't nessacarally need to do that? Like there's an easy answer to "if x was alive why didn't they show up during y event" and it's "they were busy" they don't need to be dead or presumed dead to be otherwise preoccupied. We didn't even see all that much of the rebelion in tot (at least as far as named characters go) and there was other stuff to do even with the death star.
"Where were all thease people during tot why didn't they help?"
Maybe they were doing other stuff off screen, or running other mishions? I really don't get why this question is such a big deal?
this is a lowkey insane take i love it, like "why weren't you helping destroy the planet-killer?" "oh you know, my hamster needed a haircut"
#jokes aside the issue with saying 'they were busy' is it's character assassination#it's not so much 'why weren't they at every event' that makes sense -- the galaxy isn't 12 square metres it's HUGE#not every character will be at every important event!! yes!#but having any rebel jedi present in the ot would ruin luke's story (he believes he's the last jedi!)#thru their absence andor points out how insanely (issues that would be solved asap in tcw/rebels/etc are HUGE problems for nonjedi)#having a jedi available-but-not-present is wack bc it goes against their entire character. they want to help others!!!#theyd want to do their best to help stop the fascists lmao!! there's nothing in the galaxy they'd go 'oh i shld do this instead' abt#tbh it could be really fun to have a tl4j-but-in-the-ot au actually#thanks for the ask!#i didnt mean to say that much LOL
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skill issue
#lol i have zero problems making them how do people struggle#just stop making boring ass halmark movie men#thats your problem
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Happy ten years to transcendence au and almost as long to Brian the organ duck! How time flies...
I haven't drawn anything for this au in ages but I did remake the 8tracks playlists on Spotify if anyone uses that. Before Brian shows up, imagine Dipper and Mabel are discussing songs to add to the answering machine playlist (which. that's. Did I mean hold music all this time? lol)
#transcendence au#carliedraws#carliedrawstau#traditional#sketchbook#i stopped being a mod like nooot even a year in because. life. but i have always held affection for the au since#might take a spin through the blog to see what happened on there since i left#yall are so creative#maybe ill do an actual entry for the raffle contest thingy? or is that weird cause i used to mod LOL#but for now this because i was feeling nostalgic#audio#did i have a playlist tag#organ duck#body horror w#the thing I can't believe about this character#is that the initial idea for him came from someone making fun of how i said oregon ducks in a stream#i should stream again someday#i dont do digital much these days because of eye problems but i can do it in limited stretches#(how ELSE is one meant to say oregon ducks. no one i know around here says ore-uh-gone)#(i live in non-OR part of the PNW tho and my dad is from OH so. who knows lol)
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Pretty clothes for you! ✨ (Patreon)
#My art#Solanaceae#Satine#Ahh!!! Even with this one being done I'm still so nervous about it somehow!! Haha ♪#It's been so so soooo long since I've participated in an Event that I've forgotten everything I've ever learned or done in one haha#But yes! This is an event piece! DCS put out an art call and I wanted to join and I'm very glad I did! :D#I would consider myself a very casual fan of Solanaceae like it's been way too long since I've reread in earnest but I like to stop by#Lovely art and characters and interesting movement and feelings and problems everyone runs into it's quite cool :D#Satine is probably my favourite of the bunch even if it has been too long since I've properly caught up with everyone!!#I remember always feelings very positive and like - mixed-love? They're complex in a way that I really like#Ahh all the more reason to catch up again! So I can properly express how I feel about Satine /now/ not just partially remembered haha#I'm also just generally a fan of DCS' art style and passion and ah <3#I don't think I've mentioned it anywhere but DCS was one of my Very Big - maybe even Main inspirations to make VargasLovingHours#And then I also get to draw their pretty lad in Satine! Yes!!#I have a lot to feel thankful for inspiration-wise haha ♥#This was a fun outfit to design :D I really wanted Satine to feel pretty 'cause they are!#A kind of cool pink and scalloping I will always choose scalloping if there is an option for scalloping to be chosen#And I got to bring back a bit of the rainbow-opal look I used for Winter King a bit back as well! :D#And mirrors and sparklies and just - yes! Many good and fun things!!#I do think it's a bit funny since those were supposed to be thought bubbles but then I just - forgot to make the little bubble tails lol#Remembered them on the flowers! But not the thought bubbles! Haha oh well ♪#Does not diminish the cutes or the pretties ♫
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(x)
(this is a pls stop blaming juliette lewis for nat’s arc and death post <3)
#regardless of whether you loved the death or hated it YOU CAN STOP BLAMING JULIETTE NOW OKAY??#like even people who liked it overall but had qualms the party line is well I’m sure it was juliette leaving early so that’s why xyz#no! it was not! this was the plan <3 and idc if you hate love or nothing it I just think like making these excuses for things is weird#like do I get why some people might have assumed juliette might have left early sure yes but also idk like PEOPLE ARE FALLIBLE#showrunners are fallible! and that’s OKAY! they’re PEOPLE! and you CAN love every choice they make but jumping through hoops#to find *reasons* for the things you didn’t like is so interesting to me cause like…it’s okay!!! they can do a little thing you didn’t love!#you can even SAY you didn’t love it if you want and that’s okay too! or not! but stop blaming juliette lewis for whatever you didn’t like#also the rest of the article is an interesting read!#now I’ll do conjecture and tell you it is CONJECTURE for sure okay disclaimer#but after reading this article I think it is even possible Juliette’s anger with nats arc was partially BECAUSE she knew her death was soon#like maybe! who knows! not us! but I don’t even know how I became this hardcore juliette defender bc honestly I dosagree w her on a lot lol#but like I’ve seen people say oh she’s difficult and she made them do this and she’s a problem and she always does this#HELLO??? stop blaming women for shit baselessly??#(if you casually wondered if maybe she wanted to leave and didn’t say it like it was fact or use it to pin blame on her for stuff…#…this isn’t directed at you)#but some people got VICIOUS#juliette lewis#natalie scatorccio#yellowjackets
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I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today
#we do not see it. we cannot read all of a sudden.#rye having war flashbacks to watcher conferences and firmly going 'we are *not* getting derailed by the metaphysics here folks'#rare stern moderator/dad hat moment from ingellvar lol. he's Seen Some Shit in his time (debates that raged over the multiple#and not always concurrent life times of the participants involved. ain't no academic rivalry like watcher academic rivalry#because watcher academic rivalry doesn't stop even when everyone involved is dead. and the rest of us have to live with it)#I. do not think the way I'm getting this quest is how it's meant to be experienced so I'm a bit at a loss as to how to pace it out#I've been an annoying little completionist so I have ALL the statues and could just marathon it out#but that does not feel like the best way for the story and upcoming reveals to work. hm. how to do this#I'm supposed to go fail to save weisshaupt right around now I can't be having study group with all of you rn as much of a delight as it is#rye is nominally an andrastian as mainstream nevarrans generally are but as I gather is the case with many of the watchers#what he *actually* believes in is the grand necropolis itself haha#(and the philosophy of history memory death and relationship (as well as responsibility) between the past and the present#and indeed the future that it represents. we have a duty. to what has been to what is and to what will come after us. good shit)#the nevarran/mortalitasi element just makes their lack of care or respect for chantry orthodoxy *mwha* that extra bit special#the nevarran lack of concern bordering on quiet condescending disdain for official chantry doctrine and policy my beloved#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#poor harding really is living through the most relentless 'if this is the maker testing my faith he sure be testing me' gauntlet of all tim#good news: god might be real! bad news: god might not even be a real thing but more like a magical accident or vibration or something#honestly tho. if we could get full lovecraftian incomprehensible to human conception the maker -- He is a particle and a wave style --#that's the only way I'd be cool with him or them actually answering the question of his existence. that'd be kind of sick#'yes. but no. but maybe. depends on how you define god. and exist. and he. and does.' *ingellvar sets of the METAPHYSICS!! klaxon#that's a time out folks good game but easy on the jargon and navel-gazing definition of terms next round#rye and lucanis have some slightly differing views about at what exact stage of a problem murder becomes a valid solution#('well you just kill them and then I'm the one who has to deal with the next much longer part')#but they're surprisingly kind of vibing on a lot of other stuff lol. good for them <3#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
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Borne out of some sort of chaotic energy, the dragonfly/sunflower quilt top is complete!
#now i gotta decide how to quilt it...#maybe I'll post in that quiltblr community later to ask opinions? still gotta figure out how those things work#anyways i have mixed feelings on it even now.. i think i might've liked a different flower fabric more? like lilacs or something#or even strawberries! that could've been cool#I usually plan more is the problem but I needed to do something with my hands...#got through a summer slump and it's pretty good! it's cool it's cozy#i got space backing fabric for it and it'll fit my bed!#so that's good lol my partner might stop dragging all my blankets onto him when he sleeps over#quilting#my projects
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one thing about drawing the posties is that (at least in my designs) raven and jill are wearing the most flamboyant brightly colored impractical outfits ever. then you have michael. dude in tshirt and jeans with a flannel jacket
#shaperaverse#trying to work on my asha design… she’s the only one i don’t have a good picture for. also william but he can kinda be whatever lol#an old childhood friend of mine was named asha and i can’t stop thinking of irl asha when talking about shaperaverse asha#trips me up when doing character designs lol#same problem with Jill but I wasn’t around my irl Jill as much as irl asha#Han’s problem is that I know EXACTLY what she looks like I just can’t draw it. same with lloyd. I hate his hair#shoutout to raven though. easiest character to imagine easiest character to draw. that simplicity makes up for how fucking complicated his#accessories are lol. at least he’s better than molly (cr). drew him once and my hands hurt for days#raven and molly should meet. that would destroy reality I think but 1) it’d be so so funny snd 2) they would enjoy the sex
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So hard being a sukuna enjoyer and trying to find fics about him because you get one of two options
1. God awful out of character reader insert porn where you’re his uwu submissive (normally terrified of him) concubine or some shit but GASSSSPPPP he ACTUALLY cares about you and is soft for YOU ONLY and he wants you to GET PREGNANT with HIS HEIR oh my GOD
Or
2. God awful out of character suku.fushi or suku.ita where the plot is like what if sukuna was a MAFIA BOSS and he got OBSESSED WITH THEM and KIDNAPPED them and also it was INCEST and OMEGAVERSE and they call him DADDY while he FUCKS THEM INTO THE MATTRESS and talks about their PUSSY the WHOLE time
And both make me want to throw up in my mouth and momentarily wish I had the power to arbitrarily ban ppl from posting on the internet
#his tag on ao3 is truly a desolate fucking wasteland of the most radioactive garbage I have ever laid eyes on#like ???????#okay given his character I GUESS I understand why ppl are so obsessed with writing more ‘’’’taboo’’’’ stuff with him#but like. number one you could do it in a lot more interesting or tasteful way lol#and number two#half the time???? you aren’t even using canon verse or exploring his actual character??????#they’re just using him for some annoyingly horrendous poorly written sa fantasy in the shittiest AU imaginable#like what is the point#I GET IT you just wanna fuck an older man with a whack power dynamic#stop making it MY PROBLEM#stop putting it IN FRONT OF MY EYEBALLS#no matter how I try to filter I can’t fucking escape this shit 😭😭😭😭#like sorry idk I think he’s interesting because of his actual personality and abilities and history and relationship to canon#not because you can use him as a stand in for every poorly written edgy male booktok love interest#uuuggggghhhhhhhh#can I please just find some good canon verse fics#maybe with some sukume to explore that relationship#or theories about his past#or his relationship to megumi or yuuji that is NOT from the lens of him wanting to break their cervix idk#kaz rambles
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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I've noticed that Stansas take criticisms towards themselves as "hate" towards Sansa, they're really never beating the self-insert allegations 😭
#anti sansa stans#/why do people hate Sansa so much/ about a post that's talking about how stansas act in fandom oh they're so delusional#also the amount of times I've been told my blog is full of Sansa hate but I've only ever talked about her stans lol#but are we actually surprised about that? all they know how to do is play the victim so acknowledging the terrible behavior#on their side is out of the question...it's everybody else who has the problem clearly 🙄#also really annoying how we're expected to tip-toe around Sansa and never criticize anything even tangentially related to her#or else we have to be called delusional and misogynistic by her stans#good thing I stopped caring about being nice and fair in this fandom I WILL be saying what I want and they can cry about it 🫶��
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not for anything but friendly reminder that ~fandom discourse~ about where women belong (or people you perceive as women) is misogynistic as fuck. or what they're allowed to say, or what they're allowed to write about, or what they're allowed to enjoy.
next time you see someone having a tantrum and vaguing, especially if their posts from week to week completely contradict each other, perhaps analyze if the common denominator is "a gross woman said something and now i'm mad" without otherwise adhering to any actual principles.
#like i wonder if someone consistently preaches that we need to respect each other's headcanons#but they are specifically bothered by women & people they assume are women#and they keep specifically complaining about how ANNOYING GIRLS are the ones with such STUPID ideas#if maybe that person is just a fucking misogynist LMAO#and maybe we shouldn't give them the time of day :)#but what do i know lol im just a dumb girl with my dumb girl brain#anyway sorry guys i hate posting vagues i think it's really immature but like how much of this do we fucking tolerate#and can you please stop reblogging him bc tumblr's block & mute functions are terrible#if i'm not vague about it does it still count as a vague?#i hate public drama but like he didn't want to resolve it in private either and won't shut the fuck up haha sorry#but i also fucking hate bullies so#:)#also in b4 fandom clique conspiracies start floating around#if you act like a misogynist dickhead and get blocked by a bunch of people#it's not a cabal of mean girls ganging up on you#maybe you're the problem lol#knock it the fuck off aren't you tired of this it's been a year man#get a life.
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'please i have a family !! of ocs'
#just me hi#i think i was having some sort of difficulty in work at a pizza place while playing w/ my brother hgkfhsjv#/having a normal moment rn. how's the. w. [stares out the window]#i haven't had this problem in a while where i am so Into a thing that i cannot conceive of anything to do w/ it. like i could be drawing.#but also i may be physically incapable bc the Vibes from the Thoughts are so strong lmfshvg#like could you Imagine? Imagine. woahg [bonks its head on the window]#the ! ! ! everything !!!#gwauuuuuuuuuu [rolls around]#there are some traditional doodles i wanna digitize i like em a lot but until them i'm just gonna be here. brain full of cherry juice hfvsh#maybe i'll get a doodle or a drabble or a character description done who knows !! but houuuu#i have software that's really good at coming up with stuff but not like. actually making stuff long-term. just a lot of creative stops and#goes. oh wells! it'll happen whenever i can get it to lol :)#i have GOT to go lie face-down in some leaves about this though. toodles Bfhsvh .w.
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Me when im stuck in the past: no no I need an answer I need DRY HEAVE to find an answer I need to find a wY OUT I need...VOMITS it HURTS why did it happen why oh God let me change it please god—
Me when I get back to the present: WHEEEEEE LOG INTO MY HAPPY AND LEVEL UP MY LALA😀🌈🌼🍭🦋✨️💗🌞
#therapist: would you stop worshipping the problem and ACTUALIZING your pain. you're isolating and obsessing#me: no im...yeah ok lol#therapist: im gonna level w you. shape up. remember how u were this summer?#me: well...i was That Bitch#therapist: damn straight.#i love when therapy slingshots me into the present#i go from OH GOD IT'S REALLY OVER💔🌧😭🪦😔#to like. oh god...it's really over☀️🕊#i dont have to stress. i can just let it go#it doesn't reflect on me#it may hurt but that's life. keep going girl#his actions his choices have no reflection on you honey! that's his world and you dont have to be in it!#baby you loved him so good now go do the same for yourself. you're CHOOSING to be by yourself remember#you dont need the first person to come along#tho theyve come and gone lmao..several of them slay#i love myself i will no longer accept what does not feel good‼️
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